#batman

[flonflonflon]

I will forever miss these two... I have such a soft spot for the Young Justice versions of Jason and Damian sobs

(((when will you return to me I need some level of conclusion some closure

[tsuyakiku]

[frownyalfred]

The command structure / ranking of the Justice League is actually super hard to understand from the outside, if you think about it. How many times have alien diplomatic missions arrived to meet with them, only to struggle to pick out who they should direct their communications toward? Sure, you’ve got the Kryptonian, he’s big and flashy and recognizable across sectors. But there’s an Amazonian princess standing next to him who looks dangerous and speaks like a royal. You’ve got an Atlantean king behind her, also royal, also dangerous. You’ve got a Green Lantern of the Sector with trace ion signatures from all the recent battles in nearby galaxies, and then — then — you have a man in black, shadowy armor who doesn’t introduce himself, who doesn’t speak or negotiate unless the others falter, yet ever single one of them looks to him as the conversation proceeds — checking, assuring, looking for guidance etc. is he the leader, then?

[abisalli]

meow meow meow

[nightingale-prompts]

Ghost Beauty Standards

So what if ghosts have their own scale for beauty?

Waxy pale skin, half-lidded eyes, empty eyes, colorless lips, ashen complexion, and sunken cheeks.

These are considered the most attractive features of a ghost without the extra bells and whistles.

Tim did not know this when he sat at his desk after pulling a week straight of sleepless case-solving and his desk neighbor was staring at him.

Danny had never seen anyone more beautiful until he noticed Tim. He looked like he could drop dead at any moment. Did he even drink water? Eating?

Those beautiful glassy vacant eyes made Danny blush. He couldn't take his eyes off him.

When class ended Tim sat up Danny heard his back crack from his still position. Thoughts of rigor mortis filled his head and the sound of popping bones was almost a turn-on. Danny didn't even know what that said about him.

Danny had to consider what to do next to tame his feelings. He could stop his attraction by helping his classmate improve his health. Or he could satisfy his urges by courting him.

[cherrie-blue-s]

Bro thought it was priced by the cup

Timkon

[bats-and-the-birds]

-at a justice league meeting in the midst of a very very stressful few weeks for Batman where everything has gone wrong, alfred is on vacation, and Bruce has not slept in days-

Batman: -outstandingly still coherent, lays out an extremely detailed plan on how to take down the Villain Of The Week- Any questions?

Nightwing: -slowly raising his hand from across the table-

Batman: Yes?

Nightwing: So... in all of this planning did you block out time to go pick up Robin from school like you said you would, or do you want me to do that?

Batman: ...

Nightwing: I'd say we could just let walk home alone, but the last time you did that, we found him trying to dismantle a section of the Russian mafia about two hours after he was supposed to get home.

Batman: ...

Nightwing: And he gets out of school in -checks wrist like he's wearing a watch- ten minutes, so you might want to make a decision soon.

Batman: ...Fuck.

[waveoftheocean]

late and very much still a wip but happy superbat week day 4: on a case/undercover!

[amorkuku]

Injustice

[robinhuntr]

Gothamites waking up to the loud ass Batmobile racing down the street at 3 am bc the local murder clown thought it would be funny to try something

[2myaku]

saw this and went Yeah. batman and robin

[incorrectbatfam]

How do the kids give Bruce psychic damage?

Damian: Father, can I drive the Batmobile?

Bruce: No.

Damian: *draws him as a Minion*

———————

Steph: Now that I'm eighteen, I need to register to vote. Can you help me?

Bruce: Of course.

Bruce: *pulls up the website*

Bruce: Date of birth?

Steph: August 11th, 2006.

———————

Tim: Can I sneak into the League of Assassins? I want my spleen back.

Bruce: Absolutely not, and that's final.

Tim: *goes to the Batcomputer*

Tim: *types in www.archiveofourown.org*

Tim: *searches Bruce Wayne/Hal Jordan*

Tim: *picks an E-rated fic*

Tim: *enables text-to-speech*

Tim: *leaves*

———————

Bruce: Barbara, can you help Alfred with the seating arrangement for the gala?

Barbara: Yeah, just send me the guest list.

[at the gala]

Bruce: *sits down*

Oliver: *sits down next to him*

———————

Bruce: I'll cut the perp off with the Batmobile. Hood, since your bike's out of commission, you'll need to commandeer another vehicle.

Jason: Roger that.

[later]

Jason, over the comms: Perp is secured.

Bruce: Good. Bring him in.

Jason: *pulls up in the Jokermobile*

———————

Harper: I'm taking a history class to fulfill my general ed requirements. Can I interview you for an assignment?

Bruce: Sure, what's it on?

Harper: The 2008 recession.

———————

Dick and Bruce: *fighting*

Bruce: That's it, you're benched.

Dick: Newsflash, orphan boy: you can't do that. I'm twenty-seven years old, which means I'm at the prime you wish you were. You're nothing more than a mummified raisin withering away in your dark, dusty corner waiting for the day one of us puts you in the retirement home, leaving you to slowly die alone as you wonder why your kids don't call. And when you finally kick the bucket, the first thing your parents will do when they see you is point you to the revolving door of reincarnation so they no longer have to bear the shame of giving you life.

———————

[at a gala]

Bruce: This is my daughter.

Cass: Hi my name is Cassandra Wu-San Dementia Raven Wayne.

———————

Bruce, holding a box: Guess what I found in the attic? My flip phone, VHS tapes, and Nintendo 64 from college.

Duke: Cool, I didn't know you were into the Y2K aesthetic.

[obsessedwithstarwars]

Okay you can’t tell me that Vlad doesn’t have an organ somewhere in his mansion. Upon learning of this, Danny would teach himself how to play the Haunted Mansion theme on the organ and play it at 2am.

Vlad Masters is away on business in Gotham, and the Fentons are coincidentally there for a symposium on ecto-activity. So it’s perfect! Except he goes to the wrong house, er mansion.

Honestly, Danny thought it was one of Vlad’s many mansions. Scaring the old man is his favorite activity after all. There’s a higher amount of ectoplasm here, so it has to be Vlad’s place right?

When Bruce comes out (on one of his few nights off) and sees his carbon copy playing the organ, all thoughts fly out of his head. Danny finally looks up and also blue screens. They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity until Danny’s cell phone rings (the ghostbusters theme??) and he panics. He jumps up and makes a break for the other door rushing through apologies “SorryWronghousegottagobye!” And runs out of the room. “Wait! Who are you?”Bruce exclaims as he rushes after him. They’re on the second story in one of the rooms he rarely uses. How did he know where the organ was? No matter. He’ll catch the kid on the stairs.

Except the kid is already almost at the bottom. How did he get down so effortlessly? The kid practically floated down the stairs.

Bruce gets to the foyer just in time to see the kid realize the door was dead-bolted in multiple spots. He won’t be able to undo them all before Bruce catches up to him.

He slows down and stands behind a pillar, assessing his next move. He needs to be careful here. This is a child after all, no need to spook him any more than he already has. He needs to slowly approach, and ask his questions.

But then the kid does the unexpected. After looking around frantically, he takes a deep breath. Two rings form around his middle and travel up and down his body. His black hair turns ghostly white. He looks back, almost directly at Bruce. His eyes widen as if he realizes he’s being watched. He whispers, barely loud enough to hear, “I’m so sorry, please don’t follow me.” Then, he backs through the locked door and vanishes.

[glitter-stained]

Prompt:

After Red Hood stopped killing and someone leaked footage hinting that he's the second Robin, he expected to fight for every morsel of territory, for everybody to desert him and the murder attempts to triple.

And, well. It's not like he doesn't find himself in a rigged warehouse on Monday, walking off that one explosion with singes on his back. It's not like on Wednesday, a bullet pierces through a hole in his armour and he's losing half his blood in an alley. And sure, someone takes advantage of him throwing his helmet away on Friday (he was out of grenades and needed a bigger bomb) to fear gass him, but it's fine, he can function normally under fear gass nowadays.

Except. Except nobody deserts him. By Monday, the attempts have completely stopped. He walks into a meeting with his men and sees his goons' hands won't stop shaking, and even his lieutenant won't look him in the eyes.

Jason is confused, and so are the other bats, but soon the rumours reach their ears: you can't go after the Red Hood, because no matter what you do, once you've targeted him it's over, like a dog with a bone, he'll get you eventually- no matter how you shoot or how many explosives you use. It doesn't matter that the Red Hood doesn't kill, because the Red Hood doesn't die.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

I need everyone to remember that canonically Dick looks so similar to bruce that he can easily pass for him.

I need everyone to remember this, it’s such a funny piece of cannon lol anyway new text post!

Dick having woken up from what he pretty sure was a nightmare, heads down the stairs he forgets he’s wearing a black tank top.

Damian: oh hello father

dick not yet fully awake replies

dick: hey dami, what’s going on?

dick’s voice is still deep from just waking up and still fighting the sleep from his eyes.

Damien: not much father, waiting for Grayson

Dick: I’m right here dami *chuckles* good morning

Damian looks closer at dick and realizes it is actually Grayson, he just mistook him for Bruce because we was wearing one of Bruce’s black tank tops.

Dick: awe, buddy it’s fine. Bruce will be up soon, what do you need me for?

Damian: *huffs* I can’t reach the cookies on top of the cabinet *pouts*

Dick: sure buddy I’ll grab it, when are we going out for patrol?

Damien: soon, Signal needs us for a ‘thing’ and needs backup for a bust. So it’s a early patrol today Grayson

Dick: sounds good, he’ll be up soon. But quick question?

Dick hands Damian the cookie jar he got off the top of the cabinet

Damien: what is it?

Dick: do I really look that similar to Bruce?

Damian: regrettably.. yes

Dick: awe, that’s actually super sweet B is going to have a laugh out of this. But don’t tell him I got you the cookies he’ll kill me.

Damian who is chomping on his 4th cookie nods

Damian: I will Grayson, can you pass me the milk?

Dick: *chuckles* sure thing

Damien and Dick manage to eat all the cookies in the cookie jar while they wait for Bruce to wake up, and then talk about the plan of action for the bust. All in all it was a good morning.

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[spicy-apple-pie]

Bruce... you know you can't fix everything all the time, right?

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