#because i feel like some people have lost track of the source material and therefore lost track of the appropriate tools for analyzing it

[lokiskitten]

Loki Laufeyson | wrong room

Loki Laufeyson x fem!reader

plot : after landing on Midgard, you, Thor and Loki are forced to book rooms at the closest hotel in order to spend the night. However, you accidentally end up joining a room which isn’t yours and gain someone else’s bed.

warnings : mention of drinking, basic smut and unprotected sex.

In order to go after and find Odin, the three of you had been forced to travel to earth and lead unsuccessful investigations. Having to listen to Thor and Loki argue every ten minutes had easily gotten under your skin and irritated your nerves, which led you to beg the two of them to find a place to stay for the night. All you could think about was to find a bed in order to spend a good night of rest, and that no matter if you had to sleep onto a foreign planet. Besides, Thor and Loki’s presence managed to reassure your anxiety and fears.

And this is how the three of you ended up in a nearby hotel, the cheapest you managed to find as you wished to get over the payment step as soon as you could. Loki was getting frustrated, visibly annoyed to be forced through such a humiliating thing that was having to sleep somewhere else than in his personal silk sheets. On another hand, Thor seemed to enjoy this adventurous trip, which was far from being any surprising. You’ve know him since forever, and you knew that traveling to new places was something he liked to do- especially when it came to mixing up with “friendly” misgardians.

“Thank you.” Thor’s deep voice spoke as he took ahold of the three separated keys, Loki fainting a sarcastic smile as the three of you now turned around in order to reach the elevator. “This is ridiculous. Why can’t we just go back to Asgard? It isn’t too late.” The black haired man affirmed whilst taking decisive steps. “Because a little someone lost our own father and I refuse to go back to Asgard before I know that he is safe. Now that we left, I refuse to come back home empty handed and disappoint our people.” Thor responded. You decided to stay out of this little family argument as you believed that it was none of your business in the first place, even though the two men had insisted for you to accompany them.

Loki chuckled darkly, as if he took his brother’s many blames as compliments. The demigod shook his head as the three of you stepped inside of the elevator, Thor’s fingertip pressing against the proper button which caused the doors to close. “I did not loose him.” Loki defended his acts, earning an unamused groan from his older brother. You smirked as your head tilted towards the floor. Once the doors of the elevator finally opened again, you were all able to walk out and make your way down the corridor in order to reach the rooms.

Though, being in desperate need of a distraction and some alone time away from the two arguing brothers, you suddenly stopped in your track. “I think I’m going to make a stop at the bar. I won’t be long.” You affirmed awkwardly, earning a simple nod from the blonde god which allowed you to turn back around and disappear from their sight within a short minute. Thor didn’t worry about your safety, being aware that you were fully able to defend yourself with the help of all of the amazing skills you had developed through your many asgardian educations.

[ ... ]

About two hours later, you found yourself stumbling through the empty corridor which was meant to lead you to your room. However, the beverage which flowed through your veins caused your brain to behave slightly dizzy. Your eyesight was blurry, yet a couple of blinks were enough to make it all clear again but only for a few seconds. Upon arriving in front of the bedroom door you expected to be yours, your hand took ahold of the handle which you twisted before pushing open the door and creating an opening for you to walk in.

There was no form of light but the one which came from outside of the building- yet which remained muffled by the half transparent closed curtains. The entire room was plunged into darkness, and you therefore weren’t able to distinguish Loki’s sleeping silhouette underneath the bedsheets. The first thing you felt like doing was to remove your clothes from your body, the alcohol in your organism causing you to sweat in an uncomfortable manner. Besides, you weren’t used to the fabric of those misgardian shirts and jeans- which only led you to want to remove them even more.

Throwing your shirt towards the bed, the piece of clothing landed onto Loki’s face which immediately caused him to frown out of confusion. He reacted slowly, hand reaching up for his head from underneath the bedsheets before he dragged the shirt off his face. Meanwhile you continued to undress, taking off every single piece of clothing which once hid your body as Loki attempted to sit up straighter in order to speak up about the situation. Unfortunately, his parting lips were forced to go silent as your panties landed against his face, his eyelids shutting close out of pure instinct.

A tired sigh escaped his lips as he dragged your underwear off his tired features. Though his now fully awake eyes admired your body, his head tilting as he started to wonder when you would finally notice his presence. Meanwhile, you were finally able to slip underneath the covers as a gentle hum escaped your lips. The sensation of the covers over your silhouette and the mattress underneath your body felt absolutely orgasmic; your tired brain looking forward for a good night of rest.

However, the unexpected sensation of someone else’s warmth against your arm caused your eyebrows to frown out of confusion. Looking up from the pillow as your eyelids moved open, a yelp escaped your lips as your orbs landed onto the sight of Loki mischievously grinning at you. Nearly falling off the bed, you managed to catch the bedsheets right in time whilst your other arm reached out for the bedside lamp. You turned on the light, distressed eyes scanning Loki’s now chuckling features.

“What are you doing in my room?!” You asked him in a defensive manner, using the bedsheets in order to hide your naked body. The demigod frowned. “This is my room.” He responded on an offended tone, the two of you entering a processus of pure confusion regarding this satiric situation. Your eyes diverted towards the corner of the room, spotting his infamous black suit which rested onto a chair and which was previously worn by the demigod himself. Awkwardly, you began to realize that the god of mischief might have been right : this was indeed his room which you had mistaken for yours.

“Oh..” you spoke, admitting that you were in the wrong which caused a smile to appear on Loki’s face. The presence of light in the room now allowed you to notice that he was naked himself, a blush spreading over your face which the black haired man didn’t fail to notice. You were suddenly pulled out of your daydream by the loud sound of someone banging against the nearby wall, Thor’s deep voice soon echoing through the thick material of the building. “Hey! Cut it off.” He ordered, seemingly not appreciating to be awoken at night by the two accomplices.

Loki simply rolled his eyes, remaining unbothered face to his brother’s futile threats. Instead, his mind decided to focus onto something way more interesting which was the opportunity of engaging something lustful with you. Biting down onto his bottom lip, he watched as you dragged the sheets a little further up onto your naked chest. To be frankly honest, your fake modesty only enhanced his secretive desires. “Oh come on.” He purred seductively, hand slowly moving up to yours before he started to lower the covers in order to expose your upper body to his sight.

Even if he had the worst reputation, you tended to trust Loki with your life as you’ve known him since forever. Therefore, you accepted to lower the sheets and expose your bare chest to him. His blue eyes watched with admiration, his fingers cautiously dipping into your soft mound and causing the squishy flesh to wiggle. Your breath itched due to this unexpected physical contact, yet you managed to appreciate every single second of it.

Being aware that he had your consent, Loki then wrapped his strong arms around you naked body and forcefully pulled your silhouette close to his- your respective legs interlocking as your own arms wrapped around his muscular back. You absolutely melted into this new source of warmth, appreciating how soothing his smooth skin felt against yours. You were now able to feel his hardening genitals brush against your entrance, tip colliding with your moist lips which instinctively parted for his hardness. Loki allowed a guttural groan to escape his lips, face tilted downwards towards yours as he observed the way your facial features grimaced out of pleasure.

Your forehead was soon to rest against the crook of his warm neck, his hips grinding against yours in order to engage intercourse in the smoothest way possible. His lips started to spray kisses against your neck, causing your genitals to throb out of envy as the two of you tried your best to remain as silent as possible even tho the natural lust which filled your respective organisms held you back from being completely discreet. Your knee now moved up to his hip, allowing your core to spread open for Loki to receive easier access to your entrance.

“Allow me, if you please, to take possession of your body.” He begged, large hands roaming your back in a loving manner. You shivered as you understood his request, body turning around so that your bum was now facing his crotch. Lifting your left knee to your chest, Loki’s hands took ahold of your hips as his member aligned with your drippy entrance. You moaned silently, bum lifting against his pelvis in an attempt to sit down onto his cock on your own. Thankfully, the demigod took the initiative to push things himself by sliding his hardness inside of your throbbing cunt.

Feeling his bare member penetrate you easily led you to moan, legs spreading in the air as your knees moved up to your chest. Loki began to move his hips back and forth, veins appearing onto his neck as he focused on properly moving in and out of you. This position required a lot of efforts from your partner, yet it felt absolutely nice to you- his tip brushing against every single one of your sensitive spots. Loki’s abdomen remained contracted, winces and hisses escaping his lips as his veiny hands remained locked against your hips.

“Ah- fuck..” you whimpered sensitively, eyelids shutting close due to the undeniable amount of pleasure which filled your body the more your sexual partner thrusted in and out of your tight and clenching hole. Those unwilling mannerisms caused Loki’s shaft to twitch, his tip repetitively hitting your cervix as warm precum dripped from his sensitive urethra- mixing up with your own natural lubricants. The man’s lips collided with your neck, biting and kissing your skin with the help of all the lust which lurked within his body.

Your hand moved back to grip onto his neck, cheek rubbing against Loki’s as his eyebrows raised in that one infamous way of his. Soft pants now exited his parted lips, thrusts getting sloppier as your friend now began to have a hard time keeping up the pace. The kisses he offered your skin weren’t so lustful anymore, but mainly filled of all the love he was never able to properly offer to anyone before. This boy lacked physical and mental attention, which you hadn’t failed to notice through the many years spent in his mischievous company.

And finally, his hips locked against yours as his balls twitched, shaft throbbing as warm and sticky cum was expelled from his urethra. Moaning sensitively, you accompanied his musical rythme by allowing your own whimpers to exit your lips. His hands moved away from your hips, strong arms now wrapping around your waist to make sure you wouldn’t unexpectedly decide to break the physical contact- something that absolutely never crossed your mind. In fact, all you could think about was how nice this moment felt. So why would you ever decide to put it to an end?

Unfortunately, every nice things had an end, the intercourses ending when Loki pulled out of your cunt and allowed his cum to drip out of your entrance. Falling onto his back, he panted tiredly whilst your own self laid down onto your back, hand reaching down for his and allowing your digits to interlock with his larger ones. Sensing this new physical contact, his head turned towards yours, sad eyes staring into your soul. For a moment, he was able to feel your pain as you felt his.

I hope you enjoyed. Don’t hesitate to leave a request! ❤️ have a good evening/day my loves. Requested tag : @delightfulheartdream

[stray-tori]

Making peace with TPN S02E04 (anime-only)

Post summary: my problems with the episode, possible explanations for why and how to minimize the problems. also some speculation.

The thoughts are mostly based on the anime in a bubble, aside from the segments where I mention otherwise.

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#0 - My mixed feelings about staying anime-only

This is strange, because... I’m not really hype for next week? I want more, but not in the same excited way I did before. Because I simply don’t know what to expect anymore.

I want to stick as an anime-only so I can deliver stand-alone thoughts as this... clunky and stumbling adaptation makes its way towards the finish line (obviously it won’t be done this season but, yeah ---- i mean, hopefully not, who knows what they’ll do at this point).

But another part of me is just... more excited to read the manga to see what it is like and what the differences are, after the anime is done (which was always my plan, but I was never really actively excited about it pff-). And I feel like your anime approach has failed when I’m moreso looking forward to reading the source material eventually. I do hope that with ep5 they’ll get back on track and this feeling will fade. That they have a meaningful plan and reason for why ep4 felt so messy and disjointed - a reason why it had to go this way, because I feel like they just wanted them out of the bunker, but this is not the way imo (more on that in the next segment)

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#1 - Leaving the bunker - mix of feeling “rushed” and “waste of time”

I feel like where the anime is going, they kind of wrote themselves into a corner in Episode 4. The story setup was leading them to this place (i.e. the bunker), but they obviously didn’t want them to stay there long.

What is the problem? / The way it was setup, we got about an episode of them being there (too few to have emotional attachment to the place) and then being chased out when things went well. In a way it is both too soon, but since nothing really worth the ~1 episode “fluff” happened there in the end, it feels pointless or as if we just wasted time, just for them to leave in the end.

Imo, the bunker is needed for two things, 1) being the first goal for them to go to, so the story isn’t aimless right away and 2) info dumps. Most of the children’s content can be repurposed during their forest time or doesn’t seem relevant right now.

For the record, I personally think that they got found out makes sense in-universe,

WM said he was found out, it’s not unlikely the farm knows that bunkers exist and might even have a vague idea of where they are

that there are multiple could be assumed by the army guy saying, “That’s how shelters usually are” -- If the world has been like this for 1000 years, what other purpose than human survival in a demon would could shelter even have? 

I don’t think the pursuers communicated it back (got lucky, Ray) because if they did, they wouldn’t show up a whole month later.

they could have just observed them, they’ve been on the surface quite a bit.

(though I also agree it should be confirmed how the farm found out)

I’m just questioning the impact it had on me as a viewer (which is little) - the world is rigged against them, they can’t catch a break in a system this powerful chasing them and I think part of the confusion and “wait we’re back at square 1??” (literally) is intentional, to evoke the feeling of something being lost. If possible, I would keep the spirit of this idea (see “it’s a trap” in the next segment)

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So what can we do to fix it?

Skipping the bunker / I don’t think we can remove the bunker outright. I suppose they could have had them just go straight for the new location by having the last keyword be another puzzle instead of the phone recording giving it away directly. But that might have too few things happening. That way they also would have gotten more time on their own to be wandering OR Mujika and Sonju might have been with them longer (which would honestly make sense from a meta point, too. I feel like they were a little short-lived.)

Less time in the bunker / if it feels pointless anyway, get it over with quickly

More time in the bunker / stay longer and have them do something else. Maybe they prepped to already go back to GF, time has passed and then they get raided. Problem: why did it take the farm force so long?

To be honest, I’m not sure that would have been much better so I’m personally more inclined to fix it with a very tightly connected problem, which will be the next segment:

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#3 - the HELP wall scare was pointless

What’s the problem? / the scare was used in between two segments of “the happy life in the bunker”(TM). The segments are the exact same feeling to me personally, just fluff. The scare changed NOTHING. Nothing that was revealed justifies it existing.

Pre wall scare: WM is an ally, the bunker is for escapees

Post wall scare: WM is an ally, he got discovered, the bunker is for escapees, there were escapees there before (?)

The wall doesn’t even have anything to do with WM. And we didn’t get enough details on the HELP wall, even on its own. Was the book and the “HELP”s from the same person? Why were they going crazy there? What did their siblings die from? It can’t be food, so it must have happened outside. Where they picked up by the Task Force(TM)?

The “don’t give up” is nice, but our crew didn’t need that pep talk I think - i guess with Minerva gone, they lost a hope for allies, but at the same time he gave them coordinates where to get support. If they didn’t get that and now were on their own, I’d get the whole uplifting book more, personally. I guess the tragedy here is that WM is dead? Maybe I’m not emphasizing with the characters enough on this.

. So what can we do to fix it?

Give more details to the wall / i.e. answering the questions posed above. Maybe show more of the diary. Maybe two were left and one killed themselves (they scribbled HELPs and were crazier) and left the other alone, and they decided they’re leaving for the human world. It doesn’t change that the scare doesn’t mean much, but it would at least be a little more personal.

Change the wall / remove the helps, leave the names and the counting. It would be a tragic reveal (instead of a over-dramatic scare) to see that people had died (around) here, making them scared for their own lives (I guess that’s kind of implied to be happening but since it doesn’t linger, I didn’t really notice.)

It’s a trap/they definitely know of the bunker / it’s not “help” but “run” which was a warning someone put there because they figured out the farms knew of the bunker (or they got attacked and one couldn’t leave). It being a trap would make sense because even as it’s now, I’m just assuming they vaguely know of the bunkers’ existence anyway. Then it wouldn’t be “yay bunker life! - scare - yay bunker life! - BOOM” but instead “yay bunker life! - it’s a trap... what do we do?” - you can still have the info dumps & the phone call and then they either realize it’s a trap and just leave (removing the problem of the....... interesting raid scenes), and BOOM (haha) you’re where the anime is now, since the troup got nom’ed anyway and aren’t a threat anymore. The mission would still fail since they’re gone, so Isabella’s plot is in tact too. I think this would also partly solve the bunker problem, because now something actually changed about the setup we know. It’s NOT the safe bunker anymore. It changes a lot about the world too - the farm knows of them so how much more of the WM support net is affected? It makes you think more about the larger scale implications (and ligns up nicely with the “I was discovered” talk from James, therefore making the wall shown at the same time relevant), + the bunker has another reason to be there, to reveal that. Personally, it would change our perception and understanding of the situation, which imo would make up for the lacking investment in the bunker itself. It would also prompt them to leave faster (likely), thus eliminating the “we spent so much time here for nothing” thing. If you really want to you can even have them stay anyway, since it’s the only thing they have and they opt to just leave on the first sign of someone actually being on their back. This requires a better night watch than Don though :D

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#4 - The little things

Missed drama - the episode was pretty casual about a lot of things; testing potentially dangerous food (fair because it was a nice segment), their new home being gone (fair because no attachment) and them seeing humans being eaten right in front of them (WHY WASN’T THIS MILKED). It makes it all seem like it’s not a big deal - which I guess in a survival story, it kind of isn’t. But I still feel like there wasn’t really any impactful moment this episode it just kinda went “brrr” and now we’re back to episode 1.

for real, please milk the wild demon eating people / he just kinda goes "nom" and the children are there and run. It feels like the anime itself barely takes it seriously - it's the first time (I think), they see a human get eaten by a demon and I feel like that could have used like a close up shot, and some more disgusted reactions by the children. I get that it's a world where that just happens but I feel like the anime just didn't take or see the change to do something more personal with it. I like it as an element at its core because it makes sense; they shot around, attracting the demon and I also like the irony of being saved by a wild creature. Even if that now chases you.

incompetent soldiers - why do they have guns? they can’t HARM / KILL the quality food, so WHY GUNS? -- People with guns are usually incompetent in anything because they just can’t hit anything, but that at least makes sense here. Still, what was the plan? Sheer intimidation? They’re the farms’ force right? Why don’t they know how to deal with wild demons? Possible answer: to prevent humans with guns knowing how to eliminate their higher ups :D doesn’t change that it makes them look stupid. Bro really got defeated by getting a cup thrown in his face. To be fair this specific one didn’t seem to be the brightest bulb, why the “huh?” when he found Don??? Is this relevant I’M SO CONFUSED.

where’s the character moments? - when they got to the bunker, everyone else kind of got the focus, and the main cast just didn't have any of those character moments anymore that made the previous episodes, especially episode 2, so touching and emotional for me. Don't get me wrong, I love the kind of fluff content with the children a lot but I kind of missed some.... it feels like it's more event driven (#BOOM) than character driven now, and idk how to really attach to that? Especially since with ep4 we didn't even really learn anything new (aside from a name and that he was indeed good and is now dead I guess).

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#5 - Why?

Warning: this goes a bit into comparisons (nothing concrete though), and I obviously don’t know more than I picked up from fandom reactions.

My guess is that

“So... I cannot at this point say that we are going to animate the entire story to the very end. We are not at a point where we can say that. Sorry. (Laughs)”

from the MAL interview might be a factor. It seems they wanted to tell their own spin regardless (which I personally respect) but maybe they thought that unless they had a two-cour, it would be hard to keep up the investment the first season set up with what was originally in the manga (I had heard that it would be a weird pacing to do 11 episodes and maybe they wanted to make sure viewer engagement was high).

> “We know that there are viewers who, after they watch the anime, want to continue on and read the manga, and there are viewers who have read the manga first and are now watching the anime.”

(I’m not sure if “after the anime” means after a season or after the the whole adaptation)

Their goal is definitely an “unique” experience. And they seem to at least be aware that some people watch the anime first, so it has to make sense in a bubble.

I can’t say if I would have preferred a slower start into whatever the manga has that caps off at 11 episodes (idk how much rewarding stuff could have fit in there), since they probably fear of not being able to do a complete adaptation too. And I feel like as I’m getting it, they are trying to quickly reintroduce what people cared about in s1 --- in Isabella’s case, maybe a bit too early. there was barely any time to really miss her imo.

But I’m also not sure if whatever they’re aiming for will be rewarding. I hope so, because I don’t want their efforts to go to waste. And I don’t want to come to dislike it.

I can admit faults, ep4 is definitely a lowpoint even without knowing the alternatives. Just that for me, it is annoying little things and not the shocking deviations from the manga.

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#6 - Hope

I have hope though because Isabella’s stuff was good, and now that they’re over the no-return divergence point, they might be able to... (meta spoiler) not repurpose manga scenes without any buildup (is what I’m getting) anymore :”D, because they really only set themselves up for disappointed with that. It might seem like a homage but it’s moreso out of place, the people who read it aren’t happy because you didn’t earn it (and of course they’ll compare) and the anime suffers from it because it can create unnecessary confusion forced in just to make a reference.

Ironically I think they’re too stuck in the manga too and could have benefited from a blind perspective.

I don’t really mind anything overall I think (world is against them, that’s fair, being out on the run again is fine, the demon “rescue” is fine), the execution / some details of episode 4 were just... strange. idk where they are going with it and maybe that really was the best way to transition but until I know where it goes, I can’t really judge that. Highly doubt it though.

I really hope they completely just do their own things now with some base elements from the manga.

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A lot of what I talked about in this post ended up making me appreciate the crumbs of intention. The realization that previous escapees didn’t make it (not all of them, anyway) and WM being dead, and then having that uplifting message. The message of “you don’t get to rest, you’re on your own again”. The irony of the wild demon being their (temporary) rescue. The past escapees.

Ironically, I wanted to dunk on the anime but really, all I feel is more content now. Would I have preferred some fixes? Yes, but I see some semblance of meaning in it even with the errors.

Thanks for reading this goddamn essay.

[more-pokeimagines]

Stone Cold Body [08] - Chapter 7

A/N: Once again, I'm so sorry that it took me forever to finish this chapter. I hope you are still interested in the series, and I promise that the next updates won't take as long.

Warnings: none

Taglist: @piershoesz @alovestruck-fool @shaak-ti-s @spair-m [If you want to be added to/removed from the taglist let me know.]

Present

A few days had passed since your latest argument with the prince and you still had no idea why he had reacted so hostile when you had asked him about your dream and the things you had seen. You had tried to talk to him a few more times, mostly because you wanted to apologize for snapping at him but since that morning, Bede avoided you like the plague and purposely looked away whenever you tried to make eye contact with him. And although he acted like nothing had happened when Gloria and Hop were around, you had noticed the sadness in his eyes that he didn’t bother to hide when he thought that nobody was paying attention to him.

You were pretty sure that it had nothing to do with the things you had said to him but still, you could feel your guilty conscience gnawing at you every time you thought about it. Given the fact that you couldn’t stand him, you really hadn’t expected to feel bad about your argument with the prince, at least not for such a long time. Maybe it was because you couldn’t stand conflicts in general, or maybe you were slowly starting to have a thing for him. At least, that surely would’ve been Gloria’s guess if you had bothered to tell her about your twisted feelings since she still firmly believed that you and Bede had to be soulmates, according to the legend that had surrounded the statue. Only a few days ago, she had suggested that you should spend more time with him and try to get to know him better. “After all, you could be meant for each other,” she had said, earning an annoyed glance from you. “You know exactly that’s not true. It’s just a stupid fairytale, nothing more.”

With a quiet sigh, you shook your head, casting aside the memories and trying to focus on the book in front of you. You were currently sitting in Wyndon’s library, an old and dignified building that was equipped with countless books, journals and even actual historical documents from various eras, such as diaries, letters and manifestos. In the beginning, you had been confident that it wouldn’t take too long to find something regarding the prince and his obscure fate but it had only taken about an hour until you started to feel overwhelmed by the amount of information the library offered.

On your desk, there was a pile of books about the history of Galar and a collection of articles about the prohibition of magic and the consequential witch-hunt, referred to as the Great Hunt, which hadn’t been very useful since they never mentioned the crown prince at all and mostly focused on King Lewin’s orders and the methods the Royal Court of Inquisition had used to track down the sorcerers and their families. Nobody had included Bede and his sister into their research, probably because they hadn’t been involved in any of this and while you hadn’t expected to find something about the curse in these essays, you couldn’t help but feel a bit discouraged.

Everything would be a whole lot easier if Bede didn’t refuse to talk to you. He obviously knew very well who the woman you had seen in your dream was but for some reason, he tried hard to keep everything about his past a secret.

Absent-mindedly chewing on the top of your pencil, you stared out of the window as you tried to gather every bit of information you currently had about the prince. The result was quite disillusioning – you knew almost nothing about him, his name, status and family relationships aside. In the exhibition, you had learned that he had been close to his sister and that his parents, particularly his father, had put enormous pressure on him but other than that, you were clueless when it came to him. You had no idea who he truly was, what he thought about the king’s hatred towards the sorcerers or why someone had hated him so much that they ended up cursing him.

Well. If he had always been this arrogant and presumptuous young man he was now, you really couldn’t hold the malediction against the unknown person who had cast it all these years ago… although a part of you had to admit that it seemed a bit harsh to trap someone in stone for so long, just for being an arrogant idiot.

No, you were absolutely sure that there had to be more to it. You just needed more information to figure out what it was.

You grabbed another history book, quickly scanning the table of contents before putting it aside because it covered the aftermath of the Great Hunt and therefore the wrong era. Same with the next two books, although the latter at least recommended some other works about the Great Hunt and the royal family’s involvement. After writing down the title, you turned your attention back to the pile of books in front of you. Surely it would be more effective to work through them first before looking for new stuff to read.

Over the next hour, you found an essay about the upbringing of Bede and Carlina which only contained information you had already gotten from the exhibition, a copy of the royal family’s genealogy that only traced back as far as Bede’s paternal grandparents and another essay that described the events of the Great Hunt without going into detail about the origin of the King’s hatred towards sorcerers and their magic. The author actually had pointed out that it was almost impossible to find reliable sources regarding King Lewin’s personal motives and therefore historians could only speculate about it, but most people assumed that he probably experienced something terrible that led to his disdain, especially since the previous king, Lewin’s father, never had an issue with the use of magic.

You had started chewing on your lower lip, like you often did when you were musing about something, while you stared at the essay and the notes you had taken. Something about the whole issue felt off, although you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. It was strange that no one knew exactly why the king had started to persecute the sorcerers since there was a lot of source material for considerably less important stuff, for example the average earnings of Carlina’s chambermaid or how often Queen Alviva would see the court physician because she allegedly suffered from migraines.

If you didn’t know better, you would have assumed that someone, most likely the king himself, had made sure that every bit of information which could paint him and his actions in a bad light was kept under lock and key, even after his death.

You grimaced at the book in front of you. After everything you had learned about him and the way he treated others, it wouldn’t even surprise you if this was actually true. And it probably was true, given the fact that there was not one essay that told the story from the sorcerers’ side.

It hadn’t even occurred to you that the few articles you had found about the Great Hunt had purely focused on King Lewin and the orders and actions he had taken to hunt down the sorcerers. But now it was clear as daylight that there was next to no information about his enemies and how they had reacted to the threat.

To say that it made everything even more suspicious, would be an understatement. Clearly, the king had tried to hide something but you had no idea what. And in the end, it probably didn’t even matter because it wasn’t linked to Bede and the curse, so it wouldn’t get you anywhere if you –

You started up from your musing before you could finish the thought. Your gaze flickered from your notes to the book, then back to the big question mark you had drawn behind Bede’s name, and you could feel a sudden agitation buzzing through your body.

Maybe it was indeed linked to Bede and everything he had experienced. It seemed quite a stretch and you doubted that his son’s fate was the only reason for the king to cover up the sorcerers’ actions but perhaps they had been the ones who cursed him. It made sense, also in the context of your dream, assuming that the unknown woman had been a sorceress. She had undoubtedly threatened Bede, and –

You abruptly reached for your pencil and began to scribble your thoughts down. Most of your notes probably weren’t going to make sense in the future but you needed to write your thought process down to make sure that you weren’t forgetting any details which could be important later on.

Okay, so, assuming that the woman in your dream had been the one who cursed Bede, it was likely that she had done so to take revenge on his family, or better, his father, the king. Maybe she had lost someone dear during the Great Hunt and wanted to teach Lewin a lesson about the grief she felt. Or perhaps, she simply had tried to put an end to the violence against her people and had used Bede as some kind of leverage to get her will.

You paused to think for a moment. Weren’t you reading too much into a simple dream? There was no evidence that the things you had seen were actually real; you didn’t know if you really had caught a glimpse of the past or if your mind was just trying to play tricks on you after reading a few things about Bede and his family at the exhibition. It was possible that you were well on the way to obsess about the whole situation.

No. Deep down, you knew that everything you had seen in your dream was real, although you couldn’t really say why. You simply knew it.

Or maybe you were slowly starting to go crazy.

*

He wasn’t sure why he had decided to go back to the park where it all had started. It was strange to see the place where he had been trapped in stone for nearly three centuries; the place where hundreds of people had tried to lift the spell from him, according to Gloria who had told him a few stories surrounding the statue. Surrounding him.

It wasn’t just strange. It felt preposterous to know that he had been right here for all this time while his family continued to live their lives, while the world around him changed over and over again while he remained frozen in time. Maybe it was so hard to understand because he simply couldn’t remember anything after Brigid had cursed him. Contrary to popular beliefs, Bede hadn’t been conscious; he hadn’t noticed anything that was going on around him. After Brigid had cast the spell, a dark, deep silence had embraced him – and then, there had been nothing.

Until he had stumbled right into your arms that day.

Bede was convinced that Brigid never intended her curse to have a loophole; she was way too determined to wreak revenge on his family to make a mistake like that, and yet, here he was, as fresh as a daisy and completely unharmed. Not that he was mad about it, no, he was grateful to be alive and everything but… there was something about this whole story that didn’t quite match up. And he would be lying if he said that it didn’t worry him.

With a quiet sigh, he rested his elbows on his knees, propping up his head on his hands as he continued to watch the few tourists that were wandering around the park. Nobody took notice of him but that was completely alright with him. Back in the day, he had never been able to roam freely outside the walls of the palace. He had always been accompanied by his personal guards which made it easy for everyone to recognize who he was, and while he understood that it was necessary to bring the guards, he had sometimes wished to have more freedom. Being raised as the crown prince of Galar had always been a heavy burden, especially since he could never satisfy his father’s expectations, no matter how hard he tried.

From this point of view, his life was better now. He was free to make his own decisions, he didn’t have to justify himself to his father anymore and could go wherever he wanted to go. He was no longer a prince; he was just a normal young man. He was just Bede.

On the other hand, just the mere thought seemed frightening. For all of his life, Bede had always known what others expected of him and where his place was. Making decisions had never been an option before. Heck, back then, he hadn’t even been allowed to choose the color of the fabrics the tailors used for his clothes, and now he had to decide what he wanted to do with the rest of his life? Impossible.

And, all advantages of a fresh start aside, none of this changed the fact that he was alone. There was no one in this world who cared about him, and most people didn’t even know who he truly was, although they had been so obsessed with the statue over the years. And everyone he had known before was dead.

Bede hadn’t expected the thought would still hurt so much. It wasn’t the first time that it occurred to him that his parents and his beloved sister had died long ago but until now, he had never allowed himself to give in to the sadness that threatened to overwhelm him every time. But now he didn’t bother to fight back the tears that were welling up in his eyes. Given the fact that you and the others weren’t here to judge him, there really was no need to hide his emotions, and before he even realized that he was crying, the tears were already streaming down his cheeks.

He turned away from the spot the statue had stood, pressing his lips together to stifle the sobs that wanted to escape his throat and clenched his fists while he tried to regain his composure. But the tears kept on flowing.

Everyone that had ever meant someone to him was dead. Carlina was dead. He would never see her again, hear her voice or laugh about the stupid jokes she had always made to cheer him up on a bad day. He couldn’t even remember the last thing he had said to her or the last time he had told her how much he loved her. Shouldn’t he be able to remember these things?

Why couldn’t he remember?

The answer was simple. Bede hadn’t known that it would be the last time and therefore, he hadn’t cherished his final moments with his sister enough. And now, all that remained was an excruciating grief that made him feel like he couldn’t breathe.

How was he supposed to live without his sister? After all, she had always been the person he had trusted the most, the one he could rely on without a doubt, and knowing that she wasn’t here with him – that she would never be here with him – hurt like nothing else. No one would ever be able to replace her, not even – particularly not – you; the one who allegedly was his soulmate if he would be willing to believe in the tales Gloria had told him. It would be a mockery if it was actually true (not that he thought that it was), given the fact that he could barely look at you without thinking back to the worst moments of his life… the moments that had changed his whole world forever.

In some way, it almost seemed to be an irony of fate that you of all people had lifted the spell from him. You who looked so much like the woman who had cursed him in the first place.

He had noticed the resemblance right away. Of course, you didn’t look exactly like Brigid but there was something about your features and the color of your eyes that reminded him of her. Even the way you looked at him resembled her, your eyes always filled with so much disdain and anger, just like hers.

At first, Bede had thought that he was imagining things, that his subconsciousness tried to come to terms with the things that had happened by projecting it into this new reality but now, he wasn’t so sure anymore. There had to be a reason behind it. After all, you had managed to break a curse that never should have been broken in the first place, incredible as it was.

He wiped the tears from his face and took a deep breath, carefully locking up his emotions again.

Maybe it was time to stop running away from his past. If he wanted to figure out what was going on, if he really wanted to understand why the spell had been lifted, there was only one person who could help him, as much as he hated to admit it. And that person was you.

Masterlist / Next part

[timeforelfnonsense]

Lost and Found

Astarion x Dafni 

Rating: T

Hurt/Comfort

TW for depression mention 

Ao3

I’ve been working on this bad boy for a month and it’s done at last!

 An important note: There is some reference to the Lolth Sworn drow in this and I feel the need to clear the air and state that I have some issues with the way WotC characterizes the drow as inherently evil. My house rules are that none of the races are inherently evil because the broad strokes in the source material as problematic af. So while the followers of Lolth might be evil I want to make it clear that doesn't equal all drow are bad. Dafni holds all varieties of elves in tender regard. As an eladrin of the fey wilds and a follower of Corellon she understands that fluid and changing nature of all living things. Life is messy and people do not fit into boxes, very few folks are all bad or all god. Not every elf worships the Seldarine and that’s ok. A fundamental part of Corellon is freedom and choice therefore it would be foolish to insist her path is the only right one. Her issue is with Lolth not the drow as a whole.

The Underdark was a horrid and forsaken place. A shudder ran down Dafni’s spine as she rubbed away the gooseflesh cropping up across her arms. Lolth’s influence hung heavy in the stale air. She would have to step lightly. A cleric of Corellon would be a great prize to the followers of the Spider Queen. She missed the warm sun on her face, the feeling of grass beneath her bare feet. She could feel herself wilting under the oppressive darkness that surrounded them.

Anxiety was a strange and forging feeling. The majority of her 160 years had been spent embodying the playful delight of spring. Perhaps it was on account of her relative youth. Or, maybe it was the influence of Corellon Larethian, whose wild and wonderful influence she had felt all her life. He had looked out for her. Cared for her as a father would his child. Truly, Corellon felt as much a parent to her as her mother, Thesmia did. A meek half-smile tugged at the corner of her lips. He had given her a reason to leave home when the wanderlust became far too much for her to contain. If she was to flourish as both an elf and a divine servant, Dafni would need to truly know herself beyond being Thesmia’s shadow. Absentmindedly her fingers reached for the familiar crescent moon that hung from her neck.

Her feet skidded to a halt, her trembling hand pulled away empty. Her blood turned to ice. An agonizing dagger of guilt pierced her heart and she felt as though the ground beneath her would open up and swallow her whole. Part of her wished that it would. She had carried the holy symbol since she was a young girl. Though she knew in her soul it had been her’s even before that. It had served as her connection not just to her god, but her heritage and primal spirit- The very essence of her being. 

“I lost it.” Her voice was less than a whisper, stunned and distant. Tears began to well up in her eyes. The world around her was growing colder by the second. “My amulet is gone.” Her breath began to come out in heaves and she began to sob in earnest. “It- It must have gotten lost when the minotaur tossed me!” 

 Her sharp cry stopped her traveling companions in their tracks. Each of their faces dressed in varying degrees of confusion and concern. Gale began to speak but his words were drowned out but the low ringing in her ears. A dizzy, sickening feeling bloomed in her gut and the edges of her vision began to blur as the darkness she had so feared gripped her soul.

They had doubled back to the old Selûnite fort. The others were still there setting up a temporary camp. Shadowheart hadn’t been able to find anything physically wrong with her aside from the normal bumps and scrapes that were to be expected on an active adventurer. 

Astarion felt truly helpless for the first time since he’d escaped Cazador’s clutches. It had been an hour and Dafni had yet to wake. He clasped her hand in his. A soft blue had slowly been spreading over her sage-green skin, creeping its way from the tips of her fingers to the crown of her head. Her locks were shifting at the root from rosy pink to a frosty teal. The flowers that wove through her loose ponytail had all weathered into dust. 

He squeezed her hand, “Come on Daffodil…”

Gale had been fairly positive that this was, to some extent normal for the eladrin of the Feywilds. Something about a book he’d read by some notable wizard? Truth be told Astarion hadn’t been paying much attention. He was too busy staring down Lae’zel, who’s paranoia filled gaze had been locked on Dafni’s sleeping form from the moment they’d returned. 

He should have been annoyed at her. The loss of some silly costume jewelry had caused her to swoon like a high born lady. He knew she was made of stronger stuff than that. Her little spell had put them all behind and left them without a healer the whole trek back to the fort. Yet, try as he might Astarion couldn’t seem to conjure up the ire he held for those too weak to survive hardship on their own.

 He groaned, letting his head hit the wall behind him with a soft thunk. There it was again- That damn sentimentality! By the Hells, he was a vampire, not a nursemaid! What had gotten into him? 

“You should rest.” Wyll placed a hand on his shoulder, “I’ll keep an eye on her for a bit.” 

His eyes went narrow, a low growl rumbling in his chest. The idea of leaving her while she was vulnerable made his blood boil. 

I’ll watch your back and you watch mine…

Her promise echoed through his thoughts. Dafni had held her end of the bargain with unwavering resolve. If he left now it would feel too much like betraying the one person he’d allowed even a fragment of trust in the past two centuries.

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t an appropriate reaction.” He muttered while he whisked away an icy tear from her cheek. “I’m just a bit... Out of sorts.” 

Wyll nodded, taking a seat on the dusty floor beside him, “Hey, she’s tough. She’ll pull through, whatever this is.” The warlock gave him an almost smug look, “You really care for her don’t you?” 

“I hardly see how that’s any of your concern.” He sneered with a wave of his hand, “Besides, my concern is simply a matter of pragmatism. Our little band of misfits can’t afford to lose our best healer-” Astarion hesitated for a moment before adding, “Don’t tell Shadowheart I said that. We need not add my body to the pile- Should things go poorly.” 

“If I promise not to sell you out will you take a break?” 

For the first time since she had fainted, he noticed the scratchy dryness in his throat. Astarion scowled, there was little in the way of appetizing food that he had seen but he would just have to make due. He was loathed to leave her side but Wyll was a good man, a better one than him in truth. He would keep her safe. 

“What’s this? The legendary Blade of the Frontiers, stooping to common blackmail.” He tried to keep his tone flat but he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips, “Fine, I’ll take a break. I’m a bit parched anyway. I suppose I’ll try to track something palatable down here. Unless…”

 He arched an eyebrow towards Wyll who moved away with an overstated scoot. 

“Not a chance, now go!” 

Cold. 

A crushing, all-consuming chill wrapped its arms around her spirit. Spring had left her. Now she stood alone in the isolating melancholy of winter. She reached out for the familiar warmth of The Protector but here- In this cursed place his influence felt far and foreign. If only she had her holy amulet. It could have served as a compass leading her back to Corellon’s embrace. She would simply have to press on. She had put them behind already and there was no time for sentiment. She wouldn’t be able to cast spells until she found a replacement and the chances of a spare symbol of her god in the Underdark were laughable. Dafni tried to sniff back the tears pricking at the edges of her eyes but it was no use. They rolled down her baby blue cheeks freezing before they could fall to the ground. She glanced up at Astarion, who walked a few paces ahead. While Gale and Wyll had spent the better part of a day coddling her, he had remained distant. 

Maybe he didn’t want her like this? Her sadness threatened to consume anyone near her and he had enough grief of his own. He had admitted once that he enjoyed having her near. Whispered in her ear that she was sunlight and happiness made flesh as he took her in a flower patch of her own creation. 

The feeling of a gentle hand pulled her from her thoughts. Gale offered her a small smile before speaking, “Are you all right?” 

“Oh-” She sniffed, whipping away another frozen tear, “I’ll be alright. I just don’t feel much like myself right now.” 

Gale nodded in response, “Yes, I can see that. Perhaps we shouldn’t have brought you here. The Underdark does seem quite at conflict with the very core of your being.”

A mournful laugh escaped her aching chest, “I don’t think we’d have had any better luck with that shadow curse above ground. No, my sorrow isn’t a good enough reason to risk the rest of the group’s safety.” She brought an icy hand to Gale's cheek, causing him to shiver, “I appreciate your concern but really I’ll be alright. We eladrin are ruled by our emotions, a shift of season was inevitable at some point or another. It’s unfortunate for the rest of you it had to be winter. Things are dire enough without my sorrowful presence bringing you all down with me. Perhaps it would be best for all of you to keep your distance.”

 She sighed, her eyes falling on Astarion, who lingered just on the edge of the bitter cold her sadness created. While it pained her to say it, she knew he was right to keep away. The others should do the same if they were wise. Gale gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 

“He’s a funny one, Astarion.” Gale mused, “Wyll told me he had to resort to extortion to pry him from your side while you were out. Yet, today he acts as if you have the plague.”

A small snort of laughter broke past her tears, “Extortion?” 

“I believe comments were made comparing Shadowheart’s healing abilities to your own. Wyll offended his silence in exchange for Astarion taking a break.”

“That’s not fair to her.” Dafni sniffed, “She’s not a life cleric, she does her best.” 

“You have a good heart, Dafni.” Gale said giving her arm a squeeze, “My point is I think he cares about you, in his own odd way. At the very least he’s far more pleasant when you are around”

“You really think so?” 

“I do,” Gale assured, “he’d have to be the biggest fool in Faerûn not to see how wonderful you are.�� 

Dafni felt a bit of warmth return to her heart. Not enough to thaw her sorrows but it was a start. Gale’s words helped her sort through the chaos of her mind as they had so many times before. He was a loyal and kind friend, as was Wyll. Shadowheart too despite her evasive and secretive nature. Even Lae’zel had warmed to her as best she was able despite their differences. There was a solace to be found in the support of her peers. She wasn’t so alone after all.

The sound of her laugh hit Astartion like a battering ram. She seemed to be in slightly better spirits since arriving in the Myconid Circle. She floated about the fungus folk with an easy familiarity. It seemed being among the vibrant plants and creatures of grotto had offered her some sense of normalcy. He looked over his shoulder to see what had coaxed a giggle from her (no matter how pitiful and melancholy it sounded). A sharp twinge of jealousy ran down his spine as he watched Dafni stroke Gale’s cheek with a somber smile. 

He bit the feeling back. It was better for them both if he kept his distance. Gentle kindness was hardly his strong suit. Gods, he was a disaster. How many times had she offered him comfort even when he spurned her? She had given so freely to him, her kindness, the warmth of her bed, the very blood in her veins. And there he was relying on someone else to comfort his lover.   

 Dafni was a resilient little thing. So optimistic and sweet it made his teeth hurt. It was disorienting to see her so morose. He had learned the boundaries of her emotional aura rather quickly. He had noticed an unfamiliar warm feeling that first night at camp. He found himself lingering near her as often as he could after that. Savoring the tender happiness that radiated from off of her. She had told him it was simply part of her nature. A charming quirk he’d grown to enjoy a great deal. But now he could feel her heavy sorrow as if it were his own and he longed to make her hurt go away.  

Damn sentimentality.

He had his own worries. He didn’t need to take on hers as well. She didn’t need him to coddle her. And more importantly, he most certainly was not beholden to her contentment for his own survival despite his halfwit heart’s insistence to the contrary. She was making him soft. It was ridiculous! He was far too old to be fretting over her like a lovelorn sprat. 

It must be the tadpole. Her compassion must have wormed its way into his brain somehow. That was the only logical explanation.

He needed to clear his head and get some distance between them so he could feel more himself. He wandered aimlessly about the grotto as he attempted to show away any feelings of softhearted sympathy but it was no use. He rubbed his temples and let out a frustrated huff. He should never have taken that first taste of her. She’d become an irresistible craving from that moment on. It wasn’t just her blood, but every aspect of her that called to him. Inviting him to take refuge in her affections. He could feel himself lowering his guard a little bit more each day despite his efforts to keep her at arm's length. She’d flash him that beguiling little grin, her topaz eyes brimming over with admiration and he would find himself tempted to let her just another inch closer. He’d known she was dangerous from the moment he clapped eyes on her in the wreckage of the crash. He’d prepared himself for a stake to the heart but the infatuation she had inspired in him was infinitely more frightening and possible just as deadly.

He made his way to the alcove where the Society of Brilliance had set up shop. The strange hobgoblin had mentioned something to the party about being a collector of magical items and oddities. Walking had failed to rid him of his frustrations perhaps shopping would. 

A glimmer caught his eye as he approached the cluttered stall. There, on the table was a familiar silver amulet. He was going to get it back for her and pray the gesture was enough to curb his need to see her happy. He could swipe it easily enough but he didn’t want to draw trouble to Dafni if she was spotted wearing it. No, charm and a dash of intimidation would be his best shot.

“Excuse me,” He smiled wide allowing for a slight flash of his fangs, “I was hoping you would be willing to part with that necklace.”

“A vampire interested in the acquisition of a holy symbol?” 

“Yes, it’s very ironic.” Astarion rolled his eyes. “Now, how much do you want for the damn thing?”

“Well, first time for everything.” the hobgoblin shrugged, “You have a good eye, this is very unique. It’s forged from mithral and inlaId with sylvan moonstones. The holy symbol of Corellon is more commonly depicted as an eight-pointed star these days rather than the crescent moon. Meaning this item is very old indeed! It was brought in just yesterday. I would be hesitant to sell it but my research does require more funding. How does 900 gold sound?”

“I hate to be the one to tell you but ‘very old’ is a relative term when it comes to items of elvish origin.” He kept his tone flat and unimpressed, “Long-lived people do tend to hold onto things.” 

“Ah, but you’ll find this is more than your average antique! Judging by the craftsmanship I would say it dates back to the time of the primal elves.”

Shit. 

Of course, her necklace had much more than sentimental value. He had hoped for a quick haggle but it seemed he was going to have to work for it. He really didn’t have that much coin on him, nor was he inclined to spend it on something that was not rightfully the hobgoblin’s to sell. He raffled through his mind searching for a thinly veiled threat or convincing argument to lower the price until the perfect mixture of the two dawned on him.

Astarion let out a droll hum as he checked his nails with casual disinterest. He spoke in a low, blasé voice, “You said before you weren’t much for combat? Don’t you think it’s risky, carrying around a holy item of Corellon in the den of the Spider Queen? It would be such a shame if something were to happen to you at the hands of a zealot. Really I’m doing you a favor by purchasing it. I’ve crossed swords with the Lolth sworn before they are merciless and skilled fighters almost as dangerous and bloodthirsty as vampires.”

He let a wicked bark of laughter. A bemused expression flickering across his face. He could smell the fear stirring in the timid merchant. It would seem he hadn’t lost his edge after all.  

Blurg swallowed hard before mustering a response, “ Ah- I hadn’t thought about that...”

Dafni sat cross-legged on the ramparts of the fort fletching a new batch of arrows. She’d need more to compensate for her lack of magic for the time being. She’d spent the whole trek back to their camp scanning the ground for her necklace but it had all been for not. She’d just have to accept the fact it was gone no matter how much it broke her heart. 

“There you are, darling. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

 The sound of Astarion’s voice caused her to jump, tossing her arrow down with a start. Dafni clutched her chest shooting him a sharp look. He only laughed, his infuriating gorgeous face fixed in a grin that reminded her of a satyr who stumbled upon a river of bathing nymphs. He dipped to his knees placing a hungry kiss on her scowling lips. He couldn’t be serious. All-day she had been desperate for his attention and he was completely uninterested but now that he had an itch to scratch he was searching up and down for her. Unbelievable! She shouldn't have been surprised. It wasn’t as if he’d ever promised her his undying love and devotion. Still, she had thought him tactful enough not to proposition her after the hell she’d been through that day. 

“I’m not really in the mood right now.” She scolded, “You’ll just have to entertain yourself tonight, you egotistical lecher!”

“That- Isn’t why I sought you out. But, if you truly don’t want my company I’ll leave you be.” He shrugged his tone flippant despite the flash of vulnerability in his ruby eyes.

“I- I’m sorry that was really mean and uncalled for. Please stay.”

Stupid impulsive girl.

She slumped forwards, hiding her face in her knees. She could feel the icy tears threatening to spill over for the hundredth time that day. He’d come to check on her and she’d cut him down because of her own insecurity. The bitterness had gotten the better of her and she had unwittingly discouraged his attempt at compassion. 

“If you think the accusation of being a rake is the most heinous insult that’s been hurled at me I’m afraid you’ve missed the mark by quite a lot.” 

He sat down beside her, placing a hesitant hand on her back. She could sense his uncertainty. He was nervous and clearly out of his depth but he was trying. His cautious fingertips moved slowly across the expanse of her back, tracing nebulas shapes and patterns as she drew short, shallow breaths. She couldn’t bear to look at him. She just knew he was staring at her with the same wide, gentle eyes he had when she’d offered her neck to him that night in the woods. If she saw him like that the dam would break and she’d be an utter mess. 

“I still shouldn’t have said it.” Her voice came out shaky and quiet as she peeked over the top of her knees at him. 

“I think I’ll find it in my heart to forgive you.” He leaned in close, whispering in her ear. “I have something for you. Now, stand up and close your eyes.”

She arched a questioning brow but compiled, hopping to her feet. He pushed her ponytail to one side. His touch lingered on her jumping pulse causing a shiver to run down her spine. A warm chuckle falling from his lips in response. The cool feeling of metal draped across her throat, an otherworldly comfort hummed all around her as the delicate weight of a pendant fell against her chest. 

“Where did you find it!!” Dafni gasped, “I thought I had lost it forever! You can’t fathom how much this means to me.”

“It’s a gift, to repay you for all the ones you’ve given me.”  

It probably seemed a small thing to him but he’d returned a missing piece of herself. Words felt woefully inadequate to express her gratitude. She threw her arms around his neck, sending him staggering back a bit. She hardly noticed. She stood on her tiptoes placing gentle kisses all over him. First over the bridge of his nose and then his cheeks and down his neck. Her fingers laced through his soft curls tugging him close, her lips brushed against his. Astarion’s hands fell to her soft waist, his mouth ever so slightly parting for hers. Dafni sighed, running her tongue along the warm seam of his lip earning her a satisfied purr. His hand ventured to the small of her back gently coaxing her closer. She took in a deep breath, the dizzying blend of leather and patchouli making her weak at the knee. She could have stayed like that forever, pressed safe and content against his solid chest. The feeling was big and terrifying but magical and perfect all at once. 

Drat...

She was falling in love with him.

[monkeymindscream]

You've had Warden Wrath hcs, what about our dear Emperor Belos?

Of COURSE I have headcanons for Emperor Belos I love him!!

- He is ridiculously charismatic. This is the guy who managed to gain the support of an entire populace and radically alter their way life shortly after appearing seemingly from nowhere. Even if we assume that the majority of that influence came from people believing he could talk to the Titan, he still would’ve had to make them believe he could in the first place. A big part of the borderline-worship admiration his subjects have for him stems from his people skills back before he shut himself up in his castle.

- Pumpdrake spice season is his favorite time of year. What is a pumpdrake, you ask? It’s the botanical Frankenstein of a pumpkin and a mandrake. Instead of “carving jack’o’lanterns,” the tradition on the Boiling Isles is to hunt and slay the pumpdrake with the face/expression you want. Afterwards you gut your kill then display its rigor-mortis-ridden carcass on your porch or in your window or something. The guts themselves are super flavorful, with the smaller, more yellow-y ones being more savory (often used in soups and things) and the darker orange ones being sweet (the aforementioned pumpdrake spice). EB will eagerly consume literally anything containing pumpdrake spice in it. — Also: Like on Earth, there’s kind of a stigma against openly liking pumpdrake spice, because God forbid anyone be allowed to like harmless things on this wretched plain of existence. It’s a good way to get yourself labeled as “basic,” actually. Enter our Emperor, gracefully not giving a damn. Should he ever come across anyone complaining about people liking pumpdrake spice, he’d likely take great pleasure in materializing behind them and politely interjecting, “Well I happen to quite like pumpdrake spice, actually; would you care to explain to me why you’re so offended by it?” then quietly enjoy the rest of his drink as they shat themselves and tried to backpedal. — I have no idea how he enjoys the aforementioned drink while wearing his mask. Maybe he pours it into his eyes like he did with the palisman innards; maybe he has some sort of proboscis that pokes out from under his mask that he uses to slurp it up. Maybe he just uses a straw. Who’s to say.

- He has a genuine soft spot for Kikimora. This derives solely from the fact that he called her “Kiki” at the end of Young Blood, Old Souls. Like yes I know Lilith called her “Kiki” too and they obviously didn’t care for each other, but look: as far as we’d seen up until that moment EB referred to people almost exclusively by their formal full name/an unshortened form of their first name (“Edalyn/Lilith Clawthorne”), or by a derisive title (“Human”). But he gave Kikimora a (seemingly honestly affectionate??) nickname of sorts. Plus she’s essentially his face and mouth when he either doesn’t feel like making public appearances or just plain can’t - that has to imply at least some level of trust there. — Kiki’s fully aware of this, and is insufferably smug about it. She’s lucky the Isles’ Top Dog likes her, because literally no one else does. (She’s not particularly bothered.)

- Romance is his favorite book genre, believe it or not. Or at least it would be if the writers on the Boiling Isles could step away from clichés for five freaking seconds. — DO NOT GET HIM STARTED ON PINIET PUBLISHING HOUSE THEIR BOOKS ARE THE WORST OFFENDERS OF THEM ALL. Hell, their books are the reason half those clichés are even clichés to begin with - they mass produce utter shit. He’s wanted to petrify righteously arrest Piniet for years, but Kiki always stops him by pointing out that the publishing company’s books are wildly popular amongst his coven (the whole Isle, really, but speaking specifically here) and destroying the source would likely cause a massive dip in morale. And anyway, he hasn’t technically done anything legally wrong that they could bring him in for - it’s ultimately more trouble than it’s worth.

- He’s fucking clueless when it comes to some of the actual responsibilities that come with keeping an empire running. Don’t get me wrong, he understands there are certain things that need to get done, and he understands why they need to be done. He just doesn’t have the instincts for how. Like if some official-whoever were to come up to him and ask him “Emperor,  how do you plan to stimulate the economy in some of the Isles’ poorer areas?” he’d be lost. Fuck if he knows, man, how is one person supposed to be able to answer that?? He knows magic - he has dissected magic down to its core and could list the names of all its squishy bits by heart. He knows greater-scope things. He does not know how to break-up infighting between two townships. — When he’s asked questions like this, he will usually respond by looking to his right. Kiki (who was standing there, waiting) will then promptly step forward, say something to the effect of “The Emperor has discussed this issue with me previously, he is of the mind that-” and will then offer a suggestion. No one questions it because well the Emperor is sitting literally right there, so obviously if he had any issues with it he’d have punted the little gremlin into orbit by now, right? Everyone just assumes EB doesn’t feel like repeating himself when he’s already discussed it with his assistant. Truth is Kiki pulled that out of her ass on the spot. Lucky for the Isles she’s good at her job. — This plays a big part in why EB’s likes Kiki so much. She takes a good chunk of responsibility and stress off his shoulders so he can focus on whatever mysterious tasks the Titan may (or may not we’ll have to see) be instructing him to complete.

- His omnipresent/all-seeing shtick comes from his connection to the Titan. By virtue of the Isle literally being made from their body, the Titan is, essentially, everywhere. Therefore, EB’s awareness spreads everywhere. This has limits, obviously, since at the end of the day EB’s just one person and can only split his focus so many ways (not to mention it takes more energy to “see” the farther he looks away from his physical self), but it’s still more than what most people can do. Even more than what most Oracle witches can do.

- He takes abysmal care of himself. Yes, I know, it’s shocking to think that the guy who’s dumping magic goop into his face wouldn’t be a paragon of self-care, but trust me on this one. He will go days without sleep then get frustrated that his body is behaving so sluggishly; he’ll neglect to eat until his stomach is so empty it’s cramping, and he’ll still put it off for “just a bit more, it can wait for just a little longer.” The man is a disaster. — This also actually stems from his connection with the Titan. Over time, EB has become so entwined with it (see: its heart beating faster when he’s agitated/excited) that his own body has slowly stopped registering its own needs. Its attuned to what the Titan needs, and the Titan doesn’t need anything. Which is a flawed fucking system, really, because he still needs everything, he just has no way to gauge when or how much anymore.

- The reason the main nine covens are “the main nine” is specifically because they’re each a track of magic that EB is proficient in. And as the creator of the coven system, he got first say in which ones were quote “important.”

I have more (because if left sit long enough I could talk about my favorite characters for days) but a good chunk of what’s left kind of move out of “headcanon” territory and into “theories,” so I’ll stop here. If anyone’s interested in hearing the theories (or AUs, or ships, or whatever) feel free to send an ask and I’ll ramble some more.

[jira-chii]

I tried rewriting the Afterlost/Shoumetsu Toshi anime

Background: Madhouse made an anime from a mobile game with the best story out of any gacha game I have ever played, and fucking botched it. So I tried to see if I could do it better.

You don’t need to have seen Shoumetsu Toshi to read this post.  However I do recommend reading this article concurrently with my summary of episodes on twitter.

So, the Shoumetsu Toshi anime was announced during the game’s fifth anniversary, and aired in April 2019. It was both exciting and terrifying because Shoumetsu Toshi is a seriously underrated game with a mindblowing story, but given the track record of game-to-anime adaptations, everyone was sceptical about it. And that scepticism ended up being justified. 

In summary (my opinion): the anime itself started out half-decent, shot itself in the foot three episodes in, staggered back up for another two or three episodes, fell flat on its face directly after, and then just kept on falling from episode 8 onwards.

While watching said anime, I realised there were very minor things I could do to improve the flow, such as changing the order of episodes, or introducing certain characters later. After a while I came up with a new alternate anime structure (see tldr on twitter). This post will be the accompanying commentary explaining the decisions I made.

My aim for this exercise was to stick as close as possible to the main message and tone of the original anime. Honestly though, if I were rewriting the anime from scratch, I would have taken a different approach entirely (because I don’t agree with the message or the tone of what we got, but that’s a story for another post).

I have tried to make sure you don’t need to watch the anime to understand this post (it would be my last wish to force anyone to watch it). That said, I may make reference to the (far superior) source material, the Shoumetsu Toshi game. I have tried to keep the general commentary in the main body, with more specific detail in the side notes at the end of each episode break-down. 

Ok, here goes.

Episode 1 Lost/Lost

The role of the first episode is to establish the characters and setting. The main idea of this episode should be to introduce Lost as mysterious and frightening, and why the main characters need to go there.

As a whole, I think the original anime does do this. It starts off with an overview of the situation (courtesy of Yuki’s monologue), and then gives us some action. Characters are introduced, the mystery starts to reveal itself, and then we end on a cliffhanger. I personally don’t feel a need to change that structurally.

I do however feel the need to switch up the order and amount of introduced characters in this episode. Our brains can only hold so much information in one episode and this episode probably exceeded that capacity and then some. 

Instead of Eiji and Kikyou saving them, I suggest having Takuya take Yuki to Geek’s first. Geek can provide a simple man’s explanation of the tragedy of Lost, using his favourite idol group SPR5 as an illustrative example. 

This means we will not be met with completely new information when the much heavier exposition from Kikyou and Eiji comes later. Because instead of brand new information, most of it will be filling in the gaps from what Geek told us. And that is much less headache-inducing than the chaos of the original episode 1.

This also means the cliffhanger of the first episode becomes Yuki finding out her father is possibly alive (instead of us wondering if Takuya is still alive…). This is admittedly not as dramatic nor as shocking as the cliffhanger of the original anime. However I went with this because I don’t think an audience going in blind would have been able to handle any more new information right after what Kikyou and Eiji did to us. Also, I don’t think many people would fall for the main character dying in the very first episode...

Side notes:

The original episode 1 started with Yuki’s monologue. I liked that it invoked interest while telling a story succinctly. So I would keep it. I would also keep the scene where Takuya busts Yuki out by throwing a fire extinguisher and jumping out the window because ngl, that was badass.

I think the original anime built up too much goodwill in Takuya in the first two episodes. By episode 2, Yuki basically completely trusts him, but I think it would be more fitting if Takuya had to ‘earn’ that goodwill gradually. Note that in my version of episode 1, none of the conflicts between Takuya and Yuki are resolved. For example, in the original anime, Takuya tells Yuki even if she doesn’t trust him, she has to trust her dad. What a good-guy thing to say. That doesn’t happen in my version. The aim of that is to create a constant feeling of unease and tension. Because this early on, none of us should be sure if Yuki can really trust anyone around her. She’s just forced to follow them to find her father.

You may have noticed I’ve removed Rou (flying monk dude) entirely from my version of the anime. I’m not hating on Rou, but I really don’t think he was useful. In fact, he just made people more confused. I would much rather prefer Suzumebachi appear in both episodes, with the fight not even happening until the second. I made this decision with three reasons in mind: 1. It sets up the expectation in the audience for more action in later episodes, encouraging them to keep watching to see the resolution; 2. It makes Suzumebachi seem like a more threatening opponent, thereby upping the tension; and 3. There is one less character we have to introduce (Akira), meaning he’ll really shine and leave an impact when we do the big reveal

Honestly, I would also remove fortune teller Kazuko. That’s a cameo nobody asked for, and it felt kind of forced. Though there’s also no harm in keeping her in. 

On the other hand I have deliberately chosen to delay introducing Yumiko and Kouta. Like I said, there are already too many characters in this first episode. The result of this, though, is that my ending deviates quite a lot from the original episode 1 ending. But I think that’s fine. This is only episode 1, we don’t have to end with drama. I think it’s more important to get the main themes across (the episode is titled ‘Lost’, so let’s make that the focus until the very end ok).

Episode 2: Sacrifice/Sacrifice

Episode 1 should be somewhat dramatic and action-packed to hook our audience in. But then episode 2 should provide them with more information about the setting. I think the anime made a bad move by pulling a plot twist at the end of episode 1 and then immediately rectifying it in episode 2. It feels cheap and undermining. And a waste of time.

So I chose to avoid the whole thing with Yumiko and Kouta saving Takuya. Instead I get Eiji and Kikyou to send them straight into hiding. I think it is more fitting if, directly following from episode 1, this episode starts off focusing on Yuki’s feelings about her family. This provides some much-needed context, and makes her values clear from the beginning, as she starts thinking about whether it is worth going to Lost to find her father.

Now we can start introducing some new characters. Honestly though, in the grand scheme of things, Yumiko and Kouta serve the exact same purpose as Eiji and Kikyou in the narrative. Which is a shame, because I think just their connection to the organisation opens up a whole heap of possibilities. Therefore, if I am going to include them I should take advantage of that connection. In my version of the anime I make them privy to certain information about Lost. This would make sense because the organisation they used to work for was all about getting Taiyou to Lost to complete the Noah Plan. By making that special information only Yumiko and Kouta know, I make them important to the plot. 

I can further leverage their connection to the enemy to arouse suspicion in them, because Takuya and Yuki wound up in an ambush with Suzumebachi following their instructions. But that’s a minor conflict that can easily be resolved and is honestly not that important.

What is important, is that being ambushed by Suzumebachi means I can finally show off  tamashii Akira! The fight will basically play out like the original episode 1, only with Suzumebachi instead of Rou. After the fight, I envision the scene to play out similar to the end of the original episode 3, with Souma appearing before them.

Side notes:

In the original anime episode 2, Yuki talks to Takuya when he shares bread with her on the roof. They talk about Akira, which is fair enough. However in my version they don’t even know about Akira at this point. They have nothing in common to bond over. Also, Yuki is still distrustful of him. This more closely mirrors the game, where both of them were more closed off. But I think it makes sense to be wary of a stranger you just met, let alone one who just called you a fucking package. 

That said, we can hint at some development through symbolism. Yuki starts off thinking about her family all by herself. But then Takuya comes. And even if they get nowhere in their conversation, physically at least, Yuki is no longer alone. 

The true reason Yumiko betrays the organisation is simply that she likes Takuya. But she can’t just tell him that directly. That’s one of the reasons the anime uses Suzuna in episode 2. I have Kouta take that role here. I also wanted Yumiko’s attraction to Takuya to be more subtle than her straight up telling Suzuna she likes him. There’s a bit of dramatic irony there because Takuya would still be suspicious of her, but the audience should be able to tell her true reason for helping is actually quite pure.

Akira is actually a symbol of hope for Yuki. He is a remnant of her old life. But as is the case in the tragic storyline of Shoumetsu Toshi, whenever we see hope, we must destroy it in the most ironic way possible. Here, it is the appearance of the other person from her old life, her brother Souma.

Episode 3: Memory/Suspicion

The original anime pulled a really, really bad move here, by throwing in a monster of the week-style episode while its setting was still developing. This is confusing and distracting. But the biggest reason I chose to delay the SPR5 episode to episode 4 is because Yuki’s character development in the original episode 3 was too great, as to almost make no sense. 

Therefore, I use episode 3 instead as a stepping stone to get Yuki to learn to trust the people around her. Once she can resolve her own insecurities, then it makes more sense for her to be able to fix other people’s problems.

My version of episode 3 is more similar to the anime’s original episode 4, which introduced Ryouko. After being betrayed by her remaining family member, a traumatised Yuki is finally introduced to somebody she thinks she can actually trust. But Eiji and the others warn Yuki she must not tell Ryouko anything. That said, Ryouko proves to be a good person, who even helps with some of Yuki’s troubles.

Introducing Ryouko also introduces the investigative element of the anime, which emphasises the Lost mystery, but is also honestly a breath of fresh air from the doom and gloom on Yuki’s side. A benefit of seeing the police’s perspective is that they are just as clueless as the audience. So it is much easier to follow their train of thought (compared to the other group led by Eiji and Kikyou). 

So, with three episodes done, the audience should now have a good idea of what they are getting themselves into. We’ve got the characters, the setting, and a couple of mysteries set up. All that’s left is to deliver on them (which is easier said than done).

Side notes:

Honestly, writing up this first encounter with Suzuna and Souma was harder than I expected. The problem is that Souma is too powerful to be deterred by anyone, especially not the police. I have to come up with some reason to force him out of the picture. I decided to use Suzuna for a couple of reasons. It gives the audience a good sense of her foresight powers. But also, maybe it could indicate Suzuna has another motive? I had thought as far as using Taiyou as Suzuna’s excuse: Souma did not inform Taiyou he was going off on his own. If he does anything unnecessary he could get into trouble. This also effortlessly allows me to foreshadow the final boss.

Yuki is a very introspective character, meaning she thinks to herself a lot but rarely shows it. Which is why having a character like Ryouko spell out things for the audience can be helpful. 

Importantly, Yuki does not reveal everything to Ryouko just yet, even though she really wants to. This ups the tension, but importantly, it also means Ryouko can stick around a little longer! So we (and Yuki) get some time to get attached to her.

Ryouko’s thought process right now would be: she thinks the group is suspicious, but needs more evidence to back her gut feeling. So she does the background check, leading to Kaibara where we can hint at Takuya’s connection to Yoshiaki and start setting up the Kaitodan arc.

Episode 4: Suspicion/Memory

With the main plot finally set up, I am now comfortable to slip in the SPR5 episode. Surprisingly, I actually did not mind the episode as much as I thought I would. 

My biggest recommendation for this episode would be to drop the entire Seiji/Shoumetsu subplot altogether. It is just too confusing with all the other information in the episode. And with Seiji dying eventually, in the grand scheme of things it means nothing. The main aim of this episode should be to focus on what tamashii really are and what they can do. Dropping Seiji also means Takuya doesn’t have to disappear during Yuki’s character development (?) during her moment with Yua. I would really like to use this episode to hint more at Takuya’s regret, and do some more solid foreshadowing of the orphanage arc. This then leads in nicely to the sudden phone call from Yumiko I have inserted at the end of this episode to set up the next.

Episode 5: Affection/Affection

Just like the anime, my versions of episodes 5 and 6 focus on the Kaitodan. However, I make some pretty big changes. While I did really enjoy the execution of the original episode 5 (which was my favourite episode of the whole series), the whole ‘heist’ made no sense to me. Kaitodan didn’t even enter the building past the roof. The only real merit of the original setting is the clock tower, which is an Easter egg referencing Tsubasa and Yoshiaki’s reunion in the actual game. 

So I decided to switch up the tone entirely, by having Takuya and Yuki meet Yoshiaki in a family restaurant (family being the key word). Again, admittedly not as dramatic as the original, but this saves a lot more time.

Something I think the anime really should have done was foreshadow Tsubasa better. He has deep ties to Takuya, but episode 5 is the first time we hear about him. I opted to foreshadow him in episode 3 (through Yumiko’s memories), and episode 2 (being used by Souma). This should make it easier for the audience to piece the puzzle together with Yuki.

My drama for this scene comes in the form of an actual kidnapping. By separating Takuya and Yuki, we get a glimpse into how each thinks of the other. It’s also great that Rui canonically flirts with Yuki so I want to see that. I also really want to show the family dynamic of the Kaitodan, for three reasons. 1. As a contrast with Yuki to emphasise the loss she feels in losing her own family; 2. The irony that Yoshiaki will join this family as a result of losing his own, and to know he will be in good hands; and 3. Kaitodan’s quirky personalities are the most lovable thing about them and we need to see more of it.

Side notes:

Yoshiaki’s power reveal having a purpose to the plot would be so much cooler than him just randomly making an owl feather disappear. I decided to show said power in the midst of a dramatic car chase scene. Because why not.

I gave quite a lot of thought into how Kaitodan could secretly track down Takuya and Yuki, and it goes like this: Kana bugged Yumiko, because Kaitodan know the organisation had something to do with Tsubasa disappearing. I envision it happening the night Yumiko left the organisation. Once Yumiko escapes far enough to be safe, she would feel a sense of relief. But her guard would also lower. Kana has been tracking Yumiko ever since, waiting for a clue. This means the Kaitodan heard Yumiko’s call with Kaibara and know Tsubasa is involved. But they couldn’t make a move on Yoshiaki directly because they were aware he was being surveilled. So they followed Takuya and Yuki via Yumiko, and waited for their chance. Also, because it was Yumiko they bugged, they don’t get to know the contents of Takuya and Yuki’s meeting with Yoshiaki. This is all implied in my version of the anime, but none of it is important. It is just a check I did to make sure everything made logical sense.

I went as far as making up a scene to show some Kaitodan interaction. But including that in the episode summary is probably too much detail, so I will indulge myself in these side notes:

The Kaitodan notice Takuya chasing them. Jack tells Yuki that her “lover boy” is here. Yuki gets flustered and says he’s only coming after her because of their contract.

Rui doesn’t understand what Yuki sees in an uncouth guy like Takuya. He talks about a time Takuya used some pretty underhanded methods to catch them. They managed to escape by the skin of their necks by Jack throwing an up-close bomb. Kana laughs remembering how the bomb totally ruined Rui’s clothes. Rui then gets angry at Jack because that was a new suit. Sumire tries to break (i.e. cut) them apart with her chainsaw, causing chaos as Kana continues laughing hysterically.

Yuki looks on this with a small smile, thinking the Kaitodan aren’t such a bad bunch.

Episode 6: Parting Ways/Choice

The anime concludes the Kaitodan arc in this episode, but I’d like to keep them for a little longer. I reserve the fighting for a later episode, and instead, I make this episode quite information heavy. The aim of all this is to lead into the orphanage arc. I did not like that Takuya went off to resolve his own regrets without Yuki in the original anime. However it makes no sense to have him make Yuki tag along with him to something unrelated to their contract. My solution to this is to give Yuki more agency, and the mind to make her own decision.

I intend for a couple of truth bombs to come out here: the organisation does human experimentation; Daichi works for the organisation; the organisation has a base in Lacuna; and Yuki and Takuya will die if they go to Lost. The anime left a lot of these reveals until the end, but I don’t think they are truly that important to warrant that. Having Yuki know these things now, and make a decision despite that, helps build her character more (so we can pull all her confidence down later).

Side notes:

Having Eiji reveal the truth puts both suspicion and trust in him. If he was working for Daichi, that means he was also working for the organisation. However, if what he says is the truth, the reason he reveals this information is because of his guilty conscience. To make sure he comes off as sincere, his guilt should be foreshadowed in earlier episodes.

I wonder, if Lacuna really did end up being the final boss, would that mean Yuki would not need to go to Lost anymore? If Yuki were able to save Souma and return him to ‘normal’ would she be satisfied with never seeing her father again? Or was she hoping Souma could join them on their journey to Lost as well? Honestly, not even I know what Yuki was thinking. All I know is that the anime built up Lacuna as a fake ‘last boss’ (spoiler: it’s not), so I will too.

Episode 7: Regret/Regret

Like the anime again, I make episode 7 the orphanage arc. Unlike the anime, I also combine it with Tsubasa’s arc. The key to making this work is to progress both, but put the focus on only one of the storylines. For episode 7, the orphanage will be the focus, while I leave Tsubasa for episode 8.

The anime originally put the focus of this episode on solving the mystery and finding the link between Lacuna and the orphanage. However, because of how I set things up in episode 6, our characters’ main goal is actually to find clues to the Iink between Souma and Tsubasa. I want the focus on the orphanage side to be entirely about Takuya’s character development, and how Yuki looks over that development. The real plot actually happens on the Kaitodan side. Naturally, Takuya and Yuki will eventually join the fray but I think, for the purpose of the final message of the anime, it is important to show that things can still happen without Takuya and Yuki. 

Side notes:

I want Ayano to have more screentime, so I am making her lead them to Hinako. Ayano thus acts as a facilitator, rather than an observer. Also, I plan to make her shuumeigiku an AF (because AF were built up as some really important thing in the original but were not even used in the final battle).

Having the episode end on a cliffhanger means the main characters (and hopefully the audience too) won’t have time to ponder the shuumeigiku, nor the birdhouse for now. This is intentional.

Episode 8: Choice/Parting Ways

In the original anime, episode 8 is the Lacuna break-in episode. But it’s still too early for that. My episode 8 wraps up the Kaitodan arc.

We've had some time to get to know the Kaitodan members so I want this episode to be their moment to shine. First off, putting the Kaitodan flashback at the start of the episode, instead of in the middle of a fight (like what episode 6 of the original did) makes it feel less hasty. I also use this opportunity to insert some more Kaitodan shenanigans through flashback. This episode focuses on the bonds they have with Tsubasa, and the pain of losing that bond. So to make that emotional impact really hit, I have to utilise the flashback effectively.

Other than that, I guess the fight will progress similarly to episode 6 of the original, just in a different setting.

Side notes:

Having Yoshiaki and Tsubasa’s confrontation in the middle of what was once the lab both were experimented on as children has symbolic significance, especially because AF are the key to the battle.

I avoided the whole flashback around Tsubasa slashing Tsuki/the organisation hacking Yoshiaki’s twitter to lure Tsubasa into a trap. Because I think this episode already has more than enough flashbacks. I want to try to avoid overuse of flashbacks because they tend to ruin the immersion and pacing of an episode. If I really had to insert it somewhere though, it would be during an exposition by Souma when he calls Tsubasa weak.

I tried to make Sumire and Kana’s roles more relevant. I am not sure if it worked.

You think the title of this episode refers to Yoshiaki and Tsubasa parting ways, but did you expect Ryouko would also actually die? This is (I hope), an unexpected death, and I want the audience to feel almost just as devastated as Yuki does. Ryouko’s stuck around for a while now, so killing her off should have some sort of impact.

The ending of my version of this episode is a direct copy of the Tsuki Taiyou scene from episode 10 of the original. Placing it here is a set up for what I have planned in my version of the Lacuna break-in. But alternatively, it could also be placed at the end of my version of episode 6, because that is the episode we learn more about the heads of the organisation.

Episode 9: Fate/Fate

The original anime made this entire episode a flashback. And I hate that. Because I hate flashbacks. And using one for an entire episode just seems like lazy writing. I will address the whole thing with Daichi in my own way in a later episode, but for now I’ve got to do the break-in.

So, in a nutshell, I was very unsatisfied with how the anime handled the break-in. It was anticlimactic, and the real conflict (with Souma) happened nowhere near Lacuna. I understand the need for futility, but having nothing accomplished at all in the grand scheme of things is also doing a disservice to your audience. Because it’s wasting time if it’s not progressing the story or characters.

Essentially, I want my version of this episode to deliver the same information as the original anime episode 9 (flashback), but with about 70% more action and 99% less flashback. 

As I mentioned before, Lacuna was built up like a climactic boss battle so I am going to treat it like one. This is also a chance to foreshadow Taiyou’s powers that exhibit symptoms of Lost. and a chance for Suzuna to show off more of how formidable her powers can be.

I’ve put Tsuki as the miniboss because mate, she’s perfect. Why wouldn’t I? The anime seriously missed a golden opportunity. Tsuki is actually a really good character to fight against because she stands for a lot. She is obviously on Taiyou’s side, but in a tragic way. Despite being betrayed by him, she still stands by him, and will sacrifice herself even after he turned her into a monster. This is exactly what makes her fascinating. She brings moral greyness to an otherwise black and white fight against Taiyou. It’s also a chance to show that Akira is becoming more powerful, and Yuki feels more confident in herself. 

That said, the end of this episode is a direct test of Yuki’s character development, because she’s been put in the exact same situation she was in at the start of the anime. This is her chance to fix that regret that’s been haunting her the whole time. And now she has Akira by her side, she can be brave enough to move forward. Little does she know, what lies beyond the door is really going to test her limits…

Side notes:

Yuki being a product of two worlds was surprising, but i feel the impact is stronger if she gets told that directly by Taiyou, rather than the audience seeing it through a flashback. It adds more tension, especially as Taiyou gets away.

In my version of the anime, it is entirely possible for Takuya and Yuki to not even be aware Tsuki was once human (but the audience does know). I can play up the dramatic irony, by having Tsuki voice her thoughts. Yuki might get the feeling: this monster is completely loyal to Taiyou. Is she his pet?

On the other hand, if I choose to have Tsuki present herself as human-turned-monster, this gives an opportunity for her to explain there is good in following the Noah plan: it will save a lot of people. Going with this version should involve suggesting that Tsuki at least genuinely does want to save the people on her side. Maybe she has a child?

The Noah plan is important for understanding Taiyou’s motives. But honestly it is not that important for the audience to know all the details. Which is why I want Takuya to be the one to see it. He’ll trivialise it, because he knows what’s really important is what’s happening for him now. And really, Noah is just trivia/fan service for the audience in this anime, seeing as there is barely any moral ambiguity in Taiyou anyway.

Episode 10: Decision/Decision

This is the Souma episode. Despite the very different build up, the events in my version aren’t that different from the anime. 

I thought the lab would be an appropriate final confrontation setting. It symbolises Souma’s desire for power which ultimately led to his current downfall. But he wanted that power to protect Yuki. Which should resonate with Akira. And that is why he is also there.

Akira needed more screen time in the anime. He is not just a weapon; tamashii are not tools. He is Yuki’s protector, and his very presence as a tamashii implies his regret and desire around that.

This is simultaneously the grieving episode (original episode 10), which I’ve merged into the seaside scene. To really heighten the emotion, Yuki should have an outburst. Think about it, she’s been keeping everything bottled up inside her: her lab PTSD, the tragic fate of the orphans, and Ryouko. Losing her brother was the last straw. Showing vulnerability to Takuya is a sign she trusts him.

At the same moment Yuki loses one of the most important people in her life, Takuya gives her hope for the future. A bittersweet moment like this is really what the message of the anime should be about. Additionally the timing of this ray of hope means it is so much more important to Yuki to hold onto that image of happiness (and more impactful for the audience).

Takuya showing willingness to give up his contract is the ultimate sign this man cares for Yuki.

Side notes:

I feel like I packed a lot into this episode, but that’s because Souma’s death scene actually goes by very quickly, because neither side are putting up much of a fight? Both the original anime and my version have to rely on flashbacks to pad it out.

I foreshadowed Souma’s fate using Tsuki (both morphed into monsters).

Akira should also feel emotionally impacted by Souma’s death. Why does the anime make it seem like both Daichi and Akira show favouritism towards Yuki? Souma is also Daichi’s child, and he also saw Akira as a big brother. 

I also think the flashbacks should show more of the three interacting together, instead of solely Yuki and Souma.

Souma gets some final character development by apologising to Akira before he dies. 

At the seaside, Akira is also grieving. But he is full of guilt. He does not have the right to comfort Yuki.

Putting ourselves in Yuki’s shoes for a moment: the only two people left as a reminder of her previous ordinary life were her brother and her father. Now that Souma is gone, she is left with no choice but to go to Lost. Even if we ignore all the saving the world rhetoric, Yuki would still go just for personal reasons alone. Because what Yuki wants more than ever right now is the comfort of family. It’s an incredibly tragic situation. That’s why it is so important that Takuya shows a willingness to break his contract. He’s not just comforting her because he wants her to get over it and go to Lost so he can do his job. Knowing this allows Yuki to trust him, and show her vulnerable side.

This is the moment Yuki wishes things were different. If Takuya wasn’t here with her, she really might have reset the world like Daichi wanted her to.

Episode 11: Trust/Trust

My version of episode 11 is quite similar to the anime’s episode 11. Except I cut some NPC moments and massively extend the parallel world moment.

Suzuna and Taiyou’s scene plays out like in the anime. If possible, I’d like them to have some conversation in the sedan hinting that Taiyou has lost his way to his original altruistic goal.

I make the crux of this episode the parallel worlds within Lost. I thought that part was very cool in the original anime, but it just wasn’t impactful enough. 

I want to use this as an opportunity for Yuki to see Daichi’s memory. Essentially, I want to condense the flashback episode (episode 9) in the original anime to its bare essentials. This is probably going to be challenging, but with a combination of visuals paired with efficient narration by Daichi, I think it is possible to make things move quicker.

Basically, I want Yuki to see the whole picture, to understand her father’s perspective, and despite that make her final decision. Yuki realises her father is from a parallel world and is trying to save a lot of people from another world. But even so she is conflicted about whether what she is doing is right.

I like that this allows a clear link to happiness at the end. Yuki resonates with Daichi’s own desire for happiness, causing her to remember the happy future she painted together with Takuya. This is a much clearer way of explaining how Takuya and Yuki managed to free themselves from the effects of Lost, while also emphasising their bond.

Side note:

I’d like to believe that even with a clear image of happiness in mind, a normal human like Takuya should not be able to escape Lost unscathed. I’d like to hint that the fact he is even able to function in this space is because of his bond with Yuki, a girl intricately connected to parallel worlds and thus more immune to their effects?

Episode 12: Future/Future

The last episode’s boss battle with Taiyou plays out largely like the original anime. But I think there is scope to have a lot more satisfying pay-offs.

Lost is how the tamashii came to be, so first off I would recommend there be more of them. Even Tsubasa, who disappeared, could possibly exist as a parallel world version of himself. That’s what Lost is about, after all.

It would be fitting if Taiyou also gets taken down by these other tamashii, including the orphans. This would be an appropriate approach to highlight the contrast between Taiyou (who is alone), and Takuya and Yuki (who are not). Additionally, I bring back the shuumeigiku, which means ‘to endure’, in order to emphasise the justice that was eventually served.

I wanted there to be less spotlight on Suzuna and more on Akira. After all, he is the one with the real meaningful connection to protecting Yuki. Therefore I have him deal the final blow after evolving. On top of being epic fanservice, the fact he is the only tamashii who evolves in the entire anime means there is narrative significance to it. It is the culmination of his bond with Yuki, and it is fitting that he can finally wield that power to protect her properly.

After the fight in the original anime, Daichi shows Yuki an alternate world without tragedy, an ideal world. However, importantly, this is a world where Yuki never interacts with Takuya, Geek, or any of the other people she’s met on her journey, and I think the anime could have done better to show that. 

So my alternative is to have Yuki see those happy versions of Ryouko, Yoshiaki etc in the previous episode, while showing her own alternative life in this one. I really want to juxtapose the happiness she feels living an ordinary life with her family, against the missed opportunities to meet people like Ryouko and Takuya. This provides a lot more ambiguity to her choice, and we get to see the conflict playing out in her head in real time. By actually making it possible to follow her train of thought, the audience will be more likely to understand why she makes the decision she makes.

Finally, I choose to end my version of the anime with a monologue from Daichi as a homage to the game. But also, it seems appropriate because he is an observer, just like us. And as observers, who are we to judge the choices people make? I contrast Daichi’s message of hope to the somewhat less than ideal futures everyone leads in order to show the ambiguous ending I think the original anime was going for. Regardless of whether you end up better or worse, life moves on.

Side notes:

Yuki needs to show more emotion when she sees Daichi. Seriously.

I referenced the ending of the original anime (Yuki’s ideal house) in the ‘ideal’ world Daichi shows Yuki. I think the message the anime wanted to convey with that scene is that what we perceive to be true happiness may not really be that. And that’s kind of the vibe I’m going for in my ideal world scene, which is why I put it there instead of at the end.

Daichi should thank Akira. Holy fuck the poor guy’s been through so much with absolutely zero gratitude. He kept your daughter alive gdi

Ultimately the problem of Lost was never properly resolved? But the anime left it equally open-ended so I’m cool with that.

Finally, some overall points 

I removed Keigo and Shunpei entirely from my version of the anime. Because they weren't needed. Keigo I can put back in (because he and Yuuji serve the same narrative purpose), but I don't want Shunpei. He was an original character created purely to betray Ryouko and then die. I have no need for a character like that. He could be Ryouko's assassinator I guess, but I would rather the sniper be a tamashii cameo like Wolf or something. Or nobody at all. Because the sniper as a character is not  important at all. 

I removed all the deliberate food scenes because there was no scope to include them. It is one thing to claim you want to put more emphasis on food, but that should be second to creating an actually viable product.

And with that, this project is finally complete. 

I admit I had high hopes for the anime, and it frustrates me that it turned out the way it did when there were so many simple things they could have done to make it less confusing. 

That said, fixing something that has already been done is much easier than creating something entirely from scratch. And while everything may work on paper, translating that into practice with the actual production is a very different story. Therefore, despite how everything turned out, I still commend the production team for being able to make the anime a reality at all. 

As I've mentioned before, it is not easy to make an engaging story fit in the span of just twelve episodes, let alone one adapted from an epic game featuring time travel and parallel worlds. But I wish they could have tried just a little bit harder, to be just a little bit more risky, to deliver a product we could actually enjoy.

Some of you may like my version of the anime better, some of you may not. A lot of my personal biases definitely showed through, and it was more challenging than I thought translating my ideas into writing. If I’ve confused you about anything, feel free to drop me a message.  

If this post wasn’t long enough for you, you can read more of my analyses on the Shoumetsu Toshi anime below: 

My thoughts on the anime before it aired

My thoughts on the anime after it aired

a deeper analysis of episodes 5 and 6

[professorprophetess]

Lost in Adaptation

Though there have been successful game based movies before, like Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, that was about a fictional game coming to life. It worked for a different set of reasons and they all had to do with the concept of half-real Juul talks about in the book of the same name(Juul 121-162). That begs the question, can real games get proper adaptations into film without having their attempts fall flat. The short history of video game movies does not really suggest that this is usually possible. Yet even then exceptions can exist. For the sake of simplicity I will be sticking to movies produced by the West AKA Hollywood that are not animated that feature real game properties being adapted into films. To get the greatest breadth of the attempts to adapt games into movies I’ll pick one per decade since the very first live action adaptation of a video game came out in 1993. That movie is one that I’ve often chosen to pretend doesn’t exist as it was a very disappointing childhood memory: Super Mario Bros. Next I’l jump ahead to the 00’s with 2008’s Doom. Finally, I’ll look at the recent game based movie Pokémon: Detective Pikachu. Where did the previous two movies from prior two decades go wrong where Pokémon: Detective Pikachu got things right is the question I seek to answer by analyzing these games based films from those decades. Please note, I will not be counting any movies made by Uwe Boll amongst adaptations that got things wrong as I am lead to believe he does not care about how far off track he takes his films and it would appear as if he does it on purpose. Therefore, all films he makes are anomalies and should not be counted.

First, the movie that started it all. Super Mario Brothers was a very big deal in the early ’90’s. As a child of that decade, I know first hand how ascendant Mario and Luigi were. My older siblings and cousins all clamored to play as much Super Mario Brothers games on their NESes as they could. Naturally, a movie based on their beloved game was going to be awe inspiring.Oh, it was but for all the wrong reasons. To be fair to Hollywood, games are hard to adapt into a movie because of that half-real element many games have to them, especially story light platforming games of the NES era. However, that still doesn’t fully explain how they went from a fantasy romp where the hero—an everyman Italian plumber— rescuing the princess from a monster into gritty sci-fi dystopia, extra emphasis on the gritty. The set design, cinematography, plot choices, and direction are all bizarre when one takes a step back to just look at it. For instance, their redesign of the iconic Bowser into a man with weird hair. Because of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film coming out three years prior, the ability to have made a puppet suit for someone to wear to bring Bowser to life in all his dragon-turtle glory existed. Yet, for some reason, instead of respecting the intellectual property, whomever had purchased the rights handed the project off to writers who clearly were so embarrassed to be adapting a video game that they didn’t bother actually adapting it. As a small child, all I’d cared about was that they’d made Yoshi look weird and the goomba’s looked wrong. Now that I’m older, I’m more perplexed by why they’d choose to go so far a field. Their idea had no business being grafted into the Super Mario Brothers’ universe. In fact, had they not been supposed to be adapting Super Mario Brothers, their idea would have been fun for a Sci-fi B-Movie. Instead they just went so far off to the side that it left a shadow that kept Nintendo from allowing anyone to make movies from their IPs. The actors did what they could but a bad script and bad direction cannot be overcome by anyone. (Super Mario Bros)

The shadow wasn’t just cast by Super Mario Bros but other movies kept the belief that video game movies just would not work alive. Thus we get to Doom. I was far too young to play Doom at its initial height of popularity but I knew what it was. So by 2005, after strings of other not-so-good-to-so-campy-its-fun video game adaptations, it was Doom’s turn. The trailers looks promising. Then what happened was a clumsily cobbled together film that used elements of Doom’s barely there plot, as well as plot threads from Alien and other space horror flicks to produce a B-movie that bears next-to-no resemblance to Doomat all. There’s an instance where the movie switches to first person POV like the game, and the human antagonist has become and alien creature called a “pinky” which is a demon from Doom, but ultimately being PG-13 could not deliver on the gore factor needed to fully capture what it was that Doom was: a bloody maze of gore and violence. In this case, it was likely based on the fact it was Doom that they thought adapting it was a good idea, but in their fumbled and neutered execution they made a so-so space horror that almost utterly fails as an adequate adaptation of the game of the same name’s fame it had tried to cash in on. Again, the set design is questionable as it is set largely on a space ship instead of in a maze of tunnels through Hell, and the tame levels of violence are not reflective of the core part of Doom’s appeal at all. The acting was decent enough, but otherwise the story direction and direction in general are suspect. 2005’s Doom failed because it did not try to be the by proxy gore fest that its source material was and without that gore, the classic Doom doesn’t have enough of an identity to fall back upon (Doom).

Pokémon: Detective Pikachu: A film I’d initially thought would also fail. One reason was because I thought the game it was based on was a silly idea when it came out, but also because it had become an almost accepted maxim that all video game based movies would continue to be awful because when it comes to gaming that Half-real effect I mentioned that Juul wrote about makes it hard to fully adapt a game because we, the players are not just passive watchers but active participants with game play, meaning what we do is projected into what happens so even with highly story based games, like a Final Fantasy title, no two people are going to have the exact same gameplay experience (Juul 121-62). Yet, those games have a higher chance of being adaptable.  Those games prior to Pokémon: Detective Pikachu that most consider to be meh-to-passable all tended to be those based on games that tended to have far more of a narrative world to them than something like Doom or Super Mario Bros which were adapted from a story light FPS and story extra-light platformer. In the case of Pokémon: Detective Pikachu versus the series it spun-off from, until Generation V, there really wasn’t much to the story to speak of, and though it’s still not central to the main games, it’s stepped up to keep with what Generation V did. Pokémon: Detective Pikachu is a point and click adventure the is full of story and characterization that is not dependent wholly on the player, making its world and story far more adaptable into film format. A second thing the makers of Pokémon Detective Pikachu got right was they kept the aesthetics of the Pokémon world whenever they were designing the set design. They only deviated as such to make sure that these things looked coherent and real in that sense but it still reflected the worlds the games had presented. The pokémon were also a huge factor. They had to be redesigned to fit with the humans in the movie, but those redesigns were made with respect to how these creatures would look were they actually real creatures, keeping the uncanny valley at bay. Also, in a start contrast to the Super Mario Bros movie, this world was not only vibrant but it was a live and full the the fantastical creatures people expect to see in a world full of pokémon. Which is to say, we expect to see pokémon and they fulfilled that and then some. The plot is nothing extravagant or especially complex, but it was fun, it had genuine moments of heart and it fit in perfectly with the insanity that can happen within the pokémon universe. It felt like it and the games took place in the same world (Pokémon: Detective Pikachu).

Doom and Super Mario Bros on their own are not actually purely awful films. Doom fits right in with a lot of passable sci-fi horror trying to be Alien—and failing— whereas Super Mario Bros is more like an 80’s sci-fi B-flick that is trying to be cool—and also failing. However, the problem is these movies do not exist on their own, they were in fact adaptations of other intellectual properties that their makers did not respect enough to properly adapt to the silver screen. Whereas the Pokémon: Detective Pikachu film had nothing but respect for the game franchise it was representing into a live-action/CGI hybrid. Pokémon Detective Pikachu fits into the Pokémon World. It feels like it belongs there, and these events could be in that same universe. That, ultimately, is where the other two films failed horribly. Both films, so caught up in trying to be appealing to everyone, lost their identities to the point that they no longer fit in the worlds they were supposed to be adapting.

Works Cited

Pokémon: Detective Pikachu. Directed by Rob Letterman. Performances by Ryan Reynolds, Justice Smith, and Kathryn Newton. Legendary Entertainment, 2019.

Doom. Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak. Performances by Karl Urban,Dwayne Johnson, Rosamund Pike. Universal Pictures, 2005.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. Directed by Jake Kasdan, performances by  Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillan, Kevin Hart , and Jack Black, Sony Pictures, 2017.

Juul, Jesper. Half-Real. MIT Press, 2005. pg 121-162.

Super Mario Bros. Directed by Annabel Jankel and Rocky Morton. Performances by  Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper. Allied Filmmakers, 1993.

[fellmother-archive]

{ Plegian Society: Customs and Heritage }

     A majority of these ideas and concepts come from established lore, developer’s notes, and from the societies which Plegia was based off of. Please keep in mind that this is not a utopian society, as no place is in the series, and therefore there might be some potentially grey areas that these headcanons tread on. For those who just want to read specific parts, I have divided the post up into sections which are discussed in this order:

       Dance

       Music

       Clothing

       Family

       Food

       Religion

       Magic

       Language

          DANCE

   Plegia is a kingdom which places a large emphasis on art, music and dance in its culture, and consists of various ceremonies which take place throughout the year, for various reasons. Religion also plays a key factor in this as well, as a majority of the celebrations which are implemented are ones which originated both within the Grimleal cult, and another umbrella religion which shall be discussed later, serving as temporary moments of freedom, where the members could rejoice and forget about their hardships so that they might be distracted from what is going on in the world around them. Ceremonies celebrating the shift from one season to another, to religious rituals, to the first blossoming of a specific desert flower, to occasions celebrating family, or other values within Plegian society are all things which every citizen knows off by heart, and looks forward to. During these events, specific dances and songs are played which do not serve the sole purpose of entertainment—rather, they are in the kingdom’s native tongue, and tell stories that have been passed down verbally from generation to generation. If there is something that can be celebrated in life, they have a specific dance and ceremony for it. While dancing groups were separated by gender, and certain groups could only perform certain dances, both were regarded with as much respect as the other, as it requires a significant amount of training and devotion in order for one to make a respectable career out of dancing within Plegia.     That being said, the traditional style of dance in Plegia is belly dancing, and it is where such a style originated from, though the use of veils is not.

          MUSIC

    Just like dance is highly respected in Plegia, so is music, and to become a musician requires decades of intense training, regardless of what instrument one chooses to learn. The main instruments used in traditional Plegian music are arghuls, castanets, ney, sistrums, mizmars, and other ones within the percussion family. It is written specifically for dancing, and thus has a large emphasis on rhythm, using a variety of strong, syncopated beats which vary from sounding quite light and warm, to harsh and intimidating depending on what the song represents, or why it is being played. Music is performed on the streets, in festivals, or even during rituals and ceremonies. Aside from this, hymns are the next most common form of music in Plegia, and are almost exclusively used for religious purposes, with every member of the faith being required to memorise them by heart.

As Plegia has quite a verbal culture, songs are also used to tell stories, and are the most common way a parent will teach their child about religion, life lessons, or historical events. Almost no legends or myths are written down—they are exclusively passed down through verbal means; only familial records, spells, hexes and religious scriptures are written down, though Plegia does eventually decide to keep a written record of their kingdom’s history as they begin to trade with foreign continents.

          CLOTHING

    When it comes to the style of clothing in Plegia, however, their view differs greatly from that of Ylisse or Valm, as the naked human form is not considered to be provocative, hence why most, if not all, Plegian classes in-game do not cover much skin, regardless of gender. They do not see anything wrong with how they dress, nor consider someone else to be seeking attention by exposing skin—an idea supported by Tharja’s summer scramble conversation with Cordelia. That being said, copious amounts of jewellery are worn by the people not in an attempt to flaunt their wealth, though some do, but rather because most precious metals and jewels are believed to have certain healing or protective properties associated with them. For example, gold is believed to purify the soul, and lessen the feelings associated with trauma, whereas something like topaz is believed to ward off evil spirits. This extends to phases in life such as pregnancy, where women would be given charms or jewellery which have gemstones such as amazonite and carnelian—things which they believe promote fertility, and ease back pain respectively. Gold is also quite readily available in Plegia, and therefore the kingdom is quite wealthy—or, at least, wealthier than Ylisse and Regna Ferox--, as supported in-game through Basilio’s dialogue.

    Colour also means just as much as metals and jewels, and almost all Plegians dress in certain colours deliberately, as there is a great deal of symbolism behind most of them. For example, red would be worn as it is associated with both regeneration and danger, white would represent purity or sacredness, black represents death and the afterlife, therefore life, yellow for indestructibility, and blue for rebirth, with colours such as purple bearing both the meanings of red and blue.

    The wearing of slightly transparent material is also considered to be a sign of wealth in Plegian society, as it is hard to produce, and quite expensive to buy. Thus, only the rich can afford this sort of material, and one can easily discern the sort of background someone comes from by the transparency of their clothing, and how much of it they wear, though wearing gold is also an indicator of wealth as well.

    An example of how these aspects ties together is how a majority of the soldiers in the Plegian army dress—with red, yellow and black clothing, along with golden accessories or gold-plated armour.

          FAMILY

    Family is a core component of Plegian culture, however the term can be used to refer to more than just one’s blood-relatives. One’s entire village in the kingdom is considered to be family in the sense that they expect everyone to help the others in times of strife without asking for something in return—that the generosity and kindness one would show to blood-relatives extends to those who live in the same village. Due to this, there is also an intricate system in place when it comes to marriage, where every third generation, a person is required to wed someone in one of two partner villages—something which is done not only to strengthen relationships between villages, but to also allow their populations time to influence variation. Hence, certain areas of Plegia have people which possess certain characteristics, such as skin colour, eye colour, hair colour, and blood.

    The nuclear family is something which almost every single person in Plegia takes an immense amount of pride in, regardless of their position in society. Lineage is tracked through both parents of a child, regardless of gender, and extremely detailed records of each bloodline are kept within the family’s respective area. A child will often be trained in the field which a parent of the same gender currently follows at as young as five-years-old, though in the case of a single child, they will often be trained in both areas, so that the skills of the previous generation might not be lost. When the parents grow old, the children are expected to care for them—specifically, mothers, as they are often the main carers, though this is not always the case. Thea idea of Plegian families being important to one’s identity is supported by Tharja, who still writes to her family back in Plegia while she serves Ylisse—something which is mentioned in her and Kellam’s support.

    In regards to raising infants, wet-nursing is very frowned down upon unless the child’s mother has passed away, abandoned them, or falls extremely ill. In fact, this mindset carries over to the higher members of Plegian society, and has worked its way into the Grimleal doctrine, commanding that the mother of the vessel is to raise the child without the aid of a wet-nurse. It is believed that if someone has a child, they are solely responsible for raising it; not handing them over to someone else.

          FOOD

    As said by Henry in a conversation with Gaius, Plegia does not have bountiful harvests, and this is due to the harsh environments within Plegia. That being said, this does not mean that they are starving or malnourished—rather, they rely on different crops for food as opposed to Ylisseans, simply because their climate cannot grow the same sort of vegetation. Sugar is obtained solely through trade, and therefore sweet foods are a rarity in Plegia, with the recipes for desserts being ones adapted from those of other kingdom's. Therefore, a majority of their food is savoury, which has encouraged people to look for means to improve the taste of their food, and create a variety of distinct flavours. The use of herbs and spices is extremely common in order to create dishes that can use the same vegetables, fruits or meats, but taste completely different from one another. There are also specific dishes which are made as offerings to gods such as Grima during rituals, as said by Henry, though these often do not taste that nice to humans at all, as they are made specifically to appeal to dragons.

    Due to the fragility of balance in regards to food sources, Plegians have also developed extremely specific and convoluted rules which dictate what can be hunted or harvested, when and where. These times are indicated by natural cues, such as the blossoming of certain desert flowers, the presence of a certain native animal in a specific area, or the growing of another specific plant, and are enforced so that they have a sustainable food source that will last for as many generations as possible. Killing an animal, or picking a plant during a time when it is forbidden is considered to be a punishable crime.

          RELIGION

    The concept of having a board, polytheistic religion present in the fire emblem universe is something which is confirmed by Kaga himself in the developer’s notes for fe4, which talks about there being lower-tier gods, such as the twelve Crusaders, and then higher ones, which are “eternal ones indicated by the primal religions as world builders”. Due to the fact that the Jugdral games take place in the same world as awakening, this lore would also apply to their continent. In fact, Plegia having an overreaching, polytheistic religion is supported by the fact that Grimleal like Aversa, Tharja use the word ‘gods’, there are citizens within Plegia that do not worship Grima, and the concept of ‘fate’, which devout Grimleal like Validar clings to, is always mentioned and talked about as being a separate idea from Grima. There is also the fact that another Grimleal in-game, Chalard, refers to Grima as the ‘god of annihilation’ rather than being one which encompasses every aspect of life and death, implying that there might be other god-like figures which represent something else.

    With all this in mind, Plegia is a theocracy which was originally founded on a broad, polytheistic religion which may or may not have been an amalgamation of various lands’ religions, as it is clear by awakening’s time, the inhabitants of Plegia are mostly like not descended from its indigenous people, and that a sect unknown during Marth’s era, but apparently existed before the fall of Thabes, has become the main faith of the kingdom, meaning that the religion within the land has changed drastically. This umbrella religion would consist of various gods which represent or are in charge of various aspects of the universe, whether they are dragons like Naga or human-like figures such as Yudu(Gran?), and would have been made to include Grima when the Grimleal made their way into whatever Plegia was at the time, and started gaining influence amongst the people, giving the fell dragon the title of the ‘god of annihilation’. This truly makes the Grimleal reflect their status as a cult or sect, as it is a branch off of the main religion which focuses solely on one of the many gods—an occurrence which has actually happened in the same society Plegia was based off of, where cults dedicated to a specific god or family of gods arose and controlled cities. The main faith of the kingdom reflects the cult which the ruler associates themselves with, and due to the fact that we can assume Validar and his ancestors have been ruling for a while, due to the ‘rightful king’ skill, this explains why and how the Grimleal managed to gain such an enormous amount of power in Plegia, and why it is the main religion, despite the fact that a term like ‘gods’ exists there, and that outer villages are unaffected by the cult’s influence. Likewise, this also means that there are other sects in Plegia which worship the other gods within that umbrella religion, though they would be miniscule in number due to the fact that following those faiths would be heavily frowned down upon if it is not the same as the ruler’s own. One belief which carries itself across every sect of this umbrella religion, even the Grimleal, is that dragons are superior to humans in every way possible.

    In regards to the umbrella religion’s view on Grima specifically, the title given to them is self-explanatory—they are the deity whose revival will bring about the end of the world. That being said, however, it most likely does not stop there, as all Grimleal display a distinct lack of fear when it comes to death, which implies that there must be something in it for them after they pass away. Given the fact that Plegia is heavily based off of Ancient Egypt, we can assume that there must be some sort of life after death which is waiting for them—some sort of eternal utopia they will be reborn in, where the negative things in the world simply do not exist. When one then takes into account the fact that Risen exist, and despite their origins, are assumed by every character in awakening to be linked to Grima, it’s highly likely that the belief behind Grima is that they will bring about the end of the world, yes, but so that a new one can be made, and that its followers will be reborn alongside them. In reality, this is just Grima destroying everything, and creating Risen from the corpses of their followers—sacrificed or otherwise— as they please, but that is not something which is known to any of the people in Plegia. This gives the Grimleal a more believable reason to follow Grima, explains their intense devotion to them, and explains why they will gladly follow them, despite giving them names like ‘god of annihilation’, ‘evil dragon’, ‘fell dragon’, ‘breath of despair’, and so on.

          MAGIC

    Both dark and anima magic is taught in favour of other weapons simply due to the history behind it—of a divine dragon, Gotoh, being the one to teach humans how to wield such a thing, even if it partially goes against his original intentions sharing this knowledge in the first place. As dragons are held in such high regard within Plegia, an ability to wield magic of any kind immediately places someone higher on the social hierarchy than someone with little or no talent in the area, hence why a majority of the land’s army is composed of classes which utilise magic. It is also for this reason that most advancements in Plegia are magic-related, as utilising it for practical purposes is greatly encouraged, and is trusted more than other approaches to things. Most magic-wielding people are taught how to create talismans for a variety of purposes, supported in-game by Tharja on various accounts, whether it is for removing or replacing an aspect of someone’s personality, granting good luck, healing a wound, or other reasons. Curses and hexes fall into this category as well, however that is more geared towards finding other practical applications of dark magic, and while most have negative effects on their target, methods to produce ones with beneficial outcomes have been created. For example, why there are ones which will seriously harm or even kill people, ones to cure minor sicknesses, swap bodies, communicate with the dead, turn the caster invisible, evoke happiness, reflect curses back onto the curser, and alter memories have also been made. There is a catch, however, and it is mentioned by Tharja in her supports with Gregor—a curse cannot stick unless the curser knows the other person’s true name. Due to this, most Plegians will either introduce themselves with a fake name, or will only give their first—the full name of someone is almost never known by anyone other than family members, and someone speaking it another is considered to be the greatest expression of trust. This is why, despite wiping her memories completely, Validar gives Aversa a new name, and kills everyone who knew her—so that even if someone figured out what he did, no-one would ever be able to reverse the curse or reflect it back onto him, as not a single soul would know her true name.

    There are also rituals and traditions one has to adhere to when training someone in magic, as they act like a rite of passage to the person learning them. One such tradition is mentioned in the game by Henry when he attempts to teach Ricken dark magic—where the mentor shares their energy with their protégé by taking their hands in their own, though this applies to all kinds of magic; not just dark. Due to the significance behind this, and the idea behind sharing power with another person, this is also a gesture that has gradually started being applied to many other events in life—such as a couple during the wedding ceremony as they recite their vows, which is a mandatory part of the event, a family or lover bidding a loved one farewell before they leave for war, as a wordless way of saying ‘I love you’, or as a means of wishing someone good luck. This is also where the concept of bonds in Plegian culture originates from, as it is believed that this gesture creates an unbreakable connection between two people. This is why parents and children, teachers and students, or couples who all specialise in wielding magic are often of the exact same power, or only differ slightly.

    As to why dark magic is so closely related to the Grimleal cult, that is simply because it is brings about a sort of energy and power which closely relates to death and despair, which Grima represents, thus it is believed to be the only way, other than worship, to be close to that specific god.

          LANGUAGE

    Due to the size of Plegia, the varied backgrounds of those who formed the realm, and the number of sects born from the umbrella religion, the kingdom has one language, but a multitude of dialects—so much that someone from the south would not be able to understand anything aside from a few words when in the north, and vice-versa. The first-formed language of the kingdom is used in Plegia’s capital, and at the palace, being the trade language of the kingdom, and thus a common tongue for people regardless of their birthplace within the realm to use for communication. Still, a majority of dialects are very smooth and melodious, however are spoken at incredibly fast paces, making it hard for a non-native speaker to understand straight off the bat. While it is a primarily syllable-timed language, the dialects used in the far south, especially on the islands, are slightly more stress-timed, while the ones in the north are slightly more mora-timed, and it is for this reason why someone from one part of the kingdom will find it incredibly hard to understand someone from another, aside from the differences in words and pronunciation.

That being said, only those near the palace, or villages which act as trade ports for their overseas trading partners, know the language which Ylisseans and Valmese people primarily use.

[yumeka36]

Frozen and the lost art of critical examination

I don’t like to write posts like this but there are some things better vented than kept inside. Olaf’s Frozen Adventure has been getting a lot of flak for being shown in theaters before Coco, with people claiming that “it’s too long” and “Disney just did that because they didn’t think Coco would make enough money.” Now, I’m totally open to criticism, whether it’s for works I like or works I dislike. But the majority of this flak is NOT criticism – people aren’t talking about the actual merit and content of OFA; they’re judging it for completely superficial reasons, like its running time and the fact that it was shown in theaters with another movie. One gem of a poster even likened OFA preceding Coco as “white supremacy” – it’s absolutely ludicrous to bring up such a legitimately terrible social issue to describe the fact that one animated work advocating love and family bonds is being shown in theaters before another animated work advocating love and family bonds. But I’ve long since stopped being shocked by people’s stupidity…so I digress.

What I’m trying to bring out is that many of these claims have nothing to do with the substance of OFA itself. It’s not critical examination – they’re not examining things like the story elements and writing (like actual critics have to do to be taken seriously) – it’s quick, easy bashing and hating on a work and, whether intended to or not, its fans (because when you put tags for that work in your posts it’s the fans who are going to see them). They don’t have to take the time to actually think about OFA as a work in itself and any semblance of good it has to offer – that would be too much trouble, it’s just easier to spout out quick, spur-of-the-moment quips of hate to like-minded people instead of being open-minded and trying to understand why this work does or doesn’t deserve this treatment, again, within the work itself, not outside sources like whether it was shown in theaters or not.

Again, I’m totally open to criticism of all forms of media. But what I’m not open to is hate and bashing without precedence. And in my 4 years of being a Frozen fan, much of the hate I’ve seen is just that (since many people bashing on OFA likely feel the same way about Frozen in general). Common reasons they give are “I’m sick of my daughter/niece/sister/cousin or whoever singing ‘Let It Go’ all the time” or “I’m sick of seeing it promoted all over Disney Parks” or “That one lady in Japan divorced her husband because he didn’t like it!” – again, superficial reasons that are shutting out legitimate examination of the movie itself. Just because you’re sick of hearing “Let It Go” isn’t any sort of evidence that it’s not a good movie. Just because Disney goes overboard with Frozen at their parks doesn’t equate to it being a bad movie (in fact, from a neutral perspective, both of these things would point to it being a good movie). Petty reasons like this should not be enough for you to deem it as “bad” without actually examining the movie itself. But in a world where so much media is vying for our attention all the time, the value of taking time to critically examine the ones we consume is a dying art. It’s so much easier to just dismiss things that don’t immediately resonate with us as “bad” and continue to prop up that sentiment with whatever easily digestible reason we come across (“it’s too long!” “it’s too heavily marketed!”)

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel this way. Heck, as a Frozen fan even I feel that Disney gives the movie a bit too much attention in some of their outlets. You can have any reason you want for not liking something and the majority of people don’t feel the need to think critically about the shows/movies they watch as it’s just “entertainment” to them, which is totally fine. You definitely don’t have to think critically about everything you consume. BUT! If you’re going to go around hating it and acting like it’s an accepted fact that this work is somehow objectively bad, then you should have concrete reasons for it – why this plot element doesn’t work, why you couldn’t sympathize with this character, etc., with examples from the work in questions to back up your claim.

I think any neutral person who watches OFA would simply see a 20 minutes special with a heartwarming story about family love and holiday traditions, amid animation and music that obviously has effort put into it. Or at the very least it’s a cute, fun special for the kids to enjoy. You shouldn’t expect it to have the same quality as a full length film, and judging it as such isn’t fair. And don’t give me the bullshit reason that OFA only exists to make more money. The goal of ALL Disney works is to make money – how do you think they’re one of the richest corporations in the world? And Frozen is one of their most profitable properties so it makes perfect sense from a business perspective to create more for the franchise. But this does NOT mean what they create can’t be of substance and quality. That’s kind of Disney’s whole shtick – making extremely marketable material that’s still (usually) of utmost quality, which is why people keep coming back to them. My definition of an inherently “bad” work is one that’s advocating something immoral or has absolutely nothing to contribute to the realm of human thought and feelings (I don’t think any of Disney’s animated works fall into that category). I’m not saying OFA is a masterpiece or anything – it’s just a cute, harmless story that had some love and effort put into it in the same vein as Frozen Fever, Tangled Ever After, and other Disney shorts. They’re not meant to be viewed on the same level as full length feature films, just supplements to give fans an extra treat. But again, this is not how the haters think. They have a one track-mind of “Frozen is more popular than [insert name of Disney movie I like], or whatever frivolous reason I mentioned before, therefore Frozen is bad, therefore OFA is bad.” It’s a childish, close-minded resentment I’m sick of.

I wrote critically for years on my anime blog and there were plenty of anime I reviewed that I didn’t like. But I would always think about why I felt this way, give reasons for it, cite examples from the anime itself and my own knowledge/experience. I’d get out my feelings and that would be it. I would never think of making bashing posts on social media advocating this work as bad to its fans without giving legitimate reasons. Animated works are made to give us happiness and evoke creativity, and I would never want to make someone feel bad for liking one that I personally didn’t like.

It’s not uncommon for a backlash to occur against popular franchise like Frozen. I actually wrote a post on my anime blog about that subject already and I still stand by what I said there, something that haters should consider: people will ALWAYS obsess over things, so instead of being hateful that something you don’t like is getting attention, be glad that the thing in question isn’t genuinely bad in the big scheme of things. In Frozen’s case, be glad that what people are obsessing over is a movie that’s advocating good moral messages of familial love and one that awakened a love of music in children (and adults!) all over the world. If something resonates with so many people, there’s usually something good to it even if it’s not your cup of tea, so is it really worthwhile to go around spewing hate for something that’s meant to give pleasure and inspiration to kids and kids at heart?

tl;dr: there’s nothing wrong with having personal reasons for not liking something, but if you’re gonna go around parading it as some kind of objectively bad work deserving of hate, you should back up your claim with actual examples and thought-out criticism from the work itself. But honestly, at the end of the day, is it really a good thing to bash on a work that’s just meant to be a cute little treat for fans of the franchise. There’s so much in this world that robs us of happiness, is it worth the effort to make someone feel bad for liking an animated work? I’d say that passion is better spent on truly bad world issues that affect people’s lives and not because a cartoon others like but you don’t like happens to exist.

*Crossposted from my main blog, Yume Dimension*

[nementomory]

Post 2 - Discussion of Lecture [Disinformation, Fake News and Surveillance] - 800 words

Yang Ni 1910590

CO5521 Making Web Cultures

Dr Ozge Ozduzen

Week 4: Disinformation, Fake News and Surveillance

In this article, I will focus on the development of fake news in the era of social media and the reasons behind it.

I think this issue is essential because my internship experience has brought me much inspiration. In the past two years, I went to China Central Television and Xinhua News Agency to practice for several months. What impressed me most was that journalists attached great importance to the authenticity of the news. When I write articles and make videos and pictures, my teacher always reminds me repeatedly to check the source of online materials and the authenticity of interviewees' information. So, in my opinion, authenticity is the life of news. However, with the development of social media, significant changes have taken place in the production and dissemination of news information, and the authenticity of news has also been significantly challenged.

According to Naja Bentzen (2017), Collins Dictionary chooses "fake news" as its annual word in 2017. This indicates that fake news has become an urgent social problem. After analyzing some related literature, I think there are three reasons for the prevalence of fake news in the era of social media.

The first is the transformation of information sources. In the era of mass communication, the mainstream media, relying on its resources and professional advantages, occupies the "commanding height" of social information communication activities. It is not only the earliest source of news information but also the most critical media for news information diffusion and the audience receiving information. However, social media has subverted the monopoly of traditional media on the right of news discourse, breaking its top-down communication mode through diversification (Chao-Chen, 2013, p.184). As mentioned in the lecture, everyone is the disseminator and consumer of information. In this case, the open communication space of social media gives birth to the public's casual and imprudent attitude towards information dissemination. Moreover, the "forwarding" of news is more likely to weaken the stability of news fact transmission and increase the difficulty of tracking the source and original appearance of information.

The second is the dissolution of official authority. In news events, because of the complete rules and regulations of handling news, the official media or authoritative institutions have weak timeliness in news reports, so their dominant advantage in the context of social media is significantly weakened. At the same time, although social media has weakened the traditional sense of elitism, opinion leaders in various fields still exist. As in the past, they still use their sources of information or professional advantages to provide information and influence the general public (Bergström and Jervelycke Belfrage, 2018, p.594). The difference is that the role of opinion leaders in the process of information dissemination in the era of social media is more prominent than in the past. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the influence of objective facts on public opinion is better than that of emotion and personal belief (Hendricks and Vestergaard, 2018, p.103). Therefore, in the process of spreading fake news, the spiral of silence will enlarge the dominant point of view (Soffer and Gordoni, 2017，p.389).

This makes the opinion leader's personal feelings directly guide the group's opinion to incline to one end, and finally presents an avalanche of public social opinion. This depends not only on the opinion leaders' affinity and appeal but also on the strong interaction of social media platforms.

The last is the absence of heteronomy. In the era of social media, the government's response mechanism to social media is not perfect, so its role in the management and control of public opinion and news is relatively weak. In China, people only enjoy limited freedom of speech. When dealing with a public crisis or sensitive news events, some government departments will block the news and deprive the public of the right to know. However, such incidents are closely related to the public interest, so it is not very easy to avoid the public's concern and excavation (Baylor, 1996, p.248). In this case, some social media will spread information and news from their perspective. Because the government departments choose silence at this time, and some members of the public are difficult to keep objective and rational when disseminating information, there will be a mixed situation of authentic news and fake news.

To sum up, these reasons for fake news in the era of social media is that the lecture inspired me.

Bibliography:

Baylor, T. (1996). Media framing of movement protest: The case of American Indian protest. The Social Science Journal, 33(3), pp.241–255.

Bentzen, N. (2017). Disinformation, ‘Fake News’ And The EU’s Response. [online] European Parliamentary Research Service Blog. Available at: https://epthinktank.eu/2017/11/20/disinformation-fake-news-and-the-eus-response/.

Bergström, A. and Jervelycke Belfrage, M. (2018). News in Social Media. Digital Journalism, 6(5), pp.583–598.

Chao-Chen, L. (2013). Convergence of new and old media: new media representation in traditional news. Chinese Journal of Communication, 6(2), pp.183–201.

Hendricks, V.F. and Vestergaard, M. (2018). Reality Lost: Markets of Attention, Misinformation and Manipulation. Springer, Cham.

Soffer, O. and Gordoni, G. (2017). Opinion expression via user comments on news websites: analysis through the perspective of the spiral of silence. Information, Communication & Society, 21(3), pp.388–403.

‌

[on-the-wings-of-hope-prose-en]

Bookkeeping

In this most significant for him day Artem Sergeyevich was, as they say, out of sorts. As a matter of fact, his spirit, which has grown extremely tired from a fifty-years life, was a flyer of sorts, soaring over a silently lying in a bed body, performing such sorts of air pirouettes, which would surely give a birth to envy in hearts of even the best of human stuntmen and acrobats. The body in its turn didn’t show even the slightest signs of what is usually considered to be the only one given to a human life. And how hard did the spirit of Artem Sergeyevich try to bring it back to life! He even tried both slaps in a face and uppercuts – yet no to avail.

“What, did I really died?” the spirit, floating over a body, was thinking to himself. “Silently, touching and warning in advance no one, died in a dream? And for what’s sake was all that, I would like to know? And where should I, as a matter of fact, go on now?”

Whatever you may say, but hard is the realization that you are still alive and standing nearby an already breathless corpse, and not every Artem Sergeyevich can easily bear with it. Having performed some more dozens of somersaults and finally convinced himself, that he is indeed a little bit off himself – at least habitual to himself – the spirit of Artem Sergeyevich silently sat down on the edge of a bed near his last vessel and got lost in thoughts.

“What did I live for – and for whose sake did I die? What was the meaning of this, so suddenly ended life, if it turned out all of a sudden that it was not the only one? What is life and why do we need death, eventually? Where have I got and what do I do now?” these and a great number of similar to these questions soared in a consciousness of incorporeal Artem Sergeyevich, and the lack of clear answers to them forced his spirit to become more and more out of sorts.

He was distracted from these sad afterlife reflections by someone’s soft coughing behind his back. From a surprise, the spirit of Artem Sergeyevich made yet another somersault, turning towards a source of the sound. Directly in front of him a beautifully looking – perhaps even to a degree of how Artem Sergeyevich thought about himself some thirty corporal years ago – a young man with snow-white wings was standing.

“Ghm!” perplexedly said Artem Sergeyevich.

“And kind spirit to you as well!” the young man said in reply.

“Who are you, actually, and what’s your name? And why do you creep towards me to silently?”

“You can call me as the Guide of the Other World”, the young winged man replied kindly. “I was sent here to help you to orient in these, so to say, unusual for your circumstances, and further to accompany you through all necessary instances.”

“Indeed! Circumstances are truly unusual,” agreed Artem Sergeyevich. “I have died, damn it! And I had thought that I would live forever! It’s absolutely unusual!”

“In the highest, that is, in spiritual degree,” smiled the Guide. “Not every day we are given a privilege do die, isn’t it? Though some people began to consider that they have been dying since own birth… So, are you prepared to move further?”

“And where shall we go, I would like to know?” Artem Sergeyevich interrogatively raised his eyebrows. “Don’t I need to say a final goodbye to my relatives? I, by the way, had two children and a wife in this former world. It’s very unlikely that they will rejoice of hearing about my sudden death.”

“I am afraid, Artem Sergeyevich, that they won’t be able to see or hear you any longer. If only through dreams – but you will have to ask for a special permission in the Department of Dreams in that case, and at present times it’s seldom given to, so to speak, temporarily and untimely resting in peace ones. Therefore, we should move forward together, there is no other way. Especially when control periods for passing through necessary social instances are strictly limited. So, are you ready to go with me?”

“Well, if I have no other options left…” the spirit of Artem Sergeyevich made a helpless gesture with its translucent hands.

“You had a broadest free choice when you have lived in so habitual to your physical world, Artem Sergeyevich. And now we must accurately follow well-established procedures.”

Having that said, the Angel, who has called himself as the Guide, raised own covered with feathers hand, drawing a spiral in the air. With each newly made pass of his hands, this spiral was becoming brighter and more visible and finally turned into a gracefully looking sparkling tunnel.

“Transition between the worlds,” explained the Guide. “Some people see it by themselves when they leave own bodies. Let’s go,” he continued, having taken Artem Sergeyevich by hand.

Two figures – one of a casting golden light Angel and a gray-brown figure of Artem Sergeyevich’s spirit – bravely stepped into the tunnel. At first, something pinched in the eyes of Artem Sergeyevich, then started to sparkle, then sparkles began falling down, his head started spinning and from what he has seen somewhere inside these tunnel labyrinths he finally lost his consciousness…

***

“Scatty one you’ve got this time. He even didn’t manage to pass through circles on his own.”

“Few are capable of doing that now. Therefore, they send us more and more often for them, you know that well.”

“And I should guide a suicide spirit tomorrow, his term of near-earth tortures has just come to an end, and term for spiritual pain has just started.”

“That’s not a big deal. I was once given a mission to guide a couple, who for the sake of eternal love, as our opponents inspired them, jumped together into the industrial tank, filled with sulfuric acid. You’d better not see, how their souls looked like when their term of Transition has finally come…”

“Cranky ones.”

“Well, they are not the first, and surely not the last.”

“Looks like your ward got recovered at last. His consciousness resonates from a surprise on awakening, I can feel it even from here.”

“Yes, precisely. Guide him to estimators. Man, he will be surprised.”

“Well, till our next meeting in the sky, brothers.”

“So long.”

With these thoughts, by means of which he communicated with his colleagues from department and hierarchy, a young white-winged man went with a fast pace to Artem Sergeyevich, who was lying on a lawn’s grass of emerald color.

“It’s good to see that you have finally regained consciousness,” he answered with a smile to a spirit of Artem Sergeyevich, which was drowsily looking around. “I had to lull you somewhere in the middle of our journey, because due to the nature of your earth affairs the route, that we were obliged to take, as well as inhabitants of these other-worldly tracks were not the most pleasant ones,” he added quietly.

“I… what… where… oh!” barely managed to mutter our hero.

“You are in a special place now, on fields of restoration and healing. But we need to continue our journey because we are already somewhat out of a required time schedule. By the way, while you were resting, I have already managed to bring all necessary informational materials to the department of returned souls, including your family tree, data on your lifetime affairs, habits and hobbies, merits and demerits. Therefore, at present time we, my dear fellow traveler, need to proceed to estimators in bookkeeping department, and after that – vast waiting halls will wait for you for a whole million of earth years. As writers of your world said – ‘One million of years before doomsday’… or the end of darkness. It depends on your final score, calculated by estimators in the bookkeeping department.”

“What sort of… bookkeeping department? Is that a business of… sorts? Sales of tunnel attractions or souls?” muttered half-asleep Artem Sergeyevich.

“Oh, by no means,” the Guide burst out laughing, “no sales at all! Our accountants neither buy nor sell human souls, don’t you worry. They are engaged in the estimation of their quality because only qualitative souls will be taken into account. Well, and how qualitative is your soul by our standards, you will learn soon enough. I am, by the way, will be interested in knowing that as well,” the Guide smiled politely.

With these words being said, he took a soul of Artem Sergeyevich on his hands, made a jump from the ground and soared up into celestial heights.

***

“Good afternoon, Rael,” smiled the young white-winged girl in a celestial-blue dress. “Newcomer?”

“And in a first-person,” answered the Guide, lowering Artem Sergeyevich on a habitual to him soil, which had a shape of shining in bluish shade floor. “Registration department must have already sent you his data, check incoming messages. You calculate and estimate him now, and I will be waiting in a corridor, all right?”

“Certainly,” smiled the estimator, who obviously liked Rael. “So kind of you to carry him by yourself. People have become noticeably weaker recently. Unlike the times when the leader Jesus personally descended into their world…”

“By the way, I wanted to ask that a long ago, – does your program takes it into account? Well, weakening of human spirit?”

“It does,” Angelina smiled. “But that’s a minus, as you certainly understand.”

“I do…” Rael answered lingeringly. “Well, I am waiting in a corridor there. Come in, Artem Sergeyevich, take a sit.”

“Take a seat!” repeated the accountant and moved up a chair to Artem Sergeyevich, who unwillingly sat down. “So, let’s take a look…”

Within ten minutes the girl diligently typed something on the input device of her visor, and then uttered:

“It’s a real pity, Artem Sergeyevich, but it turns out that your balance score is negative. Minus one hundred fifty absolute points. And we, unfortunately, have no plans to take souls with negative balances on a balance of the new world.”

“What does it mean – negative? What kind of calculations are these? What sort of absolute points?! Madhouse of sorts!” Artem Sergeyevich’s spirit was indignant.

“You see, in calculations of quality of human souls we use absolute points of Light. Unlike the conventional financial points, which are being used in your physical world and have blinded so many souls of their adherents, we use the evolutionary measure that is not subject to time. Here, I will show you,” and with these words, the girl took a long printed-out sheet and gave it to Artem Sergeyevich. “Here, for example, your care for your family, – its worth was estimated to be equal to a hundred forty-five absolute points. It’s an average result because you have been very little engaged into education and upbringing of your children, having shifted these duties to your wife, and devoting the most part of your time to building a career. By the way, summed total results of your labor feats turned out to be equal to fifteen absolute points, – that’s a very small amount, because the social usefulness of your work, associated with the deception of people, wasn’t high at all, and in this job you didn’t show much diligence. And for the treason of your wife – performed twice, it worth noticing – you get minus forty-seven absolute points…”

“Wait a moment, wait a moment!” cried Artem Sergeyevich. “Why is it only fifteen points?! I am a Holy Father, believer, I turned people into your belief, led them to the Christ! What, have you decided to mock your loyal servants?!”

“Wait a moment, wait a moment!” laughed the accountant. “Why do you persist in calling yourself a saint? Saints by our criteria are those souls, whose balance exceeds ten thousand absolute points. And regarding the believer… you see, but due to those events, which have taken place many centuries after our Jesus arrival into your world, and your attitude towards him, we ceased to use that concept in our calculations. It was fair for the first Christians, but nowadays every idler is ready to beat breast and call himself a believer – and we don’t even speak of how many souls have been tortured, exhausted and corporally killed for the sake of that ‘belief’, and how many self-deceptions were made due to illusions of its presence.

Therefore, we no longer use your pseudo-belief in our calculations, we use the concept of ‘soul dignity’. Tell me, Artem Sergeyevich, is it worthy in your opinion to urge to kill gentiles?”

“I did no such things!” muttered our not-really-a-hero with rage.

“And how many times did you call your belief as the best ever existed, do you remember? And how did you publicly derided those, whom you called as atheists on your sermons, have you forgotten? And how proud you were of the power of your faith and your readiness to kill anyone to keep it strong, should I remind you? Why don’t you believe us now, when we are telling you about you? And your wish to a pedestrian, I quote – ‘Where the hell are you going? Rest in peace, walking creature!’ – which you have made exactly a day before parting with your body, when you were rushing inside your BMW through city streets and have nearly brought him down, costed you, for example, minus five absolute points. Here, you can check it all by yourself. Everything is measured correctly.”

“Why do prayers for souls of our parishioners have a negative value, aye?” Artem Sergeyevich continued to be angry while reading an estimation sheet, issued to him.

“Because you demanded from our Supreme Commander, whom you traditionally call as the God, to add a certain amount of absolute points of Light to these souls, which in most cases don’t deserve that at all – and you seek to get a reward for similar generosity by yourself in the form of those conventional financial points. This also concerns your prayers based on schedule instead of call of your soul – they are estimated to have a small, yet negative value.”

“Well, you know!” Artem Sergeyevich got furious, “you will condemn each and every one that way! Even saints!”

“No, saints are the best judges for themselves, even during their lifetime.”

“And what is there… five and a half thousands of absolute points?!” Artem Sergeyevich cried out from surprise, having seen with a corner of his eyes one of the lines in the estimation sheet of another soul, that was lying on a table.

“Rescue of a soul,” Angelina answered with a smile. “Absolutely sincere and real. Plus, five hundred absolute points for the rescue of a cat, whom this woman cured, having sold out a part of own hand-painted pictures for these purposes. Her art and creativity, which has inspired several other men to develop own talents, was estimated to be worth two and a half thousands of points. Our scales are extremely accurate, Artem Sergeyevich, have no doubt of it.”

“Go to hell with these scales-mails-miracles!” Artem Sergeyevich exclaimed in a fit of temper. “Where do I sign here? I sign here and go to my rest place for a million of years! I deserved that!”

“Wait a moment!” suddenly exclaimed the heavenly accountant. “Our system shows a change in your estimated data. The matter is that… your wife… she learned about your double betrayal during your lifetime, but… just at this moment there, on the Earth… she forgave you and asked us to help you in any way possible. Now your balance is… let me see… now you have zero points, Artem Sergeyevich. Well… probably, I should congratulate you with that. Now you have a chance, whether you deserve it or not, – she added quietly.”

***

“What a bitch,” thought Artem Sergeyevich to himself while being led by his Angel-Guide to the halls for a very long awaiting of the Court. “Though by the end of my life, but she had finally made something worthy. I beat her in youth for a reason, not for nothing!”

“Zero… a total zero,” thought the angelic Guide, while looking through the estimation sheet, issued to his ward.

“Saint…” thought Angelina with a smile, watching how the balance of soul of an artist and Artem Sergeyevich’s wife, who has saved his soul this day, confidently overpasses the mark of ten thousand of absolutely unconditional points.

11.08.2017

[melvinfellerstuff]

Melvin Feller MA Describes Necessary Life Skills

Melvin Feller MA Describes Necessary Life Skills

Melvin Feller is known as “The Entrepreneur’s Mentor” because Melvin walks his talk. Melvin Feller has been there and done that and more importantly, Melvin Feller knows how to transfer the skill set for success. This is main reason that he has been the sought after coach to hundreds of small business owners, entrepreneurs, Realtors, Real estate investors and service professional internationally. Melvin Feller’s main talent is to show you how the step by step process to build and enjoy a successful 6-figure plus business while having a balanced life. Melvin Feller maintains an office in Texas. Melvin Feller is currently pursuing another graduate degree as an MBA.

There are times that you feel driven and motivated, and sometimes you just feel both totally down and like a loser. There are also times when you accomplish amazing things and achieve your goals. And then there are times when you hit roadblocks and face challenges and are unsure if you are even on the right path at all.

Just like what Steve Jobs said in his commencement speech at Stanford, “Sometimes life’s going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.” It is great to understand that life is a series of seasons. You can experience the best the world has to offer in that one moment, and at next, the worst of life can hit you. However, please understand that it is not what you go through that defines you; it is how you deal with the issues.

Remember, it is your choice and your decision that determine your life. It is what you do that makes you, and you are the only one. Therefore, it is imperative that you choose to do the right thing, and that you live a remarkable and meaningful life.

Here are a few suggestions of what you can do when life gets hard.

Understand that things will change

One of the most important keys is to understand that things will never stay the same forever. If you are facing some tough times right now, do not worry because things will never remain the same. After all, It can never rain forever, right? Once the rain is over, the sun will come out and shine. Just endure the challenges, learn from them, and the good times will eventually come.

Study history and you will understand that things will change over time. In addition, look at the stock market, it can never continue to rise, nor can it fall and remain low all the time. It will rebound when the time is right. The same goes for your life. Things may not stay the same for the long-term. However, when you are facing difficult times, understand that they are not here to stay as well.

Change is necessary

Yes, difficult times, challenges, setbacks, failures, and defeats are a necessary process in life. Regardless of whom you are or what you want to accomplish in life, these are common learning experiences that you must pass through. It is a normal occurrence of life.

Take it as a challenge, as a test from God, and as a stepping-stone to your success. How do you think Thomas Edison was able to discover the filament to make the light bulb works? Well, it was through failures. Without failures, there will never be successes. Failures, defeats, and challenges are what contributes to success and achievement. You learn the most when you fail.

In fact, people have learned, achieved, and evolved much more from their failures than their successes. Look at extraordinary people like Elon Musk, Michael Jordan, and Steve Jobs, etc., they were able to achieve outstanding results in life because they went through tough times and learned from their experiences.

Have a positive outlook

This is easier said than done. However, the saying, “Every cloud has a silver lining” is true. You cannot see the positive in the situation because you have not found it yet. Napoleon Hill, the best-selling author of Think and Grow Rich once said, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”

Richard Branson discovered the idea to start an airline because he became stranded in an airport due to his flight being canceled. He was frustrated with the problem, but yet he chose to look from the positive side and he chartered a plane.

Steve Jobs said that dropping out from his college was one of the best things in his life because he had to sit in a class that did not interest him, the same one in which he managed to learn calligraphy of which the Mac uses today.

So look at the problem from a positive point of view and welcome frustration as a learning experience. You know that every problem and difficulty contains an opportunity to learn and grow. Therefore, just face it with courage and a smile.

No such thing as failure, only lessons

From what you have just learned, there are no failures, only lessons to learn. Even if you cannot find the opportunity hidden within the problem, it is all right as long as you treat the failure as a source of feedback and then fail forward.

The problem is that most people choose to look at failure as a defeat rather than a source of feedback and do not learn from it. It does not matter how many times you fall as long as you choose to get up and learn the lesson.

If you are a parent, are you going to stop your baby from trying to walk because she falls? Not at all, in fact, you will encourage her to walk and even teach her the proper way. Therefore, remember the same principle in your life as an adult to learn from your failures.

Focus on what you can control

Sometimes, situations are beyond our control and no matter what we do, we cannot change a thing. Moreover, if you cannot change the situation, why worry? The if you can change it, then just do it.

I know that this is easier said than done, but it is a fact that every one of us must accept. We need to learn to focus on only what we can control. Many times, when a problem occurs, people focus on the problem and are trying to blame or find an excuse to get away from the problem. Do not do this. Instead, choose to focus on the solution.

When you fail to achieve your goal or your target, just learn from the situation and focus on what you can do right now. Stop spending time thinking about the problem, the defeat, or trying to find out whom to blame. Always work on the solution.

God has a better plan for you

Sometimes when life gets hard, you have to realize that God has a better plan for you. I am not saying that you should give up or quit at all, but rather, I am saying that you need to choose to believe that God has something better for you in store. Maybe God wants you to learn something that will change your life for the better forever. Alternatively, maybe God is testing your determination to see if it is something that you truly want. On the other hand, perhaps God is trying to show you another path to achieve something with greater returns. You just need to believe that something better is coming.

When you believe that something better is on the way, you will feel excited and thrilled rather than feeling worried and frustrated. In addition, when you feel good, you will often find the right path or the solution to your problems.

Reignite your motivation

Another important thing that must be done when you are facing hard times in life is to reignite your motivation. While it is true that you cannot solely depend on motivation because it comes and it goes, but sometimes, you need it to go through tough times.

What you can do is to revisit your purpose. Ask yourself why do you do what you do and always remind yourself of your purpose in life. More importantly, you can practice visualization and affirmation to keep yourself driven and to stay on track. Listen to motivational songs and read inspirational materials.

When your level of motivation is high, you will ask better questions even during tough times, such as instead of asking “Why me”, you will begin to say, “Try me”.

Third-party perspective

It will be difficult when you are feeling stuck and looking at your situation from your own point of view which may not help much. Therefore, step out and try to think from a third-person perspective. Look at the situation from another person’s point of view and see if you can find any angle of attack or any other solutions to your challenges.

When you are lost in the jungle, one of the methods to find your direction is to get to a higher ground and look at the place from a bird-eye view. This same strategy should be applied to your life. When you are, feeling lost or facing difficult times in life, step outside of the mess, and then look at the situation from a bigger perspective.

You have to free your mind and think from a different angle. Trying to figure out a way to get out of the labyrinth. However, when you look from the outside, things are much clearer.

Worst-case scenario

Yes, ask yourself what is the worst-case scenario whenever there are hard times. What is the worst that can happen? The reason being you will often find that the worst case is nowhere as bad as you imagined. Once you understand that things are not as bad as you imagined, you will feel calmer and more at peace. This is at the point when you can become creative and make better decisions.

People are often feeling that life is too hard because they are too obsessed with the fears that they imagined in their head, which most likely are not going to happen anyway. Remember, life is hard because many times you are being too rigid or are trying to hold on to something too tightly. It is your attitude of how you look at the situation that determines if your life is going to be hard or easy.

When you understand that the worst is not as bad, and you can still survive regardless of whatever happens, you will feel much better.

Express gratitude

To put it simply, being grateful means showing your appreciation for everything in your life. You need to appreciate whatever you currently have and this act makes you feel good and at peace. Many studies have been conducted on this subject, and they found that when you express gratitude it is one of the keys to living a good life. When you appreciate what you have, you feel wealthy with what you have. When you do not appreciate what you have in life, you feel like you are living in poverty and everything is not enough no matter how much you actually do have.

When life gets hard, write down the things that you are grateful for in life. You can even express your appreciation by calling someone you are grateful for and telling them about it. After doing this, you will discover that the challenges and difficulties you face will become less significant especially when they are compared to everything great that you have in your life right now.

You are not alone

Realize that you are not alone in this world. If you are having tough times with your finances right now, notice that there are others, who are battling even tougher situations than you are. No matter what you go through in life, there is always someone going through the same thing or even worse things than what you are facing currently. Therefore, you are not alone. Because of this, it is not the end of the world. When you feel like a failure, think of someone who has gone through an even more difficult situation than you and those who were able to bounce back even stronger.

A great example for this is the motivational speaker, Les Brown. He has been labeled as “education mentally retarded” since young and has gone through many tough times on his journey to success. He has slept and bathed in his office, before he was rejected and had failed several times, and he bought a house for his mother, but it had to go to foreclosure due to his financial constraints.

As you can see, many people out there have gone through a life that is hard as well. However, these people never give up and they continue moving forward despite going against all the odds. Therefore, learn and become inspired by these extraordinary people.

Share your story

Whenever life gets hard, find someone and share your story. However, be selective and only share your story with someone who will support you and not someone who tries to drag you down. Everyone needs someone by their side from time to time. Nobody can survive alone in this world. This is especially true when you are facing some challenging times and you need the encouragement from others.

You can choose to share your stories with people you know like your friends and family, and with strangers in forums or groups. One very important key to remember is that not everyone will understand your situation and you should not listen to what everyone has to say, especially advice from strangers. Only choose to listen to positive and constructive advice. Otherwise, just ignore this method and choose to do something else.

Focus and thoughts

Whenever you feel like everything is coming down around you, choose to change your focus your thoughts. There is no point to stay at the same stressed and frustrated state. Instead, to choose to do something else that will change your focus instead.

For example, you can play games, go for sports, do something that you like, follow your hobby, jog, swim, read a book, go shopping, watch a movie, and so forth. Whatever you do, you want to switch your focus and take your thoughts away from the situation so that your mind can have time to relax and think it through with your subconscious mind.

After you return to solve the problem, you can now think clearer and there is a higher chance that the solution will come to you from the middle of nowhere.

Stop and reflect

Getting yourself out of a slump is a conscious effort, and this is why you need to stop and reflect on what has happened to you thus far in life. However, if you continue to live life as it is, you will continue to stay at the same point without going any further.

It is when you stop, reflect, and make the necessary changes; you will be able to make sure that you are traveling in the right direction, heading to your desired destination. Most people allow life to happen to them as it is. They never question and they never reflect. As a result, they feel powerless and have no control over what is happening to them.

If you are serious about getting to a higher ground and improving your life, you must take time to reflect. Your previous actions and decisions got you where you are today. Therefore, if you reflect, review and make better choices, you will eventually end up getting to a better place.

When life gets hard, it is a signal telling you that something is not right. Hence, you must reflect on what went wrong and what you can do to course-correct.

Get active

Do you know that exercise can relax your muscle and help release your stress? The University of Florida states that exercise can improve your body image. Living an active lifestyle can make you feel more confident because you feel like you have accomplished something. Not only that, exercise stimulates energy production in your body cell, which makes you energetic and allows your brain to function better.

Write it down

Another thing you can do is to write it down. Yes, you can write down your frustration, worries, anxiety, and stress. In fact, a psychologist from UCLA has proven that an individual may feel less angry or less sad if they put their feelings into words. When you write down your feelings and put them into words, you are activating the prefrontal region of your brain and seeing a reduced response in the amygdala. The amygdala is the vital part of your brain that processes your emotions.

Therefore, the next time when you are feeling stress, life is not proceeding according to your plan or feeling that the world is falling down around you; choose to put your feelings into words. You may feel less emotional.

Ask for help

Rather than sharing your story with someone else, seek help from someone else. When life gets hard, go and get help. You will be amazed that people are more than willing to help you. Of course, getting help from someone is one of the most powerful ways to turn your life around, but how can you do it?

The best way is to get the right help from the right people. For instance, you can seek out the experts within your industry and try to ask for their help. You will never know who will come to the rescue. Or else, find someone who can help you from your own church or community.

Push through it

This is more like an inspiration to you to work through the tough times. When life gets hard, hustle through it. Put in more action, work harder, pour in more effort, and work your way to get out of the seemingly impossible situation.

When you think about it, it is what all the successful people do to achieve extraordinary results in life. No matter what situation or what kind of difficulties they face in their journey, they choose to hustle through it.

Timing may not be right

If you have tried all the above and nothing seems to work, perhaps, you should accept that it might not be the best time to work out the issues you are going through.

Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba, started his internet career in 1995. He built the “China Yellow Pages”, but somehow, the people of China were not ready for the internet and Jack had to delay his dream to a later year. He started once again in 1999 and founded Alibaba, the e-commerce giant that dominates the world today.

As you can see, sometimes, the time may not be the right time. Yes, life can be hard when you are trying to go against the movement or when things are not ready. No matter how tough you push, if the market is not ready, there is no way you can create the breakthrough.

Therefore, sometimes you have to accept that the time is not suitable and you may have to come back later. Remember, delaying your dream does not mean giving them up. When Steve Jobs was fired from Apple, the company he started, he was devastated, but he accepted the fate that he was not good enough. He took 3 months off for the holidays and discovered that he still loved what he does. Thus, he went on to found NeXT computer and bought Pixar. Jobs then learned and improved his leadership skills during those years. When he returned to Apple, he became the great visionary leader that brought Apple to prominence.

Perhaps, if Jobs had not been fired, he would never had learned and became the great leader he was and transformed Apple into one of the most successful companies of the decade. Hence, sometimes, you may need to accept that it may not be the right time to strike.

Pray and have faith

One of the easiest things you can do when life gets hard is to pray and have faith that it will turn out all right because of God’s hand. Whatever you do, never underestimate the power of prayer and faith. When you truly believe in a higher power and you pray sincerely, something in you will change. You may feel more relaxed and less stressful because you are letting go and allowing God to take care of the situation for you.

You may start to see miracles and opportunities because you believe that God has created a path for you. So pray and have faith that things will become better no matter how dire the situation.

Perception

Regardless of the situation, you go through in life, whether it is hard, challenging, tough, or the other way round, you have to understand that you are the one who gives meaning to it. Meaning to say, if you think that life is hard, it is because you are making it hard.

How do you define life being hard? For some people, life can be hard. On the other hand, someone can go through the exact same situation and feel nothing at all. It is your perception, my friend. If you think that something is difficult, then yes, it will be difficult for you. However, if you think that something will be easy and life is joyful, then it will be so to you.

How you look at things matter. While it may be a fact that you may feel financially strapped, not having enough money to put food on the table or you are late on your bills, you can still choose how you want to respond to the situation.

Just like how Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson puts it, “When life puts you in tough situations, don’t say “Why me”, just say, “Try me! “”

You are the one who is in control of your responses in life. Thus, you are the one who can choose what kind of life you want to go experience. When life gets hard, just increase your level and get stronger.

Melvin Feller MA is in Texas and in Oklahoma. Melvin Feller founded Melvin Feller Business Group and Melvin Feller Ministries in the 1970s to help individuals and organizations achieve their specific Victory. Victory as defined by the individual or organization are achieving strategic objectives, exceeding goals, getting results or desired outcomes and a positive outreach with grace and as a ministries. He has extensive experience assisting businesses achieve top and bottom line results. He has broad practical experience creating WINNERS in many organizations and industries. He has hands-on experience in executive leadership, operations, logistics, sales, program management, organizational development, training, and customer service. He has coached teams to achieve results in strategic planning, business development, organizational design, sales, and customer response and business process improvement. He has prepared and presented many workshops nationally and internationally.

[kirokgi-blog]

A Manifesto on Why I Should Never Stop Doing Physical Exercise Again in My Life

Okay, I’m doing it. I’m writing it down. Okay, okay. Phew.

This essay (?) aims to convince myself that I should never go back to being sedentary. The first thing that comes to my mind whilst writing the first sentence is the fact I’m considering myself to not be sedentary. This is highly questionable. My life has been a streak of attempts to implement exercise routines for weight loss, only to give up on them weeks, perhaps even days later. Nothing different has happened this time with me so as to say I am “not a sedentary person anymore”. Nevertheless, I choose to go in this direction.

There are two reasons for this. The first one is that there is wide material on human motivation (I don’t know any to cite here, sorry to myself) that state we are better at some transformation when we see ourselves already in it, as having it started. In my case, today was my fourth day exercising since last weekend, which positions me, or at least I wish so, as someone who has already started a transformative habit implementation process. Yay. 

The second reason is urgency. I went to an appointment with a nutrition professional earlier this year, she weighed me in her scale and boom: 107 kilograms. A three-digit weight. Before it sounds too daunting, I have to remind myself that I don’t care too much about the numbers in a scale and more about my general looks and health perceptions, but these were doomed way back then already. And obviously, all these things walk together. Right after I saw that, there was a second question: “Did you ever weigh more than 107 kgs?”. No. This is the heaviest I’ve ever been.

Now, I really don’t want to get lost in disclaimers, but I am starting this “journey” (see? already using hypermotivational lingo) with a wish to love myself even before any physical changes appear. Also because I won’t do it just to lose weight and look good, there are many reasons. But one thing I have to abolish and anihilate from my daily life is physical self-depreciation.

What is wrong with being fat? There are several downsides to it, some associated with society and some related to health in general, and it doesn’t seem like there is any positive aspect to it. The category of “fat” people is long sought out for mockery, especially in group gatherings and in general herd behavior. Let’s put is simple: fat is out of standard, fat is not what is expected from a “great citizen”, therefore fat people are at fault just for being that way. Do I find this to be extremely hurtful and non-sensical bullshit? Yes, and I also think society should eliminate this way of thinking from its palette. Still, when I look at people who are attractive to me in sexual terms, even after years of active consideration and efforts to change my viewpoint about bodies and sexual arousement (and trust me on this one, I did try), very few types of people who could be sorted out as “fat” catch my eye.

So could I just ditch these unspoken social norms, wait for someone to be interested in me just the way I am and look (after all, someone else’s got to make that point, not me) and just  live my life happy and fat ever after? Yes. But I have to be honest with myself. I want to be most desirable I can be. I want to look myself in the mirror and feel proud of how I’m treating my body. And facing harsh facts, when you’re fat, chances are you have totally given up taking care of your body altogether - which is akin to giving up on yourself. And when I say “desirable”, I am still operating under the terms of the society I belong to, no matter (or little mattering) how much effort I’ve put into trying to change my views on fat and skin. I’m sorry to myself by admitting it, in a way. 

Beyond that, trying to swim against the tide has given me too many headaches and disappointments in this regard, and I feel like I’m just not convinced I would make a happy and wholesome version of myself by just being fat or however my body turns out to be with my current habits. This also spells self-acceptance and satisfaction with oneself. Again, I am actively rejecting the idea of dreading myself until I look “like I wanna look” (how do I wanna look anyways?). The drill here is probably mental health: by exercising and releasing satisfying hormones onto my system, I’m already helping myself not to dread my body, even with zero changes in it on the outside. And do I not need it? I sure do. I spent 2 years of my life trying to figure out where all the anxiety I had came from. I found most of the sources and treated them well, but body image and lack of satisfaction with it is also a source. Little did I know that I could change this by just starting to do something about it. In other words, the journey will take me to two destinations, and one comes really fast.

Cardiological and respiratorial health, and overall strength are other aspects to it. As a rule, and even more so with more time and weight, I feel physically tired very often. I have cramps in the weirdest muscles, I sometimes feel like I cannot raise a member (be it a leg) in a simple exercise with its own strenght most times. I get breathless with the simplest activity in my wokplace or home. I’m not a health freak at all, I’m even highly skeptical of the reasons we should take so much care of our health if I don’t even want to live that long. But I’m talking about improving my already-in-place day to day. Besides, both sides of my family are rippled with diabetes, heart diseases and cancer. Not a nice track record for someone who is fat.

The motivation that stems from exercising makes me also eat better, or make wiser choices on when, how and why meet friends or go on dates. In time, I feel like I also start looking at the things I tell myself that I want to do and just simply see that, for several of them, the elements I need to start that project or pursue that activity are right in my hands. In other words, it unstucks me.

The last thing is - behold - life education. For an anxious lil’ fella like me, it is sometimes difficult and painful to understand that I’m dead gasping for air after 15 minutes of an easy routine, when the handsome man teaching me the steps seems to be doing it with such ease. Yes, I am bad at it. I’m not the best at it, and I might want to be at least good in it. I’m not reaching the point I want to reach within two weeks because it’s just impossible. Physical changes take time, just as many other things in life. All of these concepts and ideas are a revolution to my head.

The epilogue to all this is a huge lurking personality change. My entrance into adolescence and adulthood has been based on shaping a personality that is highly avert to sports, very given to books and learning and, more than anything, seeing these two activities as diametrically opposite lifestyles. All there is to me can be traced back to this division, which renders meaningless now. Any dichotomous thought is a fallacy and this is just one more false dilemma.

Let’s get to work.

[corinawitt471-blog]

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[louiecrookfw-blog]

LIMBO Trailer (re-dubbed)

Introduction

This blog entry details the development procedure I went through whilst designing the sound effects for my LIMBO trailer.

My given assignment was to download the original LIMBO game trailer, remove all audio from the video and produce my own take on the trailer’s audio design. The original trailer doesn’t use sound effects for every action that would usually produce a sound e.g. the rope snapping or electric saw spinning. I decided to create as many sounds as I could possibly make; using the equipment I had access to. I managed to create 12 unique sounds in total. I created these sounds using sound recorders and various materials provided in the university Foley suite.

Some sounds effects I wanted to implement into my trailer, proved too challenging to create myself. For example; a fly buzzing, crows cawing and glass smash. Instead I downloaded a few sound effects from websites like freesound and YouTube. All sourced sound effects used during the creation of my trailer have been credited and referenced. These references can be found at the bottom of this blog post, also I attached the list of references at the end of my trailer remake.

Genre / Music

For my LIMBO trailer I decided to go with an action/adventure genre. I decided this because the trailer itself is quite an action packed video, with various obstacles and many deadly encounters. The original trailer has quite a dark feel to it and I really liked the simplicity of the sounds used. It also did not feature any music, instead it uses a distorted sound effects and deep rumbling sounds that gradually pick up pace as the trailer comes to an end. I thought it worked really well and built up good suspense within the trailer. By seeing this used in the original trailer, I knew that I wanted to create a similar effect.

The first thing I decided to do was to look for an epic suspenseful soundtrack that fit in with what I was going for. I wanted the soundtrack to be quite chilled, even slightly sad before going into an epic fast paced finale. Originally I was going to have voice overs for the protagonist; the idea was that he was a lost child at the start of the video, crying and helpless whilst a soft backing track is played. But as he buckles up the courage, he tackles obstacles with no fear, and with that the music picks up the pace and changes the entire mood of the video.

The piece of music I used was: “Sunder” by Really Slow Motion - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzDPIrEiS-U

I drew inspiration from this poem I came across, I felt as if it was a great representation of how the music transitions from dark to light. Along with that, I also thought it represented how the character at first was unsure of his surroundings, scared and empty. However the realisation of what he must do to fight the obstacles of life kick in, and hope is restored.

“In the beginning there was darkness...Death, the absence of life, was the order of the universe.

Then he outstretched his hand, and light flowed into the cosmic dark.

What was formless took shape

What was dead became life

What was empty was filled

Time began and eventually Time will end... Or will it? The greatest battle the human soul can rage is the race against the great beast known as time. The inescapable foe that will not be placated nor denied its just reward.”

Sound Creation

To create the sound I used the Foley suite which had many materials and props to choose from. Here is a list of how I created the 13 unique sounds I did:

·         Running on Grass – Walking on the spot in piles of cassette tapes

·         Climbing ladder – Tapping metal pole in rhythm

·         Lever (cog turn) – Typewriter mechanism turn back and forth

·         Tyre bounce – Vacuum cleaner tube hit with block of wood

·         Wood creak – leaning on floorboards

·         Rope snap tension – post it notes being flipped

·         Metal creak – metal pole dragged across tiles

·         Boat Drag (consisted of three separate sounds) – brick dragged across ground, metal pole dragged across ground and wood dragged across ground

·         Slide – sandpaper across floor

·         Character jump sound effects – My own voice

·         Character landing – jumping up and down on ground

Editing / Software

To edit my LIMBO trailer I used Sony Vegas Pro. I have experience in using Sony Vegas and have edited videos for YouTube in the past; this made the whole editing process a lot easier for me.

My first goal was to ensure that the song chosen would be on beat with the video. I did this by watching the video over in Sony Vegas and each time the screen switched to a different scene, I pressed ‘M’ which places a marker on the timestamp. After that I played around with cutting the song up to fit in with the beats, this made for a nice effect that really transitioned the video from a slow paced quiet setting to an action packed, upbeat and epic trailer. I also decided that it would create a nice effect to have the beat drop of the music track, in sync with when the in-game character pulls the lever back. After the lever pull part of the video, the trailer’s clips become more action packed and fast paced; therefore the transition of the music track dropping creates a really nice effect and change of mood to the video.

Once the music track was in place and was looking flush with the video, it was time to add some of the sound effects I had created and sourced from others. I decided to input the sound effects in order to ensure I didn’t miss any from start to finish. Most sound effects that I used within my trailer were edited further in Sony Vegas. For example, when recording the sound for walking on grass, the original was far too slow paced to fit in with the character’s footsteps. Accordingly I used a feature of Sony Vegas to speed up the walking sound effect, to do this you simply hold control and drag the audio clip to the desired pace. For the characters voice effects I used my microphone at home and acted a jumping sound. My voice was too deep to fit the characters appearance, so I used a pitch shift within Sony Vegas to create a more high pitched voice to fit that of a young boy.

The only challenging part of the project was getting the correct levels of sound within the trailer. At the start of the video, the music is soft and fairly quiet; therefore sound effects were easy to hear over the soundtrack. However, as the video progresses, much more upbeat and loud music is introduced. As I was adding my sound effects into this part of the trailer, I found that the music was completely drowning out the sound effects and I was not able to hear them. To fix this I had to play around with the decibels of each sound effect, some I even turned up to the maximum and you were still not able to hear it over the soundtrack. To fix this I added another effect which allows you to raise the decibels even further, this sorted out my problem.

Even though we were told not to touch the actual video footage, I decided to change one slight thing. At the end of the trailer, the spider is just about to kill the character but before you see it happen the LIMBO logo comes up on screen. When editing, I realised that that part of the trailer did not sync up well with the ending of my music track. So I cut the LIMBO logo out and moved it around 4 seconds further along than usual. This was purely so as the logo came on screen, it would sync up with the beat of my music soundtrack and created a nice effect for the end of the trailer.

Conclusion

I thoroughly enjoyed working on this assignment, even in spite of how tedious it can be creating original sound. The most challenging part of the assignment was thinking of ways to create the sound effects needed for the trailer. A sound effect to mention is the ‘rope snap and tension’, at first I thought I would have to just source the sound effect from the internet, however a we found that flicking through post it notes created a great tension sound, similar to that of stress being put on a rope until it breaks. I would have liked to have been able to implement only self-made original sound effects within my trailer, however some sound effects proved to be too challenging and time consuming to create. The editing of the project itself was not much of a challenge; I was able to complete it quite efficiently due to my experience with video editing software.

 Final Trailer:

 Referenced Sound-Effects:

Crowes - Blimp66 04/09/2016:

https://freesound.org/people/blimp66/sounds/353432/

 Metal hit - Newagesoup 24/02/16:

https://freesound.org/people/newagesoup/sounds/337831/

 Sounds from lake - Owl 26/05/12:

https://freesound.org/people/Owl/sounds/156525/

 Bee flying - SoundMary 22/07/13:

https://freesound.org/peop|e/soundma ry/sounds/194932/

 Rope snapping - Sound Effects (YouTube) 01/07/16:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruta rEwlkhE

 Snapping - lnspectorJ 17/08/16:

https://freesound.org/people/lnspectorJ/sounds/352203/

 Water sound - Lisa Redfern 07/08/12:

http://soundbible.com/2032-Water.html

 Electric saw - Mainswor 26/04/13: https://freesound.org/peop|e/mainswor/sounds/186SSS/

Old metal swing sound - Karlis Stigis 28/10/12 https://freesound.org/people/karlis.stigis/sounds/168640/

 Walk - Hitmount 09/09/15:

https://freesound.org/peop|e/hitmount/sounds/321583/

Glass Smash - lnspectorJ 26/04/16:

https://freesound.org/peop|e/lnspectorJ/sounds/344265/