#bc shows used to have a bajillion episodes

[torchickentacos]

So my sister and I were talking and this happened (a masterpiece made in 30 seconds) (long tags)

[jovenshires]

wait smosh taskmaster would be SUCH a massive slay wow. immediately my mind went to shayne as alex horne ! but greg i could see as diff options bc i don’t think any cast members embody that archetype personality wise as is but i could def see them put their own spins on em as a character if that makes sense ? would love to see what damien or chanse could come up with (bonus pts for being tall). but i also just realized arasha would be good too lmaoo. OH and that tommy as greg and spencer as alex would be SO good. and then for contestants would love to have angela, two that don’t end up in the above roles, keith, and than a rando crew member that we don’t see that often to shake it up - maybe vida bc they killed it in tntl and they do improv? wait also loved patrick making a reappearance so him as well. obvi would love to see most of the cast /crew participate as contestants if it’s like a recurring series ! ok clearly this show is perf for smosh considering i included a bajillion people in this ask pls kiana i’m begging 🙏 - spencersagnew

@spencersagnew YOU. YOU GET ME. i love your takes,,,, shayne as alex and arasha as greg specifically is everything to me. i'll put my cast out there but your takes are incredible and you've never been wrong.

tommy as the taskmaster. i think he just has that dry humor and can lean into the antagonistic nature really well while still being a fair judge and interacting well with the contestants. he's also just one of my favorite hosts of anything ever so ill let him do whatever he wants

garrett as the taskmaster's assistant. LISTEN. LISTEN. we need someone pathetic. someone who can be a punching bag. someone who's a little unhinged. someone who will get bullied by the cast and just take it, but also someone who has the Audacity. and That's Garrett. he fits the bill. i'll say honorable mention to shayne bc i think he would do this really well too but there's something about garrett that i think people would just take to using him as a puppet, a prop, whatever they needed for their tasks. and then get shit from him as soon as they're in the studio.

ian as contestant number one (The Grumpy Old Man). look, i have the taskmaster casting system boiled down to a science. i truly believe almost every cast can fit into these categories (almost! almost all!) and so i'm going by the same metric for smoshmaster. and we're starting off strong with the grumpy old man archetype. i think he'll be generally annoyed by everything. tommy, garrett, the other contestants, the tasks, whatever. he has a really dry sense of humor that'll balance everybody else out, and an above-it-all attitude that you can't help but respect. examples of this include julian clary, frankie boyle, and dara o briain.

angela as contestant number two (The World's Strangest Woman). every season needs one woman who just goes about the tasks in The Most Insane Way, and that's angela. point blank period. is she gonna win? probably not! but who knows! she's a wild card! she's the one who says her legs are basically just arms without fingers, you know. i think she'd just panic and do. whatever. no planning, go with her gut instinct. she'd also be super competitive and her reactions when she realized just how bad she fucked up.... incredible. examples include lucy beaumont, jenny eclair, and fern brady.

spencer as contestant number three (The Loveable Goofball). look. LOOK. you know him. you love him. he probably won't win. but god is it fun to watch. he's generally kind of pathetic, and while he fails miserably, you can't help but root for him, feel bad for him, and point and laugh at him all at once. he's going about the tasks either half-heartedly or putting his whole soul into it with absolutely no in-between. he might win an episode, but it's because the edit is throwing him a bone. spencer's really good at putting on that character of. miserable dude. the heel of it all. but also balancing that out with his quick wit and intelligence. he's perfect for this. some examples are susan wokoma, ivo graham, and john kearns

chanse as contestant number four (The Fan Favorite). he's hot. he's smart. he's funny. everybody likes him. he is the People's Champion. everyone wants him to win - even the taskmaster is a Little biased. he has electric chemistry with everyone, somehow, you can't really figure out how. he absolutely kills ALL the tasks but especially the prize tasks. i also think chanse would just have the funniest reactions to what everyone Else is doing. like i think he'd stand by what he did until the bitter end (even if he did something fucking insane) but everyone else he would relentlessly make fun of. god i want him on this show so bad. anyway, my examples for this are sam campbell, kiell smith-bynoe, and munya chawawa.

courtney as contestant number five (The Only Competent One on the Board). everyone else is fucking insane, but courtney is holding down the fort. she's always handling the tasks in a smart, efficient way that seems like the most logical way to go about it. they frequently outsmart the prompts and the competition. whether or not they win it all, they just seem like they deserve it most. her humor also brings a really nice balance of riding that line of silly goofy and smart and quick. i think courtney rounds out this cast really well (and is my personal pick to win <3). examples of this are sue perkins, mae martin, and sarah milican.

im flexible on the teams, although i think my personal pick is spencer / courtney / angela and ian / chanse bc. comedy to me. also i will say i think i could go on for like. at least two more seasons building different casts truly this is not the Only combo. anyway kiana call me i've got big plans

[googledocsdyke]

thinking incredibly earnestly about like why i unironically love bite me (a google slides social media au) as much as i do and why it’s so fucking funny and i think a huge part of it is that it lays bare the process of total decontextualisation that generally is at work within the self-contained world of like, fic in general. like, in many ways most fic is the same fic. i think we can generally agree on this. obviously there are like fics that transform the way you view the source text, or fics that generate their own world and fandom (down to agincourt), or fics with profound complex thematic engagement (so says the sword) or fics that have their own specific cult status (my immortal, twist and shout). but like the reason the fic ecosystem chugs along, the reason bajillions of fics are posted to ao3 every day, is because of the kind of fic that is so clearly based off other fic, maybe just shifted 2 degrees to the left.

like fanfiction IS by and large a repetitive medium that is often primarily interested in working off and re-articulating very widely accepted tropes. think of all the largely identical 15x20 fix-it codas you may have read. or this harry potter au i wrote when i was fourteen years old that could not have ANYTHING less to do with the actual characters dean, cas, or charlie as written in-show, or even like, anything to do with hogwarts as a setting. there was NO reason it needed to be a harry potter au. why the hell were the x-men there? there was no characterisation. the presence of potions homework, and gryffindor dean, and “charlie ships it,” were all just empty signifiers towards a narrative that i knew better from reading other fics than from watching the show itself. actually, i think at this point i hadn’t even watched any charlie episodes, but you wouldn’t be able to tell! because i lifted my concept of charlie wholesale from other fics that asserted that this was her “characterisation” and her place in the story. like it Was a 1600-word exercise in copy-paste, which is what large amounts of fanfiction are and historically have been. and is so fundamental to why we keep coming back to them

and i’m not saying this as like. a normative or “judgmental” statement in any way! i think there’s no point in insisting that all fic be like. deeply grounded in discrete characterisation or a sincere engagement with the complex themes of the original text, or whatever. firstly because a) most people writing fic ARE young teens/young adults who do so as a kind of participatory gesture, a low-effort way to signal their earnest investment in a particular ship or imagined narrative, and b) decontextualisation is like… at the beating heart of what fanfiction is. like most fanfiction is not “literary” (in huge skeptical quotes bc of how contested that very term even is) but it also feels like it’s a mistake to… ask it to be? i’m thinking along the lines of this post, where gothhabiba asks that we “articulate an actual theory of how and why fanfiction is created, its relationship to other kinds of media and writing, and what it does for the people who write and read it,” rather than “arguing about whether or not it’s ‘good’” . because that is truly a moot point!

i think as most of us return for the renaissance, some 6-7 years older, we’re now at the point where we’re able to engage (more) critically with the substantive text of the show, the actual themes it engages and (mis)handles, the cultural context in which it was produced, the texts it builds off of, intentionally or unintentionally, and the critical frameworks we can apply to it. and all of that is like overall a very good and interesting thing!! but it’s also so interesting when paired alongside the decontextualising impulse that drives a LOT of fandom engagement

ANYWAYS. all this to say that like 95% percent of the joy of bite me is how unapologetically ooc it is. like this is the continuous thing i’ve been talking about other people with. you could copy-paste any characters from any broadly popular media into this situation and the characterisation/speech would be no more or less jarring; it would still make the same amount of “sense” from an in-universe perspective. nothing about this au is really about dean and cas so much as it’s about decontextualised figures LABELLED dean and cas (and again, this is not some literary condemnation or smth, the majority of fic does this in some way! i’m just using bite me as an example). we are told to believe that sam winchester, a grown white man & published author, says “yall wildin” unprompted and that kaia nieves tweets things like “oomf famoose” and it’s fucking hilarious. it’s so good. because intentionally or not, it DOES reveal how much of fic, as a genre, is utterly separated from the characters they propose to be telling a story about.

i said earlier today that bite me is a social media au written in a riverdalian fashion, and i don’t just mean that in a general “it’s bad but good but outrageous” way, but more specifically that both bite me and riverdale decide on something objectively absurd and instead of shying away from it or trying to cover up the writer’s lack of knowledge, it faces it head on. like we ARE told unapologetically and continuously that actors live in their trailers when they’re filming a movie, that a hashtag trending for one day is enough to get a magazine writer that hasn’t been accused of sexual misconduct fired, that dean and cas are starring in a gay romantic comedy called fucking trainspotting. and the writer doesn’t/won’t/shouldn’t apologise for a word of that. in the same way that riverdale will look you dead in the eye and say “archie is going to war and world war ii-era combat aesthetics never ended even though it’s 2020” or “jughead got into the iowa writer’s workshop despite never having been an undergrad” and like what are you supposed to do? make fun of it?? the text doesn’t CARE if you make fun of it! it’s light years ahead of you! it’s so totally unconcerned with this “realism” you’re supposedly chasing that the joke doubles back on you.

so like tldr: bite me is emblematic of the decontextualising urge at the heart of your average fanfiction, lays bare its own ridiculousness, and raises genuinely fascinating questions abt what fanfiction as a text is meant to be or do. also kaia and claire fall in love on stan twt. UNPARALLELED media experience

[propaganda-for-poets]

🎞 pitts and neil friendship?

ooo ok i love love LOVE this one, i have been DYING to talk abt pitts!!!!!!!!!! and pitts and neil i!!!!!! they're besties. goodbye. also these aren't a lot and mostly just elaborating on stuff, i know, but me and star are doing the hcs together and today's been a little difficult to actually do that bc she's been studying and i've been out when they weren't so,,, yea. weird schedule. still, i hope they're okay :)

okok so!!

pitts and neil friendship hcs !!

ok pitts and neil actually roomed together for two years before todd came along!! the rooming arrangements changed a lot every year because there was an odd number of students and they didn't want one of them to be the one without a roommate every year

plus there was stuff every year that made nolan,,,,, reconsider some rooming arrangements

see: the year he paired meeks with charlie and they set the curtains on fire

THEY GIVE EACHOTHER GIFTS LIKE ALL THE TIME

Like if they’re on a hike and they see a cool flower or a pretty walk they’ll just hand it to the other

Or if they see a store that reminds them of the other they’ll buy something for them :’)

pitts and neil def watch sitcoms together

one of them will have a bad day and they'll just meet in one of their dorms and binge 5 episodes of himym and just talk

they've probably rewatched the same shows together about eight times it's ridiculous

oh they're the gods of blanket forts

they probably made a fort in their dorm when they shared one year and never took it down

and after they weren't roommates anymore they still made them in each other's dorms until meeks or todd would walk in exasperated like

",,,guys seriously i need to sleep and this took us like an hour and a half to take down last time,,"

sometimes if they're really tired and don't feel like taking down the fort they'll switch roommates

meeks and todd will share a room for a night and neil and pitts will sleep in their KICKASS AWESOME blanket fort

they both def have like eight blankets and a bajillion pillows in their beds

not just for the fort they just like to be comfy, but the fort thing definitely made them bring even more

neil loves when todd helps him with his lines but pitts is definitely his favorite person to run lines with

he'll just make these random faces and impressions just trying to get neil to crack the entire time it's hilarious

and niel's doing his best to stay in character

sometimes he makes it!! but most times pitts will just pull some ridiculous voice or slightly alter a line that definitely did not say that and they'll just lose it and laugh for like 5 minutes

[bendyguitarpick]

I swear this will be my last wandavision rant but oh my god, did they do reshoots and put all the sword exposition after the fact??? everything is RIGHT THERE for a REALLY GOOD lovecraftian thriller where we slowly learn that wanda is all powerful nightmare god. Vision is already doing the straight man who is growing suspicious trope really well, asking the same questions we are, BUT INSTEAD OF LETTING US LEARN WITH HIM they explained everything AS IT WAS HAPPENING. Like could you imagine, if the only hints of the outside world was that shot of Monica laying in the grass at the end of episode 3, and then the shot of wanda going out of the town with the drone in this episode? It would've revealed that she is in control of the town at the PERFECT time, when we are all confused and trying yo pinpoint who is in control. Having all that happen just as everything in the sitcom is at its weirdest wouldve been perfect.

What a waste of a setup, and it was A REALLY GOOD SET UP. at first youre just watching a show that's charming and cute and paying homage to sitcoms, and bc you know already that its marvel you're suspicious of the format. And with every episode you see more and more little easter eggs that remind you that there is an outside world. They HAD IT ALL SHOT AND DONE, they didnt need to add anything they just had to edit the SWORD plotlines until right after this episode when the sitcom was at its most absurd.

Im so over all the self referential marvel plot shit. I cant help but wonder if this was a netflix marvel show it wouldn't have to do all the setup for a bajillion different franchises. Im so tired, why does every piece of superhero media have to be a commercial for the next thing, why are you allergic to making a self contained good show??

[biomic]

Honestly, the sheer amount of toys that Toei's shoving down our throats is the worst part of Saber so far. Gaim and Ghost had a lot of toys to sell in their first couple of episodes and they never felt nearly as intrusive as they are here.

i think it’s the combination of a large rider cast AND a multi-gadget belt system, which isn’t a combo we’ve really seen before

for the former, shows like gaim and zero-one only had one slot per belt to start with so there wasn’t any need to show off mixing and matching gimmicks. kouta and aruto get a handful of upgrades to start off with, but kaito and fuwa only have two form changes for the first quarter. extra characters like takatora or jin only have one form to sell in the first arc, so it all feels a lot more smoothly integrated (well. i don’t think urobuchi handled the toys well in gaim but that’s a whole other argument. it didn’t feel like so much sensory overload is my point)

on the flip side, most of the mix and match gimmicks have been used primarily by the main rider only. sento gets a ton of best matches and eiji gets a ton of medal combos, but ryuga and date have their own power sets that differ from all that. their upgrade system is basically kept separate from what the main rider’s doing

saber’s toys are throwing both of those concepts together, and it’s just too much at once, ESPECIALLY with a cast this size. it’s one thing if takeru has a bajillion eyecons to himself while makoto and alain are more lowkey, it’s another thing when your core three riders have multiple swappable items between them, on top of FOUR other riders with their own unique henshin items that have to be established in just twelve episodes. it’s easy to say the writers are floundering here but i can’t see how this combination of gimmicks being frontloaded so early on would feel smooth with anyone at the helm. again, i think things will cool down after this quarter and saber can get into the nitty gritty of what it wants to be beyond what corporate wants out of it, and i hope going forward toei and bandai don’t double down on this setup and go ham every year like this bc im already getting tired

[trensu]

Episode 11: The One where We Learn the Value of Patience (and Hate It)

Hey guys, hey guys, remember how i was complaining last episode bc we didn’t get a significant wangxian scene until a half an hour into the episode??

Yeah

Turns out i spoke too soon

Bc we don’t get a wangxian scene this time until 40min into a 43min episode

But I persevered for you all

And grasped at breadcrumbs along the way

I TRIED REALLY HARD GUYS

Okay, here we go!

We’re at the Unclean Realm hashing out some last minute relevant Plot Stuff

Then we’re at Lotus Pier

I insist that this is the most beautiful of all the places we see in this show

The Yunmeng Sibs have a reunion that just, ugh, pulls at the heartstrings

Don’t think about how they end up, don’t think about how they end up doN’T THINK ABOUT HOW THEY END UP *SOBSOB*

Plot discussion

Yunmeng Bro Moment DON’T THINK ABOUT HOW THEY END UP *CRY*

Plot plot

Hey look it’s lunch time and MADAM YU COMES IN

M-Yu: i have arrived to verbally abuse my children and you can’t stop me

Jiang Fengmian: you’re absolutely right, i cannot stop you at all

M-Yu: yeah, bc YOU’RE A SPINELESS COWARD

Gotta love those awkward family dinners, guys

BUT WE’RE MOVING ON NOW BECAUSE THAT WASN’T WANGXIAN AT ALL, WHAT AM I EVEN DOING

Okay more jiang family dysfunction happens and it’s awkward as hell but then we cut to

Lwj traveling an empty path ALL BY HIS LONESOME BC HE ABANDONED HIS SOULMATE LAST EPISODE, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?

I promise this next part is a little bit wangxian!

Remember what i said about breadcrumbs? This is one of them

(I’M TRYING)

Lwj senses a trap and does a SUPER DRAMATIC TWIRL to avoid the Return of the Evil Chains (i’m starting to think the wens are kinky bastards)

A pause to mention that lwj looks really pretty

Lwj and Wen Zhulio have a super cringey but thankfully brief showdown and then Wen Chao shows up to be a bastard again

Okay, this is the Wangxian Breadcrumb (1 of 3) here:

Lwj is surrounded by evil Wens and Wen Chao wants him to kneel and hand over the Plot Device

Instead!! LWJ sends a talisman flying at them (w/o the Dramatic Twirl, probs bc his Dramatic Twirls are so amazing it would be overkilll to use them on fucking Wen Chao)

The talisman bursts into like, a hundred little firefly sparks that swarm the Wens and he makes his escape

Wen Chao informs us that the talisman is called the Devil Scatter Spell and it was invented by WWX

LWJ USES WWX’S INVENTION TO EVADE CAPTURE

LWJ CARRIES AROUND WWX’S INVENTIONS!!

WWX KEEPS HIM SAFE EVEN WHEN HE’S NOT THERE!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!

We’re back to boring and Emotionally Traumatic Plot Stuff but this time at the Cloud Recesses, just to mix things up a bit!!

And then we switch back to Lotus Pier for equally boring Plot Stuff

Okay i must confess i got stuck here a bit bc the timeline’s kind of funky?

The chain of events seemed off and i started trying to pick it apart

BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I’M NOT HERE FOR THE PLOT AND WAS LIKE, FUCK THAT NOISE BRING ME SOME WANGXIAN PIE

But the show was like how about no, so i had to watch more plot

Oh, but we do get Breadcrumb 2 of 3 here

Wwx: i’ve been sending lwj letters since we left qinghe and he hasn’t responded!!

THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS, WWX HAS BEEN WRITING LETTERS TO HIS SOULMATE!!

And any letter wwx writes to lwj is a LOVE LETTER because he writes to lwj out of LOVE even if the letter happens to be, like, a grocery list or smth

Emotionally Traumatic yet Significant Plot Things Occur

(bye bye cloud recesses, we hardly knew ye)

We do get a scene with bamf!LWJ and his guqin, so that made it slightly less painful

And here we learn to FUCKING HATE SU SHE WHO’S A FUCKING TRAITOROUS, LOOSE-LIPPED COWARD

And here i start YELLING AT LWJ BC HE GOES AND SACRIFICES HIMSELF FOR FUCKING USELESS SU SHE, GOD DAMN IT LWJ STOP BEING SUCH A GOOD PERSON

His leg gets broken here by a Wen Flunkie bc they’re all secretly scared of him at full power and he’s taken away by The Enemy

I swear these last two bullet points are somewhat significant bc they eventually lead to a couple of choice wangxian moments later on in the show

BEAR WITH ME GUYS

We’re back at Lotus Pier for some Yunmeng Bro time

And now we see wwx and jc be sent off to qishan where they’re gonna be hostages i mean visiting disciples

(We’re almost there guys, just wait a little more)

And we’re at Qishan with jc and wwx and this is Wangxian Breadcrumb 3 of 3

Wwx looks around and sees that jzx and nhs are both there with some of their own disciples but right away notices that there’s no GusuLan people to be seen

Wwx: where are the GusuLan disciples? Do you think something is wrong?

Jc doesn’t even bother to pretend wwx is worried about GusuLan when he’s obvs worried about lwj

Jc: wc probs failed to find lwj and lwj is now hiding with the Plot Device

Jc: HE’S PROBABLY TOTALLY SAFE BRO DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT

Wwx: but i feel like something’s wrong!!!

Wwx’s ~soulmate sense~ is tingling

That's the end of Breadcrumb 3 of 3

I’m gonna include one more non-Wangxian thing bc it made me LOL a lot

Some wen flunkie announces wen chao who proceeds to walk down the 20 bajillion steps on that ridiculous staircase as Dramatic Music plays in the background

Then we get a shot of JZX ROLLING HIS EYES SO HARD HIS WHOLE ENTIRE HEAD MOVES WITH IT

JZX IS NOT IMPRESSED

LOLOL

HE’S A HOSTAGE I MEAN VISITING DISCIPLE AND HE’S STILL NOT IMPRESSED BY YOU WEN CHAO BC FUCK YOU WEN CHAO

IT’S HILARIOUS AND I LOVE IT

Oh man

Here we go guys

We made it

HERE’S OUR SLICE OF SWEET SWEET WANGXIAN PIE

HERE IN THE LAST 3-ISH MINUTES OF THE EPISODE

Wen Chao tells his flunkies “Bring him over.”

Guess who “him” is

LWJ!!! it’s lwj

We see wwx turn around in slo-mo to watch his soulmate come down the aisle

LWJ WALKS IN, STANDING TALL, DRESSED IN WHITE, WITH ~INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC~ IN THE BACKGROUND, I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH HOW MAJESTIC HE LOOKS HERE GUYS

BC HE DOES NOT BEND DOWN TO EVIL, FUCK YOU WEN CHAO

AND OH GOD, THE EXPRESSION ON WWX’S FACE AS HE WATCHES HIS SOULMATE. JUST. SHOCK AND AWE. BOY IS STUNNED.

Wwx whispers “lan zhan” as lwj takes his place beside him (WHERE HE BELONGS BC THEY’RE SOULMATES)

But lwj doesn’t acknowledge wwx (further proof that his self-control is at INHUMAN levels bc how?? My eyes are glued to wwx the minute he appears and stay on him til he’s gone. How does lwj do it??)

So ofc wwx whispers his name again, turning to face him and taking a step towards him, even as lwj stays face-forward and continues to ignore him

Jc has to physically pull him back and tell him to back off

Jc: you’ve seen him, you know he’s safe, how about you question him later when we’re, you know, NOT DIRECTLY UNDER WEN CHAO’S EYES??

Wwx: yeah, i know i know

Wwx: *proceeds to completely ignore jc’s sensible advice and turns back to lwj*

Wwx; lan zhan, lan zhan

The only reason he stops saying his name is bc some Wen Flunkie orders the whole lot of them to shut up so wc can monologue

BUT WWX JUST KEEPS LOOKING OVER AT LWJ ALL WORRIEDLY EVERY TWO SECONDS

HIS CUTE LITTLE WORRIED FACE, OMG

Okay not wangxian (i know, i know, i’m sorry) BUT

Wc orders everyone to hand over their swords

And, wonder of wonders, we see lwj do his Death Grip on Bichen for something NOT pertaining to wwx-induced Gay Panic

I’m pointing this out bc it’s a rarity. I’m like, 95% sure we never see this again

And the episode ends on the Death Grip on Bichen scene

WE MADE IT!! WE SURVIVED UNLIKE THE CLOUD RECESSES

The next few episodes will have more wangxian, i promise!

Return to Masterpost

[midnightluck]

so 1) i saw your eliot spencer headcanon post from a bajillion years ago, about his hair: apparently soldiers in delta force are allowed to keep civilian hairstyles bc they don't want them to be immediately identifiable. so a go-to headcanon for eliot's military experience + fab hair. 2) im working on a fic where lindsey and eliot are the same person, would you mind telling your thoughts about how an au like that would work since their personalities are so different? love your headcanons lol

Hello hello come in, have I got some stuff for you.

As for the hair, makes sense; he at least keeps it long enough to tie back, even if he doesn’t always wear it that way. I like this explanation!

There are some great fics for that crossover; the lawyer episode just sets it up perfectly. I mean, Leverage, in general is the most crossoverable show I’ve ever seen, but this one is just classy. I started one myself with them as brothers, based on sympathetic twin magic, but I don’t think I’ll ever actually finish it, haha.

Eliot and Lindsey are not actually all that different, I think. They have the same determinator/absolute-focus type of personality; the difference is their approach. Character Rambling under the cut!

Lindsey relies on his brain first, and he talks first. He knows the power of words, especially in a world that has magic. His weapon of choice is information, and he researches and digs and finds all the dirty little secrets. He’s a lawyer by trade, and he knows how to tear his way through obstacles and get away with it.

Eliot, on the other hand, is physical. He’s by no means the dumb one; he gathers skills and information the way others collect quarters; absently and greedily (see: every time he pulled out a random new skill in canon, or knew things about history/art/fashion/etc). He tries to diffuse situations that involve civilians or innocents, but he fights dirty and hard.

Both of them work both inside and outside the law (courtrooms and magic/government and for-hire), and neither of them shy away from excessive or lethal force. Both know exactly what their goal is at any given time and how to get there, and both are more than capable of removing anything in their way. Eliot is quicker to punch than talk, and Lindsey is more pessimistic than to trust “civilians”, but really, if you take that into account, they’re very similar. Both of them struggle to ask for help, even when they know they need it.

The main difference, I think, is that their stories run reverse of each other. Lindsey starts happy, realises he’s trapped, tries to fight against it, and ends up wandering, losing everything. Eliot starts wandering, with nothing, and he tries to fight it but eventually ties himself down with relationships and becomes happy. Honestly, replace “Damian Moreau” with “Wolfram and Hart” and you can kinds see that progression in Eliot alone.

The main difference in personality is again in Lindsey’s words vs Eliot’s punches, but also remember that Lindsey is used to subterfuge. He has the resources of a massive law firm behind him. He doesn’t need to punch; he can get someone to do that for him. If he somehow escaped his death and was wandering around alone, without that, I imagine he’d have to learn to rely on himself; there’s only so often you can bluff before someone’s gonna call it.

So, yeah, haha, some thoughts. I dunno if that’s clear or helpful, and if there’s anything you want more rambling on, just ask! And hey, when you write yours, drop me a link, yeah? It’s one of my favorite crossovers, and I’d love to read what you do with it! Good luck!

[surveys4ever]

26.

Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celsius)? ...yes. Literally every year. There’s usually a week or two in January when it gets down to -50 to -75 F. 

Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? Maybe when I was a teenager? I’ve definitely been caught in the rain, not sure about a thunderstorm tho.

What’s your favorite macaron flavor? I’ve actually never had a macaron! But I don’t like meringue so I don’t think I’d enjoy them.

How often do you have friends over to your house? Literally never.

Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? YES. The assistant manager at the last job I had was insane. She tried to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to leave town on the weekends in case they needed me. LOL girl bye.

How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? 0, covid.

Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? Noooo.

What about a flip off of a diving board? I’ve never even been on a diving board.

Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos?  I believe in the 10th or 11th grade I hated them but I was on the yearbook committee so I finessed some new ones to put in hehehe.

Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? I believe I learned at school.

Currently how many pictures are on your cellphone? 9,008.

Do you think dimples are cute? Oh hell yeah.

Would you rather chew fruity or minty gum? Minty.

The last time you went to the mall, who did you go with? Beebs!

What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Rocks and lip balm.

Have you watched a movie today? Yes! We went to see Dracula.

Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? We went to an indoor garage sale a couple weeks ago.

Do you love soft pretzels? They’re alright. They smell better than they taste in my opinion.

Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? Does my dog count? Bc she’s just a drama queen and I wouldn’t expect anything less from her.

Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? True love is when you like them a ton before you actually really know them and then like them even more after.

Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? I honestly think cards are a huge waste of money so if I do give one, I made it. But I have a Circuit and I’m pretty creatively inclined so it’s pretty easy.

When was the last time you were being hypocritical? It sounds pompous but I honestly think I'm too self aware to by hypocritical.

Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? My hip, because I was sitting weird.

What is the weirdest name you’ve ever heard? Someone I know named their kid Emanda. Unsure if its pronounced ee-manda or just regular Amanda. Haven’t wanted to ask. Another named their kid Albrea. I just call her Algebra. And another named their kid Annekke, pronounced Anika. She will forever be a-neek-ee to me.

Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? Bold of you to assume I ever let anybody sing.

Are you good at comforting people when they’re upset? I’m the big sister to like a bajillion children. Yes I’m good at it.

Do you have any exercises you do everyday? Newp.

Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? Hahaha I don’t but I literally just saw a Billy Bass at a thrift store yesterday. They were funny then and they’re funny nostalgic now.

Has anyone ever accused you of being bipolar or any other mental disorder? Do you really have any mental disorders? I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder but no one’s accused me of having it because like...it’s pretty obvious? 

Did you buy the last thing you bought with your own money? If not, whose money did you buy it with? Haha yes! We bought movie tickets, a drink, and peanut butter m&ms.

Do you like to put your feet up on the dashboards of cars? Do you parents yell at you if you do that in cars? Our car is too short for that but yeah, my parents always yelled at me for it when I was young.

Which Beatle is your favorite, or do you love them all equally? I wouldn’t say I loved any of them but John Lennon is absolute hot garbage.

Do you enjoy classic rock? If so, who are some of your favorite classic rock artists? Uh...not really?

Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? Yes! They were all the rage in the 6th grade.

Are you more of a dog or cat person?/ Dog, definitely.

Have you ever failed math? I very, VERY narrowly passed the last math course I needed to graduate and I did the math and because of the mark I got on my final, I should have failed by 3% but I got 1% over what I needed to pass. Pretty sure my math teacher just didn’t want to deal with me taking the course over so he passed me BUT my math could have been wrong, haha.

Skittles! What's your favorite color? Lordt. I haven’t purchased skittles in ages. I think I remember red being my favorite?

Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? Yeah, actually.

What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? I would just want my husband to know how much I love him and that I’ll be waiting for him in whatever form of afterlife there is.

Can you sleep with the light on? If I'm dead tired.

What’s the most bizarre horror movie you’ve ever seen? I mean...Dracula is supposed to be a horror movie. The only thing horrific about it was the acting.

What band can’t you stand listening to? I honestly can’t think of one right now.

Would you ever take a lie detector test for your significant other? I mean, if I had to? But we trust each other 100% and I’m brutally honest about everything so he would never require that from me.

What is your favorite Mystery/Crime/FBI related show? Murder, Mystery, & Makeup Mondayssss! Sha na sha sha na sha sha na sha sha sha na shaaaaaaaa!

Would you ever have a bird as a pet? Absolutely not.

How's your relationship between you and your grandparents? I love my mom’s parents to bits. My grandma is one of my absolute favorite people in the world and my grandpa is very quiet but he has a lot of really sweet moments. My dad’s parents are awful fuckin people. My grandfather died like 5 years ago and I really had to try hard to feign sympathy about it to him. My grandmother is still kicking it but we haven’t spoken in over a decade for good reason. She also changed their joint Facebook account to just her Facebook account less than a week after he died loooool. She hated him as much as I did I think. And then my bio dad’s dad is dead but he was also a piece of shit but his mom is a sweetie. We facetime every so often and she holds the phone a grand total of 6 inches away from her face the entire time and tells me the same stories over and over. Bu

Ever had a forbidden love or lover? Newp.

Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No, thank god.

Do you know someone who’s been cremated? My grandma’s dog.

What is your current problem? My eyes are blurry because I’m tired.

Do you like canopy beds? Tbh, canopy beds are the epitome of glamor in my eyes.

What is your favorite animated movie? Onward.

Would you rather live in a small town or a big city? I like medium cities. You won’t get mugged walking down the street, traffic doesn’t absolutely suck, and you can get clear across town in 15 minutes.

If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why? Uh? Why am I in trouble? Why can’t I call a human? What’s happening here?

Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? I tried watching a couple episodes but it didn’t pique my interest.

Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? Noooo. Beebs loves them though so he tries to make me love them and it’s just not happenin, buddy.

Last alcoholic drink you had? No idea tbh.

What are you known for? For being talented and having big hair.

Has anyone ever threatened you? Oh yeah. There was this one guy who was constantly sending me really graphic messages about how he wanted to put a gun to my head and kill me or he hoped I would get XYZ and die. I tried to block him but he would immediately make 3 more accounts to send me the same shit.

Have you ever gone frog hunting? Noooo.

Do you ever suffer from dry skin? Yessss. My body is the Sahara.

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? No, I sleep with a husband.

What’s the weather like right this moment? It’s rainy!

Do you bite on straws, lollipop handles, or ice cream sticks? Nah.

In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? Beeb’s bedroom. His stepfather interrupted and made him come outside to talk to him for some reason and then very weirdly pointed out his half boner? V. uncomfortable all around.

Where is your mother’s side of the family descended from? Somewhere where white people come from idk.

What do you occupy your time with on flights? iPad games usually.

Do you dog-ear pages in books? No, I’m not a heathen.

What’s a made up word of yours? We call pickles ‘pickies’ and hamburgers ‘borgers’ or ‘borgs’ because we’re gross.

Do you use Q-Tips? In my ears? No. To clean out tight spaces of things I've thrifted? Yes.

Ever gone out with somebody you didn’t like? Noooo.

What hero or heroine do you most relate to in history, fiction, or song? ....No.

What makes you dizzy? Getting up too fast usually.

Are your parents liberal or conservative? Bleh, conservative. If you have liberal parents, consider yourself blessed.

Do you like your teeth? Did you have braces? I got away with having just an appliance/Invisaligns but I still don’t like my teeth. They’re perfectly straight and white enough but I have body dysmorphia and for some reason I think they’re atrocious and I hate them??? I can’t explain it.

Are you happy with your height? I’m 5′11 and I wish I was shorter sometimes. Hugging my husband would be easier.

[sol1056]

Do u think the bad writing in VLD has been rife since the 1st episode? Or is this a new devt in S3? I've always thought the writing has always been oversimple since the start. I fucking hated that finger counting bit just about as things were getting serious and that was the pilot. And things always got resolved in like 1 episode. Like hello? They were able to bond and form Voltron in 1 episode? (1/2)

I dont get ppls expectations abt the show which for me has always been unsophisticated and juvenile albeit still entertaining. Maybe its just a case of BNFs headcanons being mistaken for canon by fandom bc of the long periods bw seasons. (2/2)

I feel like this is actually two questions, so I’m going to answer the shorter one (ahaha yes this is a short answer!) here, and get into the measure of writing quality in a separate post. 

When it comes to BNFs, I’ve gotten reasonably good at identifying their personal agendas masquerading as analysis. That said, yes, the long gap definitely gives time for head canons to percolate, and I’m not entirely convinced that this works for this kind of story. (Or alternately, that this crew of EPs/writers realize the extent to which one-season drops radically alter the viewing experience, and how storytelling methods need to adjust.) 

Truth is, I had zero expectations for VLD. I remember the original and let’s just say, I’ve moved on. On the other hand, my exposure to AtLA’s tonal shifts (from serious to ham-fisted comedic in nothing flat) meant I was used to gritting my teeth through tin-eared comedy-attempts like meat thermometers or finger-counting. 

And then there’s issue of unsophisticated or juvenile storytelling.  

I am probably not the only person here who’s been spoiled by Japanese storytelling, since most anime from a decent-enough production house will integrate levity and gravity pretty seamlessly. I think American productions’ humor isn’t an issue of skill, but symptomatic of deeper problems. 

The first, and biggest, is that American animation struggles to be seen (and by extension, seeing itself) as a valid form of storytelling. Animation is treated as a soap bubble (no lasting impact on the popular culture landscape) and cotton candy (inconsequential, mindless consumption). I can almost guarantee you that any writer or VA involved with VLD is probably asked semi-regularly, “when are you going to write/act/work on a real story?’ 

With that dismissal in mind, those radical tonal shifts (from serious to juvenile) can sometimes be a sign that creators are too-aware of this mindset, and too-afraid of being mocked for treating this like it’s a ‘real’ story. So humor is used as a wink at the audience: don’t worry, we’re not getting carried away and thinking we’re doing shakespeare, we totally get this isn’t worth taking seriously. 

[I hate that, by the way. Respect your goddamn story or find another job.] 

When humor is used organically, it works. Lance trying to create a cheer and Keith not getting the point is both awkward and kind of adorable, as a way to characterize how out-of-sync they are. But humor like meat thermometers signal not-taking-this-seriously, and you can tell, and that’s what makes it so jarring. 

And the reason you can tell is because the writers’ contortion is right there in the script. Hell, you can even see it in the way the VAs handle it, too. 

Allura: And it’s a good thing it wasn’t because it took you… Coran? Coran: Seventy-five degrees. Oh, sorry. No, this is a meat thermometer.Allura: However long it was, it was too long.

You could simply remove Coran’s entire line without changing the scene. It’s an aside, with no integration. And if you listen to the VA delivery, there’s a half-beat and the next line carries on as if Coran never said anything. There’s no reaction. It’s literally wasted breath, wasted animation.

To me, that’s a sign the writers were trying to juggle that tension between ‘this is for kids, it means nothing’ and ‘this is a crucial scene to establish stakes’. So they throw in silliness to satisfy the first, but integrating that humor would elevate it out of that wink-to-audience mode. Done right, comedy is as much serious business as drama, and both require seeing the story as more than insubstantial, forgettable cotton candy. 

The most important thing to remember is probably this: even if these writers believe in their story and want to do right by it, they’re still up against a powerful corporate structure that sees cartoons as nothing more than an elaborate way to sell merchandise. To that corporate overlord, a writer’s measure of success – people showing up at writer panels at cons, a vibrant community of fanfic and fanart and fanlore, fan questions on podcasts, basically so many people embracing the story, the characters, the world – means absolutely nothing to the corporate overlords if no one buys the merchandise. 

Let me reiterate that, in bold, so the bottom line is clear:

A stupid story with flat characters and cheap animation that sells a bajillion lunchboxes or gunpla or whatever will always be judged ‘more successful’ by the corporate overlords than any story that doesn’t move merchandise, no matter how well-told or beloved by the fans. 

To a good writer, the story is an end in itself. To the corporate overlords, the story is wrapping paper around the check they get every month: watched once, torn away to get the good stuff, and quickly forgotten. When you combine American popular perception of cartoons with corporate overlord agendas, it’s damn near a miracle we’ve gotten even scraps of any good from VLD, and that’s an entirely separate issue from whether the EPs/writers can create a good story in the first place.

(Meanwhile fandom collects every bit of the wrapping paper, saves it, cuts it up, tapes it back together in a completely new shape, and then gets into flamewars over whose reconstruction was the best.) 

One last note: I am, at the very least, pleased that the VLD casting director chose seasoned VAs with substantial chops. AtLA gave itself extra trouble by choosing VAs for their age rather than skill (oh god that was painful until they leveled up). VLD hasn’t made that mistake; even when the script stays serious, a bad VA can still ruin it with a wink at the audience and undermine a scene’s emotional heft. The VLD VAs have done a fairly good job of not dropping to that level, and in a few places I do think that’s what’s kept me watching even when other elements are substantially under-par. 

[cheezybiouwiou]

a briefing so i don’t have to repeat myself

My parents got divorced when I was one. He ‘went on holiday’ to Switzerland when I was about 6, the only contact I’ve had with him has been like through letters when we’ve tried to change our names in court or something.

I’ve lived in three countries and moved house over 30 times - it sounds weird but there’s always been a good reason.

We were like the famous five kids (my cousins, my sisters and I) for years, but then my aunt’s a little crazy, so long story short we fell out and didn’t see them for like 8 years (side note, saw them this summer and it was weird but nice).

Uncle is batshit crazy and a psychopath, we don’t talk to him. He likes to remind my mum that he could kidnap/murder us every so often which is fun. My grandma has alzheimers (so does my great aunt), and my dad’s side of the family we don’t have contact with. Everyone else just isn’t around or is dead I’m pretty sure (that’s not tragic it’s just old age yk).

Umm, so, mum was determined to send us to private school, so after the divoce although we stayed in private education, she/we sacrificed a lot to get there. We weren’t poor or anything, just life was tight. That at one point led to us moving to Spain for a year (wonderful but crazy experience, I was like 6 at the time and genuinely my heart is in Spain. We have a house there in this tiny village, it’s kinda the only constant I’ve had in my life.

After that we moved back to England and I went to a boarding school (very minimal boarding at first though, so easy). Had an amazing time, yada yada then my mum met my soon-to-be stepfather. Long story short again, he had a bit of money and they got married quick, it seemed great at first but he turned out to be a wackass hoe as well.

A series of unfortunate events involving us moving into my grandma’s to look after her and my batshit uncle threatening to kill our cat and kicking us out of that house led to us moving a bajillion times between holiday rentals for like a year. We then ended up moving to Shanghai, again seems incredible at first until you remember that this is the point at which he started showing his true colours and being super emotionally abusive to my mum. Shanghai also happened to be a really convenient way to isolate a person. Anyways, I got sick of it after a year because the education was shit so ended up going to the UK and going to a super uptight full-time boarding school for the next year.

Went here, homesick as shit and my brain decided it would be a perfect time (when I’m in a super intense academic and conservative environment where the only person I have in the country is my sister) for my ✧・ﾟ:* issues *:・ﾟ✧ to manifest/me to actually understand shit. So yeah, bad year for me. This was also compounded by my mum (yk cut back to China where she’s being emotionally abused and my other sister is having a shit time) having an absolute breakdown. Idk the timing worked out great bc my shit time coencided with hers and she couldn’t cope with that on top of my homesickness and on top of her issues so this, combined with the multiple arguments that I had with her, meant that she told me to stop bothering her and so I did. We didn’t talk for weeks, and now I have ✧・ﾟ:* emotional scars/trust issues and our relationship has never been the same *:・ﾟ✧. 

Anyways, she escaped by some miracle and we ended up back in England all together. This was when we returned to the flexi-boarding school (the one from before China) because it was the only one we could afford to go to. Sooo that place was super negligent and basically all I can say is that they had a really good PR team to stop all those suicide attempts within that school from going public.

Anyways, the first year was iffy, but as I said before, the issues that were becoming more apparently at the last school were kinda becoming more and more apparent (I now know it’s anxiety, depression, and then a possible spicy element of ADHD that we haven’t even got to yet). There was also another issue in that I’m bisexual and I was figuring that whole thing out (this is a side note but I’m probably non-binary but that’s a whole other issue that I’m confused/in denial about), but that led to me becoming friends with basically just the queer kids in my year because all my friends stopped talking to me. At this point I started almost full-boarding again.

Then I started dating one of my friends (Draco, AFAB but confused about their gender identity). Started off sweet, but long story short we dated for a year and a half and I’ve never been more broken (tried to kermit the frogicide 3 times hehe they barely counted as attempts yeet). Uhh there’s a lot to unpack with this one but I’ll try to simplify:

They had abusive parents (physically and emotionally)

They had bipolar

They also were raped by their dad multiple times

They were super manipulative. I wasn’t allowed to be happy about anything because it made them feel bad. 

I wasn’t allowed to feel confident in my body because they had severe body issues. I ended up developing an eating disorder (all I ate was tea, toast after midnight and like milk and digestives).

I started self-harming.

My relationship with my sisters and mum was atrocious. It was definitely a huge part my fault, but not entirely.

As a group we were definitely very toxic. But yeah, on top of all this their best friend committed suicide, and they’d been in emotionally abusive relationships. This led to them being super suicidal. There was I think from November to February where every time they left school to go home, they’d literally try to kill themself. And I’d be stuck while they’re messaging me the whole time saying like “sorry you’re not enough to save me”. Every night. For months I was spending my whole life literally just trying to keep them alive.

Idk if I blame them, because it was definitely their trauma that made them act like it, but some of the stuff they did was manipulative and shit. Lying to me a lot, promising they’re telling the truth when actually lying. Constantly pushing me away, and then being mad when I couldn’t talk to them because they blocked me. Telling lies to my friends to get them to stop talking to me and then stopping me from telling my friends the truth (I wouldn’t tell them just because Draco made it seem like it would hurt Draco, and I was terrified of doing that). That sorta stuff.

I became a therapist for a lot of kids in my year, and so all that pressure of keeping like 20 kids from committing not-alive, on top of my issues just wasn’t a good look for me.

This led to as I said, the eating disorder, and also heavvyyyy dissociation. It also led to alcoholism which was just an unexpected turn. I just didn’t realise how bad all of these problems were at the time. Not a good time, a lot of loneliness, skipping lessons, that sorta thing.

Anyways, mum managed to get me out of the school (after a breakdown and an ambulance having to be called to the school because I drank too much). I did my GCSEs from home by some miracle, and she moved me to the local sixth form. I broke up with the person, and then had a few months over the summer that were life changing.

I moved to a new sixth-form, and it’s been rocky and uphill and super hard but I worked my ass off and I’m in so much better of a place than I was. It was rough at the start, but basically I had a pathetic amount of CBT therapy from the NHS, and the only good thing it did for me was to let me know that 1) I hate CBT, and 2) I already managed to teach myself a lot of the coping skills in the last year.

Then corona rolled around, and my anxiety went through the roof again, depressive episodes came and went and I’m still getting no help. But yeah, it basically made me realise that sure I’ve come a long way but I’m barely holding it together. It most CERTAINLY isn’t helped by the astronomical stress levels I’m getting from my A-levels and just generally existing at the moment is hard. I’m also low-key lonely because people kind of suck (I lost almost all my friends from my old school, don’t get me wrong that was for good reason, but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t suck. But yeah, I also got into a group of people at the start that were kinda shitty and so now it can be kinda lonely because it’s hard to make new friends).

My relationship with my mum has improved but it’s rocky as fuck. She’s very childish and I’m pretty sure hit the jackpot for trauma in every capacity but just pretends that sHe’S fiNe. While I’m writing this, she’s been incredible. Genuinely incredible. But also she can be one of the biggest problems in making me want to cease existing. She can be extremely manipulating and invalidating of my emotions, and generally make me feel like I’m going insane because she knows that I have no power over my life. She’s admitted it’s because she has to be in control of everything, but admitting it doesn’t mean it’s not toxic. It’s one of the hardest things in my life when it gets bad.

So yeah, I think that’s most of it!

Also side note, I may have attachment issues from the constant moving schools/houses/issues with my mum/dad leaving/crazy stepdad/i completely forgot to mention my step-brother who nearly got institutionalised in china because of schizophrenia that i didn’t see after that/constant changing schools.

Also second side note, only figure out recently and I’m probably completely wrong and I can’t remember it properly because I was so young but a kid a few years older than me might have touched me up when I was younger. It wasn’t anything serious, it just made me uncomfortable when I realise. I don’t know if I want to talk about it though because there’s a part of me that wonders if I just invented this trauma to make me feel special or some shit and YES I’m aware that’s the dumbest shit to ever think but oh well. Edit: also I feel like I have no friends/they're constantly changing. Also, childhood Moreton bullying.

[captainshyguy]

ok so i saw the new su eps and uhhh here’s my thoughts 

under a read more bc whilst i did like some bits i uhhh....didn’t like most of it and i dont rly wanna spam peeps with negativity 

the good 

stevonnie with stubble??? iconic 

for a second i thought yellow diamond had a new colour palette that included brown and it was actually p cool lmao 

pink diamond’s design like?? colour wise is really nice (is she like....small though??? i cant tell??) though i thought she had spiky hair and shoulder pads??? maybe she was poofed in the past idk 

it was nice seeing the off colours again 

that picture of yellow pearl that was kinda a selfie and had yellow in the background FGKASJGNSAKGJSDG 

the jungle planet was pretty 

a lot of people didn’t like lars acting pissy about sadie but uhhh....at least it was somewhat in character like this dude is fucknig stranded in space ofc he’s gonna be a bit unstable and get upset over something small like that and thinknig his friend doesnt miss him 

the bad 

hoo boy where do i start 

i genuinely hated how lars was somehow inexplicably okay with everything that’s currently happening like if he’s repressing then like??? okay but still it’s been what??? a month and he’s suddenly an adept captain and pilot, he’s literally a teenager and yet he’s the captain among a group of gems who are THOUDSANDS OF YEARS OLD 

what we SHOULD have seen was him being like a parallel to steven at the start, the others should have been in control and protecting him, (liek the crystal gems!!!) and he’s there, a lil fragile, not exactly, oaky, but he’s being protected, he’s getting by, and the off colours love him! 

if they wanted to go this route, they should have....idk actually shown us him changing and developing like this, instead of having his character ‘development’ be offscreen bc it was so genuinely jarring to me and i hated it (like i really started identifying with/liking lars during the last homeworld arc when he and steven were captured, i thought that was a great direction for his character to go in like, not quite okay but getting there and maturing??? but having him be weirdly hammy and suddenly super duper okay pissed me off lmao)

listen the pacing for steven universe episodes has been off for a long time but it was super obvious here, like??? we just kept jumping from thing to thing, it felt so clunky, and they also didn’t tell us how long stevonnie was on that jungle planet for???? 

why did stevonnie literally murder that creature instantly, like i get self defense, but it attacked ONCE this is steven and connie??? it would have been more in character for them to try and struggle and get away first, then if they needed to kill it, then idk have them apologise and close their eyes and do it?? 

also su has just been going down in quality ever since the crystal gems got demoted from capable fighters who we get to see do cool fighting stuff and being like...idk actual protectors and guardians towards steven, and idk...actually trying, to just barely there parental figures 

SPEAKING OF WHY DIDN’T THE CGS GO WITH CONNIE AND STEVEN THEY JUST GOT STEVEN BACK FROM SPACE??? THEY WOULDN’T JUST LET HIM GO AGAIN WITH JUST CONNIE IM??

what was the actual point in emerald besides being ridiculous, i miss when gems were kinda threatening lmao like GOD do you remember when we first met jasper and peridot??? that was THRILLING (like the only ones that feel threatening anymore are blue and yellow)

why does steven have like a bajillion powers???? listen i get the ability to go into people’s minds/dreams if they’re ACTUALLY ALIVE and nearby, i have a gem oc of my own that has dream manipulation but how the FUCK did he access one of pink diamonds memories when she’s shattered (or possibly bubbled considering some of the other evidence) is it bc he’s half human?? does that somehow give him more power/versatility??? 

ok this is less about the episode but whilst im on the topic of steven and his powers, why is rose’s shield this all powerful thing??? we’ve seen how many rose quartz’s there are (or were lmao) and idk if a weapon is completely unique to that gem or if among thousands of rose quartz’s a few others will have that same shield but like?? what made rose so powerful??? how could her shield protect the others from corruption, like why is her weapon SO ABOVE that of almost every other gem, like surely if homeworld wanted to corrupt the gems, especially rose quartz for starting all this, they’d....idk actually make a weapon that can bypass her shield lmao 

idk i just????? the show’s been going downhill for me, i really think if they had 22 minute long episodes instead of 11 minute ones, they’d actually be able to answer questions and write consistently/cohesively instead of the rushed clunky, mess we have at the minute that creates more questions than it answers idk man the writing feels inconsistent and bad and im kidna tired of it??? honestly if su doesnt pick up, when it eventually ends, im just gonna rewrite the canon in my head lmao bc at this rate, it doesnt feel like they’ll ever actually??? stop blue and yellow diamond, we haven’t seen white diamond at all yet, they haven’t liberated any of the other gem planets (honestly we dont necessarily need to see that, but like....that’s something we kinda need to have at least mentioned bc like..what even is the goal of this series???? are they gonna take down homeworld or uhh???? bc of not then we’re really just back at square one??) they didn’t even free the people from the human zoo??? they’re not really doing anything to advance the plot 

i get that su is supposed to be quite lighthearted but like, they arent really handling it well, like you can do a lighthearted series/piece of media meant for kids and STILL give it an interesting story/plot that can be kinda serious (see voltron, gravity falls, super paper mario) without making it too dark or doing the opposite and trivializing the plot and making it underwhelming??? and that’s what they’re doing lmao, it feels so underwhelming and stagnant at this point bah 

im still watching to the end but again...i’ll probs end up making my own canon 

[foxstens]

out of the 658 shows i want to watch, about 400 are some sort of slice of life/school/family friendly stuff