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#because that’s how her parents have treated her all her life
pleasantspark · 2 days
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I find it baffling how someone as rich as ViziePop who can afford basic luxuries can still complain about being poor, when she scammed and swindled dozens.
Any rich person does that doesn't understand how being poor works. Like suuuure you can afford to keep the lights on and eat actual meals and not fast food or tv meals everyday.
You don't have to cancel subscriptions and make alt accounts to keep getting free benefits nor do you have to pirate games that are below 5 dollars because "this months money isn't gonna be enough."
You didn't have to experience being homeless and in a hotel for 18 months because the government and people in your family tried to claim your parent was sleeping with someone so they stalked you and got you kicked out.
You didn't have to deal with obamacare becoming defunct and having the entire place laid off which caused us this exact issue. You don't have to worry about living off of unemployment because you'll lose the benefits you'd get for being attached to Social Security. Nah, you don't even live in a roach infested apartment with you fearing your life because your parents are being abusive to one another.
And yet you complain about dipping and dropping money, maybe here's an advice. Stop spending money on frivolous things all the damn time. Outsourcing animators after YOU FIRED the old ones or they quit on the spot. I mean them leaving and firing constantly is going to cause issues on the long run.
People praise this woman like she's some goddess which only furthers my point of how cultish this fandom is, you are basically treating her series like some form of religion where VivziePop is some sort of God, and stalking any tags or any ill mentions of her name you come around.
I'm just sick and tired of the constant praise of someone who bitched and cried and got what she wanted. Ig if you're a woman and are popular enough and have a decent following, if you bitched and moaned and got everything, then you'd want more.
And yet WE have to pay THESE RICH BASTARDS every damn time from the IRS? Why do we as working class citizens have to pay for Rich People when they DO NOTHING to help the poor, we're basically the backbone of the fucking country having to do the bare minimum to fund some millionaires next yacht trip to the Bahamas. This fucking system is so fucking flawed.
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raayllum · 2 days
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Callum is so right about Rayla never doing anything for herself. You could say freeing Runaan was for herself but she also treats it as her "sacred promise" and chose him for Ethari too (shows how great her heart is). You think sparing Callum will finally count as her doing something for herself? Choosing her future and her love for him over the "greater good". She couldn't get her og parents back‚ this girl keeps losing and suffering she seriously deserves more wins
God, I could write an entire meta about that line - maybe one day when I'm feeling self indulgent. In regards to your actual prompt, re: saving Callum will count as something for herself -- a big yes, absolutely, I think! Though I think freeing her parents is something she deeply wanted for herself, too ("I miss you so much" / "so I wanted to do something for yourself for you") even if it was something she was continually putting off till the Aaravos situation, as far as she knew, was resolved
Prior to S6 I went back and forth on whether the show would frame Rayla's end of the possession plot line / trying to get Callum back as either "It doesn't matter what happens to me (again) I just want to save him" (which is what leaving in TTM and other moments was about) OR whether it'd be framed as "I refuse to sacrifice him / something I want (again)" and therefore be character development. I leaned towards the latter for reasons outlined here since the two have the chance to be even more thematically codependent than they already are in terms of their senses of identity:
As long as Callum is Callum (not possessed, or she has reason to believe he’s still in there), Rayla likely won’t be able to bring herself to kill him. This is from an emotional / characterization standpoint, of course, but from a thematic standpoint, we can see where it stems from Callum and Rayla continually being each other’s main connection to their sense of identity. As long as Callum is Callum (“you’re the destiny is a book you write yourself guy”), he’s worth saving. As long as Callum is Callum, she can be Rayla (“Rayla’s brave. She saves people” / “Rayla. My name is Rayla, and I’m going home”). As long as she’s Rayla, he can be Callum. Because if Callum isn’t Callum, then he’s dead, and if he’s dead, she can kill him. And if Rayla kills him, if Callum is dead, then she won’t be Rayla anymore. Because to literally kill Callum would be to simultaneously symbolically/emotionally kill herself.
This goes both ways of course - Callum can't/won't sacrifice Rayla because to do so would be to sacrifice a fundamental part of himself (namely his deep and Pure devotion to others which means he'll never go entirely down the negative side of Viren's path, and keep to the positive - leaving Aaravos, breaking free, etc). This was subtext prior to S6, but now it's actual text (she's his light/truth/hope of salvation, etc) so it goes double going forward. This is true for Rayla too — Callum is her guiding light and her star, he's one of the people who's taught her the most about how to love and the person she wants to be.
With all that in mind, yeah, I do think that Rayla will choose to not sacrifice Callum for the right reasons. Part of this is scaffolded under witnessing Callum not sacrificing her No Matter What prior to her won choice, and realizing "what [she] most deeply desires" isn't just Callum's survival even, but specifically the life they can have together, which she needs to stick around for and thereby not sacrifice herself. Runaan is also explicitly remorseful over the actions he took towards her where he choose duty over love, so Rayla realizing she should choose love over duty ties into them growing together as well in a positive way. We also see her realize some of this I think in choosing to let Lain and Tiadrin stay together rather than separate them specifically because of the Moonphoenix bracelet Callum gave her as well.
"I risked losing the best thing I ever had" because of her own duty turned revenge vs "I refuse to lose either of us like this" and finally fully accepting an assassin was never who she was and never who she Should be, in sacrificing others' lives or her own included. Them both Choosing each other above everything else was exactly what I was hoping for as soon as the "I need you to kill me" plot line started / wrote in my first CHET fic pre-S4 years ago:
She has two options as she pulls away. She can make a grab for her swords and go out, swords blazing. Kill Viren or Aaravos if she can as the sky splits open, purple and thrumming with magic; die with a sword in her hand in all likelihood. The release spell has already started. Or she can help Callum up, and they can live to fight another day—together. Rayla grips the back of his jacket. Presses her forehead to his neck for a second, tears building her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she says. His arm tightens around her, like he’s braced for her to go. “Rayla—” “I’m so sorry,” she repeats, sobbing. This is all her fault, but she can’t do that to him. “We have to get out of here.” [...]
Callum is staring at her when she pulls back and she swallows hard. She doesn’t know what to say. It’s both a blessing and a curse when he speaks first. “You chose me,” he says, not quite softly; she can tell there’s a lump in his throat. An edge of anger that not doing so was even an option. “Yeah, well. It was about time,” she says quietly. “I—”
So uh, here's hoping!
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arliedraws · 8 hours
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Do you think Regulus defected because of Kreacher or because he stopped believing in blood supremancy? Do you think he might have faked his death?
I’m rubbing my grubby lil hands together.
Let’s just proceed with the understanding that my opinion is based on my interpretation of the books. It is an interpretation which means—who fuckin’ knows if I’m right.
The short answer is— yes, sort of Kreacher, kind of? And to the second question, no.
I think Regulus was an arrogant, proud, and entitled little boy who was overshadowed by his brother. He was weak, and he wanted power. I see him as toadying after Sirius up until Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor. I think Regulus doesn’t cut ties with Sirius until Regulus secures his place in Slytherin (in case he needs Sirius’s protection). After that, he rejects Sirius entirely. Going out of his way to mock Sirius at school and tattle on him at home.
Regulus is also extremely vocal in his prejudice against Muggles and Muggleborns, using the slur Mudblood constantly and parroting his parents’ beliefs. He collects articles about Voldemort. He really looks up to Voldemort who is going to protect their way of life. After all, Muggleborns aren’t really full wizards anyway and they’re degrading and sullying pureblood lines.
But Regulus will always play second fiddle to Sirius. He’s not stupid—he knows his parents love Sirius more, particularly his mother. No one cares what Regulus does—they only care what Sirius does. For ages, he tries to get their attention, but they don’t care. So fine, Regulus can find someone else who will appreciate him. He joins the Death Eaters, but the only reason he’s allowed into the ranks is because of Bellatrix’s influence. Even so, he’s not in the inner circle. At all. And he’s tasked with really shitty things, and he’s serving the Dark Lord—he’s not getting any sort of attention or appreciation at all. He doesn’t have the stomach for torturing or killing—I believe Sirius when he said that Regulus was soft.
The truth is, Regulus knows that to gain any sort of power, he has to make his way into Voldemort’s inner circle. When Voldemort requests the use of a house-elf, he volunteers Kreacher. Regulus is fairly suspicious of Voldemort’s actions and he’s been piecing together the Horcrux thing, so when Kreacher tells him about the cave, Regulus is certain that he’s right about Voldemort. But he’s also exceptionally offended. It’s a fucking insult! Kreacher belongs to the Blacks—doesn’t Voldemort know who the Blacks are? Considering Lucius Malfoy’s utmost fury at losing Dobby and nearly cursing Harry inside the fucking school, I would bet that harming someone’s house-elf is extremely offensive (I mean, not in the way that it should be offensive).
Also, Regulus loves Kreacher. He loves the only person who seems to care for him (even if that person is his fucking slave and bound to serve him…).
But Regulus doesn’t give a damn about Muggles or Muggleborns. Voldemort has insulted Regulus by not including him in the inner circle, and he’s insulted the Black family by treating Kreacher like shit. So he decides to get his revenge by destroying the Horcrux…and we know how well that goes…
The funny thing is, I would bet Voldemort didn’t want Regulus at all—I think he wanted Sirius. If Voldemort had Sirius’s loyalty, Sirius would’ve been his most dangerous Death Eater (or, at least he would have given Bellatrix a run for her money), but instead, Voldemort was stuck with Regulus. And I doubt he hardly noticed when Regulus stopped showing up. Even Bellatrix might be like, “Oh, shit, I forgot about my little cousin. Anyone seen him lately?” (This is mostly because it would be funny.)
Okay, but to your question—did he fake his death? NO! But how fucking hilarious if he did?
“Everyone’s gonna be so sad I’m dead!” and then… no one really notices…
But five years ago, I started writing an AU where he DOES survive and fucks off to Greece to hide with Great Aunt Cassiopeia who demands, in return for her discretion, that he hunt down treasures for her mass collection. And maybe he fucks Charlie Weasley… and somewhere down the line becomes a halfway decent person after learning some fucking humility.
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thelovetheystole · 2 days
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Robert rant incoming.
1) This is the most interesting backstory they could come up with for the new Sugden?
2) How harrowing will it be when 'up against' Aaron's past? Since they insisted on putting those two not-so-sunny characters together without them having one thing to talk about, this will inevitably end up being the thing that bonds them emotionally, because all they have now is sex. Which trauma will Aaron choose to focus on?
Because if he starts talking about all of them, Fauxbert won't be the focus, which they clearly want him to be. So, Jackson, Ben or Liv?
3) This is when I'm going to scream into the void about Robert again, okay? I'm getting a bit tired of everyone coming on the show having these off screen tragic backstories when the one we actually saw on screen never seemed to rate. (If it would have been written in 2024, can you imagine?)
Robert watching his mother die in that burning barn at 14 years old never seemed to qualify as a 'harrowing' experience that may have damaged or shaped him, in the eyes of his fellow villagers (or the viewers, and certainly not the producers/writers), neither did finding out who was responsible or who was willing to cover for them. Think about that. 14 years old.
And people wonder why he turned out like he did. Fauxbert, I assume, was a grown man when this happened and he has been acting like an ass since the moment we met him. Presumably because of what he's been through in the army, and specifically this event.
Aaron was the same a year after Liv's death, beating people up and and saying horrible things to anyone and everyone, including victim blaming Suni and Nicky, being vile about Dawn, humiliating Ethan after sleeping with him and almost killing Cain.
Is that understandable? Sure, it absolutely can be. PTSD is obviously a very real thing, for one. But why can't Robert's behavior ever be understood? His mum died a very painful death, and he was there, a child, who couldn't help/save her. His brother/best friend was responsible and lied about it and their father lied to help cover it up.
No exaggeration needed either, it was shown on the show, step by step. People can still watch it now.
He. was. just. supposed. to. get. over. it.
Then the brother and father were closer than ever, and Robert was on the outside looking in, for all time, and he was basically shamed his whole life for not being able to forgive and forget what happened to Sarah and why. Who would be able to get over something so traumatic without help and understanding and support?
Andy even mocked him about it before chicken run 2.0 when Robert voiced his pain over Sarah and Jack. Is that what this is about? Him liking me more than you? No Andy, that's not the whole story and you know it, and fyi, decent parents don't pick a child they 'like more'. Ask Wendy Posner and she'll tell you.
Robert's constant need to remind everyone that he was the 'real son' and that Andy was adopted comes from feeling that was the only 'advantage' he ever he had. The only valid reason he could think of for Jack to love him, see him, pick him. Accept him. The son who didn't want to be a farmer. The son who kissed a boy. The son who stole his brother's girl. The disappointment. But at least they were blood and that had to count for something right?
He was 14 years old when that fire happened, like Liv was when she arrived in 2014. Her upbringing with Sandra wasn't great, and then she found out about Gordon. Those things contributed to her alcoholism later and that was something she would have struggled with for the rest of her life, had it not ended too soon.
He was 17 when he fell for Katie, his brother's girlfriend. That's something he was held accountable for his whole life. Around that age Liv blackmailed Maya over Jacob instead of trying to get help for him, because she couldn't grasp the severity of the situation. Because she was still considered a child and treated as such.
When Robert was sent away from the village and told to never come back, he was 19, about the same age Liv was when she couldn't bear the idea of Aaron leaving her and moving away with Ben or consider going with them. (I know she was drinking at the time, but she was still very attached to the idea of living with Aaron when she had married Vinny and was sober in 2022.)
Robert was treated more unfairly than any other child on the show, and judged by adult standards way more than any other teen, and I'll die on that hill. (He was also the adult who wad judged the hardest for cheating, but hey, that's for another day.)
I guess I'm just sad for Robert that he now has another brother he has to compete against. Someone's who's trauma is worse, yet is heroic and saves people. Someone who Aaron wants to be with - for unexplained reasons. Someone Victoria is desperate to be loved by. Someone about to become an important part of the community.
Someone who is now basically living Robert's life.
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canihaveacalmtime · 14 hours
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Ever since you were born, you can only acknowledge your mother existence and for your whole childhood, you wonder who or where you father is.
Your mother doesn't really do her job or take responsibility of being a mother, she just always busy working and working all day so you eventually learned to cook for yourself and occasionally for your mother too. That 'occasionally' soon turn into daily when you turn 6, you take all the chores ,cleanings and despite all the spat, slaps or shouts and curses your mother aim at you, you still love her because she is your mother.
One faithful night, your mother didn't return home and as you wait for a few hours turn into a few days and then weeks and then months. She completely abandoned you and you thought of how such a fool you are. You then leave the small apartment, the place you once called home, and went out to the society and try to make a living, to survive.
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For 6 years, you worked for a small food restaurant owned by a middle aged woman because she took you in back then. The two of you runs the restaurant and really just having a really happy life together as the two of you.
During dinner time of a saturday evening, as the restaurant closed, you and the woman sit down and watch the news as the two of you always do but today news does make a big change to your life because in 6 years, you saw your biological mother again on the news, next to a man who you don't even know but looks so much alike you, getting interview by the news reporters.
To your horror, they were actually finding you. You see your mother cry, you hear how much she misses you and pray for you to come back to her as the man comforts her and that makes you wonder, why now?
Why bother finding you now?
You hope that everything just happened wasn't real, that you were just hallucinating and nothing will happen, no one will come and take you away, pray that you won't have to see her again.
You just never expected them to appear at your restaurant the next week, forcefully taken you away from the only person you consider family.
In the next few days, you find yourself being treat so tenderly and lovingly by your biological mother who had never done something like that before, you also got to know that the man who always with your mother is your biological father. It all happened so fast you wish this is all just a nightmare and you will soon wake up in your room back at the restaurant and get to hug your considered family but as days turn into weeks, it hits you that you would never get to return there as you have been begging them to just abandon you and let you return to your considered home but they only smile and tell you that "It's going to be alright, sweetheart".
After a whole year, you find yourself in your rebel stage and finally take action to try and escape this giant mansion. Your attempts were just to outrun the bodyguards, sneak out from the kitchen backdoors to climb over the fences. Attempts soon become more bold like run off during a family hangout, knockout some maids to steal their keys, actually hurt yourself but the one attempt that finally snap your parent limit was when you jumped from your bedroom balcony which was on the third floor.
After that? There's no after that because when you recovered and returned 'home', you will be constantly feed food with a bit of 'medicine' to make you sleep faster after every meal. Your mother would be by your side every single moment there is to be and your father simply add more security to the place to make sure nothing like that attempt of your ever occur again.
Even if you try to rebel again, they would just lock you in your room and worst, break your legs so that you won't even have a chance to make any escape or attempt to fight back.
"Mom and dad are sorry for doing this to you but aince you keep on hurting yourself, we have to take measures into our hands. Now you will be just safe and sound in our care, alright my love."
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A/N: This must be the one I hate the most istg 😞
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nonuggetshere · 8 months
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I need to draw something with PK and Hornet there's not enough of these two together in my art
#thylacines can talk#in my au specifically she used to be SUCH a daddy's girl but then she grew up and grew bitter and resentful over her role in life. the#reason for her birth and the way her pwn sibling has been treated. She actually drifted away from both of her biological parents because#her being bitter about being concieved for a specific purpose and already having all of her life planned out for her is a big part why she#grew distant with her father and step mother so naturally it also applied to her mother. but she grew apart way more from PK and WL because#she had more grievances with them than just that one thing. Plus PK could sometimes be a little too smothering and overprotective. He truly#loves his daughter and maybe showers her with more love than usual because of what he did to his other kids but at times he doesnt know how#to reel it back. he got worse when Hornet pulled away because he was terrified of losing her which ironically made the drift bigger.#eventually they reconcile and grow closer again but they'll never be as close as they were when she was little. Or maybe they're just close#in a different way and that's alright. I don't see Hornet as an overly affectionate person so being smothered with love bugs her. She loves#her father and step mother of course she does. But she has a different way of showing it which took a little while for them to understand#and adjust to. They eventually grow close just not in that very affectionate little kid way#She actually grew closer to Vespa during her teen years as she was her teacher and mother figure and Hornet clung to her when she grew apart#from her two mothers and father.#oh a funfact. Hornet doesn't really call WL step mother. When she was little Herrah was mummy and WL was momma and now that she's older#they're both mum but she comes up with increasingly more ridiculous ways to differentiate them. She only really calls WL 'step mother' when#shes angry with her. or 'your mother' if she's talking yo her siblings. A very cheap shot that would make WL feel really shitty but makes#Hornet feel better for a while.#faaf au
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kakusu-shipping · 11 months
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My mini contribution to @echoes-lighthouse's Evil Slasher Orphanage! My wife Anna and I are here to help, and brought a few more kids of our own.
I really thought I was a horror fan until I sat down to draw this and came up blank. I guess I'm not a slasher guy, because a LOT more Monsters and Beasts came to mind, so it took a while to form a list. Though I did include Sam who is certainly a Creeture but.. They're human enough.
#Emile's Arts#Proud Parent Posting#Slasher Orphanage#I'm stealing the Entity's abilities from DBD and giving them to me#And then immediately using them on accident to bring all these kids into one reality#That doesn't have to be canon to the orphanage obviously I just love being an Eldritch Being but Stupid#Also Friday the 13th is a movie in the Scream franchise so I thought this was a fun way to explain that fkjsdfkdfdkj#Honorable mention goes out to Frankenstien's Monster he is my baby but I could not for the life of me choose a design for him#I knew I KNEW I wanted Brandon immediately amazing concept that movie horrid execution#What if you had the powers of God in Middle School. You'd kill people right??? Right.#Also Sam Trick R Treat my beloved amazing Comic series that I love their design and energy#Spirit of Halloween little guy#One year I will dress up as them.. one year#ALSO BUBBA#I was so surprised Bubba wasn't in the original Orphanage cast he's SUCH a sweet pea I love him#Do not let him in the kitchen I don't care how big and wet his puppy eyes are do not let him in there#I also included Billy Trick R Treat because I wanted to the kid who plays him in the movie adaptation is very cute#And I LOVE a murderous little kid it's incredibly funny to me#More honorable mentions I considered;#Fran Bow and Misfortune but neither of them are Slashers on Purpose really#Misfortune is just a victim and IF Fran did kill her parents it wasn't her own choice#Six LN as well I love her but again... Not really a slasher. Also she's like two feet tall#I also though M3gan but eeeeeeeeeeeh I dunno I might come back to that#I was thinking about Rin Dead By Daylight as well and she's still on the table I think she'd fit in#I was also originally going to do The New King from Chzo Mythos but changed to John just because he's more Slasher Child than DaCabe#And again I kept running through Monsters like from Crypt TV and such and decided against them#Me my children my wife and this random person who's farm we stumbled across and are now crashing in#It's fine Anna's very use to Farm Labor she'll be a great help#And she is VERY calm comforting mother-y when she eventually calms down#She's gonna dote all over those girls
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im2tired4usernames · 6 months
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I hate that I literally just do not trust any of the older folks in my family to do right by anyone
#if i have learned anything from my grandparents parents uncles and aunts it's how not to treat children and spouses#i hope I'm a good wife to my wife and that i never put them through pain I've seen people put their partners through#i hope i never treat any children in my life like they do#i hope my possible children my nephews and nieces and my siblings always know they have a home with me#EVEN if I'm mad or disappointed in them#even if they scream how much they hate me i hope they know i love them I'll still feed them and make sure that's safe#i hope the people in my life never have to question of they're loved or safe with me i hope i can provide for them so they never have to go#with out something they need and then some to spoil them i want these people loved#i don't want my daughter to think because she talked back to me or is dating someone in not super found of that I'm goin to throw her away#i hope all the kids in my life always know I will try to take care of them as best i can no matter what#not trusting your elders to love you sucks ass not trusting your partner to love you through the scary bits of life sucks#i know so many men who just leave their spouses or cheat on them when they're wives get cancer#that's one thing I'm glad my dad did everything he could to try to let my mom know he loved hwr when she was here at least#i didn't understand or like some of the things he did but qt least he stayed with her and loved her then#unlike some people I'm regrettably related to#i hwar people at work talk about their spouses also one lady wants her husband to die#and it makes me sad i hope to God. my wife never has to question how much i love them i hope they feel loved and special forever#i hate how people treat the people they say they love the most i hope i am not like that i hope i never ever get like that
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freebooter4ever · 1 year
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The tech guys are hanging out in my office again and chatting about $10,000 week long vacations like this is normal.
#Journal shit#Ah yes the life i gave up to be a grunt 3D generalist working on the lowest of the low entertainment \o/#A lot of my friends here get mad at my dad for not being supportive#And i myself get frustrated at him for being insulting about my general life failure#But like....he has a point#I dont think he needed to treat me like yesterdays trash over it but#He was right i probably should have taken a programming job#But poor dad he got saddled with a child who is stubborn and tragically not financially motivated like at all#I mean he is the exact same damn way i feel like my dad forgets that it was just me and him for four years there#I saw how he lived without certain influences and he did not give a crap about status or money or fancy things#It wasnt until the rich bitch came along and started making him like...update his furniture every few years because *style*#and making him buy new designer coats every year so he doesn't embarrass himself in front of the other volleyball parents#Im just saying prior to the introduction of Steves Wife to our family these things just didnt exist to us#It does greatly entertain me that Steves Wife is not allowed to come to the ohio farm because everybody agreed that she just...#Could Not Handle The Poor#Anyway thats my dads idea of a vacation going to visit grandma on the farm this summer#And two guesses he and grandma will just sit around reading and doing puzzles and watching tennis#Pretty much exactly what i did when i went on vacation to visit her#I want to ask my dad if you think i am a failure what do you think of yourself i am exactly fucking like you for better or worse#Well i mean except i also did a lot of drawing of hockey players and grandma would lean over my shoulder#Saying things like *he looks like a nice young man*#yes grandma and he also racks up the penalty minutes like you wouldnt believe
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mobbothetrue · 1 year
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I was the tiger, and no one understood me. Everyone else was domestic. Everyone else knew not of fear.
I was supposed to be domestic. A child’s toy. I was supposed to be tame and docile. I was not. The boy pulled my ears and my tail and was cruel. The father averted his eyes. The mother encouraged it.
The Mother didn’t understand what it meant to be domestic. The mother thought she knew better than anyone else. The mother thought she understood me.
It was the mother who chased me down with a kitchen knife after my claws broke the boys skin. Howling her anger, she pursued me out of the house, but she could not keep up once I ran.
I was the tiger, and no one understood me, but I didn’t understand anyone either. Other animals could speak, I watched them do it with narrowed eyes, but I could not. What had the mother done to me? What had the mother denied me?
I found a shop that smelled like home, and the strange man fed me a pastry. It stuck to my teeth, tasted like cinnamon and marshmallow. I understood him. He understood me. I could not stay, the mother was still looking for me.
I found joy on a beach rich with fish. The mother came to me there, and I swam away. She understood me, then, and threw her knife to the ground. I did not understand her, so I waited in the water until she left. It was warm.
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toomuchdickfort · 10 months
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Vent abt smth that gets on my Nerves
#tried bringing up to mom like. hey how could I bring up coming out to family. and she was like visibly uncomfortable so I was like dw I’m no#gonna like try to ruin Christmas with it or some shit I’m just. nervous u see. and I’m sat there anxiety rambling abt it because oh my god.#and she pulls out the fucking. ‘can’t you just be a person?’ mom I am a person already. the problem is. the PROBLEM IS. EVERYONE THINKS I AM#AND THUS TREATS ME AS A GIRL. like oh my god.#vent#it’s not a huge vent like if it comes up I’m not gonna Lie moms discomfort abt the matter be damned.#but like. ‘can’t you just be a person’ is what she says every fucking time it comes up. like mom. mother. mi madre. do you realize how much#of an insult that feels like when you say it EVERY TIME I bring up trans anxieties. or dysphoria. or any of the ways my transness affects my#life. like being trans doesn’t make me less of a person oh my god. but also frankly I don’t have the patience to be nice about getting into#things and I don’t have the heart to hurt her about it and even if I did have one of those I don’t have the patience to hold her hand#through all this shit. like I gave up having mom on this journey ages ago do you know how painful it is to un-give up on something that#immense. it’s hard and it hurts and it burns and it’s like. giving up to begin with didn’t hurt too bad- it’s cutting off the festering#wound. but. but then. you find out that. you can in fact work with that. and suddenly you have to try and clean the wound. care for it and#wrap it and do it all over again. and god it hurts. and. I’m not entirely sure I want to un-give up all the way on this? it’s. a lot#like I get and I appreciate that she’s trying to do. something. in theory at least. she avoids the subject when I bring it up and all but#cringed when I brought up coming out to her side of the family. she calls me my deadname and her daughter more than she did before she said#she would try. and I don’t have the energy to uncover that wound enough to start cleaning it. I’m just letting it sit there because frankly#it’ll be such a huge thing because it’s Always a huge thing when I don’t let the subject drop mega fast and I’m. I know she’s not gonna cut#me off for just being trans but GOD I want to keep ONE of my parents in my fucking life when I’m able to stand on my own two feet holy shit#and. man. it appears this is. still more of a thing than I thought it was. thats. annoying and inconvenient
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seilon · 1 year
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i usually dont comment on these kinds of things because they shouldnt be treated with the level of weird parasocial interest they tend to be on social media generally but. claire (lil tay) was so fucking young. it doesnt take knowing her personally to feel just how jarring and genuinely tragic her sudden death is. like shit. she was only 14. she didnt even get to live her own life. sorry if this is pointless and theres no call to action or anything here but. jesus.
#kibumblabs#cw death#havent looked too deep into it because im still conflicted over it feeling voyeuristic and disrespectful to do so or not but#from what i have heard it seems sketchy re: her brother and idk i dont want to accuse anyone of anything without proper basis especially#when that someone also passed away but. considering his history of controlling behavior over her image and how it put her in some#serious danger at worst - situations a child should not be in at best... if he did have any part in this i. well i dont know.#cant exactly say he needs to see justice considering its a bit late for that but. i dont know#depending on the circumstances one of her parents may need to answer to some neglect charges. but anyway it all feels so trivial when its#already too late.#you know what. what i think i can say for sure is that i hope she's properly remembered and honored for who she actually was and not as#'lil tay the worlds youngest flexer'. a persona her brother made up that put her in dangerous situation for the sake of clout. by no means#is the public entitled to anything but if anything more is put out there in memorium i hope its something#letting the world know who she was as a real teenage girl with her own interests and personality and favorite songs and teenage obsessions#she looked like such a sweet girl. i hope her friends and family who actually knew her are haunted as little as possible by her#bastardized image on the internet. i hope they– as well as anyone else really– can separate that character from the innocent young girl#who actually existed and who's life was cut so. so fucking short.#i know i said i didnt want to comment too much about this but idk man. it really got to me. maybe because its such a novel situation thats#never exactly happened before- the way her image was on in the internet and how this case will inevitably be treated on the internet#how young she was and how little say she had in how she'd be portrayed on line– much less now how she'd be REMEMBERED.#its disturbing. and deeply deeply tragic.#2009. she was born in 2009. fuck. thats just. wrong
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"what do you know about drinking" "what do you know about smoking" "what do you know about weed" "what do you know about drugs" you do not know me or my life!!!!!!
#hes always like “what do you know” and then theres a chance hell call me the r slur#and like. i was a smoker for 4 years. i was an alcoholic for 6.#i did speed in muddle school#i smoked pot and had edibles. i had edibles woth my fucking parents.#amd then he complains that i have a vape (bought with my own money!!) and that my parents give me alcohol now (they gave my sisters alcohol#at 13!!)#like he smoked and drank around my suster with cigarettes and drinks my parents bought her#but the moment ma buys me a vaoe with ny own money or i have any experience drinking its awful#i guess its because shes sooo mature and hard working and ik just a disrespectful kid#even tho im a fucking adult now and he never had any right to treat me half the way he did/does#“i treat her like i treat my 10 year old brother” srsly. srsly?? am i 10 now? am i your 10 yr old baby brother now? no. im 18 fucking years#old and i had a totally different life experience than your brother when i was 10 too. we are not related. that is NOT what they meant when#they said to treat me like your younger sister. fuck you. fuck off.#also. im SORRY to your brother if this is how you treat him. but it fucking isnt. your kind to him. you play with him. u fckng LOVE him#while ur an absolute abusive POS towards me#u literally talk shit about me! too my friends!! what? u think my bestie since 6th grade and my cousin ive known all my life are gonna agree#with you? how fucking stupid can u be?#also. u r not the expert on disability just becuz u lost half ur foot and have adhd. ur extremely fucking ableist actually#“i could play sports and so cpukd this guy with a pacemaker i knew so no disability is ever an excuse you can do anything and also im gonna#call you (an autistic person) a retard and say the n word constantly and call children n word lettes!!!! becuz i am a totally normal and wel#well adjusted individual!!!“#i hope someone hears you say half the shit you say and fucking jumps your ass#and i hope those fuckings pigs u love so much dont do shit for you#you ableist racist transphobic homophobic intersexist bigoted piece of fucking shit#like. if a form of bigotry exjsts he fucking loves it.#god. fuck you. fuck you fuck you.#i hope you fucking kill yourself
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duncantashi · 1 year
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i hate home
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toyfrogs · 2 years
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help 😀
#I feel like I managed to accustom my friends when it comes to my mum’s weird restrictions and reactions because I tell them pretty much#everything that happens in our relationship and usually ask them for advice#but the one thing that frustrates me is that my boyfriend has no idea how bad things are and thankfully doesn’t understand what it’s like to#have a parent that controls the way you dress/wear your makeup and hair and dictates what you’re supposed to do for a living because they#want you to have a comfortable life and not go through extreme poverty like they did (I know her intentions are the best but she just#doesn’t know how to act in a way that I can comprehend fully…I love her with all my heart and it would literally kill me to have to cut ties#and I’m currently freaking out because I still haven’t told her I’m dating someone who’s not the ideal type she thinks would be a good fit#for me and it’s destroying me because I’ve never felt this good and have never been treated with so much care and respect and I’ve never had#so much reassurance that I’m loved and this relationship is just something I’m not willing to give up on or have it be taken away from me#but at the same time I NEED to tell her because how am I supposed to keep lying about which friends I’m going out with and not be able to#freely spend quality time with the person I love without stressing about time and being scared she’s gonna call or ask for pictures or#I’m planning on telling her but I’m SO terrified to lose him and also scared he’s gonna make my life a living heel and think I’m lying#about every little thing I do in the future and stop me from seeing him or having a phone or idk????#things are way too unpredictable in this house and have always been and I HATE that
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