#bart the gulpin

[realpokemon]

happy birthday to me

[turboclown]

Today’s warm-up is; BART Satin Pillows For The Prince Of All Things @realpokemon

[realpokelypse]

rodney meng -- 5

“Sohan Tewari. I know you from online. I think I’m in love with you. Will you marry me? Let’s run away together.”

…

You stand there, staring at him, eyes squinted and jaw slack. You say the only words you could possibly muster.

“Get out of my house.”

“Huh?”

Jesus fucking Arceus, what? His words are starting to catch up to you. You thought this whole encounter might be something along those lines, possibly, in some universe, but not so upfront. Not “will you marry me.” Good fucking lord. His face is etched with confusion, like he had not even realized that something was wrong until this very second. “Nope, nope, get out of my house. How the fuck did you get here?”

“Zoe let me—”

You interrupt him. “Just kidding. I don’t care. Get out of my house.” What the fuck. You can’t even tell what expression you’re making. Something baffled. Frustrated. A little flattered? No, shut up.

“Please, just— just hear me out! I have this whole speech…”

You take a step towards him. “…You had a speech and that’s what you opened with?” It’s hard to look menacing when you’re so confused. “Get out of my house.” You start to push him out physically.

He holds his hands up in front of him, defensive. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” he sputters.

You open the door behind him. He steps backwards onto the welcome mat.

“Can I come back later?”

“Leave before I call the cops.” You click the door shut. He’s gone from your sight. You don’t take your hand off the handle.

It was an empty threat. You and he probably both know that the Jennies are largely a farce. They can’t even fight cultists or underground crime organizations better than the average middle schooler.

Fuck, are you going to have to find a way to lock your door? That's embarrassing. You lean your back against the door, sliding to the floor. You're going to need to find something to barricade it with. Possibly. You don't know if he's still out there.

You glance around the living room-slash-entrance. There's your mock-set of keys hanging from a hook on the wall. (They're just for fun). There's a little folding chair by the couch, that's a good idea. There's Zoe in her room... but you're kind of upset with her right now, actually. Bart, your Gulpin, is asleep in the corner of the room. He looks a little bit like a bean bag when he's not awake.

[notwerewolf]

Bart on head (not sitting on head but consuming the head because he is all mouth)

realpokemon slept in 15 minutes AFTER BREAKFAST.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[trolley-problem-polls]

@realpokemon has been caught in the Trolley Problem

Barreling down the tracks is a runaway trolley. The trolley is heading directly for Bart the Gulpin and a random Salamence who are tied to the track. On an adjacent track is realpokemon. As a bystander you have the following options:

Flicking the lever, diverting the trolley onto the second track killing realpokemon

Doing nothing, causing the trolley to kill Bart the Gulpin and a random Salamence

Submission by @mothwingedmyths

[poison-type-trainer]

Shout out to @realpokemon for raising an A+ Gulpin!

Bart is a good boy.

[incorrect-pkmn-irl-quotes]

Rodney: Motostoke is the capital of Galar, but Wyndon is the largest city in the region.

Teak: Stop talking about states.

Bart the Gulpin: Do you wanna go to Applebeedrils?

Rodney: Sure, hang on.

Rodney, to Teak: Fuck you.

( @realpokemon, @pokeology)

[local-ragamuffin]

Yes I’ve had the Pokémon anime playing in the background all day and I blink and suddenly Team Rocket has a Gulpin infestation and my mind immediately goes to Bart the Gulpin from the Pokémon irl blog

I just… I love Gulpin so much. Round little buddy with a goofy Y A W N

[realpokemon]

Happy birthday Bart!!! I hope you're giving the special boy a special treat on his special day!

bart enjoying his birthday pokéccino at the local sawsbucks

[grandmasickomode]

ok so I wanted to do something like @unmecha's oc pages for their ocs so here we go.

PAULINUS

TYPES: Poison and Dark predominantly but will keep any Mon that suits her fancy

CENTRAL STRATEGY: Depends on the upcoming fight but mostly focuses on disrupting existing strategies by any means.

ALLIGNMENT: Royale

Paulinus TECHNICALLY isnt a Pokemon Empire oc, shes from the Lobotomy corporation universe but im not gonna make a brand new oc for these games.

Paulinus is wrapped up with the royal family in ways she's willing to disclose... not that you can tell if she's lying. She will say shes an illegitimate heir one day, then say her family has worked with the royal family for generations.

The fact remains that Paulinus has internalized her role in the royal family's lives as the unofficial Official Black Ops unit and Evil (tm) Advisor to the crown. She's more than willing to step over the line if it means that the Royal family is put back where they belong. She personally will put the council's heads in pikes if she has to, and stand there and take the blame.

Ultimately, she isnt a total barbarian. Paulinus is a calm, supposedly unflappable young woman, who does her research. She doesnt like going in unprepared, and will always want at least SOME modicum of knowledge relating to what lies ahead before she takes a step forward.

While she seems charming and amicable, she also is not here to make friends. After all, friends are jettisoned once shit hits the fan, and she would prefer not to deal with the emotional fallout and ties. Unfortunately, life happens so the few people she marks as 'friends', she will personally move heaven and hell to make happy. Even if it conflicts with her morals, she rationalizes that its all part of the plan, that she can use this opportunity later. That they will owe her for this and that they will need to do things for her to repay their debt.

In Empire, the game gives you two childhood friends. Pauli likes neither of them and tolerates them for the sake of appearances. Well, with Alanah at least. Alanah is a good link to the Council's movements and rumblings, and North is... in Pauli's words, 'a simpering barking little Council pet who would lick their boots to feel some sort of satsifaction with his life." She DESPISES North and once he stops being useful, he's going to be stabbed in the back and burned to ashes.

And yet, she cannot help but have a fondness for Jeanne, @unmecha's oc.

Her non-Council, non-Royale mindset are 'adorable', and she would gladly assist her in her many endeavors... for favors, of course. She thinks that she's simply misguided, that her talents might do better on a more refined side. She also adores Jeanne to piss Taylor off, and doesnt hesitate to sneer and comment on everything taylor does. Never in a rude tone,just rude enough that the message gets across.

Pauli's battle strategies are what she calls 'run and gun', meaning she will generally opt for the typical strategies one uses in a pokemon game (stats up, baton pass, sweep, or hazards abd whirlwind strats). She also will use any strategy in order to handle whatever is in front of her, be they gym challenges or rivals. However, if she can get away with it, she prefers to deal with slow debilitating statuses, as well as changing pokemons type to remove stab, and expose them to adverse hazards.

Hwr naming schemes tend to be old timey names, usually inspired by greek or roman naming schemes. But she cannot help but get lazy naming her mons if she catches them at a late hour. Such examples include Euripedes (Poison/ice Boreaptor), Antigonus (Fire/Dragon Chemera) and Bart (Gulpin).

[realpokemon]

Where did you get Bart and Creampuff?

i picked up bart (my gulpin) because he was the last pokémon in the shelter that didn’t get adopted for the holiday season and i felt bad

the shelgon kind of just showed up on my doorstep in an unmarked cardboard box. now she lives under my nightstand.

[realpokemon]

i love ur gulpin. can i see more of that whimsy creature

bart fancam

[realpokemon]

group photo

[realpokemon]

sneef sneef

[realpokemon]

how's bart handling the whole creampuff situation?

he's had a suspiciously poor appetite as of late. i'm pretty worried for the guy, likely a stress response. he's still eating in general (it's kind of what gulpins do) but it should tide over soon