#bc i know a lot of ppl use social media to cope with things and may be trying to avoid upsetting content

[coolspacequips]

I think it's so reductive to say Shuro only liked falin while disliking laios bc he wanted to "fuck her", kind of a bad faith read and needlessly crass like...

It's a good point that ppl react to autistic traits differently depending on how attractive they perceive a person, but I think what happened w shuro and laios is a larger conversation about how boy autism manifests and is treated vs girl autism, a conversation I've seen gaining traction re: the fact that ppl filter their Perception of autism thru a male white filter, and that girls have a drastically lower rate of being clocked early if at all, and that ppl struggle to even conceive of say a brown girl w autism (this of course being in the simplest language without getting into a more complex look at genders and other social dynamics and how that intersects w neurodivergence)

Also along those lines, I think it's a larger conversation on how men socialize vs women, stereotypically. Of course men feel deeper feelings than they are often given credit for, for patriarchal bullshit reasons. It's common for ppl to express that "men don't need/want to talk about their feelings", which they do and benefit from of course, but that doesn't remove the fact that they often are socialized not to, and don't always get the support they need to talk about them well. It's a common thing and used to be a common media trope that bad tension might simmer between two guys, then they get into a physical fight and the air is cleared and they are friends again, hell it happens it shonen all the time, and in text that's a version of what happened with Shuro and laios. They didn't know how to discuss it, things came to an emotional head in a charged moment, they threw hands for a bit, then that release cleared Shuro's head enough to reconsider his perceptions and the two have a much more level conversation.

This of course all without touching on how I and a lot of others read Shuro to be autistic as well, and how lots of fans are determined to read him in as bad as faith as possible and can once again only clock white boy autism, where laios gets a pass for any boundary pushing that he does, but Shuro is evil for not being able to express or understand some of his feelings until they come out at crit mass, or struggling social conventions

This also discredits his feelings for falin so much where I get everyone wants to hate him for being het or whatever, but I get the impression that he saw the things that were strange about falin and liked her because of those things, that she was someone who was kind to him without the same over the top energy that overstimulates him when it comes to laios, and having shown no romantic interest in anyone in the past, fell in love. He isn't creeping on her and trying to see her body and grope her for comedy beats or anything, we see him looking at her with eyes full of love as she plays w a bug she found on the ground, and we know she saved him from a nightmare in the past, which we saw involves waking someone from a dream about their greatest trauma and helping them cope with it. This stance that he's just trying to fuck her undermines these things, misinterprets what is overall a pretty chaste romance, and cheapens the fact that falin is THAT LOVABLE. He loved her because she's lovable, and despite having a horrible childhood where she was assigned no worth, the reality is that a group of people love her so deeply as to risk everything, which is something you often kind of wish for when you were an ostracized nd person like she was

IDK this whole post is a rambling unedited mess I just saw some post about this that pissed me off LMAO IDK why this fandom is so determined to deny shuro any personhood, I try to just brush this discourse off but it's hard when the topics of discourse can remind u how rampant fandom racism is constantly 😔

[golbrocklovely]

i also believe that sam comes across as calm, cool, and collected emotionally and generally. so fans that don't feel that way about themselves think "oh i have to listen to him bc i want to be like that myself." when in reality, sam is a workaholic, emotional mess who's scared of losing his youth but pretends to know what he's doing and constantly works to the bone bc he can't be stagnant long enough to be left alone with his emotions/thoughts. // i don't know why is that a problem? I mean I see ur point tho, but i also think that even if he's a public figure, he can still choose not to expose himself on social media, talking about stuff that makes him vulnerable. And not vulnerable for others, fuck those, vulnerable for himself, which i will say is like a coping mechanism that i also use sometimes because it helps me prove more of myself. Like ok I'm an emotional mess, like u said, but I'll never show this to people because i don't want to believe it myself. All i can say is that he doesn't hide this stuff because he's scared of what others might say or see him, i think he doesn't want to acknowledge something that on the long run can affect him or his work. And i don't think that's wrong

i mean, if sam was purposefully not sharing that side of himself to fans bc he doesn't think they deserve to know that, that's one thing. it's okay for him to not share everything. i don't expect him, or anyone for that matter, to do that. but there is a difference between putting up a front to protect yourself from outsiders (ie fans that don't really know you and don't deserve to know that much about you) and lying to yourself about why you act the way you do. the only person you fool by lying to yourself is yourself.

my thing is, i obviously have no clue if i'm right or not. i could be wrong, but i'm also basing my opinion off of things sam has said himself or has alluded to. that being said, if you constantly have to pretend to be okay, or constantly have to keep yourself going and working and can't stop for anything bc you risk being left alone with your own thoughts…. you need to seek help. you are putting a band-aid on an amputated limb. it's not fixing what you think it can. it's a short term solution for a longer issue. and trust me, ignoring it or pushing it to the side will not make it better. when you ignore the darker sides of yourself, all they do is fester.

i understand there is a lot that goes into seeking help, and there might be a million reasons as to why some ppl can't or have tried but failed. but you still gotta take steps to fix it. even admitting it to yourself can be a huge step in the right direction. i know me admitting something was wrong when i constantly didn't want to be alive helped me so much.

i don't have all the answers, but what i do know is that coping mechanisms aren't the end-all-be-all for ways to help with issues. they can help a little, but it's not the final solution.

[fuglyjeans]

I think we are more anxious as a society bc social media floods us with perspectives we do not need.

For example. In 2002 right if you were a restaurant server or a front desk receptionist or whatever. You'd have annoying customer experiences, you'd have interactions that make you go "how can people be this stupid?!"

But at the end of the day you'd just joke about it with your coworkers and move on cause that's life. You can't expect everyone who walks in to know the process like you do. We all have been, and will be, annoying customers.

But now in 2024 we've been stewing for over a decade in work posts. Like name a job, you can probably find a hashtag or a stream of tiktoks about all the pet peeves people have about the situations they deal with at those jobs. Especially anything remotely related to customer service or freelance or god forbid patient care

And that's not to say anyone is wrong for venting about this. But what I think sucks is there's no boundaries. There's no mutual understanding that, annoying as customers can be, it's not that serious.

Part of being a normal healthy human is to sometimes not know what you're talking about, ask "dumb" questions, and unintentionally annoy people or take up a little extra time. I just think it's hard to do that now with the fear that you're being One of the Bad Ones From The Posts

I think this does 2 very bad things:

Weakens coworker bonds, bc you're venting to the internet instead of a select group of ppl you know personally, who could fully empathize and connect with you over your shared cope, a delicious secret between you

Undercuts community. Bc part of being in a community is giving customers the benefit of the doubt and being friendly anyway (within reason.) When your head is full of condescending vent posts though, it's hard to do this. Customers get dehumanized and interactions become colder

& I think this applies to a lot of things not just being a customer

[evilpuppyboy]

Sometimes I really wanna write reviews or media based essays, and i have some written in a notebook, but I’ve never really felt safe sharing them. I’ve dealt with paranoia for many years and even now I am just getting comfortable setting my boundaries for who interacts with me online and feeling like I can state my opinions, even if they seem like very non controversial ones. I have a lot of thoughts about all sorts of things but I am so scared of confrontation that I even get worried leaving a good review for a restaurant or something.

[dyketubbo]

intro post (cleaned up a bit.. again!)

basic summary: my name is dyke/eyez/circus/mask/whatever you wanna call me, im a minor, im nd and a qpoc, i use any pronouns but he/him (and dont like masc terms, including bro, dude, guy, lad, stuff like that), and im apart of a system.

dni if youre against any kind of minority (includes racists, terfs, truscum, queer exclus of any kind [yes, even mspec lesbian exlus], etc etc), support ccs like schlatt uncritcally/actively like him, are nsfw, ship irl ppl (even ones that are okay with it), do x reader stuff with ccs, truth ccs at all, believe fiction doesnt effect reality/are a pro shipper/anti anti, or dont tag triggering things like zoophilia n stuff. dont be romantic or sexual towards me at all, and dont talk about touching me w/o asking. also dont interact if youre fine with those kind of ppl and actively interact w them (only exception to that last one is if you interact w ppl who like cc!schlatt, idc about that as much as long as theyre critical of him)

i like benchtrio the most but keep up w/ everyone best i can and like analyzing and drawing. im really sensitive and kind of an asshole so. bare w/ me if i lash out or am too much or something.

currently we have small intros of us per member on a page (/systemstuff) but dyke n grass will talk the most (mostly dyke). ty for reading, i hope you have a nice day and if its late for you, feel free to go get some rest. if its daytime, go eat!! or hydrate if you havent.

follows/likes and stuff will come from @/cottonskittles, reblog/like spam is ok, i dont care how people interact w me or my posts as long as they dont breach my boundaries, i think thats it but feel free to ask questions if u need clarification. more stuff under da cut

hi howdy just some more in depth stuff

im bad w tone so like. if you make fun of tone indicators or think theyre unnecessary/annoying (unless talking about excessive use/people using them as an excuse to be mean n stuff) probably dont interact w me because while i can interpret messages w/o them my own tone is often unreadable so i use them for the sake of others

story wise wise i usually look for benchtrio stuff, but i also try to keep up with everyones lore! theyre all important to the story in some way :]. however due to the themes surrounding them c!dream and c!schlatt make me uncomfy, and i only receive secondhand info abt the torture stuff bc its uncomfy too. also im personally critical of c!techno and i know that esp bothers a lot of ppl so yknow. warning to stay away this blog might piss you off

dni wise dont be a bigot. if youre against minorities of any kind fuck off, dont follow if youre nsfw or make nsfw content of childrens media, uhmm for personal sake regarding themes on the dsmp remember to like. tag cult stuff, drug use (esp underage), zoophilia, pda, and cannibalism if ur gonna follow me. tyyy. also dont follow if ur uncritical of some of the things various ccs involved have done (this is vague bc i know theres misinformation on dream and techno specifically but theres still shit thats actually been done and of course uh. the whole schlatt situations), and generally dont follow if you outright like cc!schlatt (c!schlatt likers r fine). like im not gonna make a big deal out of it but i will at the very least softblock because he makes me. really uncomfortable. you can interact n stuff just dont follow. dont interact if you use the new pan flag its gross and ugly and i dont agree with why it was made. and dni if youre a pro shipper (even if its to cope- find better coping mechanism thanks im a survivor and it makes me relapse to even think about pro shipping, actively romanticizing pedophilia, incest, age gaps, etc in media and then pretending like its just shipping discourse is Fucking Disgusting and i hate it), and dni if you like genderbend stuff it makes me uncomfy

also this is specific but if youre nonblack and weird about aave i will fucking murder you. n if you make suicide jokes please at least tag them. if you tell people to seriously kill themselves or joke abt "do a flip" or w/e or find that funny then dont interact w me at all

non dni wise w/ boundaries dont use masc terms for me, dont like.. talk about kissing me or flirting with me or anything, dont call me smart or a good person (just a personal thing. you can use synonyms if you really want), ask before talking about touching me, i have mirror touch so when people describe physical touch in any way i can feel it and thats uncomfortable. dont call me a liar, anddd dont make too many sexual references w/ me. keep it to the level thats like, present in beeduo streams but dont talk to me about kinks or anything even as a joke. finally make sure to tag things w /p if you mean it platonically around me, its for comforts sake. feel free to talk or message or ask for other socials or whatever idc about any of that

thatsss all for now. i do analyses ig, also art. have a doodle of my sona to tide u over under this paragraph. sorry for rambling, im not good at summarizing my thoughts and i have a lot to say. ok thats all thank you if you got this far and read it all i rlly appreciate you /gen. i was milfsmp but i didnt want to take the chance that someone would call me milf as a nickname

[wizardnuke]

I think I might have ADHD and from what research I've done I fit most (around 75%) of the criteria, but I don't want to be totally wrong about it so I was wondering if you would be alright telling me when you knew you had ADHD or overarching things/behaviors that people who have ADHD tend to do? Sorry if it's a bad question.

bad questions don't exist my guy! they Are Not Real! so by default this is a good question and I will try to answer coherently. this is not going to be coherent or concise, I am sorry

you don't have to match every single symptom! I'm probably about 75% there too because I'm not hyperactive- not in the way that people think it means, I'm not energetic but hyperactivity is sensory-seeking which I'll elaborate on

1. I say this with an incredible amount of love in my heart, rambling and maybe not getting to the point quickly when you're talking bc u want to add as much detail as possible in order to get ur point across clearly is an ADHD thing and this ask (and my response) is a lovely example of that

2. worrying that you're wrong about it is also very much an ADHD thing because we get really anxious about being laughed at for being wrong about things (google RSD for more info on that) and or because of that we have trouble talking about our issues to people who could impact them in any way, aka a doctor that's diagnosing you

3. I was diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive type (ADD) when I was 13 and I don't particularly remember being 13 or any younger than that jdjfjfjf, my mom is also ADHD-i and she recognized the symptoms!

but uh some assorted ADHD things that I do or see others do that aren't really included in symptom lists are:

- having a bad sleep schedule (like falling asleep at 2am and waking up at 12) bc our circadian rhythm is different. doesn't necessarily mean u wake up a lot when you sleep because I sleep like the dead,, once I manage to fall asleep which takes hours more than it does for nts

- seeing patterns in things that there aren't always actual patterns in. I don't know why this is a thing that ADHD (and autistic!) people do but it seems to be widespread. personally I have an emotional attachment to the fibonacci sequence and I really love music theory bc. patterns.

- gifted kid burnout. I'm 100% serious. it's often, not always but often, an ADHD thing

- ADHD people are disorganized because it's hard to prioritize things. should I put my clothes in the hamper or should I bring the dishes to the kitchen or should I text my friend or should I check my email or- etc.

- constant overwhelm

- trouble with social skills other than interrupting/impatience, I have trouble discerning tone both online and irl so I take things too literally, which is commonly seen as something that only happens to people with autism but I'm hmm most likely not autistic.

- this isn't an example but I think about the "I was diagnosed with ADHD which means my doctor said hey you have autism lite and you should microdose meth" tweet every single day and it never stops sending me

- neurotypical people DO NOT have hyperfixations and they don't hyperfocus. they literally do not. I don't care if an nt says that they do. it means that they're autistic/ADHD. NTs have hobbies and interests and jobs. NDs get overtaken by their interests and sometimes it's difficult for us to focus on other things because of it

- it's comorbid (exists alongside/is impacted by/causes) with a lot of other disorders/mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, PTSD (I mean that ADHD causes PTSD), dyslexia, dyscalculia, audio processing disorder, etc

SENSORY STUFF BECAUSE IT DESERVES ITS OWN SECTION:

sensory issues

- not liking textures, light being too bright, sounds being jumbled together and hard to discern.

- some people with ADHD also have audio processing disorder, which makes it hard for them to understand verbal speech quickly. ppl talk to me and it feels like I have to buffer for 10 seconds before I can understand them

sensory-seeking behavior.

- this includes the Leg Bounce™, other physical motions that you might do which ranges from wiggling around to pacing to cracking your knuckles a lot, echolalia (saying something repeatedly bc uhh its fun), etc. those are all types of stimming, which autistic people (and neurotypical ppl but less so for reasons I'll elaborate on in a second) also do.

this is because ADHD is caused by low dopamine, one of the happy chemicals, and it's harder for us to feel content by literally everything because our brains require a level of activity that they aren't getting because they.. have low dopamine. so stimming gives us more of the sensory input that we need.

- did u know that nt people actually feel satisfied after doing daily chores like laundry and doing the dishes because apparently they do and I got so jealous about that that I almost cried

- this is also why adhd people are "impulsive" or whatever the fuck they say that we are. it's a need for More Stimulation that we don't get unless we work for it in ways that nt people find inconvienent lmao

- so addiction, and by that I mean substance abuse, is something that adhd people are very susceptible to because it makes brain go brrrrrr

- and not addiction, and it makes me mad when people call it that, are behaviors like getting stuck playing games/scrolling social media (which I am very very very guilty of to a painful degree but I literally,, it makes brain go brrr okay), talking aloud, getting upset by monotony, etc.

and this is what we call an infodump

I don't think that a lot of NT people mistake themselves as ADHD. I don't think that self diagnosing is a bad thing to do. if the coping methods and the community help you then you're valid, even if the doctor says that you aren't adhd. doctors can be wrong.

[notfunctioningshipper]

Cw: Celebrity Rant

A very self-indulgent rant, because sometimes you gotta <3

In my humble opinion, I think almost everyone (INCLUDING ME!!) falls into some category of celebrity worship and I actually don't care if it's seen as socially acceptable or way over the top because I think it's kinda sick???

lmao stay with me for a sec

I think the way it's so normalized that there are some people that are just ranked more important than "the commonwealth" just bc they are rich and popular is wild to me & nobody come at me with "oh but they deserve it, they're so talented!!"

So is your middle-school-sat-in-the-2nd-row-at-the-right-next-to-the-window-classmate, or the cashier at your local supermarket who works the Tuesday morning shift, you just don't know about it because they didn't have a big national/international breakthrough. Does that make them less talented than famous actors who wear big feathers and don't know the price of a banana??

Ofc you'll say no, but then why do we have this notion that celebs deserve more good things than a guy working minimum wage?? Maybe he could sing like Emma Stone but could Emma Stone work a 12 hour shift with no break shelving canned beans?? (No personal shade to Emma Stone bc idk her, I just don't know any celebs to make a good example lmao)

I know this sounds silly and like a me problem but also why are some of you spending so much time into researching people you don't even know just bc they have a BAFTA nomination or something and panicking when they're testing positive for Covid as if they're your family??? They're not your friends???

I don't know who still needs to hear this but:

These people are not the ones that are gonna die like flies. They have the money and power to buy an entire hospital, including the staff for as long as it'll take for them to get better.

Last year when the lockdown started it was clear to everyone that most celebs are absolutely helpless without all the opportunities to go out and people dressing them prettily and rehearsing mediocre talk show lines because the masses also want to consume mind-numbing media bc their celebrity hubby is in it

or after the movie "Parasite" came out, EVERYONE had this epiphany that rich people are bad™ and we should not value them so much

But how long did that last?????

Celebrities have all the assets they need to take care of themselves & if they won't pay me to do so, I'm not gonna spend a second thinking about them and their drama because there's people I care about in my life who deserve this time more than them. Including myself

And while enjoying the media they produce is absolutely fine, I think everyone needs to take a step back and check their priorities, before they lose their shit about Elon Musk possibly testing positive for Corona or something (THEY WEREN'T EVEN WEARING MASKS), because I promise you, there's not a lot you're missing out on if you don't know what rich ppl are up to

But there's a lot of things you're not realising because you'd rather spend your time reading up on who was cancelled on twitter today than e.g checking what your grandma has been doing the past 4 ½ months

Anyway fuck celebs, I don't want to care about them actually & I never will tbh and I think society in general would be better off if we all decided to forget who Kylie Jenner is but I'm also aware that people use celebrity worship as a coping mechanism to deal with their monotone lives because

✨ Capitalism ✨

So idk what the options are bc I'm not smart and don't have a sexy conclusion but I also could care less sO brb blocking all famous ppl tags on this hellsite bc eat the rich <3

[imanes]

Hello! I hope you're doing well. I wanted to ask you if you would recommend someone joining Tumblr now? I've been here before but I deleted bc it started getting on my nerves. Now, I can't seem to find a way to share things w people...? Kind of. Like, I want to engage w ppl more but social media doesn't exactly brings that so I'm a bit confused. I visit some of fav blogs here sometimes and I kind of miss being here but I know I'll fail at keeping up w this website if I come back.

... contd. I love your idea of a book club & a discord chat though. I started a group on goodreads but it sort of died. After a point ppl stopped voting for our bi monthly reads and it really disheartened me. I even asked them how they'd like things to be but no one responded and it was a big let down. You're not obligated to reply of course I was just wondering if you could help me out with this lol. Also sorry for making you read so much. And I really really love your blog esp your textpost💛

hi!! first of all thank you so much for still checking up on me even though you deleted, your kindness humbles me 🥺🥺 i’d say if it makes your life easier to keep up with some people then by all means go for it. i think we put too much pressure on being constantly ON, and on providing updates, on being consistent but why should any of this matter? personally, i use tumblr as a space to keep up with ppl that i like but also as a coping mechanism, i love to come on here and scream into the void and whoever is in the void with me screams back and we’re just screaming together you know? it’s a good place to find kindred spirits due to the multitude of ways people express themselves, so i’ll always have a soft spot for this hell site. maybe you can try to put less pressure on yourself by just coming on here when you feel like it. that’s what i do with twitter, sometimes i use it every day and sometimes i don’t touch the platform for three weeks in a row, and nobody cares! there’s no success or failure at “being” on social media if you don’t really raise the stakes for yourself and if you don’t take it too seriously. 

and of course feel free to join us on discord!! there’s a lot of people on there, more than i ever anticipated to be honest so i’m really happy with it, but there’s no pressure for people to keep up with the discussions or to read, it’s just an online spot for people to hang out whenever they feel like it. maybe not hosting a book club and just participating in one would be more pleasant for you? me and the two other mods usually handle things on discord and i take care of the book club and i know i do it fairly poorly but i’m grateful that some people participate! my take is that if i end up reading the book alone at least i’ll have read it and people can come back to the specific channels someday in the future to check out discussions. but we’d love to have you!! we’re voting for a mystery/thriller to read in november at the minute <3

anyways, don’t put too much pressure on yourself, this website is a good means to an end BUT it’s not that deep either and nobody expects consistency from you because this is not a business you’re running or anything it’s just a pastime and pastimes should be fun :-) and i hope you end up joining us as well, most people don’t read much we just talk about the books we want to read but life gets in the way *angry cry emoji*. dunno if this helped u but if u need to chat u obv know where to find me :-) take care

[eternal-bangtan]

are you a morning or night person? last movie you saw in theaters? a book you love? cherries or blueberries? any pet peeves? anything on netflix you'd recommend to someone (me) who's been scrolling on there for the past two hours? one thing you would like to experience/see for yourself if you could go back in time?

oh u def snapped with this one huh 🙂 its gonna be complicated lmao

1 during my whole life i was sure im a night person and i had proofs bUT recently i tried to go to sleep at 11pm and wake up at 7 am and it worked for three weeks and then i fucked up and since then i didnt try this again so now im not even sure.......i still feel like im a night person but at the same time i think if i can use healthy sleeping schedule i can adapt?? idk man 😔 told ya its gonna be complicated lmao

2 HUH IN THEATERS I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHEN WAS IT oh no i remember it was ‘little women’ whjssjddj

3 mmm i dont have one :o ngl tho hp will always be special to me but i read different stuff but there werent like SUCH SHAJSHDJJD BOOKS THAT WOUDL HAVE ME BEING OBSESSED i dont even remember at this point but yo old detectives? ill read anything and will love it

4 ehhhh i eat both but rn id say blueberries cuz its more comfy to eat them and they r sweeter lmao

5 another weird word in english,,,, like blowing raspberries or daddy long legs lmao if i understood it right its about sth that annoys me? 👀 well its def related to society the lack of empathy for example the ignorance the narrow mindness (when its persons choice like they know u better adapt in 2020 cuz u cant change some things but no bitch ill be an annoying asshole and whine how everything is wrong and ppl r weird and bad like u know those who live with those old stereotypes etc) and all that stubborn shit too this lil need to say sth when literally no one asks like they could just ignore and move on its such a minor thing but no,,, (im talking about specific type of ppl i saw on the internet) cuz they think only their opinion is superior and it will be very hypocritical of me to say but hypocrisy too lol bUT we all r a lil bit like this as well so whatever right i annoy myself too sometimes

no ok lets fucking get it i dont like and it annoys me how some parts of society romanticize dickhead behaviour bad bitch behaviour cynical behaviour etc and think that they have this power to cancel other ppl and send shit to them like those arent human beings and dont have feelings ??? and like those cant change and become better versions of themselves after some time ??? and I THINK SOCIETY STOPPED THE RESPECTING ACTIVITY AND IT SADDENS ME TOO no matter how different their opinion is,,, i wonder if their friends had different from theirs opinion would they also be this inhuman?? yes im talking about nowadays twt and the rest of social medias daily life i dont understand since when its okay who told them its okay im not saying this is how everyone is but this is a tendency that annoys me i was sure that in 2020 the year of mental health and human feelings appreciation things would be different but no,,, ok i get it stress there is stress there is a lot of shit in the world rn but pour all ur inner shit onto other ppl????? nope there r also other more healthy ways to deal with negativity 😔 and assumptions annoy me too uwu

ok no it can get even longer i better not continue :)

6 im so bad at finding new stuff to watch that im rewatching friends on netflix again 😭 👉👈 sorry i couldnt help here

7 hm u kno i really love 21st century its pretty civilized and all these cute technologies and the whole improvement everywhere in every field too not saying its f l a w l e s s but hello its def better than in any other century or way before centuries were created dhsjdjd its only my opinion tho ofc,,, i just really love the time im living in

but the only thing id look at from the past (and id just love to see it from distance and be back here again) i would look at how the earth was when there was one continent lol OR WAIT 👀 id love to look at how universe was created from distance 😎 wanna check that big bang theory or whatever theory there also is and this is bc plz according to everything i read or heard about things were way more fucked up and i wouldnt be able to cope even by watching lmao

thank u for this it was fun 🥺 thank u for not making me look like a flop 🥺 and yeah i cant answer things normally

[leoalcrights]

Have you seen ELEANOR ALBRIGHT? LEO is in HER SOPHOMORE year. The BUSINESS MAJOR is 20 years old & is a VIRGO. People say SHE is CLEVER, INQUISITIVE, NARCISSISTIC and COLD. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY SOCIETY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE LEFT HER FRIEND TO DROWN IN A LAKE AFTER HE OVERDOSED ON OXYCODONE AND CONSPIRED IN FRAMING IT AS A SUICIDE SO SHE WOULDN’T GET CAUGHT UP IN AN INVESTIGATION. 

tw: drowning, tw: death, tw: alcohol, tw: drugs, tw: suicide tw: grief

hi u guys !!!! my name’s nina (she/her), and i’m sososo excited to meet/rp with all of you :’)) below i’m gonna list some things about leo and whatnot and yea!!!

so eleanor ‘leo’ albright was adopted by new york senator, lucas albright and his celebrity socialite wife, harriet valentine at age 6, born initially to a single mother and then having grown up in foster care until the albrights adopted her

leo had a very confusing childhood, to say the least

although she knew she wasn’t the “outcast” within her adoptive family, she couldn’t help but feel that way

she never mainly knew why she was adopted? Considering her parents were never necessarily affectionate towards her, she ultimately concluded that her adoption was a ploy to make her parents seem charitable and as if they were do-gooders, having adopted a child from a “broken” background to give them a better life

ALSO to add to the confusion, leo faced a lot of identity issues culturally considering she only grew up around.............white people

but anyway !! leo was not only trying to make her parents proud as she was growing up, but she was also vying for their love and affection in the ways she figured would work… always looking perfect, getting perfect grades, overall being the ideal child

the opposite of what her wildcard sister darby did

leo tried to follow in her brother’s footsteps, but no matter how hard she tried, she would never be able to garner the attention that her father endlessly gave him

nothing was ever enough -- her mother was very caught up in her own problems with alcoholism and her father, as said before, was too infatuated with james to pay leo much mind

of course, her parents proudly showed her off at public events and social gatherings, but that, as we know, doesn’t equate to love and affection

regardless of how leo felt, the media ate this up… she became somewhat of the “golden child” in new york’s elite society

this lead to leo becoming a narcissist in the lowest of keys

since she couldn’t get the adoration she craved from her parents, she looked to the media to give it to her

at 14, right before she was about to enter high school, the real golden child of the family, her older brother james, passed from a brain tumor

not being able to cope with the suffocating environment that her household had now created, leo somehow persuaded her parents to permit her to attend knollwood boarding school in connecticut (one of the most prestigious in the country)

leo, being incredibly bright, naturally excelled at pretty much everything in high school. she always made most top honor roll, captain of the soccer team, and was the editor-in-chief for her school’s newspaper

that being said, the girl quickly fell into the more popular, exclusive, elite crowd

it made sense, right? the girl was wealthy, beautiful, smart, acerbically witty, and came from quite the influential family

leo became the definition of “work hard, play hard” – weekdays, she’d be holed up in her dorm or the library studying, and weekends, she’d be popping percs and blacking out (and of course, she only partied with those who would have just as much to lose as her… that’s how she stayed out of scandals)

flash forward to her senior year of high school, it was time to apply for college, leo (to no one’s surprise) was accepted into the business school at yates university

june came around and leo, like the rest of her peers, considered herself invincible – the world was her oyster and she was about to go and pave her way in it

one night, leo and her friends decided to spend the night at a member of their crew’s lake house

of course, they got a little rowdy with a whole assortment of drugs and alcohol

one thing led to another, and one of her good (and highly intoxicated) friends fell off the edge of the dock and into the lake

this sent everyone, especially leo, into a frenzied panic

she claimed someone had to save him or that they had to go to the police or something until somebody else said it would be easier to assume he was dead/let him drown because if they went to the police, they would get be drug tested and face more significant consequences… she namely remembers hearing, “why should we suffer for his mistake?”

of course, they had to do more to cover their tracks… one of leo’s close friends suggested they frame the drowning into looking like a suicide. and they did. leo, having an incredible talent for imitating anyone’s penmanship and beautiful words, was pressured into forging the note. and she did. she heard it, her own words as someone else’s, read at his funeral.

and that shit haunts ! her !

anyway, leo moved forward with life (or tried) and never spoke to her parents, a therapist, her friends, anyone about the incident. she prays that one day, she’ll forget about it

doesn’t help that her parents never really spoke to her about it (or speak to her) in general

rly homegirl needs some therapy

but ANYWAYSJAKJS 

the thought of attending yates was indeed the only thing that kept leo going through the summer after her senior year… like she honestly swore to herself that things would be different because they had to be, right??

that being said, leo does not party as much as she used to because she sort of associates alcohol and party drugs with that night… but that doesn’t go to say she NEVER parties anymore

like when she does… she goes hard. probably too hard. but she tends to steer clear of hard drugs now bc of her mother & sister and overall it’s just not rly her thing now ........ growf perhapth

she’s also pretty reserved and keeps to herself ...... like she’s still social and talks to ppl and has a lot of surface level friendships but . she doesn't rly share her thoughts and opinions mostly bc of her father essentially telling her ppl don't care ab what she has to say like that HDSJHDSJ fuck lucas albright rights

also… leo doesn’t necessarily have a passion for business? tbh she’s really doing it to appease her father because “an investigative journalist isn’t a fit career path for someone of your prestige, eleanor”

ANYWAY, as a result of all she’s gone through, it is quite difficult for her to make like sincerely deep connections because she’s either afraid of being used or losing people.. she kinda cold..... but shes mad eloquent and polite and hardly ever like Mean to people unless she has a reason to be

but ! if you do win her over, she’ll remain loyal to you for the rest of time and will genuinely always have your back

random facts: shes a very avid reader ..... n for some reason was rly into shakespeare at one point idk..... 

also like a pretty good cook? idk pt 2

ok that's all i fink

but that’s pretty much it !!! i lowkey need to tweak and whatnot but here’s the gist of my little trash child leo :`) if you wanna plot slide into my dms or like this and i’ll go to you!!!! okay thank u love u bye

[theodcra-blog]

✱  kim  doyeon.  she  /  her.  cis  female.  —  i  know  that  theodora  “  theo  ”  jung  is  one  of  the  roses.  which  makes  sense  because  the  twenty  year  old’s  parents  are  hollywood  royalty  known  for  producing  and  recording  multi-platinum  awarded  albums.  rumors  say  that  they  are  the  quixotic  of   the   group  ,  but  who  knows  if  that’s true.  +  plucking  petals  off  of  daisies  in  the  name  of  a  crush  ,  steeping  teabags  for  too  long  ,  the  scent  of  perfume  left  behind  on  a  pillowcase.

                   hello  !  im  xan  and  im  late  as  usual  but  alas  ...  😔  im  22  ,  from  the  est  timezone  (  even  though  my  sleeping  schedule  …  does  not  reflect  that  sjbdwjkbdjdw  )  &  i  go  by  she  /  her  pronouns  !  i  truly  ...  never  know  what  im  doing  with  intros  they  just  turn  out  long  &  messy  aha  ... are  u  ready  ?  *jungkook vc*  let’s  get  it  !  😋

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK STATS  !

full name: theodora marie jung.

nickname(s): theo, teddy, dora (  but only by bullies 😠 ).

zodiac: libra sun, aqua moon ( click ! ) 

sexuality: bisexual.

occupation: singer / songwriter, model. 

birthplace: los angeles, california.

current residence: wherever this rp is taking place aha x

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY ! ( tw: sexual themes )

so her parent’s story was actually a pretty big scandal in the 90′s ! basically theo’s mom was the pretty famous front woman of a band ( think stevie nicks in fleetwood mac ) who was long engaged to the guitarist of that same band....until one day it was announced she was quitting the group and starting her solo career, leaving her fiance, and signing to a new label.....which was run by theo’s father, a young up & coming producer taking over the family business. not even three months later theo’s mom releases her first solo album, produced and co-written by theo’s father, basically detailing this years long affair the two had been having... in a series of really catchy, moving, and wildly successful songs. 

the public went crazy over the drama, especially when rumors started circulating ( through detailed analysis of the lyrics to all of theo’s mom’s solo songs ) that the well known band had actually been quite toxic. basically it was enough to convince media outlets and fans alike to forgive theo’s parents for being cheaters and breaking up the band JSDBWBDJWBD. by the time theo was born in the last year of the iconic decade that launched both her parents into stardom, everyone couldn’t be happier the two stars were getting the happy life they deserved <3

so here comes baby theo.....and the world kind of just immediately labels her as america’s sweetheart. her mom had some minor health issues which just meant it would be safer to not have anymore kids after theo, so not only was she this little angel to the public, she was also her parent’s little miracle baby ! lets just say she had some big shoes to fill bc of all the expectations ..

luckily no one had to worry abt her being a demon child JSBDJWDWJ because she turned out to be a very sweet kid ! she was a HUGE daydreamer since she spent a lot of time alone growing up </3 her mom had retired from singing and was now helping theo’s dad run the label, and the two of them were always busy looking for new talent to sign. she didn’t have any siblings and although she had a really attentive nanny it just .. wasn’t the same ?? so to #Cope JSBDWBSBDJW theo was always creating these super elaborate little fantasy worlds. it wasn’t uncommon for u to find her deeply engrossed playing barbies alone like she had scripts and everything 

by the time she was a preteen her parents were both really pressuring theo into thinking about a singing career, so wanting to please them ( and knowing that it was something she was kinda into anyway ) theo said ok sure ! and that’s where.....things start to take a turn. since she was so young she had this very very clean, innocent, cute image ( think disney stars ) & most of the music she was making was used for kids shows or movies. she didn’t really mind it so much but she noticed that her creative process wasn’t really valued ? or taken very seriously by her parents, because in their eyes like that’s their kid you know she’s still young, she’s always had her head in the clouds, they just really didn’t think it was a big deal if they took control. 

so theo put up with it, but the years kept going by, she kept getting older, and nothing was really changing. she still had a squeaky clean image, little say in the type of music she was making, but on the outside everything looked great. the public loved her, she was a role model for kids ( even though she was a teenager now ), it was all perfect.....until it wasn’t. when she was 16, she had a scandal akin to the vanessa hudgen’s nude photo leak, except it wasn’t as explicit ( not a nude, just a suggestive pic ) and it was way way worse considering theo was a minor. 

legal action was immediately taken by her parents, but once something’s out there you can’t really stop it from circulating, so the photos existed, just not on any official media sites. it was traumatizing for theo having her privacy breached like that, especially because instead of talking about how disgusting it was that someone would leak those photos when she was just a teen, gossip sites & fans alike were too busy talking about how her image was ruined. since she’d had such a clean, innocent reputation, people kinda forgot that... she was an actual person going through life growing up, and that she wasn’t perfect. 

theo, being the optimist she is, was like hey you know what? this is my chance to stop making music i dont love. after what was probably her first truly honest convo with her parents, they agreed she should be free to figure herself and her art out. so for the remainder of her teenage years theo fell off the face of the music world....

only to pop back up in the modeling one ! like most celebrities, social media had a big say in this. since reputation wasn’t something theo had going for her anymore, what she did have was a hell of a following still and two famous parents ( not to mention ... shes tall JSBDJWBDWJ ) she did maybe one runway show before deciding she hated that. tbh she hated any modeling that felt too constricting, which is why she never ended up doing anything for big names & mostly does stuff for foreign brands & magazines. 

she liked how much aesthetics had to do with modeling, and to some extent being a part of shoots satisfied that creative itch she had, but music was always her first love. theo really wanted to go back and revisit it, but she was scared the public’s reaction wouldn’t be what she hoped /: 

so following in her mother’s footsteps, theo’s re entrance into the music scene was an ep ( 100% written, produced, edited, you name it, by her ) she released on the eve of her 18th bday basically explaining everything she went through with art. it was only four songs + an interlude, which would become the most talked about part of the whole thing because it was snippets of various reporters talking about that photo leak.

the public had mixed feelings ! unlike with what happened with her parents, not everyone was ready to “forgive” theo. and since she hadn’t done any promo for her music, or for her career as an artist independent from her parent’s famous label, it wasn’t like she was making crazy money and getting all this recognition. but !! she was insanely insanely happy, and that’s when she realized making music wasn’t something she did for other people, just something she liked to share, so what did it really matter if she could be more famous if she was an artist under her parent’s label ? 

cue present day theo, model & singer, although the labels are pretty loose. although her music is getting way more recognition than it did three years ago, she’s still trying to do things independently from her parents, and she still has yet to become a chanel ambassador or anything crazy SDWBKWKFW. because of that she’s kind of garnered this new reputation for herself as one of those celebs that don’t really feel like celebs, like maybe she’s just like u except let’s be real she’s rich and her experiences are NOT universal even if her cute insta pic talking about ~her feelings~ in the caption makes u think they are

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY + TIDBITS !

not even gonna lie to u guys....she is baby. i dont mean that in a uwu shes 20 but im gonna weirdly make her act like a child way im not a freak shes just baby ! like i mentioned earlier theo was a HUGE daydreamer growing up, and tbh she still is except now that’s she’s older her overactive imagination can kinda get her into trouble. a good example of that is the fact that since she’s so keen to see the silver linings in life and the bright sides, she can neglect the bad sides of people and situations so things still fit into her romanticized vision /: this was the cause for many heartbreaks in theo’s life, and she’s still guilty of doing this although she’s trying to work on it !

very much the kind of person to treat everyone like a friend ( that means strangers too ) until you prove you should be treated otherwise. it takes a lot for her to not fuck with you, so if she doesn’t like you then you probably did something to deserve it /: she’s always had a curious personality as well so it’s really easy for her to connect with people just because she’s constantly fascinated by what she doesn’t know about a person. sometimes it can make ppl uncomfortable just how casually she can have a deep convo, but she just never had that filter where she has to know you for 5 years before she opens up about her trauma </3 you know how when bp’s rose and red velvet’s joy had dinner for the first time rose made joy cry bc she was talking abt her family and stuff ? JSDBWBDW theo is rose ... she’s out there sharing trauma deepening that bond day 1 of knowing you baby !  🤧

despite all that she’s still kind of maintained this elusive air to her? it’s not like she does it on purpose, or like no one knows the real her, it’s more like just when you’ve learned one new thing about her you realize there’s that many more things you don’t know. it also doesn’t help the fact that she’s constantly romanticizing everything, most of all herself, so she’s really crafted this “dream girl” persona without fully realizing it. im not exaggerating when i say john green wants what she has </3 

a lot of times people see her as naive, not because she often sees the good in people or anything like that ( although she does ), but because she has this overwhelming sureness that everything works out in the end. to be fair though, for her, things usually do. call it good karma, luck, whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is even when it looks like there’s no way a situation can turn out well for her, somehow it does. it’s a healthy combination of money, privilege, and a charming personality but to theo it’s proof that she’s right.

naturally.....as an air sign JSBDJWBJWBD she’s a huge flirt ! the media’s always linking her to someone because she really makes it seem like she’s dating half of hollywood when the reality is she’s just being friendly. when she actually likes someone it kind of turns into a huge deal like she gets infatuated with her crushes, swears she’s in love — and then poof. one day she wakes up & realizes she’s kinda over it ... until the next person comes along of course <3

hates conflict and confrontation.....and i mean HATES it to the point where she doesn’t even confront stuff within herself ( i.e. “negative” feelings like sadness ) until one day it all bubbles over and she’s having a legit breakdown and dying her hair red. 

yes, that’s exactly what happened last year, although if you ask theo about it she’ll just be like aha what do you mean i just wanted red hair luv x 

pictures like these ( click ! ) of theo when she'd be walking around LA in her school uniform used to go viral on twitter. 

desperately wishes she was the type of singer ppl would throw their bras at on stage when the reality is she’s out there making some chill bedroom pop kind of stuff so rip that dream </33333 

knows how to play the piano and the guitar, but keeps joking one day she’s gonna make an album and only use her recorder as the instrumentals.

has a white british longhair kitty named zoe.

is 100% that bitch that can only drink sweet drinks & fruity cocktails and u know what she’s valid for it ! 

if she wasn’t famous she’d be making slime. legit running a slime making insta, those were her guilty pleasure & shes so mad they aren’t that popular anymore JSBDJWBDJW

u know that post that’s like “i hate making tea i always feel so bad about throwing away the tea bag i feel like i should just eat it” ? thats theo 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     WANTED CONNECTIONS !

BEST FRIENDS: a power duo the public either loves or hates, ride or dies, that 1 person theo would drop everything for no matter what.....yeah 🥺 they’d be the person she’s closest to & vice versa !   

CHILDHOOD / FAMILY FRIENDS: their famous parents were friends, so it’s only natural they wanted their kids to be friends too. just imagine the stories ..... the memories .... maybe they got along really well and are still friends today ! or maybe theo pushed your muse off of the swings ( she claims it was an accident ) and your muse never forgot and to this day they’re sworn enemies.....</3 or less dramatic......they just drifted apart and now it’s like hey we used to be so close aha thats awkward let me just smile at you and walk away ....

LIKE SIBLINGS: someone who sees theo as a sister, and who theo considers her unofficial sibling. most likely she’s gonna bother the shit out of this person as siblings do but they really mean a lot to her because it’s the family she never had /: 

CONFIDANTS: the one person theo keeps finding herself talking about the things she usally keeps inside with. i think it’d be funny if both of them find it weird to do things like go out to lunch or shop together because that’s not what they’re used to !

ACQUAINTANCES: friends who are only really friends when both of them are wasted or friends who only comment heart eye emojis and fire sign emojis under each others insta posts but don’t actually talk much for whatever reason

FRIENDS THAT DATED: maybe things just ended amiably between them, or maybe it’s like an “everyone told us we should date so we tried it and boy was that the weirdest thing we ever did” situation. either way the outcome is they’e still friends <3

CAHOOTS: what is this u may ask ? someone theo can be in cahoots with. she has a dumb idea that no one else is likely to say yes to? she goes to ur muse. ur muse has an idea no one in their right mind would say yes to? they go to theo. these two are in cahoots !  

BAD INFLUENCE: although that america’s sweetheart reputation is gone, overall theo is still seen as a “good girl” by the public. she’s not one to be in a lot of scandals so i think it’d be really fun if your muse is corrupting that ( whether they’re doing it on purpose or not ) and whenever theo’s with them she just somehow always manages to end up in trouble. 

THE BIG EX: theo’s first real relationship, and first real heartbreak. everyone before them had been an infatuation, but your muse was the real deal. maybe the media ruined it, or they ruined it themselves by being too scared of their feelings to stick around, or maybe one of them was willing to try but the other wasn’t. either way it ended badly, and whether those feelings are resolved or not....thats a secret i’ll never tell x

SUMMER FLINGS: give me past & current ( or maybe even recurring ) summer flings where they both know it’s temporary but boy is it fun while it lasts. google their names together and you’ll find paparazzi snapshots on the backs of vespas, on million dollar yachts, holding hands in museums or sunbathing on the beach but by the time fall comes creeping in the romance is over. 

HOOKUPS: friends with benefits and it’s not awkward between them, friends with benefits and it’s super weird between them because they may be crossing over into real feeling territory, one night stands / hookups that were huge mistakes, one night stands or hookups that were or are being kept secret from the rest of the roses for whatever reason, someone who leads theo on but never gets serious about her, or someone she leads on but she never gets serious about, her go-to hookup on a night out when she’s partying, etc. 

WILL THEY WON’T THEY: a friendship that always teeters on the line of something romantic ! maybe they’re both oblivious to the chemistry / tension or maybe they’re aware of it because they get jealous when they hear about the other being with someone else… maybe they refuse to do anything about it because they don’t want to complicate things or maybe they purposefully cross lines when they feel that jealousy…..could be more angsty or it could be more wholesome depending on which way it goes 😈

ARTIST TO ARTIST: i don’t think .... we have any other singers / ppl in the music industry but i could for sure be wrong JSBDSJBDJWD but ! i still would love to have people theo’s worked with before. maybe if your muses has been acting since they were little, theo could have mingled with them back when she was doing music for kids shows & movies. maybe your muse is a model and theo and them have done shoots together before. maybe theo’s written a current song for a movie / tv show your muse was a part of. maybe your muse is a model and theo asked them to feature on the cover of one of her albums. maybe she hired your muse to act in the music video of one of her songs ! maybe your muse can also sing even though that’s not their main thing and theo’s asked them to feature on a song with her. there are soooo many possibilities that could be lots of fun <33

MISC: “we used to party together all the time until that one thing happen that neither of us talk about and now we don’t do that anymore”, someone who took care of drunk theo once and ever since then she’s taken that as an open invitation to knock on your muse’s door at 3 am completely wasted, “we tried to date but the paparazzi caught us on a date and we were too scared / sick of the public eye so we never got far”, flirty friends who say no i’d never sleep with you haha…unless you’re down?, your muse was theo’s first time OR theo was your muse’s first time, stereotypical happy go lucky and grumpy relationship where the grumpy muse pretends not to enjoy the other’s presence, enemies but it can’t be anything petty it would have to be pretty serious so if u want that drama.... 

that’s the end i promise it’s finally over 😭😭😭 i truly just ramble & ramble im really so sorry abt that JSDJWBDJWBDJWBDJW i tried to include as much info as possible to make plotting a little easier for all of us so lets pray this works </3 u can come message me on discord to plot @ seulgi ily ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172 so give this a like if u wanna .... do that ahahahaha x 

[ca1e70-deactivated]

a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years. 

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism 

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid. 

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis 

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later 

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best. 

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever. 

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment) 

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH 

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair. 

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going. 

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

[monicamichellefairytales]

Support Invisible Not Broken With Patreon! We are a self funded podcast and we could really use your help to keep Invisible Not Broken going and hopefully expanding. https://ift.tt/2wgFDFS Website/Blog, Twitter, & Instagram Handlewww.bonetumorawareness.org, Twitter: @StephDinDC, FB: https://ift.tt/1EIOKNI, IG: @stephmdaly & @bonetumorawarenessName *Stephanie DalyDisorder InfoWhat is your disorder? *Bone Tumor SurvivorAt what age did your disorder become a daily issue? *21Who were you before your illness became debilitating? *An active, young college student living in the city of Chicago that was happy, healthy ... alive, adventurousWhat would you do if you were not dealing with your invisible illness? *Be as active as possible, travel as much as possible, consider having children, consider many more activities and adventuresWhat would you like people to know about your daily life? *How pain, limitations, and continuous treatments have affected my mental/emotional, physical state and how I have ‘managed’ and perseveredWhat would make living and moving in the world easier for you? *Losing my leg, not working ... having tons of time to restDo you have any life hacks? *Plan and prepare heavily for activities (for recovery), when in doubt - RICE (rest ice compress elevate), physical therapy = key, being your own advocate with physicians and healthcareWhat kind of support do you get from family or friends? *Protective and supportive yet still (for the lack of a better term) clueless as to what this really is like ... fantastic support from a new(er) relationship - and dependent on the friend/person depends on the level of supportHave you ever had someone not believe you have an invisible illness because of your appearance and if so are there any examples that stand out? *Absolutely ... I get stairs when I use my handicap placard, or at work, even people doubt that I don’t have the ability to do things that I’m not able to do - therefore expectations are high and I get through it (and feel good about it) although the recovery is brutalHow has your chronic illness affected your relationships? *I didn’t date for 10 years after being very active with dating and relationships before this all started. I have had a relationship that broke up after this all started and had another relationship that this put a lot of stress on. Friendships also are tough because tough times are when you can realize NEW friends and some that you can do without.Is there anything you are afraid to tell people in your life? *Absolutely ... I’m afraid to talk about my rock bottom moments when I cry myself to sleep from exhaustion, or about moments when I just want to ‘quit’ my functioning life and try to go on disability ... or even the idea of losing a limb is tough to say out loud.Does the fact that your disease is invisible change how healthcare professionals treat you? *At times. Thankfully I do have scars (they’re not showing) but once I tell my story and have SOME validation, that’s better. But without those ‘facts’ to back it up, it’s definitely toughWhat is your best coping mechanism? *Everything comedy / doing things I really enjoy, music / I love going to concerts, love sports ... I also lose the group of people I have cultivated with similar conditions (bone tumor awareness): without them, I don’t know where I’d be today. They understand me the MOST by far.What are you the most concerned about and the most hopeful for in the future? *I am the most concerned about continual issues that are caused as a byproduct of my initial diagnosis (which I already have ... injuries in other parts of my body bc of compensating) as well as the potential of losing my leg, ... but I am hopeful for research and continuing advancements in treatments for these awful tumors. I’m also hopeful for a true love story where I feel loved unconditionally and truly taken care of by someone that isn’t related by blood.Is there anything you want to make sure we talk about during the interview? Like an organization you want to promote or something specific that you deal with.I’d love to talk about how digital/social media has been an incredible tool for being able to cultivate a group of ppl with this rare ailment (or very similar ones) to relate to and cope with / Bone Tumor AwarenessWhat is the hardest and/or best lesson your condition has taught you?I have to look out for #1 first and foremost, ... and that there isn’t an infallible/perfectly smart human (I.e. physicians) that get it right ALL THE TIME. you have to fight and be your own advocate to get the care you deserve. This has also taught me to control my finances!!! But that if you have a specific mentality I truly thing you can accomplish a lot with ‘thoughts’.What is the best purchase under $100 that helped your lifeMy GRABBER! (Hilarious)Any questions you think we should add to this list?The story about how my con... by Monica Michelle

[cd-i]

i feel like making a big vent post about the whole “anti vs problematic ship drama” and why im sick of seeing every month as a victim of that kind of stuff is stressful. no i do not use that art to cope bc it is vile and to know people get off to that is also incredibly vile and i have been on the internet long enough to know thosr ppl will never quit w/ it and a lot of them do end up doing fucked up stuff irl in the long run. no not all but i can name a few because i have came in contact with them to know what they put me through. 

i am just putting this here that even though this is all on twitter just to let anyone who follows me one there to not bring it up or rt even jokes. i tried that just know and earlier thinking i can feel better knowing im a very much better person, but the abuse as a child and a teen, i have been in therapy since i was 8 years old and even after all that the nightmares, the constant thoughts i had, those will forever be apart of me im a lot better now, yes but ptsd is the most harsh thing and again to knwo this drama comes up a lot on these sites is hard taking breaks from social media is good, but i’ve been doing it so much and living in an isolating home i need interaction so that becomes isolating too

just please, for me dont bring those people up block and report. and you see me following someone like that, i def wont even look into it and cut ties bc i’ve known people who knew i wasnt okay at all with the gross stuff they wer into but kept it behind my back. 

[espressogal]

(Pt 1) I have sm stuff to do&Im stressing out so bad,Im so overwhelmed. Im not doing good in 1 of my classes but Im a straight A student. The only thing in the grade book for that class is the 1 exam we took&all of my labs,so that 1exams making my grade bad. I know I have more opportunities 2make up 4 it but its really getting me down/making me anxious. Its just that the teacher makes tests so diff. from whats taught++I have bout 5million huge projects due this week&a ton of projects—

(Pt. 2) Along w everything else thats been going on, my depression&anxiety have been really bad recently& its been really hard for me to stay focused. I come home from school&I literally can not get started on my work. I just am soo exhausted from the day that I cant. I need to take a nap&take a mental break&distract myself. It’s been really hard for me. Anyways,I made a todo list&listed out my priorities but I just cant get myself started/motivated. Can you please help me/suggest some advice

hey im sososoo sorry this is late bc tbh ive been going thru the eXACT same thing which is why i havent rlly been on tumblr that much lately. what i did to cope with it is take some time to just cleanse my space. get rid of toxic ppl. literally. i blocked a few ppl, unfriended ppl, that were negative and toxic. i felt pain, i cried A LOT, i hurt and hurt.  i deleted the social media apps that distract me the most. then i used that pain to fuel strength and success. i visualized exactly what i want in life and how i WILL achieve it. i sat down and went through all my upcoming tests and assignments and wrote everything down in my calendar. its good to have a clear visual idea of everything you need to do and the time you have. got out my planner and wrote it down what i needed to do and thought about a time of the day / place where i will have the most energy to complete it all. sometimes walking / taking a bus to the library works best bc u took a lot of effort to get there so you would feel p bad if u dont get at least a little productive. then after monthly and daily planning, you need to hourly plan. google calendar that shit. your tasks, your breaks everything. you can do it i believe in you!!

[thedeadflag]

Hi I just want to thank you for being there yesterday I was having a bad time coping. Reading so many dismissive attitudes about things like the g!p issue knowing it boils down to most people as don't like it don't read it. Just bc its tagged doesn't mean it isn't doing harm. So many are supporting writers who know better but blatantly use it in a public forum makes me feel like i can't even be here sometimes. 1/2

2/2 I was thinking what if there was a popular genre that involved depicting/fetishizing black women with large breasts and small brains? What if that was a thing? Would ppl stay quiet bc its tagged? Wld ppl speak out? Thinking of all the things that ppl never speak up over but pretend to be allies? This performative allyship? It makes me sick. THIS is the toxic side of Tumblr. Thank you for being here.

It really is an issue of performative allyship vs actual allyship. Lots of people with “No TERFs” on their blog headers, folks asserting up and down that trans women are women and are “obviously” included in women’s spaces.

But then they fill those spaces with cissexism and transmisogyny and trans fetishization, and all sort of attitudes and behaviours and words that make it clear to us that we’re not truly accepted and seen as women, that we’re only welcome on their terms and that our voices don’t mean anything. So who are they supportive of? Who are they welcoming of within the spaces/communities we’re supposed to be able to safely exist in? It becomes intensely conditional. We’re accepted and welcomed so long as they get to demean us, misrepresent us, expose us to (and sometimes encourage) harm and sexual violence and social hostility, see and treat us like cis men in dresses they can put on a pedestal every once in a while for ally points. 

If trans women are only conditionally accepted in women’s spaces, then our womanhood is being treated as conditional. It’s that simple. And it’s really clear that’s the case among those reading and writing those trans fetishistic works. 

As for your example, I don’t need to use anyone else as a barometer for what’s acceptable in fandom, or how folks would react. Racial fetishization is distinct from trans fetishization. 

But I do have a strong feeling that if Amber Riley had been thinner, if she’d fit the fetishized “thick girl” figure…I guarantee that we would have seen that sort of thing blow up in the Glee fandom. She was already treated as shrill, loud, and brainless/small-minded (misogynoir at play). Being fat disqualified her from being treated as a viable character for most sexual works (classic fatphobia), but yeah…if she’d been a “thick” girl with large breasts, yeah, absolutely people would have treated her character as a mindless sex receptacle. I’m not even sure anyone would be so kind as to tag their works with anything specific, outside of maybe the shudder-inducing “eb*ny”, since that seems to be the norm of how black women are treated in sexual media. 

I doubt much of anyone aside from black women would speak out, or do anything about it. Hell, you’d probably get a bunch of folks who’d think it was positive rep. You’d get her paired up with all the white male leads in pursuit of pregnancy fics with mixed baby fetishization. And you’d get a slew of g!p fics in femslash portions of the fandom, with her as the ‘voluptuous’, ‘primal’, ‘aggressive’ partner with the BBC to ravage and fill up all the nubile, innocent white female leads. The fandom mostly shoehorned in Santana to fit that role, as the predatory mindless sex pot, but I don’t doubt that they’d have jumped on the possibility of using Mercedes if they’d seen her as viable. And fandom would have done nothing about it, because they didn’t do anything about it with Santana, dismissing criticisms left and right, and even trying to use canon material to justify twisting her character that way. Latinx fans were vocal as hell, and were roundly ignored and dismissed.

So yeah, in your given example, that’s exactly what would happen. Had racial fetishization been done in canon material, fandom would have maybe rallied a bit against that harmful rep (they did a few times in Glee to events.portrayals in canon, certainly), but when the finger’s pointed at them? Nope. Fandom, by and large, would not give even half of a shit. But they would be vocal here and there about being against racism, of how there needs to be more support for woc, especially in wlw fandom. Calling out #BlackLivesMatter while gleefully fetishizing black women is something I absolutely suspect would be common.

There’s a lot of issues in fandom. Trans fetishization is just one issue among a great many others. It’s the one I focus on, because it affects me directly, and I can speak on it and educate on it, but there’s absolutely racial fetishization in fandom. It’s rampant. And fandom spaces for LGBT+ fandom really do tend to mirror real life spaces. They’re white-centric and cis-centric for sure, to name a few pertinent issues. 

And they don’t think they’re transmisogynistic. They don’t think they’re racist. Many of them can’t even get a sniff that there’s anything wrong with the works they love that fetishize and dehumanize real marginalized groups of people. And there’s all that toxicity right under the surface, and too many aren’t willing to do anything about it.

“It’d cause too much drama for my liking”

“I don’t want to rustle feathers”

“I don’t want to get anon hate”

“I don’t want to upset anyone.”

“I don’t want to lose any friends”

“I come to fandom to escape and have fun, not to argue”

Except for those of us being dehumanized and fetishized and excluded, we don’t have the luxury of dipping into fandom all peacefully and comfortably. We don’t have the ability to just ignore the harm being done to us and move on, nor should we have to. 

Like, in real life, when folks see transphobia, or racism, and they do nothing? That can at times be understandable, if unfortunate. But online? There’s zero real risk/danger. There’s always, always ways to help. But people still shy away. When there’s practically an epidemic of people not commenting on fanworks, who’s going to put in the effort to fight these fights that isn’t already directly affected? Hardly anyone.

And I’ll admit there are times I could have done better, done more. I need to do better, there’s always room for improvement. 

I just need to hope there’s enough out there trying to make things better for some sort of positive change to happen. It’s just hard sometimes, as you know.

I’m here if you need me.