#be so fucking certain of what this is before you read it jfc

[wrathofrats]

Yeah hi idk what this is I blacked out and came to and this was in the docs

Uhhh basically ifrits first church service and communion as hosted by Omega and alpha

Or omega baptizes ifrit and alpha lets ifrit drink the blood of Christ from his cunt.

Major warnings for intense blasphemy, mockery of the Catholic Church, degradation and religious shaming.

Also alpha is trans because WHY NOT

Ok enjoy.

-

A strong stream of incense wafted into ifrits senses.

The thick air of dust and smoke invaded him, his vision and hearing feeling more cloudy than usual.

He knelt on the carpeted steps to the church stage. Omega standing a couple of feet in front of him and looking impossibly large at this angle.

“What do you ask the church for your summon?”

He doesn’t think he should be looking up. Omega looms directly over him, staring at alpha who sits behind him. He acts as some sort of guide, as some sort of owner of ifrit, like he’s in charge of him.

Ifrit truly cannot make out alphas answer, the words tumbling over his head. Only the low tone of alphas voice penetrates the anathemic fog that surrounds him.

“Are you willing and able to fulfill your duties to bring up your summon in the satanic faith?”

A cold draft creeps down ifrits back as alpha moves to sit next to omega. He doesn’t look at his summon, he stares only up at his own form of deity. The shadows cast across his face make him more demonic, more monstrous than usual.

He reaches down and puts his wrist to alphas mouth, forcing him to sink his fangs into the rich vein of liquid. Omega serving as some metaphor for the word of their lord, his existence meant to praise someone higher but forced down with his own hands being covered in blood.

A warm wet thumb swipes across his forehead. Omega using the blood that drips down his wrist to mark him with the sign of the cross. It’s comforting in a horrific way. The warm sinister smiles of the church combined with the macabre comfort of the blood dripping down his face.

Ifrit thinks he too would bleed for the church if it held him tight like this.

“Do you renounce god and all of his empty promises?” Omega holds his book high with one hand, the other reaching down to unbutton the pants of his uniform. He’s already hard, a true testament to his devotion and love. It’s admirable.

Ifrits hand plaster together in front of him. “Yes father”

“Do you believe in the almighty father, the creator of the earth and all its demonic beings?”

A drop of precum beads at the head of omegas cock, long thick strokes milking himself of the holy liquid. Ifrit truly can’t help but stick out his tongue, desperate for a taste of their sick purity.

The book snaps shut. A screaming echo in the old room. Alpha doesn’t look up in fear of what has angered omega, ifrit being the antithesis and staring his leader in the eye in confusion.

“You’d think you’d know better from the pits. Rotten children don’t deserve to be saved”

The moisture leaves the fire ghouls mouth. He’s confused, scared, ashamed for being so greedy.

“You’re disgusting, I’ve let a sinful being kneel in front of me, offered to cleanse you of your blasphemous ways and you’ve repaid my kindness by being a greedy whore?”

“Father I’m sorry please forgive me-“ ifrits stammers out his apology through forming tears. Omega words cut deep through his devotion and lets it bleed through him, taking over his need to be.

“I hope your knees are raw. I pray you repent”

The book opens again and omega scans it for the place he stopped, continuing to stroke himself just above ifrits face.

He can’t tell when he becomes close, the act of masturbation only serving as a ritual to please his higher lord.

“There is no god that can give you your purity back”

Omega cums hot and thick across ifrits face and chest. Ropes of holy water landing on his cheeks, blessing him, baptizing him of his former demonic ways from the pit. He can feel the sin lift from his skin and burn with the holy liquid.

A rough sleeve wipes ifrits eyes, tilting his chin to smile at him.

“You’ve done well, you may savor the blood and body of Christ now as a child of the dark church”

The unmistakable sound of someone undressing comes from behind omega. Alpha rids himself of his clothing as omega slots behind him, both still perched on the carpeted stage and stairs. Candles and golden objects surround him like his own altar, his own ritual of body and blood.

Alpha opens his legs with a push from omega, hairy thighs leading up to his cunt, shining and on display. His clit engorged with devotion and peaking through his folds. Omega picks up a golden chalice, holding it high above his head, the other hand spreading alpha for ifrit to see.

“Through him, with him and in him, in the unity of the dark spirit, all glory and honor is yours almighty, forever and ever”

“Amen”

Omega tips the chalice over alphas chest, letting the red wine trickle down his body to pool between his legs. It stains his skin a crimson red, a stream from the top of his neck to his thighs. No doubt some kind of blood lain metaphor

“You may take your first communion my ghoul”

Ifrit doesn’t hesitate, dives between alpha legs to lap up the wine from his cunt, sucking the sweet liquid from his t dick. Alphas slick mixes delicately with the blood of Christ. His smoky musk catering the bitter sweet taste of the intoxicating alcohol. Ifrit truly cannot tell what he’s more drunk off of. The wine or the devotion he feels to his own lord.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

okay okay okay so i just watched the pbs great performances hamlet and it was. SO GOOD. oh my god. here are my many, many thoughts:

- the singing starting the show is fucking amazing

- the opening funeral scene and then the transition to the wedding goes so hard

- ophelia’s song having lines from hamlet’s letters to her .. …

- this polonius casting is GOD TIER like yeah. that’s what he looks like. that’s correct.

- i don’t like that they cut the opening ghost scene :/

- omg this horatio <33 i love him sm

- horatio’s black nail polish is everything to me

- ophelia is so hot oh my god

- i love a production that plays up the sibling dynamic between ophelia and laertes

- on that note, ophelia and laertes making fun of polonious is always so fun

- the modern aspects with masks and stuff are so interesting

- the ghost possessing hamlet???? oh my god i’m obsessed why have i never seen that done before

- the actor rolling his eyes back so that you only see the whites of his eyes while he’s possessed is so fucking cool

- i love productions that have hamlet cut his hand on his sword idk why i just do

- also horatio not even hesitating to cut his own hand? i’m insane

- ah fuck,,,, hamlet and horatio grasping each others bloody hands… horatio clasping hamlet’s hand with both his hands,, i’m unwell 😭

- gertrude and claudius being super horny for each other always makes me so uncomfortable

- these ros and guil costumes are great

- big fan of productions that make claudius be super charismatic it’s always such an interesting choice

- god this polonious is so good, he’s so fucking funny

- i love hamlet’s rings <3

- hamlet taking a selfie with the stacie abrams poster is crazy

- hamlet’s personalized handshakes with ros and guil are so cute

- it’s interesting that it’s fully set in america and that all the lines referencing denmark were cut out/changed

- i’m trying to figure out what hamlet was reading but i can’t and it’s driving me crazy 😩

- hamlet smacking polonious on the ass was crazy

- god i love a production that leans into the comedic aspects of this play,, it may be shakespeare’s most famous tragedy but it’s also funny as fuck sometimes

- the incorporation of singing/rapping throughout the show is so good

- also polonious as the one white guy in the room being like. ‘erm actually i don’t like the rapping 🤓☝️’ ,,, stfu man

- i need to know who wrote the lyrics for these songs bc they’re so good and they incorporate the original text so well

- fucking hell man,, his to be or not to be was amazing

- the “where’s your father” moment was so good

- oh my god horatio’s costume change,, the pink suit,,, i love him :’)

- i wish productions didn’t cut down the passions slave speech as much as they tend to do :/

- god ophelia’s dress is GORGEOUS

- polonious being the only one wearing a mask was wild but also so real (as someone who has often been the only person masked in a room)

- god this claudius is really good i appreciate the depth he brings to the role

- hmm interesting place for an intermission idk how i feel about this

- polonious in comfy clothing,, rest in peace peepaw 😭🫡

- polonious’ body lying on the bed during the entire closet scene is so fucked

- sometimes i wish i didn’t know this play so well so i could watch adaptions without noticing every single line they leave out,,,

- jfc,, hamlet wiping the blood off his knife onto the bedsheets,,,

- gertrude not hugging claudius back 👀

- claudius punching hamlet >:(

- idk how i feel about the decision to make ros and guil know about hamlet being sent to his death

- let’s be honest i’m mostly here for solea pfeiffer’s portrayal of ophelia’s madness

- the running makeup and the messy hair. YES.

- i hate that i have a certain melody to ophelia’s songs in my head so when i hear other versions with different melodies i’m like. hmm. incorrect.

- holy fuck she’s so incredible… the ophelia ever oh my god

- YESSSS INCLUSION OF THE HORATIO LETTER SCENE FUCK YEAH (i hate when adaptations don’t include this scene)

- horatio is reading the letter like omg pirates my boyfriend is so cool

- it’s always so funny to me that claudius and laertes make a plan, a backup plan, and a backup backup plan for killing hamlet and it still backfires and kills them both (i mean it does also work to kill hamlet. but still.)

- the portrait of king hamlet watching the entire show goes so hard

- this gravedigger is so amazing i’m obsessed

- ugh 😭 the singers singing the same song at ophelia’s funeral as at the king’s 😩

- oh FUCK ophelia coming out at her funeral.. the watery lighting… i’m going insane

- horatio holding hamlet and comforting him :(

- laertes apparently being able to see the ghost of ophelia makes him as a narrative foil to hamlet all the more juicy

- the eat a crocodile line is always so random lmao

- aw fuck…. laertes singing really got me… :(

- oh my GOD this osric is so fucking funny

- lmao osric beefing with horatio

- horatio in the background of the fencing match cheering on hamlet <3

- claudius standing and rubbing gertrude’s shoulders knowing she’s about to die :( this isn’t fair i’m not allowed to be emo about them

- hamlet offering laertes the sword and then laertes stabbing him with it,,,

- gertrude’s realization of what happened right before she dies was so good

- claudius cutting his own hand on the sword was a powerful choice

- it’s always funny to me when productions completely cut out the fortinbras plotline

- horatio catching hamlet as he falls :(

- horatio singing to hamlet after he dies… i am so incredibly unwell 😭😭

- THE GHOST WAS VOICED BY SAMUEL L. JACKSON?!?? crazy.

overall, amazing production. i loved the musical elements. definitely my favorite ophelia and polonius i’ve seen, possibly my favorite laertes and claudius as well. the hamlet/horatio relationship wasn’t quite as prominent as i would’ve liked it to be, but it was still really great, and i enjoyed analyzing all the little moments they did have.

[genericpuff]

Hello! As a previous fan of LO (back when there was actual effort in the art and I mistakenly thought certain themes and symbolism would be carried through the story) I’m really excited to see what you do with these characters! I was honestly pretty invested in the whole fertility/death goddess dissonance I initially thought was going on, so you can guess I was mega disappointed with where the story went. And I’m already way happier that you’ve begun to build off their relationship as something tangible and emotional, rather than insta love.

Honestly, when I first started reading I thought a major plot point was gonna be Persephone having to balance these two sides of her self that are in conflict, and come out to be a goddess of spring and new growth from decay and death. I thought it was gonna be clever, since that’s kinda what springs like, right? New life and growth from death and rotting matter of the previous seasons. That and the whole ‘red eyed wrath’ thing she had going seemed like a fun hint that she was suppressing her real emotions, and a lot (but not all) of her overly sweet personality was to cover that and be what she thought she was supposed to be. Kinda sad in retrospect, but that’s part of why I’m excited to see where your reimagining goes!

First off, been loving the asks I've been getting from y'all the last little bit, it's a great way to keep stuff updated here in between new Rekindled uploads and essay dumps LMAO so keep 'em coming!

Moving on-

I was really hoping to see that same kind of dissonance carry through the story as well, and it's proooobably one of the biggest things I'll be tackling in this rewrite because it was the one thing I was most disappointed to see fall through in LO.

Fun fact, a lot of my writing over the past decade has focused on dualities like this, alter egos, buried trauma, light vs. dark, host vs. parasite, etc. many of which were concepts you would find in stuff like Undertale, Omori, etc. but like... before those things even existed (I've been writng and making comics online for... a looong time.) I suppose it's the weeb in me that's drawn to these types of personifications of personal dark sides that are present in elements like Chara, Headspace/Black Space, etc. Needless to say, playing games like Undertale and Omori was like, super validating LMAO (if not a little oof because it also reminds me that my ideas aren't that original but that's not a bad thing, there's no such thing as an original idea anymore and that's what makes writing such a great process!)

So like... I weirdly feel that the plots and character dynamics/tropes I usually write and thought no one was interested in has prepared me for this one specific thing??? And it's for a fucking Lore Olympus rewrite comic jfc-

The universe has a funny way of preparing you for things you never expected to be guided to, I suppose. The only fallout is I'm not really eager to share my normal work on this blog due to how rabid/pervasive Rachel's fanbase is (and, y'know, Rachel herself) and I'd rather just protect my usual projects from that potential mess because my usual projects are the ones that are wholly my own, and I intend to still be working on long after Rekindled is done.

But trust me, it's out there and its heartbeat is in perfect sync with that of Rekindled's.

Maybe that'll be the essay I write at the end of all this.

[storiesofsvu]

happy thursday fuckers... you know whats up

Here we go… backwards viewing. We starting with OC. Let’s see if I give two fuck about whats going on…

That therapist looked and sounded super familiar… where do I know him from? Was he fins rope guy? Brb…ugh… its not on imdb yet… *sigh*

Not me looking like a clown reading the opening credits of all THREE shows for guest stars waiting for my fave to pop back up…

I JUST realized that when I was TRYING to fucking watch the last episode on citytv the app/site kept glitching and freezing and I never finished it… that’s why I have NO idea whats going on LOLOL

This show would be so much better without Elliot… also If they gave Ayanna her wife back..

I literally like every detective on this show except for Elliot.

Jamie’s bomb. Also hot. 10/10 would bang

Welp. Okay. That felt over quick yet also took 5 hours to get through this damn episode.

Onto mothership;

Yeah fuck this guy… you’re in nyc… you’re gonna step in some shit. I want to punch you.

“morales” are you kidding me? Can we stop reusing names of recurring characters?? I get, diff show but still same universe.

I would prefer this show if it was just Mechad & Odelya… OH and Kate.

Completely unrelated; someone pls remind me to put together a grocery list/meal prep list of things super easy so I stop ordering fucking delivery. I need to get that shit together.

Mechad just *yelled* and I *felt things* jfc

What TF is senator paley doing here?! Where is keane to spit in his face. Get this man off my tv pls.

Ugh fuck this asshat. This is horrible. But also… we’ve done this storyline in older episodes… alex & casey have both gotten people out of ICE. Cmon sam… where was your paperwork…

OOF she brought her big balls to this… hello m’am

FUCK defence attorneys who attack the character of a prime witness just because they’re there illegally. Like, fuck off, you had her detained in the first place.

Wow okay, fucking heartbreaking ending, way to just hurt Sam.. baby.. is okay… I will cuddle you back to happiness.

FINALLY, okay here we go svu. Ive heard some interesting things about the ep… let’s see

I don’t know if I’m ready for this…

DID WE REALLY HAVE TO REVISIT THE ROLIVIA GOODBYE?!?! AS IF I HAVE NOT SOBBED OVER IT ENOUGH!??

DID SHE LEAVE THE FUCKING CHIPMUNK?? WTF?? IVE HAD SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT IT FOR YEARS

Ugh…. The fin amanda dynamic was always such a fucking good one… I will miss them

Okay I d love that Duarte still watches out for/hangs out with muncy

Who… once again is wearing plaid… like the queer she is…

When is mcgrath gonna fucking meet his rotten end… I need him gone…

Oh THANK GOD noah doesn’t fully witness this?? I was so concerned.

Somehow… that wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be? And I KNOW this is probably leading up to other shit that certain fans really want to see, but like, can we give olivia a damn break please? *eyeroll*

Also it’s just plain pathetic to only have two detectives. Like… I know molly replaced kelli, but we really still need another one… OR make the ada a more prominent feature, add in huang/a shrink, the ME, make there be more of a larger rotating cast like s8/9….

Omg fin lololol

“you have a visitor…” andits FUCKING MCGRATH ugh what a way to make things worse…

Okay… m’am… you were doing so well this season, and now we’re back to the super breathy acting.. why…

Im glad they keep mentioning Phoebe, like, the writers haven’t forgotten about her so that’s a good sign.

Im SORRY. She keeps a SHOTGUN in an UNLOCKED closet?? WITH NOAH IN THE HOUSE?!?!

Anyone else super confused as to how her ribs aren’t broken? Or at least cracked? Like… it really seems like it..

Okay… her lingering on amanda’s empty desk is giving me s13 flashbacks, like, amanda would have reached out…. She’s literally married to someone olivia sees on a regular basis.

I’m hot for Duarte now and I fully blame @bulletproof for that….

Wait… I just saw a commercial for Chicago PD… I watched the new ep right before my l&o viewings… was Hank even in this week’s ep??

Omg muncy was so fucking excited to take off the blazer lolololol

Who TF is this guy… detective Bruno…. I swear I know him from somewhere

Oh… okay… he’s been on svu 5 times before… (as different characters… the one being the husband of the woman who accused Stone of assault)

This ep is meh. There’s too much fin and olivia and this new fuck I don’t care about, give me the characters I *want* to see pls.

Seriously… why must police always think that people know about their HALF siblings?!? People be whores… I didn’t know I had THREE half brothers til I was 14…

Overall… this was underwhelming.

I know it’s a three parter (I believe?) so like, there’s more coming, but like… underwhelming as a whole. I’m not even going to bother to gif any of it this week. Sorry not sorry besties.

[kithtaehyung]

ok so i have so much to say about this last chapter my GOSH. it was a rollercoaster lololol.

1) im such a fan of your writing, you never cease to deliver amazing chapters and the way you develop the characters and plot is really well done. i read the whole 3tan series in a few days right before NYE so i was really into a special mood entering 2023 ☠️

2) your smut 🥲 fucking hell generally when people write stuff that is not vanilla they tend to neglect the trust and development between the characters but i really like how you put time and effort in the details to built that trust. anyway it’s a lot of word to say that it’s so fucking hot 🥵

3) this chapter was everything to me ajdkskdkdkd the way it started with angst and jealousy (my gosh yes) and ended with such a laugh. i loved the intimacy portrayed between mc and yg when they are laughing because of the brother being such a cockblocker jfc 🙄 sdkdkddkdk i like when the sex scene aren’t always super serious like being able to laugh is a really nice trait imo

4) mc and yoongi being absolute dumbasses will never cease to amaze me like how these two drop random personal details about each other in the middle of the conversation (i’ll be so stressed if i was taehyung 😭😭😭😭)

5) ALSO jin and nj getting suspicious 😳 ?

anywayyyyyy these are my thoughts fresh out of the oven after reader window, take care and can’t wait to read your next work ! 🫶

- 📀 (i hope this emoji isn’t already taken)

CD🥺💕💕 that’s a great emoji, and it’s not taken so it’s yours<3 so so happy you decided to reach out with your thoughts because I love hearing what y’all like about the chapters. It’s fun! And you even numbered them it’s like you know my love language LOL

1) damn, a few days right before NYE! That really would put you in a certain mood for the new year.. damn. As far as plots and writing goes, that’s good feedback, tysm🥹

2) AHHHHHH this is making me shy bc I’ve always seen smut as my weak point, since I never wrote it. But when I write it more and more, I get more comfortable with it, which allows me to not think as hard about the setup but more about all the little things that go into intimate moments.

3) oh gosh when they’re laughing while in bed?? That’s my favorite😭 because it’s so like, comforting when you can be yourself in every way while being that vulnerable. And it’s fcking cute that guys will crumble if you’re being cute af (and you bring out the “ughhhh stop.”) At least, from what I’ve learned😂 so keep it up, babes, if you’re being a damn fool you’re doing great💀 guys feel free to correct me but this is just my experience🥲

4) NOT THEM BEING MESSY😩😩😩 they have got to get their shit together lmao like they both slipped up bad. And Tae’s just over there like😐

5) are they???👀

Thank you so much, love!! This was amazing commentary and it made me smile🥳

[amazingmsme]

Omg that tag vid 🤣 I can completely picture the main trio just spinning around the watch post and feigning going left or right at the cafe tables, tossing chairs to try to slow down each other. As for your most flustering fics hmngh so many of yours put me in Lee mood, and this got long and turned into my rambling like a nerd- apologies in advance!

I'm gonna say the Stanley Parable fics Disobedience Shan't be Rewarded, and Is the Bucket Worth it, Stanley? are some of the ones that get me the most. I think it's the way you right the Narrator. I have a weakness for Gods using their powers to mess with someone helpless and those fics scratch that particular itch for me wonderfully. Also, mock sympathy, and condescension fuck me up so bad in Lers and you write it so well? 🫣

Ooh Hands To Yourself gets me bad though 😭 Pretty sure that fic made me hide my face in blush multiple times; Essek especially took me out in that good Lord I haven't even met him but you made me frightened to haha as an easily flustered Lee. 🤣 There was also quite a few neck and ear tword focus and given those are some of my own worse spots, I was scrunching up reading certain parts there lol. Oh! Another thing about Essek's characterization I loved- how he feigned genuine anger, because I would absolutely panic and trip over myself to people please out of fear and fall right into his trap 🤣 Then after it comes out he's not actually upset and my bad anxiety would go away and turn into anticipation, like right before i go on stage for a performance. I think I'd more just get flustered, jumpy and skittish.

I thought your Castlevania fic The Moderator and the Monster are One in the Same was also super cute; I also wrote an Alucard/Reader fic a while back based on the library scene since it took me out. Still haven't finished the show because I don't want it to end/make me sad haha.

Fuck Off and Let Me Sulk took me out jfc, just found that now and we have similar tword thoughts lmao- Alucard calling Trevor out? I am always down bad for mean, teasy as Hell, Alucard. His voice and mannerisms kill me, and his adorable back and forth with Trevor at the end was so cute?

Okay no more rambling I swear! Hope you had a good rest and that this is semi-coherent; I'm gonna pass out now cause it's nearing 7am 🤣 Getting creative in the middle of the night is both blessing and curse

LXGSMAHSKD THIS IS LIKE THE NICEST THING ANYONE’S EVER SAID OMG THANG YOU ILY!

I remember having so much fun with the Stanley Parable ones, especially the first one! It was pure self indulgence rewarded by an unexpected shower of attention lmao. & omg my sweet baby boy Essek, trust me you’re gonna love this prissy bitch once you meet him! I was literally like a horse trapped in that box before the race & once I officially met him I shot off like a rocket! I really need to write more critickle role tbh cause I have so many ideas! Although I gotta admit, I’m not sure that one’s mine, so can’t take credit for that one, but I do have a long ass shadowgast fic that just so happens to have a very teasy Essek. & don’t get me started on castlevania! Omg I fell so hard for those boys! Their dynamic is so fun & their banter is hilarious! They need their own get along shirt, I feel like it would end badly lzavakdhkq but yeah, Alucard is a teasy bastard & he loves to bother Trevor, & the human is just too cute for his own good

Please don’t apologize for rambling! This made me really happy & it’s so cool to hear about what fics y’all really like! Especially when they’re ones I really enjoyed making! Wish I got better sleep, but the fucking construction woke me up & bug man is coming to spray, so fuck it, we ball. But omg please get some sleep! I mean, I’ve definitely been there after a night of endless creative flow, so I absolutely feel you. Sleep tight, & hope you have sweet dreams! & to everyone else… good morning! 😂

[it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined]

jfc honestly it has been some kind of a fucking evening so far tonight

[salvatoreren]

My thoughts on the Haikyuu Oneshot

I screamed

Lmao i thought the fandom was joking about a oneshot so imagine my surprise when i actually saw it lol

-Kuroo and Oikawa talking udhsja, we got the interaction! IODHSJKDH KUROO FLATTERING OIKAWA ABOUT BEING A TOPCLASS WORLD STAR JHAJHD MAN KNOWS HOW TO PLAY HIS CARDS

USHIWAKA AND KUROO RUNNING I LOVE THAT, Ushi is like hey man you dont have to do this, isdjhkjadh he's so cute, i cant believe i found him scary before, ALSO LMAO KUROO TELLING USHI HOW POPULAR HE IS TOWARDS KIDS AND HOW THEY THINK HE'S THE TERMINATOR JSDHJF

VOLLEYBALL ROBOT, I WANT TO CRY HE'S SUCH A DORK

AHH YESS THE MAN, THE MYTH THE LEGEND, THE LOML KAGEYAMA TOBIO, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE'S SO AMAZED TO FIND OUT THAT HE'S PLAYING WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A HIGH SET POINT SHUJFDKJ HIS FACE! I LOVE HIM PLS

AND BITCH AGAIN THE BIT WHERE HE'S AWARE HE'S HOT, YOU ARE! JDHJSAH, THE HOT GUY SETTER HES FINE WITH IT AND HAPPY BECAUSE ITS A GATEWAY TO PEOPLE LOVING VOLLEYBALL, KAGEYAMA PLS I LOVE YOU

OKAY I LOVED KUROO'S SMILE WHEN HE SAID THAT

OH MY GOD DAICHI AND SUGA EATING TOGETHER??? SUDIHAD SUGA JOKING ABT KUROO IN JAIL

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABT KUROO CALLING YACHI YACCHAN?

AND KENMA??? HALLELUJAH

BRO DID WE JUST SEE NOYA? LIKE THE NISHINOYA YUU??? HE LITERALLY JUST WALKED WHILE KENMA WAS FILMING UHSDAJKD I MISS HIM

BROOOO AKAASHI??? BABY BOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?

AND THE SUN, MY BABY, SHOYO, I MISS HIM SO MUCH TOO, HE LOOKED SO GOOD

KENMA'S BYE BYEEEEE, UGHHH ID KILL TO HEAR YUKI KAJI SAY THAT

IM CRYING JFC, WHEN KUROO HAD FLASHBACKS ABOUT HINATA STILL THINKING THAT GAMES ARE OPPORTUNITIES TO HIM!!! DHSJDH I LOVE HIS DEVELOPMENT ISTG

GUYS WE GOT AN ATSUMU AND OIKAWA INTERACTION, THE WORLD IS LITERALLY ENDING OH MY FUCKING GOD

YO. YO. YOOOOO DID WE JUST SEE SUNA???

AHHHHH, LOWK IWAOI REUNION, AND GOSHIKI AND HINATA??? THEY'RE LITERALLY STILL BABIES

LMFAO KAGS, BOKUTO AND USHI TALKING ABOUT WHITE CHARCOAL

"WHITE CHARCOAL IS CHARCOAL" LMAO BOKUTO

HOSHIUMI LOOKS SO DONE WITH THOSE IDIOTS

AND YAKU, THE UNDERRATED KING YAKU, WHY DOES HE LOOKS SO GOOD AND COOL, PLS

I LOVED THAT BIT OF HYAKUZAWA THINKING BACK TO ZOOTOPIA

"...NO ONE IS GOING TO DIE" *GLANCES AT DAICHI* LOL IM SORRY

AT LEAST WE SAW LEV, YACHI, ASAHI, AND KIYOKO,

TANAKA IS LITERALLY WORKING ON A KIDS VOLLEYBALL SEMINAR, ISDJHFSH I LOVE HIM ICANT

AND KOGANE, TSUKKI AND YAMAGUCHI

THE KAGEHINA HANDSHAKE PLS DJSJSJDBD

PROPS TO KUROO AND FURUDATE IN BRINGING THE GANG BACK

In conclusion, this chapter made me realize how much i miss and love haikyuu, like im not normally the one to scream and gush about new content being released on a fandom i've been but haikyuu's just rlly different

haikyuu literally is a masterpiece, im so glad i watched it, the characters are just so loveable hence me repetitively saying how i love this, i miss this and shit lol

If you havent watched or read haikyuu you should, it will break your heart on some certain parts but the series has a lot of good parts it'll overpower that lol I SWEAR GUYS

i literally cant wait to see the rest of the manga be adapted, i love this series jfc

[fangorl-trash]

In the Dark

The Mandalorian x fem!Reader

Summary: you and din have an intimate bonding moment...in the dark.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: SOFT. SHY. MANDO. uhh... slight mentions of a dark past, but it’s vague af, like not even warning worthy BUT JUST IN CASE LOL. curse words. there’s no smut, but if yall want a part 2, lemme know ;) if i forget anything, lemme know lol

A/N: first of all, this gif makes me FEEL things jfc wow i adore din. secondly, hi there lol! this is definitely a self-indulge piece lmao, but i hope you guys enjoy nonetheless! i can promise there are no season 2 spoilers, cause i’d like to think it takes place between the two seasons. aaaand this was all based off a brainrot hour i had (you can read it here, if you really want!) so...yeah lmao. Enjoy y’all! :)

The night before was just like any other night. Chuckles and giggles and stories whispered and shared back and forth. Hands itching to get closer, to connect wholeheartedly, but never having the courage to do so. The calm before tomorrow’s storm of bounty hunting.

A small, yellow-tinted light above the shared cot illuminated the two. She thought he looked like a guardian angel, the way it shone off of his armor dully. He thought she looked like a goddess, the soft light giving her a halo.

They were hopelessly in love.

Y/N and the Mandalorian. A dynamic duo, of sorts. Two different puzzle pieces from two different puzzle sets, yet they somehow fit together perfectly. She loved him for his tenacity, his fierceness in battle, and his big heart he only showed to her. He loved her for her kindness, her empathy, and the way her eyes sparkled when he came back to the ship after a long day.

They were hopelessly in love with one another, yet neither has said it. Maybe to both of them, saying it was not enough; the actions and moments shared between the two was what truly defined it all. The way he purchased antique books for her to read, because she mentioned it once. The way she grabbed extra blankets from the closet because he got cold at night easily.

The night before was just like any other night. It was calm and quiet and pleasant; almost too pleasant for Din’s liking. In the line of work of a Mandalorian, pleasant never lasted long. But Maker, he swore that time stopped when he saw you that next morning.

When he looked over to see your sleeping form, his breath hitched in his throat. The yellow light above you was dim, but showcased your features brightly and beautifully. You laid on your side, arm tucked under your ear and other hand laid at your side. Your hair fell over your forehead and cheeks.

You looked like a dream.

His gloved hand reached out and tucked a strand or two behind your ear, so he could see his beautiful girl. After all you’ve been through...you were still Y/N and Din. Din and Y/N.

A feeling of gratitude overcame him suddenly as he gazed upon your angelic form. You deserved everything good in this world. The prettiest of jewels, that sparkled in the starlight. The largest of feasts with your favorite intergalactic meals and beverages. Whatever novel that you craved to read next.

He would go to the ends of the galaxy for you. Anything to see that smile.

He prayed everything he did for you was enough, even if it was all so small and minute. You deserved so much better than what he was giving you.

His gratitude took a negative, insecure turn. He knew what you really wanted, what you really deserved that he couldn’t give you: physical love. He can’t kiss you. He can’t hold you. He can’t look in your eyes and tell you how much you meant to him.

He thought of himself as selfish. He wanted all of those things and more. He wanted to feel your lips against his. He wanted to look in your eyes, and your eyes only. He wanted to hold you close without beskar separating you. He wanted to feel your skin against his fingertips, because holy fuck, you just look so soft and so fucking warm.

With a soft sigh, his leather-clad fingertips brush down your cheek and over the curve of your arm. Dank farrik...what he would do to hold you. Hold you properly.

Something clicked in his brain all of a sudden. Why is he being such a pussy? He’s THE Mandalorian, for Maker’s sake. He knows just the solution.

~~~

That night, you dreamed of your past life. Before you met Din. Before you both met the Child. Though your dream wasn’t a nightmare, it was still dark and dull. You honestly couldn’t wait until it was all over.

And then you felt lips on the inside of your wrist. Slightly chapped and slightly wet, with small hairs tickling you as well. A gentle hold on your fingers. The kisses slowly trailed up the inside of your forearm, curving against your elbow before continuing their trek up the rest of your arm to your shoulder. It tickles, you thought, shifting under the stranger’s hold.

Your eyes fluttered open with a soft groan. A blanket of pitch black overwhelmed your vision. Panic struck your heart. What in the world is going on right now?

“Good morning,” a voice spoke, breath fanned across your exposed shoulder. Shy, but certain. A low grovel, but not due to a helmet’s voice amplifier.

“D...Din,” you mumbled, fingers grasping his tightly. Your heart skipped a beat at the feeling of...of him. “Wh-What...what’s going on? I-I can’t see.”

He took a pause. “I turned off the lights.” Another pause. “I just...wanted to...”

Even though his voice trailed off, you knew exactly what he wanted to say.

This was new territory for the both of you. Neither of you were scared, per say, but...nervous, cautious. Your voice and your actions matched how you felt. After you sat up and crossed your legs, you reached out with your vacant hand on bated breath. “M-May I?” You requested quietly, hesitatingly. Your eyes scanned about, but you couldn’t find him within the dark ahead of you, even though you were barely a foot apart.

You learned that in certain situations Din’s silence meant yes.

Your fingers made purchase with his bicep, but you backed away just as quickly as you touched him.

Okay, so maybe you were scared. Just a little.

You both sat there silently, slowly counting the moments before one of you made a move. The ship thrummed around you two, but the blacked out bunker was quiet overall. After the bounty hunter released a shallow breath, he lifted the hand that held yours, bringing it to his cheek with a Din-like grace and sureness. A smile stretched both of your lips at the feeling; the feeling of you actually touching. Wholeheartedly Connecting.

His stubble was a pleasant surprise. It felt scratchy under your soft fingertips, but it felt...it all felt like home. Your fingers cupped the back of his neck tenderly, your thumb brushing against his cheekbone. His own fingers brushed against your left upper arm and shoulder delicately, feeling your goosebumps rise slowly as he brushes against the strap of your tank top.

You shuffled a bit closer to Din, now in between his open and bent legs. You didn’t know you were holding your breath in until you let it out, shaky and soft. His own breath reached your forehead, delicate and quiet. Your other hand lifted up, hand finding its place on his chest. Once again, you were pleasantly surprised to touch his bare skin; soft and warm to the touch. Your fingertips yearned to travel, and before you could stop your curious thoughts, your middle and ring fingers brushed against a rough scar. It was a jagged, diagonal line, only about three inches in length. Dry, scabbed-over skin, a story untold. You suspected he had battle scars galore, but actually feeling one was...shocking.

The reality of this man’s career suddenly hit you like a shot from a blaster. This man...this man that you loved.

How many of these untold stories were near deaths? How many stories would have ended without Din back in your arms?

You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat before your fingers continued their journey, a confident spark behind their actions. They ventured across his beautiful canvas, blindingly mapping out the divets, marks, and bruises of his skin. Your hands gripped and caressed at his shoulders and arms, your fingers brushed against his cheeks and jaw. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest, and the banging of his heartbeat. You couldn’t help but smile at that. Other than the fingers on your arm, Din remained unmoving under your touch; if he was being honest, he had no clue what to do.

You finally smiled as you felt his hair, fisting tufts of it gently. It was coarse and curly, but you didn’t mind. “What color is it?” Your voice was hoarse, crackling softly in the dark room.

“Brown,” he said after a moment, a small smile of his own. His own fingers made their way up your arm, past your shoulder, and cupped the back of your neck like you did to him. His pointer finger rubbed back and forth in a small motion, a small habit the bounty hunter grew over the months. It was...very different, to feel you under his touch like this. He’s held your hand and stroked your hair and cupped the back of your neck tenderly, but..touching you this way was new territory for the Mandalorian. It was scary, in a way, especially for him.

He ventured on with a brave face.

His other hand found it’s way to your calf, slowly and carefully kneading the skin. You wondered if this was the first time he’s...he’s felt skin since he was a child. You wondered what he was thinking in the moment, if he thought you were beautiful or not. You dismissed those thoughts to the best of your ability. This was your moment, and you’ll be damned if your own brain ruined it. His hand cupped the back of your knee, his whole chest craning down to press a sweet peck to your knee cap. His eyes closed for a brief moment, embracing the feeling of your skin on his lips in the brief moment they were in contact. A shiver ran up your spine; now you remained unmoving, frozen solid by Din’s hot, pillowy lips against your skin. His hand then trailed up the outside of your thigh to your hip. He skirted over your cotton shorts to your waist, gently caressing...you.

He thought you felt enchanting under his touch. You were absolutely perfect. And he loved you so much.

Nerves pierced his heart. His small smile fell. He lifted his hand to cup your other cheek, both of his thumbs brushing along your cheekbones. Your hands stopped in their tracks, the nape of his neck under one palm and his right shoulder under the other. “Can I...may I...”

You didn’t let him finish. The way you leaned in was carefully calculated, nerves an underlying color of it all. Din sat straight-backed, unmoving once again. He was so scared to mess this up for you. I mean...your first kiss shared. He imagined how much that meant to you. It meant a lot to him, too.

You proceeded to lean forward until your lips were pressed against his as your eyes fluttered close. Just as quickly as you two connected, you were apart once again. A small and short kiss, a test for you both. Din leaned forward this time, without anymore hesitation, capturing your lips as he pulled your body into his.

You weren’t surprised Din’s first real kiss was going to be...well...Din-like. Methodical. Purposeful. Caring underneath all of the layers. You were surprised at the fact that Din’s first kiss felt...like destiny. Like this moment was written in prophecies years ago, and it��ll be written in history texts for years to come.

You were surprised because his lips moved against yours like he knew what he was doing.

Your arms found their way wound around his neck, and his wound around your waist. His kiss was patient and sweet and really fuckin’ good. His mustache tickled your top lip, but you didn’t mind one bit.

Right before he pulled away, his cheeks quirked into a smile against your lips before falling to their neutral state.

“I, um...” you began, eyes sparkling in the darkness. You wondered if his baby browns shone the same way, tracing your figure in the darkness. Even though you had so much to say, your voice became stuck, lodged deep in your throat. Tears sprung to your eyes.

He did this for you, didn’t he? He turned off the lights in your guys’ bunker. He took off his helmet. He...he kissed you. Dank farrik, he just kissed you. And he let you touch his hair and his face and...him.

Even though the pair of you weren’t doing anything particularly sexual, every bit of this moment that you shared in the dark felt more intimate and vulnerable than you could ever hope for, dream for, ask for.

The cotton in your mouth expanded slowly, ridding you silent and helpless in the arms of the man you loved. Of the man you would sacrifice everything for. Does he feel the same? Would he do the same for you? A tear tugged down the apple of your cheek as you buried your face into the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around him tighter. You sniffled softly as his hands caressed your back and hips.

“What’s wrong, darling?” He questions, holding you close to his chest. His right hand rubbed small circles in your back and he sat patiently awaiting your response, but the cotton continued to expand into your mouth.

“I...I, uh...” You begged the cotton to be rid, you prayed for your tongue to move and say the words. The three words that have been dancing around the two of you day and night, for months now, being said over and over again in your mind.

Somehow, Din knew what you were going to say. He was positive you could hear his rapid heartbeat, but if you did, you didn’t show it. He craned his neck down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Then, he leaned down to your ear and kissed your lobe, his breath hot against your skin. The lumps in your throat melted away.

“I love you,” you finally said.

The buzzing energy in the bunker seemed to still and quicken all at once. The humming you heard before silenced. Din pulled you closer to his chest, his arms tightening their grip around you. He didn’t say anything for awhile; you were sure he fell back asleep, leaving your confession unheard.

“I love you too,” he said.

You couldn’t see his eyes or his mouth forming the words. But you could feel his love, feel his dedication for you. Under his fingertips, in his arms. It was all love for you. Tears returned to your eyes. You hugged him even tighter, burying your face into his shoulder even more. Anything to bring him closer to you. Anything to feel him more.

The two of you stayed like that for what seemed like hours. You actually fell back asleep, filled with more content and love than ever before. Din put you back to bed quietly and carefully, tucking you under the wool blanket you pulled from the closet the night before. He lifted one hand to cup your cheek, craning his neck to plant a lingering kiss on your other.

For the first time in a long time, he didn’t want to get back in his armor. He wanted to lay here, beside you, mask off and lights on. He wanted to see your smile as his eyes reached yours. Responsibility tugged at his heart and his brain. He knew what he had to do, what he was born to do, even if he hated it in this very moment. This is the way.

When you woke up again, you were alone in a dimly lit bunker. A hefty sigh fell past your lips. Maybe it was all a dream. You touched your lips with the pad of your fingers as your eyes fluttered close. You thought to yourself, if it was a dream, then why did his lips feel so real?

You changed into your normal garb and climbed out of the bunker. After lacing up your boots, you climbed the ladder into the cockpit. Like every morning, the Mandalorian was at the helm and the Child was in his designated seat. Din pressed buttons and steered the Razor Crest stoically, and the youngling played with his small metal ball. You approached the child with a smile and a pat to his head, in which he gurgled and grinned at your touch.

You then walked over to the Mandalorian’s right side, boots slowly and softly padding against the metal floor. His head remains forward, even when you place your left hand on his shoulder. Cotton fills your mouth again. What are you even supposed to say?

It takes you a moment before words form on your tongue. “Thank you,” you say softly. “I...I care for you...a lot. I...I love you. And I appreciate you. Thank you.”

His head turns now, looking right at you. You wondered if his baby browns were looking into your eyes right now, calculating what to say and what to do. Din lifts his left, gloved hand to your cheek. Underneath the leather, you can feel his warm, delicate touch that you were able to feel this morning.

“Anything for you, my love.”

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

fic ask time: 35, 4, 5, 6, 12, 16

(assume everything is going to be The Mandalorian/TBOBF-centric but I'm gonna be veering here and there, too)

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

So I haven't had much brain to sit and read in a very, very long time; any writers I list are from Back Before Internet 2.0 And Adulting Ate My Life. Tolkien and Vonnegut always go on this list. There is also Stephen R. Lawhead who wrote an amazing series about the King Arthur legends called The Pendragon Cycle and also a fantasy trilogy called The Dragon King Saga. I tend to follow books and fics rather than writers so that's about it. Sad answer, I know.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Oh no I am the proud parent, I love all my children (except for everyone stuck in a locked collection because I am always torn between reasons for deleting and reasons for preserving). But when it comes down to it... I have to say it's The Suns because 1) I plotted a whole ass story and finished it, 2) I actually illustrated that sucker, and 3) I finished it. My biggest fear is writing a story that either collapses because the plot can't support it or never finishes because I burned out/was lured away by shiny. Is it the best fic? I'm not sure. But damn, I did that. I looked at my past self's failures and said, "Not today, Satan," and wrote a 1st draft, a 2nd draft, and illustrated every chapter of it.

And I want to do it again? JFC.

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

I love writing banter. I love writing characters bouncing off each other. Sometimes the sparks fly and they just speak to each other so easily and comfortably, and then I have to stop because it hurts just how easily they converse. Yeah, dinluke, I'm looking at you.

Also, I love plotting. I love wrangling all these threads and turning them into a cohesive whole. The hard part is actually writing the damn fucking thing.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

*screams in threequelfic*

It's the little things, like a rando thought popping into my head after writing a whole scene about Luke telling Din about Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru and returning to the Lars homestead for the first time in years. What happens if Din does go back to Aq Vetina, and how do I make it worse?

And how do I make it about Din coming to terms with what it means to be a Mandalorian while Mandalore awaits, oh and also the New Republic is on the verge of war with a certain Chiss admiral...? The scale is stupid big which is why the only person we follow is Din Djarin, the extremely relatable Tired Adult with Main Character Syndrome. The plot comes in five parts and I wrote 2 parts for NaNo, and now I have to get off my ass, finish wrangling the rest of the plot, and get to writing how this Din's story ends.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

*is a deer in the headlights*

What are tropes, fuck, what tropes are there, fuck, I don't know what tropes there are, fuckkkkkkkkkkk-

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I have two dinluke plots burning holes in my gdocs. One is a Mummy AU because every fandom deserves at least 1 Mummy AU. Hell, I wrote one for Dragon Age and it's one of the best things I ever wrote.

It's simple. The Clone Wars happened but Not Like That, and Ani disappeared during a secret mission to discover a secret weapon to give the Republic the edge, except the Republic won anyway so whoopsie. Luke and Leia grow up knowing nothing about their father's fate so they decide to find out and their research and prying into records and pestering people who worked with their father eventually leads them (and their pilot/Leia's beau Han Solo and his bff Chewie) to Nevarro because it's the rumored resting place of the thing their father was looking for, a supposed living superweapon that fuels itself by eating the Force. Problem is, a Mandalorian sect called the Death Watch is guarding that resting place. Lucky for the twins, Nevarro's security forces apprehended a member of the Death Watch for acts of sabotage against the Republic's Moff Gideon's convoy. Leia can talk to Magistrate Greef Karga about releasing this Din Djarin into their custody and Luke can go talk to the Death Watch Mandalorian, and they can also try to figure out why the fuck Gideon is here.........

The other one proposes Inquisitor Luke who's tasked by Emperor Palpatine with tracking down the bounty hunter who took a job capturing and delivering a Jedi padawan but ran off with the bounty, and the Imperial credits and beskar Moff Gideon's agent paid him. It's his final test to prove... something or another, and boy does he fail hard. This idea also proposes Ben Kenobi survives and starts teaching Leia the ways of the Force, so we're running the fuck off with all these "What if?" premises. This one's the least likely to actually get written but hey it's fun to daydream about.

Ask me anything from this list of numbers!

[vtforpedro]

health update - long post

hi everyone! I think it's been a month and a half or so since my last update I saw a rheumatologist, had MRIs done, and got my results back from my hematologist SO cancer: still undetectable in my blood, check every 3 months and hope it doesn't show up for a long time lol \o/ I don't think I can say I'm in remission until a certain amount of time has passed but I hope I can say that one day MRIs: actually show some possible improvement with the chiari and spinal fluid flow? and if there IS improvement (like the radiologist who wrote the report had the MRI from a year ago as reference and his findings were all 'normal' compared to april 2020, but it was hard to get an answer out of my neurologist and neurosurgeon if there was solid evidence of physical improvement). but yeah IF there's improvement, that is highly indicative of IIH because my neurosurgeon told me when people with IIH lose weight, the chiari often corrects itself because there's less pressure and more room in the skull for the cerebellar tonsils to be in a normal position. regular chiari that you're born with doesn't do that lol so if there IS improvement with weight loss, then yeah, IIH. even if they don't wanna put in the diagnostic code for it without a lumbar puncture sigh lol I hate typing this because I'm so paranoid it'll all go to shit if I talk about it, but there have been improvements as I've lost weight. I seem to have a couple weeks where my head isn't so severe, mostly manageable with a few awful days. then I'll have a few weeks of it being Really Really bad with a few not-so-awful days. which IIH can do this sort of 'remission' thing but considering it was like 24/7 with no breaks for a year I'd say this is moving in the direction I want it to completely changed my diet a handful of months ago and adjusting it still to be even healthier/more fulfilling. I started using the Noom app (paid sub version) cause it's so focused on psychology instead of 'dieting' and building habits that are sustainable in the long, long-term. I really love it so far. the routine of doing it at the same time every day has already made me feel better mentally about my weight loss journey despite my struggles with losing weight, I am officially down 20lbs \o/ they say for improving/curing IIH, you need to lose 10-20% of your body weight. well, 10% down! time to lose another 20, but I don't find it intimidating and I'm not dreading it. it's hard to have hope, especially on really bad weeks, but I'm taking it one day at a time. definitely not cured but I'm aiming for 40lbs more (so 60 altogether) and by then, maybe, just maybe.... rheumatologist/autoimmune disorder results: so I went to a rheum cause I got that positive autoimmune disorder blood test with the possibility of lupus or scleroderma. she said that she gets so many hematology patients because leukemia and lymphoma have blood antibodies, so it will almost always show up as positive on this antibody test and most people actually won't have an additional autoimmune disorder. I don't have a lot of symptoms of lupus or scleroderma according to her, so she told me don't worry about autoimmune disorders for three months. don't think about them. we'll repeat labs then and see what they say. so that's good news so far and I hope it remains that way 15%+ of the population will test positive on the same test without having any health issues, which I found interesting. and I asked since I already have an autoimmune disorder, tho it's endocrine versus rheumatic, if that would also trigger a positive result and she said yes it would! so yeah... I hope by late July I can still say I don't have an additional autoimmune disorder I see a gastroenterologist tomorrow for the bloating/abdominal pain and other stuff I've been having. I have a feeling I'll be given some antacids (or w/e they're called when it's prescription strength) and that will improve. but jfc I'm up to eight specialists now lol NINE doctors are following my health god it's such a shitty feeling especially when I can barely trust any of them. at

least they all believe me now, but it cost me my quality of life and mental health to even get to this point so I'm still feeling pretty fucking bitter and angry about it all you know what's really hard about completely changing my diet + starting new medications/supplements? for some reason at the beginning of all of this when I was experiencing repeated trauma at the ER, my brain developed a phobia of allergic reactions, despite the fact that I've never had one for food/medicine (I'm talking anaphylactic reactions). so now every single new thing I eat, every new med or supplement, I go through panic attacks for days on end thinking I'm going to die before it starts easing. also, anxiety makes your throat feel like it's closing up and that it's harder to breathe already so lmao fun times. I literally never thought about this in all my life and I never even experienced an allergic reaction to develop this intense fear, so you know. fuck doctors for putting me through this when it was all so unnecessary sigh anyway. still can't watch videos, tv, movies, read, bend over, walk for longer than 5 minutes, and can't talk for long either because it'll trigger a head episode. I'm terrified I won't be able to do these things ever again, but I'm still aiming for my goal weight no matter what and I know I can get there bouncing between misery and hopelessness, and slightly less misery and some hope right now, but I guess that's better than it's been for a year, right? sorry for rambling. I feel like a lot has gone on but I've also had the biggest gaps between doc appts in a while which is a relief just because I can't stand being in medical buildings or around doctors anymore completely vaccinated too, so that's another relief, but I'm wearing masks until americans get their heads out of their asses and we start seeing little to no community spread cause I am still immunocompromised. wouldn't it be nice if people like, idk, cared about each other ok sorry! I hope you're all well and healthy and safe. I love you very much and I'm grateful for your support, forever and always! <3

[mrskurono]

“It’s not even waka”

Yeah, I definitely noticed that too. It’s like rather than writing for him specifically a lot of people just take their cues from popular writers in other fandoms and apply that to Beni, even if it doesn’t necessarily mesh with his character, and you know I actually JUST read a different post talking about this kind of thing. OP was asked what trends they thought were negatively impacting the writing community and they said it’s the overarching vibe of a lack of sincerity that focuses more on what will get them notes rather than creating content from a genuine place of enjoyment. And while I definitely understand the desire to be popular or wanting to be THE blog people point new fans to for content, I think it absolutely has the effect of making everything feel derivative. Redundant even. Like, when I go in search of fic for a certain character I want THAT character and not just a cardboard cutout with their name attached to it, you know?

And I liked Beni a lot too so I wasn’t even all that annoyed with it when I first started looking into FF content but then I got soured real fast when it was basically the same fic over and over again … and I’d read the exact same thing in five other fandoms. 😂 Of course none of this is to say I’m a perfect writer or that everything I churn out is 100% unique, never seen before, hot off the presses breaking news level shit buuuuuuut I generally do try my best to put my own spin on things while staying as true to the character as possible.

Like, okay, here’s another example (as if I haven’t said enough already cjemxkakdk) Dr Stone doesn’t get a whole lot of content to begin with and I’ve all but given up on reading self insert stuff from other creators because a lot of them take their cues from popular tropes in other fandoms, like being sexually aggressive or demanding, hard dom shit, and then apply it to Senkuu and it just doesn’t feel right. It’s very much a cookie cutter fill in with his name on it and it’s like … just because it works for Bakugou that doesn’t mean it’s going to work for everyone else. 😂

None of this is meant to be discouraging, mind you, I would absolutely LOVE to see these writers grow into their own and create stellar content that knocks me out of my socks but I don’t see that happening as long as there’s so much focus on writing what’s popular rather than what you love. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense or if it comes off contradictory, I just want to see more passion for the individual characters themselves rather than all this copy paste popular thing + popular thing, especially since I think that’s what leads to a LOT of the plagiarism we see in fandom spaces? Anyway I’ll shut up now. 😅

This is a hot button topic constantly on my blog bc character depiction is so important to me. Mostly the reason I actually write. Dissecting a character, adapting their tonality and voice to different situations and as a whole maintaining the original authors idea of the character is super fucking important to me. As a fanfic author making things believable to said character has always been my idea of a "good fic" Because frankly I want people to read my works and either hear that characters voice or vividly picture said character doing just that. And I'll be honest in my 10+ years in fandom spaces, things have heavily gone downhill since tik tok.

Like take the time to think about a character. Jfc if you're a writer the LEAST you can do is fucking do a character analysis on your favs (why are they your favs if you're not thinking about how they act and talk??). That's the hole point of writing???? And yet??? Y'all are just playing fucking mad libs with the same theme/kink over and over again??

'm sorry I'm a salty old tired fanfic writer who hates 90% of fanfics lets be honest. There's a reason I won't read fanfics. I don't like them. And especially not anymore. If you're gonna be untrue to a character just to get notes or cram them into your kink then I'm just not interested. Every fic I read feels plagiarized and like I've seen it on twenty other blogs. RIP I'll just keep writing for myself since everyone seems to share one braincell and it's depressing at times.

[gffa]

#SOLAD SPOILERS and #SOLAD REPLIES if you want to either avoid spoilers or avoid the salt!  I would also encourage everyone to read the story for themselves, because people are going to see things differently, going to register things differently, and everyone should judge for themselves! Continuing the discussion from this post and this post @duchess-of-mandalore replied:

Thanks for clarifying this. I totally agree with this. The thing is, I don’t see it as “prioritizing the romantic relationship” as much as just … forgetting that other moments of rage already existed (I mentioned before that the author feels like a casual fan, and I’m sticking by that).

I think the author felt that because he chose to view Obi-Wan’s rage through The Lawless (which probably seemed like an attractive choice, given that it’s the highest rated episode short of The Siege of Mandalore), he had to keep the story about The Lawless (also, when you have to get through the whole episode and you only have 30 pages, I get that there’s a lot that needs to get glossed over).

But you can’t just pick one episode and examine it within the a vacuum.

Because you’re absolutely right. I’m a diehard Obitine shipper, but the author did not convince me at all that this is the first time Obi-Wan has felt rage. Far from it. There should have been much more about Qui-Gon (where Obi-Wan’s reaction feels much more rage-filled to me), and definitely more reflection on Maul, especially his taunting of Obi-Wan.

We’re obviously in agreement that this episode does not show rage. It shows grief. And so unfortunately, whether you’re an Obitine shipper or not, I don’t have much positive to say about this story, because it feels like a complete misrepresentation of this episode and the character of Obi-Wan Kenobi (in regards to his past, and how he’s feeling at this point in time), in a way that makes me wonder how it came to print in this current status.

It’s interesting how we interpret the amount of romance in this story, because I felt like it was very obvious that it was a romantic relationship, that Obi-Wan may have called her a “friend”, but also he repeats the line of how he would have left the Jedi Order for her, and I don’t think you can divorce that scene--or the entire Obitine relationship, honestly--from being a romantic one.  So, whatever they do with it, however it’s described, it’s very obviously meant as a romantic one, for me.  (Though, I can see how you feel it was the most aromantic version of their relationship yet and found it dissatisfying and I hear you on that.) Further, what frustrated me about the story was that it’s still a) fridging Satine for Obi-Wan’s manpain (not the fault of the story, that was already in TCW, but it’s important because--) b) not really Satine’s story.  I have two problems with this, in that it prioritized this relationship over Obi-Wan’s relationship with Qui-Gon, despite that Obi-Wan absolutely had dealt with rage before--in TPM!  In this anthology in the Maul story!, that even Anakin’s scene felt like it was half there just to put us in the frame of mind of comparing Obitine and Anidala. I found this frustrating because Satine deserves a story that’s hers.  Not Obi-Wan thinking about how she wore certain colors or flowers to remind Mandalore of what they could one day be again.  That’s a lovely sentiment, but give it to me from Satine, not from Obi-Wan.  And I found it frustrating because I don’t buy for one second that Obi-Wan didn’t understand why he couldn’t Leeroy Jenkins his way onto Mandalore and that he would be bitter about it.  Obi-Wan has always understood the politics and how and when to get around them, for him to throw that out the window felt like, oh, well, of course, because it’s Satine.  The romantic relationship.  But it’s also coming on the heels of using his relationship with Anakin to be about Obitine vs Anidala, it’s coming on the heels of swiping aside Obi-Wan’s using the dark side/anger in both fights with Maul because of Qui-Gon. It comes with the context of the description of how--in the moments I’ve giffed above--that Obi-Wan was feeling a rage so powerful that he would raze everything to the ground for it, because Satine died, and what brings him back?  Not his Jedi values that he lives his entire life by, but that Satine wouldn’t want him to.  I don’t buy for one second that Obi-Wan wouldn’t pull himself back because he lives by the principles his Order has taught him. lacependragon said: 

I can’t with long words or descriptions but I bought this ebook just to read this story to keep up on this conversation and jfc I have never been so disappointed. I know 12 year old boys who understand Obi’s character better than this.

I get that sometimes people just have different interpretations of characters and I realize we all get invested in our views of them, as well as I feel like a lot of the elements of this story are close.  Like, I was so intrigued by the idea of Obi-Wan struggling with the dark side!  Because the dark side isn’t just anger, it’s also fear and sorrow and suffering!  It would have been SO EASY to explore those things, because they’re written all over his face! Further, it ignores so much of the bigger context of Obi-Wan’s character, like just how important those other relationships are and how they’ve shaped him.  Understands anger in a new way?  Different from his anger at Qui-Gon’s death?  Because, yes, he was sorrowful after he’d cut Maul in half, but when he did that?  He was FURIOUS, it was right there on his face, too. thebiscuiteternal said: 

Excuse me? Obi-Wan, who paced and *snarled* at Maul behind the energy gates after Qui-Gon was impaled? *That* Obi-Wan had never felt rage towards Maul until he killed Satine? Oh, fuck this story.

I KNOW, RIGHT?  I’m not even the biggest defender of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s relationship (though, of course it’s important) but the sheer DISRESPECT of saying that Obi-Wan understood anger in a new way after Satine died in pretty much THE EXACT SAME MANNER as Qui-Gon! And @watsonerr says something I’ve been struggling to articulate well on this reply:

Another thing I didn’t agree with was how Obi-Wan kept being angry at the council, considering how he not only is not the type to ignore the bigger picture, but also how he knows well that sending republic troops there to free everyone would be extremly risky, especially that they were at war and the republic and Mandalore had a treaty. Exactly why I’ll stick with the deleted scene from The Lawless in which he says “The policies of the jedi and the chancellor often don’t meet eye to eye these days.” But at the same time, I also think it was probably meant to be this way, because Obi-Wan was emotional and had a clouded judgement the whole chapter for obvious reasons, and he fell right into Maul’s trap. And that’s a nice parallel to Obi-Wan’s attitude in Old Friends Not Forgotten, where he knew better than to let emotions cloud his judgement.

I’d be more forgiving if the final ending weren’t, “I understand anger in a way I never have before.” which makes it seem like Obi-Wan’s anger at the council was objective and not part of him falling into the trap of attachment.  I’m still not sure I could buy bitterness from him or the lack of understanding the political ramifications, but I’d at least be able to sort of see it. I mean, this is what he says in that same story:  “Few in the bustling hangar took notice of Obi-Wan as he approached his Eta-2 Actis-class interceptor. Things would be different on Mandalore. The presence of a Jedi on a planet struggling to remain neutral in the war between the Republic and the Separatists would do more than attract attention. It might be considered an act of aggression. It might lead to further violence—more death.” This is his way of convincing Anakin not to come along:  ““The presence of one Jedi on Mandalore will be hard enough to conceal. Two Jedi will be impossible. You’d put the mission at risk. And Satine.”” Yet there’s no acknowledgement of that when he thinks about why they won’t agree to send him?  I don’t buy that from Obi-Wan Kenobi, even if he would ultimately disagree with them. Overall, we’re definitely making mountains out of molehills with this, it’s really not that big of a deal, both in terms of IT’S JUST A MADE UP SPACE WOO STORY and that it’s not as heinous as it might sound from the conversation.  I’ll reread it in a few days and maybe it’ll come across better for me, I could easily see that happening!  As well as I’m sure there are going to be plenty of people who see it as perfectly in character for Obi-Wan! BUT WHAT WOULD THIS HELLSITE BE IF NOT FOR RIDICULOUS NERDING OUT?  THAT’S WHAT TUMBLR IS FOR.   😂

[leonardcohenofficial]

black sails XIII

(obvious warning for spoilers)

LOVE that this episode opens with max anne and rackham fucking before flint blows up the town

why is rackham SO chaotic at all times

i’m calling it now; flint wrote that note in the book for thomas and not for miranda

“AND DISCOVER SOMETHING FAR MORE DAMAGING THAN THAT” WE ALLLLLLLL KNOOOOOOOOOOW

i don’t know yet if this is The Episode (because it was the one thing i knew going into this program that Certain Events Transpire) but if it is—

“flint killed him?” billy :(

OH he’s got the beard now

“never sailed with a captain this particular this before”

so wait is rackham now cool with max and anne is vaguely jealous but they both get it because they’re just like that?? sdklkjfldskljkl i love them

“men like thomas need men like you” girl

god the fucking layers of this scene between miranda and flint i can’t do it man....................i get why people are obsessed with the way stories are told/people tell stories/storytelling on this show

eleanor’s dad’s wig is the worst one on this program.........they needed to get him a better lace front

this is an unrelated note but besides that one episode does it ever rain here

OHHHHHH but rackham is the closest to refitting his crew and getting out there..........so is he gonna try and pull a stunt?? would LOVE to see it

love that this is the first time we’ve seen miranda anywhere but her house and in london

oh nooooooooooooo

“you thought i wouldn’t hear what you’d done?” oh jfc it’s coming :((((((((((

YUP YUP I KNOW

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

i cannot watch flint’s expressions

ooooh i love max’s blue and yellow and white dress

i love this power trio

WELL THAT WAS DASHED IMMEDIATELY—

LITERALLY what rackham was afraid of and he just did it to anne!!

“i’m a hard man not to like” i despise that he’s correct about this. also silver unfortunately has trapper vibes and i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again

“i don’t believe in him” so that was a lie

“we like him too” djsfjlksjlkfljkjkl

okay so miranda is the only one on this show with the braincell this episode got it

everyone has traaaaaaauuuuuuumaaaaaaa

YUP THERE IT ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

“you were told that it was shameful and part of you believed it” :((((((

“the only thing i’m ashamed of is that i didn’t do something to save him when we had the chance” :((((((((((((((((

THE WAY THOMAS LOOKS AT HIM!! THE READING OUT LOUD TO HIM!! THE INSCRIPTION!! :((((((((((((((((((((((((

JESUS CHRIST VANE

THAT’S HOW IT JUST ENDS????????? AN INTROSPECTIVE SAD MOMENT AND THEN VANE LOSING HIS SHIT????????????????

[bowlegsandgrace]

Honestly i was really frustrated when my brother decided to mvoe back to MD after only being here a week but the  more i think about it the more I realize its for the best. 

The entire time was here I was merely tolerating him or he was making me angry. I think part of it is I couldnt get a good read on him. Every time he called he would start off with “Hey Erin how are you?” in this weird voice but also thats not an opener you would use for someone who lives 5 minutes away. Like I just saw you last night bro wtf do you want? Get to the point. If Im hanging around with him legit every 10-15 mins he asks “Are you good” Im FINE why do you keep asking me that?!!? jfc I was losing my mind. And he was asking me if I needed to go to the bathroom. Why?! “oh well youre walking funny. I thought maybe you needed to go.” Im a grown ass woman. Dont ask me if I need to use the bathroom like im a fucking toddler. Also, Im walking funny bc Im still recovering from my surgery like I told you. I had plans to go to IKEA (which is a good drive away) the day he landed but he begged me to wait until he got in bc he wanted to go. Fine I wait. But then our family starts telling us not to go and then just ditch me with their kid to babysit while they go out. And the next day I had to wait for him to go to church and every minute that goes by im just getting more and more aggravated bc I HATE when people fuck with my plans. Dud finally gets back mid afternoon and we head out. I asked him what he needed when we got there and this dumbass says headphones.?????? bro what? Who goes to IKEA to get headphones? I dont even think they sell those here! Do you know how many electronics stores we passed to get here? Hell there’s a best by right around the corner from where he was staying. The the entire time he’s talking about how hungry he is bc he didnt eat breakfast, refused lunch when i offered it to him before we left, refused to have me stop somewhere on the way to the store, and refused to eat at the store. Something about me is I LOVE to browse, I will spend hours just wandering the aisles of certain stores. so now im even more pissed bc I have to hurry even though I dont know exactly which items I want and I dont have time to compare different models. Get all the way to the end with the list of furniture I want and theyre sold out. And no time to go back and decide on something else. Total bust.

To top it off the night before he leaves he insists on me taking him to Salem bc its halloween week and he wants to do tourist shit. We go. I take him down the ain walk to show him all the different tours he can pick. We go to get something to eat before deciding on an attraction. Afterwards we get in an argument bc he wasnt me to give my leftover to a homeless person and I refused bc thats gross especially during the pandemic and cold/flu season. These people deserve fresh food not something ive picked over. And he tried to argue with me trying to discredit covid and I was not having it. Youd think bc our dad died from it he would take it a little more seriously. No matter how many times I told him im not discussing it with him he kept pushing the issue and said “you dont know what its like to be homeless!” boy I lost my shit. Yes I know what its like to be homeless. Maybe not to the extent that he knows it bc he decided to join a gang when he was a teen and deal drugs and shit so our dad kicked him out so he was couch hopping, on the streets, or in jail for years. Me? My mother’s favorite thing to do when my sister or I got into an argument with her once we turned 18 was kick us out for a few days. I drove home and left his ass in salem. 

so yeah its a good thing he didnt stay.

[merinnan]

Time Raiders

Okay, pausing the DMBJ 2 watches to watch the Time Raiders movie instead! I've been told that the entire movie is basically one big crackfic & I want to see how true that is

- Apparently the only place I can find it is YouTube 

- And we open with someone laying down cards which...seem to be making a qilin pattern. Okay. 

- And now we're at the Himalayas, and it seems to be a bunch of white soldiers shooting people? 

- Oh, this leader white guy has a classic villain look. I love the pocket watch, too 

- Wait, he's supposed to be a scientist? 

 - He obviously hasn't read the Evil Overload Handbook 

- And now this is giving me flashbacks to Xiaoge's first appearance in DMBJ1

- Ah, yes, I think this is the Xiaoge for this movie. Excellent. 

- DUDES. You have GUNS. You were using them just before. Why are you now using knives only? 

- I mean, it wouldn't do much better, because Xiaoge, but still 

- This is A Look

- Finally, one of them uses a gun, and it's as useless as I expected it would be 

- Ahahahah, omg, what he did to these two guys is hilarious 

- That is a TERRIBLE hiding place 

- Don't....don't leave him alive. JFC

- This flashback montage is super weird 

- Look, I don't have a tattoo myself, but I'm pretty sure that that's not how you get tattoos 

- And now we move to Wushanju 

- Oh, I think it's Sanshu who's been playing with those cards

- ...you have got to be kidding me 

- Really? We're really doing this? 

- I guess this is Wu Xie, then 

- What even did he just randomly put that mask on for 

- That is NOT a newborn

- Awww, kid Wu Xie 

- Yay, creepy old houses. And ofc kid Wu Xie is gonna try to get inside 

- But that is a fucking massive lock 

- Yes, of course, wrap the porch in giant fuckoff chains, but don't lock the front door. Why not? 

- ....k 

- Sure, that happened

- And bratty kid Wu Xie still pinched one of the medallions after all of that 

- Okay, yeah, if you were a kid who had to go to a funeral every month, no wonder you'd be so bored at them

- This movie is all over the place in terms of timeline 

- I think we're finally into the time period of the main story 

- And it seems this one also has Wu Xie as having been an architecture student of some kind

- Oh, yes, that's exactly what you want to find while crawling through a tunnel 

- WX: "Sanshu can never know about this. You didn't tell him, right?" 

WM: *oh shit I'm screwed face* 

- Hi Sanshu, I wonder how you got here

- I love that no matter what version it is, Wu Xie is a little shit XD 

- ...Wu Xie. Moths. Light. No. 

- Wu Xie gonna Wu Xie 

- Wu Xie, what are you doing? 

- OMG 

- Sanshu, this is all your fault for never letting him in anything like this. He doesn't know not to touch

- Wow, that wasn't subtle at all 

- That's some steampunky looking villain lair right there 

- I love how the 'passerby video' getting screened fucking everywhere is just the movie footage of that scene XD That's some high quality passerby video with interesting angles

- That's an interesting drinking spot, Xiaoge 

- I love that so far Wu Xie's instincts for everything is either 'touch it', 'wear it', or 'dismantle it' 

- ....okay 

- Yeah, I....I think this is going to be my reaction to most of the movie, tbh

- Although at least this whole magic Snake Empress and weird ancient technology/magic thing is more interesting than the bland het palace drama randomly dropped into the middle of DMBJ1 

- Oh, finally, some product placement 

- I was wondering what was taking it so long

- I love how all their desks and papers and such are inside what look like coffins, and then fold out 

- Oh look, Xiaoge's sword is inside one of the coffins. 

- And there's Xiaoge 

- Hei Ye gave Sanshu the sword decades ago?

- lol, this is like some Sword in the Stone bullshit right here 

 - I love it 

- a) Was all that really necessary 

- b) wtf even is that sword? 

- It's a really bizarre design, and surely being able to be moved like a mechanical device would weaken it?

- ...okay, that was a cute meeting, I'll give it that 

- Love how the older guys are teasing Wu Xie in the truck here. 

- Oh, Wu Xie's actually a psych student in this one

- And like, Wu Xie, how do you know Xiaoge was looking at his reflection. It's a window, he might have just been spacing out at the scenery 

- You must have been paying a lot of attention to him to notice it was the reflection he was actually looking at, hmmm? 👀

- This is a cute Wu Xie, tho 

- Yes, Wu Xie, despite your lack of modesty there I totally caught that you just called Xiaoge handsome 

- WU XIE WHAT NO DON'T DO THAT 

- Hahaha, Xiaoge had exactly the same reaction

- No, Wu Xie, it doesn't matter that you'd taken the ammo out, you should never stick the barrel of a gun in your face and look down it like that. 

- Even if you're certain it's unloaded, you just DON'T DO THAT

- Wu Xie, lacking impulse control and survival instincts without Xiaoge and Pangzi since....forever 

- (okay, lacking survival instincts was perhaps a bit too far, but still)

- I love Xiaoge's "omg what even are you" look at that 

- This is a very talkative and open to talking about himself Xiaoge 

- It's kind of weird

- lol @ Sanshu locking Wu Xie in the truck so he can't come with them 

 - I mean, really, does he actually expect this to work? 

- He knows his nephew both likes and is good at taking things apart, after all 

- lol, I knew it 

- Oh 

- Oh, that's not a good sign

- Even Coral's logo just screams 'villainous organisation' 

- These mercenaries look like video game characters from like COD or something 

- Oh hi, lady I presume is A-Ning 

- I like the haircut. Looks kinda like DMBJ 1 Xiaoge's haircut, just with the fringe over the opposite eye

- Oh, there's that gratuitous boob shot that @thosch3i​ told me about 

- I really don't see why it was necessary for A-Ning to crawl all over the truck like that when everyone else just walked past it

- There is some really nice scenery in this movie with all the mountains and cliffs and such 

- "What I'm doing isn't about right or wrong, it's about how much" I like this A-Ning. She is refreshingly direct and mercenary

- Damn, I though Xiaoge was going to notice the drone. I mean, it's so close to them! He should notice it! 

- Love Hendrix's surprised Pikachu face at recognising him, though 

- I'm honestly surprised that none of them have looked in the truck at all

- I do appreciate that this movie doesn't even attempt to pretend that they're not tomb raiders 

- And that they have no interest in preserving this place 

- Because BOOM! Let's just dynamite our way in and destroy half the wall

- Oops, no floor there 

- Hahaha, this tomb is a fucking platform game 

 - Lovely, a shootout in a tomb. Just what every good tomb raiding movie need 

 - lol, Sanshu 

- Don't you ever ever again wonder where your nephew's little shit tendencies come from

- I think Xiaoge and A-Ning are the only truly competent people on their respective teams 

- A-Ning, 'keep them alive' does not mean 'try to shoot one in the face at close range' 

- That little boot knife is kinda cute, though 

- Clever move, Pan Zi

- I love the Xiaoge/A-Ning fight. He really is the only one who could keep her distracted 

- I'm impressed at how well she held her own with him 

- IDK why he was holding back

- Also, Xiaoge participating in fight banter, no matter how minimal? Strange, but also kinda cool. 

- I'm going to be giggling about that "Not bad"/"I know" for awhile, I think 

- IDK how they had the time or the ability to stay still long enough to rig up that trap, I'm impressed

- lol, yeah, I didn't think that it would take Wu Xie long to get out of the truck 

- I take back my earlier comment about it being too harsh to say that Wu Xie lacks survival instincts without Xiaoge and Pangzi around

- Wu Xie, there is not enough light down here for you to get good shots without your flash being on 

- I know having your flash on is a BAD idea, but still 

- You cannot be getting good photos in this light

- Why is Xiaoge separated from everyone? He jumped down with them 

- I mean, it's good that he is, otherwise Wu Xie would be kinda screwed right now 

- Huh, bats, there must be an actual entrance to this tomb, not just the one that Sanshu's team made.

- A-Ning's tiny baby drones are so cute 

- The English dubbing in this is surprisingly good compared to the shows 

- Yes, good, the staring is starting 

- ...Wu Xie, you little shit 

 - He's so pleased with himself 

- Xiaoge is so confused until he explains it 

- OMG, a Xiaoge smile

- OMG A XIAOGE LAUGH

- Ah yes, multiple large tornadoes, a way to signify weird shit is going now 

- And weird spinny planets forming an...energy grid of some kind? 

- ...k 

- The mini drones apparently only pick up on people who are part of A-Ning's team, I guess

- JESUS 

- I mean, I had a strong suspicion that was gonna happen, but it still made me jump 

- Xiaoge to the rescue! 

- Damn, that sword is strong 

- This tomb definitely has a spider colony, but given it also has a bat colony that doesn't surprise me

- Those are some creepy looking mannequins 

- This set up looks like a game of Mouse Trap 

- A game of Mouse Trap with fire 

- That's actually a really cool way to light all the candles and lamps 

- I'm impressed that none of the cobwebs have caught on fire

- Oh, so NOW you use your flash, Wu Xie. When the room is all well lit and you don't actually need it 

- CREEEEEPY 

- Wu Xie and his compulsive need to touch things 

- Are all the puppets connected somehow, or are we gonna have spooky magical shit making them all come to life?

- Oh, the puppet band is like the bells, I guess 

- Huh, it seems Wu Xie's the only one who got thrown into memories in these illusions, everyone else's hallucination still has them inside the tomb 

- wtf, a lion is a weird thing to hallucinate

- Magic Zhang blood, go! 

- IDK why he needs to cut himself for each person, though, surely one cut should be enough to get all the drops of blood he needs 

- Good boy, Wu Xie, already so protective of his Xiaoge

- This really is a fucking platform game 

- Guys, this is why you study up on the raid mechanics BEFORE you enter the instance 

- Ahahahah, the music playing as Wu Xie basically dances with the sword trap

- lol, the look on Xiaoge's face as he realises Wu Xie is just...fucking dancing and taking photos 

- And that it's WORKING 

- OMFG, this is basically just a bizarre dance sequence 

- I love it 

- It's so stupid

- The puppets having fucking crossbows 

- Because ofc they do 

- Repeating crossbows 

- ...k 

- So now we have a room full of skeletons stuffed into cages 

- Why not 

- Ah, we're about to have bugs show up 

- Excellent 

- This is what I've been waiting for

- Let the hilarity begin continue 

- Dude, you can quit right now as much as you like, but it doesn't mean you're going to be able to get out of here by yourself 

- I guess this guy's gonna die now 

- For the tropes are hungry and must be fed 

- Much like the bugs

- Yep, here we go 

- Hello, shibie, I've been expecting you 

- These ones don't look as cartoonishly ridiculous as the ones in DMBJ 1, I'm sad 

- OMFG, it's eating the shovel/pick/thing 

- Okay, this is a good effort at cartoonish ridiculousness

- It's a lovely day in the tomb, and these are horrible shibie 

- Poor Wu Xie, so shocked at getting slapped

- And yeah. Yeah, that's about the only thing you can do there. 

- Only way to save the guy is to just give him a quick death so he doesn't suffer from being eaten alive

- They're lucky these shibie move so slowly. It gives them plenty of time to climb up onto those frames 

- lol, weird bendy sword again 

- Wow, good catch, Wu Xie 

- Y'know, Wu Xie, it might have been more useful to give the knife to Da Kui 

- And ofc Wu Xie falls down

- What is a DMBJ adaptation without Wu Xie getting himself into danger like this?

- That was so much wtf all at once 

- First, an unbroken flute just, like, laying there on the ground 

- Then, Wu Xie somehow thinking that playing it would save him from the bugs 

- Then that WORKED 

- He's like the fucking Pied Piper of the shibie 

- What even is this movie

- Haha, the little OK sign he flashes at Xiaoge 

- The wtf look on Xiaoge's face 

- Same, Xiaoge. Same 

- I love how everyone just. Accepts it & congratulates Wu Xie on being an awesome flute player 

- But then ig what else are you gonna do? 

- It's like, well, this may as well happen

- Sanshu's team really likes using grenades, huh? 

- Well, it does work pretty well! 

- See, Wu Xie, this is when you need to summon your bugs back

- On a completely different tangent, I cannot get over how weirdly the subs translate men you ping. I had to look up wtf shtum was. I've never come across it before. Is it something more commonly used in the US or something?

- Xiaoge, when you said you had a better way than digging under the door, I didn't think you meant just BATTERING THE FUCKING DOOR WITH THE SHOVEL 

- Oh, no, it's with your sword

- Because the best way to look after a sharp blade and keep it in good condition and keep a good edge is to...hack at rocks with it 

- Ofc 

- Why didn't I think of that? 

-  OK, ig fucking up your sword's edge did actually work, there's now a giant-ass hole in the door

- This is serious Day After Tomorrow vibes here

- Ah, yes, giant lightning strikes that cause so much force to travel through the earth that they can semi-collapse a tunnel deep underneath a mountain 

- Just your usual tomb robbing dangers 

- Physicists and meteorologists would have a fucking field day here

- Ah, I see we're at this level of the platform game 

- With the collapsing floor you need to get across without falling

- Okay, that's really kinda sweet of Wu Xie here. He thinks he's likely to die, and the most important thing to him is giving Xiaoge the pictures he took of him so that he doesn't lose all his memories 

- And aww, Xiaoge's so worried about him

- Like, I'm totally understanding why the transmigrated Wu Xie in that fic looked at these two and went "wow, we're so gay in this timeline" 

- Even the music in this scene is shipping it 

- Romantic line, and dramatic fall through the floor. Yep.

- I'm amazed he survived that fall, but it's Wu Xie, and he can't die 

- ...yes, ancient Persian architecture totally had anachronistic technology. Sure. This is definitely like that 

- omfg, they're statis chambers 

- 2000 year old stasis chambers

- Guess they're not worried about catching Sanshu and his team to get the key anymore. They've been kinda sidetracked 

- Side quests will do that 

- ...plant golems 

- "Don't shoot the thing that's in the process of murdering your friend! You might damage my research project!"

- Ew, that's not a nice death 

- Yes, good girl, A-Ning 

- That thing was just gonna kill your whole team otherwise 

- ...how did that laptop survive the blast enough for Wu Xie to be using it with no problem 

- That's one tough laptop 

- Where do I get one?

- And hey, I guess the one Chinese guy with A-Ning isn't actually one of her people, since she just, like, left him there 🤣 In the room with a plant golem 🤣 That she then threw a grenade into 🤣

 - ...omg, that's meant to be Pangzi?

- I was wondering why no Pangzi in the movie. I guess 3/4 of the way through isn't too late to properly intro him 

 - Ahahaha, Wu Xie actually thinks his bluff was super successful when there's a plant golem behind him 

- Xiaoge to the rescue again XD

- lol @ both Pangzi and Wu Xie using Xiaoge's sword as a restraint 

- ...surprise A-Ning! I wasn't expecting her to actually come back 

- And she's somehow lost all of her guys

- That's a lot of snakes, but I'm more interested in where all the water is coming from and why you can see the sun behind those shelves 

- Given how deep under a mountain they're supposed to be 

- I do love competent, pretty girls wielding huge fuckoff guns

- This door mechanism is so intricate (like the key/timer). So ofc I'm sure they're going to destroy it all 

 - Because that's how tomb raiding movies go

- Introduce a tomb with intricate and complex mechanisms far in advance of anything else known to that time period and civilisation, and then destroy them in dramatic fight and escape scenes 

- OMG the floor is lava 

 - Of course there's lava as well

- Oh, and it seems it's now all open to the sky 

- Ig the lightning which could mysteriously exert high levels of force must have smashed through the mountain and very neatly cleared it all way so that this part of the tomb and only this part of the tomb is now open air

- Wang Zanghai wishes he could go this extra with tomb building 

- And now Xiaoge being super extra to get across the destroyed section of the bridge 

- So this dude is gonna wake up just before Xiaoge gets there, isn't he? 

- And we're going to get an epic swordfight between them

- At least, it better be an epic swordfight 

- Otherwise this buildup will be very disappointing 

- Ah, yes, good, there we go 

- And all the plant golems are also waking up 

- ...along with a shitton of snakes 

- OMG the snakes have arms 

- The snakes 

- have arms

- OMG Xiaoge's sword is doing what now? 

- That's almost as ridiculous as the snakes with arms 

- It's like a sword designed by a 13 year old weeaboo boy

"it's gonna be ancient, and super strong, and nothing will ever make it blunt" 

"okay, seems like a typical magic sword so far, that's fair" 

"and you can bend it at right angles" 

"...you can what"

"and when it's bent at right angles, you can make it spin really fast and still use it like a proper sword" 

"...it what"

- ...the Snake Empress is reforming in her armour as thousands of little vines all coming together 

- k 

- Sure 

- This may as well happen 

- And her armour has boobplate, because ofc it does 

- Oh, she ain’t happy that Xiaoge just killed her plant golem boyfriend

- Her aesthetics are hilarious 

- It's part Queen of the Damned, part Little Shop of Horrors 

- Okay, snake lady, your worms might change the world but honestly I think that lightning would be more effective if you could control it

- Sanshu and co just randomly walk in through another entrance 

- Oh, and there's the rest of A-Ning's team

- I want the story behind this A-Ning and her team. The way they all call her captain, and follow her without a second word, and are so genuinely happy to see her. This isn't just a throw-together team, or a team that Hendrix put together and put her in charge of. This is her team, and there's an obvious history between them

- And snake lady is suddenly not looking as pretty as she was, for no discernible reason 

- One minute she's jumping around, the next she's all pale and falling apart. At least her face is 

- It's like she's decomposing throughout the fight

- And here come the snakes with arms 

- They move just as slowly as the shibie in here do 

- They jump pretty fast, though 

- RIP the next member of Sanshu's team 

- Yeah, machine guns aren't that effective against regular snakes, let alone magic snakes

- And the plant golems are here 

- RIP more of Sanshu's team 

- Ah, the little snakes with arms are all grown up and off to conquer the world

- ...omfg Pangzi 

- And this time it's A-Ning to the rescue 

- I love how quickly Wu Xie and Pangzi fall into the dynamic of a pair of clowns, regardless of adaptation

- RIP Harry. You went out like a badass 

- Oh wow, both teams are having some fucking epic sacrificial deaths in this fight scene 

- I like 

- And more cute pingxie, this time in flashbacks 

- lol, clearing out plant golem conversion by pure force of will

- ...and channeling blood down the grooves in the sword blade apparently...makes it sharper? 

- At least, it couldn't cut through the vines before, and now it can 

- That's not how magnetic fields work

- Ahahaha, Wu Xie pulling out his flute 

- He's gonna pull that Pied Piper shit again, isn't he? 

- Here come the shibie, come to nom on plant-snake-lady flesh! 

- She's having just as much trouble with them as everyone else does

- Because it's a lovely day in the tomb, and they are horrible shibie 

- Wow, she hits hard, she knocked Xiaoge like halfway across the chasm 

- Good thing there was a random broken pillar there

- Are they getting obliterated? 

- Ah, no, they're getting sucked up by the wind 

- Shibie-nado! 

- You know, I kinda like how bad Wu Xie's English is compared to everyone else who's spoken English so far 

- It nicely demonstrates who speaks it a lot and who doesn't

- Aw, Wu Xie, you're always so optimistic when you're baby 

- And it actually worked. I'm impressed. 

- Oh wow, A-Ning, that's some character development right there, caring about right or wrong instead of money

- Nice Pangi & A-Ning dynamic in this movie, given how they usually hate each other 

- This is definitely the final level of a platform game 

- Hahah, the two teams now 

- Awwwwwwww 😭

 - I think this is the first time I've seen Wu Xie rescue Xiaoge rather than vice versa 

- "I regret not locking you in the truck myself" 

 - Sorry, Xiaoge, I don't think you'd actually have much more luck with that than Sanshu did 

- Xiaoge, you really should have been more careful there, you almost did low Wu Xie 

- Good thing A-Ning was close by!

- ....the sword...is being used...as a boomerang 

- wtaf 

- Hahahah, the snakes' death throes, omg 

- lol what even was that ending

Overall: This movie was just one long DMBJ PingXie AU crackfic, and the author didn't know how to end it so just...didn't write an actual ending. That's the only way I can explain it.