#bc the day we were supposed to go to the second office is a holiday

[spacebell]

so either I am very chill (with some things) or I let people walk all over me

[blush-and-books]

okay okay whats ur dream episode of suits ??

ahhh ok so i've been really thinking about this and i still don't really have a good answer but here goes :)) sorry this took so long i have been cooking on it for the past couple of days!!💞

there's a couple of episode types i would really like to see. first of all, one of my favorite shows of all time (and the reason I started this blog like ten years ago) had an episode in their third season that put it's main couple (when they were in a will they/won't they point of their relationship) in an isolated situation and basically the entire 45 minutes was them going through various hurdles and discovering things about their relationship along the way.

my donnaharvey nonsense braincell would fucking LOVE an episode like this. like some kind of plotline where harvey has some kind of conference to attend for the firm and they obviously get two invitations but since the firm is always in shambles, they can't afford to send more than one senior/named partner away, and so they let donna go with harvey instead and she has to feed him the names of everyone they meet that hes supposed to already know. even tho in the show they're professional partners, i feel like we never explicitly see little donna and harvey work adventures like we see for him and mike. obviously harvey and mike have these adventures bc the show is about them but anyways

or an episode where there's a brutal case or smth and it's just an episode of him and donna in his office together for hours. idk where mike is - helping louis, maybe, or dealing with a case of his own, or the case that harvey is working on is just too delicate or high risk for him to want mike involved. so it's just him and donna. maybe marcus calls at some point, or donna's dad. they listen to gordon's records and talk about their families and their futures etc etc. i would love for this to feel like an expansion of when his office got moved to that lower floor and donna just had to sit across from him at his desk to do her work bc there wasn't an intercom.

OR, WAIT, the episode is about harvey's annual heart checkup and they call him back to run more tests after an inconclusive initial exam, and he needs to have someone drive him/pick him up, and of course donna finds out this is happening and just kind of invited herself along to wait with him for the results of the tests because she knows this annual appointment is like brutal for him every year. the whole episode he aggressively tells her to go away and she stays the whole time. yaps her ass off. but when the nurse comes out with the results of the tests he has to grab donna's hand. and regardless of the outcome he starts to cry the second that they get into the car. donna holds his hand and leans her head on his shoulder while he lets it out. they go up to his place for a drink afterwards, maybe they listen to some music, or watch a movie. while all of this is happening, mike is on a very silly case adventure with louis and jessica is enlisting rachel's help with a case that could come with some bad press for the firm, and they need to avoid that as much as possible. i thought rachel and jessica were a really great pair and i wanted more of them!!!!!

similarly i would love for something bad to happen to donna (affectionate) that just derails harvey completely and he spends the episode with her in the hospital while everyone else is dealing with like insane levels of bullshit from daniel hardman or someone and harvey has a big trial when donna is supposed to get a surgery and she tells him to go but he takes one step into the courtroom and had a panic attack bc they didn't get to do the can opener ritual and hes convinced he's cooked so he runs back to the hospital after haphazardly throwing everything onto mike at the last minute.

uuuh ALSO a holiday episode. CHAOTIC HOLIDAY EPISODE PLEASE. the firm is not decorated and nobody has the holiday spirit except, like, rachel, and probably donna too. harvey and mike are emo about the holidays due to family trauma and louis is getting everyone Hanukkah gifts. there's probably a firm party that's planned by rachel and louis to get everyone into the holiday spirit. harvey contemplates going to marcus's, and impulsively invites donna to come with him after mike makes some plot important speech at the firm party about he finally feels like he has a family to celebrate the holidays with again after his grandmother died, and how he doesn't ever want to take the time he has with his loved ones for granted. there's some joke about donna already buying her own gift from harvey bc he never knows what to get her.

in general i really like the idea of a bottle episode and would love an episode that takes place like, entirely in the file room, and we just see snippets of conversations or arguments or illicit meetups that happen in the file room over the course of one day. i feel like that format would be very cool.

this was a terrible answer to your question bc honestly i just think about what i would like to see between donna and harvey and that's not a good way to go about it but oh well!! thank you so much for this ask i love getting to write obnoxious long winded answers 💖💖💖🥹

also would love an episode where jessica meets a badass lawyer who just got brought in as a name partner at a competitor firm but the badass lawyer is a very beautiful and intimidating woman possibly played by lucy liu and they fall in love. yup!!

[prismaticpichu]

Zack takes Seph to his home at Gongaga. Fair family and Seph yay ! \(^0^)/

AHHH yessss! The family!!! <3 <3 I love this idea SO much!!! (Beware of the extensive length this was stretched to due to a serious lack of self-control and just about every concerning trait in the alphabet)

It’s a lonnngg weekend, maybe some kind of holiday break (look these guys are nuts and tyrannical but they still like holidays), and Zack is ready to blow the roof off the place. Can we get another Kool-aid man OH YEAH??!! He hasn’t had a vacay break in so long, and now that the tumult of the Genesis war has finally quelled a little, it was time to kick back and relax. (NOT like that Costa del sol trip. No way Jose.) He loves dolphins and all, and he even loves Midgar, but he was thinking something personal. Something away from all the smoke and road rage.

Bingo! He’s gonna visit home. Ohhh he missed his family so much!!

But wait-

Zack glances over, and there’s Seph sitting at his desk, buried in Mount Everest. He couldn’t just leave Seph behind… not when he would be stuck doing all the paperwork himself. Not when he would be doing paperwork. And, most of all, 14 days away??? That is WAY too long without his best buddy. It wouldn’t feel like a vacation if all he wanted to do was come home.

Time to add oneeee more thing to the packing list.

Sephiroth is trepidatious, as anyone who likes staying in their comfort zone at home (coughs) would be. Take that and a few qualms about him not fitting in, and we get a very nervous embodiment of perfection—he would hide under the table if he could fit. He… he can’t go. People were terrified of him. He would soil the mood, blight it, especially when Zack was reuniting with his parents for the first time in years.

But Zack is there to assure him otherwise. He wants him there—dragging him out of the office is just a bonus. Ma and Pa would love Seph. It’s only science! He loves Seph, so his folks will too. He promises him that he won’t leave his side, not for one second. Then it’s time for the pupper eyes.

….Alright. Fine. He’s in. *cue Krakatoa erupting into a mushroom cloud with spiky hair*

Upon arriving, Sephiroth‘s first thought is just how clean everything is. No smog. No Mako. There is an old reactor, but Zack assures him it’s dormant and shut down bc “folks around here were afraid of it exploding”. Very smart on their part, very stupid on ShinRa’s. But Zack drags him away from that train of thought with a lasso. NO WORK, Seph! Nothing remotely related to ShinRa!!

Sephiroth watches from afar as Zack rushes towards his house and reunites with his family. His parents are overcome, hugging and teary and more hugs (it’s very easy to see where Zack got his knack from). It’s very heartwarming, but still… a little hollow all the same. It is hard to keep his mind from drifting towards the thought of a loving mother embracing her son.

And THEN—

Ohhhh boy… Zack makes his presence known. Why would he do that? He was perfectly fine standing behind the fence. Goddess his parents are looking at him… his father looks scrutinizing, maybe, it only made sense. And his mother… she is walking towards—

She hugs him. Very tight.

“Thank you for taking care of my son…” she whispers.

Sephiroth is very uncomfortable—like a lot. Zack was the only one he ever let hug him, but he supposed this was a kindred spirit… and… he needed to correct her. Very gently. He urges himself to relax, sighing deeply.

“Your son took care of me.”

Zack’s father obviously shares similar feelings. He pats him on the shoulder and praises him for all he’s done. Him, the slayer. This was uncalled for. And ZACK—he is just standing there letting him endure all of this. Why won’t he save him…?!

He feels better again once Zack is sitting beside him at the kitchen table, gently squeezing his hand under it whenever he tenses up. There’s a lot of questions and stories to go around; Zack monopolizes the conversation, talking about his Chocobo friend and the one who sometimes sleeps in his helmet. Carl and Susan (sure let’s go with that) inventively ask about how they met, and boy Zack is ready to jump in and tell a (hyperbolic) version of how he was nearly burnt to a crisp and Seph saved him (that’s another smile from his parents to him goddamn it Zack). He goes on to tell him about Genesis, and how clones do exist, and how flowers can bloom with enough love… Then his parents ask about his scar. Sephiroth takes it from here, recounting the story without using names, and now it’s him who’s squeezing Zack’s hand tight <3

Zack is ecstatic to show Sephiroth his room! Firstly, Sephiroth is in awe at how many toys can fit on a single dresser. He finds it all very fitting—and then Zack goes on to recount every stuffed animal’s name on the bed. It’s a very long attendance list… but Sephiroth is very amused. Things get a little interesting when Zack pulls out a crumpled old newspaper and hands it to Seph—a paper with him on it, just a teen in the war, extremely glorified in the photo but a snapshot in time he remembered nonetheless. Zack says finding that newspaper, despite everything, was one of the best things to ever happen to him. Sephiroth is just as grateful for the photographer.

Dinner time! Seph never had a home-cooked meal before… and Zack was right. It tastes so much better than anything he had ever eaten. He tries his best to be polite, trying to eat only a moderate amount, but Mrs. Fair keeps coaxing him with MORE food and what is he supposed to do? Say no? That’s equally as rude. Sephiroth helps with the dishes afterwards and insists Zack does too <3

Following dinner, Zack leads Sephiroth outside and down by a lake. The stars are so bright and beautiful, completely unshielded by smog, their reflections rippling in untainted water. Zack commences to tell all these stories about trying to dump fish food in so they wouldn’t be hungry. Classic Zack. Sephiroth offers one of his Sephiroth-famous head pats, and Zack nearly falls asleep.

Zack insists Sephiroth takes his bed. Insists! It would’ve worked out too if Sephiroth didn’t nearly break it just by climbing in. Silly big boy. He ends up unfurling an old sleeping bag instead and huddles in right next to Zack’s bed—with only three to six stuffed animals dumping on him bc Zack is a bigger pupper now. Zack’s parents try to persuade him to sleep on the couch (better back support and all), but Seph politely yet vehemently insists otherwise.

Gongaga is home to a lot of rain too. A lot of it. Zack was never the biggest fan of thunder—but just bc it was loud, okay? He was NOT scared. Nope. Sephiroth wakes up in the middle of the night with Zack tucked into the sleeping bag beside him, curling up next to his shirt and hogging most of the pillow. Sephiroth doesn’t mind though; it wasn’t the first time, not even close, and Zack is a toasty warmth against him. Sephiroth just sighs and shakes his head, wrapping his arms around his friend as another clap of thunder roars outside. At least Zack would like all the puddles.

[helnjk]

Snowed In - C.W.

Charlie Weasley x fem!reader

Requested: yes! by my love @lupinsclassroom

Ah HA I finally came up with a Charlie request. Okay, of course it’s professor reader because I’m obsessed with them but like....Charlie visits hogwarts, and then (I know logistically this isn’t possible bc ✨magic✨) but he gets snowed in and has to stay in the castle for the weekend and it’s just cozy and soft 🥺

Word count: 2.6k

Summary: sometimes, it takes just the right circumstances to get what you want. 

Warnings: meal mention, reference to/implied sex (blink and you’ll miss it), winter fluff! 

A/N: this took me so long to get done aaaaaaaa 😩 but yay ! more COMC professor & charlie 🥰

– 

Christmas at Hogwarts was always a spectacular sight. The professors always loved to go above and beyond with the decorations, but even without them, the grounds and the castle looked, well, magical. 

“Professor L/N?” a voice from across the room mumbled. 

Y/N looked up from the stack of papers she was grading to see Eloise Abbott, wrapped in her cloak and her Hufflepuff scarf, standing at the entrance to her office. A neatly wrapped present was clutched in her gloved hands as she waited for her professor to invite her inside. 

Athena was perched on her stand behind Y/N, resting after a long afternoon of delivering various Christmas gifts. Her sleeping figure seemed to appease the student’s apprehension slightly as she called out, “Come on in, Eloise!” 

“Isn’t the train supposed to be leaving soon? What’re you still doing in the castle?” Y/N questioned, stashing away the stack of parchments on her desk, that way her attention would be fully on the Hufflepuff. 

“Yep!” Eloise replied quickly, “I just wanted to drop off a present for you before I go! I know that you’re staying here for the holidays, right?” 

“You’re right.” Y/N smiled. “Thank you for thinking of me, Eloise, that was very sweet of you.”

A swift nod was her reply, and as quick as she had come, Ms. Abbott turned on her heel and darted out of the room. Thankfully, she remembered to yell a hasty, “Happy Christmas!” over her shoulder before she was fully out of hearing range. 

Y/N shook her head with a soft smile on her lips. Even after being her professor for nearly six years now, Eloise was still a shy little thing when it came to communicating with professors or any sort of authority figure. Still, the gesture warmed her heart greatly. 

The thought of gifts and spending Christmas alone, well, not exactly alone, but not with the Weasleys this year put a slight damper on her mood, though. Minerva had asked her if she could spend the holidays at Hogwarts this year since they were running short of staff who could chaperone the students. Of course, Y/N could never say no to her favorite teacher turned cool boss. It was the least she could do. 

With a sigh, she stroked Athena’s soft feathers and came to the conclusion that she was too distracted to continue her grading. 

Despite her attempt for some alone time, Minerva managed to stop her in the hallway. 

“Ah Y/N, just the person I wanted to see,” the older professor smiled.

“Anything I can do for you, Min?” Y/N replied.

She nodded, “I need your help with a particularly odd creature in my office. It doesn’t seem to want to leave.” 

The two professors briskly walked towards the Headmistress’ office side by side, their winter robes swishing around their legs. Professor L/N’s brows furrowed at the lack of concern Minerva had shown at the fact that there was a creature in her office. Of course, the older witch was highly skilled and educated, so maybe it wasn’t that big of a problem. What did she need Y/N’s help for then? 

“Er, Minerva,” Y/N began as they turned a corner, “What creature exactly is in your office? Do you think we need backup?” 

“I didn’t exactly get a good look at it, I just saw that it had orange-colored fur.” 

“Minerva.” 

The sly grin that she was met with did nothing to help the situation. Y/N simply rolled her eyes and went along with the all too obvious scheme the Headmistress had hatched up this time. 

The pair said nothing else as they continued their journey to the Minerva’s office, save for the password–’panthera leo’–once they reached the gargoyle statue. Y/N’s curiosity got the better of her as they ascended the spiral staircase, especially since the older witch hadn’t stopped grinning. 

“So, you’re not going to tell me what’s going on despite the fact that you’re grinning at me like a cheshire cat?” Y/N probed, raising an eyebrow. 

“You’ll see, dear.” 

The younger professor had to push down the urge to roll her eyes. Thankfully, they had reached the top of the staircase, and the words she was about to say got stuck in her throat as she saw what, or rather who, was in the office. 

“Charlie?” she gasped, after pushing the door open. 

Leaning against the large oak desk with his legs crossed in front of him was Charlie Weasley with a shit-eating grin. Y/N paused at the entrance to the Headmistress’ office, her eyes darting between the redhead and her boss. 

“He’s the orange-furred creature that you can’t seem to get out of your office?” 

Even as she spoke the words, her head couldn’t wrap around the absurdity of the situation. Charlie let out a loud laugh at her question, his eyes moving his former professor and head of house, who had just slipped past Y/N and into her office. 

“I asked Minnie here to help me out some with surprising you,” he grinned cheekily. 

He pushed off the desk and took a few short strides. Faster than she could comprehend, he was standing in front of her, soft eyes staring down at hers and rough hands grasping at her arms. 

“Hi,” he spoke softly. 

In an instant, she practically melted in his arms, “Hi Charlie.” 

The sound of someone clearing their throat brought them out of their little bubble and their heads turned in Minerva’s direction.

“Alright Mr. Weasley, I helped you surprise Y/N,” she smiled knowingly, “Now off with you two! I’ve got a school to run.” 

With a shout of thanks, Charlie took Y/N’s hand and practically dragged her out of the office. Biting her lip to contain her grin, she felt like she was a student again, laughing through the deserted hallways as she and her boyfriend ran towards her quarters. 

There was a lot of tripping over their own feet and a lot of giggling, but she hadn’t felt this elated in a long time. Whenever Charlie would turn to look back at her, the edges of her lips would turn upwards automatically, as if he was the source of her happiness and her laughter.

Which, in a lot of ways, he was. 

Y/N had never been so glad to see the castle empty. It meant that she could let her professional professor facade down and let loose without having to think too hard about the repercussions. 

“So,” she started as they reached the hallway containing her room, “Care to tell me when you planned all of this?” 

The sparkle of mischief and delight in Charlie’s eyes nearly made her swoon, “I can’t stay long, unfortunately. Mum’s expecting me at the Burrow tonight, but I got an early portkey so that I could see you before Christmas.” 

Pushing up on her tiptoes, Y/N kissed him softly, “You’re wonderful, do you know that?” 

“Careful there, love, we don’t want to boost my ego too much.” 

–

“You all set?” Y/N asked, smoothing out the creases in Charlie’s scarf and trying to busy herself in an attempt to distract her mind from the thought of not spending Christmas in his arms. 

With a deep sigh, he answered, “Yep, just about.” 

Majority of their afternoon together was spent in bed, much to their joint amusement. In Charlie’s defense, he had come to do whatever it was that Y/N wanted, and well, that was what she ended up choosing. In hindsight, it was probably their best option anyway, since the weather outside the castle had slowly begun to worsen. 

By the time they had stumbled out of the warmth of Y/N’s bed and had gotten dressed once again, it was practically dark outside due to the snowstorm that rolled in. 

“It’s looking pretty rough out there,” she noted, as the pair of them walked hand in hand down the deserted hallways. 

Now and then, a student staying at Hogwarts for the holidays would pass by them and try their hardest not to stare at their hot Care of Magical Creatures professor and her equally hot dragon tamer boyfriend. 

Each time a student rushed past, Charlie would wait until they were out of sight before making eye contact with Y/N and smiling so big it shouldn’t have been humanly possible. 

“You’re insufferable,” she grumbled after the third student they encountered disappeared around the corner. 

“You love me,” he shrugged. 

The bickering pair paused mid step when they heard a new set of footsteps approaching them. For the second time that day, Y/N watched as Minerva approached. 

“I’m afraid your journey to the Burrow has to be put on hold, Mr. Weasley,” she spoke as she reached the pair. 

“What?” Y/N and Charlie said together. 

“The storm outside is much too harsh for anyone to walk past the apparition wards, even with impervious charms,” she explained.

“What about your floo, can’t he use that to get to the Burrow?” 

As Y/N spoke, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty at the pang of excitement she felt at the thought of being able to spend more time with Charlie. 

“Ministry’s just gotten back with word that the Floo Network is under maintenance until further notice.” 

Charlie’s eyes flickered from Minerva’s solemn eyes to Y/N’s slightly confused ones, before he nodded, “Alright. Seems like I’m spending the night at Hogwarts then.” 

–

Dinner that night was amusing to say the least. As most students were at home with their families, those who stayed behind all fit in the long table that was usually the Head Table. Minerva, Charlie, and Y/N tried their hardest to contain their smiles at the incredulous looks that some of the students had. 

For some, it was their first time being in such close and intimate proximity to their professors. Others were wary of the attendance of the non-Hogwarts staff member, partly because he was a dragon tamer and mostly because he was Professor L/N’s boyfriend. 

Y/N’s heart had melted, however, at the sight of Charlie having a chat with the younger students. She had a flashback of summers at the Burrow when his younger siblings still weren’t old enough to attend Hogwarts, and how they looked at him with wide eyes and thought everything he said was gospel. 

“And then he opened his mouth so big I thought I was done for,” he spoke with such a tone that even Y/N was drawn in, “But turns out the old bugger was just going in for a yawn.” 

The end of his story elicited a giggle from the youngest student at the table and Y/N was sure that her heart was positively a pile of goo.

As discreetly as she possibly could, she placed her hand on top of Charlie’s thigh and grinned cheerfully as he took the signal and placed his larger one on hers. 

“Is it bad if I said that I’m glad you’re going to be here tonight?” she whispered when most of the attention wasn’t on them anymore.

“Absolutely not.” Charlie grinned and squeezed her hand. “Don’t you think the Floo being down sounds a little odd, though?” 

The pair glanced at each other and then their eyes drifted towards the Headmistress. As if she could read their minds–which was entirely possible–Minerva caught their eyes and smirked from behind her goblet as she took a sip from it. 

“Honestly, who knows what Minerva can come up with,” Y/N murmured, “She could tell us that there was a rogue Ministry gryffin creating potions in the dungeons and we would believe her.” 

The nonchalance of her statement choked out a loud laugh from Charlie. The stilted noise coming from him as he tried to contain his amusement ended up making her giggle as well. As the group finished up with their meal, the pair of them would catch each other’s eyes once in a while and another round of trying to repress their laughs would begin. 

They waited as everyone shuffled out of the Great Hall, stomachs full and eyes slightly droopy from the big meal. Their hands found each other as they walked down the chilly halls, providing a source of heat and comfort in the midst of so much cold. 

Once they reached Y/N’s quarters, Charlie flopped down on the bed with a sigh, stretching out on the comforter with a groan. 

Y/N couldn’t resist the urge to crawl onto the bed, tucking herself at his side. The familiar warmth of Charlie’s strong arm wrapping around her was enough for her to sigh contentedly, closing her eyes and succumbing to the gentle pull of sleep. 

“Wait, wait…” she heard him mumble, feeling the words vibrate through his chest. 

A groan escaped her lips as she felt him shift, pulling the both of them into a seated position. 

“Can’t, ‘m comfy here,” she grumbled, refusing to open her eyes. 

Instead of replying, Charlie carefully maneuvered them so that she lay back on the cold sheets and he slipped off the bed. It was silent for a few moments, save for the sound of his footsteps echoing through the room. Y/N was tempted to crack open her eyes just to see what he was up to, but the comfort posed by the bed was too strong. 

She knew he would eventually come back, and he did, the bed dipping as he kneeled on the space next to her. 

“Love,” he whispered, his hand brushing her cheek softly. 

“What’s it?” she mumbled, finally easing her eyes open. 

Beside her, sitting on the backs of his heels, Charlie held out a wrapped gift. The sight of him with a sheepish smile on his face, hands fidgeting nervously with the ribbon wrapped around the package, was enough for Y/N to sit up quickly. 

“Charlie?” she asked, tentatively taking the gift from him, “What’s this?” 

Her boyfriend cleared his throat before speaking, “I, erm, I was going to wait to have this delivered to you on Christmas morning but, I figured I’d rather see you open it in person.” 

Y/N didn’t need any more explanation as she tore open the wrapping. An intricately designed box opened to reveal the most beautiful necklace she had ever laid her eyes on. It was fairly simple, the design, a single pearl-like object in the center of a silver chain. If it weren’t shifting through iridescent hues of pink then blue then green then purple, she would have thought it were a pearl.

Tentatively, her fingers glided over the small round thing and it was warm to the touch.

“Oh it’s gorgeous,” she breathed, her eyes flitting upwards to meet Charlie’s.

“You like it?” he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I love it!” she grinned, “Will you put it on me?” 

For having such large and calloused hands, Charlie was nimble and quick with the clasp of the necklace, his fingers sending shivers down her spine as he placed the necklace on her. 

“It’s made out of the shell of an Antipodean Opaleye’s egg,” he explained when she turned to face him once more, “I asked a friend of mine back in Romania if he could fashion it onto a necklace. I saw the shell and thought it would look stunning on you, I was right.” 

With a soft smile, Y/N’s arms snaked around his neck and she pressed a soft kiss on his lips, “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” 

“Love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

The couple stayed in each other’s arms for a long time, relishing in the warmth and comfort of the other. When they finally managed to get dressed for bed and Y/N was tucked under Charlie’s arm for the night, their hearts were full. 

“Happy Christmas, my love,” he whispered as they were lulled to sleep. 

–

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[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Fred Weasley x Reader

 Prompt: The three times Fred knew he fell for you, and the one time he told you he loves you.

A/N: I absolutely love this prompt, I’ve seen it a couple times before but if your the creator of it please let me know so I can give you credit. Also credits to the owner of this gif!

Warnings: My longest fic ever, So many commas, Fluff, maybe angst but not really, Fred being cute, you being cute, both you and Fred being oblivious to your feelings, swearing bc its me, I think that’s it

It all started sixth year. Fred was sitting across the room from you in potions, one of the only classes you had together. You knew each other pretty well, being in the same house and year as each other, but you didn’t really get to know each other until year five, when a certain incident brought you together.

You were working on a potion, trying to read the directions as you simultaneously poured in your ingredients, before looking up and seeing you were accidentally putting in dragons horn instead of dragon claw. You started flipping through you book frantically, causing Snape to walk over.

“Something the matter Y/L/N” He said in his monotone voice, but before you could answer, your potion exploded, causing thick purple slime to cover the both of you.

The class went completely silent, not daring to speak, except for Fred, who after a few seconds was kneeled over laughing.

“Ten points from Gryffindor, and both Y/N Y/L/N and Fred Weasley will be spending the rest of the day in detention” Snape said, dismissing the class before excusing himself to exit to his office, leaving Fred to look at your purple covered self, only to be surprised when you let out a chuckle.

“He’s a lot less scary when he’s purple” You said to Fred, which caused both of you to fall into a new wave of laughter, before you pulled out your wand and muttered a quick cleaning spell.

Fred watched noticing you had missed a spot in your hair, making Fred cross the room over to you and reach to remove the last bits of goo out of your hair, which was surprisingly soft.

You laughed before thanking him and going to collect your things so you could go do whatever tasks Snape had in store for you. Fred watched as you moved your hair behind your ear, and couldn't help but notice how his heart rate picked up.

The next time Fred knew he had fallen for you was much more obvious. You and Fred had become good friends since the potions incident, and he had even let you help with some of his and Georges pranks every once in a while. You three were beginning to get along very nicely.

One night though, Fred and George were up late working on a new type of fire work in the common room, which involved using just the right amount of possibly explosive materials.

This obviously ended badly, sending fireworks flying around the room and causing quite a bit of noise. You probably wouldn’t have noticed if you were asleep, a good bit of soundproofing between the common room and your dorm room, but because you were already awake, having had trouble falling asleep, you heard the sound and assumed the worst, running out of the dorm and down the stairs.

“What's going on?!” You said once you reached the common room, eyes landing on the two boys who were ducked behind one of the couches, and covered in a bit of ash.

“New project” George said smiling looking over to Fred, expecting to join in on his explanation, but Fred was just staring at you. You had run down in a rush and didn’t bother to get changed, so you were still in a tank top and short shorts, causing Fred's brain to pretty much short circuit.

He had always found you attractive, but he had never really seen you in anything accept your robes for classes, so suddenly seeing so much skin was certainly a change.

You didn’t notice Fred's staring, but George certainly did, coming to his brothers rescue and elbowing him, snapping him out of his trance.

“Huh? Oh yes, fireworks, got a bit carried away” Fred said, trying to recover from the seemingly obvious ogling.

“Working with dangerous explosive without me” You said, putting a hand to your chest and putting on a fake sad face “and here I thought we were friends”

“We were planning on inviting you but-” Fred said, suddenly flustered over that he may have hurt your feelings.

“I’m kidding Fred, sheesh what's gotten into you?” You said smiling and shaking your head. “Maybe all that gun power has finally gotten to your head”

“Yeah probably” Fred said, trying to laugh it off.

“Well, I’m off to bed, try to keep it down” You said, before saying goodnight and heading to your room.

“That was painful to watch” George joked, causing Fred to look at him

“How do you mean?” Fred asked

“You’ve got it baaaaad” George said, causing Freds face to heat up before he wacked his younger brother on the shoulder.

“Shut up” Fred said, causing a laugh to erupt from George

After that night George was doing everything in his power to get the two of you together. Leaving the room whenever it was just you three, tripping you so you would fall into Fred, on top of many other things. Sure George thought you two would make a good couple, but to see the flustered look on his brothers face whenever you were near him was enough to keep it going, despite you being completely oblivious to him liking you.

The weekend had finally rolled around, and you and a few friends, including Fred and George, were headed to Hogsmeade to do some shopping and just to have a few hours away from the school grounds.

You were walking with Fred and George, doing some window shopping just as it started to snow.

“Ah shit” You said, looking at the falling particles. You loved the holiday season, but you did not handle cold well. You were already wearing two sweaters and could already feel yourself starting to get cold.

“What's the matter Y/N?” Fred asked, looking down to see you wrapping your arms around yourself.

“Its nothing” you said, trying to seem like it wasn’t a big deal, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out you were cold.

“Speaking of nothing, I need to go get some supplies for some new prototypes, so I’ll leave you to it” George said, quickly parting from the group, but not before sending Fred a quick wink, noticing how George was holding his wand.

“That little” Fred muttered to himself, finally figuring out that George started the snow in the first place.

“What was that?” You said, looking up at Fred, a slight red tint starting to dust over your cheeks as the air got colder. Fred couldn’t help but look a few seconds longer than he should have, thinking about how cute you looked.

“Oh nothing” Fred excused, continuing to walk next you you past the shops. 

After a few more seconds, he noticed your arms wrapping more tightly around yourself, slightly shivering as a particular gust of wind shocked your body with cold. Without thinking, Fred put his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.

You started warming up, his body heat surrounding you almost instantly. You could feel the muscles of his arm underneath the fabric of his sweater as he pulled you even closer to him, causing your face to suddenly heat up. Quidditch practice really had its rewards.

“Is this ok?” Fred asked, noticing your changed expression. you nodded

“Yeah, its actually really nice” you said, wrapping your arm around him as well and leaning your head on his shoulder a bit.

You spent the rest of the day like that, snow falling around the two of you, arms around each other, feeling butterflies swarming your stomach. You had always found the older Weasley twin attractive, but you hadn’t really thought of him romantically until now, and you didn’t completely hate it.

“Warmer yet?” Fred asked, causing you to snap out of your haze.

“Much, thank you” You said, looking at Fred to see a mischievous look on his face. 

“Good” He said, before suddenly plopping a snowball on your head. where had he gotten that?!

“Oh... so this is how its going to be” You said, kneeling down to form your own snowball, picking it up and looking at Fred.

“Now Y/N, lets not get to hasty” He started, before he was dodging a snowball aimed right at his face.

“Get ready to pay Weasley!” you yelled, chasing him, throwing snow balls at each other, laughing the whole time before you suddenly fell flat on your back.

“I cant, I surrender” you said through laughs, trying to catch your breath

“So what you’re saying is that I’m the best snow ball player in the world” Fred said, making you roll your eyes.

“Shut up and help me” You said, holding out your hand for Fred to help you up, but as soon as he grabbed it you pulled him down, causing him to land next to you, causing you both to fall into a fi of laughter.

“That was so evil” Fred said from beside you, after you had both finally composed yourselves.

“Nah you love me” You said, causing Fred to tense a bit beside you at the sudden realization that, he actually might. Before he could say anything tough, you had slapped another snowball to his chest, getting up and running in the opposite direction.

“Race you back!” You said, causing Fred to laugh, before standing and chasing after you, all the while thinking about what the hell he was supposed to do.

The next year you were closer than ever. You had visited each other dozens of times over the summer, and just as you were headed back to school and getting used to the old routine, it was time for the Tri-Wizard tournament. You watched as Fred and George attempted the aging potion, laughing as they both flew back as old men, but also visiting them when they had to go to the hospital wing.

You were in class with Fred, potions once again but this time you two were lab partners. You sat at your desk, talking with Fred about something random when Snape walked in, telling us to open our textbooks and prepare for the lesson.

As you were reading you suddenly felt a piece of paper fall by your hand. You looked at it and then over to Fred, who was already looking at you, nodding to make you open it. you reached for it but before you could open it, the note was snatched out of your hand by Snape.

“No, note passing in class” He said before throwing the note in a trash in the corner.

You looked back at Fred, who glared at Snape as he walked away before bringing his attention back to you. He put his book down and looked to make sure Snape wasn’t looking.

“Do you... want to go to the ball... with me” He mouthed, creating pretending to dance before pointing to himself.

You instantly felt your face heat up. Over the summer your feelings towards Fred had certainly grown, but you didn’t think he would feel the same way about you. You quickly snapped out of your trance though, smiling at Fred and nodding.

“What am I going to do?!” You shouted as you landed face first into your pillow, Angelina and Katie looking at you, rolling their eyes at your dramatics.

“Go to the ball with him you dim whit” Katie said, causing you to glare at her.

“He probably only asked me as a friend anyway” you muttered.

Both Angelina and Katie knew about your crush on Fred. They both also knew Fred had a crush on you, Angelina finding out from George, who was a whole other love story waiting to happen.

“Or... maybe he asked you out because he likes you” Angelina countered.

“I don’t know, I’m just freaking out” You said, sitting up to look at the two girls.

“I have a perfect solution” Katie said, causing both you and Angelina to look at her.

“Y/N, you have a crush on Fred, Angelina, you have a crush on George-”

“I do not-!” Angelina started, before Katie cut her off.

“You do too, now shut it and listen” Katie said. She was pretty close to George and Fred, being on the same quidditch team and all and knew for certain that the twins liked the both of you.

“Angelina, you’re going to go to the ball with George, Y/N with Fred, now if at any point they don't seem interested, you can just ditch and hang out with each other the rest of the ball.” She said, matter of factly.

“That's a stupid plan” You said, earning a pillow to the head.

“It is not! And you wont even need it because they like you you idiots!” Katie said throwing her arms in the air. Literally everyone could see that You and Fred liked each other, except for you two.

“Were doomed” You said, causing both you and Angelina to fall backward onto your beds, Katie rolling her eyes.

Two days later, you were sitting in front of your mirror getting ready for the ball. You had chosen a beautiful blue and silver halter top dress. It hugged your body until it reached your waist when it fanned out a bit. You matched it with some silver shoes that you found comfortable, and had Angelina help you with your hair.

“You look amazing, he’d be stupid not to see that” She said, finishing your hair.

“Says you, you look like a goddess!” you said, looking at her purple dress.

“We all look great now lets go” Katie said impatiently. She had gotten a date from Durmstrang and was excited to say the least. You all shared a laugh before heading out to the ball.

Fred was a nervous wreck waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He was trying not to show it, trying to mask his nerves with his usual goofy attitude but George could see through it.

“You’re going to be fine, chill out already” George said, causing Fred to shoot him a look.

“I’m completely chill! I’m the most chill person in the world, I’m-” Fred’s rambling was cut off when he saw George suddenly looking at the grand staircase behind him. Following his eyes, Fred turned to see Angelina, Katie and you. All he could see was you.

Suddenly all the nerves he had, all the things he practice he was going to say, all the worry, left his head. You were Y/N, you were his best friend, and he couldn’t believe how absolutely head over heels he was for you.

“Good evening sir” You said, doing a little curtsey, causing Fred to smile.

“Madam” He said, doing a deep bow and causing you to laugh. “Shall we” he said, holding out his arm.

“We shall” You said, taking his arm and following him to the ball room.

You spent the whole evening either dancing, or talking when you needed a breather. You would drink punch and people watch, trying to guess what people were saying to each other.

Suddenly the music changed, starting a slow song. You looked at Fred to see he was already looking at you. Wordlessly he held out his hand, causing you to smile while you took it. You walked out to the dance floor and started to sway to the music, suddenly very aware of the feeling of his hand on your waist. 

“You look amazing Y/n” Fred said, leaning down so he could almost whisper it in your ear, causing chills to run down your spine.

“You don’t look to bad yourself” You joked, not wanting to get caught u in the moment and forget that you were only here as friends. Right?

“Can I take you somewhere really fast?” Fred asked. you felt your cheeks heat up at his sincerity but nodded none the less, allowing him to lead you out of the ball room.

He lead you to the outside of the castle. You walked side by side, just taking in the scenery before Fred suddenly stopped, causing you to as well. You had stopped at the bridge, being able to get a full view of the Black lake, the moon reflecting off of it. 

You were too busy looking at the water to notice how Fred was looking at how the moon fell on your face, and made your eyes seem to glow. Or how he felt like he was suddenly seeing you for the first time all over again. Or how badly he wanted to just lean in and-

“Thank you, for asking me to the dance” You said, snapping Fred out of his trance.

“Of course, they ’res nobody id rather go with” He said looking at you, but you refused to meet his eyes.

“I’m sure that's not true. I’m sure there's someone here that you fancy” You said.

Fred looked at you confused. “How do you mean?” He asked.

“George told me that you liked someone... over the summer” You said. Fred mentally face palmed. That idiot! Of course he was talking about you, but Fred guessed George was just trying to get you to confess, which you obviously didn’t.

“Well, yeah... I do like someone” Fred said, an idea coming to mind.

“Oh... well who is she” You said, trying to mask you disappointment.

“Well, she’s in Gryffindor, she’s the absolute funniest person I’ve ever met, she has this smile where you see it and you can’t help but smile yourself, she's able to just walk into class and make the whole room brighter, ya know?” He said, looking down at you, trying to hide the sadness on your face.

“Is it Katie? Because I can talk to her and-” You started

“Oh my god, its you dumbass!” Fred suddenly exclaimed, causing your head to shoot up to meet his eyes.

“Wait, you like me?” You asked, Fred nodding, turning his body and gently grabbing both of your hands, holding them in front of him.

“Yeah, I have since last year” He said. Now it was his turn to not meet your eyes. “I knew I liked you from the moment you turned Snape purple, and ever since I’ve just fallen for every part of you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier, I was just worried that-”

You cut off his rambling, quickly lifting yourself on your tip toes and quickly pressing your lips to his. The kiss lasted less than a second, and you couldn’t read the expression on his face, causing you to panic a bit.

Meanwhile, Fred was wondering if what happened actually happened, or if he suddenly died and went to heaven, he didn’t see your worried expression though.

“I’m sorry, I-” This time Fred cut you off, moving one hand to cup your face while the other went to rest on your hip. You reacted quickly, closing your eyes and moving to wrap your arms to rest around his neck. 

This kiss lasted much longer, the two of you moving in sync as you finally did what he had wanted to do for almost a whole year. After a while you both finally pulled away for air, smiling at each other like idiots.

“I think I might be in love with you” Fred said, causing you to blush

“I think I might be in love with you too” You said, causing you both to laugh a bit before leaning in to reconnect your lips, but not before-

“Its about bloody time!” George shouted, causing the both of you to jump apart, fearing it might have been a teacher, but as soon as you both saw it was only George and Angelina, Fred started fuming while you just laughed.

“No thanks to you, arsehole!” Fred yelled back, causing George to laugh, before you suddenly realized the situation before you.

“Wait what are you two doing out here?” You asked, causing both George and Angelina to stop laughing, a slight tint forming on their faces.

“Well we were just going to... um...” George started, trying to find the words

“We were going to snog” Angelina said bluntly, causing George to look at her with a look of shock on his face, while you and Fred just laughed.

“Well Its about time yourselves then!” You yelled, giving Angelina a quick thumbs up before they left towards the Gryffindor common room.

“How did that not happen sooner, its so obvious they liked each other” You said, shaking your head in mock disappointment.

“completely oblivious, the both of them, couldn’t be us” Fred joked back, making you giggle before reconnecting his lips to yours.

A/N: I'm still in the denial faze of grief because Fred Weasley is my dream man but he doesn't exist, so please feel free to enjoy my coping mechanism :)

[fairymadnessyeah]

Clone High

I rewatched Clone High today, after finishing a fic, and it gave me an idea for a second season, or a reboot season, if it ever happens. Warning: this will have JoanFK shipping in it.

So, in this season, everything is almost the same as the first one. The names of the episodes and what they are about, is all basically the same, except: all the students have a weird sense of deja vu. For example: when the students talk about something that happened last year, they get confused, and they all remember something cold, but they can’t put their finger on it. Mostly they shrug it off. However, feelings don’t disappear, so... Abe is a little more aware of Joan, Cleo wants Abe more, Joan is more hopeless about Abe and developing a weird crush on Kennedy, and JFK the same.

So...

Episode 1

Things go pretty much the same.

The hotline happens, JFK’s ultimatum, and Abe wanting to get Cleo.

But this time, Abe get real alcohol. He vaguely remembers failing to do so before, so he somehow gets real alcohol.

The party goes pretty much the same, and Joan tells Cleo to get with Abe.

But this time, when JFK offers her a drink, she accepts it with the idea to forget this night. She gets a bit tipsy though, and ends up making out with JFK.

The police come, but they take Abe and Gandhi. Joan was nowhere to be seen, since she was making out with JFK at the moment.

Principal Scudworth and Mr. Butlertron crash the party, but only to see what effect would the alcohol make in the clones. 

The fact that the clones lost a year is supposed to be a mystery.

Episode 2

This episode is almost the same.

Except that when Abe takes the sponsor, the brand goes: “Didn’t that kid look familiar? I feel like I have seen him before...”

Joan still goes to JFK, and he is more like: “I uh see you are back for more,”

The episode still continues the same, but at the end, Joan and JFK are seen talking.

“We will never speak about what happend at your party ever again,”

“Why uh not?”

“Because it’s never going to happen again,”

Next scene, both of them come out of a the school with their hair and clothes messed up, and lipstick all over their mouths.

Episode 3

The episode goes the same, but Joan doesn’t end like a speaker.

She instead goes to the Grassy Knol to sorrow in her embarrassment.

Marie Antoinette helps her a little. She tells her that she isn’t confused about her future or her past, but she is confused about her present. 

Also, Scudworth is there to see what the clones remember from the past year. He is happy to find out they don’t remember much.

Episode 4

So, the school film festival, and pretty much is all the same.

Except, Joan’s entry is about her confusion between JFK and Abe.

Lincoln doesn’t get it, but Kennedy does.

Joan, who is tired of Abe’s bullshit, enters a friends with benefits agreements with JFK. He can still be a player, and acts as her stress reliever, or rebound fuck.

Also, Scudworth gets visited by some ministers. They were in charge of the secret board of shadowy figures. They haven’t heard from them in a while, and they are suspicious. Butlertron saves the day, again.

Episode 5

The PJXTs come around and things go like the Episode did.

Except for a moment a moment in which JFK calls Joan ‘Dolphin Tat’. 

Episode 6

So, Joan’s learns about the team not allowing girls or animals on the team by JFK, on one of their meetings. 

She still dotes her incredible disguise, and Cleo still hits on her.

The episode finishes with JFK realizing he is not into guys, he is simply into Joan. He likes her.

Episode 7

Again, the episode goes like the original. But at the end, we see Joan go back to JFK for comfort.

Episode 8

Joan becomes homeless, and moves in with Cleo. They don’t get along, but it’s not as bad, because Joan is moving on from Abe.

Cleo does find out about them, when Joan sneaks out and comes back smelling like JFK’s perfume. She plans on telling the whole school, and things get ugly.

They start fighting, until Joan threatens to publish Cleo’s puberty pictures on the school’s newspaper. They kind of form a truce.

Meanwhile, JFK and Gandhi also fight. Gandhi wants to go spy on the girls, but JFK stops him. Only he get to stare at Joan in a girl on girl action.

Episode 9

This is the episode that completely changes. Not because I don’t like the episode, but because I love it too much to change it.

The episode is still a musical.

Fritz Habers clone (the inventor of the mustard gas) gave out cards that had a mysterius dust in it. It was supposed to be a prank, with the dust making them stink, but something else happened.

The people who opened the cards, started acting like love-sick fools. A few were saved. Gandhi, cause Fritz thinks he already smelled bad. Abe, cause his neck is too long and he didn’t get to smell it. And Cleo, cause Fritz thought he might get with her, if he was the only good smelling dude.

The dust works as a watered-down sex-pollen. It might make you horny, but not to the extent of stripping in the middle of a crowd to have sex. And it makes you blind to everything else but that person.

The first song is the group seeing the student under the dust for the first time. Thing of ‘What’s this?’ from Nightmare Before Christmas, but with love themes. 

What’s this? What’s this? There’s smooshing everywhere.

Fritz finds the group that hadn’t been contaminated, and he explains what happened. They search for a way to create an antidote, and they find a journal that might have the answer, but it’s in french.

They start looking for Joan, who Abe knows hasn’t opened the letter yet. Here come the second song. It’s a version of ‘If you seek Amy’ by Britney Spears.

Oh, oh; Tell me, have you seen her?; Cause we, oh, oh; Don’t know how to speak French!

By the end of the song they find her, she is opening the card. There is a whole slow-motion montage as the dust hits her and the others go: NOOO.

Joan blinks for a few seconds, then looks back at the group, and the next song comes. It’s ‘Girlfriend’ by Avril Lavigne, but instead of saying Girlfriend, it says GirlfriendS. And for a while, they think she is singing it to Abe. But when she is in front of him, she pushes Abe aside, and runs to JFK that was behind them.

I also like to think that the rest of the people around are dancing and doing the chorus every time there is a song.

We cut to Principal Scrubworth, who is looking at all of this from his office. He also sings a song, ‘Crazy=Genius’ by P!ATD. 

While he sings, he dances around his matchines.

Then we go back to the crew who are at the Grassy Knol sad, while the other are all around being happy. Then, Marie Antoinette comes and translates the journal.

The next day, the students come into the school. The last song happens, it’s ‘Walking on sunshine’ by Katrina & the Waves. By the end of the song, the fire alarm goes off, and the sprinkles wet everybody with the antidote.

When they snap out of it, Joan and JFK are embracing. She notices how everybody is staring, and decks him, before leaving.

They break off their arrangement, bc everybody knows now.

Also, Fritz is taken to the frezzer by Principal Scrubworth.

Episode 10

We see Ponce trying to cheer up JFK since Joan rejected him, but he still dies.

I would find it funny if this is a recurring joke. That ponce dies every season, and after a while it becomes a thing of, ‘has he died yet? this is the longest he’s gone- oh no, forget it, he died,’

JFK mourns him. Joan has been avoidig him since the dust incident, so he goes to the other perso he once had for comfort, Cleo.

Abe is mad. He is more annoyed at JFK in here, bc he thinks that he took advantage of Joan. He is actually jealous.

The episode continues the same way, except for the end.

When Abe goes to console him, Joan is already there. He starts feeling something in hid chest.

Episode 11

So, Snowflake day comes. Joan doen’t like the holiday, and Abe needs to get an expensive gift for Cleo.

JFK tries to show Joan how good Snowflake day is, and they go all around town doing things.

JFK is trying to win her over, but Joan is still confused. She likes Kennedy, but she also likes Abe.

She understands the meaning of Snowflake day by the end of the episode, with the help of a trashy celebrity. Maybe a Kardashian?

And she also gets a gift from JFK that he made himself. Since she doesn’t like the consumerism of the holiday.

Abe, on that regard, instead of buying Cleo an expensive gift, he buys her a gift with some extra cash he had. The rest of his money went to buy an expensive gift for Joan. He saw it and thought of her.

It’s nice, but Joan likes JFK’s gift more. Cleo is pissed.

Episode 12

Abe is in thin ice. He has to do an extraordinary promposal to Cleo, but he can’t stop thinking about how Joan has nobody to go with.

The only one who asked her was JFK, and she is thinking about accepting.

He tries to help her get a date for prom, one that isn’t Kennedy.

They go through multiple makeovers, but in the end, Cleo takes matters into her own hands.

If she gets Joan to go with somebody else, then she gets her promposal from Abe and she wins. 

She gives her the same makeover from before, and asks Napoleon to take her.

When Abe sees her, he realizes he might have feelings for her. But she is with Napoleon, so he respects that, It’s better than JFK.

Episode 13

Abe makes his Promposal, and Cleo accepts.

JFK tries to asks Joan again, but before he can, Napoleon interrupts.

They go to prom, and Joan is clearly not having a good time. She isn’t acting like a giggly vapid slut in here, but it’s clear she is not happy.

JFK sees her sad, so he goes to talk to her. She tells him that she misses him, and that she would have accepted his invitation.

Abe sees them talking and tries to stop it, but Cloe jumps him, promising sex.

He leaves with her, but the only thing he can see is Joan.

Meanwhile, Joan got rid of her makeover, and is talking with JFK. He compliments her, telling her he doesn’t need a makeover, and the two kiss.

They agree to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and they go to dance.

Abe come looking for her sees them, but becomes dramatic, and gives a speech about locking himself in the frezzer, to forget all about this.

When he goes to do that, however, he unfrezzes the secret board of shadowy figures.

The season ends there

[toomanyfandoms02]

Birthday // Spencer Reid x Reader

So I got this idea from @darnittumbleweed 's recent post about how grateful Spence must be when he gets gifts and people remember birthdays bc of his mom sadly forgetting them when he was a kid.

Summary - Reader accidentally finds out it's Spencer's birthday and she decides to surprise him with some gifts.

Word count - 2.3k

I adjusted my light purple blazer, tucking it farther into my pencil skirt as I walked through the doors of the bullpen. I was a bit earlier than usual, but I was not surprised to see Spencer already parked at his desk with a book in hand. His feet were propped up on his desk, making his legs look even longer.

The I saw a wallet laying open on the ground, a few feet from his desk.

I kneeled, grabbing the older looking leather wallet from the carpet. I immediately saw Spencer's ID picture sitting in the front clear pocket.

*Sex: M --- Eyes: BRO --- Hgt.: 6' -01'' --- Wgt.: 175 --- DOB: 10/28/1981*

I furrowed my eyebrows at this, that was today's date. Spencer turns 29 today.

I had heard from JJ how private Spencer was about events like this. They just became like any other day to him as he grew up. His mom had not remembered holidays and birthdays from a pretty young age, so he treated them like another regular day too. JJ, and I'm sure Hotch, were the only ones who knew of his birthday. He must have told them to not make a big deal of it, he wasn't much of a partier. Fine then, I wouldn't throw him a party.

"I think you dropped this." I set his wallet on his desk, folded closed. He peeked over his book, eyes widening a bit.

"Oh thanks! Where did you find it?" He say up straighter, laying his book on his desk. I pointed to the ground a few feet away. "Well, thanks again y/l/n." I nodded, heading to my desk.

I shamelessly spent the whole day looking for things to buy for Reid. I was aiming for things from Doctor Who, so I looked up the stock from geek stores in our mall. I had decided on two gifts, and I was going to buy them after work.

My heels clicked loudly on the tile floor of the mall. I was getting frequent stares from passersby as I walked through the crowded halls. I *did* look a little overdressed to be in the mall, but to be completely honest, I was on a mission. And I wasn't going to waste time changing because that would just postpone the time that I would get to see Spencer's smiling face.

I walked into 'ThinkGeek', peering to the back where I saw a Doctor Who section.

"Hiya! Is there something I can help you with." Though the worker didn't show it *clearly* on her face, but I could see the slight confusion in her eyes. Again, I did look a *little* out of place.

"I'm looking for a few specific things that I checked your guys' stock for with the help of a friend."

"Only workers can check our in store stock here. Are you Sarah's friend?" She gestured to a lady at the counter with bright pink hair.

"Uh, no." I slowly pulled out my FBI credentials and discreetly showed them to her. "I had our tech analyst check for me because I need these gifts for a friend." She nodded in understanding, looking just a bit frightened. I explained to her what I needed and she took me to the items. It wasn't long until I was being rung up.

"That'll be $31.82." I slid her the money. "This is a gift right? Do you want it wrapped? We wrap for an extra 2 bucks."

"That would be awesome!" I put two more dollars on the counter.

"So," she tied the bow on the first present, "is this for a boyfriend?" I blushed and narrowed my eyes a bit. She put her hands up in surrender, "Or girlfriend?" I sighed a bit with a laugh.

"No no, he's a coworker."

"Some coworker he must be if you're spending," she peered at my receipt, "nearly 34 dollars on him. A birthday I'm guessing?"

"Are you trying to profile me?" I asked, quirking my eyebrow.

"Are you trying to profile *me*?"

"Fair enough." I laughed. She slid me the boxes and handed me my receipt. "Thank you for wrapping these."

"Get that man boo!" She shouted as I left the store. I gave her a firm thumbs up and started heading to my car so I could give these to the man in question.

That was until I forgot about a card.

I turned back into the mall and went into Barnes and Noble. I quickly had a worker direct me towards the cards and I found a perfect one with a Tardis that said 'All the time-travel in the world won't make you any younger.'

I giggled and brought it up to the register.

"Is it this special someone's birthday *today*?" I nodded. "Well I have a coupon for a free cupcake from our cafe." She slid me the thin piece of paper.

"Thank you so much!" I grabbed the card and headed to the cafe and getting him a vanilla cupcake. After all of that, I was finally, *actually*, heading to Spencer's.

I pulled into his apartments parking lot, unbuckling and gathering the gifts. I took the stairs up to apartment 23 and knocked on the door. I heard slow footsteps approach the door and stop for a moment. I assumed he was looking through the peep hole so I hid the presents behind me, skillfully stacked onto one hand and waved. He opened the door immediately.

"Hey y/n! What are you doing here? And what's behind your back?" He tried to look over my shoulders, which wasn't hard to do with his towering frame. I backed up into the stairs railing so he couldn't see.

"You promise you won't be mad if I tell you?" I could see worry cross his features.

"That depends. But it's hard to stay mad at you." His face softened.

"Ok well," I pulled the small boxes and card from behind me, "happy birthday."

His eyes widened, and then, unexpectedly, a giant grin spread across his lips.

"How did you know?"

"When I picked your wallet up, I saw your ID. So, I decided to get you a couple things." He ushered me in the house as I handed him the card. He smiled even bigger, reading the card.

"You remembered that I like Doctor Who?"

"Okay, first of all, who doesn't know you like Doctor Who? And two, I remember a lot of things about you, nerd." I elbowed his side lightly. He gestured for me to sit on his couch with him as I handed him the boxes wrapped in white wrapping and blue bows, along with the clear box with the cupcake in it.

"Thank you for the cupcake." He chuckled.

"Yeah! The chick at the counter gave me a coupon for it." I smiled.

He opened the thinner, longer box first. I revealed a Tardis tie.

"Y/n-"

"I didn't think you had a tie like that so as soon as I saw it I knew I had to get it. I'm sorry if you already have one."

"Y/n, this is so cool! Where did you get it?" He pulled it from the box and looked at it closer. He was already loosening his current tie to try it on.

"It's a store in the mall, ThinkGeek. They've got a lot of nerdy stuff there. It's where I get my Harry Potter stuff." I blushed a bit, having just revealed a nerdy part of me that I didn't tell many people about.

"I love it!" He was now standing in front of a mirror, tightening it around his neck and smiling like a little kid who just got a puppy. He came back to the couch, leaving it on and tearing the wrapping on the second one. It was a Tardis mug.

"And you were talking about how we didn't have enough mugs at the office, so I thought you could have your own. Plus, everyone will know it's yours."

He stared into the mug with a look that I couldn't exactly read.

*Did I trigger a bad memory?*

Right as I thought that, he looked up at me with the same expression. All I could tell was, whatever he was trying to express, it was behind those honey brown eyes. ~~the ones I was always getting lost in~~ He set the mug on the coffee table and leaned towards me.

He hugged me.

He hugged me tighter than I have ever been hugged.

I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him back. I could have sat like that forever, but we sat for probably half a minute.

"I thought you didn't like hugs."

"I don't usually, but, I don't know." He looked down at his hands, quite literally twiddling his thumbs. "This just, means a lot to me. I didn't think someone paid enough attention to me to not only get me things from my favorite show, but things that I have mentioned randomly in a conversation." He looked up in realization, and now my heart was pumping *way* too fast. "You *like* me, don't you?" My eyes widened to, I'm sure, the size of the mug I had gotten him.

"What? Uh, no. I just thought, you just never, no."

"Yes! Yes you do!" He stood up smiling at me, like he just had a *massive* breakthrough. "Look, you're blushing, that's involuntary sign of attraction. And you haven't broken eye contact with me this whole time! Even though you want to. And you're talking in a lower pitch than usual. A person will change the tone and pitch of their voice when speaking to someone they’re attracted to. Specifically, women tend to lower their vocal tone when around an attractive person. You have been fidgeting this whole time."

I could feel my face get hotter and hotter with everything he pointed out. I felt extremely vulnerable. My face was not only involuntarily blushing, it was involuntarily making quite the frightened face. I realized this when he put his hands up in surrender and his face softened from the smug grin that was previously plastered to it.

"Oh! Are you okay?" He leaned over his coffee table at me and I leaned farther into his couch. He smiled again, "Do you not understand what I'm getting at?" He looked at me slightly dumbfounded.

"That I like you? Yeah I got it!" I snapped a bit. He closed his eyes and shook his head slightly.

"I do the exact some things." I squinted my eyes at him. "Do you not notice how *neither* of us ever break eye contact? I was just sitting next to you, fidgeting with my hands. You probably think my cheeks are naturally flushed, but that's just when I'm around you. I constantly catch myself lowering my voice when I'm having conversations with you. Some profilers we are, huh?" I smiled and leaned towards him, grabbing his face.

"Yeah, well, we aren't suppose to profile eachother anyway, cheater." I giggled, pulling him into a kiss. He grabbed the back of my neck deepening it.

"Giggling a lot from a woman is also a sign of attraction." He mumbled between kisses. I pulled apart from him with another giggle. He raised his eyebrows as I confirmed his theory.

"Whatever nerd." I pushed his chest.

"Seriously, thank you so much." He hugged me again. At this point we were both just standing in front of his coffee table. "I'm glad you found out it was my birthday today, because I'm not sure when I would have the courage for any of that again." He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Well you don't have to worry about that anymore. You have me now." His eyes lit up at that, kissing me again. We both smiled into the kiss, pulling eachother impossibly close. "I've gotta get home and feed my cat." I backed out from the kiss, watching him slightly follow, in hopes of another kiss.

"Are you free after work tomorrow?" He asked hopefully.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Dinner? Or we can watch a movie here?"

"How about both?" I winked.

"Perfect!" He pecked my lips one more time as I walked out the door. Just as it shut behind me I heard a not so quiet.

"Yes! Finally dumbass!" From him.

I giggled again as I walked down the stairs.

*What a convenient day for him to drop his wallett*

BONUS:

The next day I walked in to see Spencer drinking from his new mug and wearing his tie, paired with a regular white button up. I walked by his desk, tapping on the mugs rim.

"Nice mug." I winked and kept walking to my desk. He looked down at the coffee with a giddy smile.

"**I knew it! I knew it! Give me the money JJ you *loser**!" I heard Derek screech from the other side of the room. JJ rolled her eyes and handed him a ten. "My man's has got game!" He slapped a hand on Spencer's back.

"You guys couldn't have waited one more month?" JJ asked with a very annoyed expression.

"It's your guys fault for betting on us." I held my hands in surrender. Penelope then emerged from her office.

"Yay! Finally! Did you get him the tie and mug?! I adore it!" She hugged me from behind and placed a kiss on my cheek.

*This is my family*

[blackssuunn-mandoandyodito]

Big dreams, expensive taste

Part three: The king of the concrete jungle

Maxwell Lord x f!reader

You can find the other parts in my Masterlist.

Rating: M

Warnings: oral sex (f receiving), anger, swear words, mild sexual harrasment, sex, no condom (PLEASE USE ONE, SAFE SEX IS HAPPY SEX), maybe power kink?. Let me know if you think I should add something.

A/N: I am once again asking you to picture this gif as Maxwell, bc there is little to no content of him and I gotta work with what we do have. Enjoy this bc I fucking loved it.

Summary: your dynamic with Maxwell changes as the weeks pass, coming to a point you both had seen coming. And it goes even better than you expected.

You turned out to be even more efficient than Maxwell thought you would be.

Every time he asked for something, you already had it available. If he wanted something to be done, it had been done already. You answered his questions even before he asked, knowing what he would say just by looking at his face. You were punctual. You were organized. You were perfect.

He kept on wondering if you were always like that or if it was only while you worked for him. He's been so efficient these last days he wishes you had stopped him from entering his own building months ago. 

He rolls the golden ring on his index finger as he looks at you, moving around the board room table with stacks of paper in your arms. There's a crease between your eyebrows that he has noticed appears only when you're concentrated or nervous. This time, you're most likely both.

He ordered you to schedule a meeting with the soon to be associates in London, to arrange a partnership he had the second he met them, but they've been playing hard to get. It's been bothering him so much he's been tenser and more snappy, and he doesn't know how to let it all out, it's just getting worse with every second that goes. But if he's being honest with himself, he has never snapped at you for fear of you resigning. You don't handle bullshit from anyone, he knew that the second he saw you. 

And if he's honest with himself again, he'd love to take the stress out with you.

He has been wanting to take you so bad for weeks, walking on to his office and getting a hard-on almost instantly when he looks at you is getting old now, having to stay in his chair until some gross thought he conjures scares it away. It's painful, seeing you walk around his office and go back to yours without being able to do anything. The way you move as if you own the place, knowing how every single thing works and understanding everything so easily. It makes him burn, how in control you seem to be.

He wants to see you lose it, that's mainly what's killing him. 

You walk towards him and stand in front of his desk, gripping your black leather portfolio with stretched knuckles. "Everything is ready, sir"

He nods, smirking at you with his head tilted to one side. "You need to relax," your face breaks out of the calm demeanor for a second, annoyed with his words. He can see you want to say something, but you purse your lips and nod. It sends something running down his spine, seeing you break for a second. It just increases his desire.

"15 minutes," he mutters, checking his F. P. Journe watch and stands up, smoothing his black suit and crossing his arms. You nod again, walking outside and talking with Amanda one last time to check everything is right. He has no doubt you have everything perfectly sorted out, with no room for mistake. And he also knows he will be able to close the deal, but these men can be hard to handle. They're little old money pricks. He hates old money.

You come back and he moves to his chair on the board room table, quickly giving everything a last look over. He's pleased to see all is where it's supposed to be. Content with your work, he leans against his chair and waits. 

He can hear his watch ticking in the silence of the room. You come to stand beside him, both of you looking straight to the door, waiting. He breathes deeply, feeling how the nervousness comes off of you in waves. But it doesn't show on your face, nor your posture. How you manage, he doesn't know. 

Multiple footsteps sound outside the office, with formal greetings to Amanda as she lets them inside.

Maxwell straightens, putting the businessman face mask on. His face turns serious, with square shoulders and hard eyes that pierce through the 5 men that enter the room. Their posture is too proper, high on their golden breed, and thinking that everything they touch has a blessing seems to be the way they act. 

Two of them are blonde, with cocky smiles and blue eyes that seem almost fake. They're taller than Max, but it doesn't intimidate him. If anything, he raises an eyebrow and scoffs quietly, turning to look at you. Now you can also see amusement in his eyes. He's going to handle them just fine.

The other three are brunette, with tanned skin possibly caused by holidays spent in the summer of some Mediterranean land, and green eyes that seem to shine with malice. They look like siblings, but one of them towers over the others. He seems as conceited as the other ones, looking older and more experienced just by how serious he tries to act, and it does a bad job at hiding how spoiled he must have grown up. You see right through his facade and would bet anything on Maxwell being able to do so too. 

The shorter one, with cutting cheekbones and sharp nose, looks at you and smirks, winking. You stop yourself from rolling your eyes and don't make anything to return the attention. 

"Good evening, Mr. Lord", the one that seems older gets closer, extending his arm and gripping him in a handshake. Max nods, looking him straight in the eye. The other four go silent when the room gets stuffy, tension seeping from their pores. You stay by his side.

"Good evening, Mr. Reuben." Maxwell turns to look at the table, gesturing for them to sit. They comply, walking to take a seat. He notices how they try to choose a chair that isn't close to the glass window, and both of you have to repress a smirk.

The meeting starts, with Maxwell quickly wrapping them in an engaging talk about gains and expansion. Your cheeks get hot and your insides heat up at seeing Maxwell's power take over five grown men, handling them in whichever way he desires. Knowing you have helped him this time makes you feel like flying. You feel like a queen next to a king taking over a kingdom, using only words as a weapon.

  He looks at you every time he needs you to do something, without saying anything and silently communicating his wishes. All men look at each other and seem quietly amazed by your interactions, how he doesn't seem to order you but rather ask you for things. It is never condescending or disrespectful, so fluid and easy it takes their breath away. You work together, even though it may seem you work for him.

You see the exact second Maxwell has them wrapped around his finger. They are absolutely engrossed by him, listening to everything he says and not looking away, following him around the room. They all look like children looking for the first time at a magic trick. He turns to you and smirks with a predatory smile, absolutely convinced that he has already won the deal. Judging by the state of all five of them, he surely has. 

For the first time since they appeared, you show something other than seriousness and smile back at him, something like pride and satisfaction showing in your eyes. It makes his heart jump.

The contract passes through their hands as they sign, not hesitating and trusting completely on Max to take care of what they are signing into. You don't understand how, and it scares you slightly how easy it is for him to entangle people. You wonder if he has ever done something like that to you, if he ever would.

Amanda comes inside right on time to pour some expensive wine in glasses you don't even know where they came from, making a toast and drinking happily. Max exudes satisfaction, grinning behind the glass. 

They all stand up and shake hands one last time before they leave again. All stress and tension leave your body slowly, knowing that no matter what happens now, Maxwell has his deal secured.

But as they start walking outside, the one that winked at you turns and gets uncomfortably close to your body.

"Miss" his voice is so high pitched it nearly hurts your ears, "would you be interested in going out with me?"

His hand creeps up your arm and ends up next to your neck, barely stopping from touching your face. 

You have to stop yourself from recoiling, instead shaking your head and smiling politely.

"Thank you, but I'm not interested."

The man chuckles, rolling his eyes and turning to leave.

"I should have guessed," he mutters, fixing his tie. "You're just another cheap bitch"

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Max's blood boils in his veins, fury making his skin crawl and his eyes burn. For a moment, his vision turns red. 

When he moves to pull him back and beat him up, your hand firmly but softly stops him.

"If you want to think that, you may," your voice is so steady and cold Max looks at you, stunned. " It does not mean it's true, and even if it were it would not make you any less of a spoiled brat who can't get anything without forcing someone into it. You disgust me."

Without another word, you let go of Maxwell's hand and turn to walk to your office. Both of them look at you, open-mouthed. 

Fury still pumps in Max's veins, but he takes a deep breath and tries to repress the violence that threatens to show. Even if he decided to take that path, he won't get his hands dirty.

He turns to look at the man, with a hurricane inside his heart and what could be lava shining in his eyes.

"I hope you have enough of the old money you grew with," he threatens, whispering so low the other four go completely unaware. "because I assure you you won't be making any in this life"

It scares him back against the door, nodding without being able to speak. He's gone pale, and his hands look like they're shaking.

Good, Maxwell thinks.

He looks at him practically run away from his office, shutting the door behind him. He can feel how his body is tense, but he urges it to relax. 

He feels hot, burning. Rage is not something he feels often, used to have everything working the way he wants. And usually, not a single person is stupid enough to mess with something or someone that matters to him. 

He turns to look at your office, and there's no sound coming from inside. He doubts you're affected by everything that just happened, but he definitely is. 

His hand goes over his face, angry. His rings feel cold against his skin, grounding him more. 

With a deep breath, he walks slowly to your office and knocks, saying your name.

"Can I come in?" he brings his hand to his pocket, waiting for your answer almost nervous. He's not used to feeling like this, but you do something to him. He fears it will be one false move and you're gone. He doesn't want you to go.

Your door opens, and you appear very serious but for him, that's nothing new. What surprises him is how your hands seem to be shaking slightly.

Without a word, you move to the side and let him in, leaving the door open. He walks inside and stands there, awkward, and not knowing what to say. If he asks you if you're okay he's sure you won't like it, so after a few seconds of searching what to say and not finding any good options, he stays quiet and waits for you to speak first. 

"I'm okay, in case you're wondering." It startles him how well you can read him. "And thank you for defending me."

It takes him a moment to remember you can see outside through the glass but he can't. Weirdly, the thought sounds similar to the way you two seem to work. 

He nods. "You don't have to thank me, it's the least I could do."

He sees surprise in your eyes, but it doesn't show anywhere else on your face. 

The air is thick, heavy. There is something that is pushing him to get closer to you, to physically check if you're really okay. He knows the man didn't touch you and he's sure he would have made him bleed if he had dared to, but there are other ways to shake someone other than physical.

You cross your arms and turn away from him, looking down at the city. He admires your body, your posture. How strong you seem to stand, how unreachable you look. And he's used to fighting for what he wants if that's what it takes, but he doesn't want to fight for you. He wants you to want him back, to really want him. 

Judging by the signals he has seen the last weeks, you most likely do. But he's not gonna take anything for granted.

Slowly, he moves closer to you until his body is perfectly aligned with yours but without touching. His breath hits hard against the back of your head, sending shivers down your spine. You close your eyes, subconsciously moving your head to one side and letting him see more of your soft skin. You uncross your arms, letting them hang by your sides. 

One of his hands moves up and hovers over your shoulders while the other gets close to your hand, so close you can almost feel his touch. It's an illusion, you know it.

He whispers beside your ear. "Is this okay?"

You gulp, not daring to open your eyes when you nod.

"Say it." His voice sounds commanding.

"You can touch me." You finally mutter. A shaky breath leaves your lips when he laces his fingers with yours, pressing your shoulder and pulling you back against him. You're flush against him now, feeling his chest rise and fall against your back. 

His fingers move to your neck, caressing at the pace his mouth kisses the beginning of your spine. He can feel you fall back into him slightly, relaxing and letting him take control.

A mischievous smile graces his lips.

He turns you around to face him. His hands move to your back, down until they come to cup your butt. It makes you gasp, opening your eyes to look at his blown brown ones. 

He's torn between being rough, wrecking you completely, or listening to something inside his mind that tells him he should be good to you first, make you see stars just from his touch.

He decides to listen to it.

"I want to show you how you should be taken care of," he whispers, "can I?"

You're speechless, only able to look at him and nod. He doesn't seem to like it, pulling you harder against his body and digging his fingers in your skin.

"Speak" he orders. "I won't do anything if you don't."

You take in a harsh breath, feeling the air burn your lungs. "Show me."

Pleased with your answer, he grabs your jaw and presses his lips against yours at the same time you move your hands to his chest. The fabric  of his suit crumples under your fingers as he licks your lips and takes over your mouth, your heart soaring inside your body.

His hands move to push you back until you hit your desk, making you fall into it slightly. Your kiss breaks, leaving you breathless.

His knees hit the floor with a dull sound. If someone had told you before that you would have Maxwell Lord kneeling for you, you would have laughed to tears.

His hands move frantically up your legs until he touches the edge of your dress and rips it open, pulling it until it's completely in half and falls over your shoulders like a jacket, leaving your body exposed. 

If you weren't so turned on, you would probably complain. Your mind is in a completely different space though.

His fingers search until they find the elastic of your underwear and he's greeted by lace that matches your bra covering your skin. He rips them open too.

He nudges you to sit on the desk. You comply, and he pushes your feet up on it, with your legs spread open for him and your knees bent. Your heels fall off from your feet.

He caresses your legs, your thighs, sending goosebumps over your skin.

"You're so beautiful," he mouths against your body, trailing up to your core. You look down at him, threading your fingers through his hair.

You shudder as he kisses the skin around your mound, licking at everything. You get wetter by the second, aching for his touch 

"Take care of me," you moan, thrusting into his mouth. It makes him chuckle, and he finally moves to lick with his tongue flat against your clit.

You throw your head back, moaning and squeezing your eyes shut. His tongue thrusts inside you with vigor, pulling you closer by your legs. His lips wrap around your clit and he sucks hard, making you give a short yell that echoes around the room. 

"You like it?" He asks, with a rough voice that makes the arousal go even higher. 

"Y-yes," you manage to stutter out, afraid that he will stop if you don't answer.

His thumb moves your bundle of nerves in circles, making your hips rise. He quickly slaps the side of your leg, stilling you.

You gasp, feeling your body tingle with everything he does. The position you are in leaves you exposed to him, and you can see out your window to the city. If the building was less high, you know anyone could look and see how Maxwell Lord is kneeling to pleasure you. The thought sends a shot of power and excitement through your system.

He laps at your soft skin, sucking up at your wetness and enjoying every second of it. Your hand pulls at his hair, pulling a moan out of his mouth.

His lips are red when he moves to suck at your swollen clit again, groaning and sending the vibration all over your body. 

You grind against his face desperately when the hotness spreads down your belly, making you feel near the edge. He increases his movements for a second, moving one finger up your slit before pulling away and stopping.

You whimper at the loss of contact, but he stands up to stay between your legs and moves his hands up to cup your breasts through the material. You bite your lip, your eyes rolling back into your head as his fingers get behind and open your bra. He quickly grabs one of your nipples and pinches it, kneading your skin with his palm.

His mouth wraps around the other one and sucks with force, sending electric shots over your breast. He rolls your nipple around with his tongue, getting it hard.

You can feel his erection through his pants and decide you've neglected him enough, fumbling with his belt and popping it open easily.

He moans against your skin when your hand moves inside to grip at his dick, moving your thumb over the head covered with pre come. He's hard enough to cut diamonds.

"Please," you moan. 

He breaks away from your breast with a wet pop, his lips glistening with spit. 

"Please what?" His voice sounds even rougher than before, with full blown pupils almost to the point that you can't see the brown of his eyes anymore.

He can see something take over you just as your hand tightens around his shaft, making him give a choked off moan.

"Fuck me." you say. It almost sounds like an order, and if it were he wouldn't mind.

He gulps, not trusting his voice to keep steady. He pushes his pants down and they fall to the floor to pool around his ankles.

He aligns his cock with your entrance, pushing the head in only slightly before he pulls away and then does it again.

A needy sound leaves your lips, and he aches to hear more. But he said he would take care of you, and that's what he's gonna do.

He pushes his throbbing length inside you, making you feel every inch with how slow he's going. You grip his shoulders, digging your nails on his skin and most likely leaving marks. 

He's stretching you so good and feels so deep inside you in this position you can't help but whimper, burying your face against his neck. His hands move to cup your ass again, pulling your hips closer to him. 

Your legs burn from the stretch, but you could not move even if you wanted.

He lets his whole body take over you, making you feel so protected and full it is nearly overwhelming.

His hands dig against your skin with a bruising force as he starts to move inside you, making you feel high on something you don't think you've ever experienced before.

"You're so fucking tight." He gritts out next to your ear. It makes you smile, how much he seems to be struggling to control himself.

You rise your face to look at him, holding his face and pulling him close to kiss him.

His pace quickens, slapping sounds filling the office along with grunts and moans that leave both your lips. 

You scream again when he hits an specific spot inside you, and something close to a growl leaves his chest. 

He moves to bite a mark in your neck, leaving his teeth printed there. 

Every thrust sends you closer to paradise, pushing and pulling and making everything feel bigger, better. 

He's hot against you, sweating and making little sounds that make your arousal grow.

You wish you could return his passion, thrust back and make him feel how good everything he's doing is. But you can't, you can barely stay upright with how much force he's putting into every thrust.

Something primal burns inside him at seeing how you submit to him, to how he treats you. 

His movements become harder, shorter. He starts losing his pace and you know he's close too.  His hand moves to circle your clit with his fingers, making you open your mouth in a silent scream.

"Come for me," Maxwell's voice comes with lighting passion that leaves you no option but listen to him.

You scream, pulling at his jacket with shaking legs as he keeps fucking you, and his ragged breath lets you know he's not too far behind. 

A deep yell leaves his lips as he comes inside you, burying himself deep until the waves of hot white pleasure start to subside.

When your body stops shaking, he pulls out and moves to grab tissues to clean himself up.

You don't move, trying to catch your breath. He doesn't say anything, just pulls his pants up and kneels down to lick you clean.

You're still sensitive, so your body tries to get away from the attention but he stops you, holding you by your feet. Little whines leave your mouth as he keeps going until you're clean, sending a new wave of arousal at the thought of Max tasting himself in you.

He stands up, buttoning his jacket closed and looking far more composed than you.

His voice betrays him. "Do you have clean clothes here?"

It sounds so soft and caring it makes you feel weird, but you nod. 

"Good," he says, moving to the door and stepping outside to leave you to dress alone, closing the door behind him. You see a satisfied smile show at his face as he sits down on his throne, spreading his legs open.

Your brain is still fuzzy from pleasure and there's a loopy smile on your face, but as you take out the dress and put it on you hear Amanda come inside and get close to his desk with an anxious expression.

"Sir, you have to go pick up Alex," her voice sounds too stressed. You frown, not recognizing the name.

A somber expression takes over Maxwell's features and he stands up immediately, not saying anything as he picks up his phone and rushes out of the office.

You stay standing there paralized in the middle of your office, confused by how things happened so fast in the last two minutes.

What could be so important for Max to run away without saying anything and just after giving you the best orgasm in your life?

Big Dreams taglist: @evidenceofzoe @the-feckless-wonder @aeryntheofficial @cryptkeepersoul @cable-kenobi @fruitsaladtrees @poenariuniverse @a-killvr-queen

[dameronology]

circles

this isn’t fan fiction -- it’s just something i wrote out of boredom bc i was in my feels and want to have a lil catharsis 

The break-up was hard.

Expected, yes. A long time coming, even more so. But easy? No. Not in the slightest. 

It had been building up slowly but surely for the better part of two years, seeping into the little cracks in their foundations and steadily making them deeper. What had started as minor annoyances and tolerable grievances had blown into unbearable pain, suffocating what little they had left until it had withered away and died completely. The hardest part, perhaps, was that it didn’t make sense. They had worked so well at one point - taken random getaway breaks on weekends just because, went for spontaneous drives at 3AM just to listen to the Killers’ new album for the twentieth time, got drunk and gave each other the most ridiculous hand poked tattoos. Everything that had made them so good existed solely under the joy of their heyday, basking in the glow of how easy it had been to be so young and stupid. 

Nothing had mattered. There hadn’t been a single worry in the world. No pressure to settle down, no pressure to be an adult just yet or to take anything too seriously. The fact they were completely different people is what had made it so good, so fun. The perfect balance of vulnerability and stupidity; fragility and naivety. She’d existed solely for him and he lived entirely for her; the centre of one another’s orbit, gravitating around one another in circles, toing and froing in the best way possible. 

That was the problem: circles. 

Months turned into years, and soon their young adulthood stretched into their mid twenties, early thirties. The issue of their difference was easily ignored by domestic routine; working long hours, focusing on promotions, paying off their college debt. They found a nice house on the outskirts of Philadelphia - two bedrooms and a big garden. He had said the second room was perfect for kids, and she’d commented on what a perfect home office it would have made. They’d laughed it off. That was something they’d become good at it; making a joke out of red flags, passing them off as if they were tiny quirks. 

That was the beginning of the circles. Waking up early, working all day, coming home late. Having a date night every Saturday with less-than-stellar sex, because that’s what Cosmopolitan had promised would keep the spark alive. Every other one of their friends had broken up with their respective college partner; some had gotten married, some had kids, some had gotten divorced, some had gone to prison. Meanwhile, they’d stayed entirely the same. What was it he’d said about it? We’ve just matured. 

It was on the way home from his dad’s 60th birthday party that he’d brought up the idea of a future. Not just a future, but the future. Marriage, kids, mortgages, all the long term stuff that should have been expected when you’d been in a relationship as long as they had. What had it been? Ten years, maybe. It wasn’t unfair of him to expect it from her, or at least to see it reasonable that they have the conversation. She’d nervously laughed it off, making a joke about how their five-year-old rescue dog was close enough. He’d smiled at her terrible joke, before dropping the conversation entirely. 

Circles, again. 

A cycle of him broaching a subject of the future, and her making a bad joke to dodge it. Everyone around them was upsizing houses and getting married - or remarried - and having their second, third, fourth child. The world around them was going at a thousand miles an hour and yet, she refused to take her foot off the brake. Nothing about them had changed. She saw it as a good thing. He couldn’t stand it. 

That was the beginning of their descent. They’d both realised that they were too different to possibly keep their worlds intertwined; whilst they’d once gravitated towards each other, they now polarised. The issue laid in the difference between knowing things were bad and admitting things were bad. Their relationship was so familiar - so constant and steady. It had become a comfort blanket for them both. They’d made a habit of holding onto the promises they’d made as twenty-somethings, perhaps forgetting that the people who had those pledges all those years ago weren’t the same ones who were trying so hard to keep them. 

It had taken a pregnancy scare for them to realise it. When there was only one line in the window of the test, she’d been relieved. He’d been gutted. Their simultaneous sigh of relief and we can try again next month was a testament to the bigger picture; a testament to the different things they so desperately wanted. A career woman and a family man, together only because of their love for another. There came a point where they had to ask themselves if it was enough, if their feelings were enough common ground to justify staying together.

They could have compromised. Instead of the three kids he wanted, they could have had one. She could have worked less and he could have stayed at home with their hypothetical children. Isn’t what relationships were about? Compromise. But, that probably applied to what colour you painted the kitchen, or whose parents you went to for Christmas. Not fundamental things like how many kids you had, or where you lived, or things that you needed to be happy. 

That was probably the bit that hurt the most. She needed a high-pressure job and career satisfaction to be happy. He needed a domestic life and kids of his own. There was nothing wrong either of those things, but there was something missing from their respective lists: each other. 

The break-up itself wasn’t the hardest part, nor was telling their families or cancelling the holiday they had booked for the following year. The grief and shock didn’t truly hit them until they were packing their respective belongings.

Stood on opposite sides of the bedroom, metres feelings like miles. The air between them was thick with tension; unanswered questions and what-ifs. What if we just tried a little harder and what if this was supposed to be it? All questions that neither of them dared answer, for fear of going back on the decision. The trepidation of leaving behind what they’d thought was going to be forever was already swallowing them whole; eating them alive and consuming their entire beings with memories of lost laughter and sweet memories. They were packing up the bedroom that they’d shared for almost a decade, stripping the four walls of bittersweet conversations and forced destiny. 

They took the photos off the walls. Ones of them in Paris, ones of them in New York, ones of them in London; all younger, past versions of themselves, before the glow in their eyes had been dimmed by the revelation of dull reality. False promises of domestic bliss that lead to false hopes of happiness; a sad reminder of a better time, when they hadn’t realised that forever would never quite come to fruition . All gone now. All laid to rest, surrounded by bubble wrap and forced into a storage unit downtown that they’d half-heartedly agreed to go halves on. 

The house was sold quickly - something the estate agent had told them was lucky. Nothing about the situation felt lucky, but having the weight of the shared property off their shoulders took the burden off of everything a little. The extra money was good too. She moved back to the city and invested in a loft, whilst he purchased an almost-identical house to their old one, just a few streets away. She had a balcony and he had a backyard. 

A few more years went by, and they both got what they wanted. She made partner at her firm and started to earn triple figures, reaping the rewards of her hard work and playing in the big leagues. He found a nice, simple woman and got married, eventually having three kids, all with chubby cheeks and toothy smiles. Letting go of another had been the best thing they’d ever done; their relationship had tied them down, forced them to give up what they wanted because staying was easier than going.

Almost six years to the day that they broke up, they passed one another in the street. She was just leaving a meeting, and he’d taken his family into the city to watch a game. It was on Fifth Street, not far away from the first apartment they rented together. Their eyes met - strange eyes, but ones they each remembered so vividly - and they smiled. Nothing was said. Nothing had to be said. They were whey they needed to be.

[ih8paris]

i hate paris

Do people still use tumblr? I’m so old. And I never used it. I don’t keep up with the times. I don’t give a shit. You know what? It all passes. Except facebook. They made a deal with the devil and really, was it worth it? I use facebook. I live in Paris and there are these groups for women, expats, cheap people like me that want free yoga. That’s what I use it for. And news. BBC CNN ABC NBC MSNBC, you get it and the posts. They report what the people supposedly want, but then we can see what the people are actually saying. Donald Trump won’t win? Look at voices talking? Look at the little people. It looked like he was going to win. What do you know, he did. But what if he had lost. What if Hilary didn’t get a handle on COVID and then Donald won in 2020? We would all be so fucked right now. Maybe we already are. Anyway, I’m not here to talk politics. I’m here to process my life choices and see if there were signs that I was making HUGE mistake. 

So here’s the thing. I’m a bit untraditional. Growing up was shit. Chuck left and made sure to shit all over everything before he did. And the whole get married in your 20′s have babies get divorced get remarried have more kids bc hey you’re not old at 30 and this is the guy you actually wanted to have kids with. I rant but you get it. Traditional not for me. Also not traditional, i have some money. This money has paid for college, pastry school and yes this wonderful covid filled experience in paris: the city that hates me. I’m fortunate. I don’t live lavishly. It’s not that much money. I grew up poor, I pinch pennies. Then i do exciting things. Or maybe challenging things? I am fortunate and grateful. And guilt filled. I am given this gift and shit it away, trying make something out of this paris experience. It’s like a bad relationship where i keep begging to give it one more change. It will get better. I’m a fucking idiot. So here I am, you know third times the charm, right? Back in paris. Vaccinated. I’ve made connections with people. I feel confident that this will not be a waste. It will be fun. It will be educational. I will network. Gain experiences. Omg learn so much. Be able to travel. OH the hopes and delusions i had. But maybe we should start from the beginning. 

Omg, which beginning. Paris, i guess, we can go back further when the moment calls. So 30 is approaching. I’ve moved back home. That’s story for another time. Remember my life is not traditional. So I’m home to help out and idk try to figure out what the fuck i want to do with my life. See the big mistake i made in my 20s was listening to people i don’t admire. i graduate with an art degree. my college exit interview said i am qualified to work at a bank or Kraft foods. no connects, recommendations. No direct. And my family keeps talking about getting a job, benefits, 401k. At one point a little later on, my grandpa was pushing for me to go into service. Sorry gramps, they don’t want me. My education was good. I learned a lot. They had good resources and a lot. But then nothings. So i worked at a bakery. I worked hard at this bakery. For more than a few months i worked 7 days a week. I didn’t have a life. i had money. Money i made. And apparently that was the most important thing, from the talks i keep getting from my family. And of course i wasn’t earning enough, so needed to work harder and climb the ladder. There is no ladder in a bakery. Whatever, I rant again. We’ll come back to this. 

So 30. It’s looming. I’ve thought about grad school. The money I mentioned earlier. It’s had time to grow. The GRE expires after 5 years, not that i took it but 7 years after I graduated, i wasn’t taking it. So Europe. Europe is artsy. I would like to make good money, enjoy the work okay, but mostly make good money with the least amount of actual work. So teaching. My mom teaches. Computer programing. She’s the head of the department. She fucking hates it. The dude that was suppose to get that job, he died. It was sad. But they also didn’t replace him so when the other guy retired, it became her job. It was an unpleasant 10ish years. But again, I digress. So teaching. Work hard and play hard. And it’s always changing - ish. I guess as much as you want, or don’t. New students every 15 weeks. breaks at all the holidays. Summers off. And when you’re just about to get bored, you’re back at work. Maybe because this is the only lifestyle i know, but it doesn’t sound bad. I worked in an office of women in high school. That i for sure knew i never wanted. But teaching. College. Okay. I need a masters. Learn about MA and MFA. Start looking for jobs in Cali because life’s too short to fucking deal with the snow and mosquitos. Idk everyone doesn’t live in Cali. So now the plan is MFA. They are much more rare and more in demand at universities. More money - but this time i think chasing the money necessary bc Calif = expensive. Now back to looking in Europe. I love Italy. I would love to live in in Italy for more that just a semester but actually live Italian or close to it. The language makes sense. The people make sense. The art makes sense. And it’s omg gorgeous. Alas, no American accredited MFA programs I could qualify for in Italy. I don’t know if there were none but if there were, they would have been in textiles, or digital/graphic design. Which I don’t know anything about. I’m old school, metal work, drawing, printmaking - although so far we haven’t gotten along, another thing i going to try to make work before i leave this city that hates me, for good - painting, ceramics, you get it. I hate computers. I appreciate technology but my mom teaches computers therefore there was never a working computer in my house so we (my brothers and me) don’t do computers. So i find this school - in english and in Paris. Paris, so glamorous. Home of famous artists and their art. The Louvre and Eiffel Tower and Fashion. So okay, i check out their programs. One i have no fucking clue what it is. Still don’t. Another is Photography - pass. Graphics - no. List continues. Then i see Drawing. That’s interesting. I can draw, i draw well. This is a program i could probably get into. SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: you can get into any program. No program is ever full. It’s bull shit. Masters program. Undergrad = everyone is applying at the same time. Masters = ages range and much fewer people go. So don’t fall for that shit - EVER. 

They have a one year and two year program. The second year is less than half the first year so makes sense to go the second year and get the MFA vs MA. So that works out. I’m reading and checking it out. Not sure what I’m looking for but in hindsight, i knew something was missing. Talk it over with my mom and her peers who are also teachers. Consensus - don’t be part of the first group. So i have an interview to get it - what a joke. It is also a time for me to learn more about the program. So i ask, is this new? How long has it been around. Answer: Oh no, it’s been working several years. Very confident. I didn’t have a follow-up, just said I don’t want to be in the first group. I said those words. Her response: Oh no no don’t worry. I was so naive. And yes this continued through the whole program. People’s personalities are what they are. So she lied to get me into the program and just kept lying. No respect for the insane about of money i was paying for this ‘experience’. No respect for the education i could have gotten somewhere else. Because this program had NO educational value. I’m not being bitter or dramatic. It was a complete waste of time and money. Then covid happened. Might have been a blessing in disguise. I can go into detail of the program later. This is just an overview of the beginning. 

So, I get accepted. What a surprise. I’m now officially 30 and this - i feel- is my last hoorah. After this i will be an adult who can get an adult job and become an adult. But first i need housing. And a visa. Which is very confusing. So the French and Italians - Italians I am familiar  with, tell you about it later. So they’re similar in that lazy, lack of thoroughness, that’s their thing. Difference being Italians own it, French hardcore deny. So I’m reading this paperwork and it says thing like you need to have all your documents before your visa appointment including plane ticket. Well I can’t go without the visa so why would i get a plane ticket? Cart before the horse shit - it’s very french, wait until you hear about banks.  

[poledancingsquid]

Wicked Game Fanmix

Look I said I’d make this in 2018 and then life was A LOT but I finally finished it today and frankly it’s still my absolute favourite BFU fic.

If you haven’t read Wicked Game go read it ( and send your adoring praise to @mephsation ) If you’re swerving spoilers do NOT read the rest of this yet bc boy am I about the quote the shit out of my favourite fic and also I’ve written a brief summary of every chapter in case people have forgotten.

If you don’t want to read my reasoning and just want the songs here’s a Spotify playlist

So Chapter one: Shane’s just joined the precinct, when Ryan works out the scene they’re at was by a copycat rather than the Lover Shane responds by just saying “You’re Brilliant.”

We’re gonna be friends- The White Stripes, it’s the beginning of Ryan impressing Shane and they’re already conversing easily, honestly this is the chapter I struggled to find a song for the most.

Chapter two: This is where we meet Jess for the first time and find out about her and Shane’s relationship. It’s also when Ryan establishes that the copycat is shorter than the killer so the song I picked was

Looking up- Paramore, granted this is entirely down to the first lyrics being “Things are looking up oh finally” but it’s a banger anyway

Chapter three: This is when Ryan gets the first email. Ryan also nearly gets stabbed and Shane shoots a suspect, the copycat writes ‘he’s not good enough for you’ in blood.

Chic- Leadley primarily for “We could last forever she could last all week” Jess is so sure she’s better suited to Shane than Ryan is.

Chapter four: The second email arrives, explaining that the Lover has killed a man for the first time, the man looks like Ryan.

One More Murder- Better Than Ezra “One more murder in this town don’t mean a thing” which is what Ryan tries to convince himself after a lookalike is murdered.

Chapter five: This is where Ryan first realises he has a crush on Shane, it’s also the chapter with the press conference where the Lover’s sexuality is raised and when Shane admits he’s questioning is sexuality sending Ryan into a slight spiral based on his fear of being outed.

Would you be so Kind?- Dodie I’m not sure who’s POV I think this applies to more at this point.

Chapter six: This is the chapter where Ryan apologises to Shane for his reaction to him coming out, it is also the chapter where an LAPD officer who is the exact same race as Ryan and looks like him is killed, Ryan throws up.

Fear and Loathing- Marina and the Diamonds This is mostly in relation to Ryan’s fears about coming about though I suppose could also be applied to the whole serial killer killing people who are very similar to him thing.

Chapter seven: This is when Ryan and Shane go on their Not! Date that is definitely a date, it ends in their first kiss and Shane blowing him on the couch “Please don’t make me regret this”.

Brilliant Mind- Furniture throughout the fic Shane is constantly fascinated by how ‘brilliant’ Ryan is and this chapter epitomises that. “ You must be out of your brilliant mind”

Chapter eight: Ryan tells Shane about the homophobia he’s experienced in the past, Jess finds out they spent the night together “woke in an empty bed aching for a presence he has no business missing”. Shane is helping a friend clean their apartment so he goes to meet Jess at a bar and gets spiked.

Far too young to die- Panic! at the disco I went with this song because essentially it’s a recurring theme that Ryan almost dies also the obsessive nature of the verses fit in with Shane’s behaviour “ I've never so adored you, I'm twisting allegories now,I want to complicate you, Don't let me do this to myself”

Chapter nine: This is when Ryan wakes up in the hospital, Shane starts to behave oddly and just says he is working on a theory, he also invites himself over to take care of Ryan, Ryan discovers the cleaning supplies in a publi bin. The chapter ends with Shane revealing that Jess is the copycat and the bombshell of “Schmidtt thinks I’m the lover”

If I lose it- Charlie Simpson A little because of the medical stuff at the start of the Chapter a lot because Shane seems so scared for Ryan and ultimately the uncertaintly at the end of the chapter “ I can't tell you what will happen, To us as the days passed, Please just stay with me.”

Chapter ten: Shane plays the recording of Jess, Ryan plans to spend a night with Jess despite everyone telling him not to. Shane begs Ryan not to be scared of him “no more innocents” Jess texts him that she is going to kill someone if he doesn’t come to her immediately, he locked both their guns in the safe so goes unarmed.

Pressure- Paramore this is frankly one of the most stressful chapters to read because Ryan commits dumbassery after dumbassery and I think this embodies that intense STRESS feeling very well

Chapter eleven:Jess is arrested, Shane almost shoots her in full view of the bodycam, Ryan gets shot and Shane is going on trial to ensure Jess pleads guilty.

Coming Down- Halsey This is where Ryan starts to see a possible darker side to Shane  “I found the Devil, I found him in a lover, And his lips like tangerine, In his color coded speak”

Chapter twelve: This is when it’s officially revealed that Shane’s a murderer, he stands by no innocents killing Leo Tayler with an axe after he caused the deaths of his children.

Monster- Paramore “ You were my conscience, so solid, now you're like water We started drowning, not like we'd sink any further” this is the point at which Ryan’s conscience is starting to slip (even if it’s giving Shane more of one)

Chapter thirteen: With no more murders they are eventually taken of the Lover case Jess’s trial is over quickly and she pleads guilty, Shane’s trial drags on, Ryan finds out he killed a criminal in one of his first weeks on duty, he’s found not guilty, Ryan sees Shane at the firing range and says that he wants Leo to be dead, he gets home from work to find Shane in his LAPD uniform.  The head is delivered to Ryan

Crazy=Genius- Panic! at the Disco, this is a bit of a summary of Shane’s character throughout honestly but also this really feels like the turning point of no return, Shane would do anything for Ryan including murder, and it’s through his ‘genius’ he was found not guilty. 

Chapter fourteen: As they investigate Leo Taylor’s murder Ryan begins to suspect Shane, this is where he quizzes Shane, discovers a knife in his home that isn’t his, later whilst investigating the deaths of sex wokers Ryan runs into a building without back up, Shane shoots Douglas and Ryan basically asks him to kill Murray

One Little Lie- Simple Creatures because at this point Ryan basically knows Shane is a murderer he just gets very good at lying to himself “I tell myself one little lie and the pain don’t phase me”

Chapter fifteen: So basically whilst fucking Shane Ryan thanks him for killing Douglas and then he bites him until it draws blood because Shane asked him to/ They manage to book a holiday eventualy, Ryan finds out Shane has a ssecond phone and saves the number. They go literally everywhere Ryan loves: Knotts Berry Farm, A Lakers Game, Disneyland there’s a car crash and Ryan stops to save the victims. Shane admits he wouldn’t have stopped. When they’re due to return to work Shane leaves early. When Ryan gets to work there’s a rung on his desk and email from Shane. He tries to call him on both phones “ I would’ve said yes”

Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson look when I started this playlist this was the only song I was certain was fitting for this particular part of the story because in his own way Shane is trying to protect Ryan by leaving. “ And I want you to know, You couldn't have loved me better, But I want you to move on, So I'm already gone”

Chapter sixteen: Shane watched him for ten years. Ryan remarries after moving to Chicago although he still wears Shane’s ring around his neck. Another killer goes after him. Shane finds out and it culminates in his shooting Weber. Ryan instantly knows it’s Shane and makes a come hither motion.

I felt younger when we met- Waterparks Ryan has had the guilt of hiding what he knows about Shane for a decade, he still cares about him but it kills him inside “ Do you see, You're the reason I can't sleep?, Lose it where your head should be”

Chapter seventeen:Ryan and Shane meet in a bar, Shane tells him the names of everybody he killed, they go home together after Ryan tries and fails ot arrest him, Shane chokes him until he’s either unconscious or dead and turns himself in the next day

Pompeii- Bastille This chapter is straight up just dark nostalgia (which frankly you can inject into my veins) “And if you close your eyes, Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all” In the dark between my sheets

[ethicallysourcedhumanmeat]

men literally have no idea what child support is for, like you hear men constantly bellowing about their ex spending their hard earned money on frivolous shit and its just like she bought groceries bro, she paid rent? she bought clothing and entertainment for your children? like dear god she did one thing for herself? thats it she saves child support specifically for it, she couldn't have possibly just saved money??

my ex, when confronted by a lawyer about how much he was supposed to be paying (twice what he'd been paying and i wasnt asking for backpay) told me if i had to use child support for essentials i shouldn't have custody. the same man who had a fit when i bought the kids new clothes, insisted they wear PJs that were too small and i cut off any pants that were too short but still fit in the waist instead of buying shorts in the summer, my ex who only had one bed for them when they visited bc they're small they can share, thought he should have custody bc child support was being used to provide essentials for his kids, which is always the argument i hear.

i asked him what he thought it should pay for and he said he should be able to put it in an account for them. and to be clear, we had zero debt, he made 65k a year plus bonuses there was zero reason to try to cut costs like that, he got mad when i bought them new clothing but i wasnt allowed to thrift shop either or buy used lots from local fb groups or accept hand me downs from friends

he would reason that it was his money bc i didn't work, but i couldn't drive and he wanted to find a job for evenings only bc he would not pay for daycare, in walling distance bc he wouldn't drive me (he drove me to take my test once insisted we go right that second on a holiday but the office was closed so he refused to take me again) and also that would give me 6+ weeks leave of absence on zero notice because he was military and was literally on exercise 200 days of the year on avg.

so anyway please question men when they're on this bullshit bc i guarantee it's not thst deep and they genuinely dont know how anything not focused on their enjoyment works

[sapphosclown]

Snowball Fights - A Tyrus Oneshot

Cyrus loves winter and TJ Kippen.

———

———

Beams of sunlight poured through Cyrus’ blinds, causing his room to be lined with streaks of orange light. His eyes fluttered open slowly as the rays of light were lined up directly to where his eyes were. He softly grunted to himself and tossed himself onto his other side, facing away from the light. He grabbed his phone that was sitting on his bedside table with a charger hanging out of it and looked at the time.

8:53

Without a thought he put his phone back down and curled back up into his sheets. His comfort didn’t last very long though as he suddenly bolted straight up, wide awake.

8:53??

He had overslept. He was supposed to have been at school half an hour ago, why hadn’t his alarm gone off? Why didn’t his mom wake him up? The panic was starting to settle in as he scrolled though his notifications hurriedly. Just as he was about to abandon his phone and throw on the closest combination of clothes most readily available to him, he saw a text from his mom.

Mom: Snow Day!!! No school, I’ll be in my office if you need me! <3

He let out a breath of relief and continued to look at his notifications in a much calmer manor. He had texts from every one of his friends rejoicing about their day off. Cyrus jumped out of bed and ran over to his window like a little kid, pulling down on his blinds so only his eyes were peaking through. Sure enough, the ground had been coated with a thick layer of snow.

It was honestly kind of magical. The untouched snow glistening in the light of the rising sun, snowflakes falling delicately from the sky, tree branches covered in snow hanging above the roads, mimicking a tunnel of sorts. Cyrus loved it.

Frankly, Cyrus loved pretty much everything about winter. Well, he wasn’t too fond of the below freezing temperatures or midterms but other than those things, he loved winter. He loved the seasonal drinks, the holiday season, winter break, snow days. The overall energy surrounding winter never failed to put Cyrus in a good mood. 

A smile crept onto his face as he let out a small yelp of glee and pounced back onto his bed, phone in hand, messages already pulled up.

GHC + JB

Cyrus: be at the park at noon if you enjoy snow filled activities

The Buff ™: Slightly ominous, but I’m there!

Andi oop: count me in

JB: sounds fun :)

Cyrus smiled at his phone and bounced on his bed joyfully. He felt like a little kid again, it was a nice refresher from all the stress that had been swarming his brain as midterms approached.

His phone buzzed again.

Andi oop: is it ok if i invite amber?

The Buff ™: and Marty?

Cyrus: as long as they love snow filled activities

That reminded him, he closed the group chat and clicked on TJ’s contact.

Cyrus: happy snow day!! everyone is going to the park later for Snow Filled Activities™, you should come :)

Cyrus set down his phone and went to get ready for the day. He went downstairs and looked in one of the closets to make sure he still had all of his snow gear. He did, although he wasn’t totally sure how well it would fit considering he had grown since he last wore it, so he decided he’d be sure to wear extra layers. When he got back to his phone, he saw a message waiting for him.

Teej: sounds good underdog :)

Today was going to be a good day.

***

The cold air bit Cyrus’s cheeks as he slid down the hill again with Buffy and Marty following close behind. He had gotten a head start, kind of. Cyrus was just sledding down the hill on his own terms, his friends however appeared to be starting up yet another competition. Cyrus heard Buffy and Marty count to three in unison before they sped down the hill. He walked over to the swing set and laughed to himself as Marty accused Buffy of cheating. He took a seat on a snow covered swing and looked out at the park.

It really had snowed a lot that night, there was plenty to do. While Marty and Buffy continued to race each other down the hill, Andi, Amber, and Jonah were attempting to build a snowman. Well, Jonah was attempting to build a snowman, Andi and Amber were just wondering aimlessly around the park, occasionally picking up random items that could be used to decorate said snowman. Cyrus smiled sweetly at the sight of all of his friends enjoying themselves.

“Whatchya smilin’ bout there?”

Cyrus’s train of thought was interrupted as he swiveled his head to see TJ walking up to him, hands behind his back and an innocent smile on his face. Almost too innocent…

“Just enjoying the show,” Cyrus answered suspiciously, a giggle slipping through his words. “What about you?”

“Oh, no reason.” TJ answered, his innocent smile turning into one of mischief.

“Something tells me that’s not true.” Cyrus teased as he slowly rose from his swing.

TJ replied with a mere shrug and lowered his eyes to the ground, his grin still plastered on his face. Suddenly he looked up again. “Hey what’s that?” he pointed up past Cyrus’ head. The brown haired boy turned to where he was pointing, regretting it a moment later when he felt a thud against his arm.

He turned back towards TJ who was now sporting a large toothy grin, his gloved hands in front of him, dusting off snow.

“TJ Kippen, did you just throw a snowball at me?” Cyrus laughed.

“Maybe…” He shrugged, eyes pointed to the sky and a cheeky smile on his lips.

Cyrus felt a sudden warmth in his cheeks, despite the icy breeze, as he bent down and grabbed a fist full of snow, wearing a smirk of his own. He quickly hurled the snowball at TJ and by some miracle, landed him right in the chest.

The blondes face turned to one of playful shock whilst Cyrus plastered on his own innocent facade.

“Oh it’s on, Goodman.” TJ laughed as he bent down to grab another handful of snow, sending Cyrus running.

They chased each other around the park for a few minutes before finding their way to a clearing with no one around and nothing but a few trees and large rocks. Cyrus ducked behind an oddly large boulder and slapped his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” TJ sang as he crept through the field, snowball in hand.

Cyrus let out an involuntary squeak to which he cursed himself and prayed that TJ hadn’t heard him. When he thought the coast was clear, he sneaked a peak from behind the rock, but TJ was no where to be found. Cyrus stood up straight and looked around in confusion for a moment. His confusion turned quickly into fear as he felt a pair of arms being wrapped around him. The suddenness caused the both of them to loose their balance, a small yelp emitting from Cyrus as they fell to the ground. Before he could process what had just happened, TJ was laying on top of him.

They looked at each other for a moment before bursting out into hysterical laughter, tears forming in the corners of their eyes. Their amusement dyed down and they looked at each other again, smiles turning soft.

“Looks like I found you.” TJ hummed. 

“Looks like it.” 

And then Cyrus noticed how close they were. They were like, really close. Their noses were only a few inches away from touching. The smiles melted off of their faces, scanning every detail about each other.

TJ’s eyes look really pretty in this light. Cyrus observed. His eyes usually looked pretty, but the way the sun hit them today made them look glossy and gentle. Faint freckles popped up along the bridge of TJ’s nose and his cheeks were blotchy and red from being out in the cold. 

TJ looks really pretty.

He broke eye contact with Cyrus, his eyes flickering down to the brunettes lips for not even a second. Cyrus didn’t even realize he did the exact same thing. 

“I really want to kiss you right now.” TJ mumbled.

Cyrus couldn’t help the sheepish grin forming on his face. Feeling uncharacteristically bold, he whispered. “So kiss me.”

And he did. As if that day could not have gotten more magical, here he was, in the middle of the park, kissing TJ Kippen. Cliché as it sounds, Cyrus swore he saw fireworks. The kiss lasted for only a few seconds before they pulled away from each other and broke out into the dorkiest grins imaginable.

Just then, the cogs in Cyrus’ brain began to turn and an idea popped into his head. 

“Wait, what’s that?” He said, looking past TJ’s head.

The other boys face contorted slightly with confusion as he turned to face where Cyrus was looking, finding himself regretting that decision as he felt cold, damp snow pressed into his ear.

He turned back to Cyrus, who was biting back a prideful smile at his prank. A look of mock betrayal took over TJ’s face.

“I thought we were having a moment!” He pouted, only half serious.

“Oh, we were,” Cyrus deadpanned, “but before that we were in the middle of a war.” he smiled.

TJ smiled back despite himself. “Fine. You win.”

“Wow, I didn’t think you would give in so easily.”

“Well, if I’m chasing you around with snowballs I can’t do this,” He leaned down and once again connected their lips. Cyrus giggled when the pulled apart for the second time.

“Who would have guessed that TJ Kippen is such a sap.”

“What can I say, I enjoy a good rom com.” TJ shrugged, provoking a smile from each of the boys.

TJ clamored off of Cyrus and extended a hand to help him up, to which he gladly accepted. Once they were both upright, Cyrus kept his hand attached to TJ’s and they began to walk back towards their friends.

Today was a good day.

———

———

here’s some snowy fluff for this dreadful lovely winter season, you’re welcome.  winter tyrus is a mood i’m here for. full disclosure i wrote this story like back in august and then just now rewrote it bc i didn’t really like most of the first one. also i got this idea from a scene in Until Dawn but i made it soft and gay.

anywho i hope the 5 people still active in these tags enjoyed lmao. happy holidays :)

[fuck-customers]

Holy Shit Buckle Up Y'all

(TW: mentions of transphobia, racism, and self-harm)

A little backstory:

In November we hired three new people to help with our workload around the holidays, and we've kept them on. Two of them are very hard workers, have great personalities, and nice work ethics. The third, who I will be referring to as J.....does not.

She constantly asks to switch shifts instead of putting in for time off or changing her availability (said that its "inconvenient" for her to change it), if you're even a minute late to covering register for her when she's supposed to get off, she'll just abandon the register and clock out and then shop for thirty minutes, and she is constantly walking away from her post bc she's "bored" and "doesn't feel like working" when there are literally people in line.

So about two weeks ago, she scheduled for five days off. Sweet, shes learning. She then proceeds to call off the day before her five days and the day after. So now she has a week off. Dick move, but I can't say no one has done it before.

Her scheduled day back is a Wednesday. She texts one of my coworkers, P, and asks her to take her shifts for Wednesday AND Thursday. P agrees because she wants more hours, but all of us, including the managers, are irritated now. This is now nine days off she's gotten.

On Wednesday, I got a text from her asking if I could take her shift Friday. Now as of this point, I've been sick all week - hacking my lungs out, not able to breathe, but working bc we're short staffed (bc of her) and bc I need the money. I had Friday and Saturday off for the first time in MONTHS so no way in hell was I gonna take it. I just said no, firmly.

She continues to pester me, asking why, since I don't work Friday I should be able to, etc, and I kind of snapped:

Which, okay, maybe I shouldn't have snapped like that. But I was exhausted and frustrated and so sick of her getting to do this that I just couldn't take it anymore. I expected her to call me a bitch and then ignore me but hoooooo boy nope. (Names are blacked out) (and if this many photos aren't allowed feel free to delete this submission)

First of all, the racism comment:

She was buying cigarettes and even though shes a coworker, I have to ID her bc she's 19 and I can get fired for that shit. She told me she had lost her ID and asked to just put her birthday in. My manager said it was fine, so I did, and I made the offhanded comment about how she should get a new one so she didn't get pulled over by a racist dick while driving. We live in an area where the cops just looovvve to profile people (if you know Ohio, you know where) and I'd had that conversation with so many of my friends that I didn't even think about it, I was just concerned about her getting home safely to her kid. She didn't react negatively at the time, just said "oh I didn't think about that, thanks" and we moved on. If she had really had an issue with it she would have spoken to our managers, so clearly she's only bringing it up now to scare me. I just.....I mean obviously if I am being racist I want someone to tell me so I can fix my actions, but I didn't even think that came off that way in the moment. Maybe I was out of line, but the same thing has happened recently to my 16 year old cousin (he's fine dw) and so its been on my mind.

Second, no, I am not a manager. But aside from four other employees, two of which only work part time, I am one of the oldest members of staff (time wise, not age wise, I'm 23). So the managers put me in charge of a lot of shit, which means that I end up being in charge of people. Which apparently she did not like.

And third no, I do not have a kid. I'm not married, I don't have a partner, and I barely have the income to make half of rent with my roommate sometimes. I would not bring a child into this world if I could help it, and it pissed me off that she would imply that if I had a child, I'd be more mature. I wanted to scream at her and tell her that if having a kid makes you more mature, it clearly didn't work for her. I feel so bad for her kid; he's like two, and she's already constantly using him as an excuse for not doing things and not going to work. She lives with her mom and her boyfriend, so she has a support system (her mom is retired, and a very sweet lady). Like again, I don't have a kid, but all my coworkers who do don't pull this shit ever.

Anyway

I was physically shaking by the end of these texts, crying, because I HATE when people yell at me, especially when they know me IRL. And especially cause she was accusing me of some nasty shit. I sent them all to my manager in the least professional set of texts I'd ever written and then two hours later had to go to work.

My depression was up, my anxiety was through the roof, and as soon as our floater manager asked me if I was okay I burst into tears again. I showed her and the closing manager the texts and they were both appalled but then

They fucking started trying to "comfort" me by making racist comments!!! "Oh, thats just what her people are like" "you know she grew up in the ghetto part of town" "that girl is straight up hood" like!!!!

I was furious. I was so mad it wasn't funny, but they're my MANAGERS and i need this job and they're both old, so they don't think what they're saying is wrong. I tried desperately to derail it by saying things like "where she grew up had nothing to do with it" but they just kept going and I just....that made it so much worse tbh I just walked out of the office to do my fucking job.

A couple hours later, right as I've started to calm down, one of my coworkers started making really transphobic comments about one of our old coworkers who I'm still friends with, deadnaming her, saying that she's allowed to deadname her bc its part of her religion, etc etc.

Y'all I just....walked behind the photo counter and had a fucking meltdown on the floor. I dragged myself to the pharmacy to get their trash so I had SOMETHING to focus on and as soon as I got there the tech took one look at me and held out her arms and I just lost it again.

I go to my manager and basically just ask to do trash and go home. I was supposed to close, and I have left early only once in my life, when we were too dead to need me, but I had just mentally had it. I knew that if I didn't leave in that moment I wasn't going to make it to the end of the night without hurting myself.

She agreed, I finished trash, and got one of my friends to come pick me up.

My GM texts me the next morning (Thursday) and says she's giving me PTO for the hours I didn't work Wednesday night and for my day off on Friday. I almost cried again bc I was so stressed about the money.

Fast forward to a week later, today, and J still has a job, but she has now also called off 16 days in a row. Claiming she's still stuck in Texas with her kid (which was why she was asking to trade shifts last week).

I don't know how much longer my GM can hold out before firing her. I really don't.

Tldr; coworker asks me to take a shift for the hundredth time after calling out for a week, I say no (albeit a bit rudely), they start screaming at me via text, and I have a mental breakdown.

[dorky-spider]

Written Version of Dom’s Podcast #3

For people who don’t understand a thing going on or for those who struggle to hear it, I’ve typed out what is said in the podcast “Podcast 3 - father and sons chewing the fat...”

it is long so it is under a read more. Enjoy!

S-Sam 

T-Tom

H-Harry

D-Dom

D: Are we filming Harry?

 H: Yeah we’re filming

T: We are in atlanta GA

 S: Surprise 

D: We aren't supposed to be here are we

 S: We’ve come out to surprise tom 

S: 10 hour flight for a game of gulf 

D: Harry was definitely coming that was always the plan 

T: I knew Harry was coming and you did it very well actually. I’m glad you didn’t do it in a restaurant. It was a bit emosh

 H: that was the original plan

 D: It was pretty emotional. It would have been awful if Tom was just like “HI” 

T: yeah ah hi guys how you doing 

*pause* 

T: it took me a minute to figure out what was going on though. I was tired from working and I’m so homesick 

D: that’s why we came btw

 T: you didn’t just decide to come on holiday 

D: I cancelled gigs at pubs(?) to get here 

T: what pub? 

D: the turks head in Switzerland 

S: I thought it was the badcat 

D: Yeah S: ah thats a good gig

T: but yeah it took me a minute to figure out what was going on 

S: Your reaction was unreal

T: Because I saw your face first (Sam) and then I saw dad’s face and I really thought I was hallucinating

 S: its the sign of disappointment 

T: I was like I am so tired or I’ve had too many beers. Because I surprised dad in Edinburgh

 S: that was massive 

 T: and we have a video of that that we’ve never shown

 D: It got into my show didn’t it. The Glory year. Remember the Glory year? Other three: Yeah

 D: You had to leave, you had to leave before the end.

 T: oh did the video. Did the video play at the end of the show? 

S: no it didn’t play but dad spoke about it. 

T: ohhh okay 

H: dad’s not. Dad’s not able to do that

 D: I told the story about how excited i was and how I was wearing pjs, your (toms) pjs, coming off a first class flight. 

T: which I still want back btw 

D: what about the other surprise in um Thailand.

  T: oh yeah. That was a good one. You’re good at surprises

 D: your birthday and your end of filming, mom called me up in london and said dad, you old dog, come out to Thailand. So I wen, I flew out on Thursday and flew back on sunday.

T: oh yeah, I went scuba diving that day

 D:  that right you came out 

T: I came out and you came out from a pillar

D: and you were telling everyone what you saw

S:yeah bc you were on a ripstick(?) werent you. You were going around a fountain 

T: right right right 

S:and then dad just walked out

 T: my reaction was not as good as harry’s

. *pause* 

T: the surprise in Edinburgh, we surprised mom for her birthday. 

H: coming from Canada 

D: we’ve got a lot of surprises going on don’t we 

T: sam ruined that one S: yeah lets talk about the shit

 D: we kept this one quite 

T: I actually had no idea

 S: thing is though it was so on a whim 

D: well it was on a thursday that we came. Mom flew me in

 S: I think it was wednesday that we kind of thought about it 

D: nah

 S: I remember I was like are we doing this then and you said ah its all good 

D: yeah cool and here we are in Atlanta. Played golf today

T: ugh I played so bad 

D: Harry and I played Sam and … Tom. 

Everyone laughs

 D: I’m jet lagged and what was the score boys 

T: it was all square. We were one down going up the 18th and then dad cracked under the pressure 

S: I was one down

 D: and who won the hole then

 T: Sam did because I was exhausted 

S: I’m jet lagged

 D: Sam you played really well

 S: I did. I was very pleased. It was that driver you kno

w D: you diver was well. You know it was all very square.

 S: I was glad it ended like that 

H: We should have won 

T: no you shouldn’t have 

D: yeah we definitely should have 

T: no you finished like one hole on the front line 

H: your point is.? 

D: Harry lost his, how many balls did you lose man?

 H: too many man 

T: I lost a lot of balls. I think I lost an entire 

S: you threw one in the lake 

T: well that was a stupid ball. I missed the par

 S: yeah that was the problem, the ball

 T: it was all the balls fault.it was an oblong

 H: in golf you have expensive golf balls and they’re like 8 pound each

 T: no they’re 5 pounds

S: they’re expensive 

H:okay so 5 pounds. And I took paddy to play golf a week ago and out of his bag. He’d obviously going to your drawer and taken 6 pro-b1s. And i was like paddy you can’t be hitting pro-b1s. You can’t soi took all of them out his bag and out them in mine and replaced them with my crummy ones. I lost all 6 in 6 holes. 

D: its expensive being a dad with 4 kids but talking about expenses. We’re very excited because the brother’s trust has just launched this new event. It’s gone brilliantly. 

S: it was launched friday 

T: its raised over 90(?) thousand dollars 

D: what is it. It’s now sunday so we launched it Friday in london during the screening time  

T: what screening

D,S,H: we watched the avengers 

T: oh right 

D: your mom and I phoned it.

 S: oh is that why she left? 

D: yeah to make sure it was up. She was on wifi, she launched it. So while we were watching the film we were also looking at the counter at how many views 

H: how do you do that? 

D: mom’s got it on her phone T: 90 thousand is amazing already 

H: we can use that extra 2 thousand to replenish the golf balls we lost

D: actually that is a good disclaimer. None of the money is used for luxury holland  days out. All of the money goes to

 T: entirely non- profit

 D: yeah no one gets paid at the brother trust 

T: should we talk about the charities? We could each talk about one of the charities 

S: should we establish what it is?

 T: Why don’t you (harry) tell us about your trip to Kibera(?) 

D:wait before we do that, why don’t we tell people what they can win in the do’s 

S: why don’t you (tom) do that cause you’re the man 

H: you can see me 

T: harry will be there. So hang out with him. 

D: its the premier in LA 

T: its the LA premier for Spiderman far from home 

D: which we just watched the trailer of 

T: we just watched the trailer of. Which we dont know when it comes out and we can’t disclose any information for

 S: when is the premier? 

T: I think the premier is June 

H: ask for the trailer and then

 D: June 15th I believe … mid june

T: mid june but if you go online or on my instagram and the link in my bio, you can see all the details about when the event is and when it will be taking place. But whats really exciting is the ability to go to the far from home premier, we’ll give you $1000 spending money, we’ll put you up in a snazzy hotel. The winner will basically get the opportunity to fly with a friend from anywhere in the world to LA to attend the FFH premier with me. Harry will be there, Sam and dad will probably be there. On the carpet, we’ll take pictures, there’s an amazing after party that we’ll go to. Obviously we’ll get to see the film which is the most exciting part of the process. I haven’t even seen the film yet so you’ll be watching the fim for the first time with me watching for the first time which will be pretty awesome. And uh yeah, it’ll be pretty awesome 

D: it’ll be a great night. And that’s what people are entering the raffle for. The money that we raise guys we are really 

T (off camera): ow!

*pause*

 H: I really hope I get credit as your hand double in spiderman 

D: oh right yeah 

T: harry’s hand was in the first trailer 

S: yeah because when you unzip the suitcase wasn’t that you 

H: that was the first time I did it. It was terrifying 

S: were you nervous?

 H: oh my god

S: you’re just unzipping a suitcase 

H: no no no it was the first day of filming… 

*pauses for spoilers*

 T: start again.we were on set for ffh

 *Pauses again for spoilers* 

D: good I’m glad that resolved. So the brother’s trust when we founded it we have the idea that we would shine light on the charities that don’t get the publicity that big charities can generate. And we wanted to use charities that are very sort of cost effective. That sort of have most of the money going to the recipients not offices in london or new york. The big things what we didn’t want the money being spent on. And one of the charities is Lunchbowl and you just been to kibera so you 

S: you (Harry) go on all the trips, you do 

T: I know, you do all the cool trips H: I know, I’m the cameraman D: it was a great trip wasn’t it 

H: I went to Kibera, Which is the second largest town(?) in the sub saharan in africa and its the place of a charity we support, lunchbowl. What lunchbowl does is they have a nursery and now a primary/ secondary school and they basically take kids out of the slum and provide them with school and then on saturdays I believe it is they have a feeding program within the slum where they have 300 kids from within kibera come and they feed 300 children and they give them food and a stash of milk and then on sunday they have rugby. 

T: they play rugby?

 D: yeah they go to a posh school

 H: they go to a regular posh school in Kenya. The posh schools have it then they have these coaches that come 

S: we bought one of the busses, didn’t we?

 H: yeah. So one of things the brother’s trust did was we bought a bus which when I first heard that I was like why do they need a bus. But really the rugby ground is 5 kilometers 

D: a long walk

 H: so what happens is the bus is completely full to the point of them sitting on top of one another like this. And then what happens is when I was there, I saw like 20 kids at the gate. They’re just outside waiting at the gate and I went over with the head coach and he was explaining to me that these kids walked there 2 hours. Some of them are barefoot. To play rugby and then they get a meal afterwards. Another thing the bus does is take the kids from kibera to the new secondary school. I think the reason its so great is because the chance of a child making it to 5 years old is 50%. So you’re talking like the flip of a coin. So taking a child out kibera for the day. For 8 hours, 10 hours a day drastically improves the chance of survival 

S: mom was telling me during holidays they get really upset because they miss school so much.

 H: they say teachers can tell a massive change in behaviors after a holiday

 T,S: Really? 

H: because for these kids going to school is like, its like heaven

 D: and what they’re trying to do in kibera is what we take for granted. We have school from 4 - 18 mandatory, free for us in Britain/England. And what they’re trying to do is give these kids a chance to become educated.

 H: They want, so they used to have this school that went from I think 2-6 which is great but its not great because when a kid finishes at 6 years old where are they going to go? They go right back into the slum. So now that it goes up to 15, they only started that last year, that’s so massive for them. Because they can take a child from 2 years old to 15 and they can really shape the person they are with the teachers. 

D: its worth saying in light of what I was saying earlier, every pound that we give to lunchbowl, 97p is given to the children, 3p is postage. 

S: last campaign did 406? 

D: yeah yeah and we had a guy come over from america 

T: was his name Erik? 

D: yeah

T: he was really nice that guy 

H: we gave him a tour of set 

T: he came to set, we had a good time. He was lucky because they were about to tear down that venice set weren't they 

H: I feel like .. marvel police

 T: well that was in the trailer. There’s gonna be a red laser on your forehead 

H: right over there by the building with his marvel cap on 

D: and he stayed at the Sevoy(???) 

T: the venice set was so amazingS: I couldn’t .. they like dyed the water and everything 

*another pause* 

D: i don’t remember ever reading a marvel comic 

*tom plays a sound effect* 

D: what is that applause? 

S: are these like loads of sound effects? 

T: yeah its got loads of sound effects. I bought it for your … 

*Tom plays booing*

 D: Oh I’ve heard that! I’ve got that at work 

Tom (off camera): take us out sam. Send us home.

 S: okay that enough golf talk. But the main thing is the brothers trust campaign we’ve launch. You can go on Brother’s trust instagram and find the link, donate, and enter into the raffle. We can’t wait to see you at the LA premier. 

D: 2 people

 T: 2 people and 1 has to be over the age of 13 and its going to be amazing. Peace out. 

D: no more surprises.

[ereri-lost-and-found]

Heyy so first of all I wanted to tell you guys that your blog is so good ! Aaah it's nice to have so many people willing to dedicate themselves to help fans find ereri fics :') and your 100th follower giveaway !! You are just adorable

Why, hello there little Strawberry! Your kind words just put you on our ‘nice’ list! These ereri elves were determined to make you a list that makes it feel like the Holidays! Please take a peek below for an early Christmas gift from us to you; we won’t tell Santa!

While this is our first list of Christmas fics, please feel free to comment below and share with us some of your favorites! Tis the season to share ereri, fa la la la la fa la la la. 🎶🎄🦌⛄

A Christmas Carol by FraBee

(Rated E, 22 456words, complete)

Levi Ackerman hated a lot of things: people, dirt, noise, crowded spaces, wasting his money on things like paying his employees, getting together with his relatives…But there came a time of they year in which all these things came together, a time he despised with a passion: Christmas.Which was, undoubtedly, the dumbest, most expensive and irritating holiday of them all.So, like every year, he refused to go spend time with his nephew (Farlan Church) and made his secretary (Eren Jaeger) stay in the office ‘till late on Christmas Eve, not caring if the younger had plans that night.He knew everyone hated him, avoided him, but that’s exactly what Levi wanted: to be left alone.But on that Christmas Eve the spirit of his dead colleague (Erwin Smith) and three others (Historia Reiss as the ghost of Christmas past, Sasha Brauss as the ghost of Christmas present, and I have no idea who the ghost of Christmas to Come is) will change his mind, but most importantly his heart.

a modern day christmas carol by acidtowns (Rated T,10 774 words, complete)

Three spirits visit Levi on Christmas Eve to tell him to get his life together.

Christmas at the Ackermans by zhedang (Rated T, 8 611words, complete)

An incredibly self-indulgent fic in which Mikasa asks Eren to do her a favor and go pick up her “sort of” cousin Levi from the airport and oh no, he’s hot.

Christmas Cleaning by raindrop_rouge (Rated G,2 361 words, complete)

Christmas has come and gone, and Levi only has one thing in mind: cleaning up. Eren, however, does not seem 100% devoted to cooperating.

Baby It’s Cold Outside! by ReluctantHero (Not Rated, 8 603words, complete)

Eren has been a huge fan of Actor Levi Ackerman since he was a child.Now he’s doing his first big roll on a TV Christmas movie and get to work with his long time idol.Will they hit it off?

sit it out by elliewritesthings (Rated T, 14 081words, complete)

However, when he steps out from between the shelves he freezes in place, brows furrowing as he stares at the chair, his chair, that’s currently being occupied by someone that is not him.Well, that’s unusual, he thinks. During the current semester, Eren has never seen anyone sitting in his chair. In fact, the seats by the window are rarely taken, and even now there are plenty of available ones just few feet away, but Eren wants this one. Annoyance bubbles up inside him as he glares at the person who’d so rudely stolen his chair. Though all he can see is the back of the guy’s head, Eren can tell that he’s a grade A asshole.

Sweeter Than Expected by inkshaming (Not Rated, 18 144words, complete)

Though he had the best of intentions, Levi finds himself out of his depth when it comes to expressing his new-found affection for a college student who’s a little down on his luck. He’s about to find out that, when it comes to Eren, there’s really no such thing as ‘too sweet.’An Accidental Sugar-Daddy AU.

home for christmas by elliewritesthings (Rated M,7 069words, complete)

He’s so not over it, Levi surmises, slumping down on the table as he keeps stealing glances in Eren’s direction. Damn it, the man has only gotten more handsome while he’s been gone, that bright, beaming smile and those lively eyes making Levi’s heart beat faster even though he’s all the way on the other side of the room. There are a couple of new gray hairs at his temples, and Levi figures it tells quite a lot about him that he’s able to spot something that minor from across the room. Coming back had been a terrible mistake because he can feel himself falling all over again and it’s even worse the second time around - he’s an adult now, for fuck’s sake, and it’s downright ridiculous that he’s still not over his little crush.

Homebound by Gootbuttheichou (Rated E,6 546words, complete)

When Michigan is hit by a blizzard, Levi and Eren find that they are unable to fly back to their home state for Christmas- so they make do by celebrating it on their own.

Murphy Christmas by SimplyTsundere (Rated T, 5 739words, complete)

After adopting two unfortunately mischievous kittens, Veterinarian Eren Jaeger discovers his new neighbor isn’t the most friendly person when he gets awoken by kittens screaming in his face. The straight-laced, attractive man scoffs at his presence and goes on about his morning. Eren feels terrible for the first impression and decides that he should apologize properly: with some wine. He returns that afternoon to apologize only to wind up in a series of unfortunate events. Little did he know that his fateful meeting would lead to much more than a bloody nose, a glass of wine, and a proposition.

Check Me Out by Attack_On_Feelings (delsol) (Rated E, 6 219words, complete)

Itchy green polos, bailing coworkers, rude suburban moms, and one very attractive costumer.Based on the prompt: Some asshole customer is screaming at you for doing your job and I can tell that you really want to yell back but I’m assuming you can’t so excuse me I’ll do it for you

Wasabi, Or All the Things We Leave Behind by Silicu (silmil) (Rated M,4 916words, complete)

Levi hates Chriastmas, Eren loves hot chocolate, Hanji is going to suffer and Mikasa is creepy. Oh, and Erwin and Armin might take over the world.

Late Night Coffee by iStygianEmpress (iDarkEmpress) (Rated T,7 390words, complete)

For days, Levi has been receiving gifts from an anonymous sender.  He doesn’t have any idea about who the sender is, but whoever it is seems to know him very well.Levi also has a crush on Eren Yeager, his daily late night customer who seems to worm his way to his heart.Gifts, jealousy and couple sweaters ensues.Who knows? It may become his warmest Christmas.

Endearing Proposal by sweetkokoro (Rated M,3 151words, complete)

Levi and Eren spend their Christmas Eve in downtown Chicago. They’re in Navy Pier and do many fun activities. Towards the end of the day they head towards the big Christmas tree and there, Eren makes an endearing proposal.

Frozen Nipples by BreadHood (Rated G,902words, complete)

Winter is coldHange is annoyingLevi is pissedand his nipples are frozenso why not look for a boyfriend along the way?

Holiday Happenstance by slugworthingtonjr (Not Rated,3 551words, complete)

Eren always waits until the last minute to do his Christmas shopping, and it always sucks. This year however, he manages to collide with another shopper, sending the man’s coffee everywhere. It should’ve made the night worse, but somehow it made it better.

Titan Trees by sciencefictioness (Rated M,5 492 words, complete)

Eren found the perfect Christmas tree for the house. Or he thought he had, until Levi shot him down brutally. Now Levi needs to find a way to make it up to Eren.

C'est la vieby joouheika (Rated E, 11 641 words, complete)

Eren’s cousin Krista just had to come out on Christmas day.

Of Mistletoe and Shitty Fake Boyfriends by TheSpazzBot (Rated T, 13 819words, complete)

Eren wouldn’t say they were friends. Hell, he wouldn’t even say they were acquaintances. But he supposes that ‘Fake Boyfriend’ does have a ring to it.