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#bc he never called me again to see if I was okay
hiiikiko · 24 hours
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001: ‘She’s in a band’
TW: Light smut, Ellie being a jerk tbh. (Not proofread bc I took my meds and I’m feeling lazy :P)
Moving to Seattle wasn’t your first choice, I mean, you were perfectly happy in Arizona. You had friends, family, and most importantly, a band but some drama happened and you wanted to get away from it all. Your first choice was going to California but you had no money, no stable job, and no place to crash so, you reluctantly went to Seattle. At least you’d be closer to the music scene and you haven’t seen your favourite cousin in awhile..
Gazing out the window as the amtrak came to a halt you see Jesse sitting on a bench, legs obnoxiously sprawled out and a toothpick hanging on his lips.
“Can take the boy outta the country but can’t take the country outta the boy,” you chuckle as you gather your luggage and make your way off the bus
“Hey, y/n/n,” Jesse drawls, grabbing your luggage with ease and slinging his arm around you.
“Ugh, get off me you reek of axe and cigarettes,” you tease with a smile playing on your lips as Jesse ruffles your hair and throws your things into the back of his truck.
Jesse’s place was a lot nicer than you though, I guess being a welder does pay off. It was a little messy and could use a homey touch but it was rather nice but you would never admit that to him. Your room was nice too, a little small, but had a great view and even had access to the balcony. The room was bare, plain white walls with a red brick wall on one side, a bed and one singular lamp sitting in the middle of the room.
You settle in while Jesse rifles through your things and rants about his current situationship, “She’s just insane like who asks for your credit score on the first date? Don’t get me wrong, my credit score is so good that it would make ANY girls parties drop.”
You scrunch your nose and throw a hoodie at him as he continues “Hey, I’m just say—“ he begins before hes abruptly interrupted by a call, “Yeah?.. right now?… Alright, alright, alright… on my way, doll.”
“Hmmm, I wonder who that could be,” sarcasm practically oozes off your words.
“It’s Dina,” Jesse winks as he rushes to put his boots on, “Don’t expect me to come back tonight,” he winks.
“Oh, come on,” you trail after him, “It’s my first night! Can’t you stay? We can, like, get dinner and maybe go to a bar?”
‘Nah, I’d rather get laid than hang out with my dorky little cousin,” He says, the door cutting off his voice.
Asshole.
And that’s how you find yourself all alone, sitting at a bar and cheering on the local bands when two girls sit next to you. The girl with short hair remarks, “Those guys were so ass, ‘The Serpahites?’ What the fuck kinda name is that,” her friend laugh at her joke.
“Sounds like a cult,” you mutter under your breath, not meaning for them to hear you but the girl with auburn hair laughs, “Ah, sorry, didn’t mean to eavesdrop—“ you begin but are quickly interrupted by the girl resting a hand on your shoulder.
“It’s okay, dude,” a soft smile on her lips.
Fuck, she’s so cute. The way the dim bar lights dance over her facial features and the way her short hair falls softly over her green eyes. She was wearing a flannel but you could tell she had one hell of a body.
“Sorry,” you say again.
“It’s all good,” she smirks, crap, did she notice the way you were staring?
As you’re debating on whether or not you should call it a night or get on your knees and start apologizing profusely for ever thinking lewd thoughts in the presence of an angel, she gets up, grabbing her friends hand and heads into the back.
Crap, I should’ve asked for her number..
Just as you take another sip from the fruity drink you ordered, you hear the announcer introduce another band called “the Infected.” Sounds pretty cool, you think as you get up from your seat and make your way into the crowd of people.
Must be a popular band.
The curtains are pulled back to reveal the girl you met at the bar earlier, she’s taken off her flannel and is now wearing a form fitting black tank top, low rise jeans, and a pair of worn converse, on her shoulder rests a beautiful black guitar littered with stickers of stars and planets, cute. Along side her is a girl with piercings, long black hair, looks like the lead singer, and oh. my. god. IS THAT JESSE?? He’s no longer wearing a flannel but a plain black tee, denim jeans, and of course, his boots, he’s on drums.
“Jesse!” you cheer as his head whips around and shoots daggers at you, you’ll never let him live this down.
The band plays a wonderful set and gets a lot of cheers from the crowd. Some fans, mostly girls, approach the band afterwards to gush over them, the girl with the auburn hair seems to have the most fans.
You make your way towards the stage to find Jesse, hoping to tease him about what you just witnessed.
“He’s in the back changing,” a voice rasps from behind. “Ah, I see,” turning around, you see the bassist towering over you.
“Heyyy, I know you, we met at the bar, yeah?” She says while looking you up and down.
“Yeah, at the bar,” you manage to get out.
“You’re Jesse’s cousin? Huh, didn’t know you were coming out tonight, if I had known, I would’ve put on a better show,” she smirks as a light blush sweeps over your face. How could such a small comment illicit this small reaction from you? Maybe it was the way she said it, her voice raspy from singing on backup.
“That show was really great, I enjoyed it a lot. Seems like y’all are popular,” you glance over at a small crowd of girls shooting glares in your direction for talking to their bassist.
The auburnette chuckles and glances back, winking at the girls, “Yeah, we got a few.”
You can’t help but roll your eyes at the faux humility, unfortunately, she catches this.
“What was that?” She laughs, studying your face.
“I can tell already, you’re such a cliche, right? I bet you sleep with all your little fangirls, give them the night of their lives then leave them in the dust, right? Just so you can feed your ego and make yourself feel better for whatever attachment issues you got going on.”
She looks awestricken. You knew her type all too well, I mean you were in a band and you’ve encountered A LOT of band mates are like that. Hell, even rock’s beloved dad, Dave Grohl, did something similar.
“Touché,” she smirks and leans up against the stage, her green eyes hungrily taking you in, “You’re interesting, let me buy you a drink.”
About half an hour later, you’re in the back of her van, panting with her lips on your neck and her knee pressing up against your aching cunt. She’s whispering sweet things into your ear which causes your hips to involuntarily buck up against her hand.
“So fuckin’ needy f’me, aren’t ya?” She mumbles against your neck, “All that talk just for you to melt into my touch,” you can feel her smirking against your neck.
“Shut up,” you say, barely getting it out through desperate whimpers and pants.
The next morning, you wake up in her apartment, alone and half naked, only wearing your panties and a shirt you didn’t recognize. You groan as you stumble out of bed, this hangover might actually be the death of you. You make your way over to the kitchen for some water only to find a sticky note next to some tylenol and water, it reads ‘Don’t forget to lock the door on your way out.’
What the actual fuck. Not even a good morning or at least a hi?
You crumple up the note, leaving it on the counter to hopefully get the message across.
“Typical bassist,” you mutter before leaving.
Later that evening, you facetime your friend, Lila.
“So… she basically told you to get out? What the fuck! You should’ve totally wrecked everything, stolen her shampoos, bleach wash her clothes, pour glitter all ov—“
Laughing you say, “Okay, okay, Lils, I get it but seriously? Glitter is going a little too far.”
“Not far enough, I’d say,” she mutters, “So…. was it good, at least?
“Good? It was total ecstasy but I mean, that’s to be expected.”
Lila cocks her head to the side, obviously confused, “Wha?”
“She’s in a band, meaning, she obviously has a lot of experience.”
“SHE’S IN A BAND???????” Lila’s eyes are practically bulging out of her head, “Wait, nah, girl, this is all on you. Rule number one, never sleep with a girl in a band, they will totally ruin your life. They’re good at giving head because they have to hide how evil they are somehow.”
You groan, “Ugh, I know., I know!” but your mind goes back to last night, the sight of her between your legs, the feeling of her hot breath against your ear, the sight of her on top with your legs draped over her shoulders, the way—
Fuck.
(A/n: This is my first fic since I was like 16 so be nice lol next one will be better, I promise, I just really suck at writing intros)
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sunofmoon · 1 year
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kuroosdarling · 1 year
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hello friendz !! i am packing my bags and moving to @tetzoro !!! please come join me if ya want ^_^
back to navi.
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cerealmonster15 · 3 months
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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floral-hex · 2 months
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fuck, I hate telehealth, but ya know, I think I’d actually like it if it was in minecraft instead of a video call. Let’s do therapy in roblox or something.
#having a relationship with your therapist is unethical… but what about running a dungeon together in world of warcraft??#today we’re going to talk about my abandonment issues while we build a mountain base in minecraft together#shit… I was just joking but this is actually sounding kinda rad#but wowwee do I hate telehealth#I hate professional video calls#I always feel like I’m saying the wrong things or I’m not talking enough#my last psych appointment was telehealth and it suuuuuuucked#oh man I don’t even know if I ever posted about this#it just felt so awkward and I was always worried someone could hear me on the call through the apartment walls#and he was like basically ‘just try to think positive’#fuck you fuck you fuck you and also think about my butthole and fuck you#thanks for the meds but never say that shit to me again#like… my therapist is a cool guy. I ‘love him. or as much as you can love your doctor in a distant platonic way#he’s always so cool about ‘yeah your chemicals are all messed up’ and he’s doesn’t shut me down at least not without actually understanding#but my psych who works in the same office does telehealth and seems very distant and not great at talking about deeper issues#which is fine. really. I just needed a doc who’d give me a fair shake and help me with the medication side#but I have to do telehealth for him and it feels so awkward and shallow#can’t we just do a 5 minute phone call? ‘hello. can we up the dose of my meds? yes? okay thank you.’#I see you typing on your computer a lot. I’m not saying anything interesting. if you’re on neopets just say so#anyway I only thought about this bc I guess I COULD do telehealth therapy today or something#but like I said. telehealth feels awkward and I wouldn’t be able to open up over it#it’s cool tho for like… I dunno. people who can’t go in person or need quick visits or whatever#I’m not saying it’s not useful or a viable option. I personally just hate phone calls and video calls.#and I love video games bro 😎#and I love you#goodbye forever#text
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mydr3aminvi0let · 4 months
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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ikyw-t · 1 year
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I do relate to olivia rodrigo in some ways for example I did have nightmares each week (every day for months) after that phone call in may (march). I fantasize (once every other blue moon) about a time where you're a little fucking sorry. except I do not hold my undying love (there is not even an iota of love, if there ever was) like a grudge and also I will never ever forgive bc you were indeed filled with vitriol. and unfortunately I also cannot let it go. it was six months (three years) of torture. I did NOT love you truly and I cannot laugh at the stupidity. I may have made some real big mistakes but you do indeed make the worst one look fine. like..............
#sorry i know this is cringe and something i should just journal about#ive just had a very shitty day and also kinda week#ive just been tired and lethargic for no clear reason for the past five days and it's very frustrating#bc i have homework due tomorrow that ive barely made any progress on#and i kinda rly need an A in this class to maintain my gpa. so if one bad week means i tank this assignment and get a B in this class#oh dread. unspeakable unsurmountable dread#also i went on a walk in the park w my mom which i haven't done in a bit and i just was unable to stop thinking#about my high school demon of a boyfriend who lives nearby. altho he literally never goes outside i sometimes get rly freaked out#and panicky that i might see him and have to deal with him again. like he did call (AND TEXT?!?🤢) me last march#and i was having nightmares for months after and feeling so paranoid that he might randomly show up at my house one day#bc that's the kind of shit he used to do regularly when we were dating to keep me from breaking up w him#and like ughhhhhhhhhh it just makes me so upset bc he literally would have the audacity.#it's just upsetting. i am soooo nonviolent as a person but when i think of him i suddenly feel not very nonviolent#again my apologies i know this should be journaled about instead. sorry u had to see all this#feel free not to read these tags like this is just for me. apologies.#while im here some other songs that make me think of him include would've could've should've. atw10 but only the terrible parts#uhh better by myself by hey violet is incredibly on the nose#also it's actually just a rly great song. also get out of my life by little hurt. okay im done now.#gonna go find something funny and cute to watch. maybe little witch academia.#sorry if u read all this 😵‍💫
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space-coupe · 2 years
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#okAy so i'm not going to finish writing it i lack the skill n talent but i Must get this out there it's haunting me#i know rpf freaks some ppl out in which case why are u following me i literally made this blog bc i wrote so much goddamn rpf#but anyways. fair warning in advance. n i will delete this once i stop being insane blah blah blah#but god. just obsessed with piarlesteban ideas rn. with charles watching all the alpine stuff we're seeing trickling out now and like#the bittersweet feeling that comes with watching someone you love succeed at the cost of them potentially moving on without you#at least when pierre and esteban weren't talking it wasn't a constant reminder that Technically he's not pierre's oldest friend on the grid#that while he Technically thinks he knows pierre best. he wasnt one of those kids from normandy#is it jealousy? is it fear? is it something else?#after all if he called pierre 'pierrot' on main and started posting tiktoks with how important their friendship is#it would be smth f1 reposts and takes everywhere and makes a situation out of. but esteban can do it naturally.#him not wanting pierre and esteban to fall out again because truly he Does love them both albeit in very different ways because they *did*#all grow up together. but then if they do. he doesn't have to worry about if pierre starts to hesitate more when he's asked who he's#closest to. who his best friend is. doesn't have to worry#plus. plus plus. add in the context of it mirroring /pierre/ feeling like he got left behind while charles#blazed trails in his top team and pierre went back to his junior team who try as they might could never give him that wdc#sorry ive just been listening to smile like you mean it on repeat. and like#and someone is playing a game in the house i grew up in. and someone will drive her around on the same streets that i did#i CAN and i WILL make this about them#esp because im already deep in copium#YO the fact i can edit tags now. fucking SEXY!
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hauntingblue · 28 days
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Pluton lore: it can be used to make islands disappear. But why would crocodile want that
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Zoro no learning that a swordsman is worth nothing if he can only attack and can't protect... yeah yeah yeah
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Water luffy is so silly but makes so much sense like this is how we got to gear 5... also robin laughing.... this is where she thought she might join... like at least she will laugh with them. Also crocodile gets mad right after so it works to rile him up too!! Magnificent plan luffy
#omg robin teaseeeeee#sanji telling vivi she will never again fight alone.... omg...#robin laughing at what luffy says... they are already having autism communication... magical#he said you are stupid bc nobody has beaten your ass yet and robin is like yeah.... and also you called me by my name betrayal is imminent#luffy fucking chomps crocodile AJSJAHSKAJAKA if forgot!!!!#porbable news of luffy being defeated and zoro is already training.... yeah...#vivis faith in luffy.... like she doesnt even believe it but its okay.... its the thought that counts#also possible marimo and weird brow introduction here... its like witnessing the first stone being put in the pantheon#the crab is named scissors.... nami named him after her favourite activi- [GUNSHOTS]#also really inch resting... random people that save luffy from death because he is a d: robin. law.#khoza crossing vivi and not hearing her is so heartbreaking akdhakbssk.. the drama#usopp denying luffy is dead saying he is gonna be pirate king and getting the motivation to fight... yesh#exactly.... chopper asking for a doctor... 🚬 comedy#also did sanji evade a swan feet shot bc bon clay said that one is female?? am i getting this right???#sanji making friends with bon clay..... yeah...#zoro fighting mr 1 believing he will be able to cut metal at the end of it.... crazy#OMG CAMIE!!!!! SO SOON???#zoro saying he will not wait for death yeah yeah....#i didnt comment on namis fight bc i was so into it akdjsksj... what can i say she fought for vivi... and also the fight was LONG#not a bad thing but the humor in it... poor girl.... usopp got your ass#imperialism in my one piece?? how a foreign evil infiltrates the state and incites a civil war by infiltrating both sides to ensure mutual#destruction and amidst the chaos extract the state's resources??? its more likely than you think#luffy saving vivi is so :“) also first luffy hug ever??? technically... also we will all hear your voice??? is the translation okay?#namis injured foot being on the panel before vivi sees her.... yeah exactly yeah yeah#vivi is going thru it she has been crying for like 20 minutes poor girl#just realised that robin is kinda oppostie of luffy bc she uses her powers to break peoples bones and she cant do that to luffy ahdkahsk#luffy how are you beating your poor father like that.... goddamn#robin wasnt expecting this??? now what girl?? i think she thinks she might not get to pluton now so she is like fuuck.... why did i save hi#which i do wonder why she saved him did she know about saul being a d? is that in the poneglyphs??#reading one piece
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puppmeo · 1 month
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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aquaslove · 4 months
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voulezloux · 4 months
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#proceed at your own risk i’m back again w/ more shit#had to text my therapist today bc i had like#come to the realization that i was craving the pain that i got when i used to sh#i’m not an active harm to myself i wouldn’t do it again and im not suicidal#but i just had this intense need to have the same pain i got when i sh’d#& scared my mom <3 & she told me to text my therapist <3#she told me to journal and idk how to fucking do that#so i have trauma workbooks coming in tomorrow as well as a copy of wreck this journal#i figured wrecking the journal would be the closest i can get to sh without actually doing it#idk my life fucking sucks rn and i want things to be fucking done i want to be future me not going through this#i feel like i’m being too dependent on bean for comfort and like that’s fucking dumb#i feel bad for just not being okay even tho i know it’s okay to not be okay especially rb#i also just knwo#that my dad is waiting for me to come back to him#hat in hand and tail between my legs to apologize for being mean to him :-(#bc obviously i’m the one who did everything wrong!#i hate being the 7 year old hiding in the pantry#i’ve been hiding in the pantry my whole life to make my dad comfortable#it also hurts to read back on the screenshots and see that my dad just doesn’t give a fuck about me#like i’m not purposely doing it but i have to remember detials when i talk about it to my mom#and it’s just a big ol reminder that my dad didn’t refute any part of my texts#that said i never felt like i was important to him or that i was an afterthought or i wasn’t a priority to him#like he cherry picked things he responded to#he focused on me calling my sister the favorite child and the park i chose instead of like#literally anything else#he apologized for making me feel like an afterthought but never told me that i wasn’t one to him which ig is nitpicky#but he never once in any of the messages tries to comfort me or reassure me that what i was saying wasn’t true#plus he threw in my face that HES been through trauma and he was just SHARING his childhood with his KIDS#like thanks dad! say it with your whole chest you don’t give a fuck about what you did to me! or the affect it’s had on me#he ‘didn’t want to trigger me’ but dude you fucking made things right with your EX WIFE and not your fucking SON
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sexbot300 · 7 months
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18+, minors dni! (being a slut for nanami bc honestly who isn’t)
authors note: hello! this is my first-ever post, i hope you guys enjoy it! (I literally have no idea how layouts work yet, bear with me)
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sugardaddy!nanami who scolds you whenever you feel as if you’re “doing too much,” with all the lavish gifts he gives you. nothing is too much for his angel.
sugardaddy!nanami that asks which jewelry set you like best. emerald or ruby? ah. how about both?
sugardaddy!nanami who you thought would be a joyless, serious man as people portray him. they’re not lying, he really is serious, to people that aren’t you. you’ll witness a soft side of him that only shows the most gentle of smiles.
sugardaddy!nanami who gladly scoops you up bridal style in his arms, walking while you burry your head into his chest.
sugardaddy!nanami who unpacks the gifts he gets you on the countertop after a business trip. “kento, baby, you shouldn’t have.” you play with the polyester ribbon while he simply leans back on the fridge opening up a beverage. “I couldn’t help but have the prettiest woman in the world waiting for me at home. it would be embarrassing of me to show up empty-handed.”
sugardaddy!nanami who for the first few times that you went out with him, meticulously kept track of the things you called “cute” and noted wherever your eyes wandered for a minute too long. the next morning you woke up with everything you ogled your eyes at decorating your room. attached is a note that read, “please forgive me, sweetheart, I didn’t know which you liked best. p.s. my sincerest apologies again, I let my own thoughts get carried away. be good for me and wear this tonight.” your fingers gingerly held onto the note, until your eyes fell on two things you don’t remember looking at when you went out shopping. a beautiful silk gown and an expensive lingerie set.
sugardaddy!nanami who will gladly kneel to strap your heel, placing a kiss on your ankle, after trailing his hand up and down your shin.
sugardaddy!nanami who sends you a monthly allowance for your hair, nails, skincare, and whatever you desire.
sugardaddy!nanami who thinks indulging in materialistic things is futile, but he wants to see you decorated in every fine piece of fabric, clothing, and accessories.
sugardaddy!nanami who acts as if he’s unbothered by you curling up on his lap while he types away on his work computer. you couldn’t even tell how much he adores every second of this as he idly types away. he loves to have you pushed up on him all the time, the minute you slightly move? a strong hand is placed on your thigh or waist to prevent you from leaving.
sugardaddy!nanami who’s only condition is to continue this dynamic until you’re unhappy or want nothing to do with it. (you literally want to marry this man but okay).
sugardaddy!nanami who has a saturday night ritual with you where you buy the most extravagant of desserts and feed it to each other. oh yeah, you have to be sitting on his lap the entire time while you both feed each other from the same fork.
sugardaddy!nanami who places his nose on the nape of your neck while you’re seated on him as he sharply breathes in your scent. “as much as I enjoy eating sweets with you,” he said in a whisper, “they could never mimic your taste.”
sugardaddy!nanami who started off paying your rent, bills, and utilities which he felt mentally, secretly disgruntled by. not because he’s paying (duh) or he has to take care of you, it’s just the fact you haven’t moved in with him yet.
sugardaddy!nanami who considers you under his care and deems your wellbeing as his responsibility. you’re hurt? point to where. your body is sore? lay back down while he massages you. you’re hungry? food is being sent over and here’s money for grocery shopping. you’re upset? he kneels down in front of you as he attentively listens to your sobs.
sugardaddy!nanami who supports your hobbies. he’ll drop off little things that he knows have to do with your interests and only says, “you like this don’t you?” you name drop pilates, cooking, art, knitting, whatever it is, he signs you up for the nearest classes.
sugardaddy!nanami who actually notices if you did something different with your hair, if you wore a new shade of lip gloss. little things.
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sugardaddy!nanami who places the most tender of kisses onto your forehead like he didn’t wreck your shit a second prior. “such a good girl… i’m so so proud. taking my cock in so well.”
sugardaddy!nanami that plays with your body in subtle ways. hands? his big, veiny fingers are stroking yours gently. thighs? constantly getting gripped. your waist? a strong arm wrapped around it. your cheek? a thumb stroking it. shoulders? relieving tension from it. collarbone? rearranging your necklace so it lays properly. guts? fucked out of place. makeup? smeared all across his luxurious bedsheets. lips? blown out from sucking his monster cock and making out.
sugardaddy!nanami who rents out an entire summer beach house with a glorious view of the ocean. partially because he likes the privacy of you two alone, surrounded by nature, and romantic sunset dinners. also because he wants to watch you ride him while he leans back on a beach chair without disturbing the public. (nobody is allowed to see what’s his).
sugardaddy!nanami who actually pounded you into another dimension, your mind still in a haze while he carries you to the running bath. “stay with me princess, i need to clean you up.”
sugardaddy!nanami who makes sure you finish several times before he does. oh poor baby, you’re out of breath? would you like some water? we’re not finished yet. poor nanami didn’t get to cum once, and you so badly want him to use your body to do so.
sugardaddy!nanami who buys you a personal collection of sex toys to play with when he’s not there. he personally studies the way your body twitches and convulses with certain toys, he needs to know how to please his princess. sometimes he chuckles to himself because he knows deep down, nothing– no one, can please you the way he does.
sugardaddy!nanami who sees you stressed or crying over school and work and quickly replaces those tears with ones of joy.
sugardaddy!nanami who will have you folded like a damn lawn chair and only whisper sweet nothings while drilling into you.
sugardaddy!nanami who has a high sex drive but hides it in the beginning like the gentleman he is, making sure you feel comfortable and safe.
sugardaddy!nanami who gives you the car you’ve been wanting forever. you ride the car for a bit with him ecstatic, kissing him over and over, giggling. you both quickly found a new way to celebrate. you’re pinned down over the glove compartment, one large hand gripping both of yours as they’re pinned to your back, and the sounds of skin slapping with your loud moans mix in the air. “ke-n-toooo~ I-I don’t want to ge- uh! It m-messy in h-ere…” “don’t worry darling, I-” a low grunt comes out, “i always cum inside dont I?” he quickens up the pace only to have you screaming like a whore. “t-that’s it. just take it. It feels good, I know,” he mercilessly pounds into you, kissing your temple, “just come undone on me, that’s it. make me proud.”
sugardaddy!nanami who texts you to quickly come to the office and sends you a cab for an urgent “visit.” why? he’s stressed and his favorite method to cool down is your throat expanding around his girthy dick. he'll grip the strands of your hair while cooing at you, "i know angel, i know. but you look so beautiful right now, don't stop."
sugardaddy!nanami who groans from the stressors of his job, turning his attention to you while he pushes himself back on his chair. he looks down on his bulge before sighing and tugging his tie down left and right. “go ahead. come suck me off, i need it and I know you want it too.”
sugardaddy!nanami who does the whole pillow underneath, hand pressed on lower abdomen, with a vibrator wand abusing your clit.
sugardaddy!nanami who has a diet that consists of devouring your pussy on a regular basis. “b-babe… i- ah! s-slow down,” as you elicit a loud dirty moan that fills the room, “pleaaaase.” if only you knew he takes more pleasure out of this than you and you’re the one gripping his hair to the point of leaving his scalp red. he further pushes his nose into you, mumbling, “beg all you want, I’m not done.”
sugardaddy!nanami who is a gentleman, really. who will kill anything within 5 meters if it remotely threatens you. but he can’t help but admire the way your little cunt can’t fully take it the first few times together.
sugardaddy!nanami who never thought much of daddy kinks, but when he hears “daddy” slip out of your precious mouth, his heels dig deeper into the mattress, his massive body weight shifts crushing you, angling his dick in an almost sinful way while pressing you deeper into a mating press. “say it again.”
sugardaddy!nanami who watches you squirm with a vibrator jammed to your clit and his tongue lapping up and down your cunt like any separation from his tongue and your pussy will cause his death. “k-kento s-stop this feeli- ah! I th- oh god! I think I need to pee!” he can’t help but chuckle in his head. his baby never squirted before until now.
sugardaddy!nanami who secretly wants to get you knocked up. man loves fucking his cum into you. he has such a big breeding kink that you catch on.
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cringe so hard when idols (you know who i'm specifically talking abt by now but it applies to all) interact with fans out in public and they're (the fans) always trying to touch and grab them when they're up close oh it gives me such second hand embarrassment and then when they follow them around i get heartburn like just tell them to fuck off 😭😭😭
#so many videos of him at mark's concert where he was clearly not having it and being annoyed LMAOOO they were all filming him instead of#paying attention to the concert they paid to see and he was like pointing at the stage teeling them to turn tf around i would have kms#and ppl afterwards just trying to grab at his hands oooooooohhhh god i wanna turtle shell about it so bad stop touching him freak!!!#having to be polite and even loving about people invading your personal space and privacy near constantly is insane#i'm surprised he hasn't broke and punched someone yet bc i would be clawing ppl's eyes out... but ik they're trained for it#still doesn't make it okay and i would never do it despite how obsessively loving i am for him. i would never wanna be a burden on him#and ik he talks abt ppl calling him & texting him on kkt in vlives and has this half-angry warning tone in his voice that just. makes me sad#having to tell people not to call you like you're actually friends... fuuuuuck man and you depend on these people to live. for your paycheck#and they feel completely entitled to your existence... i would never wanna make the person i love feel like that#i'm so happy my only interaction w him was making him smile and laugh like that in itself is a blessing even if i never get to see him again#but i hope i do at least get to touch or talk to him at some point... idk how bc he's prob not popular enough to tour america but like.#plsssss come back and see me i just wanna look in your big brown eyes again#ahem. anyways. just had to rant abt that
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xochosoxo · 9 months
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husband!gojo ✮| headcannons
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gojoxfem!reader
MDNI -> warnings: afab reader (but anyone can read yk), sfw&nsfw, arranged marriage, slight angst, comfort, pet names, flufflufffluff!, cunnilingus, gojo is pussy whipped, fingering, creamycreamycreamiest creampies, reader calls gojo daddy!, tummypushing
a/n: i had a dream abt this with some random guy and when i woke up i was so disappointed :(( LOL angwah heres some quick gojo headcannons bc i truly miss him and im so lonely.
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husband!gojo who you married per each family’s request, making your marriage an arranged one.
husband!gojo who hated the idea of being tied down.
husband!gojo who couldnt wait for the ceremony to end, however when he watched you walk down the aisle, looking so innocent, he felt a tug at his heartstrings.
husband!gojo who didnt know what to do when on your honeymoon. he didnt know whether or not to interact with you or to keep his distance like he promised himself. he decides for the latter.
husband!gojo who enjoys coming to work everyday after his honeymoon because his cute little wife always delivers his lunch to him despite not asking you to.
husband!gojo who starts to soften even more when he sees that you wait for him to come home from work. youre usually sleeping on the couch. he gently scoops you up in his arms and takes you to bed.
husband!gojo who sees that you start getting tired of the routine after a while. making his lunches, waiting for him to come home late. you stop delivering his lunches personally, opting to just give it to him before he leaves in the morning. he doesnt see you when he comes home either.
husband!gojo who makes sure to wash up before slipping into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you . he missed you.
husband!gojo who feels you wake the next morning, obviously confused to see his arms around you. he sighs before bringing you closer to his chest.
husband!gojo who whispers apologies and sweet nothings in your ear as you settle yourself into him with suspicion.
he strokes your head as he says. “im sorry. i know you didnt want this marriage either. im sorry that youve been doing all this alone. i promise ill be here for you. just tell me what you need and i will do everything to help you. youve changed me y/n.”
you look at him, with creased eyebrows, obviously still not trusting him fully.
“ill give you time.” husband!gojo sighs as he lets go of you to get ready for work. you still make him lunch that day.
husband!gojo who comes home and doesnt see you on the couch. he understands that he needs to wait for your response but there is a small part of him that is wondering whether or not you have left.
husband!gojo who sighs in relief when he opens the door to your shared bedroom, seeing you all dolled up in a pretty pj set, sitting comfy on the bed.
husband!gojo who smiles when he sees your face brighten in delight. you walk up to him.
husband!gojo who is surprised when you wrap your arms around him and kiss him with your soft lips. he groans into the kiss, regretting the fact the he never kissed you after the wedding.
husband!gojo who melts to your touch as your bring him to the bed. you remove his jacket and tie as your straddle him, kissing him more harshly.
husband!gojo who makes sure youre okay with with what’s going to happen next. he kisses you again when you say yes.
husband!gojo who takes his sweet time with you. stripping you from your garments,leaving you bare infront of him. he sinks his long fingers into your sopping cunt, your head lolling back in pleasure.
husband!gojo who’s eyes roll back when he finally tastes you. youre addcitive. he laps up your juices, swirling his tongue on your clit. you cum twice on your husband’s tongue, his hands holding your legs apart so they wont close. his fingers continues to scissor you until youre screaming.
husband!gojo who fucks you in missionary position, making sure to watch your face as your react to the pleasure hes giving you.
husband!gojo who cums inside of you only to turn that cum into a creamy mess around your pussy as he pounds into you some more. he can feel his creampie dripping out of you and down his balls.
husband!gojo who enjoys how loud youve become. moaning obscenities and calling him daddy. he wants to fuck you till your dumb!
“fuck princess, youre so fucking messy. fuc—nghh..” he tries to speak but your pussy is squeezing him too well he can barely get words out.
“please daddy!! i need—aghh.. i need you! dont stopp—ahh…” you groan as you have your fourth orgasm of night.
husband!gojo who watches hearts form in your eyes when he cums inside of you for the final time. you can feel his warmth trickling into your womb.
husband!gojo who pulls out and watches his loads flood out of you. he presses on your stomach, watching as more cum gushes out of you.
husband!gojo who brings a warm towel to wipe up the cream around your sex. you moan as he does so, still recovering from all of your orgasms.
husband!gojo who wraps you up into his arms once again, praising you for how well you did.
“you did so good love..” he says stroking your back.
husband!gojo who reminds you that he has fallen in love with you and will do anything and everything in his power to make sure that you are comfortable in this marriage with him.
husband!gojo who knows the two of you will be okay when you peck him on the lips and tell him that you love him.
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muteflames · 1 year
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saw my baby last night, i forgot that i’m in loveeeeeeeeeeeee 💖💞🥰🩷💕😊🥰❣️
#.#he picked me up and took me to a sesh and bought me 6 eddies for 30 dollars bc he buys in bulk (love my weed dealer bb)#then he took me to his place and we set things up for his bands show in the backyard and i was drinking while he was performing so i had so#much fun even tho i started moshing and i got a busted lip but it’s okay💕💕💕#bc he took me to in n out after the show was over and then he drove me back home which is like an hour away#and he work all the time and when he’s not working he’s practicing or boxing so we never have time to see each other ever since i moved#we used to only be 5 minutes away and now it’s an hour w no traffic and 1.5-2.5 hours w traffic (bc california traffic is the worst)#but he’s my best frienddddd and we’re in love w each other and it has been 2 months since i saw him i was so excited and had so much fun w#him i really need to see him more often bc being away from him for so long makes me super sad#he said we’ll go to joshua tree in 2 weeks… he’s gonna rent a house and we’re gonna take shrooms and whenever we take shrooms we make out#and he tells me he’s in love w me and he holds my hand like the entire time#ik it sounds like baby love but it’s bc he’s not only my bsf but also 2 of my cousins bestie so me and him won’t get together fr bc i think#it’s be fucked up for my cousins to have to choose between me and a boy they’ve known for 6-7 years#but i love him sm and seeing him and being w him makes my heart full#i feel bad for anybody that i talk to or fuck w bc my heart belongs to him and i could never love anyone the way i love him#he’s my babbbbbbyyyyyyyyy and i love when he calls me ‘my girl’ or ‘my love’ when he’s talking to other ppl abt me#when it’s just me and him he calls me babydoll or doll which i think is so cutieeeeee🥰✨#anyways i miss him already and it’s rlly unfair that it took us 2 months to see each other and that it’ll take another two weeks before#i get to see him again :(((( he’s the loml and my best friend i should be able to see him all the time whenever#also even tho he bought me eddies he smoked me out right before he dropped me off and gave me a pack of prerolls he lovessss me so muchhhhh❣#and he was too tired to drive home at first so he came w me to my room and i made him coffee and we watched dazed and confused and he played#w my hair for a little bit and kissed me goodnight when he left and omggggg i love kissing him he’s such a good kisser and he’s soooo pretty#he’s my bbg fr#anyways yes i’m in love and i have so much to say abt him#but i’m gonna write the rest in my diary#love storm
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