#bc honestly i get nervous stimming by myself

[nocribdoll]

Proud audhd moment: I allowed myself to stim on the train :))))))

[squishsquishy]

for the anon question game ^_^

1. fave song lately?

2. whats your fav color + has it changed over time?

3. what made u get into stim gifs?

1. Ohh this is hard! dua lipa + Megan thee stallion - sweetest pie has been in my head rent free for the last like 2 months lol.

2. My all time fave color is pink! I came out as nonbinary/transmasc in like 4th or 5th grade and I was nervous that loving pink was too feminine so i just wore all black until i was in high school. I wore leopard print pants + hot pink glittery tees in hs. Now i wear mostly crop tops + high waisted skorts or cargo pants. BUT almost all my clothes are pink now :) !!! If it was up to me my whole house would be pink like a limited too.

3. I was into it when i was younger in 2015ish i saw slime blogs and i saw people making slime on insta and i was just like ALL over it. I used instagiffer forever and i had no idea that it wasn’t up and running anymore until i started up this blog. I stopped in i think about 2019 or 2020 bc of stalkers online getting really aggressive. When i started this blog ive been super happy and honestly more myself! If you see a lot of me reblogging deleted or deactivated gifs, it’s nostalgic but also I try to reaffirm to myself that its okay I left and okay that i deleted.

[ave-immaculata]

hello :) i have a question

i am attending a traditional latin wedding mass this saturday. i only tangentially know the bride and groom; and i will just be a member of the congregation, not a bridesmaid or any other prominent role.

i was told to wear a ‘dusky rose’ dress. and since it’s very hot where i live and the church has no air conditioning, i ended up purchasing a dress that goes just past my knees.

my mom says that the dress’s cut and color draws attention to my legs. and she is right about that.

now, i have extremely hairy legs (i have a hormonal condition that makes me legs hairier than most men’s). and i haven’t shaved my legs in 6 years. (i am autistic, and i used to have a horribly pernicious self-injurious stim where i would rip the skin off of my legs. after noticing that i was much less likely to do that when i hadn’t shaved my legs in a while, i stopped shaving altogether. and the stim is not longer an issue - my legs are now too hairy to pick at.)

so here’s my dilemma. i know that my dress draws attention to my very hairy legs, and i know that the congregation at this wedding will generally be extremely traditional people who believe that women must shave their legs. and i don’t want to draw attention to myself by having such visible hairy legs, because this day is about the bride and groom, not about me. so logically, i should make the small sacrifice of shaving my legs for the wedding. but do i really want to sacrifice my well-being just to placate some old-fashioned people who believe in a nonsensical and arbitrary beauty standard?

i’m hoping to get your opinion on this since i know that you don’t shave your legs, and you seem like a very considerate and thoughtful person. so, do you think i should shave my legs?

thank you if you are able to answer this, and i hope you have a good day :)

Honestly, while it's very much your call, I think there's a lot more items in the "don't shave" column!

I think you and your mom are likely over-worrying about the amount of attention it will draw, which is TOTALLY fair and I do the same thing. I've caved and shaved specifically because I was so worried about it drawing attention. But the thing is no one has ever pointed it out to me, people have honestly given me less side glances than I expected. Especially at a TLM where (at least the Catholics) should be focused on worshipping God, I think it'd be ridiculous of them to be even looking at you, let alone judging you for your shaving choices.

Also, and this is possibly just my own personal experience and not applicable to other areas, but I think the TLM Parish I go to would think way less of me rolling up in a fancy dress with hairy legs than my main NO Parish, even if the dress draws attention to them (which I definitely get being part of the fear!). It's a weird part of gender roles that doesn't actually line up w how the Church sees them, women are not more feminine bc they shave their legs. Shaving is a modern phenomenon for better or worse and women are generally (in my humble opinion) less feminine now than they were pre-mass shaving.

The biggest reason, though, is for your own wellbeing. If you're worried it's going to re-trigger a self-injurious stim (which I also very much get!), then it's not worth it. In no way would I consider this even remotely trying to upstage the bride. If people coming to a wedding are so easily distracted, they probably don't even know the couple being married.

I hope you have a very good day too!! Also I don't know if it would be helpful or comfortable, but some nude or dark stockings (depending on skin tone/hair colour?) might make you feel a little less nervous. I've done that in the past! Just be safe, and whether or not you end up shaving, be gentle with yourself. ❤️

Let me know how it goes!!

[nastygrubbygremlin]

So we've interacted before Off Anon, but I am a Scared Goblin, so here: My brain is... completely off? Like I can very easily have controlled visual/auditory/touch hallucinations, and to stop myself from having them I have to stim. (I do when I'm nervous too, but I feel like fiddling with something when you've got nerves is "normal"? Or is that just another non-nt thing?) Anyway, when someone (you, somebody else, etc) make a stimming post and autistics/ADHDs/etc are commenting, would you be 1/?

i personally would be fine with you interacting! i honestly should have said any neurodivergent people in my stimming post but i just. didn’t think about it bc i was super focused on autism bc me BUT

i can’t speak for everyone obviously, especially if its like, a post marked for autistic people that i rb from someone else (cause i don’t know how they’d feel about it) but any posts i make about stimming or other generally neurodivergent stuff are open for any nd person!

(also i’m sorry, but i don’t have any idea either! my best advice would be to try to see a psychologist that has specialization in hallucinations and things like that, but i know that’s not an option for some people. i really hope you can get some answers eventually!)

[my-autistic-things]

Top Surgery Post Op

Hey guys so this post is old and the original bit is under the keep reading.  I wanted to keep a record for myself mainly, but oh well!  Today is 9-5-18. As a quick update because I didn’t give any other updates since forever ago: 

-I’m still numb

-I still have swelling

-I still wear my binder, but it’s not uncomfortable anymore because there's nothing to smoosh

-My doctor said that I don’t have to wear my binder, but since there is still swelling it would be beneficial if I could continue to wear it

-I don’t wear my binder at night/at home, but when I go out I still always wear my binder just because I feel more comfortable with it on

--I feel better with my binder because 1, pressure stim! 2, I’m not flat.  While I look the same as any other chubby cis guy, I’m still uncomfortable and it will take a really long time for me to get to where I am comfortable to just wear a shirt

-My incision sites have healed to just a little dark pink lines (~1/2 inch) and the drainage tube holes have healed also to dark pink dots (honestly they are way more noticeable than the actual incisions)

Ok that's it!  I might remember to make another update, but probably not for a while.  Below is my recovery from day 0 if anyone is interested.

I wanted to make a super extensive post, but, I didn't. Now I'm going to summarize the key points if my recovery bc I still really want to keep record of it and share a timeline of when things happen.

If you're interested in my top surgery story illustrating the whole day of surgery, here is that post!

Day 0; Thursday, day of surgery:

When I came home from the hospital I just slept. My mom woke me up to take my meds (prescription pain killer and antibiotics) and then I went right back to sleep. I couldn't roll on to my side so sleeping was pretty miserable but I pulled up pillows so I was half sitting up which helped me get comfortable. The drains were super annoying and I was trying to be super careful with my chest, but, I was fine.

Day 1; Friday:

I have no idea what time I woke up or what time I took my naps, but I basically lived off of naps (I didn't sleep longer than 4 ish hours at a time). I didn't have overwhelming pain, but I definitely has surgery. I was nervous when draining the tubes of my drains bc you have to squeese out the tubes. I was scared that I was going to just pull the whole thing out. But I didn't! I think I pulled it a little once on Sunday, but they are about 1 1/2 inches in so it didnt come out at all.

I had my first post op scheduled doctor appointment at 11:00am. I recorded my drainage amount only that first day, then my doctor said I didn't have to again. Just make sure to drain them the night before my next appointment so he can see the amount when I come in to take out the tubes.

That was my first time I got to see my chest post op. Honestly, I looked exactly the same except bruised. There was SO MUCH SWELLING that I had about the same, if not even a little more boob. My doctor assured me that on the table I was completely flat and that everything was just swollen.

I was also cleared to shower! One day post op, and I could shower!

Day 2-4; Saturday-Monday:

I was draining such a small I was so happy. I didn't need to worry about dumping the drains every 12 hours exactly and actually only did it maybe once a day.

The Vicodin pain meds, I figured out, don't work at all on me. I ended up taking the oxycodone I was prescribed by the hospital instead of the Vicodin my doctor prescribed (there was a mix up and I got 2 meds for one surgery). Still, though, the oxy didn't help that much. I mainly was taking it because it made me high to forget the pain/ache and help me just sleep my way through my recovery. I still wasn't even taking it every 4 hours like I could have. Maybe like twice a day, 3 times at the most.

I showered once on Sunday because I felt like I should. I tied a string around my neck and clipped the drains to that so they wouldn't be hanging. It was weird and awkward to shower, but completely doable and having a break from the binder made my pain decrease.

Day 5; Tuesday:

I had my second post-op appointment. I think my drains drained like 1cc of fulid each side at the most. It was so minimal and I was so proud of myself haha. My doctor took the tubes out that day and I FINALLY felt like I was healing. I felt so free oh my God it was one of the most freeing experiences of my life!

Taking the tubes out didn't hurt a single bit. Like at all. I felt 0 pain whatsoever. Again, the tubes we're about 1 1/2 inches in, and there was one stich holding them in place. I was 100% numb around my chest for the most part so I barely felt my doctor's hands as he took the tube out. I heard people say getting the drains removed are sooooo painful, but idk their type of surgery and such so maybe only with lyposuction it doesn't hurt because it kills your nerves for a while?

Day 6-7; Wednesday and Thursday;

I felt so much more comfortable without the drains on. I could move so much more freely and almost all my sharp pain went away and only the dull (ish) ache of feeling like I'd been lyposuction was left. I stopped all the oxy on Wednesday, and only had some ibruprophen Wednesday and Thursday night. After that I was pain med free.

I had a gauze bandage over the drains and I didn't want to deal with changing it so I didn't shower (from Sunday) until Thursday afternoon. I felt like I should do my doctor a favor and showever before my Friday appointment. I showered, then changed my bandage into a bandaid because the holes werent draining anymore, just open.

The hospital medical surgery tape put iver my actual incision looked like it was coming off a bit in the shower and I was worried about that, but I left it alone and let it dry good and it still stuck on like it was never wet.

When I took of my shirt to take off my binder to take a shower. Oh my God! I glanced down slightly and this GIANT purple thing caught my eye. I still had my binder on so I didn't think it could have possibly been a bruise, but it was! It was around my hip (gravity sucked stuff down there) and it was about as big as my hand. With my hand over it, it was about 1/2 an inch shorter than my hand and a little bit wider. It was huge. Purple. And quite impressive. It didn't hurt at all, though, because it was just pooled old blood that was dragged down there instead of actually the place I was hurt.

Day 7; Friday:

I went to my doctor's appointment not knowing what was going to happen next. The drains were out and I didn't think I had stiches in my incision (bc of the tape) so I didn't really know what to expect.

Apparently I did have one stich in my incision, and the tape plus the stich was taken out. I was told not even to put a bandaid on and to take the bandaid off of the drain holes too.

The tape comming off hurt to be completly honest. I'm a baby when it comes to taking off baindaids and tape. I was 90% numb in that area, but it still had that feeling of pulling off sticky stuff like I was ripping my skin off. The stich came out with 0 pain. I was so surprised how thin the thread was. It looked thinner than sewing thread and it was blue which was cute. I finally got to see how big my actual incision was, and it was about 1 inch.

Day 8-13; Saturday to Thursday:

Idk, man, there's not much to say. I'm sure if I did this post and updated day by day I'd have stuff to say, but I don't. I have a fractured/severely bruised rib from the binder being so tight. Well, it's not exactly the binder, but the binder band. It hurts a lot, but I can't do anything about it anyways.

My giant bruise is getting lighter every day and everything is just healing and improving every day.

Day 14; Friday:

That's today! Well, same as the past week. Every day there's less pain and more movement ability. I didnt have much of a limitation of movement even one day post op, but I can still feel a difference. I can comfortably raise my arms above my head now and I was able to bend over to pick stuff up without much chest pain (I got joint and muscle pain anyways so it hurts, but not specifically because of top surgery lol)

I put on my old binder yesterday because the hospital one seems so loose and oh my God! How did I survive?!?! It's so tight! Even 2 weeks post op I'm shocked with how tight of a thing I wore semi comfortably before. To be fair, it was my tighter binder, but it was still not too much tighter than my normal everyday one.

I feel not compressed in my chest and Im worried that the binder isn't squishing my chest down enough. I need to keep my chest flat and squished so when it heals everything will be flat so my skin will shrink down flat instead of being baggy and like empty boobs.

~~~~~~~~

I'll try to keep this updated especially after my next appointment on Tuesday and then when I don't have to wear the binder anymore (in 2 weeks). Plus, if anything exciting happens of course I'll add that! I'll probably edit the post and reblog it so it's all together in one piece so if you see this post reblogged its been updated under the keep reading. Lies lol

[sithphobic-blog]

DID UR TAT HURT MUCH.. it’s in a similar place to where i wanna get mine next year.. i wanna get it on my forearm but i’m like H.

I HARDLY FELT IT TBH!! i have a pretty high pain threshold so i was rlly nervous but it was more just like... mildly annoying than anything. to help distract myself i was watching stim videos on my phone, and ur tattoo artist will 100% let u take a break if its too much

i got dizzy bc of low blood sugar and my artist gave me some sweets and waited until i felt ready to continue. it was a rlly pleasant experience overall and like!! honestly i wouldnt let the fear of pain get in the way since its only gonna be temporary anyway

[incendavery]

gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

:0

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

HA 

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty! 

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad! 

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 

hell yeah!!!! 

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you! 

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;

[hangintherepal]

So today at work I was just really pretty anxious and I think I was was swaying a bit or tapping a little bit? Idk it was something of the stimming nature I'm not sure what, but I knew I was really really nervous because my sandwhich ticket times were getting high and I was waiting to get a sandwich off the press and then went back to my station to do the next few sandwiches and she was waiting to take my sandwich to drive-through and she started shifting on one foot to the other a bit a little exaggeratively and I looked over to hand off the sandwich and she went ‘just kidding if I did that everytime I was nervous that I think I would kind of hate myself’ and I just kind of went back to making the next sandwich bc I honestly couldnt tell if she was making fun of me or not and then a few minutes later when she was energetically joking with karina, trying to get her to stay late and and she went 'would it help to stutter, can I do that to get what I want?'this time I was p gosh darn sure she was directing that to me and im kind of freaking out a bit because Do I do that??? Have I been really manipulative and just not mean to be? How do I know when its genuine or not and how do I stop it? Because I also stammer and stutter a lot when im really excited about something like steven universe! and not just when im asking for something and I. dont. know. what. to. do. Because what if I have been and Im trying my best to limit these things but they come out more and more now a days regardless and im just doing my best and I just dont understand how to stop this and do a good job

[neechoudai]

#30 Days of Autism Acceptance Challenge!

I missed a few days, so I’m going to catch up! I’ve been mega busy ^.^;

Day 2: Talk about passing and/or being out.  Are you out as autistic?  How have people reacted?  Do they treat you differently after they found out?  Do you attempt to pass?  If you do try to pass have you experienced autistic burnout from trying to pass?

Only since the end of my freshman year of college (I’m ending my junior year now) have I really “come out”--usually to friends and teachers who might need to know. I was afraid to when I was younger, but I’ve become more proud of my identity the more I learned! I still get the usual “I never would have guessed” and similar remarks because I’ve apparently been able to pass super well, and they bother me, but I get past that. They’re more considerate to me and understanding of my needs--and always point out things they hear in the news about autism (which can get annoying if it’s inspiration porn but otherwise, it’s nice to have others think of me when they hear about my passion!).

I always try to pass because I am both used to it at this point and afraid of how I might be treated if I am not trying. I want to start passing less because it’s highly stressful, and honestly I’ve been in a constant state of burnout for a long time now. I’m hanging on by a thread and I’m amazed at my ability to get by. I’ve been getting better at letting myself pass less in public--whether that means stimming, carrying a tangle, or anything else. I’m trying to get past the stigma for myself.

Day 3: Talk about relationships, both platonic and romantic.  Do you have anyone special in your life?  Have your relationships been affected by your being autistic?  Have you found it hard to make and maintain friendships?  Do you have a lot of friends or very few?

I have a lot of close relationships, all platonic. I don’t know what my romantic orientation is, but I’m 95% sure it’s demi lol. My friendships are extremely important to me, and I have so many of them I don’t want to say anyone in particular in case I accidentally leave someone out because it’s hard to remember everyone at once!! No offense of course.

It’s hard for me to make friends with someone unless they have something in common with me--typically an interest in at least one of my special interests. Otherwise, it’s hard for me to find things to talk about and share. Mom has told me to make friends with some people because they don’t have many, but as much as I want to it’s hard. So I am nice, but not really friends with them. Most of my friends are online, though I have some in real life. I am closer to the ones online, though, because it’s easier to interact for me and also more comfy in general--though I would definitely love to meet most of my internet friends <3

Day 4: Talk about your family and support.  Who in your life has helped you?  Have medical and mental health providers served your needs?  Do you feel like your family is supportive of you being autistic?

My friends have been the biggest help to me. It’s because of them I’ve come to accept myself as much as I have. I have not really ever had any support from medical or mental health providers--I was diagnosed as a teen, and there weren’t many services in my area for teens on the spectrum. So no, they haven’t served my needs--which is precisely why I’m going into a career where I can serve the needs of other teens who may be in the position I was in back then!

My mom is not the best, but she tries, so that’s something. She used to be convinced I grew out of it and sort of reinforced the stigma of “don’t tell people because that will make you a Target [for bullying]” for a long time tbh. She still doesn’t understand, but she seems to be making some sort of an effort at the very least. So cheers to that. Other than that, I don’t speak to much of my extended family, and my younger sister doesn’t talk to me much either bc she’s a Moody Teen. (which is fine.) But for a positive family, my found family in my friends--and my wonderful cat--are a wonderful support.

Day 5: Talk about employment and your career.  What do you do to support yourself?  Are you on disability?  Was it hard to get or maintain?

I am a student in college and I also work a work study job at the campus library! It was not too hard to get once I filled out the applications--that’s my biggest problem with getting jobs: i have huge anxiety when I have to do big applications!! But I’ve been able to get jobs very easily, thank goodness, and I maintain it. I often get nervous, but people always tell me I’m fantastic t my job. I don’t tell anyone there about my autism because I get nervous or afraid still. I am not on disability.

[dgalerab]

did u ever read the bokuaka fic rules? cause autistic bokuto!!!!!!

iiiiii haven’t, i’ve only heard a few things about it

being autistic myself i’m reeeeeeaaaaaallllllllyyyyyyy picky about autistic fics. there’s a lot that people can get wrong and it feels really sad when they do, even though they’re usually understandable mistakes.

and honestly i don’t like any kind of narrative where people’s symptoms decrease bc of their partner. i act MUCH more autistic and have much more visibly autistic symptoms around my boyfriend and girlfriend, purely because they make me feel more comfortable about stimming, having meltdowns, or going off script and dealing with all my weird verbal stuff, even more so than when i am entirely alone, and with other people i tend to just implode and dissociate. so i’m sort of??? wary of that fic??? because it seems like that sort of story. but like... i actually have NO IDEA, i’m just too nervous to start it in case it makes me upset