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roguetonorth · 2 years

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Gif by: @cowboydin

pairing: din djarin x reader

warnings: angst n' yearning, descriptions of injuries, fluff and soft!din <333

summary: they say home is where the heart is— and in a stormy dusk, you learn that the mandalorian's heart belongs with yours.

word count: 4.571k

a/n: life's been weird lately and my writing consistency has become nonexistent, i have no idea what this is.

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You had made a deal.

Din would be gone to try to fix what he unintentionally had done. Things were calmer now, though more complicated. His new ship was good, but it barely fit himself. The empire wasn’t after him anymore, but now he was rightful to the throne of mandalore. He had gone through more changes since he found you and grogu than he had in his whole life. The tides were changing greatly and quickly.

You, though, had promised him peace, consistency, and security. The way you found to do just that was not of your liking and certainly not like what life had put you through for so long, but it was working for the both of you right now. And though Din reassured you that there was nothing he was more fond of than having you by his side no matter what, you both had made promises to each other. You had promised to stay put, safe and alive. Din had promised to come back to you; no matter what, no matter when, no matter how.

And Din was one to keep his promises.

Yet, there had been a while you didn’t see him.

It had been rotations, maybe moons, you weren’t sure. The planet you had settled in was beautiful, hardly populous and anywhere your sight landed in, it was subdued with dark tones of green of its forests. The cottage you had gotten yourself there was modest, the classic type of thing expected to be found in the middle of nowhere. It was a good distraction to do whatever daily tasks you could, getting temporary jobs in the nearest town once in a while, learning new things, just keep things going.

Here, sitting on the trunk that had fallen over part of your little garden, every day felt longer and longer than the previous one. At first, when you arrived, you thought it would be good to finally stay put— achieve your dream of finally staying, living somewhere. But as the days and nights in this calm and lonely place went by, you could all but realize that your only dream had always been only Din. Despite time seeming to carry on to you slowly as the waters of the lake near your cottage, no matter how far and unknown were the stars Din laid down under, you hoped time passed differently for him.

And hoped for your mandalorian’s return you did.

You knew that, as soon as he could, Din would come right back to you. He promised you he would, that it was going to be alright. And you believed him with the same faith you believed the dawn would come. But at every dusk, as you watched the clouds cloak the setting suns, all you could do was stare at the horizon —alone and in sickening silence— and hope once again, that you’d hear the whirring of his starfighter above the tall trees. Hoping you’d see Din coming back home.

The solace you had were his words, his trust, and the promise that he’d be with you again.

Soon. Eventually. One day.

And as the life you once dreamt of turned into almost some kind of prison, you tried to convince yourself that those promises were enough. That the now seeming distant promise of Din was enough. As you watched the cold breeze and darkness take over the afterglow of another sunset fade behind the heavy and dark thundering clouds, the thoughts of din were momentarily pulled out of your mind. Pouring rain compelled you to force yourself to rise up from your place and gather the freshly chopped firewoods inside. By the time everything was set for the night, the pouring rain had turned into a thunderstorm.

As you listened to the lullaby of water hitting the ground your mind drifted again to where your heart had been. With din. You wondered about how he was, not just physically. Was he getting enough sleep or was he just as restless as he’d been while he was with you? You wondered that If half a galaxy away, he was giving himself time. You were ready to drop everything at any moment just to know if he was okay instead of keep hopelessly wishing on it.

Laying on your back, you dropped your arm around your head, staring through the skylight in the ceiling. You tossed and turned in the bed you had got to share with din for much less than you’d like to before he left. To make the hole in your heart his absence caused feel shallower, you imagined once again the whirring of his ship zooming beyond the window louder than it sounded in your memory, hoping it would lull you to sleep.

But then, the noise shifted. The source of it seems now rather nearby and your eyes shot open. You frowned, fighting the smile the renewed hope it lit within you. It could be him. It could only be him. Though your mind fought the relieved happiness that started to spread through your features for the sake of avoiding disappointment, your body jumped out of your bed and ran to the front door, not caring about the cold of the rain soaked wood of the porch crepting to your bare feet.

And your hopes crept to you as it kept you standing by the door, looking out to the dark path that came from the woods. Your fingers taped nervously against your thigh — something you had unconsciously started doing some time after you realized din used to. — and you waited. You were almost sure it was him. But not completely. The rain turned severe and thunders rolled over, and you started to brace yourself for another disgruntled and dinless night.

Yet, your eyes never strayed from the little dirt path.

As a strong lighting enlightened the sky, you shuddered, like you always did when your gaze landed on him. And there he was, your mandalorian, making his way through the woods with drops of water running down his armor, reflecting brightly the hue of the stormy sky. Just as the first time you saw him, he was quite a sight. But more than that, you couldn’t remember the last time you had felt such joy.

He walked in long but slow strides, and without getting to contain yourself you ran in his direction to meet him halfway. You practically fell against him, the man having to step back a little to keep you both from falling all the way into the ground. His arms encircled your form in a tired yet just as affectionate motion, the piercing cold of beskar nothing compared to the warmth his presence burnt you with. “You're back.” You smile, your voice weak and muffled by the fabric of his cowl as you hang onto him tightly as if he could slip away from your arms at any moment. Since you met him it had been the greatest of your worries. When he was away you worried for him, and when he was near you worried about him too. But right now, you collapsed onto din, letting yourself absorb the moment you had longed for.

He was finally back, holding you dearly, letting you know he was there. And though you knew he could leave soon, you didn’t fight the dazzling calm you felt upon his return. One of your hands made its way to the edge of his helm to have him facing you at a proper angle. Tears threatened to run down your cheeks along with the drops of the continuous rain as you smiled for him instead, a smile of relief from the pain his absence made you ache with, “I missed you, you stupid mandalorian.”

He smiled wider for you, though all you could catch was a pleased sigh that escaped his modulator prior to the words he whispered back, “I missed you, too, cyare.”

Din holds you, as if rain wasn’t soaking the both of you to the bone and as if nothing in the galaxy was real but you. You, you, you. Your laugh, your voice, your way to do things, your never ending care for him. He had missed, longed for you. All of the straining nights and battle-occupied tainting days he spent away from you, second guessing himself over and over; and over were these days were he in control of it all. Did he like to admit it or not, he felt weak without you.

He rested the chin of his helmet gently upon your head, his grasp was as strong as his weary state allowed. You held him back just as heartfeltly, shifting one of your arms from around his neck to hold his waist closer. He shifted, letting out a tiny pained groan upon the action, which he quickly tried to conceal from you out of habit.

You were pulled out from your moment of boon, suddenly hyper aware of every pant he let out, “What 's wrong?” You parted from him in concern, scanning down his torso as much as you could see given to the situation. You eyed his side, where your arm had been, noticing part of his flight suit was wet and stained evidently from more than just rain. “Din, are you bleeding?”

“Maybe.” he puffed.

“Din…” You sighed, shaking your head before moving to get a better look at him, chasing his hidden eyes with yours. Drops of rain dripped down from his visor to his cowl and it made you smile again, before you remembered he was injured and you were set to find out just how badly. “We need to get you inside.” You called up, one of your arms leaving him as his hand grasped your forearm tightly, desperately trying to keep you close to him, “I'm not gonna let go of you, okay? C'mon, let's get you warm again.”

You positioned yourself beside him, ignoring the fact he had been walking on his own minutes ago, one arm under his and around his torso, taking as much of his weight as he allowed you to. You aided him through the stairway of the porch and then to your bed, supporting him again as he sat on the edge of it with slight struggle. As he let his back rest against the wall, you inspected him again, searching for any signs of injuries you hadn't got to see and knew he wouldn't mention under the lamp’s golden light.

But he looked okay though. His shoulders were slightly slumped in, from the cold possibly. Through his partially soaked flight suit, you noticed the rest of his muscles relaxing as he let his hands rest on his lap. His visor faced you, but you weren’t sure his eyes were open. As your body adjusted back to the warm temperature of the cottage, you sat in front of him, the tip of his socked toe touching your leg, his boots discarded at some point. Din carried the typical smell of blaster smoke, now wearing out by the scent of rain and grass.

Your heart ran faster as you took in the sight of him right there— the fact that he was back finally sinking in. The idea of parting from him for any longer than you already had even if it for the shortest of the seconds was absolutely awful for the both of you. Your gaze held his for a while, longer than you meant to, as you tried to gain courage to force yourself to get up.

“Your bed's gonna get dirty.” Din blurted out, his gaze straying from yours to inspect the light fabric covering the bed. You chuckled at him, being the most din he could be. Innocently worried about the state of your bed when he himself was bleeding out. Oh had you missed him.

“The bed's going to be okay.” You couldn't help smiling reassuringly at him before speaking again, the little light hearted moment he’d just provided you with was enough to give you strength to get up, knowing he would be right there when you came back. “I have to go get the medpac.”

Din offered you a nod, observing his surroundings as you disappeared into another room. He casted his gaze to some furniture, the majority of them weren’t there when he left. All of them made out of local woods and metal. A particular piece drew his attention, a wooden wardrobe set opposite to the bed, which was also new. He wondered about how you’d brought it to the cottage, how you had set it up together. Had you paid someone to do so or had you gained favors from your friends in town? Though you avoided befriending too many people, you had likely made friends. People were attracted to you, like suns attract planets and keep them around with such force. He himself had been a victim of said talent of yours. As you appeared back into the room with the medpac in hands and kneeled by his side, he confirmed to himself that he was nothing but glad.

You set the materials you’d need on the bed near you as you looked up at him, silently asking for permission to lift his shirt just enough to gain access to the wound. He nodded, moving his arm out of the way to support it lightly on your shoulder. You watched him, trying to ignore the butterflies swirling your stomach upside down upon the action while looking for any signs of discomfort as you lifted the fabric carefully off his skin, grimacing at the sight of the fiery red gash you were met with. You kept your focus on the task at hand as you started cleaning the injury as gingerly as you could, stifling your gaze from trailing up further than it should.

Of course you had been in this position before. Cleaning and patching din’s wounds whenever he came back from a rough hunt, which was much more often than you’d like to. But when you were done with said work and made sure he was completely alright, you had to admit you enjoyed it. The closeness you shared whenever you took care of him that way, the vulnerability of it all made your heart flutter for longer than what you could keep track of. But now, you could tell something was different. Din was different. Though you couldn't quite name it yet.

The both of you stayed silent while you worked on him, deep lost in the thought of each other, way too discouraged to voice it out loud. You glanced up at him as you finished cleaning the wound, which clearly had been a vibroblade slash, “It's not that deep. We've been through worse.” You offer him a pained smile as you reach for the materials you’ll need to actually patch him up.

He tilts his head in acknowledgement, dropping it to rest against the wall. You move to get the work done quickly to free him from the distress, patching him up thoroughly, skill you had gained having to tend to him constantly. His hand on your back tightening itself in a fist whenever it started to sting as he clenched his jaw under the helmet.

You continued your work, stitching the wound, occasionally stealing glances at him when his skin flinches away from your hands.

“I'm sorry.” din sighs, tilting his helmet down in your direction, his tone loud enough to catch your attention but not to cause you to look away from what you were doing.

Your brows furrow as you shake your head at his self conscious tone, giving his knee a quick reassuring squeeze, “It’s okay, I know it hurts.”

“No,” He huffs, half a sigh and half a strained cuckle. “Not for that.”

You don’t look up at him while you set the used materials beside you as his visor watches you intently, “Then what for, love?” you ask mindlessly, starting to cover your work with a bacta patch.

Din feels his heart leap to his throat upon the realization of what you just called him. You called him love. And you did it so naturally. His breath hitches as you chase his visor with a soft look of your own, encouraging him to speak. He stumbles over his thoughts, the sudden raised emotions causing him to get the words out somewhat rushed and bashfully, “I- shouldn't have taken so long. I couldn't send you transmissions,—”

His voice trails off momentarily, and you take the opportunity to shush him to calm again, “Hey, hey. It's okay,” you pause, studying his chest plate steady itself as you gain the boldness to run a hand soothingly on his uninjured side. “You're here now and that's all that matters.”

A warm fire burns brighter in his chest as he watches your focus turn back to your work as you finish covering the stitches with bacta, then securing it safe with a thin layer of gauze with gentle hands. “Now we just gotta leave this here. But try not to move much.”

Din considers your words briefly before nodding at your suggestion.

You start gathering everything you used to patch him up from the floor by your side to wrap them up in a towel to avoid a bigger mess. Din stares at you while you do so, even as you discard said stuff in the sink near the fresher’.You knew you looked, at most, awkward. His gaze burnt through you as you returned to the place you’d been before you tended to him. You stare back at Din, wishing your eyes could say as much as your heart wanted him to know.

He had been gone for so long you’d thought you had forgotten how calm he could get you. Of course you knew that the life the both of you had lived was hard to leave behind and that in such an endangered galaxy, you could hardly do so. But Din was like a haze over all that.

Seeing the way you watch him, looking for any other way he may need help in the way he always did for you, his chest aches with the urge to lay himself bare of his walls and say or do something. He opens his mouth then closes as the right words escape him, his chest stalling as your eyes find his own.

His visor avoids you as he speaks next, his voice sparking his uneasiness, "I should get changed.”

You nod at him with a fond smile that hides the slight disappointment upon the knowledge your mandalorian didn’t need you anymore. Rising from your place you offer him your hand as support to help him get up. You stand one step away from him, his leather-covered fist holding on to yours heavily for seconds longer than necessary. You don’t move your hand away from his, instead biting your lip nervously as you stare up at him,“Do you need help?”

A deep hue of red flushes across his cheeks as the image of you helping him get rid of his layers forays his judgments, “No, I uh… ‘can manage.”

You draw in a breath and din stops by you, his beskar-covered shoulder touching yours as he towers over you. For anyone else, the vision of the though visor staring down that way would have been the most intimidating sight they’d see. For you though, it looked like nothing but home. The vague feeling that the eyes staring at you behind the darkness looked lovely. Din touches his helmet to the side of your head tenderly and you feel your heart jump then hollow at the action— his way of saying ‘thank you’ without a word.

Rarely did you need words with him.

So that, though Din hadn’t said anything, you knew he didn’t have anything to change onto as you observed he hadn't brought barely anything with him besides his weaponry. But you had taken care of that, long ago. You look through your things in the drawer for a specific pair of sweats; they were of dark green that reminded you of his cape, the fabric much more comfortable than what he usually wore. You had gotten him some stuff while he was away hoping it would help you deal with his absence. You place the clothing near the fresher’ door without saying anything.

By the time he returns, all he wears was what you had given to him along with the helmet. The sleeves of the green sweater rolled up to his elbows. He takes cautious steps towards you and you scoot over to make space for him on top of your bed. You watch him as he takes your silent offer, sitting by your side, his bare hands tightening and loosening itself as he keeps looking away from you.

A furrow crosses your features as you wait patiently for his helmet to turn back at you with a slight tilt. A smile replaces your worried features and you tilt your head back at him as you decide to speak, your voice quiet as you catch his attention, “How have you been?”

Din shrugs, a hint of not so sincere humor in his tone, “Alive.” You give him a serious look to get to him to be honest, and he releases a breath. “It 's been hard… without you.”

“I could say the same thing,” You relax, warmth taking over your chest upon his sincerity as you scoot closer to him, “But I'm always here, you know.”

Din nods, a sweet grin appearing then vanishing quickly from his face beneath the beskar, “I know. It's the only thing I still believe in.”

You hold your breath, confusion striking through you while you swallow hard, your gaze locked on him with a curious yet nervous glint. “Me?”

There is a pause before he speaks, his chest rising then falling again as the small word comes out heavy as a lump. “Us.”

Your gaze softens even more at him, your own feelings starting to overcome your senses and you try to push them down, moving even closer to him to focus completely on Din. You’re so close to him now that you can see his breath fogging the lower part of his visor.

“There’s always going to be us, Din.” Your voice is filled with honesty and affection as you fight the urge to lift your hand to touch his beskar cheek.

“But I,” Din pauses, his heart racing so loudly in his chest he can barely hear his thoughts. “I want more— Of us.”

Your chest heaves, his meaningful yet dizzying words making you freeze. You'd expect him to say anything but this. The overwhelming feelings you forced yourself to push down every time you saw din bubbling up to the surface altogether as it threatened to somehow burst inside you. “How so?”

Anxiety builds inside of you as you study him as the question sits heavily in the silence. Din’s helmet tilts almost shyly as if he was scared of what he was signing up for.

It takes Din all of his faith and strength to voice the feelings he hid from you for so long that it catches in his throat. His uneasy hands shake as much as his voice. “I hate waking up and not having you with me.” He exhales, his voice dull due the modulator yet dripping emotion as he takes another slow, shaky breath, forcing the tight words out through his throat. “I hate when I can’t sleep because you’re not there. And I hate when I can’t have you, not even in my dreams.”

You about melt away at his confession.

An empathetic frown strikes through your features followed by a comforting smile and you lift your hand to stroke his unclothed neck before you could even think about stopping yourself. Your heart races as din’s steady breaths work to shush your wishful thoughts upon his words.

Din covers your hand with his then lets it fall to an eager, tight hold of your wrist, “I'm done with doing nothing right, cyar’ika.” His voice is crumbled and hushed as he lifts a hand to brush against your cheek, “Please, let me do this right.”

You shift on your weight and you move closer to him, hesitating even as you let the side of your crossed leg drop over his. You search for a glimpse of his eyes with a look as soft as your voice, “Don’t say that. You’ve done nothing wrong.” You give his fingers a gentle squeeze and he secures your hand in his, running his leather-free thumb across your wrist. “You don’t know how many times I've regretted telling you I would be fine on my own when you left. I should have told you,” You keep your words and actions slow as you urge him to stay close. “Nothing feels right without you.”

Din’s heart shudders when you embrace him. His eyes fall shut as he absorbs the warmth you provided him with —both emotionally and physically— without the barrier of his beskar. Your hand rests on the back of his neck while he holds onto you, the brown curly strands of hair that escaped from the base of his helm peeking between your fingers as he leaned into you.

Listening to the beat of his heart sync with yours, he slides his arms down your back to keep you close. “We’re alright.” You beam, his helmet draping heavily on the crook of your neck as you hold him close like you had always wanted to.

When you pull away it’s Din who starts the movement and he does so hesitantly. Even through his visor you can sense his eyes cast yours with longing and a hint of pain, as if only the thought of it was enough to make him hurt. “I don’t think I can leave again.”

"It 's okay.” You tell him, caressing his wrist and hoping your touch would soothe him away from wherever his thoughts were leading him. “Whatever it is that you want, I'll always follow you, wherever you go. Or I can wait for you, no matter how long. I'm gonna be here.”

There’s a moment after he drops his beskar forehead to touch yours, but this time Din doesn’t hesitate to speak with full honesty. “My heart’s always with you.”

You smile and close your eyes, the truth in your voice matching his. “Then I'm always going to be with you, Din. Through the furthest of the parsecs, with you.”

Din looks up, tilting his helmet up slightly as his visor brushes against your nose. “Even if we’re apart?”

You squeeze his hand, lifting it to your lips to press a gentle kiss upon his knuckles as you offer him your answer. “Even then.”

“Okay.” Din utters back, the word small and contended as for the first time ever, he doesn’t fight the urge to embrace you tightly.

You bask in each other’s arms, for a long moment and no time at all— knowing that no matter how difficult things were or could be, no matter how unknown and opaque the stars you laid beneath were, as long as you had each other, you’d always find home.