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#back i could just add some layers maybe
loverboybitch · 1 year
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hair unironically stressing me out . like . what do i do with it.//.
#imjustsittinghere#like i know pretty much exactly what id do with it but im scared#but ALSSO my hair looks perfect now but only from the front and my exact eye height#like looking in the mirror i look so pretty but ive been hating pics of me for the last while cause of how my hair always looks#mybe people are just bad at taking pics of me though like i think thats a genuine possibility#wish i could watch me for a whole day from someone elses POV so i really know how i look...#maybe theres an idea there...........#but also like the side of my hair and kinda from the back jus looks like a big blond mop idk#cant think of a really good way to fix the side at all tho#back i could just add some layers maybe#idkidkidk but its bugging me#but also cutting it kinda short like ive been thinking is ..scary... like if i dont like it it would take SO long to get it back to here#been growing for like all of covid almost...#still need the sides to grow out more for the exact kind of shorter cut id want too so like : $#wahvn efasdfadlf abbn;mwevf;evf velgr njb#makes me feel like that <#ALSO lol so scared of seeing the other half of my face all the time.. im so used to half of it being kinda covered by hair lol#literally scared of what i would look like if i wasnt lopsidded.. imagine being symetrical ...#also also last thing to add genuinly feel like people do not get my angle in pics right often lik e#the camera gotta be level with my mouth preferably eyes or higher like#lot of photographer friends send me pics or candids and i never post em cause theyre bad angles 4 me like idk#u can fr look at my insta and see how i like my face to look idk#not fr expecting people to think about it that much but like if ur gonna get a pic of me i wanna like it#anyway
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sesamenom · 7 hours
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anyone know if bookbinding glue works on canvas? im thinking i want to add a shield to my halloween costume next year and am trying to figure out how to attach the front
#not silm#not art#halloween#first attempt w cardboard hot glue and canvas worked fairly well but the back is kind of lumpy from the glue and the corners arent great#so im thinking of doing painted canvas on book board with binding glue to adhere it#so itll be nice and sturdy#not sure how i would attach the straps though#unfortunately im too busy to do much in the way of costume upgrades rn but for next year i have a few things in mind#i definitely want to do a cloak- i saw this nice quilted fabric at joanns that could work as an insulating/lining layer to give it weight#i really want to do fake fur trim for the Fancy Himring Cloak but ill have to find something im not allergic to#idk how to do cloak clasps but the actual sewing part should be reasonably simple since its mostly one piece#just have to attach the outer layer and the lining layer and hem the thing#for the helmet im trying to find larger brads that might work to add a rotating visor#idk how to get it to stay shut though. will probably have to adjust the angle so it doesnt keep getting stuck on my nose#and so i can actually wear glasses with it and not fall down every single set of stairs like last time i wore it#anyone know if there are like. sewing patterns but for 14th century helmets?#armor wise i might actually go with the slipper top for pauldrons#would probably be decently padded#gambeson means i need to learn how to sew shirts#so maybe thatll be a few years down the line#for the shield i have one custom heraldry and one feanorian heraldry. maybe ill make two shields idk#the cuirass is going to be harder - maybe alternate a few layers of cardboard and quilted fabric? would that get too thick tho#ive tested cardboard + heavy waffle blanket gambeson and that works pretty well so maybe just go with that#maybe a cheap bookboard layer for the top?#idk how well you can paint book board though. will have to run some experiments
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iraprince · 4 months
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gonna show u guys a little opalescent highlight hack i threw together today
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rainbow gradient above your main figure (i usually have all my main figure folders/layers in one big folder, so i can clip gradient maps + adjustments to it!). liquify tool to push the colors around a bit. STAY WITH ME I KNOW IT LOOKS STUPID RN I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS
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THEN: set it to add/glow (or the equivalent in ur drawing program), lower the opacity a bit, and apply a layer mask. then u can edit the mask with whatever tools you like to create rainbow highlights!!
in this case i'm mostly using the lasso fill tool to chip out little facets, but i've also done some soft airbrushing to bring in larger rainbow swirls in some areas. it's pretty subtle here, but you can see it better when i remove the gradient map that's above everything, since below i'm working in greyscale:
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more granular rambling beneath the cut!
u could also just do this with a brush that has color jitter, but what i like about using layer masks for highlight/shading layers is how simple and reversible it makes everything. i can use whatever brushes i want, and erasing/redoing things is super low stakes, which is great when i often approach this stuff with a super trial-and-error approach.
example: have u ever thrown a gradient w multiple colors over an entire piece, set it to multiply etc, and then tried to erase it away to carve out shadows/highlights? it's super frustrating, bc it looks really good, but if u erase something and then change ur mind later, u basically would have to like. recreate the gradient in the area u want to cover up again. that's how i used to do things before figuring out layer masks!! but masking basically creates a version of this with INFINITE undo bc u can erase/re-place the base layer whenever u want.
anyway, back to rambling about this specific method:
i actually have TWO of these layers on this piece (one with the liquified swirls shown above, and another that's just a normal concentric circle gradient with much broader stripes) so i can vary the highlights easily as needed.
since i've basically hidden the rainbow pattern from myself, the colors in each brushstroke i make will kind of be a surprise, which isn't always great -- but easily fixable! for example, if i carve out a highlight and it turns out the rainbow pattern in that area is way too stripey, i can just switch from editing the mask to editing the main layer and blur that spot a bit.
also, this isn't a full explanation of the overall transparency effect in these screencaps! there's other layer stuff happening below the rainbow highlights, but the short version is i have all this character's body parts in different folders, each with their own lineart and background fill, and then the fill opacity is lowered and there's multiply layers clipped to that -- blah blah it's a whole thing. maybe i'll have a whole rundown on this on patreon later. uhhh i think that's it tho! i hope u get something useful out of this extremely specific thing i did lmao
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ja3yun · 2 months
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i feel like among the hyung line, hee would enjoy it the most seeing his s/o struggling to cover up the hickeys he left (maybe even add some)
he would LOVE it, like just seeing his partner covered in his love bites, all over their neck and chest, even their thighs. if his s/o was covering them up and scolding him but he would not be listening. i wrote a little something (hope you don't mind)
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warnings: smut (mdni), fingering, hickey, biting and marking, mirror kink.
"i told you i was seeing my parents today, heeseung," you exhale with irritation, the paired partners of concealer and a beauty blender doing little to cover up the two red-purple love bites on the left side of your neck that your boyfriend so gracefully scattered you with last night.
he always does this, marking you as his own as he whispers words of affection into the wounds, licking and sucking on your sensitive skin. it's his way of making everyone knows you're off limits.
wrapping his arms around you, he nuzzles his nose into your hair as you struggle to cover the hickeys. "i'm sorry, baby, you're just so tasty," he says with a smirk, clearly not remorseful in the slightest.
you huff and lean your head back on his shoulder, enjoying the comfort of his touch while still glaring at him through the mirror. "you're insufferable," you roll your eyes but can't hide your smile. you want to scold him but you can't deny how good it felt when his teeth were nibbling at your skin last night.
"let me make it right," he mumbles into your hair mischievously. his lips kiss the back of your ear and trail down to the untouched skin on the right side of your neck. his lips are soft like butterfly wings dancing on your now shivering body.
you know exactly what he is planning to do and you should be stopping him, but with his fingers dipping up your tshirt and tracing heart shapes on your tummy, it's hard to focus on what you need and what you want. and you want him to keep going.
"you're so beautiful marked up like this, y/n." his words send a rush to your core. his teeth graze your nape and you let out a small gasp, your eyes closing as you fully surrender yourself to him again. any worry about what your parents think goes put the window, too consumed by the need to be devoured once again.
his hands slide down your stomach and dip down past your waistband, adding a new layer of pleasure to your senses.
"heeseung..."
"shh, baby," he hushes your feeble protest that could be mistaken for a plead as his middle finger slowly rubs your clit.
you drop the beauty blender on the floor and grip heeseung's arm, clawing at it in pure ecstasy. his touch is otherwordly, the gentle motions on your nub causing your heartbeat to thump in your chest and air to vanish from your lung. and just when you thought he couldn't make you feel more elevated, he bites down on your neck, the same way he did yesterday.
"fuck!" you exclaim, biting your lip to shut yourself up from alerting your wall neighbours of your mid-morning escapades. his tongue, teeth, and lips work like a perfect cocktail as they form a red mark on your neck. his eyes are gleaming with pride and lust and the more he sees the spot forming in the mirror, the faster his fingers rub your clit.
heeseung runs his digits from your bud to your hole, slipping two inside with ease, after all, he was fucking into you not even 7 hours ago. the intrusion makes your knees buckle and grip on him tighten.
"you're soaking, baby," he teases, biting down harshly, "doed this mean you accept me apology?"
"yes," you breathe out, his fingers and lips working in tandem to push you to the edge. you're so close to cumming and heeseung knows it, curling his fingers and using his thumb to give attention to your throbbing clit.
"let go, sweetheart, cum for me." his words, along with once final bite and lick on the forming hickey, is all the go ahead you need before your walls are tightening and coil snapping in your stomach.
heeseung keeps eye contact with you in the mirror as you crumble in his hands, his teeth and fingers are the only thing keeping you up right and not falling to the ground.
"good girl, you're so good for me," he praises you, kissing your new wound over and over again. he retrieves his fingers from your cunt as you find the bones in your legs again.
when your mind comes to, you see the consequences of not telling him to stop, a bright red sign of love and desire now placed on your neck. "heeseung!" you yelp, tracing your fingers over it as you step closer to the mirror to inspect the damage.
heeseung, chuckling behind you shrugs, "now you have one to match the others, call it...balance." he kisses your cheek before leaving you to cover the new hickey.
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cherryredstars · 5 months
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you know what season it is!!! back shots in a sundress with no panties!! i strongly request rich people private beach sex! boat sex! rich sugar daddy husband who is never really home but when he is he WRECKS your body!!
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Pairing(s): Miguel O'Hara, Simon Riley, John Price x fem!reader
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Penetrative Sex, Public Sex, SugarDaddy!Characters, Simon isn't gentle in this one (sorry!)
A/N: My favorite season!!!!
Unedited
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| SIMON "GHOST" RILEY: CAKE BY THE OCEAN
He can't help himself when his pretty baby is all dolled up for him.
You got that cute little sundress he bought you on, letting out little giggles every time the wind picks up and you have to hold your dress down like the better version of Marilyn Monroe. He doesn't understand why you do it though. You're the one who begged him to take leave so the two of you can spend the warm weather at the beach house, wanting to spend time on the private beach. Plus, if you really cared about decency, you wouldn't have left without panties. He thinks you're adorable, clueless to the fact that you've flashed him a handful of times already.
But maybe that's part of some secret plan you've been plotting. especially when you pout at him and demand he let you rub sunscreen all over his body.
I just don't want your scars to get irritated, Si.
He thinks your a fucking liar. How else would that explain the way you so willingly sprawl out on the beach blanket you've brought along, your bare ass exposed to him as your dress is bunched around your waist. In the sun, he can see your dripping cunt glistening with arousal. He fucking loves the pretty gasps you let out when the wind fans over your folds, a tiny plea for him to stop his teasing following after. His poor, spoiled baby, so desperate to have a different kind of fun at the beach.
He doesn't care for the beating sun burning his back as his thick cock slides through your puffy folds, more focused on the way your insides are a thousand times hotter. The only thing he needs coating his skin is your sticky arousal as it drips around his cock, a foamy ring of white forming at his base as he thrusts into you. He hates sand, but he doesn't mind the way it gets on the blanket as you pull on it, crying and hiccuping at him how it's too much.
"Si! It's too hot, I'm getting all gross and sweaty!" You sob out, teary eyes looking back at him.
He coos at your cries, giving your ass a hard smack before rubbing the pain away. You could have just told him you needed something to help you cool down. He's more than happy to help as he licks over your skin, his saliva coating your neck and shoulder blades. You taste like the sun and sweat, and he knows that after his he'll need to eat out that pretty pussy of yours to see how they add to your addictive taste.
He must have spoiled you too much, rolling his eyes as you start complaining about how sticky your skin feels with his spit drying on you. He shuts you up with a few punishing thrusts, only tolerating your incoherently wobbly moans and cries. He grits his teeth when he feels his high peaking, swiftly pulling out of you with a groan as he hot seed shoots onto your back. It darkens the fabric of your dress, pearly lines sitting on your sparkling skin.
Simon chuckles as you whine under him, his rough hands rubbing his cum over your skin in a thin layer.
"Gotta make sure your pretty skin is nice and coated, love."
His cum looks close enough to sunscreen, anyways.
| MIGUEL O'HARA: HANDS ON THE WHEEL
"Keep 'er steady, baby."
You only moan back in reply, your hands tightening around the wheel. Your hands are sweating from the sun's heat and from the heat radiating off of Miguel's body as he thrusts into you. The sound of your wet cunt is drowned out by the sound of the ocean, but Miguel is more concerned about the ocean of wetness that gushes around his cock. Your grip on the wheel has nothing on the vice grip your pulsating walls have on his cock.
His large hands reach up, his chest pressing against your sweaty back as his hands cover yours. He guides your hands slightly to keep the wheel straight, his thrusts not stopping. He's trying to teach you how to steer the boat through groans, and you only moan and whine in response as your mind gets consumed by the way his cock drills into you. Miguel curses when your grip on the wheel slips, your body falling forward as your orgasm crashes into you and the wheel spins quickly out of control.
His hand instinctively clasps around your neck to keep you from hitting your head on the wheel, making your back arch as he pulls you close to him as his other hand works to fix the wheel. His cock slips out of you, the ends of your fluttery dress pushing over his angry tip. He grunts as he thrusts his cock into your back, groaning as he spurts hot strings of pearly white dampen the back of your dress. You babble as you come down, feeling the wet parts of your dress starting to cling to your skin.
"Didn't I tell you that ya'gotta be careful while at the wheel, mi vida?"
Well, whose fault is that.
| JOHN PRICE: PRETTY HOUSEWIFE
This by far is his favorite part of coming home.
He loves getting home after a rough deployment, only to find his pretty little wife waiting dutifully at home for him. You treat it like a special occasion, making his favorite meals in that cute little apron and sundress that has his cock throbbing. You're so good to him. It's only right that he shows his appreciation with a good fucking.
He doesn't care if his hot plate of food is getting cold as he bullies his cock into your needy hole. You're so tight from not being filled with his cock for so long, your fingers not stretching you out the way his fat cock can. Your little moans and cries of his name are the only nourishment he needs at the moment. His pretty little wife takes him so well.
"Looks so gorgeous f'me like this, doll." John grunts at you, chuckling at the way your walls flutter around him.
This is by far the greatest way to be welcomed home, and of course he's gotta give you the first of many gifts he's got you while he was away. He groans low and deep as he shoots the build-up of cum that's been sitting painfully in his balls, watching as it gushes around his cock as your pussy gets stuffed full. You look so pretty sitting across from him in that sundress, trying to keep as much cum as possible in your snug cunt as he finally digs into his home-cooked meal.
No way in hell he'd let his seed go to waste.
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mtkmsp · 5 days
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THE RETURN OF COVID Horror/thriller movie style!! I don't think I could find enough words to express how much I love doing those posters............ For this one, I felt like the cast of "antagonists" of the movie would make for a pretty awesome composition and mood, and paired with the church setting I think I got something pretty interesting, haha. More below!
As it happens, a fandom friend asked if I could maybe some day record my process, and therefore I did! (and went the extra mile adding goofy horror songs to it...) Check it out if you're interested :)
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I've detailed it in the YT vid description as well, but my process is rather straightforward. I tend to be a "lazy person" in that I like to, ideally, spend the least time possible on anything, and so far this process is how I've best achieved that while still managing some rather complex pieces. I like to be extremely rough with my sketches and prioritize dynamism and composition, and I usually take my time repositioning the characters until I'm satisfied before I go any further. I don't have the best mental visualization so I usually try to have a very rough idea of what I want before I directly jump to sketching and mostly ideate there. The lineart is very straightforward as well. I come back later to adjust line thickness here and there but otherwise I just "trust my brush". The fake fisheye perspective is entirely wrong and made up so I needed some custom perspective lines to know roughly how to position the background elements.
I do come back with composition guides after I'm done with the lineart, just to check how the illustration is doing. I prefer not to use them at first because it tends to "constrain" me a bit too much, and I like to remain very free as to maintain a feeling of spontaneity, which is why I will only fix the composition afterwards (when I do). Coloring is then fairly streamlined, with background colors/atmosphere guiding the overall color scheme followed by character coloring and additional details. The most fun part comes with the post-processing, where I go wild with additional fog and light shaft layers to add depth to the entire thing. I use a bunch of additional tone curve layers to adjust the colors and make it more uniform, as well as one blurred, flattened copy of the illustration with strengthened contrasts, in overlay mode, to add some vibrance, and a noise layer for texture. That's it! Thanks for watching, for those interested :))
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wizzard890 · 2 years
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So there’s a trend that I absolutely hate in online discussions of (non-satirical) genre, particularly genre that’s influenced by the gothic. This trend makes my eyes roll back in my head until I can see through my own skull. It makes me want to bite a car in half. It makes me want to step into the jellyfish tank at the New York Aquarium and beg for the sweet sweet annihilation of a thousand stings. 
I call this trend: Oh Just Be Sensible, and it goes like this:
“Why do vampires always end up covered in blood when they feed, I don’t spill soup all down the front of my shirt when I eat dinner. Real toddler energy.”
“Why do people always cut their hands to swear oaths, everyone knows it would hurt way less on the [insert body part with fewer nerve endings]”
“Vampires shouldn’t be feeding from people’s wrists, it damages the tendons, if doctors don’t take your blood from your wrist, vampires shouldn’t either! No one will be able to flex their fingers the next day.”
(This comes up a lot with vampires, I mention, as I stride purposefully into the glistening mass of jellyfish.)
There are direct answers for some of these when it comes to the practical visual language of a particular medium (for example, you cut your hand on stage / on set because you can hold a blood pack in there, and even if you don’t have an effect, the gesture and its purpose can be discerned from the nosebleeds) but what really gets me is how thematically boneheaded this sort of observation is. 
Like, let’s go down the list here. 
Why do vampires end up covered in their victims’ blood? Well Scoob, do you think it could maybe have something to do with their bestial, inhuman nature? Or with the erotic and sensual abandon with which they can approach violence, now that they’re untethered from human morals? 
Why do people cut their hands to swear oaths? Aside from what I mentioned above, do you think maybe it’s because it adds a layer of gravity to see two people swearing an oath to one another with blood dripping from their clasped hands? Do you think it’s maybe to evoke a unity of body, something greater and more primal than a unity of word? Or maybe to remind us of the dire consequences of breaking a blood oath?
Why are authors having vampires feed from people’s wrists if it damages their tendons? Damn, maybe that’s because it’s where the pulse is. You know, the pulse? The heartblood, the thing that races when you’re scared or turned on or both? The thing that stutters when you’re close to death and could, should the author choose, ring in the vampire’s ears like a chime or a great pounding thunderclap. Maybe in a story about undead beings who drink blood, we can sacrifice a bit of sensible reality in order to enforce the emotion and thematic heft of a scene? 
Images like these communicate what is happening between two characters, not just the events that are transpiring! No one making stories forgot to consider ~sensible~ little observations, because it would be absolutely inane to consider an observation with the creative value of a wet paper towel. This stuff is part of our visual language for a reason! Themes also need to be communicated! 
God, like, okay, I’m exhausted and the aquarium staff keeps yelling at me when they find me here, but let me just wrap up by saying that relationships, character and meaning are expressed in so many ways beyond dialogue or internal monologue, and those expressions are so rarely sensible. 
(Also all this shit looks cool as hell, do you really want your protagonists swearing to die for one another by dabbing their slightly bleeding elbows together, grow up.)
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kcrossvine-art · 1 year
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G'morning all! Its nice to get back things,. Theres been some roadblocks with med shortages and life, and also with the material for these recipes. So far we've covered a lot of pastries, not because theyre mentioned more often in the series, but because being mentioned lends them more specificity in flavor than things like gravy, peas, or various meats. The latter can be prepped, seasoned, and served in so many different ways that it feels harder to make them 'faithfully' because a packet of instant potato mash is just as faithful as a pot of buttered potato mash. Baked goods tend towards 1, maybe 2, 'base' recipes that get altered and added to. 
 Today, we'll be making Beorn's Honey Cakes! A dish from one of my partners favorite characters- a delectable little treat befitting the… warm personality of the character.
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to Beorn's Honey Cakes?” YOU MIGHT ASKSimple stuff! Simple sweet stuff!
All-purpose flour
Baking powder
Salt
Ground nutmeg
Unsalted butter
Whole milk
2 eggs
Honey
Vanilla extract
The veins of honey cakes ancestry can be traced back to any moment where people began baking bread. Honey is a natural preservative, and sweeter still on its lonesome.
AND, “what does Beorn's Honey Cakes taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKLike your aching muscles repairing themselves
Tastes like a honey graham cracker
But the texture is softer, wetter- somewhat like banana bread
Oh, and this will make your house smell So So Good
If you can resist the temptation of eating them immediately, they taste even richer the day after baking
Would pair well with milk green tea
Would also pair well with fresh orange slices (or those chocolate 'orange slices' candy)
Genuinely don't forget to flip them upside down when they go to bake the second time, not sure what it is but i was curious and did a test where i flipped half of the batch upside down and kept the other half of the batch right-side up like they cooked in the muffin tin. The ones i flipped upside down universally had a more consistent texture and the honey was able to permeate further.
.where honey called for, used clover honey
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From start to finish this recipe takes about an hour of work, give or take some negligible time for prep.
The batter is perhaps the babybird of all cake batters. The gloopy, protruding crumbs of butter, not unlike a squabs beady pupils visibly dark under its skin, break up the mass of sickly smooth and reassuringly sweet-smelling oak-colored liquid. You can feel the confusion of bees outside your home, wondering if this your attempt at making royal jelly.
Just like a babybird, it becomes more than the sum of its parts. Layer on that honey drizzle, layer it on thick, theres no risk of drowning subtle flavors. Its crisp edges will keep its form, springy and warm, inviting you as if you're not the one who crafted it (food you didn't cook always tastes better). The bees are sooooooooooooooo jealous of your opposable thumbs and muscular strength.
If you dont have eggs you could try substituting with apple mash. I can't vouch for it in this recipe but replacing eggs with mashed up apples for pancakes gives it adds a nice fruity flavor without changing the texture, and in theory should work here as well.
I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) 
🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁
Ingredients:
270 grams all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground nutmeg
1 stick unsalted butter
160 grams milk
2 eggs
110 grams your favorite honey
1 tsp vanilla extract
Muffin tray and parchment paper
Method:
Preheat oven to 350f
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and nutmeg.
 Add the butter and rub it into the flour with your fingers until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. 
In a small bowl beat the eggs until just combined. Pour in milk and then vanilla extract while stirring.  Keep stirring vigorously while slowly pouring in honey.
Stir until the mixture is consistent in color.
Pour the liquids over the dry mixture and stir until just combined.
Pour the batter into a greased muffin tray, don't use any muffin paper/lining/cups.
Bake for 16 minutes, or until they reach their full height.
Carefully remove from the muffin pan and place the muffins upside down on a parchment lined tray.
Using a silicone pastry brush, generously cover the tops of the cakes with honey. Allow to sit for about 5 minutes to let the honey soak into the cakes.
Bake for an additional 8-10 minutes, or until the cakes are golden brown.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool.
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luveline · 9 months
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Hi love, i would love to see more of spencer x stripper!reader. Hope u are doing good <3
hi thank u, u too! ♡ fem
You press the heel of your palm to the shower tiles, head hanging and hair soaked to the scalp. Rivulets of hot water and soap suds slick their way down your front. 
“You okay?” 
Spencer's voice through the door, a better warmth than any luxurious shower. “Sorry, I'm getting out!” 
“No! No, stay in there if you want, I'm just wondering.” 
You force yourself out of the shower and into a towel. “I'm getting out.” 
“I have some clothes for you,” he says, “I can leave them by the door.” 
You wrap the towel tightly around your chest and step to the door. Spencer's startled face is on the other side, smiling nervously, a bundle of clothes held to his chest. 
“They're my friends. My coworker. Penelope? I asked her first and she said she doesn't mind at all. They might not fit, but…” 
“Thank you. You and Penelope.” You hold out one hand. Spencer passes you the clothes through the cracks of the door and you shut it, maybe unnecessarily. 
Spencer's seen you in various states of undress, but it isn't privacy that's worrying you tonight. You can't help looking over your shoulder, wondering if someone's watching you for a split second of madness. 
You pull on your borrowed pyjamas. A little Japanese cat winks up at you from the pants, the shirt a baseball tee with pink sleeves and a white body. Cute, you think. Penelope must be fun. 
Spencer's in the kitchen making two mugs of tea when you emerge. It's the herbal flavour you favour, steam billowing from the rims like clouds in the cold air. Your long walk in the rain is nearly forgotten by your skin if not your pittering pulse. 
“You okay?” 
“I'm fine.” 
“You sure?” He doesn't give you time to answer, carefully placing the two mugs on the coffee table, before tapping a gentle hand to your shoulder. “You wanna sit down?” 
“I'm really fine, handsome, it's … it's not the first time someone's followed me home.” You smile falsely. 
“That's not okay.” 
“I know.” You point at your cup of tea. “Can I?” 
“Of course you can,” he says, sitting beside you on the couch, leaving a more than chivalrous gap between you.
It's not a gap you want nor need, and after a few sips you've warmed enough to sidle closer to him, in touching distance, and then touching. Thigh to thigh, you watch the tops of his cheeks turn a pretty, blurry pink. “I was scared,” —your knuckles touch briefly to his knee— “but nothing happened. So don't worry about me, Dr. Reid, please.” You layer your voice with a sweetness that comes with seduction, a playfulness to mete his sudden regression into timidity. 
“I worry about you all the time.” He smiles, at least, so it isn't a burden. 
“I worry about you, too.” 
“I know you can take care of yourself, I just can't help thinking about the statistics. I know exactly how likely it is that something bad could happen to you, and it's not that you should worry, I don't want you to be scared, but– it's like, it plays on repeat in my head. It's– I'm not trying to–” 
“Hey, handsome,” you murmur, giving his leg a shy squeeze. “I know. It's dangerous and it's unlikely at the same time. And it feels silly talking about it.” 
“But silly not to,” he adds. 
“Yeah. I know, Spencer, I swear.” 
“I know you know,” he murmurs through a smile. 
“I know you know I know,” you joke back, smiling back sunnily. It doesn't take much of him to cheer you up. Ever since the day you met, he's been like a balm for your rampant aching, a brown-eyed, pretty-handed sweetheart. Whether it's sharing a seat on the train, or meeting up for dinner at the Indian restaurant behind his apartment, or just calling each other on the phone, he knows what to say to fix things. You forget your life, and you get to be with him instead. 
Spencer puts his mug of tea down to hug you. You'd known he was going to. It always happens like this, the two of you together, drinking tea and showing each other just the smallest fraction of each other's hearts. He presses his nose to your cheek as his hands run down the length of your back, and all you can think about is how he knows nearly everything about you and he holds you voluntarily.  
“Love you, Spence,” you mumble into his shoulder. 
“I love you too. I'm here for you, okay? I don't care how scared I am, I love being your friend.” 
You try not to sigh. Friend isn't necessarily what you want to be, but he'd let you in when you buzzed without asking why you were dropping by, and he'd held your gaze as you explained the man who'd been following you, your dead phone, your superglued shoes fallen apart in the typhoon. Spencer's everything a person could ever need. Dependable, vulnerable, sweet, kind, patient. He's pretty in every facet of the word. 
“Is it really that scary?” 
“Thinking about guys following you home?” he asks, rubbing your back gently. “It's terrifying. Weren't you terrified?” 
You blink back the sudden heat of emotion behind your eyes. “Um,” you say, higher than you mean, “uh, it wasn't–” You shrug, but your hands feel shaky and strange. 
Spencer's voice softens, “Hey, it's okay. I'm sorry.” 
You try not to think about what might've happened. When you realised there was someone following you, you didn't think, oh, he'll hurt me, you thought, I need to be faster. I need to get somewhere they can't. 
You needed safety and Spencer was the first, safest place. 
“I'm sorry for coming here.” 
Spencer pushed you away from him without malice, his hands on your arms. Alarm rings his eyes, eyebrows rising, “What? Why would you say that?” 
Because you didn't sign up for this. Because I'm me, and you're you, and you didn't have a choice, you were too good to let me be without you. 
Because, if you think about it, Spencer is more than safety to you. 
He doesn't baulk at your silence. “Hey,” he murmurs, thumb rubbing into the soft skin inside your elbow sweetly, “you like it here, don't you?” You nod. “Then– then who cares why you're here?” 
Spencer pulls you into his arms again. “You'll feel better in the morning… I'm gonna get you a new phone.” 
“What? Why?” 
“Cos that one's always dead. You need to be able to call me when you need me.” 
You smile into his shoulder. “You're not buying me a phone.” 
“Watch me.” 
You don't cry in his arms, but it's a weirdly close call. 
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ovaryacted · 6 months
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Really random but dad bod DI Leon🤤🤤🤤 (I really love DI Leon if you couldn’t tell) like I love Leon w abs, and his hourglass shape but just him cuddling w you and being so warm and soft😢 (or when y’all are making love and his tummy just has us fitting together like puzzle pieces and it’s LIKE OMGMGM😭😭😭😭😭)
-🐏
cw: descriptions of body changes, internalized fatphobia, smutty thoughts/acts.
OHHHHHH DAD BOD LEON IS MY VICE PLEASE OH MY FUCKING GOD. LIKE RAHHHH, I NEED IT BAD. Ram anon, I'm on to you.
The changes happen after a year into his forced retirement, he doesn't realize it until he becomes more aware of the way your arms feel wrapping around his soft torso. Once adorned with hard muscle, his body now was covered in a layer of skin that expanded over time. He still had the same physique and the same capacity for strength, but there was an added softness he’d acquired recently that sent his head in for a spin.
Retirement has been good for Leon, he no longer has to deal with the hecticness of mission briefings and assignments. He gets to actually rest, his usual overactive nervous system now rendered down and becoming more manageable. The first couple of weeks he spent falling asleep in bed or on the couch, like his body was playing catchup on the energy that's been robbed from him over the years. You didn’t bother him about it, didn’t even judge him whenever you’d find him limp on the bed and snoring in the middle of the day.
You'd use that time to run errands or do chores around your shared home, often preparing meals for him whenever he'd wake up groggily to go look for you. Eating homemade meals that were made with love certainly started to add up, the consistent intake of food was new and apparently something that his body liked and needed. The constant nausea he often experienced when he was under so much stress went away, slowly learned how to enjoy eating again like he did years before he was forced to become an agent.
He never focused on his appearance most days, but as Leon stopped to observe himself in the mirror one morning, his eyes were fixated on his body. He's certainly changed after a while, stomach a little fuller and cheeks more plump than before, hell even his arms and thighs looked bigger. His initial reaction to the change would have been disgust, to put himself back on a routine to regain the muscle he's lost and to critique every imperfection that would eventually be another nuisance.
But as he looked at himself a little longer, a smile crept up on his face, not minding what he saw for probably the first time in his life. All he saw was your love for him, how the signs of you taking care of him after all this time were starting to reflect in how he looked. He was healthy, he was alive, and that was a win in his book.
You certainly didn't mind the changes either and took every opportunity to remind Leon of just how much you adored him. Cuddling him whenever you could was something that became a ritual between the two of you, sneaking under his arm and digging your face into his chest any chance you got. He was soft, warm, and just a tad bit squishy. He was human, he was himself, not some war machine meant to work like a dog day and night.
One of your favorite things about his new appearance was the intimate moments you both shared and how he felt around you both internally and externally. You loved getting on your knees and worshipping him, sucking over his cock lavishly and running your hands over his thick thighs, biting at them when Leon found himself lost in pleasure.
Or when you were riding him and the sound of his thighs slapping against yours was louder than before, his lower tummy rubbing into you, meshing together so well one would think you were part of the same whole. It made you feral, like a primal instinct to claim him and show him that all you wanted was to make him feel accepted in this new body. Leon didn't complain, he loved how your attraction to him seemed to skyrocket.
Maybe being a bit more soft wasn't so bad after all.
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syncopatedid · 7 months
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Thinking out loud about The Apothecary Diaries #19... and my observation on how many have expressed disdain about Jinshi's muted reaction in rushing to get treatment for Maomao's injury. How could he remain so calm when the one he cares about is unconscious and bleeding? Why was he not running out of the temple with Maomao in his arms, flailing and yelling for a physician? Why was he not more distressed about it? Anyone would have lost it upon seeing their loved ones hurt like that, would they not? And to that, I'd like to offer this for consideration: Jinshi isn't just anyone. He is the Crown Prince. And to add an extra layer of nuance, consider also that Jinshi, attending the purification ceremony as the Crown Prince, meant that all eyes were on him that day.
Even undercover as an eunuch, Jinshi takes great care in conducting himself with the propriety expected of his role, only ever letting his guard down with a select few whom he trusts enough to have his full immaturity on display. In all likelihood, Jinshi has been made aware of his status and the politics of the palace since he was young. It's not a stretch to assume that the allegiances and loyalties of people who serve the palace are constantly in flux. Everywhere we turn, we see politics at play; amongst the court officials, the Emperor's consorts, and even the handmaidens serving their respective mistresses.
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In earlier kerfuffles, when it came to protecting Maomao from being bullied by the handmaidens, Jinshi would approach it in a way that his actions would not be seen as favoritism towards Maomao. Jinshi also didn't cry when he was seeing Ah-Duo off, and would only allow himself to be vulnerable when he was alone with Maomao. In every situation where we see him acting in an official capacity, Jinshi is always conscious and careful about how he is being perceived. So it goes without saying that appearing as the crown prince that day, Jinshi knows his every action is being watched and scrutinized by the people around him. Any move that could be potentially perceived as "weakness" or "unbecoming" of a successor to the throne could start rumors that might reach the enemies of the state, who could use that intel to sow discord among the common people or persuade disgruntled officials to turn against the current regime. The fact that the crown prince's life has been targeted only serves to remind him that there are those actively plotting to destabilize the kingdom by causing massive panic and chaos. Jinshi knows the weight of his role and cannot act impulsively in any situation, even if it's about someone he deeply cares about.
When we consider the above, it would be understandable why he showed as much restraint as he did when it came to what had happened to him and to Maomao. He's used to putting the needs of the country above his own all his life. To step out of the temple maintaining the dignity of royalty after an assassination attempt has just been made on him sends a message of defiance to the ones who were most certainly watching somewhere. And while sullying his hands with the blood of a mere servant girl might send some tongues wagging, Jinshi's composure and quiet indignation would cement his position not only as a man befitting of his lineage but also as a man not to be underestimated. Just something to think about. p.s: As much as I think Jinshi is seething with rage, I kind of feel he would still hold back on the death sentence when it comes to meting out punishment to the guard who was only doing his job, let alone when it's about a servant's disobedience towards a ranked official... so maybe Jinshi could still spare his life and throw him to the gallows or something. That won't matter anyway, since Lakan will probably use his connections to see that he will not live long enough to serve out his full sentence RIP get wrecked!
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leafyisgreennotblue · 7 months
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With Legends Z-A, I gave him the unavoidable design. I had written so much background and trying to get it on Insta was a hassle, but luckily I’ll be able to fully put it here with no issues,,:
It was hard to steer from the typical older Emmet look but I tried my hardest to make it seem like it would’ve been. I tried looking up France fashion from 1600-1900 but it was either some ridiculous outfits or suits, and since it mentioned the redevelopment of Lumiose City, it was either working up from something like Jubilife village or was upgrading from what it already is. I’ve heard a lot of theories that Legends Z-A will be taking place in the future or bounce back from future to past, but since it’s hard to incorporate futuristic outfits without knowing “how futuristic” it’ll be, I stuck to something from a layer time period in France. I drew him more of a square shape in his eyes instead of triangular, both to signify age and his lost connection with Ingo. Maybe not a permanent design but I think it adds a lot to his demeanor. He kept Basic stuff like he still has his coat, hat, etc. because Ingo got to keep all his old stuff too, but since the trailer looked more modern and Pokémon were with people, I don’t think it would be all destroyed like Ingos just cause it seems like a more civilized nation alongside pokemon and if it really did get destroyed in some way, I have a feeling he would be able to get it repaired without it getting ruined again. Also in terms of the suit I think the darker color is a good parallel to Ingos pearl clan outfits lighter colors. A lot of the design choices were meant to parallel him anyways. Since Ingo had lost his gloves in his Hisui design, giving Emmet new ones felt appropriate for some reason. In terms of the cane I gave him, not only is he an old man, I think it’s kinda needed. Ingo had that little wristband to signify he was a warden, while I think the cane could be useful for a mega stone wink wink nudge nudge. Cute little accessories for them I’m so nice 💀 he could definitely have a slower lifestyle in comparison to Ingo, and I definitely could see him working at Lumiose Station (if it exists in this game) and even though he would most likely have his memory wiped too, Ingo still said the same train themed quotes even with his memory gone, and even then he still had SOME memory, it was just very faint. Emmet definitely could feel some “connection” to the station and say stuff like “Some late nights I think I see a man who looks like me, but upon second glance it’s just my imagination. Even if I can’t seem to shake it from my mind, it seems I still wish to see him again…” anywho for the drawing, I made a few references. The main one just being a reference of design, but the one in the top right corner was a small reference to Alabaster Icelands. I’ve seen a lot of people use the snow to give Ingo flashbacks to Emmet, and while I think my station one is more closely related to Ingos darker color scheme, I think having him in the snow was a good nod to that. The bottom right corner was a reference to a drawing (that probably most people already know what I’m referencing) that had Pokémon that I thought resembled them, and one of the ones I had included for Ingo was Klefki. So just a little salt to the wound (it wasn’t even that bad.) Anywho, I know the design isn’t very refreshing, but I tried to keep it as canonical as possible.
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bloodiedrogue · 1 year
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THE ROGUE TAX (2)
SUMMARY: Fed up with paying Astarion to pick all the locks, you force yourself to learn the hard way.
PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader (reads as Gender Neutral but future chapters will be femme focused, just a heads up!)
WORD COUNT: 2,635
WARNINGS: Short nightmare sequence, too much sexual tension, slight mentions of a handkink, inappropriate lock pick teaching.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I'm posting these super early but day two of the Haunted Hoedown! This time the prompt is "finders keepers!" I honestly had so much fun with this one, so hopefully all the new Astarion fans that've followed me in the last day enjoy? Love you guys. :))))
Also I was originally going to make all of these challenge fics separate but I've since decided to make it more of a connected fic so... that's a thing now? I'll link the last chapter below!
CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST / NEXT CHAPTER
-
“I wasn’t aware you were so proficient at lock picking.” 
You smirk at Astarion’s false praise, busying your hands against the lock’s mechanism. You’ve only been at it for five or six, maybe seven tops but you can already tell it’ll be a while. The lock itself is tough; covered in a layer of thick rust. Plus, being that it’s a chest and not a door, it’s a bit more advanced than you’re used to.
“Yes, well, not all of us are vampires that can woo their way through a padlock.” 
In response, Astarion laughs, throwing his head back so dramatically that from the corner of your eye, it looks as if he’s lost his head for a moment. “You do realize who you’re talking to, correct?”
You hum out a response and push the short hook further in, feeling the pressure of a loose pin hit the end. When that happens, you grin to yourself and slide closer to the chest, biting your bottom lip in excitement. 
Over the last few weeks, you and the rest of the group had come upon some interesting findings. A cave inside a well, a few hidden cellars around the surrounding the goblin camp, a hidden chest or two. At first, it was exciting, getting to experience the joys of a good treasure hunt but quickly such feelings fell once you discovered how difficult it was to break into said things without the help of Astarion and his seemingly magic hands.
“I know you’re excited to prove yourself, darling, but why don’t you let me finish things off, hm? It’ll go a lot quicker.” 
You shake your head and continue your ministrations, carefully pushing the hook further in, feeling that alleviated pressure of another pin. “I’m tired of relying on you and your bloody rogue tax.” 
After agreeing that Astarion would just pick every lock your party found for a price, it was evident he was more than willing to take more than he was owed. Saying things like I did all the work or you wouldn’t be here if not for me, it was obvious he was exploiting you. Using his roguish charms to earn himself a bigger cut despite doing next to nothing else. 
It was frustrating, to say the least. Another minor annoyance to add to his long list of negative personality traits, and lately you were determined to combat it. To learn the trade for yourself so that every piece of treasure found could remain solely yours. 
“I’m sure everyone is but that’s the price you pay for a professional.” 
You roll your eyes and continue to fiddle, feeling his gaze glued to the positioning of your hands —how your fingers tighten and twist around the metal instrument. 
You’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you at least a little bit nervous —having his eyes on you. Across your palms, you can feel the slick of sweat collecting with each new movement, while behind you, you can practically feel Astarion’s judgement throughout, silently picking apart all of your mistakes. 
“You’re doing—“
You shush him angrily before he can continue, knowing he’s trying to break your concentration. Knowing that he thinks that if he can prove to be enough of a distraction you’ll end up slipping up and giving in. 
“I was just going to tell you about the wonderful job you’re doing.” His tone is laced with sarcasm. Drenched in a thick layer of impatience that has you groaning under your breath. 
“Isn’t there someone else you can bother?”
“No.”
You know there is. In the other room of the abandoned building you currently find yourselves in, at least four other people are rooting through the rubble. Most likely they’re stationed in their usual areas. Gale’s probably next to the stack of bookshelves with Karlach, telling her all about his collection back at the camp while Wyll and Shadowheart are searching through the cellar in hopes of more wine. 
“You sure?”
For a moment you debate telling him to go keep watch with Lae’zel just so that he’ll shut up but the thought dissipates once you feel him flop onto the floor beside you with a groan. 
“Everyone else is so dull,” he complains. His line of slight flickers between your face and hands, watching the way they remain almost too still as he speaks. “They’re all do this do that, and for what?”
You shrug your shoulders ever so slightly, unsure of what he means.
“They’re all living for other people, darling. Other causes. Everything they do serves a higher purpose and for that reason alone, they’re boring.”
Despite your previous determination your hands release themselves from the padlock before you find yourself readjusting —moving to plop down next to him. “You think everyone’s boring because they’re selfless?”
“Predictable,” he corrects, pointing a loose finger in your direction. “All of them talk too much about a future that may not even come considering we’re infected and have little idea on how to remedy the situation.” 
You’re not sure where this rant is coming from but you welcome it considering it’s been weeks since you’ve had a normal conversation that didn’t revolve around mapping or looting or combat. Weeks since you’ve taken a moment to learn about the people you find yourself in constant contact with. 
“Some people just don’t like looking back.” 
There’s a hint of surprise in his eyes when you respond as if he wasn’t expecting such an answer. Or really, maybe an answer at all. All at once his face seems to rise in thought, taking a moment to absorb the words before he hums in response, pursing his lips. “Yes, well, I suppose some people don’t have a past worth running from.”
What’s that supposed to mean?
The tadpole behind your eye wriggles for his attention before you can even think to suppress it. Working to pull him in as you stare at one another, narrowing your eyes at the sudden cerebral contact. At first, he’s reluctant. You can feel the pushing sensation suggesting that you stop. That you should stick to the confines of your own mind rather than pestering him, but quicker than you can move away to agree, it’s as if you’re sucked back in again. Pulled by the very thread of your own brain matter to see flashes of a life you assume to be his.
The first thing you see is candlelight. A flickering of warm hues that dance across wooden interiors. It’s almost dizzying the way the light shifts across your vision, forcing you to close your eyes. Next to you, you can hear Astarion breathing heavily. Deep inhales followed by even deeper exhales that you swiftly use as a metronome to carry your focus. To aid your tadpole’s connection. 
Swallowing hard, you listen to the beats of his breath, feeling them take over your chest as the vision in front of you grows to reveal bits of cobblestone. In the background, you can hear the faint sounds of scuttling feet. The dripping of water. A hungry growl followed by an even hungrier gnaw of flesh that squelches on your tongue. 
You can taste the iron —feel the fur and bones of an unknown animal brush against your lips and gums. All of it swirls around your mouth like a tornado of overstimulating sensations, forcing the vision to pass as you reach for your throat, coughing up nothing but your own spit despite how real it feels. 
It’s apparent then what Astarion means. That some people aren’t always blessed with the privilege of running away. That people like him don’t have the means of calling upon allies to aid them through the awful shit that is reality. 
Even with such little context, you can sense through his tadpole that he’s alone in this life. Alone before the Illithid —alone now. And more than likely, he’ll be alone after it’s all over, in death or otherwise. 
Rubbing your throat —trying your best to get rid of the tainted feeling of skin and bone from your mouth, you feel empathy rather than sympathy. An understanding of his words as you look toward him, noticing the far-off look in his eye before he blinks and travels back.
“I only showed you that to save the explanation,” he says, and whether or not it’s true you merely just nod, welcoming the silence. The tranquil hush of two people attempting to navigate the other. 
It doesn’t last long. In between, there are a few moments of background noise. The sound of echoing footsteps and muffled voices. You know it’s the others looting just as you should be, but neither of you moves to join until Astarion eventually clears his throat, signalling change. 
“Anyway, they’re all in their own worlds, coasting on the wings of optimism.” He flicks his hand around the air while rolling his eyes. “It’s disgusting and partly why I choose your company above theirs.” 
Letting yourself fall back into your usual, somewhat antagonistic rhythm, you give him a curious look. “Partly, huh?”
“Don’t get too excited,” he quips, the edge of his lip twitching into that usual grin of his. “The other part is the potential of your blood, darling.”
“Ah yes. And here I was assuming you were just following me around so that you could steal my treasure.”
Both of your eyes move back to the unbroken padlock. It’s the only thing in this room that seems to be worth either of your time and Astarion knows it. It’s why he’s been so keen on your failure. 
“You know, I could help you if you like. Show you a thing or two so that the next time this happens you don’t have to rely on me.”
It’s tempting, even if you know that you’ll be taxed to all hell. Whatever spoils you find will ultimately be cut in half and, more than likely, he’ll sweeten the deal for himself by claiming first pick. 
“What’s the price?”
He shoots you a look of offence, clutching his chest. “My dear, I’d never dare put a price on the education of thievery.”
You hold back a grin, pressing your lips together, watching the way he quickly springs into action, motioning for you to hand him your tools. When you do he begins to explain the process, showcasing all the tips and tricks against the air with careful precision. Which would be helpful if you weren’t so focused on his hands rather than his words. On the way they curl around the handles of your tools, tightening with every gesture performed. 
Astarion’s got nicer hands than most. Long and thin and surprisingly well-manicured for someone who spends most of his time in the forest or drinking the blood of unsuspecting animals. And guiltily enough staring at them so intently just reminds you of that night he drained your neck. 
You can still feel the pressure of his fingers against your head. The way they roughly cupped you like a goblet of wine. Despite the fear in that moment, you’re now able to look back at that memory almost fondly. A moment of potential weakness for you somehow became a moment of trust for him and as a result, here you were now, acting almost friendly amid a terrible situation. 
It makes you grin, prompting Astarion to stop his explanation and narrow his eyes. 
“Are you even listening?”
“Hm?”
There’s a knowing glance that befalls his face then. A transition of clarity that has his mouth opening and closing before he hands you your tools. “Might be best if we take a more hands on approach.” 
You look at him confused, letting the hooks in your hand lazily rest in your palm as you watch him hop to his knees and begin to guide you. 
“I want you to do exactly what you were doing before, alright? Use the hook to push the pins.” 
Despite your continued confusion, you follow his position by kneeling in front of the chest and popping the hook into the hole, digging around the darkened space until you feel the shift of that first pin. 
“Got it?” You spare him a glance and a nod, watching him crawl towards you, positioning his chest firmly against your back before reaching out to hold your wrists. “Now, take that other hook of yours and situate it at the base of the barrel.”
Doing exactly that, you feel his fingers slowly slip over yours, navigating you through the trials of getting that second pin to shift as the barrel turns in your grasp. At first, it’s difficult. Mostly because all you can focus on is the breath that hits the side of your face. The heat of the air that travels down your spine in nervous waves you’re almost certain he can feel. But then you’re reminded that you’ve been here before; stuck within his heated grasp. 
“That’s it. Just like that.” 
You’re practically holding your breath as you find that third pin, feeling Astarion’s hand shift you in the right direction before you lose it at the last second. Ever so gently, his chest shifts upwards against your back so that he can rest his chin on your shoulder to get a better look. A newfound weight that makes you close your eyes and release a bit of air from your nose, realizing how intimate this is. 
Somehow it feels even more personal than letting him feed off of you. Perhaps because the bloodsucking was for his own benefit, knowing Astarion, moments like that where he’s able to take rather than give mean next to nothing to him. They’re just moments of manipulation. A series of tactical steps he takes to get whatever he wants whereas this is different. This is for you. 
You’re not sure how to describe it other than an offering of trust. Maybe it’s a token of appreciation for letting him consume. Maybe it’s nothing more than a game to make you squirm beneath his grasp. Either or, it’s an experience you know you’ll be thinking of for days to come, attempting to decipher its intent.
“Once you feel that final pin I want you to ease it in gently, alright? Be delicate.” 
You offer him no response as you listen to his words. If you did, you’re certain he’d make some offhand comment that would only further the lewdness of it all, grinning like the mischievous prick he is. 
“After that, you should feel a little shift and —voilà!” 
The chest clicks open. Your breath releases in a long, much-needed stream but Astarion makes no effort to move from your frame. Instead, he continues to cling to your hands, angling his chin so that when you eventually look at him you’re practically touching noses. 
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“It’s that easy?”
Slowly but surely he slips from your frame with a nod, his hands sliding across the expanse of your sleeves, coating your skin in a wave of goosebumps as he moves to stand. “Yes, but keep it hush, hush. Wouldn’t want the others to find out, would we?”
You shake your head, a small smile creeping across your lips as you then turn towards your reward, gripping both edges of the lid before pushing it up. Inside there are only a few items. A few spell scrolls and some fabric but it’s enough to get you excited regardless, realizing that it’s yours.
“Not bad for your first go.” Peeking over your shoulder, Astarion watches as you sift through everything carefully, unrolling each scroll to read the details before looking back up and raising a brow. 
“You sure there’s no tax?” you ask, but all he does is laugh and shake his head. 
“Finders keepers, darling. As I promised.” 
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p4p1l0nn · 7 months
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omfg i love your mark fics! i'm obsessed with him even more! *crying river* can i request a smut with mark where he just takes reader from behind? maybe him being impatient? i'll leave the rest to you 🫡
be good. be bad. just be.
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pairing: mark x fem!reader
content warning: 18+ cunnilingus, established relationships, mdni.
a/n: thank you love ♡ been in a writing slump lately, so updates might be slower than usual. i’ll get back to it soon. see you in the next piece!
you stand pressed against the wall, face buried into it, your eyes darting towards the door to your roommate’s room. the thought of getting caught adds an extra layer of excitement, igniting the fierce fire within you.
mark was behind you, pushing up your simple silk sleepwear dress. you pulled its front down to keep it out of his way. feeling his large hands on your thighs and hips, you pushed your ass out, letting out a moan that was unusual for you.
perhaps it was the breakfast effect or maybe mark’s just worked up.
you felt his fingers easing into the waistband of your underwear, a feeling that made you smile, given the fabric was starting to bother you anyway. your dress bunched up slightly as your fist tightened. mark seemed to have a knack for this; his touch felt almost magical. your underwear soon began to slowly glide off your hips.
you thought it would end up around your ankles, but mark gently nudged your foot to lift it out one at a time, allowing him to slide your panties away. you couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of mark carrying around a simple pair of black underwear. then again, it was mark.
suddenly, strong hands gripped your backside. you groaned, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. despite the initial embarrassment, your arousal surged as mark ran his thumb over your hole and then leaned in to use his tongue.
managing to free one hand from where it was bunched in your dress, you slid it over your stomach. after slightly wetting your fingers with your own arousal, you dipped them down to run over your clit.
mark’s tongue glided over your slit, and leaned back slightly to blow cool air on it. desperately, he spread your legs wider for easier access. slightly pulled your hips back, and diving straight back into it. his impatience knew no bounds; he didn’t care if you two were caught in the act right there in the hallway.
he circled his tongue, let his teeth graze the sensitive skin, and then returned to the slow licks that made you moan.
your fingers traced a path back to gather some of the wetness and drew it toward your clit again. you panted against the wall.
each hot and wet drag of his tongue made you tense, your muscles tightening. “oh fuck,” you called out, surprised as mark’s pushed into your cunt. “mark, baby, oh– fuck!” you clenched hard, which made him hum in return.
the vibration sent you over the brink, for a second you thought you saw stars because of how good he’s making you feel right now. your legs shook as you abandoned your clit.
mark leaned back to admire his masterpiece once more. red marks adorned your hips from his firm grip, and your arousal dripped between your thighs. he could do this all day. in fact, he planned to have a second round after you finished off. he loved it.
confused as to why he stopped, you instinctively pushed your ass towards him, eager to cum. “ah does my baby want to cum?” he asked, his hands returning to wrap around your hips, slightly tightening his grip, as he resumed eating you out.
your hand reached for the back of his head, urging him to go deeper. he responded by sliding his tongue inside you.
“i’m— i’m coming, oh f-fuck,” you cried out into the wall, trying to pull away. but the grip around your waist kept you in place as he continued to pleasure you.
whimpering, you squeezed your thighs to try to ease the intensity and waited until your breath is calm, your body slowly relaxing.
“you up for another go, baby? i’m still hard as a rock,” mark whispered, his voice heavy with arousal.
“yes, please,” you replied, breathless, as you reached for him again.
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bullet-prooflove · 26 days
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Sfogliatella - Chef Luca x Reader (The Bear)
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Tagging: @Princesssunderworld @djlnkaled @kmc1989 @ineedrickgrimes @imjustheretoreads-blog
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One of the things Luca loves the most about living on a boat is the sound of the waves lightly lapping against the hull as he falls asleep at night, your body curled up against his, his fingertips combing lightly through your hair.
In the mornings he leaves you sleeping in his sheets, your hair a bird’s nest from the previous night’s adventures, his lips brushing over your forehead before he starts his shift. He spends the rest of day thinking about you as he creates the most awe inspiring desserts based on the tours you take of the city during his days off.
You’ve been working as a translator for a few years now, residing in Copenhagen while attending meetings all over the world when required. You take to languages the same way he took to baking, with a ferocity that refuses to be sated.
It makes things interesting in the bedroom when Luca discovers he loves the way you speak Italian. You whisper the filthiest things against his skin as you ride him, your fingers tangled in his hair as he fucks up into you because you make him lose his god damn mind.
In the aftermath you lay draped across him, your fingertips tracing over the freckles on his chest as he asks you to tell him about the best dessert you’ve ever eaten.
“In Naples they have this thing called Sfogliatella.” You tell him, propping your chin up on his chest as you describe it. “It’s like a shell shape and the pastry is layered. It has a sweet custard-like filling made with semolina and ricotta. Sometimes they add chocolate or candied citrus fruit. It’s spectacular, I remember taking a bite of it and I swear I saw God.”
“That good huh?” He says, his fingertips tucking a stray strand of hair back behind your ear.
“I’ve never had anything like it.” You tell him, the edges of your mouth tipping up into a smile at the memory. “It’s one of the things I miss the most about living in Italy.”
He’s never been to Italy, he’d done some travelling before he landed in Copenhagen, shifted from restaurant to restaurant in pursuit of his passion but he’d never ended up there. He thinks he’d like to one day, that maybe the two of you could go together.
In the meantime he sets himself a new challenge.
Making the Sfogliatella.
The first thing he learns about the pastry is just how time consuming it is to make. It takes over twenty seven hours and that’s just the test samples, which go horribly because he’s still finding his footing.
He slaves over the recipe for months, making adjustments, consulting with Carmy and experimenting with different fillings to get the right texture and consistency.
“This is starting to feel like a proposal pastry.” Carmy remarks during their seventh Zoom call, while they’re discussing the merits of using apricots or lemons for the centre and Luca doesn’t respond.
He doesn’t know when the pursuit of the perfect Sfogliatella  became more than just a challenge. He thinks it was the day you took him to the Glyptoteket, your fingers linked through his as the two of you explored the Winter Garden. He can’t explain just how stunning it had been, stepping into that oasis, being surrounded by that plush greenery. He’d sat there for hours sketching ideas in his notebook while you explored the other exhibits. He’d been lacking in inspiration at the time, he’d confided that to you the night before because he’d become frustrated with the menu he was working on and you’d brought him to this place filled with beauty and magic. It was at that  moment he realised just how much you understood him, you’d known exactly what he needed even when he didn’t.
“Good luck.” Carmy signs off and Luca’s left to make a decision between apricots and lemons without him.
It’s on the eve of your birthday that he finally achieves perfection. He carefully packs the pastries away to take home for tomorrow when he’s going to make every single one of your dreams come true.
When you wake up the next morning on his boat it’s to the scent of Earl Grey tea and freshly baked pastries. You can’t believe your eyes when you sit down at the kitchen table and he sets down the Sfogliatella in front of you. He will never forget the expression on your face when you bite in into it, the look of joy, the moan of appreciation.
“It’s better than the one in Naples.” You tell him, pressing your fingertips to your lips because you’re starting to get emotional. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“You deserve the world.” He tells you as he gets down on one knee in front of you, taking your hand in his. “And I want to give that to you as your personal chef and your husband.”
You laugh then because you’d never imagined when you’d taken the job in Copenhagen that you’d end up falling in love with a man as wonderful as Luca, one that has spent months striving to make you feel so special on your big day.
“Yes.” You say as he slides the engagement ring on your finger. “Of course I’ll marry you Luca.”
Love Luca? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.
Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee
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writeonwhiskey · 3 months
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the skz house: ch 19 (18+)
a/n: thank you @bahablastplz for editing! i appreciate you 🩵 and thank you, readers, or your patience.
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[ read chapter 18 here ]
Chapter 19: Of Christmas & Chokers
Over the next few days, the comfortability between you and Chan deepens. Whether you’re in the room or out being tourists, you remain almost glued together—holding hands, sitting on his lap, hugging each other, kissing. Your conversations flow naturally and without tension. In an alternate universe, perhaps this would have been an ideal trip for a couple in love. As delusional as you may have become in believing this could be a new normal, you keep one foot grounded in reality. Well, maybe not the whole foot…but at least a pinky toe.
Your days are packed with several activities such as a nighttime ATV ride, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. You both have the time of your life letting loose. Speeding, swerving, screaming at the rush of it all. You’ve never seen Chan smile so much. He is different when he’s free of the responsibility of being Chapter President…he’s carefree. You tell yourself regardless of how this ends, you’ll be glad you at least got to see him like this.
You go to a local amusement park where Chan is determined to make you face your fear of rollercoasters. However, after the second ride leaves you nearly in tears, Chan puts that mission to rest.
You venture back out on the water on a jet ski. Chan lets you do most of the driving that day, but you soon realize it’s a set up. When you’re far out enough from the beach, his hands on your hips find their way between your legs. He kisses your neck and tells you to turn off the jet ski. He fucks you with his fingers until you come, whispering in your ear how hard his cock is and what he plans to do to you later.
One of the days while you and Chan are out, the hotel staff add holiday decorations around the room, including a small, 4ft tree in the corner near the balcony windows. It makes you squeal with glee upon seeing it. You assume it’s all the hotel’s doing. Lee Know wouldn’t have done something so nice. Would Chan? He doesn’t claim it, if he had put them up to it. It doesn’t matter, though, it makes you happy to see and feel more of the holiday spirit.
When Christmas Eve comes around, there’s a break in the itinerary since a lot of places are closed for the holiday. You wind up sleeping in quite late for your standards and when you finally open your eyes, Chan is wide awake in the bed next to you. He’s sitting up, back against the pillows, laptop in front of him and headphones covering his ears. He’s consumed by whatever he’s doing, but as soon as you turn to face him, his eyes shift from the screen to you.
“She has risen,” he jokes, moving one headphone away from his ear.
“I needed that,” you reply, stretching beneath the blankets. “How long have you been up?”
“A while,” he says with a shrug. “Just working on our chapter project.”
You smile inwardly. Typically, his response would have finished with ‘a while’, you would have had to dig and pry for any further information. He, for now at least, is freely providing you with further details.
“Chapter project?” you ask. You recall hearing him discuss it months ago, but never knew what it was.
“Just something we have to put together to memorialize the year,” he tells you. He turns the laptop so you can see the screen. You recognize the sight of a music program with tracks and layers but have no further understanding of it.
“Putting your minor to use?”
“Kind of. It doubles as my senior project for the minor, so that’s a plus.” He starts moving things around on the screen, opening a folder aptly titled ‘Chapter Project’. He clicks on a few files, opening them to show you as he speaks. “I want to incorporate songs I’ve worked on with different things from the other members—Hyunjin’s artwork for example.”
You know Chan is a good student. All of the members are, really, but you know some of them drag their feet and procrastinate until the last minute. You’ve caught Hyunjin, Changbin and Jeongin rushing to meet midnight deadlines more than once.
“Can I hear something?”
You sit up on the bed, back against the pillows like Chan. The blanket falls from your chest, exposing your breasts.
“Only if you put those things away,” he says, looking pointedly at your breasts, then up to your eyes, then back down again.
“What things?” you ask innocently, leaning back against the headboard and pushing your chest out even more.
Seizing the opportunity, Chan leans over and captures your nipple in his mouth. You let out a surprised scream as he bites down around it. You push him away, swatting his arm. You promptly pull the blanket up to cover them before holding out your hand for his headphones.
He hands them over with a smile, and you put them on. He shuffles a few things around on the screen before a video starts. You assume the graphics are of Felix’s design as it feels like something you’d see in a video game. A song accompanies the images and you’re surprised to hear Chan’s voice over a jovial sounding beat, followed by Seungmin, then Changbin. You didn’t know any of them could sing.
The video is only about a minute long but you feel dumbfounded when it’s over. You remove the headphones and pass them back to Chan.
“I like it,” you say with a smile. “It’s…surprisingly good.”
“You underestimating me?” he asks teasingly.   
“My mistake,” you say sarcastically, placing a hand over your heart. “Is that a cover?”
“No, it’s an original song,” he tells you, turning the laptop back so it’s facing him. “Just waiting on Felix to finish rendering the rest of the graphics, then that one will be done.”
“You’re doing more?”
“A few more. It’ll be a mini-album.”
“Do I get a copy?”
“Hmmm…maybe. If you ask nicely.”
“Oh, never mind then,” you say nonchalantly.
Chan turns to look at you, biting his tongue between his teeth to keep from smiling as he nods.
“I’ll remember that.”
You slide down against the pillows, then turn on your side so you’re still facing him.
“I had no idea you guys could sing,” you tell him.
“Participating in choir was mandatory at our boarding school,” he shrugs. “We can hold a note.”
Chan is full of so many surprises. Most of them pleasant, these days. You want to uncover all there is to know about him, but you know you’ll never be given the time.
You cuddle up to him as he puts his headphones back on. You just lay there and watch him work, expertly navigating around the screen as he continues composing the song. You want to ask why he’s not majoring in music. You already know the answer to that, though. The choices for his future aren’t exactly his to make. His parents decided he would major in business, and sadly that’s all there is to it.
Your heart aches for him—you can see the work he put in to make something creative, the passion he has for it. And he can’t even pursue it.
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It’s now 11:00pm and you and Chan have just returned to the hotel room. After dinner you both wanted to get out of the room for a bit and ended up at one of the only places open—the Magic City casino. The hours spent there are a bit of a blur. It was news to you that anyone playing at the tables or slot machines could get free drinks, so you both decided to indulge. Being so far from the hotel, though, Chan didn’t let either of you get too drunk.
As soon as you’re back to the room, Chan excuses himself to make a phone call and disappears out onto the balcony. You change into your pajamas—a pair of thin, loose fitting shorts and matching top—and return to the living room. You turn on the TV, stopping on the first channel you see playing a Christmas themed movie to entertain you while you wait for him to return. From all the food and drinks, you start to doze off until the sound of the heavy balcony door opening stirs you.
“Everything okay?” you ask when he comes back in.
“Mm,” is his reply, with a small nod of his head. “It’s Christmas day back home. I’m gonna get changed.”
You can only nod as well. His tone sounds a bit sad so you’re not sure what to say. Maybe he’s missing spending the holiday with his little brother and sister. And that makes you sad. It’s your fault he’s not with them.
Chan comes back into the living room clad in a plain black t-shirt and grey sweatpants. He sits down next to you and throws his arm around the back of the couch behind you.
All of your life you had never considered yourself to have a one-track mind but now? With Chan? Seeing him in those grey sweatpants puts one thing at the forefront of your mind, drowsiness and sadness pushed aside. You’ve got to get a hold of yourself.
“Should I open the bottle of wine the hotel left?” you suggest.
“Sure,” is his simple reply.
You stand and retrieve the bottle from the kitchen, along with two wine glasses. You pop the cork and fill both glasses before returning to Chan, handing him one.
“You sure everything’s alright? You seem a bit down…”
You don’t want the tension in the air to linger through the night and this trip has built your courage to address him this way.
“I’ll be fine,” he tells you with a soft smile. He clinks his glass against yours before downing his in one go. “You trying to stay up ‘til midnight for your present?”
You take a sip from your wine glass; happy he’s taking the initiative to change the subject to something lighter.
“I don’t see any presents under that tree,” you say, looking in the corner where the small tree is lit up.
“I haven’t put them there yet.”
“Them?”
As in multiple.
He nods.
“Oh no,” you say, a look of panic taking over your features.
You weren’t sure the two of you would even be exchanging gifts. Not only that, but you don’t feel like you truly know enough about him to get a well thought out present. And you love giving gifts. Hyunjin has a never-ending need for art supplies, so you immediately knew what to get him. You were completely puzzled when it came to Chan.
It was only after the staff added the tree that you thought it’d be nice for him to wake up with something under the tree. Being on vacation, though, you were in a bit of a predicament. All you really had convenient access to was the gift shop.
He must sense your apprehension.
“It’s okay if you didn’t get me anything,” he tries to appease you.
When the panicked look on your face turns into a frown, he takes the wine glass from your hand and places it next to his on the side table. He then pulls you into his lap so you’re straddling him and cups your face with both hands, stroking your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.
“It’s fine,” he says in a sharper tone that makes you nod in acceptance.
“I would have never imagined I’d be spending Christmas Eve with you, let alone exchanging gifts,” you tell him, leaning your forehead against his. “From English classmates to this? Never in my wildest dreams.”
“That wasn’t our first class together,” he says matter-of-factly. He leans back against the couch and takes both of your hands in his, lacing his fingers through.
You furrow your brow at his statement. You wrack your brain for any other class you may have had with him but can’t come up with any.
“What? When?”
“Freshman year…Anthropology 101. In the lecture hall.”
You think back to freshman year and the classes you took. You did, in fact, take an Anthropology course. In a large lecture hall with something close to 100 other students, including your ex.
“I always sat in the back—you were always somewhere up front. Being a nerd, I guess,” he teases. You try to pull your intertwined hands from his to hit him, but he holds onto them tighter, bringing them to his chest. “You look cute when you’re focused, you know that?”
Your brain feels like mush. None of this is ringing a bell.
“Do you remember the presentation you did for extra credit? A family heirloom?”
Now that, you do remember.
“You were so nervous, but I swear it made you look even cuter. The way you talked about the heirloom…” he continues. “…your grandmother’s bracelet, I think it was…”
“Yes,” you say softly.
The bracelet your grandmother gave your mother, who then passed it on to you, and one day you’ll give it to your own child. It feels odd to hear Chan speak about it. Something so deeply personal to you. Granted, you did tell an entire class of strangers about it. But the fact that he remembers it, remembers you?
The fact that he’s known of you this long? Why hadn’t he mentioned it before?
“Why don’t I remember you being in that class?” you ask, struggling to process this new shared history and the words he’s just spilled about you simultaneously.
“It was freshman year…plenty of stuff going on and…your ex,” he shrugs.
He hits the nail on the head with that comment. That class is where you met him.
“You know, the first few weeks of the SKZ house before we bring anyone in?” Chan asks rhetorically, “I thought maybe I’d work up the nerve to talk to you while I could…but then he was there. Always sitting next to you. Even with the class we had this semester. I thought again, maybe it was a sign, you know? But he was waiting for you outside the door after the first class ended.”
You feel a pang of sadness, hearing that. Maybe in a different timeline if he had come talk to you, things would be different. You imagine getting to know a bright-eyed freshman Chan, eager and optimistic to take on the world. Maybe he would have opted out of having an assignee if it were possible, maybe he really could have been yours.
“I remember one of the last lectures you came in with your eyes all puffy,” he continues, disrupting that dangerous train of thought, “like you’d been crying. You didn’t sit anywhere near him that day. I always wondered what happened.”
You open your mouth to speak but close it immediately. What can you say to that? To any of this? Had he really paid such close attention to you? All this time?
“He used to treat you like shit, you know.”
At that remark, you set your lips in a firm line. You untangle your hands from his and cross your arms in front of your chest. It’s true, but hearing Chan say it hits too close to home.
“And you treated me any better?”
Chan takes in your closed off body language and a silence falls over you. Neither of you want this bubble you’re in to burst yet. Perhaps he’s regretting saying any of this at all.
“The day you showed up at our house…” he speaks up again after a while, “I felt sick to my stomach, y/n. Like the universe was playing some sick fucking joke on me.”
He places his hands on your thighs, squeezing and rubbing them.
“When it came time to choose assignees, I couldn’t let you end up with anyone else. I’ve never pulled rank like that before as the chapter president, but with you I had to…and I knew Hyunjin would be good for you, too.”
You shake your head in disbelief.
The day in the hot tub creeps back into your mind. When you told Chan that your time with Hyunjin had been great and he replied with ‘I know. I’m glad’. You didn’t fully understand it then. Now, it’s as if Chan knew the emotional rollercoaster he was going to send you on and wanted to make sure you had a harness. Hyunjin.
You let out a low breath and place your hands on top of your head, locking your fingers together. This is a lot to take in.
“So, your plan was to selfishly claim me and treat me like shit?” You ask after a moment.
“I wouldn’t call it a plan,” he says in a sad tone. “I knew that I was attracted to you and after our first few nights together I had to do something to keep boundaries in place.”
The conversation you shared on the beach clarified his drive for the spankings and edging. You understand his reasonings. You know that his sexual desires and fantasies with you are kept separate from his emotional connection to you. However, it’s confusing and frustrating to know he clearly felt something for you prior to you joining the SKZ House and still kept that brick wall firmly in place between you.  
“So, you wanted to fuck me and still treat me like shit then?” You can’t help the bitter edge to your tone.
“I didn’t wanna get to close—clearly I’ve failed,” he admits. “It’s just always been in the back of my mind how long I’ve wanted you and now that I get to have you, there’s an expiration date.”
“What happens when we get back? You start treating me like that again?”
He averts his gaze from you.
“I don’t know how to—” he stops abruptly and shakes his head.
“Chan,” you say softly, reaching out to turn his head back to face you. “Please.”
“I don’t know how to be with you and be genuinely happy in this fucked up situation, y/n. I’m not gonna want it to end…but it has to.”
You sigh, resting your hands on his chest. As much as it hurts to admit, he’s right. You don’t like the thought of having to leave either of them. With Hyunjin, though, you know he will move on with ease which makes losing him slightly easier. Chan, on the other hand, after all the ground you’ve broken, the progress you’ve made…having to throw it all away will be hard. On both of you, you’re coming to realize.
But how else could you have gotten to know him? If you hadn’t shown up at the SKZ house, Chan would have once again had another assignee and not been able to interact with you anyways. Perhaps you both should at least be thankful for the time you’ve been given and enjoy it while you can.
“You can’t go back to being an asshole, Chan,” you tell him softly.
“I know.”
He grabs onto your hips and pulls you closer to him until you’re forced to lay against him. You rest your head on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around you, hugging you tightly. You stay like that for a while, the movie playing in the background but neither of you watching it. You want to remember this moment, how it feels to physically and mentally be this close to him.
An alarm suddenly goes off on his phone and Chan quickly silences it. He cups one hand around the back of your neck to guide your head up. His brown eyes bore into yours, still lingering in this shared moment. You hold his face in your hands, staring right back, not backing down. It’s not an intense stare…more like one of silent pleading and unspoken questions. You bring your face to his and place a chaste kiss on his lips.
“Wait here,” he says, kissing you once more before sliding you off his lap.
He disappears into the bedroom and when he comes back, heads straight for the Christmas tree. He places two wrapped boxes under it and you mentally kick yourself again. You hadn’t even wrapped his. Even so, you can’t hide the smile that takes over your face at the sight and the thought he must have put into this.
“Should I get yours?”
“So you did get me something?” he asks with a smirk.
“I did…but seeing that,” you say, pointing to the neatly wrapped presents under the tree, “I don’t even want to give it to you anymore.”
“It’s fine,” he says again. “I’ll wait until tomorrow. Come pick one.”
You stand from the couch and walk over to him and the tree. Both boxes are square in shape, one larger than the other. You deliberate for a moment before reaching for the larger one. You sit on the floor and pull it towards you, surprised by its weight. You look up at Chan and when he doesn’t move to join you, you pull on his hand until he sits.
“Did you wrap this yourself?”
“I asked the housekeeper to help me out with it,” he tells you.
“Resourceful.”
He taps his temple with his pointer finger.
You start ripping away the wrapping paper to reveal a white box beneath. You can’t hold back your smile as you pull the top part of the box off. You set it aside and pull out the tissue paper. When your eyes land on what’s inside, your mouth drops.
A folded, white lab coat with your last name embroidered across the breast area sits on top. You reach out and run a finger across the stitching. It feels surreal to see.
“I figured you’d need it when you go off to vet school.”
You look up at him, still smiling. You will definitely need it. Along with several other items you were already wondering how you would afford, without having to ask your parents for even more money. That’s part of the reason you ultimately decided to join the SKZ house and save the money they were sending you. At least the majority of it would go towards the next steps in your education.
“Thank you, Chan.”
It’s a thoughtful gift. And you feel the guilt of your shitty gift building.
“There’s more…” he nods towards the box.
And the guilt continues.
You lift the lab coat out of the box and gently set it outside the box. The next item is a set of black scrubs, your name embroidered on the shirt as well. You left them out of the box and sit them on top of the lab coat. When your eyes land on the item at the bottom of the box, your jaw drops again.
You reach inside the box and retrieve the stethoscope. This was one of the pricier items you hadn’t been looking forward to purchasing. You bring it closer to inspect, smiling widely. You immediately recognize it as one of the more expensive brands. It, too, is engraved with your name around it.
You feel your eyes begin to prickle and you blink furiously, not wanting to cry, but you can’t help it. It’s a thoughtful gift. One that you’ll get to take with you when the year is over. A reminder of Chan you get to keep with you forever.
You slowly raise your eyes to look at him, shaking your head softly.
“You don’t like it?” he asks, “Is it not the right kind? I wasn’t really sure…”
“It is—it is,” you say, your voice cracking. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand and clear your throat. “It’s perfect. It’s all perfect, Chan. Thank you.”
“Wanna test it out?”
Your smile returns at that and you nod, placing the ear tubes in your ears and sliding closer to him. He pulls you onto his lap once again, putting your legs on either side of him, your butt resting on his folded legs.
You grab the bell end of the stethoscope with one hand and pull at the hem of his t-shirt with the other, lifting it up. You then place the diaphragm end to his chest and he instantly moves back, grabbing your wrist.
“That’s cold doc,” he says, voice muffled and rumbling through the ear piece.
“Sorry, I’m a rookie,” you reply sheepishly.
You bring the diaphragm end to your mouth and breathe on it to warm it up before placing it back over his heart. The digital reader immediately lights up, reading his heart rate. But you’re not focused on it. You’re looking directly into his eyes, listening to the strong, steady beat of his heart. It’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard.
“Sounding healthy?” he asks.
You nod.
“Well, we should make sure the reading is accurate, too.”
He cups the back of your neck and pulls your face closer, bringing your lips to his. With his other hand, he holds your wrist and the stethoscope in place. You can hear his heartbeat quicken as you kiss. You grind your hips against his, causing the steady thumping in your ear to beat faster. You want to get lost in the sound of his body’s reaction to you.
He uses his hand on your back to assist your grinding, making sure you can also feel his body’s reaction to you.  
Not wanting to jeopardize the safety of your present, you break the kiss and pull the ear tubes out. His hand drops from your wrist allowing you to turn and set the stethoscope neatly on top of the pile of the other presents behind you.
Before you can even turn back around, Chan is changing your position. He holds onto your back tightly as he lowers you down to the floor.
“I won’t write a negative review just yet—but you’ve got some learning to do, doc.”
You like to hear him call you that.
“I’m a fast learner,” you reply.
“Oh, I know,” he says with a wink.
He remains sitting in front of you, his legs still crossed, while you’re lying down. Your legs are draped over his thighs, feet on the ground on either side of him. He pushes your shirt up to expose your stomach and lightly runs his fingers in a zig-zag pattern all the way down until his hand is between your legs. The thin, pajama shorts you’re wearing are a loose fit and don’t do much to keep him out. Not that you’d want that.
He easily moves the fabric aside and his eyes snap to yours when he realizes you aren’t wearing any underwear.
“I only packed so many for the trip,” you laugh and shrug. “I can’t keep messing them up with you.”
He smirks and nods his agreement.
He slides his fingers up and down your slit, teasing your pussy until his fingers become saturated with your slick. He slowly inserts his ring and middle finger inside of you as he places his other palm on your lower stomach. You rock your hips against him in response. He curls his fingers, pressing against your inner walls each time he withdraws his hand, all the while applying steady pressure with his palm.
You can really feel his fingers rubbing against you, and you know he can too. His eyes are on his fingers pumping in and out of your pussy, then move up to your writhing body, then your face. A soft smile plays out on his lips as he watches your reaction. He adds his thumb on your clit into the mix and you let out a moan.
“Tell me what you want,” he coaxes.
You bite your lip between your teeth, arching your back. You’re too caught up in the sensations to formulate a response.
“You wanna come on my fingers?” he asks, slowing them down. “Or on my cock?”
You moan again.
“Both.”
“Greedy,” he says with a soft chuckle, still moving his fingers in and out at an achingly slow pace.
“Mmmm, yes. For you.”
Any part of him you can have.
He moves his fingers quicker, thumb still circling your clit. You sit up a little, placing your hands behind you to hold you up as you move your hips against his fingers.
He arches an eyebrow at this, a devilish smirk on his lips. He withdraws his fingers, and you protest with a whine and pout. He brings his fingers, coated in your slick, to your face and spreads it around your pouted lips. He watches closely as you lick your lips, then brings his hand to his mouth, sucking off the rest for himself.
The sight of him enjoying your taste always sends you off the rails. You grab a handful of his shirt and pull him to you until his lips are on yours. He seems a little startled, but he allows it. You kiss him, taste him, taste you.
Before you can have too much, he breaks the kiss but keeps his face against yours.
“I want you to open your other present now,” he says, lips brushing against yours as he speaks.
“Not in the morning?” you ask, catching your breath.
“No,” he says with a shake of his head. “I wanna see it on you now.”
He stretches to the side to retrieve the present and you wrap your arms around his waist to keep from falling back. He grabs it and returns to his upright position before handing it to you.
You take the present and rip the wrapping paper, much less delicately than you did the first. What could this be? He wants to see it on you? You’re excited to find out. You toss all bits of the paper behind you without a care until just the box is left. You lift the lid from the box and inside is what appears to be…a collar?
You look up to Chan with an arched brow and he just smiles widely, baring all his pearly white teeth. The part of the collar that rests on the back of the neck is black, with a belt buckle-like fastener. On the front is a thick, silver linked chain (much like the one he wears on his wrist) with a silver heart hanging from it. The heart itself has several tiny jewels spread evenly around it. The way they glitter in the light, you hope its cubic zirconia…but knowing how deep Chan’s pockets go, they might just be diamonds. You bring the heart closer for inspection and see the words 'Good Girl' engraved on it.
You’re not sure what to make of it. Both the cost, the phrase and the gift itself. He wants you to wear this? Like a dog?
He takes it out of the box and drapes it around your neck, moving your hair out of the way so he can fasten it in the back. You look up at him as he hooks a finger through the heart and tugs on it. Pulling, pulling, restricting until it’s taught against your throat.
Oh. Oh.  
“This okay?” he asks.
You appreciate that he’s asking. You’re convinced you’d let him walk you through the street with it, so long as he asks first.
You close the distance between you, placing your lips on his to convey your consent. He tugs a little tighter on the collar as you kiss before releasing it fully.
In the next moment, your hands are on his shoulders, pushing on them until his back is now against the floor. He doesn’t resist at all.
You reposition yourself comfortably on top of him. You put your hands on his biceps, squeezing them tightly before sliding up his arms to his hands. You move them up above his head then lace your fingers between his, holding them in place as you kiss him. You grind your hips into his and he lets out a moan. You feel his hardening cock pressed between your legs. You grind against it more, sliding your clit along his length. Your kisses become quicker, sloppier, as you keep grinding on him.
He tries to move his hands, but you squeeze them tighter. He lets out a grunt and uses more force to break free—reminding you that he was allowing you to keep them there. He sits up and wraps one arm around you, pulling you close as he starts to stand up. You wrap your arms around his neck, legs around his waist. He walks you both back over to the couch.
He unhooks your legs and lowers you so you’re standing in front of him. He leans down and claims your lips again, but you want him undressed. You reach for the hem of his shirt and start pulling it up. You break the kiss to get it completely off his head and before he can kiss you again, you push him onto the couch.
You lift your shirt above your head and as you’re reaching back to unhook your bra, you give a pointed look to his sweatpants. He lifts his hips from the couch and pushes them down.
“Does it look good?” you ask, running your fingers along the collar as you kneel in front of him.
He licks his lips in anticipation, “Better than I imagined.”
You reach for his hand and bring it to the collar. He tugs on the heart again, tightening it around your neck. He wraps his other hand around the base of his cock and pulls you towards it. You drop your jaw and take him in your mouth.
He sucks in a breath, watching you lower your mouth on him. He releases the collar and leans back into the couch. You replace your hand with his at the base, stroking his dick as you bob your head up and down.
You alternate between stroking, sucking, taking it out and smacking it against your lips. He moans and groans, body jerking in response to your actions. You love seeing him like this.
You take him out of you mouth fully and continue stroking him, moving your mouth instead to take each of his balls in your mouth, in turn. You glance up to his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he lets out a deep breath.
“So,” you say, returning your attention to his cock, licking slowly around the tip. “You wanna come in my mouth or in my pussy?”
He looks down at you, only able to smile and shake his head at your use of his same words against him. He leans forward and grabs the heart of the collar once more, using it to pull you to him.
“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” he asks, kissing along your lips.
You giggle and nod playfully in response.
He leans back, pulling on the collar to bring you with him until you’re forced to stand again. His other hand slips between your legs and he rubs your pussy with his fingers.
“I wanna fill you up here.”
You moan against his lips, and he releases the collar. He lightly pushes against your chest, so you stand fully then motions to your shorts. You turn around, bend over and pull them down. You move to straighten yourself, but he lurches forward to stop you.
He puts a hand on your back to keep you bent over. In the next instant you feel his other hand collide with your ass and you let out a surprised yelp. He rubs the wounded area on the right and brings his mouth to the left cheek, placing a wet kiss to it. You feel his teeth dig into your skin, causing you to gasp. He smacks the right cheek again.
He shifts his mouth to the surely reddening cheek, placing another wet kiss there. It soothes the stinging a bit. He slaps the left check, his palm gripping your ass when it lands. He then immediately slides his fingers between your legs, slipping along your wet slit until they find your opening. He pushes his fingers inside, you don’t even know how many, but it makes you feel full.
“Mmmm,” you moan, pushing back against him.
“You’re dripping for me,” he says, lacing kisses along each cheek.
“Always,” you reply. And it’s the truth.
He takes his fingers out of you and places both hands on your waist, guiding you down to him. He positions himself at your opening and you roll your head back as he slowly lowers you on his cock. You remain still when he’s fully inserted, just basking in the feel of him inside you.
You make small movements with your hips first, moving forwards and backwards.
“Fuck,” he exhales, gripping your hips tighter.
You like the way he sounds when you’re pleasing him.
You plant your feet firmly on the ground, your hands on his knees. You start to move up and down, bouncing on him and drawing more delicious groans from him.
He uses his hands on your waist to lift you higher and bring you down even harder. You cup your breasts, pinching your nipples to add to the pleasure you’re feeling. You don’t know if you’ll ever get tired of his cock filling you up. Though, you won’t exactly have the opportunity to find out.
You try to push the thought aside, but you can feel it distracting you.
Chan notices as your rhythm becomes out of sync with his. He pulls you all the way down against him, then slides his hand up your stomach, between your breasts, all the way to your neck. He covers the collar with his hand and pulls you back against his chest. You keep circling your hips on him, not wanting to lose the momentum.
“You okay?” he asks softly in your ear.
“Yeah,” you reply, but it’s a lie. “I want to see you.”
He repositions both of you so you’re lying fully on the couch and he’s on top of you. He guides one of your knees up and hooks your leg over his shoulder as he enters you again.
“Like this?”
You offer a silent nod, sliding your hands up his bare, chiseled chest, locking your fingers together behind his neck.
He starts moving again and you feel him sliding in and out, and you find yourself unable to tear your gaze from his face. His eyes are locked on you too. This feels heavy, but neither of you comment on it. He turns his head to the side to place a kiss to the leg that’s slung over his shoulder, eyes never leaving yours.
Your hands leave his neck to roam through his hair, over his face, touching every part of him you can to commit to memory. You shift your mental focus to the way he feels, beneath your fingertips, his cock inside of you.
You want the Chan you’ve had for the past week for the rest of the time you have him. Open. Earnest. You try to convey this with your eyes as he continues thrusting in and out. He grabs your breast, squeezing it tightly and you part your lips and arch your back in response.
You don’t know if you’ll survive if he goes back to treating you like you don’t matter. You can’t let him do that to you. Can you?
“I know, I know,” he says in response to your unspoken qualms. He kisses your leg once more before releasing it to lay his body flat against yours. He wraps his arms around your head in a hug of sorts, as he continues his deep and steady strokes.
Chan isn’t fucking you tonight. He’s making love to you.
You slide one hand down to where the two of you are joined, finding your clit. He lifts slightly, allowing you more room to rub circles around it.
“Come on my cock, baby,” he commands.
You whimper at his words. Baby.
You rub your clit faster as he picks up the pace of his thrusts, still driving into you as deep as he can. He angles himself so that with each thrust his dick digs against your walls. It’s enough to drive you crazy. You’re whining, moaning, panting.
“Come for me,” he says again. “Come for me baby girl.”
Your hand on his chest goes for his throat. You squeeze your fingers around it and see his eyes darken, but he doesn’t stop you. He moves his hips faster, harder.
“Chan,” you pant, “please. Right there. Don’t stop.”
And he doesn’t.
He keeps the same pace, same angle, same motions until you’re arching your back and squeezing his neck, digging your nails into his delicate skin as you come around his cock. He grits his teeth, grunting and pounding into you furiously as he comes right after.
His movements slow as he finishes. You release his neck and wrap your arms around it instead. He lowers himself on top of you, all but smothering you with his weight but you don’t care. This is a happy way to die, if it comes to that.
You kiss along his collar bone as you both catch your breath. His cock keeps twitching inside of you and you clench the walls of your pussy around him each time it does. His body jerks each time you do it.
“Stop, stop,” he pleads, chuckling softly.
You chuckle in response.
That was different. In ways you hadn’t imagined possible with Chan. The two of you stay on the couch, wrapped up in each other for a while longer.  
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The following morning, you’re both woken up by a knock at the door. Chan, just as confused as you, climbs out of bed to answer it. You hear him talking to someone and he returns a few moments later.
“Another Minho surprise,” he tells you. “A couples massage.”
“That actually sounds amazing,” you murmur, pushing off the blankets.
You both go to the bathroom and brush your teeth. You put your hair up in a messy bun then go to the living room while Chan lets in the masseuses. There’s one male and one female. After setting up their massage tables in the open space between the couch and the TV, they leave for the hallway allowing you both some privacy to remove your clothing.
Chan watches you undress with a sly smile on his face, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. You stick your tongue out at him and throw your pajama shirt at his face, but he dodges it and catches it in his hand. He folds it neatly and sets it on the couch before removing his own shirt.
When you’re both settled on the tables, they re-enter.
“You’re with me, sir,” you hear Chan say and lift your head.
He’s motioning for the male masseuse to come to him.
“I need firmer hands,” he adds.
But you know that’s not it. No other man outside of the SKZ House is allowed to touch you in the way the masseuse will need to. You know it’s because of that. But it still makes you feel warm inside to think Chan personally doesn’t want anyone else touching you.
After the massage, you and Chan shower together then order a late brunch. He opens his present that you are now extremely embarrassed to give him. When he pulls out the pair of neon blue swim trunks with “Miami Vice” written on it, you hide your face, and he immediately laughs.
“These are loud,” he says. “I’ll wear them to the beach tomorrow.”
Next, he pulls out a refrigerator magnet with “Miami” written across it with palm trees surrounding it.
“To be fair,” you say, wanting to explain, “I had no clue what to get you. You’re not exactly an open book.”
“That is fair,” he agrees. He looks at you with a soft smile, as if he wishes things had been different. He kisses your forehead. “Thank you anyways.”
You spend your final two days mostly relaxing and staying close to the hotel. You spend time at the beach again, Chan in his neon blue swim trunks and looking fucking delectable in them.
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Getting on the plane to go home, you’re hit with an overwhelming sense of sadness. Chan’s behavior hasn’t changed yet, and you’re praying that it doesn’t. That even though you both know how this has to end; he can find it within himself to not push you out again. You lean on him and hold his hand for most of the flight back.
Changbin picks you up from the airport and Chan rides up front while you sit in the back. He asks how the trip was and you both reply that it was good. He then addresses Chan in Korean and you’re left clueless in the back seat. But whatever is said, you can feel the weight of it from Chan’s reaction. He leans back in his seat, slouches, and runs his hand through his hair.
You try not to think much of it, but it must be important. They don’t typically speak Korean in front of any of the assignees unless it’s about something that, to be frank, is none of their business.
The car ride is over far too soon, and they still haven’t filled you in on what’s happening.
Once in the driveway, you notice a black car parked in front of the house with a Rolls Royce emblem on the front. You immediately furrow your brow, curiosity and anxiety spiking through the roof at this point.
Changbin exits the car first. You remain planted in the backseat, waiting for Chan to say or explain anything.
He lets out a low breath and leans back against the headrest, eyes closed.
“My dad’s here,” he announces.
Your eyes open wide, and even more confusion sets in. Is it an unexpected visit? Is he not happy to see his father?
“You don’t want him to be?” you ask slowly, carefully.
“Well, it’s never exactly a cause for celebration when any of our parents show up,” he says dryly. “Just…stay out of his way.”
Chan opens his door and you follow in suit.
Changbin has pulled the luggage from the trunk, he’s holding the handle to yours and Chan grabs his own. You move to walk past them both, but Chan grabs your arm to stop you.
You turn to face him, trying to read his expression but a mask is in place.
“Chan,” you say, placing a hand to his chest.
A glint, a flicker of something crosses over his eyes and you see your Chan for a split second.
He kisses your forehead.
“After us. And then straight upstairs, okay?” he says softly.
You nod your head and wait for them to walk to the door first.
As soon as you enter the house, you can feel the commanding presence of his father. Your eyes are drawn straight to him on the living room couch, looking all business in a tailored black suit, black hair slicked back.
“Appa.” Chan says.
“Hello,” you say politely with a small bow at the waist.
You know he told you to go straight upstairs, but it would feel rude to pass by without speaking to him.
His father spares half a glance at you before staring daggers at his son.
Changbin heads for the stairs with your suitcase and you follow him. You look back at Chan and offer as encouraging a smile as you can muster. Chan doesn’t turn to look at you. He walks towards his father like a man heading to the gallows and the sight of him like that punctures your already fragile heart.
[ read chapter 20 here ]
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a/n: oof. thoughts? feelings? a lot to unpack here. thank you all again for your patience! and sorry the tags still aren't working :(
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