#because he had no recall at all

[sidetongue]

4/7 

[danwhobrowses]

It shouldn't need to be said but I'm seeing a lot of vitriol towards Ashton about their actions and I have to say I don't agree with them.

At the clock tower Fearne brought up the shard, stated that in her opinion Ashton should take the shard because she didn't want it. Ashton decided then as a result they'd take it, but because it was an extreme risk made very aware to them all they knew the other Hells wouldn't allow them to go through with it. Ashton asked Fearne if she was okay with both of them going together alone with the plan, reiterating that they didn't want to put this on Fearne, that if they died Fearne would not be to blame, and that they have no intention of dying, and Fearne said yes.

Fearne having second thoughts at the Ziggurat was just worry, because she cares deeply for Ashton, Ashton kissing her was not manipulation either; it was letting go of fear, having no regret with the person they also care deeply for and taking the risk. And yeah, it was frightening, 10 rounds of perpetual fiery near-death situations and one actual death situation; Laura is fuming, Ashley cannot look, Liam is playing Mad World on loop in his mind, even Matt is completely on edge, but they survived. Accusations that Ashton manipulated Fearne to selfishly take the shard seem to misinterpret the shard saga as well as Fearne and Ashton's characters, they will get a very intense amount of chastising for sure, but it will be out of love, out of the fear that they were going to lose them, not because they thought Ash was manipulative.

[buttercupshands]

wait a minute

stop.

stop it.

[fragmentedblade]

The "Dan Heng is Dan Feng" dogmatics annoy me a lot. It entirely brushes off one of the most interesting and prevalent questions posed by the game, incarnated by several characters and stories that give the question different hues with different potential answers, and a constant also in HI3, like a thread waving the two games together

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Going through life with horrible memory is forgetting when people did nice things for you and seeming ungrateful.

It's also being unable to remember quotes from any podcast you love but haven't listened to more than twice

[moeblob]

Karen: LMAO every guy I meet reminds me of my big brothers that's so funny except if Paul is already my brother and you're also a brother that's a bit awkward, huh Hot bartender: THATS MOVING REALLY FAST AND I LIKE YOU AS A PERSON BUT - Karen: having my brothers date would be SO WEIRD Hot bartender: Well on the bright side I literally cannot speak more than five words to him so we aren't dating because he's so cute

(Everyone else: that is somehow the most depressing bright side we never want to hear)

[sysig]

I had a really fun dream recently about a Dwarven Drag Queen and she was super cute!! I love her! (Patreon)

[everlastiingiimmortals]

@reversescale asked: (What would it be like if Ratio got the acknowledgment of Nous? Would anything change? Furthermore, what if he was invited into the Genius Society? Would he accept it?)

Sleepless nights had grown more frequent as of late, with the addition of the Divergent Universe to Ratio's workload. None of it had been obligatory, none of it at all. But, not for the first time, he finds himself strung up in a strange sense of restlessness -- almost anxiousness -- as he parses through the compendium he compiled, again and again and again.

...Why?

Not even Screwllum, with his far superior ability to take in information on a page, would read through this entire document, and he'd told the Trailblazer this himself. Realistically, the likelihood of even half of the data within making it into the Divergent Universe was slim at best. It would take an entire Amber Era to even get through all of the pages. So why did he?

...Not for the first time, the thought crosses Ratio's mind about how disproportionate his visible effort is to his declaration of involvement. Yet how could he settle for anything less? Screwllum, surely, knew he would receive more than he asked for by enlisting Ratio's aid. The doctor was never known for half-assing anything, after all. And still, it was not enough. He hadn't done enough, compiled enough, found enough of the evidence Screwllum he needed.

It is not his project.

He sighs, rubs his temple (his headaches seem as though they're growing worse with the sheer amount of data he'd been sifting through lately), and rolls the tension out of his neck as best he can. There is no need to get worked up. Thankfully, the sky is clear tonight; he'd already taken a bath recently, so laying on the grass to trace the constellations would surely be enough to quell his mind.

But the red glow outside indicates otherwise. A glance upwards is more than enough to rob all the breath from Ratio's lungs, leaving him choking on nothing. All at once his head expands, compressed by the confines of his skull -- it shrinks to nothingness then expands once more, splitting and breaking down his skull to encompass the planet, the galaxy, reaching to the outer stretches of the universe -- who he was and what he is no longer matter, Veritas is as much an ephemeral, minute, pitifully small concept as Andreas -- he knows so much. He knows too much. And as that thought concludes a new one is born, a new path stretching outwards -- everything and every life that will ever come to be and has come to pass is known to him, but not by him, far more than he could ever fill a book with, or ten books, or a thousand books -- lives and people and worlds flash past his mind, too fast for him to take hold of and look at any single one -- there is simply no storage system in the known universe large enough to record it all -- he is ignorant in the wake of the mind and might of THEM, and he feels so strangely detached from the muted despair he vaguely acknowledges is his own and suddenly he is slingshotted back into his body, gasping for air and gripping onto his windowsill so hard his knuckles turn white.

"You..." Andreas' knees threaten to buckle as another pulse of pain lances through his skull. Something hard and cold clinks against his palm as he clenches his hands into fists. A divine, shimmering key lays nestled between his fingers, only tangible in the barest definition of the word. Should he look away, should he let it wane from his mind, the key would fade, too. It takes all his effort to keep his hold on it. "You," he repeats, mouth dry, mustering up all the willpower and strength he has to glare at the impossibly massive entity that had manifested in the sky. He is shaking, trembling from head to foot. "After all these years... after all this time, now you show yourself?" He can feel the absence of that sudden pressure of knowledge like an abyss separating his brain from his head, and his heart beats too quickly, too loudly, too softly in his own ears. Every second is a fight to remain in his own mind, and it feels like mockery of his own insignifance, or perhaps a test -- but the Aeon does not respond to him. THEY do not do anything but simply wait, and stare back at him.

It becomes unbearable to hold Nous' gaze, and as Andreas looks away the key slips from his grasp. He realizes, then, Nous did not come for the boy who spent his nights looking to the sky. Nous came for Veritas. THEY will only respond to Veritas.

"Keep your key," Andreas spits around a closing throat. Veritas will not speak. "I want nothing to do with your Temple. I have no place with the likes of Kuwabara or the Lord of Silence."

Nous holds THEIR silence, and THEIR gaze, for a moment longer, then fades. The oppressive noise lifts and Andreas feels himself fill the space his body takes up and only that and he can breathe, finally, and his lungs expand and contract with every breath as a human's should. He feels all ten fingers and toes and the wind on his skin and he is, once more, unremarkably and inconsequentially human. Except...

An invitation to the Genius Society is not something that can be refused. It is not a request, nor an inquiry, nor some offer that can be turned down.

It is a claim.

So No. 85 of the Genius Society requests a temporary leave of absence from the Intelligentsia Guild. He visits his hometown. He tells his parents the news. His father, quiet as ever, beams with pride. His mother weeps, not only with joy, but for the sudden shock of sheer white that has woven itself into his hair. (How strange -- he is only 38, but this fails to bother him in the slightest.) He visits Herta's Space Station once more, and the eyes on him are different; numerous as always, yes, full of awe, certainly, but full of ignorant admiration, worse than he'd ever experienced before. He feels those eyes even through his headpiece. He is to be the newest member of the Simulated Universe project. Screwllum introduces him properly to Herta, Ruan Mei, and Stephen, and he can't help feeling slightly sick as they look into his eyes with recognition. Stephen isn't there in person, but he shakes the puppet's hand, then Ruan Mei's. They're both cold. The sensation doesn't leave for hours. Screwllum's hand on his back, meant to be reassuring, makes him want to remove his skin instead.

He lays in his bathtub for hours upon his return home, half-drowned in steam and bubbles until his skin prunes and his bathwater cools to a temperature he can scarcely feel. He should get out; he will get cold.

He doesn't know what to say to Aventurine. If he should say something to Aventurine. Given the speed of the IPC's news network, Aventurine probably already knows. The next time he meets Aventurine, he will no longer be a Mundanite. He, realistically, has no need for Aventurine any longer. But Aventurine -- the IPC -- has all the more need for him. His value has fundamentally increased. The unfairness of it makes him sick. Eventually, he resigns from his job as a professor. There is no point in a genius teaching that intelligence does not belong only to the elite. The irony behind it is nothing but cruel.

Occasionally, the Key of Wisdom surfaces in his mind; it appears on his desk, under his pillow, beside his chisel.

He refuses to touch it.

He is unable to let it go.

[carefulfears]

what do you think mulder thinks of diana fowley after biogenesis through amor fati? i don't think we really see anything on screen/in text (though i think it says a lot that he didn't have much of a reaction when scully came to his apartment & instead focuses on scully & their relationship lol)

yeah there’s basically NOTHING in the text but tbh i think finding out for certain that she was working with CSM really kindaaaa snapped him out of some things…mulder doesn’t give a fuck what people do to him, obviously, but it’s a different thing entirely to find out that your ex is involved in something like that. like there are MILES from “my partner makes me feel like shit and is maybe pretty abusive” and “my partner is like 3rd on the call list of a eugenics group that treats women like test subjects”

like, scully was right, diana was monitoring MUFON women and collecting data on them. she was heading up the tests on cassandra. she probably knew the truth about samantha the whole time. just nasty nasty shit.

she’s the villain in the amor fati dream: the dismissive symbol of abandonment that offers another path.

one of the most interesting scenes of diana’s character to me, is in the sixth extinction, when she comes to see mulder in the hospital. and she knows what the effects of the artifact are, that he can hear what she’s thinking. that, therefore, he knows who she works for and what she’s doing. (imagine your ex-husband/wannabe boyfriend/obsession finds out you’re lying to him because he can read your mind….shit is crazy!)

and she tells him that she knows he knows. but that he also knows that she loves him.

and she does love him. there’s no reason to lie about that then, she knows he would be able to tell.

scully knows it without hearing it, that’s how she gets diana to save mulder’s life, ultimately. she comes to her and begs. tells her to please just think of him, who he is, who he was when she met him, who he is now. in the end, because of scully weaponizing how diana feels, diana can’t go through with it. she gives her life to help him.

diana seems to be one of those influences on mulder that’s only really all that significant when she’s close by. it’s like how all the tension in the beginning builds up to him getting in her car when she tells him to, leaving scully, when diana is there instructing him.

i think being able to know who she truly was and her true intentions and allegiances, prior to her death, really goes a long way in the way he responds to losing her.

don’t get me wrong, i think he’s upset. you can kind of see the shock cross his face when scully tells him. but he stays focused on his goal, which is to express to scully how important she is to him, in the wake of how discarded diana always made her feel.

mulder loved diana and grieves that she was killed, he doesn’t have it in him not to, but mostly he…wanted something from her, right? he wanted that approval and “affection” and to please her. he wanted her to believe him. the first thing that she says to disarm him (in the end) when she can tell he’s uneasy, is, “hey. i’m on your side.”

learning who she really is, it’s easier not to crave her approval so badly.

(this is the crux of amor fati’s “last temptation.” it’s diana saying: you’re childish. you are going to fail. your path is not your own. “you have to let go, fox.” and it’s scully countering: we need you. this is who you are.)

(it’s why he responds in the end by telling scully that it’s her that’s the voice of truth.)

and then in death, diana’s not…there for him to want anything from!! so it’s like, again, yeah he obviously feels the loss, this was someone who meant a lot to him for over a decade. but also it’s likeeeeee freeing in a way? it makes things simpler in a way? (he’s able to communicate all of that to scully instantly after hearing diana is gone, after over a year of the tension hanging around it)

if you asked him about diana now, or even a year later, i think he’d be like…damn that’s crazy! 😭😭 mulder doesn’t have an awful lot of object permanence you guys sjdjsjfj

when scully comes to tell mulder that diana was killed, and he says to her, “you were my friend, and you told me the truth,” the language matters so much. that’s what scully called diana, “i know she was your friend,” and he turns it back onto her. you were my friend. you told me the truth.

in my opinion, it’s not that he doesn’t love and grieve diana, but that there’s a freedom in knowing the truth. knowing who someone is, and their intentions. knowing who has your best interest at heart. knowing where you stand in the world, what you want to do.

that’s really what allows for the openness and lightness of s7, in the wake of diana’s absence. mulder’s always seeking, always learning.

[divinekangaroo]

rewatching S6 in bits and pieces for current fic and ahhhhhhhhhh but the whole Jack, Diana, Mosley and Lizzie final dinner is so *viscerally* fucking satisfying on every sensory and intellectual and emotional level of consumption.

[lbhslefttiddie]

then and now

[frankencanon]

pet peeve: video games that give you dialogue options but they have absolutely no effect on the story whatsoever (and even the other characters' responses to your choice are the same either way)

[girlmadeofclockwork]

I do find the, well maybe not historical revisionism, but perhaps profoundly misremembering and or just changes in tastes that has gone down when it comes to Zevran and dragon age: origins to be quite interesting, like now that he’s very openly being compared to the newest hotness of Astarion, people talk about him as if he is/was the most popular because people love broody elves (even though Zev is the farthest from broody in his demeanor, and which kinda go hand in hand with people comparing him to Fenris, which isn’t new mind mind you, but it was fucking rare I saw anyone make that comparison 9 years ago) but I was there mind you, I was there 8-9 years ago. I remember clearly Zevran being the least popular romance option in origins when it came to the fandom.

[thetimelordbatgirl]

New school attendance rules (that are stupid as fuck) being published has me learning people didn't even know that the UK fines people for their kids not being in school unauthorized???

[bubblegum-snowdrop]

...you've been playing minecraft since WHEN?

Since 1.4.2 I believe! Back when I was 10, in 2012. I got it as a 10 days gift from my parents [family tradition, long story] and the redstone update came just a few months later, just before my birthday.

This was back when it was still like... considered a small indie game, and starting to get "cool" from what I recall. I put it on my Christmas list and basically begged my parents to get it for me. I basically lost my mind when dad showed it to me, installed, and even helped me make a Mojang account with the name I picked. I've since changed my username, though that one was very cute lol. I kept it for like... ten years.

Even back then, I was very much a builder. Still am. Not much for multiplayer or survival games, although I watched a lot of Minecraft youtubers who did that stuff. I was very fixated on it for a very long time, probably to an. unhealthy degree. That's kinda what my brain does, though. There's likely some trauma context but whatever.

Anyway- yeah, I was there before roses got removed. I was really mad because they're my favourite flower. Hell, there's a part of my brain that's still convinced that 1.12.2 is new. That was The Version for the longest time for me, so seeing 1.21 still sends me sometimes. Like what do you MEAN we have bees and axolotls????? DIDN'T WE JUST GET CONCRETE???? Then I remember I'm no longer 15 and it's also 2024 and my bones disintegrate into dust.

[atomicsuperrobot]

Rereading again, and it's really interesting to note just how different the early art style is from the later style- and especially from the anime itself. With the manga, you can at least see where things came from; in the anime, it's a fairly radical departure that is only barely recognizable as what it's meant to be, at least in regards to Joker himself, specifically.

The early manga has lots of sharp points and angles, creating a character that, even if he behaves in largely similar ways, still feels almost entirely different from his animated counterpart. No wonder I was so put off by the anime's designs, originally- and that I had gotten the impression that he was older than he actually wound up being, or was type-cast as. Funny how I now largely prefer his anime design and personality, even if it's altogether not that different!

Fun fact, when I first started reading, before I had started watching the anime (and even for a bit after I had started), the voice I had for Joker in my head was the same as Kaito's, from Magic Kaito- which, as far as anime goes, would be from Detective Conan and Magic Kaito 1412, specifically. Even if he seemed older, at least in looks, in my head he very much still read as a bratty teenager, it would seem.