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#because ezra was rex's REAL jedi - him and kanan - they were the jedi rex CHOSE
antianakin · 8 months
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I've decided that Rex isn't going to forgive Sabine within a timeline where the Ahsoka show happened. Like the MOMENT he hears that Thrawn is back and they have to fight in yet another war all over again all because Sabine was stupid and selfish, that's it for him. He's heard about Anakin at this point, he's gotten enough information to know that Anakin also made a really stupid, selfish choice and it led to the destruction of Rex's entire world. The Jedi gone, the clones enslaved, the Republic crushed. He knows where this kind of selfishness leads now and he's unwilling to stick around just hoping Sabine turns herself around faster than Anakin did. He's been betrayed enough in his life now to know what he's willing to forgive and what he isn't. And Sabine forcing them all to fix a problem they already had to lose people to fix the first time because she got a little lonely and refused to ask anybody for help isn't something he's willing to forgive.
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ooops-i-arted · 1 year
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ahsoka still calling anakin a 'good master' after everything he fucking did to her oh my god, ENOUGH!
cowboy hat man won't give it a rest. he wants to throw ahsoka in everything and have her ascend to glorified creator's pet status, but he still can't figure out how to feature her without making her whole worth and existence about anakin. a two year relationship that ended with the master nearly murdering his padawan gets to be highlighted repeatedly, as if it was the most emotionally resonant thing to ever happen to ahsoka and anakin. instead of literally any other relationship that could be explored more.
screw ahsoka's other relationships from the jedi temple or the clones. she can hang out with rebels characters who are reduced to hollow husks of themselves while she has the charisma of a plank. but let's remind everyone how special and awesome she is because anakin was assigned to her for a short time. ahsoka is almost fifty years old now, were the options really that limited? screw respecting anakin's kids who achieved their own legacies and played important roles in the rebellion, defying what he chose to become. luke and leia are barely present in these galactic events and it's rare for their names to be mentioned at all. and who the hell is padme at this point?
ahsoka's writing has been unimpressive for a while now and i haven't cared about her story beyond fandom osmosis. but her show probably isn't even servicing people who actually liked her from tcw anymore, it's about whatever caters to filoni's warped perception of these characters.
Not only is it egregious because we know Anakin is a child murderer, Ahsoka NEVER moves on or comes to terms with it! She just keeps wallowing in it so Filoni can wank off to Anakin licking Ahsoka's butthole. Also: two years. There's no way she's near as speshul to him as Padme (the woman he was in love with for 10+ years and his wife) or Obi-Wan (his Master who was like a brother to him, again for over a decade) or Shmi (his freakin' mother and likely his one point of stability in a chaotic childhood as a slave). Don't even tell me that if Anakin was dropped in the World Between Contrived Time Travel he would save Ahsoka over any of them lmao. Or drop her like a hot potato if he had to choose between Ahsoka and Luke, his son and the last remnant he has of Padme (her son), Obi-Wan (guarded and trained by), Shmi (her grandson) and pretty much the one person he was able to commit an act of true, unselfish love for (killing Palps).
I do feel bad for the fans since I've seen plenty of comments that it's "not her" and that RD's portrayal is just so flat and devoid of smirky smugness/cheekiness/whatever. I personally may hate it but it is part of her character. And you're right, why is it only people she isn't connected to? She barely knew the Rebels crew and mostly as Fulcrum, so a professional relationship, not a friendship. Not to mention Sabine being forced into a Jedi Padawan role despite NEVER showing Force sensitivity or any interest in being a Jedi, and she lived with two of them for years. She had plenty of opportunity to ask Kanan if she wanted to be trained! But nah, we gotta give Ahsoka a Padawan and throw in some forced girl power stuff on the side. (As a former little girl who deeply craved female representation in the male-dominated stories I loved, I can tell you, little girls can tell when it's forced.) (Also Sabine choosing to force herself into a Jedi role out of grief for missing Kanan and Ezra instead of actually being into it or confronting her feelings of loss could've been a really interesting character moment. But nah.)
Side note but I also find it interesting that Rex is barely in this show. Wasn't Rex Ahsoka's clone counterpart? They're very close friends? He's still alive and kicking and could help her out? That would be a really cool relationship to explore? Or did Filoni realize he can't whitewash a real Māori man the way he can animated clones?
(Also I saw this ask before bed and woke up thinking about Mara Jade and Jaina Solo, a female teacher-student relationship that was so badass, and now I want Mara Jade being Rey's teacher and helping her confront her relationship to Palpatine and Rey having the guidance of someone who Gets It, can you imagine. We could've had it alllllllll)
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75 and 94 with Sith Anakin :)
Thank you so much for requesting this because this has to be one of my favorite Anakin stories I’ve ever written. It’s super sad, but I still hope you enjoy! :D
This was not how you wanted today to go. It wasn’t supposed to be a difficult mission. Get the supplies, and get out. Was it a dangerous place? Of course, but everything was these days with the Empire marking their territory wherever they went. But never in your wildest dreams had you expected there to be Inquisitors hiding there, and never had you expected to have to deal with two. As good of a Jedi as Ezra was becoming, he wasn’t able to take on one by himself yet, and you had done the best you could to make sure he was out of harm’s way before surrendering. 
You knew Kanan would kill you for it if you ever saw him again, but you cared more about Ezra staying alive than getting killed yourself. 
They had stripped you of your lightsaber and cuffed you, leading you to a star cruiser that they mentioned belonged to Lord Vader. They seemed to enjoy talking about what he was going to do to you, and how they hoped they would get to watch.  
Having heard of Lord Vader, the atrocities he had done, the only thing you could do was hope that you could find a way to annoy him enough to make your death as quick and as painless as possible. After all, you didn’t fear death anymore. 
Not when it would bring you back to the love of your life. 
You showed no resistance as you were shoved into an interrogation chair and strapped in, all fight drained out of your body. What was the point? Unless the Ghost Crew could pull off another miracle, you were about to die. You just had to make sure you didn’t give up any Rebellion secrets while you were doing so. 
Eventually the two Inquisitors left you with your thoughts, and you took this moment to close your eyes in meditation, saying a final goodbye to those you loved. Obi-Wan, your oldest friend who had saved your life more times than you could count, Ahsoka, the girl you had watched become a warrior with the kindest heart you knew, Rex and Rutt, the two clones who had laid down their lives for you. Then there was the newest, but some of the most important members of your family. Hera, the sister you never knew you needed, Zeb who always could make you smile no matter what the situation, Sabine, the selfless and talented woman who always put others first, Ezra, the young and incredible Jedi you had been helping to train, and then there was Kanan. Sweet, amazing, Kanan who had done more for you in the past few years than you could remember. 
A tear dripped down your face as you could almost feel the man through the Force, a flicker of anxiety and turmoil from miles and miles away. You knew he wouldn’t want you to give up, you knew he would try to save you, but if it was time . . . It was time. 
Your only regret was knowing that you were leaving behind the most important -
You heard him before you saw him, his boots were heavy on the shining black floor. The darkness surrounding the man in the Force was suffocating, and you dropped your head, trying not to drown in it. “A Jedi, surrendering . . . I never would have expected it.” Was all he said from behind you, the voice diluted with a modulator from the mask you knew he wore. 
“What did you expect? Me to let you kill my friend? I suppose that’s what the Empire would do.” You responded, your voice shakier than you would have liked. 
He chose to ignore your words, his footsteps pacing back and forth behind you, allowing you just a glimpse of black and the silver flash of your lightsaber in his hands. “Where did you get this lightsaber?” Vader asked. 
Was that the question that he wanted to open with? You would have assumed there would have been some threatening, the usual, tell me what you know about the rebellion, where is the secret base, blah, blah, blah. Not where you got your lightsaber. After all, that answer was so obvious you didn’t feel the need to respond. 
“Do I need to repeat my question?” Vader asked once more, his voice calm, and didn’t even give you a chance to respond to him. You felt a pressure around your throat, growing stronger with every passing moment until you couldn’t get any air into your lungs. You started coughing, your hands trying to fly to your throat, but unable to strapped down at your sides. Tears of panic formed in your eyes as you struggled against an unforeseen force, but then as quickly as it had arrived, it was gone, leaving you gasping for air. “Where did you get this lightsaber?” 
You were scared. You hated to admit it, you knew that Jedi weren’t supposed to feel it, but you were. The darkness Vader seemed to emit almost smothered you in your entirety. You had never felt someone so dark, and your fear, as it always had when it reared its ugly head, made you lash out. “Where do you think I got it? A market? I made it! Went to Ilum, found a crystal, constructed it myself -” You choked out before he interrupted you. 
“You’re lying!” The sudden burst of emotion in his voice shocked you. From what you had heard about Vader he was always calm, precise, even when he was in the midst of torturing someone. “I know the woman who made this, and she is dead!” 
“Oh, so I’m dead? Good to know. It’ll save us a lot of trouble here then won’t -”
You felt a hand grip your hair, tugging it up sharply until you were face to face with the mask Vader hid behind, and in that moment . . . something changed. 
The dark, terrifying, intimidating, Darth Vader gasped out your name in a low, weak voice and collapsed to his knees in front of you. 
This version of Vader frightened you even more than the one you had seen earlier. “W-what are you doing?” 
He didn’t answer you. For several moments, he stared at you through those black lenses, and you wondered how he could even see you through them. You knew he was though. You could feel his gaze piercing your skin like a glacier, sending chills all the way from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You didn’t want to look at him any longer, hating the way it made you feel, and that was when his head dropped. You watched him with confused eyes as his gloved hands went to his helmet and began to lift it off, something you knew he never did, to reveal a head of dirty blonde waves, the ends of them brushing the shoulders of his dark robes. 
Then, he lifted his head, and you were met with achingly familiar eyes, even with their change of color. 
That was when the fragile pieces of your life came crashing down around you. For several years now, all you had ever been sure of, was that Anakin Skywalker was dead. Your Force connection with him had been so strong. It was the only explanation for it blinking out of existence the way it had, ripping what felt like a part of your soul along with it. Obi-Wan had told you that he was dead. That the Emperor had killed him. 
Yet here he sat, on his knees in front of you, looking as fragile and distraught as you felt. You had stared into that handsome face too many times to confuse it with anyone else. You knew every single inch of that man, he had been seared into your memory, and there was no doubt in your mind that despite everything you believed, it was Anakin in front of you. 
“The Emperor . . . he told me that you were dead. That Obi-Wan had killed you.” His gloved hand went to your cheek, touching you as if you were made of glass. “If I had known . . .” 
His touch, something that you had longed for, dreamed of for so long, tore you apart. It couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be happening no matter what you were seeing. Was Vader putting these thoughts in your head somehow? There were three people in the whole universe who knew how deep and strong you and Anakin’s love had been. How could he have found out something so personal to torture you with? Because that’s what this was, the deepest torture you had ever had to endure, and you knew, if Vader kept this vision going he could get whatever he wanted from you. As long as he let you stay here with Anakin. Tears started filling your eyes once more as you looked at him, his face even more vibrant than it was in your memories. “I wish this was real,” you whimpered, your fingers itching to touch him, but unable to in your secured state. Instead you leaned into his touch, nuzzling against his gloved palm. “All I’ve ever wanted was to see you once last time.” 
Then something incredible happened. Anakin reached out, and undid your restraints, catching you in his arms as you collapsed. “This is real! I am real!” He said, squeezing you so tight in his arms he could have broken your ribs, but you didn’t care because it felt so good. You were right back where you belonged, safe, comfortable and free in Anakin’s arms. 
Free . . . 
He had let you out of your straps. Vader never would have let that happen, even in a vision. It would be too dangerous. Your eyes shifted to the helmet that lay at Anakin’s side, and your world collapsed once more. “No . . .” You murmured, shaking your head. “Please no, no, no,” you murmured the word over and over again, tears dripping down your face in a stream as your hand reached for the helmet, holding the cold metal in your hand. You pulled back enough to look into those eyes, those red and orange eyes that now seemed so different. “Anakin, please tell me you’re not Vader. Tell me you’re not the one -”
“It doesn’t matter,” His hands cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. “It doesn’t matter, don’t you see? You’re alive, and now we can put everything behind us! We can do what we always dreamed of doing -”
There was so much desperation in his voice you felt your heart shattering again. It was too much, trying to reconcile the man you grew up with, the man you loved, with all the things that you knew Vader had done. “You’ve killed so many . . . Killed Jedi . . . People we knew . . . destroyed villages . . .” You couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore. Your emotions were drowning you, burying you underwater with each and every new atrocity that you remembered Vader had committed and bringing you to a conclusion that left a giant, gaping wound in your chest. “Anakin, you’ve become a -”
“No!” The anger and frustration in his voice had you cringing. “Don’t you understand?! I had nothing! Ahsoka was gone, Obi-Wan was gone, you were gone! What was I supposed to do?” 
“Not turn to the dark side! Anakin, you’re breaking my heart all over again . . . How could you do those things?” You sobbed, trying to pull away from him when every bone in your body craved to keep being held by him. 
His grip became tighter, crushing you to his chest. “You were dead, and it was the Jedi’s fault. They deserved everything they got.” 
His words shook you more than anything else he had said. He had done all this . . . Because of you? He had turned to the dark side, destroyed villages, people, tortured hundreds . . . because he thought you were dead. 
Despair ripped through your body, as you came to the realization that all of this was your fault. If only you hadn’t believed Obi-Wan when he told you Anakin was dead. If you had gone looking for him yourself instead of escaping to Tatooine to hide from the Empire, none of this might have happened. “But I’m not dead, Anakin . . . I never was.” You looked up once more, meeting his gaze through your tears. “What other lies has the Emperor been telling you?” 
You watched as he absorbed your words, but his face was unreadable. 
“Lord Vader!” A panicked voice broke through the bubble the two of you had created and you flinched as Anakin’s hand shot out and sent the intruder flying backwards against the wall and pinned him there. 
“What do you want?” Anakin hissed at him from behind the chair, and it was then that you realized why he had pushed the guard back in the first place. He hadn’t wanted him to see the two of you. 
“Rebels!” The man croaked out, and you glanced over to find Anakin’s hand clenched in a fist, choking the man the same way he had done you. As soon as Anakin saw where your gaze had gone, his fist immediately uncurled. “There are Rebels on the ship. They’re trying to take the bridge!” 
You couldn’t even be grateful. You knew who it was. Kanan’s Force presence was getting stronger with every few seconds that passed, but all you could feel was pain, and not just your own either, now that you knew Anakin was alive, you could feel him. Not like earlier, when you had both been Jedi, the dark side shrouded him in too much blackness for that, but you could feel something . . . pain and confusion that echoed yours. “Stay here.” He instructed you, reaching for his mask. 
You grasped at his arm, stopping him. “Ani,” you gasped out, the first time the nickname had been directed at him in years made him stiffen. “Please don’t. Please. I’m begging you not to hurt them. They’re trying to save me, that’s it.” 
Anakin stared at you and for a moment his gaze softened, but as soon as you had seen it, it vanished again. “You have always been mine. I’m not going to let them take you away from me again.” Anakin leaned forward and you shivered as you felt those soft, familiar lips press against your forehead. “I’ve lost everything. Now that I know you’re alive, I won’t lose you too.” 
He stood up, pulling away from you, and placing the mask back on his beautiful face. “You were always mine too, Ani . . . Can you still say that?” You whispered to him. 
Anakin didn’t respond, merely stood there and stared down at you for a moment before leaving you, shutting the door behind him. 
You collapsed onto the cold, unforgiving floor, you fist hitting it as you screamed and sobbed out your pain. Never had you realized how cruel fate could be. First it had tortured you with his death, and now it had done something even worse. To have him dangling in front of you to snatch him away again was pure torture. It seemed as if you had now lost him even more than you had all those years ago. You were so lost in your own grief you didn’t hear the door opening, didn’t hear the call of your name until you were hauled off the ground and upright. “It’s me! It’s me! We’ve got to get you out of here!” The familiar voice said, shaking you somewhat to grab your attention. 
Finally, your vision cleared enough, and you saw the man crouched in front of you, concern in every line of his face. “Kanan . . .” You gasped out, flinging your arms around his neck. “Please, please get me out of here.” You pleaded, clinging to him as if he was your lifeline. 
“Hey, it’s okay,” You heard him say, gripping you tightly in his arms. “We’ll get you out of here. The Ghost is waiting.” And without another word, the man lifted you up into his arms as if you weighed nothing. “Sabine! Clear a path!” He called out to the woman you hadn’t even noticed. 
Relief filled your body for the briefest moment until you remembered something. If Kanan and Sabine were here . . . “Who’s on the Bridge, Kanan?! He’s going after them! They’ve got to get out of there!” You almost screamed in panic, flailing for a moment as you tried to get out of his arms. 
“Nobody!” He tightened his grip on you. “It’s R4 and Chopper! They made a distraction, and then they went back to the ship. Everyone’s safe, we’ve just got to get you out of here.” 
You collapsed against him in relief, burying your face in his shirt as you clung to him and closed your eyes. You didn’t want to see anything. You didn’t want to risk seeing him because you knew he must have felt you leaving. Your suspicions were confirmed as Kanan ran up the ramp to the Ghost and it began to close as soon as you were all clear. 
He screamed your name, loud and broken through the Force, and it forced your eyes open, staring into those black lenses from across the ship once more until the ramp blocked your view and Hera shot the ship into hyperspace. 
Kanan had heard it too. In fact, Ezra, who had joined the two of you, was covering his ears. “What the hell was that?” He asked, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, all you did was hold on to Kanan, burying your face in his shoulder as more tears fell down your cheeks. 
Never had you felt so broken, so tortured, so weak. You had been crushed by everything that had occurred, and you had no idea what to do about it. The only thing that managed to pull you out was a fragile voice. “Mom?” 
You lifted your head from Kanan’s shoulder, shock filling your eyes. “What are you doing here?!” You made Kanan put you down, running over to the little boy and gripping his shoulders, checking him over for any injuries. 
“He stowed away.” Kanan answered you. “He overheard that you were kidnapped and wanted to make sure you got home. We never let him out of the ship though, I promise.” He assured you. 
“Who was that man? That was screaming at you? I felt weird when I saw him . . .” 
Leaning forward, you pressed your forehead against your son’s for a moment, and then pulled back, looking into those familiar blue eyes that you had seen the dark version of moments earlier. “Don’t worry about it, Ani. Why don’t you go with Uncle Ezra for a bit. You two can practice lifting stuff, okay?” 
Anakin nodded, concern still on his little face, but he allowed Ezra to lead him back up the ladder. You brushed your tears away as you watched them go, turning back to Kanan when you felt his warm hand on your shoulder. “I’ve never seen you like that before . . . What did Vader do to you?” 
You placed your hand on top of his, giving it a squeeze. “I’ll tell you later, but first we’ve got to get back to base. I’ve got to talk to Ahsoka.”
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gffa · 4 years
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Want to know twhat separates a hero from a monster? How they react to tragedy... A hero will gain resolve and try to act to prevent harm, so others will not be hurt. A monster will lash out. Caring about nothing else but their pain, and how to prevent themselves from enduring more. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka is the former. Maul, and Vader are the latter. I got the idea from Batman stories, with how his villains where likewise made from tragedy, but chose different.
To be fair, I would say heroes and monsters can be born without tragedy, like the Jedi are heroes even before their tragedy and Palpatine is a monster even without any tragedy to mold him into what he is.  But I also think you’re right that it’s a good indicator, what your reaction to tragedy is says a lot about who you are at your core. And that doesn’t negate the real pain that Maul and Anakin suffer, nor that their circumstances weren’t part of what shaped them.  But that ultimately Star Wars is about choice and serving others over yourself and loving others, including the choice of whether or not to turn that pain around on others because you were hurt and think that’s the only way that the galaxy should work. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka and Kanan and Cal and Yoda and Rex and Luke and Leia and and Hera and Sabine and Ezra and Zeb and so many were dealt so much pain, but they chose to not turn that pain on others, to instead try to prevent as much pain as they could, to protect others, to serve others in a way that benefitted the galaxy. I REALLY LOVE CHARACTERS WHO GO THROUGH SO MUCH AND IT ONLY MAKES THEM REMAIN KIND.
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antianakin · 8 months
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I've decided that Rex is the one who paints Kanan's eye mask with his bird of prey design.
Kanan's feeling pretty low still just after Malachor, he's still distancing himself from everybody, and Rex decides to go try to talk to him at one point and the first thing he comes up with to say is to point out that his new mask is pretty plain. It's awkward, he regrets it immediately, but then Kanan says that it gets the job done and Rex is abruptly reminded of himself so so long ago back at the beginning of the war.
He sits Kanan down and tells him a story about how, at the beginning of the war, only a few of the clones had paint on their armor, to designate things like rank and battalion in order to make it easier for officers to find them in the middle of a busy battlefield. The paint was practical and it was limited to a very select few. But the Jedi almost immediately started trying to encourage the clones to utilize the paint less sparingly, suggesting that maybe everybody could wear at least a LITTLE paint and use more individualized designs so that it was still easy to tell the commanders and captains apart from the others when needed.
Some of the clones had taken to it with gusto, but others had been more hesitant, and Rex remembers having been one of them. He remembers telling Obi-Wan that there was no real REASON to paint everyone's armor and especially not to come up with personal designs. The armor was practical and it served its purpose with or without the paint and special designs. But the Jedi had insisted on at least TRYING to come up with his own design and if he didn't like it, he could always take it off, so Rex had given in and chosen something to paint on the armor. And, somehow, it felt a little lighter the next time he put it on. It didn't erase the horrors of war or the pain of loss or anything like that, but it helped.
He tells Kanan that the mask right now is just a reminder of the pain of the injury and whatever other feelings he's still got all caught up in the Malachor mission (guilt over what happened with Ezra, grief over Ahsoka's loss). But if he puts his own design on it, it might turn the mask into something other than a constant reminder of something bad. Instead, it's a reminder of who he is, the combination of the person he once was and who he's become. He is more than just his injury or this mission and he can use the mask to declare that if he wants to.
Kanan says he never realized Rex and the other clones had cared so deeply about their armor and Rex says that the armor itself was meaningless. It's better than what's being handed out to stormtroopers, but not but a LOT. It was the design on it that had meant something and, more than that, it was what the design REPRESENTED: having a choice about how you were perceived by others.
Kanan asks why Rex had chosen his particular designs, the bird of prey eyes on his helmet in particular. Rex explains that he chose it because he liked birds and thought it looked cool, but he's kept the helmet for as long as he has because it's come to mean something ELSE now. It's not just a cool-looking design, it's a reminder of a better time in his life. It's a reminder of when he'd been a part of something greater than himself, with the other clones and the Jedi. It's a reminder of a time when he'd had hope that he and his people could one day come out the other side of this war towards a brighter future.
Kanan looks at the mask he'd grabbed from storage somewhere or something just to keep light from hurting his eyes as they recovered and to cover up the injury from other people's stares (even if he couldn't see them staring), then hands it to Rex and asks if Rex minds sharing that symbol because he'd like a reminder of that, too. Rex remembers the 332nd and their helmets that they'd painted to look like their chosen Jedi, almost blindly giving away their individuality in favor of that loyalty that had been stripped from them anyway. And then he looks at Kanan, choosing to make himself look LIKE REX, someone who had shared his face with millions once, because he wants to honor both the connections he'd lost as well as this new connection the two of them have built together now. And Rex says he'd be happy to share.
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