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#bean paste flower
iwillbemother · 1 year
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morethansalad · 11 months
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Modernized Eight Treasure Rice / 八宝饭 / Chinese Rice Pudding (Vegan & Gluten-Free)
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ducktracy · 1 year
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doing that thing i did once before where i upload a menagerie of my Garageband Meddlings of cues/songs/blips/etc that are either too brief to post on their own or too unfinished. 95% of these are just studies of pre-existing Carl Stalling scores HAHA (that some of you may recognize! some of you may not! i’ll put sources in tags) but HEY! i tried to organize them from most substantial/finished to least
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fairlyang · 1 month
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more husband!miguel x wife!reader headcanons! 🕷️
taglist: @safixiovi | part one
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miguel was an attentive listener so anytime he’d take you out shopping and you had an eye on something like a lipstick or dress, he would just make a mental note and come back for it the following weekend
but sometimes he’s go overboard and end up buying more things he thinks you’d enjoy
or even try to pair a cute dress with a lipstick and new heels/flats
would absolutely peel all your oranges or cuties, would even cut up your fruits if you liked them diced
could def see him as the gardening type! he’d take care of his lemon trees and all his veggies while you took care of your pretty flowers and plants in the backyard
going grocery shopping would consist of him putting any snack he’s been craving for the past two months tops
he simply might see some Canelitas or Barritas and how could he not get a box of each?
and when it came to remembering if you had queso fresco, beans, or cilantro his mind would go blank which resulted in you giving him a, “are you serious?”
when it was time to pay he’d playfully push you towards the cart so you didn’t have to pay a dime because that was his job
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best of all he is the the most romantic man imaginable but when valentines comes around his date plans, gifts, and flirtatious manner just skyrockets
and when he finally does the grand reveal of everything he got for you, you’re practically tear eyed, feeling an immense amount of appreciation for him
you just stared at him with a little pout (trying not to cry) while admiring how handsome he looked because he loved dressing up for special occasions
you went up to him holding his face in your hands and attack his face with kisses while he laughed and dropped the big stuffed bear he got you
he wrapped his arms around your waist while you were on your tiptoes, kissing his cheeks, nose, forehead, and lips as lovingly as you could
then you pulled away and ran off to the kitchen where you had your own gift for him that was in a pretty glittery red bag
it was a big bag with two little gifts and you were certain it’d be the best present you could possibly give him
returning back to him with the bag in hand and handing it to him before standing in front of him awaiting his reaction
he shook his head in disbelief because he never wants you spending money on him which is quite ironic
but he placed the bag on the coffee table and grabbed the gift paper, throwing it on the floor as your heart pounded in pure excitement
his hand reached down and grabbed the first item, bringing it back up with an instant gasp and tears already filling his eyes
the white baby booties were so tiny in his big hand but it only made the reality hit harder
he was going to be a dad
with a shaky hand he grabbed the final thing in the bag which was a positive pregnancy test in a ziploc baggie
without a word being said he walked over to you and wrapped his arms around you, hugging you gently with tears streaming down his cheeks
you hugged him back and finally your tears fell as well from having to hold this surprise for a little while now
(it was hard because you tell him literally everything)
he was about to speak when a sob instead came out making him laugh because he wasn’t expecting it
you sniffled and grinned so wide your cheeks began to hurt as he pulled away from you just to be able to look at you
his eyes were red and a single tear fell from his eye as he whispered, “I love you so much.”
“our family is growing.” you whispered back making more tears fall from both your faces
he kissed you softly before embracing you once again and making sure to be extra cautious for the little one in your tummy
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borathae · 6 months
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“Weeks after you recieved flowers by one of your younger classmates for helping him pass his tests, your cute husband Jungkook still thinks that he is in a competition for your attention and shows everyone why he will always be the coolest husband ever. Note: He doesn’t have competition, so all his showing off is adorably unnecessary.”
Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader 
Genre: married life!AU, Slice of Life, Fluff, College!AU 
Warnings: Kook and OC are the same age but because of her past life she couldn’t go to college till her early thirties, if anyone was wondering why she is in college lmao, Jungkook shows off in his sports car and expensive clothes because he is a jealous bean <3, lmao he is so cute istfg protect this pookie, she thinks that he is so annoying (fondly), he is a pouty boy, he also makes a lil suggestive joke, and they have such a deep and honest conversation with each other, they’re so in love!
Wordcount: 3.4k
a/n: this is a follow up to this drabble istfg i love him fjasjdf protect this lil nugget 😔💜 *whispers* the kook in the header ruins me, i lowkey miss this hairstyle of his’, it made me go brbbrbrb
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It was a rather productive day at the library today. There is a big exam coming up and you spend most of your afternoons studying at college. You and your college friends managed to get a good portion of the required material written down in neat notes. 
You are currently leaving the building, chatting with each other about what to do tomorrow. 
“I think we should start with the third chapter”, Jihyo says. She was a few years younger than you and currently had pink hair. 
All of them were younger than you. Some were fresh out of high school while others just passed the notorious twenty mark. And although they were younger than you, it doesn’t feel peculiar to hang out with them. On the contrary, you really enjoy having college friends. It sounds so exciting to you. “I have college friends!” The first time you could say that sentence to someone, you almost squealed in happiness. It feels as if you are finally catching up with years and years of lost opportunities.
“I also think that’s a good idea”, you agree, “chapter three is way too long, we gotta start on it soon.”
“Yeah, agreed”, Chaeyoung, another college friend who just finished high school, says.
“I think that we will manage really well. Especially you”, Mark says, looking at Chaeyoung with dreamy eyes. He is totally crushing on her, but way too shy to act on his feelings.
“Oh?” Chaeyoung blushes, “thank you.”
Even if it is so obvious that she reciprocates his feelings. Oh truly, young must one be.
You and your little group of friends have reached the main park by now. Behind you, the college buildings cover most of the skyline while in front of you, the walkways to the dormitories were busy with students. Jihyo and Chaeyoung live in them. They share a room and always complain about their annoying downstairs neighbour.
“Hey unnie, do you want to come with us to Bang Bang?” Chaeyoung asks you. 
“I would love to, but my husband’s coming to pick me up today”, you dismiss her. 
They look at you for a moment. You know that they still find it rather peculiar to hear you talk about being married. Perhaps that is truly the only indicator of your age difference. While they barely even think about commitment or marriage, you are very proud of being married. It is adorable, you’ll give them a few more years and then they will think the same as you. Or maybe they won’t, that is totally acceptable too. Not everyone wants to get married.
“Waah unnie, you’re so old”, Chaeyoung teases you. 
You chuckle, shaking your head.
“Just you wait, a few more years and you will be married too.”
“I don’t think I ever will. Marriage is nothing but prison.”
You laugh. She reminds you of yourself from a few years ago. 
“Well, I won’t force you to. You’re very capable of making your own life choices”, you say and snicker. 
Chaeyoung nods her head, looking very proud of herself because she just got support from someone so much older and wiser (that is how she thinks of you).
“Should we wait with you, noona?” Hyunjin asks, tapping your arm. 
“Oh you guys don’t have to, he’ll be here soon.”
“No, it’s fine. We will wait with you. Right, guys?” 
They all nod their heads. You give in with a fond smile. 
“Very well. He told me to wait by the running fields because the parking is safer.”
You are chatting as you wander to the running fields. They aren’t that far from the dormitories. Just a five minute walk through the dormitories’ own park. There are many students out and about, enjoying the warm sunlight and catching some rest before their next lecture. You love lounging in the park between classes and catching up on some vitamin D. Life feels so easy whenever you do.
You and your small friend group have to wait for a good fifteen minutes as traffic was terribly stuffy today. You don’t mind. You like chatting with them and sneakily witnessing how Chaeyoung and Mark send each other yearning gazes without noticing that the other does the same. Maybe you will have to play wing woman soon. Just give them a little push into the right direction.
John, he is studying in Seoul for two semesters and loves being here, is currently in the midst of telling a funny joke when the annoyingly loud sounds of a sports car interrupts him.
This is Jungkook’s car. You recognize the howling of it in an instant. You hate this car because of how loud it is.
“Woah guys, do you hear that? That car sounds so cool”, John exclaims. 
“It does, wow”, Hyunjin gushes.
You tighten your jaw. You can’t believe him. Jungkook really picked out his Ferrari for today. You know for a fact that he left work in his normal Mercedes, which means that he seriously drove home to exchange cars. Which in conclusion means that this stupid noodle is trying to show off. 
You sneak a glance at Hyunjin, who seems mesmerised by the black Ferrari coming closer and closer. 
You scoff. 
So he’s still not over the thing. A few weeks ago Hyunjin gave you flowers as a thank you for helping him pass his test. It was truly nothing more than a gesture of gratefulness, but your jealous stupid noodle of a husband felt so entirely threatened by it that he filled an entire room with flowers to show you how much better he is. And now he is going to pick you up with the loudest, most obnoxious car he owns. Fuck, he is such an idiot. 
“Wait. Why is that guy slowing down?”
The black Ferrari with its windows tinted stops.
“Why is it stopping?”
The window rolls down, showing a cockily grinning Jungkook.
“Yo, who is he? He looks so cool”, John gasps to which Jihyo agrees with a nod of her head.
Jungkook lifts his hand to wave at you. Their eyes shift to you and the slightly embarrassed expression on your face.
“Unnie, do you know this guy?” 
“Yeah, sadly”, you roll your eyes, “that’s my idiot of a husband”, you say, lifting your hand to wave back at Jungkook. 
They all seem too stunned to speak, looking at you with widened eyes. 
Jungkook turns off the car. It dies down with a purr so low you can feel it vibrate on the concrete. He gets out of it, making sure to look as cool as possible. 
“Hey, my love”, he greets you with a bright smile. You know that he is trying to make it look innocent, but that he is secretly gloating right now. 
“Hey”, you tell him, sending him a look.
He closes the car door and rounds the car in confident steps. 
You scan him up and down. He changed out of his normal suit into an obvious designer piece, wearing designer sunglasses as well. His sleeves are rolled up, giving view to his black steel, custom made Rolex. You know for a fact that he didn’t wear it this morning. 
To make the entire circus even better, Jungkook is chewing gum in the cockiest of ways whilst carrying a big, most definitely expensive, bouquet of flowers. He didn’t actually get you flowers. Oh dear. He is seriously such an idiot sometimes.
“Hey guys”, he greets your friends, striking a short, inconspicuous pose (they don’t see it as a pose but you know Jungkook well enough to know that his current standing position is not normal). 
“H-hi.” 
“Hello.” 
“Hi, uhm, hi” 
They all stutter out their greetings, gawking at him with widened eyes. Everyone except John, who gives him a nonchalant nod of his head and a cool, “hey man”, he looks at your starstruck friends afterwards, making a mental note to ask who the cool looking man in front of him was.
Jungkook gives them a smirk then turns to you, stepping closer to press a quick kiss to your lips. 
“Hey love”, he says, caressing your cheek, “how was your day?” 
“Good”, you grumble, sending him a glare. 
“I’m glad to hear that”, he says, “I’ve got something for you.”
You accept the flowers with your eyes basically boring holes into his face. He seems unaffected by it, grinning confidently. You know for a fact that Hyunjin doesn’t think anything of it.
“Thanks”, you mumble, stepping closer for a small peck on Jungkook’s lips. 
But of course Jungkook doesn’t keep it at one peck. He slings his arm around your waist, pressing you close to him with his hand on your lower back and his lips claiming yours in a deep kiss.
Your friends react in a serious of teasing screeches of disgust and childish coos of encouragement. God, you are so embarrassed.
Jungkook even has the audacity to let out a small sound of contentment after pulling back.
“I missed you today”, he says, stifling a snicker when he sees the way you lower your eyes at him. 
“I missed you too.”
Jungkook gives your lower back a small caress then finally steps back.
 “Come, give me your bag”, he offers.
“Thanks”, you mumble, handing it to him. 
Jungkook shoulders it coolly even if you know for a fact that he wasn’t expecting it to be that heavy. He plays off his little stumble by running his fingers through his hair. Truly, his entire act is so annoying that you want to squish his cheeks.
“Guys”, Chaeyoung says, “am I the only one currently losing her mind that ___ unnie is married to Jeon Jungkook?” 
Jungkook is growing even cockier, giving her a sweet smile. He takes his sunglasses off nonchalantly, earning himself a dramatic roll of your eyes. 
“You know who I am?” he asks. 
“Well duh? Everyone knows you? You’re Jeon Jungkook, CEO of Blue Electronics. Your company is the reason why our economy is as great as it is these days. You’re a literal celebrity.”
“Ah that. Yes, I guess, that’s me”, Jungkook says and laughs, sneaking a glance at Hyunjin. 
“Wow sunbae, you are a legend”, the poor, unsuspecting boy says, giving Jungkook a big thumbs up, “I wanna work in tech like you one day and make stuff the world has never seen before!”
“Thank you, thank you. I’m sure you will be successful”, Jungkook says and takes your hand, “now if you’ll excuse me. I have to take my wife on a shopping trip to Tokyo.”
“Wooooah”, your friends exclaim in awe. 
“You are so cool, unnie.”
“I wanna be you, noona.”
“Why did you never tell us you are married to Jeon Jungkook of Blue Electronics?”
“I did”, you insist, burning up in embarrassment.
“No, you just said Jungkook. There are so many Jungkooks living in Seoul.”
“Yeah whatever”, you dismiss them, turning to stomp off, “see you guys tomorrow. Go eat a snack in my name.”
“We will!” 
Jungkook says his goodbye as well, stunning your friends with a quick wink. He hurries to you to open the door for you, then rounds the car. He gets inside, sneaking a glance at the frown you are sporting. He ignores it for the sake of starting his car and then driving off loudly and obnoxiously.
He has just rounded the corner and officially left the vision of your friends when you finally explode. 
“Jeon Jungkook, you little shit”, you exclaim, turning to him. 
Jungkook cackles, “wasn’t I so cool right now?”
“No, you were being a snob.”
Jungkook gasps, opening his mouth widely. 
“Excuse me?”
“I know you changed cars just to show off. Also, designer clothes? Seriously?” you poke his Rolex, “get even snobbier.”
“Hey”, he complains, pulling his hand away, “I don’t know what you’re on about.”
“Oh, I think we both know that’s not true. You little shit were just trying to show off in front of Hyunjin.”
Jungkook smirks, “I really showed it to him, didn’t I?” 
“He is nineteen, Jungkook. Nineteen. He is literally more than a decade younger than us. You really think that I would really want to get it on with a literal child? Even if I wasn’t married to you doofus, I wouldn’t want to even think about dating him”, your voice became louder and squeakier as you continued your rant.
Jungkook sneaks a glance at you and pouts. 
“Why are you so pissy right now? I thought I was cool”, he mumbles, pouting harder. 
“No you weren’t”, you fall back into your seat, throwing your hand over your face to massage it dramatically, “fuck, that was so embarrassing.”
“No it wasn’t, it was cool”, he insists loudly, “who else can say that their scorchingly hot husband picks them up in his Ferrari to take them to Tokyo for a shopping trip?”
“Oh, ohohoho no”, you let out a laugh, wagging your finger at him, “you are not taking me to Tokyo right now, you are taking me home.”
“But my love”, he whines and pouts, “it’ll be fun.”
“It’ll poison the environment. Just take me home.”
“But love, I’ll take you to Disney World too”, he whines, fluttering his lashes at you.
“No. Drive me home.”
“Wah, you are cold as ice”, he murmurs and huffs out air.
You study his face. He is making cute puppy eyes at you even when he is focusing them on traffic. His lips are curled into the biggest, most devastating pout in human history and his cheeks are just the slightest bit flushed. Maybe he is being a little bit cute right now. And maybe he was also being cute when he gave you the flowers.
You let out a soft chuckle and reach over to nudge his cheek.
“You’re a stupid noodle”, you give up with a roll of your eyes.
Jungkook grins, glancing at you for a moment.
“Sooo…Tokyo?”
“No”, you laugh honestly, “home.”
“Fine”, Jungkook gives up and groans dramatically with his head thrown back, “no Tokyo.”
“Thank you.”
You fall back into the seat, looking outside at the busy city. Rush hour keeps the traffic tight and the sidewalks spilling over with people. You should have taken the bus home, it’ll take ages to fight your way through the streets. You glance at the clock. This has to take at least an hour, if not longer, and your stomach is protesting violently in starvation.
“Actually”, you say, “can we get dinner somewhere? I’m hungry.”
“Yes, of course. Where do you wanna go?”
“Croix. I want French.”
“I can also give you French later. If ya know what I mean.”
You glance at him, having to crack up the moment your eyes meet. He looks so full of himself, but in an adorable Jungkook kind of way.
“Just shut up, you stupid noodle. Fuck.”
He laughs and places his hand on your thigh, giving it a soft rub. He keeps it there as he makes his way through the heavy traffic, tapping his fingers to the melodies on the radio and giving you a small squeeze every now and then. 
You intertwine your fingers with him, studying his side profile. Jungkook notices after a few moments, looking at you because the traffic is currently passive. 
“What’s the matter?” he asks. 
“Please don’t continue seeing Hyunjin as a threat. If you do, I’ll think that I’m doing something wrong.”
Such conversation may feel like a threat to other people or maybe as if you were fighting, but to you and Jungkook this was normal. The topic may be heavy, so many hurtful things could be said, but you have mutual respect for each other and that means that whatever you may say will be met with eager ears and what you will hear will come from an honest heart. Being each other’s safe spaces means that conversations like this can happen as if they were just simple conversations about the weather or tomorrow’s lunch. You won’t be angry with each other afterwards, just healthier and brought closer together.
“What? Why would you do something wrong?” he gasps. 
“Because you apparently think that I’m capable of cheating on you.”
“Oh god, no my love”, he exclaims, shaking his head violently, “I don’t think that. I’m sorry, I just wanted to show off and be your cool husband. I wanted to impress them.”
“Did you really?” 
“Yeah, well maybe I wanted to be a jealous snob too.”
You let out a small chuckle. 
“A bit at least”, he whispers with his eyes lowering. They lift again as he continues, “I’m sorry, it’s just…” he sighs sadly, “we’re getting old. I’m getting old and I just…sometimes I worry that soon I won’t be handsome to you anymore.”
“Kook, we’re thirty three. That’s not old and you still look at least ten years younger. Besides, I’m not with you for only your looks, you stupid noodle. I literally fell for you while you were wearing a mask. I fell for you as a person, Bunny. You should know that by now.”
“I do. I know. I think I need to talk about my insecurities with my therapist. They’re not dragging me down yet, but I want to work through them before they become a problem.”
“That’s very healthy of you. You can open up to me too, you know? I get it, growing old can be scary, but I think it’s nice.”
“You do?”
You nod your head, “in the past I always told myself that I’ll probably die soon, but I never did and I’m growing old, which means I survived long enough that I can live these days. There were times were you saw no meaning in life, but now you are growing old which means that you survived your darkest times. And growing old with you, means that I can live with you and you can live with me.”
Jungkook spills tears instantly, pressing out the most devastating sob. 
“My love”, he squeaks out, “oh god”, he hiccups. 
“It’s okay. Gosh, my hopeless romantic”, you soothe him in a fond chuckle and cradle his face to wipe his tears until he doesn’t need to cry anymore, caressing his closed lids last. 
“I adore you”, he gets out, nuzzling into your touch, “I adore you so much. I adore you.”
“And I adore you”, you answer him.
Your eyes meet. He isn’t crying anymore, but his eyes are still terribly glassy. He is so gentle hearted. You love him so abysmally much. 
“How are you feeling?” you ask him. 
“Happy”, he whispers. 
“I’m happy too, Bunny.”
He kisses the palm of your hand and gives you a soft smile.
“I promise I won’t continue my competition with Hyunjin. I just thought that I have to nail the first impression.”
You snicker, pulling your hands back, “you definitely made a first impression, yeah.” 
Jungkook grins, “do you think that they’re talking about us now?”
“Don’t be a snob”, you say, booping his nose. 
“Sorry”, he smiles boyishly, “I do think that they’re cool. I’m happy that you have nice friends, my love.” 
“Thank you, I’m happy too.”
“I hope that I didn’t fuck things up for you now. I’d cry so much if I did.”
“I don’t think you did. Although I’ll have to answer a million questions tomorrow. God, so annoying”, you groan dramatically.
Jungkook snickers, blushing slightly.
“And if Hyunjin ever wants an internship, he can ask me. You know that I pay my interns and I think that he can learn a lot at my company”, he says.
“That is actually so sweet”, you say and lean in to kiss his cheek, “thank you, Bunny. I love you so much more when you’re like this.”
“Like what?” he asks, gazing at your lips. The closeness between you and him makes his heart flutter. 
“Tender hearted, helpful and kind. You’re so much more like yourself this way”, you say and pinch his cheek gently, “no more obnoxious rich snob yeah? I want my sweet husband back.”
“Yeah okay. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Now drive, the traffic’s moving.”
“God, I can’t wait to get to Croix and kiss you. I love you so much right now.”
You chuckle, “food first, Frenching later.”
He smiles, nodding his head obediently. Seconds later, loud honking lets him know that he needed to hurry the fuck up.
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thanksbutno98 · 3 months
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Putting Out Fires
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John Price x fem!reader
Authors note: I have spent countless hours on this one. The fics I spend the most time on I tend to be the most self conscious about. So I’m going to post this and hide under a rock.
Summary: After the announcement of John Prices parents divorce his father, Paul, comes to stay.
Warning: sexual themes, divorce, domestic argument, toxic family dynamics, favoritism, toxic in laws, sexism.
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“Pst, Jj.” Evelyn was peaking her head into her brothers room. It wasn’t unusual for the little girl to come in here and try and bug her brother. Jj was sprawled out on his bed with his head resting at the foot of it and playing his Nintendo switch.
Jj’s bedroom door was located in the right corner of his room. There was a large blue rug that took up most of the floor space and that had been flipped around to hide the stain from when Jj got sick when he was four. Across from the thick door was his desk made of birch wood. The top was scratched and covered with stains from past science projects, birthday card decorating, and the occasional attempt at coloring or painting.
Within these forest green walls to the left side of Jj’s room was larger, with his twin sized bed up against the same wall his door was situated. His bed stuck out to bisect the room and had two night stand on either side of it. One nightstand had a lamp and the book he was reading, while the other held a family picture and another photo frame of John and Jj on their last fishing trip. They were both holding up the large fish they caught with matching cheeky smiles and rosy cheeks from the winter air.
Jj was good about making up his bed every morning, the sky blue plaid comforter neatly tucked in, covering his navy blue sheets. He had two fluffy pillows at the head of his bed that matched his sheets.
There were two windows that overlooked the front yard but the young boy had his copper drapes pulled closed to keep the light out. In between the windows was Jj’s mahogany dresser, that matched the nightstands and bed frame, which he kept his trophies from sports on and above it was a poster of the Liverpool football club.
To the left of the dresser was an old jean bean bag that was heavily used. Then finally the wall to the left had a cork board that took up most of the wall and a book shelf to the left of it by the closet. It was decorated with Polaroid pictures, ticket stubs, flyers for upcoming events, and a few signed autographs. The most valuable thing that hung on the overflowing board was an old patch from one of John’s military uniforms. Proudly Jj hung it up and imagined that ‘Price’ would be read across his own chest one day.
“I’m busy.” Jj didn’t bother looking over at his little sister. She had been pestering him all day so Jj hoped she would just go away.
“I think grandads crying.” Evelyn shuffled in. Jj’s head shot up, his feature twisting into worry. Placing the switch on his pillow Jj sat up.
“Is he okay?” Jj was getting off his bed and walking to his door to look down the hall way.
Looking down the hall from Jj’s room, Lily’s door shared the same wall as the young boys room and was to the left of his. The washroom was the first door on the right and then there was Evelyn’s door, then your and John’s room. The hallways walls were covered in light blue wallpaper that was decorated with ornate ferns, flowers, and vine work that all matched the same grey tone and faded together.
It complimented the dark rosewood hardwood floors, molding, door frames, and the railing that wrapped from the top of the stairs closest to your door and around to Jj’s room and ended in front of Lily’s room. There was a circular stain glass window that was situated hallway up the staircase and would refract colorful reds, yellows, and greens through the upstairs and bleed against the matching wallpaper down the stairs.
“I think so. I went to get my markers and I heard him crying. Do we give him a hug?” Evelyn was whispering as she asked her brother for advice.
“No. We shouldn’t be listening to what he’s doing when the doors shut, Evie. Mum told us not to ease drop.” Jj scolded her. Moving around her Jj peaked his head down the hall to see his sister bedroom door closed. The purple sign hung up awkwardly hanging to the side with her name written in cursive in white lettering.
“I think it’s ‘eavesdrop.’” Evelyn corrected, getting an annoyed look from her brother, but continued on.
“I didn’t mean to. I was just checking if he was awake before I knocked. It is my room.” The incredulous tone of Evelyn’s words had Jj rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, but mum and dad said you have to let him have your room while he stays here.” The retort now had Evelyn rolling her eyes.
“I don’t mind. I kinda like sharing a room with Lily. She’s really cute in the morning but man does her diaper stink.” Evelyn shrugged.
Pretending to wipe her nose so Jj couldn’t see the genuine smile on her face of how much she adored their baby sister. Everyone thought she’d be a jealous sibling but Evelyn was proving to be an amazing big sister who set limits better than John at times. She had also been practicing her reading at nights to Lily so she wouldn’t feel embarrassed reading aloud at school. It was the best your youngest daughter had ever slept and you didn’t know why.
“Hey, dad.” Jj called down the hall as John exited your shared bedroom.
It was clear John was exhausted from the bags under his eyes and how he moved sluggishly. Dressed in jeans that had become a little snug and a baggy black crew neck, with his white t-shirt peaking out at the collar, John tried to hide his sigh. John hadn’t been sleeping well recently and now having you working crazy hours, most things within the home were falling to him.
Since John’s parents announced their separation you and John had been an incredible tag team. Putting out fires within the family and now having John’s dad staying with you. These fires ranged from small to large scale things. Most consisted of John’s siblings being roped into financially supporting their mother to alternative childcare, because John’s mother now refused to help watch the grandkids without Paul.
It didn’t help that you had just started your new job of being a museum curator. The hours were much more demanding and you found yourself responsible for much more than you first thought. There was no boss for you to be reporting to everyday, you were the boss people reported to. You and John were struggling to get use to the life style change and how you were now free most mornings but spending later nights at the museum.
It was affecting your marriage in a way that left you both tired and unable to really spend quality time with the other. Now having Paul staying with you both and the impending divorce was only hurting more and John was in the line of fire for that. With your busy hours you were left neglecting your husbands emotional needs; although he’d never tell you that. John was too strong and proud to admit such things. It also left him neglecting your excitement and struggle with work. Leaving you both lonely and desperate for simpler days.
Your normally hectic house was falling into chaos as your nieces and nephews would come over after school most days while John’s siblings worked out babysitters and nanny’s or their inlaws help. It was greatly appreciated that you and John had stepped up so willing in his families time of need.
John and Paul were left with three teenagers and five children if John’s siblings were unable to find sitters or help. Thank god, it had only happened once when you had a full house and when you got home you’d made a dinner the size of your normal holiday dinners. It made you privy to what Mary dealt with most days since she was the home where all the grandkids were dropped off at without a second thought. It had you and John appreciating her in a way that you never had, although it had been years since she was left to watch your children. Clearly you had taken her for granted in certain ways.
“How can I help you little man?” John’s voice was deeper than usual.
He was in need of a nap but it just wasn’t in the cards while you were at work. Jj waved for John to come into his room and once he was in, Jj shut the door. Evelyn was quick to sit on Jj’s bed while John glanced around the neat room confused why he was in there.
“You two fighting or something?” John asked his eyes narrowing as he noticed a stack of dirty cups on Jj’s desk. Pointing at them Jj nodded his head in acknowledgment not actually needing his father to tell him to bring them down.
“No. We don’t fight all the time.” Evelyn rolled her eyes at her father’s assumption.
“Is grandad okay? Evie accidentally heard him crying. It’s cool that he’s staying here but it’s weird. Jacky said we need to ask our mums and dads what’s going on, yesterday when he was here.” Fiddling with the hem of his shirt Jj watched his father’s face intently. Trying to find any tell that might give him more information.
Jackson or ‘Jacky’ was the oldest of the Price grandchildren and had been approached by most of his cousins asking what was happening with Nan and grandad. Jacky was born to Harrison and Amy, the first son to get married out of John’s siblings. John spent a lot of his free time with Jacky as he grew up and the two were exceptionally close. The teenager would come to John for advice when he felt too embarrassed to ask either of his parents. It felt natural to come over since he already bounced between homes since Harrison and Amy were divorced.
Jj and Evelyn had asked you day one when Paul came to stay what was going on. You told them it was grow up stuff but everything was okay. Since then Jj had been trying desperately to figure things out. It had come out in small question and was now boarder lining out right pestering. You and John discussed that it might be best to just tell your children but it was ultimately Paul’s choice.
“Yeah really weird.” Evelyn added.
John sighed deeply not wanting to have this conversation with his children. This was something John needed you for. Knowing him he’d say something wrong and the kids would end up in hysterics. John was also not in a place where he was emotionally okay with why his father was staying with you. John could still hear his mother’s pained sobs when he stopped by over the weekend to check on her.
“Why don’t we wait for your mum to get home and we can all chat about it.” John was already reaching for the door knob so he could go finish the laundry you asked him to do before you left for work.
“Dad, cmon. Please just tell us.” Jj pressed his body against the door in hopes to stop his father from leaving. It was also a risk since Jj knew his dad was not in the mood but Jj was dying to know.
“Look, your mum would explain this so much better than m-“
“Please.” Jj and Evelyn spoke in unison.
John felt the frustration building. He was absolutely exhausted and the constant pestering about such a sensitive topic to him was becoming taxing on his mental state. John honestly just wanted to curl up in bed with his head in your lap and have you read aloud whatever book you were reading until he was asleep. Nurture was what he needed and you were the only person on the planet he’d tell this to, but you two had barely had a moment to chat this week.
“The answer is, no.” John stepped toward the door which had Jj retreating away. An angry look on the young boys face that matched his father’s almost identically.
John opened the door with a lot more force than needed and marched down the hall to go downstairs. That’s when Lily screamed bloody murder from her room directly next to Jj’s. With a huff of a sigh John grabbed the stairway railing and sighed as he pinched the bridged of his nose. Breathing deeply, John willed himself to not lose his temper as he went to go get his youngest daughter. Jj and Evelyn both b-lined it to the door and followed their father into Lily’s room.
With a huge smile on his face, that was somewhat forced, John entered the screaming toddlers room who quickly stopped her crying at the sight of him. Just the sight of his baby was enough to begin to quell his foul mood. The cruel reality disappearing for a moment as John saw his babies tear stained cheeks and freckled face.
“Hello, peanut. You awake?” John used the higher pitched voice only reserved for his children and small animals.
“Da-ddy.” Lily hiccuped out reaching over the cribs railing and grabbing air to make John come grab her quickly.
She had fat crocodile tears in her eyes and looked distraught. Her wavy brown hair was sticking up in odd directions and her shirt was pulled up so her chubby tummy was on display. She was dressed in her pjs that were white with little giraffes on them.
Evelyn and Jj took this as the chance to shut Lily’s door and corner John for the second time. John knew what they were doing but was more concerned with his two year old.
Lily was usually happy as a clam after a nap, crying for either of you was out of character. She normally would giggle and call for one of you then as soon as you entered the room she’d scream ‘boo.’ You would have to act fake scared so you could hear the toddler laugh hysterically. If you didn’t she’d be moody toward you.
Lily’s crib was across from the door while the changing table rested against the left wall. On the right wall was the rocking chair and a short bookshelf. She had the smallest room and no closet. Only a trunk that sat against the same wall as the door. Her room was lilac and had a mural of a giraffe on the right wall that your niece painted, and all the furniture was a light tone of grey.
“What’s the matter?” John asked the two year old as he hoisted her out of her crib.
Lily was hiccuping and sniffling. Her little body stiff and upright as she rubbed her teary eyes. John rubbed her back and laid her down on the changing table as he prepared to change her diaper and then back into her day clothes. With one hand on Lily’s chubby belly John was looking through the drawer where you two kept the diapers only to see it was empty.
“Daddy, cmon you gotta tell us about grandad. Is he sick?” Evelyn pushed.
“He’s not sick.” John said simply.
“Dad, please. Granddads been gutted ever since he got here.” Jj was now in Lily’s trunk, pulling out a package of diapers and tearing them open. Handing John one Jj began to place the rest where they belonged.
“Listen you two. I know it’s alarming but me and your mum planned on chatting to you about this as a family at dinner.” John was a lot more even tempered now as he changed his youngest daughter’s diaper. Lily was still pathetically hiccuping back tears which was worrisome.
Jj and Evelyn shared skeptical looks. Evelyn stayed pressed up against the door, refusing to be batted away as easily as her brother was previously. With a deep breath, Jj and Evelyn shared a determined look and nodded at one another.
Jj was ready to get grounded as he geared up to be fresh to his father; knowing his sister would back him up. The young boy was frustrated now and just wanted to know what was going on even if it meant no tv for the week. He was tired of being treated like a little kid, he was old enough to know what was happening.
By the grace of Lily she started to cry and hiccup out broken sobs as John pulled her purple striped sweater over her head. This stunned both Evelyn and Jj. Lily was not usually a sad child. Vindictive and willing to throw a massive tantrum, yes. but sad? No that wasn’t Lily.
“What’s the matter?” John picked his little fighter up and pressed his lips to her forehead. His facial hair tickled the skin near her baby hair which had the toddler pushing John away by his cheeks. This was a trick you taught him for checking a child’s temperature, but she felt normal.
“Daddy, is she okay?” Evelyn asked still refusing to budge from the door.
“Lily’s what’s wrong?” John asked the two year old. Lily only choked out broken little sobs, looking absolutely devastated. There was no fight behind her tears which had John frowning.
“Are you sad?” Jj asked, tugging his youngest sisters foot. Her pink sock slipping off slightly.
Lily shook her head adamantly that she was sad. John glanced down at Jj feeling appreciative that his son thought to ask that question. Taking his large calloused hand John ruffled Jj’s hair which had the young boy groaning as if it was embarrassing.
“Why are you sad?” John asked his little girl, his deep voice soft and gentle. Hoping the few words she could string together might give him some idea so he could fix this and dry Lily’s tears. John hated when his children cried and he was ready to do anything to help his youngest feel better.
“Fry.” Lily hiccuped out, her bottom lip sticking out in a pout. Her big blue eyes glistening with tears as she stared at John. Her single word was enough in her young mind for her daddy to know exactly what she meant.
“Fry?” Jj and Evelyn said in unison. This had Lily’s sniffles rapidly picking up until she was crying into John’s chest and kicking her legs. Mumbling the next word and having John’s heart flutter.
“Wice.” Lily sputtered out, pathetic sobs ringing in her lilac room and into John’s chest. Leaving behind tear stains and a little bit of snot on his black crewneck.
John snorted a laugh out and then pulled his two year old away from him. Holding her out about half an arms length he looked his blue eyed baby girl in the face as she kicked her feet in protest. Head thrown back and hands reaching for John to pull her close again. With a pathetic sniffles she whispered ‘daddy’ as fat tears rolled down her cute face.
“Do you want fried rice?” John asked which had the little girl shaking her head up and down frantically as if he had cracked the code. Her arms shooting forward again for a hug, so John did just that. Hugging her close and taking his thumb, John whipped her tears. He couldn’t help but laugh at his baby.
“We’ll get you some.” John hushed her, rubbing Lily’s back in soothing circles which had her calming down significantly. Resting her head against John’s neck and mindlessly playing with his facial hair as she hiccuped and started to calm down.
“She wants food?” Evelyn said in disbelief. Annoyed she had waisted any energy being concerned for her baby sister.
“Well, she’s your mother’s daughter; crying over food we don’t have in the house.” John snickered out his words. He knew if you were here you would’ve given him a sharp glare for saying something so cheeky.
It was no surprise to John that Lily wanted fried rice. You had consistently craved it while pregnant with her so it was no wonder it was the little girls favorite food. John could make both of you very happy by ordering take away from your local Chinese restaurant. With the long hours to u were working John was happy to do anything that would leave you with a smile.
“Mum only ever cried about food when Lily was in her belly. She’d kicked your butt if she heard you.” Jj jumped to your defense., desperately wishing you were home to scold John. The young boy was beyond ticked off at his father and was looking for any excuse to give him a hard time.
“I’m allowed to say those things. Your mums been pregnant three times so I think I’ve been around her a little longer than you two.” John shut down the sass, too giddy from how cute Lily was to be annoyed with his son.
“Fair enough.” Jj grumbled practically pouting at this point. The foul mood he was in only intensified now wanting to stick it to John somehow.
“Now how about you two go set the table and I’ll get Chinese for dinner.” John shooed his two oldests away. Hoping the questions about their grandfather had finally ceased.
“Lily cries for rice and now she gets to pick super?” Evelyn asked in disbelief. Mouth hanging open and visibly annoyed.
There was a pregnant pause before she spoke again. John was realizing he had given in to his toddler without a second thought. He knew you wouldn’t mind since you had also been pressing to get Chinese food recently but he didn’t think to ask what Jj and Evelyn may want. John only stared at Evelyn blankly.
“Fine, I’m crying for fish and chips tomorrow.” Her sass was evident and John couldn’t help but playfully scoff at her. She was just like you, snarky.
“Fair. Jj you can pick what we have the day after.” John nodded to his son who looked like smoke was about to come from his ears.
“Why do I get last pick?” Jj was seething now, his bad attitude evident in the tone of his voice. Fists clenched by his sides and his skin feeling hot under his avengers t-shirt, Jj glared up at his father.
“Cmon J work with me.” John groaned out. His hand coming up and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Nothing could ever be simple.
“No I want to pick tomorrows dinner. No fair Evie just gets it.” The challenging tone of Jj’s words was beginning to irritate John. John’s patience was wearing thin while Jj had none left to give.
“Fine, you can have whatever you want the day after.” John said exasperated. Eyebrows raised as if to dare his son to be fresh one more time.
“Whatever I want?” Jj asked just to make sure; a diabolical idea popping into his head.
John knew his son to be reasonable. Jj had always been well mannered and a team player. Jj was not a child who stirred up too much trouble unlike your daughters. But what John wasn’t realizing was Jj was ready to make his father’s life as difficult as possible, out of spite.
“Yes.” John said with a sigh.
“Promise?” Jj stuck his finger out and pointed at his father. Straight faced and making sure there was no way he could back out.
“I promise.” John said absolutely exasperated.
“A man is only as good as his word.” Jj quoted John’s own words and pushed trying to make sure his father wouldn’t take it back. If John did take back his promise Jj’s plan would be foiled.
“Yes, Jj. What do you want? To go out to eat? I’m fine with that.” John was starting to chuckle dryly that his son was being so serious. Did Jj not trust that no matter what his son’s request would be fulfilled?
John thought he knew what his son was getting at. That Jj would request the expensive steakhouse they both loved. To John it wasn’t much of a sacrifice it just meant he would have to pick you up from work.
“I like whatever mum cooks.” Jj said with confidence. A sly smile spreading across his face as he set his father up for failure.
“Your mums not cooking this week because her work schedule is crazy.” John said. Taken aback by his son’s words. Jj knew this so John was confused by the request.
“Fine.” John’s eyes narrowed as his son’s face cracked into a wicked smirk. Jj and John looked a lot alike but right now he was your spitting imagine with that mischievous look.
“I want you to cook mums Sunday roast.” The words were mischievous as Jj hoped his plan would work. This would teach his father to make him wait on family news again.
“Oi, I can’t do th-“
“You said whatever I want. And I want you to cook us a Sunday roast, Thursday.” Jj said smugly having successfully trapped his father. The ten year old felt himself begining to falter at John’s stone cold stare.
“No.” John half barked.
“Okay” Jj shrugged looking at his father unimpressed. It had John becoming suspicious.
“Okay?” John asked starting to feel anger bubble in his stomach. Jj was just doing this to be difficult and it pissed John off. He was already exhausted from putting out the little fires for his family.
“Yeah, I’ll let mum know how you promised me. She’ll probably cook it because she feels guilty because you lied .” Jj said with a shrug. This was something that Evelyn would pull. Jj had taken a page out of her and your book and was going to do whatever it took to get his way.
Jj wasn’t going to actually guilt you into anything but he knew his father had promised to have dinner handled all week ‘no matter what.’ These words were spoken by John at the breakfast table on Sunday and Jj knew his father was not about to end up on your bad side. John’s nostrils flared and the only thing keeping him from flying off the handle was the fact Lily was playing with his mutton chops at the moment and he didn’t want to yell in her face.
“Go to your room.” John said in such a deadly serious tone. Free arm out stretched as he pointed at the wall to the right that intersected Jj and Lily’s rooms. John didn’t have the energy to parent this at the moment.
“Yes, sir.” Jj said with venom.
Evelyn moved from the door and let Jj leave the room. She stood there in shock at her brother’s bravery, this was something she’d pull but clearly Jj was becoming bold. Evelyn was a trouble maker but when Jj decided to go against authority it was him waging war and she was a willful participant no matter the cause. It was her way of paying back her brother for all the bad ideas she normally roped him into.
“Daddy, I think he’s serious. You should just tell Jj what’s going on with grandad and he’ll change his mind.” Evelyn looked at her father who was clearly annoyed. John grunted, internally refusing to be blackmailed by a child and glared down at the eight year old, ponytailed girl.
“If you bring it up one more time you’ll be going to your room too.” John threatened, his voice dropping an octave and the vein by his temple pulsing in aggravation.
“So where does grandad go?” Evelyn looked smug at John. She was challenging him almost begging to get in trouble.
“You know what. Give me attitude one more time and you’ll be sitting in my office, in time out.” John snapped. He had no other place for her to go and think about her bad attitude. It was John’s last ditch effort to get one of his children under control.
Lilly frowned as John raised his voice and visibly pulled away from him. Her little eyes welling with tears that he was upset. Normally it made her giggle but she was sensitive from her need for fried rice. John’s booming voice was a little too close for comfort for the two year old.
“I’m not allowed in your office. That’s mummy’s rule.” Evelyn popped her lips.
She was doing everything in her power to piss John off and also fly under the radar of needing to have consequences. It was her way of standing with Jj even when he wasn’t in the room. She was just like you. Testing the limits until John was losing it.
“Evelyn Mae Price!” John shouted only to have his daughter skirt out of the room and around the corner, sliding into her older brothers room. Lily was now screaming and crying at John raising his voice. John paid for his strong reaction by Lily death gripping his facial hair and high pitch screaming into his ear.
———————
“Sorry, I’m so late.” Your sweet voice came from the back door as you shuffled into the house. Heels thumping against the floor as you kicked them off haphazardly.
John lightened up instantly and felt like the lights in the house were just turned on at how bright your presence was in the house. He missed you so much and desperately needed you by his side. A hug was in order but that would have to wait for later.
John, Paul and the kids were sat at the long kitchen table, all eating dinner. You hung up your jacket and tossed your bag by the door. You were starved and couldn’t wait to sit down and have dinner with your family. You had been looking forward to it all day.
Working these much longer hours was taking a toll and you had been missing your husband and children like crazy. But it was something that needed to be done. You were now spending your days working your dream job but it was harder than you expected. The upside to you fulfilling your dreams was that pay bump, so sending Jj to private school didn’t take such a big financial hit, and maybe you could go abroad for holiday this year.
Lily was covered in grains of rice as her chubby hand dove into the bowl sitting on her high chair and shoved more rice into her mouth. John was actively trying to show her how to use her spoon but she kept humming angrily at him when he got between her and her food. Letting out an aggressively loud shriek as John persisted that she try and use the plastic baby spoon. Normally Lily tried and used the spoon but she was almost ravenous for her fried rice.
“She’s not going to listen when fried rice is in front of her. Good choice of food tho.” You giggled placing a loving kiss to the top of John’s head. He could’ve melted right there on the spot from the loving gesture but looking at him you’d never be able to tell.
“Not giving up that easy.” John grumbled back, a tug of a smile finally having his features soften. Eyes trained on the toddler who was fighting him tooth and nail. John snatched the bowl off the high chair and was now loading up Lily’s spoon and handing it to her so she had no other option but to use it.
“How was work?” Paul asked.
Glancing at his plate you noticed he had barely touched his food which was unusual. Paul and John could eat an absurd amount but you had noticed since Paul first came to stay he had very little appetite. The weight was falling off him which wasn’t necessary since he was of an athletic build. Paul was beginning to look gaunt and you hoped this trend would stop.
“It was good, long. But good. Amazing even.” You smiled politely taking your seat, one over from where you normally sat. It was hard to hide how exciting your jobs was.
Then Lily screamed at the top of her lungs which had you jumping as you gave Jj a side hug and reached across the table to squeeze Evelyn’s hand as a hello. John was at the head of the table with Jj to his right and Paul to his left. Evelyn sat next to Paul and across from you, while Lily’s high chair was pulled almost in John’s lap.
“Bloody hell, she’s got pipes.” Paul grumbled watching his son struggle to get the stubborn two year old to use her spoon, ultimately accepting defeat and tossing the spoon to the side.
This was the most time Paul had spent with Lily not knowing his grand daughter nearly as well as he did Evelyn and Jj.
Since Lily’s birth Mary and Paul had been absent in her life. Paul had never held Lily until recently and Mary had never held her at all. It had been due to you forbidding Mary from coming to the house or John bringing Lily around his mother. Paul had refused to come by if his wife wasn’t allowed and it was unfortunate but you weren’t going to budge on the topic. Paul was a grown man, he made his decision and you weren’t going to feel bad about it. The only thing that you felt bad about was how it tore John up inside.
“Now, that your mums here I think it’s a good time to chat.” John’s words had everyone on edge.
Evelyn and Jj were staring at their father intently, desperate to know what was going on. You on the other hand internally cursed having forgotten you and John decided to talk to the kids about this tonight. You just wanted to eat your food and pig out, if you were honest.
“Right.” You nodded at John, a sadness in his eyes making you feel guilty for wanting to eat instead of aid him.
You knew John was dreading this and how upset he was about his parents splitting up. He had been very open with you about how devastating this felt for him. That even though he saw his parents flaws, that never in his life did he expect for them to get divorced. He may be a Captain in the military and one of the strongest men you had ever met but he was still someone’s child.
This was affecting John deeper than you thought and he had asked for you to be the one to break the news to your children. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to get the words out. Paul had also asked for you to be the one to say it because he was scared he might get emotional. And apparently showing sadness was taboo to both the Price men.
“So, your dad and I have talked and we think you two are old enough to know what’s going on.” You started, the tension at the table building. Paul nodded for you to continue so you did.
“Your grandad is staying with us while he looks for a flat near by. Him and your Nan won’t be living together anymore.” You paused to see if John or Paul wanted to add anything but they didn’t.
“It’s a very sad thing but they think it’s best for them to not stay married anymore. This does not change how much they love each of you. And if you’re sad or have any questions, me, your dad, and your grandad are here to talk.” Watching your children faces drop made your heart ache.
You hated that this was not the first time you had to explain divorce to them and it be about John’s family. You knew Evelyn and Jj both understood what you were saying and that was upsetting for you since they were both so young.
“Why?” Jj asked immediately. His appetite had vanished and it felt like his stomach had dropped down to his feet. This is not what he was expecting and it made his heart ache. Jj angrily shoved his plate away and everyone could see just how upsetting this was for the ten year old. He was breathing heavily through his nose and his face started to turn red as he tried not to cry. Jj batted your hand away as you tried to place it comfortingly on his shoulder.
“Your Nan and I love you both so much. But we just aren’t happy anymore. I’ll be moving close by and will be around a lot more.” Paul spoke softly. You couldn’t help but notice how Paul said both, excluding Lily. But you chalked it up to a mistake, he wasn’t quite use to including Lily as one of his grandchildren.
“Won’t be staying married? Like Uncle Harrison and Auntie Amy?” Evelyn asked. Her eyes fixed on her grandad since the moment you broke the news.
“Well I’m pretty sure they’re getting b-“ John glared at his father as you quickly cut in.
“Well nothings set in stone with them. Let’s keep it to you and Mary.” You cut off Paul and gave him a meek smile. It was not any buisness of your children’s to know at this point if Amy and Harrison were getting back together.
“Did you and Nan get into a fight or something?” Jj asked.
It made no sense why his grandparents weren’t happy anymore but his young mind was finding a way to blame it on John. If John had just let his grandparents come over more this wouldn’t have happened. And if John continued to argue with you Jj would have divorced parents too. It was all John’s fault in the young boys mind and he was resenting his hero for the devastating news.
You and John both watched Paul’s shoulders sag. The man had been so defeated and you and John were realizing questions weren’t helping him at the moment. It was hard enough to tell his grand children this.
Jj’s question also was right on the money. The last fight between Paul and Mary was the final straw. Mary had made the fued between you two seem mundane when it was so much worse than he realized. Paul felt like a fool for having his head buried so deep in the sand but he realized the night he came over on Halloween that he couldn’t be without his family any longer. Mary had dug her hands into each of their children’s relationships in detrimental ways and hearing you tell the brutal truth was a wake up call.
“Why don’t we save questions like that for another day. What’s important is your grandad loves you all very much and it makes him happy to be around you.” You were gently trying to guide your family down the right path. Deciding that creating a loving narrative with the promise of seeing Paul more was best for your children. John just stared at you with a cold expression but just wanted to wrap you in his arms and thank you.
“Exactly, I want to be happy and you all make me very happy.” Paul added. Thankful for your nudge in the right direction.
“You don’t seem happy.” Evelyn stated.
Kneeling on her seat she leaned over and wrapped her arms around her grandads neck. Paul didn’t hesitate to scoop her up and bear hug her. John let out a pained sigh and dropped his head to look at his plate. Paul use to hug him like that, when he was that little and it stirred a bitter sadness up that was inescapable. It felt suffocating but John needed to be strong and show his children they didn’t have to be upset or afraid of these changes. So John pulled it together but still sat their stoic as ever, his fluctuating emotions barely visible on his face to everyone but you.
“Yeah, I’ll be sad for a while but you’re the best at cheering me up.” Paul felt himself getting teary eyed. Clearing his throat and shyly whipping his eyes. John felt a tight sensation in his chest seeing how upset his father was. The only time John had seen his father cry or get emotional was when Paul’s mother passed away.
“We’re all going to be doing our best to cheer up grandad. Got it.” John said firmly. John couldnt provide the comfort that came so naturally for you. The hurt was too fresh and behind closed doors he sought out your emotional support and comforting words.
“Are you sad daddy? I’d be very sad if you and mummy didn’t stay married.” Evelyn asked. Her slender arms still looped around Paul as she snuggled up to him.
“Yes, of course I’m sad.” The deepness of John’s voice was his own way of hiding his emotions.
For John this wasn’t the normal type of sadness he felt where it came out in fits of anger or a sour mood. This was the kind of sadness that left John tired after a full nights sleep. The type where he just wanted to lay down and shut the world out. But as a father of three and with you working so much John wasn’t able to grieve in that way.
“Now, how about we finish eating. Your mums got to be starving.” John pushed having reached his limit.
The room became silent the only sound being Lily blowing raspberries and the scraping of utensil against plates. You watched John fill up his plate again and you knew he was stress eating as a way to cope. Evelyn was sitting in Paul’s lap and you could see how comforting she was to him. Your sweet little girl always rushing to comfort the people she loved.
“Mum?” Jj asked. Pushing his plate farther away from himself.
“Yes, Jj.” You asked, around your spoon.
You had skipped lunch so you were eating much quicker than you normally did. More focused on your food so once you were done eating your family could have your complete attention. Most importantly you wanted to check on John. The bags under his eyes were deeper and his shoulder looked heavy. You also wanted to pour your love all over him since he was all you could think of while at work.
“Can you give dad your Sunday roast recipe and tell him how to make your potato’s?” Jj still had his eyes fixed downward.
The young boy was having trouble grappling with what he had just learned. The anger he felt towards his father only intensifying. It wasn’t fair for these hurt feelings to be directed at John but Jj was too young and inexperienced to know that. So he decided that taking all these feelings out on John might have him feeling better.
“What?” You asked in utter disbelief at how fast the subjected had changed.
John’s eyes narrowed, lips pressing into a firm line and he was instantly ticked off at the request. Jj wasn’t going to give up on making John’s life as difficult as possible. All because he wouldn’t tell him what was happening until now. It was petty and John wasn’t sure how to parent this issue.
“Dad promised that if Lily got to pick dinner tonight and Evie picks tomorrow I get to pick Thursday.” The words came tumbling out as if it was a defense. Then Paul started lightly chuckling. It was the first genuine glimmer of happiness he had shown since he had gotten here.
“So you picked a roast?” Paul was belly laughing and having trouble containing himself. The thought of his son in the kitchen making an entire Sunday roast dinner clearly tickled the man.
“You going to wear an apron too?” You rolled your eyes at Paul’s joke finding it just a bit sexist.
“It not funny.” John sniped.
“Not yet, it’ll be bloody hilarious on Thursday.” Paul started coughing from laughing so hard. Jj looked proud of himself.
“So we’re assuming I’m just going to make this.” John was fuming at this point. Turning to you he gestured as if to get you to be the voice of reason.
“You’re the one who made the promise.” You said with a shrug. You weren’t going to worry yourself about this, John would manage to figure it out some way.
“So you’re not even on my side?” John asked you in disbelief.
“John, this is your fire to put out. You promised me that you’d have dinner handled. However you choose to handle it is up to you.” With that being said you went back to eating your dinner.
“You promised, dad. And you said it’s our job to cheer grandad up and I think this will.” Jj chimed in a teasing tone.
——————
“Daddy?” Evelyn’s sweet voice came from the kitchen doorway, giving John her best puppy dog eyes. She was standing with her hands behind her back and twisting her right foot sweetly as is she was squashing a bug.
“Go away Evie I’m concentrating.” John glanced up to see Evelyn giving him her signature look when she wanted something from him.
She looked so cute with her pig tails and leotard, having just gotten home from dance. John almost faltered and gave in to giving her his attention but then shook the thought away. He had too much to get done and he was stressed enough to be roped into any of Evelyn’s antics. John had also already watched Evelyn show off the dance she had learned today at dance class so he didn’t feel too guilty.
“Jj’s name calling again.” It was clear by the tone of her voice that Evelyn was tattle tailing.
“What did he say?” John was half paying attention. His finger running down the sheet of paper you wrote the recipe down for him on. John was double checking that he had all the ingredients he needed.
“He called me a muppet.” Evelyn sounded hurt and annoyed but John wasn’t too sure because he hadn’t bothered to look up from his list.
“Jj don’t name call!” John yelled from his spot in the kitchen. It was obvious Jj had learned the word from John.
“She started it!” Jj called back.
“If you two can’t figure it out, I’ll finish it.” John shouted feeling a twinge of annoyance. Shooting Evelyn an expecting look she only nodded and scurried back to the living room. She told Jj she was going to get him in trouble for calling her that even though she had started the argument by flinging a rubber band at him.
“Hi, grandad.” Evelyn zoomed by Paul who was now entering the kitchen with Lily in his left arm. She was rubbing the sleep from her eyes and yawning, having went down for her nap an hour late.
“You’re actually doing it.” Paul said with a snicker.
“Promise is a promise.” John grumbled. That’s when Lily noticed her father and began to fuss for him to take her. Kicking her feet and grabbing in his direction.
“Ah, so I did teach you a thing or two.” Paul was smug as he spoke. That was until Lily high pitched screamed and tried to throw herself in John’s direction. Flailing and kicking to try and get to John at any cost.
“Fuckin’ Christ she’s a daddy’s girl.” Paul flinched at the volume Lily was capable of reaching. Quickly pulling her away as she tried to bite his shoulder.
“This is why I told you to stay out of the kitchen with her.” John snapped.
He knew if Lily saw or even heard him she would need to be in the same room as him. Which is why John told his dad to play with her upstairs in her room when she was up from her nap. John couldn’t understand why his father was incapable of following such a simple request. John could hear your voice in his head saying ‘men’ incredulously; and for once John did agree. Men were the worst sometimes.
Now having to take his crying daughter into his arms so she would calm down, John gave his father a mean look. Bouncing her lightly Lily’s tantrum and tears stopped quickly as she buried her face into the crook of John’s neck, one of her tiny hands coming and lightly gripping his thick facial hair. Lily let out a content sigh and whispered ‘daddy’ as she snuggled up to John.
“You sound like a girl.” Paul was quick to insult his son. Finding it ridiculous that John was cooking dinner and now complaining how Mary or you did.
“Watch it. I don’t need any of the kids hearing you talk like that.” John said in disbelief. He swore his dad couldn’t hear himself or didn’t understand how offensive he came across.
“Talk like what?” Paul was defensive as he watched John put Lily in her high chair and then set her up with some age appropriate art supplies. They ended up throw on the floor almost instantly.
“Like being a girl is something to be ashamed of. Or like it’s Y/N’s job to cook for all of us because she’s a woman. I don’t want the kids taking her for granted or thinking that just because I’m a man means I shouldn’t have to help.” John snapped at his father, speaking much more rudely than he normally would. He could take an insult fine but when there was an undertone of disrespect for his wife, John wouldn’t have it.
“It was always your mums job to cook. You never once saw me step in the kitchen? Has, Y/N got your balls in her purse too?” Paul placed his hands flat on the marble counter top of the kitchen island. Challenging his son in a way that wasn’t appropriate in this house.
“Yeah, and you and mum are doing brilliant. I’ll be sure to take your advice.” John smacked his hand onto the counter and barked the words at his father.
The disrespect had the military part of his brain lighting ablaze. Not able to deal with that level of carelessness it was easier to yell than to explain how it made him feel. How belittling his father could be and just why John only respected parts of the man and not his father as a whole.
“I’m sorry?!” The anger was evident in Paul’s voice at his son’s cruel comment. It was lost on Paul how his words could make John react in a volatile way. Paul had trouble accepting he could be wrong to anyone but Mary.
“Look, I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have said that. But maybe it’s time you step out of your comfort zone. You’re going to have to cook for yourself if you and mum are serious about the split. Can’t live off takeaway.” John felt like he opened his mouth and you spoke for him. Clearly your influence on him was greater than he realized and he thanked you internally for helping him grow to a point he could be even and measured like now. In fact John felt proud he didn’t fly off the handle for once.
“I’ve never cooked before.” Paul said simply.
“Well, we’ll both be learning together.” John waved for Paul to join him by the stove.
“Why don’t you just tell Jj no?” Paul asked, still fighting back against the idea of cooking.
“Because I promised.” It was said earnestly but also a dig. Paul had made many a promise that wasn’t fulfilled and John promised he wouldn’t be a dad like that.
“What do you need help with?” Paul asked, a chip forming on his shoulder. He didn’t mean to, but part of him started to resent you for sticking him and John in a position they’d have to cook.
“Here, I need you to peel the vegetables, I’ll do the roast and potato’s. Then I’ll start the gravy.” John seemed to lighten up significantly now having two extra hands to help.
“Actually, I think you’ve got this handled. I’ll go watch telly with Jj and Evie.” Paul walked away smug. Finding it hilarious watching his son’s face drop and be saddled with all the responsibility.
Once again, John was left disappointed and neglected by his father and it was just a joke to Paul. But John wasn’t going to concern himself with that at the moment. He was going to knock your socks off with an amazing dinner. John would have you so impressed that maybe you’d both be able to carve out time for him to vent to you and get the love and support he desired desperately.
——————
Pulling up the driveway to your family home you parked in your usual spot. As you exited your car you noticed your children and their grandfather standing on the back patio with their eyes trained on the window that looked into the kitchen. Lily was crying for John and Paul was trying hush and soothe her, bouncing her lightly and rubbing her back.
“What are you four up to?” You asked in a chipper tone. Heading over to scoop your youngest daughter into your arms to help calm her, but stopping when Paul waved you off.
“Watching dad, burn the house down.” Jj said simply. Thats when your ears tuned in to the sound of the fire alarm going off inside the house.
Evelyn was standing on the picnic table getting a better view of what was happening inside. Her Polaroid camera in hand and a stack of pictures sitting by her feet. She had documented the entire event and would later share these pictures in her class on fire safety day.
“What!” Your voice cracked in fear as you hustled past your children and Paul to go see what the damage was. You threw your purse and keys in the direction of the picnic table only to hear them hit the brick patio instead.
Bursting through the back door a puff of smoke billowed out into the open air behind you. Immediately coughing you waved your hand in front of your face to try and find some breathable air. The kitchen was shrouded in a dense grey smoke. Rolling clouds coming from the open oven and attempting to smother your home.
“Oh my god! John, what did you do!” You shrieked.
John was standing by the oven with a fire extinguisher in hand and looking stone cold as if this was any given day. John had messed up many a time in your marriage but he had to admit this might be the worst one yet. It was definitely the most embarrassing and expensive mishap he’d found himself in.
That’s when a flicker sounded and you watched an orange glow spark in the oven and then flames lunged in your husband directions. John quickly shot off a round of the fire extinguisher snuffing out the flames instantly. Your jaw was on the floor and all your mind could muster to think about was saving your house from going up in flames.
“Is the oven off! Open the windows!” You shrieked again.
Without a word you and John both set into action to fix the mess he had created. John felt like an idiot because, no the oven wasn’t off. How could he be so stupid to not think of that. John’s waited for your back to be turned and then shut it off so you wouldn’t think he was that dumb.
You opened the back double doors and the set out to open every window in the house. You assumed John was doing the same until the shrill sound of the fire extinguisher being used again had you thinking otherwise. You were out of breath by the time you ran back in the kitchen. All the windows on the second and first floor opened wide along with your front door. The fire alarm was hanging by a single wire from the ceiling, John had clearly whacked it with a broom to get it to shut up.
John had ovenmits on as he carried your favorite roasting pan toward the back door. The bottom of it was blackened beyond recognition and it was covered in a foaming white substance that looked like it would be great for decorating around Christmas time. All it was missing was a ginger bread house sitting in the center and it might just look right.
You couldn’t get yourself to follow after your husband. Making your way over to your right you felt like screaming at the top of your lungs. The stove and oven were covered in the foamy white substance. The ceiling now had a brown mark from what you assumed was the roaring fire John started.
The smoke was fading but your anger was building. After working such long hours and now coming home to a mess of this size was far from what you wanted or needed. Not only had John almost burnt down the house but he put your family in danger.
The pots and pans used to cook what looked like vegetables had dribbles of white foam all over them and were burnt to hell. There were carrot peels all over the floor along with other food scraps that had fallen with the cutting board. The gravy had been left forgotten and had clearly burnt to a point that John scrapped it and tossed the pot in the sink to clean later.
You could see the scorch marks on the bottoms of half your favorite pots and pans. Thats when you noticed the fire damage to the wall behind your stove that reached up to the hood leaving the metal blackened. You prayed the backsplash wasn’t ruined and that the damage was just superficial. This was going to cost a fortune to fix and replace everything that was ruined but you weren’t sure your husband would live long enough to see the bill.
“I’ll clean it up. Maybe you can take the kids out for dinner?” John’s raspy voice had you turning around rapidly with one of the most violent looks he’d ever seen. Your fists were clenched by your side and you looked about ready to scream at him or maybe faint, John wasn’t sure.
John swore you could have knocked him out from that stare alone. You looked like you were about to tear him to shreds. Violence was never your style but John feared you may resort to it from how angry you looked. John prayed to be snatched up by the high heavens and spat back out into war, anything to avoid your wrath. Bullets felt less deadly or terrifying compared to the way you were looking at him.
John visibly cringed watching as you grabbed the seat cushion off one of the bar stools from the kitchen island and screamed into it. You stomped your feet like a child and screamed longer than John thought you were capable of. You then threw the cushion in his general direction but missed. Oh, he was in for it.
John didn’t know what came over him in that moment but he reached into his back pocket and tried to hand you his wallet. Silently telling you to spend all of the money he had if it just meant you would be a little less angry with him. He had never been more scared of you in his entire life, the thought that you might just kick him out looming in his mind.
“You are never allowed to cook again.” You hissed, eyes filled with a blazing rage that made the fire from earlier look dull. Only John was still frozen with his arm out stretched and wide eyed like a petulant child who was deserving of a grounding.
“Put your wallet away and grab the mop.” You snapped. Making your way outside to get a breath of fresh air. John moved quickly out of your way his eyes trained on you as you stormed by him.
“How’s everything?” Paul asked as soon as you stepped out onto the patio.
You waved your hand for him to leave you alone and hunched over, placing your hands on your knees. It was taking every ounce of you not to go on a tirade and throw a massive temper tantrum. You hadn’t felt this kind of rage take over you since you were a teenager and you wanted to throttle your husband.
“Want me to take them-“
“Take them to the god damn moon, if you have to, Paul. This is going to take all night for me and John to clean.” You spoke at the ground sounding lost for breath. Paul blinked at you a few times never having seen you so angry before. Part of him felt bad for his son to be on the receiving end.
“Okay, let’s go get some food and pray your dad’s still kicking by the time we’re back.” Paul joked trying to lighten the mood.
The sharp stare you gave him had him now fearing for himself. Paul had never seen you like this and he instantly thought of his children talking about how sweet you were and how John was lucky. Paul wasn’t sure how lucky his son was anymore.
“You can take my car, it has Lily’s car seat. And grab my wallet too, you don’t have to pay, it’s on us.” You told him with a heavy sigh at the end.
You walked over to Evelyn and helped her off the picnic table, your eyes falling on the copious amount of Polaroid pictures she had taken. You hugged your daughter tight and she did the same. Evelyn was always so sweet and comforting it made loving her one of the most natural things in the world.
“I think I’ll pay. Best save your money for new kitchen supplies.” Paul looked sympathetic but you couldn’t bother at the moment. All your children were in stunned silence seeing you the angriest they ever had. Even your two year old stopped her crying and looked at you with wide eyes, mouth hung open and pacifier in hand.
“Feel better mummy.” Evelyn whispered before running over to Jj. Your son was blank faced and you knew he would end up feeling guilty having been the one to ask his father to cook. But you were going to deal with that when he got home. You had too much on your plate at the moment.
Without a word and no push back what so ever your children followed Paul and loaded into your car. You stood at the top of the driveway and watched as they left. It gave you the little bit of space you needed to get yourself in order and go clean the mess John made.
Walking back into your kitchen you caught sight of John with his face in his hands. You wanted to feel sympathetic toward him, comfort him, but then you looked over your kitchen again and those feelings vanished.
You and John didn’t utter a word to one another as you set to work. The pans on the stove had to be thrown out even though you tried your hardest to salvage them; which was a shame because they were high quality with a hefty price tag.
By the time the oven was cleaned you realized the top inside of it was cracked from how hot the fire had gotten. You and John unknowingly were both racking up the cost in damages mentally but once it was obvious the oven and stove would need to be replaced you both stopped.
Paul and the kids were home a few hours later but you were still cleaning things while John went and turned off the gas line so he could get the now ruined oven out and into the yard. Paul told you he’d handle his grandchildren and you thanked him for doing so.
Each of your children came to give you a hug and kiss good night after their baths and brushing their teeth. Jj apologized to you for asking his father to cook but you assured him it wasn’t his fault. That his father should have enough common sense to not set the house on fire.
It was nearing midnight by the time you and your husband were done. Paul had just helped John carry the oven into the back yard while you sat on your kitchen floor with a bottle of wine and didn’t bother grabbing a glass. You were dressed in black leggings and a fitted old t-shirt that was now marked up with black stains.
John shooed his dad to go upstairs and Paul gave you a small nod finding it endearing that you were sat against the kitchen island and being driven to drink because of John. It made him not feel so bad about his situation with Mary.
John shut the back doors and locked up the first floor. Leaving the kitchen windows open to hopefully get the suffocating smell of burnt plastic and food out of the house.
John was exhausted as he plopped down next to you on the floor, the two of you still not speaking or even looking at each other. Your anger had dissipated greatly as you accepted the situation over the hours of cleaning.
“Here.” You said softly, passing John the bottle of wine.
Taking the thick glass bottle John took a large swig from it. It tasted of youth and happier times; he then checked the label. It was the same wine you two served at your wedding. You and John saved a case of it for special occasion and this certainly wasn’t one.
John was shocked to see this was the bottle you opened. You tended to be particular about when you two opened a bottle the only two times being your five and ten year wedding anniversary. With a heavy sigh he took another swig and placed it on the floor between you two.
“Well, it’s still good after all these years.” John mumbled, not sure if you were going to unleash your wrath upon him. Either way he was ready.
“Needed a reminder of why I married you.” You joked dryly. Your snarky humor was always a way to help you cope and even when it came off a little mean John knew it was never your intention.
“Fair enough.” John shook his head a bit dazed after the events of the day. You had every right to be pissed at him and John could accept that.
Thats when he heard a light snort of a laugh come from you. Turning John watched as you started to chuckle a bit more until you were full on laughing. You almost sounded deranged, laughing as if you’d heard the funniest joke ever told.
“Oh god, have I driven you mad?” John asked. Eyebrows knit together, he watched his darling wife lose her mind.
“The one time you chose to cook you almost burn the house down. Who doesn’t know what broil means?! You’re one of the smartest people I know but god was that dumb.” You laughed out. You had no anger left in you and felt a bit dazed after everything. The wine was doing its job and helping you lighten up significantly. John took notice and nudged the bottle towards you, watching your pretty painted nails and then lips as you drank from it.
“I’m so sorry, darling. It’s embarrassing to say but I was trying to impress you.” John’s voice rumbled softly from his chest. The anxiety he was feeling fluttering away. John really thought at the very least you’d ask to grab take out; not for this to happen.
“You’re cute. No more cooking for you tho. And please handle replacing the oven I can’t even wrap my head around it right now. If you get everything fixed and I don’t have to be apart of it, I’ll think about forgiving you.” Your sweet nature had returned and John felt so thankful that you were the kindest person he ever had the pleasure of knowing. It was true what they say, opposites attract. Your kindness and sweet temperament balanced out his moodiness and influenced him to find more forgiveness in his heart. The wine was also helping you lighten up.
“I’ll make sure everything is back to the way you left it. It’ll just take a bit of time.” John sighed out the words feeling a twinge of relief that you weren’t freaking out anymore. Taking a deep breath you rested your head against your husband’s muscular shoulder, yours hands finding the others and intertwining.
“I did get this gem of you. Don’t tell Evie because I’m keeping it.” From your back pocket you pulled out and showed John one of the multiple Polaroid pictures your daughter took of John freaking out about the fire. There were photos of him rushing everyone out of the house and some with the fire extinguisher taken through the window.
The one you snagged was of John reaching forward with a concentrated look and trying to snatch the camera from his daughter. The fire extinguisher in one hand and a smudge of some unknown food on his forehead; T-shirt stained and mid shout. He looked so serious and in control but you found it hilarious that your daughter took pictures the entire time until John chased her off.
“I rushed everyone out and she stood there taking pictures like everything was fine and dandy. You can see the fire in the back!” John pointed to the bottom right corner. John was right you could see the fire raging in the oven with the door closed. You were so focused on your husbands face in the photo you didn’t even check the surroundings.
“You must have been so scared. I know I would’ve been.” You whispered as you looked over the photo one more time. John’s thumb was lighting caressing the soft skin of your hand
“I didn’t have time to be scared. If I’m honest I wasn’t scared until you screamed into that pillow. Thought you were going to kill me on the spot.” John admitted with the smallest of smiles.
“Almost did.” You joked with a cheeky giggle. John sighed out and chuckled, wrapping his arm around you. Bringing you close so you were tucked into the crook of his neck he gave your head a firm kiss. After it all, the comfort of your husband was what you needed more than anything. You both had missed the other’s embrace in the chaos of the past week.
“I’m starving.” You sighed feeling your stomach twist uncomfortably. The wine was hitting you harder because of the lack of food and you already were feeling a little tipsy.
“Icecream?” John asked knowing you always said yes to it.
“Yeah, don’t think you could set that on fire.” You joked and John gave you a playful pitch to your bottom for being cheeky.
“I don’t know I might just find a way.” John joked feeling better that you weren’t as angry as you were before. You snickered at his words finally able to find the humor in it all.
“C’mon, let’s go lay down I’ll grab the icecream.” John was about to get up but noticed that your softness had turned timid.
“John?” You whispered.
“Yes, darling?” With a concerned gaze John sat back again and cupped your cheek so you would look into his eyes. His blue eyes were mesmerizing, you could see your youth in them and the truth came pouring out.
“Your mum called me today.” You bit your lip trying to hold back from name calling her. You wanted to drag John away as soon as you got home but your attention had been snatched by the fire.
“Seriously?” John asked. Legs pulling up and bending at the knee as he leant against the kitchen island; the both of you still sitting on the kitchen floor.
“Yeah, she really laid in to me. Like a final dig.” You whispered down at your knees that were tucked near your chest and your arms lightly curled around them.
“That’s- a lot.” John barely got the words out.
“It was.” There was a lapse of silence as you and John passed the wine back and forth. He wanted to ask if you were okay but he couldn’t get himself to do so. Being too torn up about the situation had John unable to be your normal support.
“She signed the papers today.” You told John hoping the news wouldn’t hit him too hard, but you knew it would.
“I had a feeling. Dad’s moving his stuff into the new flat this weekend. So he’ll be there tomorrow evening to finish packing everything up.” John whispered. It was the first moment you two had found to really talk about what was happening with his parent in the past few days.
“You know I’m not her biggest fan. But maybe they could work it out.” You asked, turning and looking up at John.
“I don’t think so, darling. I am surprised to hear you say that.” John tried to seem okay and joke but you knew he was hiding how horrible he felt on the inside.
“Sounds a bit rude but they’re kinda made for each other. Your dads no peach himself and honestly I think your moms bad attitude overshadows how sexist and stuck in the past he is.” You said it with a sigh. It was nothing new, you and John both already knew this.
“Well, maybe this’ll be good for both of them. Now they’re forced to grow instead of being stagnant.” John sighed almost in relief. It felt better knowing things may change than it all staying the same.
“I never want to end up like them, John.” The shift in you made the air around you both feel electric. John could feel your seriousness as you stiffened next to you.
“We won’t. You’d never allow that.” John turned to look down at you but your eyes were fixed off to your right, looking away from him and out the bay window.
“I mean divorced. It scares me.” You couldn’t even look John in the face as you uttered your greatest fear to him. With what was happening between Paul and Mary you couldn’t help but feel a sense of insecurity; maybe your life would fall into shambles one day.
You knew you should be ashamed to say something like this. John would doubt you as his wife now and you hated that you admitted this fear to him. You always thought you’d be scared of him dying young or you getting sick. Between his job and your family history neither of you should live long.
Yet divorce and the thought of him finding someone else would always leave you petrified. No one else could ever match up to John Price and you’d be lonely forever, if he wasn’t your person anymore, you’d have no one.
But John was handsome he’d be able to move on. You’d just end up an old lonely lady and you were okay with that. You’d spend your days loving your kids and swearing off love. Because the only person you were ever cable of loving was their father. John Price would be your soulmate until the day you died.
“Darling, we’d never split up. Not on my account at least.” John laughed in a light hearted way that made you feel childish or foolish. The feeling wasn’t a present one and you felt belittled. Then the worry and the ‘what if’s’ came spilling out.
“But- what if. What if I end up being a horrible grandmother or the kids despising me when they’re all grown up. Or I become miserable and impossible to deal with and make your life difficult. You’d still stick by me?” You babbled out reasons for John to hate you enough he could leave or cheat.
“The kids would never despise you. Yeah they’ll dislike you at times I mean they’re going to be teenagers sooner than we want. But nothing in this world could keep me from sticking by your side. And there’s no one in this world who’s better than you.” John moved so he was now kneeling in front of you. Your left leg between his thighs as he grasped your face in his rough palms and looked at you with the utmost sincerity.
“Promise.” You asked as if you had no knowledge of your husband’s valor, of his loyalty, or his love for you.
“Of course, I promise. Where’s this coming from?” John asked staring deeply into your eyes.
“Your mum told me I’d end up just like her. Alone, and with you and the kids hating me. And when that day comes she hopes I think of her.” You whispered. It was shame you felt for even listening or feeling this way.
“My mums a mean old bat. You’ll never end up like her.” You stayed silent not knowing what to say to John insulting his mother so blatantly. Only cable of staring at your hands as John rubbed your shoulders.
“The fact you’re even worried is more than my mum’s ever done. You’re nothing like her so that means you won’t end up like her.” John spoke and watched how you stared down at your hands unconvinced. He leaned back to rest on his heels and watched how your pensive expression stayed etched across your features.
“You’re not selfish, you’ve never laid a hand on our kids, and you are the kindest person with such a gentle heart. I know you act all tough but you’re a softy for the kids and you don’t favor one over the other like my mum did. Our kids are lucky to have you as their mother and I sure as hell am lucky to be your husband.” John was lightly grasping your shoulders at this point and love was spilling out of him and adding to the mess of the kitchen.
“I love you.” You gasped out and cried, the tears finally spilling over from the mix of exhaustion and alcohol. John somehow just knew you well enough or maybe he was made for you and just knew what to say. But you melted like butter on a hot skillet and fell into him.
“I love you too.” John whispered as he hugged you tight to his chest. You two stayed like that in the dimmed kitchen light, holding one another on the tiled floor.
“And if me almost burning down the house isn’t enough for you to kick me to the curb I think we can make it through anything.” John joked and felt your sobs turn into confused hiccups as if unable to decided if you should cry or laugh.
“I stil can’t believe you did all this.” You hiccuped with little humor as you gestured to the missing oven and the scorch marks on your wall and ceiling.
“You’re not going to let me live it down are you?” John spoke softly, trying to coax you out of your sadness and worry.
“Never. I’ll be teasing you about it in this life and the next.” You whispered back. You felt silly suddenly realizing John wouldn’t want anyone but you. It took saying those feelings out loud to finally understand you were being irrational and fear was guiding your thought process.
“As long as you’re by my side I can put up with all the teasing your heart desires.” John’s words had you forgiving him but you weren’t ready to tell him that.
“Don’t fib John. Even you have your limits.” You joked. Pulling away you grabbed the wine bottle and took three large chugs of it.
“Okay that’s enough of for you cheeky minx. Let’s head to bed.” John pulled the bottle away, only to be surprised by your hesitation.
“I’m going to call out tomorrow. Why don’t we stay up, get drunk, and play some cards. Be bad parents for once?” You asked expecting John to say you both needed rest.
“Well, we’ll have my dad’s help in the morning so why not. I’ve missed you, darling.”
——————
“Good morning, Y/N.” Pauls voice was like nails on a chalk board to you. He was just walking in after dropping your kids off at school since you and John slept so late that the kids missed the bus.
“Shhh.” You muttered your hangover causing a splitting head ache. You knew he was doing it on purpose.
“Hung over?” Paul asked loudly and then chuckled as you held you head in pain. This was where John got his need to tease from. Paul was notorious for getting under peoples skin and then playing coy when they got upset.
“Dad, leave her be.” John was just walking into the kitchen with a mean look. Dressed in athletic black shorts and a green crew neck sweatshirt, John smiled at you sweetly. He was still thankful you had put your anger aside and chose to be there for him when he was struggling with his parents divorce.
“Clearly. Surprised you aren’t too. Heard you two giggling like school girls last night.” John could only roll his eyes at his father’s words.
You and John got drunk in the living room and ate all the snacks in the house. After losing continuously at cards John popped on a movie and you two chatted away and finally caught up. Giggling about the mess your lives had become and thanking the other for joining you for the ride. John opened up about how upset he was getting from his parents split and told you he felt like a fool for being this hurt. That since he was an adult and no longer a child this shouldn’t be upsetting him this much. You explained that he was allowed to feel what he was feeling and it made sense he was struggling since family had always been his main priority. That of course he’d be struggling because he’d be letting those hard things he felt as a child go unanswered for even longer. John always thought there’d be a time he’d sit down both his parents together and hash things out and now that wasn’t an option anymore and it was okay for him to grieve.
“Thought you had work?” Paul turned to you.
“Used a personal day. After yesterday I just want to rest and enjoy the kids when they get home from school.” You sighed out. Avoiding the vacant spot where the oven used to be and making a bowl of cereal for yourself and then passing the box and milk to Paul.
“Mary use to dread the kids getting home. Well not John she was weak for Mr. Tough Guy over there. Refreshing seeing a mum like you Y/N.” Paul grabbed two bowls for himself and John and then sat at the kitchen island across from where you were standing.
“Mum like me?” You asked handing both men a glass of water since you had no way of making tea. Well, there was the American way of heating up the water in the microwave but it was a little too early to get lectured by John.
John was now sitting next to his father and looking over the back of the cereal box trying to solve whatever kids puzzle was on it. It was easier for John to ignore the conversation at the moment. He was upset with his father’s rudeness yesterday before John lit the oven on fire.
“Yeah, a mum who wants to see all the kids at once. Marys got favorites.” Paul spoke between bites. His words made your heart ache and you couldn’t imagine treating your children differently or favoring one over the other. You knew it was something John felt guilty about since Mary favored him over his siblings but it was no fault of his own.
“And Lily’s not her favorite?” You asked not sure what the answer would be. It was a bit sneaky for you to pry like this but you had no loyalty to Mary.
“I suggest not leaving Lily in her care.” Was all Paul said.
“Why?” John asked shocked at the response. Setting the cereal box down and looking at his father with concern and anger. Yes, Mary was difficult but never had John thought of her as unfit to watch any of his children. John wasn’t sure if his father was being cruel because of the divorce and how he stopped loving Mary or if his words actually held weight.
“You know why, Johnny. You remember how it was with Sarah.” Paul nodded at John as if that was enough to communicate the message, and it was. It left you out of the loop and you looked at your husband who’s faced dropped. John looked sullen and avoided your gaze, not ready to share that part of his childhood. It was also something Sarah hated to talk about or have people knowing so John had kept this to himself out of respect for his sister.
“Oh.” John said simply. John couldn’t look at you as he pushed his bowl away cleary losing his appetite.
“Didn’t that bug you that she favored John.” You asked grabbing John’s bowl to eat since he wasn’t interested. You’d ask John for details later it was clear he didn’t want to talk about it now.
“Never concerned myself with the raising of them really. Only stepped in when she needed me to discipline them. Back then that’s what I thought a good dad was but I see my faults now.” Paul was openly admitting their flaws and you wondered why. But then it occurred to you that that papers had been filed and the loyalty to Mary was signed away with it.
“Don’t you think you missed out on a huge portion of their lives?” Your question had John giving you a pleading look to stop. It was too much for him but you just needed to know. You’d never had such a candid conversation with Paul before and you weren’t sure you ever would again.
“I do. And now I have nothing holding me back to enjoy my kids and grandkids. No one filling my head with nonsense that makes you look like a bad woman or John a weak man.” Paul seemed adamant that things would be different for him now. The admission very telling of how Mary spoke of you to him in private. John scoffed at Paul’s words, never thinking himself weak but clearly his mother had a different perspective. The hurt was only building for John now knowing his father would possibly be spilling the hurtful things his mother said to only him because she thought Paul would always hold her confidence.
“Yeah?” John asked a bit skeptically, biting his tongue from lashing out at how calloused Paul was unintentionally being. But Paul wouldn’t be able to see it that way. He was too weighed down by the pain and sadness of divorcing the woman he thought he would be buried next to.
“Yeah. I don’t think if Mary caught you two half naked at your flat all those years ago it wouldn’t have been so hateful for you two. But it has and I can tell you she has no intentions of stopping. If you ask me she should’ve kept her nose out of it but she’s her own worst enemy.” Paul spared you a quick glance and looked embarrassed to do so. It was the first time he’d blatantly acknowledged what had happed over a decade ago to you. How Mary tried to paint you as a whore that the family should turn their backs on and John was weak or shallow to stay with you.
“Why don’t you care.” You asked, lightly prying for information. It was also said in slight disgust because it took this long for Paul to acknowledge the start of you and John’s relationship. It took three kids but he finally got there.
“Because I knew you were all going to grow up, fall in love, and get married.” Paul shrugged and continued to eat his breakfast.
“Yeah?” John’s asked indignantly, he was so nauseated by the display he almost missed how sincere his father’s response was.
“Yeah. And you’re lucky, son. To have married a woman who’ll never drive your children or you away. A woman who’ll cook you a meal because she just wants to and without expecting you to give her everything you have to offer in return. Someone who isn’t bleeding you dry financially and emotionally just to later use you as a pawn in her game. Ya’know, real love. An unselfish love.” Paul glanced down at his hands and the sullenness he had shown you faded into shame. You couldn’t even feel complimented by his statement you just felt sorry for the years he’d spent chained to someone who made him feel so awful. You weren’t sure if he felt stuck or willing stayed because he was scared to be alone. Either way you were happy he was strong enough now to make his way on his own and find happiness.
“Spent too long thinking I had that only to realize too late how much time I’ve waisted and hurt it caused. I’m sorry to the both of you for not standing up to Mary. And I’m sorry Johnny for laying hands on you when you were just a boy. And never putting a stop to how Mary favored you at the expense of Sarah.” Paul looked you both in the eyes as he spoke and apologized.
It was the most sincere he had ever been and he wore his shame on his face. A silent plea for forgiveness that wasn’t yours to give.
Looking over at John his face was etched in pain and it looked like he might be sick. You knew how much this meant to him and he was having trouble processing his father’s apology. John wasn’t even able to hide the hurt on his face, his stoic nature faltering and leaving him vulnerable for the first time since he was a child with Paul. Paul had never said he was sorry for anything to John and the words felt as if John had plunged into an ice bath. He wasn’t sure if he should resent his father or cry out in relief to finally have gotten what he was searching for after all these years. The child inside of him wept to hear such things but John sat there silently not able to find the right words.
“Are you okay John.” Your sweet voice felt like a warm blanket draping over his broad, heavy shoulders. The love you had for him would be enough to get him through this, no matter the hurt.
“No, but I will be.”
~~~~~tag list~~~~~
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thelovelyruin · 4 months
Text
𝖘𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊.
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𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : yandere choso x fem reader
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : choso fell in love with you freshman year and it was finally time to make you his.
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : smut, porn with plot, vaginal sex, praise, love, manipulation, murder (not you!)
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 7.1K
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from saccharine by jazmin bean.
𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, thank you so much for reading! this was a request i’ve been working on for a while lol; i hope you enjoy it; if so, follow me for more. au revoir!
18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT
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Everything you do, I'm obsessed with you.
“Exciting, isn’t it?”
“Huh? I mean, yeah it’s cool.”
“Are you rushing too? I really wanna go Kappa!”
“That’s, uh, aren’t they kinda…”
“What, cunts? Yeah, I’d fit in nicely.”
When Choso first met you during rush week a couple years ago, you were an aspiring freshman looking for a sorority to pledge to, and he was a normal guy. Sorta. You’d spoken to him once and he became absolutely in love with you. Not like he hadn’t been with other girls in the past, a few relationships here or there. But you were different. Not like any other girl he’d seen. You hadn’t shared too much with him that day, but he was determined to figure out, well, everything about you.
I don't mean to scare, but you're just so cute.
It started with your name, which he’d simply just asked someone in your class. But then, Choso needed to know more, when was your birthday, were your zodiac signs compatible? He’d gotten that information from stealing your campus ID out of your purse while you two were in class together. Choso was paying really good attention to other things too though. He’d paid attention to your screen while he sat behind you, online shopping when you were supposed to be paying attention to the lecture. That’s how he found out what size you were and the brands you liked, but other things got a little trickier. He noticed the way you did your makeup, it was always so pretty, but it’s not like he knew what any of it was, so he’d slowly started stealing things out of your makeup bag. It was harder to get your perfume, though, until you reapplied it on the campus lawn one day. Pink sugar, huh? Sweet just like you. Choso wanted to be even better, he’d send you flowers with no receipt of who sent them, an array until he found your favorites. He’d pay for your food when you went out to eat, then leave to remain anonymous. He just loved seeing that smile on your face whenever he surprised you with something, always grateful, looking around to see if you could catch your secret admirer, but blushing when you realized you wouldn’t. God, you were perfect.
Lucky for you, you had actually gotten into Kappa. You walked around on this high horse though, one of those kiss-my-ass kind of attitudes. Not like anyone was gonna check you for it, well, ‘cause you were hot. Always well dressed, always groomed, always punctual. There was nothing anyone could really say about you other than you being a bitch, at least never to your face. Little did you know, Choso was your bitch. If you ever even glanced at him, he’d almost faint, and as the sophomore and junior years came and you’d gotten classes with him, he’d go back to his dorm and fuck his fist at the thought of you every day. But now, it was Senior year, and he was running out of time to make you his.
Every move you make, you're fucking sweeter than a cake.
Choso originally planned to just ask you directly, but he had to make sure it was gonna be perfect. He couldn’t leave room for error in the possibility that you weren’t interested at all. So, he’d gotten as close as possible to you. It wasn’t stalking, it was just studying an interest. He was pretty good at photography, so he got hired as a photographer for school events, such as parties or games. He’d walk around and take pictures of everyone like usual to not raise suspicion, but whenever he could, he’d snap as many pictures as he could of you, slipping them into his pocket. When there was too much going on at the party downstairs, he’d sneak upstairs to find which room was yours, for research purposes of course.
Well, that research went directly to Choso knowing which window to take pictures outside of. You were so oblivious, often leaving your curtains wide open as you just got out of the shower, dressed in nothing but a towel. Now, Choso never got a snapshot of you naked or anything like that, but the hopes of the day he could got him pretty damn hard. He’d take pictures of you walking around campus, doing fundraisers with your sorority sisters, running for the pageants that you always won, with the exception of Miss Junior, who you exposed for cheating on her boyfriend so she’d be out of the running. So, you’d won that too. You were practically perfect, Choso felt you were made for him, there was a true possibility he could nurture and care for you, allow you to let your guard down a bit and let him someone in. He imagined himself taking you out to all your favorite restaurants, he had all of them written down along with your favorite menu items. Nights in his room cuddled up watching all of the movies you liked, you’d be so excited to see all of your favorite snacks already waiting for you. You’d wear that glitter lipgloss you loved, he’d make sure you had more than enough, considering he’d already bought two tubes for whenever he made you his. He imagined making love to you, hearing you moan for him as he pleasured you, then put you on his chest as you fell asleep, resting his eyes as he held you. You two could truly be in love. 
I'd love to wipe these other bitches out, so it's just you and me.
But, you had a fucking boyfriend. It’s not like he didn’t like seeing you with other guys. He fucking hated it. Choso thought the guy was pretty scummy, he had that douchebag personality and always looked at guys like Choso like he was a piece of shit. But that asshole was truly a piece of shit. Megumi, or something like that. Choso didn’t bother doing too much digging up on him because it wasn’t gonna matter very soon. You guys had been dating since the beginning of the school year, not very long, but that didn’t stop him from talking to other girls when you weren't around. He’d forget your dates, and make you cry. Wouldn’t post you on his socials, almost pretended he was single. Choso had half a mind to stab him to death, mostly because he didn’t like the way he treated you, but also because then he wouldn’t be in the way anymore.
Then, there were your damn sorority sisters. Those bitches were definitely in the way. They took up too much of your time, making you busy every day with planning and meetings, to do what? Party and maybe, fundraise? He’d see them sometimes talking shit about you, saying you were weird or a bitch, or something else that wasn’t true about you. Choso would never say those things about you or treat you like that. You deserved someone who actually loved you and cared about you, none of these other distractions. He would give you the world, but that meant getting rid of the world you had first.
Oh, oh, this shit is scaring me…
Now, when Choso originally thought of doing this, he thought it was a little nuts. It was a little extreme, sure, but it was just an obstacle in the way to get to you. Sometimes, we do bad things for the people we love. It doesn't mean it's right, it means love is more important. 
Choso originally thought of actually stabbing Megumi like he wanted to. That fell quickly when he really considered the situation. Megumi was on the lankier side which meant it would be more tactical to get a hit in, plus he’d need to find a time he’d be alone in a discreet location to hurt him with no one noticing. Not that he’d really care if someone saw, it would just mean he wouldn’t be able to live the rest of his life with you; that was not an option. Shooting would be just as difficult, shell casings and the sound of gunfire could get him in deep. Could steal the brakes from his car, but then there was the possibility you were in it when it crashed, and for that, he’d never forgive himself. He’d need something that anyone could have done, an accident perhaps, something that wouldn’t kill Megumi, just get him out the fucking way. Then he got a little idea.
Don't wanna stick my fingers in this, or I'll start to bleed…
“Hey, Megumi!”
“Do I know you?”
“Well, we literally live on the same floor, but um, no. Anyways, wanted to talk to you about something…”
“Get on with it.”
“It’s her birthday today, your girlfriend that is.”
“Oh yeah. Well, why the fuck do you care?”
“We’re kinda close, wanted to get her something, but I’ll be too busy with classes to give it to her. Do you mind giving it to her for me?”
“You got my girlfriend a gift, bitch? What the hell’s in this box?”
“Well, that’s kind of a surprise for her…”
“Get the fuck out of my face before I beat your ass. Leave my girl alone, you fuckin’ weirdo.”
Megumi had slammed the door on him, just like that. Usually, Choso would’ve been really torn by his insult. He was pretty pissed Megumi forgot your birthday too, but how could he be pissed, truly? Not when a sweet resolution to Megumi’s shitty ways was on the horizon.
“Megumi’s like totally dead!”
“Omg, what do you mean he’s dead?”
“Well, he went to the hospital ‘cause he came down with like a fever or something? Todo said he couldn’t even talk when he found Megumi in the hallway and his eyes were all watery. The doctors said he died of, shit, what’s it called again? Whatever, like he couldn’t breathe! I don’t know what the fuck happened, but damn, really sucks, ya know?”
“Babe, I’m so sorry. To be fair, he was a dick.”
“Yeah, you’re right. He didn’t have a big one either TBH.”
Well, shit. Choso didn’t mean to kill him, not really. He knew Megumi was a fuckin’ asshole, though. Paired with someone crushin’ on his girlfriend and his ego, Choso knew Megumi was gonna open that box. And what was in it? Initially, Ricin covered the inside of the box, which when inhaled, caused damage to the respiratory system, which Megumi could technically recover from. Choso had extracted the Ricin from some castor beans. The same castor beans that were crushed inside of the cupcake sitting in the box. All 10 of them. Originally, Megumi would’ve lived, had he just thrown it away and not have been nosy, and if he did end up giving it to you, Choso would be there to intervene and he’d deal with that explanation later. But Megumi chose to be a nosy bastard, open it, AND EAT THE CUPCAKE! It was comical, really, considering Ricin can’t be found in an autopsy, so Choso got away with it. It’s okay. It had to be done. That greedy asshole got what was coming to him, and with him out of the way, Choso was cleared to enact Phase 2.
It's sweet like saccharine, what I’d do to have you sitting here next to me.
A couple of days after Megumi died, you pretty much got over it, walking about as if nothing happened. To be fair, he was cheating on you all the time, lied to you, and overall treated you like shit, so it wasn’t that hard. What Choso didn’t expect was for you to get kicked out of your sorority house.
“Listen, babe. Your dead boyfriend is really throwing off the vibe here. Plus, it’s bringing a lot of bad looks to the rest of us because it seems like you honestly don’t give a fuck that he died, and truthfully, neither do we, but damn bitch, try acting like it!”
“Please, Chapter President, I can act like I care, I just-”
“Sorry girlie. You’re still a sister, don’t worry. You do have to leave the house though.”
Choso felt a little bad. A little. They really were bitches, but this was perfect. He’d just saved himself from starting a gas leak at the Kappa house when you weren’t home. He didn’t like that your feelings were hurt though, and he beat himself up about it. Choso himself wasn’t really a good guy, killing your boyfriend on your birthday? Almost killing your sorority sisters before they pretty much kicked you to the curb? He was doing the exact opposite of being a good boyfriend. He’d be on his toes from now on, can’t risk ruining his chances with you. However, it was all in good light. You were becoming more and more ready to fall into his arms.
Apparently, you pretty much kept to yourself and stayed in your room. Your classwork was slacking a bit, and you couldn’t live at the house, but that didn’t stop you from still trying to be involved, participating in some campus events, and fundraising with your sisters despite your exile. You were a normal girl, humbled for sure, but Choso didn’t like that very much. He never intended to break you down like this, while you were still sweet in his eyes, he knew you loved the life you had before. He can’t unkill Megumi, which wouldn’t make sense anyway because Choso was your boyfriend now, but he’d give you a life even better than the first. One where you and he were together.
Like cherry pie, will you be mine?
Now, Choso was a real sweetheart, getting you so many gifts for when you came along, preparing how he’d approach you, compliment you, fuck you. But he was getting a little impatient. At this point, it was already the tail end of courses before winter break so he didn’t have much time to see you every day, even though he’d make that happen regardless. Plus, all of the shit that had happened to you would wear off in a couple of days, so he needed to act now. Choso knew he couldn’t make you fall in love with him overnight, and it would be too hasty to try to take it slow with you now. So, he had no choice. He was gonna kidnap you.
Now, “kidnapping” is a rather strong way to put it. In reality, Choso was gonna come to see you and talk a bit, but if that didn’t work, he’d hold you at knifepoint and make you come back to his dorm with him to enjoy all of the things he’d set up for you! He would never hurt you intentionally, so it’s not like he was gonna use it, but he had to make you think he would. He wished kidnapping you was legal, why wouldn't he want to be able to love you and take care of you all the time? It’s okay, you’d learn to love him back. After all, Choso wasn’t your ‘maybe’. Choso was your ‘one’.
Sweet to the core, I want some more.
Choso decided he’d make his move on you the night of the last Kappa party of the season, too many people for anyone to notice him running off with you, plus he knows you’d look so pretty in your party dress, hair all done up, heels making those legs of yours look so pretty. And you did! Except, you were crying. When Choso got to the party and spotted you, you were sniffling as you walked out the back door of the house. Now, he had to be strategic about this, so he exited out the front in time to catch you walking from the back. When he’d gotten outside, he saw you walking down the sidewalk, but it wasn’t very well, your heel had broken and you were having to walk barefoot. He felt terrible seeing you like that. You looked so sad, so scared, just broken. Choso had to make things right.
“Hey, you okay?”
I love you.
I can hear your words breaking down my core…
You looked up at him with those beautiful doe eyes of yours, bloodshot and watery from crying, but still, you looked stunning.
“Oh, hey Choso. Honestly? No, I’m like not okay at all.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, my ex died and everyone’s making a super big deal about it. Like, people kept coming up to me asking questions and stuff like I was there when he died or something.”
“Oh, um-”
“Sorry, I know I sound like a twat right now, but he cheated on me like all the time! It’s honestly a long shot to say we were even together, not be cocky or anything, but I think he dated me to make himself look better. Plus, he got me in hot water with my sisters, like he’s haunting me after death or whatever.”
“Sounds like he wasn’t really a good guy…”
“Yeah, pretty much. Anyway, now I have to walk back to my stupid dorm with no shoes because I fell over like a klutz and just embarrassed myself to the nines. I don’t even wanna go back there, just makes me sad, ya know? I came out to this stupid party to get my mind off things and it’s like things are just bleh. It doesn’t even feel like anyone likes me anymore. I wish someone just loved me for me, ya know?”
I think about you every day at least a hundred times or more.
Choso walked up and hugged you, bringing you into his embrace. It was a bold move for sure, especially with the knife sheathed on his waist, but he just hated seeing you cry like that. Soon, you’ll feel how nice it is to have someone care about you so much. To have someone who wants to revolve their entire life around you.
“It’s okay. Know you don’t know me very well, but I’m here for you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I don’t wanna be too forward or anything, but you can come back to my dorm for a few, that is, if you don’t wanna go back to yours.”
“That’s so sweet, thanks!”
Fuck, this was perfect! He didn’t even have to threaten to kill you! Choso offered to pick you up, which you happily agreed to, holding your heels in your hand as he carried you back to his dorm. On the way, you talked about a bunch of stuff you liked, mostly things he already knew about you, but there were a couple of new things that enticed him. You’d stopped crying, that sweet smile back on your face as you found comfort in Choso’s arms. He’d gotten back to his dorm fairly fast, not wanting to waste much time to get things rolling. He figured he’d start with telling you about his love for you, really seeing if you-
“OMG, YOU HAVE THIS???”
You pointed at the movie poster on his wall, one of your favorite movie. He’d studied it a lot, trying to figure out why you liked it so much. He’d watched it over ten times by now, buying the poster as a touch when you finally came, which worked!
“Yeah, it’s a pretty good-”
“Pretty good? It’s like the best movie ever!”
“We can, uh, watch it if you want.”
“Yes, I’d love that!”
Choso was so lucky. Here you were, sitting with him on his bed as you watched the movie. You’d stop every few minutes and point out something about it you knew a fun fact about or laugh at the parts you’d seen so many times. You were so damn cute. You’d pretty much forgotten all of the stuff going on, able to just relax with him for once. Don’t you see how nice this is? How special things can be? 
“Oh wow, it’s getting late. Shit, I still have to walk back.”
Just like that, the movie was over. You looked tired, not just physically but mentally too. You couldn’t leave though, that’s not how this was gonna go.
“Are you sure you’re good to walk?”
“Whatcha mean?”
“I mean, your heels are broken and it’s too dark outside to be out there by yourself. Something could happen to you.”
Fuck, Choso was a little too bold with that last part. He was probably coming on too strong, he’d need to fix-
“You’re worried about little ‘ol me?”
“Something like that…”
YES. He was so fucking worried that sweat was about to drip from his face, red with anxiousness that the love of his life was about to leave him behind.
“Well, you could always walk with me. Or do you just wanna spend more time with me?”
You gave him a little smirk and wink, it went straight to his dick as he tried to think of a way to respond.
“I, um… yeah, I would.”
Your answer to his statement would be the deciding factor between you staying or him picking up that knife from his jacket on the chair. Fortunately for you, you smiled and put your things back down, sitting on the bed as you looked up at him.
“Fine, but we’re gonna watch another movie. Your pick this time.”
You make me afraid, come closer, wait no, go away…
Ten minutes into this movie and he felt like he was gonna fucking explode. This time around, you’d gotten closer to him. Instead of sitting at the end of the bed, you laid beside him, not quite touching you, but he could definitely smell you, and fuck, you smelled so good. It was becoming painful to not touch you, but he couldn’t risk fucking this up. You looked so nice like this, chest moving up and down as you laid comfortably, eyes low, obvious you were getting tired. 
“Hey, Choso?”
“What’s up?”
“Thanks for, ya know, being nice to me. I’m not anyone’s favorite these days…”
You looked so sad, but Choso couldn’t be happier. You were starting to recognize the only person who really cares about you is him!
“Yeah, but you’re my favorite.”
“Really? But, you barely know me.”
Choso actually knew you very well. Probably better than you know yourself.
“You’ve just got that type of personality that’s really easy to like, is all.”
You sat up now and looked Choso in the eyes, making him blush instantly.
“Oh yeah? So, you like me?”
Choso started stuttering and sweating, flustered beyond reason as you gave him one of those smirks. At this point, he didn’t even have to tell you. His body language was more than obvious.
“I was just kid-”
“Yes, I mean-”
You both looked at each other in shock. Why the fuck would he say that? You were fucking joking. Choso was stupid to think you were serious, not like he really had any chance with a girl like you. But that’s okay. He was gonna make one. Although, he didn’t know whether to love or hate you right now, most likely both. You looked up at him optimistically, like you were waiting on his response, but also blushing a bit as he nearly popped a blood vessel in front of you. He couldn’t even speak, choked up on his words as you brought your hand on top of the one he had leaning on the bed.
“Tell me, do you?”
“I do, for a while now.”
“So, why not ever talk to me?”
“Because you’re pretty hard to talk to.”
“How’s that?”
“You’re usually, um-”
“A bitch? Yeah, I am. But these past few weeks have humbled me.”
Choso wanted to laugh a little. Of course, it was because of him and the precautions he’s put in place for you two to end up together. You didn’t need to know that part though. You looked down, that same broken look you’d been putting off all night. Everything in him told him to stop, don’t be too hasty and he could probably get back to the plan, but it hurt him to see what he’d caused. It definitely didn’t help that you were crying again, bringing your knees to your chest as you fell into the realization of how messed up you felt. Choso pulled you into his arms, laying your face into his chest as he rubbed your back. You felt so warm, so soft, he didn’t want to let you go. Ever. 
“It’s not your fault. So, don’t beat yourself up about it.”
“Thanks, you’re right.”
It was hard to feel like the bad guy when you were smiling at him, finding comfort in his words. You two were dangerously close now, eye contact had him feeling like a deer in headlights, while you remained cool and collected, like usual. That’s one of the main things he loved about you, despite all of the crazy shit going on, you still try to appear fine, but that was far from the truth. He’d be a shoulder for you to cry on, someone you could depend on and pour your feelings into. Give your heart to someone who’s worthy of loving you back and spending their every breathing second devoted to keeping you happy.
Saccharine, what I’d do to have you sitting here next to me. 
You’d kissed Choso softly, leaning in slowly enough to feel his breath hitch on his lips when he realized what you were doing. It was perfect. Your lips felt even softer than he thought they would, gentle and loving as you brought yourself closer, closing the distance between you. He had to get his head together, he’d practiced this part over and over again, and all he had to do was focus and execute it. First, cup your face with his hand. You smiled into his lips when he did this, allowing him to move to the second step, and bring his hand to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. You softened into his touch as he laid your back on the bed, opening your legs to let him on top of you. You were so sweet, moaning softly into the air as he began sucking the skin of your neck. Choso wanted to claim you, he’d finally gotten to kiss you and he needed everyone to know you were his. He sucked a little harder and felt ecstatic when you didn’t stop him, instead groaning as bruises began to flower on your skin.
“Choso…”
Shit, you moaned his name. It felt exhilarating, something he’s been waiting for for so long finally coming true. It lit a fire under his ass, coming up to kiss your lips once before he brought his lips back down to your collarbones, moving lower as his hand massaged your side. Once he’d reached the skin of your breasts, he’d stopped, looking up to you for the green light to keep going. Even though you didn’t really have a choice in spending the rest of your life with him, consent was still pretty important to him, so when you gave him a nod, he took off. Choso brought his fingers to the hem of your dress, pulling it over your head as you brought your arms up to aid him. God, you were beautiful. Your tits were on full display to him now, nothing covering you but a lacy pink thong. He was gonna start hyperventilating, your tits lifted as you breathed, nipples calling out to him like they needed saving. He brought his lips down swiftly and wrapped his tongue around one of them, immediately putting the other between his fingers to pinch as the rest of his palm massaged your breast. You started whimpering for him now, touch-starved since your boyfriend died, but Choso hoped it was also because he was doing things better than anyone you’d been with before. He alternated his mouth, groping and sucking as much as he could, relishing in the feeling of your tits in his face for the first time. As much as he could stay there all day, he knew you needed more, so he kissed his way down your stomach, lips grazing your pantyline. Choso sucked the skin of your stomach as you bucked your hips against him, turned on as he took care of you.
“Choso, please…”
He looked up into your eyes as he brought his lips off your body, fingers hooking into the fabric of your thong as he pulled them off of you. Holy fuck. You were soaking wet, lips glistening with your juices as your hips shifted slightly to invite Choso in. Without hesitation, he brought his lips down to your pussy, beginning to devour you. You tasted amazing, drinking the nectar of a fruit long awaited and it almost made him regret not planning to kidnap you sooner. You smelled so fucking good too, your pussy engulfing all of his senses as he ate you like his last meal. Your fingers found their way into his hair, moaning his name into the air with every lick of your clit. Sideways, up and down, circles around your bud, anything he could to hear you moan for him, to make your pain go away. He’d brought your legs over his shoulders and rested his hands under the arch of your back, angling your hips so he could eat you exactly how he wanted. Messy and slow, he took his time spreading your juices all over his face as you panted and pulled at the sheets. He was self-indulgent, tongue pumping in and out of you as he lived out his fantasies of eating your pussy.
“Choso…I-I…”
Shit, you were close. Choso was about to make you cum! He doubled down immediately, bringing his arms over your thighs to keep you in place as you felt your orgasm approaching. He’d picked up his pace too, tongue moving at a hungry pace as he anticipated your cum in his mouth. The hand you had in his hair gripped tighter, Choso taking it as a cue to bring his lips up and suck your clit, suction bringing your bud against his tongue. You came fast and hard, grinding your pussy against his face as you came for him, his name slipping off your lips over and over as you rode out your high.
You’re sweet to the core. 
You looked so pretty for him, chest rising and falling as you caught your breath. Choso slowly kissed his way back up your body, lips finding themselves on yours. This kiss was different from before, more intense and confident. At that point, you’d already started unbuckling his jeans, kissing him feverishly as you helped him take his clothes off. Hovering over you, he looked at you in awe. Legs on either side of his, big doe eyes looking up at him, waiting for him to fuck you.
“Holy shit…”
Your hands found his hair, gripping and tugging at it as he slipped in at a slow pace. Choso took his time, exploring the walls he longed for the feeling of. Every stroke nearly sent him over, wet and warm, you were like heaven wrapped around his dick. You felt even better than he’d imagined, much better than his fist he fucked to the thought of you. Especially with how you were moaning for him, it was driving him crazy, all he could do was praise you.
“You’re perfect…so fuckin’ perfect…”
“I know…”
God, he’s never felt like this. You were sucking him in like you were made for him, holy shit, he was losing his mind. Touching him, feeling your warmth on his shaft as he fucked you faster. You were so beautiful, lips pursed as you breathed up and down, eyes fluttering as he fucked you.
“You feel so good, baby…”
“Choso…”
His name was killing him. He’d put in so much time to make sure he fucked you exactly the way you needed him, he had to make the first time perfect. A man that could care for you. Love you. Please you. Choso finally had you, and he was going to give you the fucking world.
I need to hate you before it's too late…
“So fuckin’ pretty, baby…”
Choso gripped your legs tight as he fucked into you fast, making you scream his name out into the room. You were doing this for him! Moaning for him! And you felt so fucking good wrapped around him, more than anyone ever before. There wasn’t anyone before you and there wasn’t anyone before him. Your world would revolve around him now like his revolved around you, every waking moment of being in love would be magical. 
“Choso, I-”
“Let me have it, baby. I’ve waited so long for it…”
He didn’t care what he was saying anymore, too high on you and your pleasure that he couldn’t think straight. If you were gonna cum for him, he needed it now, like his life depended on it. Something to signify the beginning of all of the pleasure he’d give you from this point forward.
“You know how long I’ve wanted this, baby? Fuck, I’m close…”
“That’s it, baby, let go, let me make you feel good…”
“So pretty, cumming on my dick like this…”
Choso was so fuckin obsessed with you. You came down like an angel, eyes fluttering as you murmured his name softly, body melting into the bed. He halted inside you as he came, losing his mind over the way your nails dug into his arms. You two lay there panting for a bit, Choso’s arm bringing you into his chest. So beautiful like this. He’d finally made it, you in his arms, right where you belonged.
Before I crave you…so please go away. 
“So, I’m not going back to my dorm tonight, am I?”
No, of course, you weren’t.
“Do you really want-”
“I don’t want to.”
Choso was shocked to hear your words. You actually wanted to stay here with him, he didn’t even have to scare you into doing it! 
“Do you have a T-shirt or something? It’s kinda cold in here.”
“Uh, yeah, let me grab-”
“No problem, I’ll get it!”
Stop it. FUCKING STOP. You were getting too comfortable, about to open Pandora’s box with your hand on his closet door. Choso should stop you, whatever it would take. By the time he’d gotten to the knife, you’d opened the closet, pictures of you all over the walls. Choso lingered behind you now, knife behind his back as he waited for your reaction. You just had to be so fuckin nosy, you’d ruined everything. 
“Choso…are these pictures of me?”
He gripped the knife tightly in his hand as he watched you look through them. He couldn’t even speak, heartbreak and murderous intent flowing out of him. Every picture put another pin in his heart. Photos of you around campus, through your dorm window, in class, all open for you to see. You brought your hand up to one, pulling it down as you looked over it. The picture he took of you on Valentine’s Day. You’d been sitting in class that day, sad because Megumi hadn’t gotten you anything, which Choso figured he wouldn’t. That’s why he had three dozen roses delivered to you on the lawn later that day, eyes brightening as you held them and read the card: “Happy Valentine’s Day, Princess. ~ your secret admirer.” You were so damn happy that day, so perfect. Now, you had to die.
“It was you, huh? All this-”
“Yes. It was always me.”
You pulled another one down, the one of you winning Miss Sophomore. Your face had the brightest smile, holding that crown on your head as you cried tears of joy. You smirked at it, cheeks blushing a bit.
“I look really good in this one, glad someone got a shot of it. So, you liked me this much?”
You’d turned to look at him now, giving him a confused face. Probably because Choso was sweating buckets. His hand shook behind him as he looked at you nervously, analyzing everything about you, any sign that you were scared or wanted to leave.
“I’d call it more than that.”
“So, why not-”
“Because I wanted things to be perfect. I wanted to be perfect for you.”
You gave him a nervous nod and turned back to the closet, pulling down a photo of you in your room back at the Kappa house.
“How’d you do it?”
“I…huh?”
“How’d you take this without getting caught?”
You looked back at him now, a serious look on your face that told him he better fuckin’ answer. What was he gonna do? There was no point in lying to you, everything was there for you to see.
“I learned you and the other girl’s schedules to make sure everyone was asleep.”
“So, what else ya got? Pictures can’t be the only thing.”
Choso pointed to the top shelf of the closet hesitantly. You brought down the bin carefully, sitting it down on his desk as you opened the lid.
“What the fuck, Choso? I was looking everywhere for this lipgloss!”
You’d begun rummaging through the bin, picking up things in remembrance of when you lost them. A couple of hair ties, eyeliner, lipstick napkins. You acted as if there was nothing wrong with this, and it was making it really hard for Choso to read you. His hand alternated between wanting to drop the knife or use it, heart pulsing frantically as you tried on old jewelry of yours. Satisfied with your findings, you moved back to the closet, pulling down the other box on the shelf. The one with his gifts for you.
“Wait! You’re not supposed to see that yet!”
“What is it?”
“It’s something really special... just please, you’re gonna ruin everything!”
You shot him a concerned look and rolled your eyes, walking back over to the bed to take a seat. 
“Answer a couple of questions for me, ‘kay?”
“I-I…”
“Question one, when did this start?”
“...Freshman year, rush week…the first time we met…”
You looked at him surprised. That meant he’d been stalking in love with you for almost four years now and never acted on it.
Just confiscate you, my teeth are in pain…
“Question two, what’s behind your back?”
“Nothing…important…”
Choso was shaking in fear, so much so, he dropped the fucking knife. You both watched it fall to the floor behind him, your mouth agape in shock as he frantically bent over to pick it up. He couldn’t tell what was more awkward, him dropping it on the floor or him picking it up and sitting it on his desk like nothing happened.
“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT?”
“DAMAGE CONTROL.”
“FOR WHAT?”
“FOR WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!”
“YOU WERE GONNA STAB ME?”
“NO, I WAS JUST GONNA MAKE SURE YOU DIDN’T LEAVE!”
“ARE YOU FUCKIN’ CRAZY?”
“I’M NOT CRAZY, I’M IN LOVE!”
You scoffed and chuckled, stunned at his statement. Choso was bright red, on the verge of a panic attack. So many thoughts, so many mistakes, you knew almost everything now. All of the things he wanted to do for you, show you, give you, it all meant nothing now. Still, you sat there completely calm, aside from the fact the guy who just fucked your brains out was possibly about to kill you.
“Question three, this is an important one. Did you kill Megumi?”
“It was ruled a death from natural causes.”
“Yeah, tell that shit to someone else, did you kill him?”
Choso didn’t really care to hide things now, too far gone. Especially not how he got rid of that asshole you called a boyfriend.
“Yes, I did; and I don’t regret it.”
“How’d you do it?”
“I poisoned him with Ricin.”
“RICIN? HOW THE FU-”
“I put it inside of a box I told him was supposed to be for you.”
“Why?”
“Because he was a terrible boyfriend to you and you didn’t deserve to be with a guy who couldn’t even remember your birthday. Not to mention, he would’ve never died if he didn’t open what was meant for you, nosy fucker.”
“So, you were jealous? Most people would just beat the guy’s ass, you definitely knocked it out the park with that one.”
“Yes, he didn’t deserve to have you! He took you for granted when there was somebody much more fit to make you happy!”
“And that’s you?”
“Yes, just…please…don’t leave. Not before I make things perfect for you!”
You sat back on your hands, thinking a bit and bouncing your leg. Choso had said too much. Not only did he admit to killing Megumi, but now if you really did hate him, you could get him arrested too. Which meant you two would have to live apart. That was no longer an option.
“Even If I wanted to leave, I don’t think you’d actually give me the choice. Plus, it’s kinda…sweet?”
“Sweet?...”
“Yeah, never had someone like me this much, let alone kill my boyfriend to get closer to me.”
“So, you’re not mad?”
“No, not really. Well, maybe for planning to stab me. Not like I can make you untake the pics, but I’ll need some of my stuff back. I’m more impressed than anything. I’m not even gonna ask how you got the Ricin or half of this stuff.”
Choso didn’t know how to feel, or how to react. Why were you so calm about this? Why weren’t you scared? Why were you still here willingly? He couldn’t move at all, locked in place in fear as he watched you get into the bed and turn on another movie.
“You gonna come lay with me or just stand there?”
“I just…I-”
You sat straight up now, looking him dead in the eyes as his body quivered in reaction.
“What’s your deal, huh? Didn’t you kill a guy to be with me?”
“Yes, technically, I-”
“So, be with me, Choso! Unless you’re just like a murderer or whatever, that’s kinda fucked up.”
I'm gonna break you before I can say…
Choso was lost for fuckin’ words. You were laying on his chest now, holy shit, he was losing his mind. Touching him, feeling your warmth as you finally relaxed. Everything he had done to get you with him had paid off. You were so perfect, lips pursed while you breathed up and snuggled your face into him. Just his sweet, sweet girl.
“So, the whole, um, thing…”
“What, you being fucking insane?”
“I’m not insane, just very dedicated to the woman I love!”
“Well, the way I see it, all my other boyfriends couldn’t stop looking at other girls, but you? You’re perfect, you’re already obsessed with me! Just don’t kill anyone else, ‘kay?” 
“I’ll try.”
I love you.
♱ the song used in this story is saccharine by jazmin bean. 🖤
♱ masterlist.
♱ all fics playlist.
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𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.
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emilybeemartin · 21 days
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A whopping, like, 2.6 people have expressed interest in my recent adventures in watching Bean films, which is all the encouragement I need to present to you:
An Incomplete Guide to Sean Bean Roles (Investigation Ongoing)
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Our guy has a vast filmography, and I'm not even close to being halfway through it, but I've watched a lot of his significant ones in the past few weeks thanks to a perfect storm of illness, injury, and lapses in client work. Crucially, I have created superlatives for a variety of them and present them here for your benefit. Disclaimer: many of these films are violent! Or have butts and/or tits! Some have dick! Some have dated bits that didn't age well! So, if you have triggers or are watching with young viewers, do your research first! Also, these are just the opinions of one solitary millennial! Nothing is objective! Nothing is real! I care not!
Okay, CYA done, let's begin. I'll get the two most obvious ones out of the way up front, otherwise they'll dominate half the categories:
ACT I
Greatest Bean: Fellowship of the Ring. I've said it before and I'll say it again, he achieved more pathos with Boromir than a lot of his other roles have allowed for, and every note he hits just sings. No debate.
Best Bean for Your Buck: Sharpe. For the best confluence of quantity, quality, physicality, emotion, humor, and action, you can't beat Richard Sharpe.
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Favorite Dramatic Bean: Time; he earned that BAFTA fr
Softest Bean: The first date scene in Stormy Monday, where Brendan shyly gets to know Kate, slow dances with her, lends her a shirt and strokes her back after she asks if they can just go to sleep instead of have sex.
Most Dashing Bean: Vronsky in Anna Karenina, that uniform cuts, damn
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Swooniest Bean: I know I'm supposed to say Chatterley, and he is undeniably sexy as Mellors, but there are parts where his character is actually kind of off-putting. I'll lay a good chunk of the blame on the weirdly ominous score, the very of-the-time depiction of dubious consent, and Joely Richardson's tendency to look like she's having the worst time of her life while shagging the hot gamekeeper. No, I'm giving this category to Stormy Monday again. He's just so gentle and genuine in this one, without some of the obligatory "heartthrob" overtones of his nineties stuff. He never raises his voice at Kate or manhandles her. He really does feel like some kid who just wants to be sweet to his girlfriend.
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Laddiest Bean: When Saturday Comes, specifically the strip club and bathtub scenes.
Favorite Sad Bean: As a collective, he has some great grief scenes in World on Fire, but! The railroad track scene in When Saturday Comes?! That was RAW.
Favorite Mad Bean: Black Death; there are plenty of movies where he doesn't smile at all, but unlike some others, his grimness and anger felt proportionate to the story, rather than just rage because he's good at rage.
Favorite Bad Bean: There are so many great Bean villains (Goldeneye, obvs), but I think my favorite is Patriot Games. Bonus points for all the different hairstyles he has in this film (long locks-shag-shag ponytail!-buzz-wet spiky buzz). Also HUGH FRASER AAAA
Favorite Dad Bean: Wolfwalkers, where Bill Goodfellowe literally turns his own convictions and beliefs upside-down in order to protect and support his daughter.
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INTERMISSION
A note on GoT: I haven't watched it. When season one was first coming out, it was during a time where I really couldn't handle watching any kind of sexual assault onscreen, and while I have a higher tolerance now, I just... don't want to. I like seeing gifs of Ned Stark and appreciate that it's one of his great roles, but I just can't make myself take the plunge.
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ilysm you grizzled dead wolf man
ACT II
Favorite Costumed Bean: Odysseus in Troy: curls, leather, thighs.
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Favorite Un-Costumed Bean: He strips in quite a lot of his films, so let's give it to Lady Chatterley for sheer screentime, exertion, and the bonus of being naked and wearing a flower crown. Honorable mention to When Saturday Comes for the totally not homoerotic amount of butts and also dick in the locker room bathtub scene.
Hurtin'est Bean: Bravo Two Zero. Oof, don't watch this one if you have an aversion to seeing pain, although---you're a Sean Bean fan, and we all know one of his MOs is being GREAT at pain. This one was directed by Tom Clegg, who directed Sharpe. Also lol at the sickle-shaped wound on his shoulder, which is covering his 100% Blade tattoo (he gets a lot of sickle-shaped wounds on his left shoulder).
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Best Inside References: The Frankenstein Chronicles, where he plays a former Peninsular soldier, and every reference to his service is a reference to Sharpe, including shots of his greenjacket, pistol, sword, and flogging scars. Honorable mention to The Martian for the Council of Elrond line.
Most Unsettling Bean: Cleanskin for moral grayness, The Frankenstein Chronicles for body horror
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Most Inefficient Use of Bean: Black Beauty. Despite getting high billing he's only onscreen for about two minutes and I'm convinced the long shots are a body double. Criminal.
Biggest Missed Opportunity: We were robbed of a Sean Bean Odyssey. R o b b e d
Funniest Bean: Deploying Bean for comedy is woefully underused, but he made full use of his ~15 seconds in The Vicar of Dibley ("Spring" episode). He's also hilarious in Wasted, though I haven't watched the show, only the clips he's in on YouTube, where he plays a mock version of himself serving as a spirit guide for a stoner. IMO, though, Sharpe gives him the most room for humor.
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Favorite Character Quirk: In World on Fire, when Douglas is having WWI flashbacks and really coming apart, he kept putting his hand to his mouth. My modern brain first read this as talking into a phantom radio, but of course that wasn't right, and then I realized--he was reaching for a phantom gas mask. CHILLS. AMAZING. (Honorable mentions to the Mouth Rub and the Tongue Thing [pictured above]).
Most Nostalgic Bean: National Treasure. The concept may be utter silliness, but you have to admit, this is a fun movie to watch.
Best Dismount from a Horse: Henry VIII, he goes pshwing out of the saddle
Best Swordplay: You may think there's no possible answer to this, but there is---two moments, specifically: the preparatory sword-spin he does at Balin's tomb just before the goblin attack in Moria, and the four lunges he does at 1:26:22 of Sharpe's Battle. It's just facts.
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Prettiest Bean Film: Wolfwalkers, hands downnnn
Favorite Bean Death: All right, you knew we had to eventually end here. It's Boromir, obviously--- nothing tops that. But if we're looking at other roles, I think Patriot Games is my favorite, followed by Goldeneye.
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So! That concludes this installment of Bean films, though I'll be continuing the labor, and I hope you will, too. What are your favorites?
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tiredwitchplant · 5 months
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It's Time for Samhain! (Oct 31- Nov 1)
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What is Samhain? In the Celtic calendar, Samhain marks the end of summer and the harvest season, and the beginning of the dark, cold winter months. It falls opposite Beltane on May 1, which represents the beginning of spring and the life-filled growing season.
It’s believed that the veil between the living and the dead is thinnest on Samhain. Historically, people were worried that they would encounter ornery spirits if they ventured outside on Samhain night, so they dressed as ghosts or wore masks to disguise themselves. Folks would leave treats on their front porch or place an extra setting at the table to welcome any friendly spirits who stopped by. You can see how these Samhain rituals easily morphed into our modern-day version of trick-or-treating in costume.
Nighttime bonfires were another of the long-standing Samhain rituals - this one was thought to help combat the impending darkness of winter and the fearful chill that accompanied the idea of roaming spirits. Because the veil between living and dead is believed to be the thinnest on this night, Samhain is also a powerful night for divination and spellcasting by candlelight.
Usual Symbols of Samhain:
Ale or Mead
Pumpkins
Skulls
Besom or Broom
Beans
Cauldron
Bats
Keys
Squash
Pomegranate
Nuts
Apples and Cider
Bones
Herbs and Plants for Samhain:
Rosemary – Associated with remembrance and is needed during this season in taking time to honor the memories of our ancestors and other lost loved ones. Can be used in an incense blend and at ancestor altar
Fall Flowers – Includes flowers like marigolds and chrysanthemums. Are associated with protection and chrysanthemums come in handy with connecting to the spirit world
Apples (the fruit, branches and blossoms) – Is considered sacred to a lot of gods. A good apple harvest means that the gods have shown the community their favor. You can use apples in different rituals, especially divination
Pomegranates – Is associated with the realm of the underworld and helps with communication with the dead. It is also associated with fertility of the fall.
Squashes, Pumpkins and Gourds – Is associated with abundance and provides sustenance for your family when the fields become bare and covered in snow. Is linked to psychic awareness and development and protection.
Mugwort – Is associated with divination and dreaming. Using Mugwort baths or incenses in the rituals can focus on treating depression, especially with the seasons changing
Rowan Trees – The branches and berries are a way to keep evil spirits out of your house and are associated with good health. If you plant a tree near a grave, it will prevent the dead from rising.
Sage – Is associated with cleansing and grounding. Is a great incense to cleanse your home to bring in the new and out with the old
Hawthorn – Has been associated with the gateway between humans and the spirit world. Is also rumored to an area where you can see fairies.
Crystals for Samhain:
Amethyst – Aids in opening one’s third eye and is valuable to be able to see Samhain’s spirits around
Black Obsidian – Is great for grounding and protect from evil spirits. Can be used in scrying when speaking to deities and spirits of Samhain
Citrine – Is used to honor the sun. Aids in prosperity spells and carries joy
Black Tourmaline – Wards off unwanted spirits from your property and can be buried into the ground to protect from psychic attacks and spirit intrusion
Orange Calcite – Orange is a sacred color to Samhain. This stone is associated with one’s sacral chakra and can cleanse and align reproductive organs, sexuality and get creativity flowing
Bloodstone – Known to heal cardiovascular illness and disease. Can help with ancestry links and work
Spirit Quartz – Is great in helping communicate with the spirits of Samhain and releasing old and toxic habits
Lepidolite – Used to appease the fairies that roam during Samhain
Serpentine – Is associated with snakes and aids in remembering past lives. Loki seems to like this stone and may be great to use for him if you work with him during this season
Dragonstone – Dragons are guardians of the earth, spirits of place, and connect us to Mother Nature. Helps say goodbye to the old years and our old selves
Skull shaped Stones – Since skulls are symbols of Samhain, skull shaped stone can help with symbolism during this holiday. They represent the life-death-rebirth cycle, wisdom and our ancestors
Spells and Rituals:
A Samhain Tea (Apple and Hawthorn Berry)
1 apple, sliced
2 Tablespoon dried hawthorn berries (or 4 Tablespoons fresh)
1 cinnamon stick
A pinch of cloves
4 cups water
Honey, to taste (optional)
Combine all ingredients in a small stockpot.
Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes.
Strain the plant material from the tea, then transfer the tea into two mugs.
Enjoy one for yourself, and leave the other on your table or front porch to nourish any wandering spirits who may pass while the veil between the living and the dead is thinnest.
A Pumpkin Spell for Prosperity
A pumpkin
Some paint
Go to the pumpkin patch (or local store) and select a pumpkin. Or let the pumpkin choose you.
Bring it home and paint prosperity symbols on it – money signs, runes for prosperity or harvest glyphs (whatever means prosperity to you).
Then place by your front door to invite prosperous vibes into your home this Samhain season.
Bonfire Release Purification Spell
Paper
Pen
Source of fire (bonfire, fireplace, candle flame)
Gather your materials and sit by the fire.
Take a few minutes to just listen to the fire crackling.
Gaze into the flames and connect with this powerful element.
Next begin to think about what habit or person you are releasing this Samhain. Think about why you’re purifying your life from this thing or person.
Then write the habit or person down on the piece of paper.
Fold it away from you 3 times.
Hold it in your hands and allow all of the negative thoughts and energies inside of you to “drain” out of you and into the paper.
Then throw it in the fire and say,
“After this Samhain, never again. Never again. I release _________ from my life by the power of the Samhain fire. So, mote it be.”
How to Make a Samhain Altar
Beautiful autumn leaves or flowers that you collect on a nature walk
A candle
A mugwort bundle
A string of rowan beads
A bowl of apples or a small pumpkin
A hawthorn wand or bowl of freshly picked hawthorn berries
A picture of your ancestors
To make an altar, first find a corner of your home or a table surface where you can arrange a few treasures. You don’t need a ton of space. You could use the top of a dresser, the corner of your desk, an unused side table, etc. 
After you’ve assembled your altar, spend some time sitting quietly in the space. Light the candle and/or mugwort wand, sip on a cup of Apple & Hawthorn Berry Tea and meditate on this energetically powerful day. 
I could find specific written instructions for a crystal grid but I found a video!
Crystal Grid for Samhain
Let's get ready for Samhain and have a great and safe time!
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bedoballoons · 6 months
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Hi! Could I request a bit of angst to fluff? Maybe Kaeya, Tighnari, Aether, and Itto when there s/o leaves without telling them to clear their head after an argument and they get worried thinking they left them? I'm not sure that makes sense, but I hope it does.
Thank you!
It makes sense!! Thank you so much for your request and I'm so sorry it took a long time to write for you!! I hope you still enjoy it though!
─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃
{༻~Have you left me~༺}
CW: Angst to fluff! Past arguments but making up in the end! Characters think the reader may have left them! Kaeya drinks some wine to ease the pain! Very slight mention of the abyss twin in Aethers.
(Includes: Itto, Tighnari, Kaeya, and Aether!)
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𑁍༄Itto:
Itto combed a hand through his thick white hair, trying to make sense of how everything had went bad so quickly, how the two of you had actually gotten into a full blown argument...he loved you so much, why did he start yelling back, what was wrong with him. He sighed, not knowing how to make it better, he wanted to go after you, but you'd just left. What if you didn't want to see him, what if you didn't want anything to do with him... what if you no longer wanted to be his one and oni...
"Come on Itto, use that brain of yours. What do you do when you've upset someone? Apologize. Right right okay, gotta apologize. Flowers? Those are romantic...but maybe to cheesy! What if...yes thats it!" He made a plan out loud, hurrying to get what was needed before running out the door after you. He searched for hours, checking every spot he'd ever caught you in, asking around for you to every person he saw until finally...he found you.
You were sitting under the shade of a lavender melon tree, eyes puffy from tears and nose red from the cold, you looked heart broken...,"Hey, I know you don't want to talk to me right now, for good reason too but I have to talk to you okay! I'm not good with words, but I know how to say sorry...and I know how to say I love you and in case you don't believe me...I wanted to give you something..."
You looked up at him, eyes widened when you saw a golden beetle trophy in his hands...to anyone else this would have been ridiculous, but you knew it was something he cherished, probably even his most precious item, "What... why would you...that's the most important thing in the world to you..."
He shook his head, setting the trophy in front of you, "No you're wrong, you're the most important thing in the world to me and I'm really really sorry I made you upset. I'll do anything to make it better, you can throw beans at me, I'll give you all of my candy stash...I'll even give you my prizes beetles...I just want to be with you."
You started to cry more, which caught him a little off guard, but these were happy tears..."I want to be with you too...and I'm sorry for what I said...I love you Itto."
"I love you more"
𑁍༄Tighnari:
Tighnari rubbed his eyes, trying to dry the tears that didn't seem to have a end, his ears droopy and you...the person he loved with all his heart, had just walked out without a word. Was it over? Was he never going to be able to hug you again? He just couldn't accept it, he needed you in his life and maybe he hadn't said that enough, but he'd say it as many times as you wanted as long as your promised to come back with him.
He quickly threw on a extra coat, he had no plan and no way of knowing where you had went, but even if it took all night, he'd find you just to apologize, just to let you know how much he adored you. He'd search the entire forest if he had to.
Thankfully it wasn't needed, after a few hours his ears perked up, the soft sounds of your sobs reverberating off cave walls, the place he had shown you one time while gathering herbs...it was by a waterfall that held glowing algae and he's been wanting to take you back for so long... he never would have thought the two of you revisiting would be at a time like this..
He made his way to you and sat down, feeling a pang in his chest when you scooched away, it hurt...fighting with you, "I'm...I'm so sorry. Im sure you don't even want to hear it, but I don't think I've ever been so upset with myself before. I love you and I have never wanted to make you unhappy...you...you are my person. My soulmate. The one. Please...I don't want you to leave, I don't want us to end...I can't...loose you."
His voice started to break, sentences getting harder to finish, he couldn't even picture his life without you anymore and the horrible thought that it could happen because of his mistakes was eating him alive...
"I don't...want to loose you either Tighnari... soulmates go both ways. I'm yours and you're mine and I love you,...I just don't want to fight." You swallowed roughly, trying to stop yourself from crying even more as he wrapped his coat around you and pulled you into him, embracing you tighter than he ever had, "I love you too, and I promise...no more fighting."
𑁍༄Kaeya:
Kaeya took another sip from his wine bottle, trying to calm himself down...he almost never got into confrontations, in fact he always avoided them, preferring to smooth talk his way out of situations instead...,but what had went down between the two of you was anything but smooth. He'd said such hurtful things, he didn't even mean to, he'd just lost his cool and then you ran off before he could apologize and now...here he was, sitting under the stars trying to drink away his feelings when he knew full well it wasn't going to solve anything.
Then as he was sitting there, staring off into space...he caught sight of you, just barely outside the city walls, throwing rocks into the water with a satisfying splash while sniffling and holding yourself for comfort between tosses. Suddenly his wine lost any flavour, his mind drawn back to when he first met you, the way your eyes sparkled, the way your smile made his heart skip a beat...and how you laughed at his advances, completely oblivious to his feelings.
He picked himself off the chair he'd been sitting on, left his bottle waiting on the table for a cheery bard to find and then made his way over to you, more serious and determined than he had been in a very long time. The second he was close enough he gently intertwined you hand with his, spinning you for a brief second so your eyes would meet and your body would be close to his...the air felt cold, but he had a warm smile and before you could even attempt to push him away he kissed your lips.
It was unlike any kiss you'd ever had with him, it was passionate...slow...apologetic, it conveyed everything he wanted to say to you without ever saying a word and when he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, he begged you to stay with him.
𑁍༄Aether:
Aether was running, running past branches and shrubbery, past trees and jumping over rocks, he wasn't worried about what scratches or bruises he'd have by the time he got to you, all he was worried about...all that was running through his mind, was his apology to you. He didn't know what had even started the argument anymore, he didn't care, he just needed you to know he was wrong and that he loved you, that he didn't want you to go, that he couldn't let you go.
He frantically searched around, looking for signs of you while he tripped over sticks and stomped into muddy puddles, "Hello!!" He shouted for you, his eyes scanning the moonlit trees and then, in the distance, he saw a faint light. It was the lamp you had taken with you when you'd left without a word and his first sign that you were near him. He ran to it, knowing full well he looked like a mess when he finally caught up to you, panting and covered in dirt....he looked like he'd just been through a hurricane.
"Aether what the hell-"
"No n-no, wait let me start. I just, i-i just had to follow you because none of what I said was true, I love you. That's the truth. I'd r-run to the ends of the earth to tell you that and then I'd do it again to prove it if you asked me to. Please, forgive me. I can't go on without you, I can't loose you too..." He looked away, trying not to think about his sister...about what it would be like if he didn't have you in his life anymore...what reason would he even have to continue?
"Did you really run...all the way here?"
"Yes, I love you and I don't want you to go..."
"I love you too Aether...and it's okay, I just wanted to clear my head, I'm not leaving." You went to kiss him...but decided it better wait till after he had been cleaned, you'd never had someone run so far just for you before...
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◥(•̀₩•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧
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serenecypher · 2 months
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Bangtan Host Club Chapter One
Genre: BTS Ot7xf!Reader, Poly!AU, Fluff, Romance, Crack-ish, Eventual Smut.
W/C: 2600
Summary: Tired of your boring mundane life? Become an exclusive member of The Bangtan Host Club™ today and let 7 charming men help you out.
Warnings: This chapter is rated PG13, but future chapters may include Mature Themes.
Disclaimer: Please do not copy/translate or cross-post my work. The tag list is open. just DM or send an ask to be included.
A/N: Here is the first chapter for Bangtan Host Club! Hope you enjoy it. Send me any feedback you have, it would be greatly appreciated. Also, as I said before, the characters of the boys are inspired by the manga and anime Ouran High School Host Club. If you haven't seen it, please watch it. Make your guesses on who plays who in the replies lol
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If we are all being honest, you are going through it. 
Chapter 1 >> Chapter 2
You’ve spent the last two hours trudging across the same corridor, smelling the clinical scent of the same floor disinfectant that is starting to make your nose itch, waiting for this damned locksmith to show up. You have managed to lock yourself out of your apartment that you moved in about two weeks ago, by the way, and as your landlord has so kindly bestowed upon you the singular contact, called the locksmith about three times.
There is only one other apartment on your floor and your sweet old lady neighbor has gone to the countryside to live with her grandson for the month, leaving you all on your own. Your day had been exhausting at work already and you had put all your hopes into getting home and numbing the pain away with takeout and binge-watching. You clutch your phone tighter in your hand and decide that this is going to be it. You are going to call the locksmith, and you are going to complain, and they are going to listen and come help you in the next ten minutes. The steps are all clear, so you dial the number again.
It's picked up on the fourth ring. “Hello?” the same gruff voice you’d talked to thirty minutes ago answers.
“Uh, Hi, I had called earlier, about losing my apartment key? Mr. Choi’s building?”, you rush out the words as fast as possible. 
“Oh yeah, someone will be there with you shortly.”, the man replies, you distinctly hear the sound of a baseball game in the background. The man gulps something on the other end and mutters, “You need to relax a little, lady. There is no need to get your panties all up in a bunch, have patience.” He burps and the line disconnects.
“Motherf-”, you whisper to no one but yourself. Did this random guy just try to “little girl” you? What has the world come to? Who talks to other people like that? Isn’t he supposed to be doing a service for you? All men have, is the audacity. This world is a rotten cesspool filled with misogynists and bigots and- oh my god you need a coffee. Right now. 
So you decide to do that, any potential help arriving to get your door opened be damned. You have waited for them to show up for hours, they can wait for a few minutes for you. You make your way down the two flights of stairs and walk out of the building. There is a cafe on this block you haven’t had the time to check out yet and every time you walked past it on your daily morning commute, it was always closed. You make your way to the cafe, bracing yourself against the cool fall wind by pulling your coat closer. 
As you approach the entrance of the cafe, it looks pretty standard. You see a beautiful wooden carved sign that indicates the cafe is open. You push open the door and the sweet aroma of roasted coffee beans and baked items engulfs you like a warm blanket. You look around to see the cafe looks much more posh on the inside than you expected it to be. 
The walls are painted pink, some covered by ceiling-length artsy mirrors. There are a few round tables on the checkered tiled floor, with inviting plush chairs and a flower vase each as the centerpiece. From the ceiling hang off a few ambient lights and ceiling flowers in pink, white, and lilac, making the entire aesthetic of the interior pretty and bright. Some plants that look well taken care of and books on a few shelves, stacked neatly. 
“Are you waiting for me to walk you in, beautiful?” a man’s voice spoke from beside you, pulling you out of your daze. You turn around and face the source of the voice with a stern gaze only to be met with the face of the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on. You open your mouth and close it right back up again as you stare at him. He isn’t just pretty, this man is gorgeous… like ‘I should only exist on the pages of a fashion magazine’ gorgeous. He gives you a dazzling smile and extends his hand for yours, bowing slightly to you.
“Ah! I haven’t even introduced myself to you. That’s on me. I am Kim Seokjin. It would be my pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am the owner of this cafe.” Seokjin, as you’ve learned, looks at you expectantly, his smile not falling once. 
You give him your name and manage to put your hand in front of you. He promptly takes it in his and raises it to his pillowy lips, brushing them on your knuckles with a soft brush. “You have such a sweet name,” he speaks against your knuckles, and looks up to meet your eyes to add, “I feel like I could say it all my life.”
This guy is throwing you for a loop. He is too good-looking and by the looks of what he is wearing, too expensive and- why can’t you seem to look away from his eyes? That thought is enough to bring you back to your surroundings as you feel heat rush up your face. “I wanted a coffee.” You sound dumb even in your head but Seokjin only smiles at you.
“Of course, pretty. Here, let me help with your coat.” Seokjin moves behind you, gently pulling your coat off of you with a hum. Your eyes wander towards the register area of the cafe and lock with the barista behind the counter. He gives you a smile and you can hear violins playing in the background. 
“Feel free to walk in, I will just put your coat away and join you in no time.” Seokjin speaks from beside you, and you nod as you step in and towards the cute barista. His smile widens and it looks like the world’s worth of warmth is on his face. 
“Hi there! What can I get for you?” he asks you, placing his palms on the counter and leaning in. “I am hoping you like sweets so that we can share some.” his giggles punctuate the end of his sentence as he wiggles his eyebrows at you. 
“Um, what do you recommend…?” 
“Hoseok. It’s my name.” he looks at you through his lashes. You feel like you can see his eyes sparkling. A moment of silence passes between you before he is bouncing on his heels and snickering at you. “You are so cute! I am not saying I am the recommendation, silly! I am just giving you my name so I can have yours. We are going to be friends, right?”
You find yourself grinning and nodding as you tell him your name. His face lights up even further if that is even possible, and he recommends to you the name of a few drinks and even more sweet baked goods. He is giggling with you when he scribbles your order in his notepad and adds little doodles around the words. You spy little stars and smiley faces that fill the cover of his tiny notepad. 
“You should go sit, I will send someone with the order to you. Then we can share something and play together!” Hoseok points you in the direction of a table as he is skipping toward a door behind him, which you assume is the kitchen. You turn and walk to the nearest table to take a seat.
You notice there is a little metallic card holder next to the flower vase on the table. You pick it up to inspect it. It's a tiny welcome menu for the cafe, which is not a card but a small flip book. When you turn it over on the front, it reads “Bangtan Host Club™”. Curiously, you flip through the contents of the pages and you notice there are pictures of Hoeseok and Seokjin on the inside along with a small paragraph about their interests. 
That’s strange. Why are the employees’ personalities displayed in such a way? Sure, some places do ‘employee of the month’ type events but this seems like an exaggeration. Maybe this place just does them this way. Still, it feels pretty random to you. 
“Do you like one of us?” A snicker breaks you out of your engrossment. You blink up as a chair quickly scrapes the floor next to you on your left.
“She doesn’t have to pick one of us. She can have more, right, pretty girl?” A voice from the seat chimes in. You whip your head towards it and come face to face with a man with the face of an angel but a smile that tells more about him than it should. You hear the chair on your right scraping the floor next and you turn your head just in time to see a second beautiful man sitting in it with his chest pressed to the back and his legs spread on either side of the chair. He looks into your eyes and a playful smile plays on his lips.
When your eyes linger on him too long, you are met with a complaint. “Stop hogging all of her attention, Hyung! I wanna talk to her too!” You turn your head back to your left and see the man from before, now leaning his elbow on the table and resting his temple on his knuckles. He smiles at you when you turn and he looks an awfully lot like a bunny. “I am Jungkook. He is Taehyung. Now you have to tell us your name.” He lifts an eyebrow at you, tilting his chin down with a grin.  
Taehyung pushes a loose strand of your hair behind your ear when you tell them your name to get you to look at him. When you turn to face him you notice he is leaning in closer to you than before. He simply smiles at you as you feel goosebumps ignite on the back of your neck and arms. “Sensitive, huh?” Taehyung teases as his tongue peeks out of his mouth subtly but enough to pull your attention to his soft lips. 
“She is! She is so shy too. Why don’t you talk to us…?” Jungkook draws out his sentence as you feel him leaning into your left side. If you keep turning your head between the both of them like this, you are surely going to get whiplash but you can’t help it when Jungkook is tracing a finger on your arm where the goosebumps are as if he can sense them under the material of your shirt. 
“Wh-what is going on?” you ask, confused beyond belief at the stuttering of your heart in your chest. 
“Tae, Jungkook, give the girl some room to breathe, please.” A soft voice breaks you out of whatever spell those two had you under. A new person walks around to sit across the table from you. He is so elegant in his movements that you are instantly captivated by him and then he gives you a soft smile that makes his eyes turn into little crescent moons. “Sorry about them, they get carried away sometimes. My name is Jimin. It’s so nice to meet you.”
You feel an air of relief flood your veins at his comforting smile and the way he looks at you so earnestly. You give him a shaky smile. “It's nothing. I am just a little confused.”
“Hyung, I can't believe that you, of all people, are doing this right now. You broke all of the tension we created with her and now she is just confused and not charmed like she is supposed to be.” Jungkook pouted at Jimin with Taehyung nodding vehemently in agreement. 
“If she is confused, what are you charming her for? Just give her some space to be comfortable.” Jimin says with a sense of compassion for you and brings his warm gaze back to you. “Did you order a drink yet? Want me to get you the menu?”
As if right on cue, the door from the kitchen swings open, harder than probably necessary, and a man holding a tray of your order walks out. He is tall, well-built, has a strong gaze, and is absolutely beautiful. He places your order in front of you gently and gives you a nod. 
“Thank you.” You smile at him and he returns yours with one of his own. You notice he has dimples. It makes your damn heart swoon. Then he turns his attention to Taehyung and Jungkook and reaches down to pull the chairs they are sitting on just a little bit away from you like it was nothing to him. 
“Thanks, Namjoon Hyung. I would do that too if I could.” Jimin nods appreciatively at him which is returned in kind with a nod and a gentle smile. 
“What we all should be grateful for is that Namjoon Hyung didn’t pull her whole chair up in the air like that one time with Hobi Hyung.” Taehyung chides which is instantly met with a stern gaze by both Namjoon and Jimin.
“Ugh, who cares about all of that.” Jungkook intervenes and focuses back on you. “I have never seen you before. What brings you here?” he adds and brings the attention of the other three back on you as well.
“I am locked out of my apartment and the locksmith won’t show up. I live on this block. Mr. Choi’s building?” You reply and it surprises you that you had forgotten all about the terrible day you had before you’d entered this cafe. You take a sip of your drink and it feels like heaven down your throat. You feel your muscles losing all the tension they held and you close your eyes for a moment and let the caffeine seep in your blood. “This is delicious.” you mutter mostly to yourself. 
“So you are technically our neighbor.” Jimin says as he leans back in his chair. His unwavering gaze focused on you. “What did the locksmith say? How long will they take?” 
“I don’t know. He keeps saying someone will be there soon, but I’ve waited for more than two hours outside my apartment and nobody came.” You know you are complaining to strangers but you're just so mentally and physically exhausted that it feels nice that someone is listening to you for once.
“I could fix that for you.” Namjoon speaks for the first time since being there and his voice is so deep yet gentle that you think this must be what listening to those online guided meditations your Dad listened to be like. 
“Wait, are you serious?” you question him. 
“Mhm,” he nods. His words soft and almost shy as they come out. “I can help.”
The sense of relief you feel might just be better than the drink you’ve been sipping. You could imagine the warmth of your fuzzy blankets and soft bed. You look up at Namjoon and nod eagerly. “Please, if you really can, I would be so grateful.”
Both Taehyung and Jungkook stand up, grinning ear to ear. “Lead the way, my lady.” Taehyung bows before you and is unceremoniously elbowed in his side by Jimin immediately for his offense. You walk out of the cafe, huddled between the warmth of four men you just met, the jacket you walked in with long forgotten.
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iwillbemother · 1 year
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Instagram: @flowermiku
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morethansalad · 1 year
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Bukkumi / Korean Pan-Fried Rice Cake Dumplings with Sweet Red Beans (Vegan & Gluten-Free)
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oni28 · 5 months
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November 2023 Recipe_Nerikiri Wagashi, Injeolmi
[Recipe Information]
※ Need Recipe Pack Mod Latest Version (23.11.06 version) ※
Nerikiri Wagashi
1, 4, 8 serve
Category : Desserts
Cooking Level_09
Vegetarian-Safe, Lactose Free. Nerikiri Wagashi is a traditional Japanese dessert made in the form of flowers or leaves shape with dough consisting of sweet white bean paste and glutinous rice flour.
Required Ingredients for 1 serve : Glutinous Rice Flour 1 Cup(1), Red Bean Paste 1 Serve(1)
Required Ingredients for 4 serve : Glutinous Rice Flour 1 Cup(2), Red Bean Paste 1 Serve(2), Sugar(1)
Required Ingredients for 8 serve : Glutinous Rice Flour 1 Cup(3), Red Bean Paste 1 Serve(3), Sugar(2)
Lots challenge 'Simple Living' Compatible.
Group Cooking Compatible
Injeolmi
1, 4, 8 serve
Category : Desserts
Cooking Level_05
Vegetarian-Safe, Lactose Free. Steamed glutinous rice pounded in a mortar shaped into small pieces and covered with various coating powders. Bean powder is most commonly used for this type of rice cake.
Required Ingredients for 1 serve : Glutinous Rice Flour 1 Cup(1)
Required Ingredients for 4 serve : Glutinous Rice Flour 1 Cup(4), Sugar(1)
Required Ingredients for 8 serve : Glutinous Rice Flour 1 Cup(8), Sugar(2)
Lots challenge 'Simple Living' Compatible.
Group Cooking Compatible
All ingredients are optional
Glutinous Rice Flour can be download here.
Red Bean Paste 1 Serve can be download here.
[Language]
Korean (by_oni)
English (by_oni)
📌T.O.U
-Don’t re-upload
(Latest patch compatible)
👩‍👩‍👧‍👦 Public Released on November 28th, 2023 (KST)
Nerikiri Wagashi DL
Injeolmi DL
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dramadramallama · 1 month
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random things i noticed in Love for Love's Sake and couldn't fit in my other posts
yeo-woon's name in korean is 여운 which is oddly fitting for a character who mirrors and echoes myung-ha at every turn:
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myung-ha and yeo-woon's new story begins in spring, which is arguably the universal symbol of rebirth, youth, and hope. they're on the cusp of summer, where flowers go into full bloom (what better season for a second chance story where self-love/self-realization is the core theme?)
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myung-ha wears the same (?) bracelet as his grandma's, during the bar scenes, and in at least one "real life" scene (the one where he gets broken up with). I guess he started wearing it after grandma dies (and I like to think it worked like a little talisman for him and brought him good luck!)
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i don't know what to make of it, but the café location where he always meets up with Si-a and friends is the same place he gets dumped. (also, in the break-up scene, he's outside ((actually, he might be inside, after all. the plants threw me off, but they're also inside decor lol)) drinking a hot beverage. in the "game", he's inside the café, and he's drinking iced ones lol)
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i find it very sweet that he tries to fix every hurt with ice cream: again, i like to think he got the habit from his grandma (and in turn, got yeo-woon into the same habit lol). the flavor (red beans) and brand (비비빅/Bi-bi-big) he picks is a very classic, almost "old people" flavor, just as the first text he receives points out "why on earth do you eat this? it's on par with a ba-bam bar" (바밤바 chestnut flavored - also not very trendy for kids/youths)
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the first big "glitch" myung-ha experiences is when he finally tries calling the number that keeps sending him the texts (which are possibly from his past life/another reality/[insert your theory]) and accidentally creates some sort of paradox.
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i had to zoom in so much but one of the texts was left untranslated in both the iQiyi and GagaOolala versions and it reads something like: "do you get along well with your friends? if you fight with them, santa won't bring you any presents"
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illir · 3 months
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mostly sherliam (+mi6 etc) post timeskip art dump
just realised i have a lot of these even the ones i from 2022 that i never posted on tumblr so here you go! as usual doesn't include drawings that already had separate posts in my blog
long post!
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(↑ i like to imagine sherlock and mary are kinda in an in-law situation post-timeskip, except he's kinda awkward around her now (but still wanna be nice to her since she's john's wife after all) while she's just chill with him)
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(bean water = coffee) (but louis, tea is also just leaf water...)
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(i hope they still get to go on dates even in london~!)
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(the flowers are in liam's room now💗)
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(↑ is ko-fi request)
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(↑ is ko-fi request as well)
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(↑ set in chapter 65. fred who's too excited to show his roses that he's been tending to the past 3 years to william who just got back from america)
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this ended up with a lot of just louis and sherlock beefing haha i unfortunately didn't get to draw a lot from the 221b side so i hope to get the chance to do so in the future 💪 (or psst commission me or send me a ko-fi request to do it 👀👉 renebaeragi.carrd.co )
thank you for reading!
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