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amberjazmyn · 2 months

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my love, my life 💔🥹🫶

pairing : carlos sainz x fem!reader

summary : with the lyrics of mamma mia's version of abba's song, "my love, my life", we see carlos sainz jr and his wife cecelia sainz have their first child, a little girl called esmeralda rose, who was born on the same day as and named after her maternal grandmother rosanna perez.

warnings : mentions of deaths of parents from cancer, the birth of a child and baptism of said child, non-religious mom and semi-religious dad, crying, abba music if that's a warning, medical inaccuracies when it comes to pregnancy, inaccurate mentions of coronavirus

a/n : writing this for carlos because i wanted to write something again for carlos and this is what i finally decided on. as always, the lyrics will be in bold italics, any flashbacks or flashforwards will be in italics and year-stamped so it's not so confusing and present time of the literal baptism will be in regular font. also, yes, i have made cecelia, the wife of carlos, have the maiden name of perez but she is not related to checo perez who is on the same f1 grid as carlos. and the other drivers will be included as well.

i've never felt this strong, i'm invincible, how could this go wrong?

december 28 | twenty twenty

cecelia almost screamed but couldn't since she was back at her family home in madrid, the rest of her family and her nieces and nephews in the loungeroom where her husband, was. this couldn't have been the reason why cecelia had been so ill recently, absolutely not was she pregnant and had been for a whole entire trimester already? there was absolutely no way that the positive pregnancy test in front of her and the messages from her obstetrician over the random madrid hospital phone app that she had were telling her that she had spent the last twelve/fourteen weeks pregnant with her and her husband carlos' first child and had absolutely no idea whilst also going through the last year of her mother's life due to cancer - rosanna perez succumbing to the horrific disease a couple of weeks ago, not even, on the fifteenth of this month.

but, it was absolutely true that cecelia was pregnant with her first baby. and it was the fact that if only she found out even two weeks ago, she may have just made it in time to tell her mum about her newest grandchild. and that was what took cecelia's strength and invincibility that she had built up since the death of rosanna from one hundred to zero with the click of a finger. cecellia was panicking, she was bent over crying, her head resting on the bathroom sink as her iphone filmed the entire thing. she had taken the pregnancy test at first as a joke after ana, carlos' sister and cecelia's sister-in-law, suggested it since ana had recognised the way cecelia was sick being the same way she was sick when she was pregnant with her and husband's first child. not once at all did cecelia think she was pregnant, sure, she thought she was ill but she genuinely just thought that was due to the grief and stress she had put herself through after the death of her mum rosanna and the broken heart syndrome that her father, riccardo, had just recently received.

no, here, here's where we belong, i see a road ahead i never thought i would dare to tread.

after cecelia finished her freak-out, she realised that maybe, whilst it was a road she never thought she'd tread, it was a road she belonged driving on. even with her husband being a formula one driver and constantly travelling around the world. wiping away her tears, cecelia picked up the pregnancy test with her shaky hands and she smiled, turning the positive pregnancy test to the iphone camera as she started laughing.

whispering, she spoke up, "...carlos is going to freak the fuck out! oh my gosh, he's going to be so happy this said positive! ay dios mío oh my god!" cecelia giggled as she then looked down to her tummy which didn't even indicate a 12/14 week baby bump

cecelia then realised because she was going into her second trimester, she was able to tell the rest of her family since there was now no longer any worry about her losing the baby. and then, she started crying all over again when she remembered carlos. carlos had always wanted to have a little family of his own. having a little mini carlos or little mini cecelia running around. and now, his dream was finally coming true. but, without his wife's mum with them.

turning back to her iphone, cecelia spoke up again, "i need to tell everyone! but what do i do? i can't just tell them..." the spaniard trailed off as she tried to think of what she could do to announce the pregnancy to the rest of her family and husband as she quickly pressed stop on her camera recording

that was when a knock sounded on her door and she almost screamed, however, the voice that followed was not who she thought it was, "...lo siento i'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you cece, it's just ana here, are you okay? you've been in the bathroom for a while now, what did the test say?" breathing out in relief, cecelia unlocked the door so her sister-in-law could let herself in

letting herself in, ana closed the door and felt her heart sink when she saw her sister-in-law's teary face however, she wasn't ready for the scream that was to follow, "...i'm pregnant ana!" cecelia squealed out as loudly but also as quietly as possible as ana's face lit up in excitement

"seriously? cecelia, i didn't even mean to--"

"--no, don't apologise, ana! it's a good thing that you recognised my symptoms as being the same ones you had when you were pregnant! because i totally wouldn't have, not until i was giving birth anyway it seems like it..." cecelia trailed off as ana looked confused

"...what do you mean? you can't be that far along, could you?" ana questioned as cecelia nodded her head as ana's eyes widened

"ana, i've been pregnant for an entire trimester...if only i found out earlier, i may have been able to tell mum..." cecelia trailed off as ana's face deflated as she moved closer to the younger brunette

"...oh bebe oh, baby...cecelia i am so sorry!" ana's voice trembled as she pulled her sister-in-law in for a hug

like an image passing by, my love, my life, in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life.

january | twenty twenty-one

cecelia and carlos couldn't hide their excitement as they watched their ob-gyn do an ultrasound of their baby. thankful that carlos was even able to make it to the ultrasound considering f1 could sometimes be rather unkind. after giggling over the coldness of the gel that the nurse had placed on her stomach, cecelia was entranced by the image on the ultrasound screen. she couldn't believe that inside of her tummy was a growing human being. whilst it wasn't their first ultrasound of their baby, it was still something that blew the husband and wife's minds every single time they came in for a new scan.

"...mr and mrs sainz, because of how many weeks the baby is, we are able to tell you guys the sex, is that something you want to know now or would you like to wait until the birth to find out?" the female ob-gyn questioned as cecelia and carlos smiled, their excitement doubling

"may we know now?" cecelia asked nervously, carlos nodding his head in agreement with his wife as the nurse smiled and nodded her own head in confirmation

"of course, you guys can! well, if you just look here, i can tell you that you are having a baby girl!" the ob-gyn was stoked to tell the new parents they were having a little girl, cecelia and carlos were silenced by shock

thankfully though, they weren't silenced for too long as tears quickly slipped from the corner of cecelia's eye that was closest to carlos as he wiped them away for her, "we're having a little girl, cece! that's amazing, thank you, doctor!" carlos spoke up with excitement as the doctor smiled and nodded her head as she moved the probe across cecelia's tummy a few more times

"my pleasure carlos and cecelia, and i can already tell how loved this little munchkin is," she responded as she wiped off the residual gel that had stayed on cecelia's tummy, allowing the soon-to-be mum to clean herself up properly

whilst the ob-gyn cleared her own station and led the sainz's back to the reception desk with the little envelope with the pink piece of paper inside of it stating that their baby was a little girl, she couldn't help but feel her heart breaking for the way cecelia reacted. it wasn't a secret that the sainz and perez family had just gone through a tragedy. it had been reported on by almost every single spanish and european media site, f1 related or not, that cecelia lost her mother, rosanna perez, carlos sainz jr losing his mother in law. and it was obvious that finding out that cecelia was now pregnant, not that long after the loss of her mum and now finding out it's a little girl would have been so conflicting and an added bag of emotions for the young girl to be carrying with her. the nurse just hoped that this child, this little girl would be the healing angel that cecelia and the rest of her family needed to heal and to see the light at the end of the grieving.

and, turns out that the ob-gyn was correct, that little girl would be the healing angel that the entire sainz-perez family needed.

i can see it all so clearly, all i love so dearly, images passing by, like reflections of your mind, my love, my life are the words i try to find, my love, my life.

february | twenty twenty-one

cecelia smiled and waited patiently in the press room of an f1 interview alongside her husband's f1 grid with david coulthard. she was going to announce publically, to the world, that she was pregnant after it had been rumoured. she was with the f1 grid because the rumours had gotten so bad that the magazines and journalists had started asking the other drivers about the rumours since the sainz's hadn't actually told any of them apart from fred vasseur, the team principal of ferrari and charles leclerc, carlos' teammate. and because charles had actually found out accidentally whilst cecelia was filming an ad for a clothing brand on her instagram. since cecelia's last ultrasound scan when she and carlos found out she'd be having a little girl, she had blown up like a little balloon and was starting to show so, it had gotten somewhat harder to hide the bump however, she managed with an oversized white button-down with a flowy skirt. the button-down being tied at the base of her belly button which somehow hid the fact she was ballooning with her little pregnancy bump after not showing for over fourteen weeks.

"...today's press conference we have my personal favourite guests in the world and they are the f1 grid and cecelia sainz, wife of carlos sainz jr. i interview them and i also find out what i'm being told is the best news in the entire world right after this break so don't change this channel..." david coulthard, the f1 interviewer announces as the camerman then signs that it's a commerical break to which david moves closer off his seat to speak with the f1 grid and cecelia

as he spoke with his favourite guests, david had a slight idea of what the younger girl's announcement could be but, again, he didn't want to pry nor did he wanna ruin the surprise for himself. so, he didn't even think about what the surprise announcement could even be. so, he continued his conversation like he always did, happy to catch up and also quickly sending his condolences to cecelia and carlos for the loss of mrs sainz's mother rosanna, moments before they were back on air. cecelia and carlos thanked david sweetly as they both smiled and readied themselves for the interview.

back on the air, david smiled and introduced the segment before he handed it over to the grid and cecelia, "...so, as i said before the break, i have the amazing drivers of the 2021 grid and the even more amazing, gorgeous young lady, cecelia sainz who is carlos' wife! so, guys, how have you all been? even though we did catch up a little during the commerical break, give us the gossip, what's been happening over lockdown?" david questioned, getting excited as he noticed the way cecelia seemed to be wanting to just already tell him and the rest of the grid and the world the big surprise news she was even in this interview for

"well, personally for the f1 grid, we've just been getting ready for our upcoming season after we had so many races taken out due to the pandemic. so, we're very very keen for it but, honestly, that's the only thing that's been different to what everyone else has been doing considering we've just been through lockdown just like everyone else has..." lando chuckled as david nodded his head and then smiled over to cecelia so she could answer for herself

"...umm, personally for me, i've been writing some music in my little home studio and doing some self-tapes for some tv and movie auditions but, carlos, we also recently returned from our honeymoon since it was postponed. because, for those who weren't aware, carlos and i got married just at the very beginning of twenty-twenty so, right before covid kind of destroyed everything *giggles* and it was only in the last couple of weeks where we were able to safely have a little honeymoon a year later so we went to greece for a couple of weeks which was exciting..." cecelia trailed off with a giggle as she had to stop herself from suddenly caressing her baby bump - a comfort thing she had since picked up ever since the belly had popped out of seemingly nowhere and instead placed her hands on the couch beside her

david smiled sweetly with a head-nod, "...that's gorgeous, i mean, we have got some photos here and where you and carlos were staying just looks absolutely lush! but, obviously, you made sure you were completely covid safe and took all of the precautions *cecelia nods her head* that's great. i'm glad you guys had so much fun considering it was still tainted due to the continuing worries of the pandemic..." david trailed off as cecelia nodded her head and smiled as she looked to carlos with a cheeky smile as he couldn't hide his giggle

this, obviously, caught the attention of david and the grid so, he questioned it, "...what was that about, mr and mrs sainz? care to share with the class? i feel like a teacher saying that but, care to share what's made you two giggle?" david laughs himself as the husband and wife calm themselves down as carlos speaks up

"i think cecelia is just ready to reveal the surprise announcement. you see, my wife can get quite impatient and can sometimes be close to ruining surprises if you make her wait for too long!" carlos giggles as cecelia shyly nods her head as david's face relaxes and he smiles, nodding his head as the other racers are still considerably confused

"okay then cecelia, come out with it. what is this big surprise announcement that you are so eager to tell us..." david was being cheeky as cecelia bit her lip as carlos gripped her hand tightly and she just came out with it

and, truthfully, this was not the surprise annouoncement that david or the drivers thought it was going to be, "...i'm pregnant with me and carlos' first baby..." cecelia trailed off, finally allowing her hands to cradle the growing baby bump, carlos' hand moving back to his lap as he bit his lip to stop his smile from getting any bigger and stupid

it was silent which freaked cecelia and carlos out but, it didn't last for too long when david cheered and stood up. ignoring the fact that he really shouldn't have pulled the newly pregnant woman in for a hug in regular non-covid times. but, especially now due to corona but, he'd known this girl since she was a kid when her parents first introduced her to formula one when he was still a driver. giggling, cecelia hugged the british former driver back before she moved out of the hug so she could sit back down as the other drivers were in shock at the surprise announcement. they genuinely had no idea that their teammates wife was pregnant. they knew she had been unwell ever since the loss of her mum, rosanna, but never did they think it was because mrs sainz was pregnant. but now, it made so much sense to them, especially when they remembered the way they heard carlos' sister ana immediately rushed up the stairs at the slight sound commotion heard by her from the upstairs bathroom to the right on that day that the drivers came to realise as the day that cecelia found out she was pregnant.

max was the first one out of the three to stand up and pull his former torro rosso teammate's wife in for a hug as she giggled, "...congratulations, cece! you've been pregnant this whole time?" max whispered as cecelia giggled and nodded her head

"yeah, this whole time!" cecelia giggled as lando, charles and daniel joined seconds later in an excited group hug as carlos watched on

thankfully the hug didn't last too long and david started to just focus on this new announcement and asked all the questions, "so, cecelia, how long have you been pregnant for? because from what it looks like, it looks like you've got a little bit of a bump," david smiled as cecelia smiled sweetly and nodded her head, caressing her little bump

"i found out i was pregnant on the twenty-eighth of december so, not that long after christmas and not that long after we lost my mum. however, i had been pregnant for a whole trimester before finding out that day. so, if i had found out earlier, i may have had the chance of telling this wonderful news of another grandchild to my mum..." cecelia trailed off as her smile stayed strong and didn't falter

"...aw, love. do you know the sex of the baby or, is that something you and carlos want to keep a secret until the birth?" david asks cautiously as cecelia nods her head, the other drivers, except for carlos, now in shock as they weren't told the sex of the baby

"yes, we do but, the surprise will be for these guys, they'll need to wait until the birth but, david, if you really can't wait that long, i can whisper it to you? so it's just between me, carlos and you?" cecelia giggled at the end as david's eyes lit up as he nodded his head, not caring this was live television

david stood up as cecelia followed, grabbing the english interviewer's hands and whispering it to him. david, if he wasn't on live television, could have burst out into tears but he managed to hold them off, "...congratulations, cecelia and carlos! oh, this baby is already so loved!" david whispered back after cecelia revealed that she and carlos were having a little girl

"thank you, d.c, this baby is so loved," she whispered back as they sat back down

the interview continued even though the excitement of cecelia and carlos' pregnancy took over and was still a big topic of discussion on everyone's lips, they continued to mention other things that were also supposed to be talked about. like the details of the next season of f1 that lando mentioned and the songwriting and auditions that cecelia had mentioned she'd been doing as well.

but i know i don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you, you'll be my love and my life. you're my one and only.

present time | twenty twenty-two

cecelia was running around everywhere like a headless chicken as carlos and their little baby girl stood watching. carlos was trying to sort everything out but wasn't able to due to the way she was so manic about it and, carlos called her out over it.

"...cariño, cariño, CECELIA...querida, you won't be able to sort everything out before little one's baptism if you continue to be so manic over it!" carlos chuckled at the end as cecelia finally stopped herself and nodded her head in agreement dear, dear. darling

"sorry bebe, it's just..."

"...yeah, i get it, it's hard that she's not here but, just remember who still is here. i'm here bebe, you're here, nuestro pequeño está aquí our little one is here. if you keep on freaking out, you won't be able to get anything done..." carlos trailed off before continuing

"...i know your mum wasn't so sure about our future children getting baptised into the catholic church, but the spanish catholic church more specifically. but, it's truly only because of the fact that her papa is spanish and, if my own mama wasn't so insistent, i would have also said no to this happening. but, because i'd get my arse kicked, i compromised...we compromised and said our children would only get baptised and if they so chose to be religious as they got older, they could choose..." carlos smiled as he wrapped his arms around cecelia as she smiled and nodded her head

her husband was correct. the only reason why their one-year-old was getting baptised into the spanish catholic church at a year old was because of the little girl's spanish lineage due to her father being fully born and raised in spain. because originally, not only cecelia but carlos himself was unsure about their children being baptised when it wasn't really a thing that exisited in his wife's family. although cecelia was also spanish, born and raised, her family were not religious.

"...so, cece, what is it you need to get done before we leave?" carlos was calm and he was collected and that was truly one of the reasons why cecelia fell in love with him because he always balanced out her impulsiveness and her anxiety-induced living whilst being an f1 driver for ferrari all at the same time

and, when it came to responding to her husband's question, cecelia had no idea how to respond, "umm, i actually don't know..." and that was because everything that needed to be done had already been done so this very situation wouldn't happen even though it was going to happen anyway because it always did

"...thought so, and it's because everything has already been done! we should be in the car driving to the church right now for bug's christening but, because i already suspected that this was going to happen, i rang up the priest in advance just in case. so, your welcome bebe, now can we make out way out of this house and to the church, please?" carlos tilted his head to the side with a cheeky smile as cecelia opened and then closed her mouth and smiled, shaking her head

"thanks, carlitos. i'd really be losing the plot if i didn't have you with me," cecelia whispered as she moved closer to her husband and daughter, her lips almost caressing her husband's face as he pulled away with a chuckle

"not here babe, we need to go watch our daughter's christening and your welcome and i too would lose the plot if i didn't have you with me, cariño dear," carlos spoke as the husband and wife left it at that with their conversation and made it out of their house to their car

on their drive to the church for their daughter's christening into the spanish catholic chruch, which would be photographed by vogue espana, cecelia felt a calm rush over her. her husband was right, she should really stop making her focus be on those who she no longer has with her. even though it included both her parents, rosanna and riccardo, riccardo lost his battle with broken heart syndrome ten months after rosanna, a couple of months after cecelia had given birth to her and carlos' little girl.

i held you close to me, felt your heart beat and i thought: i am free. oh yes, and as one are we in the now and beyond, nothing and no one can break this bond.

may | twenty twenty-one

cecelia hadn't felt this kind of pain in her life before but, it was a pain that she was sure she never wanted to feel again...even if it meant she never gave her daughter any more siblings. but, in all truthfulness, this pain was surely going to be forgotten about any moment when she...

...hears the cries of her little baby girl for the very first time...

"...here's your little girl, mamá and papá. isn't she just gorgeous?" hayley, cecelia's midwife smiled as she handed over the baby girl as cecelia choked down a happy sob, her arms cradling her baby girl as though it was a regular instinct - as if in a past life cecelia had been a mother before

"she's beautiful, oh my goodness, we made this baby, carlitos!" cecelia turned to her husband who smiled tearfully as he nodded his head, too tired to speak in spanish

"yeah we did bebe, we made out little miracle, cariño!" carlos sniffled, wiping away a tear with his shoulder as he slowly sat himself down on the edge of the hospital bed, his hand reaching up to touch the top of his newborn's head

"wow...we're parents, carlos. we actually have our little family! we have our little dogs, our husky girl bambi and piñón and now we have our little esmeralda rose..." cecelia trailed off, tears hitting her eyes as she realised she had just said the name of her baby girl out loud for the first time

and it made both carlos and hayley smile, "...so, is esmeralda rose this little pretty's name?" she asked, rolling her wheely chair towards the computer to write up the birth certificate as both parents, cecelia and carlos nodded their heads

"yeah, esmeralda rose is her name...rose for her middle name since that's her abuela's grandmother's name and because they were born on the same day and esmeralda as her first name since it's my middle name," cecelia explained as hayley nodded her head, knowing the significance of the little girl's name

"that's beautiful, cecelia. however, because little esmeralda is earlier than her due date in august, we do have to place her in an incubator, however, once she reaches a certain weight, she'll be able to leave. is that all okay?" hayley asks, knowing how daunting it can be from being so happy with your newborn in your arms to them then being taken away to a different room

and cecelia and carlos smiled, both understanding that they couldn't hold onto their little girl forever like many other parents who had their babies on time, "absolutely fine, hayley. thank you for telling us, we'll be glad to hear that she'll be able to gain some more weight since she is really tiny," cecelia spoke up, only now realising just how tiny their little esmeralda was as carlos too only realised

"wonderful, well, if you two want to, we can either have the abuelas and abuelos grandfathers and godparents meet little esmeralda in here or we can place her in the incubator and have them meet her in there. which would you prefer?" hayley then asks as cecelia and carlos smile, they could choose how their family meet their little bundle of joy

"we can choose?" carlos choked out in shock as hayley giggled and nodded her head with a smile, making the new parents smile

"absolutely you can! however, if you do want for them to meet esmeralda in here, it can only be for five minutes per person before i'd have to then take her and place her into an incubator a couple of floors above us. is that okay?" hayley questioned as carlos and cecelia nodded their heads straight away

"that's absolutely fine, hayley! we just want them to see her, they've waited for so long already, i feel selfish enough making them wait whilst we have this conversation," cecelia giggled as hayley nodded her head

this movement encouraged carlos to fetch his parents, esme's grandparents and the godparents. who, were obviously max, carlos' former teammate from torro rosso and cecelia's best friend as well as his girlfriend, kelly piquet.

so, that's what carlos did, like the proud husband and father he was, he wiped away his tears with a tissue. placed it in his jeans pocket, gave a kiss to his two girls and rushed down the hallway to announce the happy news.

like an image passing by, my love, my life, in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life. i can see it all so clearly, images passing by

june | twenty twenty-one

the last time cecelia sat in an interview with david coulthard, she was in the second trimester of her pregnancy with little esmeralda and now, she was just a month gone from giving birth to the little girl. since it was the twenty-ninth of june, this interview today was.

and, in the audience, slightly behind the camera was her husband carlos, their little girl esme and her godparents max and kelly and the rest of esme's f1 uncles and aunties who were watching the solo interview.

with the show on the air, david introduced his guest, "...on today's show, i have my favourite guest on the show. you know her pretty well because the last time i interviewed her, it just felt like yesterday when it february, only a few months ago, she announced her first pregnancy with her husband on live television with her husband's f1 teammates...it's only cecelia perez sainz sitting with me today on our brand new couches everybody!" david introduced as that earned a lot of applause as cecelia giggled and applauded

"haha, thank you for that wonderful introduction david, it's great to be back being interviewed by you and on this new couch, oh my goodness, so comfy!" cecelia giggled after pulling out from the hug david pulled her into as she sat back down, crossing her right leg over her left, slanting them to the side

"isn't it so comfy? i'd sleep on these couches if i could *giggles*. oh my goodness, it is so lovely to see you again and to catch up since, like already mentioned, the last time you were here, you announced that you were pregnant with you and your husband's first baby. and then just after that we spoke only briefly during my interview with carlos at the end of may since you were in the background and you were just about to pop weren't you?" david pointed and brought it back to rest on his lip as cecelia giggled and nodded her head

"yes, i was about to pop! literally hours from giving birth *giggles* so, my due date was originally in august of this year so, in two months...one month basically. but, no, the little one said absolutely not mamá, get me out of here now! *giggles* and i had to be induced and have the c-section to get her out and, she was a preemie baby but, thankfully she gained weight pretty quickly and within a couple of weeks i think, we were able to bring her back home with us," cecelia nodded as she smiled as david smiled as well

"aw, isn't the little one just gorgeous, falling asleep in papá's arms," david cooed, his eyes captured by the little sleeping girl as cecelia's eyes followed and she nodded her head with a small giggle

"i know, i still can't believe she's ours. like, i was fine with just having our little husky, bambi and little piñón for a little while before starting to try. but, apparently, we didn't even need to try," cecelia giggled as david and the audience giggled as well

"seems as though you didn't *giggles* but, back to this little bundle of joy because, you and carlos have obviously picked out a name for her, but, it's quite a special name, isn't it? would you like to tell us what the name of your beautiful little girl is?" david introduced, even though he was already told, he was still hanging to see how the rest of the audience (minus the family who of course already knew) was going to react

"of course i can, david. so, our little baby girl's name is esmeralda rose sainz perez *coos* and the reason why she is called esmeralda rose is that one, esmeralda, her first name, is my middle name and two, rose, her middle name, is the shortened version of my mother's name which is rosanna. we also came up with that name ages ago not even thinking what day esme was going to be born on either..." cecelia trailed off as david smiled

"...so, what day was little esme born on, may i ask, cecelia?" david questioned as his eyes sparkled with excitement as cecelia smiled, her concentration going to the very little girl and her husband who was teary

"she was born on the twenty-ninth of may, the same day as her abuela, rosanna," cecelia smiled, her own tears building in her eyes, managing to will them away as david's face relaxed and he smiled sweetly

"aw, that is so special and that is crazy because that was the same day we saw you for the last time briefly in my interview with carlos, cece. so, you were moments away from popping!" david smiled, a still of his zoom interview with carlos and just a little peak of six-month about to give birth pregnant cecelia

"i know, it was absolutely terrifying as well david because it was like, the second your guys' interview finished, my contractions started. and bang, carlos, myself and carlos' sister ana were off to the hospital. thankfully, esme had managed to wait until after silverstone to decide that during the three week break that she was going to arrive so we had time to leave england and return back to spain so i could give birth in madrid. and after trying to have esme naturally, my midwife, hayley, came back to us and said we had to c-section because esme wasn't in the right position since she was so small. so, the only other safe way to get her out and delivered alive was to have her c-sectioned and i'm forever grateful that we did do the c-section otherwise we wouldn't have our little love," cecelia explained as david smiled and nodded his head, the audience watching in awe

"aw, bless. and speaking of the little one, how old is she now?" david questioned as cecelia's eyes widened, how old was her daughter? what day was it? was today the twenty-ninth or the thirtieth of june?

"uhh, shoot, what day is it today?" cecelia asked in a hilarious panic as carlos reached for his phone

"it's the twenty-ninth, cariño!" shouting back to his wife, cecelia metaphorically clutched her pearls, grateful that her in-head counting was indeed correct along with the finger counting she hadn't been so secretive with as she liked

"oh, thank god! she is a month old! oh my goodness, i didn't count wrong!" cecelia could only giggle at her baby brain in the same way she laughed over everyone elses when they had kids

"wow, she's already a month? that's crazy how time flies, soon it'll be two!" david was in shock as cecelia nodded her head and she turned after hearing the crowd coo in aw only to see a photo cecelia had posted of the day she, carlos and little esme left the hospital

"i know, don't start me off, david. it makes me so emotional that she's already a month!" cecelia giggled as she turned back from the photo back to david to continue the interview

the interview continued on smoothly, except for a couple of times when esme cried out for her mamá. the second time carlos had apologetically brought up the little one so she could be held by her mamá for the rest of the interview. where in which she stayed silent the rest of the interview, content in her mamá's arms, her tiny little hands gripping tightly to her mamá's pinky finger.

like reflections of your mind, my love, my life, are the words i try to find, my love, my life. but i know i don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you.

present time | twenty twenty-two

walking into the spanish catholic church with her little bundle of joy, her little esmeralda, cecelia was happy. she was content and she was in peace. even though none of her family, including her parents, rosanna and riccardo, weren't so sure on the spanish catholic baptism of their nieta granddaughter, it was still upsetting that they weren't there to witness it. because whilst they weren't really wanting it, like cecelia and carlos weren't, they wouldn't have disrespected the event because they knew that it was a compromise made by the parents and grandparents of esme that she would be baptised and if she got older and wanted to go further in the religion or not, she had that choice to. but, honestly, cecelia had truly made peace with that ages ago, way before the situation in the house had happened before they left. it was truthfully just a moment of vulnerability for the new mother and she had no other way of describing it other than her missing her parents, her mother especially.

in her flowing champagne-coloured wrap dress, cecelia held her daughter as esme's christening dress overwhelmed her because of how big it was. cecelia held her as she walked through the hall of the church and towards the priest, her husband carlos and esme's godparents, max and kelly with kelly's little girl, penelope, close by.

cecelia smiled in a joy that could have only been described as overwhelming. she knew every single person in this church: first, her remaining family which were her brothers and sisters with their partners and children; the (other) perez family, sergio "checo" and carola and their beautiful kids; pierre gasly and his girlfriend francisca; charles leclerc and his girlfriend alexandra and the rest of his family. and that was just the "main" f1 grid, there was also sebastian vettel and his family, david coulthard and his family were invited. there was no use in introducing every single guest and their families and plus ones that sat in this church in madrid, spain for esmeralda rose perez sainz's christening. however, it just really reiterated to cecelia how loved this little one-year-old baby girl was to so many people that weren't her direct family.

cecelia basked in the flashing lights from the photographers but made sure to still shield little esme's face just in case the lights still frightened her like they used to. especially when she'd visit her papá during race week and she'd get scared by all the noise and cameras. however, in a cheeky, sly move, the little one-year-old smacked her mamá's hand away and seemed to stare right down the barrel of one particular photographer's camera. of course, this shocked both mamá and papá but also made them snicker at the same time as cecelia then looked up and blood rushed to her ears in an instant.

cecelia couldn't help the blank, emotionless stare she shared towards the female photographer that little esme had also seemed to be entranced by. it was just that...the young photographer looked scarily similar to her mother, rosanna perez. that was until the young girl had completely morphed into cecelia's mother and the young mother was glad she didn't completely drop little esme herself.

it obviously scared the crap out of cecelia that she was the only one that was seeing her own mother in this female photographer but, she continued to zone out until a little side tap from her husband, carlos. it was only then that cecelia fazed out from the void she was in and noticed that the young female photographer no longer looked like her beloved mother and continued to photograph the christening. little esme taking a liking to the girl.

"...oye, cece, cariño, de qué se trató todo eso? estás bien?" carlos later questioned in spanish as he held esme after they finished the walk back up to the church foyer now that the one year old had been christened oi, cece, baby, what was that all about? you okay?

"sí... sí, estoy bien nena. solo, esa fotógrafa, la que tenía cabello castaño, se parecía aterradoramente a mamá, eso es todo... parecía como si esme también pensara lo mismo..." cecelia shook her head and rubbed her eyes, feeling like she was going insane as carlos smiled, gently kissing his wife's golden hair yeah...yeah, i'm fine babe. just, that female photographer, the one with brown hair looked scarily similar to mum, that's all...it seemed as though esme thought so too

"...i thought i was the only one who noticed that. she did look so much like your mum, i secretly hoped she'd do the dramatic movie reveal thingy, coming out with the dramatic news that she was your long-lost sixth sibling," carlos chortled in english as cecelia cackled, her head shaking

"oh shut up, carlitos...she is not my long-lost sixth sibling, you goose. besides, the more i looked at her afterwards, i saw the differences that truly sold it to me that she wasn't anyone in the family that we should have been told about," cecelia giggled as she grabbed esme from him as carlos nodded his head

"okay, that's good to know bebe, i'll be back in a moment, i promised ana and blanca that i'd touch base with them after the christening, see you soon darling, i miss my two girls already!" carlos shouted after he had left his two girls with kisses to their heads as that allowed the verstappen-piquets to swoop in to have a conversation with the mother and newly christened daughter

"...hey, max, victoria and kelly! penelope, lio and luka! did you behave?" cecelia lit up in excitement, hugging all six of them as the little girl nodded her head to her aunty cecelia, victoria's little boys, lio and luka giving a shy head nod

"she behaved exceptionally well, cece, she was quiet the whole entire time and luka and lio were also very well behaved. and, also, just a quick note, did you notice the female photographer right at the front that looked ridiculously like your mum?" kelly whispered at the end, just in case she felt like she was insane as cecelia giggled and nodded her head

"good to hear she behaved and, yes, i did and so did esme. did you see the way she smacked my hand away when that lady's camera started flashing?" cecelia giggled as kelly, victoria and max both nodded their heads

"it was absolutely bizarre, i thought i was going crazy when i turned around to see her," max spoke up this time as cecelia nodded her head in agreement

"i thought so too! i then had that weird moment where after looking at her for too long, she actually turned into mum which was even weirder. but, i then saw the things that was the reminder that she wasn't my mum," cecelia giggled as she bopped esme up on her hip higher since she started to slip

the verstappen-piquet's stayed to chat with cecelia and esme until papá had come back from his conversation with his family and happily picked up esme when she reached out for him. allowing cecelia to build up her arm strength again after feeling like they were going to fall off.

you are still my love and my life, yes i know i don't possess you. with all my heart, god bless you, you are still my love and my life

present time | twenty twenty-two

cecelia softly started to sing the song that was playing during the mamma mia: here we go again movie when she finally looked up from playing with esme and realised the song she had been singing the entire time...

...she had been singing along to my love, my life without even consciously realising it whilst the entire christening scene of sophie and sky's baby was going on during the duration of the song. and it reminded cecelia of esme's christening that had just happened the day before. it was sort of ironic because the scene that was playing in front of her was the exact same scene that played in cecelia's head when she saw that female photographer that looked ever so similar but yet still so different to her mother.

she then grabbed her phone and quickly put together a little instagram post dedicated to her little girl, her love and her life: esmeralda rose.

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, schecoperez, francisca.cgomes, kellypiquet and 9k others

ceceliaperezsainz you're my one and only esmeralda rose 🤍

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carlossainz55 my two beautiful girls 🤍

ceceliaperezsainz carlossainz55 my beautiful man 🤍

maxverstappen1 absolutely gorgeous 🤍

ceceliaperezsainz maxverstappen1 thank you maxie🤍

schecoperez pretty baby girl 🤍

ceceliaperezsainz schecoperez isn't she just checo🤍

francisca.cgomes esmeralda is gorgeous, cece 🤍

ceceliaperezsainz francisca.cgomes i mean, her parents are also gorgeous so it makes sense

kellypiquet beautiful baby and baby mama 🤍

ceceliaperezsainz kellypiquet truth has been told 🤍

davidcoulthard esmeralda is beautiful, cecelia🤍

ceceliaperezsainz davidcoulthard thank you, david! she is truly everything i could have dreamt of for our first baby 🤍

fin

and this is finished! woo, what a fun time writing this but it was difficult! i am also kind of proud of the kind of mamma mia/cecelia moment i added in there but, i think it could have for sure been written better, right now, i like it. also, just to reiterate, cecelia is not a real person, she is a character which means her parents are not real, they are made up and were killed off for the plot. and also, i totally made up the fact that david coulthard has his own tv show but whatever!

#formula one #carlos sainz jr x fem!reader #angst #fluff #comfort #parental death #no description of death but it is mentioned #mention of illness #if any of these topics trigger you please do not read because it is not my fault if these triggers and warnings are ignored

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incorrect-kill-la-kill · 2 years

Conversation

Satsuki: Why the mafia isn't a fucking aesthetic. A thread.

Ryuko: i cooka da pizza

Satsuki: Go fuck yourself, for real. I can't with these people anymore. I hate you all from the bottom of my heart. Ignorant pieces of shit.

Ryuko: i cooka da meatball aye pass the linguini its a me mario

Satsuki: *A number of images, news headlines, and statistics laying out the harm that the Italian mafia has done to the United States and dangers they still pose*

Ryuko: mamma mia

#ryuko matoi #satsuki kiryuin #klk #kill la kill #incorrect quotes #incorrect kill la kill quotes #anime #source: my favorite twitter exchange

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filthforfriends · 2 years

Text

We have to talk about these MÅ covers

On February 17th 2018, Måneskin performed at the Afterlife Live Club in Ponte San Giovanni. They played a medley of "Prisoner" by James Arthur and "Watch Me" by Jaden Smith. Måneskin performed the first minute and 42 seconds of "Watch Me." That section of the song includes the n-word twice and Damiano said it both times.

“Watch Me” starts at 2:26. The n-word is said at 2:43 and 3:44.

youtube

Below are the lyrics from the section Måneskin performed. Since Damiano defers from them, I’ve put all the lyrics he recites as they were written in bold.

Watch me (x3) do this / Watch me (x3) do this

Can't find me up up and away / I give a fuck bout your wave / My n@#$% I surf everyday / Drownin' my soul in the basement, aye / I ain't got much in the bank / I got a lot I could say / Tied up with goddesses, hey / I hope you forgive my mistakes

Yeah, ride around with a renegade / You should take a seat, save your energy / I try to heal the gods with a band-aid / And in time of need, you call your enemies

I landed in Ibiza and I need a visa / I ain't playin' with you this no Mamma Mia / Need a Hottie Tottie with a body, yeah / I just spit the knowledge then I'm out of here

That's what they yell when we come around / (Yeah!) This is your town? Well we run it now / (Yeah!) How big is your army, a hunnit thou? / (Yeah!) If you want the rain then we comin' down

I stumbled it cool / I'm awesome, kick flip in the Carsons / We should run for the pool / I got the fire flow, the department exhausted / I owe nothing to you / I'm in the Tahoe, man you making me nauseous / Pullin up with the crew / You such a hypebeast, man you making me vomit

Look / Watch me (x3) do this / It's always been more than the music / You riding waves in the back of my cruise ship

Look, watch me / Watch me (x2) do this / Since 2012 I've been the coolest / If you do not get it, my n@#$% you foolish

That's what they yell when we come around / (Yeah!) This is your town? Well we run it now / (Yeah!) How big is your army, a hunnit thou? / (Yeah!) If you want the rain then we comin' down

The Context:

This video was filmed during the first concert of Måneskin’s first tour. Creatively named Tour 2018, it ran from February to June. It's also been referred to as the "covers tour" or "X factor tour." For the sake of this post, I'm ignoring TV and radio gigs because those performances only have one or two songs. The only relevant dates are actual concerts (because the entire setlist was performed).

I found this image of the Tour 2018 setlist on Twitter. I can't locate its source, but I assume it was posted by Maneskin then deleted because of spelling errors. "Watch Me" is misspelled "Eatch Me," (hence the typo in the video title.) This spelling error is why theres conveniently no record of "Watch Me" being in a Maneskin setlist.

The setlist from the Afterlife Live Club 2/17/18 falsely credits "Catch Me" by Yellow Claw instead of "Watch Me" by Jaden Smith. As we can see in the video, Damiano clearly isn't singing the lyrics to "Catch Me." Because this was a relatively small tour, there are only setlists available for four other dates. Casa della Musica 2/24/18, The Cage Theatre 3/8/18, Vox Club 3/11/18, Santeria Toscana 31 4/20/18. Since the subsequent setlists were based on the first one, each make the same mistake of crediting "Catch Me" by Yellow Claw instead of "Watch Me" by Jaden Smith.

With so little evidence, I can't definitively say how many times Damiano used the n-word, but I can make an educated guess. I estimate Maneskin performed “Watch Me” about 22 times from February to April of 2018 on the following dates: Ponte San Giovanni 2/17/18, Naples 2/24/18, Modugno 2/25/18, Palermo 3/2/18, Catania 3/3/18, Livorno 3/8/18, Florence 3/9/18, Nonantola 3/11/18, Bologna 3/15/18 & 3/17/18, Parma 3/18/18, Milan 3/21/18 & 3/23/18 & 3/25/18 & 4/20/18, Roncade 3/24/18, Bassano Del Grappa 3/26/18, Turin 3/30/18, Genoa 3/31/18, Rome 4/6/18 & 4/7/18 & 4/22/18. Unless he got educated, that'd mean Damiano said the n-word 44 times in about two months.

Remember that Maneskin profited off this tour where the n-word was sang twice a night. They made their first album and started their career with that money.

Four Years Later:

"Watch Me" wasn't the end of Maneskin using racial slurs in their covers. Damiano sings the c-slur twice in Manskin's cover of "Black Skinhead" by Kanye West, but avoids the n-word. This means Maneskin are aware that "Watch Me" was a mistake, but can't be fucking bothered to didn't google a list of racial slurs when covering another Black artist.

The c-slur is said at 1:05 and 1:21.

youtube

Maneskin performed "Black Skinhead" from 2019 to 2021. Above is the final rendition on June 16th during a TikTok livestream from Berlin. Damiano received minor backlash for using the c-slur on that occasion and issued an apology on Twitter. Notably, Maneskin have never acknowledged using the n-word in "Watch Me." Hypothetically, that could lead a person to believe that Damiano's primary motivation for apologizing for using the c-slur was that he got called out. Considering his support for Black Lives Matter, the perception that Damiano prioritizes marketability over genuine remorse looks like some lazy ass, token allyship that only a white dude would get congratulated for hypocritical.

Maneskin performed an abridged version of "Black Skinhead," from beginning to 2:16 on the original track. Let's take a close look at which lyrics Damiano censored.

For my theme song / My leather black jeans on / My by any means on🔎Reference to Malcolm X’s speech at the OAAU’s founding, where he repeats that Afro-Americans will find equality in the following sectors: 1. Establishment 2. Self-defense 3. Education 4. Politics & Economics 5. Social “by any means necessary.”

Pardon, I'm getting my scream on / Enter the kingdom / But watch who you bring home / They see a black man with a white woman / At the top floor they gone come to kill King Kong🔎 Originating with slave traders, there is a long history of Black Americans being characterized as apes. The dehumanization is used to justify Black suffering. Notice the initials KKK, as in Klu Klux Klan, which are also present in the titles alternative spelling, "BLKKK SKKKNHEAD."

Middle America packed in / Came to see me in my Black skin 🔎In this version Damiano avoids the phrase "in my Black skin," but in past performances he sang the lyric.

Number one question they asking / Fuck every question you asking / If I don't get ran out by Catholics / Here come some conservative Baptists / Claiming I'm overreacting / Like them black kids in Chiraq bitch 🔎 “Chiraq” is a reference to the extremely high homicide rate in Chicago. According to BBC, more Americans have been killed in Chicago than in Iraq and Afghanistan combined. Most victims are young Black men.

Four in the morning, and I'm zoning / They say / I'm possessed, it's an omen / I keep it 300, like the Romans / 300 bitches, where's the Trojans? / Baby we living in the moment / I've been a menace for the longest / But I ain't finished, I'm devoted / And you know it, and you know it

So follow me up cause this shit's about to go / I'm doing 500, I'm outta control / But there's nowhere to go / And there's no way to slow / If I knew what I knew in the past / I would've been blacked out on your ass 🔎In this case, "blacked out" isn't necessarily a racialized term. It refers to a dramatic moment of anger so intense that the speaker doesn't remember their actions.

Stop all that c*%& shit 🔎This term comes from C*%& Songs, which were played at minstrel shows. Kanye is telling someone to stop acting out a caricature of blackness for the consumption of white people.

Early morning cartoon shit / This is that goon shit / Fuck up your whole afternoon shit / I'm aware I'm a wolf / Soon as the moon hit / I'm aware I'm a king / Back out the tomb bitch / Black out the room, bitch 🔎 Damiano repeats the line above to avoid singing this lyric, which actually isn't offensive. In this case, "black out" refers to making a room completely dark by closing curtains etc.

Stop all that c*%& shit / These n@#$%* ain't doin' shit (x2) / Come on homie what happened / You n@#$%* ain't breathing you gasping / These n@#$%* ain't ready for action / (Ready) Ready for action (Action)

In Conclusion:

Damiano censored each lyric with the word "black" to avoid being offensive. In addition to those three instances, the world "black" is repeated in the background 14 times. If Damiano thinks it's offensive to say the word "black" in a song that contains it 17 times, is titled "Black Skinhead," and is about the Black experience, he shouldn't be singing it at all. He censored lyrics that don't reference race because he doesn't know what the song is about. That ignorance is the same reason he didn't know that c*%& is a slur.

Yes, Maneskin should have educated themselves about a song they didn't understand with words they didn't recognize before performing it in front of thousands. Yes, they should have learned their lesson since racism is literally the consequence. Yes, this mistake is inexcusable from BLM allies. However, in reality, Maneskin shouldn't have performed "Black Skinhead" at all. The fact that this song wasn't made for white people's consumption is obvious from the inflammatory title. Lyrically, Kanye is describing his nuanced and complex lived experience as a Black American surviving the intersection of oppressive colonialist forces. "Watch Me" may not have substantive lyrics, but "Black Skinhead" and its subject matter is not to be repackaged into a catchy little rock song by four white Europeans for their mostly white fanbase. It's not our cultural experience and it's not intended to be adopted it as such. I don't know how else to explain it.

"we have artists who are geniuses...When you and I begin to support the black artists, then the black artists can play that black role...when he can sing and dance to please black men, he sings a different song and he dances a different step. When we get together, we’ve got a step all our own. We have a step that nobody can do but us, because we have a reason for doing it that nobody can understand but us."

-Malcolm X

#maneskin #måneskin #damiano david

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sexysapphicshopowner · 10 months

Text

🤎 Context/AU (Alternate Universe): Long distance love birds, Stasi and King move in together after graduating college. Cue the ‘let’s christen this place’ jokes, but Kingsley has something a bit more heartfelt in mind.

🤎 Anastasia James: 21, travel blogger

🤎 Kingsley Mancini: 22, photographer

🤎 CW/TW: fluff, lesbians being lesbians, proposal, kissing, pet names, consensual groping, suggestive comments, hickeys, domestic activities, alcohol, swearing, romantic stuff, Italian and Spanish (translations provided), nsfwish, slight angst (only in the beginning for the most part), no google translate, proofread (but not really i need to be sleep rn)

🤎 A/N: Another piece for my love @certainlynotasimp enjoy sugarplum 🫶🏽 (reminder, requests for my tag list are open as well as in general) I was lazy and didn't feel like writing a description for the garden, nor the rings so...deal with it I guess. Enjoy !!

🤎 Notes:

Kingsley was raised by Afro Italian (Mumi) and Afro Spanish (Ma’) mothers so she grew up speaking both Spanish and Italian (born in Italy) 🇮🇹🇪🇸

Anastasia was raised by Afro Dominican parents and grew up speaking Spanish (born in London) 🇩🇴

Kingsley’s contact name for Anastasia is Italian and it means ‘my brown sugar honey’ 🥺

Anastasia is contact name for Kingsley is Spanish and it means ‘my cinnamon apple baby’ 🤎

🤎 Translations: (all translations were checked with the help of deepl translate)

Ma’, pensi davvero che dovrei farlo?- Mom, do you really think I should do this?

Guardami- Look at me

Bimbi- nickname meaning little one

Mumi- nickname meaning Mom

Mi nenita, toda crecida- My little girl, all grown up

Ti amo sempre di più piccola amore- I love you more and more, baby love

No más que yo- Not more than me

Cicchi- nickname meaning chocolate

Bichita- nickname meaning little bug

Merda- shit

Scusi? Non è così che parli davanti a tua madre- I beg your pardon? (Lit. Excuse me) That’s not how you speak in front of your mother

Mi dispiace, mamma- I’m sorry, mom

Cara mia- my dear

Mamme- moms

Buona fortuna- good luck

Buona serata- have a good evening

Ora- now

Madrine- godmothers

Sei proprio un romcompiglioni, Valé- You really are a pain in the ass, Valé

Picci- nickname meaning little or small one

Puttana- bitch

¡Ay Dios mío!- oh Lord or oh God

Paella- Spanish rice dish

Ricotta gnudi- Italian dumplings

È perfetto- it's perfect

Mis favoritos- my favorites

Muevete, por favor. Déjame ir para que podamos ir a casa, mi amor- move, please. Let me go so we can go home, my love

Darmi un bacio- give me a kiss

Su con la vita, amore mio. Ti darò tutti i baci che vuoi dopo cena- Cheer up, my love. I'll give you all the kisses you want after dinner

🤎 Word count: 3.6k

18 June 2017

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Kingsley

To say I was scared shitless that day was an understatement. I had no idea how she’d respond. Even though we were moving into a house together and had been together for 3 and a half years, I don’t think my anxiety has ever been worse. But I was in love. I still am in love. And I’m going to marry the love of my life.

I played with the ring, looking to my mother in question, “Ma’, pensi davvero che dovrei farlo? I mean…what if she thinks it’s too soon?”

She regarded me for a moment before she spoke, placing her hand over mine to stop me from fidgeting with the ring, “Guardami. I can’t tell you how she’ll respond, bimbi. Have you two ever discussed the idea of marriage?”

“I mean, yeah, we have. And we agreed we wanted to get married before we made it to 5 years together, but like…at first I figured with the house it’d be cute to propose to her now that we’re finally moving into it, but what if……what if it’s too much all at once?”

“Then I’m sure you guys will figure it out. Not being ready for marriage is nothing to break up over, I tell you that.”

“Were you and Mumi ready back then?”

My mumi poked her head in from the kitchen with a smile that ma’ shared, “I wasn’t. It was a different time back then, though. It was hard enough that we hadn’t come out our families yet. The thought of coming out and announcing an engagement? I was terrified.”

Ma kissed her cheek as she sat down next to her, “She helped me reevaluate my reason for wanting to marry right then in the first place. I thought that if we were married when we came out it would legitimize our relationship a little more in their eyes. Sure, I loved her, and yes I truly wanted to marry her it just wasn’t for the right reasons right then. In the end we just agreed that we’d wait to plan the wedding until we were both ready, and in the meantime, we’d grown even closer for it.”

“Very cute, you two but that doesn’t make me feel any better.”

Mumi reached across the table to rub my arm, “Well, why do you want to marry her, Mimi?”

The thought of my girlfriend was usually enough to turn me into a blushing and flustered mess, but sitting in front of my mothers, all I could do was gush about her and this time was no different.

I beamed as I took Mumi’s hand, “Because in all my years, though few they might be, I have never found anyone who sees me the way she does. Anastasia is the muse I had been in search for when I switched my studies abroad. She’s- she’s my everything, simply put. I love her with my entire being. And I want to marry her because she’s someone I don’t think I can live the rest of my life without.”

They shared a look as they both teared up, Ma rubbing Mumi’s shoulder, “Mi nenita, toda crecida.”

My phone lit up with her contact name on it and I held up a hand as I turned my chair around to check the message:

“Looks like someone just got a text from their girlfriend. Feeling better, Mimi?”

I nodded as I looked over my lock screen, “Sure did. Her flight is taking off soon. Which means I have 2 and a half hours to get my life together. Whew, okay……I’m doing this. I’m about to propose to my girlfriend. Merda-“

“Scusi? Non è così che parli davanti a tua madre,” Ma scolded me.

I rubbed the back of my neck, sheepish and apologetic, “Mi dispiace, mamma.”

“Cara mia, go easy on her. She’s stressing out right now,” Mumi defended, tossing me a wink.

I held back my smile as I spoke, “I am sorry, though. Should I…I don’t know, decorate the house a little bit? You know, candles, flowers? Maybe some balloons?”

“Did you show her the garden when you guys bought the place?”

“No, I wanted it to be…a surprise for when we moved in,” I finished, getting excited. I hopped from my seat, sticking the ring in my pocket as I rushed to my mothers, wrapping my arms around their shoulders and kissing both their cheeks, “Mwah, I love you both so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you, mamme. I’ll tell you how it goes tomorrow, I promise.”

“Be safe, bimbi.”

“Buona fortuna, Mimi.”

“Buona serata,” I called as I headed out the front door.

I all but sped off to the house, instantly palming my forehead at the sight of the mover’s truck parked at the end of the driveway, my best friend guiding the workers.

“Kingsley Allegra Vittoria Mancini. Get your ass over here and help! Ora!”

I bit my lip as I grabbed a box of Stasi’s things from the truck, “Wow, Valé. Happy to see you too.”

“Oh don’t act like you didn’t see me before you left to go stress out my madrine. Has the flight left yet?”

“Yeah, Bubbles text me like 30 minutes ago to let me know that they were preparing for take off. Say, I need you to pick some things up for me actually.”

“No.”

I smacked as I set the box on the couch, “You don’t even know what I want nor what for yet.”

“I’ll do it for 500 bucks,” she offered.

“Sei proprio un romcompiglioni, Valé. I don’t have 500 bucks. You know that.”

“Cap.”

“Okay, maybe I do, but dammit, will you just hear me out?”

She folded her arms, quirking a brow at me as she tapped her foot, “Alright. And it better be good or I’m only dropping to 250.”

I pulled the keys from my pocket, holding them out for her to take, “Here.”

She frowned as she took them, “And just what the h-“ she cut off with a gasp as she noticed the ring, inspecting it, “Oh, babes….she’s gonna love it. You’re proposing?”

“Yeah, and I don’t have long. I need you to get some things for me to set up the garden for it. I’m gonna put it all together, but I need you to go get it while I put all these boxes up and out of the way with the movers.”

She rolled her eyes as she handed the keys back, grabbing her car keys from the ledge over the fireplace, “Send me a list. I’ll try to hurry. I know that flight isn’t long and you’ve gotta shower and pick her up as well.”

“That I do. Thanks, Valéncia.”

“Uh-oh. Mimi’s nervous. Talk to me.”

“Do you think I’m moving too fast?”

“It’s been almost 4 years, picci. You guys have bought a house together, and didn’t you both agree that one of you should propose before you guys make 5 years?”

“Well, yeah, but-“

She placed a hand on my shoulder, shutting me up, “No buts. You’ve got this, babes. Hurry with that list, stop stressing yourself or you’ll chicken out.”

I pushed her off of me, rolling my eyes playfully, "Oh, shut it you old bat. I’ll tell you and the mamme how it goes in the morning, okay?”

“Alright, hop to it, asshole.”

I helped the movers take all the boxes into one of the many empty rooms of the house, thanking them for the help before retreating to the guest bathroom to shower and freshen myself up.

My brain couldn’t help but wander as I pulled on my clothes, anxiety twisting in my stomach like a storm brewing on the horizon.

I had a horrifying cacophony of ‘what ifs’ and questions. What if she says no? What if it makes her change her mind about us moving in together? What if I stutter? What if I fall into the lake? What if something catches fire with the candles? What if she doesn’t even answer? What if I lose the ring?

What if she doesn’t like the ring? What if everything that could possibly go wrong does?

What if?

“Puttana! You better not be up there bitchin’ in your head.”

I rolled my eyes as I made my way downstairs, “You got my shit?”

“Of course! I also have some food. You need to eat.”

I shook my head as I took the bags from her hands like a madwoman, rushing toward the back door, “Can’t eat. I think I’ll be sick.”

“¡Ay Dios mío! Please eat for me, Kingsley. Madrina Morgana said you didn’t eat with them and you didn’t eat with me this morning. Just a bite at least.”

“What did you bring?”

She beamed, holding the Tupperware from Ma, “Paella from your Ma and Mumi made ricotta gnudi.”

“Give me a dumpling so I can go set this up and get to the airport for my baby. You can put the rest in the car.”

“Kingsley.”

“Yes?”

“One more thing before I go?”

“What is it,” I asked impatiently as I turned back to her.

She rolled her eyes as she handed me a velvet box, grumbling, “Here, witcha angry ass.”

“Girl what the f-“

My voice died on my tongue as she turned to head out the front door with a smirk, “Mumi owes me 20 bucks.”

I whispered as I looked on at the ring, smiling, “È perfetto.”

Anastasia

Actual heart stop that day. Speechless isn’t even the word. I forgot what words even were. Yet here I am. Engaged to the love of my life.

I laughed softly to myself as my notifications started coming in:

I poked my lip out as she picked up the call, “You know how I feel about surprises, Mimi. Tell me~”

“No, Bubbles. You just have to wait and see. Besides, you said yourself that you like surprises that include blindfolds,” she mumbled, smirk evident in her tone.

I fought back a smile of my own, squeezing my legs together as I watched the carousel of luggage for my suitcase, “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t…but I still wanna know what you’re planning. What if I had something planned and your surprise interferes with it?”

“Well, do you have something planned,” she chimed as I made my way down the escalator. She pulled me into her arms the second I was close enough in reach as I hung up, placing my phone into my pocket.

“I mean, nothing too big, but….yeah I had a lil something-something planned,” I admitted, nibbling on my thumbnail as I thought about the package I’d asked Valé to slip into the house.

“I mean we still have time before it gets dark enough outside to do what I want,” she whispered against my skin as she pressed soft kisses along my jaw and cheek.

I couldn’t help but giggle as I squirmed in her arms, “Alright, alright! You got your one kiss, now muevete, por favor. Déjame ir para que podamos ir a casa, mi amor. I think we’ve given enough of a show in this lobby.”

She relented, letting go of me after one more kiss to my lips, “Alright, alright. I guess the longer we stand here the less time we have to lay up together.”

I prodded her with my elbow as she grabbed the handles for my suitcase and carry-on while I picked up the poster board, “Hey, at least you know.”

I studied the poster she had made as she dragged my luggage alongside her, poking my bottom lip out, “You know what, I might just let you have some tonight. I mean, you made me a proper poster this time around and everything.”

She scoffed at the accusation, “What do you mean “this time around”? My posters are always proper.”

“Yeah, proper jokes. Last time you picked me up after a flight the poster was welcoming me home from rehab. And the time before that it was prison,” I exclaimed.

“I stand by those. They were hilarious,” she shrugged, opening the trunk.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s ride.”

45 minutes later…

After a car ride full of Kingsley rubbing on my thigh like she’d never have a chance to hold it again, I was playing in her hair as she lay on my chest between my legs, kissing my chin.

I smiled, tilting my head down for our lips to meet, “Mm, should I get dressed up for this little dinner you’ve got planned?”

“Just a little bit. You know I know you look good in anything, but you’re gonna wanna be at least a little dressed up for this,” she mumbled before leaning into my kiss.

Kissing her always felt like everything, everywhere, all at once. Every place where our bodies met my skin blazed with heat, all sprouting from the pit of my belly. I could feel her smile against my lips as she moved higher over me, tongue lavishing mine before she sucked on it, coaxing a moan from my throat.

Breathless, I took two handfuls of her shirt as she pulled away slightly, forehead rested against mine, “Well damn, Kingsley. Tell me something good then.”

She chuckled, pressing soft kisses against my lips in between her words, “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

“Mm, I think I’ve got a pretty good one. I mean you haven’t stopped touching nor kissing me since I got here. I don’t mind though.”

Soft brushes with her lips turned hungry as hot, open-mouthed kisses scathed their way down my jaw, her mouth latching onto a pulse point as she sucked softly. I sucked air in through my teeth, a whimper escaping me as her teeth nibbled on the area, “Fuck…”

She let go, kissing the new bruise, “You alright up there?”

I huffed, caressing her cheek with my thumb, “Yeah, I’m okay. Darmi un bacio?”

She moved as if to oblige, lips ghosting over mine before she sat back, rubbing my thighs, “Later. Go get dressed, Bubbles.”

I pouted, folding my arms across my chest, whining, “Hey! You’ve been kissing me all this time, but now that I asked for one it’s a no? Meanie.”

She kissed my cheek quite audibly before pecking my bottom lip, “Su con la vita, amore mio. Ti darò tutti i baci che vuoi dopo cena.”

“Hmph,” I frowned harder, turning my face away from her.

“Stasi-“ she called in a sing song, pulling me into her with her arms around my waist, “The quicker you get ready, the sooner we can kiss.”

I rolled my eyes, leaning into her kiss on my cheek, “Fine. You’ve gotta look cute too, then. And dibs on upstairs. You’ve gotta get ready down here.”

“Whatever~” she rolled her eyes, pushing me up, “Get to it.”

I waited for her to take her clothes downstairs before locking the door, hopping on the sink counter, “Hello?”

“Stasi! How are you, love?”

“Doing quite alright, Ma. I had a question.”

“Yes?”

I nibbled my lip as I looked under the sink for the package, “Could you put me on speaker, actually? So Mumi could hear me?”

“Of course, sweetheart. Cara mia, Anastasia’s on the phone!”

“Ah, darling! How are you?”

I chuckled, “Well, I was hoping to ask you guys for something.”

“Anything,” they answered in unison before laughing together.

“So, you guys know that Kingsley and I have been together for almost 4 years now, and obviously we’re moving in together finally, but I was wondering if maybe-“

“Yes.”

“What?”

Ma giggled as Mumi responded, “Go ahead and ask her. I’m sure you guys will be great.”

My face flushed as I put the velvet bag on the counter, “Thanks guys. It means more than you know.”

“Oh trust us, we know. Go on, you have business to attend to,” Ma chimed.

It didn’t take me long to get ready. At least, I didn’t think it did until a knock sounded on the door, “Baby? I forgot you take forever and a day to get ready. Are you almost done?”

“Not even close,” I joked, putting on my lipgloss.

She groaned, “Ugh, I got myself into this.”

I opened the door, her jaw dropping as I did, “I’m just joking, my love. You ready?” She just eyed me appreciatively, mouth still agape. I closed it, smirking, “Don’t act like you’ve never seen me dressed up before. Come on, you have a surprise for me, don’t you?”

She cleared her throat, scratching her neck sheepishly, “Yeah um…right, right. C’mon, follow me, Bubs.”

I laced my fingers with hers, following her downstairs to the living room. As we reached the couch, she grabbed a strip of silk from the back of the couch, “Alright, time for my favorite part.”

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, yeah, get it over with, will you?”

She moved with the utmost delicacy and care, sweeping my hair behind my shoulders as she pulled the fabric over my eyes, securing it at the back of my head. She spoke softly in my ear, always with a flair for the dramatic, “Do you trust me?”

“With all of my being,” I whispered, a thrill running through my spine as she placed a kiss to the area behind my ear.

Her hand returned to mine and I followed quite blindly behind her as she led me through an unfamiliar feeling area and I tightened my hold on her hand, causing her to stroke her thumb over my knuckles, “Don’t worry, we’re almost there. It won’t take long at all, I promise.”

I felt her stop in front of me, taking my other hand into hers, “Okay so, before I untie your blindfold, I just want you to know that I promise I hid this place from you on purpose.”

“Will you just take this damned thing off of me?”

She reached around my head, untying the fabric, “Ready?”

Fighting the urge to reach up and snatch the blindfold off, I nodded, “Yes.” She pulled it away, my eyes taking a moment to focus on her before shifting to the scene behind her as I gasped, “What is that?”

She snickered, “It’s a garden, duh.”

And what a beautiful garden it was.

She led me closer to it, as I smiled, “Help- the fireflies?”

She grinned sheepishly, “I had nothing to do with that, but lucky us, I guess?”

I studied her shifty demeanor, noting how nervous she seemed, “Okay, what’s up with all this? What are you doing?”

She rolled her eyes, kissing the back of my knuckles, “You’re so impatient all the time, oh my God. Okay, okay…whew……I can do this.”

“Hey, eyes on me, loser. Breathe first,” I instructed.

She scrunched her nose in distaste, “Shut it. I’m getting to it, I swear. So, I know we’ve been together for 3 years, 9 months, and 13 days-“

“And why do you know that off the top of your head,” I questioned, half-shocked and half-enamored.

“Details, unimportant,” she responded, waving a hand as she continued, “Seeing that we’ve been together for almost 4 years now and are finally moving in together, I was nervous as hell, but I ultimately decided I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. With that being said,” she began, moving to get on her knee as she reached in her pocket.

I stopped her, shaking my head with a hand on her shoulder, “Wait, come here.”

She looked at me confused as she stood, hand still poised at her pocket, “Yeah?”

I reached for my own pocket with one hand, prompting her to continue with my other, “Nothing, go ahead.”

Things clicked as she pulled out a velvet box at the same time I pulled out a velvet bag and she palmed her forehead, chuckling softly, “God, and here I was worried that you’d have said no.”

I smiled, teasing, “Awww, you were stressing over little ole me? For the record not only am I saying yes, but it’s a hell yes times a bajillion.”

She took my free hand in hers, bringing it to her lips, “Well, I know that now, but can I ask properly? I did in fact have a proper speech in mind.”

“Who am I to deny you such a sweet request?”

She returned to her knee, stroking her thumb over my knuckles as she took a deep breath, looking up at me, “As I said earlier, I was nervous as hell, I spent the majority of the morning pulling out my hair back home about any and every worry under the sun, but talking to my moms reminded me why I want to ask you in the first place. I first switched to studying abroad in search of a greater muse than what I could find here in Italy. Luck would only have it that I ended up with you as my guide around London. You’ve been my inspiration, my best friend-don’t tell Valé I said that-my lover, and I want nothing more than to live the rest of my life with you by my side. With that all being said, yes I forgot half of what I wanted to say the second I saw you, I love you and it would do me a wonderful honor if you would marry me.”

I poked my lip out, “I would love to marry you, bichita. On one condition.”

“Yes,” she questioned, eyes still looking up at me full of love and hope.

I tugged her from her knee once more as I pulled out my mother’s engagement ring, “You have to agree to marry me as well.”

She smiled, eyes watering a bit as she opened the velvet box in her hand, revealing a ring I recognized all too well, “I do. Trust me, if nothing else, I will marry you, and start a family, and take care of you.”

I poked my lip out, chuckling through my tears, “Kingsley….is that…is that the ring from when your Ma proposed to Mumi?”

She nodded, “I had went and gotten a ring made for you but Mumi sent it over here by Valé earlier. So? You’re definitely saying 'yes' right now, right?”

I nodded as she took my hand, “Yes, baby. I’ll marry you.”

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