#because seriously how can a human be so HUGGABLE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keorami · 3 years

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So you know when you wanna write a funny situation but you realise that you have to come up with said funny situation? Yeah... I forgot that my sense of humor is atrocious, but at least I tried...? I couldn't focus on one long story so I decided to write several short ones instead! Hope you enjoy!

"I have the feeling you're not enjoying this sleepover very much."

Dream did not, in fact, enjoy this 'sleepover', because not only did it remind him that his only way out of this hell was stuck in here with him, but said way out had been nothing but insufferable since he got here.

"Is this about the bell-"

"You could have gotten us out of here."

Oh yeah, said way out also wasted their one chance at escaping on a fucking bell. Dream hadn't felt such anger in... he doesn't remember actually. He didn't get to feel angry often in here.

"Listen, it was a very important matter-"

He stopped listening at that point. It was the same tirade every time about clout and viewership and whatever that he honestly could care less about. Staring at and counting the cracks in the obsidian seems like a very interesting activity.

"Hey, are you listening?"

1... 2... 3...

"Dude."

4... 5... 6...

"How long are you gonna ignore me?"

7... 8- wait, didn't he count that one already?

"Look at me at least."

No, he doesn't think he will. Because then the bell will be within view, and Dream knows that if he wasn't so pathetically weak, either the bell or Techno would have been thrown into the lava by now. But he is, so he'll throw the next best thing: his body. And fuck whatever the pig might have to say about it.

"Dreeeeeam-"

"WHAT."

He whipped his head so fast his neck hurt a little. He was fully prepared to... well now he doesn't remember, because of all faces he expected Techno to make...

The fuckboy face wasn't one of them.

"Nooo don't be angry, you're so sexy haha."

Oh God, he just died and went to limbo didn't he?

He wasn't sure when exactly he collapsed on the floor, gasping for air in a mix of wheezes and coughing, but Techno was now hovering over him in panic.

"Dream please don't die, I don't want the last thing you ever saw to have been that face-"

Oh, if there was one thing he would make sure not to forget, it would have been that face.

~~~~~

"Man, I'm starving. When do we get food in here again?"

"Um, I don't know really. I guess whenever Sam is in the mood?"

"What."

"Yeah."

Sam hasn't dropped food a single time since he was locked in here. Well, add 'food' to the basic human rights Dream isn't getting. They're really treating this like a bucket list aren't they?

"It's... You'll get used to it."

Dream gives him some potatoes from his inventory, to Techno's absolute delight. At least Sam has great taste, he'll give him that. But...

"...They're raw."

"Well, obviously."

Listen. He loves potatoes. He'd say he loves them to death, if he could die. No matter how you cook them, they turn out delicious. But raw? He'd only eat them raw if it was a life-or-death situation AND he somehow had no source of heat at his disposal, and the likelihood of that situation happening is practically zero. So yeah, he doesn't like to eat them raw.

"And that's all you get?"

"If you can't eat it-"

Ah, those famous words. Now, he's fairly certain that Dream didn't mean it as a challenge, but at this point Techno is just too competitive to see it any other way. Look, you don't get to his level by being passive, okay? So it's perfectly reasonable.

What wasn't reasonable was the taste of this potato because what in the Blood God's name is this.

"What the hell is this."

"...A potato?"

"No, this is a fucking travesty."

And what a sight it was, the Technoblade swearing and ranting about potatoes, of all things. Dream could only last until "mossy cobblestone tastes better than this dry ass, stinky ass garbage" before he lost it. You gotta give him credit for lasting this long at least. Technoblade was too busy ranting to care either way.

~~~~~

This can't be happening.

"Dream."

"What."

He tries to sound neutral, but Techno can hear the snicker in his voice.

"You don't have to do this."

Surely he can reconsider-

"On the contrary, it has to be done."

Dream places a single card on the pile, which happens to be his last one. A Wild Draw 4, to rub salt into the wound. Techno decides that ending on that card should be illegal.

"Remember the deal. No bell for the rest of the day."

"NOOOOOOO!"

Unfortunately, that had been the condition he had to agree to in order to get Dream to play. Because apparently he was "ringing it all the fucking time and it was driving me crazy". There's that, and the threat that Dream would jump in the lava again if he refused. So clearly he had a choice in the matter.

He knew that there was a chance he could lose... but he had deemed it low enough to ignore it. How could he not expect the resident chessmaster of the SMP to utterly trounce him in UNO? He was a fool, and now he has to think about how to make up for the lost clout and money.

At least, judging from the quiet snickers, someone finds his misery funny. He finds consolation in knowing that he may have lost the battle but he won the war. In a way.

~~~~~

"So I almost got mauled to death but that was how I met Steve."

Dream stares at him the way Phil does when he does something particularly outlandish and he fails to see why.

"Can I ask a question."

"Sure."

"Why would the first thing you do upon running into a starving polar bear be hugging it?"

Of course he would question it, because obviously Techno's superior intellect is confusing to the common mind. He just really likes animals, okay? Steve's fur looked so soft and fluffy he just had to touch it, he almost got his face torn off and Phil never let him live that down. But he'll sooner accept governments than let Dream know that. He doesn't want to embarrass himself too much.

"See Dream, I live by a simple philosophy."

"Long live anarchy?"

"No. Well yes, but not just that."

Dramatic silence.

"Any animal is huggable if you aren't a coward."

Dream chokes on his potato, the only one he had eaten today, and Techno worries for a second before he realises that Dream is actually laughing.

"Tech- what-" His body is shaking. "-what is wrong with you??"

"It all started when I was born-"

~~~~~

And it's enough to send Dream rolling on the ground. It wasn't even that funny, but he supposes that prison does a number on you, and Dream's sense of humor was already terrible to begin with.

...Okay, now he had to make sure that the teletubby didn't laugh himself to death.

At the end of the day- at least Techno assumes it's the end of the day, he doesn't know how trustworthy his internal clock is anymore- the two inmates of Pandora's Vault are about ready to fall asleep, but Techno has one last thing to do before that.

"Dream, come here for a minute."

Said man gives him such a wary look that he almost feels insulted.

"...Why?"

"I won't bite, ya know."

"That's... debatable."

Bruh.

"Just get over here."

And Dream complies without any further complaints. Techno hopes he didn't sound too harsh, but his cellmate wasn't shivering uncontrollably, so he thinks he's in the clear.

"What?"

Techno lays his cape down on the very uncomfortable obsidian floor. Seriously, laying down for an hour is enough to make his joints ache. 0/10 would not recommend. How did Dream- right, he doesn't have a choice.

"What are you doing?"

"Making this prison less of a living hell. Come lay down."

"...I'm fine."

Why are you being so difficult, Techno wants to ask, even though he can guess the answer. When was the last time anyone did something remotely nice for him without any catch? Especially in here?

"Stop being difficult and sleep with me already."

Silence.

"...Pft."

"You know what I meant."

In his defense, everyone has their moments, and his usually don't happen that often.

"Stop being so difficult and-"

"Just... get over here. My cape is really soft."

"Is that why you wear it all the time?"

"...Among other things."

But mostly because it was really soft.

Dream still seemed apprehensive about the whole thing, and while usually Techno would have respected his wishes and left him be... the sight of his rival curling up in a corner of the cell, obviously trying to not aggravate his injuries as he did, was saddening even to him. Prime, he's really not good at this... but Dream probably definitely needs it.

So he pulls his roommate into a side hug, which is honestly the best he can manage without ruining his image. It's awkward, Dream is way too stiff, and maybe now would be the time to say something before embarrassment kills either or both of them. Something reassuring, comforting to help Dream relax in his presence for example.

"This is gonna be the best sleepover you've ever had."

...But the day he stops relying on humor for any kind of social interaction is the day it'll either stop working or get him killed.

"...This is so stupid."

And today was not that day.

Dream lets out a laugh, shaky but genuine, and relaxes. Techno sees that as a win. Since he's stuck here for a while, might as well make his favorite teletubby's life in here more bearable.

And it's finally over! It only took me... *looks at calendar* ...time is an illusion. Idk if I'm really happy with this, but on the bright side, it's... done? Now I really wanna continue that endersmile fanfic as I got some ideas, hopefully it won't take as long? God I am a writing disaster

Also if you saw any mistakes... no you didn't :)

#dreblr #technoblr #rivalsblr #rivals duo #keo's writing #techno angrily ranting about potatoes is hilarious to me #i hc him as being very passionate about them #so he takes them very seriously #look everyone portrays c!techno as this calm and collected warrior #he farmed potatoes for 14 hours straight he definitely has dumbass energy #tfw you don't know how to be funny

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spookybias · 3 years

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ᝰ en- as your nintendo-loving boyfriends ˎˊ˗

pairing: enhypen x gender neutral! reader. genre: fluff, humor. warning: brief mention of blowing up a window. word count: 704

⌕ › lee heeseung : luigi's mansion

hesseung believes the first game in the franchise is superior. he'll tell you he only plays the other installments because he played the first and it would be "disrespectful" to tadashi sugiyama, the designer of the first game. he likes to play with the lights turned off and in complete silence to get the full spooky experience. heeseung can play for hours, but ends up chickening out the minute he sees king boo, as he's the essence that haunts heeseung's nightmares.

"i am clenching my arsecheeks in fear right now."

⌕ › park jay : the legend of zelda

do not interrupt him. he takes this game seriously. jay keeps a booklet where he writes down instructions to perform different moves with his sword. he also takes notes to remember where things are. jay likes to replay the legend of zelda: wind waker because he thinks it's the best. his favorite thing about the legend of zelda is the bokoblins. he believes they're misunderstood. they aren't natural creatures native to hyrule, they're spawns of evil forced to serve the demons. if you get in front of the screen while he's in the middle of a boss fight, he's throwing his socks at you for sure.

"zelda is hotter than you."

⌕ › sim jake : donkey kong country

mans flip flops around when playing donkey kong country. no one knows why one day he's awesome and the next day he's horrible, but his excuse is that he plays the game better on game consoles rather than handheld systems because his thumbs have more support and space to move around. jake believes in donkey kong supremacy, and says that donkey kong should be the mascot of nintendo instead of mario. his heart BREAKS when he loses diddy kong to an enemy.

"i'm stressed because i just lost my best friend to a pile of crabs."

⌕ › park sunghoon : balloon fight

this grandpa loves his NES games, but his absolute favorite is balloon fight because of how straightforward it is. he'll tell you he plays it for the "charming graphics", but really, he plays it because it's easier than anything else. despite it being one of the easiest games, though, sunghoon still smashes the buttons like a crazy man and has a terrible sense of direction. he also gets real pissed when he falls in the water, like throws the controller kind of pissed. sunghoon considers NES and SNES to be the peak of humanity.

"this is nothing like balloon fight. you people don't know the classics."

⌕ › kim sunoo : kirby

he likes to visualize himself as kirby, the soft, lovable and huggable friend bold enough to step up and defend his homies. sunoo can go on for hours about how cute the graphics and characters are. he adores the numerous power-ups, and his favorite is the spark ability from plugg since it's efficient to use in battles. sunoo's favorite game in the franchise is kirby64: the crystal shards because he enjoys playing the mini games with you.

"i'm kirby and you're waddle dee. we make a good match and a great team!"

⌕ › yang jungwon : animal crossing

jungwon prefers games that require minimal effort. he doesn't like it when his palms get sweaty or the nervousness that sets in during a boss fight. so he settles for animal crossing. he views his neighbors as real friends and treats them with the upmost kindness and respect. sometimes it feels like he puts his residents before you, spending his money on amiibo cards and figurines instead of on your dates. tom nook is still waiting for him to pay off his house payments since he abandons the game frequently. he takes it personal when residents momentarily forget his name.

"____, i need a hug. roscoe doesn't recognize me with bed head."

⌕ › nishimura riki : explosive jake

do you even know what explosive jake is? probably not. riki prefers underrated games and believes that a hidden gem can always be found in the "games with demos" section of the nintendo eshop. his favorite thing about explosive jake is that it's not that hard to figure out what you're supposed to do in order to complete each level. you mainly just have to blow things up and solve puzzles to get around. riki might get a little too involved in the game.

"why unlock the window when you can just blow it up like in the game-"

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mlqcconfessions · 4 years

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hi!!! i noticed you also do headcanons and I was wondering if you could do mc's cat cockblocking the boys?? i really love your writing, and tysm!!!

I’ve never owned a cat, but I’ve watched enough videos on YouTube

I GOT THIS

MLQC Headcanon - Please do something about that cat

Victor

He’s not much of an animal person

And you know that

But that doesn’t mean you’ll throw away your cat after moving in with him (the one you’ve raised for nearly 12 years)

So you’re determined to make him accept little Whiskers

One of the biggest peeves he has is the fur

He doesn’t like having the hairs stick to his clothes (AND in the food)

He just doesn’t find cats that adorable like you do?

He doesn’t complain when you take him to buy stuff (he actually enjoys watching your face light up while picking things out)

But he regrets it because you were taking too long looking at everything in the store

So he now makes you shop online (so he doesn’t have to actually be there)

“Victor...! We HAVE to get this banana bed!!”

He doesn’t see the necessity but buys them for you anyways

There’s a lot of things he wants to say about that cat, but he stops himself

But he DOES want to say something about your cat continuously cockblocking him?

Every time he goes to kiss you, Whiskers is always there

She keeps meowing to get your attention (to which she always succeeds)

Damn cat.

He doesn’t like how you give her more affection than to him

She’s such an angel when you’re around

But is the devil’s incarnate when you’re not

He swears your cat gives him a look sometimes

“Victor, you’re being ridiculous” (if only you knew)

Damn cat.

You’re usually the one to take her to the vet

But you were busy with wrapping up a shoot one day (so HE had to take her)

Boy, did he hate every minute of it

Meowing like no tomorrow (he thought his ears would start coughing hairballs)

The appointment wasn’t all that splendid either

He thought about accidentally leaving the cat at the vet’s

But he was able to refrain from doing so

When he gets back, you’re waiting for him

He suddenly picks you up bridal style (doesn’t forget to glance at Whiskers)

He thinks he wins this round (but she’s the one in your arms when he wakes up the next morning)

Damn cat.

Kiro

He loves animals

He REALLY loves animals

But sometimes they don’t love him back (poor sunshine boy)

And your cat was one of them

He literally tries everything to make Whiskers like him

But it doesn’t work

“My evol......” (absolute charm doesn’t work on animals, apparently)

He becomes so sulky afterwards

Savin has to stop by the house to drag him to his next schedule

He gets up to leave, but then sees Whiskers come up to Savin’s leg

She starts purring so loud? (like she wants Kiro to hear?)

“Wha— No! That’s not fair!”

He sits back down, exclaiming that he won’t budge until he MAKES Whiskers like him

Savin is crying, once again

Kiro uses his knowledge as Key to create the most complex system you’ve ever seen in your life

“Ki..Kiro? What’s all this?” (you’re almost afraid to ask)

“It’s an automated treats dispenser. Whenever she passes by any of my things, this bad boy (he taps on a device) will drop her favorite treat. You can think of it as training her to associate me with food!”

“And....this is supposed to make her like you?”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment (he’s desperate, isn’t he?)

“Just watch, MC! Don’t come crying when she no longer follows you everywhere”

You sigh (I’ll have to apologize to Savin again)

So the treat dispenser idea worked in the beginning

Or at least, it seemed like it did

Whiskers figured out the trick pretty quickly (she was old, but not stupid)

She could care less about becoming familiar with Kiro’s scent, and was only interested in the snacks

He’s devastated now (he’s curled in the corner of the sofa)

Seriously, what made you marry this man?

Just then, Whiskers comes up to Kiro and sits on his lap (he’s squealing)

“MC! Look! I told you this would work!”

Lucien

He doesn’t particularly hate animals

But can’t imagine raising one himself

He was supportive when you said you wanted to adopt a stray cat (the one that’s been wandering around the orphanage)

He helps you buy the supplies to prepare the house

He even offers to take her for her shots (while you were working)

He was looking forward to expecting the cat to fall in love with him

As did the hundreds of animals in the past

He never thought this stray cat would become so attached to you

And attached as in ATTACHED

She literally gave him no room to come between the two of you

He pretends it doesn’t make him faze one bit

But he’s actually plotting using that sexy brain of his

He’s laughing at his own childishness

But when it involves your love, it’s a little different (he’s willing to play this game)

She’s a formidable opponent

As a pet, she has the upper hand in a lot of situations

For example...

She’s allowed to sit on your lap and stay there for who knows how long

She’s able to follow you into the bathroom (something Lucien wishes)

Theoretically speaking, she’s much more huggable than he was

Whiskers was smol and fluffy, but Lucien?

Alpha male was just BIG (his hair is fluffy, though)

He doesn’t like how he’s losing on so many levels

But he DOES have advantages as a husbando human

He can cook you breakfast

He can pick you up in his arms and swing you around

Even though he can’t sit on your lap (he’ll crush you if he does), he sure can rest his head on it

He can actually communicate with you? (this is the BIG ONE)

He understands your body language, your speech, and any changes in between

And he KNOWS that he is the only one in your life who will be able to get this intimate with you

Inside and outside

Gavin

He’s more of a dog person, himself

You already knew about Flyer (*see Rehearsal Date)

And you knew Gavin wasn’t actively looking for a pet

But he is more than willing to take in a stray cat you brought home

You ask him to name the cat, to which he appropriately names Whiskers

It’s not original, but I suppose it’s still cute

What did you expect

This is a man who names his motorcycle Sparky

Slowly but surely, he begins to love this cat as if she was his own

And Whiskers seems to love him the same, as well

You often find the two of them napping together, curled up in the sofa

When he comes back after a long mission, she’s always there by the door (she knows when he’s coming before you do?)

Despite all this

He loses it whenever she gets in the way of his affectionate moments with you

Other than that, the two have a great relationship

He has small scratches on his legs and arms

He gets new ones whenever he tries to kiss you

You end up cutting her nails more frequently than before (but she always finds a way to make them sharp again)

Minor makes fun of him when he tries to explain his dilemma

“Bro! You’re fighting with a CAT” (Gavin had to punch lightly nudge Minor’s stomach)

He knows it’s dumb, but he can’t help himself

He has his reasons for being so jealous over Whiskers

It’s because you’ve become so much more lovey-dovey after taking in the cat

Well, he’s not complaining (you were more adorable now)

But it would be nice if all that love was directed towards him

Right now, it was 7:3 (Whiskers : Gavin)

In order to fight back, HE becomes the affectionate one now

Kisses become a lot more........extravagant

It’s not like he’s not embarrassed about it

If anything, he wants to hide in a hole every time he slips his tongue in your mouth

“Gavin, if it’s gonna make you blush that hard then you don’t have to do it, you know?”

I’ve always wanted a cat, and this just solidifies my point

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detectiveconnxr · 4 years

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Love to hear your opinion! who're your favorite characters in DBH and why?

OOF alright I’m really resisting the urge to say that I love all of them equally because I dO but I’m gonna try to be objective here and really delve into my mind and pick out who I connect with the most

Also a disclaimer this gets longer than I thought it would sdjfkhsd so I’m gonna put all of this under the keep reading so it’s not like a mile long on people’s dashboards and you can choose to read all of it or not lmao !!!!

So…..if it wasn’t already obvious from my icon…..and my header……..and my username lmao one of my favorites is definitely Connor. Although I’m aware of a lot of the fandom’s favoritism towards Connor which affects the balance in content for the characters in this game (which is something that I’m hoping to fix with this blog and what I gif) I can’t help but pick him out as my personal favorite! He’s the whole reason that I got into the fandom in the first place. There was just non-stop Connor content on my dash when the game first came out and I was like “who tf is this twink that keeps showing up on tumblr” so I’m partially biased because of that, but also I think it’s his relationship with Hank that really sunk it’s claws into my brain, the overwhelming Dad & Son energy that exuded from these two had me HOOKED and I’m also a slut for Found Family tropes soooo (also Bryan Dechart really just be out here ruining my life with how good he looks in game and out of game)

But I also think that another aspect of Connor in the game that I really enjoy is how much control we have over deciding his character. Out of the main three, Connor is the only one who we have such a major option in deciding if we want to play him towards the Deviant ending or the Machine ending, and this variety in character that we get is SO interesting to me, because on one hand we have Lovable and Huggable Deviant Hunter who loves dogs and cares so much about Hank, and then like on the OPPOSITE end of that we’ve got Terminator Deviant Hunter who will Destroy Everyone at every opportunity and is a smug lil asshole with his “wHAtS uP LiEuTeNAnt” like I truly can’t get over that and it makes for some really fun gameplay when you can flip flop between these two different personalities

Another character that I seriously love with my whole heart is Luther, who NEEDS more love and appreciation in this fandom because he is a whole ass sweetheart!!!!! Like, he is quite literally one of the most kindhearted and caring people in the game, he’s a gentle giant who puts the needs of others before himself. Every time he comes on screen I just point at him and go “LUTHER YOU DESERVE THE WORLD” because he really does, and there’s a scene that stands out to me when I was trying to get the Zlatko ending for Kara (which i do not recommend because it is HEARTBREAKING) where you can interact with Luther while Kara’s memory is wiped and he breaks out of his programming for just a second to tell Kara that he’s sorry and it’s such a small scene but it KILLS me every time

Okay this is maybe getting way too long because I ramble too much but I’d like to talk about Markus and that I adore his character as well and him and Carl’s relationship really stands out to me when I think about the game, a part of me just wishes that he had more of a reason I guess for wanting to be the liberator of all the android’s. I’m trying to word this in the right way that doens’t sound stupid because I do think that Markus has a good reason and I like that he’s the leader and it fits his character, but there are moments where he talks about how he was just a “slave to the humans” and I can’t help but think “markus….you had like the perfect life with carl and he loved you and didn’t order you around and taught you to be alive w-where did this slave thing come from” but I’m going to blame this lil nugget on David Cage’s writing lmao because other than that there are a lot of interesting moments that talk about power and responsibility of being Jericho’s leader and how Markus is grappling with that and the overwhelming weight of it all that I really enjoy (also jesse williams…….has no right being that gorgeous)

Alright I think I might have answered this WAY too thoroughly lmao im sorry anon, i PERHAPS get way too passionate about these characters, so this is my two cents!!!! I mean tbh I really love all of the characters minus like….Leo and Todd so it’s truly hard for me to focus on just a couple characters because i wanna talk about why i love ALL of them (despite the…..poor writing sometimes attached to them that I again blame david cage for) so thank you for this question!!!! This was super fun to answer ^^

#my asks #detroit become human #i really just went and typed a whole ass essay anon im so sorry sdfjkshdf #i wanted to keep this simple but i cant help myself #because the characters are like the best part of this game and i have A Lot of Feelings about them so #thank u so much for asking i love answering questions like this!!!!#id like to add some honorary mentions in the tags here because i also love them equally but didnt want to ramble further #kara - hank - chloe - simon - gavin (regrettably....i blame neil newbon)

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is0gild · 4 years

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Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 3

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 5,841

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

I’d done it.

I’d gotten a job.

My very first job.

And I was already regretting it big time.

But really, could you blame me? I’d had to interact with three, count them, three people so far. Would the torture never end? No, because it had only just begun! And those were just my boss and coworkers, I hadn’t even gotten to a customer yet. I was dreading that inevitable moment as it drew ever nearer with each passing second.

Oh, and did I mention the uniform? Because, dear lord, if I’d known this is what I’d be signing up for, I probably never would have applied in the first place. For starters, I had to wear a light blue fitted, long sleeved, off shoulder blouse which, granted, wasn’t that bad. But that was only the tip of the iceberg. It was paired with a black mini skirt that stopped a couple inches short of the knees. Can you believe it? A mini skirt. I didn’t see any of my male coworkers sporting booty shorts, no, they got to be fully covered up in white button ups, blue vests, and black slacks. Talk about sexist!

But a job was a job, and I had to start somewhere.

And that somewhere just so happened to be the Ice Palace - a small ice cream shop located in the food court of a local mall known as Dusk Town Center. The walls of the little parlor were decorated in a jagged, cerulean, semi-transparent plastic, simulating the whole frozen castle vibe. The mascot was Sven the Reindeer, which was actually sort of weird to me. I mean, I get it, reindeers are up where it’s cold and snowy all the time, but weren’t they really more of a Santa thing? I just couldn’t really picture them chilling in a frosty throne room, you know what I mean? But hey, I guess it just gave the marketing team an excuse to sell cute caribou plushies, which were everywhere - dangling from the ceiling, sitting atop the cash registers, filling boxes upon boxes in the back… basically anywhere there wasn’t ice cream, there was a stuffed, huggable, googly eyed little deer.

All in all, not exactly a dream job, but pickers can’t be choosers. Especially when the picker, aka me, had flunked out of twenty-some-odd interviews before finally landing this one. Don’t get me wrong, Rayne and Riku had been great teachers. The problem had been with the pupil. No matter how hard they tried to iron out all my nervous habits and anxiety-induced rambling, a few quirks had still managed to slip through. This had led to no small number of awkward moments and don’t-call-us-we’ll-call-yous. But at last I’d managed to keep it together long enough in one interview to trick someone into hiring the trainwreck that was me.

Just my luck it had to be the frigging food court ice cream place with the stupidly short skirts.

It was my first day on the job. The guy who was training me had left me alone after setting me up with a handful of orientation videos to watch and telling me to come get him when I was done. I was seated in one dark corner of this small room that was part storage space, part break area. Before me was a tiny TV atop a VCR that could only be from the Stone Age. Seriously, I didn’t even know such relics were still in circulation anymore. The videos were just about as dated and mind-numbing as you’d expect. They included one such gem as, now that I was a valued employee of Ice Palace, I wasn’t just a part of team but a family. It also felt the need to cover the obvious, things like don’t be rude, don’t handle the product without washing your hands first, don’t kiss, grope, or otherwise manhandle coworkers or customers, don’t go getting yourself locked in a freezer… you know, things I would never, ever do in the first place, not in a million years.

Suffice it to say, I was bored out of my skull.

That said, this was way better than having to talk to an actual human being. So it probably wasn’t hard to imagine my disappointment when the credits at last rolled on the final tape. Sighing, I rose from my chair and clicked off the ancient television set before turning to face the door across the room. My fellow employee that I needed to check in with now was somewhere on the other side of it.

Where the customers were.

Waiting.

Lurking.

I shuddered.

I then took the opportunity to fidget with my skirt, tugging at the hem a bit.

Note to self: use first paycheck to invest in some tights. This whole bare legs thing just was not working for me.

Ugh, why a mini skirt of all things?! I mean, come on, it was the Ice Palace, shouldn’t we be dressing more the part? I’m thinking Inuit attire, I’m talking fur-lined boots and layers upon layers of thick, fuzzy coats covering me from head to toe. But a skirt? It just wasn’t realistic! If I were in a real castle made entirely of frost, I’d be freezing my rear off right about now!

I then adjusted the black cap with a blue bill atop my head that sported our cursive logo, complete with a teeny doodle of a palace, before tightening my ponytail that stuck out the hole in the back. I’d opted for that over my usual braid. Figured it would make it harder for me to fiddle with my hair when I got anxious.

Unfortunately, I had now run out of trivial (but one hundred percent necessary) ways to procrastinate. Guess there was no putting it off any longer. I slowly approached the door, watching it grow more ominous with every step that brought me closer to it. Halting in front of it, I reached for the knob. But then I stopped, hesitating before retracting my hand and looking back over my shoulder towards a second door on the opposite wall, a green Exit sign glowing over it.

The door to freedom.

Perhaps it wasn’t too late for me to follow my dreams and become a hermit. I could always buy a fake beard. No one would ever know the difference.

My eyes darted back and forth between the two doors, my breath becoming shallow and my heartrate quickening. Then, biting down on my lower lip, I took a step towards that Exit sign and-

“There you are!”

I froze with a wince before turning my back on that tantalizing exit, instead facing my coworker who was now leaning in through the other door. He was tall with brown eyes and his head shaved bald beneath his own cap. A thin, black goatee wrapped around the friendly grin he was shooting my way as he now fully stepped into the room to join me, looking quite dapper in his vest and neatly ironed pants.

I chuckled nervously, clasping my hands behind my back. “Er, yeah… here I am.”

Drat. So close!

“Was wondering if you’d gotten lost, figuring as how you should’ve been long done with those videos by now.”

“Nope, was just… on my way, Lucius.”

“Ah ah!” he chided, waggling a finger in my face before gesturing to his work attire. “When I’m in the uniform, it’s Frozone.”

I blinked. “...Fro...zone?”

He nodded solemnly. “Yup. Because when I’m on the clock, I’m in the zone.” That last word was emphasized with a wide sweep of his outstretched hand before he tacked on dramatically, “The Frozen Zone.”

“...I see.”

He seemed to take great pride in his work.

I wondered if I would ever be that dedicated.

...or if I ever even really wanted to be that dedicated.

“So, um… Mr Frozone… what’s next?”

He jerked a thumb over his shoulder back towards the door he’d come in through. “Figured we could get you up front now, start familiarizing you with the space and equipment.”

“R-really? So soon?” My fingers twitched, reaching for my braid before remembering it wasn’t there. Instead I settled for crossing my arms. “You think I’m ready for that?”

Answer: A big fat no.

“Well, let’s see here.” He started ticking off fingers, “You’ve watched the videos, you’ve had the grand tour, you’ve-”

“No I haven’t!” I said quickly, shaking my head. “Had the grand tour, that is.”

“No? Well alright then.” He stepped past me and further into the room, then stopped and pivoted around to face me, spreading his arms out to either side of him. “Here it is, in all its glory. Just breathe in that majesty.”

This cramped break-slash-storage room was it, apparently. Besides the TV and VCR in one corner, most of it was filled with giant, industrial-grade fridges for housing all the ice cream. Plus a couple of large metal sinks, plus the aforementioned boxes upon boxes of reindeer plushies. Squeezed into one corner was a humble couch that’d seen better days, along with a small table with a couple rickety-looking chairs. A giant bulletin board hanging from one wall completed the look, covered in workplace guidelines, announcements, and different colored flyers.

“Oh.” I pursed my lips to one side. “Very, ah… very majestic.”

“Isn’t it just?” he nodded, hands on his hips as he smiled broadly. “Welp, that’s that. Now let’s get you up to the registers to continue your training.”

I hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe I should watch the videos one more time. Just to make sure, that… uh...”

Reason… reason… dear god, please, come up with a reason, any reason!

“...that I... didn’t... miss anything?”

He laughed. “You’re thorough and detail oriented. I like that.” He planted his hands on my shoulders and steered me towards the door of doom. “Feel free to rewatch those tapes on your own time, but for now, let’s move on.”

“But-”

He gave me a gentle but firm push and I stumbled through the door and straight into my own personal hell.

Alright, fine, maybe I was being a bit over dramatic. There weren’t even any customers in line at the moment. Seemed like it was just after the lunch rush and most of the people had already eaten and cleared out. There were just a couple families left dotting the tables out there in the otherwise empty food court beyond our countertop.

Swallowing my nerves and inhaling deeply to calm myself, I glanced around my more immediate area. I was a bit curious after all, seeing as how this was my first real time on this side of the cash register. But really? There wasn’t much to it. There was a giant frozen display proudly presenting a rainbow of different flavored ice cream. Beneath it behind the counter were some small metal doors that seemed to be some more refrigerated storage space. In one corner was this fancy looking ice cream machine, with stacks on stacks of empty cups and cones beside it. There were some large menus overhead on the back wall and beneath them, a snowman crudely painted onto the door that I had just been so unceremoniously shoved through. Then of course, those plastic “ice” walls and reindeer dolls overflowing from every crook and cranny that they could conceivably be crammed into.

That about summed it up. That, plus the burly blonde guy manning one of the registers that would be my second coworker.

He turned his head, giving me a look that admittedly wasn’t quite a scowl, but wasn’t exactly warm and inviting either.

I gulped and unconsciously took a step back, immediately bumping into something. Looking over my shoulder, that something turned out to be a someone: Lu… erm, I mean, Frozone.

Hand on my shoulder once more, he guided me forward and I took a few reluctant steps closer to the other man. “Elsa, you remember Kristoff from earlier, right?”

I gave a weak nod and raised my hand in a tiny wave. “H-hi again.”

He only continued to fix me with a dull stare.

“Oh yeah, you two are going to be fast friends, I can already tell,” Frozone beamed. “Now Kristoff here is going to be taking over your training and showing you the ropes up here. There’s a new shipment in back that I should get to sorting out, but just give a holler if you need me.”

“Wait!” I snatched at his sleeve as he turned to leave through the back door. My eyes darted from him to Kristoff and back before I whispered, “Do you really have to go?”

I had actually been growing comfortable around him. He seemed nice.

This Kristoff guy on the other hand seemed, erm… how should I put this… shall we say, grumpy?

Frozone chuckled, tugging himself free of my grasp and patting me on the head. “I’m flattered, girl, but I’m a taken man. Honey is the light of my life and trust me, you do not want to get on that woman’s bad side.”

“Wha-?” I blinked a couple times. “No, that’s not what I-”

Annnnnnd there he went, calling a cheerful, “Have fun, you two!” over his shoulder as he disappeared into the back.

Sighing, I turned to face Kristoff and was greeted once more by that same deadpan expression.

Oh yeah. So much fun.

Taking a cautious step towards him, I cleared my throat and rubbed my left elbow. “So… that Frozone… really seems to take his job seriously, huh?”

“...don’t even get me started,” he said flatly.

So he speaks.

Barely.

I tried again. “What do I call you? Kristoff okay? Or just Kris? ...Kristo?” I was met with total silence. “...Oh, maybe that’s already short for something, like… Kristopher? Kristofel? Kris...toforos?” Mayday! Mayday! I was beginning to enter nervous babbling territory. Send help. “Or perhaps, oh! Do we all get theme names? Like Frozone? What would yours be? Are you the, uh… hmm, the, um… the Iceman?”

Face unchanged and dead serious, he said at last, “Oh yeah. That’s me. The Iceman. I love ice. Ice is my life. I eat, drink, and breathe nothing but ice. At night, I go to my ice house, eat my ice dinner, tuck myself into my ice bed, and cuddle with a bag of ice like it’s a teddy bear.”

“...really?”

If possible, his eyelids drooped even further. “No.”

“Oh.”

I knew that.

He heaved a soft, grumbling huff. “Kristoff is fine. Let’s go, new girl.”

He left his station behind the cash register to walk over to the display housing the frozen tubs, slapping a hand down on top of the chilly glass. “Ice cream,” he explained dryly. He then bent down to open one of the metal doors below, pulling out what appeared to be a plastic wrapped, solid bar of sugary sweetness on a stick. “More ice cream.” He tossed it back in with the rest just like it, kicking the door shut. He then picked up a rounded, steel utensil. “Ice cream scoop. You know how to use one, right?”

“Ah,” I brightened. “Yes, of course!”

“Congratz, you’re at least as competent as a four-year-old.”

Hey now, rude.

Returning the scoop to where he’d found it, Kristoff then walked over to the giant machine in the corner. As I approached it as well, I began to appreciate just how much of a monster this thing truly was with all its buttons, switches, levers, and tubes on it. It was actually kind of intimidating. What on earth could they all even possibly do?

“Combo soft serve/milkshake machine,” Kristoff continued on in his bored monotone as he planted an elbow atop the thing, leaning against it. He pointed at a big lever on the left over one tube. “Ice cream.” Next at another big lever, this one on the right over a second tube with some sort of gizmo sticking out of it. “Milkshakes.” His index finger shifted down to three large buttons running down the bottom right corner in front, first indicating the top one. “Turns it on and off.” Then the bottom button. “Flavor swapper.”

“And this one?” My fingers drifted towards the middle button.

“No touchy,” he lightly swatted my hand away. “That one makes it angry. And trust me, you won’t like it when it’s angry.”

I tipped my head to one side. “...why would there even be a button like that?”

He shrugged, intoning airily, “No one knows.”

I quirked an eyebrow at him, then shook my head, my gaze returning to that monstrosity of a machine. “What about all those other levers and switches on the side?”

“Woah, slow down, newbie. You gotta learn to crawl before you can walk. For now, just stick to the basics. Ice cream. Shakes. Off and on. Flavor,” he pointed to each one in turn again as he listed them off before giving me yet another dull look. “Am I going too fast for you? Maybe you should be writing this down.”

It was my turn for some eyelid droopage. “I think I got it.”

“Good. You’re ready for your first customer then. And as luck would have it,” he pointed past me, “here he comes.”

“What?!” I spun around on my heel. Some guy had just entered the food court on the opposite end from the Ice Palace, but was making a beeline straight for us.

Panic mode initiated. Hands? Clammy. Face? Blanched. Heart? Pounding. All systems a go.

“Relax, new girl.” Kristoff slapped me on the back, forcing a tiny oof out of me. “I know this dude, we all do around this place. He and his girlfriend are mallrats that’ll spend hours here, visiting all the stores and making friends with everyone. You should have no problem. Total training wheels.”

His words did nothing to ease my growing nerves and I must have been doing a terrible job of hiding it because he snorted, “You’ll be fine. Just step up to the register.” He waved a hand towards it.

I swallowed hard, then numbly walked over to it.

“Smile,” he pointed to his own grin that he now had plastered on for show, looking remarkably strange on a man I had seen zero emotion from all day. I forced my own smile and he flinched. “Ehh, maybe not so much.” I toned it down a bit. “Better. Now just say, ‘Welcome to Ice Palace, how may I take your order?’ and the rest should be a no brainer.”

Easy for you to say, buddy.

Taking a small shaky breath, I looked away from him and towards the customer once more just as he closed in on the counter. He had bright blue eyes, brown spiky hair, and a huge grin that just about literally split his face in two.

Okay, Elsa, you can do this.

“Welcome to Ice Palace, how…”

Oh fudge, I’d already forgotten the line! My mind was drawing a complete blank. The blankest of blanks.

“...uh…”

Panic, panic, panic!

“...how… you… order?”

Hi, yes, one stammering idiot at your service.

I heard the smack of Kristoff’s facepalm before he whispered under his breath, “Eh, close enough.”

Seemingly unfazed by my mental malfunction, the guy just continued to flash those pearly whites. “Hey there, could I get two bars of the Paopu Paradise ice cream please?”

“Ah… y-yes, right away!” I darted over to the frozen display case, picking up one of the scoops and reaching for the sliding glass door in back. However, I froze when I heard a throat clearing and turned to see Kristoff jerking a thumb towards the freezer space below.

...oh right, bars. He’d said he’d wanted bars of ice cream. Fumbling to put the scoop back, I bent down to open the cold door, located the stack labeled “Paopu Paradise” and snatched two off the top before straightening back up and thrusting them proudly over the counter into the customer’s face.

Another throat clear.

I glanced at Kristoff again, who mouthed the word ‘munny’ at me.

...minor detail.

“Er, yes… that’ll be, uh…” I stared down at one of the plastic-sheathed ice creams, spinning it around by the stick, as if looking for the price tag.

Kristoff groaned before tiredly commanding, “Cash register.” I hastily moved to stand in front of it once more. He pointed to one of the keys. “Push that one.” Done. “Now that one and that one.” Done and done. A munny total appeared on the register’s little black screen and he gestured for me to go on. I read off the amount and the customer, still sunny faced as ever, handed me the munny. To my credit, I only flinched slightly when the cash drawer noisily popped open, allowing the munny to be deposited.

After slamming it back shut, I looked to Kristoff again, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth. “Now?”

He closed his eyes and gave me a solemn nod.

Feeling my muscles relax slightly, I turned back to the customer, offering him his two ice creams once again.

“Thanks!” he chirped, taking them both in one hand and ripping the plastic off one before immediately chomping down hard into the frozen treat, making me wince.

Jeez, this guy must have had the teeth of a viking!

After swallowing the bite, he licked his lips and eyed me curiously. “You’re new, right?”

“Gee, how did you ever guess?” Kristoff deadpanned. I merely turned my head to narrow my eyes up at him.

Ignoring the comment from the peanut gallery, the guy offered his free hand to me. “You’ll probably be seeing me around a lot, so figure I should introduce myself. I’m Sora! Nice to meetcha!”

I hesitated before taking his hand gingerly and shaking it. “...Elsa. A pleasure.”

He froze mid-lick of his ice cream bar, blinking at me. “Elsa?” Lowering his snack a little now, he cocked his head. “Hey, you just moved in with Riku and Ray, didn’t you?”

My head rocked back at that. “How did you-?”

“Stalker,” Kristoff stretched the word out in a low singsong.

Sora’s eyes widened. “Wha? No, no, I know Riku! He’s my cousin and my best bud! He’d mentioned renting out their spare room to an old gal pal of Ray’s and that you were going through a bit of a rough patch, that’s all!” That blinding grin was slowly returning. “Hey, if there’s any way I can help out too, just let me know!”

“Oh.” My brow furrowed. “Uh… thanks…”

...you complete and total stranger.

“Don’t mention it! We’re friends now!”

Ah. My mistake. We were friends.

Apparently.

“Anyway, gotta run,” he waggled the second unopened bar slightly, “Kairi’s waiting for me and she’ll murder me if I let this melt! See ya around!” He waved good-bye to us over his shoulder as he walked off, happily slurping away at his own ice cream. I found myself absently returning the wave, one corner of my lips twitching up.

That guy? Bit of an oddball. But he seemed sweet.

“Not bad, newbie,” I heard Kristoff say as he poked the bill of my Ice Palace cap down, making it cover my eyes.

“Really?” I asked, righting my hat and looking up at him. Surprise of surprises, he was actually smiling.

...okay, it wasn’t so much a smile as it was a faint tightening of the mouth. But hey, I’ll take it.

“Not great, either,” he shrugged. “Not even remotely. But it’s a start. You’ll get better at it as you go. Now let’s cover-”

“Yo, Kristoff!”

Recognizing Frozone’s voice, we turned to see him poking a head out the door to the back. “Could you give me a quick hand with moving a particularly heavy box?”

“Sure thing, be there in just a sec,” Kristoff called. Frozone (gah, it will never not be weird calling him that) nodded before disappearing once more.

My insides shriveled somewhat. “You’re leaving me by myself up here?”

He gave my arm a light, reassuring pat. “I’ll be real quick, promise. It’s dead right now, so you probably won’t even have to deal with a single customer before I get back. If you do, don’t worry, you’re a natural. Just take their order, easy-peasy. And if you need help, tell the customer to wait a moment and come get me.”

I once again was reaching for my braid. It once again was not there. “What if they don’t want to wait a moment?”

“Just tell ‘em we’re out of whatever flavor they want and say ‘Let me see if we have any more in the back.’ Got it?”

“I guess so…”

“Good! Be back before you know it.” He jogged off and out the door, but a second later, he was leaning back through it again. “Remember, you say…” he twirled a finger sideways, prompting me.

“...let me see if we have any more in the back?” I ventured in a tiny voice.

He gave me a thumbs up. “Perfect.” Then he was gone again.

I moved to stand at the counter once more, inhaling and exhaling slowly. “Let me see if we have any more in the back,” I repeated, muttering it softly to myself as I eyed the food court warily.

He was right though, it was basically a ghost town out there. Everyone had already eaten for lunch and had all probably packed themselves back into the various stores by now. Plus it was a weekday. Thank goodness my first day hadn’t been on the weekend, I most certainly was not ready for the stampede of shoppers that would have come with that! As it was right now, there were only a few folks out there milling around for an afternoon snack and luckily none of them seemed to be craving ice cream. So I could maybe relax… at least for the moment.

Today… actually wasn’t going too bad so far. The job itself didn’t seem all that terrible. I was getting along with my coworkers, even that Kristoff fellow. He’d acted all tough at first, but seemed actually somewhat friendly underneath that cool exterior. I’d even helped my first customer! And with minimal mistakes, no less!

Maybe… maybe I could actually do this!

Okay sure, was I still a bit of a tangled ball of anxiety inside? Yes. Would I continue to be with each new customer? Oh, without a doubt. But with time, maybe, hopefully, it would lessen? At least somewhat?

A girl could dream anyway.

Regardless, I was doing it. The whole independence thing. Taking control of my life. I still had a long way to go, but this little ice cream job was the first small step. If I could do this, then maybe, just maybe there wasn’t much I couldn’t do. It wouldn’t be easy, and there was still a lot more for me to figure out. Like, a lot more. But I could and would. I just needed to believe in myself.

Feeling just a bit more on the chipper side now - an emotion that I hadn’t truly felt in a long time - I glanced around the food court again, really taking it all in this time, especially the other brightly colored restaurants that formed our neighbors.

There was The Big Olive, which served greek food. Currently a woman with heavy lavender eyeshadow and thick brown hair tied back into a long ponytail with curly fringe stood behind the register, idly flipping through a magazine. Then there was a chinese place called Mushu’s Kingdom with a cute little red dragon at the tail end of the logo. Next, there was Beast Burgers. I’d thought Kristoff cranky, but the big, hairy guy working there at the moment made Kristoff look like a cuddly puppy. Right beside that was a Cajun/Creole-style restaurant called Frog Legs, followed by a place called Sugar Rush, which looked like it served mostly pastries and any other sweet that wasn’t ice cream. Judging by the several large signs they had up, they seemed particularly proud of their cinnamon buns, which looked to be more frosting than bread.

Then there was a Lucky Cat Café, which was basically a coffee empire that had a shop located practically on every last street corner in the universe. I recalled that’s where Riku had purchased my mocha from the day I had officially moved in with Rayne and him. He’d probably bought it from this exact one that I was looking at right now. The mall was only a couple short blocks away from our apartment after all, which made it extra convenient that I’d managed to get the job here.

At that moment, I could see a woman with shoulder-length blue hair working the register while her coworker, a younger guy with short, messy blonde hair, blended a frothy drink nearby. They both were wearing green visors with felt feline ears sticking out the top. The blonde gave the grey cat with stripes perched atop their muffin display counter a quick pat on the head as he passed it by to reach the awaiting customer. It was only when I saw the creature’s tail twitch that I realized that was an actual living, breathing cat. Huh. A pet? Kept in the food court? How odd. It must have been very well trained. Probably just napped in that single spot all day, every day.

Last but not least, directly across the way from the Ice Palace was a Pizza Planet, its green logo sporting a giant, round pizza pie with a Saturn-like ring wrapped around it. It tied neck-and-neck with our ice cream parlour for most over the top decorations. The interior was designed to look like the inside of a UFO and was littered with toy rocket ships and little green alien squeeze-dolls everywhere. Stationed at the cash register was a girl with short raven hair, clapping and cheering her coworker on.

Said coworker was a tall, lanky guy who, like his fellow employee, was decked out in a dark grey polo with red trimmed sleeves and collar, accompanied by a pair of black fingerless gloves and khakis underneath his black, snuggly-tied full-body apron. His long, wild crimson hair trailed down past the nape of his neck and spilled out in spikes over his open-topped red visor. He was grinning cockily as he spun not one, but two massive discs of pizza dough, one on each index finger.

He tossed one up high into the air before catching it and starting it spinning on his fingertip again. Then he was using some sort of wizardry to send the dough half rolling, half flying across his shoulders as he swapped the other disc to his left hand, freeing up his right to catch the first saucer of dough just in time and keep it whirling, much to his coworker’s delight.

It was as he was giving one of the circular slabs of dough another toss up that he seemed to realize he’d gained a second audience member. His eyes shifted to meet mine and then widened as his whole body locked up. The disc still balanced on his finger spun off and toppled to the ground.

As for its airborne twin?

Splat!

Right on top of his head, covering his whole face.

A very unladylike snort escaped me, followed by a burst of long and uncontrollable laughter that I tried to smother behind my fingers. I was still laughing when he lifted the dough enough to peek one eye at me, expression unreadable as he slowly raised his other hand in a small twitch of a wave.

My giggling, along with my heart, abruptly stopped as I gasped, paled, squeaked and ducked down behind the counter.

...I’d laughed at him.

Oh my god, I can’t believe I’d laughed at him!

Heart thudding in my ears now, I stayed in a low crouch in my hiding spot, trembling hands gripping the edge of the countertop above me as my tongue dried to literal sandpaper.

Had he heard me laughing? Had he seen me laughing? What am I saying, of course he saw! That’s why he’d waved!

Oh dear lord, what did the wave mean? Was it an angry wave? An ‘I see you laughing at me, jerkface’ wave? A ‘How dare you mock me thusly’ wave? A ‘You have besmirched my honor, villain, now we must duel to the death’ wave? No, no, no, I didn’t know how to duel! What kind of duel would it even be? Pistols at dawn? I knew nothing about using a frigging pistol! Or any gun for that matter! I was dead! I was toast! I was-

Wait! No! Stop! Get a hold of yourself, woman! Gah, calm down and stop letting your imagination run wild with completely ridiculous notions!

I screwed my eyes shut, breathing in deep through my nose and holding it as I counted to ten before releasing.

It had probably just been a normal wave. A ‘Hello there, yes, I’m a dork who drops pizza dough on my head’ wave. He probably wasn’t mad, nor did he want to seek vengeance in blood. He was probably now just standing there, confused by the crazy weirdo who’d dived for cover behind her counter like she was in a war zone under enemy fire.

Alright. Time to pull myself back up. This was salvageable. Just stand and… I don’t know… wave back? Yeah, that sounded like a plan. Okay, you got this.

My legs tensed as I prepared to stand once more. In three… two…

What’d I’d failed to consider, as I’d be learning in two frightfully short seconds, was that there was another possibility. Another string of events that could have and, in fact, were set in motion the moment I’d dropped into hiding. That instead of just staying behind his own counter, the redhead had gotten curious about my odd reaction and had decided to take it upon himself to investigate. Therefore, he’d announced to his coworker that he was taking his ten, allowing him to leave his little pizzeria and cross the food court on a course heading straight for the ice cream shop directly across the way.

I have to wonder… and I mean really, really wonder… what were the odds?

The odds that he’d stop in front of the counter right across from where I was concealed.

The odds that he’d be leaning over it to look down at me exactly as I was springing back up to stand.

The odds that his lips were positioned just perfectly for my own to come crashing into his as I looked up.

That’s right.

I’d frigging kissed him.

...Hey, universe? It’s me, Elsa. If you’re listening, now would be a really great time for me to spontaneously develop the ability to rewind time by, say, I don’t know… thirty seconds so I can make completely different life choices.

...No? Not happening?

Well fudge.

Author's note: BEHOLD! There, at long last, having traded his spinning chakrams in for spinning pizzas, is our favorite Fire Boy! Or rather… there his lips are anyway… hehehe… xD Trust me, the fun is only beginning, you're in for one rollercoaster of a ride with this story!

So here we finally get the main setting for a majority of this story - what is basically the universe of KH transformed into a mall xP So many stupid little references will abound in the chapters to come, I'm sure you'll get sick of it! And I know Frozone/Incredibles isn't in KH, but that is a travesty which I had to correct by including him in this fic! I mean, c'mon, he's perfect for working at an ice cream shop alongside Elsa! As for Kristoff, I know he's normally a big ol' softie, but don't forget he had his whole tough guy routine when he first met Anna at the beginning of the movie! And as you can see, he's already starting to warm up to Elsa. And all the food court restaurants and faces (yes, even the cat) this chapter were KH/Disney references, some might be more obvious than others tho… but if any were too vague, Elsa will get to meet a lot of them in the chapters ahead so that should clear 'em all up! Oh, and ice cream flavor names! I'm not gonna miss an opportunity to steal all those ice creams from BBS, but come on, this was Sora, so OF COURSE I had to make up something that was Paopu flavored for him! I imagine the description of the Paopu Paradise flavor on the menu is something like: "Made with real Paopu fruit straight from Destiny Islands with little star sprinkles swirled in! Legend has it if two people share this ice cream, their destinies become intertwined."

In any case, on to the more pressing question… how will our lil ball of nerves Ice Queen handle this mortifying "greeting" with her new redheaded friend that she has yet to even learn the name of? Hope you stay tuned to find out in the next chapter! Thank you so much for reading!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

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melodiouswhite · 4 years

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Oh No, Emotions! - Ch. 09

9. Pets and fun times

His delusions were back.

He hadn't had them for years, but shortly after Edwina's arrival, they had returned with a vengeance.

One moment he was just doing his thing and suddenly an apparition of him would appear and speak to him, like he had in life.

It was driving him mad.

And the only way to make it stop, was to roll up his sleeves, dig his fingernails into his skin and drag them down his arms.

He loathed himself, because he had promised Gabriel to never scratch himself again.

But he had to. He needed the pain. He needed it to remind him that what he saw wasn't real. It was the only thing that could snap him out of these fits of insanity.

Once his grip on reality had become so weak, that he had mistaken Edwina for a person, who was long dead. When his haze had cleared, Luise had been gripping his head, speaking soothing words in German. Poor Edwina had panicked and called for help. He had spent the rest of the afternoon bawling into her shoulders and babbling apologies.

Henry tried not to think about how and why she reminded him so much of him.

But it was getting harder the longer he knew her.

And he hated himself for it.

She wasn't him. Not a replica of him.

She was herself.

And she was a wonderful (and extremely cute) girl.

Sometimes, when he looked at her and thought of him, she showed one of those traits that were just so completely her.

That gruff gentility, her rough gestures, the dorky ways in which she showed, that she cared.

Her catlike behaviour, hot temper and the way she invested herself into everything she did.

Her feral green eyes, her raw physical strength, her astuteness.

The sweet, fruity scent of cherries and pomegranates that surrounded her, that he couldn't associate with any other than her.

And, of course, her absolutely adorable, nigh intolerably fluffy mane of hair, that just begged for a pet. Gabriel jokingly called it Edwina's “emotional support hair”, but to Henry it wasn't a joke. Not really.

Edwina still didn't know what to make of the incident.

No, not the one during their awkward Sex Ed lesson.

A few days ago, he had been explaining oxidation of metals to her, when he had suddenly frozen. But when she had asked him, if he was okay, he had stared at her, like she was a ghost.

“Stop haunting me! Leave me alone! You're not real, you're dead! Go away, go away!”

Then he had broken down. Edwina, never slow to access a situation, had quickly got Luise. The blonde had managed to snap him out of it, but they had spent the rest of the afternoon in the archive, with Henry's face buried in the brunette's shoulder and him wailing apologies over and over.

She had asked the other three what that was about. But they hadn't answered.

Luise had refused to say anything on account on her “professional discretion”.

Gabriel and Hastie had just looked away uncomfortably, with the latter telling her, that it was better, if she didn't know.

She had got huffy, rightfully so in her opinion.

But there was nothing she could do about it, at least not yet.

Now she was sitting in the living room on a table with Gabriel and he was teaching her chess.

Hastie was sitting with them to make sure that they both played fair.

“It's okay, if you lose”, Gabriel was assuring her, sounding a little cocky. “After all, you are a first timer.”

Edwina smirked. “Well, yeah. But according to what you told me earlier, if I move the queen over there, I should-”

He stared at her. “Oh no, you wouldn't dare!”

Her smirk widened. “Oh, but I would! Check mate!”

Gabriel gaped at her. “That is … that is …”

Hastie chuckled: “Now, now, Gabe. She beat you fair and square.”

The black-haired lawyer gripped his head dramatically. “NOOO!!! THIS CAN'T BE REAL!”

Edwina snorted. “Is he always so dramatic about it?”, she asked Hastie.

The hoary doctor shrugged. “His mother is an opera singer. He got the drama from her. He doesn't show it often, but he has those drama fits from time to time.”

Gabriel glared at him. “Shut up, you damn tell-tale!”

Hastie mock-gasped: “Tell-tale? I say! Henry!”, he called towards the couch in front of the telly, “Do control your spouse!”

Henry turned around. “Gabriel, face it!”, he giggled, “You have been defeated by a first-timer!”

The black-haired man huffed. “My own husband! I am betrayed!”

Edwina just grinned. “I like this game! It's easier than I thought!”

Henry smiled softly. “That's because you're a genius and a natural.”

She blushed, stood up and went over to him.

“What are ya watching-whoa!”

He had pulled her in and was now hugging her tightly.

Her blush deepened.

“Henry, why are you hugging me all the time?”

“You're just so huggable”, he purred into her hair.

Huggable?!

“Okaaayyy”, she mumbled, her face now redder than a crayfish.

“Wait.” His hug became tense. “Does it bother you? I'm sorry, I'll just-”

But before he could let go, she grabbed his arms.

“Don't you dare!”, she snarled and leaned back.

He giggled happily.

She giggled along, when she felt him rub his cheek against her hair.

Cute.

But Hastie was frowning. “Really, Henry? In front of your husband?”

Suddenly she felt a pang in her heart.

Wait, why does it suddenly bother me that they're married?

But the feeling vanished, when Gabriel chuckled: “Don't worry about it. I can testify, that she is extremely huggable.”

She looked at them in confusion.

“How am I huggable, though?”

All three men gasped.

“Did she really just ask-?”

“Oh my god, she doesn't know?”

“How can this be?!”

“Guys, I'm still here!”

Hastie and Gabriel stared at her.

“You're the most huggable person ever!”, Gabriel claimed. “First off, you're really small-”

“I'm not small! I'm just … vertically challenged!”

“-And in addition to that, you wear oversized, soft hoodies.”

“Henry's jumper is softer.”

“You're like a human cat”, Hastie stated.

“And that makes me huggable?!”

“Yep”, Henry spoke up from behind. “And your hair is really fluffy.”

That made her stutter.

Her hair?!

“It's not that fluffy”, she muttered in embarrassment.

“It absolutely is”, Gabriel contradicted and added with a blush: “Just looking at it makes us want to pet it.”

Oh really now?

Edwina had to grin. “If that's true, what stops you?”

Hastie laughed nervously: “Well, asking you for permission to pet your hair would be a bit awkward.”

She laughed. “Henry does it all the time. I haven't broken his hand yet!”

The brunette smiled at them. “Just come over here. You're my friends, so it's okay.”

They gladly accepted the invitation.

Edwina purred happily, as several hands pet her dark brown mane and ran their fingers through it.

I'm one lucky girl …

“Just out of the blue”, Hastie piped up, when all five of them were watching a movie in the evening. “Edwina, have you ever been to the fun fair or something?”

She looked at him deadpan. “Hastie, I've never even had a caring family. What do you think the answer is?”

She immediately regretted it, as all four of them stared at her in horror.

“Henry, press pause”, Hastie ordered and the blond doctor obeyed.

“She's never been to the fun fair, guys!”

“This is unsustainable!”, Gabriel exclaimed.

“Bloody unacceptable!”, Luise agreed.

“Absolutely intolerable!”, Henry finished.

“Guys, I'm still still here!”

Edwina mentally facepalmed. How old were these four again? They definitely didn't act like people in their fifties.

Luise heard her thoughts and laughed: “Well, what can we say? We preserved our inner child!”

Her face suddenly became sombre. “But seriously, we cannot have that. This must be fixed. You will go there, whether you like it or not.”

The brunette huffed. “And what if I don't like it? Do I not get a saying in this?”

Henry sighed dramatically and took her hand. “Edwina, there are things in the world that you don't have to try to decide, whether you like them or not-”

“Oh, thank you!”

“-but this isn't one of them”, he added.

“Exactly”, Gabriel agreed. “You need to go there at least once. If you don't like it, you'll never have to go there again. And you don't need to try everything their either. I, for example, never did anything that involved leaving the ground.”

Oh right … he's scared of heights, isn't he?

She pouted. “… Fine. But I'm not going alone.”

She had no money of her own, after all. Luise had set up a savings account for her, but didn't give her any pocket money, unless she asked for it. That was probably for the better, because it gave Edwina the compulsion to work for that allowance, but it was bothersome to have to beg for it.

Henry volunteered. “It'll be my last day off from work, so I'll take you there. I haven't been there in a while.”

He stood up. “Excuse me, I have to check what cheap tricks they use at the fun fair these days.”

“Still the same old ones”, Luise informed him. “I accompanied Alma and her girlfriends there three days ago. They still use the same ruses to cheat kids of their pocket money.”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course. Why bother changing what pays off. I'll practise my aim then.”

Luise handed him the key to the big training room. “Practise with the air gun on the bottom, it's gauged about as badly as the air guns on the shooting stands. Here is the key. Give it back to me later, don't forget to clean up after yourself.”

“Will do”, Henry responded, took the keys and went downstairs.

Edwina tilted her head curiously. “So they do monkey business like those thimbleriggers in the street?”

Hastie chuckled. “Of course. Where there are attractions, there will be tricks.”

Edwina laughed. He had a point there.

“Why are we coming here so early?”

“It isn't so crowded yet at this time. I thought you might appreciate that.”

“I do.”

While Edwina didn't exactly have social anxiety or anything of that sort, she didn't like large crowds. The temptation of going on a pick-pocketing spree was just too great and she was still on parole.

Suddenly Henry frowned at her. “Edwina, you know that you just said that out loud, right?”

Caught red-handed, she blushed a deep cherry red.

“It's okay”, he assured her kindly. “We both know that old habits die hard. Besides …”

He looked away in shame. “I have no right to judge, after what happened half a week ago.”

She stared at him. “You're still upset about that?”

“This wasn't supposed to happen!”, he cried in anguish, “I'm not supposed to have these delusions and you weren't supposed to see-”

Alright, that's enough!

The brunette scowled, grabbed his face and pulled him down onto her eye level.

“Don't tell me what is supposed to happen and what not”, she growled, “You're talking to a woman, who ran away from home at the age of ten, became pregnant at fourteen and killed a man at seventeen. None of this was 'supposed to happen'. So don't give me that bullshit.”

When she saw the look in his eyes, she realised that she just had made it worse. And was immediately stricken with guilt.

“I'm sorry”, she whispered regretfully and let go of his face.

He shook his head. “No. I'm the one who's sorry. It was beyond tactless of me to wallow in self-pity in front of you.”

She hugged him. “Let's not talk or think about that anymore, okay? Let's just focus on this day and on … having fun, or whatever we're here to have.”

Henry sighed and stroked her hair.

Edwina purred and leaned into the touch.

He chuckled and scratched her head.

Her purring intensified – damn, that felt good!

When he took his hand back, she almost whined.

“Let's go”, he said, “Before someone questions what we're doing here.”

Like on cue, a little girl came up to them. “Excuse me, are you okay? You looked like you were fighting.”

Edwina and Henry stared at each other.

Then they laughed.

“Don't worry, kiddo, we're fine”, Edwina giggled, “We were just being two stupid grown-ups. But thanks for caring!”

The girl tilted her head. “Two grown-ups? But you're a very tiny grown-up-”

Before she could continue, the mother came, apologised to them for her daughter's behaviour and pulled her off, looking really embarrassed.

“'A very tiny grown-up'?!”, Edwina repeated grumpily.

Henry put his hand onto her shoulder. “She didn't mean to offend you”, he said gently, “That was just a little child-”

“I'm not a very tiny grown-up!”, she huffed. “I'm just a grown-up!”

“I know, I know.”

“Stop laughing or say goodbye to your knee caps!”

“Sorry”, he snickered.

Henry wasn't scared of heights and had actually a very strong stomach. But after almost a dozen rides, it was unavoidable that he was beginning to feel nauseous.

The same obviously wasn't the case for Edwina. She was having a blast. And was obviously determined to try everything here.

“Henry, are you okay?”, she questioned, when she noticed him grow pale.

“I'm fine”, he assured her, “Just a little dizzy.”

She didn't buy it. “You're sick. Let's sit for a bit, so your stomach can settle down.”

She shooed him over to the closest bench and he sat down gratefully.

“God, I'm really getting old”, he groaned, once seated. “Just ten years ago, I could take the craziest rides several times in a row without feeling queasy.”

“You're fifty. You're old”, Edwina pointed out, “And you did say you haven't been here in a while.”

He glared at her. “Jesus! Add insult to injury, why don't you!”

She smirked and patted his shoulder in fake pity. “It's okay, Henry. You're pretty damn attractive for your age. A solid ten!”

Henry didn't know, if he should be flattered or more offended.

He knew that he was lucky, compared to other men, when it came to looks. But did she have the faintest idea how much he cared about his appearance?! Screw what people said about women needing hours to get ready! He took longer than every woman he had ever known (except for his mother). If it hadn't been for Luise's hairdresser doing his hair, he would need over an hour!

“Thank you, I do my best”, he muttered finally.

Then he stood up. “I'm feeling better”, he remarked. “Let's go on."

She looked excited, but then she hesitated. “You sure? We can sit for another five minutes, if you want-”

“Nono, it's fine-”

But then she grabbed his head again, pulled him down onto her eye-level and stared right into his eyes.

He blushed. “Uhhh, Edwina, what are you doing?”

“Gazing into your lustrous brown eyes.”

“What?!”

“Just kidding. I'm checking, if you're really okay. I read somewhere that being sick or dizzy does that weird thing with your pupils.”

“That weird thing?”

“That thing, where they dilate and contract repeatedly.”

He almost laughed – where the hell had she read that?!

“Edwina, I'm a physician. And I can assure you that this isn't how it works.”

She looked a bit disappointed, but let go of him.

He smiled and took her hand. “I'm okay, Edwina. I promise. I may be a nutcase, but physically I'm perfectly healthy.”

The brunette tilted her head. Then she smiled back. “Okay.”

Then she pulled him along. “Come on! I really want to try that one big roller coaster over there!”

Oh no, not that one!

After a ride on the biggest roller coaster, Henry decided that they should spend the rest of the stay doing something to settle down (his stomach).

And by that he meant seeing if they could win a few prizes.

Edwina smirked. “Yeeeesss! Let's see, if we can raid a few stands!”

The blond chuckled. “Now, now. Let's just focus on winning one or two. If what Luise says is true and my aim is good enough-”

“You know that I can aim too, right?”, Edwina complained.

“But you've never used firearms before, have you?”

“ … No.”

“That's what I thought”, he stated and turned to a shooting stand. “Anything that catches your eye?”

The brunette let her eyes wander.

When they landed on a plush seal, her decision was made.

Henry followed her eyes, smiled and turned to the stand owner.

“We'd like to try it once, please.”

“Both of you?”

“No, just me”, Henry said and opened his purse.

The price was outrageous in his opinion, but, oh well. He swallowed his agitation, bent down, adjusted the gun and aimed.

This better work the first time, he thought and took the shot.

Bull's eye.

The other man looked genuinely impressed. “Good shot! Which one will it be?”

“The white plush seal, please.”

The stand owner took the seal off the shelve and handed it to him. Henry in turn gave it to Edwina, who proceeded to clutch the plushy like a happy child.

Cute.

Henry turned back to the other man. “Thank you very much and have a nice day!”

“Likewise! Enjoy your stay!”

Then the two went on.

They won a few more stuffed animals and ended up carrying several paper bags and giggling like mad.

“We certainly raided the stands, didn't we?”, Henry chuckled.

Edwina snorted: “We only tried and won one toy per stand! I wouldn't call that raiding!”

“Yes, but look at our booty!”

“True!”, she snickered, clutching her paper bags.

By now it was almost noon and it was getting crowded. They would have to watch closely over their stuff.

Edwina already wanted to suggest, that they grab something to eat, but then her eyes fell on the Ferris wheel. “Henry? Can we try that one too?”

She was surprised at how delighted he suddenly was.

“Hell yes!”, he cried enthusiastically. Then he became sheepish and scratched the back of his neck. “Sorry, but I haven't been on one in ages! It's impossible to do it with Gabriel.”

She frowned. “Must be dull to come here with him, if he can't do anything here!”

Henry sighed: “It can be frustrating. And it really upsets him too.”

“That acrophobia really cripples him, doesn't it?”

“It does. He can't even look out of the window on the first floor, without getting anxious. We actually came here only once. It was only then that I found out about his fear of heights.”

“He didn't tell you?!”

“No. He tried to hide it, but I know my husband. He was a nervous wreck in the end. And it takes quite a lot for that to happen to him.”

He looked upset about the memory and that made her sad. She didn't want either of the two men to be uncomfortable and be prevented from having fun by crippling fears.

She pat Henry's shoulder. “If it makes you feel better”, she said, “I'm not scared of heights at all.”

“I know”, he replied.

“Before my prison stay, I used to jump over rooftops, climb trees, walls, fire escape ladders … pretty much everything. It was really fun.”

“And dangerous”, Henry remarked with a frown.

She nodded cheerfully. “Yup! But that makes it exciting! Besides …” She smirked at him. “You can't tell me that you didn't do risky stuff, when you were younger!”

He laughed: “Point taken!”

“Hey”, Henry spoke up, once the cabin was closed and about 10ft off the ground. “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

The blond blushed a little. “I know it sounds incredibly corny, but … I'm really happy that you came to live with us.”

She gaped at him for a few seconds, before swallowing and biting her lip.

“I'm happy too”, the brunette rasped. “I really like living with you guys. I'm really grateful for that second chance. I've never had a real home before until now …” Her voice grew shaky. “This is the first time someone actually wants me … as a person, that is … I've never had a real family before … no one has ever been so kind to me … remember the first time you hugged me? That was the first hug in my entire life …”

Oh my god, she's going to cry!

He grabbed her hand. “Edwina, it's okay. Everything is fine now. Please don't be upset-”

“I'm not upset!”, she sobbed, “I'm just so grateful!”

“Shhhh”, he cooed and wiped her tears away with a paper tissue. “Please don't cry. It comes pretty damn late, but you have a home now. And I know that the others like you just as much as I do. We may be a bunch of crazy, messed-up people, but we're happy to be your family.”

“I know”, she hiccuped.

Then she took a deep breath and composed herself. “And I love my crazy, messed-up new family”, she told him.

He smiled. “Even with my insane and frightening delusions?”

She smiled back. “Yup. Honestly, they freak me out.”

“That's natural”, he chuckled awkwardly.

“But it never gets boring. Living with you guys is like one of the roller coasters here, but that makes it even better. I'm a crazy, messed-up person myself, so it just feels like I'm fitting right in. I like it. And can I tell you a secret?”

He bent forward. “Tell me, I'm curious!”

A cheeky smirk appeared on her face. “When Gabriel made the offer to me and mentioned that you're all in your fifties, I thought you would be super dull and boring.”

Henry mock-gasped: “Why, you–! Edwina! Oh, that's just mean! I'm shocked! Offended!”

She giggled and he pouted.

When they were back on the ground, they decided to grab something to eat. Henry hadn't eaten anything yet, he was ravenous and Edwina was pretty hungry too.

By now the fun fair was full of people, so they left and got lunch in a more relaxing location.

When they found a nice restaurant, the brunette asked to sit outside; it was a beautiful day, after all. Very warm for May.

They had to wait a while for their food, but when it came, they immediately dug in.

Five minutes later, Henry was staring at the brunette's empty plate.

“Uhm, Edwina?”

“Yeah?”

“Where's your food?”

She grinned and pointed at her stomach.

“You inhaled it”, he marvelled.

“Well, I'm just a quick eater – Henry, what's wrong?”

His face had suddenly darkened and he was looking past her.

“Those guys at the table over there”, he snarled, “I don't like how they look at you.”

She turned her head and saw a group of boys staring at her blatantly.

What's with these guys?! I'm not even attractive!

She remained calm and countered their leers with the creepiest smile she could muster.

It worked.

They turned back to their own table, looking visibly spooked.

She waited, until Henry had finished his lunch and paid, then they left (she threw a last glare at the guys for good measure).

When they drove home, Henry was still cranky about the boys.

Edwina on the other hand was satisfied.

I still got it!

“I see, you made a rich booty!”, Luise observed, when they came home with their bags full of stuffed animals.

“I know”, Henry replied. “My wallet is accordingly empty.”

“What are you going to do with all these stuffed animals?”, Hastie asked.

“Most of them are for me”, Edwina explained, “Some are for Henry and we got some for you too, guys! Wait!”

She rummaged through one of the bags and threw a big plush dog and a plush lion at Luise.

The blonde squealed in delight. “Awww, you didn't have to! Oh, they're so cute! They get a place of honour in my consultation room! Be right back!”

And she ran downstairs.

Henry got two from one of his own bags and handed them to Hastie; two teddy bears.

The hoary man laughed, thanked him and went to his own room to store his new property.

But Gabriel was without a doubt the happiest, when Edwina and Henry both each presented him with a plush cat. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, they're so cute and so fluffy, ahhh, I'll be right back in a minute!”

Then he darted off.

Edwina blinked. “I didn't see that coming.”

Henry chuckled. “He really loves cats. And if Luise wasn't allergic to cats, we would have lots of them. But as it is, she doesn't allow us to keep any.”

The young woman pouted. Such a shame, she loved cats too.

“And you're allergic to pollen, aren't you? You've been sneezing a lot lately”, Henry suddenly asked.

She sighed: “Yep.”

“What a bummer.”

“Yep.”

“If it makes you feel better, out of us five, I'm the only one who has no allergies at all. Hastie is allergic to dairy and Gabriel is allergic to dust.”

“That bites.”

“Yup. They're pretty cranky about it.”

The evening was spent in front of the telly again, watching Jurassic Park.

At some point Edwina spoke up: “My birthday is in two weeks.”

Hastie and Henry looked over, intrigued. The other two already knew.

“Really? On what day?”

“Twenty-seventh.”

Henry's eyes widened.

So did Hastie's. “Well, fancy that! Henry, you two have the same birthday!”

“No way!”, Edwina cried.

The movie was quickly forgotten.

#The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde #Dr. Jekyll #henry jekyll #Mr. Hyde #edward hyde #Mr Utterson #Gabriel John Utterson #utterson #Hastie Lanyon #dr lanyon #oc #modern au #female hyde

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llamagoddessofficial · 5 years

Note

Sorry if i am bein annoying but gkgkng what do the skele babies think of an underweight mc and being able to fainly see her spine and ribs? (Cause can be whatever you want idk) do they like it in a weird unhealthy way or does it worry them cuz uh no humans arent supposed to look like that wtf eat (i know skull doesnt like it- probably makes him more protective if thats even possible)

OooooOOOOh. Well, you’re right on the ‘being more protective’ side.

Sans: Mother hen. If he thinks it’s dangerous, he can and will set up an eating schedule or buy her special vitamins or educate her on the dangers of humans not eating enough. Sometimes it’s a little much, but they talk about it and settle on a way for him to bug her in a fashion that isn’t too much.

Red: He’s always been a ‘you do you, unless you wanna do me ;)’ kind of guy when it comes to other people’s eating habits; if you’re happy and not putting yourself in danger (like being seriously over/under weight to the point of health issues), who cares about a little more or less ass and thighs?… But this worries him more than he’d like to admit. He’s no therapist and he’s definitely lacking in the emotional connection department- so he just flirts much much harder after she’s eaten and compliments how she ‘always look happier when she ain’t hungry’. Takes her out for Grillby’s, distracts her from eating habits by taking up all her attention. It’s a little, but it does a lot.

Skull: … It brings back bad memories. Bad memories of starving Underground and wishing he had even the tiniest morsel of food. He focused his magic on enlarging his jaw so he could crack animal bones and get to the slivers of marrow inside, for fuck’s sake, why would you starve yourself on purpose when there’s so much food around!? Why would you ever want that!?

He likes plumper people. It means you’re happy, it means you have a lot of food… it means you’re healthy and much more huggable. But he also knows there’s little he can do by throwing facts at her. So he utilises his best weapon- emotionally twisting her. He doesn’t like it, but he thinks he’s doing it for the greater good.Tells her stories about watching people he loves starving in the Underground. Tells her about wishing he had enough food to last Papyrus the week. Tells her he doesn’t want her to die and wouldn’t know what to do with himself if she was gone forever because of starvation… It’s crude, it’s awful, and it’s certainly not the best way to go about it, but… unfortunately? It works.

#llamagines

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tumblunni · 5 years

Text

Why is gyan amakano so cute. It should be illegal. I hate how he has such a huggable design and then his character is totally wasted on being half super evil jerkman half Every Fat Stereotype Simultaneously. Like seriously how did this even HAPPEN

Artist: ok so ive drawn this round softman in a cute lil fancy tuxedo who always carries lollipops in his back pocket

Writers: ah yes, the perfect Irredeemable Murder Cannibal Man

Or like..

Writers: we need an Irredeemable Murder Cannibal Man

Artist: dont worry bro i got ya *draws a big circle with a happy face*

Or of course theres the alternative universe where nobody involved in this project ever noticed that this character design looks fuckin precious, but i dont want to live in that world

And then he's only in!! Two episodes!! And theyre so weird and not great!! Its like they kept changing their mind whether he was meant to be funny or scary. Goes from "ha ha a fat man enjoys cookies" to "he literally wants to make cannibal cookies out of humans" to "but ha ha look he's cosplaying as the genie from aladdin, lets go back to laughs now".

And also they made him be a huge jerk to Are Bacchino and that pisses me off!! Its already a bit shitty that they made a character whose entire "joke" is that he has ocd/germaphobia and its meant to be funny? Somehow? That he has this mental illness? And is frequently exposed to stuff that terrifies him?? Funny how???? But then theres a really rather disturbing montage of Gyan punishing his sidekick by straight up triggering his phobia and YIKES MAN sorry thats even more evil than the cannibalism! Also why was it drawn all overly detailed and Saw-esque?? Why did we need so much art effort put into showing dirty feet and a guy being forced to stick his hand in a shit filled toilet. Was this someone's goddamn fetish or something???

So yeah. Upset.

U P S E T T I. R E G R E T T I.

I'm so mad they wasted a cool character deisgn and cool concept on such a shitty execution. Like even the plot could have been cool? They could have got a lot more episodes out of the idea of these two runnibg thru fairytale books and cosplaying as different classic villains. And if theyd just made a damn decision and gone with either funny cute or scary bad then it could have worked! Personally i am voting for funnycute obv course. But also thatd work best with this plot, it would have been better if it was just a low stakes goofy adventure with something like "oh this dude wants to find the legendary magic wish thingie to wish for a lifetime supply of chocolate and our heroes wanna wish for something actually important so thats why they fight". Could have even added some drama cos like he doesnt know the thing is actually dangerous and then what if he ends up possessed by it and you still get a fight with him thats pretty high stakes without having this weird inconsistant personality thing. Could be quite a dramatic twist to suddenly have comedy villain man as a genuine threat! Ans could be a way to resolve it all with friendship cos you could have Are Bacchino teaming up with the heroes to save his boss and then Gyan is like "whoa i guess you guys were 100% right all along" when he gets saved from his own bigass mistake and all. And then THE GAMES COULD ACTUALLY MAKE HIM PLAYABLE PERHAPS, JUST SAYIN

Also PLEASE rewrite like every single thing about the relationship between the two of them. Please take whoever said "yeah gyan should outright torture his one and only friend with a messed up Saw movie ocd-triggering machine" and throw them out the window. Consider this: what if..they were actually...friend. Like i feel they'd have enough comedy potential already just from being a "rival mafia" thats literally two people who are ludocrously incompetant at everything they do and only ever succeed at (literally) stealing candy from babies. Play up that side of things more! No need to throw random super evil shit at the funnymen to make them seem more intimidating, theyre at their best when theyre not intimidating at all. And you could still have the same gag of the fairytale world forms always being Gyan as some sort of classic villain and Are as a talking carpet or whatever, like just say thats how the magic works instead of Gyan doing it on purpose to be a jerk. And you could even still have Are being the funny underdog just from sheer bad luck instead of being purpisely mistreated by every single character in the entire cast. Or have it that Gyan is just a bit of a bumbling idiot boss who doesnt notice his mistakes and Are is like the hypercompetant sidekick who always ends up taking the consequences of those mistakes because he's like an overportective bodyguard. Which could also be a way to establish some cute friendship moments! Like i dunno someone's about to throw a pie at Gyan and Are does an overdramatic diving save and a whole fake death scene from the sheer horror of getting banana cream frosting on his suit. "Boss...go on without me..." *cough choke* And Gyan is like *equally overdramatic tears* "He made the ultimate sacrifice! I will avenge him!!" *charges forward to fight the heroes and just gets easily beat up like usual* And then its like *even more continually dramatic narration* "and the boss was beaten and bruised, but he carried me for miles through wind and storm" *over footage of like ridiculously impossible heroic adventures thay clearly didnt happen* And then it just cuts to the two of them sitting at like...ye olde fantasy laundromat. Are sobbing like "oh boss i'll never forget this" and Gyan is just like *thought bubble* "i wish i got to eat that pie tho"

I dunno maybe im naive but i just think shows are generally more fun when characters actually like each other and have motivations beyond self interest. Obvipusly not EVERY character has to be like that, but nobody is ever kind at all in the damn anime whether theyre villain or hero. And also specifically these sorts of minor role villains can benefit a lot from being fleshed out this way to become way more memorable! Like gin and kin became way better in Psychic Specters when they got the added trait of loving and cherishing their little brother. (To the point of it being a literal battle power that made their horribly hard boss fight even worse, lol!)

Also just...plz dont make a man so cute if hes meant to be big badness. Like seriously Are looks scarier than him and Are is like the least scary man to ever have those scary ass eyes! Smol depressed man with ocd and tol round lollipops friendo. I WANT TO LOVE THEM

Im gonna just cross my arms and sit here stubbornly hoping for The Anime/Game Effect to kick in. Like 99% of all characters in the anime are jerks and even when anime originals end up cameoing in the games they tend to become generally nicer and more well developed as people. So fingers crossed for a yw4 appearance thats full cute and 0% cannibalism!!!

Seriously fuckin.. CANNIBALISM

Why does the anime do that so much as a "funny" "joke"? The episode where Jerry murders a sentient dessert yokai in graphic gory detail still haunts me. "Ha ha its funny because technically theres no blood so we can show her gasping for breath with a hole in her lungs as a man eats her corpse" Did they put the entire budget into that one death animation??? Oh no cos they saved at least a little of it for the Herbiboy Gets Murdered By A Lawnmower episode T_T

Anime why u be this way.

#gyan amakano #i wonder what dub name theyd give these guys if they made it into yw4 tho?#apparantly are bacchino is a pun on al pacchino + germaphobia #but i dont know if theres any pun behind gyan's name #i can only speculate that it might have been based on the real name gianno

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arethereanyoriginalusernames · 5 years

Text

ZOOPHOBIA CHAPTERS RANKED BEST TO WORSE

Hey hey hey! (*jumps off counter* ImGaY)

So, quick update. I'm no longer doing votes as no one appears to care what I post anymore. Which is a shame. Honestly, you people have no idea what evil you have unleashed upon this world. I've also been busy, so while I work on bigger posts, have some totally not filler.

For today's....thing, I will be ranking the 5 zoophobia chapters from best to worst. HOWEVER, I will only be discussing the writing aspects of these chapters. Art isn't my forte. If you want an art critique, I'd recommend bugging @rzphhs

Feel free to disagree with what I say here. I'm not some omniscient god who is perfect at everything. This is simply what think are the best and worse zoophobia characters.

If you'd like to request me to do something else, go ahead.

And of course, let's get the usual disclaimer in there. Zoophobia is by this fandom's Lord and savior, Vivziepop. This post is not a critique of her current writing abilities since zoophobia is kinda old. I believe that when we analyze stories we love and find flaws within them, we can all learn something and improve our own writing abilities. I also don't do this because I hate Vivz. I love her work. This is not an attack on her what so ever, so any wannabe edgelords who think otherwise can get off my front lawn.

-----------------------------------

THE BEST

CHAPTER 1.

Yeah, I legitimately think chapter 1 is the best. It's no surprise that this chapter was the one Vivz worked on the most. She had people read rough drafts and give her advice on how to make it better, something she stopped doing for the rest of the story. Cameron has a wonderful introduction.

I know I said I wouldn’t talk about visuals, but I love the contrast of the grey human world to the colourful safe haven. Having Kay cee lurk around, hidden in wide shots where's she's barely seen is great. She defiantly sells the creepy shady character shtick like nobody's business.

There were a lot of great character introductions in here two. You got a good sense of each character's personality. I also like a lot of the visuals here too. A lot of characters were introduced, yes, but each character got a few lines each so it didn't feel too over the top. You could argue as well that the amount of stuff being thrown at us was fitting since that would be how our audience surrogate is feeling.

I do think, however, that we should've gotten introductions to all of the main cast. Kayla doesn't say anything, neither does Penelope, and Taylor. .basically says nothing. Yeah, did you guys know Taylor and Penelope are apart of the main cast? That, and I feel that Cam should've just gotten an explanation about what safe haven is by Zech sooner.

Apart from that, I loved this chapter.

-------------------------

SECOND BEST

CHAPTER 4.

Ok, let's address my main complaint about this chapter that is basically the elephant in the room. Ever hear of the "show don't tell" rule in writing? It's commonly known that it's better to show something as opposed to just having a couple characters talking about it. This chapter....well....it's wierd in this regard. It's not abhorrent, but this chapter is an exposition dump where we're both shown and told info about Jack. I feel as though some of these things, like the Zill and Jack as children section could've been just shown. We don't need Jack explaining everything to the audience. I also feel that this chapter should've been placed earlier since it has info on certain characters that would've been nice to know earlier, like the context of Zill and Kayla's relationship.

Apart from that, I liked this chapter. It had nice pacing, and there's not too much going on. We're not hopping from one thing to another (like another chapter ), we stay on topic, and this feels like a nice, easy read. Admittedly, I don't have much to say on this because. ....it's just a nice, simple chapter. It gives Jack some great character depth, and his character motif of wanting to be happy despite his curse. The ending is also nice and the entire chapter just feels.....peaceful.

--------------------

MEH

CHAPTER 5.

Okay, this one I’d put in the middle no matter what since it’s kinda hard to evaluate something that’s unfinished.

Much like the character who stars in this chapter, I'm split on this chapter. I don't hate it....but it's nothing to write home about either.

Let's start positive. Unlike the next chapter I'm talking about, this chapter stays on one central problem for the most part, and we don't randomly jump back and forth between Addi and Mackenzie doing completely separate things. Mackenzie's thing appears, but doesn't take center stage away from the central character. Autumn and Rusty's moment on the stairs feels a little random, but it's not completely distracting. The character interactions are fun too. I loved the interactions between Addi, Dame, and Sahara, and between Autumn and Rusty. Tom and Gustav were a little weird in this chapter, but they weren't the worst thing. Oh no, the worst thing.....

Was Addison.

I'm sorry @zoophobiapika , please have mercy. I will send you cute Addi pictures to make up for this.

But HOLY FUCK, was Addison annoying! I've ranted before on the problems I have with him (go see my least favorite character list to get the full rant), but to shorten it down, Addi makes a stupid decision when he blows off his friends and goes out with a stranger because. ...that makes sense, I think. He also attacks somebody, and no one appears to be worried for Mackenzie or worried about Addi's mental state.

Also, before someone says " oh he has PTSD",

I have PTSD as well. It's a minor case, and it's hardly as severe as some other cases, but it has affected my life and the people around me. I don't feel comfortable going into detail about it, but in times of stress, I'd hurt not only myself, but other people. I almost punched a guy once.

A reason, however, is not an excuse. I still hurt other people, and I had to make up for that. Just because you can explain why a problem is there doesn't make that problem go away.

I'm just going to leave it at that and move on.

------------------------

SECOND WORST

CHAPTER 3

......what? Did you think thst just because Dame is my favorite character I'd put his chapter higher in the ranking? Yeah, nope.

Now, fangirls, put down your pitchforks, this chapter doesn't suck.......but This chapter is weird.

You know how the other 3 three chapters I talked about stayed on topic? Whenever people tell me Zoophobia, plot wise, jumps around a lot, I think of this chapter. There's just too much going on. Instead of having this chapter solely be an introduction to Damian, one of the main cast who'll play an important role in the story, we get an exposition dump about how safe haven works and demon politics. Characters like Bozzwick are introduced only for them to do nothing, and this chapter feels like it's rushing, like Vivz just wants to get this chapter over with.

Damian's freak out feels rushed and out no where. Also, when he does his best Cuthulu impression, does he cast a spell that just makes everyone stand around and do nothing? No one's screaming, no one is trying to calm Dame down, nothing. And this place is apparently full of people. Yet no one does anything but just stand around and look surprised. This chapter just feels like it doesn't know what to do.

The first book was supposed to introduce us to the characters, and a following book was supposed to go more into the lore. Why not just have this chapter be like Jack's where all we get is a simple introduction to a character? The two or three plots also keep switching back and forth randomly and it feels disorganized. Cameron (as well as everyone else during Simon’s interrogation) had nothing to do with Dame’s situation. Seriously, just shove that scene to a later point in the story and nothing would change. Actually, here’s a fun game. Count how many characters you can take out with little to nothing changing.

This may be me putting on a tin foil hat here, but it’ like Vivz couldn’t figure out how to introduce Dame in a way that would ensure that the chapter would focus on him, so she just shoved a bunch of other shit in.

All in all, this chapter has way too much going on, and is all over the place. BUT, at least all the shit that happened in here was interesting and kind of contributed to the story, unlike....

---------------------------

THE WORST

CHAPTER 2

*inhale*

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Fuck. This. Chapter.

Ok, first of all, this chapter didn’t need to exist. Skip over this chapter, and nothing would change....except maybe Simon being in chapter 3, but hey, that fucker didn’t need to be in chapter 3 either.

Second....let’s go through each character....in alphabetical order.

Cameron: Doesn’t develop, doesn’t do anything, she just goes around and does....things. She feels like a character that could be taken out with little to no consequences, which isn’t a great look for someone who we’re being introduced to the world of safe haven through.

Carrie: Feels like she could’ve not been introduced. I love Carrie, but when people say we were getting too many characters at once in this story, this chapter is a prime example of why. Jesus Vivz, introduce us to the main cast, THEN all the lovable and huggable side characters. Seriously, the entire Vengenza thing could’ve been moved to a later chapter.

Damian: Long story short, this little shit had to turn into a sociopath for the sake of plot. I like Damian, and he defiantly made this chapter entertaining for me, but I hate the fact that the story had to have him give Kayla and Zill a problem as opposed to the problem coming about from their own flaws. Also, I don’ t think I should’ve been rooting for him to win.

Fabian: See Carrie

Gustav: See Carrie.

Horris: See Carrie

Jack: I liked him, but was he seriously the only one who knew about the anniversary? We see that Sahara knows about it, so clearly Jack isn’t the only one who knows about it. And yet no one brings it up to Zill. Either Zill is the most oblivious fucker on the planet, or Dame somehow locked nearly everyone who knew about the anniversary in a locker. Those are the only explanations I can think of.

Jackie: Not terrible, but she kinda annoyed me. I’m not sure why though, so I won’t say too much on her.

Kayla: For some reason we follow this character even though she got no introduction, and we have no context to her relationship with Zill, and we learn almost nothing about he. Great. I don’t agree that Kayla is a mary sue, but this chapter makes me know why people see her that way.

Malcolm: See Carrie

Percy: See Carrie

Sahara: See Carrie

Simon: See Carrie

Spam: Despite being apart of the main cast, he does nothing. He doesn’t contribute anything, he’s just there for no reason.

Vanex: See Spam

Vagenza: See Carrie

Zech: He’s barely in this chapter, and he feels like a complete none presence. Why was he here?

Zill: Ohhh boy....Now we get to the meat of my issues with this chapter. Okay, despite this chapter revolving around him and Kayla, we learn almost nothing about Zill. What is his character motivation? Dunno. What is his personality outside just “he’s a good guy”? Dunno. The chapter revolves around a relationship we have no context of, and this chapter feels like a fucking soap opera. The problem doesn’ t come from a fault in Zill’s character. He needs Dame to give him a problem, which for me cements how boring of a character he is. And him getting back with Kayla isn’t something he causes to happen. A vampire shows up and Kayla just happens to have a change of heart. That’s it. He doesn’t. do. anything.

Finally, like with ch. 3, the topic of the chapter jumps around between Cameron and Zill’s “plots” with no cohesion and no connection. Overall this chapter sucks.

Thanks for reading, and tell me what your favorite or least favorite chapters are!

I apologize for wasting your time.

- ATOUN

#zoophobia

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classic-rock-roller · 5 years

Text

1. You’re in the Game Grumps studio and Bonham and Danny are singing a song together while you and Arin are reviewing the power hour in post. At one point Danny takes it up a few notes to try to harmonize. It sounds nice for a second, but then it sounds terrible. “Dammit Dan, I lost the note cause you tried to harmonize.” How does he respond and what do you and Arin say?

Dan: you should have kept it. Stick your finger in your ear.

Arin: It sounded good for a second.

Me: I can’t harmonize for shit.

2. You’re in the car with Bonham and Arin and Danny on your way to get lunch. When you get to where you’re going, Bonham tries to get out of the back of the car, but her foot gets stuck between the seat and the door, and she falls out of the car and lands on her side. The three of you just watched it happen, but she springs up immediately, “That was fun, let’s go.” How do the three of you respond?

Me: Are you ok?

Dan: You’re something else.

Arin: Let’s not so that again

3. You and Danny are talking in the Game Grumps studio one day, and Arin and Bonham are nowhere to be found. You’re having a nice time. Ross comes up to you at one point and says, “You guys should come see this, it’s crazy.” You and Danny follow him, and find Arin and Bonham taste testing weird shit that Matt and Ryan (Supermega, fellow Game Grumps) are mixing. How’s it going when you arrive? What are Matt and Ryan giving them? What do they all say when you and Danny arrive?

They’re gagging and Matt and Ryan are making different cocktails out of things like escargot, caviar, and calamari. They look at us and Matt and Ryan are like, “Wanna join?” While Bons and Arin scream, “DON’T!”

4. You and your band are finally finished with a late night concert and meet and greet. Danny, Arin, Suzy, and Ross were there, and when you see them, Ross says, “Geez guys, you look like hell.” “Yeah, you look like something they serve at 2:30 in the morning at IHOP.” Danny says after hugging Bonham. How do you and Bonham respond, and what do the Grumps say in response?

He goes to hug me and after I’ve been hugging him for a bit he goes to move when Kevin goes, “Don’t move. She fell asleep.”

Danny: Jesus she must have been tired.

Suzy: Aww, she looks so sweet sleeping on your shoulder.

Arin: Besides the fact that she’s drooling a bit.

Bons: We’re all exhausted. She usually passes out on the tour bus about this time.

5. Bonham is doing Danny’s makeup for the NSP one-night-only performance on a talk show. They’re in the room next to yours and at one point you hear her yell, “Dammit, just fucking hold still!” You go see what’s happening, and Danny is having none of the makeup thing. “It’s tickling my face!” How do they respond to you coming in, and does he ever get his makeup on?

Danny looks over to me and goes, “How can you do this on a daily basis for your concerts? Jesus.”

Bons: Stop looking over at BabyCarrot and look at me.

He finally does get his makeup on.

6. You’re eating lunch with the Grumps and Bonham one day, and out of nowhere Danny says, “Want to see a dumb trick?” “Sure,” Bonham says. He then proceeds to put a small piece of bread in his mouth, spit it into the air, and catch it in his mouth. “Ta da,” he says through his full mouth. How do you, Bonham, and Arin respond?

Me: You're a human canon!

Bons: That’s awesome!

Arin: No it’s not it’s gross.

7. Danny is speculating on ideas for the next NSP album and he says, “It would be neat to use a melodica, but we don’t have one.” Instantly, Bonham says, “I have one.” Instead of gratitude, his initial response is, “Why do you have a melodica?” “If you need weird instruments, I’m your guy.” How do you and Danny respond?

Me: Where do you think we get all those awesome instruments for our albums?

Danny: Awesome! I may have to hit you up for some.

8. Bonham is in the studio working on her solo cover album, and one day you and Danny and Arin decide to surprise her by bringing her lunch. When you get there, you find her lying on the floor with her eyes closed and The Last Unicorn playing and she’s singing along. The song ends and she still hasn’t noticed that you’re there. Danny says, “You were singing my song.” She jumps a little and says, “When did you guys get here?” How do the three of you respond?

Me: We brought you lunch. We’ve been here for a majority of the song.

Danny: You like it that much?

Arin: Why are you on the floor?

9. You’re eating lunch with Bonham and Arin and Danny, and at one point Danny asks, “Hey Bonham, have you ever been in bed with somebody and called them the wrong name?” She’s taken off guard, and says, “Wha–no? How would that even work? Just like, ‘unh, Batman, take me…’ What even, man?” This for some reason makes him laugh uncontrollably. How do you and Arin respond and what does Danny say when he’s done laughing?

Me: I almost called Kevin Nikki once but caught myself before I did.

Arin: How did that go over?

Danny: Batman? Seriously that’s the best name you could have used as an example.

10. Danny and Arin discovered your band’s song “through the ages”, where each member of your band was dressed as a different stage of life (Sean was the baby, Bonham was the kid, Linus was the teenager, you were the adult, and Erik was the old man. I can’t find it looking back but I think you know the one). They’re admiring the different looks, but in the scene when Bonham and Sean are playing they start losing their shit. “What’s so funny?” you ask. Arin says, “She pretends to be so fuckin serious all the time but then this…” He trails off laughing and Dan says, “The emotions I feel inside from the cuteness is unbearable.” How do you respond, and what does Bonham say?

Me: Yep, Bons is a big cutie-pie. She’s always been since we first met and I love her for it.

Bons: I AM NOT! I am serious and I can punch you if you wrong me.

I come up behind her and hug her from behind, “You’re a Cutie-Pie!” Danny runs up and hugs her screaming, “Cuddle puddle!!” and then Arin joins in.

11. Arin learned that Bonham likes guitar hero so he and Dan come to you two one day and suggests that you and her join them on guest grumps to play it. “We’re all musicians so it’ll be fun.” How do the two of you respond, and do you do it? If you do, how does it go?

Me: We can but be prepared to have your asses beat.

Bons: Hell yeah!

It goes well and of course Bonham beats all our asses.

____________________

1) Your singer never hugs anyone unless he is really close to them or really likes them. One day, while you’re about to start a Power Hour, she comes up and hugs Danny from behind, “Hi, Danny.” Arin goes, “What the fuck? Where’s my hug?” Your singer looks under Danny’s arm (because he’s nine inches taller than her), “You don’t deserve a hug yet, Arin. Danny is just very huggable, kind of like Kevin.” How do you, Dan, and Arin respond?

2) You’re working on your album with NSP and your singer really wants to cover Same Old Situation by Mötley Crüe. You’re discussing it with Danny and your band members when Sean pipes up, “What is that song about anyway? I never got it.” How do you, your singer, Danny, Linus, and Erik respond?

3) Nikki and Tommy thought it’d be a great idea to have you and your singer dance as some of the strippers in Crüe’s music video for Girls Girls Girls. While filming parts, Vince or Tommy would either wolf whistle at you and your singer or scream, “Look like you’re having fun up there, dammit!” One time, your singer screams back, “I’m not a fucking stripper. I’d rather be the one placing the dollar bills in the girls’ panties.” How do you, Tommy, Nikki, Vince, and Mick respond?

4) Your singer made you swear to never tell Kevin that she dated Nikki before she dated him. One day, Kevin comes to you with a box and slams it down on the table so hard it makes you jump, “What’s this?” He slides it over to you and you open it to find...compromising pictures of Nikki and your singer when they were drunk on a tour before she met Kevin. How do you respond and what happens once your singer gets home?

5) Your band has just started and you need to find stage outfits. One day, your band, Randy, Rudy, and Kevin are in the studio when you hear Sean ask, “What the fuck are you wearing?” And you turn around to see your singer in leather pants, thigh-high heeled leather boots, a long leather trench coat, a layered shirt and a black top hat on top of a black wig. “What? I wanted to experiment. Although on the walk here I got quite the looks.” Sean replies, “Yeah, because you look stupid.” How do you, Erik, Linus, Randy, Rudy, and Kevin respond?

6) You, your singer, Kevin, Rudy, and Nikki are all drinking at your singer and Kevin’s house. Dan and Arin are there too but are not drinking. Your singer gets really quiet and goes and stands out on the balcony. This would not be odd except its only 15 out and your singer doesn’t have a jacket. Soon the rest of you come out. You’re the first one to your singer and she goes to you, “What do you think would happen if something happened to me? Would anyone care?” she looks back over the balcony, “At least the criticism would stop.” How do you, Kevin, Rudy, Nikki, Danny, and Arin respond?

7) Your singer is still with Kevin onstage after she kissed him. And Rudy, Carlos, and Frankie are getting annoyed. The crowd keeps screaming, “Kiss your wife again!” And your singer won’t leave the stage. What do you do to get her off the stage?

8) You and Rudy are Mal, Eddie, and Roxanne’s godparents. One day, your singer pulls you and Rudy aside while the kids are playing and goes, “God forbid, if anything happens to Kevin and I. You’ll take care of our babies, right?” You can see the worry and fear behind her eyes as she goes from looking at you to looking at the three of them. How do you and Rudy respond?

9) Your singer takes you, Rudy, and Kevin with her to her parents’ house to take care of their chicken while they’re on vacation. You, Rudy, and Kevin are upstairs watering the plants when you hear the door open and your singer scream, “No, Hei Hei!” The three of you turn around to see the chicken running up the stairs and your singer chasing after it, “Get back here you fucking chicken!” How do you, Rudy, and Kevin respond? Do you help her catch the chicken?

10) Sean is still being an ass to your singer while in the studio. She’s exhausted from taking care of her kids and one time, she just bursts into tears, “I can’t take this. I’m exhausted. I need sleep but we have to finish this. And Kevin is so great and he takes care of our kids but he’s so busy at work right now and I just...” How do you, Erik, Linus, and Sean respond?

11) You, Kevin, your singer, and your singer’s sister are all sitting on your singer and Kevin’s couch. Your singer is reading and the three of you are watching a movie. At one point, your singer’s sister looks at her and goes, “Can you stop breathing? It’s annoying.” Your singer closes her book and goes, “I’ll just go in my room since my very presence seems to piss you off when you’re already in a piss ass mood.” “Why don’t you disappear? It’ll make my life a hell of a lot easier.” Your singer leaves the room. What do you and Kevin say to her sister?

12) You’re on tour with War Angel and Rudy, Kevin, and Dan and Arin are with you. One day, you’re looking for your singer and Danny comes out to you, Arin, and Kevin and goes, “You have to see this.” He takes you to the back of the bus where you find Rudy and your singer cuddled together sleeping with your singer’s face in Rudy’s neck. How do you, Arin, and Kevin respond and what do your singer and Rudy say when they wake up?

@osbournebemydaddy your turn Bons :)

#tag game #tag war

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jellycreamjammedart · 6 years

Note

Is this Yume Nikki/Batim bits of art an AU? Because your Madotsuki is so cute I wanna know a bit more about her, please? :3

Yes! It’s supposed to be a BATIM/Yume Nikki (both the original and the reimagined game) crossover AU (although not a super serious one, at least not that I have such deep plans for yet, it’s just for fun), I just haven’t been able to figure out a name for this AU yet, RIP (if you have suggestions I’m all ears)

Now with that out of the way, you wanna know more about this squishy little stinker, huh? This little stinker over here?

(sorry for spamming y’all with drawings of her lmao, I’m still in that part where you gotta draw a character a couple times to get a grip on their design.)

Well then, more about her you shall know! (She’s still an early build so there’s some depth I still haven’t developed for her.)

9 years old (has more or less the height of a 5 year old though: 3′8′’ ft / 112 cm)

Seriously she probably just barely meets up to a lil’ above the knee/the middle of the thigh of Ink Demon Bendy.

Sweater is pretty baggy & slightly oversized but that’s okay! It’s really smooth and soft!

Hair is likewise v soft & lightly poofy. Touching it might even feel a lil stimmy for you!

Baby hands (dont tell her i let u know this one tho)

Very huggable! She’s like an human version of a teddybear for tall/big people!

While Henry is kinda associated with items like the axe or the gent pipe, she has her own set of items. Usually a lantern (much akin to the one you can get in the “remake” of her game). It has a slightly stronger light than the flashlight Henry finds, but it also has shorter range of how far into the dark it can illuminate than the flashlight. She might end up picking up a Bendy doll along the way if she stumbles into one (come on she’s a kid let her live) which might work to keep her focused and grounded, like Teddy in Among The Sleep. Miiiiight also have a roll of duct tape in a pocket.

Some of the spaces that Henry needs to ax his way through, she can just squeeze through because she’s a smol. Not all spaces though.

Slower than Henry when having to walk through those hecking ink pools. Yanno, small legs.

Walks slightly slower, but also runs slightly faster than Henry (because he’s an old man). However running burns her stamina then she is forced to walk, or stay stopped to replenish it. Bacon soup replenishes it a lot faster (if she has a can with her, that is)

Has this kind of “calming and pacifying” effect even on creatures deemed hostile/aggressive. And while that alone can’t save her from every danger ever, she ironically is a lot safer with all these ink goobers compared to Henry.

She probably makes friends or at least acquaintances with ink creatures.

Idk how okay she’s a weird kid.

Probably would take rides on Bertrum and have a freaking good time (unlike Henry who has a weaksauce stomach haha)

Also would probably try to tape broken Bendy cutouts back together for some reason I can describe only as “slightly OCD”.

Very lowkey stress-eating, though it’s not very regular.

Is a pretty ok kid but there’s more to her than her simple design lets on.

… her perception of reality is… kind of weak and disconnected.

And by that I mean she at times might not be able to tell when she’s awake and when she’s dreaming.

That can be a little dangerous sometimes because she might be a tad more disregarding towards danger because she thinks she’s dreaming.

Her dreams are extremely solid and vivid, and she’s capable of remembering like 90% of them crystal clear (which also adds to her difficult in telling reality and dreams apart).

That however also helps her mentally age faster.

Like. Assuming she sleeps the average 8 hour period, she sleeps 1/3 of her life. As of now being 9, that means that she spent 3 years asleep. It’s also said that the brain can process information faster in the subconscious while asleep, which might for instance make a real-time 5 minute period feel like 60 minutes subconscious, therefore makes a dream feel like it lasts a lot longer than it actually did from real-time chronologic. If we do some math (which I suck at) here, one 5 min period can fit 12 times inside one hour (60 mins). If a 5 min period equals more or less 60 dream-minutes, that’s 720 dream minutes each hour. That’s a lot fam! One year has 8760 hours (not considering leap years here for the sake of simplicity, heck), so 26280 hours for 3 years. So, 720 dream-minutes for each hour of those 26280 hours? Whoa wait, THIS KID HAD AROUND 18921600 HOURS WORTH OF DREAMS, AKA… oh my god 2160 FREAKING YEARS WORTH OF DREAMS ATOP HER CHRONOLOGICAL 9 YEARS OF AGE??? THAT’S LIKE, 2169 YEARS HOLY FRIED STICK–

Of course I’m not saying this 9 year old stinker is mentally 2169 years since that’s not really how it works either, but she’s definitely matured faster than she should. I’d guess she’d resemble something like a late teenager without having gone through puberty nor having hormonal changes to her brain, so she’s in this awkward mixture of child/almost-adult.

Her premature maturing might be also due to her being often on her own company and being somewhat emotionally neglected, frequently having only dreams to help her pass time. Which also only further damages her ability to properly perceive reality.

That might as well make her prematurely grown somewhat more independent for being often without significant company.

That all, in exchange, gives her a lot of baggage you usually wouldn’t expect nor wish upon a child. But also means she’s “not very adoptable”, as couples usually want babies or at most very young toddlers, or children young enough to not have much baggage. She? She’s already starting to get old by that standard, and her unusual baggage only further discourages people to even bat an eye at her direction. She’s honestly already convinced she’ll be stuck at foster care till she grows out of the system (It makes her a little sad but honestly it more makes her more inclined to just go with the present than form a plan for the future rather than put a damp on her emotions, she’s got enough shit already), so she just lives the present without thinking about the future much or bothering to think about long-term plans. So she spends her life following her wits (which also includes visiting an old establishment which turned out to be a toon studio where someone had the bright idea of using satanic rituals and screw up everything– I’m looking at you Joey Drew).

This might also make her ability to bond with people “irregular”. As she doesn’t really have any REAL people who she has managed to form a significant bond with (dream people don’t count). With that, if you just end up spending enough frequent time with her, it might be more or less enough to have her to grow fond of you. If you’re just going to leave, please do so before she gets actually attached to you. However, this might be bad depending on the person she grows attached to, like, let’s say, a manipulative person. While she’s not your average “dumb kid”, from an emotional perspective she can be a little easy to manipulate.

“Wise beyond their years” trope.

Is often tired in some way, shape, or form. Not necessarily in a “superficial”, sleepy tired, nor in a “what a lazy kid!” kind of tired. Just, Tired™.

Due to this, she’s kind of despondent and a bit lethargic, unlike what you’d expect 9 year olds to be, probably loud and very active.

Adding to that, she probably would lay down on the infirmary’s bed even if it was previously sunken in ink. She doesn’t care she doesn’t freaking caaaaaare.

Speaking of ink, she probably would show discontentment to being stained with ink only in the very beginning, quickly growing desentized to it as it repeats (and let’s face it, it happens a lot no matter where you are in this place).

While her name is Madotsuki, it’s uncommon in the Western, and most people have trouble to even pronounce it, therefore she’s grown used to being called all sorts of nicknames, like Maddy/Maddie, Mads, etc, even silly ones like Samado, freaking Snudder Mado. She won’t care what you decide to call her so long it’s not a mean nickname.

Internal screaming? It’s more likely than you think.

Internalizes her stuff. Like, a lot

Seriously kid don’t do that it’s unhealthy.

Henry: “Stay close, I won’t let anything scary get to you.”

What she means: “Compared to what I see every night or whenever I sleep, these ink creatures are basically cakewalk.”

What she says instead: “… nothing here has been scarier than that hideous shirt of yours, old man.”

Usually well-behaved and polite, but can be lowkey mischievous and kind of sassy too.

Proooooooobably has self-esteem/self-worth issues already.

Welp, that’s a lot more than I thought I had by now! o:

#batim #bendy and the ink machine #yume nikki #yume nikki dream diary #crossover #madotsuki #jellycream answers #jellycream art #anonymous #read more #long post

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