#batfamily incorrect quotes
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
dollishbabess · 2 days ago
Note
Do you do batfamily? I literally love your profile aesthetic and I think it would be really cool something like girly reader who is the youngest in the batfamily, I think it would be funny the boys dealing with her and everything. ily🤍
Tumblr media
“I PRESSED HIDE ICONS BUT I CAN STILL SEE ME” ── .✦ DOLLISH ⋆. 𐙚 ˚
Tumblr media
A/n: this literally made me laugh but tysm ily too, but literally i tried to balance this with sass + a girl who likes pink and other colors instead of stereotypical pink girly girl and etc but if this is not correct then sorry because i only have one sister and a brother and i’m oldest out of all of them.
tags: batfamily x girly!batsis
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
⋆. 𐙚 ˚
The manor is, of course, dark and filled with heavy, old-fashioned furniture. Meanwhile, you’re room is beautiful with subtle hints of pink decor and white, and a beautiful walk in closet, and your room is the only spot with cozy, neutral decor and soft pinks, which you somehow convinced Alfred was “tasteful and happy”
Bruce pretends he doesn’t notice the little decorative changes you make around the house, like the rose-gold lamp in the hallway or the fresh flowers on the dining table. Alfred, though, secretly loves it because it makes the place feel a little less like a ‘depressive episode’ (I’m convinced if someone suicidal went in that manor they would likely fucking commit at this rate).
“CINDERELLA ARE YOU FUCKING READY?!” ── .✦
When you go to family dinners or galas, the boys have come to expect that you’ll need at least an hour to get ready. They used to complain, but now they’ve just accepted it (even if it means sleeping while standing up waiting) And you’re always perfectly dressed, from your hair to your jewelry.
Tim once asked why you had to wear rings on your ring finger without being married, and without missing a beat, you responded, “Because I need to let people know I have style standards, maybe you can learn a or two about fashion, your dressed like a fucking caveman.”
“ITS EXPLAINABLE” ── .✦
Alfred has somehow become your unofficial shopping partner, knowing all your preferred stores and patiently sitting outside the fitting rooms. He’s the only one who will willingly go with you without complaint, and he even knows which colors you like best
Once, Bruce was caught off guard by a credit card alert because it was awhile someone spent THAT much money and asked Alfred about it. Alfred just responded calmly, “It was for necessary purchases, Master Wayne,” even though the “necessary purchases” included a ton of “designer” things.
── .✦
Damian once challenged you to a chess match, thinking he could beat you easily. Halfway through, you made a risky move, looked him dead in the eye, and said, “You’re about to see a queen move.” Damian lost, and he’s still confused about how it happened.
One morning, Dick said, “Isn’t it a little early for all the glam and glitter?” You just gave him a look and said, “Isn’t it a little late for you to be alive, your social security number is probably one.
YOUR BEAUTY PRODUCTS BECOMING A ATTEMPT ON PEOPLES LIVES ── .✦
Bruce has almost tripped on your eyelash curler twice. The family has also officially banned you from putting skincare masks in the fridge after Jason mistook your green tea gel eye masks for some kind of salad topping (the worse part is… he ate the whole thing and didn’t realize until he went shopping trying to find the exact one until he found it in the skincare aisle instead of the salad dressing aisle…)
Tim opened the wrong drawer in your room once, and it looked like a makeup frenzy had exploded. Lip glosses, nail polishes, tiny skincare samples, and sheet masks cascaded out, and he just stood there, baffled by how much one person could need, (he thought you ran a business for a few days after.)
── .✦
You also gave Bruce a mini heart attack when you told him you wanted a different laptop because “this one’s too boring.” The Batcomputer tech isn’t boring, but you wanted a rose-gold case and “a vibe,” so Bruce ended up ordering one in the exact shade you wanted.
The family group chat is complete chaos. You regularly send pictures of quotes from romance novels, and the occasional inspirational meme with sparkles. Once, you sent a photo of the living room and asked, “Could we get some lighter curtains in here? For my aesthetic and mental well being?”
Whenever someone’s late, you flood the chat with passive-aggressive texts like, “Jason, do you know what ‘be here at 6 PM’ means?” or “Dick, if you’re any later, I’ll be old enough to vote for Kamala at this rate.”
MOVIE NIGHTS ── .✦
You insist on watching rom-coms and dramas instead of the usual action movies. Even though the boys groan, you’ve noticed they secretly enjoy the movies by the end. Tim tried to deny it, but he was caught laughing at a scene in white chicks and you swore to never let him forget it.
Once, you convinced them to watch a “fall aesthetic” movie marathon, complete with hot chocolate and fuzzy blankets. Even Jason joined in, and you teased him the whole night, whispering, “Don’t pretend you don’t love a good blanket.
THE OFFICAL FASHION GURU FINALBOSS 💜 ── .✦
You’ve taken it upon yourself to occasionally “advise” the boys on their fashion. If Tim wears a hoodie that’s “two shades too close to ‘depression’ ” you’ll be the first to tell him. You even convinced Damian to try a collared shirt once, though he looked horrified.
Dick gets roasted the most. He walked out wearing cargo shorts once, and you deadpan, “Going for the ‘i’m so old i saw humans evolve’ look i see.” He didn’t change, but he was clearly a little self-conscious the whole day (he never wore cargo shorts ever again…)
SKINCARE TIPS ── .✦
You’ve taught the boys some random facts they never knew, like the importance of hyaluronic acid for skincare and the difference between ballet flats and loafers. They pretend to brush it off, but you’ve overheard Jason giving roy skincare advice using the tips you shared.
When Bruce had a minor scratch on his face from patrol, you casually handed him concealer. “Just dab, blend, and don’t tell anyone,” you said. He followed the instructions without a word (he used to do that before, just impressed you also knew)
THE BABY OF THE FAMILY ── .✦
As the youngest, you know how to work the “baby sister” angle like a pro. The boys are fiercely protective, and any time you need a ride, money for something “totally essential,” or help with homework, you can count on one of them stepping up.
Once, you asked Damian to grab something from a high shelf for you, and when he hesitated, you hit him with, “Guess i really am alone without a good brother..” He ended up grabbing it for you with a grumble, but you swear you saw him smirk.
Tumblr media
@dollishbabess made by me, do not translate, or repost or copy.
Second divider: @cafekitsune, other dividers not sure I kinda forgot sorry
105 notes · View notes
starvoiddream · 2 days ago
Text
Bat!sib: Don’t worry, I’ll be fine!
Jason: My training finally making you better at fighting?
Bat!sib: Well, no, but thanks to that I’ve basically become a professional at getting the shit kicked out of me, so I can handle it!
63 notes · View notes
imhere-imqueer-ilikedeer · 2 months ago
Text
Jason: There's a thin line between being a genius and being an idiot.
Jason: Tim uses that line as a fucking jump rope.
10K notes · View notes
vodrae · 1 year ago
Text
Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?
Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.
38K notes · View notes
gothamite-rambler · 29 days ago
Text
"Weird Questions from a Weird City: Batfamily Edition
Duke Thomas: What’s your biggest fear?
Jason Todd: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.
Tim Drake: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.
Dick Grayson: Vampires.
Jason Todd: ...
Tim Drake: ...
Dick Grayson: I got turned into one once and nearly killed peoples. It's a bloodlust, you never know when you'll be fully quenched and every non-vampire is a succulent vessel... But I'm not a vampire anymore and that is in my past.
Dick eats his apple after that.
*silence*
Duke Thomas: Holy crap stick, Batman.
Tim: Can I change my option to Dick Grayson?
Jason: Same.
9K notes · View notes
dreamingaboutsakuratrees · 2 months ago
Text
[During a white elephant gifts exchange]
Steph: A metro card? no way!
Tim: From me! Unlimited rides
Jason: Oh, unlimited rides? Is that what your tramp stamp says?
Tim:
Tim: I was gonna get mad, but that was a damn good one
4K notes · View notes
foolilazuli · 2 months ago
Text
Lian: Hey dad, Jaydad’s texting you
Roy, busy with something: Ok cool, can you answer it for me, pumpkin?
Lian: He’s asking if you want meatballs or hamburgers for dinner
Lian, texting back: Same thing, bitch. Different shapes
Lian, turns off phone: 🙂
3K notes · View notes
goodoldfashionedengineer · 9 months ago
Text
Dick: *posts a video consisting of multiple clips to social media, in which Jason is seen sitting in a chair, reading something on his phone*
---
Jason: *widens his eyes and leans forward, gripping one of the chair arms*
Jason: No, the fuck, he didn't?!
Jason: That's not something he would say, but fine.
Jason: *blinks a few times* *looks up* *stares at his phone again* *blinks again* *raises his eyebrows*
Jason: *lies his phone aside, grips his hair while he paces around the room, clearly suppressing a scream*
Jason: I know I sometimes turn into a masochist when it comes to reading, but this is on a new level, even for me
---
Tim: *walks into the frame and takes Jason's phone away*
Jason: Give me back my pho-
Tim: YOU READ BATFAMILY ON AO3?!
8K notes · View notes
Text
*The Batfamily: hiding to try to throw a surprise party for Y/N*
Jason: *from behind a chair* Stop moving, Dickie-Bird, you’re louder than a bulldozer!
Dick: *from behind the couch* Well, sorry that Steph won’t move out of my way!
Steph: *kicking him* This is my hiding spot! Find your own!
Damian: *rolling his eyes* You imbeciles are acting like children
Tim: Everyone shut up- I think Y/N’s walking into the house!
Jason: Oh, really? Because I couldn’t hear anything over your loud ass breathing, replacement!
Dick: *whining* Why can’t anything ever be easy?
Tim: You guys are all going to ruin the surprise, shut up!
Y/N: *crouching beside Dick* Who are we waiting for?
Batfamily: *all let out high pitched screams*
12K notes · View notes
bat-stuff · 5 months ago
Text
At a charity ball:
Socialite: So Bruce, how has Damian been warming up to the household?
Bruce: He’s been great. Damian is such a caring kid–
Damian, appearing out of nowhere: Father. Three decomposing hags had the audacity to caress my face.
7K notes · View notes
strawbuddy-luv · 2 months ago
Text
Trans Tim off handedly mentioning random things that just confuse people more and more because he never told them he was trans (only Bruce and Alfred know)
Tim: "For the mission I'm thinking I'll go undercover, but it'll take some work to hide the bruises I got earlier. They're everywhere"
Dick: "Oh I think Steph is free right now!"
Tim: "...Ok?"
Dick: "Don't worry I'm sure she'll help you out with this! "
Tim: "That's awesome but I don't think I'll need help. I know how to use makeup."
Dick: "Really-? Ohhh, yeah your public image is like, way more public than ours. That must be tiring, having to hide the bruises all the time."
Tim: "Well yeah but I knew how to use makeup before that. For like, galas as a kid and stuff"
Dick: "...yeah..."
-----
Steph: -Complaining about a man- "And then he said "Oh you should smile more" like "you look like you don't want to be here" like what- what the fuck-??? Maybe I fucking don't dude."
Tim: "Oh yeah I hate when they do that. Like you've spent the entire time bitching about the consistency of snails, I can close my mouth for a few seconds."
Steph: "..."
Tim: "...What-?"
Steph: "Well- I mean yeah but- you know I have to deal with it like...way more, and it's just a bit weird that like, you as a guy are, I dunno, trying to relate? I mean you don't have to deal with it litreally everyday"
Tim: "Well yeah not anymore, but, you know...I still did."
Steph: :...What-"
-----
Tim: -Resting against one of the rooftop ledges-
Jason: "Woah, I can't believe it, Red Robin, slacking. What would Bruce do if he saw this!"
Tim: "Fuck off, it's just period cramps." -Jumps off the edge of the building-
Jason: "Yeah whatever Timblina...
Your fucking what-"
-----
Bruce: "And for this mission, we'll be needing someone for the Caroline disguise, but we already know who that is so-"
Dick: "Wait does Steph actually know how to fight in heels-??"
Bruce: "...N-"
Steph: "Yeah Bruce, I mean, you could at least actually ask me before volunteering me to go fight crime in that dress."
Bruce: "You-"
Jason: "I mean no offense, but literally who else would do it? Cass isn't here right now and I don't think any of us are willing to get a boob job for the mission"
Bruce: "No one's getting a boob job-"
Steph: "Yeah! This is bat tech, Bruce probably has ultra realistic titties in everyone's color and size! Jason you wouldn't even need an attachment."
Jason: "I don't think Caroline Hills has fifty gun shot wounds and muscles the size of most those guys heads."
Steph: "Yeah bu-"
Bruce: "None of that will be necessary because none of you" -Pointing at the right side of the table- "Will be going. No one at this table will be needing any prosthetics...Or boob jobs."
Steph: "...Ok but who the fuck is going then-"
Bruce: "Tim."
The entire table: "..."
Steph: "Tim are you really willing to put on boobs for this-"
Dick: "I don't think that's the best idea-"
Jason: "You just said no prosthetics- Oh this'll be fucking rich"
Tim: "...
I...wouldn't need a boob job?? Or prosthetics?"
Jason: "Timbo, that dress is a pretty low cut, and, no offense, your training hasn't given you that many enhancements."
Tim: "...Thank you for the binding compliment?"
Dick: "The what-"
Tim: "Guys I- I already have boobs-"
The Table: "..."
Steph: "WHAT-"
Dick: "You do-?!"
Jason: "Bruce if you made Tim get boobs for some weird mission-"
Tim: "What- No! No one made me get boobs??? Besides, I don't know, biology I guess??? Genetics maybe???"
Dick: "...I'm extremely confused"
Steph: "WHO GAVE YOU BOOBS-???"
Tim: "I'm not really sure seeing as I was born with them"
Dick: "...
OHHHHHH-"
Steph: "What- is this like a birth defect or something???"
Dick: "Tim- Tim I think you're just gonna have to-"
Tim: "I'm trans."
Jason: "...That's-
Yeah
Ok yeah no that- that explains...a lot."
Steph: "..." -Head in hands- "I am such a fucking idiot"
3K notes · View notes
starvoiddream · 21 hours ago
Text
Bruce: What are you writing?
Bat!sib: Superman wanted to know what kind of weapons you have, I’m letting him know it’s private information!
Bruce: . . . That just says ‘Fuck around and find out’ in calligraphy.
37 notes · View notes
vodrae · 9 months ago
Text
Jason: Man I was born in the wrong era
Barbara: Oh ? Where would you go ? Roman Empire ? Golden Age of pirates ?
Jason: Far West, when you'd be a hero by shooting bad guys.
Barbara: Jason !
Steph: Y'know, you ain't a tree. You can move. Kidnap rogues and kill them in countries without proper justice system.
Barbara: Stephanie !
Tim: Or you just could go to the no man's land in Yellowstone park or the four corners.
Barbara: Timothy !
Dick: Quite frankly if you drop Joker's body in Bludhaven we won't waste time on it.
Barbara: Richard !
Damian: There would be an investigation only if there is a body.
Barbara: Damian !
Cassandra: Cassandra !
7K notes · View notes
rainnyydaysworld · 2 months ago
Text
Dick: No problemo!
Dick, internally: But it was all problemo.
Cass: Start talking!
Jason : Well, I-
Cass: Shut up!
Tim: So, what's for dinner?
Bruce, staring at the food they burnt: Regret.
Jason: What’s up? I’m back.
Bruce: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead
Jason: Death is a social construct.
Damian : If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.
Doctor: How high are you?
Cass: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet.
Bruce : No, they’re asking what drugs are you on.
Cass: Oh, antidepressants, why?
2K notes · View notes
dc-and-damirae · 1 year ago
Text
random hero: aren't you embarrassed about being related to the villain red hood?
Dick: honestly, I'm more embarrassed about being related to Tim
*Tim walks in covered in glitter and offers no explanation*
Jason watching on the monitors at his safe house: lol
12K notes · View notes
sistertotheknowitall · 4 months ago
Text
Jason: Thou looks and smells of an unwashed mutt of female persuasion and so does thy lover.
Steph: You’re a bitch and so’s your man.
Tim: …… Okay, but why’s he speaking like that?
2K notes · View notes