#bc thats what y'all dumbasses keep saying

[nururu]

genuinely if you're one of those ppl who's like "I wish Zoro smiled and laughed post timeskip :(" block me bc you're not watching the show and y'all are dumb asf for continuing to say this when it's 10000% completely a lie. you want him to be emo and angsty so fucking bad it's embarrassing. like 90% of the ppl who watch one piece are so used to mid writing and mid anime that depends on tropes and your brains are mush to the point you literally cannot comprehend anything if it's not blended up and made into easily digestible baby food for you.

[lostandbackagain]

other people don't make playlists for me and that's how it's meant to be I fully understand that but I am still irrationally irked when I try to find playlists from books/series and they're all 47000 different genres. I can't listen to that!!

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

u can never have too many au ideas (aka the cursed-sun/moon au)

(im copy n pasting this from discord bc im lazy sorry y'all fsjhf)

other au idea: Sun is a ruler or lord in a fantasy world or smthn and Moon is the form he's been Cursed into turning into each night. Reader is a low-tier magic-weilder (who has a secret past that involves smthn rlly Bad and they used to have a reasonable amount of respectability in th community but now theyre shunned and cant get a job anywhere and also has a big scar and/or only one eye lol) who's one remaining ability is the ability to lift minor curses or plagues. Sun has been searching for someone who can 'bless' the curse of Moon (or whatever is making Moon be nasty murderous bloodthirsty man) for ages but mages r rare and most of them spend maybe one night trying to cure Moon before either getting got or being scared into getting tf outta there

so eventually word reaches Sun of a mage who's been looking for work, with the only catch being that they arent very powerful and no one has much to say abt them, and Sun, who has burnt every single thread he has trying to find a mage, is like GOOD ENOUGH CALL THEM HERE

and reader is like 'oh shit this is potentially a rlly good job, the only catch is that i have to deal w a demon possessed guy thats like twice my height and three times as strong,,' and like. bc they have Zero Options and also feel like their life has run itself into th ground and there is little left for them/no way to get themselves out of their Issues, they r like 'yeah sure its gonna take a while bc i can only perform minor magic but i'll do whatever i can to see that this curse is delt with'

and instead of trying to face Moon head on, they start with just kinda,, getting to know him. he's kept chained/locked away in a chamber every night to keep ppl safe, but every night reader goes into the chambers, sits at a tea table just out of his reach, and just. talks with him

they dont entertain his trying to mess w them, taunting, cruelty, etc, but they talk when there's the chance for standard conversation. at first it's hell bc Moon is a little shit and he never cooperates. he never answers questions, he spends the entire night threatening to tear them apart and savor their insides, etc. they bring him a cup of tea every night, and every time he smashes the cup and throws the pieces at them

ok well point is eventually Moon starts to mellow out around them, will actually sit and have conversation with them, one day is like 'you think i dont know what youre doing?? youre just trying to bore me into falling for ur trap so u can kill me. i like ur style but its not gonna work >:3'

and reader is like 'i literally do not have enough magic to kill a toad let alone a whole entire possessed person' and moon is like ',, huh. so what IS ur goal here??' and reader is like 'i want to lift ur curse for both u and Sun's sakes. i gave u my word, and i will follow through, at the very least to clear my own conscience of a past sin'

and so eventually Moon, out of curiosity, and later bc he likes spending time with reader, starts letting them cast the healing magic on him, breaking the curse little by little every night

and at the same time all this is happening, reader is spending mornings and evenings with Sun and keeping him up to date on how the process is going and, eventually, becoming the person he turns to when he's stressed or tired or rlly just wants company

and idk smthn smthn eventually both of them rlly want Reader and they dont know how to act so they just b making fools of themselves but reader is a dumbass so theyre just confused

(Moon absolutely tells Reader abt every 'oh man i rlly wanna kiss kiss snuggle smooch the mage rn' thought Sun has during the day but Reader is so used to Moon being a little shit n making shit up to mess with them that they r just like ._. )

the plot twist part,,

(the secret dark past that reader is hiding is that they used to be a local mage for a nearby town who was known and respected for giving 'blessings' to ppl for small fees but one day for Reasons, they cast a curse upon someone and one of the biggest no-no's a mage can do is Curse someone so the town practically rioted, tore them down from their pedestal, called upon another mage to strip reader of their magic, and then cast them out)

(rn im considering the idea that the person reader Cursed is Vanny, who, because of her own curse, eventually went on to be the one who cursed Sun and Moon)

[slutshamethesquirrels]

the f.a.q 2.0

hey hey hey

so in an effort to make my blog more aesthetically pleasing to the eye, this is the faq, new & improved!! now, lets get down to business~

q: can i request a fic?

a: YES!!! absolutely we are now blood brothers. hit my ask box PLEASE! there's a read before you request post, accessible through my masterpost pinned to the top of my profile!

q: can you read my fic?

a: yes, however please do know i am the most judgemental prick when it comes to writing. i dont even like my own. 99% of the time, it is radio silence from me because,, again,, let me repeat: i am. what the ladies like to call. a prick.

q: can you critique my writing?

a: i'll answer your question with a question: would you like to sit on my face? bc thats where this is going. yes, yes, 1000000% YES dude please!!

q: why didnt you respond to my dm's? :(

a: could be several things. 1) you're a minor or ageless blog, 2) i have been busy asf, 3) i am a dumbass and opened it and then just didn't follow through bc goldfish brain, 4) i've entered some sort of anxiety driven hermit state in which nothing can help me except being alone for 5-10 business days. im so serious i really do this.

q: can you please please please update (insert fic name here)?

a: nothing pisses me off more than this. no. ill get there when i get there. leave me alone.

q: can we be moots?

a: 99% of the time, yeah! as long as your blog is primarily jjk content we're typically gucc.

q: why did you block me?

a: variety of reasons, im real liberal with the block button. most likely, i had a sneaking suspicion you aren't as old as you say you are. other than that i probably found your content offensive/annoying/disturbing. its rare for me to actually throw a hissy fit unperturbed, so if you posted something that made me uncomfy i probably just blocked, took a shot of bleach and went on about my life in silence like the "g" in lasagna.

q: can i provide critique on your writing?

a: yes queen/king/colonel my asks are open with anon and media enabled. i am not scared, and as long as you're courteous and professional i love to hear it!! however, i am known to clapback twice as hard if you're a dick so, fair warning

q: do you do tag lists?

a: no, sorry. it's just a lot to keep up with. i recommend following me on ao3 and turning on email notifs!

q: can i repost/translate/modify your works?

a: no, i have a knife and i am omw to your living quarters.

q: i have a question that isn't answered here!

a: asks are wide open and i love to yap!! hit me up! :)

Other good things to know:

this blog is pro-palestine, anti-genocide, and anti-war. no exceptions.

this blog is not spoiler-free. i tag all manga spoiler posts accordingly. block the tag and don't cry to me.

this blog is not appropriate for minors.

this blog does not support any serious threats or attempts to undermine gege akutami. fuck right off with that.

this blog is not for pro-shippers.

this blog will not write aged-up characters in a nsfw context. its just not comfy for me, y'all do you though.

[scared-suna]

ok so imma do a kagehina hc bc um i'm bored??

ok i think this will be a bit long so

teehee

eeHE

so it's like hinatas birthday or whatever right?

and of course this little tangerine forgot about his own birthday

but kageyama remembers

good boyfriend amirite

LMAAO ANYWAYS

i have this headcannon that kageyama is like

really good at baking and cooking in general but his appearance just makes him look like a dumb bit-

aNYWAYS

hinata is out with suga and daichi bc he is babie 🥺🥺

and then kageyama is at his house decorating and cooking and all that

like this baby blueberry is working so hard give him a round of applause pls

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

he has all the ingredients for hinatas favorite cake

it's like this vanilla cake with this buttercream frosting with fruit toppings and it's so cute like 🥺🥺🥰

definition of babie istfg

so this guy is working hard and like the cake is ready

well

not like ready ready but ready to be frosted and decorated

and then kageyama has to cook a bunch more food bc hinata has a big appetite

but somehow he never grows taller

i can also see kageyama mocking hinata for it but we save that for later ok

so anyways back to the topic at hand

kageyama is finally putting blueberries in the cake

oh wait

he has no blueberries

-

-.....

-....

-...

this bitch forgot to buy blueberries

these two are so forgetful and dumb but we love them for it

but kageyama has no blueberries

and thats hinatas favorite part

so kageyama has to go get some from the store

BUT LITTLE DOES HE KNOW THAT HINATA IS THERE WITH SUGA AND DAICHI

y'all remember that 🤡🤡

if so then congrats you're not as much as a dumbass as kagehina

so he goes to the store and wow

he sees hinata suga and daichi

thankfully hinata didn't see him

but daisuga did

suga literally went "LEAVE CHILD" and daichi was distracting hinata by showing him the types of milk there were

like yk the 2% milk and shit?

yea he was showing him those

and hinata was actually interested??

so kageyama scurried outta there with his blueberries safely so that's good

he goes back to hinatas house and continues baking

by then the rest were out and about trying to distract hinata from going home

yk the usual of seeing who could keep hinatas attention for longer

oh and what a surprise it's not the miya twins and literally everyone else from like every other school karasuno has played is with him

the hinata harem

yes he definitely has a harem

kageyama is grateful for it to

EVEN OIKAWA USHIJIMA AND SAKUSA CAME

IF THAT DOESNT SAY SMTH THEN IDK WHAT DOES

by then it's like 7 and everything is ready

kageyama has everything in place and there's even a movie ready

this boy knows what he's doing

and hinata comes home and the lights are off

he turns them on and

-BAM BAM

kageyama is there with the cake in hand and there's a banner saying "happy birthday"

hinata starts crying bc he didn't expect this

especially from kageyama

the rest of the night is just the two eating and cuddling and going on a stranger things binge

these two are precious

protect them

[moschicane]

[image description:

vivain’t (@janeynewton):

ok... yall... consider... juno nd duck going to the drive-in in high school... and afterwards stargazing.... and like in that moment duck finally realizes the extent of his feelings and theyre like drinking soda and popcorn.... what im leading up to is duck realizes hes in love with his best friend and spills an entire bucket of popcorn on himself

jennifero77 (me):

cLUTCHES CHEST "hey duck you alright" she asks, not really looking at him, and, while frantically trying to clean up the popcorn, he fumbles out, "who's duck"

vivain't: play it dumb... NOT THAT DUMB juno's teasin him and he is so glad it's dark out bc his face is on Fire

jennifero77: god they're so fucking CUTE..... they're walking home and she pulls him over to a thrift store to look at the weird stuff in the window... and she's like wow this shit's wack isn't it? and he's too flustered bc she's!!! holding!!! his!!! hand!!! to respond

vivain't: YEAH GOOD SHIT duck, still staring at juno and their interlocked hands, voice soft: i think weird's sorta mean... its uh.. kinda cute juno, unaware: duck it's a lamp shaped like a fuckin human foot

jennifero77: the ROMANCE OF IT ALL..................................................... juno voice: maybe i should drive

vivain't:

duck voice: so do u wanna go to prom juno voice: sure duck voice: and i KNOW we ditch every school dance but i was just thinkin this is like our last one and juno voice: duck i already said yes duck voice: and i was just THINKIN about how sick id look in a tux and-- juno voice: i wanna go to prom with u, nerdass duck voice: SWEET

choyniel (@me-choy-me-noy):

Duck and Juno are those dumbass kids that probably hit each other with sticks and then come back covered in bruises and scratches

vivain't: oh for SURE

jennifero77: duck voice: juno hit me with a tree branch but i rubbed a dead bird on her arm so now we're even

jenno divine (@jennifero77): jesus christ

choyniel: Duck voice: i told Juno her hair looked ‘ok’ and she pushed me into the river but i grabbed splashed water on her so were even kinda

jenno divine: duck: i rubbed a dead bird on her arm and she divorced me so we're even kinda

jennifero77 juno's mom: so. what happened. 5yo juno, arms linked with duck, covered in green paint and mud and god knows what else: do you really, really want to know

vivain't hey.. ok.... angst time y'all ever consider how duck has to keep being the chosen one secret from juno and that, they probably never kept secrets from each other? other than pining? and like,, how much it tears duck up he cant just tell juno everything

choyniel OTHER THAN PINING hey fuck you keep going

vivain't juno realizes that ducks keeping something from her, because, well, of course she does this is juno, who knows how ducks feeling from the inflection of the way he says hello juno, who hes called, crying, over the dumbest things and the most important things. juno, who doesnt keep anything from duck. other than, well. something thats scarier than every horror movie theyve watched together-- her own feelings and just after ducks birthday, he becomes more distant, and then more clingy, and then more distant and juno cant figure out why and it's so frustrating and she asks whats wrong, something theyre well past. they just tell each other. no asking needed. and duck looks at her and he just goes "i wish i could tell u" and it breaks both of their hearts. bc this changes things. there are things they keep from each other, after that. little things. but they add up, of course and theyre still duck and juno. they cant imagine never not being duck and juno. but now its duck, and ducks secrets, and junos new job, and juno. until things gradually start to push them apart, just a little bit. anyways! : )

end id]

join the junoduck discord i’m begging you

[charlyoddsox27]

its 6am, i havent slept, im bored, so im posting a list of the mercs in order of whom i like the most and reasons why, because thats something i should do i guess?

here goes

(spoilers for the comics down below but either way i think im the only person on earth who has never read them before now)

~~~

~~1. Medic~~

reasons for being my favourite:

• fucking. look. at. him. 👌

• 'mad german doctor' is one of my favourite tropes and he is a pretty bang-on satirical depiction of it

• cute-ass german accent

• he has pet pidgeons hE LOVES HIS PIDGEON PALS THEY KEEP HIM COMPANY

• healers are the most respectable class imo and since Medic pretty much started it he's automatically the best, thats how it works right?

• he sold some random persons soul to satan in exchange for a ***ballpoint pen*** and can i just say, fucking mood??? (he is literally the "i'd sell you to satan for one cornchip" meme)

• "yes, Archimedes...I couldn't agree more." *shudders* b oi .. .

• so many more reasons to love this gross old doctor so little room in Tumblrs posts.

~~2. Spy~~

reasons for being my second favourite:

• cranky, done with everyones shit, just wants to be left alone, fucking mood

• he's a spy i mean c'mon. look at the swanky-ass suit, look at the class radiating from this asshole.

• he may be a dick but he has a soft side he's just too jaded to show it most of the time (see: Scouts death in the comics?? real tears. honestly wish they'd panned that out more.)

• masks are hot tbFH--

• he enjoys a nice glass of whisky by the fireplace and so do i (fun fact: france is the biggest importer of scottish whisky in the world so its a nice touch)

• shapeshifting is fucking cool are you serious like he can just. do that. what a legend

• "i have a cyanide pill in one of my molars, if i break it then spit some in your mouth before i die, we can avoid being tortured." *'heavy' bursts in to save them* "PFFTHBTHF--"

• "SEDUCE ME."

• arrogant frenchman is one of my other favourite tropes and this is the most arrogant frenchman ive ever seen

• he's the only fully sane Merc, maybe apart from Engie.

• people love to hate him bc he's an asshole but...come on. after working with all those other weirdos for years, you'd be pretty jaded too.

• as a gross shipper, he's the easiest and the most fun (imo) to ship with Medic (rip me)

~~3. Pyro~~

reasons for being my third favourite:

• would have tied with Soldier if it werent for that one picture of them in the comics holding a puppy over their head with the most adoring expression on their mask??? good Pyro. goodest Pyro.

• doesn't do much in the comics but makes up for it in pure charm. look at that soulless face and tell me you dont love it.

• ambiguous gender ambiguous gender amBIGUOUS GENDER AMBIGUOUS GENDER. she/he/they? trans? nb? whatever you headcanon, it'll never be confirmed so its literally up to your own imagination. fucking ace, Valve 👌👌👌

• likes to burn things. god damnit. they like to burn things, guys. but they enjoy it so much, you just cant hate them, you can only feel a sympathetic joy that this precious lunatic is having fun in their own little world.

• canonically mentally ill (schizoprenia? it could be hallucinogenic drugs but i like to think its schizophrenia.)

• pretty sure they burned a pair of pedophiles in the comics. at least i think thats what those panels were insinuating. "lets open an orphanage and have an endless supply of kids to--" sounds pretty red-flaggy to me tbh. plus they were the villains so, eh?

• bludgeoned a bear to death until its skull was pulp because it insulted their special interest. you go, Pyro.

• for a few bits in the comics they have a really cute family dynamic going on with other Mercs, Soldier for example."Miss Pauling, Pyros on my side of the car." "Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand." fuckin' cuties.

• when they start putting on like 50 shirts to keep warm in the Russian mountains. chubby.

• a gas mask that can function as both badass, and completely adorable.

• just. everything about them. how could you not love them. they're not in the wrong, you are. stay away from my misunderstood child and let them burn things god damnit.

~~4. Soldier~~

look I'm sorry, I love Soldier and he was gonna be tied with Pyro but that fucking puppy drawing sold me.

• absolute gold every second he speaks. he could sneeze and i'll laugh.

• such a dumbass you cant get annoyed at him for it. like. just agree with him and move on. no point reasoning with a boulder. "haha! silly Miss Pauling, thinking theres different types of blood." Medic: "haha yes! indeed, silly."

• HUTTAH *NECK SNAP*

• i'm not American and even i can see how blatantly his character mocks stereotypical Patriotic Americans™. but its so dumb and laughable, its adorable.

• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ZHANNA IS A BLESSING. EVERYTHING.

• the first "meet the Mercs" video i ever saw was "meet the Soldier" so he holds a special place in my heart

• (preaches about experiencing the horrors of war; has never actually been to war. shh dont tell anyone though--) *neck gets snapped*

~~5. Demoman~~

• I'm Scottish. even though his accent is absolute garbage (no offense to the VA), any representation is very nice.

• Black AND Scottish?? i mean has a character like that even existed before TF2??? amazing example of representation right there. there are barely even any black people in Scotland, how did this happen. I love it. more of this, please.

• he's a drunk guy who blows shit up for shits and giggles and god I wish I could too, sounds like a miracle stress-reliever.

• his sassy black scottish mother. combining the stereotypical black mother with the stereotypical scottish mother is literally the best thing that ever happened.

• the bit in the comic where Medic explains that Demo can't remember what happened to his eye bc he scooped out part of his brain, and the look on Demo's face. just. the look.

• again, he's scottish, he's stereotypical, and he's awesome.

~~6. Sniper~~

• underrated

• piss jars. piss jars everywhere.

• "no dad, im not a crazed murdering lunatic, I'm an assassin. ...well one's a job and the other's mental sickness!!"

• "meet the Sniper" has kickass music

• ruffled gross old man who isn't actually old, he's just seen some SHIT

• actually given development in the comics + some really good scenes with Spy.

• so suave...so...handsome. handsome ruffled bushman. me like.

• he dies first in the comics but gets brought back and gets a cool-ass scar. and then he's just walking around naked everywhere for the rest of the comic. Medic, where the fuck did you put his clothes.

• isn't actually Australian. thats like one of the biggest twists in the comic. "no wonder i was never inhumanly strong and my chest hair didn't grow into the shape of Australia!!" Classic.

• says "bugger" a lot and i love that word

• he needs a hug, let me hug him. and give him a bath.

~~7. Heavy~~

I'm gonna be crucified for putting the big lad so low but i promise i dont dislike any of the Mercs. he'd be higher up but...ive never really liked big huge tank-men tbh :/

• loveable as fuck

• will murder you if you bully his puny little Medic

• i looove Russian accents omfg

• he like big gun. i can respect that.

• when Medic was killed and he went APESHIT on Classic!Heavy and I lost my fuckin' mind over that shit

• he probably has a soft spot for small cute animals. i love imagining him being swarmed by Medics flock of doves and petting them like "good bird...so many good bird..."

• actually smarter than people give him credit for???

• i really really wish his character was a lil more fleshed out but. that's just me. i love him but he doesn't have the same appeal to me as Medic or Spy.

• his entire relationship with Medic...ugh. yes. best friends and/or boyfriends. all good to me 👌

• he named his gun Sasha and that's adorable

~~8. Engineer~~

• gOD, FUCK, I REALLY WISH HE DID MORE IN THE COMICS. i barely know anything about his character. i like him a lot but...god, he...he doesn't...do.....anything.......

• he built a cool robot arm for himself and AI turrets and teleporter machines and guns that fire magic healing powers and immortality machines, in the 1960s. what. some kind of wizard fuckery is this.

• smoothest voice in the west

• "y'all"

~~9. Scout~~

oh god i really am gonna be crucified. i dont hate him i just. like him the least.

• shitboy

• reminds me of a shitty ex but also kinda relateable in a way

• some genuinely funny bits in the shorts.

• gross horny hetero teen boy with a god complex and serious daddy issues. also, he can't read. the "sex bom" tattoo on his chest will be an eternal testament to that. nice job, Spy. you raised him good.

~~~

hoo boy there we go theres all the boys, all the beautiful boys (and Scout) in order of how much i love them. if i made any errors in my info about the canon, feel free to send me death threats 💙 (no seriously tell me though, being a newbie is embarrassing)

so uh. yeah. that took two hours to write. its now 8am. im still bored lol. bye i guess.

[huntypastellance]

hi its me @keithkog on twitter and since you so conveniently forget to mention all the times i’ve apologized and when i deleted the video or any of my explanation, let me tell you about it. there was no excuse for me to post videos without the parent’s consent. that i agree with. it was stupid and wrong, and i genuinely regret that. once i realized my mistake, i deleted the videos. there is NO EXCUSE FOR THAT. but the “sexual assault” thing was unprompted. i never talked about that with her (1/)

and i also never said anything about it. obviously she doesn’t know what that means, since as an anti i still dont think “sexual assault” is a correct term for sheith, its more statutory rape if you’re going to put it into that category w the age of consent. but of course she wouldn’t understand that, and i only laughed in the video bc i was taken aback by her knowledge of that word. regardless, i didn’t press the issue further because you’re right, i have no right to talk about that with a (2/)

a child im babysitting. so i just left it at that. look, i understand if you’re upset by it because you’re a shaladin but you’re making me seem like some huge monster. voltron is literally made for kids their age, and the term “force” was a joke. we’ve watched it together before, and they only protested bc they’re stubborn but they actually rlly enjoyed it after i showed them more. the point i was making about them being mature was in response to someone saying “she’s only 9 she shouldn’t be(3/)

watching voltron” which i disagreed with because both of the girls are mature for their age and can understand it. the only reason they thought it was confusing was bc when we watched episode 1 we were making cookies and they werent paying attention the whole time. i would appreciate if you would take down your posts or at least remove some things because in no way did i force them to talk about sex or bring it up in the first place. thank you.

ps, you have no proof that i fed anyone lines about sexual assault and i promise you i DID NOT. the kid’s parents let them watch a lot of older shows and they have older sibblings and thats how they know about it im guessing. i was surprised to but please don’t accuse me of feeding them lines about sexual assault because thats absolutely disgusting and you have no proof of that

do you exist purely to ignore people’s apologies? Bc my friend the one y'all keep talking about from Twitter, yeah she’s apologized multiple times so could y'all maybe just leave her alone? Bc she had literally 0 intentions for what happened to happen and the fact you all ignore her constant apologies here y'all are being petty and I’m honestly sick of it. Grow the FUCK up y'all she’s a minor too CHRIST. You think it’s ok to harass a minor? Bc if so y'all are even worse than my abuser lmao :/ 

Okay, I’m going to answer this seriously & without the whole “We, the Great & Glorious Lord Pastel Lance” schtick even though I don’t think you actually deserve it. I’m just trying to prove my point here.

> If you were so shocked that a 9 year old said the phrase “sexual assault”, why did you POST IT ONLINE AS A VIDEO TWEET?

>Oh boohoo, you took it down. What, do you want a gold star for that? Well newsflash asshole, if you had bothered to read through my post, you’d know that someone archived your entire tweet thread before you took down the videos. So now there are PERMANENT screenshots of the kids’ faces that were put online WITHOUT PARENTAL PERMISSION because of YOU, you illiterate jackass.

> Why would you EVER laugh at a child, who you’ve claimed to know & babysat for YEARS, having ANY knowledge of what sexual assault is?

> Nice try deflecting dumbass, I’m a Klance shipper AND a Sheith shipper, not just some gross shallie.

> Again, you don’t MAKE kids like the stuff you like. My brothers don’t like Ben 10 after the first 5 minutes of showing them it, (& without me trying to convince them by telling them that gets “really good” later & spoiling shit for them), so I switch the channel to Paw Patrol or search up a Youtube about Minecraft for them instead. I don’t MAKE them continue to marathon Ben 10 with me. You are a shit babysitter.

> Why do you keep suddenly being surprised when people get mad at your own freaking words when you are the one leaving out information & context? 

> It’s still really creepy that you keep saying that the kids are “mature for their age”. That’s literally fucking pedo logic right there, I don’t care about the fucking context, that’s a skeevy thing to say about kids.

> Seriously, what the fuck is stopping you from using the phrase “they’re old enough to watch Voltron, see the TV rating for it?” That is literally so much less creepier.

> You can’t just fucking ASSUME that the kids learned the phrase “sexual assault” from watching TV shows for older kids! That is something you NEED to tell the parents about!

> And you’re not even worried about those older siblings casually talking about sexual assault in front of their baby siblings? At all? Bitch, there are some things that SHOULDN’T be talked about in front of kids!!

> Well, you’re right in that I don’t have actual proof. But given how you & your friends constantly lie & refuse to provide any proof, I don’t give a shit. At this rate, a freaking ANON comment is more trustworthy than your own words.

> Her apologies don’t mean SHIT because as I’ve pointed out before: they’re not real apologies. There was no notion to make amends, to promise to not do the same thing again, etc. Her apologies are HOLLOW. And, frankly, so are your’s. Especially with your friends commenting below about the “nasty shallies” forcing you to apologize. You didn’t “TECHNICALLY” do something wrong, you ACTUALLY did something wrong & fucking illegal, jackass!

> I don’t give a shit if she or you are minors. That doesn’t fucking excuse your behavior. You both can still be arrested or legally punished for this kind of crap.

> When you say shit like that, that I, some random asshole on the Internet documenting your own freaking words, am WORSE than your abuser…..

that just proves to me that you’ve never actually been abused before.

That you don’t give a shit about real abuse & don’t know what it’s like.

No abuse victim would ever make such a flippant comparison to their trauma like that.

You’re the one who’s sick here, not me.

Disclaimer: This response is entirely the opinion of Lord Pastel Lance & NOT of anyone else. Just me. If you have problems with it, criticize me, not other people.

[survivorhogsmeade]

Episode #3: I Am A Sneaky Bitch. -Alex C

Of course y’all fucking swapped us. I was JUST getting to know people and now I have to start over wooooo can’t wait. 

I like the tribe I guess. Elmo and I were separated which is sad, but I still have Sammy and now Stephen. Things are looking good...I hope.

Ack! The swap! But hey my OG tribe has majority, I only haven’t met one person before, and I don’t have to worry about Olivia and Lukas teaming up to kill me.... yet. Im really glad to have second chances with these people I just hope they see it the same way, we look like a strong tribe too though there are some powerhouses on the other tribe still.

There was a swap! Dang I miss my old friends now... at least I have Elmo on my side! Ash is very inactive so I'm a little worried with numbers

So I'm trying the Room of Requirement task. It seems hard, mostly because I am not the best at anagrams and because I am having the hardest time finding any of the items. At least, the website is actually working now, only messed up a little bit lol.

I GOT SEPARATED FROM ALL OF MY FUCKING FRIENDS ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS FUCK YOU RANDOM DOT ORG At least I have Elmo. Hopefully this will bring us closer together Kevin is... unsettling like he’s a loose cannon 

This challenge seemed fun at first, and it is still a super cool idea... I am just no longer enjoying myself. I think I'm just going to go to bed now, because I don't want to deal with this anymore. :(

If inactive ash is the death of me I will fucking riot

This challenge needs to die and never be brought into another game again literally go Thelma and Louise yourself challenge omfgggg. I mean kudos to the hosts for working hard af on it like what a cool concept but goddamn for someone as lazy as I am it’s fuckin terrible 😂

A swap?  Groundbreaking.

And NATURALLY both tribes are 4-3 Rosmerta.  Things don't look great for our heroes, folks!

My plan in this swap is twofold: first, make friends.  Okay, fine.  Elmo seems nice, Kevin seems...desperate.  Sure, fine.

Second step: BURN MYKONOS TO THE MOTHERFUCKIN GROUND

Basically, if and when we lose, I am going to go to Elmo, Kevin and the third one I've forgotten and say "Hey, listen, obviously y'all have the numbers, and that's chill.  But here is the thing: there's a six-person alliance and I want to burn it down so we all don't get fucked at merge, so let's vote Kylie out and then Olivia."

Will it work?  Who knows!  Will it be fun? Hells yes!

Gulp this challenge isn’t looking good and if it comes to tribal I am worried. I hope I can work something out with Lukas Anna and Madison, Joanna, or Sammy, or even Alex C if thats the only option. If we do lose tribal it’ll be info gathering time, trying to SUBTLY find cracks in the for. Or in the worst case scenario betray Zonko for some kind of position with Rosmerta.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1Q4jnht0aI1

Kevin doing something very unexpected

https://vocaroo.com/i/s06QxTdrohXY

room of requirement + train wreck tribe + possible alliance of mykonos people + general stuff

im a #dumbass and i love elmo so much omfg but we're so alone also i love ruthie, alex, and kylie more than ash already but it would be so dangerous to flip bc they could run to ash and be like hey they want you out vote with us and get one of either elmo or i out ugh

Yeah, so, um, I suck at anagrams. Sammy, who is someone I trust 100%, said he went for the room as well, but said that he didn't get there first. I'm currently trying to decide if it is even worth trying to solve this anagram at this point. But I know that I want to work with Sammy. With a little help from Sammy, I finished the anagram and have submitted the link to my host chat, knowing full well that I am not getting a trip to the room. Mostly just wanted to finish it, because I would have felt like a failure if I didn't lol. Anyway, I hope that Olivia went for it and got it! I can't wait for Sammy and I to be reunited with her (and bring Lukas too).

I am really stressed about losing that immunity. The people that I DO NOT want to go: Lukas and Sammy. The people that I would prefer not to go but if sacrifices have to be made: AJ/Anna. I think Alex C is a very big asset in terms of challenges, but that is a little scary going into the merge. Stephen scares me a little because I have played with him before and I know how smart he is, but I also want to work with him because he is super smart and we never got a chance to really repair the broken ass relationship we had in Mykonos (game wise). Madison... she has barely talked to me... Lukas says that it would be a big move to get rid of her, but like I haven't formed really any type of relationship with her and she hasn't been doing that much in terms of challenges. She's looking like the best option... I'm planning on asking around a little bit to try and see what everyone is thinking but ya know, when people don't talk to you it is hard to tell

Madison tells me she’s heard Lukas name. I’m good with that. But Joanna tells me she’s not close with Madison and isn’t opposed to flipping on the Rosmertas. On one hand getting out a Rosmerta could help even numbers, but looking forward I’d rather break tribelines than stick to them. If we have less Zonko and more Rosmerta then its less likely to become ZvR at merge. But I want both Madison and Joanna as potential allies as I still dont know what really went on pre-swap. I don’t think I should tell Madison what Joanna said, but I might be able to sway Joanna to vote Lukas. I’ll wait to see what Alex C, Sammy, and Anna think.

I've changed my mind. Before I was thinking that in a dire situation I would vote for AJ. I have decided I was lying to myself, I am not voting for her. I want her to stay, because I really really like talking to her and I would just be sad to see her go. Idk why I thought I would have been okay with it.

*Me to Anna*: “oh you want to vote out Madison? Thats fine its Fine! All good I’ve got your back!” *Me internally*: “fuckfuckfuck” Ah well, if it happens it happens I live to vote another day. I just know this could blow up in my face. I might tell Madison, see if she has an idol.

yikes okay so we are going to tribal...i tried to get a lot of them..we were just three behind, rip. I found the link to go to the room of requirement but I was too late..somebody already beat me. I think it could’ve been elmo, Alex, or Olivia. I’m really hoping it was elmo. He is probably my closest ally and I’m trying to distance myself away from all the mykonos people...but i want to work with some of them. For example, Joanna and I didn’t get to work together in the game because we never got the chance. Stephen and I were going against each other in Mykonos but I wasn’t to try to work with him here. Olivia and Lukas are gonna work together so that makes me extremely nervous. I like Anna, she’s super cool and I’m really hoping we can work together for a long time. Alex is a great player all around so he makes me a bit nervous. Anyways that challenge was super fun and I’m glad I could help out!  The only names I’ve heard for the vote are Madison, Stephen, and Lukas, but i Like them all:/ i think Madison is going home which sucks bc i know how much she’s been wanting to play a Harry Potter game but she’s been busy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NPBIwQyPWE

these hoes REALLY tryna push my name around today of all days. I GOTTA GO TO PROM Y’ALL THIS IS AN ALL DAY THING. catch me campaigning to stay while getting my hair done.

I’m so glad we finally won something woohoo! Right now I’m on a monorail to Epcot and glad I’m not having to worry about a vote!

Sammy, Joanna, and myself are tight. However, we cannot figure out the vote for tonight. We want Stephen gone but AJ is throwing a fit because she thinks it’s an attack on old tribe lines. For now we just have to make sure it’s not my trio that leaves. Idc about anything else. 

We won! I haven't been to tribal yet either! I wonder how long o can go without going to tribal :0

So this tribe swap is stressful. I have Stephen and Lukas from OG Zonko and then I met 4 new people... which obviously means we are in the minority if people are sticking to their og tribes. I vibed really well with Joanna and Alex C, they are really fun people. I don't 100% trust them yet but they are really fun to talk to. 

We lost immunity... shocker.. a tribe I'm on loses??? I'm shocked. Now I've heard literally everyones names except me or Joanna. People wanted Alex because he's so good at challenges but people that good at challenges go early merge and we need him to win the next challenge if we don't swap or anything yet. Every og Rosmerta has told me they like me more than their original tribe and that they wanna work with me, do I believe it?? ehh.. does it make me happy? hell yeah.. 

Alex wanted Sammy which threw me off because everyone has been saying Stephen. I don't want Stephen to go because he's an OG Zonko and i told him I would try to keep him safe. Now yes, I am going to TRY but I'm not going to put my own neck on the line for someone else. I don't think these tribe lines are too strong and I think they can be broken next round. People are also saying Stephen is a sneaky player from past games so maybe that is true? Who knows. My vote is still up in the air but I have work in like less than 2 hours so I'm gonna have to decide quick.

https://youtu.be/W_HUdf89hI8

I'm having a great time!!!!!!! We won!! This is so nice oh my god I spent three hours on that challenge and only found three things and i was so worried but we did it!

I can't believe we won again! I've been immune every single round which is lit af :') I lowkey made f2 with Kevin and talked about with Olivia. Gotta have your bases covered, yknow? I've been trying to keep talking to Ruthie, Kylie and Alex S so if we eventually lose, we can have an easy vote. ALTHOUGH, I do have to admit that I'm paranoid that the OG Zonko's are going to team up with Ash and vote Kevin off (I think that Kevin would be the first target because Kylie and Olivia are friends and I THINK they like me so they wouldn't want me out first. Who knows though! My perception could be really off!)

I feel like we might have another swap at 12, maybe not but it would be cool! This tribe is kinda scary because of Kev's maneuver! But I'm just trying to take it day by day right now. 

Rosmerta's tribe will be interesting to see because I hope that my OG tribe stays together to vote off one of the OG Zonko's. I still want Anna to stay because it would be nice to have an ally at the merge who I've known before the game. I also feel like Alex C could be in danger but I really hope that he's not! Pray for Rosmertas and Anna! If Stephen or Lukas went out it would be VERY nice because it would definitely weaken the supposed Mykonos alliance , still not sure if its true but there's defo rumors of that being a thing

Go to sleep to drama, wake up to drama. Its the drama ouroboros. So apparently Lukas, Sammy, and Joanna are targetting me for Mykonos, which is very rude but not unsurprising. But Madison Aex and Anna are going to save me and vote Sammy? Idk who to believe but I am more tempted to trust Anna atm.

Alright kids, we finally won something!  And thank gods too, because this weekend was TERRIBLE for me to try and scramble, so I got real lucky.  Also, of the 30 items, I found, like, half?  And I could've had more if I had, like, spelled Colin Creevey's name right?  So I feel good about that.

Anyway, here is my assessment of my current Zonko tribe, in no particular order.

Ruthie - light of my life, my moon and stars, I must ensure I have the opportunity to push her in front of a train at some point

Elmo - Easily the one I've talked to the most since the swap.  Nice kid, I like him, I think he's playing more naive than he actually is but that's fine.

Kevin - a mess, I'm love him, asked me for help on the challenge because he is a disaster, hopefully I can pocket him

Kylie - literally didn't message me until today, okay girl

Olivia - we keep missing each other and also I want her dead because Mykonos sooooo

Ash - whom

Operation "Save My Ass By Turning People Against Mykonos" is absolutely a go, though my hope is that I won't be in too much danger as a challenge asset, but this is also nearing the point where you gotta cut the challenge assets loose, SO!  We'll see!

I expect Anna to be voted out on the other tribe tonight because she is not a Mykonian and I know she was busy yesterday because it was her birthday, so I suspect she may not have had as much time to bond with the tribe as she would've liked.

I am a sneaky bitch holy hell. See Sammy and Joanna messaged me at the same time wanting to vote off Stephen. They also both wanted Madison gone for a hot second. So my thought process went to “huh, what if they do that to me?” So I went to AJ and asked if we could vote off Sammy. Then asked Madison, and told Stephen he basically had to or he’d be voted off.

Idk what it is with Sammy. I like him a lot as a person but game wise I just don’t think we’re ever exactly on the same page.

I also got into the room of requirement and got the marauders map. I picked it because of Daddy Lupin and that’s really only why. I get to see what alliances (or how many I forget) a person is in. I can use it once until the final seven. I don’t think it’s the strongest power I could’ve gotten but somethings better than nothing.

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 11 Confessionals

luke said tribal was inchresting i agree

wowowowoo i didnt get any vote? what did i do right?

FSDKJHDSKJFHDSKJ yikes im gone but that was so fun!!! 

so... after that insane tribal, i now realize how bad of a spot me and zach actually were in and we're dumbasses. i'm obviously expendable to them bc they voted me just so they could vote for someone else on the next vote instead of... idk.. katie? luke? each other? but no. they voted me. and then charlotte messages me after we cant change our votes and tells me my names coming up!! fun. like why tell me after. just so if i go youre not responsible? like no. i see where i am with you. ugh whatever. ill kiss up and they're all trying to get zach out. me and zach are basically... we are rock climbing a vertical wall with no gear. like it's hard but it's possible. so we're gonna try and make sure jordan doesnt win immunity to get charlotte on our side for AT LEAST rocks and maybe katie would vote with us. jordan or luke will win in the end. its simple. so let's make a move.

Well. That was a fucking disaster. I mean, sort of. I'm still alive and kicking, so it didn't go as poorly as it could have. On the plus side, Zach doesn't know (I don't think) that I was the one behind the plan to get him out. I think there's a good chance that Luke and Zach might have a secret alliance though so that is something to keep in mind as we go further into this game. Luke might have to go sooner rather than later. A new alliance was formed tonight consisting of me, Jordan, Luke, and Katie. Caron and I also have a F2 alliance and Zach and I are close but I don't trust him in this game as far as I can throw him. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, hell hath no fury.  The fact that he lied about his vote tonight makes me think that he can't really be trusted moving forward ... so ... there's that. I wish JP had been able to use his advantage on Zach for the next round. Alas, we just have to hope that Zach won't win... and if he does? I think it might be time for JP or Luke to go home. We can't all make it to the end, even if that would be a satisfying FTC. 

This STEP UP challenge can burn in hell. It can choke. I hold Ryan personally responsible. 

Let's watch the progression of my failure. ok im gonna PRACTICE this challenge Sent on:10:45 am bc i am too dumb for this and i fuck up i fall off the steps and die I fail two more times. maybe three more times. time no longer has meaning. i am nothing but my failure. watch zach win this and ruin my life lol byye

Okay so I threw immunity for two reasons. First reason is because I had to in order to retrieve my wishing well item. Second reason is because I did not want to waste an hour for a competition I was likely unable to win. The object I got was a golden mirror, and basically, it ruined my game. Nonetheless, it's boring but NO REGRETS! I essentially have a great relationship with Carson. I trust him 100% and he's the only one I trust. Katie is fine too, but I feel like she's loyal to J.pines and won't go against him. Jpines and Luke are a duo, and one has to go - unfortunately, jordan is immune so... and last but not least, charlotte. a queen! anyway, they all want me out and for some odd, yet stupid reason, have been telling carson this info. I think the idea to get Carson to vote me last tribal was REALLY good because it made us look not closer. also, i wasn't going ANYWHERE last round because the idol Carson so lovely gifted me! Anyway, it's time to scramble. Tomorrow I plan on leaking information to Char about what luke/jpines say and just work my ass off to get her against Luke. In addition, i'll use receipts. Reversing that, i'm going to try to pit everyone against one another just to see if I can survive another round. As Carson called it, the plan name is: "Operation: Save Zach" Or as i'd prefer... "Operation eject Luke and others"

Me: I think Luke has the idol. Me: I think Zach has the idol. Also me: Hey, maybe Jordan has it. I ... am sensing a trend. I have no idea who has the idol except that it's not me. I'm also 99% sure that I'm the one going home this vote... so that's Fun. O well, it's been fun. I can't wait to get torn apart in Ponderosa. 

Gah.... The plan this round is to tell Zach that the vote is Charlotte, tell Charlotte the vote is Zach and then vote out Charlotte because she's the bigger threat. Getting Charlotte out would mean I'm the only winner left in the game which I'm hype about but also nervous about. After Charlotte I wanna get Zach out, then Carson, then Katie and after that it's me and Jordan Pines until the end. I'm so glad JP was cast in this game and that we've made it as far as we have, I adore him<3 I'm nervous about this round simply because it's so easy for Charlotte and Zach to realise I'm playing them but I have the idol if I feel like I need to play it. I have the idol ready for next round. No doubt JP will win immunity and then I can play the idol on myself and it's goodbye Zach. 

[2017-10-03, 2:57:10 PM] Jordan Pines: can i ask a favour though if thats all right? [2017-10-03, 2:57:37 PM] Jordan Pines: can you make your vote for charlotte with the confessional CHA [2017-10-03, 2:57:40 PM] Jordan Pines: like make it [2017-10-03, 2:57:43 PM] Jordan Pines: Charlotte - CHA

Can you believe I'm going to ruin Jordan's attempts at Chaos Squad 2.0? If I seriously manage to screw that up again... I can retire happily and never have to play again.

Okay making my first confessional of the night, ill talk about my tribal plans in the other one, this one. WOOHOOO JORDAN WINS HIS THIRD IMMUNITY. ISNT THIS FUCKING NICE, ARENT WE HAVING A FUCKING GOOD TIME EVERYONE? and luke still has the idol which means hopefully we go into final 5 with an idol on us. Now onto my fucking tribal plans.....

Get ready y'all, get fucking ready y'all. Tonight the Chaos Squad rides again. And who is the target, while miss AD herself, Charlotte. I love you hon, but its time to go and I hope you understand the game move I had to make by this. Me and luke have made this decision to make a bold move to secure ourselves going into final 5 with majority and no shadyness. Goodbye AD, goodbye.

me/charlotte/zach are voting for luke?? and hopefully ti works idk. i do not wanna get rocked out again please god. zach and charlotte are like "WOO ROCKS LETS DO IT" and im like. NO BITCH... but whatever. me + charlotte + zach seem to be on the bottom?? i hope something works and that us 3 can escape tribal unscathed... rockless hopefully. hopefully katie flips and saves us from rocks but... katie's a loyal bitch. love her for that.... but .. lets pray woo. nothing of note happening other than jordan + luke telling me to vote zach and telling zach to vote charlotte and leave me/charlotte out??? idk. theyre insane, lets hope this works out.

So I called with Char and explained everything, then added Carson and explained everything. You heard a lot of it, but I basically ratted out Luke and Jordan to Char, and convinced her they are against her. It was true information, I wasn't lying. Anyway, tonight should go one of three ways: A) Luke idols, Char/myself goes - unlikely. I would say a 4% B) Luke and Char/myself go to a tiebreaker of 3-3, we get Katie/Jordan to flip and vote out Luke. 48% C) Luke and Char/myself go to tie, and it goes to rocks with Katie, Carson and likely myself, and we go hard! 48% The worst case scenario would be Carson gets rocked out. My preference is: 1. Luke gets flipped on and leaves 2. It goes to rocks, Katie leaves 3. It goes to rocks, Zach leaves 4. It goes to rocks, Carson leaves Getting rocked out? A dream come true.

I made a confessional like 3 hours ago and idk what else to right. Chaos Squad part 2 is about to be so funny and I'm sure the VL are going to hate it bc they love Charlotte I'm sure but I'm SO excited for this to happen rkjnjkdnjkt