#because my lecture skipping meant i never gave myself the chance to do so and they all moved on ahead of me

[immortalsins]

self-isolation during times of stress is pretty bad actually shame it took me 2 years of uni to realise this

[alwaysfeelingsaintlike]

Charmed I’m Sure [G.W.]

Description: George is in desperate need of assistance with his Charms essay and he turns to you. Working together brings you closer than you expected.

Pairing: George Weasley x Gryffindor fem!reader 

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: I wrote a bunch of these short stories/one shots a while ago that I decided to post them on here! Keep in mind I wrote this one AGES ago, so I know this one isn’t great but it sets the scene for some of the others I have. As I post these, they should get better :) Also I’m new to posting fics on Tumblr so bear with me as a work the kinks out

                                                           X

 “Hermione, please!?!?” You heard from across the common room. 

“For the last time George, no! I will not write your Charms essay for you!” Hermione said. 

“But it’s due tomorrow and I haven’t even started yet!” 

“Sorry, that’s your problem. I’ve got other things to work on.” She left the common room and you chuckled quietly to yourself. 

“Waiting until last minute again, are we?” you asked George. He gave you a look that said it all.  

“If you’re going to give me the speech about being more responsible and managing my time more wisely you can just skip it because I’ve heard that one too many times.” 

“Me lecture? Never.” 

He rolled his eyes and you said, “Come here, what’s this essay about.” 

He sat down next to you on the couch and said,  “Y/N, you’re brilliant at Charms! Will you please write this for me!?” 

“Write it for you? No. But I will help you with it.” 

He hugged you suddenly and said, “Thank yoooooou!” 

“Easy. You can thank me when you finish the essay. I think you’re putting a little too much faith in me. I’m a year behind you so I might not even know about what you’re learning.” 

“Eh semantics,” he said nonchalantly and you gave him a skeptical look. But sure enough, it was a topic you were familiar with. You helped him form a thesis and explained some of the critical information he needed. He put quill to parchment  as you verbally gave him some sentences to include. As you sat there with him, you noticed he started to form his own words on the subject and everything he was writing was accurate. He seemed to be comfortable working on his own, so you pulled out some of your own work but sat with him for moral support.

After several hours, he convinced you to take  a break with him. He set aside his parchment and said, “So, Y/N. How have you been?” 

“I am just peachy. Things have been going quite well for me recently.” 

“Things always go your way. Your Irish blood brings you luck.” 

You shrugged and said, “Is that why you wanted my help? Because I’m lucky?” 

“No, it was more because you’re wicked smart. And I missed talking to you. I haven’t seen you much this year.” 

“Yeah I guess it has been a while. It’s mostly because you and Fred are always working on a prank of some sort.” 

“And you’re always talking to someone different, Miss Socialite.” 

“Oh that is not true. I’m just friendly.” 

“Sure,” he said with an eye roll. 

“Any good pranks in the works?” 

“Y/N,” he chucked, “I know that you’re dying to be a part of one of our infamous pranks, but I don’t think you’re qualified.” 

“I think you’re underestimating me. Think about it, filling me in on a prank would be very beneficial for you.” 

“Oh? And why is that?” 

“Because I’m logical and detail oriented. I think of everything, therefore there would be no chance of error. And, you know, I’m fun to be around.” 

“I will agree with you on the latter part. We do need to hang out more. Outside of quidditch.” 

“Well you should remember that and ask me to hang out sometime. I’m sure you’d much rather spend time with me while we’re doing something fun instead of writing an essay. And speaking of essay...” George groaned and went back to his books. 

“Come on, you  only have a few paragraphs left to write.” He started writing again and you looked up at the clock and noticed it was 2AM. You let out a big yawn and felt yourself become tired immediately. 

“You sound tired. You should go to bed. I don’t have much left to write, I can handle it,” he said. 

You shook your head and replied, “No, I’m okay. I’ll stay up with you.” 

“It’s good enough as it is. I can bullshit the next few paragraphs.” 

“Nope. I’m staying here. If I leave, who's to say you won’t fall asleep?” 

“Yeah, fair point.” 

By this time the two of you were sitting on the ground in the common room with your books sprawled out and your backs leaning against the couch, directly in front of the fireplace. You started getting cold so you grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around your shoulders. As you continued your reading assignment, you kept checking in on George to make sure he was getting work done.

“How’s it going?” you asked. 

“I’m just trying to get this thing done. I don’t care how good my writing is as long as I get my point across.” 

“Okay,” you yawned. A moment later you found your head was resting on his left shoulder. He noticed but he didn’t seem to mind. Soon you felt your eyelids flutter over your eyes and you were out.

                                                            X

You woke up the next morning and found yourself in a room that was not your own. It was not the common room either. It was definitely a dorm but whose, you weren’t sure. 

“Morning sunshine,” someone said. You looked up to find George’s face smiling down at you. 

“Morning,” you mustered, as enthusiastically as you could. “Where am I exactly?” 

“In my room. See last night you fell asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you. I was going to carry you to your room but that wasn’t an option, with the enchantments and all. So I just took you to the next place I could think of, which was here.” 

“You could have woken me up. Or just left me on the couch in the common room, you know?” 

“Sure I could’ve, but you looked so peaceful sleeping. I couldn’t bring myself to wake you. And the common room was a bit nippy. I just thought you’d be more comfortable in my bed.” 

“Well that was very sweet of you. But where did you sleep?” 

“On the floor. I grabbed some spare pillows and blankets and-” 

“George! You didn’t have to sleep on the floor. You really should have just left me in the common room. I would’ve been fine. I never meant to take your bed.” 

“I just wanted you to be comfortable. Any gentleman would have done the same thing. Now please stop arguing with me because there isn’t anything you can do to change it.” 

You opened your mouth to say something but found you had nothing to say. Instead, you slouched and crossed your arms, clearly annoyed with his previous statement. 

“How did the essay come out?” 

“I showed it to Hermione already and she said it looked decent. I just need a passing grade. If I pass this, I pass the class.” 

“Oh, I didn’t realize this paper was so important...” 

“You did all you could. Most of it was on me, for being a slacker. But thank you. I’m really happy we got to hang out for a bit last night.” 

You smiled at him. “Me too. And it’s no problem. Really.” 

You left his room and headed to your room, receiving a few  curious looks on the way. Last night made you realize how much you had missed George. You used to be best friends growing up, but recently you drifted apart. You were still friends, but nowhere near as close as you used to be. You only hoped he would take your advice and ask you to hang out soon.

                                                           X

“Y/N!” You turned around to see who was calling you. It was George and he seemed very excited about something. You excused yourself from your current conversation and headed to see George. 

 “Y/N! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” 

“Oh have you?” 

“Yes! Guess what?” 

“Do you really want me to guess? Because I’m not a great guesser.” 

“I got my paper back and I got an O!” 

“O as in outstanding!? That’s amazing!” 

“I owe it all to you! You practically wrote the paper for me.” 

“Don’t sell yourself short. You did all the heavy lifting on that paper. I was just there for moral support.” 

“You really don’t understand do you? You are the reason I passed! I couldn’t have done this without you” 

“I’m really happy for you George! I can’t remember the last time I saw you this excited.” 

“I am over the moon!” He embraced you in a hug and picked you up off the ground and spun you around. When he finally put you down, you just smiled at him. Then the last thing you ever expected to happen happened. His face became suddenly serious and he leaned in and kissed you. It was a relatively short kiss. It seemed like he just did it without thinking because he quickly pulled back and his face was that of panic and shock. 

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what-” he started, before you cut him off. You grabbed his tie and pulled him down towards you to kiss him again, this time more passionately. He wrapped his arms around your waist and you reacted by snaking your arms around his neck. 

George pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he breathed. 

“Well good, because you’re about to do it again.”

[stepfamilyabuseingodsname]

My whipping today

I should start with some background; I was staying over at my uncle's house with my cousin Bella (no real reason, just because). At the time things between my uncle and my cousin were a little tense, Bella has been known to be a troublemaker but especially around the time this happened she was getting into more trouble than usual. And I didn’t have a problem with it, Bella is my best friend but he’s her dad and I understand he’s in charge of keeping her in line at all. The thing was that it made him a little short with me and that annoyed me a little bit so I was a little short with him.

When I got up and had some breakfast my uncle was a little annoyed with my attitude and even gave me a swat over my pajama bottoms warning me not to act up anymore. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but my point is I was kinda on thin ice with my uncle. I guess thinner than I realized. Anyway I didn’t have to work until noon so I decided to go to the gym first.

When I got back I took a shower but I took a little too long. Before long my uncle barged in, turned the water off, and gave my butt a slap. I of course was a little shocked and tried to turn around and cover up. I had shampoo in my hair and was not ready to come out and go to work yet so after a quick lecture he made me turn around and gave me another spank. He told me to finish up ASAP and meet him in his room after I was done. I was pretty sure that meant he was going to spank me but I wasn’t sure until I got out and realized he took all my clothes.

At least I was able to dry off (wet butt spankings are the worst!) before putting on my hand bra/panties and making that awful long walk to my uncle's bed room. (I thought about wearing the towel down to his room but it was pretty obvious it was going to come off anyway.)

“Young lady that was the last straw” he said as I walked in his door

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you”

“Please uncle I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing and I have to go to work can we please skip the spanking. I’ll behave better I promise!”

His response was predictable.

SMACK

He grabbed me by the hips and turned me sideways to slap my butt.

“Okay, let’s try to make this quick without letting you go too easy. Over my knee” he said as he sat down on his bed and pointed to his lap.

I laid over his lap and he started spanking me. Even with just his hand, my uncle gives notoriously hard spankings and this was no exception, considering all I really did wrong was take too long in the shower.

He spanked me really hard and totally steady, slapping the exact say part of my sitspot. One cheek and then the next. By the time the spanking was done I basically had two hand prints on my butt (I kid you not, I could literally see the thumb mark separate from the rest of the hand print). Usually I would get a periodic break where my spanker stops to rub and lecture or ask if I’m learning or whatever, but not this time. Obviously, it wasn't long before I had problems holding still. Pretty soon I was wiggling, then I was kicking, then I tried covering up my backside.

Eventually I found myself held down and that’s about when my uncle stopped to look at his watch and said:

“Okay, I know you need to go to work so 5 more good spanks and I’ll let you go”

SMACK!!

SMACK!!

SMACK!!

SMACK!!

SMACK!!

SMACK!!

(I’m certain he gave me 6 and I’m still salty about it)

“Okay young lady, up you get”

And with that I got off his lap and immediately went into a very embarrassing, butt naked, “spanky dance”.

My uncle gave a very quick lecture about behaving and following instructions and blah blah blah he doesn’t like to do this blah blah blah...then gave me one more slap and told me to get ready for work.

It wasn’t the worst spanking but this wasn’t exactly how I wanted to start my day before work. I only had like 15 minutes to get dressed and eat something before I had to be out the door. Which didn’t leave much time to collect myself or nurse my butt or anything. So I scrambled to get out the door on time, which I was able to do but not without forgetting my mask so I had to circle back which made me late.

When I showed up, I was maybe 10 min. Late, and my boss was giving me crap but all I could focus on was that my butt still hurt lol

Anyway, I never had a chance to get some lotion on my butt so I took my lunch break early and headed over to a CVS near my job to get some lotion. When I got back I applied some to my backside in the bathroom and it did not work as intended! OMG I don’t know what was wrong with it, it was just normal lotion but it felt like I rubbed poison ivy all over my already spanked butt.

It was probably the first time in my life I did a full spanky dance without immediately receiving a spanking.prior. So yeah...one of those days.

But the day didn’t end there…

Once I got out of work, it was about 8:30 and I had to go back to my cousin’s house. When I showed up I wasn’t expecting my uncle to be there and only Bella’s car was in the driveway so I thought it was safe to assume my uncle wasn’t home, right?

So I walk in the door, only expecting Bella to be there and don’t forget I was having a bad day. I just want to remind you of that before you read the next part.

I walk up to the stairs and yell:

“Bella, do you have any lotion? You’re asshole dad spanked the shit out of me this morning”

...no reply.

I walk up stairs to find Bella’s room very much empty. I was a little confused until I turned around to see my uncle standing in the hallway with his arms crossed with a very stern look on his face. My heart just sank and my confusion turned to fear.

“Uncle Jack? I didn’t expect you to be home”

SMACK

Again, his response was predictable, a smack on my butt.

“I can only hope you didn’t”

For what felt like an eternity but was probably only a couple of seconds I just looked at him and he looked back at me. I think he was deciding how he wanted to handle it..

“Young lady, I’m not going to stand here and give you a long lecture. You already know what you did wrong. What’s going to happen is I’m going to take you downstairs, you’re going to take off your pants, you’re going to lay over my lap, and then you’re going to get a very hard spanking. Hopefully when it's all over you will have learned your lesson.”

SMACK

He immediately followed up with a smack on my butt before grabbing me by the elbow and pulling me downstairs.

“Yes sir” I reluctantly agreed and followed him downstairs into the living room.

“Okay young lady. Pants down. Get in my lap. I’m not going to allow you to behave this way.”

I took down my pants, but thinking I might get lucky I didn’t pull down my panties. Much to my surprise, my uncle left them on as I went over his knee.

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

My butt was still a little sore and the spanks hurt so bad, I just wasn’t able to hold still and started kicking and wiggling almost immediately.

“Hold still” my uncle demanded as he embarrassingly grabbed me by the butt to pull me back in position and pushed my shoulders down before continuing the spanking. But now he started pulling my panties up my butt leaving my cheeks exposed.

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

“Up you get young lady” My uncle finally said.

I got up and he swiftly pulled my panties down. But foolishly, I pulled them back up.

“Please no, not on the bare. It’s so embarrassing please it hurts so much already”

He didn’t hear a word of it. He just pulled them back down, then put me back over his knee, and pulled my pants and panties clean off my legs.

:”You’re going to regret that” he said calmly

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

It wasn’t long after that before my uncle let me off his lap for a second time. Only this time I was instructed to get the spoon.

I walked as slowly as possible into the kitchen rubbing my butt and crying all the way there.

Once I got back my uncle made me “ask” him to please give me a spanking with the spoon (as if it weren’t embarrassing enough already).

“Uncle jack, will you please spank me with the spoon”

“Yes I will, now get back over my lap” he said as he put his hand on my butt and pushed me over his leg while grabbing the spoon with the other.

This time he must have known I was not going to be able to cooperate very well over the knee so he bent me over one of his legs and preemptively used the other to hold me down.

Now that I was pretty much totally restrained he started smacking me with the spoon.

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

Finally, my uncle set the spoon on my lower back and rested his hand over my butt.

“I hope you’re learning your lesson young lady”

“Yes sir I am”

“Good, I sure hope so but he aren’t done yet”

SMACK

“Up you get, go fetch the paddle”

“No please, not the paddle! I learned my lesson! I promise!” I begged but didn’t get off of his lap

SMACK SMACK SMACK

Of course it was useless. If my uncle told me to get the paddle, I was going to get a paddling.

As with the spoon, I waddled as slowly as I could to get the paddle, rubbing my butt all the way to my uncle's room where he kept the paddle and back.

Even though neither the spoon spanking or the hand spanking took too long, I’m sure you can understand how it was getting real old, and real embarrassing, going back and forth over my uncle's knee and fetching implements.

“Alright young lady, I’ll take that. You stand right there and bend over with your hands locked behind your knees”

“Please don’t spank me too hard” I said as I handed him the paddle and bent over like he told me to.

“Count them” he said, tapping my butt with the paddle.

SMACK

“OUCH! One sir” I said as I immediately jumped up and rubbed my backside. He wasn’t spanking as hard as he usually did with the paddle but given how much my butt had been smacked that day, it was hard to hold still.

“Back in position” my uncle said as he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back down until I was bent over.

SMACK

“OUCH! Two sir”

SMACK

“OUCH! Three sir”

...

SMACK

“OUCH!”

And I finally couldn’t take it anymore so I broke position and started rubbing my butt. My uncle responded by again grabbing my shoulders but this time pulling me back to the chair and back over his knee.

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

“Young lady, you are going to do as you are told!” he said before letting me back up.

“If you’re not going to stay in position, I want you to keep your hand on your knees, your knee slightly bent, and keep that butt out” he said tapping my butt with the paddle before I was even in position.

Now that I knew he was totally serious I stayed in position for the rest of the swats. Like I said, they weren’t full strength swings, but it was more than enough to keep me in tears.

With my back arched and butt sticking out, it was a pretty embarrassing position and I had to stay like that for the rest of the spanking. Periodically my uncle would slow down and use his hand to spank me, asking if I was learning my lesson or give me some kind of banal lecture.

He didn’t make me count them after that but there was a lot and it felt like forever! Finally he told me to stand up straight and put my hands on my head.

“We’re almost done here young lady” he said

‘You used some pretty gross language earlier, that and your attitude lately is why you’re here getting such a hard spanking isn’t that right?”

“Yes sir”

“And what happens when you use language you’re not supposed to?

“I get my mouth soaped”

“That’s right, now let's get your mouth and that butt in that bathroom to finish up your punishment” he said as he gave me a sorta light smack on my behind.

“Keep moving young lady”

SMACK

I tried walking nice and slowly to the bathroom but was sped up by the occasional hard smack on my butt.

“Okay young lady, you can use your hands to cover up your front if you’d like. But keep your hands away from your bottom. You’ve still got some spanks coming.” He said once we reached the bathroom.

“Yes Sir”

Once we made it to the bathroom I got the usual uninteresting treatment. I had to stand in front of the mirror while my uncle wetted up the soap, stuck it in and out of my mouth, smacked my still naked butt, and lectured me. Finally he told me he thought I learned my lesson and gave me permission to wash my mouth out. Then he gave me a big hug.

“You know I don’t like spanking you like this” he said

“I know you don’t, I’m sorry” was my reply.

Then came the awkward part (because nothing up to this point was the least bit awkward). My uncle said something to the effect of

“That bottom is awfully red and sore. Now that your punishment is over so I can be a little nicer, how about I put some lotion on them” he said, putting his arm on my shoulder and guiding me outside the bathroom and back into the living room.

Now my uncle has seen and spanked my bare bottom more times than I count, not to mention I had just finished up my second bare bottom spanking of the day with him, so I guess I could only be so embarrassed by him rubbing some lotion over my bottom. That being said, I found it pretty humiliating.

It’s not like he hasn’t done it before, or even that I would say no if he asked if I wanted him to. It was just that every other time I’ve had someone rub my butt with lotion after a spanking, I’ve either asked them to do it or at least they asked me if I wanted them to first. I honestly don’t think he was trying to make it awkward or anything, I think he was trying to be nice actually, just felt pretty awkward.

Anyway he grabbed some lotion from the bathroom and we walked back down into the living room. He sat down in the same chair that he was spanking me in earlier. Not going to lie, even though I knew he wasn’t going to spank me, it was a little scary going back over his lap in the same exact position.

“Wow that is one very hot bottom” he said as he cupped his hand around my butt.

“I’d have to spank bella awfully hard before her butt got got this hot” I didn’t really know what to say, I felt a mix of mildly annoyed and embarrassed over the comments on the temperature of my bottom.

“Yeah, you spanked me really hard. It hurts a ton.” I wasn't trying to make him feel bad but I just didn’t know how to respond.

“Sorry, I hope this isn’t too embarrassing for you. I know you’re a grown woman now.” Felt a little stange for him to say that with my literally half naked over his lap, with my butt in his hand.

“No, it's okay” I said, totally lying through my teeth.

It was about then that he started rubbing the lotion. And I’m not going to lie, it was very reliving. Not like I was feeling great or anything, butt my backside was hurting pretty bad and the lotion did make it fell a lot better

We had some light, sorta awkward, conversation while I was over his knee and I was starting to feel very relaxed. Finally he asked if I felt better now and I said yes. Then he gave me a spank that I was not at all expecting and told me I could get up. It wasn’t a super hard spank but it shocked me and almost ruined the whole point of putting lotion on my butt.

Anyway, that’s pretty much what happened, Not my best day, but at least I learned something so hopefully I don’t get too many more spankings like that

[kingarise]

There is Only One Master of Me

Blue eyes gazed around the chamber with thinly veiled distaste, tapping a nail on her goblet in an attempt to calm herself but it only made her more agitated. As if sensing the young human’s loosely leashed temper, the other beings at the party shied away from her, giving her a large berth, walking past her as if on eggshells and those closest to her containing their gossip to whispers. Not that it helped. Lucette already knew what they were whispering about, the constant glances between her and her target of wrath making it obvious.

Everyone heard about the rejection of the marriage proposal by her father. Everyone knows about his failure of the Wolf Knight’s grand test.

And everyone most certainly knew that Lucette was furious with her once lover. Alessio had failed her. Whatever task her father has asked of the man had apparently been too great for the god kin to handle and he refused. And thus, Artorias refused him as well. As soon as her father told her about Alessio’s refusal to his question, Lucette felt her heart burn with the flames of wrath and throb with the sharp sting of betrayal and heartbreak.

    ‘How did I manage to fall in love with such a coward?! Surely whatever Papa asked him couldn’t have been so arduous to cause a God kin much difficulty! Was he too unintelligent to complete the task or was his pride too stiff to bend? Matters not. If he could not handle Papa, then he most certainly would not have been able to handle me as a wife. What an embarrassment.’

Worse thing was, he had the audacity to show his face at the party and was throwing her longing glances from across the crowd. And yet, still cowered away from her instead of walking up to her himself. Despite his failure, he still expected her to do the work?! Useless!

   ‘Fine. He wants a show, he’ll get one. And the main jester will be him, not me.’ Lucette decided, throwing back the rest of her wine and slamming the cup on the table, standing up, drawing people’s attention.

Thankfully for her, Lord Gwyn wasn’t present at this event. Unfortunately for her, that meant that Ornstein surveyed the event in his place. Symbolic, of course. A statement from the King that whether he was physically present or not, he had eyes and ears everywhere. Hopefully she won’t get another 5 hour lecture about her undignified behavior after this. Or worse, tell her father.

At the thought of the possibility of her father hearing of this, a prickle of doubt crept into her, making her pause. She didn’t want to stress him more than he most likely already is. He was probably hurting from her pain too. But at the memory of Alessio’s empty promises, pathetic begging for another chance as she stormed away from him in tears that day, a storm of anger and recklessness swept her up into its arms and pushed her to call out confidently. Or perhaps it was the wine. She did add in a few drops of God kin alcohol into her own.

   “Lord Alessio!”

At the sound of her voice, all conversation stopped and heads turned, some towards her, others towards the man addressed. Alessio, for a split second, looked like a fish out of water before he schooled his expression into one of docility.

   “My lady?”

Lucette smirked, pleased that he walked into the trap. A dog will always come when called.

   “Do you dance, my lord?”

A hint of a smirk grew on Alessio’s lips, a glimmer of pride sparking in his eyes. He thought that she has calmed down from her anger and came crawling back to him. Poor fool. Even a dog knows to sniff a treat before eating it.

   “If it pleases you, my lady.”

And there it was, the charm that had caused her to fall in love with him in the first place. What a shame that she didn’t know at the time that charm was empty without action behind it. Lesson harshly learned.

Huffing a laugh, she stepped onto the dance floor, the other couples having cleared the space. A crowd of eyes followed the two as they drew closer, soft whispers filling the air alongside tension and anticipation.

   “Play the Volta” She ordered, not looking away from the familiar green eyes before her. As the music filled the room, the two past lovers got into position, starting off with a clap.

   “Lucette.”

Starting to speak already? She had expected he would’ve lasted until after the first jump. But this week has possibly been a lesson to her about her high expectations for this man.

   “You have been avoiding me.”

   ‘No shit, you imbecile.’ She mentally rolled her eyes at the astute observation, giving him a cocky smirk with a head tilt. He gives her a look of confusion, tilting his head in question. They continued the dance, Lucette skipping with a spin on the fifth step, turning once again to meet with Alessio.

   “Let me explain myself-”

   “I wouldn’t recommend that. The last time you tried ended quite terribly, if I recall correctly.” She cut off his weak lead in, her eyes now physically rolling. She is so sick of hearing that sentence. “Let me explain myself,” he says. What a beggar.

   “Very well then. I will state it bluntly. Your father disapproves of me. Always has. Along with that beast of his-”

   “Sif. Her name is Sif. and you will give her due respect.” She interrupted with a hiss, now glaring at him. Any partner that couldn’t respect Sif appropriately was best thrown out. She was being absurdly generous giving him this false disguise of a chance to speak to her again.

   “Sif. They have both disliked me being with you from the start. Your father looks down upon me. For what reason I know not.”

Does he genuinely not understand? Or is his pride tied too tightly around his eyes, blinding him?

   “Hn.”

   “Because they know I would do anything for you.”

Except the necessary thing to get her father’s approval for marriage. Except swallowing his pride.

As they progressed through the dance, she could tell that Alessio was getting tired of the false pretenses of dancing and simply wished to speak with her. Lucette cared not. He will indulge her until she sees fit to stop.

   “Lucette, say something!”

   “What do you want me to say, hm? That I forgive you? Most certainly not. That I love you? That flower has already wilted. I have no words for you. You have made it quite clear that you were never mine.” She hissed at him, her throat growing tighter as the feel of heartache threatened to consume her.

   ‘Hold onto the anger. Hold onto it.’ She moved to do the next step of the dance, turning away from him, but a harsh grip on her bicep pulled her back, stumbling into his embrace, drawing gasps and exclaims of shock from those watching. Before her rage could fully set off for daring to lay a hand on her in such a way, his hands wrapped around her waist, lifting her into the air.

“For Gwyn’s sake, enough of this petty anger. You will always be my Lucette!”

Enough.

With neither warning nor hesitation, she backhanded him across the mouth, causing him to drop her on her feet. Whirling around, Lucette glared at Alessio with eyes of blue fire, mere seconds from ripping off his head right then and there.

   “I am NOT your Lucette! I never was and never will be! And if you think that you could sweet talk me into falling into your arms like some empty headed maiden, you are a bigger fool than my family and I have thought! You would serve better as Sif’s chew toy than a man since that thing behind your eyes and between your ears is empty and lifeless-”

   “Lucette. Enough.”

At the sound of Ornstein’s voice behind her, Lucette bit sharply on her tongue, halting her tirade. As much as she wished to tear him apart right then and there, she knew Ornstein would not appreciate a direct order being ignored. With another sharp look at the pitiful man cowering before her, she gave a small curtesy to Ornstein out of courtesy and made her way to the doors, the crowd hastily parting to let her pass. Before she could leave however, she decided to make an announcement. For any and all of the God kin in the room who wished to try their hand at taming the wolf’s daughter in the future. Spinning around, she faced the crowd again, her gaze sweeping over them with unfaltering heat.

   “There is only one master of me. And he is not in this room.” She called out confidently, daring anyone to argue against her. With that parting message, she turned away and left the party, the doors slamming closed behind her. Let them chew on that. And if they ponder over who she was speaking about, then let them. Only the ones that know her know who she meant.

Later that night, as she braided her hair for bed, she distantly heard the entrance door to the Wolf Suite open and the familiar clacking of nails and metal on stone.

“3...2...1” She softly counted down, grinning as the noises drew closer and in strode Sif, greeting Lucette with soft barks and attacking her face with licks.

“Hahaha Sif! I already had my bath! And you are still dirty from the day.” Lucette giggled, pushing the large wolf away from her face. Sif huffed, offended at the implication that she was dirty and finally released Lucette from her slobbery greeting, laying her head on her lap to receive her due head scritches. Which Lucette happily complied with, always happy to pet Sif’s fluffy self. A knock on the doorway drew both of the girls’ attention, Sif’s tail beginning to wag at the sight of Artorias.

“Good evening, Papa.”

“Evening, Starlight.” He greeted, bending down to kiss her hair, ruffling Sif’s fur.

“How was the ball? I hope you did not partake in too much wine.” He asked, giving her a playfully stern look.

“No no, only a cup. As for the ball...Well, it was surely eventful. That is certain.” She answered, eyes focused on her hands petting Sif. She could hear the clink of armor as her father shifted, looking at her with a questioning look.

“Did something happen?”

‘You’ll find out one way or another. Might as well give a small idea for what’s coming.’ Lucette huffed, finally looking up to look her father in the eye.

“I saw him there. At the ball.”

From the sudden appearance of tension in the air, she knew that he knew who she was talking about. Artorias kneeled down beside her bed, making his height match her own, large hands that Lucette has seen smash grown human armored men into pieces, tenderly cupping her own.

“Did he attempt to speak to you? What did he say, starlight?”

When she opened her mouth to speak, all that came out was a sob and that sound released the floodgates. She wept in her father’s arms right then and there, the crush of defeat overwhelming her after so long held back. With no more anger to distract her, all she had left was grief for the love that was swiftly killed. She could hear her father cooing to her gently, one arm wrapped around her as his other softly stroked her hair.

“He….He wanted me to... forgive him. Implied that you and Sif somehow sabotaged him.”

Sif very much did not appreciate Lucette’s ex’s attempt to switch blame, a growl rumbling lowly in her throat, soothed away by more head pats from Lucette.

“And what did you say in return?”

“I refused, of course. To do otherwise would be an insult to myself and you and Sif. I could never have such low respect for myself to do so.” She spat out, a flash of anger running through her before fading away. A part of her regrets confronting him but the majority says that he deserved it. That he’s lucky Ornstein stopped her.

“Do you wish for me to...speak with him?” Her father suggested darkly, leaning back to look her in the eyes, his own filled with silent promises of vengeance and retribution on Alessio for causing her pain. A tempting offer but she turned it down.

“No. I think the public humiliation I caused him was enough. If he tries again though...well, I did promise Sif a nice bone one of these days.”

At the mention, Sif’s tail began to wag eagerly as father and daughter shared matching mischievous grins.

Indeed, there was only one true master of her. And she loved him dearly.

[imaginewrites24]

Chapter 1

A/N: Katherine McNamara will be the face of Katalina. In some gifs she will have red hair but my character has brown hair.....confusing I know but Katherine has the face I imagine for Katalina.

————————————————————————————————————————

Kats pov

6 months later.

I’m an idiot, it was way to fucking cold to be walking home. I had a crazy day at the dinner. It was like everyone in the entirety of Santo Padre decided to eat at the dinner today and I was the only one on shift so of course I was busting my ass all damn day. Jane stopped by the dinner before closing to drop off some extra uniforms and had promised to make it up to me in return.

My day continued to be shitty when I tried to start my car only for it to crap out resulting in me having to walk home alone at 11:30 at night. My only hope was the Ez had decided to stay in his camper tonight so I didn’t have to hear him yell at me for not calling him. He hates when I do anything alone at night because it’s “not safe”.

Once I finally made it to my front door I let out a sigh. It was a long day and all I wanted to do was take a shower and relax since I had the next 4 days off, however, the relaxation didn’t happen because when I got in the house and turned around I got the scare of my life.

“Holy Jesus fucking Christ what the fuck” I said as a placed my hand on my heart and leaned back against the door.

“You should have seen your face” he chuckled turning his head away from my tv to look at me

“Shut the fuck up you almost gave me a heart attack”

“I’m almost always here I don’t see how you didn’t expect me”

“Yah I know it’s just been a long day, the dinner was full all day” I said kicking his feet of my coffee table and walking past him into my room.

“Alright well now that you’re here I’ll go get us some food while you shower”

“Get tacos” I said peaking my head around my bedroom door

“I know what you want Kat, you don’t have to tell me” he said with a chuckle

“Yah yah yah just hurry the fuck up im hungry I haven’t eaten since breakfast and don’t even try to yell at for it cause I didn’t have time” I said going back into my bathroom and starting my shower

It only took a few minutes before I heard Ez come back in my room and standing by my bathroom door and it was then that I realized the lecture about walking home was gonna start because of my lack of car in the driveway

“Katalina ?” The use of my full name was never a good sign, he was upset and I was undoubtedly about to get a lecture

“Yes Ezekiel ?”

“Where the hell is your car?” He asked

“At the dinner, it wouldn’t start so I just walked”

“You walked home at 11:30 at night” he paused and sighed before countinuing “Kat we talked about this, you should have just called me”

“I know but I didn’t feel like it and I’m clearly fine so just go get my food”

“Just call me next time okay, I know you refuse to ride on my bike but I’ll borrow dads truck if I have to”

“I know you will but I don’t get what the big deal is, the dinner is only 2 miles away” I said getting out of the shower and wrapping my towel around me before exiting and entering my room.

“It’s not safe at night and I just want to keep you safe” he’s caring nature is what I love and hate the most about him. He’s so caring that I know I can count on him if I ever need him but on the other hand he was overprotective. He’s even gone as far as meeting me at work when I’d work super late just so he could drive behind me. Sometimes he forgets I know how to take care of myself.

“I know you do Ez and I appreciate it but we both know I can take care of myself I did have an older brother you know” I said while grabbing my shirt and shorts from my bed.

“Alright I’ll be back in 30 minutes” he said walking out the door before stopping and saying something else.

“I’m taking your keys too”

“You gonna lock me in or something?” I said pulling the shirt over my head and walked over shoving him out the door.....or trying to anyway, the man is a fucking brick wall.

“Don’t tempt me”

“Whatever I’ll be here when you get back”

——————

3rd person pov

Ez walked in the house, closing the door and hanging up Kats keys by the door. From the light in in the kitchen he knew that’s where she was, most likely putting away the dishes she had washed this morning before heading to work.

“I’m back” he called in hopes of not scarring her this time. “I got salsa too” he said as he walked into her kitchen

“This is why you are my best friend” she said as she placed the last dish in the dishwasher.

Ez and Katalina had an odd relationship. To the outside world they looked as if they were together however they weren’t. Ez and Kat had become friends 6 months ago when he came into the dinner. After a month of then being friends Katalina found out that he was living in a camper and she refused to let him constantly stay there so she offered him her couch for the times he didn’t want to be in his camper.

Now months later it’s rare that he’s not sleeping on her couch. Only on nights that the club has him out late does he stay in the camper so he dosent wake her up. They spend so much time together that some club members think they are together just don’t want to tell anyone.

“So how was your day, hope it was better then mine” Katalina asked after grabbing Ez a beer and her a water out the fridge.

Truth was Ezs day most likely wasn’t better than hers. He had spent the day running around with the club and then spent a few hours after bishop let him go looking over stuff about Happy. Lying to Katalina after she had be there for him was something he hated. He couldn’t tell her anything and he hated it. He trusted her more then anything but he wasn’t going to put her in the line of fire. Of course Katalina being the woman she was she understood that he couldn’t tell her about club business or about happy.

“It was okay” he said

“Just okay?”

“Yup” he said and they sat down to eat.

———-

It had been a few hours after EZ went to get food. After they finished they sat down on her small couch to watch tv when she ended up falling asleep. It was 30 minutes later when she turned over and her head ended up on his shoulder causing his heartbeat to skip. This wasn’t the first time she had fallen asleep on him. He could move her to her room if he wanted too but the risk of waking her up after a long day was too great so he settled for wrapping his arms around her pulling the blanket from the side and covering them both.

Ez would never admit it to anyone but he had started to develop feeling for Katalina in the last 6 months. He would never act on them, he had this overwhelming need to keep her safe in anyway possible. Just being his friend could put a target on her back for club shit she has nothing to do with. He cared for her greatly and even though he had these feelings for her he would much rather suppress them then to risk the chance of her getting hurt because of him. At least this way if it came down too it he could lie and say she was just a friend and that she meant nothing to him even if it wasn’t true.

There was also the Emily situation. He thought after helping her with her son that she would leave him alone but here he was declining her call for the 6th time tonight since he had got back with the food. Whatever it was that she wanted could wait, right now all EZ cared about was not waking up the girl sleeping in his arms.

[jenomark]

Chapter 2

○Pairing: College!Mark x Reader (Female)

○Other Members/ Characters: X

○Genre: fluff & a little angst

○Warnings: One of the characters dialogue tends to be a little offensive at times. It’s all things I’ve heard spoken to me, or to my friends. I kept it in because she reminds me a lot of people I’ve experienced in my life, and I draw my inspiration from shitty people like that.

○Word count: 2,005

→Summary: A new school, no friends, and a boy who unexpectedly runs into you and changes everything.

______________________________________________________________

  You had a dream of lost rings, and of boys with their mothers. You went to sleep so late after getting in that you crashed on your bed still fully clothed. You ended up wandering campus until late at night, people watching, and eating microwavable pizza all by yourself. When you arrived back at the dorm, your roommate was passed out and clutching her childhood stuffed animal. You don’t remember ever feeling so much happen at once, but your time with the boy and his letter was the most exciting thing to happen to you thus far.

  You woke up to the sound of your roommate loudly filing her nails. She sat on her bed just watching you, her eyes glazed over. When she heard you stir, she let out a deep sigh every few seconds until you looked at her.

“Do you think real love exists?” she asked.

  Having her talking to you was a breakthrough, but all you needed was two more hours of sleep. You tried rolling over, but she came over and sat at the edge of your bed.

“I don’t mean, like, love for your cat, but real, genuine love.” she said.

“You’re eighteen,” you groaned. “The only love you should have is between you and your kpop boys.”

“Don’t mock me.”

 You shoved a pillow over your head. “I’m not mocking you. I am telling you the truth.”

“You are mocking me,” she said. “I know girls like you. You’re so cynical and you think everyone hates you because you’re edgy but you’re just scared of receiving love so you refuse all of it.”

  She removed the pillow from your face and threw it onto the floor. The look on your face probably gave her enough ammo on you to last all year.

“I’m right,” she said. “Admit it.”

  Your phone was lying beside you. You picked it up and looked at it: 0 calls, 0 messages, 0 emails.

“The only thing I’ve ever loved is a plant, and I killed it because I loved it too much.” you said.

“A boy came by to see you.”

“What? What boy?” you asked.

  You lifted yourself into a sitting position, which hurt your neck. You touched your head and recalled the moments from yesterday.

“What did he look like?” 

“Asian”

“That’s racist.”

 “I’m sorry,” she said. “He was cute, in a momma’s boy kind of way. He looks like he plays baseball and loves Jesus.”

“That’s offensive.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m trying. Is he your boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Do you want him to be?”

“No.”

“I guess that is for the best,” she said. “Men are a disappointment.”

  You rolled out of bed and looked in the mirror. You looked liked a mess. You combed your fingers through your hair and checked yourself out. 

“Are you sure?” she said. “You’re looking a little too hard at that mirror. He probably likes what he sees edgelord.”

“Yes. I mean, no...Yes I’m sure..no I don’t want him.” you said. “What did he want, anyhow? Not that I care, because I don’t.”

“He wants you to meet him in the cafeteria at 11.” she shrugged. “If you’re going, can you please get me a fucking doughtnut this time? I’m trying to eat all of my feelings.”

  You looked at your phone and saw that it was 11:10. You ran to your little closet and picked out a new outfit, tearing your clothes off from the night before. You had never changed in front of anyone, but you didn’t let it phase you. You decided that you would really try and make an effort with your life.

“Goodbye!” she yelled as you ran out. “Stupid bitch.”

  You arrived at the cafeteria out of breath. The place was huge and far too expensive, even with a meal plan. You scanned the crowds, looking for him, but couldn’t find him. When you were getting ready to give up, you heard a sigh from behind you.

“Good afternoon,” he said.

  You turned and faced him. He looked surprisingly chipper, and nothing like the boy you met yesterday.

“You wanted to meet with me?”

“Yeah,” he said. 

  He held up your ring at eye level. When you didn’t take it, he grabbed your hand and unfolded your fingers until he saw your palm. He placed the ring in the center and closed your fist.

“I went and talked to her this morning,” he said. “I thought you should know.”

  He walked away, motioning for you to keep up with him. He stopped by the sugary doughnut case and bought two, one for you and one for him. He handed it to you and said there was no need to thank him.

“Why are you telling me this?” you asked.

“Hold this.” he said.

  He handed you a beautifully bound blue notebook. You tucked it underneath your arm as he paid for the treats. When he was finished, you kept walking.

“You seemed hurt.” he said, shrugging.

“I was hurt when you bumped into me, and that’s it.” you said. “It’s your life.”

“Either way,” he said. “I went and I apologized to her. You were right. I shouldn’t have left her a letter. I think I knew it would damage us beyond repair, and I think that is what I wanted. I realize now that maybe that wasn’t the best way to go about it.”

   You took a nibble of your doughnut and looked away from him. There was something about him that made you feel things and you didn’t like it. You didn’t know if it was because you were attracted to him, or because he made you feel comfortable.

“I’m Mark, by the way,” he said. “You don’t have to tell me your name. Your roommate already told me. You look peaceful when you’re sleeping.”

“Gross.”

  Just like that, things began to feel easier. Mark laughed, the sound loud and contagious. His whole face lit up from happiness, and it made you stop and stare a little too long.

“I have to go to class,” you said. “Thanks for the doughnut, Markie.”

  You slipped your ring back on your finger and examined it in the light. Everything seemed right. There was no angry ex-girlfriend, crisis averted. Your roommate was opening up a little, and there was a new person standing right in front of you.

“That’s a pretty ring.” he said.

“My father gave it to me,” you said. “I wear it to remind myself that men are awful.”

                                      ------------------------

  Sitting down for class, you untucked Mark’s notebook from your arm. You hadn’t noticed it was there until you had said goodbye to him. You set it down in front of you and paid attention to your professor. All throughout the lecture, you looked down at it. Your fingertips touched the edges of the paper, the string holding it together, and his name embossed on the front.

  I could take one peek. He wouldn’t ever know. I could find out which dorm he lives in,  and return it to him while he is sleeping. He would be none the wiser. He didn’t seem that bright, anyhow.

  You pulled the string apart slowly. Paranoia set in fast. You looked at the faces all around you to make sure you didn’t have a class with him and maybe you just didn’t know it. When you felt safe, you yanked the last of the string. It was all there for the taking. Now all you had to do was open it and look inside. Chances are, it wouldn’t even be that interesting and you could erase the bad decision from your memory.

  Trust is a thin, blue line. You walked it constantly like a shaky acrobat walking the tightrope. You didn’t want to be the girl who pried into other peoples business. You knew it had something to do with your own life being dull, but that was no excuse.

“Cool book.” the person next to you said.

“Thanks.”

  You opened it up like it belonged to you. On the first page was a letter that could only be from his mother. You snapped the book shut and decided you couldn’t do it. After a few minutes, you opened it again but skipped the first page. Inside were little notes about how to fry an egg in a woman's handwriting, and little words written in the margins. Diving in deeper, you read lyrics and diary entries, saw little doodles and bucket lists. Mark was a talented writer. You wanted to read more, to really get inside of his brain, but class was ending and it was time to return the book.

   When you went to return the book, you couldn’t find him anywhere. You found out that he didn’t even live on campus, and that he hadn’t made any friends. You were hoping to bump into him, but there was no such luck.

“I can hold it while you’re gone?” your roommate said. “He might not go home over the weekend, like me. He could come looking for it.”

“That’s okay,” you said. “I’ll just bring it home with me.”

                                           ------------------------

  In the car ride home, your mother was silent. You were hoping to convince Renjun to come back home like he was supposed to, but he wouldn’t answer his phone. You held Mark’s notebook in your lap and occasionally flipped through it. You had touched it so much that it felt like yours. You had nearly read all of it by now, too.

“ What is that?” your mother asked.

‘“A friends book. ” you said, the word ‘friend’ feeling foreign on your tongue.

“Mark?”

“That’s his name.”

“A boy?”

“Yes, mom, a boy.” you said. 

“A boy you like?”

“He’s just a boy.”

“Your father was ‘just a boy’.” she said.

  She didn’t talk about your father often. When she did, it’s like she forgot what happened for one blissfully ignorant moment. She had lived in memories since he left. The good things made her smile, old photographs of the two of the together, or an anniversary gift that meant everything to her.  After mentioning him, she always grew quiet and somber. It angered you that she would do that to herself, that she would go through a league of emotions just to stop at pity for her actions.

“Let’s just stop talking.” you said. 

  You flipped through Mark’s notebook, finding comfort in every dog-eared page. On the second from last page, you noticed a number written really small in the upper right corner. It blended in before, but now it definitely looked like a number. You brought out your phone and texted it.

You: Mark? Does this number belong to a Mark? His last name is Lee. You: Hello? I’m sorry. I’m trying to get into contact with a boy named Mark.

Him: i do know a Mark, I think.

You: Mark Lee?

Him: yes, I think so. I heard that guy is handsome.

You: I heard his mother wipes crumbs from his face.

Him: i hate you. How did you get this number? I try not to give my number out to weird girls.

You: Your notebook. You gave it to me to hold. Where have you been? I’ve tried giving it back. 

Him: Busy.

You: It’s been a whole week.

Him: A whole week of you in my life. I must be lucky.

You: Well, if you want your precious notebook, you have to come and get it.

Him: Where are you?

You: Driving home.

Him: And home is?

You: Hell.

Him: Directions. I need directions. That book is important to me.

You: Oh, right. 

Him: did you look inside of it?

Him: You’re not answering. You did. Were you sent to ruin my life?

You: I’m sorry.

Him: You could have lied.

You: I don’t lie to my friends.

  Mark didn’t text back. You put your phone down and hugged his notebook to your chest. Your mother didn’t question anything, just drove in silence.

[helloalycia]

noise complaint // alycia debnam-carey

summary: you have always complained about me making too much noise (whether that's television, video games or music/musical instrument is up to you) and this is the first time you've come over and lectured to me about on my doorstep instead of giving me a phonecall, and I'm not really listening because I hadn't realised I had such a hot neighbour. Now I'm currently making more noise in attempt for you to come over again and again and- WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CALLED THE LANDLORD" AU — prompt from @ihavetoomanyaus

warning/s: none.

part two | part three | masterlist

          "Dude, you better not– yes! In your face, Turtlemaster547!"

         I laughed down the headset as I aimed a perfect headshot against my online opponent. I was playing Call of Duty on my PlayStation and I'd just bought some bomb ass speakers and a new flat screen. I was enjoying myself to say the least.

         The game ended soon enough and I chuckled to myself as I pulled off my headset. Snack time!

         I headed to my kitchen and went to grab some crisps, only to hear a really loud banging noise on my front door. I quirked an eyebrow as I headed to the door, crisps in hand. When I opened it, I was met with infuriated green eyes directed my way. The woman seemed angry, possibly cursing my way, but I could barely pay attention because hot damn, my neighbour was drop dead gorgeous.

         Her mouth was moving, but honestly speaking, no words were coming out. I was too busy admiring her beauty. Long, wavy brunette locks cascaded down her shoulders, framing her face and highlighting her sparkling green eyes. God, her eyes were gorgeous and I couldn't stop staring at them, even if they were glaring at me. She had an adorable button nose and plump lips that were extra shiny because of her lip balm. Yep, I was screwed.

         "...all I've been hearing this past week and I've given you the benefit of the doubt, but I can't put up with this anymore," I caught the end of it as I zoned back into reality. She was still angry and I was still shook.

         "Erm... what was that?" I grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of my neck.

         Her cheeks flushed red, either from embarrassment or anger, and she breathed out slowly. "You are making too much noise."

         The Australian accent really wasn't helping her case. I was already heart eyes for the stranger.

         "Sorry, I'll turn it down," I apologised sincerely, but God, I was so distracted by her piercing gaze. She looked like she wanted to kill me, and honestly, I didn't mind one bit. "I didn't quite catch your name," I added, smiling cheekily.

         She licked her lips (I'm pretty sure I died there and then) before saying, "Alycia. I live literally down the hall." She pointed a slender finger over her shoulder before straightening her posture. "Just please, watch the volume?"

         I merely smiled at her as she was leaving, feeling star struck at her presence. How had I never noticed this beautiful stranger living in the same hall as me? Let the crush begin.

         "I'm Y/N by the way!" I called out suddenly, watching as she glanced over her shoulder. She quirked an eyebrow and I only grinned in response, to which she rolled her eyes and continued walking back to her flat.

         As I closed the door, I knew I had to see her again. Somehow... but I couldn't just stop by. That would be weird, right? I didn't even know her. I needed to find a reason for her to come back to my flat again...

         I munched on my crisps as I headed back to my gaming chair. As I was putting my headset back on and turning the volume down, it hit me. I grinned to myself as I knew what I needed to do to get her attention.

         Make some noise.

***

         "So you're just going to piss your hot neighbour off by playing really loudly?"

         I chuckled as I leaned back into my seat. I was playing online with a friend of mine, his name was Kevin and we'd known each other online for a few years now. No, he wasn't some random stranger – we'd met up last year in person and he was literally my age so it wasn't weird. Anyway, I'd told him about Alycia and how I had a giant arse crush on her and was wondering what he thought.

         "Look, it sounds bad, but honestly, if you saw her, you'd do the same," I defended myself, whilst playing Call of Duty. "It's been two days since she came over to yell at me and I think it's safe enough to give her reason to yell at me again."

         I heard Kevin laughing through the speaker. "You sound like a creep, Y/N. Just leave the poor girl alone."

         I rolled my eyes playfully. "It's harmless, okay? She's beautiful. Is it wrong of me to want to admire that?"

         "You're insane," he decided, before laughing all over again.

         We continued playing until the match ended, and it was well-timed because I heard the knocking on my door. I excused myself from Kevin before tossing my gaming headset on the chair and heading to the door.

         When I opened it, Alycia was stood there, her arms crossed and her foot          tapping the floorboards angrily. Her lips were pursed and her jaw was clenched and damn, I was lost in a daze because she looked so cute in her onesie. Did she really think she was intimidating like that?

         "Hey, it's Alycia, right?" I played dumb, smiling sheepishly.

         She narrowed her eyes at me. "I'm really hoping you sat on the TV remote and the volume just happened to turn up."

         I snickered at the thought. "That would've been a really good excuse, huh?"

         Alycia rolled her eyes and uncrossed her arms. "Look, Y/N," I almost died at the way she pronounced my name with her adorable accent, "this is your last chance, alright? Just turn the damn volume down!"

         She sighed loudly before turning around and marching away. It looked funny though because she was dressed like a giant child and resembled a moody teen. I was, once again, lost in a daze as she marched down to her flat and slammed her door close.

         I closed my own door and skipped back to my seat, a love-struck smile on my lips. Her green eyes were implanted in my memory now and I already missed her. Even if she was yelling at me. God help me.

***

         The third time happened the next day. It was in the evening, after I'd eaten my dinner. I was playing Assassin's Creed this time and aside from the fact that I was trying to get the green-eyed girl's attention, the game also sounded sick on the speaker system. Like, damn, that bass though.

         The ever-so-familiar knocking was heard from my front door and I couldn't contain my smile as I skipped there, feeling butterflies in my stomach. When I pulled open the door, Alycia was stood there, arms crossed once again. She was wearing joggers and a tee, her hair in a messy bun with no makeup on. How did one look so beautiful like that?

         "One would almost think you're doing this on purpose now," she finally spoke, eyebrow quirked.

         I opened my mouth to retort with something witty, but I felt like the words were trapped and I couldn't speak. She rendered me speechless with her beauty and all I could do was stare at her with heart eyes.

         "Last chance, Y/N," she said threateningly, or at least I think she did. Her words were going in one ear and out the other. "Last chance."

         I managed to nod, wiping my clammy palms on the back of my joggers. "I'll lee you sater." I winced at how backwards my words came out. Okay, why was I suddenly so nervous?

         She didn't seem annoyed at this point, but rather confused. Her nose scrunched up ever-so-adorably and I swear my heart skipped a beat.

         "Err, goodbye, Y/N..." she trailed off, still confused. She turned around and headed to her own flat and I closed the door instantly, wondering why on Earth I was such an awkward human.

         The next time we met actually wasn't an intentional occurrence on my part. I was just strolling downstairs to the ground floor, looking to collect my mail from the lockers by the entrance when I saw her doing the same. When she heard my footsteps, she glanced over her shoulder to see who it was and rolled her eyes when she realised it was me.

         I stifled a smile and stayed silent as I unlocked my locker to collect my mail for the morning.

         "So, what are you, some computer game nerd?"

         I raised my eyebrows with surprise. She was actually speaking to me? Like, without wanting to yell at me?

         "Erm, what was that?" I looked up to see her looking through her mail, but she glanced at me frequently.

         "You're always playing video games, so what, are you a gamer or something?"

         A chuckle flew from my lips. "I guess so..."

         She raised her eyebrows and nodded, pursing her lips judgementally.

         "What is it?" I asked, my full attention on her now, a smile playing on my lips.

         She looked up fully and I tried not to feel intimidated by her intense stare. "Nothing. Explains a lot, but nothing."

         I grinned. "Like what?"

         She gave me a knowing look as she closed her locker. "Well, for starters, the whole volume thing."

         I smiled sheepishly.

         "There's also the fact that I've literally never seen you leave your flat apart from when you go to work in the morning and come back."

         I quirked an eyebrow teasingly. "You been keeping an eye on me, Alycia?"

         Her cheeks flushed a little as she cleared her throat and broke eye contact. "You know that's not what I meant– you know what? I should get going. Remember to keep your volume down, yeah?"

         And with that, I watched her walk away and tried not to melt into a puddle on the floor because of how good her figure looked in that sundress she was wearing.

***

         Having the volume high whilst playing video games that night honestly wasn't my intention. Okay, it may have started out as a way to get Alycia's attention, but I was grown (sort of) enough to know when to quit annoying someone. I genuinely didn't think the volume was high that night. But apparently it was because I ended up getting a knock on the door from none other than yours truly.

         "Look, I thought it was–"

         "Really? You're gonna use that on me?"

         I tried to prevent my jaw from dropping as I saw Alycia dressed up for the evening, looking as if she was going for a night out. A black dress hugged her curved perfectly and her long, luxuriant locks were curled and left out, framing her beautiful face. Looking her in the eyes was already a task because of how gorgeous they were, so you can imagine the difficulty of looking into her eyes when they were surrounded by dark eye makeup and eye liner, only making them stand out that extra bit more.

         "You are– you– you–" but I couldn't get the words out because holy shit she looked amazing.

         "I'm literally going out for the evening yet I can still hear your video games," she stated, her arms crossed over her chest with annoyance.

         I nodded as she spoke, but I wasn't even listening because her lips were painted red and god I was a gay mess.

         "...and I've tried the nice way, but you don't seem to be listening, Y/N..."

         "Yes, go on..."

         Her accent, god, she could read the bloody dictionary to me and I would listen.

         "...so I hate to do it, but it's done now..."

         "Mhm..."

         Seriously, how was I lucky enough to live next to a goddess?! I definitely needed to stop pissing her off if I was to have any chance with her. But her yelling at me was too hot for my own good...

         "...which is why I rang our landlord and scheduled a meeting with us all tomorrow morning."

         I nodded, "Yes... wait, what?!" My eyes widened as I zoned back into the conversation.

         She rubbed her arms protectively as she glanced down at her feet with guilt. "I called the landlord. It's the only way you're going to listen."

         I chewed on my lower lip, cursing myself out in my head. I guess I got myself into this one.

         "I should get going or I'm going to be late... I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N."

         She offered a small smile before leaving, and being the idiot I am, I simply stood there, shaking my head, wondering why I was so stupid.

         The following morning, I found myself sitting in my landlord's office along with Alycia. The two of us were sat opposite Mrs. Khan like two teenagers caught up in the headteacher's office at high school.

         "Miss Debnam-Carey here has claimed that you refuse to keep your TV volume lowered during the evenings, Miss Y/L/N... is this true?"

         I smiled awkwardly. "Refuse is such a strong word..."

         Mrs. Khan raised an eyebrow, not the slightest bit amused. "Is your volume loud or not, Y/N?"

         I bit my lip as I raised my hand, showing a small gap between my forefinger and thumb. "Maybe like a smidge..."

         Mrs. Khan sighed and rubbed her temples as if she'd rather be anywhere but here right now. "Look, Y/N. Alycia here just wants to sit in her flat without hearing your video games. And I'm sure you'd appreciate the lack of interruptions and complaints from her as you play."

         I shrugged, mumbling, "Well actually it's not all that bad–" Mrs. Khan glared at me, forcing me to straighten up in my seat and fix her a smile. "Yeah, you're right. No interruptions."

         She forced a smile. "Exactly. So what I'm hoping you'll do from here on out is be more courteous towards the other people in this building."

         "It's literally only her who's complaining, but–" Another glare forced me clear my throat and smile with fear. "Yeah, courteous, got it."

         "Great." She narrowed her eyes at me before smiling at Alycia for real. "Alycia, once again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused here. If things do continue to get out of hand, know things will be taken care of appropriately."

         Alycia smiled her million dollar smile and nodded. "I appreciate it, Mrs. Khan, thank you."

         Mrs. Khan nodded kindly before fixing me with a stoic expression. "Do you have something to say to Alycia, Y/N?"

         Now I really felt like I was in high school again. But nonetheless, knowing I was being a bit inconsiderate, I looked to Alycia and smiled awkwardly.

         "Uh, sorry for all the noise and stuff. Won't happen again."

         Alycia seemed as awkward as I did, but she nodded anyway and smiled with embarrassment.

         "Right, if that's all..." Mrs. Khan stood up, practically ushering us out of her office.

         Alycia and I left as she wished and were left standing outside in the corridor, an uncomfortable silence between us. Well, that was until:

         "Didn't think you had it in you to be honest."

         Alycia quirked an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

         I pointed a finger over my shoulder, to Mrs. Khan's door. "Calling the landlord and everything. Didn't think you had it in you. Good on you."

         I patted her on the shoulder before walking away.

         "Wait, what are you doing? Why are you acting like you won here?" She caught up to me in her heels and stopped in front me, making me stop, too.

         She looked very confused which made me smile cheekily. "What do you mean? I just said good on you for calling Mrs K on me. This isn't a competition."

         Alycia narrowed her eyes and those gorgeous green eyes studied me up and down, making me a little nervous in my own skin.

         "How do you do that?"

         "You've lost me."

         She sighed with exasperation. "That! Make it like you've won this thing between us!"

         I laughed. "Don't know what you're on about, darling. You won this. I won't be playing my video games very loud anymore. Isn't that what you wanted?"

         She seemed unsatisfied as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Yes..."

         "Then, 'til next time, Alycia," I said with a grin, and I threw in a wink (that honestly surprised myself) before leaving her be.

         "This isn't over!" I heard her call from behind me.

         I laughed again, glancing over my shoulder to see her with flushed cheeks. It was amusing to see how quickly the tables had turned.

         "Didn't know we started anything to be honest," I called back, before leaving for good.

         Maybe seeing her around would call for some new entertainment around here...

[toloveawarlord]

Edgar x Joanna “Midnight Escapades”

You can find my masterlist in my bio!

Okay, so I skipped day 2 and went straight to today because genderbent jonah and some smut. Today’s theme was Eavesdropping so this is what happened.

Warning: Smut under the cut

Lights out never meant that the officers of the Chosen 13 would be complete with their tasks for the day. It served simply as a reminder of how late the hour had become. Silent steps against the plush carpet. The jack of hearts having just returned from a late-night errand. He was used to having no set sleep schedule, but still a yawn found its way out of him.

Off to bed, then.

But he paused mid-step, the sweetest sound slipping out of the Queen’s chamber. Her angelic voice gliding through the darkened hallway, like a siren guiding him into her clutches. Nothing could have broken his concentration on following to the source.

The bathroom door in her quarters had been left cracked open as well. Candles were lit, illuminating her porcelain skin in golden light. The steam rising from the bath water that covered her naked body, up to where the tops of her breasts peeked out from under the floating rose petals.

Joanna had her eyes closed, head resting back against the edge of the tub, still humming a beautiful tune. Mint locks pulled up into a bun to keep it dry, her exposed neck begging to be kissed and marked.

Leaning against the doorframe without a sound, Edgar battled himself. Interrupting her would surely be quite entertaining, and her reaction would be most delicious. Yet, he could not bring himself to. She held him captive without even realizing.

Time passed, and Edgar couldn’t recall how long he’d stood there listening to her humming and seeing glimpses of her exquisite body under the steamy water. When she grew silent, he made his move. Disposing of his army jacket silently on the ground, he snuck over to her.

How far would he get before she noticed his presence? He knelt beside the tub, quiet as a statue.

“Took you long enough,” Joanna said, amber eyes falling on him. Her brows were pulled together, and she brushed her bangs away from her forehead. “I don’t particularly like to be kept waiting.”

Edgar flashed a smile at her. “My apologies. My errand lasted longer than expected.” Gracefully removing his gloves and setting them beside him on the ground, Edgar finally allowed himself to touch her.

Caressing her cheek for a moment, his hand slid around to the back of her neck. He gently pulled the Queen to him, bringing her lips to his. The water sloshed over the edge, yet neither broke the heated kiss.

Joanna hummed into his lips, like she’d found the perfect cure to take away all the worries from the day. Winding her arms around his neck, she cared not if she got him wet or not. She desired to be closer to him. “Edgar.” His name fell from her lips filled with need her for him.

Edgar needed no other invitation. Dipping his arms down into the nearly scalding water, he easily lifted the Queen of Hearts up into his embrace. The bed much too far away, he set her on her feet, capturing her lips in another breathtaking kiss.

Jade iris’s locked onto the place where he wanted to take her. The candles blocked some of the counter, but one open spot left would suffice. He could hardly let her get away with how she’d drawn him in with that little rouse.

Joanna squeaked as her body was turned away from him, her back pressed up against his chest. “What are you doing?” Her voice wavered, clearly showing that she hadn’t been finished with being the tease.

Gliding his fingertips up her wet stomach, he cupped her breasts. “Getting a nice view, of course. Now neither of us will miss out,” he said, dipping his head down to trace his tongue over the shell of her ear, earning a shiver from her body.

Her eyes met his through the mirror and she frowned slightly, but Edgar did not relent. Instead he pinched both her pert nipples. Her gasp mingled with pain and pleasure was a heavenly sound.

“Did I surprise you?” His hot breath and skilled hands had her writhing against him.

Joanna licked her tongue across her parted lips. More. It was certainly not enough. Her delicate hand took one of his, guiding him down between her legs. “Of course not. Make yourself useful.” Her typical haughty tone came off much softer and desperate than she intended.

Edgar placed a kiss to her neck, scraping his teeth lightly against the mark he’d made. “We have the entirety of the night. There is no need to rush. Allow me to indulge myself in you.” Feather light touches of his fingertips across her inner thighs, not quite giving in to her demand.

“I’d prefer you without that uniform.”

His light chuckle reverberated against her back. “This is what you wanted wasn’t it?” He peppered kisses up her neck. “That’s why you left your main door unlocked at such a late hour. Why you cracked the bathroom door just enough to draw me over to watch you completely vulnerable in the bathtub.”

Through the reflected mirror, her signature pout formed on her lips, but her blushed cheeks gave her away.

“I believe when the Queen becomes so naughty, she should be thoroughly punished with unending pleasure.” He bit down onto the tip of her ear, eliciting more sighs of desire from her pink lips. “Anyone could have walked in here on you. That thought makes me dreadfully jealous.”

Joanna pushed her hips forward, making his fingers slide over her pussy. She ached for his touch. “I’m not so careless that I would have left this up to chance.”

“So, you waited for me to return?”

Her head bobbed in response. “And you came, just as I knew you would.” Shifting her weight to get some friction from his fingers, her amber eyes narrowed when he pulled away.

Edgar tugged at the ribbon holding up her mint locks and let them cascade down her porcelain, dainty back. He hummed in response. The game having been started long before he had actually arrived.

The Queen of Hearts shivered as he ran his hands up her back and to her shoulders, gently massaging as they went. Her body easily bent forward with his guidance, chest pressed down against the chilled marble countertop.

“If only the army knew of how naughty their Queen could be.” Edgar gave her ass a light smack. He was the only one who had seen this side of her, the part of her that desired for the less elegant sex.

Joanna turned her head to glare at him. “You-”

“Ah ah-” Edgar tilted his head to the side. “You have a perfectly good mirror to use. I want you to see what your lovely features express with the pleasure only I can give you.” He kept true to his words, not laying a finger on her until she had turned her head back.

Her eyes nearly rolled back into her head as his tip teased her wet cunt, slowly entering her. Lips parted, desperate breaths fogging up the glass before her. “No more teasing, Edgar. Give me what I want.”

Sinking fully into her, Edgar obliged. As much as he adored the way she was begging for him to ruin her, he loved to make her sing for him, a sound sweeter than the morning birds. Her frame lean, yet perfectly in shape. The epitome of sexiness.

Snapping his hips back and forth, her body rocked against the countertop, moans spilling over mingled with his name.

“Queen Joanna? Is everything alright? Your door was left open.” Footsteps approached the bathroom door.

Everything came crashing down. The Queen of Hearts ready to lecture the poor soldier on entering her quarters without her express permission.

His timing could not have been worse.

The third party having invaded their time together, just as she had been about to spill over into that heavenly bliss.

“Get out,” she snapped, voice crisp and firm. A soft whine slipped out from her parted lips. Her lover having stilled his movements, but still buried deep within her aching cunt.

“Can I get you anything? You sound ill?” The soldier came closer to the bathroom door, as if he had the audacity to come in.

Joanna narrowed her eyes at the man still gripping her hip and languidly rubbing two fingers over her sensitive clit. Thorough amusement on his features.

“That is an order. Leave my quarters at once,” she half shouted. Edgar snatched her hand when she tried to remove his own, bringing it up to his lips for a soft kiss.

His didn’t speak but those jade irises taunted her, as if saying that he would not stop torturing her for even a moment. I told you so, written on his upturned lips.

The soldier apologized and abruptly left, muttering to himself about how odd Joanna had sounded. Surely, tomorrow, her regime of soldiers would question her about her health.

Her amber eyes fell on him once again. “Who said you could stop?”

Edgar chuckled, making slow thrusts to wind her up once again. “Surely you didn’t want us to get caught, did you? Or are you just that desperate for me, Joanna?” He gripped her hips once again, giving one hard thrust forward.

Through the mirror, he caught a glimpse of her striking eyes, trembling lips. Her desperation growing so strong that Edgar thought she might begin to cry, yet she did not. Sexual frustration turning into an angry glare.

“Cum for me, my Queen.” His hot breath against her ear and sharp movements mixed with his fingers running hard against her swollen clit only took mere seconds to topple her over.

Edgar would never grow tired of her beautiful features losing control as she succumbed to her orgasm. She rose up to the balls of her feet, legs shaking as her nerves spread pleasure throughout her entire being. The most wonderfully sweet moan of his name, like it was the only word she could ever speak, spilled from her lips over and over.

Her walls tightened around his cock, sharing her own pleasure by giving him his. Edgar pulled out to spill his cum over her thighs, grunting softly as he did so.

Joanna rolled back down to be flat on her feet again. “It seems I’ll be needing another bath. You’ve gone and gotten me all dirty again.” She slid her fingers over her own thighs, bringing them up to her lips and licking his cum off them.

“Did I imply that I was finished with you, My Queen?” He mused the question, tongue darting over his lips as he observed her sucking on her fingers so dutifully with her tongue.

Joanna took a moment to steady her shaking body before reaching up to twist her hand in the material of his collar. “I never dismissed you either, did I?” Her amber eyes were narrowed in unsatisfied lust.

“No, ma'am,” Edgar didn’t hide the smirk that tugged at his lips. How could she still carry that proud Queen of Hearts aura when completely exposed to him.

Releasing his collar, her hand traveled down to undo the buttons of the pale-yellow shirt. Rising to her tiptoes, she nearly slid on the wet marble floor. With him to catch her, she managed to capture his lips with her own. “I’m sure the water is still very warm.” Her voice whisper filling the small space between their parted lips.

“Is that a request to join you?”

Popping the final button with skilled dainty fingers, she slid her hands up his bare chest, feeling his warm skin on her chilled hands. “It’s an order, Edgar.”

His damp shirt hit the floor with a wet thud.

“Get these off,” Joanna demanded, tugging at the band of his uniform pants. Her eyes reflecting the same carnal desire to continue their exploration of each other’s bodies.

Edgar brought her hands up to his lips, brushing kisses across her knuckles. “Anything you desire, Joanna.”

Not my original plan... but it turned out pretty damn good anyways. Tagging my partner in crime @plumpblueberry  for her support in letting these two get their sexy time together.

[timelordthirteen]

Some Other Time - Part 7/??

Mr. Gold/Lacey French, Explicit

Summary: College student Lacey dumps her boyfriend and needs a new apartment, it just so happens her professor, Dr. Gold, has a room to rent.

Chapter Summary: After the holidays, the tension is getting to Lacey and Gold, but of course something gets in the way before they can act on it.

Notes: IT HAS BEEN 84 YEARS. So sorry it's taken forever to update this, or anything really. Hopefully this is me getting out of my slump. Don't hate me.

[AO3]

“Don’t let me interrupt.”

Lacey’s eyes went wide and she jerked against the couch cushion, her hand stilling between her legs.

Gold stepped into the small living space that was the top floor of his house with a bemused expression, and slipped a key into his pocket. Gasping, she pressed her thighs together and scrambled for the throw blanket on the back of the sofa to cover herself, but the blanket wasn’t there. Her face flushed. All her confidence in his attraction to her had gone out the window now that he was here, but she forced herself to hold his gaze as he came towards her.

Like most things in her life, Lacey’s plans for seducing Gold over the holidays hadn’t gone as planned. Christmas had been lovely, and Neal’s presence in the house brightened the place considerably. Gold had been more jovial than Lacey could have ever imagined, but Christmas morphed into New Year’s, and somewhere in those first few days of January the festive feelings ebbed. Neal left, and it was back to life and school, days that seemed to drone on forever in the dark, cold days of winter.

She wasn’t sure how it had happened, but suddenly it was February and nothing had changed. The frustrations of day to day life, living in proximity to Gold but never truly with him, was getting to her, so much so that she’d skipped out on office hours today, something she almost never did, and came home early. He must have wondered if something was wrong and come looking for her.

Whatever it was that brought him here, she was more than grateful.

Gold stopped just in front of her and flipped his cane up, holding it by the shaft instead of the handle. Then he lowered it to her knee and pressed the handle gently against her skin on one side and then the other, urging her to open her legs. “I meant what I said. Don’t let me interrupt.”

She licked her lips and spread herself open, sliding her fingers through her slit with a wet, slick sound. Her mouth fell open on a long, low moan as she moved over her clit, lightly trailing over the little nub. He watched, enraptured, his lips parting slightly as she pressed her middle finger inside her pussy, using it to draw out more of her arousal.

Her eyebrows arched and she slumped a little lower on the sofa cushion. “You wanna watch me fuck myself, Professor Gold?”

The words forced his eyes from her cunt to her face. His cane was still between her legs, resting on her thigh, and she reached for it, wrapping her damp fingers around it and pulling it up to her swollen folds. The shiny gold handle was cool on her fevered skin, and she let out a small gasp as it pressed against her, allowing her eyelids to flutter closed. The handle was a perfect fit, the lower part teased her entrance while the gentle curve rested against her clit.

She guided the cane up and down, sliding through her slit with a sloppy wet sound, and pulling a long low moan from her throat. He was still holding the other end and after a few movements, she could feel added pressure and opened her eyes to find him focused intently on her.

Gold’s jaw was clenched tight and he swallowed hard before he pulled the cane away. She let out a small, whimpering noise as the stimulation ceased and felt her pussy tense, empty and unsatisfied. The cane rose up and his head tilted as he offered it to her parted lips. Without a moment's hesitation, she leaned forward and licked her essence from the smooth brass, smirking when he made a noise just as desperate as her own.

He dropped the cane to the side and fell to his knees, crawling forward the last foot until he was between her spread legs. His hands were even warmer than her skin as they moved up her thighs, pushing them apart as he bent his head.

Lacey keened and arched her back as Gold’s hands slid beneath her, cupping her backside to lift her to his mouth as he tormented her with soft, patient licks. His tongue swept through her over and over, caressing like the gentle kiss of a lover and not the rough passion she desired. He was teasing, drawing out her pleasure, and tears leaked from the corners of her eyes as she squeezed them shut, her leg coming up over his shoulder to curl and press at him, urging him to give her more. One hand slipped into his hair and scraped at his scalp, pulling a moan from his throat as he gave her clit a hard flick of his tongue before he pulled away.

Her strangled cry of protest made him chuckle, and she looked down to see him gazing up at her, his mouth smirking and shining.

“What do you want, Lacey?”

She pressed her lips together as he brought one hand up to cup her mound. A finger nudged at her pussy, circling her entrance and taunting her with the thought of being filled and fucked. She must have said the words out loud because a second later, he pushed two fingers inside her and curled them, shifting until she swore and lifted her hips, signaling that he’d found the right spot to make her lose her fucking mind. His mouth returned, lips closing around her clit and suckling while he slid his fingers deeper.

Lacey’s orgasm hit with force and she rolled to the side with a sharp, choked sound, clenching her legs together. She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut as her body throbbed around her fingers. The fantasy slipped away with the rush of breath through her nose, and the reality she was left with made her feel empty in spite of the pleasure still thrumming in her veins.

After a few minutes, she pushed herself up and wiped her sticky hand on her t-shirt. She stood up and made her way to the bathroom to turn on the shower, pushing the faucet to the hottest setting. Steam rose up around her as she peeled off her clothes and dropped them to the floor.

The scenario replayed itself in her mind, especially the part where she’d imagined licking her juices off the handle of his cane. Unfortunately, Gold would never barge into her space and catch her, and everything her facsimile of him did would probably having him blushing from his ears to his toes. There was a better chance of her stumbling in on him, but even that seemed a bit too far-fetched. With a sigh, she stepped into the hot spray and grinned at the thought of what she might do if the fantasy was reversed.

“Don’t let me interrupt.”

Gold froze. His eyes went wide as Lacey sauntered across the room, her hips swaying sinfully in her leather mini skirt. He glanced down and covered himself with his hands, attempting to hide the tented front of his trousers. Cringing, he shifted closer to the desk, hoping that if he put a physical barrier between them it would somehow save him from further embarrassment.

She’d told him this morning that she would be covering an evening lecture for Professor Vincent. He hadn’t expected her home until after eight, yet here she was, walking into his office, fresh out of his naughtiest dream. Her lips twitched as she came around the corner of the desk, and he bit back a noise as he tried to slide his chair out of the way.

“Need some...assistance, Dr. Gold?” Lacey leaned towards him, one hand planted on the desk, the other reaching for the arm of his chair. Her eyes trailed down to where he cupped his erection, and she licked her lips slowly.

“Lacey...” he said, his voice more breathless than he would have liked. “I’m - I -”

His words halted when she met his eyes, her teeth dragging over her bottom lip, shiny and red with what looked like fresh lipstick. “I can see that,” she replied, shifting off the desk and dropping to her knees.

Gold felt his chair turn and he let his eyes shut for a moment. When he opened them, Lacey was between his legs, her hands pressing over his trousers as they slipped up to his hands. She gave him a small squeeze, her thumbs rubbing back and forth over his skin as she eased them away from the erection straining against his zipper.

“Please,” he said, wincing and refusing to see her face. He didn’t want to see the mockery or rejection that he knew would be there. “Lacey you - you don’t -”

“I want to,” came her soft reply, and he swallowed hard and looked down. Her expression seemed almost shy, and she was biting at her lip again, but in a more uncertain way.

He blinked. “You do?”

Lacey grinned devilishly and started to pull his belt free of its buckle as she hummed an affirmative. “Have for a while, but I never caught you in the right moment.”

She freed his cock and stroked him up and down softly. He groaned, any further words dying on his lips as she took him in her mouth. His eyes glazed over as he watched her sink slowly down his shaft. She stopped when the head of his cock hit the back of her throat, her lips pressed tightly around him, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he focused on the feeling of her hot mouth dragging back up his length.

One of her hands wrapped around the base of his cock where her lips couldn’t quite reach and the other pressed against his hip to keep him from thrusting upwards. She swirled her tongue and hollowed out her cheeks, tearing a whimpering cry from his throat as he fought to keep himself still, his knuckles white as he gripped the arms of the chair. The wood creaked sharply as his hips lifted, and she pulled away.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, his head lolling back as her hand took over, slipping up and down, spreading a mix of saliva and precum with her fingers.

“Do you want to fuck my mouth, Dr. Gold?”

Gold sat up, eyes wide, and licked his lips. She was gazing up at him almost innocently, an absurd notion given that her hand was wrapped around his cock. Her fingers tightened, squeezing him hard and drawing a long, low moan from his throat.

“You can,” she said, smiling and leaning over his lap. Her mouth hovered over his cock, warm breath teasing as her tongue flicked lightly at the head. “Let go, Rum. Just let go.”

His eyelids fluttered and he groaned loudly as she slipped him back in her mouth and holding him lightly in her lips. He lifted up experimentally, pushing a little further inside. She moaned and scraped her nails against his thigh, and it was enough to have him right on the edge of coming undone. He could feel it building as he thrust into her mouth, faster and faster. The slick slide of her hand and lips, the roughness of her tongue, was too much to take.

Gold cried out and bent forward, cupping his hand around his cock as he pressed it against his belly. Spurts of cum soaked into the fabric and slipped between his fingers, warm and sticky, as he panted and tried to catch his breath. Eventually he sat back in his chair, grimacing at the mess on the front of his shirt, and reached for the tissue box on the corner of his desk to clean himself before heading upstairs to shower and change.

He both loved and hated that particular fantasy. It felt dirty and wrong to think of Lacey that way, to use her body for his pleasure, to imagine all the filthy things she might say and do. Yet the idea that she would want him to, that she would want him at all, was too tempting to resist. Despite what Neal had tried to convince him of over Christmas break, Lacey was just a friend, and someday, if she stayed at the university, she would be a colleague when she finished her studies. He was happy to provide her a place to live, but he feared that his desires might get in the way of all that if it went on much longer.

Perhaps, he thought, it was time to discuss other living arrangements with Miss French.

Lacey hitched her bag further up on her shoulder as she made her way down the hall.

She took a deep breath, smiling to herself at the scent of old wood and varnish and paper. The old building that housed the offices of the History and English departments had that same comforting smell of a library. It pulled at something inside her, the unnameable thing that drew her to words on a page, to museums, to art, to all of it.

Her hair swayed as she shook her head. The last day had been strange. She’d stepped out of the shower after her little masturbatory fantasy with a sense of purpose. She liked Gold, and she was ready to put it out there, albeit gently. Dinner, just the two of them, somewhere that wasn’t his kitchen or their shared house, somewhere with those little votive candles sitting on white tablecloths. It had made her sappy, sentimental, even hopeful.

Turning the corner at the end of the hall, she made her way through the double doors that separated the department director’s office from the rest of the space and then stopped suddenly. The secretary was gone for the day, but that wasn’t unusual for after five on a Thursday.

What was weird was the sound coming from Gold’s office.

It was English and high-pitched, with a trilling laughter that grated on Lacey’s ears. She frowned and stepped softly towards the half open door. Coming around the side, she peered into the room and nearly dropped her backpack.

“Oh, Rumford - can I call you Rumford, darling?”

Gold glared at the woman intruding on the quiet solace of his office in the evening. “No.”

Zelena was only momentarily taken aback. “Dr. Gold then?” she asked, running her fingers along his forearm. “You like a little...formality?”

He shifted and tried to pull away from her, but the space was small and he was trapped between her and a stack of books he’d meant to reshelve weeks ago. He didn’t mind a little clutter, especially when it was books and artifacts he’d picked up on his travels, but he was extremely cross with himself for not having cleaned up sooner. Although faced with the prospect of more uncomfortable conversation with Zelena Green or knocking twelve first editions to the floor, he knew what he’d pick.

The way she said his name made his skin crawl, and he shivered in spite of the stuffy warmth of his office. “I don’t like anything,” he snapped, throwing her another sideways glance.

She laughed, and he had to close his eyes at the irritating noise.

“Oh, come now,” she said, leaning far too close for comfort. Her breath was warm on the shell of his ear and it made his stomach turn. “I’m sure there are plenty of things you like. Maybe I could try to find a few of them...”

Her eyebrows lifted and her grin widened, showing him a flash of teeth . She looked like was going to eat him alive, and he twisted abruptly in his chair. The motion caught her knee and sent her tumbling, while behind him the stack of books thumped to the floor. On instinct, he reached out and caught her by the arm, which resulted in her being pulled into his lap.

He grunted as she came down on his bad leg, causing the muscles to tense and sending a jolt of pain through to his foot. Inside his shoe, his toes cramped, and he rocked backwards. Zelena went with him, bracing her hands on his shoulders and bringing her face entirely too close to his.

There was a noise in the doorway and they both turned their heads to see Lacey standing there. Her eyes were wide, and Gold swallowed.

“Well,” Lacey managed, pausing to lick her lips as a sick feeling rose up in her gut. “Don’t let me interrupt.”

Gold mouth opened to say something, but he didn’t have a chance as Lacey turned and left.

[angelkurenai]

Sleepless nights - Steve Rogers x Reader

Title: Sleepless nights

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Being the adopted daughter of the one and only Tony Stark, after your parents’ death, has both its perks and drawbacks, like getting to know Captain America himself. However, no matter how close you are, whenever you try to have some alone time with the supersoldier someone seems to be ready to interrupt. So when you find him alone in the gym one night, you decide to take the chance. Only you don’t know his pent up frustration has a lot to do with you.

Staying up till late at night had disadvantages and more often than not cause a lot of trouble. Whether it would be arguing with Tony or more like being lectured by your father-figure that you weren't getting enough sleep and how unhealthy it was to work till late at night – look who's talking – or making careless mistakes during missions, because of lack of sleep, that ended in you getting hurt pretty bad sometimes and in the end getting the 'I told you so' look from Tony and other members of the team; or even worse sometimes the concerned look in Steve's baby blue eyes that just broke your heart, knowing you put him through such worry. 

You weren't an Avenger but your knowledge in technology and all of the things that Tony had taught you over the years, from helping in making all the suits to hacking in systems not even FRIDAY could, came in handy more often than not. Not to mention that once in a while you loved being there and seeing the Avengers in action, alright maybe Steve a little more than the others.

Steve. Steve Rogers. Captain America. Friend. And above all, the man that stole your heart from the first moment you met. Not to mention the biggest advantage of staying up till late at night. The only perk other than getting your job done, was walking by the training rooms to see the shoulders flex underneath his shirt as he kept punching the punching bag in front of him. You got carried away admiring for a full minute, not a surprise there and not the first time either, but this time at least you weren't on edge thinking someone might catch you, because nobody else apart from you and Steve (apparently) was awake at this time of the night.

It was so easy for this man to distract you even with the smallest thing. You bit your lip, glancing around the small hallway in case somebody was around, luck wasn't with your side whenever you wanted to be alone with the super soldier, so if this was your chance you weren't going to let it slip.

“I never took you for a night owl, Stevie.” you said in a soft voice so as not to startle him, when you entered the training room.

The man paused, turning to look in your direction before a small adorable smile graced his lips that made your knees go weak “Trust me, I surprise myself sometimes too.”

Your smile only got bigger, not just because of his one, but also because if his back could have you staring then his sweaty front side had you gawking “Seems like you were going hard on that punching bag, makes one wonder whose face you were picturing.” you said with a smirk that made him let out a soft laugh.

“If you are implying Tony because of what happened today at the mission, I'll admit that he made me see red but no, not to that extend.” he walked towards you, unwrapping the gauze from his hands “We don't always see eye to eye, but that's how we work I guess.”

“Hey, nobody's gonna blame you if you were picturing his face! I know I do sometimes.” you confessed with a sly smile that made a beautiful chuckle leave his lips.

“You do huh?” he raised an eyebrow and you nodded your head.

“I love dad, but sometimes he's so infuriating he's just asking for it.” you shrugged.

“Dad huh?” he breathed out and you gave him a small nod and smile “I'm glad that you've gone on that level with him, now. Infuriating or not, he's a good man and he does see you as his daughter. He cares about you like a father would, and that's something we all can see. Whether you're adopted or not, you're more family to him than blood relation can go.”

“Tony was...” your smile fell as your eyes casted down “He was the only one I had when my parents died. My whole world crumbled down when I realized that the people closest to me where gone and they weren't coming back. He supported me so much on an emotional level, helped me through my nightmares, through my anxiety attacks, he-” you blinked away the tears, looking up when you felt his hand on your shoulder “He stood by my side like a real father, not just because they were old friends or because he decided to take me in, but because he was really there for me, I really think he deserves it. He was the only one I had when everything fell apart around me and now... I have you too.”

“You always will have me. For anything that's worrying you or troubling you, I'm- I'm here for you.” he said in a soft whisper “I-” he cleared his throat, looking down before adding “I know what it's like to lose everything you knew, to have to deal with nightmares and have nothing to grasp onto for sanity.”

Your heart did a small drop, thinking that this was just Steve being the sweetheart he was to everyone and not because you more special to him than others “Is that why you're here tonight? Trying to grasp onto some sanity?”

Or at least so you thought, because in his eyes you were far more than just what you gave yourself credit for.

He cleared his throat, looking away from you while his hand fell and he rubbed the back of his neck almost nervously “You could say that, I guess.”

“You know-” you took hold of his hand before he could turn away from you, surprising mostly yourself than him “If anything, anything at all, is bothering you then I need you to know I am here for you as well, Steve. You can talk to me without fear, I will understand everything... At least, I'll try my best to.”

“Believe me, I know that. And you have no idea how important it is to me.” he gave you a breath-taking smile before, although hesitantly, he leaned down to kiss your cheek surprising the both of you. You were sure that the red tht tinted his cheeks matched that of yours but you both had two wide grins that were just impossible to hide.

“Alright-” you cleared your throat, still smiling “Until you feel like talking about any of the things troubling you, how about you let out your pent up frustration another way hm?”

“What?” he blinked, his eyebrows raising in surprise and his eyes slightly widened.

“What?” you asked back, tilting your head to the side , narrowing your eyes at him.

“I-” he shook his head “What did you mean?”

“Some combat. I'm not the best at it but I can hold a fight... or at least so I'd like to believe. You could always teach me a couple new things.” you giggled softly and he cleared his throat, nodding his head.

“Oh” he breathed out “Ye-yeah, of course. I guess it could come in handy at some point.”

“Especially if dad keeps getting on my nerves like this.” you grinned, starting to take off your long hoodie “Don't worry about hurting me though. You can go as rough as you want, I can- You ok?” you stopped yourself, giving him a curious look when you noticed he was staring quite wide-eyed.

“I'm- Yeah I'm alright.” he blinked, clearing his throat but still looking away.

“Are you sure?” you asked with a small smirk, always loving when he got bashful around you. A man who usually towered over everybody else, broad shoulders and big arms that could rip a log in half – and he had – could get so shy around you so easily and act like a teen in front of their crush. Or at least you wished.

“Yeah, of course. Alright, so what would you like to learn?” he asked, and the way he looked so intensely in your eyes made you raise an eyebrow. It was almost as if he was forcing himself to focus on your face and not- Oh. Oh!

“I-” you tried to fight the grin “Am I making you uncomfortable Steve?”

“No, not at all. Why would you say that?” he tried to play it cool but it was so obvious how flustered he was that it just made your heart skip another beat.

“Oh I don't know, I'm just guessing.” you shrugged “Sorry by the way, for the clothes. Dad likes the AC to work on max down in the labs sometimes but in my room it's usually warmer so keeping some shorts and a tank-top underneath the hoodie is always the best option. I thought you'd have gotten used to seeing women exposing much more skin in 2018.”

“No, no yeah of course I am. That's not it.” he shook his head, because it was true after all. He was used to that, more than he thought he'd be, but he was and could not get used enough to your body being so exposed around him or the way that made him feel to be as comfortable as he was with other women.

“Then what?” you took a step closer to him, noticing how he scooted back subtly. This time the move not making your heart ache the way it usually would because you understood very well the reason behind it.

“Steve...” you started in a soft voice, trying to fight the smile from your lips “Is there something you're not telling me?”

“What?” he frowned, blinking “Oh, no. No everything is alright. I'm just... troubled and worried, from the mission is all.” he knew he was lying through his teeth and he hoped you bought it but how could he ever tell you the whole truth?

He couldn't put that kind of truth into words, not even when he was alone, not to mention when he was facing you. How could he even say that he had come down to the training room after an ice-cold shower to find a way to get his mind off of you and all those so-not-appropriate thoughts and above all dreams he'd had about you that woke him up in the middle of the night? He couldn't say that.

“Stevie” you started, placing a hand on his arm and he instantly looked at you “I meant it when I said you can talk to me about anything.”

“And you really are the one I will always look for when I need to, you know it.” he gave you a small smile “B-But this one's different so it's better if you don't stress yourself out with my problems. I'll be alright, don't worry about me.”

“Yes, but-” you took another step closer to him, this time really surprising yourself with how daring you were “It will help get the weight of your shoulders, you know.”

“Or maybe ruin things for good.” he said back softly, worry in his eyes “And I can't afford that, I- I won't be able to take that.”

“Maybe. But maybe it could change things for the better. You won't know until you make the move.” you said softly, your hand sliding down to hold his and he gave your hand a squeeze.

“I- I just wanted-” but he didn't get to complete his sentence when another voice cut him off, and it wasn't yours.

“(Y/n) (Y/l/n)-Stark get your ass in the labs this moment before I come down there to take you myself.” Tony's voice echoed through the training room and it sounded just as pissed off as you'd expect from him. You all-but-jumped away from Steve before looking up at no particular wall because you didn't know where the cameras had been installed exactly.

“Oh and sorry for interrupting.” his voice was laced with sarcasm, making your blood boil.

“Are you spying on me or something now?” you crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at the wall.

“When you're forgetting to put clothes on, yes, yes I actually am.” his voice said back sassily and you rolled your eyes, mocking him childishly before he spoke up again “And don't roll your eyes on me, you hear me? Come here now.”

“And what if I say no?” you crossed your arms over your chest.

“(Y/n)” Steve warned softly, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“First of; hands off Rogers, I see you. Second; you either come here now or so help me, I have enough footage to blackmail you for the rest of your life.”

“Real mature, dad.” you muttered, but right before you could sass him back, Steve spoke to you gently.

“It's alright, (Y/n), really. We'll find another chance sometime.” he gave your shoulder a squeeze “Go. Knowing Tony he's going to keep his word.”

“I-” you sighed in defeat “I'm gonna burn those baby photos down.” you muttered before leaning in to kiss his cheek, despite Tony clearing his throat for you to hear “See you, Steve, maybe another time.”

“Oh I really hope not.” came your father's voice and you rolled your eyes, taking hold of your hoodie.

“Fuck you, dad.” you said loud enough for him to hear as you made your way to the door.

“Language!” you were surprised to hear from actually both of them but you just shrugged it off before you hurried to the labs.

And just as you expected you found a grumpy Tony Stark waiting for you there with his arms crossed over his chest as he said “Care to explain what was that?”

“Interesting, I was gonna ask you the same thing.” you shot back, after all these years you had started acting a lot more like him without realizing but despite how proud it made Tony, he now was only pissed.

“I could always see you had a thing for him but taking it this far? Really?”

“This far? Are you serious, dad?” you scoffed a laugh “We were just about to do some combat, Steve would teach me a couple moves. We weren't doing it in the middle of the training room because as you see I'm perfectly dressed considering it's the middle of freaking summer! When that happens it will be in my room or his, don't worry about it.” you shrugged casually but he choked on thin air, his eyes going wide.

“Oh shit my left side is going numb, shit I can't feel it. That's not normal, is it? It must be a heart attack, it needs to be.” he blinked and you rolled your eyes at how dramatic he was being “When did you even get to that part?!”

“We haven't but-” you shrugged casually again “We might. At least I hope, when I get the courage to tell him how I-”

“Hope?!” his eyes widened once more in just a couple minutes “Alright, that's it. Sit down, you and I need to have a talk.”

“You wanna talk? Fine, let's talk. But I'll give you a heads up: By the end of this conversation I will still tell you that I have feelings for Steve Grant Rogers and that is not going to change. Now-” you sat down on a chair, motioning for him to do the same “I'm listening.”

[badbadbucky]

Novelization of the scene between Klaus and Hargreeves in the Afterlife

Hey everybody, I’m trying a writing  exercise in which I novelize my favorite scenes from TV shows and movies in an effort to improve my prose writing. Below you’ll find the scene of Klaus and Reginald in the afterlife from the Umbrella Academy, the episode the Day That Was. I’d love to hear what you guys think!

Klaus stood on the dirt road in heaven. The mean little girl who was God pointed him toward a tiny cabin, practically a shack, under a water tower.

Sometimes, he and Dave had laid in a foxhole together, talking, and  praying they didn’t hear the pop of gunfire. Dave would tell him about his uncle’s cabin. All the summer’s he’d spent sleeping in a tent under the water tower, while his uncle slept off a few sixpacks inside.  The one that his uncle had promised to sell him once he got back home. Small, but cozy. Stacked with cans of soup and board games and mystery novels. Dave said that when they were back in the world they could stay in the cabin and never leave. Their whole world could be the cabin, the trees, and the water tower. If this was heaven then it was exactly as he’d hoped.

Klaus smiled for the first time in what surely must be a hundred years. Had he only lost Dave the day before? Not allowed to properly mourn. Forced to explain his pain only to find no one listening? But they were going to be together again. Dave was waiting for him.

He ran across the brambles and undergrowth in the clearing where the cabin and watertower sat. Just off the little dirt road.

“Dave!” He called. “Dave!” He’d pretended to be this excited a thousand times. He was a brilliant pretender, but he’d never been so genuinely excited to see someone. He’d never run to see someone unironically before. But it was Dave. Dave.

“Dave!” He burst through the door of the cabin to find himself inside an old fashioned barber shop.

He turned from side to side, taking in the empty barber shop, a little disoriented, a lot confused. The name of the shop, the Nite Owl Barber Shop, was painted on the outside of the window. A game played on the radio in the back room. The floor was black and white and checkered. No one in sight. Certainly not Dave. Was this something he had to go through to get to Dave? Or had he been had?

He tried not to feel too disappointed, otherwise it would overtake him. What did he expect?

Klaus climbed into one of the barber chairs. Seemed to be the thing to do. Maybe if he got through whatever this was he would get to see Dave. Fine. He’d play along.

Behind him the barber snapped a cape in the air to shake it out and then draped it over his neck. Klaus instinctively tensed as the barber pulled the cape tight and buttoned it around his neck. He turned but didn’t get a glimpse of the barber’s face.

Klaus sighed. Was the afterlife always this abstract?.

The barber hooked a hot towel under his chin and then draped it over his face, enveloping Klaus’s face in warmth with a hole in the center for breathing. It felt amazing.

Klaus let his head drop back. “Oh. Oh yeah. Feels so nice,” he said.

The barber turned the chair until Klaus was facing the mirror, though his vision was obscured by the towel. This wasn’t half bad.

The barber pressed the towel against Klaus’s face, releasing tension he hadn’t realized he was holding in his jaw.

Then. Then that familiar stern voice. That daft villain from a superhero cartoon, too posh by far, release the hounds accent. “What in God’s name took you so long?” And the hands were gone.

The tension was back in Klaus’s neck and shoulders before his brain even registered who the voice belonged to. The response was so automatic. Fear and defensiveness. He was glad the towel was still covering his face, it gave him time to put his mask back on before he slid the slowly cooling towel off his face, leaving his skin soft and warm.

“Dad.” The joy and the spark were gone from his voice, all that remained was thick voiced acceptance. If he’d hidden his face for longer then his dad would know he was weak.

So this was what God meant by “he.” Not Dave. No. Dear old dad. The old man. He already hated his powers every single day of his Goddamn life but on days like this one he hated them double. If he just sat here, through whatever it was the old man had to say, then maybe they could part ways and he’d never have to see him again.

Klaus tilted his eyes up as his father drew closer, already in full lecture mode, skipping all niceties. Always he skipped the niceties. All of this just so typical.

“I expected my son, who can conjure the dead, to have brought me forth days ago.”  Sir Reginald said. Always so gruff. Always so forthright. Strident.

Disapproval was an angle he could work with. He was used to his father being disappointed with him. Disapproving of him. It was a familiar dance. One he knew all the steps to if he’d allow himself to fall back into sense memory. He took a moment. A deep breath, then he said the first line of an old routine, the specifics may change but the song remains the same.

“Oh, yeah, well, you see, it’s complicated. I tried I-”He felt himself starting to whine but found he couldn’t help it.

Reginald brushed shaving cream over his face, covering his lips, cutting off whatever excuse he’s been about to give.

The fresh sharp bitterness of the cream hit his tongue, he blew out his lips trying to keep more cream from getting in his mouth, his eyes involuntarily squinched closed.

“I did, but-”

“You were poisoning yourself.” Reginald continued to brush the shaving cream onto Klaus’s face.

“What do you expect? You just died, I was beside myself with grief.” Neither of them believed that.

“Don’t you dare try to use me as an excuse for your weakness. “

“Oh right. Yeah. You had nothing to do with it.” He couldn’t believe he was actually saying all of this to his father. The things he’d been wanting to say for years. The things he’d practiced in a thousand roleplays in a thousand group therapy sessions in rehab, what he’d fallen asleep rehearsing in his mind, if he ever got the chance to have a real conversation with his father.  To tell him what he did. To try and make him understand what he’d taken from him. From his siblings.

“Locking me in a mausoleum with corpses when I was thirteen?” He was proud that his voice only wobbled once as he put baldly just exactly what it was his father had done to him. No more euphemisms. Calling it training or immersion therapy. He’d been locked in a mausoleum for hours, sometimes days on end, with the dark and the spirits, when he was just a kid.

His father pulled out a straight razor and looked at him with exasperation as he kept trying to put the blade to Klaus’s face to begin the shave, but Klaus was not going to be shut up. Not yet at least, no matter how much it annoyed dear daddy.

“No you’re right. It’s irrelevant.”

Once again his father tried to grab his face to scrape the blade across his skin. Klaus pulled back a bit, eyeing his father.

“Ah, ah, ah, careful, Dad,” he said. He didn’t actually care whether the old man nicked an artery but with Sir Reginald you scored points any way you could.

“Don’t worry,” Sir Reginald said, “You’re already dead.” He didn’t soften his tone, in fact the old bastard almost sounded gleeful, he seemed to know that the news wouldn’t bother Klaus.

And it didn’t. Klaus relaxed into the chair.  “Well. That’s a relief.” It was over. He only now realized that he wasn’t hurting. The shivers, the nausea, the crack in his skull. He felt good. His heart hurt, but he took that to be a permanent condition.

His father gently stroked the razor down his face. “You children like to blame everything on me.”

If there was a moment Klaus was convinced that this really was his dad and not a head injury induced hallucination this was it. However solipsistic and self-aggrandizing he remembered the old man to be, he was always blown away by the genuine article.  

Then came the words Klaus had been longing to say to his father his entire life and he wasn’t even enjoying it. “Well you were a sadistic prick.” He didn’t look at his father, just stared into the middle distance. He never imagined he would be so calm. “Not to mention the world’s worst father.”

“I just wanted you to live up to your potential.”

That bullshit might still work on Luther. And hell it may have even worked on Klaus at one time or another, but not now.

“You especially.” Reginald gestured at him with the razor. “You’re my greatest disappointment, number four.”

Well, at least he was number one at something.

“You only scratched the surface of what you are truly capable of.”

But what could his father possibly have expected from him? Wasn’t he the one who told him he was weak. Who ranked him dead in the middle. Everyone knows the middle isn’t special. That nothing great is expected from the middle of the pack. What was he capable of?

“If only you’d focused.”

“Wait wait wait wait wait, what, what potential?” Was his father really just going to blow past that one?

“No instead you just pump yourself full of poison.”

He was going to blow past it! Klaus wanted an explanation of his supposed potential but instead he got track six of Dad’s greatest hits. Say nope to dope.

“Because you’re...afraid. Afraid of what? The dark?” His father had a hold on the side of his face and it was starting to hurt.

Was he really going to have to explain for  the millionth time he was not afraid of the dark? He couldn’t. Not again. Dad had never listened in life. He sure wasn’t going to listen in death. Nothing was going to make a dent so he might as well get it all off his chest.

“You know, I suggest you get down off your high horse there, dear papa,” he pronounced the papa like a Victorian orphan, “you never had our best interests at heart. Look at your precious number one. Luther found all the unopened letters he sent you. He knows you sent him up to the moon for nothing.”

If there was anything that might get through to the old man it was that. Luther was his favorite. The only one who’d stuck by him. The one who sacrificed his mind, soul, and finally body at the altar of their father’s ego.

His father’s sharp gaze softened a bit. He looked a bit less like an angry cartoon owl and more like a person.

“That was foolish of me.”

Klaus’s eyes widened. He’d gotten through. The old man actually gave a shit! Maybe not about him, but about somebody.

“I should have burned it all.”

Klaus couldn’t help but laugh. Of course. Of course.  “That’s your take away.” Yes. The genuine article always blew him away.  “Oh. Wow. Yeah. Of course it is.”

His father grabbed the other side of his face and jerked it to the side to get a better angle as he continued to shave Klaus’s face. Harder than necessary, his fingers dug into the side of Klaus’s head. Klaus blinked in surprise at the pain, then his father loosened the grip.

“Not an ideal solution, I confess. Bu I knew that the world would soon need him. Need all of you. And I had to do what was necessary.”

Klaus crinkled his eyebrows. He could almost believe the old man.

The old man looked him in the eye. “Is he okay?”

Klaus held his gaze steady. He spoke flat and calm. “Do you care?”

“Everything I did. Everything I put you through. It was to prepare you. All of you. For something bigger than yourselves.”

Sir Reginald Hargreeves. Endeavoring to explain himself. Wonders never ceased.

“You never understood that.” Reginald continued.

They weren’t the only ones who never understood.

The razor scraped across the skin on his neck, clearing away the hair and cream.

“We were-” He paused. His father wasn’t going to listen to him. But he had to try and make him. He had to say it. He wasn’t strong enough like Luther. He wasn’t brave enough like Diego.  But he was the only one who could.

His dad continued to scrape the razor across his skin. Ignoring his son, sitting there, desperately trying to tell him something.

Klaus grabbed his father’s hand. Stopping him. Forcing his dad, the only one he ever had, to look at him.

Even though he could feel his voice cracking and feel his chin wobbling, the sure signs he was on the verge of tears, he said what needed to be said.

“We were just kids. Little kids.”

His father stared into his soul. “You were never just kids.”

That was that. He’d tried and he failed. His father would never see what he did to them. Not in the face of-

“You were meant to save the world.”

“Wait. Wait. So you knew all about this? About the apocalypse?” Klaus asked.

“I knew I had to bring you back together one way or another. The fate of the world depended on it.”

Klaus put the pieces together but his brain refused to articulate it. It was unthinkable.

“Why-What are you saying?” Klaus asked. Praying his father wouldn’t answer.

His dad carded his fingers through Klaus’s hair, brushing it back. The most physical contact they’d ever had and they were both dead. There was some small comfort in having his father’s hand resting on his head, but he couldn’t find solace in it. He couldn’t hide the dismay on his face, even if it made him look weak. If his father thought he was soft.

“The only way to get you all back together was something...momentous.”

“Wait. you.” A tear rolled down Klaus’s cheek. “You don’t mean...you killed yourself?”

The old man grunted. Confirmation.

“Oh Christ. You could never do things the easy way could you? You couldn’t have picked up a phone?”

“Would you have answered? “The old man asked.

Klaus opened his mouth and closed it. Probably not, but at least try it first. Suicide shouldn’t be plan A.

“Now listen to me number four.” Things were always serious when your parent used your full name. “What I am about to say is of great importance…”

And just like that his father faded away. Always had to have the last word.

The pounding music from the rave seeped through the walls of the barber shop. Oozing into his ears.

“No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. I can’t. No I can’t.” He cried, shaking his head, begging God, the universe, the little girl, anyone just let him stay, don’t make him go back. He was dead. He didn’t hurt. He could rest. He was going to find Dave. “I can’t go back!” His voice frantic. “No. Wait!” He squeezed his eyes shut.

And when he opened them he was back in the club. He shot up, gasping for air. The ravers surrounding him, convinced he was dead, all stepped back.

He was back. The music punctured his ear drums. He was freezing but also sweating. His head hurt and his brother was nowhere to be found.

[knightofbalance-13]

https://rampantlytyping.tumblr.com/post/174581718969/for-fuck-sake

“Oh, it gets worse. Because I’ve read the archives of KOB’s reddit account. (Link here for reference, someone may wanna archive this in case KOB pulls a Delete Fucking Everything)

Never before have I seen something that would backfire so hard.

First of all, I’d recommend a look at the very first comment on that Reddit account, which was a screed about FatManFalling’s Volume 3 review. So much of modern KOB can be traced back here- has hatred of the word “the” and insistence on trying to replace it with “teh,” his long paragraphs, condescending attitude and personal attacks/insults (Also, for the record, “Fatass” is one of the worst mocking nicknames I’ve ever see on Reddit).

Actually-

https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBY/comments/5jdst1/cowardly_lion_taiyang_fanfiction/

This is. Thing is: this would HUMANIZE me. But god knows you can’t think of your opposition as human.

First is mischaractization.

Second is not a moral argument.

Third is conflating me being angry with who I am normally.

And fourth is downplayed since this whole post is nothing BUT a personal attack.

Also: Never said I was clever.

There’s also this post after Volume 4 which is basically “So the RWDE tag sucks amirite?”

No, the title is what I meant.

But a relevant comment that Caddeter and @psyga315 should see is this one. I’ll quote it directly, emphasis mine at the end:

Backfire in 3...2...1

“Now I know many of you are thinking “Why should I care?”

Well, because these people are in a dangerous mindset of ignoring everything that isn’t their opinion and warping that to justify their feelings.

I gave a comment on this journal pointing out the flaws in his work. The closest thing I said to an insult was saying that his usage of the term “man-pain” was stupid in any context. And when I admitted I wasn’t aiming towards him but his audience who weren’t sure about V3’s finale, he blocked me, deleted my comments (EDIT: he’s admitted to being wrong about teh previous two and has restored my comments. Still blocked but I have a way around it that he knows) and warped my words. Something he claimed Miles and Kerry did, minus the last part.

I ask of you: Say what you think about this. And not just the journal, what you thought of Pyrrha’s death. Not what he said, not what I said. But what you want to say.

Now GO!”

Now, if I was a generous man, this in context could be KOB asking for discussion on the Reddit.

I am not a generous man. To me, it looks like KOB deliberately inciting the Reddit post-Volume 3 (when they were most protective of RWBY as it was the last season that Monty would have definitely worked on) and encouraging them to dogpile the journal author.

Yeah...

Three things:

A. The time period this was made is post Volume 4, Not 3. So that’s bullshit.

B. https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBY/comments/5khw9y/my_thoughts_on_pyrrhas_death_rwby_and_rt_by_jswf/dbo9z0v/

Oh hey look, there’s someone disagreeing witrh me and I ENCOURAGED them. So that’s also bullshit.

C. https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBY/comments/5khw9y/my_thoughts_on_pyrrhas_death_rwby_and_rt_by_jswf/dboysk7/

Okay everyone, I have to ask that no one goes to the link and comments. The author is getting too stressed out by his debate with me and I don't want him to break.

So please, keep your discussions here.

Outright contradicted. Three strikes, you’re out.

And the worst thing? He had no empathy to the situation. Quote (again, emphasis mine):

“Well, don’t fight him. He’s…not right in the head.

Like I was arguing with him and he…wanted to kill himself.

And I didn’t even try being mean.”

Remember that in the Deviantart comments, KOB said that he could be “far far far crueler.”

As evidence by this post, where I am going to turn EVERYTHING against you. https://comments.deviantart.com/1/619991269/4290345087?offset=25#comments “*Sigh* Look, I never meant for you to get this stressed out. Hell, I understand where your coming from. Thinking about killing myself is such a common occurrence now I'm not even fazed by it anymore. So putting aside my feeling towards you and your conduct, I want you to listen to what i have to say: Your life matters. No matter what you think I've said, no matter what other people have said, no matter what you say, your life matters. You have friends and family who love and care about you and if you kill yourself, all it will do is wound those around you. It's painful I know but it's true. The best thing you can do is seek help above all else. Trust me, psychiatrists maybe be expensive by by divinty' sake they are miracle workers. And I know you're sick of hearing about this anime but really, look up Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. That anime is a large part of why I get out of bed in the morning even thought I know there's a very good chance I'll choke to death on my breakfast, lunch or dinner or that my life probably doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. It taught me to keep moving forward no matter what I lose or what I suffer because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The journey is hard and long but it's worth it. I never intended on hurting you. Had I known you were this psychologically fragile or you were this invested in Pyrrha I would have said nothing. I understand where you are coming from and I'm sorry I did so much damage to you. I was wrong and you were right. Good day.” No empathy huh? “Also while I’m here, how about this long callout post about RWBY Analysis after she was angry at some art from Dishwasher that had Enabler undertones (complete with the classic “I used to respect you” card which you can always imagine someone saying within the context “I used to respect you when you agreed with me.”). And here’s her reaction, which should be recorded alongside the Great Fire of London as one of the greatest burns in history.”

Ah yes, a callout post...Where I didn’t call her out once...

But I guess the actual post looks pretty fucking bad for you (https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/172361707730/httpsrwby-analysistumblrcompost172345982047) since it is short and-oh yeah-SHE WAS SLANDERING SOMEONE. Good job completely missing the point eh?

But sure Knight of Balance. Tell us all about how you never meant for any of this to escalate and how sorry you were. It’s not like your own accounts show you to be a liar who instigated a harassment campaign and showed no empathy upon hearing that it was partially successful. You can surround yourself all you want with your little cabal of white knights like Sunder the Gold and MageKnight who will go to bat for you when they can. You can claim all you want that what you do is a crusade to purify RWBY and Make The FNDM Great Again or some bullshit like that because you seem to think that if you kill RWDE, Miles will personally fly out to thank you for saving RWBY. And you can even run to other fandoms like Darling in the Franxx or FLCL where your name isn’t poison. But we all know what you are.

I didn’t mean for thing to escalate as evident by how I TRIED TO STOP IT,

No empathy when I actively tried to call him down MYSELF.

That sounds pretty fucking ironic  considering that you surround yourself in haters like Dudeblade and Cadder there who will never ever think to question you or themselves. But as for that Sunder thing.. Well I’ll get to that latter but let’s just say, it’s a show of self control how I’m not screaming my head off.

Oh and you’re any different? You probably think ‘I f I get rid of all the fanboys, M&K will HAVE TO listen to my obviously not biased criticism and I’ll Make RWBY Great Again! Then Monty Sempai will rise form the grave to thank me for saving his legacy!’

Please, I’d sit Miles down and give him a lecture on how a timeline is VERY important for a long running show and keeping time skips vague to ‘avoid plotholes’ would in fact make MORE of them. Though I’d probably force him to attend a writing class, Just because I respect the guy doesn’t mean I see him as flawless.

Yerah, doesn’t work when I did the EXACT SAME THING I did here in Franxx. I obviously do not care about my reputation worldwide.

Here’s the thing: I do not regret many things in my time on the internet. I regret not asking about internet customs so i could know things like alt accounts were a bad thing. I regret my raging outbursts at innocent people because I was an immature fuckhead. I regret interacting with RWBYcrit. ... That’s it. My fight against RWDE? My battle against shitty critics? I do not regret that one bit. I fought for what I believed was right and got to meet amazing people along the way. I think I’ve even grown as a person. So no dice bitch.

You’re a schoolyard bully with a stick and anger problems. You’re a child throwing a temper tantrum, unaware of how if Miles or Kerry saw what you’ve said and done, they’d be disgusted in you and would shame you for the world to see. You are nothing. In the grand scheme of life, this will be your legacy. You will never amount to anything significant in this lifetime, and your life peaked before you even hit your twenties. KOB, I really hope you realize how in just under two and a half years, you have made nearly the entire fandom hate your guts.

... And?

Oh you thought this was gonna hurt me? You think you saying I have anger issues is gonna hurt me when I’ve acknowledged that as one of my worst traits. You think telling me Miles and Kerry would be disgusted with me is gonna hurt me when I am not them, they are not me and I am fighting primarily for myself? You think you calling me worthless and saying I will never amount to anything in my lifetime when I’m a fucking existentialist AKA someone who believes that there is no inherent worth in life? Bitch, I say worse things about myself every day.

And the rest is either lies (the fandom as a whole, even on Tumblr, DOESN’T CARE ABOUT ME.) or shows you’re projecting onto me (’You’re a bully!’ says the bullies.)

Let me break this down: We all hate you on Tumblr,

God, stop projecting your ego onto me, I know the fandom as whole on Tumblr doesn’t care about me.

You haven’t shown your face on Twitter

https://twitter.com/KOB13x

Shows what you know.

and when someone cited you in a Reddit post, everyone warned them not to link to you because you’re a toxic influence.

Considering how you’ve been posting links throughout this whole post, why should I believe you if you suspiciously DON’T provide proof of this. And again: stop projecting your ego onto me.

For Christ’s sake KOB, FatManFalling can get his stuff posted on R/RWBY. It’s extensively mocked, yes, but it’s still allowed.

To the point it regularly gets kicked off reddit for having massive downvotes.

You’re so bad you haven’t even got that privilege. Let that sink in and realize what it says about you.

A. Proof

B. Not the same context.

And C. I don’t care.

Because this is coming from someone who tried throwing Sunder The Gold under the bus by saying he associates with me. DESPITE the fact that we haven;’t talked to each other in MONTHS. Why did you say this then? Oh right, Sunder is a fan of RWBY ergo he must be eliminated right? Because anyone who doesn’t conform to your fucking hivemind and treat the show AND ESPECIALLY the creators like shit is a heretic right?

That’s why I do this. Because you people are fucking AWFUL in every sense of the word. Everything you just tried to pin on me applies to YOU instead and then we can add on EVEN MORE and EVEN MORE DISGUSTING shit to that pile.I don;t like Steven Universe but I am JUST as disgusted by SU‘s fandom and it’s bullshit. This has nothing to do with RWBY anymore, this has to do with you people DESTROYING INNOCENT LIVES. That is YOUR legacy: the ruins of people’s lives and the destruction of a show people hold dear all because you decided to embody the WORST aspects of humanity.

In short: Fuck you.

Oh, PS:

https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/162724070290/rampantlytyping-knightofbalance-13-hey

Guess you’re in the same boat as me eh?

[loki-hargreeves]

The Apprentice - Loki Imagine [PART 6]

[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4] [PART 5] [PART 6] [PART 7]

Your P.O.V.

‘‘I heard you outside my door with Sif’‘ -  ‘‘I didn’t mean to spy on you but the castle was quiet and..well you were right outside my room’‘ Loki was quick to defend himself. The smile that was plastered on my face earlier was long gone as the words he just said sunk into my brain, making me realize that he had heard the things he shouldn’t have. Things I thought I wouldn’t even tell Sif. 

He knew I had feelings for him. He had heard me crying too. I didn’t even remember everything I had said! I wasn’t sure if I was redder from blushing or purple from holding my breath. I couldn’t even bring myself to face him because I was ashamed of myself and what I had said, all for his ears to hear. I should’ve realized he could hear me!

‘‘H-how much did you hear?’‘ I could barely speak. My voice was just a little bit above a whisper but Loki caught onto what I said. I gulped as I heard his footsteps approaching me and soon I saw his feet because I was staring at the floor. He was right in front of me. ‘‘I heard enough’‘ Loki answered my question, that too making my heart swell and my face heat up like a flame. This felt surreal. I had screwed up everything! How could we ever look into each other’s eyes again? Loki couldn’t possibly like me back. It was impossible. He hated me! 

‘‘Please, look at me, Y/N’‘ Loki pleaded, his voice quite soft. I couldn’t hear any signs of mischief or mockery. So I sighed and did as requested, slowly raising my gaze to meet his beautiful emerald eyes. As I faced him, he gave me the sweetest smile that almost sent me off to a daze. How was he so fine with this? He should lecture me about being so dumb. ‘’Did you mean what you said?’’ He wanted to know but  I wasn’t sure exactly what he was talking about.

‘‘What?’‘ I breathed out.

‘‘Do you have feelings towards me?’‘ Loki was being straightforward now. The shame never left but as he mentioned it, my breath got stuck in my throat. I was going to deny it until I realized I had nothing to lose anymore. It’s not like he’d believe me if I’d say no. 

‘‘I do’‘ I admitted and then looked away from his captivating eyes. Loki fell silent, which worried me. All the bad signs came rushing back to me, my palms got sweaty, my breathing pace quickened and I felt like running away from the situation. Before it got too much for me to carry, Loki did something. 

His cool hand touched my jaw ever so gently and he directed me to look at him instead of the floor. His smile was gone but he didn’t seem angry either. The expression on his face was calm and nervous at the same time, something I couldn’t name but it felt good to see it. His hand moved to cup my cheek, this gesture sending shivers up and down my body, making me feel like I was on cloud nine. What was he doing? ‘’I-..I’m glad to say I have grown feelings towards you too, petal’’ He admitted and I swear he was just a tiny bit shy. My E/C eyes widened as I heard his confession. Was he serious? Did Prince Loki, my master, my mentor and the man I was lucky enough to know personally just admit his feelings? His feelings were directed at me?

‘‘Am I dreaming?’‘ I thought out loud, not thinking about it as I spoke. That made Loki chuckle softly, which was adorable. ‘‘You’re not’‘ He then answered my thoughts. That gave me a boost of confidence and I came to terms with my thoughts. Loki’s hand moved a bit more so his fingers were behind my neck, tangling into my hair. I couldn’t believe this was happening but I played along. As Loki leaned down towards my face, I got on my toes so I was a bit taller.

The tips of our noses touched gently and then I closed my eyes since all I saw was blurry. The very small distance between us disappeared as our lips crashed, almost roughly. The second I felt Loki’s dreamy lips against mine, a jolt of electricity pulsed through my body, causing all my hairs to rise. I wrapped my arms around Loki, completely melting into our kiss. It felt..perfect, dare I say. Our lips moulded like liquid gold like it was meant to be like this.

I tilted my head to give him better access to kiss me, pressing his lips against mine harder. My lips were tingling from excitement and then it deepened. Loki’s tongue brushed against my lips before pressing past them. My heart skipped a beat as our tongues met and our lips that had gotten warm from kissing were closer than before. This overwhelming desire to kiss him until midnight was there but eventually, we both had to breathe. So we backed away from each other, our eyes locking. He looked at me in awe and I was struck by emotions, the strongest of them being a happy one. 

‘‘I’m sorry for arguing with you, Y/N. It was wrong’‘ Loki sighed and then apologized. My arms left his body but I didn’t cut contact. I grabbed his hands into mine, happy to feel our fingers intertwining. ‘‘I’m sorry too. I could’ve done things differently’‘ I thought it was only fair to apologize too. It made me feel better immediately like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder. Oh, and the kiss had me excited too. I was more than just thrilled about it!

Loki looked at our intertwined fingers and he gave my hands a reassuring squeeze. I adored his expression silently, noticing how surprised he seemed but overall glad. There was a spark in his eyes again that made me sleep better at night. ‘’I haven���t asked anyone this before but I think it’s about time..’’ He began nervously, locking eyes with me again. What he had begun had me timid but I wanted to know what he had to ask.

‘‘Will you be mine?’‘ Loki revealed his grand question. That was honestly an honour. For a moment, I was too shocked to answer. Then a smile forced its way on my face and I wanted to jump from joy. ‘‘Of course, Loki’‘ I then let him know, happy to see it brought a smile on his face too. So now it was real, we were a thing. Although just a while ago I thought we’d never speak again.

I couldn’t be happier!

_____

‘‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’‘ I asked Loki, concerned about a little prank we had planned together. A couple days had passed since we shared that sweet kiss and after that, training had been better than ever and I even learned some spells and tricks. That’s exactly what I had to learn so we could pull this prank through. 

‘‘It’s a brilliant idea’‘ He smiled widely, clearly excited about this. His joy rubbed onto me and I nodded, happy to participate. We had been discussing Thor and Sif who clearly had feelings for each other, feelings they didn’t act out on. So Loki and I came up with an idea where I could turn into Sif and Loki would turn into a guard. We’d flirt near Thor and see his reaction. If it was obvious he’d be jealous, we’d turn to ourselves and have a chat with the hammer guy.

Was it cruel? Yes. But would it be effective? Yes! Besides that, Loki and I would have a chance to have a good time. So we wouldn’t lose at anything.

I tried to remember everything Loki had taught me. Then I picture what Lady Sif looked like and I focused hard. A moment later, a golden shimmer made my body glow and I changed looks, turning from me to Sif. Loki smiled proudly as he saw it had worked. Then he changed himself to a castle guard. He had red hair, the armour and the long, golden cape. ‘’Let’s go!’’ He whispered, his voice sounding different which was funny. 

As we began to walk along the corridors, walking quite close as we headed towards Thor’s room, I heard someone calling out for Sif. My eyes widened and I froze, turning around to see Fandral. ‘’There you are!’’ He smiled and jogged over to me. I shot Loki a glance and he just shrugged. Damn it, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all?

‘‘Is it something..uh important?’‘ I wondered, trying not to show the surprise on my face as I spoke with someone else’s voice. It was so weird to move my mouth and hear another voice than my own. Fandral knitted his eyebrows together and looked at Loki, who looked like a guard. I could see the confusion on his face and I began to lose focus. I was Lucky the Sif form didn’t vanish, at least not yet.

‘‘Are you...two going somewhere- special?’‘ Fandral cleared his throat, noticing how close we were standing. I knew he’d tell the others about this and Sif would hear it too so I turned back into myself. Loki rolled his eyes and let go of his illusion as well. 

‘‘Fandral, I know this is weird but please don’t tell anyone’‘ Loki spoke up, looking around us. Fandral seemed even more confused now. ‘‘May I ask what you two were doing like that?’‘ He asked and then smiled, finding this amusing. I had no idea what to say. I hadn’t spoken to Fandral too much so I didn’t want to ruin the possibility of friendship.

‘‘We were trying to make Thor jealous’‘ Loki answered quite honestly. ‘‘You tried to do what?’‘ A fourth voice joined us from behind. I turned around and there the man we spoke of stood. Thor raised his eyebrows and demanded answers.

‘‘A brilliant idea, huh?’‘ I said underneath my breath and faced Loki. He smiled and shrugged again, not so sure about how brilliant it was. ‘‘I mean, it could’ve been if Fandral here hadn’t seen us’‘ He then said and pointed at the blonde warrior. 

‘‘Loki and Y/N’‘ Thor said our names, almost seriously which was odd. Thor was almost always smiling and joking or telling stories about fighting on other realms for peace. ‘‘Yeah?’‘ I mimicked the way he had his eyebrows up earlier. ‘‘I heard you have been fighting, is everything okay?’‘ Thor wanted to know. A blush spread on my face and then it was followed my slight anger. Had Sif told him? Or had he heard it himself? I truly hoped Thor had heard it from his room because I trusted Sif.

‘‘They seem pretty close in my eyes’‘ Fandral had to make a comment about Loki and me. Truth be told, nobody knew about us being together. We hadn’t thought it was necessary to tell everybody, at least not yet. Who knew how Odin would react. It was a thing we feared in common. Odin’s denial although he seemed to want us together romantically. The man was unpredictable so we avoided him.

‘‘Everything’s good’‘ Loki let them know happily. ‘‘Pretty good’‘ I added, relieved to see he seemed okay. By that, we had completely forgotten about the trick we had planned. We could do that later, now we had to deal with these two oafs. 

‘‘Come on! The way you look at each other makes it obvious! Just spill it’‘ Fandral groaned, eager to hear us admitting our relationship. Thor seemed like he was waiting for us to say something. Dear heavens...

Loki gave me a questioning look which I read well. I just nodded, knowing he wanted to know if I was okay with him saying something. ‘’For the record, I’m taking good care of her. I hope that’s enough for you two’’ He revealed as little as possible. Just then, I heard a fifth person approaching the group. ‘’You’re gossiping without us? I’m offended’’ I heard Sif’s voice as two more men came over from behind her. I recognized Hogun and Volstagg. They waved at us before settling around us. We were probably blocking the way for anyone who would like to pass us in these halls. Sif saw Loki and I and she put the pieces together. 

‘‘You made up!’‘ She squealed excitedly, obviously having a good time. I wasn’t sure how to react. Now everyone around us knew that Loki and I had fought. Way to go! I almost flinched as I felt a hand on my shoulder. It belonged to Loki so I relaxed. ‘‘You might want to change the topic before we tell you what we were doing h-’‘ Loki gave her an empty threat, of course not too seriously. But I stopped him by putting my hand on his mouth gently. 

Loki shut up and looked into my eyes. I just shot him an innocent smile. ‘’We’re clogging the corridor. Is there any place we could go?’’ I wondered, more than happy to go somewhere else with these people and get to know them. Oh and changing the topic would be great too.

As they began to follow Volstagg who knew a place to go, I felt something wet on my palm. It took me a split second to realize Loki licked me so I pulled my hand away, pretending to be disgusted with him. ‘’Loki!’’ I whisper-yelled his name. Before he got a chance to defend himself, Thor spoke up: ‘’It’s so obvious, the two of you’’ He laughed happily. It was so close that I made a remark of him and Sif but I didn’t. 

‘‘Is he blind?’‘ Loki whispered to me, also confused how Thor saw what was between Loki and I but not what was between him and Sif. ‘‘Possibly’‘ I answered shortly. Then we decided it would be wise to follow them before we’d lose track of the group.

[PART 7]

Author’s Note: Just a friendly reminder that the warriors three deserved better. They’re all somehow friends now. I just miss them so much... Aaanyway, what do you think will happen to Loki and you? Will it last? Will Odin find it? If so, what would he do about it? 

The Apprentice; @yuna-belikova  @chloe-skywalker  @colagirl5  @infp-lovesyou @part-time-patronus @nizem8 @priincesspriincesspriincess  @saved-by-stucky  @fussballerina1909 @marvel-fanfiction  @bookgirlunicorn @spac3unic0rn  @one-loki-fanfic

Forever Taglist;  @iraniq @embrycallsgirl @blackroseyaz  @puddins-princess @r-alexandra01

[crazyfreckledginger]

New Year, New Friends

Original art

This story includes Dick Grayson (Nightwing), Jason Todd (Red Hood), Tim Drake (Red Robin) and Damian Wayne (Robin).

Your PoV

Walking towards Gotham Academy, I started to feel the pressure rising. What if no one likes me? The only people I know are the Waynes, well not even, we only met once at a gala because my dad forced me to go with him for 'impression purposes'.

I stopped once being in full view of the Acadamy Yikes that's huuuuuge! I thought. A crowd of students were walking into the school. Here goes nothing I said to myself again.

------------------Time Skip-----------------

"Class! This is our new student (Y/N) (L/N)." The teacher called out.

A few students greeted me before the teacher gestured to the Wayne with a white streak. He took his bag off of the table and smiled at me as I sat on the chair next to him.

"Long time no see!" he whispered once the teacher resumed her lesson.

"Which one are you again? Dick is it?" I asked, slightly harsher than intended.

"Ouch baby doll, I'm Jason!" he asked, faking a hurtful expression.

"Hilarious!" I smiled sarcastically.

After a few minutes of paying attention to the lesson, Jason whispered again "You up to go to Starbucks after school?"

"And why would I do that?" I smirked at him.

"Because I'm the most attractive Wayne in this class!" He flirted.

"What? There's another Wayne here?" I asked looking around.

"No! Don't get distracted by someone else's looks, mines are the best!" he put his arm around my shoulder so that I didn't turn around.

"Wait, no quit it!" I pushed him off, which nearly made him fall to the floor.

Looking around, I saw a familiar young boy who smiled at me when we made eye contact with him. I smiled back then turned back towards the board.

"I'm still hotter right?" He asked hopefully.

"Will you shut up if I say yes?" I deadpanned.

"Yes!!"

"Then yes!!"

He sighed, satisfied with my answer.

-----------Time Skip-----------

This was my last lecture before the end of school. I must admit, it wasn't so bad after all.

I looked to my left to see Jason actually focusing on the lesson. To be honest, the lesson was interesting but I was getting bored. I was thinking about today, then another thought occurred to me. I nudged Jason to get his attention. he hummed in response.

"How old is Tim again?"

"Why you want to ask him out? You're way out of his league!" I rolled my eyes at his statement.

"I meant isn't he a little bit too young to be in this grade?"

"Yeah but he's a smarty pants!" Jason mocked, before concentrating back on the lesson. I sighed, looking around at the huge auditorium the physics teacher was using for our class today. I then looked behind me when having a feeling I was being watched. I turned my gaze to an area at the back of the auditorium and I examined Tim who was grinning cheekily and waving widly in my direction, I smiled and turned back towards my notebook, feeling heat rising to my cheeks.

"What are you blushing about?" Jason teased.

I just looked down, hiding behind my hand.

"Stop it, Jay!" I smiled shyly. His suspicions grew, after a few seconds, his eyes widened and he looked back to Tim, who was still smiling cheekily at my action, his gaze still on me with a light blush. He gave him the I'm watching you! gestured and the I saw her first and she's mine! look. Tim just shrugged at his action then acted as if he was paying attention to the lesson again.

---------Time Skip----------

The lesson was finally interrupted by the bell. Everyone hurried outside to get away from school or go hang out with their friends. As I stood up from my seat to go home, Jason grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. He miscalculated his strength, making me fall in his lap, the action making my arms instinctively go around his neck. He smirked up at me with a proud expression.

"You never said yes to Starbucks!" he soothed, mesmerised.

Huffing, I thought for a few seconds before surrendering.

"Fiiine!" I sighed, rolling my eyes, a slight smile tugging at my lips, as I got off him.

"Yay!" he squeaked, getting up after me, doing a little victory dance. I giggled at his action.

A set of footsteps interrupted his victory dance. I turned around and saw Tim smiling at me. He stopped in front of us.

"Can I come with you guys?" He asked enthusiastically.

"Sure!" "Hell no!" We said simultaneously. I then looked at Jason, an eyebrow raised. He pouted before huffing out "Whatever!" I smiled at him.

"You're such a dork!" I nudged him, chuckling. He kept his pout, wanting to show that he was still a little upset that I agreed, but his action was betrayed by a faint blush rising to his cheeks.

"HEY BROS!!!" Another excited voice called out. We all turned towards the entrance of the auditorium and saw an older boy and a shorter, younger looking boy.

"Oh Hell Nah! I've been wanting to go with (Y/N) for a coffee and I already have to suffer through Tim, I don't need both of you too!" Jason complained, sliding an arm around my shoulder possessively.

"We all know you don't have a real chance with a girl Todd!" The youngest one stated.

"Oooooh! Burn Jason!!" The eldest added. I simply raised an eyebrow at the lot.

"I'm sorry am I encroaching on some brother bonding time?" I finally asked, raising my hands in surrender. "Should I leave?"

"No no no no no! Dick and Damian were simply leaving, taking Tim with them! Weren't you!?" He informed, glaring at his brothers.

"Why? What's happening?" Dick asked.

"Starbucks!" Tim and I said simultaneously.

"Date!!" Jason stated annoyed.

"It's not a date if both of us are going with you!" Tim argued, rolling his eyes.

"Can we come?" Dick asked, tried to persuade, attempting to do the puppy eyes.

"I don’t see why not" I accepted.

"Nuuuuuh!" Jason sighed exasperatedly.

"Cool, do you want to come little D?" Dick asked.

"Tt" Damian responded.

"Whoo! Let's go then!" Dick pushed us to the exit.

"Okay okay we're going!" Jason surrendered.

Want to be tagged?

Tagging: @lumifuer

[oddree13]

Dec. 17 - Flight Cancelled - @omgcpwinterextravaganza (Read on AO3)

Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25

Delayed. Cancelled. Delayed. Cancelled.

That was the pattern going down the board at Logan Airport, a few days before Christmas. A snow storm had blown in, bring more snow than expected, and it looked like it wasn’t letting up anytime soon.

Sighing, and glancing at his phone for no other reason than habit, Nursey went to go sit back down, hoping somehow that the weather would change.

It wasn’t like he really celebrated Christmas, but if he was going to be alone he might as well do it in New York City where he could be alone with the bustling city. But after ten minutes of brooding, he realized that nothing was going to change the weather now, and went off to find an agent to rebook him.

As he walked past security, back into the main terminal, he spotted a familiar shock of red hair and strided over, hoping his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him.

“Poindexter?” he called out, and was relieved when Dex turned around startled by his name being called.

“Nursey? What are you doing here? I thought you left yesterday?”

“I did technically. I went into Boston a day early for this lecture I wanted to check out, but now I’m snowed in. You?”

“Flight was today and well, you can guess what happened,” he sighed, looking around as if by looking out the windows the snow would stop.

“Any chance we can get back to the Haus you think?” Nursey asked, in case Dex had already looked into that.

“We’d have to take the T then a bus back, but the Samwell buses aren’t running anymore,” Dex said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “They stopped at noon today, and I doubt any ubers and taxis would be willing to drive that far out in this weather.”

“Right....” Nursey trailed off, running a hand through his hair in thought. “Look, I don’t want to recreate every bad holiday movie that glorifies sleeping in a terminal, and I know how you get when you don’t sleep well, so how about this - I’ll get us a room at the hotel attached to the airport, and before you say anything, I have travel insurance so it’ll be covered. The only thing that’ll cost us is the room service we will most certainly order along with the movies,” he grinned, doing his best to convince his friend that it wouldn’t be a huge expense.

“Nursey, that’s really nice but I can stay here, it’s fine. Really. Besides if the weather clears up I could get the first flight out,” he tried, but Nursey leveled him with a look and before he knew it, the two of them were on the shuttle to the hotel.

It was obvious that Nursey wasn’t the only person with this idea, because the line to get a room was long, and by the time it was Derek’s turn they only had king beds left. As he looked to the side to see if Dex would be alright with it, the redhead just gave him a look that said ‘we do this every roadie.’ Without another moment’s hesitation Derek booked the room, and soon the two men were ensconced in a king room with a stocked mini fridge.

In no time Derek ordered room service, to which Dex rolled his eyes at, but soon had no ground to tease Nursey on as he discovered the bathrobes and, embracing their situation, wrapped himself in terry cloth and lounged on the bed.

“You know two years ago I would have murdered you for even suggesting this and then stayed in the airport out of spite,” Dex laughed, as Nursey stripped out of his clothes and into just pajama bottoms and a matching bathrobe. “I know now that this is just how you help out and show you care. I get it’s not a show off thing.”

“I’m sorry you thought that,” Nursey said laying down on the couch and picking up the remote. He looked over at his friend, with a small smile. “I get why, but I’m glad you didn’t murder me for suggesting it now. I don’t think I would have been able to get this room knowing that you’d still be at Logan curled up on an uncomfortable chair.”

“Yeah that would have sucked,” Dex agreed, and settled down as Nursey scrolled through the movie options.

***

A tray of food and two wine bottles later, Nursey and Dex lay on the bed, watching Star Wars: the Force Awakens.

“Honestly at this rate I don’t think there isn’t a human in this movie I wouldn’t sleep with,” Nursey giggled.

“Is that so?” Dex teased, watching Poe and Finn reunite on screen.

“Yeah, I mean you’ve got the obvious main trio - Rey, Finn, and Poe - that are all too pretty for words. I’d sleep with Harrison Ford no matter what his age is,” Derek began.

“But you’d even sleep with the First Order guys?” Dex asked, curious.

“Well, Kylo Ren honestly might just need an orgasm to calm the fuck down, and Hux, well,” he started, but stopped suddenly.

“What about Hux?” Dex asked, peering over at Nursey.

“Well I actually wouldn’t sleep with him. I don’t substitute,” he shrugged, hoping the vague response was enough.

“What do you mean substitute?” Dex asked, turning his full attention to his roommate.

“You know, go after someone because they look like someone you’re into,” he muttered.

“I wasn’t aware you had a thing for military dudes, Nurse,” he teased.

“Yeah it’s not the military thing and before you asked, it isn’t an allegorical Nazi fetish either,” he snorted.

“Then what is it?” he asked, but before he got an answer, his attention was drawn back to the fight between Rey and Kylo, forgetting to pester Nursey about his unwillingness to fictionally go to bed with Domhnall Gleeson.

It was only when they were both tucked into bed later, not quite drunk, but still tipsy, that Dex asked, “Is it because he’s ginger?”

“What?” Nursey asked, a little confused at the question.

“Hux. You don’t want to fuck him because he’s ginger,” Dex replied, staring at the back of Nursey’s head in the twilight of the room. When Derek didn’t answer he continued.

“Whatever guy you like right now must be ginger if you won’t substitute,” Dex began, turning over onto his back to think. “Well he can’t be at Samwell because there honestly aren’t that many redheads at school, and half are girls, and the guys that are there don’t see like your type.”

“Dex, just drop it,” Nursey warned, his chest tightening in worry.

“So that means that the guy must be on another hockey team or back in New York,” he continued, ignoring the warning.

“Dex, it doesn’t matter. It’s not going to happen so there’s no need to talk about it.”

“But why not? You’re good looking, smart, funny, and the clumsiness thing has a charming side effect if you play it right.”

“He’s straight,” Nursey gritted out, ignoring all the compliments that Dex had just showered on him.

“Oh,” Dex said, his mouth closing in regret. “I’m sorry, Nursey, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s fine. He’s just not into dudes and that’s fine. I just have a rule that I don’t go to bed with people to fuel unattainable crushes, fictional people included.”

“That makes sense,” he agreed, but instead of turning back over and trying to sleep, Dex rolled over and hugged his friend.

“His loss then, Derek,” he whispered, his breath ghosting on the back of Nursey’s neck.

“Yeah,” Nursey squeaked out, his throat tight, “his loss.”

***

The next morning the snow was still going, coating the city in several more inches. After each of the defensemen were on hold for over an hour with their respective airlines, they decided to order some breakfast and work on some homework to kill the day.

By the time evening came, the pair decided another movie was in order so Nursey scrolled through, reading the titles to Dex.

“Zootopia?”

“Not in the mood.”

“Deadpool?”

“Saw it.”

“Moo- nah nevermind you wouldn’t be into that”

“No wait, what movie?”

“Moonlight,” Nursey finished, looking over at Dex.

“For your information, I already saw it,” he replied, looking smug.

“For real?” Nursey asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, for real. It was during a long weekend and well I was curious.”

“Curious about what?”

“About what life would look like if you just never admitted to yourself what you really are,” he shrugged, not meeting Nursey’s eyes.

“And what did you think?”

“I thought it was good. My goal this year is to admit to myself some things,” he swallowed, clearly uncomfortable.

“Well that’s healthy, Poindexter,” he offered, and went back to scrolling through the movies, settling on Captain America: Civil War.

As the Marvel film played before them, Nursey wondered what Dex had to admit to himself. Earlier he’d explained how he would have reacted differently about the hotel had it been two years earlier, so maybe he was generally trying to become more self aware. But there was also the other possibility lurking in the back of Derek’s mind.

“You know if you wanted to admit something you can always talk to me...you listen to my bullshit all the time,” he offered, his eyes still focused on the screen.

Dex just nodded and didn’t say anything.

When the movie ended, they decided to skip a second movie in favor of lounging, so Nursey got out a book to read while Dex went back to working on his homework. The sound of typing filled the room and became background noise to Derek. So when Dex spoke up he was a little thrown.

“...I just wanted to tell you I'm gay. That's what I meant earlier...and I've only got a handful of days left this year so might as well finish up this resolution.”

It took Derek a few seconds to process the information but once his brain filtered what Dex said and stopped short circuiting, Derek defaulted to the tried and true Samwell line of, “Thank you for trusting me with this moment,” to which Dex laughed.

“Really, that’s what you’re going with?”

“What do you want me to say?” Nursey countered, his book now closed on his lap.

“I don’t know, freak out more? I’m really not sure I’ve never told anyone before.”

“I mean, I’ll tell you that I didn’t see it coming that’s for sure. I thought you were going to go off and get married to a girl and make a family fit for an LL Bean catalog.”

At that Dex had to laugh. “Yeah I don’t think the family I want right now is the kind they put in a magazine,” he snorted.

“And what kind of family is that?”

“A fictional one, Nurse. What I’m picturing right now isn’t going to happen. The guy is way out of my league, and well the kids I’m picturing aren’t exactly biologically possible.”

“I doubt this guy is out of your league,” Nursey began scooting over to be able to look at Dex properly. “You’re an NCAA athlete with the body to match. You’re smart, hard working, and loyal to a fault. If this guy doesn’t see that then he’s a moron.”

“I mean he is a moron but not for those reasons,” Dex smiled, a blush rising on his cheeks. “But he’s into someone else, I know that.”

Derek looked intently at Dex and took a chance. Moving his hand, he covered Dex’s hand, and was pleased when he heard the hitch in his breathing. “You were right. I didn’t want to even go to bed with a fictional ginger because I would look at them and want it to be you. And I know you just came out, and that I might not be the guy you were just talking about, but if I am, I need you to know that you aren’t out of my league. Fuck, Will, you’re the only one in it because I can’t get you out of my head. And I’m not expecting anything because you literally just came out and we’re about to go home, but I needed you to kn-”

Dex leaned in to kiss Nursey, cutting off his rant, cupping his check with one hand, the other resting on the back of his neck. “Shut up Derek,” he whispered as he pulled back a bit from the kiss. Nursey for his part just nodded, and went back in for another kiss.

***

The rest of the evening was spent trading lazy kisses and talking, and come morning when the weather evened out, Derek may or may not have changed his ticket to spend the holidays with his best friend turned boyfriend, instead of spending it alone in Manhattan.

[strongfromourveryweakness]

Family Is What You Make of It: Coming Out As Female-to-Male Transgender

I was born to a very conservative Christian family in 1995 and assigned female. 

I grew up in Colorado. My birth mother and father read their Bibles every day, squeezed me into tights and dresses to go to church every Sunday, and every Christmas before we opened presents, my father read the Christmas story right from the Gospel of Matthew. Religion was everything to my birth family. "You don't skip church unless you're dead or impaled on a stick!" my birth mother once exclaimed when I said I was "too tired" to go to church after going to a Christian concert.

I grew up with Jesus and his followers shoved down my throat at every turn. In our evangelical church, they encouraged questions and told you if you had doubts, that was okay. But it wasn't. You were supposed to doubt, then turn for correction. You followed. You listened. You didn't ask questions after it was explained to you, and you certainly didn’t look to non-Christian sources for answers.

I was told from a young age in the church that if I didn’t save my friends, they would go to hell at the end of time and burn in a lake of fire while Satan pointed and laughed at them. As a kid terrified of fire and extreme heats, I couldn’t think of anything worse. So I would “work” on my friends. People became “projects” to me. My wife today used to be a project...who was also my extremely beautiful and brilliant best friend. I didn’t want her to burn in a lake of fire. No one wants that for their friends. Of course I’d try to convert my friends. If I didn’t try, that’d make me an asshole.

I experienced my fair share of doubts growing up in the church. Like why the fuck does Jesus care about a little shit like me? He’s a big boy. Why does God need so much moral support? He’s God, isn’t that enough? Why do we have to tell him how big, magnificent, and incredible he is? He’s the only omnipotent being in the universe, isn’t that kind of a given? If a bunch of fruit flies complimented me on how big, magnificent, and capable I was as a human being,

capable of driving a car or a plane or lifting a single grape in one go, I’d be like, 

But as a fruit fly in God’s real-life Sims game, it was kind of surprising that all the people told me he cared about me. As a kid whose mother and siblings who were constantly making fun of her about anything and everything and with a father who, I felt, only seemed to showed up when discipline needed dishing out, it was nice to be told such a huge powerful thing cared about my insignificant ass. I didn’t feel I got much one-on-one attention as a middle child, so when people were like, “God thinks about you!” I was like, “Wee!”

I never doubted my Christian faith, even after I turned 21 and couldn’t find friends at university in Christian groups because I was too different. 

Weren’t Christians supposed to be open and accepting? Not judgmental and excluding? Wasn’t Jesus the one that allegedly ate with the social outcasts? I didn’t doubt even while developing the biggest crush on my best friend. I didn’t doubt while I shared a bed with her when I visited her the first time and wanted to do nothing more than kiss her shoulder and bury my face in her sweet-smelling curly brown hair.

I doubted, instead, after I came out as (then, as I understood myself to be) bisexual and genderqueer to my conservative family. First, I came out to my birth brother, who hit me with Bible verses that, to him and most evangelicals, preached against loving, respectful homosexual relationships. I cried, I moved on. I came out to my birth sister and her husband, who said they didn’t know what God meant about gays, but they still loved me. Relieved, I moved onto my birth parents with an emotional letter and a plan to leave and visit Ashley - my then girlfriend, now wife - immediately after so I could give them time to process without me being there. I brought two of my friends as emotional support while my birth parents read the letters with blank faces. They were quiet, they didn’t cry. They didn’t do anything. They wouldn’t say anything. And they wouldn’t say anything until my emotional support left. Then, they clobbered me with words like “abomination” and “sin”. Bible verses. Rhetoric like, “I know these feelings feel real”, telling me I needed to think about this more. As if I was a child who didn’t know how to think for herself. As if I hadn’t already spent months torn up about this, thinking, and researching. 

 I had a plan to stay at my childhood best friend Ruby’s mom and dad’s house for the night before getting a ride from them to the airport, but my birth father wouldn’t let me leave. He and my birth mother were going to take me. That was final. You don’t question, you follow. 

I left to visit my girlfriend, and my birth father told me not to post about our relationship on social media yet because he didn’t think I was ready for the backlash. I was ready, I don’t think he was. I had a wonderful week with Ashley in Canada before returning to a home that didn’t feel like mine. My birth parents hadn’t gone to the session I set up with my therapist for them. In fact, they fired her with a nasty text message for encouraging me to be myself. There were books about homosexuality written from Christian authors laying on the table (which I was encouraged to read). I didn’t read them. I knew what they would say. The books I gave my birth parents to read were either not touched or read - but skeptically annotated. 

My birth mother wouldn’t look at me or speak to me unless I spoke to her first. We didn’t speak about the elephant in the room. One time my birth mother and I had a conversation, but I had to get up and leave the conversation while I fought tears of anger; because she wasn’t hearing me, just lecturing. They said they were listening, but in their hearts, they didn’t want to understand what I told them. They were stone giants and I felt immeasurably small. I dealt with a dead home for two months before I was having massive panic attacks and rocking back and forth in my bedroom because I was so scared of my birth mother and father. I knew they needed to talk about what was going on, but they weren’t ready to listen to me when I spoke. It was useless. I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do. 

 My university schoolwork was ages behind and I was failing in more than one class. I spent several nights at Ruby’s parents’ house because being at home was too stressful. And then my dog, living at my birth parent’s house, came down with an oral infection I couldn’t afford to treat. I knew I couldn’t afford to move out and take care of myself if it came down to it if I blew all my money on a surgery for my beloved dog, but I knew that was becoming a real possibility. It was my life or my dog’s, and I knew my dog would understand. No one was going to win in this situation and Joe would have wanted me to be safe, not living in my car or in a LGBT shelter in Denver. I packed some bags, put them in my car, and took my dog to the vet’s where she was euthanized. 

I stayed at Ruby’s parents’ house for a week before making the executive decision to move out of my birth parents’. Joe had been the one stabilizing element at that house and with her gone, I no longer recognized the place. I had bought a one-way plane ticket to Vancouver Island and my mind was made up. I was going to stay with Ashley. That week at Tammy and Tom’s, my birth parents had never called, and only sent short messages the first few days asking if I was there still. They assured me of their love, but without loving actions to follow, their words felt empty. 

Tammy and Tom took me back to my birth parents’ and we gathered the boxes I had packed just in case, plus a few boxes of other things I would need if I never returned. My birth mom was home when we first arrived, but didn’t show up. A few minutes after gathering my things, we heard movement downstairs, but no one came upstairs to see what was going on. 

We started carrying boxes out the front door, no one got up to see what was going on. After all the boxes were outside, my birth father came out and tried to talk down to me like I was making the worst decision of my life. He criticized my plan to quit school and move. I ran back inside to get a few other things, and my birth mother was crying, asking me what I was doing. I told her and she cried harder. She asked if she could still be in touch and I said of course. It felt like, “Oh, so I have to move out for you to notice me and care?” They both reprimanded Tammy and Tom for enabling me to make this decision. I tried to explain it was my idea, I asked them to come.

I cried all the way back to Tammy and Tom’s. I couldn’t believe that my birth parents weren’t who I had thought they were. I had given them so many chances to learn, I had tried to talk to them about my side of things, I tried, I tried, I tried. I gave them every chance and they never once took it to find out how I felt about things. They never called when I was gone. I was the villain. I apologized so many times to them, but never got one in response. 

I met with my birth sister and brother and my birth sister’s husband at Starbucks before I finally left for Canada. The day before, I messaged my birth sister about how I realized I was transgender, not genderqueer or bisexual. I didn’t think it was a big deal to let her know this way, seeing as she took me being bisexual so well. Wrong. She and my birth brother were so incredibly upset with me for how I had treated our birth parents.I guess our birth parents had conveniently left out how I had been treated in their home. 

 Never did they ask how things had been for me, they just believed anything they were told about it. Not only that, but everyone in my birth family agreed I needed a psychological assessment before I left. Because I believed I was transgender, I was therefore having a psychotic breakdown. Of course. 

They did not consider that I could have instead been driven out of my home and failing my classes because of real factors such as the stress of coming out; suicidal because of the rejection I’d faced at the hands of, well, everyone. 

Of course I’d go to be with the one person in the world who can ever handle me when I can’t think of a reason to go on.

The next day, my birth parents picked me up from Tammy and Tom’s to take me to my psychiatrist. My birth mother looked terrible, like she’d been crying since the second I left. Funny, because she hadn’t called once since I left - just sent a nasty message to Tammy about enabling me and putting ideas in my head. It was a tense car ride. But I’d prepared, I’d taken a long walk before leaving to help with my anxiety, and eaten a good breakfast. 

The psychiatrist met with me alone first, and told me I was the sanest and most relaxed he’d ever seen me. He said he’d always sensed an underlying anger in me, and underlying unhappiness, but had never been able to put a finger on it. This was it. He told me to fill out a form to rate me on a bipolar scale, since my birth family was convinced I was way off-the-scales manic. I rated myself maybe a 2, and he said that’s the highest he’d score me if he had to scale me at all. He told me my birth family had rated me as high as 32 - hypersexual, eccentric clothing, crazy ideas, inflated ego. But he didn’t see any of that. I told him my new name: Steven.

When my birth parents came back in, he told them his opinion. I was fine, I was just transgender. 

That wasn’t the answer they wanted, I could see it in their faces. He told them what he’d rate me, and I remember one of them saying incredulously, “Really.”

I was sent out while they talked to my psychiatrist for another ten minutes before we all left. 

my birth father asked me.

“I knew I was fine the whole time,” I said. “It was you who thought I was crazy.”

They wanted to get coffee before they dropped me off at my university to finish some legal stuff regarding withdrawing. They grilled me about my plans, essentially told me they were bad plans, told me not to get married, called my “sins” (and therefore myself) and abomination again, and told me they’d never come to my wedding. They actually told me they’d have to think about being in their grandchildren’s lives. They had to think about that. (”We’ll have to think about that” is of course parent-speak for “no”, and the way you’d talk to a defiant toddler.)

I said I’m all done and would like to go.

I left a few days later to go to Canada. Tammy and Tom took me to the airport and 20 hours of obscure flights later, I was in the arms of my girlfriend and knew everything was going to be okay.

God that feels like forever ago.

I had limited contact with my birth family for a few months until it came to light my birth father never paid my tuition like he had promised. I talked to them over Skype and they basically told me no, they would not pay it because I dropped out and skipped town, even though I dropped out and left home for mental health reasons pertaining to my survival. (Maybe because those reasons were attributed to them, and me being transgender.) I had to go through a long process of a medical withdrawal from my classes to get my F’s turned into W’s, and have my tuition and fees excused. I was hurt because my birth father likely would have paid the tuition if I was cisgender and straight and had had a mental health emergency.

After this debacle, I was more skeptical than ever every time they told me they loved me. No, they didn’t love me, Steven, they loved their daughter and wanted her back.

The last conversation I had with my birth family was in May, when I told them I was getting married and telling them, one last time, they could come to the ceremony if they wanted. My birth sister wouldn’t even let me call her because she was still too hurt. I blocked her number. My brother said the same. I blocked his. I called my birth parents. I knew they wouldn’t want to come, so I didn’t ask, I just told them. I told them I wanted to be called Steven, one last time, and be referred to with male pronouns or else I wouldn’t speak to them again. I wasn’t going to put up with their transphobic bullshit anymore. They said they’d have to think about it.

 They’d have to think about speaking to me again because they had to consult their religion, which had done nothing but hurt, and continue hurting me the last year. They asked how my faith was, and I said I don’t believe in God. Upsettingly, they seemed more concerned about my not believing in God than them not being able to speak to me again. 

I told them my fiance and I were moving, they asked if they could have my address. I said, 

because two can play at that game. 

We ended the conversation and I broke down. I made the decision then to take the SIM card out of my phone, which they had insisted and insisted on paying for. Today, I haven’t spoken to any of them for three months. I won’t speak to them for another year and nine months. I’ll check in, see where they’re at. If they’re where they were, that’s it, I guess. I had originally thought, if after a week in Canada wouldn’t get them to consider me and love me as I was, maybe if I moved out it would. Then I thought maybe if moving out wouldn’t do it, I’d go to be with Ashley. If that didn’t work, I thought, I’ll not talk to them for a few months. Then I thought I’d tell them I won’t speak to them again if they don’t call me my name. That didn’t work. So, maybe after two years, they’ll get it. If not, I don’t think they ever will. 

A while after that conversation, I received a letter from my birth mother. It was addressed to Steven. This was our final correspondence. It was basically a plea for me to return to Christianity, because without it, I was fucked apparently. She recounted how devoted I used to be. (Yeah.) She told me that if she wasn’t a Christian, she would probably be divorced from my birth father (Oh?), she’d be bitter, she’d be angry. (Funny how if I had to pick two words to describe the letter, they would be “bitter” and “angry”. And, might I add, “extremely hurtful”.) She listed things she and my birth father did for me as a kid, like take me to doctors appointments and give me emotional support after being sexually abused by my high school boyfriend. (You know, things parents are generally expected to do when they have a kid and life happens.) She knew I was moving and this was potentially our last correspondence, yet she chose to devote a majority of the letter telling me to come back to God. 

No apology for what I’d been put through, no acknowledgement of my feelings. No indication she’s done any soul-searching to see if she can accept me as her son, rather than her daughter. No indication she’s willing to admit to any mistakes. Nothing. Please come back to God, your birth father and I were amazing parents, your “path to homosexuality” is an abomination. 

Hell no. 

If that hadn’t been enough, the person who was going to be my best man at my wedding but “couldn’t make it” reached out to me and told me she couldn’t call me Steven or use my pronouns because of her beliefs. 

We’d been best friends since ninth grade and she waited eight months to let me know she couldn’t do this small, small thing for me that means everything to me. She wanted to find a compromise so we could both be happy and be friends. I told her that I cut out my family because they couldn’t accept me, and she wasn’t special. She chose religion. I cut her out too. I respect myself too much.

I’m a different person than I was a year ago. I’ve experienced the worst kind of heartbreak - the rejection by your family based on your gender and who you love. The realization that your family loves religion more than they love you. They love their rules, they love their cruel edition of God (the one who says what’s between your legs is more important than love), more than they love you.

But it hasn’t all been bad. I’ve gotten married to the most incredible person I’ve ever met in my life. She loves me for who I am, and she is my family. Her family is my family. Her brothers my brothers, her nephews my nephews, her niece my niece. 

Tammy and Tom have unofficially adopted me as an honorary member of their family. I have a new “Mom”, a “Dad”, a sister, and a gay brother. I have family. They may not be the family I was born into, but they’re the family I chose; and the family that chose me. There’s something special about that. Fucked as I am, they chose me.

I spent the day with two of my nephews, my brother-in-law, and my mother-in-law yesterday. The older of the nephews watched me login somewhere with the last name “Vomacka” and said, “Hey, that’s my last name too!”

The littlest said, “Me too! And daddy! And grandma!”

“That’s right!” I smiled. “We’re all Vomackas.”

In that moment, playing video-games with my little nephews, I felt like family. I was their Uncle Steven. I had a family. My new family might get my pronouns wrong most of the time, but sometimes they get it right. They may get my name wrong sometimes and call me my birthname out of habit, but at least they get it right more often than not. They don’t care I look the way I do. They talk with me. They laugh with me. They love me, as an action word.

And isn’t that, ultimately, what family is all about?

Stay Brave Out There, Steven Thomas Vomacka

Note: I should note that the purpose of this post was not to shame my birth family. (I was very careful not to use their names or any kind of visual depiction of them so they could not be identified.) The purpose of this post was to let other transgender individuals know they are not alone in their struggle, especially if they’ve experienced rejection like I have on the basis of religion. After all, 57% of transgender people will attempt suicide if their family rejects them. 50-52% will attempt if bullied. 

I want these people to know that no matter what, they should respect themselves and who they know themselves to be. No one can tell you who you are. Pursue your happiness and don’t let anybody get in the way. I know the hurt that you’re feeling is worse than anything you may have ever felt in your life, so bad you may be questioning whether there’s even a point, but this post was to let you know things get better. They do. This is not the end of your story, don’t let this be how it ends. 

If you are in a desperate situation right now in the United States, you can call or text 1-866-488-7386 for the Trevor Project (which also has an IM suicide hotline here [x]), and LGBTQ+ help center aimed at eliminating suicide in LGBTQ+ individuals. 

Other resources:  - (US & Canada) Trans Lifeline: (US) 877-565-8860 (Canada) 877-330-6366 - (Canada) KidsHelpPhone Ages 20 Years: 1-800-668-6868  - (USA & Canada) National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 - (Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (plus online chat if you go to the website) - (Australia) Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 - (UK) HOPEline UK: 0800 068 41 41  - (All Other Countries, please, follow this link!)