#bc only sexy bitches have bipolar

[hotgirlmuseboardxo]

It's impossible not to be obsessed with you. Sexy, fun, angelic, stoner, snowbunny, perfection

those r all surface level reasons for obsessing over me tho lol so likeeee understand that my dilemma in life is that people see me and think/expect me to be perfect based on my appearance or what i do for work or how i take care of myself. then once they realize i’m bipolar, or have substantial ptsd from trauma, or that i don’t let people in my life get away with bullshit or neglecting themselves or ignoring their higher purpose i am pretty much left with my parents being the only consistent figures in my life lmfao. i do not have a single friend who i can just call up at anytime to talk about my feelings or make plans with. its not for lack of trying its just like people’s vibrations genuinely aren’t aligned with mine and god keeps me sososo protected after everything i’ve been through and im grateful for that but it’s lonely as fuckkkk. i be wanting to clone myself bc she’s the only bitch who understands and focuses on solutions instead of problems and chooses to see love in everything.

so all this to sayyyy, if you can’t handle the heat don’t come in the kitchen frfrfrfrfr bc it makes me emotional to realize how unlike the rest of u i am but i’m more comfortable in my solitude than i am with fleeting, fickle connections 🧘🏻‍♀️

[queer-bipolar-support]

hi im gay, trans n bipolar and spent the last summer swimming in the paranoia, emotional instability, whispering voices and boundless energy aimed at self-hatred, self-destruction and ruining of family bonds but hey at least it meant i finally got meds anyway follow me for queer bipolar content and submit cool shit for me to post

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #357

“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall  /  we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”

Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot. What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines. If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too! Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily. Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know. What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me. Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place. Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out. How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name? Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad. What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black. Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous. Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property. Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No. Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it. What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them... What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know. Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye. Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so. What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question. Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No. Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both. What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol. Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30. What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one. If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all. When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug* Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers." Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so. Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books. When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow. Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once. Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate. Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day. By the way, what is your name? Brittany. What time zone do you live in? EST. Do you like cats? I love cats. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno. What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle. If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No. Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with. Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially. Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend” or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.

[falloutboywife]

do u have any fob fic recs?

HEWWO YES i have a fuckton of fics to rec, i mostly just read peterick ones (i can’t find a lot of wentzporta or the rarest of rarepairs: stumporta, but i wanna start seeing if i can find any good trohley or joetrick fics) but i have an INSANE amount that i can suggest, i’ll link them and then offer a summary and tags for the content.

disclaimer: i don’t know if you were asking for nsfw fics but that’s like. all that i ever read unless it’s a REALLY good fic or character study or things like that. i’m also gonna warn that some of these are very dark because i like stories that tackle dark themes and a lot of them uh. let’s just say i like tttyg and futct a lot because i love the lore and dynamics surrounding the band in its early days so the eras i like to read fics about will reflect that

there are some in this list that are decidedly more normal than others, and even if some of the tags i mention sound like the fic is gonna be messed up, i can assure you there are way more fics lighter in tone than others in this list. like if a fic is BAD i mention it

I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE IF THIS ISN’T WHAT YOU WERE ASKING also these are in the order that i was able to find them so the quality/how much i like it isn’t in order

https://adellyna.livejournal.com/358618.html this one is about pete letting patrick drink for his seventeeth birthday, warnings for underage up the wazoo

https://adellyna.livejournal.com/355836.html patricksitting is like, THE peterick fic it’s about pete being patrick’s babysitter while his parents are out of town, again underage tag

https://adellyna.livejournal.com/350184.html ANOTHER fic about pete letting underage patrick drink but this time? pete’s recording him. warnings for underage shit and potential dubcon (i wouldn’t call it that bc it’s not how i interpreted it but the author tagged it, so)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/254157 this is a dance dance au where patrick fucks nerd!pete

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045467 this fic is SO good it’s about the time where pete and patrick got into that really bad fight behind the convenience store while on tour, the one where pete choked patrick so hard he couldn’t sing the next day, this one has like. fight sex i guess is the term. i guess you could call this a darkfic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/522666 this is one of my favorites, it’s about pete kidnapping babystump and patrick developing stockholm syndrome but i PROMISE it is way more heartwarming than that, it’s not a hardcore kidnapping darkfic i swear. underage warning WOW THERE’S A LOT OF THESE

https://archiveofourown.org/works/239403 this is one of the funniest fucking fics i ever read, the premise is that pete pretends to be patrick’s boyfriend to piss patrick’s parents off. underage warning yet again

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25420678 this one is short but literally anything by this author is great, this is @castleinthsky here on tumblr. wilson is a fantastic author and i wish she wrote more, i’d literally read a novel if she wrote it, same with adellyna on lj. this is about pete lusting after patrick but it’s all just him masturbating to the idea of him, underage warning YET AGAIN

https://archiveofourown.org/works/158907 this one is about pete and patrick right after a show fucking in one of the hallways

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069202 OH GOD THIS ONE IS SO FUCKING HOT this is one where pete is super controlling over patrick during sex he acts like a fucking scumbag it’s SO sexy but The Ending Will Warm Your Heart. i know this one is van days so it MIGHT be underage because i’m just a fucking creep i guess

https://archiveofourown.org/works/443472 okay this is one of my favorite fics of all time, this is part two in a series the author wrote about the idea of patrick having a twin brother, the first one is shorter and just introduces you to the idea but the second one is a fully fleshed out story and i love it so fucking much, you should seriously check this one out because this is one of the best fics out there period. warning for underage and incest YES I’M AWARE OF WHAT I’M LINKING PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK

inb4 “nyan do you read any fics that aren’t weird as shit” PLEASE I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9871037 this is also by castleinthsky and it’s a lot more tame than what i linked before, this is just a cute 2008 fic where they’re on their way to the next town at night and patrick is drunk in the back with pete

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4373366 okay this one is a double whammy and also one of my favorite aus, this is 2011 patrick and 2007 pete. i LOVE the idea of different eras with each other, like i love the idea of post-hiatus pete and patrick ganging up on one of their younger selves and this one specifically is 2011 trick with 2007 pete. the same author ALSO wrote...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4168323 this, which is literally just post-hiatus pete and patrick fucking babystump. it is so goddamn good warnings for selfcest and underage yaddah yaddah you get the point by now

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24333673 this is like the creepiest fic on this list, it’s straight up just pete being a creep (i loooove creepy pete so much if you haven’t noticed) and hypersexualizing van days trick and i feel like at this point i don’t need to warn you what’s in it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163036 this is just really rough peterick sex but i also like stories where patrick is a fucking violent bitch so i’m throwing it in here. i love brattystump so much

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4307196 this is a two-part series that is also, that’s right, about patrick starring in a sex tape but this time instead of his consent being very dubious, he’s doing it intentionally as a gift for pete. i think patrick is 17 in this

i am deeply considering not even posting this list at this point because of how many times i’ve used the term “underage” to describe one of these. i swear to god it’s not how it looks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20685 OKAY. BEWENTZED. THIS IS MY NUMBER ONE FAVORITE PETERICK FIC AND IT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS OF ALL TIME it’s like this REALLY long form bewitched au sort of thing where pete is the literal devil and he gives patrick seven wishes, but each wish patrick makes is turned into a lesson about how he can’t force friendships or fame or success and pete twists them in a way that backfires in his face. this is seriously one of the best fucking fics i’ve ever read and even though patrick is in high school in this PLEASE ignore that if that squicks you out because this fic is fucking legendary. this and patricksitting are CRUCIAL to the peterick extended universe

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32760 this is a short one where patrick needs to get laid but the only person around who can do it is pete because joe won’t make a direct offer and he’s pretty sure andy is far from interested

https://archiveofourown.org/works/335389 eden burns is another legendary fic that’s about pete treating patrick like shit as the two are growing up together, this has triggers up the fucking ass so i’d really suggest reading the tags and summary before reading this but it deals heavily with the psychological aspects of molestation rather than just as a kink thing. it’s THAT kind of dark fic i fucking love it i love looking completely insane

https://jamjar.livejournal.com/99731.html OKAY A FIC WHERE IT’S NOT PATRICK THAT’S IN HIGH SCHOOL FOR ONCE this is an age reversal fic and while it doesn’t explore the potential of the idea as much as i’d like it’s still a really good read, it’s about patrick and pete switching ages and it builds an entire setting around that, where pete goes to high school with joe and patrick is trying to establish himself as a musician with andy. pete is a very angsty and emotional teen in this it’s so good

https://swear-jar.livejournal.com/697877.html OH THIS IS A FIC I SERIOUSLY JUST DISCOVERED this one is sooooo fucking hot it’s so weird, it really elaborates on when pete was unmedicated when he was younger so the logic in this one is super fun to figure out. i love fics that try their own interpretation of pete when he was unmedicated and unstable because it’s so fascinating trying to explore his psychology in a safe and creative environment, and i relate to a lot of stories like these because i have bipolar like pete and when it was unmedicated while i was younger it destroyed my fucking life so i understand a lot of the things he used to do or say about himself, anyway in this fic he jerks off to patrick in his sleep without him knowing so warnings for that and for vomit. i wouldn’t call this a darkfic just really bizarre and i love it for that

https://giddygeek.livejournal.com/138523.html and this is the last rec i have for now, it’s another dance dance au where both pete and patrick gang up on nerd patrick and it’s very cute

please don’t be mean to me i pay my taxes on time and i vote democrat and bernie should have won the nomination instead of biden

[rriellespeaks]

Meet Insomniac Confessions!

Hey my night owls! I never talk about my business online, but I wanna discuss my biggest flaw: my mental health. See I’m fun, witty, intellectual, very confident, compassionate, and non judgmental. I’m just struggling mentally. I have yet to be diagnosed but I know I might suffer from bipolar depression, as well as social anxiety. It’s a lot you guys! Let’s jump right into it!

For starters, I’m socially awkward. Whenever I go out, I’d like a place to sit, preferably a section, a drink, and some food. Anything less than that, I’m uncomfortable. I get nervous, sweaty, and a little dizzy. I’m not good in crowds, which is why I hate concerts, clubs, and bars. I’m always in my house because I feel the safest. Not many people in my space. Clubs are crowded, hot, loud, and a waste of energy. It takes an act of Congress to even get to the restroom. My mind races the most when I’m out in public. I feel like everyone is staring at me (which could be true Bc a bitch pretty af😂), I feel like the walls are closing in, and like I can’t breathe. I feel that way every time I go to a party or whatever with the girls. That’s why a seat is mandatory for me.

Next, I can never sleep at night. It’s not because I have nightmares, hell I barely dream. It’s because my mind is the most active for my creativity. That’s when the house is quiet and I can actually focus on my creativity. I’m inspired constantly, I just make a note and revisit it later. I’m working on books, scripts, music, and inventions. Ya girl is a fucking genius! Anyways, every night I stay up until 5am. I might get 4-5 hours of sleep on a good day. I often nap for an hour during the day as well. My energy level is always high, but mentally I’m always exhausted.

Some days, I’m cool. Like I can go out with no problem and enjoy myself. I can actually deal with any inconvenience and not trip out over it, and I can easily let things go. I have the time of life and have genuine good feelings and positive thoughts. It’s amazing! Other days, I’m manic, mainly verbally. I think about all the ways to punch someone in the face or choking them. It’s to the point where I wanna fight everyone who irritates me, which is literally everyone! I mean like the lady talking loud on the phone, the white guy with a smug look on his face, the white lady who doesn’t say “excuse me”, etc. EVERYBODY! I never act on my thoughts, but my thoughts can be gruesome when annoyed. There’s no in between.

It also affects my dating life. Some days it’s “Hey baby! I miss you! Wanna FaceTime? Here’s a sexy selfie!” Other days it’s “4 missed calls. Unread messages. Ignoring the hell out of them. Being disinterested in conversations. Leave me alone mentality.” It never fails! I’m single Bc I’m still trying to figure out why. Why am I so hot and cold? I hate playing with people’s emotions so I’m hard to get, only Bc I don’t want to be had. I’m not really interested in being in a relationship and I’m not sure it’ll last. I’m working on it. It just won’t be easy but I’m not giving up. Another issue is the fact if I get bored too fast! For example, I can be in a relationship with a person who gets me. They can love me through whatever and never leave me. I’ll still get bored with them. Unsure why that is but it’s me. I’m working on it though. I’m meditating more, spending time with friends and family, journaling again, and praying. These days, I feel a lot better but I think it’s time I see a therapist. I don’t really want to take meds but I’m open to other alternatives.

Focus on your mental health! It’s ok to ask for help. It doesn’t make you any less than human because you acknowledge your feelings and thoughts and need help sorting things out. A wonderful individual like myself is suffering just like you. It’ll be ok!

-Insomniac Confessions

[mvrnic]

UPDATED BIO/ABOUT POST !!

this is gonna be a wild ass ride hold tight folks

Marnie Shea Marisol is 22 and is from Brooklyn New York.

TW: ADDICTION, TW: DRUGS, TW: ALCOHOLISM lets just say marnie has never had it easy. she grew up with her dad being absent most of his life. he was never home and was using every paycheque he got to spend it on gambling and alcohol and drugs. and her mother who worked as a waitress wasn’t exactly making a lot of money. they lived in a one bedroom apartment in brooklyn and basically survived off foodstamps.

TW: DEATH her father died when marnie was 3 so she genuinely doesn’t have much memory of him because she was really young and he was never there. the fun part of this was he had another bitch on the side who he had a daughter with so marnie has a half sister from her dads cheating shenanigans.

she literally hates her father more than words can describe. marnie doesn’t talk to her mum really ever? and her brother ditched her when he found out she was stripping and doing porn so she’s been on her own since she was 17/18. so she’s self sufficient and hates when people try to help her because it makes her feel like she’s incompetent.

she hated school. wasn’t good at it. skipped class all the time. was a horrible kid to teach and definitely has flirted her way into grades before. and has also probably fucked at least one of her teachers. 

SHE’S NOT GOOD WITH CONFRONTATION and when i say that i don’t mean she hates it. in fact she kinda loves fighting. physical, yelling, emotionally playing games with people she hates like she’s down if you get her to that point. no what i mean is if you get hostile with her, her instant reaction is to punch you in the face.

and just fair warning, marnie can really, really fight like she’s broken a grown ass mans jaw before please don’t fight her. 

she has ADHD and Dyslexia so learning for her is actually genuinely hard. she has a horrible time concentrating and gets really worked up when things don’t make sense in her brain. she’s a little airheaded and hates it, like genuinely she gets so embarrassed when people are talking and she has no idea what they’re on about. there’s maybe two (2) people she trusts to ask what things mean and that’s Sebastian and Angel. 

“he’s a paediatrician.”  “oh like someone who gives pedicures” a real conversation she’s probably had.

the worst thing you can do is call her out if she says something dumb or airheaded or call her dumb, it’ll fucking kill her it’s honestly one of her biggest insecurities.  

TW: MENTAL HEALTH marnie was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder last year which explains a lot of how she acted over her teenage and early adulthood life. she has anger outburst, she gets incredibly violent at times and has the tendencies to be impulsive and reckless. but she’s now on her medication to help her with her BPD.

marnie has been kinda shit her whole life because growing up and having basically everything that could go wrong, go wrong and live in such horrible living conditions really made her hate the world. she’d use anybody that had something to offer her, sex, money, drugs, attention --anything. 

she’s been in more bar fights than i can count.

she started stripping at 18 and got into porn just before her 19th birthday. and when i tell you she was good at her job BITCH SHE WAS THE BEST AT HER JOB.

but being in the sex industry also leads you to a lot of men that’ll use, abuse and take advantage of you 

like i said she’s never felt good enough, no one in her life really ever called her beautiful. it was always hot and sexy and you know being sexualised and what not so she’s never felt like she could be soft and delicate and pretty.

she’s got boob implants bc she loves having bigger boobs and yuh she does everything she can to get curves bc it’s super easy for her to be really tiny (she loses weight scarily quick) and look like a 13 year old. 

TW: ABUSE TW: SEXUAL ABUSE TW: RAPE marnie has had a string of relationships or hookups that were really, really horrible but the issue is she knows she’s been a shit person so she just accepted it as what she deserved. she had a boyfriend that would lace her drinks so she’d be doped out and he could basically manipulate her into doing what he wanted. he was very physically abusive to her (so if she doesn’t know you or trust you like that like and you reach out for her and she flinches don’t take it personally) she has a big scar on her thigh from when he pushed her down a flight of stairs and her bare thigh got caught on a nail that was sticking out of the railing. 

sex for her has been a way for her to basically just feel like someone loves her. like she’s never felt good enough or loved so sex was the only way she ever got affection off of anyone and its why she slept around so much. 

angel has been the only person to bring her back into her body, like sex is more than searching to feel good about herself with him. he is genuinely the first person she’s made love with not just fucked. 

she is very stand offish and bitchy and afraid to make friends because she has major trust issues but underneath it all marnie is so, so, so soft. like she comes across as this sexually driven whore bitch but she just wants to be loved and wants to feel safe.

like the most cuddly, affectionate person ever if you earn it from her. 

RIDE OR DIE BITCH. once she loves you there’s no chance in hell she’d ever give up on you. that bitch will ride until the wheels burn up. 

then probably help you get new wheels and continue to ride with you.

she’s lowkey actually really funny and chill but she’s just hard to crack her shell? 

angel is her entire world, like he saved her from a life of torture and being mistreated like he treats her like a queen and keeps her safe and like she knows how he can treat others but she lowkey doesn’t care because of how he treats her (and she’s gross and weirdly turned on by bad boys who are good to her and she loves tats and boys who can fight like...issues man issues.)

she has a son and thats her weak point, beyond anything else her son is the reason she’s alive. xander is her melting point. she loves him more than she could ever love someone and the second she saw him was the second she knew she could never be like her parents when it comes to him 

oh yuh she doesn’t work in porn or stripping anymore she makes music now but her main job tbh is being a mum