#bc i more than understand and am also invested in the boundaries of canon. but i also like doing what i want

[pyroexcape]

when you draw something just for self indulgence but then go too hard on it and get mad that you made it too cringe to share. this sideblog was an attempt to not care about that and draw things without worry but apparently there is no limit to what my brain is embarrassed about

[paradife-loft]

xiyao! :D

LAST ONE OH BOY 🎉🎉 sorry it took me so long to finish these, and thanks for the patience :’D

But ahh, xiyao <333

1. What made you ship it?

Would you believe I honestly don't remember?? Like, I don't know that I was paying a comparatively huge amount of attention to specifically the pair of them together (as opposed to just JGY in general as a secondary character) during my first watch; and then the first JGY fic I wrote actually had very little xiyao in it at all? But their interactions in the show itself were definitely a big part of it, even if I don't really remember what ended up plunging me fully into the deep end on this.

Like just - the combination of how clearly invested they are in each other, along with the sheer pain of the canonical ending they have? Like, I wouldn’t refer to it as a “betrayal” situation, per se, because I feel like it’s a lot more complicated than that, but the particular sort of tragedy of JGY’s downfall, and the way LXC is there for the entire thing, clearly hurting and confused and just wanting to understand? I think I’ve remarked on here before that even when I like a character or relationship in a story that gets a fairly happy ending, I tend to need that element of tragedy, of this narrative was not meant for you to triumph, to get... really sucked in and have a lot of staying power there. So xiyao it is :’D

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Ah, man, where and how to even begin... I think one of the big things is how much their interactions are bound up in the necessities of their public faces; how much they take expressions of courtesy and turn them into the most personal and meaningful rituals we see between people? How they have these public faces that are important, are deeply significant to who they are and how they’re comfortable moving around in the world, and are necessary for the kinds of positions that allow them to achieve what they find most important socially! - and then also, you peel back a layer or two, and get the absolute warmth and love and passionate care of their private selves, always turned toward one another.

Which then relates to - these are two political players, eventually leaders, and they have such a partnership and understanding on that level as well! They each understand how position and negotiation and compromise and sacrifice for a goal bigger than just yourself are fundamental pieces of the other, and they each live within those bounds - not always happily? But that these are two people whose relationship exists firmly within the world (even as it’s also an escape and respite from it), and they have that room made for outside responsibilities as simply a matter of course. (I think this is... something that appeals to me specifically as a facet of this relationship between two adults, at the place where I currently am in life, too.)

And lest I forget, of course - the extremely hot and also extremely emotionally cathartic D/s potential ;A; Like, I will ship a lot of things on primarily a kink basis, ngl, and especially here I feel like the introduction of a playing-with-power-dynamics-and-abdication-of-responsibility element just ties in so well with the thematic material both characters are dealing with in the text? Which, I mean, is why it’s compelling and makes sense on a characterisation level, for that matter. But also just. y’know. (LHK & ZZJ as) LXC & JGY are really attractive :’D

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

<Insert general suite of Aro Poly Opinions I have for p much every ship here, except even more intensely held as preferences bc I care about this ship and project on both characters A Lot>

Other than that... (I mean I feel like I’ve surrounded myself with a lot of likeminded people re: their dynamic, so what might be ~unpopular in the fandom at large feels certainly less so in my little bubble...) - oh, here’s one: I tend to think of them sleeping together as something that takes as while to happen, because they’re each so wary of each other’s boundaries, and JGY especially is full of neuroses and LXC doesn’t want to push for anything he’s not okay with. Like, different scenarios where they hop into bed pre- or immediately post-Sunshot can be fun to read, but they never quite ring true to me, and I think a certain amount of tension or trepidation around sex for a couple years into their relationship (even though they’re both very into each other) is pretty important to how I would characterise them.

Anyway, I’m sure there’s others I could think of if prompted more specifically, but... that’s what I’ve got! Thank you for the ask! <3

[pyroexcape]

I already commented on the post but

"#bc they are my own and not canon. and i don’t want people to think i’m wildly misunderstanding the character#bc i more than understand and am also invested in the boundaries of canon. but i also like doing what i want#and deconstructing and reconstructing narrative and characterization#and i feel like people won’t know that but i also feel so silly putting a disclaimer over everything i draw of being like#‘oh this is my own thing actually’ LOL"

I relate to that so hard with soooo many of my stories. Like I brought up my own version of The Boys™ but genuinely I feel this with so many of my interests. Like, Undertale most of them because it genuinely has a super deep complex story a lot of people tend to misunderstand or not care about or not get the themes, and I love talking about The Themes and How Cool The Game Is and Common Misconceptions

Then I make a fanfiction that's like. Nothing like canon even a little bit. Genuine it is sometimes the fucking opposite of the Point Of The Game and like if someone ever pointed that out to me I would shake them and go I KNOW I KNOW I CARE ABOUT IT WAY MORE THAN YOU DO LET ME EXPLAIN IN DETAIL JUST DON'T INSULT ME OVER IT I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING

YEAA U GET IT HAHA! i don’t feel that way about every series bc i like to think im pretty decent with Media Literacy and like to respect authors wishes whatnot but like.. in particular stuff that’s both extremely oversaturated to the public and/or purposefully vague enough in either character or plot so it has room for exploration (like pokemon and undertale) by its Very Nature people are gonna take it and run with it! that’s why so many of those undertale aus got crazy popular, people just like pondering the “what ifs” and i think that’s wonderful. on the other side i know how frustrating as it is to see people obviously misunderstand smth in a piece of work you hold dear but in the end i don’t think it’s very productive to be mad about esp if you don’t have Ownership over that work. for better or for worse putting things out there for an audience people will always engage with it differently and it’s fine tbh. in the end if u aren’t hurting anyone then who cares!

ON A SIDE NOTE thank u for the extremely nice tags and comments 😭😭 it’s smth that i get so easily self conscious about even if i know it doesn’t really matter but its always so kind to hear that you enjoy my stuff and can relate to my plights haha