#avpd problems

[astrangerthatlovesyou]

Having AvPD is like: I’m so open, everyone knows everything about me. That’s terrifying, everyone must hate how much I share. God I feel so exposed I feel sick. And the last time you opened up to someone was October of 2021 when you told your mom you were a little stressed.

[localintrovert18]

avoidants: do not perceive me. i am non-existent. i am mysterious as the dark side of the moon. no one knows me. i must be the perfect shadow and completely inaccessible to the world. it's for my own good.

also avoidants: ... why does no one wants me? it really must be something truly wrong with me, i must be the definition of hideous, inside and out. even better, i must be a monster using a human's skin, but incapable of fooling others to my disguise.

[april-likes-lilacs]

constantly feeling like i did something wrong

even if i literally did nothing

[avoidantcreachure]

saw a reply on a post by an avpd blog that said something like “those people aren’t real good friends!! you should find people who-“ and i was like i’m gonna cut you off right there, not being able to do that is like my central character aspect… that’s the name of the disorder

[aprilticia]

that avpd feeling when you wish you were the only person alive so that way nobody would ever percieve you in a negative way ever again

[miserynevermore]

As someone who struggles with mental illness and healing from my past traumas, as well as being completely broke. I've found that the best method for healing myself when I can't afford therapy, is to allow myself to feel my emotions, acknowledging the situation, and realizing how it has affected me.

Avpd shame driven flashes interrupting my day? I schedule an hour to sit down and feel the shame, acknowledge that it was embarrassing, soothe my heart, coo at myself saying yes that was embarrassing but you survived, you're so good. As though I am talking to a child or a pet.

I fully feel the emotion, the uncomfortable feeling, and picture each part of the interaction. I then change the narrative in my mind. (CBT)

The interviewer looked at me in amusement when I gave a naive answer? He's not mocking me or making fun of me anymore, no. He's looking at me with smiling soft eyes, admiring my innocence. I don't know if he was actually mocking me. My brain decided that based on what I saw and assumed. So I'm just going to change how I perceive that interaction.

I slowly do this everytime I go through difficulty. If I'm busy, I schedule it for the weekend. Ex/ this weekend I'm going to feel X emotion and cry about it for X amount of time.

I see more success when I combine this with

1. verbalizing what happened to me and my emotions surrounding it, either to friends, a therapist, in prayer, or even just recording myself and talking to my computer / audience of stuffed animals

2. writing or typing out my feelings, whichever I prefer in the moment

I repeat these coping mechanisms until I'm no longer upset by the situation.

In my experience, the time it takes to feel the emotions and process them will get faster and faster. Small instances of embarrassment take me 20 minutes to process now. Bigger things like processing my best friend of 20 years abandoning me took me three days. Now I'm able to talk about it like a funny story. It's been 3 weeks.

What are your techniques for processing your emotions?

[ophelian-darling]

[0412lvr]

does anyone else with social anxiety (or avpd) feels as though they're not intelligence enough or that their vocabulary isn't good enough to voice their opinions, likes and dislikes? online as well, it feels as though strangers online would just know that you're inadequate to even express yourself and will ultimately think of you as a loser :/

[rottenrabbit010101010]

Sometimes I’m fine until I remember those moments where I’m actually breaking out my shell and making an effort to talk to people and then I say something and no one responds, then I say it again and still no one says anything and then I say it AGAIN and still no one gives a fuck and I realize how unlikeable I am

[astrangerthatlovesyou]

Remember that not everyone with AvPD is conventionally quiet.

We all avoid things differently, and some people may talk a lot in some or all situations because it makes them feel less vulnerable. That doesn’t mean they don’t have AvPD or that their AvPD is less “severe.”

AvPD isn’t social anxiety plus. Because of that, the type of interaction often plays a major role in our fear. For some, the only situations that bring them fear are ones that involve personal connection. For most, all situations are terrifying, but we’ve had to learn to hide it or overcompensate in most. If we can’t hide it, it means we are completely unable to cope.

The impact a disorder has on a person can’t be determined by its visibility.

[localintrovert18]

avpd: i really like this person and i would like to formulate a friendship with them.

avpd: *sees opportunity to raise the bond with said person*

avpd: you know what? it's better to keep it professional... probably they think i'm a nuisance.

[sailor-namakemono]

I have a little question for the community. How do you feel when you're hanging out with your safe person and then, without necessarly you knowing, they bring to the hang out their other friends? Because personally, I always feel like they are betraying my trust whenever that happens...even for those times when they warn me beforehand, because I believe they should know I wouldn't back out at that point (They are aware of my PD.) How do you handle the resentment that inevitably comes after? I tend to put the blame on me because I know this "problem" is nitpicky and not that common probably, and I can't expcet people to bend to my desires anyway, but still...I guess I would like to have my feelings validated even if they are weird...

[queerpossums]

i love thinking that i’ve gotten better and don’t have a disordered personality but then the second i stop dissociating all hell breaks loose. i love ending two years of sobriety and having copious amounts of gay sex to cope with any unwanted emotions (literally all emotions)

[thevoidshere88]

Officially in the terminated group hi 😂👋

[miserynevermore]

Does my friend hate me or is it AVPD?

~ a memoir by me