#avpd

[probablyavpd]

Not many people talk about how deep emotional neglect hurts you.

I’m afraid to want things. I’m afraid to ask for help. I’m afraid to tell someone something if they seem in a bad mood. I can’t process when someone is nice to me. I can’t handle rejection, but my brain literally short circuits if someone gives me a compliment to the point where sometimes the rejection is better.

There are lots of overlap with emotional abuse, but emotional neglect hurts just as much. And it’s even worse that it usually goes undetected, so a lot of people can’t tell they’re being neglected until it’s too late.

[bunnighost]

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

[astrangerthatlovesyou]

“It’s okay to not be okay”

Unless it impacts your work performance…

Or your grades

Or how you act

Or if it causes you to say no

Or if you’re harder to be around

Or if you need time alone

Or if you talk about it

Or show symptoms

“It’s okay to not be okay”

Unless you have trauma

Unless you have one of those “scary” mental illnesses

Unless it inconveniences me

Unless you’re undiagnosed

Unless you cry or scream or make a scene

Unless you don’t keep that shit to yourself

Unless you make me uncomfortable

Unless I can’t infantilize or fetishize you

Unless you have hallucinations

Unless you have psychosis

Unless you get angry

Unless I think you’re cringe

Unless you can’t preform hygiene tasks

Unless you’re disabled, or trans, or gay, or not white, or fat, or AFAB, or intersex, or a man… so I guess anyone

“It’s okay to not be okay”

As long as nobody ever finds out.

Our society has a severe issue with performative activism, and mental health is a huge example of this. Every time someone considers reaching out, they run through this list mentally. This is why true activists and resources need to be loudly supportive of all the things on this list. Take the subtext out of your support.

[dailydivergent]

Neurodivergent reminder: Overstimulation feels a lot like anxiety, and understimulation feels a lot like depression.

More importantly, you don't need to know which it is to practice self-care.

Self-caring anxiety and overstimulation looks the same:

Recognize you're feeling big feelings

Take as many deep breaths as your need to slow your mind

Identify what’s causing the feeling, whether sensory, environmental, or situational

Minimize that cause as much as possible immediately

Self-caring depression and understimulation looks the same:

Recognize you’re in need of stimulation

Turn on an interesting long-form video of some kind

Do some quick exercise like a walk or jumping jacks

Call a friend that'll let you infodump

If you're neurodivergent and easily get stuck on labelling things — I see you.

I'm here to remind you that you don't need to know what it is to take care of it in the meantime.

You can — will — figure it out later.

[motormouthedfool]

bitches be like "do i have a personality disorder or am i just looking for attention or am i just trying to find excuses for behaving the way i do"

im bitches

[cluster-c-chaos]

also this is the last thing for now, but when I was first figuring this stuff out (pre-diagnosis), I googled "is it possible to have more than one personality disorder?" and found the answer to be "yes, but steer clear of someone who does!"

so I just wanted to say... if you have more than one personality disorder, you are still worthy of good things. you can still live a good life. you can still have strong connections to other people, and you can still learn to love yourself. having a personality disorder doesn't make you a bad person, and neither does having several personality disorders

[fairiencarnate]

Living with avoidant behaviours means that for you to see me and be able to judge me, good or bad, inherently it means I am trying. Maybe not by yours, but by my standards I am succeeding too.

I don't think people understand how earth shatteringly terrifying it is to look for new jobs or meet new people with a panic disorder or social phobia. It puts me in a mindset where I have to actively remind myself that ending my life to escape the perceived danger is counterproductive, I am that out of my mind with panic. I know it doesn't make sense but knowing that doesn't stop the visceral fear from being so real. I wish people knew I don't want to be this way and I am actively fighting against it at all times even when it looks to others like I'm hiding away. The fact that I am still here, the fact that I answer messages sometimes and visit my family, the fact that I apply for jobs and leave the house to run errands at all is testament to how hard I'm trying.

If I stopped trying and gave in to my default state I would be shrivelled and pasty, dehydrated and sick from being too numb to feed myself, curled half-conscious and unshowered in grimy bed sheets, covered in nervous-picking sores, popping pills or drinking myself into slumber. I would not speak to a soul, not even immediate family. I wouldn't post at all. You would not know I exist.

For you to see me and be able to judge me, inherently means I am trying. Because I'm here and I'm not just awake. I'm the scariest thing I can be - perceivable.

[bunnighost]

[bloodstainsonthefloor]

neurodivergent people are not immune to being ableist

you as a neurodivergent person are not immune to being ableist

[astrangerthatlovesyou]

Having AvPD is like: I’m so open, everyone knows everything about me. That’s terrifying, everyone must hate how much I share. God I feel so exposed I feel sick. And the last time you opened up to someone was October of 2021 when you told your mom you were a little stressed.

[saffigon]

shoutout to aros wPDs

shoutout to cluster a aros. shoutout to aros wPPD. shoutout to aros wSTPD. shoutout to aros wSZPD

shoutout to cluster b aros. shoutout to aros wASPD. shoutout to aros wBPD. shoutout to aros wHPD. shoutout to aros wNPD

shoutout to cluster c aros. shoutout to aros wAVPD. shoutout to aros wDPD. shoutout to aros wOCPD

[starfishinthedistance]

One thing (among many) that people need to keep in mind when they say things like "oh if you think you have a mental disorder, consult a professional" is that a lot of professionals will not consider evaluating and/or diagnosing you with something you bring up yourself. Especially the more uncommon/complex the disorder is. For things like MDD or GAD you likely won't have that problem, for things like OCD or ADHD they'll likely be suspicious but still comply somewhat, but for things like personality disorders or DID most professionals will completely brush you off and refuse to evaluate you. Because they think you're attention seeking and diagnosis shopping, and that you couldn't possibly have it, even if you haven't done anything to earn that suspicion.

For disorders like that, unless the professional themselves suspects you have it and comes up with that idea themselves, good luck getting evaluated at all. Especially when it comes to disorders most professionals don't even think they'll encounter, like SzPD or DID.

It'd be nice if we lived in a world where you could go see a psych, say "hey I think I have this", and they'd do a proper and fair evaluation for you the way a physical doctor would (moreso should but that's another can of worms).

It just isn't as simple as "ask a professional".

[glitchdollmemoria]

thinking rn about how much shit people with personality disorders get and how protective i feel of my fellow pd havers. you are all so special to me and i am so proud of you and i believe in you and i want you to succeed, okay? okay.

[bpdohwhatajoy]

They should invent a way to have desire that isn’t absolutely humiliating