#batfam shenanigans

[strange-birb]

More secret band AU Timmy!🫦

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

I love how most of the batkids are fluent in multiple languages.

Think about all the fun.

Them talking five different languages in two sentences and everybody understanding it without problem.

Calling each other insults in a language they know the other person doesn't speak.

They have a conversation in a language that has informal and formal 'you' and they are addressing each other with the formal 'you' because they know it annoys the other person

[bibibusinessman]

[platitudinalteen]

A really random Batfamily HC I like to think about is Dick winning the Olympics a few years ago, never telling anyone, and all hell breaking loose when they find out.

Jason: You did not win gold in the Olympics.... Say sike, right now.

Dick: I'm not saying sike. I did win.

Tim: How? You're too famous, you'd be recognized!

Bruce: And more importantly, what about your secret identity?!

Dick: I wore a prosthetic nose, and entered under a fake name.

Stephanie: Do you have proof of that? And maybe a picture of that nose by any chance?

Dick: It was broadcast on television in over two hundred countries, I'm sure you could find it pretty easy.

Bruce: Back to the fake name-

Dick: It wasn't hard to make an alias, I just did what we do for undercover jobs.

Tim: You used my program without telling me!

Dick: I asked! You said I could.

Tim: I did? Ohhh...yeah, now that you mention it I think I vaguely remember you saying something about going to England and needing a new ID a few years ago.

Jason: You did all of that, just to...perform? Just...just because you wanted to?

Dick: ...Yeah, pretty much. I still have the medal sitting on a shelf in my apartment and a picture of me with some other competitors hanging on the wall.

Alfred: I for one, appreciated finally getting to see the Olympics from the front row. And in my own country, no less.

Bruce: What- what does that mean? Tell me you did not go with him to the Olympics...

Alfred: I was his accompaniment for the event. It was quite a good time.

Bruce: Dick...

Dick: What? He said he always wanted to go!

[avensartt]

Sorry the quality is shit

[mylifeingotham]

[nightwolf14292]

Bruce acts so emo all the time that I just can't help but enjoy the idea(/headcanon, I guess) of him secretly just being an old man dad- Like all of the villains go 'Omg it's Batman we're gonna get beat up' and Commissioner Gordon randomly thinks to himself while working late 'I bet Batman is doing super smart stuff like looking at case files or serving justice rn' but it turns out Bruce is just in the Batcave, very seriously talking to the Bat-Computer about the definition of slang like "Okay 'Puter, define 'Yeet' for me.."

Or he's up at 3AM scrolling through Tim's Tumblr blog looking for ways to connect with his child, but instead becomes mildly concerned when he sees Tim posted a pic five minutes ago of himself at Waffle House (He thought he was in his bedroom-?) with the caption 'Lmao just had a mental breakdown ✌'

Bruce: "So, Damian.. Have you 'rizzed up' any 'level ten gyatts' recently?"

Damian(Also doesn't know slang): "Father wtf"

Of course all of the Bat-Kids know this, and try to subtly introduce him to different memes because he always looks so proud of himself when he properly uses slang, he's like 'Heck yeah my kids are gonna think I'm cool'

[sepia-stained-sunset]

Duke, Jason, Damian and Cass who only knew Kon and Tim during their "I would burn down the world for you" era asking the rest of the family how Tim missed their obvious chemistry, how he's been oblivious to the person he's been in love with since the day they met.

Steph, Dick, Bruce, Alfred and Babs, who all got a taste of their initial Young Justice years where Tim was one second away from framing Kon for murder, just exchange amused looks.

[batfamilycannons]

Dick*the eldest daughter reaching a breaking point and it was this or manslaughter*: Due to my emotional trauma, I have decided I will be reverting back to my childhood Goblin lifestyle

Jason*always one for chaos*: Good for you

Bruce*traumatized from the first time not sure if he can survive a pt.2*: oh no

Tim*never left his Menace Lifestyle and is very exited to help cause more problems*: yay!

Bruce*even more scared*: oh no

[dc-and-damirae]

dick: Hey tim, how was your stake out with jason? tim: jason and I got into a fight, so he tied me up to a chair for six hours and made me watch that one hotel tv channel that’s about the hotel. dick: tim: One day, the Seabury Ritz Hotel will burn to the ground and I will dance on its damn ashes.

[ev-arrested]

A Damian twitter post for you all

Based on this tiktok.

[qcomicsy]

If the batkids had a podcast. Part. ll

Nightwing: When I was a child-

Redhood: Yeah-

Nightwing: I was filled with rage.

Redhood: (fucking crying from laugh)

Nightwing: I was- So fucking mad. I had like– 4'11 of pure anger and visceral violence.

Redhood: So you were like a mini Batman?

Nightwing (chuckling): Don't do this to me

Red Robin: Sorry- Sorry- (chuckling) Continue.

Nightwing: So- I was like- So, so fucking angry. And I told this lady- a nun–

Redhood: A nun.

Nightwing: Of course it was a nun- It's fucking Gotham. I told her how mad I was... And she- She puts her hand on my shoulder, right?

Red Robin: Right.

Nightwing: And she tells me– "Would that make the people who's gone happy?" "Would that bring them back? Would you like to take revenge on who has wronged you? Or save the people from going through the same?"

Red Robin: Damn.

Nightwing: Yeah.

Nightwing: And I just look at her. This mini ball of rage– And I just start fucking bawling–

Redhood (smacks the table): WHEZZE.

Nightwing: I just- (laughs)

Red Robin: That's how Robin was born? (laughs)

Nightwing: That's how Robin was born.

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[samthechaotic]

Tim: Whenever I face a horrible situation, I ask myself "what would Jason do?" and do the exact opposite.

Damian: For the first, and probably last, time in your life Drake, you're right.

[bibibusinessman]

[strange-birb]

I had too… I just had too

[cubbiekins]

Jason : Uhh, don’t know if you can tell but we’re surrounded!

Dick, grinning like a maniac : Great! We can attack in all directions.

Damian : *A little terrified but has a new found respect for Dick*

Tim : *Already beating the shit out of them*