#bc i'm pretty sure it's quite obvious lmao

[skele-bunny]

ngl I could've sworn ud mentioned phantom having kits at some point(idk WHEN or WHERE but I could've sworn there was SOMETHING) so I was. Looking to ask for more and found the phantom/aether instead and Had To Know :3

now im just thinking of what adjustments would be made for phantom,,,, sure tour wouldn't last the whole pregnancy but he's little, they'd have to tailor stuff probably. and then DEW??? I'm assuming ?? In the fics where dew had calida, bc zephyr was present, it was during popestar tour, so there was NOTHIN to hide that baby, unless she was just rlly far back and close to the spine for him.

Ooo you might be thinking of Phantom/Dew/Swiss' baby Starlight!! (Also, note, not the same timeline for Calida and Comet! Two whole seperate timelines /info)

Ohh yeah it'd be much different then Dew's whole thing 😭 guy had NO way of hiding, tight ass uniform until he got upgraded to one of Zeph's uniforms, his bass was his only thing but even that didn't help all the time LMAO. Terzo tried his best okay 🫡 give my man his props wjekdk /silly Dewdrop was a runt, so while she was pretty far back and hidden and he didn't have much of a bump, it was still obvious the further he got until 8 months

Dew essentially took the entire back of the bus, even after Calida was born. They still had a tour to do. And there was orders that they couldn't just cancel, so now they're in a panic of what exactly to do. Dew doesn't feel safe at ALL leaving Calida with someone. So, a quick call, and Special is there. For "interviews", of course. He's hanging out in the green room the entire time, and during intermission Dew is right there. It's only a week like that before he's able to just curl in the nest with her and finally, FINALLY heal up. He's been bleeding nonstop from the constant strain, and finally started letting the others help him out.

Dew had a pretty rough and traumatic pregnancy & birth, but he doesn't regret how anything went one bit. His little sunshine is worth every single second of it.

Now, Phantom would've been taken care of more properly. They know more, there's more studies being carried out, more accessibility services for the ministry. It's a different era! Plus, he has a bigger pack with more diversity and similar instincts. Rain, Aurora, and Cumulus would be their biggest comforts. When they needs a good cry? Those 3. When he needs reassurance he'll be a good parent? Those 3. Just wants to be dotted and loved on? Those 3.

Mountain and Dew are his safe guards and their voice when he can't find it. One of the stagehands got irritated at Phantom bc he "wasn't doing anything and just standing around holding cords", and Mountain just glared so hard and quite literally told them to shut the fuck up. Picked Phantom up, sat him on his drum throne, and kept working.

Just like Dew would've been, he's not allowed to carry heavy items any more so they're stuck on cord duty, stick bag, and the softer percussion items. Not allowed to be alone, either. Slipped one time and that was already too many. Usually has someone accompany him to the bathroom, out and about in town, he just... Can't be alone. Honestly? It helps Phantom, too. Not only for safety but they feel better that someone is always there.

He's given permission for naps during set up once he's finished, and a lot of sitting breaks! Also like Dew, Phantom's anatomy is tiny. Aether wants them on bed rest as much as possible as he's a high risk essentially. So during shows you'll see him sitting on the steps or on Swiss' platform! He totally keeps up their silly antics the best he can that doesn't pose a risk!

Definitely tailoring, and has to have cooling pads placed in his uniform before performances as he gets super sick from the heat.

Silly thought I had midway writing this: Magick surges are still there and progressively gets worse the more he's along.

Phantom sneezes, and his guitar strings just break instantly.

Maybe they're crying really hard and sets off more light flickering before just shutting off their equipment completely.

Maybe a little rage fit because he's mad at themself, or just something that set them off, and Cirrus' phone short circuits and the screen cracks.

Pray for Aether. /Silly /aff

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi Cas ! how are you ?

I'm struggling in the romance department right now lmao so I thought you might have some advice :(

Basically there is this girl I really REALLY like. We met through a friend three years ago, but in person only a year ago. Seeing her in person literally changed me I never liked someone this much like I was BEWITCHED or something. We only spent two days together and we only had one kiss, but I never managed to get her out of my head.

I never saw her again because she left to study abroad for a year. Now she's back in my country but we live a bit far away so I haven't seen her. When she was abroad we kept talking and flirting etc. But at one point she told me she had met somebody and that she wanted to try with him. It ended up not working and she reached out to me after some time, so we began talking (and flirting) again.

The thing is, for a few weeks now I feel like she isn't exactly flirting with me anymore. Except she kinda is. She is a writer and she has a writing instagram account where she posted poems that are clearly romantic but also clearly not about me. At least I really don't think so. It feels like a knife in the heart everytime. To be noted that usually if not always she does write about personal things that are really happening. So I'm pretty sure there is someone else in her mind. Which is fine because we didn't promise each other anything. But she is still replying to my stories etc and saying things that could pass as friendly but only if we didn't have history you know ? Like she's making lesbian jokes (i'm also a girl).

So the mixed signals are killing me. I also don't understand bc she said something about the guy before, but she didn't say anything this time. I feel like maybe she .... keeps her options open. (which is fine btw, I'm just unsure if she's still into me or not) I can't exactly ask her because we don't talk a lot (I'm so bad at keeping in touch if I have nothing specific to say yk?) and I don't want to come off as intrusive.

I would really like to see her in person so maybe we could talk and/or I could understand better where her heart is at. But being so unsure I don't want to propose a date or something bc I feel like it would be really out of the blue right now, and one of us would have to take the train and sleep at the other's place, so it feels like a lot and something she could refuse easily so I really don't feel comfortable doing that. I want it to be clear that I'm still into her bc I don't know if she is aware of it (it's obvious imo but I know she has confidence issues and at one point she thought I didn't care) but I also don't want to come off too strong and scare her away, and/or get rejected (not sure my heart could take it right now😭)

So I'm thinking maybe an outing with friends (we have several in common now) but again it is complicated bc everyone lives far away. Also she doesn't talk to one of them anymore, and that friend coul take it very badly if she's not invited so that would be a whole other mess (but honestly that friend is annoying and quite toxic and has a lot of issues so... I'm trying not to think too much of that)

Anyway I'm really lost, I really don't to give up on her, like it hurts a lot to think about, but also I feel like maybe she isn't as invested as I am. I would 100% take a train to the other side of the country to see her but I fear she isn't even thinking about that. Maybe I'm paranoid though. Also I think it's not so bad if someone isn't completely in it from the beginning, like some people are more guarded and careful than me and it's okay.

I don't know if you'll be able to help me, but I'd really like to hear your opinion on this. Thanks a lot <3

Hi!!! <3

What you said at the end is exactly what I was thinking though- maybe she's just guarded or nervous? I think you should try to give little hints or like...idk suggest meeting somewhere maybe? See how she reacts? Maybe she's just as nervous, if not more nervous than you. If she's iffy about it, it'll make it clear to you that she just wants to be friends. But if she jumps at the chance, then that's your sign. And even if you can't meet in person, maybe try being a bit more forward? I know it's scary but like...you have to know! You don't have to all-out ask her out, just be a bit more flirty and see if she reciprocates. You said you've kissed in the past so in my opinion, that means there's hope, you know?

Good luck! Naming you train anon.

[cinnamonest]

Hiiiiii !! I hope you're doing okay!

Not quite your usual ask as this will concern Genshin women (I hope that's alright), but I've been thinking about your Male Majority AU A LOT. It became a big fav of mine and I'd really like to write some OS (or even a multi-chap fic) about it sometimes.

I was wondering, what do you think the playable girls are/have become in this AU ? I imagine most of them end up the same fate as Reader, but what about those originally in high power such as Jean, Ningguang, Ganyu, Kokomi, etc,,.

Please know your MMAU and Hybrids posts are some of my favourites, though all of your writings are great. Have a nice day!!

AHHHH thank you <3333 I'm so glad bc I love it to and omg I loved making this so much. Words cannot express how much I love the girls and making fictional girls I love suffer is my lifeblood so this was a blessing to receive ( ´ ω ` ) I would love to write another one of these soon too, I didn't get around to Ningguang  this time but I'd like to eventually (and also Lisa love of my life, and Shenhe too) but I did get several gorls here.

In case that isn't clear enough for everyone: this is bad things happening to the girl cast. Past experience tells me a lot of people are much more sensitive to this sort of thing as opposed to reader-inserts (which is totally fine, I understand why) but basically, if you do not like the thought of female characters going through similar things I write reader-inserts going through, you will want to skip this.

I know it can be character-specific for some people's discomfort, so, while most of the girls are mentioned at least a little, these are the ones with more detailed entries: (Amber, Noelle, Xinyan, Fischl, Lumine, Mona, Ganyu, Kokomi, Sara, Beidou)

Warnings: the usual for the AU (misogyny, fairly dark overall, prostitution, sex slavery etc), mentions of classism, very brief mention of arranged marriages between distant relatives but nothing enough to warrant the actual incest tag, also intense pain/blood mention on Ganyu's (also forgive me but I was obligated to reference the horn-snapping thing lmao)

------

First some more general summary/worldbuilding:

The obvious glaring issue to be addressed here, is what happens regarding visions. It's rare to see a girl get one (they usually have the ambition and willpower broken out of them pretty early on), but sometimes they will get them when they're very young, before, you know, they have their spirits totally crushed by the brutal realities of the world and all that.

It's seen as sort of a red flag, a warning sign that the individual is going to be more rebellious and independently-minded than most. That being said, it can be put to good use. Dendro and hydro in particular have a lot of domestic uses. It's also something that could be a potential selling point, that often ends up getting them aligned with specific occupations. If you're a farmer, for example, having a girl that can quite literally make plants grow or water them in a few seconds' time is quite useful, so they'll often seek them out. If you're a common fisherman, you could really benefit from being able to electrocute water, and then just have to wait for all the dead fish to come floating to the surface and net them up. Vision-havers often make for good partners with such individuals in this way, and the girls are often very willing to comply and be partners, since it means getting to live with a singular person or a small handful of people, a much easier life than prostitution or the like.

Pyro, geo, and cryo, however, are seen as a lot more problematic, due to their high damage potential and relative lack of use for anything besides combative purposes. Sure, maybe the first can light the occasional fire at night, the other two can maybe make a path to cross a river or something, but outside of a handful of specific scenarios, they're not as immediately useful, and a lot more dangerous to whoever they decide to blast a burst of fire or ice or a huge chunk of rock at.

Firstly, they don't get weapons, which significantly limits the potential to cause harm. Their range is far smaller, and the output of energy far less. Still, they can harm those who come close, so more action is often necessary. Total destruction has unknown effects, and removing it far from their person leads to a sort of mental shutdown based on experimentation, so the best solution is to merely keep it close, but not in their possession. Usually it's just handed over to whoever happens to be the legal guardian or owner, who keeps it on their person, and gives it over when it can be useful. Some, of course, come to trust their property enough that they just let them have it at all times, but that's a rarer occurrence.

It's also seen as, or at least presented as, a benevolent thing. Oh, you can't have that. You're going to accidentally hurt yourself with it. Give it to me and I'll take good care of it. Such is one of many excuses given to them when they're first found holding one. Younger girls tend to obey out of naivete. Older ones who are a bit smarter might not fall for that, though, in which case, more forceful and less nice measures are needed to extract the thing.

Any girl can get a vision, though, and it's not really that big of a role in where you end up, aside from positively increasing the chances of not being locked into a brothel lifestyle. Instead, unfortunately, the class you're born into is more or less the primary determinant of your fate.

Yes, those born into elite families do have a significant advantage, as their families essentially bribe the authorities to look the other way for a lot of matters, or are often government/military officials themselves and get to keep their offspring safe as a perk of their power. Keqing, Eula, and Ayaka would probably have the best situations out of anyone. Keqing wouldn't exactly have any real power or significance, and likewise Eula wouldn't be allowed to be a knight, but they'd be safe, which is what really matters.

Elite, wealthy noble families usually just keep girls inside at all times, they essentially never leave the confines of their estates, and usually are well-guarded at all times. The way this is done often varies -- in Liyue and Inazuma they have sprouted the tradition of eunuchs, and it's common for families to have a few accompanying the girls at all times. Ayaka and Keqing would basically be confined to their families' respective estate grounds, and any desire to get up and go anywhere inherently necessitates being accompanied by two or three of said armed eunuchs, likely whose sole job is caring for them. Likewise, they can't get anything for themselves, so it's common for these guards to also function as servants, fetching even the most basic of things because it's preferable to having the girl get up or anything.

For Mondstadt, it's really just more common that as soon as the girl is old enough, she's married off to a distant relative, whom she stays by the side of at virtually all times. Any resentment of your family's ways or personal dislike for them doesn't matter -- a girl who has spite towards her family will be reprimanded and, if necessary, punished to the point where there is essentially no choice but to abide by the enforced mannerisms. Smile, stay by their side, act loving and subservient.

Which would be difficult for someone like Eula, but it's not as if there's any alternative. She's raised from early on to be this way, and her family consistently tries to reshape her more independent attitude. Even then, there's an easy fact to guilt her with: if her family wasn't caring for her, what would happen to her then? If you hate him so much, how would you like to be thrown out into the streets instead? Aren't you grateful we would never do that? So if one doesn't want that to happen, you should be very, very grateful that you have a loving family willing to arrange such a good match for you.

Some who are born to simply caring families also have somewhat of an advantage, even if they're not necessarily nobility or very wealthy types.

However, being in positions of power or authority, organizational/combative/local government-ordained occupations, or even highly respected occupations is... kind of unheard of. So anyone like Jean, Kokomi, Sara, and Yelan would be unable to fulfill the roles they otherwise had, at least in the leadership aspect. The very thought would be laughable. Likewise, you wouldn't see some girl being into the legal sphere like Yanfei, nor any sort of business operation like Hu Tao.

They still work in those areas, just have more of a backseat role. Jean still "works" for the knights -- got married to (read: bought by) a higher-rank, and now gets to perform little odd tasks as needed, gets to sit and listen during meetings and the like. Likewise, the Hu family funeral business was instead passed to the closest male descendent, not just the closest descendant. Hu Tao still gets to help out around the place -- they did pay for approval to marry her off to the guy after all. It's not that weird, they're quite distantly related, and very normal for the Liyue culture, much like the Mondstadt culture.

However, for some, being born middle-class highly increases your chances of being private property and not public property, but in a different way than just staying in the family. Unlike what you might initially think, black markets for human trafficking can actually be advantageous to the girls rather than the opposite, depending on the market.

See, the norm is that when one is born to lower or middle-class families, it's put into records so that once the girl is old enough (they're given an extra year or two of leeway if you ask for it at least) most regions have official agencies that are tasked with collecting them and taking them to be "officially" assigned to either be given to some high-rank government member, sold to someone, or, if none of those, just given to legal, taxed brothels. Since families strongly desire to avoid the last option, and yet, because they would have no control over the matter (even if she goes to a singular individual, they still have no say in who), they've developed a common underhanded strategy. Pay illegal traffickers to more or less take the girl before they're set to be collected, and pay exuberant amounts of money for her safety. In exchange, the standard is that these higher-status black markets essentially do background checks to ensure the girl is sold off to someone who isn't violent, abusive, or otherwise awful. Then they just tell authorities that she ran away, and that they can't do anything.

Similarly, under official standards, families not only have no control, but no knowledge -- most governments have decided it's more... conducive to social harmony that the families are cut off entirely, that they have no way of finding out what happened to the girl, where she is now, or ever communicating with her again. These paid black markets, thus, also establish a policy that in order to ensure the good treatment of the girl, the buyer has to allow her to have written communication with the family (if literate), or sometimes allowed visits. If the family reports that they haven't heard from her, the traffickers' role then is to essentially send the middle men whose job is to threaten and, if a repeated offense, beat the living daylights out of the uncooperative party. It works out for everyone involved.

Those who are common people, though, who can't afford to pay off illicit traders nor bribe officials into letting them keep them, are out of luck.

This is also where the bad kind of black markets come in, the cheaper, lower standards kind. Not that families pay them anything. But working families who can't afford guards often leave their wives, daughters, and so on inside, and especially the more naive sheltered ones will often times venture out, convinced that they'll be okay if they just stay close to home. Some very rural families believe they're safer because they're isolated, and may let their daughters or wives or sisters go roaming around their farm or pastures, telling them to just be careful and always stay close.

But that's not good enough, when you have people lurking and waiting for that kind of opportunity. There will always be some that prowl about, looking for the occasional girl that just went out on the porch to water the flowers or feed the animals, just for a split second, so it's no big deal... but a person can be grabbed and snatched up, gagged and tied within less than a minute, if you know what you're doing as they do. And you can have them sold off for a small profit by the end of the night, and it's not like the families can afford to hire investigative services (which are, here, insanely overpriced and only available to a select few deemed important enough to deserve them, otherwise everyone would constantly be utilizing them, and often primarily employed by the government as runaway hunters more than anything).

But onto individual girls and their misfortunes...

-----------

There are some girls used in various performing arts, and this can be a pathway out of a much worse alternative life for some. If you have a skill or talent, honing it to perfection is highly advised, as it's one way to go from potentially living a large majority of your life as a breeding machine or onahole and instead having some sense of individuality and time to yourself.

Generally, there is a prevailing cultural mentality that you have to be put to some sort of "use" every waking second. For this reason, communal girls generally don't get a whole lot of free time -- you have to spend every moment doing something, even if it's not necessarily actively having sex. Still have to be talking and entertaining the company of some boy, being a pretty eyecandy piece at some sort of meeting, and so on.

But if you have some extra skill that provides some sort of value (that is, a performative skill of some kind, as any academic or particularly intellectual talents will be smothered like an unwanted spark instead), you can, albeit still controlled by some sort of manager of some kind, have a lot more room to breathe and exist on your own. You get some semblance of time to yourself because practice is important and all that. It's more like idol culture -- the girls are revered by masses and elevated to goddess status, worshipped and adored... and kept far away from their fans.

Consequently, Barbara, Xinyan, Nilou, and Yun Jin have an advantage. Xinyan's situation is a bit unique, though, because of the mentality with which it's approached, as well as the garb with which it's performed.

Yun Jin is a bit better off than them because for starters, she's more or less fully covered, but also because people have a sense of reverence for a valued piece of long-standing culture, so they're less aggressive and pushy. Likewise, while Nilou might be dressed... like that, but again, the whole reverence of tradition comes in, and she's kept up on a wide stage far away from viewers, the whole practice is very well-known and has a lot of funding to hire guards. Barbara keeps up the whole "pure" appeal, which also makes her seem a little more "untouchable," in addition to the general taboo that nuns are entirely off-limits. Regardless, several regions' legislation more or less forbids "celebrity prostitution" -- the act of a manager or production company making a girl famous for some sort of talent, only to start making more of a profit off of her body (something that happened enough times that they felt it necessary to make laws against it, even, although it's more about preventing profit that can't be taxed, more than for the sake of the girl).

Liyue is not one of those nations. It allows for such things due to, predictably, far stricter taxation practices that ensure it won't go unnoticed. And the culture of rock music is quite different from the others, a much less reverent sort of thing.

It's more high-energy and blood-pumping, the performers are known to get rather physically close to their audiences, and it's viewed as more pop culture rather than a sacred, historical tradition. Thus, people have less reverence, and thereby see the performers as less... untouchable. And if they don't view her as untouchable, that spells some problems, and a tendency for entitlement rears its ugly head.

It's not a sacred tradition, so why shouldn't they get touching and groping and sex as part of the after-show?? One huge gangbang would be a perfect finale to a such a heated, high-energy experience.

And unfortunately, it's not really her call to make. The only condition under which she can perform in the first place is by having a manager, and in this case, said manager decides that essentially running a post-performance prostitution side show would be incredibly profitable.

Which is a very accurate prediction. While rock music may not be as popular in Liyue at first, she slowly accumulates a fanbase, and while it's still somewhat of a niche, said niche is a cult following of rabidly obsessive fans. Does a portion of the reason behind her following have to do with those nice exposed thighs? Perhaps. Of course, said fans are also genuinely into the music, but there's no reason to not obsess over the performer too.

So imagine if, for comparison, the average dude had the opportunity to sleep with an idol well-known in her niche, and that's basically what happens here. They're willing to pay insane amounts of money just to touch, and even more to go further. The fame means that she makes far more mora per customer than the average prostitute, too (the reason it's outlawed in some places, since it's difficult to trace the purchases from an individual and not a brothel, at least in other nations). And as with many sorts of celebrity-fan interactions, it's more than just sex -- you can pay to actually sit down and spend time with the girl (very closely monitored of course, so they don't take more than what they paid for), for however long you're willing to pay for. Still, for both her and the other performer-type girls, this setup is still infinitely better than being in an actual brothel or owned by someone -- a fact which all talent managers are very quick to remind their performers of, a sort of quiet looming threat that if the girls can't keep up the singing or dancing or acting or whatever they do, then that's where they'll end up.

As for her, well, she has a rambunctious spirit and all, but conversations with creepy guys aren't exactly the ideal way to spend one's time. There's a lot of o-oh, uh... thanks...? in response to some compliments she might get. Keep in mind, there's no culture of respect or politeness in which guys are informed that such comments are not really going to be perceived as compliments, that a girl might not be all that flattered by it. So because it's totally appropriate in their minds, the most vulgar, disgusting strings of words you can imagine are much more likely to be given out as compliments -- although it's with complete sincerity and coming from a good intention, so, she can't bring herself to be too upset... and besides, she's supposed to say thanks and smile and take it or the manager might get mad.

And it's exhausting. Day after day. As if performances weren't tiring enough. Some people start to notice -- she looks less energetic than usual. She seems tired. She's oddly quiet. It creates some concern. This ultimately leads to an incident in which she ends up passing out on stage out of sheer exhaustion, and that's pretty significant when you consider the amount of weariness it takes for that to happen to such a naturally high-energy person.

Which actually warrants a quick questioning from a medical worker that's called for her, the contents of said conversation end up reaching law enforcement, and turns out, it'll not legal to work her that much. There's labor laws in this nation, after all. Out with the old manager, in with a new one. After that, she gets a much more balanced schedule, is allowed to take days off even... before going right back to it. Phew. The music industry is tough.

------

A very, very, very few girls make a life by themselves.

Is it legal? No. Do they take the risk anyway? Of course, if you can you might as well. In any universe, you can get away with quite a lot by simply pretending you're allowed to. It's really astounding sometimes just how much you can do by just acting like you're exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. Sometimes you have to dress or look the part, though.

Which is fairly easy for Mona, having the ability to make yourself disappear into a faint trail of water. Steal a collar when no one is looking, put it on, and there you go, you look like you belong to someone. Forge papers yourself in case someone gets nosy, and no one will really suspect you did it, since the default assumption is that you can't read or write.

A lot of people think it's very careless for someone to let a girl go walking around on her own, but then again, if that's the case, then it's probably someone really powerful and rich, and no one would want to get on the bad side of someone like that. So, incredibly, people sort of leave her alone, keep a distance from her even. At first, of course, she was naturally terrified it wouldn't work, but it surprisingly goes over quite well. After a while of living off of scraped-together funds (stolen from her own teacher and former legal guardian right around the time of reaching the sell-off-able age, before running off and high-tailing it halfway across the continent), she has to make a living somehow, and decides to do so the same way she would otherwise.

The whole "something you don't see everyday" aspect adds a sort of mysterious and exciting appeal that actually draws in customers. The idea that something is rare and valuable, something that captivates so much attention, sort of subconsciously lends her credibility, people take her word as fact. If it was just any other guy, they'd be less likely to even pay attention, much less believe the predictions, but the whole rarity and uniqueness sort of aligns with the esoteric nature of astrology, it seems fitting and authentic and thereby real.

The stature and physique catches the eye due to standing out amongst crowds (and the garb she ends up wearing certainly helps), they do a double take before coming closer out of curiosity, and usually end up paying for the services. Of course, many ask for additional services, assuming it's available, but those collars sort of serve as an equivalent to how another universe would have wedding rings -- when you point to it, they realize you're off-limits, usually sulking away in disappointment, but not wanting to invoke the wrath of some other guy by pushing further.

She also manages to bribe a local into letting her perform the rental apartment process because he's busy and can't make it today, so he told me to do it, I can sign for it... and turns out they'll allow it if you push. Coming to Mondstadt was a good choice after all, there's no way this would go over so well anywhere else.

One can get around for quite some time like that. But even in the freest nation on the map, it's still bound to come apart at some point.

As with any sort of crime, law enforcement do not like discovering that they have been in some way deceived for an extended period of time. It's embarrassing for them even under normal circumstances, and infinitely more so to have let something like this go right under their noses for months. It feels like her heart stops, hearing a knock on the door and a gruff voice that is definitely not the landlord, saying to open up the door. But the excuses aren't going to work this time, and trying to run away by slipping into the illusory torrent only leads to getting exhausted and coming out of it in the middle of the square in the center of town, only to be immediately tackled by knights in front of an entire crowd (watching with some combination of amusement and entrancement -- hey, look, the tights ripped...)

Damned landlord has been suspicious for a while now, but hey, she was paying for that unit no one else would take. But when she's no longer able to make those payments and ends up running several days late on rent, he realizes he can probably get a lot more money for sending in a tip to the knights about suspicions of criminal activity. Which is true -- it's well-known that, in all nations, there's a standard monetary reward for finding any runaways or otherwise unaccounted for or hidden girls, and potentially even more money if it turns out they're missing from a wealthy owner.

No such case here, due to that timing -- run off right before being sold or given to someone, so they'll have to find someone new. First, though, in cases like this, there's a crucial reeducation and remedial treatment to undergo first...

---

Gangs and treasure hoarders and eremites and all that still exist of course.

And so do pirates. Joining these types of gangs can also be an ideal route to obtaining sex for an otherwise sexless young man. See, oftentimes they will scrape their funds together and buy a communal slave of sorts. Of course there's a lot of bickering whenever the time finally comes to make that purchase -- one guy says he wants a girl with big tits, but another guy wants small tits, this one wants a young one and this guy wants an older one... eventually, either a compromise is reached, one guy with the most authority makes the decision, or, in a rather comical display to an outside observer, they may even take a vote on the matter.

Which is exactly what the Crux fleet does. There were a lot of differing tastes among the men, the vote that ultimately wins (by a single vote, much to the chagrin of those who voted otherwise, but oh well) was a set of characteristics: not particularly young nor particularly older, big tits and big thighs. Or, in the eloquent words of the member who initially proposed this set of features, 'thick as fuck.' Quite the win for the enthusiasts of said traits.

That being said, no one really decided on a personality or anything, so the guy sent to actually go buy the new resident ship slave didn't think much of it.

This poor woman has been through a lot. She's old enough to have been out in the world for some years now, constantly thrown about from one lifestyle and environment to the next. And she has a bit of an... attitude. 'Fiery spirit' is how the vendor worded it. Never been privately owned, always got the short end of the stick and sent to brothels instead. After a while, that really starts to wear on a person's psyche, especially someone stubborn and prideful by nature. Constantly having that pride stamped out creates a lot of resentment. The last of said brothel owners had finally had enough of her tendencies to cause problems, and sent her off. But if anyone can handle that, pirates would be able to, right? So they essentially shove her off on them for a low price.

Some of the members are practically intimidated by the woman. She's not a particularly grouchy or mean person, and is actually good-natured, but she has a bold energy to her. And as it turns out, she doesn't do things just because you tell her to. Scary. Aren't they supposed to be really soft and gentle?? What gives?

Well, it's probably a matter of time, right? Kind of like when you get a dog, and it may be skittish before it adjusts. They just remain hopeful about the matter... it's not like they can hold back anyway.

See, the thing about brothels is that they're still regulated. Despite the whole "need to be put to use" mentality, for health concerns, the girls get breaks each day, they get to take days off per month. The people who run brothels are usually fairly well-educated enough to know that such things are necessary. A bunch of pirates, many of whom have never touched a girl in their lives? Much less so. Why can't she just keep going 24/7? If there's thirty or so of them, that's not enough to spread one hour each evenly!

Or, wait... she probably needs to sleep right? Do the females sleep less or more than normal people? Or is it the same? They end up just having to ask her. Interestingly, plenty of guys have a lot of misconceptions like that -- some tend to greatly overestimate the concept of dimorphic differences, and think of the other sex as a foreign species or the like whose bodies work entirely differently or something, and are surprised to learn that yes, they eat and sleep just the same, they have complex thoughts and wants, they can remember things that happened recently, and so on. Regardless, this unfortunately means they can't all get some every day, so they end up having to evenly divide time. And with time, they learn to be less intimidated, and more commanding. Surely with enough time (and enough mileage of cock), she'll start being less standoffish.

Of course, there's also the issue of keeping her sort of secretive -- if other rival groups were to find out about her, it would be motivation enough for others to raid their ship, possibly getting them all killed. So for the most part, they keep her below deck... turns out though, that has some negative consequences. How come she's all still and lethargic and unresponsive? Are they sensitive to lack of sunlight, like normal people are? Seems like evolution would have gotten rid of need for sun and fresh air by now.

Well, they can take her out during the day, as long as they keep close watch and all. They just hurriedly stuff her back down there if some other ship approaches. Likewise, she's contraband, technically. Obviously they didn't go to a legal market, so they have no papers or anything. This makes it... difficult when arriving in ports that have active law enforcement posted and checking around. Hope she's okay with being gagged and stuffed in a barrel for a couple of hours.

One could find the ways of the will of the universe quite humorous, if you stop to think about it -- in another universe, they'd be taking orders from the same girl they now have bent over every surface of the ship on a daily basis, would be relying on her to take down large enemies too. Fate works in interesting ways.

---

Some roles, in contrast, remain the same in title, but simply take on new meanings and responsibilities.

The divine priestess of Watatsumi, for example, has a very critical job! She is revered, an object of awe and adoration... and a sort of holy prostitute.

They take the whole idea of her being a healer to a maximum extent. It is believed that by having intercourse with the priestess, you will obtain divine blessing and good fortune. Consequently, she's trained specifically for the position. Kokomi gets stamina and endurance training, flexibility training, and so on. So that by the time she finally starts to officially begin fulfilling the role, she'll be perfect at performing the responsibilities that said role entails. Each and every day she can spend hours satiating the needs of her very loyal and adoring soldiers.

Sometimes this means one-on-one sessions with individual soldiers (the promise of getting to have the priestess to yourself for an entire hour is quite the way to motivate the troops to perform tasks, and a morale boost too!), and sometimes it means taking a long line of them, one after the other.

Of course, some might say it's merely a natural, hormonal thing, but if you were to ask them, they believe that the resulting increased motivation in the troops, their increased vigor and elevated mood, yet simultaneous tranquility and lack of stress or hostility with each other, is a divine act of providence, and evidence to the validity of the priestess's deified nature. After spending much of her day tending to healing physical wounds, she also heals the hearts and minds of the soldiers too, with her mere presence (and body).

It really goes beyond being a priestess. See, in the religious canon that has evolved over centuries of development of folk beliefs on the island, she's technically a vessel that carries and serves as a messenger for an elder fertility goddess. Due to this, she's also seen as a predictor of fortune in the social sense -- the divine priestess being impregnated is supposed to be a positive omen for the people of the island as a whole, indicating birthrate prosperousness for the near future. It's somewhat akin to how traditional folk beliefs would say this or that sign indicates an upcoming good harvest or the like.

It's all done with what is, to an outside observer, a bizarre and even comical sort of seriousness and reverence. They take the matter very seriously and stake great importance on it, exhibit religious-like austerity while essentially running a train on the poor girl.

Sometimes it is akin to a religious ceremony. Once a month, on full moon nights (when it is believed hydro is at it's maximum power, given the connection to tides and all that), they have essentially a huge, one-girl orgy, consuming the entire night, complete with lots of food and alcohol. If the priestess were to be impregnated at that time, it's said that would produce an incredibly powerful soldier one day. So they all give it their best to pump her all full as possible.

And if one soldier in particular is having a rough time of it, shows a lot of signs of stress or depression, they just send him on his way to go straight to her. Sometimes even if a guy is sick or something, they do the same, and if he gets better after some time (you know, like the body tends to naturally do on its own when you get a cold) then they claim it to be the medicinal properties of her body and fluids that can heal even illness! Incredible. Although sometimes this means the priestess herself gets sick in return. This, they believe, is basically her using her divine power to remove the illness from the man and taking it upon herself instead. Such a self-sacrificing, benevolent priestess she is, to do that for them. They're eternally grateful.

Oh, but of course, none of this means she has any sort of authority or anything. Other leaders are still appointed to take care of the actual decision-making and all that. After all, she's priceless, worshipped, the object of awe and devotion and adoration, but at the end of the day she's still... you know.

But the Resistance soldiers aren't the only ones that get a sharable group pet. Of course, having that resource (read: pussy) readily available is crucial to the success and morale of soldiers. So the shogunate forces get a toy as well, even if theirs is not quite as revered, nor as... compliant.

Likewise, though, the Kujou clan does traditionally take this responsibility on, so like Kokomi, Sara was more or less well-aware all her life this would one day be her fate, and was prepared accordingly. She's not particularly eager or accepting of it, though, in fact is quite resentful. Some girls are like that -- they just don't have the capacity to comprehend the bigger picture of the world, so they're resentful and rebellious and don't understand why the hierarchy and order of things is so important. They view the subservience as humiliating or something, but it's really not, it's an honor and a privilege and she should feel very proud of it... unless of course they want it to be an act of humiliation and degradation, in which case it is. But she's not supposed to feel that way unless they want her to at the moment, of course.

But propriety is of great importance to Inazuman culture, and really hammered into people's heads as something to be valued, so... if these are the duties that are in place, so be it. These guys are a bit rougher, they lack the same sense that what they're shoving their cock in is a divine being, so they can be more impatient and demanding. That doesn't mesh very well with her personality, as you might imagine. Narrowed eyes, a sternness to her voice telling them to be patient and wait their turns... but they can just ignore that. Alternate solutions exist, of course, she's got plenty of holes, and they can be stretched to accommodate more than one person at a time, too. She also can't argue against it if her mouth is full.

They're still respectful, to an extent, and they appreciate her a lot! But she's also scary to some... she walks a fine line wherein she's liked for her contributions, especially a lot of the younger or newer boys are very fond of her, approach her smiling... but the smile wavers due to her intimidating aura. That being said, as she's frequently subjected to rather degrading treatment, being able to bend her over at any given time is an experience that helps a lot of new recruits shake off that intimidation. They still love her though! Even if she's not particularly nice or affectionate.

For a lot of them, it's quite literally the only female interaction they have ever had, so they take even the slightest kind words or praise or willing touch as a sign of affection, and cling to it like their lives depend on it. They become desperate for more, hungry for more little droplets of affection, or even favor, if they could manage to be so lucky. Plenty of guys have received a polite gesture or her slumping over on them out of exhaustion post-coitus, and gone on to inform their entire squad that he is now her favorite, based on this clear evidence. All of said positive interactions with her are considered great bragging rights amongst them.

And much like with the opposing forces, they also tend to have large-scale, orgy-like events at regular intervals with a sort of ceremonial flair to it. Kujous produce very strong and intelligent soldiers, so the hope is that with the sperm of so many men inside her all at once, surely only the strongest will manage to impregnate, producing the best offspring possible. In one form of service or another, she's just as vital to their success either way.

-----

And much like Inazuma, Mondstadt also values the health and well-being of their knights. But Mondstadt has less of an orderly culture focused on propriety and all that, so the knights are a bit less patient and more aggressive in their pursuits -- leading to conflict and sometimes subsequent injury when fighting over a girl. Consequently, they add some more funding to the communal sex budget, and get more than one.

Now, as mentioned previously, girls born into noble families like Eula are essentially protected from this sort of thing, so they usually obtain ones born to normal households, who didn't quite make the cut to be protected by becoming nuns either.

Which is a possibility -- joining a nunnery is one of the very few ways in Teyvat to completely escape being some sort of pet or slave. However, given the... exceptionally large number of applicants, while also having very limited space, they can't just take in everyone, so it's usually on a first-come first-serve basis if a space is open, or if you have some sort of benefit to them. Barbara, for example, much like Xinyan previously, is marketed as an idol and draws in revenue, all while remaining off-limits to the crowds of fans. Rosaria has her own set of skills, and, well, she was one of those "right place right time" individuals who just so happened to come along when a slot was available.

Amber and Noelle would have likely not been as lucky, but they didn't really consider it anyway, both are pretty happy in their roles. That being said, applying for the knights is also a much better outcome than public brothels, so they're fairly content where they are. Both are very spirited and dedicated girls who give it their all! They're very committed to being helpful and properly performing the job description. Genuinely, both are fairly content -- being in a world where it's all so normal, this is considered a pretty good life to be living, and they're both rather happy to be useful and do their best. Jean was lucky enough to actually marry someone, so she's off-limits to most of the knights, but these two are instead at the beck and call of anyone who needs them.

Of course, higher-ranked knights get their needs prioritized, but even after they're done, the lower-ranks can have some too. They're also very well-protected; in general, even brothels try to take care of the girls' well-being as much as they can, but that's harder when you're working with large numbers and need to make a profit, so sometimes those girls are just told to tolerate things they'd rather not. But in this case, with just the two of them, if someone mistreats them in any way, it's grounds for immediate reprimand and punishment. After all, the harmony of the whole atmosphere is largely dependent on the two of them -- when they're happy and all bright and bubbly, it lifts everyone else's spirits as well, keeps up the morale.

It's all very normalized to go through the meetings with one of them crawling around under the table, moving her mouth from one to the next as it drones on. Even afterwards, when some individuals come up to ask questions after the meeting, there's always some guy fucking one girl over the long meeting table on the other side of the room. Sometimes they have to tell them to quiet down. Sex is generally freely given, just depends on who is busy at a time, and they're patient enough to form lines most of the time. Sleeping is a much more involved process though -- with so many knights, they have to coordinate a sleeping schedule so that each one gets to have a nice warm body to hold at night once a month or so.

Oh, and of course, they take care of some small tasks too. Noelle tends to prefer cleaning up and staying in headquarters, while Amber tends to go out with exploration patrols and the like (they have to have at least one, what are they supposed to do if they get horny in the middle of patrol if they don't have an immediately available hole??), and she can do little things like set fires, light lamps, make food, all of which are more or less the only use her vision ever gets.

------

But unlike them, everything is so much infinitely worse when you're someone coming from somewhere... normal. Poor Lumine.

Most girls are just born into the system -- to a family, from which their fate is determined by class and by the whims of auctioneers who determine if they get sold or go to public use, and a few by special circumstances.

So when some girl just sort of appears out of nowhere, there's a bit of confusion on to what should even be done.

She's smart and observant and all, so she would know something is wrong. Walking into the city gates and being met with wide-eyed stares, the sort of surprise where people freeze up in the middle of some task and go completely still, fixated on her, slack-jawed and eyebrows raised.

There are plenty of reasons, though, to imagine why this might be. She does stand out, clothing and all, or maybe there's some feature she has that doesn't exist in people here that she hasn't noticed yet. With such a crowd as the bustling city, it's easy to not immediately notice the singular glaring difference between oneself and everyone else.

That doesn't last long, though. Sure, she might have been doing something against cultural norms, but being apprehended? That's a little too far! What could the problem possibly be, that this is necessary? Or that's her train of thought, suddenly feeling a sense of dread as a group of three or so knights surround her, tell her to come with them, refuse to answer why.

Rather bold, though, they think. Rather stupid, too. The runaways usually move at night, and try to stay hidden. But walking around in broad daylight, right in the middle of the street, showing off so much skin? What did she expect to happen? If anything, dressed like that, she's lucky she didn't get jumped by a crowd. Granted, everyone knows they're not particularly intelligent, but come on.

Of course, they don't seem very convinced by her story. They just sort of chortle and smirk, amused at first, quickly annoyed when it persists. From another world, she says. Uh-huh. Sure. Listen, don't make this harder than it has to be, just tell us where you're supposed to go.

But she's relentless in her wild fantasies she keeps spouting, and thus, they're forced to dig through databases, contact locals and see if anyone knows where this girl is supposed to be. The efforts prove futile. No one knows. There's not even a record of her birth or existence across the different nations. Maybe she really is telling the truth.

Not that it matters anyway.

No, a quick examination -- just in case, since if she really is some kind of alien, her body could be different -- proves that she has all the right parts. They had to get multiple people to hold her down so someone could do the stripping and examining, which is quite the shocking experience, as most of these guys are only used to seeing very demure and passive females, so seeing one put up a fight like this is quite unusual. But she proves to be very normal, physically at least. Tits for squeezing and milking. All the right holes and a womb, and hips that looks very childbirth-suitable. A little bit on the strong side, especially for her size, but of course not so much that it could ever be comparable to the average man. Besides, a few months of no physical activity should take care of that anyway.

They can just put her with the others. So they just haul her off to sell like any normal girl, kicking and screaming the entire time. She really started freaking out when she overheard a few choice words and finally put two and two together to understand the position she's in, they had to pretty quickly take that weapon away, and tie her up too much to use this newfound elemental power... and that... fairy thing gets put in a cage too. Maybe they'll sell it or something. Still, the girl fights to the bitter end, dragging her heels and thrashing like a wild animal. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing either, no, quite marketable actually. Some guys even pay extra for the fighters.

-----

Some girls are really sheltered, though. One would have to be, to remain in a little fantasy and never having grown out of it. "Prinzessin." Hah, give him a break.

That's the observation of one particular young man, jobless and just barely scraping by, who has decided to try his hand at kidnapping and selling to traffickers as a means to make a little extra cash. A nobody, just a face like any other, nothing special about him, and self-aware of it. People should acknowledge when they're just an average person, he thinks, and this girl could stand to take that advice to heart too. Sure, you can pretend to be a princess or whatever, but that doesn't change that you're just a regular person.

Gods. Shut up. Shut up! Please.

How did he even end up here? The poor man has been listening to this girl go on for ten minutes. What did he ever do to deserve this? He thought it was a lucky coincidence, and took advantage of it -- some dumb girl roaming around in her yard unattended, so he decided to grab her and drag her off thinking he could sell her to actual traffickers, and now has to listen to... that.

...that you shall unbind me this very instant, lest it be your wish to suffer the unbridled and maximal--

I'm going to gag you if you don't stop talking.

He's heard more words previously unfamiliar to him in the past hour than the rest of his life combined. He's silently sitting there, weighing back and forth in his head if the usual reward price is worth this psychological torture. Maybe he can just drop her off back at her home. Agh, but there might already be authorities there if she's been noticed missing, and he'll get arrested.

Now he's stuck with the consequences of his actions, at least for the next 24 hours or so until he finally makes his way by moonlight to a known hangout for traders (traffickers typically have a lot of overlap with Treasure Hoarders and Eremites and other such groups), and then he can shove her off on them and collect a reward. It's bearable... barely. She even has the nerve to electrocute him, didn't even see that pesky gem-looking thing attached to her until he got a shock to the face from a damn bird. Pretty sure these things don't have a lot of value when sold on their own, so he'll just give it to the traders too... but confiscates it for now, and the bird disappears with it, seemingly much to the girl's distress, but he can ignore that if he concentrates on tuning her voice out. It's somewhat hard to resist temptations too, but the traders find it distasteful if it's evident you had your way with the goods prior to drop-off, so he can refrain for now, maybe visit a brothel later.

He's glad to finally be rid of her the next day, after carrying the girl all the way to the next town over and dropping her off with a trafficker in the woods before the sun rises. Could barely discuss price negotiations over her babbling on and on with very eloquent threats to curse him or something like that. Nonetheless, he spends the day gleefully drinking away. He's already spent a small sum on booze by the time night comes around, and has just left the local pub when a familiar face comes seeking him out of the crowd. One of the traders from earlier. Says it's urgent. Draws him outside into the woods.

He has the same girl from earlier with him. Ankles and wrists bound, a very thick layer of tape over her mouth. The trader picks her up and extends his arms out, holding her out for him to take.

Take her back.

He pauses.

...Huh?

The trader huffs in frustration.

They can't handle her.

...HUH??

Told me to give her back to you. Keep her. Don't need the money back.

In one swift motion, the trader shoves her forward into his arms, turns, and bolts off.

And now, he is left with the girl in his possession. Can't take her home without running the risk of present law enforcement arresting him on the spot. He doesn't like the thought of just letting her go, either, could get taken by some really bad people -- hey, he's a trafficker, not a heartless monster.

There has to be some sort of alternative. Which he might be able to think of one, if--

I was nice enough to take that gag off, shut up long enough for me to hear myself think.

Ugh. But even then, there seems to be no real option that works out well. He'll have to keep her with him until he can find a trader willing to take her off his hands.

Which proves difficult, as it turns out, stories traveled quickly, and all the local traders have been told about him and the girl he has with him, and to avoid them. Keep her, they all say, some chuckling. It's not just a matter of the... obvious, but also, girls who are, ah, unique in some way, present a bit of a problem to illegal traffickers, as they can be recognized by those who might have previously known them and reported to the law, whether it's for visual traits or ones related to personality. She's too much of a risk.

And thus, he's just sort of... stuck with her. Ends up in a sort of limbo state wherein he's dragging her along with him, keeps saying he'll drop her off with the next person, but eventually stops trying. Yet, he's also made no promises to do anything else. And again, despite being a bit of a grouch and having participated in morally loathsome activities, he's not heartless, of course he gives her food (Oh my god, stop complaining! I went out of my way to make it for you, I didn't have to do that) and a sleeping space (--because I can't *afford* another sleeping bag, okay? I spend all my money taking care of you, you ungrateful little... ugh, come on, just share this one...) and puts up with some rather frustrating tendencies (I am NOT going to call you that, for the millionth time.). She can be... difficult.

Of course, it's not long before he breaks and ends up taking those frustrations out on the girl anyway... she words it something along the lines of 'defiling her with his repulsive plebian seed' or something like that, he's stopped paying much attention. Even if she squirms and pushes and spits insults at him, it's still a warm, wet hole. And besides, said insults decrease in frequency over time. So do the threats to annihilate him after regaining her supposed "full power," whatever that means. He's pretty strict about keeping the vision tucked away from her anyway... at first. After a while, he realizes that if she has her bird, she'll be in a much better mood and much less likely to ramble on and on, so it's allowed for short periods of time. Said bird is not too fond of him, though, tried to attack him more than once. She freaked out -- even broke character -- when he threatened to turn it into a roast, so the compromise is that if she tells it not to attack him, he can tolerate it.

...Eventually, he starts to think that this is okay, perhaps. He can just... keep her himself. Avoid law enforcement, take on a few odd jobs to get money for extra food. Scrape together the funds for fake documents. He'll just have to be vigilant so no one steals her. Not that he's getting emotionally attached or anything, no... so he thinks to himself whenever he's laying there at night.

--that if not for your misdeeds alone should ill fortune befall you, it would be upon me to--

Please let me sleep.

-----

Finally, there is one way to live a relatively free life: being a non-human, even if humanoid. Of course, the adepti fit this descriptor perfectly, so Ganyu has an easier time than most.

Working among humans is, of course, off limits. They wouldn't allow it anyway, and it would just lead to trouble. Thus, she lives a much more isolated life than she would otherwise, remaining instead in the wilderness, far away from people and consequential danger.

...But, of course, as they always do, human guys find ways.

There is an urban legend of sorts about the qilin adeptus. She's very special, because she's very free, and lives all by herself, up in the mountains, so it's said. That's a very foreign concept to most guys.

And isn't it a shame? Free pussy walking about in the wilderness, going unutilized. Imagine the most perfect, amazing food one could eat, and it's just left to sit there and rot, uneaten -- what's even the point, if the thing isn't going to be used for the purpose for which it exists? It makes no sense. One of the many enigmas of the non-human world.

Someone should fix that. Or so is the general consensus on the matter.

There's no need to make up some tall tale about her having magical or medicinal properties that will heal disease or grant immortality or anything like that, no. Some do say it brings good fortune to see her with your own eyes, but that's not really in the forefront of anyone's mind. What's more important is the very concept of conquest itself.

That's why so many people come trying to take her down. No real benefit to themselves, and it's actually taking quite a risk... but can you imagine being the guy that gets to say he's the one that captured and tamed a mythical beast? To come out of the wilderness with that creature in tow for everyone to see? It's quite the power-trip, egotistical fantasy, the sort of perverse fantasy that gets a lot of young guys' blood pumping (usually towards a specific bodily region). And it motivates plenty to try their hand at finding the creature.

Thing is, most young men are an unfortunate combination of impatient, loud, and quite dumb. So time and time again, they always fail. She's alerted to their presence and flees, and they're forced to come back empty-handed.

The problem is that this only makes the whole thing worse. After so many people fail, her notoriety increases, more and more people have heard of her, and only increases the sense of elusiveness and challenge -- that is, for every person that fails, it will be that much more satisfying of a victory, all the more of a source of pride, to whoever finally doesn't fail. Not to mention, somehow, a myth was born that if you break her horns off, she'll go limp and be unable to move, and now the boys bring up hacksaws and chisels and hammers with them. It's scary. Even if she uses an inhuman qilin form, they still recognize her too.

Of course, part of it is her own doing... see, she's still so good-hearted, so empathetic, that she's saved the lives of those trying to capture her more than once. Some poor guy knocked himself out cold on a rock... he'll freeze to death if left here. So she takes him back, puts him down close to the edge of civilization. Or, a few times, some guy has slid down onto a ledge, no way to climb up or down, and she extends a hand to help pull them up -- and run off as soon as they're on their feet. This only increases the number of survivors to go home, tell the tale, and spark further interest in others, and it likewise increases the chance they'll try again, but... she just can't let them be harmed.

But still, due to the aforementioned traits they tend to have, most fail, over and over. Yet, there's a subtle awareness in the back of her mind that, one day, someone is bound to finally succeed.

But as long as a human is peaceful... she won't do anything to discourage them.

There's a boy that's come into the wilderness these days to hunt. The other adepti would be a bit stricter, would tell him he has to leave, but... he wouldn't be this far away from the nearest village by choice. There must be a food shortage or something. And he's hunting actual game, leaves with a few pheasants or rabbits at the end of each day, and then he goes back to a small tent on the edge of the territory, having made a full camp for himself, fire and tools and all. A few little makeshift stations, one for tanning hides. Just a hunter, nothing more.

In fact, she becomes a bit worried sometimes, and goes to check on the boy, ensure he's fine, which he always is.

She gets a bit too close, though, and ends up stepping on a stick, snapping it in half. He looks up, having been crouched down and prodding the fire. Eyes go wide.

...But then he smiles. Waves. Doesn't get up and come charging at her, doesn't fixate on her with that crazed expression some have. The lack of surprise at the sight of her seems to indicate that he knows of her, knows who she is, but he makes no move to cause any harm.

He doesn't pose any problems. He never goes far up into the mountains, usually stays at the base of it, hunting small animals, only venturing up to get the occasional ram or deer. He has a routine -- hunts most days, every Friday uses leftover guts to go fishing, then on weekends, he hauls all those tanned animal pelts over his shoulder, leaves overnight, and comes back the next day with all the little tools and non-perishable footstuffs and books presumably bought with the money from selling the hides. Such a simple life, some humans do lead. It sounds pleasant, really.

And he still sees her sometimes. They happen to cross paths at a distance. He always smiles and waves, but never does anything to harm her. He's a safe one. She's happy he's prosperous, and goes to check on him often from high vantage points during her daily routine, the same walk each day. Oh, now he's cutting down trees... Building a cabin. Must intend to stay long-term. No matter.

He's not even around, one fateful day. She's only going about her path as usual. The same little walk she takes, each and every day. The autumn leaves pile up all over the ground. The area is so beautiful around this time, so the walks are even more relaxing, she likes to take her time, slowly making her way down the beaten path where the grass has been worn away by all the animals and the occasional traveler passing over it, and although it's covered in leaves now, she still knows where it is by heart. Each and every--

Step.

There's a sort of pain that doesn't get an immediate sound. Intense, overwhelming pain, that hits the nervous system with such a harsh, brutal shock, it leaves one speechless. Gasping for breath, chest and stomach muscles spasming, body going rigid.

Only after a few seconds does she hit the ground and scream. Falling down makes it pull further at the flesh, and she wails. A wail so deafening it could be heard for a mile or more.

And when she props herself up on an elbow, body lying on the ground, and looks down at her leg with watery eyes and blurred vision, she can still see the jagged metal spikes, the blood oozing out where the metal pierces the flesh. A jaw-like contraption, triggered by weight pressing down on the flat part in the center. The same kind of trap used by...

...used by... hunters...

A familiar face pokes out from behind a tree. Comes rushing over to help.

But it's anything but comforting. The soft smile and pleased expression makes it clear that it has all gone as was intended.

Sorry I had to hurt you.

He's still smiling. But so sweet. So soft and comforting, it isn't right, doesn't line up with someone who would do this.

It's okay. You'll be alright.

Pulls the weighted piece out of the ground. Can't pull it out here, or she could bleed too much, have to wait until getting back to the camp. Wait, is that even a problem for them? Can they bleed to death? Well, better safe than sorry. He asks, but she can't answer any questions. She's sobbing and wailing, chest heaving with rapid, shuddering breaths, body trembling. To see a revered creature in this pathetic of a state is probably very rare. He feels special. And very guilty, keeps mumbling apologies... But special.

She doesn't fight it when he rolls her to her side, gently ties her hands behind her back. She squirms a bit and jerks against the retraints when he takes the vision off her hip, but she's too restrained and in too much pain to do much. And she merely whimpers and trembles when she's picked up. Her leg is bent at an odd angle. Must have broken it when she collapsed, twisting it against the metal.

But he was considerate. Made sure to set the traps very close to the camp, so it will only be a short distance. He's memorized where each one is -- he saved up a lot of money, bought enough raw ore to make a ton of them -- and expertly maneuvers around each one until out of the area, cooing comforting words and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

He did also get a saw with that money, though. Heard the whole horn thing, and you can never be too careful... but that can wait until tomorrow.

[lopsidedtreetrunks]

Here is my submission for @dribbonart 's amedot fusion competition! I like her a lot, although there are a couple of things I probably could have done a bit better lol

Steven is there for height comparison. All of the text on the page is in the alt text :)

I have A LOT of notes under the cut, which can get a bit stream-of-consciousness-y (because I can never just be chill about something bsdjaksjdlskd),, so I apologise in advance for how long it is 😭

Early research notes:

Mixing amethyst and peridot's skin colours together gets you a kind of sage green colour, so I researched to light green gems

Aventurine stuck out to me as it was the only one i found where it was actually described as sage green, so i thought 'that's perfect' lol

A lot of the healing properties of green aventurine I think resonate with both amethyst and peridot's personalities, from its promotion of friendship to its emission of positive energy

I liked that one of the sites i used to research aventurine mentioned ancient civilisations' usage of green aventurine and i wanted to incorporate that into the fusion's design/personality

It's important to me for her to have aspects of both amethyst and peridot shown in the design somewhere. Most of the time when i design fan fusions I do this in their hair, which is not different this time. I made her hair long, with a bushy tail on her braid representing amethyst, and her three skull braids representing peridot's triangle hair. Her hair is also in a braid bc when i hear the word adventure for some reason the first thing i think of is Lara Croft so,,, thats why i gave her a braid 😅

I wanted her body design to kind of resemble athleisure-wear since she loves relaxing but can get up and go at any point, ready for adventure! She also doesn't need to be complicated. I don't think she needs extra limbs etc since she has her vision power.

Obviously the crystal gems are very important to both amethyst and peridot, so I wanted to give her at least one star on her body. Her torso seemed like the most obvious place, but I'm not sure if she should have more elsewhere, too. The star on her torso can be like a tattoo.

I think she would be very intense in her love for her friends, which might make people uncomfortable. She will back off if she senses this, but she means well I promise!!

She can be spontaneous when it comes to her adventuring, sometimes dragging Steven and the other gems from their beds to go on a Cool Adventure (pearl is NOT a fan of this lmao)

When I say 'adventuring' I really mean just travelling and/or exploring new places, which could be anything from a new city to a deep jungle. Normally these adventures don't last longer than a couple of days... unless they get lost..........

A few amedot related rambles notes:

One of my favourite things about amedot is that they're sooo opposite. I'm such a big opposites-attract truther almost everything I ship there's one puppy dog and one wet cat there's nothing i love more than polar opposite pairings <3

With that said they also share a few things (cough being short asses cough) such as their love of their friends (even if they show it in different ways) and they can both be pretty headstrong. They both had their own journeys - amethyst with her self confidence and feeling inferior, and peridot with unlearning the system of homeworld and the traditions she was so used to. They both had to learn how to love themselves enough to be able to stand up for what they believe in and to let themselves be true to themselves (i hope that makes sense lol)

I think their opposing traits can be quite complementary. Peridot is quite intense; she gets excited about her favourite things and she gets embarrassed easily. Amethyst is more laid-back and tends to roll her own way. They complement each other well.

More refined notes:

Amethyst's personality: Mellow Lazy/messy (affectionate) Improved self-esteem Fiercely loyal

Peridot's personality: Self-confident Smart (robotics) Analytical Intense interests/personality Learned to enjoy life/appreciate Earth

Aventurine properties:

Quartz

Name comes from Italian for adventure

Known as a heart-healer for it's relation to the heart chakra

Said to bring prosperity in all facets of life

Emits a positive energy, slows overactive minds, guides lost spirits, promotes friendships

Ancients Tibetans used it in statues, believing it's glimmer gave them higher vision

Amazon tribes used it in jewellery, believing it gave their royalty and warriors guidance in battles

Aventurine personality:

Self-confident

Enjoys seeking adventure but really values her downtime

Adores her friends - loyal

Can take charge if needed

Can be spontaneous with adventuring

Emotional decision-maker

Although she is very smart, she tends to think with her heart rather than her head

She has a special power - higher vision grants her the ability to see for miles and can focus in any person/thing in the present

Similar to Sapphire's future vision but stays in the present

She gets her street smarts and go-with-the-flow attitude from Amethyst

She gets her intense love and confidence from Peridot

Hyper but content in life

[shenyaanigans]

2,5,6,9,14 and 19 for Free! pls 😏😏

YESSSSS let's go!!!!

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*

so there's the obvious one (rnhru) but i also vaguely feel this way about rei/gisa. HEAR ME OUT. it's not that it's bad. i understand where it comes from, i like totally get it. i just never felt as much of the chemistry there as others did, mostly bc i think nagisa doesn't get quite enough character moments. i have loved what the fandom has done with the two of them, tho!!

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

in general for SURE, but i got RLY into free super late in the game, so the ship wars were over. i did have someone who was like. the backseat driver when i first got into the show, and i wasn't so good at standing up for myself or my opinions back then, so for a long time i was a huge hiyo/iku hater. this has since changed, bc i deeply adore how fucked up they both are LMAO.

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

^^^ as stated above, hiyo/iku!!!!!!!!!! catherine's love of hiyori and all the meta analysis of hiyo/iku as parallels to mako/haru were some of my favorites, and really helped me move past the bias my ex-friend had instilled in me about the pairing.

Most disliked character(s)? Why?

i'm gonna be so real, i don't rly like ai as a character; i found him vaguely annoying and he doesn't really amount to anything or add to the plot other than being the wet paper bag rin steps on a bunch in the beginning of the show... his parallel with nagisa isn't very strong, and i just like. idk. that's about as far as my dislike goes for characters in this series LOL

Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

makoto deserves to bottom you fools!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like sure he could top!!!!! i'm sure everybody assumes he does!!!!!! but //grabs you by the shoulders// the way he whines haru's name in canon tells me everything i need to know!!!!!!!! (this is a silly opinion but listen, it's a desert out here for the girlies who don't like dom top makoto or worse, SUB bottom haru (worst. hated take. disgusting. haru can bottom but he is not submissive))

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

honestly, these days it's pretty great!! the echoes of the ship wars and the obsession with who's ship is more canon annoy me tho. canon has no bearing on whether the ship is good. shipping is about extrapolation. i don't really care which ship is "more" canon. it's not a competition, and people getting obsessed with it are obnoxious. like what u like!! it's ur right!!

[d4isywhims]

sims tag game!!

i was tagged by these lovely people @seokolat @pxeltownie @mdmszee @moonriesims @magpiesims @oasivy @tbeanie-sims !! <3 lots of love to you!!

1. What’s your favourite sims death? death by vending machine just because that's the only "unique" sim death i've gotten so far lol (it happened to mawar btw but i immediately quit the game bc of obvious reasons)

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? i'm personally a maxis mix girl but i loveeeee looking at sims with alpha cc

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? nope :)

4. Do you use move objects? yes. i would not be able to survive without it

5. Favorite mod? bed cuddle mod my beloved <3 no but in all seriousness, mccc and iu cheats are a gamechanger! i also love a bunch of adeepindigo's mods

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? get to work ;)

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? live as in aLIVE :)

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? aww just one? :( i have so many! priya, kohana, harlow, jae!!!, hunter and sooooooo much more. but if i have to choose one i'd say my favourite is probably harlow because i based her off of savannah smith and she is gorggggg (both savannah and harlow!)

9. Have you made a simself? yeap

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? foodie for sure, umm maybe creative and dog lover :D

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? the ash brown swatch? the one hunter's hair colour is in

12. Favorite EA hair? i don't knowwww 😭 i mostly use cc hair yikes

13. Favorite life stage? young adult! i get to do so much :D

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? both i think? but if i had to pick a side, i'd say that i'm more of a gameplay person in ts4 :) i'm an avid builder in ts3 tho hehe i’ve always loved the building aspect of the sims and i loveee watching speed build vids on youtube

15. Are you a CC creator? i wish! but unfortunately i’m not :(

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i like to think we're all friends here so i'm going to say yes! i've met sooo many amazing simmers on here and i intend on making more :D

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) i’ll say ts3 just for the nostalgia :’) but ts4 is pretty good too minus the bugs lmao

18. Do you have any sims merch? do knockoff plumbob headbands count? :p

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? i do actually lol my yt username is still d4isy-nukes but i currenty have no vids up.......YET

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? when i first started playing the sims, i was obsessed with making the "perfect" sims with "perfect" lives and would aaalways cheat away negative moodlets or never give them "negative" traits ykwim? but now i just go with the flow at whatever the game throws at me lol it's much fun that way :D also it helps to not stress about the things in game too much, it takes the fun out of it :p

21. What’s your Origin ID? same as my tumblr name!

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? oof i can't name just one 😭 @littlbowbub @oni28 are my go-tos for food cc! @simstrouble @johnnysimmer are also very cool! idk man i feel like if i list all my fav cc creators it would be never ending lol

23. How long have you had a simblr? ohh omg i think i made this account somewhere mid-2021? not sure tho but i've only started being active earlier this year :) and hopefully for the years to come!

24. How do you edit your pictures? i use photoshop! i don't do much besides adjusting the brightness, cropping the pics and run a few actions. if i'm feeling fancy i'll add a moodlet/thought bubble or text :) gshade basically carries my editing process atp lol

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? give me hotels/resorts!!!! but ngl it's probably going to be buggy af tho lmao

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? cottage living AND seasons. i canot live without seasons

i know for a fact that a bunch of my moots have done this tag already so i'll be tagging whoever sees this lol

[altschmerzes]

any clue as to when chapter two of the torture fic might release? Id kill a man for some of that gorgeously written angsty comfort. (in the snippets youve given how itd affecting jack is absolutely tearing at my heart its so good)

it should be pretty soon!! it's getting up there in wordcount, i'm predicting it'll be about the same as part 1. i'm in the finals stretch so my time is extremely strained at the mo but i also tend to work in bursts around essays and exams this time of hear so that doesn't necessarily mean anything XD and regardless, i'm almost done with the term, so my time is my own soon!! regardless: shouldn't be too much longer and then it'll be an. enormous 35k+ or so chapter that is. entirely angsty comfort and traumatic medical evaluation/treatment.

in the meantime, here's a clip from part 2, under the cut along with warnings bc. well. this is the torture fic after all lmao. and bc it's..... a Very Long Clip, it's like, 1k-ish, enjoy :)

(warnings: references/sorta flashbacks to sexual assault a la the hickey thing in part 1, mac is just generally not in a. good state. rn. the trauma is extremely fresh, he's in a lot of pain, and he's just been helped out of the supply closet he was hiding in, and realized jack's seen the injuries that make it a little more obvious he's been sexually assaulted - the bite mark, the hickeys.)

“It’s freezing in here,” Jack mutters.

The sound of his voice makes Mac twitch. It’s not quite a flinch but it’s halfway there at least, and he tries to quell the rattled shivers coursing through his body like spiderweb cracks through ice. He takes a step to the side and leans against the admissions desk, needing support but unwilling to lean against the wall. Glancing down, Mac gathers the ends of his shirt closed as best as he can, trying to shield his torso from the cold and from view.

Movement in Mac’s peripheral vision catches his eye and he looks over. Jack’s found a blanket somewhere, shaking it out and examining it.

“It’s not much, but it’s clean,” he says, walking over with it and stopping a few feet away. “I think Sam left it here for us. Nice of her.”

Mac tries to reach for the blanket but his shoulders won’t let him get that far. He purses his lips to muffle the pained sound he makes, hoping Jack hadn’t heard it.

“Hey, easy, I got it. You just let me do all the work.”

It takes all of Mac’s focused willpower to keep himself from moving, staying still and letting Jack finish crossing the distance separating them with the blanket. Jack lifts it slowly, draping it around Mac’s shoulders. The effect is immediate, blocking the faint draft that seems to have been drifting through the office this whole time and bringing some amount of warmth back to Mac’s chilled body. As his partner continues to adjust it, the folded edge of the blanket touches Mac’s neck and sends an immediate tidal wave of panic through him. He shudders, inhaling sharply and saying, “No, don’t.”

The words are barely comprehensible, a shredded collection of syllables, but somehow Jack understands the problem immediately. He fixes the blanket, rearranging it so that it hangs in a loose drape that doesn’t come into contact with the bruises on Mac’s neck at all. “There you go, that should help some.” For a final touch, Jack tucks the edges together in the front where Mac can hold them himself and be covered, at least from the collarbones down.

The relief at being shielded again, the battered and bleeding skin of Mac’s torso out of sight for the first time since Murdoc started cutting his clothes off, is a heady rush. It’s good as well to finally have some kind of real barrier against the cold that’s surely going to get worse as soon as they head out through the propped-open door. Even so, there are still things that have Mac on edge.

A breeze from the open door shivers through Mac’s hair and across his neck, chilling his skin where the blanket being adjusted low away from his bruised throat has left him vulnerable to the frigid temperatures. He’s acutely aware of the hickey high up almost at his jaw and he pictures it involuntarily. The sight of it in the mirror is seared into his mind, and he wonders how much more livid it looks now. It’s going to be a bad one. The forcible intrusion of the image in the mirror is replaced with the sensation of Murdoc’s head grinding against Mac’s as his teeth scraped skin. He can remember too the hot, insistent pressure of Murdoc sucking at his neck and the slick, wet sounds that accompanied it. Mac cringes and shudders, rolling his head to get the feeling to go away. He needs to dislodge that moment from his mind, but the movement hurts enough to make his breath catch.

“Mac, what’s going on?” Jack’s question is immediate and attentive. The way he watches Mac and doesn’t miss anything is almost a physical weight. “Something feeling worse? Something we need to take care of right now?”

All that Mac can do in response to the questions is shake his head. He can’t speak and it’s not even because of the damage to his wounded throat. It’s because of the way every ounce of Mac’s energy is already caught up in fighting against a memory he can’t break out of, because he can still feel Murdoc’s cheek against his and the wet smear of tears in the friction between their skin. His breath hitches again and the bruises ringing his neck ache.

“Mac, talk to me.”

Another shake of the head. He can’t, he can’t.

“Okay. Okay.” Jack’s voice is a distressed, talking-to-himself mutter, and then it rises back into a directive register, the slightly-too-loud, slightly-too-slow tone of talking to a disoriented and traumatized person. Mac knows that tone. He’s heard it two dozen times over, and it never gets less embarrassing to have it directed at him. “Finding it hard to talk?”

When Mac nods it hurts, but he does it again anyway, nodding harder, needing to convey how very much he can’t speak right now.

“Okay. That’s okay. Do you need anything?”

The question sticks in Mac’s mind like a particularly tricky bit of a physics problem. He can’t do anything to answer it, not really - he shakes his head, then nods, then shakes it again. It’s too complicated to think about, too impossible to answer in his fractured, pathetic state.

“Alright, that’s on me,” Jack says quickly, and his ‘traumatized victim’ voice has slipped sideways a bit into something else, something softer, sadder. It’s a strange thing to hear while he’s supposed to be acting as Agent Dalton - it’s too raw. Too personal. “That was the wrong sorta thing to ask, that’s alright. I’m not mad. Nobody’s mad at you.” The reassurance, despite the way Mac hadn’t even said anything, makes him want to break down all over again. “You don’t gotta think any harder on it. Let’s just get you out to the car, okay?”

Mac is so grateful - for the patience, the care, the fact that he’s been rescued at all and he’s going to get to go home - that his eyes burn and he feels a tear slip down his cheek, followed quickly by another. His face feels wet and tacky, chilled by the periodic rush of winter wind, and the feeling just brings the sense memory of Murdoc’s mouth on his neck back to the forefront of his mind all over again. He cringes, remembering the way he had cried then too, and reaches for his face to wipe the sensation away. Except that Mac’s hands can’t get up far enough, not with the pain in his shoulders and how he’d have to let go of the blanket to reach. A quiet almost-sob catches in his aching throat and he shudders, twitching with the aborted inability to even wipe off his own face.

“Can I?”

When Mac looks up and sees that Jack is right there, closer than he remembered, he leans back at first on instinct. But there’s nothing behind his back, nothing trapping him there, and the hand held up towards his face isn’t grabbing or forcing. It isn’t moving at all, actually. It’s just staying there between them, waiting for Mac’s response to the question.

Just a tiny fraction of a movement, Mac nods. Permission granted, Jack slowly, carefully wipes his cheeks dry with the pad of his thumb and the second knuckle of his index finger - small, tender touches that paradoxically make Mac want to cry even harder. It works, though. It dries his face and is enough to bring him firmly out of the memory, too. The feeling of Jack’s cautious touch, present and real and gentle in the here and now, has displaced the phantom of Murdoc’s invasive assault, bringing Mac back to the current moment and keeping him there.

“You ready to go?”

It takes a moment of blinking at him, suspicion and anxiety stringing a high violin note through Mac’s lungs, but scrutiny of Jack’s face and voice doesn’t turn up any kind of trick. It’s just a question, and all he seems to want is an answer.

“Yeah,” Mac rasps, and then it’s his turn to be studied until Jack nods, having evidently not found anything objectionable in his searching either.

[wolfex126]

Max from Sam and Max for the character ask meme

Max for this ask meme!

I'm gonna be so honest I got DEEP in the paint here and I'm writing this after having finished answering everything - and. Yuh this need a cut LMFAO so the answers are under the read more! Ain't wanna clog your page without warning - and my most sincere of apologies in advance for yappin as much as I did but. What can I say. Special interest fun.

I have to thank you regardless for having me think about these, because this was super enjoyable!! Plus I find any opportunity to pour my heart out really cathartic ☁️🩷

How I feel about this character

LOVE im. Love im to bits it's quite incredible actually LMAO. As with both parts of that pair they're stronger characters put together, but I think Max has way more nuanced personality as an individual than people tend to think about him!! In Sam's bio in the original Save the World, it states they've known each other all their lives and "speak a common language" - and I think that fact, about specifically Max, goes to show he's more detailed than it appears :] More than their hijinks and playful taunting, they do speak a common language: and it's supporting the other how they need case-by-case 🥺

I don't know, I always appreciated how Max was a deeper character than was outwardly demonstrated most of the time. At the end of TDPH, the moment where Max is recalling what happened in his timeline with nonchalant humor in the face of pretty horrific circumstances (whether used to cope or not), but then sees Sam visibly disconcerted, and Max immediately changes how he approaches the conversation with more tact, is beautifully subtle in showing Max is capable and willing to be gentler with Sam when their usual joking doesn't work.

Maybe it was or was not intentional, and I'm reading way too much into it, but long story short Max is a wonderfully comedic, yet nuanced character, and even as more of a Sam fan (by a mere margin, mind you), I would be remiss to deny that the pair are interwoven pretty inseparably - and Max being any other way wouldn't make their dynamic work nearly as perfectly. Good rabbity thing character 10/10

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Sammy Hound Dog is my only ship for him 🐶🐰I couldn't imagine those two being with anybody else. "In every life, I will find you," type beat y'know?

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Does Flint Paper count LMAO? I think they'd be rather close (whenever they have free time between cases really JWBFKSN) and I'd imagine Max still has a bit of an idol thing going on even post Night of the Living Dead :]

Maybe a cheating answer but truthfully my gut answer was Sybil!! She's the pair's bestie imo so sure maybe obvious person to say but all the same I think she and Max could be a hell of a lot closer than it appears (⁠´⁠∩⁠｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡⁠∩⁠`⁠) I think she'd be a deeply trusted confidant, and he thinks to go to her first concerning things he couldn't ask Sam about/for - not that that'd be. Very much. Considering the little to no filter he's got But for dates or to surprise Sam with something and he knows he's gonna need help with it she's his first thought. Though I'm sure the end of TDPH probably went to show how much deeper Max cared for Sybil than what showed on the surface 🥹🩷

My unpopular opinion about this character

PG opinion? Now I am The Number One, Uno, Un, Ein, Énas, Yek crossdressing fan wholly and truly I've never known myself without that passion But I would probably say as far as the content I see, I'm way surprised that Max is the most chosen of the two to do so!! Immediate disclaimer bc one will always be Grateful to be fed and the work is always SUPER delightful regardless but just from what I hear in dialogue and have seen in the cartoon I was always under the impression Sam was more willing and even eager to crossdress, while Max was pretty hesitant and/or did not do so very often :0 At the end of the day this is a huge nothing-offense but it's more something I found interesting in the fandom! Clothes aren't gendered just in case I have to say that but I'm quite fond of the term and the history so it's just how I call it :]

Adult opinion? Max prefers to top and Sam prefers Max tops too. Sure they'll switch off on occasion but I think after that dog does all the work and talkin all day there's a dynamic shift (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)👍🏼 That's all I've got for now I would further elaborate with great love but being that I'm not sure how you feel about this sort of thing I'll leave it out of courtesy!! But it was an honest gut answer I had so I didn't want to leave it from my rambling

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

That he gives Sam a big ol kiss right on that snout of his and then rehashes that line about his warmth being alarming

If I can't answer that then I'm also cool with a peek into their actual bedroom!! I was always under the impression they lived right in the office, but I've also seen iterations from other fans of them having a house or an apartment!! Regardless of depiction, I think having a concrete bedroom visual for them would be super interesting (⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠) Though it is fun as fans to be able to speculate and show off our own ideas, so it isn't upsetting or anything of that sort - just something I think could realistically be done!

Sincerely I don't have any specific wishes for Max specifically - I think he was handled very well in all the media he's in, and anything that wasn't directly shown or written is very easily remediable with fanon and community ideas!! I don't find anything wrong with the stories serving their purpose as is, and the people being left to interpret and add onto what exists 🩷

Though, if I can give a more dramatic answer to this, however unrealistic, then I'd say I wouldn't at all hate a musical motif for him (or all the main characters really!!) I understand that hardcore story-telling is not really a Sam and Max special, but if I can be self-indulgent and shamelessly passionate about music, then I'll say especially for a game like TDPH something during more emotional or intense moments including character musical motifs in the background a la God of War reboot style would make things a hell of a lot more impactful.

Like Max's motif could be something lively, something typically with drums and violin or harp, or even flute, and changes depending on the progression of the story - during his initial power sequence, it's powerful and upbeat and smooth; during his beast transformation, it's chaotic and defeaning and gritty; during Sam's departure from the lab after finding out they couldn't bring Max back, it's quiet and drawn out and almost sounds like a lullaby before Sam takes to the streets and the motif stops playing to transition into Sam's sole motif, which would be equally quiet and solemn, to imply Max being left behind and Sam left alone. Maybe Sam and Max while they're together also have a motif that's both of their individual ones combined - and when it matters most, their motifs can be separate like when Noir Sam happens or when Max is trapped in the ship.

There's a lot of potential in music being powerful for this series, and while I think the sound direction is good as is (I mean, "That Rainy Neon Glow" is a pretty damn good Noir Sam track), I think a little extra care to make motifs to consciously and subconsciously recognize themes would be tremendous. I mean shit maybe they're gonna do that for the upcoming remaster and I'll be taken aback but I'm more of the belief that this is something only in a wistful dream ☁️🩷

[nona-gay-simus]

nona for the ask game! :D

Oh hey, thanks for the ask! Send me a character [Nona] and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them How autistic she is. I love seeing a character with such high support needs being the protagonist of an adult novel and to see her be loved and supported and not belittled for very obvious autistic traits (yes, people do call her stupid, but usually it's the other children and they come around and are charmed by her anyway.)

least favorite thing about them Listen, Nona is wonderful, and I was almost going to say 'nothing' but I was a bit annoyed that she was so okay with dying when this body belonged to someone else and they might want it back and she just kind of... forgot.

favorite line "I told you not to do anything weird!" - I swear, I teared up both times. Another contender is "Nona thought that was unfair- Crown was very nearly pretty enough for Camilla."

brOTP Her and Cam, her and Pyrrha, her and Hot Sauce, her and Noodle - just wonderfully unique dynamics. (Not including Pal bc I really view him more as her teacher than her friend, although he obviously loves her.)

OTP NonaPash is the only answer, lmao. I think it's more of a meme, because it would be kinda problematique in canon since Pash is in her early to mid-twenties? And Nona is only 19 physically and Babey in actuality, but I like thought of them, the ultimate grumpy x sunshine. Maybe in an AU or something?

nOTP Basically with any of her caregivers because that's weird :D' Also Hot Sauce I have no idea if anyone ships them, but yeah. Even in an age-appropriate AU i think it would be weird because I'm not sure Hot Sauce views Nona as an equal until the end.

random headcanon My only headcanon is more like a theory I guess? I think the reason why she doesn't like food but eats wood and sand and the Ocean satisfies her "hunger" is because those are things that remind her of who she is, whereas food feels like dead stuff to her. Idk maybe everyone else has figured this out, I don't think I'm that insightful lol

unpopular opinion Maybe that shipping her with Pash is fine? I have no idea how unpopular that is, but I did see someone on Twitter say there's no one to ship her with.

song i associate with them Dirty Hands (Gone Mad) - Kendra Dantes, although i guess it's more of a (SPOILER) song

favorite picture of them: I'd have to go hunt for my fav fan arts, but here's a Picrew of her I made that I quite like:

[capricioussun]

Sorry gamers I fell asleep and also appear to have a throat infection(?) BUT I am awake now so

The hashtag Commentary on the artists and styles✨ (under the cut ⬇️ )

⭒ Up first is decafcoffee00 - decaf's art is so next level, everything is so SHAPE and there's personality in every line istg. Surprisingly, this one didn't fight me as much as I expected! I don't think it's half bad, and I had an easier time w/ this one than any other lol, but fr if you're not following him uhhh you should <3

⭒ The next to the right, minksinty - phenom's art inspires me SO so much, the way they colour things is absolutely stunning and life just flows through it, even the doodles! I think this one is probably the one I did the worst on lol, idk! It just doesn't seem to have any of the right energy, but it'd be more than worth it to do a more thorough study bc uhhh absolutely gorgeous art fr

⭒ And the third in the top row, bonetrousledbones - the only one I've actually tried before! So I had a liiitttle more familiarity with it, but it's such a fun, super expressive style. Their art just seems to translate the characters feelings and personalities so strongly, it's like. A narrative art style. If I had more time and focus I'd have loved to do a full body shot like this, especially to get more into studying their Clothes Technique, of which they are a master in their craft !!

⭒ Now on to the bottom row✨ jnpie - this one is small bc I was so happy w/ the first sketch I didn't want to try making it bigger and having it get all fuzzy lmao, but! Jnpie's style is so cute and like. Idk what would be a good word for it, sincere? It really is an expression, and you can feel how much they put into their art just by making it, it's just so -gestures emphatically in a positive way-. This is also the only one that didn't have a direct ref to look at! So pls forgive any discrepancies 🙏

⭒ On to the right, savestar - her art always exudes such a softness to me? Almost like a somberness that I don't quite know how to describe but its sooo pretty and makes their stuff feel very nostalgic when you look at it. It probably comes in second for the ones I struggled w/ a bit and feel I couldn't quite capture, but you can make the judgement for yourself by checking out and following her :*)

⭒ And last but certainly not least, owl-bones - this one was very fun, I'm not sure how obvious it is but his art has definitely been an influence on whatever direction mines taken for how I draw these bone boys, as it should! Rayne's art is sooo cool and pretty and this is another style I'd love to try doing a full body shot w/, the way he poses and draws clothes is so fluid and appealing and !!!

-

Sorry if this reads a little off I'm a bit fog brained atm and did NOT check for typos well but I didn't want to put this off any more! Bc seriously while I was working on this I kept getting distracted just scrolling through everyone's art these ppl r sooo cool and good at art and just 🌟❕💗

I wanted to get to the second part too yesterday but I was flagging so hard man, so next week! And until then don't forget to rest and stretch and hydrate <3

[tododeku-or-bust]

Do you have current modern head-canons with Philia interacting with Calix’ family and him with hers?

Okay, so!

For Flashpoint, not quite yet! However, I'm pretty sure I wanna take the angle of the two meeting because of a gathering at the casino. The regular mafia tensions are there amongst the adults, but the kids are gonna get along and have their own adventures. Maybe they're about 12 or so. So check back in with me on that! (You reminded me I have something to ask about that.)

For Bump and Run, it's... Interesting. If you've read that fic (or my Hades AU, or hell even just know the outcome of The Iliad) you recognize that these families do NOT like each other. It's a shame too, because under different, nonviolent circumstances, I've always been of the belief that Hector and Patroclus would have gotten along pretty well. Anyway, that tension affects Phi and Calix' interactions with their "in laws" for obvious reasons.

Calix has a more chaotic yet oddly more welcoming experience. Philia is a Daddy's Girl through and through, and it's not easy having to deal with Achilles when he is...being himself. So it's a little scary for him at first, but the thing about Calix is he's no slouch- Philia wouldn't love a coward who can't stick up for himself. so he learns when to clap back, and when to stay quiet. In a strange way, while they all don't really "like" each other, they all begrudgingly respect one another. Calix visibly adores Phi, and she's happy. If Calix hadn't been Hector's son, he and Achilles would get along quite well. They're very similar people lmao, to Achilles' mild distress. Calix and Patroclus are calmer and more friendly, though he doesn't think for a moment that if Philia is ever hurt, Patroclus won't be right by Achilles. But Phi also will be angry at ALL of them if they don't at least try, and they are afraid of hurting her most of all.

(my gift fic, Take Care, goes into a good example of this dynamic in a fantasy sort of way)

As for Philia, her reception is... a little more frosty. No one is ever like, outright rude or cruel to her. But Andromache is not happy. Out of everyone, she is the least pleased about this arrangement. So they don't have the sort of mothering relationship that Phi might have wanted, and the subtle rejection does hurt her, though she understands why and won't push it. Hector is cordial, always the gentleman, but he does have to play the fence. He values his son's happiness- and Calix has and will fight if he feels like Phi is being disrespected- but he also has his wife's valid traumas to consider. Astyanax, the wiser older sibling, has always been a sounding board for Calix on the topic, and regardless of where he stands, he's friendly enough to Phi. (Fun fact, he was horrified at first that his parents didn't like Phi bc she was Black, they had to have the full conversation that no, that is NOT why we feel some type of way). Calix also has a very large family in comparison to Philia, so it can be a bit intimidating at family gatherings. She carries herself well and with grace, but sometimes it can be exhausting and she sticks closer to Calix' side.

The tensions have been a source of arguments for the two, unfortunately.

thank you for the ask! Sorry if I was long winded, I tried to be short!

[lastoneout]

oc rambling time owo

Anyway Eugene really is so genuine and earnest that sometimes he says the most romantic shit to Ophelia and has no idea until he see's her blushing and it's adorable cuz like they ofc take a bit to get together for real but Eugene is absolutely accidentally flirting with her all the time and it's not even really an accident he very much means what he says he just didn't mean to say it so openly

and you KNOW this shit annoys Sasha, I mean at first they find it very funny but after a few months of Ophelia being like "okay maaaaybe I like him but there's no way he likes me" they are banging their head against the wall like "Ophelia despite you eventually giving him permission to listen to your old music recordings he refused because he knows that makes you uncomfortable AND he said, and I quote, "already gets to hear the sound of your voice every day and that's more than enough" I'm pretty sure he's fucking in love with you"

like literally Eugene is out there being so bad at hiding his feelings saying shit like "The color of your hair reminds me of the ocean, I always catch myself looking at yo- I mean it, uh, your hair- haha a-anyway it's beautiful that's all" and "Sorry if I take too many pictures of you, I'll stop if you want...I just like to save things that are important to me" and "My favorite part of the morning is when you wake up. The apartment is more than fine! But it's rather...boring, when you're not around. I much prefer getting to share coffee and talk with you"

and Ophelia is like "idk man he's just being nice" and Sasha has to stop themselves from strangling her bcs she just doesn't get it she doesn't even notice how Eugene goes from being kind and pleasant to a fucking glowing blushing mess the second she's in his line of sight OR how he tries to always stand close to her and how he blushes a lot especially when she smiles and he looks like he's never seen something so beautiful when she laughs and he's always offering her his sweater SHE JUST THINKS THAT'S NORMAL bcs that's how he acts around her lmao she's never gonna get it

(And ofc Eugene is way too nice and has WAY too much deep seated self loathing to even CONSIDER that Ophelia might feel the same way despite the fact that if you know what to look for she is ALSO doing a massively shitty job at hiding her feelings lmao she's a quality time/acts of service/gifts bitch and she is going all out!! going with him to the library like every day, happily listening when he gives her the complete abridged history of ceramics or info dumps about seals or whatever else he's been reading about, her bangs are the ONLY thing saving her from it being 100% obvious that she too is always looking at him, buying him stuff she thinks he might like even though he tells her not to waste her money on him just bcs she can at least see how touched he is when she does(and he's never had the luxury of owning more than the clothes on his back and she Must Correct This), despite not being much of a morning person she starts waking up earlier and earlier just so she can talk with him over coffee and breakfast, and my girl may not have quite as many pics of him on her phone but she spends so much time looking at the ones she does have like she has it SO BAD)

but ofc neither of them realize the other likes them!! at least not normally, nah these repressed, dense bitches have the most dramatic confession ever bcs it basically takes a life or death situation for them to get their heads on straight and stop pretending they don't love each other so much it's disgusting

[throwaway-yandere]

Hi! Very late but i just wanted to congratulate you on your follower milestone!

Feels a bit weird when I'm not a follower myself but haha. Your type of yanderes aren't what I'm really into, but I still periodically check on your blog like some ghost stuck to a place bc your writing is really really good and i absolutely adore how creative your ideas are. Speaking of which, i really love how you handled the matchups! They're still made for a certain person but so open that they're also accessible to everyone else, which isn't something I've ever seen before but definitely seems the best way to go about it.

I'm super curious to see how your series will progress and all the other unique ideas you'll come up with in the future (and sometimes just reading the anon interactions, as a Frequent Visitor and really socially awkward person I'm like the physical manifestation of the word "lurker", but it's really a bit like watching a friend group interact and have fun which really warms my heart. It's just super good vibes!)

Please remember to look after yourself, get enough nutrition and rest. And hope you don't mind me haunting this blog a little longer :p

Hey don't feel scared to interact even if you're not following!!! I adore asks lololololol, it makes writing worth it. Feel free to stick around!!! But like how I start most my fics, if you're not in a mentally well state it's best to avoid these!

I'll be honest, I would NEVER hang out with any of the yanderes I've written except for SPK!Childe & Thoma and HysHum!Dainsleif. I think the only "soft" yanderes I wrote are those three.

Childe just wanna fish & Thoma just wants to listen whenever the reader rants about their problems. Then there's Dainsleif, who's sane but is one chip away from losing his marbles because his reader is about to turn Teyvat upside down lmao.

The rest? They're all insufferable meow meows <333 Other than the three I mentioned whenever I write about these yanderes I keep slandering them in my head <333 it's so much fun <333 okay i lied dain's not an exception I still insulted him in my hyshum drafts <3333–

I'm not sure if it's incredibly obvious in my writing but I'm asexual and quite possibly aro, so I think I "excel" more on the "yan" side than the "dere" since romance isn't my forte. I mainly write for the horror so I don't expect people to come to me because they're into the yanderes I've written but more on the story (... I'd be a bit concerned but won't question if you're into stuff like cannibal!cat!ayato and horse feeder!diluc). That's why everytime I post I don't expect anything AND IT'S VERY MUCH THE REASON WHY I'M CONFUSED THAT THIS BLOG IS STILL ALIVE. THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A THROWAWAY ACCOUNT–

I'm not sure if I'm making sense lol but that's pretty much my two cents on that so I wholeheartedly understand if my yans aren't your cup of tea! They're not mine too– I want to bury them all with my hatchet!!! <333 I want them to go to therapy!!! Eat lasagna!!! Play farming games!!! Literally just don't bother (y/n) anymore 😭!!!

About the event: I was genuinely hoping for match-ups set up like this because there's some sort of "togetherness" in it?? Hold on I just woke up cuz I accidentally slept while reviewing for Algebra when writing this so I'll probably rewrite this draft or something if I'm not lazy lol. It's just that I like it when readers are characters I can add some quirks and details to (of course, cept for things like physical descriptions and what not) since it makes pairing them with a yandere more natural. And you know what? I'm super glad the anons are all very nice and interesting huhu. They truly make the event more alive!!!

I adore otome games and trust me, almost everyone in r/otome_games prefer an MC who has a personality rather than an eyeless self-insert too lol. Much like there's no such thing as "absolute justice", I believe you can't have a "perfect self-insert" fic either because not everyone shares the same mold. It's just not as entertaining to me when the reader is silent so I guess that reflects on my writing too ;;--;;. It's just too much fun pulling up an mbti and going "ah yes, I'm using this type."

Anyways, yeah!!! Is it bad if I'm satisfied about how I set it up as well haha it feels like my 1 braincell was actually put to use ;;----;;;

Oh sht i ended up rambling my bad umm tHANK YOU!!! Haha it feels strange celebrating this milestone and I appreciate your kind words!!!

(out of curiosity, is there something I can call you? Like "lurker anon" or something haha)

[xaz-fr]

oh fuck hi xaz i was wondering where you went. apparently the reason was a little uh.. well, jesus christ. tbh.

i'm a little nervous about showing my face which is why i'm on anon but ive been in afams and very active in discord since i wanna say the fall before the first skycats thing? and ive been pretty much absent since around when you left. (funnily enough i haven't come up in a single queue in that entire time, or in the year and a half ive been waiting for a project queue >_<)

anyway i wanna say i love and support u and i hope other than this bullshit you're doing well, and also i can definitely corroborate some of the stuff you posted that the afams team has been doing... uh. bad.

especially that part about the one mod having a bunch of complaints about them.. honestly it's at the point where i'm not even sure *which* fucking mod it is lmao. (put some extra info in a second ask)

and the way the two admins treated you, while i didn't see anything super obvious first hand, it always struck me as soooo fucking weird that you could make some of the same kinda jokes that they did, and jokes with "fuck" and "shit" and whatever in them, except you were getting publicly dressed down for it. (i will say there were a couple times you had some less savory jokes HOWEVER you corrected and apologized and didn't do it again. but most times it was regular shit everybody else was saying too, from what i remember)

oh and there was also a couple times where the admins asked for feedback on stuff and i'd try to mention some difficulty, and i'd get completely *publicly* shut down with some ableist nonsense, and nobody would say shit. i'm not comfortable saying exactly what was said, but it was... it was bad. it was bad. like i had to stop going to the discord for like a week when it happened. and myn said she'd talk to the people who did it and now i'm starting to think that just never happened....

I just wanna go on record saying I don't know who this person is but they sound like a an afam helper (not quite a mod bc up until kata we didn't have mods). The server has a few of those. So for the admin babies out there, I didn't tell this person to send this in or anything.

And yes you're absolutely right. The admins loved to ask for feeback or insight on stuff and if it wasn't 100% squeaky clean it'd be shut down. Reminds me of the time one of the admins (not the main ones actually) told me my ideas weren't good and unrealistic during a brain storming thread for an event that never happened last year and no one stepped in to tell her to stop until I stood up for myself and said 'just because they're unrealistic doesn't mean I can't talk about them'.

Some, but certainly not all, of the staff are weirdly ableist as well. I totally forgot about that. I'm a bit mentally disabled but I try and shrug that stuff off so I don't go crazy but I know others are a lot more sensative to that kinda stuff. And while like you said I might have slipped up myself sometimes I did try and correct it and make it right because I didn't realize I'd fucked up until my foot was in my mouth.

And completely agree. You'd go to the admins with an issue about a person and they said they'd deal with it but it... never felt like it did? I remember that was a big point of contention where I was BEGGING the admins to please just TELL US what is happening. Give us updates. Have you followed through with things you said you would? Has the person someone had a problem with been actually spoken to? But it felt like a lotta the time things were sent to the admins and then nothing happened and that's why I always wanted an actual open dialogue so people could SEE what issues there were and hold the admins accountable for those things. But that wasn't allowed bc it was confrontational.

Not all confrontation is negative. It is something that sometimes needs to happen between people so everyone feels heard and understood. But that isn't allowed.

And about your second ask; oh geeze anon I'm so sorry. That sounds horrible. I teared up a little and I'm glad you're away from that person. If you wanna talk more you can always DM me over discord.

[aurekiwi]

Here's my feedback!

First of all, the design/format of the reading is so aestetically pleasing! Super pretty whilst also professional. Additionally, there was SO. MUCH. DETAIL. I felt to lucky to be getting so much content for such a small price (15 pages!!!) 😭😭😭

The oracle cards resonated with me a lot; Especially The Gate and The silence. The former was reassuring because it (imo) represented how I was overestimating how difficult it would be to make the necessary life choices. The quote made this message far more obvious. Anyways, the silence card referred to how I'm literally always distracting myself or avoiding my problems with daydreaming/sleeping/my phone 💀 I have a slight fear of the silence/emptiness/lack of mental stimulation I feel when I try to meditate, which is something I need to tackle.

About future spouse:

•Meeting my fs through connections is a possibility ive seen in quite a few PACs I've read

•From what you descibed, I feel like this process (the beforehand of meeting then) is taking place now; Lately I've been 'Coming out of my shell' much more (I'm actually so nervous bc my sixth form has an event tomorrow, where I'll be working with a bunch of strangers 😖) + I've been slightly less afraid to act like my actual self (If that makes sense) around my friends. Although I deffo need to work on trusting myself

•I'm glad that we'll be able to relate to each other's experiences (I'm pretty sure that's one of my top requirements for a relationship); Also, you were 100% correct abt my trust issues/detatchment

• Their personality is so yum 😭😭😭 I don't really know what else to say since I can't exactly test how much it resonates lol (Remaind me to update you in a few years maybe? LMAO)

• You were right about our ages (In the 17-18 range); AND OMG THE MOODBOARD?! TYSM I SWEAR YOU WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR THIS (Now I'm most likely going to fall asleep daydreaming about him 😍)

For what you wrote about the career section, at the time I was feeling the overwhelm/stress that you mentioned (although this has mostly faded: Summer holidays starting in 2 days :D), as well as my past experiences with people (unfortunately)

Also, the characteristics you wrote in the fulfilling careers part perfectly matched my career aspirations (I'm hoping to be a clinical psychologist in the future), which made me v happy!

One part that didn't resonate as much was the bit abt productivity; One of my main class is that I'm good at planning, but horrible at executing/sticking to plans (Chronic procrastinator 😬) and multitaking with multiple responcibilities

Thank you so much from the reading, and u can't wait for the next one!!! Completely worth the wait :)

Thank you so much for your feedback!

[cringelordofchaos]

ok thanks @sobeksewerrat now I'm having an existential crisis again lmao,.. (/lh also thanks for making me more self aware again ? )

list of things I do that MAY be associated with ADHD and or autism.

MAY,

I don't know if I have it, in not diagnosed and no one has professionally suggested I might have it.

I made a list to organize all my thoughts and I genuinely hate the fact that I'm oversharing shit online again bc i almost never think of consequences of my actions so idk if ke oversharing is bad or good and shit now I'm anxious.

ANYGAY.

Many of these traits are not exclusive to being neurodivergent at all, I'm aware o just wanted to share my experience

Either way it doesn't really matter. ADHD doesn't really get diagnosed here often. And not many specialize in it. So what do I know

List under the cut (it is probably going to be a bit long)

I possibly stim,

I chew things constantly for example, I used to chew my shirts so much a year or two ago and all my clothes had holes bc of that. It got so bad to the point of my mom buying me a fucking pacifier. I learned how to cope by just biting my tongue or just moving my mouth in general but it sometimes hurts not having anythig to bite. When I was really young, like in elementary school, I would bite and eat my own hair and would of fucking course cough bc of it. It was all an automatic involuntary actions. I also used to bite my arm to the point of it getting red. And would always bite my fingers to the point of them bleeding. I still do this, a lot actually, and it's very visible.,it's automatic and I hate it. It's like, I NEED to bite something right fuckinf now or I can't stay alive no more. It used to be worse, I would chew ANYTHING THAT WAS IN FROMT OF ME. I started a COLLECTION of chewed up pencils. Bc whenever they got near my mouth I would chew them. Which is BADDD IF YOU CAN XONTROL IT PLS DOJT DO THISSSS . I never did this because I was anxious or nervous, I just did it bc... I existed ?? Idk whenever I try to Google it up all the results say it's a sign of anxiety but for me it's just a symptom of existing). Whenever I feel anxious, (for example when I have to pass by a human being when getting to my apartment, and then they greet me and I greet them back but I feel like I did it incorrectly somehow and they hate me and think I'm incompetent/.>.gen), I flap my hands a lot (privately + primarily voluntarily) bc i feel just so much anxiety, I'm sure this is normal though. I also flap my hands a lot when I'm happy too. I do this moreso privately but sometimes it's a bit involuntary. When I'm really happy (usually about a wentoon lmao) I do a little dance and flap my hands and it actually feels pretty involuntary because if I DONT get up instantly and get into action it feels very suffocating. I pace around constantly, when thinking to myself I'll just walk In circle for long, sometimes I will just walk in a circle for literal hours. Usually I will move my hands in a weird motion . I rub my fingers against each other also to the point of visible and obvious injury. I don't know how to stop this. I constantly shake my leg though it's really common in neurotypical ppl so I should probably not be making a big deal out of this. There's probably more. Either way it's ,mostly harming to me lmao. But there's also the good in it ig

Okay actually it might take too long to organize everything and explain my whole life story so erm

I get distracted easily, or it's hard for me to pay attention to things I don't really care about, such as school (or moreso it's education system, since I can get actually pretty interested in private lessons) among other things. It's proven to be quite detrimental to me and my grades, to the point of me requiring multiple private classes to not fail a whole class, overall I'm just pretty much incapable of paying attention to stuff like that, but I'm pretty sure it's normal. And deficits in attention has been proven to be a result of modern day technology addiction among many youngsters, myself included, so I do not view this as necessary proof, especially seeing as I am actually capable of paying attention with good teachers in private lessons covering everything slowly enough. So yeah, essays over I am probably neurorypixal

either way

I get really obsessive over the things I'm interested in, I am not sure if they are hyperfixations but many times they get so genuinely intense they are the only thing I can think about. Genuinely. Once while trying to study history, for example, I just couldn't focus on learning history, not because it was uninteresting but because I was thinking of a fictional relationship (Roblox flicker mason x aadiv) and angst and fluff potential. I tried thinking Abt other things but I COULDNT. Also another short example: I once tried reading a book, and even though I could usually read it I just watched the finale of TMF and I literally could not NOT think about drew. just drew. I would try reading a sentence but then my brain would tell me how much I love drew. Goddamn it. This is a regular occurrence and has been proven to be detrimental to my life regarding it's real of my education. Focus on class? No, I can't, I'm trying to draw a symbol for a fictional religion me and my online friend made up. Focus on studying? No, k can't, I have to watch my favorite YouTuber or no, I can't, I have to daydream about being a YouTuber. These obsessions usually last a few weeks or months or so, so not too long, but usually for at least a week, to the point of it merely being mentioned gets me EXTREMELY hyped up. Sonic was probably my longest obsession, consistently lasting for about a year. If not flamingo (YouTube) who I was obsessed with for two years and based my whole personality off of back in the day. Sleep? No, I can't, I have to research neurodivegence. Hang the clothes? No, I can't, I have to pace around the room and think about the whole entire graspable depth of the relationship between Sean and daisy, as well as Sean's character alone and many implications surrounding his existence. I think y'all get the gist. Oh also I was once obsessed with TOH so much I literally knew so much Abt it and was so obsessed with it and if you gave me a line I could instantly tell you from which episode it was and I HUGELY related to Luz who's canonically neurodivergent and implied to have ADHD. This could all just me being passionate or obsessive thoug

Poor memory; I'm pretty sure this is the case buster, I lose things all the goddamn time it's actually traumatized me ti this point, losing a sharpener will get me having a whole breakdown screaming crying for an hour straight. Forgetting tests n stuff too, or forgetting ti check my to-do list Every . Single. Goddamn time.again this could probably stem from overuse of digital devices and electronics. So.

Oversensitivity to surroundings; aka possible sensory issues. I am pretty sensitive to noise, usually light too and smoke, and while I thought my reactions to surroundings were pretty normal (covering my ears, mouth, or squinting my eyes), upon observation I have noticed others do not do the things I do. Which is odd. How are they not suffering?? Anyway, sometimes I get overwhelmed so I etiehr try to ignore it or I escape. Literally. At times, things are louder and messier and more confusing and irritating. Also for food it's to a lesser degree but *lately* there's this food I forgot what it was called in English and chewing on it feels so utterly disgusting to the point where I'll cry bc the texture is just so extremely horrible and I literally spit it out of my window bc i didn't want my parents to see me not eating it. Bit then again I was able to eat the same food but bought from a different place, idk

Emotional disregulation; this could really just be me being a teenager, with hormones - you know how either you could have "two modes" you either feel like a GOD and everything is AMAZING or EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE AND YOU WANT TO DIE?? Those extreme emotions?? Well, at least according to my kom, it's a pretty normal process of puberty, so I should probably not pay it much mind. This goes out to my "possible" rsd (I say possible bc like while I'm unsure for being nd, there's no fucking way I don't have rsd...) I get extremely, extremely sensitive when it comes to any form of treatment k get that I could perceive as rejection, and many times I avoid any form of social interactions just for the sake of not being rejected in the slightest. My friend called me stuojd as a joke without tone indicators? I WILL have a breakdown abt it and I WONT communicate it to my friend bc i don't wanna disappoint them or make them feel like it's their fault. I'm really insecure and probably feel this way due to my childhood. Though, feelings of emberassment guilt or rejection sre in most cases common due to natural instincts, y'know, we couldn't have survived without communities, which practically the modern day brain translates rejection = death. Except there's not a real physical threat. Yada yada y'all know Abt this. So I don't think this proves anything, it's just a natural instinct I suppose, though idk if many ppl experience it as often and strongly as I do or if they just never talk about it. Sometimes I will get the lightest criticism ever and I WILL cry Abt it unless it was absolutely clear it was a joke lmao. And I always feel like things are super targeted at me even when they're not. Ive had so much breakdowns over this it's not funny.

Sleep issues: I am writing this as 1 AM is approaching. Need I say more.

Physical hyperactivity: see "stimming" section. I can't exist without moving unless I am asleep.

Mental hyperactivity??: sometimes my brain will be so loud my ears will genuinely hurt, don't ask how this works I actually don't know, it's in a rarer occasion however.

Resting bitch face: I've had people ask me so, so so often if I was sad or okay or ANGRY when I was feeling completely neutral. And they always say how I look angry. But I don't get it. But whatevs. I guess it just comes naturally, idk why. Maybe everyone else has a resting bitch face too and they just never rest idkk

Fuck I'm doing the finger thing rn it hurts so goddamn much

Anyway

Executive dysfunction?? Sometimes I feel like I literally can't physically do stuff and it takes me a ton of effort to get into a shower and I cry each time for reasons unknown. Though ut could just be me being s teenager and yearning for feelings of independence and control bc it's a normal thing for ppl experiencing puberty. But then again I don't see anyone else being like me except my brother who's in elementary school

I have taken online quizzes, I KNOW ITS NOT A RELIABLE SOURCE AT ALL, I just took them to see the results and also bc i wanted to research neurodivegence more and on literally all the quizzes I took over the years, all the time (except once I think) I got "you probably have ADHD". I know it doesn't prove anything and online quizzes don't take ones life context into account but I feel as if it is a BIT worth noting?

Possible meltdowns ?? Idk. I don't want to make it seem like it's a lesser deal than it is bc it's not. But for example once I accidentally left bread crumbs on my bed and my mom got really anxious and started yelling at me a bit and I was crying and covered my ears and started SCREAMING and did not get over it for a while. I frequently experience (like every day or two) periods of time where I am just on the floor or in my bed extremely anxious sad and yelling over the most genuinely minor experiences

*Possible* intrusive thoughts - (TW VIOLENCE) whenever I think of an embarrassing or cringe memory when I feel like I somehow screwed up a tiny bit my mind instantly makes me think of me peeling off the skin off of my head and it bleeding, or my arm being chopped off into two parts. Many times I will look at the window and get anxious thinking what if I just threw my most prized possession through there. Also happened once when my mom was standing in front of it and my mind made me think "what if I yelled and she fell you would be a horrible person wouldn't you". Also I sometimes think of DISGUSTING sexual thoughts and they pop up randomly and I don't like it. Anyway I'm not sure if these r by definition intrusive thoughts but they're involuntary and annoying and correct me if I'm wrong

Comfort item - dude I used to bring this plushie everywhere with me for years until I stopped and just put him in a special place so he wouldn't accidentally get damaged. I literally could not live without holding him. Like some super emotional attachment. Sometimes I talk to him. I also realized that when I wasn't holding something in my hand my hands felt too empty and suddenly I had to move them in weird ways (see stimming section for reference) so maybe that's why

I don't have a special interest (smth I was UTTERLY OBSESSED W MULTIPLE YEARS) so ig that crosses out the possibility of me being autistic

I also constantly hc my fav characters as neurodiverse and hen proceed to self project onto them and I constantly daydream about making YouTube videos Abt the theories of them being neurodiverse. Idk why I brought this up

Weird (emotional) empathy ? If someone is crying in front of me I'll probably feel genuinely nothing but anxious bc i WANT to help them feel better but idk how to and other times I get super empathetic with fictional characters or people seen on screen. Idk why I feel like a terrible person for this sometimes. I'll also feel bad for Minecraft trees and having to cut them but that's sympathy not empathy. As for cognitive empathy though it's pretty normal and my mom has noted I'm pretty good at it ?

Genetics: my sister is probably questioning it and sorts acts like it and goes to a psychologist, my mom has said she thinks she might have ADHD once out loud, my brother also watches some YouTube videos Abt ADHD and has been to a psychologist once, none are diagnosed but many speculate it, coincidence? Unsure

That's all I can think of for now

Bye

God why did I post this erughhhhh