#barty and dorcas are little shits

[immortalbutterflycos]

Marauders Era Characters and how I think they feel about cheese:

(basically I'm eating cheese and crackers rn so the characters get to have opinions too~)

James: My boy loves cheese. All of it. He isn't picky in any sense of the word, but he does favor the harder cheeses like cheddar.

Peter: He doesn't like cheese, contrary to 'popular' belief. Just because he can turn into a rat, James does not mean that he has to like cheese! (I think that Sirius also backs up James on this and it drives Peter insane)

Remus: He doesn't go out of his way to eat it, but he doesn't not like cheese. He's mostly indifferent when it comes to cheese and he doesn't care enough to learn any of the more obscure names.

Sirius: He knows all of the names because of his upbringing and he likes cheese, but if you go anywhere near him with Bleu Cheese, he'll throw that across the room. (coming from someone who loves bleu cheese, this pains me but I cannot see him going anywhere near it)

Regulus: He's a cheese connoisseur. He, like Sirius, knows all of the names but he even knows some that Sirius doesn't. Regulus can put together a fucking immaculate charcuterie board and knows exactly what wines should be paired with each one.

Barty: He's alright with cheese. Kind of impartial like Remus. But He will always be the first one to bring bleu cheese to any event that Sirius attends because he wants to see how far he can launch it. The record so far is only about halfway across the quidditch pitch, but Barty's goal is to see it go the width of the Lake.

Pandora: She really likes cheese! I think that she and Regulus probably have conversations about it sometimes and Barty and Evan just kind of have to tune them out when they get into it.

Evan: He doesn't like cheese all that much. Like, if it's on something, he'll eat it, but he'd prefer it if it wasn't there at all.

Dorcas: Meh. Cheese is cheese. She doesn't really see what the big deal about it is. She likes to bring cans of that squirtable cheese to events and put it next to Regulus' Charcuterie board. His reaction is far more violent than Sirius', usually involving fire, and he still doesn't know that she's the one who has been doing it. But she loves watching Barty get yelled at in her stead.

[yourgalgremlin]

How the Slytherlin Groupchat Reacted to Pandora’s New Boyfriend’s Name:

Pandora: Can I bring Xenophilius? <3

Evan: idgaf wut it is as long as we can smoke it

Regulus: I’d say “bless you” but I’m certain whatever’s possessing you would object.

Barty: Is this a wizard? Or some magical woodland creature?

Dorcas: I’m Xeno-feelin’-it.

[not-rab]

headcanon that dorcas had a muggle mother, but it wasn’t clear whether her father was magic or not, since he had ran off when he found out that he got a woman pregnant

headcanon that dorcas didn’t know if she was a muggleborn or not, resulting in a lot of bullying from the slytherin house

headcanon that regulus, evan and barty were the only people ready to befriend her because, though all of their parents had strong views on blood supremacy, they couldn’t care less

so headcanon that when dorcas left the three to join the order, regulus, evan and barty felt the most betrayed because they had stuck around when no-one else would dare go up to her without the hexes and curses

and headcanon that when it was finally time for them to go up against each other in duel, regulus, evan and barty couldn’t strike first because they took a vow to never be the one who cursed the muggleborn/half-blood/whatever dorcas meadowes

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Barty, looking at Regulus with disgust: you have been tamed

Regulus: *cuddled with a deeply asleep James Potter in his bed:*

Regulus: Shut up now.

Evan: No, no, he’s right. You have been… Domesticated.

Pandora: I think it’s cute

Dorcas *teasingly*: Cute little Reggie

Regulus *pulls out a knife from beneath his pillow*: Do I need to ask again?

Barty:

Pandora:

Evan:

Dorcas:

Barty: Is that knife from a Kink of yours?

Regulus:*RAGE*

[breeistired]

Am i the only one who thinks Effie would be the energetic one

I see Monty as more calm, happy, likes tea.

Effie is more of a fire spirit, starts fires, and would most definitely scream and punch a wall when her team doesn’t win at quidditch.

Monty’s favorite children would be: Remus, Regulus, Evan, Pandora, and Mary

While Effie’s favorite child would be: Sirius, Barty, Marlene, Lily, Dorcas, and James.

Effie has a soft side for all her children though.

But they all prefer the side that teaches them where the secret places are in hogwarts so they can escape while doing a prank.

Monty is over here sighing and being in love with her

(She’s playing arrow roulette where she shoots an arrow up from the sky and you have to run before it hits you on its way back down. (Yes this is from grownups the movie))

[ifyouknowmenahyoudontt]

the marauders fandom is the PERFECT exemple of performative activism.

yall make such a strong point about sexuality thinking it’s doing something while completely erasing the characters personality.

i don’t CARE that regulus black is gay in your eyes what matters is that HE WAS A PUREBLOOD SUPREMACIST. you use sexuality as a shield in a way that’s so counterproductive.

the point of all of this was to make barely existent characters deeper and more complex but it went off to make everyone dumbed down stereotypical version of barely themselves.

we all hate jkr right? but some of you go around erasing the only political aspect of the books for the sake of your little fetishized gay twink story.

you think you are so different from the rest of hp fans because you make characters gay but you ignore the racial and gender stereotypes aspects of everything. as a woman and a NON WHITE woman hearing people talking about their favourite ships and characters is WILD.

all of you put such an importance on being respectful to peoples opinions but only when it comes to sexuality. the moment someone criticizes your love for canonically racist little assholes that did so much damage instead of deepening characters that ARE CANONICALLY WHAT YOU MAKE FANON INTO you freak out and call them names.

the fight for the LGBTQ+ community is not singular. it goes hand in hand with many other fights like for racial equality and gender equality.

before you comment “ LeT pEOplE liVe” or “ In My HeadCaNonS theYre nOT liKE THAT” i don’t care about the me.me.me speech

i care about what you make popular. what had taken over the fandom and what is being seen by the younger audience that you make seem as normal

[fae-whispers]

Barty: How did none of you hear what I just said?!  Evan: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours Dorcas: I got distracted halfway through Regulus: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[actuallyitskal]

i really love the idea of regulus black faking his death.

regulus who was too smart to think voldemort made only one horcrux. who knew the only way to find and destroy all of them was to disappear.

so he makes everbody, including james and his brother, believe that he's dead.

he goes to that cave, steals the lock and gives it to pandora. her and dorcas work on destroyjng it, while barty and evan keep playing deatheaters as a way to keep voldemort busy. regulus focuses on finding rest of horcruxes.

when the girls succeed and find the right way to destroy the locket, he has already located all of them. obviously harry still doesn't exist, so it's not so tricky anymore.

they destroy all of them, and then regulus comes back to fight voldy.

exept once again, he's not stupid. he has two kings man by his side, and shitlot of potion making skills.

voldy dies from a poison, even tho it looks like regulus killed him in a fair fight.

reg becomes a hero, all of his friends live, he makes up with his brother and lily has enough time to figure out that she's a lesbian.

jegulus reconnect, marylily happens, everybody's alive, harry has four parents.

everybody is happy, second wizard war never happened.

[regulus-smith]

"Nice one, James!"

Only Harry Potter fans will get this😔😔😔😔

[marauderswhore4]

Unofficial Conversations the Marauders have definitely had:

Regulus: I mean, two people can be right at the same time, but I'm always more right than them.

[lilyofthevalleyys]

Regulus: Alright listen up bitches, who broke the coffee machine??

Evan: It wasn’t me

Pandora: I don’t even drink coffee

Dorcas: It was Barty

Barty: It was Dorcas

Dorcas: IT WAS NOT ME YOU INSOLENT PIECE OF SHIT

Barty: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S ALWAYS MAD WHENEVER THE MACHINE DOESN’T WORK

Dorcas: YOU MOTHERFUCKER-

*Fighting ensues*

— Thirty minutes before —

Regulus: *Walks into kitchen. Switches on the coffee machine* Why does it not work- *hits the machine and it literally stops functioning*

Regulus: Oh. Fuck.

[yourgalgremlin]

Headcanon:

Regulus’ animagus form is a black serval cat (medium-sized wild cat with long legs, big ears, & a cunty resting bitch face.) The Slytherins call him “Grim” because he looked like:

A “pocket sized Grim” (big black spectral dog & omen of death) - Evan

“If the Grim Reaper had a cat” - Barty

🔝Look @ the serval cat’s cunty lil face! That’s RAB’s RBF, 100%. It’s giving “aloof, cold, judgey rich kid” vibes.

[valoflunar]

If regulus took the skittles ice skating Evan and pandora would get the hang of it right away and would skate peacefully with reg, Dorcas would swear multiple times at her skates and then give up trying and Barty slips so much that he might have frostbite on his ass but gets the hang of it 30 minutes before they leave the rink

[shootingthe-stars]

chapter 55 of nowhere man is out!

goodbye third year you were so good to me and so bad for everyone involved

chapter 55 or from the beginning!

[nikolai-alexi]

Regulus: be the bigger person??

Regulus: Be The Bigger Person?!?!?

Regulus: bitch I am 162cm on a good day that is physically impossible get fucked

[allmpa]

Dorlene and Rosekiller double date except it’s just Rosekiller taking the piss out of everything dorlene do for an hour before they storm out of the coffee shop