For the ask WIP: The Family Tree sounds interesting, can we know something about it?
[…] The table creaks under the pressure, and Bruce takes a deep breath to center himself.
It doesn’t help. His mind is running fifty miles a second, screaming at every instinct in his body to put on the suit on go hounding through the city for-
His son.
He has a son.
Blood family.
Another Wayne. […]
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Headcanon that Bruce’s kids have all pulled the ‘you're not my father card’ at some point or the other and by the time steph rolled around he didn't even take it seriously
Of course, the first time dick said it, bruce cried himself to sleep. But by the eighteenth time, he was numb to it. “Dickie just eat your peas.”
The first time jason did it Bruce pulled him aside and said “i know Im not, but that doesn't mean i don't care for you jason.” by the twenty fifth time he just held up the adoption papers
The first time Tim said it Bruce laughed. “Tim, you literally forced me to adopt you. Yes I am your father.” Tim didn't bother to say it from then on, maybe muttering ‘you're not my dad!’ under his breath at the computer, just for bruce to whisper ominously ‘yes i am.’
When Steph said it, full of anger and hate and sadness and fear, bruce just followed her and said “you're right. Im not your father. And i will never be your father. But, if you'll let me, id like to be better.” After that any time steph said ‘ur not my father’ bruce would just respond with ‘never will be’
Cass said “your are my father” and left no room for argument
Babs said “ur not my dad or my father or even close to being any of it, but you are my mom.” bruce just had to accept that
When damian said it bruce just stood there for a solid fifteen minutes rebooting. Dick and jason fell out of their chairs laughing.
Duke specifically went “ur my dad! My dad! Boogie woogie woogie!’ and bruce was just like ‘bet aight.”
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Scary boyfriend privilege? No. Scary sons privilege.
Bruce who can’t go anywhere without his newly adopted ward. He follows Bruce like a sunny shadow, grin always in place.
“Dick, can I hold your hand when we cross the street?”
Dick, very sweetly, “No.”
Bruce sighs, but accepts easily. Some guy scoffs at that and asks Bruce if he’ll let his kid just talk to him like that. His kid. His heart hurts in a very good way.
He’s about to say something, but Dick interrupts him, his teeth bared full, “Weren’t you on the news for hitting an old lady with your car?”
Bruce freezing. Dick goes back to his gameboy. They hold hands when they cross the street.
It’s both scary and comforting how little he changes when he’s an adult.
Jason, on the other hand.
Although he refuses to admit it, he does follow Bruce around, too, when his dad actually has to leave the manor. It’s when Alfred says he needs sun.
“You signed a contract, sir.”
Bruce sighing, “I signed it when I was 4. In black crayon. Those don’t count.”
Damian gasped, as if discovering a vile fact, sending an accusing glare Bruce’s way. “They don’t?”
Bruce needs an excuse to haul ass fast and that’s how Jason ends up chaperoning his socially awkward, disaster of a father in his quest to pick up food.
He’s a titanic presence next to Bruce, glaring off whoever stares a little too long or too appreciatively, strong arms crossed and his eyes hard and sharp.
Bruce gently taps his bicep and he hates the way he melts. “Do you want the chicken nuggets with or without apple slices?”
“Without.”
“Jay.”
“FINE.”
Give Jason his “he asked for No pickles” moment. It has to embarrass Bruce enough to jump in traffic, thought.
Damian has his own league and none of them can really compete with it. I think, during parent’s night, he drags Bruce off to proudly showcase his gallery of portraits.
Bruce is very moved when he realizes they’re almost all him.
There’s portraits of Dick, too, and Alfred, and a comically bad one of Tim. “Damian, they’re very beautiful. Thank you.”
“I painted them with the blood of your enemies.”
“…Thank you.”
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As Bruce grows older into his 50's or 60's the paparazzi and people crowding him becomes less and he thinks that people have finally decided that Bruce is too old to be attractive or mainstream and he's actually super fine with it and makes jokes( more like sarcastic remarks) about it. But in reality they've grown more freaky cause instead of looking wrinkly and a sappy old man the level of cunt he serves grows everyday,he doesn't look like a snack he looks like a buffet, 13 year olds are using his pics as the cover pages of their mafia wattpad stories, he looks majestic, absolute dilf, we don't talk about the amount of tags he's birthed just by ageing on ao3, and hes still an absolute UNIT, the reason he's not heard about it yet cause the batkids are blocking the shit OUT with all of their will and strength cause it doesn't matter if all of them are full grown adults they're still all like-THATSMYDADGETAWAYFROMHIMHEDOESN'THAVETIMEFORYOUHESBUSYBEINGOURDAD
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Damian walks up for the first time in his brand new school , his teacher by his side, he watches the other children playing. They run after each other and grab shoulders and arms.
"ADOPTED !" Yells one boy.
Quite suprised, Damian asks:
"What are they playing ?"
The teacher cringes hard but finds no good way to say it.
"Ehm....Bruce Wayne and the orphans...?"
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Bruce: Has anyone seen Jason and Damian?
Tim: That went out
Bruce: For what?
Dick: Something about Jason breaking a whetstone- don't ask- and Damian demanding he replace that
Bruce: We already have a whetstone for the batarang
Tim: Yeah, but Damian said and I quote "My katana was forged by greatest bladesmiths the League of Assassins has to offer, that cheap rock will not go anywhere near it"
Bruce: ...That does sound like Damian
Dick: Yep. So now we're just waiting on them
[5 minutes later]
Tim: [looks at his phone and starts laughing]
Tim: You guys are not gonna believe this
Dick: What?
[Shows a trending video of Jason walking across a parking lot with a bag in one hand and a screaming Damian under his arm, before noticing the camera and saying, "don't worry, he's mine I'm not stealing him." *pause* "if I was gonna take one, it definitely wouldn't be this asshole"]
Bruce: [tired sigh] Sadly, I can believe it...
Dick: Well, at least he got the whetstone
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