#because this means people possibly Wont Know It Was A Mistake and instead might think its a genuine opinion of mine

[thevalleyoftriumph]

im beginning to think that i am mentally ill and the internet makes my mental illness Worse

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

Thoughts on cancel culture

I was thinking and heres my like opinions on the whole thing.

i FIRMLY believe punishment only needs to be as harsh as is required for correcting someone and I just think maybe thats how we should be when cancelling people...like...maybe it doesnt always have to be like. your career is over maybe it can be like..."hey just letting you know, that wasnt very nice to say" and then they stop doing that thing- and say "thanks for teaching me! i will do differently going forward : ) and correct that thing-" like its weird to just lose it on someone for making a mistake isint it? its like, this time in vr chat i was just having a good time goofing around in vr chat and having a good time and instead of someone saying "oh hey im getting kind of overwhelmed by what youre doing could you quiet down" they felt the need to cuss me out- and im like "all you had to do was ask me nicely to stop- but im sorry for bothering you, ill stop now" and you know what? i did stop. Not because I was cussed at, but because I like to make other people comfortable and happy too. I dont like to cause problems. All he had to do was express that he was uncomfortable and id have stopped.

I didint start it back up again. I didin't complain. But i did inform him he just had to ask nicely and i wouldn't do things to upset him on purpose : (

That is to say, I would have stopped and not started back up again if he'd just asked me nicely too : ( dont just assume someones like, a bad person who wont change and deserves to get screamed at and yelled at. if they really are adamant about their opinions or actions i dont think theyd change over any amount of cussing so thats kind of a waste of time and energy anyways...but like, if they are someone who can change maybe all you have to do is...ask nicely??? and if theyre a nice person they just will actually stop doing the thing you asked them to stop???

and I know a few folks who are intentionally acting edge-lordy not becaues they really think those things, but because they want a reaction out of people, and they also, cant really be corrected by cussing them out and yelling because well thats what they want too. So the only really logical answer seems to be "unless someone is an active threat to others around them, in which case its probably under the jurisdiction of the law, the best answer is to be nice and polite and to teach someone not try to publicly execute them for making a mistake" idk. i think it might also make it a lot easier for people to get extremist about things because where else can someone go once theyve been kicked out of decent society? they have to go somwhere and if the only people that will accept them are people with harsher opinions, thats probably where theyre going to go : ( especially if theyre told theres no way back...

I mean im open for debate but i think maybe we focus too hard on "getting back at them" and not enough on "assume ignorance over malevolence whenever possible"

I mean its easy to think everyone knows whats going on all the time but i just saw a freaking poll where 3% of people hadn't heard of *bat man* so i think its fair to assume theres a lot more people than you realize who just need like, to be told stuff even if you think EVERYONE knows something - Like im open to hear other opinons though, just like i said you don't have to cuss at me to talk to me you can always just talk reasonably to me- Im a reasonable human being- and i feel like if i did anything cancellable i'd also want to be spoken to nicely and just corrected because you only need a sentence to get through to me not a like...pitchfork. TT_TT

[aliensunflower-fics]

‘Akumatized Marinette’ A funny prompt!

So ive seen a few different fics and posts where Lila convinces the class that Marinette is in fact Mayura and/or is working in some way for Hawkmoth, using such evidence as ‘Marinette’s never been akumatized’ and citing how sometimes Marinette’s attempts to be helpful or friendly or yes her mistakes have resulted in an akuma going after her classmates. Also other evidence like how many akumas the class has had total. But what if Lila could not convince class that Marinette was working with Hawkmoth, desperate to connect Marinette to the supervillain in hopes of plummeting her reputation Lila claims that Marinette is in fact AKUMATIZED hence her villainous actions towards Lila!

Now just follow me here:

What if the class don't believe Lila THAT MUCH. Sure Lila has them convinced that she’s a diplomats daughter and that shes got a million illnesses and physical problems and yes she even has everyone believing that she’s famous and that her and Adrien are a secret item [how scandalous!]. But no one in the class will for a SECOND believe that Marinette is working with Hawkmoth. Lila has tried broaching the subject several times, shes tried leaving ‘hints’ and pointing things out that seem ‘incriminating’ but each and every time she does the class scoff and each of them begin listing a 100 reasons why Marinette is definitely NOT a fan of Hawkmoth and would never work with him.

Frustrated but determined to connect the super villain to Marinette and alienate the girl further Lila seethes and plots. Getting more frustrated each failed attempt and trying to chew off her own sausage hair when people talk about how Marinette would definitely kick Hawkmoth’s ass. Then one day Marinette walks in with a totally new look, she’s cut her hair into a messy pixie cut and is going for a pink punk look. The look gets everyone's attention and the day is spent with everyone complimenting the baker girl [she even gets asked out by a few of the guys in the other classes] frustrated that everyone is paying attention to Marinette instead of herself Lila cant help but make up some big lie about how Marinette assaulted her and stole her money.

The class is justifiably shocked! They have been especially protective of Marinette and her reputation ever since she was expelled and nearly akumatized so more then a few of them start yelling at Lila even Alya who normally sides with Lila due to her belief that her designer friend is jealous is furious at Lila for making an accusation like that! Desperate to recover from the poorly timed and worded lie she’s made Lila thinks fast and comes up with a scheme just crazy enough to work! She claims that obviously it wasn’t ACTUALLY Marinette, no it was the horrible akuma MARIONETTE! The class blinks taken aback but they can’t help but ask what Lila is talking about.

The italian smirks feeling sinister pleasure course through her. She begins weaving her sob story tale! About how Marinette had snuck into one of Adrien and Lila’s photoshoots! Where the poor baker girl saw them *gasp* KISSING! Poor Marinette heartbroken and distraught was akumatized into the horrible monster Marionette! Who stalked Lila home and attacked her! She goes on to claim that the Marinette who was in class today was NOT in fact their good friend rocking a new style and haircut but was instead a vicious akuma after all why do you think Lila was keeping so far away from Marinette all day? She’s TRAUMATIZED after her ordeal and now Marionette the akuma is attending class as if she were Marinette! How terrible could Hawkmoth be to be using their heartbroken friend like this!

The class doesn’t want to believe it, but it makes such perfect sense Marinette WOULD be heartbroken by seeing Adrien the ‘love of her life’ kissing Lila her main rival! And just yesterday Marinette looked completely normal with her cute little pigtails and her signature outfit! She never told any of them she was even GOING to get a haircut! And surely if Marinette was going to make such a big change in her appearance she would have told her bestie Alya right?

But now what is the class to do? Poor Marinette is akumatized and they have no idea what to do or what her object could possibly be! Max, always the logical one concludes that they should simply contact Ladybug and have her help poor Marinette! Lila quickly jumps in claiming she already tried contacting Ladybug OBVIOUSLY since the pair are besties! But that Marionette tricked Ladybug into believing she wasn’t akumatized at all! “No!” Lila laments, “were going to need to take care of this ourselves!”

The class is resolute determined to help poor Marinette without the help of Ladybug who has fallen for Hawkmoth’s most clever trick yet. But Lila is quick to warn them that they MUST be careful after all Marionette is a VERY powerful akuma, they cant know for sure the true extent of her terrible powers or when or WHO she might attack next! Lila fears that it will be poor Adrien or perhaps herself again! Insert fake sobs here. The class vow to protect Lila and Adrien from Marionette, and Alya who believes she’s best equipped for this situation since she IS Rena Rouge takes charge of the situation, they decide that no one is allowed to be alone with Marionette and NONE of them are to let the akuma know that they are on to her! They need to play the long game and figure out what her akumatized object is so that they can snatch it and free Marinette from Hawkmoth’s dastardly clutches!

Lila rejoices believing that she’s finally achieved victory, the class now think that Marinette is a dangerous monster and will isolate her, not to mention Lila now believes she can make up any lie she wants about Marinette and that the class will unquestioningly believe her! She goes home with a pep in her step eagerly plotting for all the lies and perks she can get from this newest lie and decides to eat a whole tub of ice cream to celebrate her cleverness, unaware that she’s just signed the ticket for her defeat.

You see the class LOVE Marinette, she’s their friend, and ‘learning’ that she’s been turned into some sort of monstrous extremely clever akuma is both a suprise and none at all. Later on as they all chat in the newly made text group Max points out how it was obvious that Marinette would become the most dangerous and clever akuma shes the smartest person in class besides himself and extremely creative and resourceful. Rose laments about how hurt Marinette must be and how they simply MUST save her as soon as possible. Alix curses Hawkmoth out and claims that the sick freak was probably TARGETING Marinette for awhile now because of how awesome she is. Nino and Kim cry about how their childhood bff needs them now more then ever! And Alya tells them to get ready because they cant abandon Marinette now that she needs them most!

The next day Lila comes to class ready to spin another tale about how the vicious akuma Marionette destroyed her room last night! And while the class do listen and tell Lila that it sucks that happened they seem noticeably... Distracted. When Marinette walks into the room the class practically explodes, Rose and Juleka INSIST that Marinette sit behind them so they can talk! Everyone has some sweet compliment to give to the baker reminding her about how wonderful she is! Lila’s jaw drops open as her classmates practically rush to hug and touch and talk to what they believe is a horrible monstrous Akuma! And it doesnt end their.

Lila asks Alya to hang out at the mall? She cant her and Nino are going to be on ‘Marionette’ surveillance tracking the akuma to see what shes up to and if she might show her akumatized object! Lila decides to try woo Mylene and Ivan into letting her handle their charities ‘finances’? Mylene starts crying about how the charity was Marinette’s idea before she got akumatized and now she might not even remember how amazing it was when shes eventually de-akumatized Lila cant stand hearing them talk about her enemy and gives up her pursuit of the funds. Lila decides to hang out with Kitty Section? They invited Marionette to every show hoping Luka would notice that she’s an akuma and use his amazing intuition to help free poor poor Marinette!

Instead of ostracizing the girl Marinette is now invited to every big event, and is constantly being showered with compliments and love as if the class believes that just loving Marinette enough will be the thing that ‘de-akumatizes’ her. “At least they wont let her anywhere near myself or Adrien.” Lila thinks bitterly as she gets her 5th warning that day that Lila might want to sit out the class going to the movies together with MARIONETTE.

During this time the class has been pulling off various ‘heists’ slowly going through each and every one of Marinette’s belongings to check if its the akumatized object. And I do mean every single belonging. Her sketchbook was ruled out within the first few days same with her signature earrings it was Kim who checked those and it involved a complicated plan involving taking Marinette swimming and having Kim fake a drowning in order to get close enough to ‘Marionette’ to check the studs. Luckily for Tikki, Ondine who was also at the pool decided to save Kim instead and the poor jock got quite flustered when the swimmer performed CPR on him.

Nino and the rest of the boys are the ones tasked with breaking into Marinette’s room while the girl is away on a sleepover with the girls. In order to ‘test’ each object in her room for the source of the akuma. They got a bit too loud and had to make a last minute escape when they heard Tom and Sabine going into fight mode. Poor Nino wasn’t fast enough and was forced to lie through his teeth that he’d been trying to surprise Marinette with a hangout like when they were little kids. [poor kid ended up drinking hot cocoa with Tom and Sabine as they showed off embarrassing baby pictures of Nino and Marinette together]

After about a month or so of shenanigans including a very embarrassing incident involving the entire class accidentally spying on Marinette’s first big date with Luka/Kagami/Felix/Damian [just pick one they are all great ships] and them getting caught red handed thanks to Alix and Kim roughhousing and making a scene at the nice restaurant. And another incident that Alya refers to only as the ‘duck incident’ [Nino can no longer be around birds or feathers] the class is no closer to learning where Marionette’s akumatized object is. And Lila Rossi who thought she’d be bathing in her victory is on the verge of screaming if one more person ignores her!

How does it end? Well maybe the class stage an intervention hoping they can free Marinette with the power of love only for Marinette to fall off of something laughing when she learns what Lila’s big lie was. Maybe Lila finally snaps and screams when she hears the class lament about POOR Marinette for the billionth time. Maybe the class try breaking absolutely everything Marinette owns, Maybe Juleka points out that its kind of weird that Marionette the akuma doesn’t really do... anything? And can change clothes? Can akuma’s do that? No right??? Aren’t their clothes like melded to their body??? Maybe the class finally get Adrien thinking he can ‘fix’ Marinette only for him to very confusedly tell them hes not dating Lila and has never kissed her and what Marinette akumatized??? Maybe The class recruit Luka and Kagami, Marinette’s other friends only for them to have a great laugh at the class before pointing out the literal mountain of things wrong with everything they just said.

Just fun shenanigans and ‘akumatized’ Marinette.

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[gffa]

So much of the criticism against the Jedi is stupid and I do not understand people who try to argue that they are the real bad guys at all. However, there are things I think they did wrong. I think they made mistakes and didn't handle certain situations in this best way. Would that mean I'm considered anti-Jedi or could I still be in the pro-Jedi part of the fandom?

Honestly, that's up to you to decide, not me. An unhelpful answer, I'm sorry. 😂 I might have my personal opinions on stuff, but I don't get to decide whether you're pro-Jedi or anti-Jedi, any more than someone gets to decide if I'm pro-Anakin or anti-Anakin, because I criticize some of the stuff he does. If you want my view on things, for me, what it comes down to (in a very, very broad sense, there are always going to be exceptions and each situation should be taken individually, etc.) is in whether there's empathy for the Jedi in the choices they made and why they made them. With me, I don't think joining the war was necessarily the right thing to do, for example. But I defend their choice because I'm not sure what other feasible choices there were when the Republic was set up the way it was (and wouldn't have allowed them to do whatever else they would have wanted) and when there were real lives in danger because the Separatists were murdering and enslaving people, because the Separatists were using people as living shields, because the Separatists were using bio-chemical warfare on worlds. That doesn't mean I think they were actually perfect angels descended from heaven to the mortal plane (much as I joke about it), but that I understand why they made the choice they did, given the limited options they had and can see why it would come across as the only choice, given what the Separatists were doing and who they were trying to protect. Or, like with Obi-Wan, I don't think his decision to keep Anakin in the dark about faking his death was necessarily the right decision, but I understand why I think he did it and I don't disagree with his reasons, especially considering that--from his point of view--the Chancellor's life was indeed on the line and Anakin telling that secret to people (as he is wont to do) could have cost both that life and Obi-Wan's own, if this wasn't a convincing operation. The above are just examples for me personally, not ones meant to start a discussion or anything, but instead to illustrate where I myself think being a pro-Jedi fan is--I have empathy for the choices made and the circumstances that brought about the decisions and the context of often times a lack of other feasible options that would have worked within the setting of the story. But that's my definition and it's not really up to me to declare you either pro or anti, certainly not when it comes to the broad strokes. As for what you're asking in the final bit, without knowing more specifics about you or your situation (and even then WHO KNOWS, PROBABLY NOT ME 😂), I may be off the mark with this, but from my personal experience, here's what I generally find happens: A bunch of Jedi-critical people tend to make a lot of passive aggressive comments about how pro-Jedi fans are annoying for their opinions or have no nuance or don't really understand Star Wars. A lot of pro-Jedi fans are tired of having a) constant, CONSTANT arguments on our posts (I get comments like this literally every single day and I try to mostly let them go, but after awhile it shuts down any urge I have to discuss things with any criticism because it goes nowhere and it keeps getting shoved onto me when I didn't ask for it, which, you know, fair enough, it's the internet, but also I am but one person and it's A Lot after awhile) and so we start drawing firmer lands in the sand because sometimes we just want to have fun celebrating or talking about our faves and yet we constantly get crap about it, in the way that, for example, a Luke Skywalker Is Pure Human Sunshine fan wouldn't. I have no problem with people who are 100% serious that Luke's never done anything wrong in his life! But if I'm going to hear people snidely saying, "Let! People! Have! Flaws!" about the Jedi well, it's hard not to see a double standard when I never see that being applied to Luke fans or Ahsoka fans. (And I don't think it should be applied to them, either!) Nor do I have a problem with people who have criticisms of the Jedi, because not everyone is like the above, I'm

friends with several chill people! I get along with them just fine! But, generally, they're people who respect others' boundaries, understand that arguing about fictional stories isn't more important than the actual person you're having a discussion with, understand that it's possible to disagree without thinking the other person doesn't ~understand~ Star Wars, understand that Jedi fans deal with a lot of shit in this hell fandom (we're not the only ones by any means, but we do get it) and maybe have a little extra care sometimes. I can't speak for any of the rest of fandom, aside from telling you my generalized observations and my own experiences. I can only tell you that, as long as you're kind to other fans, as long as you're willing to give them the same space that you are due in return, I think you can put yourself wherever you like in whatever section of fandom that you want!  (And, for what it’s worth, this comment didn’t ping my senses at all, so I suspect you’d be fine. 💕)

[jackassbroadcast]

Hello im a Tommy enthusiast who watched that one stream where he monologued to foolish for like hafe an hour bc i heard it was a cool stream or wtv to realize how much amazing character moments it had that barly anyone in this damn fandom is talking about so ill fucking do it

(Only after finishing this i realized i wrote 1.7k words LOL OOPS)

If u dont know what in talking about its this stream (apologies for linking a clips channel the actual vod on foolish's channel is deleted by now)

Also heads up /rp /dsmp every time i refer to someone here by name is their character unless stated otherwise bc writing c! Before every name Is tiring LOL

Also // suicidal idealization , death mentions

The conversation starts off with foolish and tommy mining for Wilbur, and foolish questions how simply mining will solve the problem to which Tommy reponds with "they dont get solved, do they? It just ends uo with some madman screaming 'Hes solved it!' And now look at him." And how he wants to "prevent the problem before it goes outta hand" something that clearly references Wilbur and his destruction of lmanburg, which paired with him collecting stone for Wilbur as the way to stop said problems he believes if he does anything he can for Wilbur and support him by his side enough this time around, that he wont do anything like thay again, which as im writing this makes be realize by doing that we learn hes blaming himself for what happened to Wilbur in November 16th and pogtopia and a whole, by not being enough for Wilbur in his mind.

The conversation continues, foolish off hand asks why would tommy want to stop Wilbur? Weren't they friends at some point? To which tommy leads foolish to lmanburg and tells him the story of the nation (how it was him and Wilbur's nation, how they made it to espace dream's iron fist and how they held an election "which puts your life on the line, which is good- if you're confident but- perhaps we were too confident", how they lost)

Tommy: "You know the phrase: 'treat other how you wanna be treated', foolish? People dont ever listen to it. Wilbur- he decided he wanted to be treated poorly so he treated everyone around him poorly "

This Tommy quote, to me at least, so so amazingly strong in conveying how understanding he is? To the world around him. Like-

I have not seen one person bring this quote up, and yet its (at least to me) shows such growth and understanding in Tommy i saw little to nothing like it in other streams. It shows he understands, he knew Wilbur didnt change just because, he knows he was struggling, that he thought everyone around him were againt him, were going to abandon him the first chance theyll get- and he thought he deserved it. So he, as a last way to defend himself against that, hurt them first, abandoned them first, so theyll see how much of a 'bad' person he was and take him out- and tommy saw right through that, possibly understanding it more after exile.

This next qoute was talked about much more but i still wanna bring it up

Foolish: "Do you believe in second chances?"

Tommy: "Oh, no I don't really believe that its not really a thing for me foolish its just that-" *sigh* "- i believe everyone has a little bit of good in then and this is not about giving him a second chance or a third chance- its not about *chances* foolish. Its about not giving up on the poeple you care about. "

Which. I mean. I dont know how healthy that mindset is, but comign from Tommy it makes so much sense.

Techno, tubbo, eret, sapnap. These are all people Tommy used to be extremely close to, had either a war or had been betrayed by them, and yet still found it in his heart that he still cares for them, with all of these, they did horrendous things, that hurt tommy physically and mentally, while also not being once or twice, but a contentious thing, but while tommy is to this day still effected by their actions he still found it in himself to forgive, because he knows he fucked up too, a lot, and he knoes they learned from their mistakes just as he had (except c!techno FUCKKK c!techno mf doesnt learn SHITTT) and he knows, when the time comes he knows hed want the people he hurt to forgive him too. (And he wants Wilbur to do the same)

Next qoute i will cut to a couple parts because its really so good and full of character i had to bro

Foolish: "Do you consider yourself to be the good guy or the bad guy?"

Tommy: "It really depends who you ask, isn't it? Yknow? If you asked dream he'd say im *his little toy that he plays with* you know? It doesnt.."

This part really stunned me when i first heard it because, and correct me If im wrong, but i dont think tommy ever acknowledged how dream sees him, and  how right he has his viewpoint too. Just the fact tommy is so *painfully* aware of how dream doesnt even see him as a person anymore but just a toy to mess around with for a while than just throw it away when it get too boring really hurt me. Someone give this kid a hug

(Continued) Tommy: "...foolish, honestly? I used to consider myself 'the good guy', you know? The fuckin'- second in command! But these past- these past like six months or so, foolish, everything got so much harder than it was before. Because before it was just us vs bad guys, it was all so clear! But- its not been 'clear' for so long, right? It wasn't; 'these are the bad guys! These are the good guys!' Now it's : 'he's doing this and it makes him a bit worse-' i mean, it all got so complicated, so- i don't know. Depends who you ask."

He says this, in response to foolish asking if hes a good guy- but its awfully similar to if Wilbur asked him if they were the bad guys. Because foolish just asked about him, and yet in his answer tommy made sure to keep using the words "us, he's, guys" as if hes not really talking about himself, as if hes explaining how Wilbur was wrong. Which he was. Also something interesting ive noticed, he says "the last 6 months or so", which indicated that with Wilbur he knew better to follow his word and leadership- with Wilbur he was always on the right side but when he lost him he felt much more lost alone, and couldn't trust himself enough to be on the "right side" .

Foolish: "I dont know, it all seems strange because just from, you know- hearing from others and, you know, learing a little bit, its seems like you've been the hero, you've been the villain, the conqueror, the savior, and, even now, i have no idea what you exactly are."

Tommy: "that's up to you to decide, isn't it? Im just- *uh*  i dont know. These days, foolish, I'm a little weaker than i used to be"

Foolish couldn't be more right with what he said, another example of this we see where a character acknowledges tommy never sticks to one thing us Charlie when calling him "tommy fron nowhere" which shows more how he cant stick to one thing, during the course of him on the server he had been friends and enemy with nearly everyone, been on pretty much all sides, and while never really intentionally, being in the center of conflict. When foolish says he doesnt know who tommy is anymroe at this point and all Tommy says in return is that "hes a little weaker than he used to be" does to show he misses who he used to be, with lmanburg, with Wilbur, when he knew who he was, now he doesn't know who he is anymore, but still so desperately want to be more demonstrated by the lines coming rigth after that one:

(Continued) Tommy: "..I'm not- I'm now who i want to be, but-"

Foolish: "Being honest with you, Tommy, that's the same case for me as well."

Tommy: "...heres the thing, foolish, unlike you i dont really have a choice. I have to try and be who i want to be, because if i dont, very bad things are gonna happen in this server. And now that Wilbur's back i can't- quite frankly *no one* can risk that. So i dont really have a choice."

Tommy want's to change- he wants to be better than he is now, to be closer to who he used to be, no matter how impossible that might be, but he also sees it as an immediate thing, he wants to change now, or asap, which is why hes collecting stone for Wilbur in the first place- old him would've done that with ease just because Wilbur asked and he wants to have that back so badly, asap. The way he talked about this reminded me of when he tried getting over his trauma stream before he went in the prison to kill dream: he knew he wasnt the best but he tried getting over that asap to go kill dream asap. He didnt wanna take the long road of years of healing and instead thought he could get over it just like that, and that experience clearly didnt teach him anything because now hes trying to slide back to the relationship he and Wilbur used to have and ignoring the drastic changes they both had plus the bad moments that were the reason they feel out in the first place, or maybe he knows, but at this point, after everything that happened to him and the server, he doesnt care anymore? He knows hes not the same he was and he'll never be the same, because thats not how it works, but his mentor, president, big brother is back after so long tommy felt so lost and alone he thinks maybe, this time around, with Wilbur, he could try and be better again.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 32

Happy Halloween to everyone! I hope that you enjoy this treat. Sorry this took so long to write out. This one took a few rewrites to get it where I wanted it to be.

Plus, Real life stuff got in the way So hopefully this will be a nice little treat for you all.

(Master Post)

__________________________________________________________________

Marinette watched in horror as she watched her best friend struggle on the floor.

She dashed to her side, and tried to help Alya get that weird mask off her face.

“By all means go right ahead. Its already too late.” Masquerade laughed as she watched Marinette struggle. “Soon enough she will be helping me take you down.”

The designer pushed the words of the psychotic akuma out of her mind. She refused to let her friend get turned into a mindless drone like before.

“It wont come off!” Marinette grunted as she tried so hard to remove it.

Masquerade watched her bracelet, waiting for a change to occur.

Alya’s muffled screams and frantic movements stopped.

“Alya?”

Marinette jumped up as she watched her friend transform, her casual clothes transformed into a familiar black and white costume. The Wi-Fi symbol on her chest. Lady Wifi has returned.

Masquerade’s bracelet gained a new charm, one looking reminiscent of a cell phone.

“And now she is my friend.” The villain stated as she watched Marinette start stepping away from the enslaved akuma.

“Alya… you need to fight it. You can’t let her control you.”

“Sorry Marinette, but Alya is unable to answer.” Masquerade mocked. “But I can take a message for you.”

Lady wifi stood silent, like an inactive robot, awaiting orders from its master. The inner machinations of the mind are not shown with the emotionless white mask covering her face.

Marinette turned her eyes toward the mask themed akuma, anger burning in her pupils.

“Let her go Lila. Let them all go before things get serious. Your plan will fail, Ladybug and Chat noir will arrive and beat the akuma out of you. Then you will have to answer for this too.”

Masquerade’s smile faded when she saw the fierce look. Marinette was not a sniveling mess, she actually looked even more defiant then before!

“Acting all high and mighty. I think I will enjoy turning you into my helpless puppet next.”

Masquerade lifted her hand towards Marinette, waiting to unmask her deepest secrets, and break her down.

“When I get a peek at what is hiding behind all of that fake courage, it will all come crashing down. Now let’s see your greatest secrets.”

Marinette looked around, trying to think of something. If Lila figured out her big secret, it was over. Ladybug would be exposed. She needed a way out, until she noticed something. Masquerade wasn’t doing anything.

“Huh?”

Marinette was perplexed by the akuma simply standing there.

“Ummm... are you going to do it now or...”

“Why can’t I see your secrets? My powers should allow me to see what you’re hiding and allow me to exploit it. It worked on everyone else I used it on, why not you?”

“Maybe I just don’t have any secrets to hide.” Marinette commented, watching with a bit of satisfaction as the akuma’s smug look shift.

Masquerade felt her frustration and anger boil at the comment. Something wasn’t adding up.

“Hawkmoth!” She cried out in rage.

A purple butterfly outline popped out.

“What is it?” The dark voice connected in her head.

“Why can’t I read Marinette’s secrets?” Masquerade angrily questioned.

“What?”

“Her secrets! I was able to zero in on everyone else I’ve used the ability on. Why does it not work on her!? Of all people I want this power to work on!”

Marinette felt both concerned and a bit flattered that she was the one Lila wanted to defeat the most. It was sort of mutual.

“Your power works on anyone I’ve akumatized, regardless of who it is.” The butterfly villain communicated. 

“So… your saying you didn’t akumatize her before? How is that possible?”

“I haven’t gotten to every single person in Paris.”

“You’ve akumatized that stupid pigeon man 26 times! How have you not gotten everyone!?”

“Paris is a big city, even if I akumatized someone every day, I doubt I would have hit 1/10th of the population. Besides, it takes strong negative emotions for me to send out an akuma. And that man seems to just be the easiest target for it. “ Hawkmoth defended himself. “Its not like I WANT to akumatize him every other day.”

“Unbelievable!”

“Just get the miraculous. That is your focus, the girl can wait for later.”

Masquerade’s butterfly outline dispelled as hawkmoth was finished with that conversation.

“Well that sucks. I guess I can just go back to plan A. Having you watch as I turn everyone against you... aren't here. What!”

Masquerade frantically looked around for the teen she had been antagonizing and found that she was no longer in the same spot. In fact, she was no longer in the office!

Marinette had decided to slip away from the akuma while she was having her little tantrum to the evil butterfly man.

“Why didn't you do something!” She shouted at Lady Wifi.

“You did not give me an order.” Lady Wifi answered robotically. 

Masquerade glared at the akuma servant. She would almost think it was rebelling against her.

“Even as a mindless servant you still find a way to ruin things.”

She looked around and noticed the other akuma in the room that was still on the floor.

“Dark Owl get up!”

The owl themed akuma got up from the floor. Removing parts of the broken pot from his costume.

Masquerade snapped her fingers. Catching the attention of Dark Owl and Lady Wifi. 

“Both of you, I want Marinette brought back to me right now! I want to make sure she stays quiet and sees everything we have set up. I don’t need her causing trouble.”

______________________________________________________________________

“…and that is everything.” A young woman said with a mixture of relief and excitement. She had finally finished setting everything up in the school infirmary. She had organized the files, restocked the bandages, changed the sheets on the resting cots, and put her personal decals on the desk. She was starting her first day as the school nurse, and things have been going up.

She put herself back out there and started dating Curtis, the sweet guy she met last week despite what would’ve normally been a deal breaking misunderstanding, she got into the med school program she wanted to get into and will be attending part time, and she managed to get a job at the school she went to when she went to Lycee.

She heard a ding from the front of the nurse’s office just as she was about to sit down.

“First student of the day. I better see what they need.”

She exited the small office area in the infirmary to see a blonde student who was clearly impatient

“What is taking so long!?” The teen shouted.

“Hello there. How can I help you?”

The blonde looked up a bit to see the nurses smile, she rolled her eyes.

“Who the hell are you? Isnt there supposed to be a different woman here?”

“If you are referring to the previous school nurse, she retired officially last week. I am the new school nurse. You can call me Nurse Angela.”

Angela never really liked using her last name, it made her sound old. So, she would be fine with the kids calling by her first name. It also helps with psychology, allowing more for a social dynamic based on mutual respect rather than authority.

“Whatever.”

Angela felt a twinge of frustration at the girl’s dismissal. But she kept her smile.

“And you are?”

The teen smirked.

“Chloé Bourgeous. And before you ask, yes, the daughter of the mayor.”

Angela felt a shiver go down her spine. She remembered from what the previous nurse told her. That Chloé was the mayor’s bratty daughter who would use her father’s influence to get anyone fired if she got angry enough.

‘That at least explains her rude attitude. She is a spoiled Brat.’

Angela was not going to let this bother her. She was going to take it in stride. She would be kind and courteous as she planned to be with any student at the Dupont.

“So, Chloé. What brings you here?”

Chloé walks in.

“My chair broke because someone sabotaged my chair. I ended up bruising my… anyway I need some ice, and anything to numb the pain.”

“My goodness! That sounds terrible. Who would do such a thing?”

“It was probably Marinette, that nasty little rat. Adding insult to injury now that she is dating Adrien.”

Nurse Angela moved to get some ice from the freezer for the bruised bottom of the Mayor’s daughter, listening to the girl vent. She was sure that whoever this Marinette girl was, probably didn’t do it. And if somehow, she did, it was likely because the annoying blonde deserved it. But that was not something Angela felt was worth mentioning. She kept that bit to herself.

“She is probably blackmailing my adrikins with something. There is no way he would be dating her without some sort of reason.”

“Is it possible that maybe he just likes her?” Angela inquired as she presented the bag of ice to Chloé.

Chloé looked at the nurse as if she had just told her that she had 3 eyes and a scorpion tail.

“Adrien liking Marinette?! That is ridiculous, Utterly ridiculous! There is no way that Adrien would…”

Chloé felt her mind flash through moments. Adrien and Marinette about to kiss for that movie, Adrien and Marinette dancing at her party? The photos she found of them running from fans, that kiss at the picnic during heroes’ day. Adrien taking Marinette to that interview instead of her… The stubborn blonde felt as if everything clicked into place.

“Chloé? Is everything okay?” The nurse called out, trying to get the spaced-out teen’s attention.

“He might actually LIKE her!”

Chloé felt her own skin crawl as she made her realization.

Angela didn’t know how to respond to this situation.

“I am going to straighten Adrien out right now! I am not going to let him make such a foolish mistake!”

The nurse could tell this could be bad if the mayor’s daughter was so heated, what if she got this innocent girl expelled? If she stood by and did nothing then her time at the school would be internally marked with the regret of not stopping such a potential disaster.

“Wait, Miss Bourgeois.”

Chloé stopped.

“What is it?”

“I… I just noticed that you’re limping. The injury might be more serious than you think. Let me have a look at it closer before you leave.”

The mayor’s daughter would simply have left without a second thought. But having a limp would make her walk much less dignified and lacking the power she needs to intimidate, but mainly that she would look lame with a limp.

“Alright, just make it quick.”

______________________________________________________________________________

“I don’t get why you felt the need to leave.” The cat kwami rolled his eyes. “If you want to be rebellious Adrien, we could leave the school and head to the movies. Though if we do, you should invite your girlfriend.”

“Plagg, this isn’t about rebellion or future date ideas. Something isn’t right with this whole situation. I just want to sneak a peek in the office, make sure Marinette and Alya get their story out, and then I am headed right back to class. No problem.” Adrien summarized as they kept walking.

Plagg noticed someone headed their way and went to hide in Adrien’s pocket.

Adrien took notice that it was his homeroom teacher. Perhaps he could ask her.

“Hey Ms.Bustier. Can I ask you a quick question?”

The red headed teacher walked past the teen without acknowledging his question. Her eyes focused on what was ahead.

“That’s weird… She would always stop to help a student.”

Adrien could feel that his favorite teacher may have been affected by something sinister.

“Ms.Bustier, can you hear me out for a second?” He asked as he touched her shoulder to try and get her attention.

The mirage of her appearance shifted from the homeroom teacher to the stylized patchwork costume of a familiar akuma enemy.

Adrien was surprised to see the true form of the imposter. The kiss zombie maker, Zombizou.

The akuma turned to show the face mask that hid her face. Her attention was now firmly on the boy, whether he wanted it or not.

Adrien backed away, nervously keeping his eyes on the teacher as he carefully backed up.

“You know, I think I will just ask someone else.”

Adrien took down the next hall running.

______________________________________________________________________

Masquerade reclined in her chair, her frustration was growing as she wondered what was taking those two minions she sent out to capture Marinette so long.

“They shouldn’t be having that much difficulty. She is just one person!”

She heard a ring, and knew her sentimonster was trying to contact her.

“What is it Simulare?”

“The illusion I had on Zombizou was broken. Someone is on to us, and the minion is in pursuit.”

Masquerade felt a headache forming. She didn’t have time for a wild goose chase. She needed to move on to phase two of her plan, making her army of akuma.

“Track down Marinette and this other  person that found out about Zombizou, keep them busy as long as possible. I am going to move on to phase two. Make sure no one is on to us.”

“Understood. I’ll get them back in the office and make sure neither of them escape.”

“Good”

Masquerade ended the call and felt her head ease a bit. The sentimonster she was given was obedient and competent. It was based on her mindset, so it would make sense that it would be capable of handling this problem.

“Now, let’s get that army.”

______________________________________________________________________________

“Give me a break.” Marinette muttered to herself.

She thought she would have time to transform once she escaped the office, but the two akuma were right out of the office before she had time to make sure everything was clear.

In her rush she cut a corner down a hallway and ended up colliding with another person.

“Ouch.” They cry out in unison, both looking to realize who they bumped into. Their faces turned to relief.

“Marinette!” “Adrien!”

The two called out in unison.

“Why are you running?” “Why are you running?”

“An akuma!” “An akuma!”

“An akuma?” “An akuma?”

They both look behind the other to notice the incoming akumas approaching them.

“As cute as this is, we need to go.”

Adrien Grabs Marinette’s Hand and they both head to the open area and try to get to the main entrance.

‘I need to get Adrien somewhere safe, then I can go transform into Ladybug.’ Marinette thought to herself, unaware that Adrien was thinking the same thing.

They make quick movements down hallway, moving up and down staircases to confuse their pursuers. They managed to give them the slip as the controlled akuma seemed to not be able of basic reasoning and quick fake outs and movements.

The two make their way down to what appeared to be the front of the school.

“The entrance!” Marinette called out. “Okay, we split up at the entrance and try to get help. They can’t catch us both.”

The run to the entrance only for them to stop short, colliding with some invisible wall.

It was only after making contact did the front entrance of the school shift back into a wall. The layout of the entire school seemed to shift instantly. The school had been put under an illusion to trick them into thinking they were escaping.

“It’s an illusion. Which means Lila must be involved with that group of akumas.” Adrien exclaimed.

“More like she is the cause. She is the one controlling the akumatized mask wearers. She got the Principal and Alya.”

“Wait, does this mean that Lila’s power is to make akuma!?”

“From what I saw, she can only akumatize people that have been akumatized before using her face masks. You haven’t been akumatized right?” Marinette questioned.

“No, and since she didn't get you, you haven't either right?”

“Yea, though I have had a few close calls.”

“So, if Lila’s power is akumatizing people, what akuma made this illusion on the school?”

“That would be me.” A third voice calls out.

The two turned to look and see a familiar fox themed villain smiling confidently.

“Volpina!”

“Not exactly.”

The Volpina impersonator looked around to see if the other akumatized servents were going to arrive.

“Seems you both are quite clever when it comes to annoying Mistress Masquerade.”

“Masquerade?”

“That’s what Lila’s calling herself.”

“Oh... cause of the masks.”

The villain rolls her eyes, encapsulating the personality of the arrogant volpina that it was pretending to be.

“Masquerade realizes that you two are both quite difficult to snag with mindless servants, so she requested I handle this.”

“No, you won’t.” Marinette grabs Adrien’s Hand and tries to run away only for the Faux Fox to flip in front of them

“Yea, I am not letting you out of my sight. Now be good and come along peacefully.”

Adrien moves in front of Marinette.

“Go, I’ll hold her off.”

“But…”

“Go. I trust you.” Adrien smiles as he looks to her for a moment.

Marinette wanted to stay and fight with him, but she knew that she needed to go and transform. Ladybug will be needed before this blows up.

“I’ll get help.”

Marinette runs away from the two as fast as she can. Adrien making sure to block the way should their foe get any ideas.

“She won’t get far, she will get captured before she even gets a chance.”

Adrien shook his head.

“You would be surprised with how just how amazing Marinette is.”

Marinette rushed out of sight and into the closest bathroom, quickly making sure it was a safe place to transform.

“Coast is clear. Time for Ladybug to step in.”

“Let’s hope we can get to Adrien in time before things get worse.” Tikki commented.

“Don't worry, I trust he’ll be okay. Tikki! Spots on!”

______________________________________________________________________________

“Can you believe it Juleka?” The peppy perfume enthusiast squealed. “Marinette and Adrien are finally an item.”

“Yes, I was there rose.” Juleka commented with an eye roll and a smile.

“I know! I am just so happy for them both.” Rose calms herself a bit. “Though… how will your brother take it?”

The purple haired teen reflected on the comment.

“It will be an adjustment, but I am sure Lulu will be fine once he gets a couple songs out of it.”

“I’ll be sure to be supportive.”

Juleka patted Rose’s head, smiling sweetly at the blonde’s caring attitude. She decided now would be a good time to spring that surprise on her. She was planning on showing her during lunch, but since Ms.Bustier wasn’t in class. Now would be the perfect time to show Rose the earrings she got her.

She casually reached into her bag, sliding her hand into her lunch bag, trying to find the earring box, only to notice it not there. Her hand moved frantically searching.

“Is something wrong?” Rose inquired, a bit of concern on her face.

“No, nothing. Nothing is wrong, just…” Juleka dismissed as she kept searching only to know for certain that her gift was not in there.

“Are you sure?”

“I just need do something really quick.”

She quickly grabbed her phone and calmly while hoping that her brother would see her text.

In her quick movement, she failed to notice the door of the classroom opening.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Psst, Luka. Luka!” A dark-haired teen whispered, trying to get the attention of the teal-tipped hair guitarist that was hiding his sleeping face with an open science book.”

“Hmm?” The tired teen responded with his eyes still closed. He was barely awake. He had been up all night working on that new song that was stuck in his head. He could still hear it playing in his thoughts as he tried to shake himself awake.

“Your phone vibrated, seemed important.”

“Oh, thanks Theo.” He moved his hand to take a look at his phone.

The science teacher was rambling on about molecules or something, clearly unaware of how disinterested everyone in the class was with his boring lecture.

Luka looked through to see a few text messages from his sister.

‘Hey, can you check your lunch to see if there is a jewelry box in there? Rose’s gift is in there.’

‘If you find it, can you swing by around your free period to bring it to me?’

Luka quickly snuck his hand into his backpack and sure enough he felt the small box. He was about to text a response. But stopped when he read the last two texts.

‘Sh*t there is an akuma in the class!’

Luka’s eyes shot open, his sister was in danger. Which also meant his band was also in danger. He needed to get there.

He shot up from his chair. And started making his way to the door.

“Mr.Couffaine, where do you think you’re going?”

“Family emergency.”

The science teacher was about to tell the young boy to wait until his parent calls, but he remembered who is mother was and what she did the last time he held up her kid when Anarke wanted to pick him up early. The teacher proceeded to held back his response.

“Proceed. Just be sure to get the notes from today’s lesson.”

Luka was out the door before the teacher could finish.

______________________________________________________________________

A car speeds down the road, the driver cursing to herself as she tries to move faster.

‘Get in, get Adrien, and get out before everything hits the fan.’

Nathalie mentally repeated to herself. She knows that pushing herself too hard was also dangerous. She couldn't risk feeling weak right now.

The driver slammed the break as she arrived at the school. She needed to hurry. She parked the car and opened the door.

“Lets hope that this akuma hasn't gotten to Adrien yet.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Ms. Bustier’s class had diverted all their attention to the costumed individual in the front of the classroom. The eerie masks that adorned her costume seemed to unsettle everyone.

Juleka put her phone away and joined in on what everyone was staring at

Alix was the one to say what was on everyone’s mind.

“Who the f*** are you?”

The akuma smirked.

“Excellent, a volunteer.”

Raising her hand and pointing towards Alix, her charm bracelet began to glow.

“Interesting, seems that you have quite a soft spot for cute things.”

The class turned to look at Alix with confusion.

Alix kept her cool.

“And? Is there a point?” Alix rolled her eyes, ignoring the akuma’s attempt to get under her skin. It would take more than that to actually do anything to her.

“You pretend you have this ‘Devil may care’ attitude, that you are too cool to care about what people think, but really you are more obsessed with how people perceive you than anyone else in here.”

Alix felt her smirk falter for a second.

“You are really sensitive about your height and anytime someone brings it up you are in a bad mood for the rest of the day. But what really gets to you is your ‘Family’. You hate how your brother is a laughing stock because of his crackpot theories and your greatest fear is that no matter how much you try to be this punk rebel, you will always be cast as ‘The Conspiracy nut’s sister’.”

“Shut up! You don’t know my life!” Alix yelled.

“Not so fun getting exposed, is it?”

The class realized immediately who this mysterious akuma was.

Masquerade smiled as she flung a mask right at the pink haired teen. Causing her to fall down. And struggle to get the mask off, but before anyone could help her. It was too late.

The class could only watch in horror as their classmate transformed into their Akuma persona. Before standing up.

The class tried to make a break for it. They knew full well the dangers of this new akuma.

“Timebreaker, guard the door.”

The akuma skated to the door and everyone jumped back. They knew that touching Timebreaker was not a good idea.

“Lila, this isn’t cool. Let Alix go.” Nino called out.

The Mask akuma shook her head.

“Lila is not a thing anymore. She was unmasked and dismissed. But now I have a new mask, I’m Masquerade. Soon enough, you will all be unmasked and given a new mask that better suits you. Alya knows that very well.”

Nino’s his eyes flared at the statement.

“What did you do to my girl?”

Masquerade pointed her hand at him just as her charm bracelet glowed, now with a rollerblade charm added to it.

“The same thing I am about to do to all of you.”

______________________________________________________________________

Will the rest of the class fall victim to Masquerade’s evil plan? Will Ladybug be able to save Adrien from the Sentimonster? Will Nathalie get to Adrien before its too late? Will I ever update consistently?

Fine out all these questions and more in the next part.

Thank you all for reading the most recent addition to Soulmate Survey.

Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter and if you really liked it. Reblog it. (Sharing is the only way my story actually gets out.) Plus, tagging has been kind of glitchy for me, so until that gets straightened out, I can't tag people for the story at the moment.

[got-any-references]

What are your fav beetlebabes headcanons? Also, love your stuff <3

Thank you <3. And thank you for the wait cause oh boy if I don’t answer this ask with a ridiculous amount of art how will I live?

*Digging out the dust covered manuscript that is my nonexistent Beetlebabes fic from under the floorboards* It’s showtime.

So...Lydia is the one who falls first. She is about 17 or 18 at the time, so this is very much an “I have a teen crush on someone I am not supposed to” type of deal. Honestly they fell in love with each other way before that but like, platonically 

Beej is...horribly oblivious XD. Honestly its for the best because Lydia spends the better part of her pre-college summer freaking about because any time her best friend walks in the door her heart wants to go bull-riding in her chest and if she actually has to confront her feelings she might just explode.

Then, just before Lydia was supposed to go away to college, Beetlejuice...disappears. He leaves a note, saying he’ll be back, but weeks turn into months, months turn into a year, and no one either in the living world or the netherworld has seen a hair of him. Lydia goes through college without really knowing what to do with herself, missing what was probably the closest person in her life. She graduates with a journalism degree and a minor in photography. She works for a newspaper as an investigative journalist before breaking off over less than great circumstances and going off on her own.

She’s 25 when she establishes herself as a pivate eye, with an enormous amount of anonymous sources being dead people. Also, this takes place in New York City.

(Yes she absolutely does exorcisms on the side).

She’s following a rather stange missing persons case when one of her sources points to a run down establishment that is 100% totally haunted. Except when she goes there she doesn’t find any ghosts, but rather

Beetlejuice. And he looks awful. And very much human.

Lydia: You look like hell.

Beej: Yeah, I just got back.

...

Beej: Also I’ma pass out now so you better catch me.

So he crashes at Lydia’s place, and the whole thing turns into solving the crime as well as Beej’s  mysterious aquirement of a beating heart and working lungs. He doesn’t remember how that’s happened, only now everything is Too Much with Too Many Feelings. Speaking of feelings, you bet your ass there is PINING. SO much pining. Lydia’s best friend comes back and suddenly those feelings she’d dismissed as a stupid teenage crush come FLOODING BACK. 

While Lydia’s internally feaking out over her feelings (it's totally normal and platonic to wanna kiss your best friend while he sleeps, right??), Beetlejuice is, you guessed it, totally oblivious! To his own feelings especially! All he knows is that it's his best friend only now she seems like a completely different person, and hot. She is now hot. His mad respect for Lydia makes him bury that thought deep, deep down. Also the whole marriage deal is a source on bad memories for both of them and he doesn’t wanna ruin the only good thing he’s ever had and-

Anyway, more pining:

Lydia’s feelings bring out resentment, too. She hates that Beej calls her kid, because that means he still sees her as one, and her ego and her desire for him make her want him to see her, the woman who's seen some real shit in the name of finding the truth, who can take care of herself, and who is very different from that angsty 15 year old girl on the roof. 

It all comes ahead to a big confrontation where Lydia is shot, and Beetlejuice has to drag her to the hospital without any knowledge of how human bodies work and he has no magic so he can’t help her-

The hospital needs to know his relationship to her when they take her away, and Beetlejuice knows they wont let him in unless he’s close family so he is blurts out: “Husband. Yeah, I’m her...husband.”

Lydia wakes up with a patched up hole in her side and Beetlejuice clinging to her hand. She’s happy she’s alive, but also angry, because she could have avoided all of this. She was competent enough to not need anyone to rescue her. 

She wants to get back on the case as soon as possible, she found the key lead, but Beej doesn’t wanna hear it, cause he saw way too much of her blood and he’s not big on how human bodies work, but he's pretty sure that shit’s supposed to stay inside. They’re arguing when the nurse comes in and adresses him as “Mr. Deetz.”

Lydia snatches the clipboard away, sees that he’s told them she’s his wife, and is livid. Because crush or not the wedding thing had a whole lot of baggage she does not want to unpack. She has to confront the fact that her feelings are for someone who manipulated her into marriage at 15 and who she’s not supposed to see in that way but she does anyway.

And Beej, a dumbass but also angry cause she almost died out of a stupid reckless mistake is like: "Why are you all mad? It was a green card thing. It's not like it means anything." And that gets Lyds even more upset, with him cause he's an idiot, and with herself because she's still pining for someone who, she thinks, still sees her as a child. 

Lyds, getting her coat: "Fuck off." 

BJ: "Kid-"

 Lydia: "Stop calling me that! I haven't been a child since my mother died. I haven't been a child since you showed up! I haven't been a child since I've started this, since I moved here, since the first asshole tried to kill me. I've been through literal hell and I've had to pull myself out of it all on my own because I was still here and you left."

There's a beat of silence as Lydia realizes what she just said. 

Lydia: "And that's fine. Because I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You taught me that, at least." She yanks her coat onto her shoulders and turns to go.

 BJ, quietly, but its clear he's angry: "Do you think I wanted to leave?" 

Lydia: "I don't know what you wanted. Do you even know what you wanted?" She pauses at the door, turns to him. "Do you know what you want, Betelgeuse?" 

BJ: "I-" 

He stops. He can't look her in the eye anymore. You. I want you. Lydia scoffs, turns to go. 

BJ: "Lydia, wait-" 

Lydia: "Fuck. Off."

She leaves, and he just stands there, floored by his too little too late realization. Lydia thinks the best thing to do after leaving the hospital with a bullet hole in her side and hopped up on painkillers is to go get drunk! Self-preservation? None

Beetlejuice finally finds her drunk off her ass and suddenly in a great mood. He grabs her under the arms like "Whelp. Time to go." 

Lydia: "Nooo come on-" 

BJ: "Aren't you on hospital drugs? Doesn't that shit kill you breathers if you mix it all up?" 

Lydia: ":D I stopped taking them :'D it hurts like a bitch." 

BJ: "I guess I have the shared braincell now. Okay, time to go."

He manages to get her in the car without incident, but when he gets in the driver's seat suddenly Lydia's all over him.

BJ, with a lap full of drunk Lydia: "What. What are you doing." 

Lydia: "Beeetlejuice." 

BJ: "Yeees?" 

Lydia, smiling all dopey as she cups his cheeks: "Beeetlejuuuice."

BJ: "What" 

Lydia's finger hovers over his nose, as if to boop him. He closes his eyes. And suddenly her lips are on his. She tastes like alcohol and hospital food and as she pulls away he can't think. Then she starts laughing. "Ha! Gotchaaa! Classic Bait and Switch!"

And he’s pissed.

BJ: "Ha. Ha. Good one, Lyds." 

He dumps her out of his lap and into the passenger seat. Lydia blinks in confusion. Now she's cold. She wants to ask, but her mental faculties aren't all with her at the moment. He drives them home and helps her up the stairs before dumping her onto her bed. "Well. Bye." Lydia scrambles up the bed. The car ride gave her enough time to be at least a bit sober, and everything before getting here is blurry. "Where are you going?" Beetlejuice turns around, the widest smile on his face. She's confused for a moment before she realizes he's vibrating with rage. "Ya said you want me gone? Great! You don't need me, you can do your weird little suicidal quest thing yourself!" Lydia looks lost. They had a fight but she'd rarely seen him this angry. "If its about the thing at the hospital, I didn't- I didn't mean it-"

Beetlejuice: "Really? You'd think you'd be glad to have me gone. Why would you want a creep like me around? The whole marriage thing didn't just disappear, after all! Great to know you can still pull one on me, huh?"

Lydia: "Pull what, Beetlejuice-"

She remembers, hazily, the car ride.

They stare at each other for a moment Beej is breathing heavily, he's not used to living person emotions, ones you can feel with your whole body instead of just as an abstract thing, but its clear he's holding back

Lydia: "I wasn't-" 

Beej: "You weren't what?"

 Lydia (quietly): "It wasn't a joke."

The angry grin slips off Beej's face. He suddenly looks very, very tired. She might have believed just now that he'd lived for millennia. 

 Beej: “Why are you doin' this, Lyds? Did you know the whole damn time? It's not like I was gonna do anything, I just thought- I just-”

Lydia suddenly realizes that they are having two different conversations. And something else. She looks away, trying to wrap her head around it, and Beetlejuice doesn't read it correctly. He turns to go. 

Lydia: “Wait!”

 She jumps off the bed, feeling the whole world tip over slightly, still drunk, and stumbled over to him. He catches her instinctively as she grips his forearms for support. 

Lydia: “Beej. Beej, look at me.” 

She takes his face in her hands, and turns it toward her. He looks so lost, like one word from her might actually break him. She'd only seen that look on his face once before, and she never wants to again.

Lydia takes a breath. 

Lydia: “Beetlejuice, I-”

Aaand then she throws up all over his shoes.

She doesn't quite remember what happened next, only that she was in the bathroom, leaning against the door, the toilet was flushed, she was sweating, and he wasn't there. 

Lydia: “Beej?” 

Beetlejuice (through the door): “...hi”

Lydia: “What-”

BJ: “-happened? Well, that's a story!” 

His voice sounds cheerful, but it’s shaking slightly 

BJ: “First ya threw up all over us both! then that little experiment of yours with mixing the meds went off, and you started babbling about...rocks? Then we got here, you heaved out the rest of your insides, and then ya kicked me out and said you were gonna shower, and now we're sitting here, so, yeah”

Lydia: “...Are you still covered in puke?” 

BJ:”...yeah”

Lydia: “...sorry?” 

BJ: “Pshh, what's a best friend if ya can't throw up on 'im a couple times.”

They both fall silent

Beetlejuice (quietly): “Lyds, do ya still want me here?”

...

 Lydia takes the time to find the words. Want him here? After everything, he was still asking that question. Did he still think, after all this time, that she'd throw him out at the smallest inconvenience? Would he ever stop thinking that way? Why did he think so now? Was it because he- Because he-

Lydia: “I love you.”

The other side of the door is silent. 

Lydia: “I love your stupid laugh. You sound like a fucking cartoon villain, its so fucking obnoxious. I love your jokes, all of them, even the shitty ones- you always look so god damn proud when you say them.”

Is she crying? She tries to wipe at her face, but the tears keep coming. 

Lydia: “I loved you since that last day on the roof, and when you left-” 

Her throat closes up. She chokes back on her tears, she has to finish it, he has to hear it. 

Lydia: “When you left I thought I might die again.” 

Lydia: “I kept seeing things, dumb branding on cereal boxes, that shitty college play I went to, my first client, and I kept thinking aw, Beej would have a field day with this one. I thought about what you'd say. You were like a voice I couldn't scrape out of my head, I thought I was going crazy, I thought I'd imagined it all, some lonely little girl with no life or friends, needing someone to talk to- But you'd been real, and then you were just gone- “

The words dissolve in her throat as she sobs, pulling her knees up to her chest. She feels like a child now. She feels more childlike than she had at 15. She’s clinging to a scrap of hope she doesn’t have a right to demand from him. And yet he'd said- 

Lydia: “I love you. Please, don't leave.”

They sit is silence for a while. Lydia tries to stop crying. Then, quietly from the other side of the door:

BJ: “You know what I thought when I first saw you?”

Lydia: “Here’s a suicidal teen haha what a riot?”

BJ: “What? No, not then. Like now.”

Lydia: “Oh. What?”

BJ: “I thought wow, who the hell is that and why is she so dang hot?”

Lydia laughs.

BJ: “And then I thought oh God that’s Lydia.”

Something in his voice makes her pause. Maybe it’s the strange fear that she feels coming from him.

BJ: “It’s like, you’re Lydia, and I don’t know shit about you! You’re the same person, but you’re a stranger to me. Lyds, do you know how fucking terrifying that is? You’re someone I never got to know because of a shitty decision I don’t even remember making.”

he falls silent. She can hear the pain in his voice. And something else. Longing. 

Beetlejuice: “I’d like to.”

Lydia opens the door. Beetlejuice scrables up, only for her to throw her arms around him. 

They figure it out. It’s a slowburn 200k fic that I’ll never write so it takes a while for them to actually kiss, or do anything more, but they get there. 

This turned out...ridiculously long XD. I don’t know what you meant by “headcanons”, exactly, but have this instead.

Thanks for the ask! 

[itsmeanyango]

THE SUN IN VIRGO IN THE HOUSES(SUN TRANSIT IN THE HOUSES)

So incase you guys don't know, the sun is malefic and that's what we are going to talk about on the last day of Leo season which is Sunday and the Sun is Leos ruling planet.

Virgo season starts tomorrow and this is what you need to know.

Virgo is a dual sign, the M and the fish at the tail. To me, it means Mother (the M) and child(the fish). Virgo represents facts and order. The Sun is how you see yourself. Most of the things I mention below are going to be your own doing.

If this does not resonate with you its okay, this is a general interpretation which has not taken into consideration every single persons birth chart. But these are the themes you are bound to meet.

I will expound more on my Patreon, join to support me. Thank you in advance.

The first house is the house of first impressions. Virgo in the first house means you come off as very orderly and well put together. The Sun transiting Virgo first house means people may see you as the person with facts and very organized during Virgo season(when the sun is in Virgo). The sun will be highlighting you in peoples eyes. You may feel like everyone has got their eyes on you, they probably do because you are acting jittery. If you make a mistake, everyone will know(or in your head you will convince yourself that everyone knows). If you do something good even if you are unaware of it, it wont go unnoticed. You may feel heavily scrutinized by the public or be in a place where everyone is checking your work ethic. Peoples expectations of you may feel like your hand is in fire but you can't remove it.

The second house is the house of your money and survival needs. The sun transiting Virgo in the second house may mean if you are not organized then all your sources of income or survival will be burnt and you will have nothing left. Always save up and in different accounts! I bet people who had this transit before the pandemic began found themselves spending a lot of money or losing money. They may have also had a boost but failed to save so when the pandemic was made official in the news, they were struggling!

The third house is the house of communication. The Sun transiting third house Virgo means your communication may be taken the wrong way. Virgo is ruled by Mercury, Mercury rules communication and is in this house. Virgo as mentioned is a dual sign! What you intend to say may not be received but instead the opposite will. Be very very clear in communication, do not use ambiguity and do not leave room for guesswork! We are in a very digital age! If you are not clear with your communication get what will happen to you online? Your image will be tarnished, burned!

The fourth house is the house of roots, it also represents home. Everyone has their own definition of home. Sun transiting Virgo in the fourth house means you need to be careful making a home purchase if you have this transit as you may get scammed! You may also fail to follow all the procedures for the purchase. You may still buy the home but fail to notice certain things and now your dream of owning a beautiful home is burned! You may also burn very important bridges or have important bridges burnt that are related to your roots due to the discovery of certain factual information. This house is ruled by Cancer(a water sign), so you better check the drainage and water supply in the area you want to purchase a house/home in. Also find out the rains in the area because they might just sweep your house away. You may want to avoid having a house in a valley or near a water body.

The fifth house is the house of romance, love affairs, fertility and self expression. The Sun transiting Virgo in the fifth house means that you may find yourself nitpicking on matters related to this house. You may be doing everything robotically or 'scientifically'. You may act like you have OCD when it comes to dealing with the matters of this house. Rest, don't be so calculative.

The sixth house is the house of health, fitness and organization(order). This is Virgos house. The Sun transiting a Virgo sixth house means that your schedules will be on fire. You may put too much on your plate or insist that you must change your whole life in this month because you want to become a better you. You want to rush the process. So you enroll yourself into gym, you create a packed daily schedule that you force yourself to follow from morning till bed time, you change your diet or suddenly change your routines. Burnout will catch up with you and you may end up spiraling backward. Unless you have an intercepted house, Virgo sixth house means you have a Libra seventh house. If we look at it the Sun transit way, you won't be able to regain balance. You may start overcompensating. However, you probably have another planet in your seventh house which may be beneficial to you. Take things one step at a time.

The seventh house is the house of Relationships and contracts. All types of relationships and not just romantic. The Sun transiting a Virgo 7th house means you need to be very careful of the contracts you sign and relationships you get into because they have the potential to burn you or you them. Use facts and not assumptions or first impressions that look good. First impressions of the matters in this house may be very attractive like gold they end up blinding you.

The eighth house is the house of merging. Anything that is joint is here. Joint is also shared. So whatever you have joint ownership, CUSTODY or partnership of is under highlight over here. The Sun transiting Virgo eighth house may mean: Please keep your legal documents very safe away from fire and water! If you have any critical information as a softcopy, back it up and back it up and back it up more! Keep records!!!!! These records will save you when you are about to be drowned(the 8th house is a water house) in boiling(Sun) water! Triple check your documents, do not let just anyone see them because you never know who wants to get you. The most innocent of souls could be the one to get you! Like your child may accidentally spoil your computer/phone/USB stick/external storage. Be careful around water. Keep your hardcopy documents in waterproof packaging.

The ninth house is the house of travel, higher learning, ethics, and critical/fast thinking. The sun transit ninth house Virgo means you need to have the right documents on matters related to this house. If you have many or any assignments to submit at school, do them very well. No plagiarism at all, this assignments can either break or make your life during this transit. Double check your travel documents especially your covid tests and certificates. Ensure you have carried them when travelling. If you are applying to schools(University mostly), please please check the percentage of OPEN SOURCES THE SCHOOL OFFERS otherwise when doing your thesis you will have a very very difficult time. If possible, visit the school environment and see if it is worth it, some school environments are tough especially for students who will be looking for housing near school. Research on the countries you want to visit, please stop going to countries where minorities are suffering because of tourists due to increase spread of the virus and pollution. Be kind. Find out if your ethics are really ethical, you may be very oppressive with your ethics.

The tenth house also called Medium Coeli(MC) or Midheaven, is the house of career, long term goals, structure, experts and father. The Sun transiting Virgo tenth house means someone may be excited to become a dad. Someone might be looking into paternity because they either feel skeptical that the child they are raising is not theirs or their father is not their biological dad as they have been made to believe. I like saying that the tenth house is what they mean by 'things that have been put together in heaven, no man can put asunder', so do not force things or interfere with things in this house. Just do your part and leave the rest otherwise you will be wasting your time and energy. During this transit you may feel like everything is falling into place but you may need to think twice. Virgo is facts and order, do you really have the facts or you think you do and you are just going with it? You may be thinking that things are meant to be, everything may be looking real good right now or real harsh right now when they aren't. Go back to the drawing board and check that your facts are not twisted.

The eleventh house is the house of groups, friends, humanitarianism, technology and the future. The Sun transiting Virgo eleventh house may mean your social circles and activities need vetting. Do you really know these people or do you think you know them? For some, you may not even need to do the evaluation because things will happen in your life that shows you who these people really are. You will need to be very specific about any pieces of technology you buy during this transit, research on it. Then go to reputational shops to buy and not just anywhere that claims to sell. CHECK AND KEEP THE WARANTY. Scan and print receipts because they fade, scan and print the warranty too. Keep soft copies of the warranty and receipts. Take a video of you unboxing the technology so you can catch any damages on camera and return it with proof that it was not your mishandling(this is if the business delivered it to you otherwise they can say you damaged it while transporting it). Check that your anti virus(not those free ones, they are fake. Buy a legit anti virus) is up to date and you do not have any security threats. If you love yourself, please stop clicking ads, stop allowing people to plug anything into your PC, TURN OFF BLUETOOTH DISCOVERABILITY, stop using public WIFI and please close all tabs and running apps when on zoom (or any other such platform)because when you share screen you may not know that your information is out for everyone to see-some of which may be very sensitive-. How humanitarian are you? And do you do things humanitarian in a human way or analytical way just because its what needs/has to be done? You may need to significantly drop the statistics and analytical things when dealing with people face to face. What is your plan for the future? Revisit it and make the necessary changes. If you have none, start writing down one.

The twelfth house is the house of endings, spirituality, dreams and the subconscious. The Sun transit Virgo twelfth house may mean that you need to have detailed end of life plans, pay for them now or start saving up for them now. It doesn't matter if you are just 18, start. What do you need to let go of? Your sick relative who is willing to go but waiting for you to let go of them? A friendship? A job? A house? Unhealthy eating habits? Unhealthy coping mechanisms? Several things you are hoarding? Write down things that need letting go of then start letting go of them bit by bit this month. Have you been doing things subconsciously? Start recording them, you may need to see something. Like a pattern which may be as a result of trauma or your instincts getting stronger or something else. You may need to stop looking at spirituality like a science experiment. You may not find the facts you are looking for but it does not mean people who are spiritual are lost. You may however, find that some things just do not make sense because they conflict each other. Someone may be starting to learn something spiritual. Your dreams, write the down even if they do not make sense.

These are the messages I am able to channel, I have been writing for over an hour. It is 20.22(which is cumulative numerology 6 and Virgo is the 6th Zodiac sign) EAT right now. I have written this through two Horas! I hope this helped.

[whataboutmyfries]

Russian Roulette

Okay, okay. I am fully aware that it has been an absolute AGE since the last chapter but Life(tm) got in the way of this one and I'm so sorry it's getting to you so late.

Additionally, I hope you guys are aware that minimal editing has happened here.

@lumosinlove thank you so much for letting us mess around with your characters!!

~

Chapter 5

Logan slammed another cup of coffee to the table, running a hand through his already dishevelled hair. “Shit,” he breathed. “This is….this is probably enough for us to completely wreck their operation”

Finn leaned further back in his chair, blinking at the stacks of paper spilling onto the desk; about as much surprise as he’d show in front of Leo. “It is.”

Leo looked utterly unfazed as he sipped from his cup, closing his eyes at the feeling of the hot caffeine sliding down his throat. He rubbed at his eye, fixing the other one on Finn, then on Logan. “Will you do it then?”

Logan and Finn exchanged a glance. “I think you already know the answer to that.”

Leo studied the two of them before dipping his head in a nod of thanks. His voice was hoarse when he spoke again. “Thank you. For all of this.”

Finn waved him off, taking a long sip from his coffee. “Mm, I was wondering if you’d ever come around and show us that brilliant magic of yours.”

Logan laughed. “Forget magic. How would you feel about a game of cards?”

Leo’s eyes glittered “oh darlin’, I’m going to beat your asses.”

And damn if Leo didn’t deliver on his promises. An hour later, the three of them were sat around the table, staring intently at the cards spread over the wood. Finn tossed his knife, the blade making complicated swirls around his fingers as he caught it.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that to win nutty.” He chuckled; not even turning his head as he threw the knife at the dartboard.

Leo didn’t have to look up from his cards to know it’d hit the bullseye.

“Remind me again, which one of us is the magician here?” Leo drawled, eyes twinkling with mischief as he threw down his card.

Logan and Finn groaned, slapping down their cards in exasperation. Leo had won. Again.

“How does he do it?” Logan groused, pouting at the table, pulling one of Finn’s knives free of the wood.

Leo laughed, reaching behind Logan’s ear. And with a complicated twirl of his fingers, he unfurled a fan of cards

Piercing blue eyes looked over the top of the cards and Leo winked at the both of them.

“Magic.”

~

Three am found them sprawled around the room fast asleep. Mugs and cups and pots of coffee on every imaginable surface, papers spilling onto the floor. Leo blinked his eyes open to warm sunlight, shoving his face off the desk. Disoriented, he blinked his eyes frantically, trying to make sense of his surroundings. His eyes landed on a halo of red, and the memories of the previous night came back to him; only to immediately be ignored in favour of the beautiful boy in front of him. Finn’s head leaned back against the couch, exposing the column of his throat, the freckles there mapping constellations onto the creamy skin. Leo wondered if maybe Finn would ever let him trail shapes into those stars; if he tried hard enough, Leo was sure he could trace a wonky version of his namesake onto the alabaster skin. Unable to help himself, his eyes trailed upwards, crimson eyelashes fluttering against high cheekbones like trapped birds searching for a freedom he wasn’t sure he could offer.

He ripped his eyes away, his traitorous heart beating furiously against his ribs. It proved an even bigger mistake to look away because his eyes found smooth tan skin instead. Logan was almost devastating in his beauty when he slept, Chocolate-y hair shimmering in the early light. Sunshine dripping like honey from aristocratic cheekbones and hazel curls. Leo’s thoughts went into overdrive, his brain offering him vague snippets of poetry and literature in a futile attempt to describe the beauty of gods. The sunlight threw shadows across their faces, casting them in stark relief, and Leo’s heart all but crawled out of him to repent.

His heart was beating so loud it honestly surprised him that the two of them hadn’t awoken. This was a mistake. He never should’ve come here, let alone stay the night. Cursing his idiocy, he got up on cat-soft feet and gathered his things, chiding himself for letting down his guard so easy. He saw himself out, sparing one last look for the ethereal beings asleep on the couch. And as Leo let the door fall shut; he failed to realise that he’d been so caught up in cursing his mistakes; he hadn’t noticed hazel eyes trailing him on his way out.

~

Logan— on the other hand— woke to Finn’s feet sliding out of his lap. He knew he was home. He was safe. The syrupy darkness of sleep pulled him back under. Finn woke him again with a hand to his shoulder, the distinctive smell of coffee taking over his senses. Still drowsy, he grinned, a hum rumbling through him. Finn laughed, ruffling his hair.

“I don’t remember adopting a cat, but I can’t say I dislike it.”

Logan shoved at his knee with a socked foot, grumbling incoherently, though the smile on his face rather took away from it.

“Shhhhh it’s too early for your stupid face.”

“So no coffee for you then? More for me I guess”

“Touch my coffee and I’ll punch you”

“Oh shut up, you like my face too much to punch me.”

Logan blinked one eye open. “Who said I was punching you in the face?”

Finn laughed, nudging Logan’s cup closer to him. “Touche.”

Logan took the mug, nursing the warmth of the ceramic between his palms. “You know, that may be the only french thing that sounds halfway decent in that accent of yours.”

Finn flipped him off over the rim of his mug, drinking deeply. “Drink your sugar crash and leave me alone.”

Logan raised an eyebrow “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

“It is the sole cause of diabetes in this world and I am willing to die on this hill.”

Logan huffed, shoving papers out from under him so he could shift his feet up onto the couch. The events of the previous night still weighed on him. Lizard had given them….everything. Every detail, every nook and cranny of the snake house was documented. He’d left no stone unturned.

And he’d lost everything, anyway.

“Harz, he’s given us everything we were looking for.”

Finn nodded, “He did, didn’t he?” He gave Logan a look. “What do you want to do about it?”

Logan shrugged a shoulder, staring absently out the window. “We said we’d help.”

“You know you don’t have to follow through, you don’t want to do it, we don’t do it.”

Logan met his gaze, Finn’s sharp edges smoothed into something softer by the early sun. “I want to. It just…..” He trailed off with a vague gesture.

Finn hummed. “I think I know what you mean. But, Lo, we don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do, okay? The second you want to drop it and leave, we leave, yeah?”

Logan swallowed past the lump that formed in his throat. His chest full to the brim with a feeling he’d come to describe simply as ‘Finn’. It was ephemeral and fleeting but felt like warmth; it felt like coming home. It was the feeling of waking up to find a blanket thrown over you, the feeling of a mug of steaming cocoa pressed into your hands on a bad day, the feeling of sunshine after tumultuous storms. It was the feeling of Finn, joyful and constant and forever ready with a bright smile or dry wit.

Logan smiled at his friend, shoving at Finn’s knee with his foot. “Awww, look at that. You might care about me after all.”

Finn shot him a look, the only warning he gave Logan before tackling him to the couch. Logan let out a somewhat aborted choke-squeal as he fought to get Finn off of him, wrestling his tickling fingers away from him. Logan cackled when Finn yelped overbalancing and falling onto the carpet—followed shortly by Logan, who had been too busy laughing to notice that Finn had grabbed him in a desperate attempt to stop his fall. They both lay on the floor, gasping for breath between peals of laughter, shoving at each other playfully.

Finn let his head drop to a side, catching Logan’s gaze. “You know…..It’s not like we have much to do today….”

Logan grinned “Ice cream and movies all day?”

“You know it.”

~

To put it quite simply, Leo’s brain refused to leave him alone. His smile was more facade than anything else, his beloved cards feeling clumsy and distracting in his hands. His train of thought had derailed almost an hour ago, his body running completely on autopilot as we walked the streets of Gryffindor.

They’d said yes. They’d said yes, and now Leo was going to be working with them. For a considerable amount of time. He couldn’t afford to throw something like this away on some fickle feeling, much less fickle feelings for a mob boss of all people. There was too much at stake.

Leo revealed the card in his hand with a flourish, the gasps of the people around him little more than background noise as he slipped through the crowd, surreptitiously pocketing a couple of fifties he certainly didn’t have before. He strolled unnoticed through the city, checking his watch as he went. He was early. good. He slowed his pace, watching passers-by go about their lives as he marvelled at the busy streets. It never stopped amazing him; the fervour that filled the city. Every street and bend so rife with potential, the possibility of wonderful things just itching to happen.

Like anyone else, Leo was wont to miss his home, the sprawling fields and endless forest of the countryside, but there was nothing quite like Gryffindor, with its skyscrapers shoved next to beggarly hovels and the hum of activity and excitement haunting every corner.

As his thoughts wandered through the city, his feet carried him to a familiar street lined with cafes and charming little stores. He ducked into one of them— a quaint bookshop, the well-worn sign hanging at the door proclaiming its availability to its patrons. The tiny bell above the door announced his arrival, the chime sounding through the magical place.

Leo had always thought that walking into Moony’s was like stepping through a portal to another world. Most bookstores were organised, neat. Books lined from A-Z subject to subject. Not Moony’s. Moony’s was a labyrinth. An explosion of literature and colour and homely comfort in every direction. Books covered every imaginable surface in the store, the shelves full to bursting. Haphazard piles of literature graced the floor, leaning against potted plants and comfy little armchairs scattered across the place. The books were stacked layers deep, some piles reaching as far as the ceiling, teetering precariously alongside narrow walkways. Leo loved it. The smell of tea and well-loved paper wrapped around him like a blanket as he walked to the checkout. An indignant meow drew his attention to the plush armchair, the stacks of books leaning against its arms fashioning it into something of a floral throne.

“Cheshire! How are you, you stinky little muffin?” Leo cooed, scooping up the ball of fur that had taken up residence on the chair. The cat in question purred happily, head butting Leo’s hand demanding head scratches. The blond laughed, indulging the cat and dropping a kiss onto his fuzzy little nose as he walked to the front of the store. A head full of tawny curls shuffled around under the till, clearly looking for something underneath.

“Found that treasure you’re looking for, Loops?”

Remus jumped, standing up with a smile, nearly knocking his head on the counter in the process.

“Missed me enough to come in early today?”

Leo snorted. “You wish. No, I just finished up quicker today.”

Remus raised a brow. “Sure you did. What’s bothering you Nutty? Tell me things.”

Leo’s chest warmed with affection. He sighed deeply; the singular breath seeming to take some pressure off his bones.

“You remember what went down with Pascal a while ago?”

Remus nodded.

“And that I went to the Lions for help like he said?”

Another nod.

Leo took a deep breath. “Well, they said yes.”

[tomatada-witch]

Thanks so much for the reading!!!

The reading resonates with what other readers have said before, the outcome of the relationship is true jdndjdj many said that this person will come and help me in my life and help me to become more organised! As for their personality, this resonates a lot too, it's good to know that he will be an active type of person because sometimes I am really lazy and have nothing to do so I think this person will bring some excitement into my life lol. For the second q, a lot of pac readings that I have chosen said that I might meet my future spouse at a low point of their life or we will both meet after hard times so this resonates too. I dont really know about the job one because I havnt asked for their possible profession yet but judging from this person caring personality I wont doubt if they will work in something to help people. For the ps, I find it to be very accurate! I dont mean to be annoying or anything but you have said in the reading 4 of wands instead of 4 of swords I wonder if this affects anything ?

Again thanks for the reading, you are really sweet 💝💝💃🏻. Have a good day! Sorry if this had grammars or typing errors I wrote it so fast jendjkskkd.

HAA! I am really glad it resonated with you, it means a lot to me! And HAA I am so happy with your review!!! IF you ever need it again I will be more than glad to read!! About the 4 of wands that was a complete typo mistake on my behalf! I am so sorry, It's the 4 of swords that I have read for you so the description is accurate but the name I mistook it! So thank you for questioning this! Never be afraid to question your reading! Sometimes we just make mistakes and I appreciate you pointing it out Again thank you for your kind words I mean it ;; AND SHH It's ok about the grammar,,,, I am not an English native so Honestly I don't mind at all!! As long as we understand each other is fine!! See you in a next reading maybe and stay safe!!!! 🐧Kapuff!! Witch out! 🐧

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH22

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4, 225

- Author Note: I have been busy working from home :< apparently third wave of virus really hit us hard here, stay safe everyone xx

Previous | Next

Chapter 22 

“What should I wear” Seul rummaged through her closet finding a perfect outfit for her to wear to this so-called date with Yoong. “First of all, why should I pay attention on my outfit? It is just Min Yoongi. Doesn’t mean he is going to show up” she plopped on her bed with sour face.

“It couldn’t be a prank, right? Is he planning to embarrass me?” Seul talked to herself letting out a dramatic gasp in process.

“So, you have a date with Yoongi” her mother voice spooked her a little, causing her to sit up immediately. Mrs Hwang was leaning against the door with a teasing smile on her face. She made her way inside taking a seat beside her daughter “When is the date?” Seul turned crimson red.

“It is not like what you think. He asked me to accompany him to do this stupid bungee jumping” she scowled in annoyance “And it is random” Mrs Hwang gave her hand a soft pat. “Once in a while I’m glad you are living the life like a normal girl at your age” her mother smiled affectionately.

“Living the life like a normal girl at my age, yes. But not with Yoongi” she sassed earning a soft chuckle from the older woman. Seul’s eyes scanned the clothes scattered on her bed trying to spot the best outfit to wear, but it failed her again. Groaning in frustration, she turned to face Mrs Hwang “If I wear this white blouse and skirt, I am not overdressing myself, right?” chewing her lower lips, Seul hoped her mother could be a great help.

As Mrs Hwang soothed the soft fabric, she shot her daughter a bewildered look “Who wears skirt to bungee jumping? You got to be kidding me Seul” realizing her mistake, Seul slapped her forehead scolding her short-minded thinking. Why was she acted all silly today? Was it because of Yoongi? Not this issue again, she had enough.

The older woman pulled out blue skinny jeans underneath piles of clothes and handed it to Seul “Wear this with that blouse you picked earlier, don’t forget to bring your jacket. It is still cold outside” beaming cheerfully, her heavy breathing normalizes. She had no idea choosing an outfit to go out with Yoongi would be this hard, alright maybe she’s the one who complicate things.

“Mind to tell me, what happen between you and the boys? To be exact, Yoongi. You two seem friendly” her expression was unreadable, not even Seul could read what’s on her mind.

“Nothing much, we become friends. The boys are friendly and relatable. I like having them as my friend. As for Yoongi and I, do not have any weird idea because we both are just frenemy? We are not even friend or that is what I thought” her confident level deflated at the thought of Yoongi.

Mrs Hwang eyed her girl with a disapproval look. She was sure there’s more of the story that Seul tried to hide from her. This girl had been showing her resentment towards Yoongi since day one making it appeared suspicious to her.

“Mom, don’t you think Yoongi is a complicated man?” the question had been playing in her head for quite some time, it was matter of time to express it aloud.

“He is a complicated man. But he has the softest heart of all. Seul, Yoongi-ah has been going through a lot of thing in his life. Are you aware that he had depression before?” Seul’s eyes widened in pure shock. It never occurred to her a rough man like Yoongi would have that kind of illness because from her eyes, Yoongi has the strongest character in comparison to others.

“How is it possible? He looks fine to me..I mean…from the way he acted around me, he looks quite strong” she murmured.

Mrs Hwang shook her head “He appears to be strong, but he is a broken young man inside. He too has insecurity. Never trust what they show to you. It is how they mask themselves. What I am trying to say, try to see the other side of them instead of judging how they acted around you. Those boys are still kids to me. Poor kids to experience such thing at this age” she sighed deeply.

Seul forced herself to smile yet it came out bland “It must be hard to live their life as celebrity” she empathized them.

“It is not easy. The only reason why I insist on preparing meals for them because out of all things happen in their life only that makes them feel normal. They work hard all day, shielding their pain and tiredness from the world to chase their dreams. Those boys deserve to be treated like some normal boys, who crave for normal life” her mother’s words got Seul to reflect her attitude towards them back then. She felt small and disgusted of herself. How could she be selfless and refuse to see other point of view? She is not the only one with issues and problems, there are other people outside have awful fate as compared to her.

Her mother stroked the top of her hand and flashed a motherly smile “Do not be too hard on them and yourself. Serious relationship can wait, as for now focus on what makes you happy. Don’t feel burdened by it” her eyes were brimming with tears now. Mrs Hwang could read her like an open book without she needed to tell her everything that had been haunting her these days.

“Aw, why are you crying?” she cupped Seul cheeks, stroking away the tears that started to stream down wetting her cheeks. Seul chuckled softly “Thank you, mom. You are the best” pulling the love of her heart into a tight embrace.  

Will it be harmful to follow the flow of life?

What if someone gets hurt in the end?

What if she needs to make a choice?

Seul shuddered at the though of making a choice when she was not sure of her own feelings.

Bad move, Ji Seul.

 ------------------

Tapping her feet anxiously, Seul was getting annoyed of waiting. The more she anticipated Yoongi’s face to appear before her, the slower the time moved. It was 5PM and he was nowhere to be seen. Not even a text from him, Yoongi stood her up for sure. She shouldn’t have trusted that guy. Grumpy Seul decided to leave the scene before she made fool of herself. Hugging her jacket close to her body to seek warmth, she stood up from where she sat and left the area.

Sound of heavy footsteps behind her along with faint hollered put her steps at halt. Turning her heels to the source of the voice, she was greeted by the image of Yoongi sprinting for his life towards her direction. Eyeing the guy carefully, Seul grew concern “Yoongi are you alright?” he held his palm out while panting heavily.

The weather was cold, yet she could see bead of sweats on his forehead that started to trickle down his milky skin. She felt guilty. Judging from the way he dressed, he did not even bother to put his black mask over his mouth. Thankfully, his signature bucket hat was enough to cover half of his small face.

“Lets sit down, you look dead” she reached out to touch his arm, leading him to the bench nearby. Yoongi leaned back in his seat, steadying his rapid breathing. His heart was about to jump out soon. Seul on the side couldn’t stop worrying over Yoongi condition, she feared the guy might pass out there by any second now.

She used the end of her jacket to wipe off the sweat on his face gently. The small gesture flustered Yoongi but a soft smile was evident on his face as he enjoyed this little attention that he got. “Calm down your breathing, you will be fine in few minutes” she whispered.

Yoongi took the chance to watch how she puffed her cheeks in and out while dabbing the sweats on his face dried. Even to this extent, Seul knew how to shake the deepest core of his heart. How ironic for someone who’s madly in love. Was he in love?

Inhaling a deep breath, Yoongi held her hand down while smiling softly “Thank you Seul. I am fine now. Sorry, for making you wait” he muttered.

“I thought you stood me up. I was about to leave” she grimaced. Not that it was something to be upset of, but she was freezing. Today’s weather was not helping her either. Yoongi chuckled upon his eyes landed on her Rudolph nose, and gently rubbed it with thumb. Her heart pounded madly at this slight touch, causing her to pull away slowly giving a little space for her to normalize her breathing.

Yoongi softened “I won’t do that because it is a date after all” he winked. She cleared her throat allowing the redness engulfing her cheeks. Seul would never get used to Yoongi sudden change of attitude around her and some more to see Yoongi in different perspective was hard for her. It came to her realization, this softened her as she learnt to accept Yoongi’s rough side. She no longer had negative thoughts on Yoongi well unless he annoyed the hell out of her.

“Are you ready, lets go?” without giving her time to digest, Yoongi had already dragged the clueless girl to the counter. After flashing their admission ticket, one of the workers led the couple to elevator, making their way up to the 24th floor. Her mind started to get dizzy just by hearing the numbers. Just, how tall it would be? She rubbed her sweaty palms against her jeans.

“Yoongi, I am here just to watch you jump right?” she gulped showing off her fear. Yoongi looked at her in disbelief, his forehead creased into a frown “No way, I am dragging you down with me” she shrieked.

“WHAT? NO NO GET ME DOWN NOW. I AM NOT GOING TO JUMP WITH YOU” she started to panic.

Yoongi laughed “I don’t know you are a scaredy-cat” Seul let out a low disapproval scowl, glaring her way to playful Yoongi. “I value my life, so I am not going to jump especially with you. Hell no. You are going to cut off my wire and let me die!”

“That sounds like a good idea. Plotting your murder sounds easier than I thought” he fired back with playful smirk on his face.  

“I KNEW IT! You are planning to kill me since start” she hissed. Bemused, Yoongi swayed his body to face pale Seul, like a reflex she pressed her back against the elevator “Wait, wait. Don’t come close. I know what you have in your mind” she squeaked.

Clicking tongue inside his mouth, he trapped her between his body, tilting his head with an amused look, “You can lean on me. You will be fine” he whispered dangerously close to her ears. Seul felt extremely high right now. Yoongi quickly pulled away when he heard the ding sound opening the door not long after. Seul walked after her with flushed face, as her mind diligently spout curses after curses.

The staffs greeted them warmly assisting the couple to get ready with the safety gears before their jump. Seul kept on pestering Yoongi about not wanting to jump with him but to her dismay, the stubborn guy won’t budge and pretended like her cries never existed. He insisted of bringing Seul down with him which was sounded absurd to her.

What was his motive?

Yoongi walked over to Seul as he noticed how she appeared scared and panic, making it hard for the staff to put on the safety gears on her. He motioned the staff to let him take over the task which he gladly complied. The staff left not long after giving the space for the couple. Her gaze who at first diligently scanned the area seeking for some sort of strength were now on Yoongi. His hand found its way to her waist, clasping the gear near her torso. The closeness of their body was killing her heart instantly.

“Relax Seul. It will be fun and as soon as you open your eyes, you will realize it is already over” fiddling with the clasp on the other side of her waist, he whispered. “It is never too late to back off now” he exclaimed.

“You should have said that sooner!” she gasped in delight. Yoongi rolled his eyes at her response knowing how unpredictable this girl could be, what did he expect from her again.

She is Ji Seul for pete’s sake.

Yoongi shot her disapproval look upon seeing Seul showing her agreement on his words “So, you are planning to waste my money and just watch me jump?” he teased her in hope this stubborn girl would find even the slightest guilt in her heart. Which appeared to be none.

“I didn’t ask you to spend your money on me. In fact, who brings a girl to bungee jumping on their date!” he heard her protest as her lips was tugged into a small pout. He’s going crazy over Seul, everything that she did was either too cute or sexy to him. Insane.

He snickered “You consider this as a date then?” she found herself being cornered. As much as she felt like smacking the sense out of Yoongi, she was trying to contain her annoyance and anger at once. If an only she could smack Yoongi hard. She would gladly do that.

“That is not the point. The point here is no one brings their date to a 24-floor building to do free jump. THAT IS NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL”

“Missy, it is not a free jump it calls bungee jumping for a reason. I have no idea that you want to do romantic thing with me, I will schedule our second date as soon as possible” he sneered sarcastically.

“Whoa hold on! No more dates with you! Your definition of romantic would involve scary thing like this one” she knocked Yoongi’s head over his helmet causing him to groan in frustration. Did her nasty remarks weren’t enough now she’s using her fist to harass him? Great, he had to put up with her weird antic, again.

Yoongi put on the small helmet over her head, squishing her face just to annoy her “That is up for me to decide, now let’s get ready. We are going to do the free jump” he gave her cheeks last squish, pulling the girl with him to the platform.

She could feel rush of fear in her blood stream, as she gulped upon her feet landed on the platform. Her grips on Yoongi’s arm tightened as soon as she saw the dizzying image beneath her feet. Seul felt like bursting into tears right now, and Yoongi sense the girl trembling hand.

“Are you ready?” one of the staffs stood at the edge gave them an encouraging smile.

Seul took a small peek at the image underneath her again, and quickly hid her face in Yoongi’s soft arm. “Yoongs…I don’t think I can do it” her inaudible mutter was crystal clear in his ears. He softened and told the staff to give them a moment. Yoongi released his hand from her strong grip and cradled her head in his hand “Do you trust me?” his sugary smile melted her heart. Her fear earlier on starts to subside, even though she was not confident whether she could handle the aftermath of the jump.

“If anything, happen you will be responsible. But what if you let go my hand” she blinked her tears away. Seul’s biggest fears were height and she had never been good in coping with it. Yoongi awed at her change of attitude in contrast to Seul sassy and fierce side, she could be a baby sometimes.

He encircled his arm around her body, embracing her tight “I will not let your hand go, trust me alright? Let’s do this” he stroked her waist. Yoongi slid his hand underneath her thigh, lifting her up causing the girl to squeal.

“MIN YOONGI WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck in reflex.

“So, I won’t let your hand go?” he said with a cheeky smile showing of his gum.

“This is your plan?”

“Yes”

“Let me down. It is even scarier this way. I am like one floor higher!”

“Just hold me tight Seul. Stop complaining!”

“How can i-YOONGS YAH-“ she screamed loudly when he purposely dangled one of his legs of the platform. Seul could feel his body wobbled to regain balance making the girl to clutch onto his back shirt tighter.

“I fucking hate you” she spouted some vulgar words out of annoyance.

Yoongi let out a low chuckle “Language, Seul” he signalled the staff that they were ready to jump, “Ready your heart, this is going to be the best jump!” he whispered softly. Her nervousness doubled as soon as she felt he moved slightly closer to the edge of the platform.

“Oh my god, this is bad idea. You are dead meat min yoongi” she buried her face in his shoulder, biting it slightly to ease her nervousness. It came out really naturally not that she wanted to flirt him in the middle of their life or death.

With a last smile, Yoongi pushed his body completely off the platform while holding onto Seul closed to him “OH GOD” she squeaked upon the cold breeze hit her already freezing skin. Yoongi pushed her upwards a little causing the latter to squeal fixing her position so she was more comfortable.

Both of them bounced a little following the tightness of the wire, a wide grin never left his face since then. He had fun holding onto Seul in his arms. The happiness that he never felt before.

When she opened her eyes, she found Yoongi was staring into her dark orbs. Confusing as it sounded, Yoongi was using his eyes to communicate. Ugh, only if she could decode it. His gummy smile was back on his face “I told you it would be fun and I won’t let you go” he leaned closer, however Seul buried her face at the crook of his neck shyly.

Why was she feeling embarrass and affected by this?

Biting his lower lips, Yoongi stroked her back as they waited until they descended safely on the ground. He set her down as soon as they feet landed on ground. He helped Seul to take of her safety gears, and she thanked him, avoiding his gaze at all time. Yoongi liked to see her shy side, for some reason he looked calmer than her fierce side.

The couple bowed politely as gratitude before leaving the site with mixed feelings inside. Seul and Yoongi walked side by side in total silence. They seemed to enjoy the cold breeze and the empty street. It was calming this way. To her distaste, her belly gurgled loudly as she patted it to quell its sound from being heard.

His brows quirked in amusement “Someone is hungry. Let’s find something to fill that empty tummy” Seul looked down embarrass with her own weird antic. Out of all day, her stomach acted weird only to throw shades on her face.

“Any idea where to eat?” his lips were pressed into thin in a deep thought.

“Fish cake and ramen?” she suggested.

It was his turn to protest “Who eats those on a date?” he scoffed.

“You consider this a date?” she teased.

“Yes I am. Unlike that someone” his response made her pout slightly.

“Killing yourself is not a good date!” she disagreed.

“But you survive. Thanks to me” Yoongi intertwined his hand with hers before she could say something nasty again. “Let’s get your fish cake and ramen” Seul swore to god, one day she would definitely straggle this man for dragging her around without her consent.  

The couple ended up walking further along the river, and Yoongi’s handsome face alight with merriment as his eyes fall upon the small convenience store. Coincidently, just beside the store there was a small stall selling their hot fish cake. They entered the store selecting their favourite ramen, and Seul insisted on paying the food considering Yoongi had spent his money on the force free jump. Even though he never agreed on it yet who could stop Seul?

Exiting the store, Seul set her ramen on the table “You take a seat, I will purchase the Eomuk!” she exclaimed in excitement. Reluctant, Yoongi sat down watching the girl swaying her body happily purchasing her favourite food.

“Aigoo, young lady. Why are you out in this weather without extra jacket?” the old lady shook her head showing her concern. Seul rubbed the back of her neck with a sheepish smile “I was in rush, so I forgot to bring extra sweater with me. Don’t worry, I am fine” the old lady handed her the fish cake in a cup.

“Are you on a date?” her eyes travelled to Yoongi as the corner of her lips was tugged into a meaningful smile.

Seul smiled nervously “He is a friend of mine. It is not like that”

“You two make a great couple. Be happy” she thanked the old lady and made her way to Yoongi. She sat across him, placing their food on the table “What took you so long? Did the ahjumma know me?” he asked with curiosity.

She cringed “Why would she? You are just Min Yoongi” “BTS Suga” he corrected.

“Yes, bratty BTS MIN SUGA” she rolled her eyes. Seul ignored the guy in front of him and started to dig in. Ramen and fishcake are the best combination for this cold weather. At least her empty stomach now was well fed. Occasionally, she would steal a glance at Yoongi. He was struggling with his food as it appeared to be too hot, yet he insisted on pushing the noodles inside his mouth.

Their humble dinner was quiet and calm without their endless banter. For once, Yoongi and Seul could sit together in one place without throwing shades on each other. That was a huge improvement.

“Can I ask you something?” Yoongi put down his chopstick, resting chin on his palm. It made him even cuter than he already is. Seul tried to focus and stopped herself from ogling the man in front of her.

“Go on”

“This is quite personal though” she gave him an assuring nod letting him to continue. After the talk that she had with her mother this morning, she was determined to change her attitude and treated Yoongi better if he didn’t pick any fight with her.

He gulped the heavy lump on his throat “Do you like Jungkook and Jimin?” he questioned. The questions were rather unclear to her, yet Yoongi was dead curious of this. The mere thought of it made it hard for him to fall asleep.

“Of course, I like them. They are kind and friendly”

“You do realize they like you more than just a friend, right?” Seul froze at his question. Not this again, she thought no one would question her this after that night. “I know Yoongi. They told everyone about it” her palms started to get sweaty again. She disliked this intensity.

“Have you given it a thought? Whether you are going to accept them or reject them?”

“I can’t sort my feelings right now. Everything happens so fast. I never thought of this to happen even, so I am sorry if I appear selfless. However, I have made it clear to both of them that i don’t have the answers with me. I can’t stop someone to fall in love. Love is too subjective. What I know now, I am giving them a chance. A chance for them and for me to discover my feelings further” sighing deeply, Seul looked disturbed.

Yoongi gazed at her face longingly “You are reconsidering their feelings?” she nodded in response. He ran his hand along his neck, giving it a little massage as he continued “There is still a room for someone in your heart, am I right?” she threw a weird glance at his way.

“Of course. I haven’t made up my mind, it is still available. Now, why are you asking me this?” she examined his expression with so much interest.

“Just wondering if I have the chance. Seems like I do have the chance” he muffled.

“Excuse me?” her eyes rounded staring at him blankly.

Realizing his foul mouth had said something that he was not supposed to, Yoongi arose from his seat “Lets head back! I must get to the studio in an hour. I will walk you back” he started walking away leaving dumbfounded Seul in her seat.

“YAH!” she strutted behind him following the guy quietly. I swear I heard him said something about him having a chance. Was it just me? Seul moaned mentally not liking this game that he played with her.

Don’t be weak now Yoongi. This is not right. Yoongi mentally scolded himself.

  This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved

[eclectic-aussie]

Random Thoughts #15

Well damn, that was a heavy episode. I kind of regret stumbling on tumblr before watching the episode because the ending was spoiled but at the same time it gave me time to brace myself for it, though my hearts still sore at the betrayal even if Bellamy thinks it’s like chipping Madi: done for the greater good.

But after seeing the promo for next week I’m also regretting not waiting until all the episodes aired so I could binge watch them BECAUSE GOD DAMN IT, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AND I WANT TO KNOW NOW!! Which is only the second time I’ve really felt that way all season, the first after last weeks episode when Clarke came back.

I can’t help but wonder at a few possibilities that might come up; the Conductor accused Bellamy of selfish obsessive love (though honestly I’d say that’s more his girlfriend than him, but not the point) and Bellamy past insecurities and self doubt/loathing makes him blind to the good he’s done (he convinced Madi to spare the prisoners and bring them with them on the Eligius, put the Flame in Madi to try and make a peace treaty with the Eligius which became moot after Murphy accidentally on purpose put McCreary in charge just to name 2)

But what I think may come up is that while the Conductor decided Bellamy’s love is selfish, they’re going to be probing Clarke’s mind against her will (there’s a word for that, and I can’t help but think that’s going to come up later when Bellamy becomes himself again) and they’re going to realise that Clarke loves selflessly to the point where she will sacrifice her life over and over again for others she barely knows. She has taken on the pain and loss, breaking herself over and over again to protect her people. Even Roan mentioned it in season 4 when he and Bellamy were taking the Hydrozene to Raven at Becca’s lab when Bellamy scoffed at Roan for only caring about his people and Roan pointed out that Bellamy was no different and everyone was looking out for themselves (PAUSE) except maybe Clarke.

Some predictions and questions I have after this week’s episode, and seeing the promos, for the fun of it and I want to get them out:

1.Becho will break-up. It’s something I’ve said since last season, but remember a week ago when Echo was going to genocide Bardo in Bellamy’s name? Remember in the promo Echo telling Bellamy he’s ‘lost himself?’ And how Bellamy is now a member of the cult that Echo tried to massacre? You really don’t think Cadogan’s going to give the body count to Bellamy when he asks why they’re locked up? I think we’ll get a scene where Bellamy ends their relationship with Echo maybe even telling her that it took the almost genocide to realise that he had wanted so badly that who she was on the Ring was who she really was, but her actions on Bardo showed she hadn’t really changed and that she still chose to make the same mistakes as before Praimfaya but now for Spacekru instead of Azgeda. Probably ending with Raven telling Echo that it was just the brainwashing and they’ll be back together when he’s better and other things of that nature which are coddling (like how both women are treated in the show. Sorry, couldn’t resist) and unlikely. I think it will probably come after the scene where Bellamy gives Cadogan the picture of his family and he burns it to prove his detachment from personal ties. Then again he’s a sociopath so…

2.Clarke will be tortured in the M-Cap machine. Yes, we all know this will happen because of the promo, and also in the promo is the fact that Clarke is fighting it; evidenced by the black blood streaming down each side of her face as the points dig into her skull. We also know Bellamy is there watching her being tortured and as far as we know doing nothing to stop it besides probably telling her to just co-operate. I know everyone is hoping this will be where Bellamy hears the radio calls, but I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen. Now hear me out: Clarke is in that chair because Cadogan wants all info he can get about the Flame and who might have more info about it, do you really think he’s just going to stand there with his newest recruit, who he believes is the key to controlling Clarke, while her memories of her love of Bellamy possibly work to undo his indoctrination? No, I think Cadogan will use Bellamy to establish a neural link and then when he realises the threat Clarke poses to keeping Bellamy as his disciple, he’ll send him away, possibly to talk to his other friends and try to ‘reason’ with them. I also think this would be a wonderful time to have Clarke relive Echo trying to kill her ‘to avenge Bellamy’ while Raven and Shaw watch and Madi orders her down using a Heda order (not that Cadogan will know that), because it will show a previous ‘kill to avenge Bellamy’ moment that will solidify Bellamy’s belief that his break-up with Echo was the right choice, but it would also work in Cadogan’s favour of ‘selfless love over selfish love’ and the danger of personal attachments, especially if he was looking for her more recent attempt to ‘avenge Bellamy’ and just happened to stumble upon it.He’s nothing if not an opportunist.

Once he’s gone the real torture will begin while Cadogan works to get the info by any means necessary. Cadogan is a narcissistic sociopath, do you really think he’ll take any risk that Clarke will reach Bellamy? I think they’ll damn near liquify her brain and then she’ll be kept apart from her people so they don’t cause a fuss. (possibly next episode) I think then Levitt will find out how hard they pushed Clarke and when he tells Octavia and she begs him to check on her, he finds Clarke in pretty rough shape. When he tells Octavia and brings Bellamy at her request, taking him away from his tour, she then confronts Bellamy who doesn’t believe her. Then Levitt shows him the footage of Clarke being tortured which she tried to resist by remembering the radio calls as a kind of block for anything outside that purview until they push too hard and she falls unconscious. Bellamy sees her being tortured and the calls and the cracks start to deepen and the indoctrination starts to fail. I know a lot of people want Bellamy there while she’s actually tortured, but I honestly don’t think that kind of betrayal of trust and basic human rights can be forgiven (by Clarke or Bellamy forgiving himself cause he’d despise himself if that did happen) and forgotten in 4-5 episodes to the degree it will need to for them to pass the test and end up together (unless they do a ‘6 years later’ where they’re married and 5 year old sibling for Madi with another on the way, but even then). I also think he’ll stay as a ‘faithful disciple’ even as he’s pulled by both sides internally until he has more info either way and will be there when point 5 below happens.

3.Tied to above: is it safe to hook Clarke up to that thing cause like time I checked, in canon it’s only been a week since Clarke was having seizures and almost died from sharing her brain for too long with Josephine which she was warned would lead to neural degradation then death, so can she actually survive the procedure?

4.I would be so happy if they have Jordan do a ‘Monty Green stopping Bellamy, Gaia and Indra in the fighting pits’ call-back by having Jordan burst in while they’re torturing Clarke with the news that Cadogan the narcissist translated the message wrong...which didn’t end so great for Becca when she presented another option other than leaving Earth. Though honestly, I don’t think it would happen next episode, maybe the one after or at least not expanded upon too much while they’re being watched.

5. I think it’s a possibility that when they do break Clarke, the info they get will be so vague that they’ll be flummoxed by it, but Bellamy will know what it means and his final decision will be made. It will just be Madi’s drawings of Clarke as ‘Wanheda’ and the Anomaly stone, my little Nightblood in Trig, and maybe one of two little things that will mean little to the Bardoans out of context and everything to Bellamy. He’d go straight to the others, maybe grabbing Levitt on the way. The other wont trust him because it’s such an about face but Bellamy will tell them about the torture (which Octavia didn’t tell them about to keep them from getting hurt trying to protect her) reminding them that Clarke was not the last person to have the Flame, that Madi was. Raven tentatively admits that Madi had been drawing pictures from her dreams that Gaia and Clarke might be from the Flame. They need to get to Madi first (and even the dead Flame might have some info) before Cadogan gets a chance to and stop Cadogan from torturing Madi like he’s done to Clarke. It’s eventually agreed that Bellamy will distract Cadogan while Levitt and Gabriel get Clarke and the others steal enough uniforms so they can get to Sanctum with their minds intact.

6.So Levitt stopped reading Octavia’s memories during the City of Light, right? And the Conductor was spouting that the Shephard message of ‘selfless love’? Who wants to bet that Cadogan gets more than a little threatened when he starts seeing not only Clarke in the City of Light itself (Imagine them starting with being tortured by her mind controlled mother, then ‘Her friends are her weakness. Start with Bellamy Blake.’, her mother being controlled to hang herself and Clarke not giving in  and Bellamy and Murphy bursting in and Clarke becoming a temporary Nightblood  and her conversations with Jasper, Becca and ALIE, even if we only see snippets or them mentioning in as an aside to rush it along, it would be heavy hitting under the circumstances), but also the lead-up and aftermath of Praimfaya, and more specifically Clarke’s place in it? The Shephard is revered for ‘saving his people from the fire’, well Bellamy shut the door and took his people to space to save them from Praimfaya while Clarke stayed behind ON THE SURFACE OF THE PLANET in order to align the dish manually to save them. The Shephard conquered the Mountain? Bellamy and Clarke defeated the Mountain who had been kidnapping the Grounder to either use as blood bags or turning them into mindless cannibals, and tortured teenagers to death for their bone marrow even after they said they’d donate it willingly. The Shephard went on a pilgrimage for 3 months with provisions to do the aforementioned conquering of the mountain? Clarke Mother F’ing Griffin survived the 2nd Apocalypse that burnt up 96% of the Earth’s surface and not only did she survive, she managed to find the 4% or at least a large chunk on it and lived there alone with only her adoptive daughter and broken radio for company for 6 YEARS! A lot of Cadogan’s mythos and legend is his own self-aggrandizing and twisting circumstances to fit his narrative of ‘I am the one true Prophet and Saviour who will lead us into the Last War for all Mankind’, Clarke’s is from her own actions, deeds and self-sacrifice.

Because while the Bardoans may are quick to spout out the credence of “the few for the many” how many of them have actually had to back that up? And both Bellamy and Clarke have, on multiple occasions. Remember Clarke and Bellamy’s little chat with Roan before the City of Light? About how ALIE didn’t give a damn what clan you were from, she wanted to get EVERYONE? Octavia knew about it, but Clarke was there when she and Bellamy convinced Roan. And also “Are you really willing to trust that guy with your life?” “No. But you’ll be covering us the entire time, and I trust you.” Not to mention him holding her hand when she got the Flame implanted and him trusting her when she said that taking ALIE’s chip was the right choice.

Huh, the end of season 3 had a heck of Bellarke, didn’t it 😉

7.I think when Cadogan finds out that Clarke has a mind-drive in her head he’s going to be veeery interested in cutting her neck open and becoming the Shephard for all eternity. Am I wrong?

8.I’m calling it now; the final test (given by a manifestation of Becca since she’s connected to all of them and the Anomaly stone) will be between Bellamy and Clarke, Cadogan and Sheidheda. It will be straight forward and/or easy to cheat until there is trick situation where their actions, not their words, show their true beliefs and goals. Maybe showing someone they loved in the past or present (Callie and Reese, whoever Sheidheda may care for, Clarke or Bellamy being trapped and there only being time to save the other or to ‘win’)

[nosunsetsjustsilence]

The Manics and Gender Identity, Part 1

There is a lot to unpack in Nicky and Richey’s early lyrics pertaining to gender, particularly in terms of identifying with women. Richey approaches the subject — as he is wont to do — with regard to the exploitation and degradation of the female image, while Nicky’s attitude is more inquisitive and casual. Both use lyrics to express their own personal “What if?”

Make no mistake: I’m not claiming that either Nicky or Richey is/was non-cis or trans or anything other than curious. But it’s clear from their personal lyric struggles and hard-won lifestyle choices that this was a different time they were living in. In the 1990s, gender identity was not a topic with any kind of mainstream recognition, at least beyond those who wanted a “sex change” or girls who were considered “one of the boys”. I think it’s fascinating, at least from my perspective, to go back and examine the themes of gender dysphoria, identity, and frustration in lyrics written before any of it was part of popular conversation, and in a way that emphasized the then absolute cultural disconnect between desire and society.

Also, it’s important to note that both Nicky and Richey have presented gender in ways that don’t have anything to do with lyrics. Nicky is comfortable in traditionally female clothing and wears dresses on and off stage; both band members wore makeup and feathers on a regular basis. I’ve tried to write about gender in terms of lyrics only, but at times I do take examples from visual media.

Finally, keep in mind that yours truly is non-binary, and the discussion will hopefully not reek of a cis person watching queer men from behind bars in a zoo.

Special thanks to @sinisterrouge for vetting this before I posted <3

Little Baby Nothing

Although Richey seemed to find comfort in claiming that his lyrics were about the larger world — in the case of Little Baby Nothing, feminism and the way women are perceived in media — a closer look usually reveals a personal stake. When I discussed the meaning of this song previously, I emphasized that the “Little baby nothing” in question is clearly Richey himself, writing in the first person and deconstructing his own image to align with a kind of mindless female groupie used for sex.

My mind is dead, everybody loves me Wants a slice of me Hopelessly passive and compatible Need to belong, oh the roads are scary Hold me in your arms I wanna be your only possession

Richey often refers to himself as a “slut” and a “prostitute” and uses self-referential porn star imagery in his lyrics (So Dead: “You need a fix I’m your prostitute”, Yes: “there’s no lust in this coma even for a fifty”), aligning the industries of pornography and music performance in very vivid ways most often pertaining to exploitation. Appropriately, singing pivotal stanzas on this track is none other than Traci Lords, arguably most famous (especially in the early 90s) for an underage porn scandal.  

What’s more, in the lyrics booklet for Generation Terrorists, there is a quotation or excerpt included for each song. The following corresponds to Little Baby Nothing:

“The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples.” -Valerie Solanos.

Ninety percent of what the Manics said and did in their early years was intended to be shocking and/or ironic. Of course they were trying to incite anger and riots, the questioning of institutions, and a teardown of normalcy. But the fact that Richey later used part of this radical statement as the title to one of his songs (“Of Walking Abortion”, natch) proves that he took it somewhat seriously, even if only in the most simple sense — that part of him resented his own maleness.

Life Becoming a Landslide

This is another song I’ve previously discussed, mostly in the arena of Nicky and Richey individualizing their distinctive voices into lines that can clearly be attributed to one or the other. In a song about nature vs nurture and the plastic confines of greater humanity cracking down on who or what someone is really supposed to be, we have:

Life becoming a landslide Ice freezing nature dead Life becoming a landslide I don’t wanna be a man

As far as writing style goes, Nicky was always fairly straightforward. Richey loves to convolute his message with proper nouns and alternating verb cases and a lack of a subject just to throw  people off, but here’s Nicky, my boy, just saying, “Dude. Being a man sucks. I don’t like this.”

He could mean that being human in general sucks. But, since his attitude towards women leads me to believe he would not abbreviate humanity in this way, and given his and Richey’s track record with gender and Nicky’s well-documented gender presentation, I think it’s clear the lyric means that he doesn’t want to be male. Because he feels it doesn’t suit him, for whatever reason. And that nature failed by making him a man instead of a woman.

Yes

‘Yes’ is an incredible song. Its major-chord melody juxtaposed against Richey’s raw portrait of degradation is truly a thing to behold. The theme? Being used, prostitution both literal and metaphorical (“For sale? dumb cunt’s same dumb questions”), exploitation in the name of capitalism (“In these plagued streets of pity you can buy anything”), and reaching the lowest possible point of existence (“Purgatory’s circle, drowning here, someone will always say yes”). But the chorus — the chorus boasts one of the rawest images of sexual violence the band has ever used:

He’s a boy, you want a girl so tear off his cock Tie his hair in bunches, fuck him, call him Rita if you want

Wow. Okay. Where to begin? The implication here is that gender, along with everything else, is mutable if you have enough money and power to abuse people. However, it appears the change would be made not to entertain others, but to appeal to a specific person, sexually (“fuck him”). The “you” in question is clearly attracted to women, so the narrator offering to mutilate himself to please them can be seen as a last-ditch act of desperation. (“It feels like this massive defeat,” said a friend. “You can make him a woman to pleasure someone, but what’s left to change after that?”)

Richey wrote most of the song; “Rita”, obviously, is the name used for an alternative female identity. But who would Rita be? Richey seems to be wondering. Would she still be me? And would the change even be worth the affections of whomever he’s speaking to? If the means are so drastic (and difficult to picture without experiencing secondhand pain), that answer would usually be “no”. But the song is called “Yes”. I would say yes to anything at this point, Richey is saying, even the most extreme sexual violence imaginable, if that’s what you wanted.

4st 7lb

This is an extreme example of Richey using world issues to examine his own nature. Although anorexic himself, Richey writes “4st 7lb” from the point of view of an obsessive young girl admiring thin models. There could be multiple reasons for this, not the least of which is that when a person fails to fit the “classic” case of an eating disorder, they are often ignored. So, Richey says, you need me to be a teenage girl? I can do that. 

(Note that in 1994, when this song was written, any eating disorder demographic outside the “white girl who loves fashion too much” model did not exist by medical standards and was usually subject to ridicule.)

Karen says I’ve reached my target weight Kate and Emma and Kristin know it’s fake Problem is diet’s not a big enough word I wanna be so skinny that I rot from view

Embodying the anorexic female stereotype allows Richey to criticize both the world and himself; by creating a parody of a young girl with an eating disorder, he creates commentary on how ridiculous and counter-intuitive her thought process actually is. The song is brutal and often focuses on nudity and sexual imagery, as it has been suggested in studies that eating disorders occur in those who are trying to annihilate their own puberty. Though Richey was well into his 20s when he wrote this, he often expressed a loathing of aging and the entire concept of adulthood.

Stomach collapsed at five Lift up my skirt my sex is gone Naked and lovely and 5 stone 2 May I bud and never flower My vision’s getting blurred But I can see my ribs and I feel fine My hands are trembling stalks And I can feel my breasts are sinking

Ultimately, “4st 7lb” hits hard as both an experiment in identity and a vicious satire of the rich white girl eating disorder cliché. Although the lyrics do not express a desire to become female, they do indicate that Richey feels everything might be easier and fit more neatly into a box if he were a girl.

[Coming in Part 2: The Girl Who Wanted to be God, Tsunami, Born a Girl, and Pretention/Repulsion.]

[bfuckingzinga]

I need to protect myself against you.

... [please do not pick up...] ...

I am sorry I just left at the wedding-party. You wont find me when you get home. You might be home, actually, already. I took my things went to a hotel. I can stay there until I fly home. 

I had a talk with Greg and Donna. They told me what happened a few months ago. 

They saw the look on my face when you hugged somebody at the party. Cause it is sometimes hard and they could tell. 

Do you remember I promised you I would choose to believe you? That is was a choice that I had to keep making? I remember sitting there, across from you in those hideous black chairs, in your dining room. I had my hands on your wet face and I told you I would choose to believe in you. Every time something would happen and it would shake me, I would believe the things that you had just told me.  

I knew it was going to happen a few times. I knew that sometimes you would be home late, and I would worry. When you wouldn’t text me a few days I would think that you would be busy with someone else. We are apart for such a long period, sometimes! The times that shook me would hit me often, more than I expected when I promised you. During those times I would feel horrible thinking that you weren’t always mine, and it was difficult to keep reminding me that you were. It was difficult to make the choice to believe you and not to bathe in my own insecurities. 

But I know you. And I know that you do not mean to hurt me. You are hurting yourself and it is though that you end up hurting me. I know you feel I am something you thought you could never have. I know that you feel you do not deserve me. I felt you deserved a chance to heal. And I wanted me with you. 

That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t protect myself from hurt. Just because you love me doesn’t mean that I should keep letting you.  

So I promised you another thing. 

I also promised you I would never forgive you again.

... 

She was petit and blond, at the party, she gave you a hug. They hit me hardest because they are so different form me. Donna saw it. She asked me what was up. I told her it was difficult sometimes. The three of us had a conversation. They are one of the few that know. It was mostly Donna doing the talking, Greg seemed a bit uncomfortable with the conversation. I wondered if maybe he had been with somebody other than Donna. 

I told them sometimes that I felt I didn’t belong there with you anymore. Not with them and not with you. 

But trying to leave you had felt like cutting out a part of myself. 

...

Donna left to get us some drinks, which was my chance to ask Greg why he was so nervous. He got a bit upset, with me thinking he cheated on Donna. He couldn’t bear that so he told me. 

Greg didn’t cheat on Donna, and he was angry with you, which was what I had picked up on. He said he felt you didn’t deserve me. I told him you need the support of your friends. That he shouldn’t discredit you that easily. But he kept talking, wanting proving his point. 

Both of them were sleeping in the hotel room next to you a few months ago when all of you were off for that weekend with friends. When they left the hotel bar in the evening to go to sleep they had seen you chatting with someone from your work that for some reason also had been in the same hotel. I think she just knew where you went for that weekend. 

And later they had heard you. The both of you. 

I believe him. 

I don’t know who else knew. But I said goodbye to them instead of you. I didn’t want the drama at the wedding.

...

It was like somebody was spooning my insides out.

It was hard. To choose to be with you after what you did. Because I want to be able to drop you in a container filled with 50 naked, blond violinist and I still want you to come out looking for me. 

That is the kind of strength between us that I want to feel. 

So I worked to feel it. 

But that was hard. 

I think I worked for it more than you did. 

...

So this is also relieve. Because I cannot do this anymore.

...

It was beautiful. 

For never in my life have I met somebody like you. 

You seem to laugh at my silly jokes. You have nocked over more glasses than I have. You ask the right questions. When I am with you I can tell you whatever is going on in my head. You won’t ever look weirdly back at me, like I always fear and some people do. Never in any of our conversations have you ever judged me or the choices that I made in my life. 

You sometimes tell me I am strong and that you envy that. 

When I am with you I can show myself to you. It means I am more me with you. It is possible you only see me as strong because I am stronger with you. 

...

But I can’t do this anymore. 

I noted on a white napkin that was on the white table cloth what facts they still knew. Another I used to try and keep the tears from my cheeks. I didn’t want the people around me to see me crying and I certainly didn’t want you to see me crying, while you were still talking to the blond. I know the first name of the one you couldn’t say no to. I noted the date. It wrote them down because I cannot remember those facts anymore later. I do not want to know about what you did, so I forget. 

I have to remember this. 

I do not need to keep reminding myself anymore that you love me. That the changes you been through together with me were enough. That you love you more, so you can love me more. 

It wasn’t enough. 

...

But it was beautiful. Every day and week and minute we were together.

And I love you and after the struggle it feels okay to let you go now. 

It is a relieve. 

I feel lighter than this morning. 

I know where we end now. 

And if I will be alone for the rest of my life, it will be fine. 

Because I gave you everything I had. 

I showed you who I am.

I cracked myself open for you. 

And I am tired because of it. 

...

You won’t find me home. 

I can’t see you, and I never want to see you again. 

It is too hard to see you because I feel you are supposed to be with me. 

And I can’t. 

I can’t keep doing this. 

I need to be strong now to.

I need to protect myself against you. 

...

I love you and I need to let you go now.

I know you will be having a hard time. Harder than me. 

Do not blame Greg for telling me. It was your mistake. Again. 

...

It seems that all I came here to do with you was showing you that you can have something like us.

It hurts to think that you probably will find somebody, like me, that you can love. Exactly because you have experienced it now. 

It hurts because it is not going to be me and I desperately want it to be. 

...

I love you and I will let you go now. 

I can’t bear to see you. 

All I want to do is hug you and kiss you because I know you are hurt. 

If you care about me, you need to leave me alone. 

If you love me, you leave me alone, ok? 

Prove that you love me by leaving me alone. 

You need to do that for me. 

please.

...

[a-political-wingnut]

Label me Human Part 2

These are my labels:

feminist

asexual

female

student

sister

daughter

cousin

millennial

student

sales associate

I have these labels. These are little clues I help others navigate around me, and likewise they can help me navigate the world...I can use them to find a group of in my area of study to talk with, or if I’m feeling upset about the housing market-I can go vent at my peers.

In this manner, as traffic signs or a sort of gps, these labels are helpful, but I am not defined by them.

They are not the sum of my parts, but pieces of a greater whole.

And this true of all these labels. Labels that we give ourselves, bestow on others, or have bestowed on us by our peers can and never will give a complete picture.

I am defined not by a list of words, but by my ideas, my words, and most importantly my actions, and the choices that I make with the time that is given to me.

This is true of everyone I think. [citation needed]

We are more than mere labels. At least I hope we are, because these labels while useful can also be detrimental. I’ve already covered this, so I wont spend too much time on it. But while these labels can serve as guidelines helping us navigate the messy traffic of life, they can marginalize people and create division within communities that need each other to be allies.

And labels themselves can be warped by perceptions and biases making something once wholesome and maybe even beneficial, toxic and detrimental.

How we behave while touting these labels, is what makes the difference.

The meaning of labels can change. Someone once wholesome and beneficial can be warped by prejudice and biases, until it becomes a twisted and toxic mockery of its former definition.

A prime example of this is feminism. Feminism by it’s very definition is a movement that supports equality for men and women. That’s what the movement actually fights for. However...a lot of people have decided that Feminism should instead be a movement that elevates women above men, as if women are shining beacons of purity or something, which they most certainly are not. As a woman I can confidently say women have the capacity to be terrible people.

Feminism is shifting away a movement that supports equality, and toward a club of misandrists who support and actively try to subjugate men. Which is a horrible thing to do.

Labels can be dangerous. Dangerous people, like irate misandrist can take them as their own, and derail entire movements, completely undermining the benefits those movements might have given.

And because they call themselves Feminists it becomes very hard to call them out on their bigotry because they can turn around go “woah there, I’m a Feminist fighting for the rights of the suppressed,” and becasue of that shield they become untouchable, and their prejudices have become scarily widespread hear on Tumblr and across other media platforms as well.

Misandry is not Feminism. It’s bigotry plain and simple. And Feminism is a movement that supports equality for both men and women. They are not the same thing, but until we stop allowing bigoted, hateful, and ignorant women to call themselves Feminists this will continue to be a problem.

Martin Luther King Jr. Could tell you, that you can’t fight fire with fire. That turning around and treating the misogynists with hatred and disdain, threatening to, if not actively seeking to strip them of their autonomy does nothing but prove that women and Feminists in particular really are monsters.

So thanks ladies. Thanks a bunch.

Thanks for making Women’s Suffrage look like a crock of hooey. Very helpful. And for making men feel like they’re under threat and need to defend themselves, making it harder to convince them to help us, becasue we really do need their help, you know, since they’re a part of society and have an easier time being taken seriously by other men than we women do-since the stereotype of the manipulative woman playing the victim card is still a thing-.. and I can’t imagine why that would be the case when those same poor defenseless victims turn around and start talking about exterminating, subjugating, or enslaving men-like I just can’t imagine why that mentality might persist. So again thank you for making the path to equality so much more difficult. Because it so bloody easy to walk before. Thanks.

And how you behave when you say you’re a feminist or X/Y//Z-or any label matters. It matters a great deal, because in that moment you become a face and a spokesperson for a group of people, and your behaviour is what they’ll remember long after your words have faded. If you support a marginalized group and you’re turning around and trying to marginalize others, you’re doing a disservice to your group.

Another example is Veganism (Yes I’m Vegan too-I did say I’d probably forgotten some labels lol) When Vegans treat animals with more respect than people, there’s a problem. There’s a problem with that individual’s mindset, certainly, but with the group as a whole if people within that community aren’t stepping forward to say, “we don’t support that kind of hatred/behaviour. We recognize that humans are animals too.”

I’m not going to say labels don’t matter. They absolutely do. But how you use them, when/if you use them matters more. There’s nothing wrong with an angry Vegan, or a furious Feminist.

But there is something wrong if that anger is used to spread hatred, bigotry, or violence. A label does not give you rightful claim to any moral high-ground if you start perpetuating bigotry or violence. And the moment you do so, you debase yourself. You lose all credibility and moral integrity.

The moment you start using labels or allow others to use labels to foster hatred and bigotry, you become a part of the problem not the solution.

Thanks Misandrists. Thanks PETA. (Side note: PETA was the reason I hated Vegans. For years. I hated them...until I became one because Caitlin Shoemaker and Unnatural Vegan showed me that not all Vegans are PETA, or endorse PETA.)

There are rational vegans. There are rational Feminists. Every group has their sinners and saints. And now that I’ve gone off about the hypocrites utilizing those moments for malicious gains.

Labels are important. I’ll say it again. But they should not be everything. There’s a time and a place to tell someone you’re a Vegan. There’s a time and a place to say you fall under the LGBTQA umbrella. There are times when those signs need to be made visible for one’s own benefit, and the for the benefit of a group or movement at large.

How one behaves while donning them matters.

But so does there usage. You can’t be non-binary and female at the same time. Being non-binary means you’re neither male or female, and I kid you not I saw this mistake made by someone yesterday. I’m not gonna link this, because I don’t need or want anyone who reads this to go after them. I have a gut feeling it’s a young person too. And I’ve seen the deplorable behaviour of adults on here, so I’ll address it myself.

Labels have clearly defined meanings, and that’s very important. The people who use those labels need those meanings to be as clear and concise as possible. They need those labels, because they are the shortest and simplest way to tell someone what you are or what you stand for.

Like which political party someone belongs to. Democrats and Republicans are not the same. That’s not to say there aren’t people who side with both on certain topics. But when you think Republican there’s a very clear image of a republican that comes to mind. Alt-Right likewise conjures something else. Labels need to be clear cut and as easy to understand as possible.

It’s important that they don’t get used in the wrong way, or that five different labels aren’t being used to mean the same thing. The latter, especially, muddies the water. And there are people in this world who might not what trans means, or what asexual, or non-binary means, and it’s important that labels be used appropriately and in the right context. Because the definition of the labels we use to define ourselves with matters.

And this brings me back to my main point. I sure know how to go a tangent lol. (Seriously. I’m sorry about that, but seeing people using labels to justify bigotry infuriates me like nothing else.)

Labels should not be treated as the whole sum of a person’s parts. It’s not good if they are. People are complicated and their thoughts and behaviors are messy. And I don’t believe anyone should able to stuff to themselves under a small umbrella of  words and acronyms and go: “Yup, that is me.”

I honestly hope that’s not the case. There should be an ‘and’ in  there somewhere. Lots of ‘ands’ all of which put together begin to paint a clear picture of who a person might be.

So these are my labels:

feminist

asexual

female

student

sister

daughter

cousin

millennial

student

sales associate

vegan (this applies to my everyday life and I missed it lmao)

These are facets of a person. Glimpses through a dusty window at the room inside. I am all of these labels, and I am so much more. I am me. I am Squirrel. I am human.

We are all human. And before someone looks at us and sees a straight person, a queer person, or a vegan, they’ll see our face, hear our words, and witness our actions. It is how we interact with our fellow humans that defines us.

[the-stoned-priestess]

When is it okay to ask a psychic?

The following is of a matter of opinion. Please know this is not information of absolute certainty however something I personally witnessed...

A psychics job is to act as a living guide. We are not party favors or human Magic 8 Balls. Our sole purpose is to provide POSSIBLE OUTCOMES regarding to your most important issues. If you follow our advice ( and you should) it’s is greater possible that you will receive the outcome as prophesied. If your desired outcome isn’t reached, it is at the fault of the querant. Not the psychic.

How can this be?

The universe is never set in stone. It relies on YOUR part. It’s like making a wish. You cant just sit out and wait for your wish to come to being and hope some tall dark and handsome is going to ring your doorbell or your promotion will come without effort! You have to take action and chances you probably never would have taken! Without action there is no future. You have to know your role as the responsible key player in your destiny. You have to follow the guidance you have been given with your heart AND your head. You wont have eyes to see if you lose your head and you will not succeed in seeing your desired outcome.

DO NOT shop around for psychics.

What I mean is, don’t ask the same question to different psychics in hopes of getting to heard what you want to hear. You will be disappointed and the universe WILL respond in kind by giving you exactly what you don’t want. Law of attraction dictates, Like Attracts Like. If you spend so much time worrying about your desired outcome and then enforce desperation, it is holding a mindset of LACK and if like attracts like, you will continue to see exactly that. Again, it’s not the psychics job to change your attitude. 

Asking around using the same energy you put out can bring fourth confusing information. One psychic might say this and that but another might say something different or roughly the same. Putting out the unnecessary need to be sure is lack of faith. You have the accept the information given the first time or you will risk putting lack of faith (like lack of faith in psychics because you didn’t follow the advice) out there again for the law of attraction to present to you more reason to lack faith. What you seek, you find. Without faith, there is no future. Lack of faith is lack of esteem. Lack of esteem is lack of love. Without love, you know the deal.

What is selfish followship?

Say for example you want to attract a lover but you have to work on yourself before you can be ready for such a relationship. What a lot of people tend to do is practice what the psychic or spiritualist suggests as advice, but instead of following the advice for themselves in a healthy way, they do so with the only intent to “attract” love. This isn't how it works. Your self improvement is a serious matter. You change because you really want to and it doesn’t stop when you have gotten your soul mate/twin flame. The work you do for yourself, is so that you can give the same love you have for yourself back to your lover. An empty cup cannot and will not fill another. This is how relationships fall apart. Again, not at the fault of the psychic. You know that saying:

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink!

Doing your own inner work with the sole purpose to evolve spiritually is whats important. Going at it selfishly to stop because you got your lover or feel you don’t see the benefit means, you are selfish and therefore do not posses the right attitude to proceed and run the risk of failure. When we don’t learn from our mistakes, we repeat the process until we get it right. Think back to a time in your life when insanity played a part where you kept choosing the same situation or people in your life expecting a different result. 

Then the universe is like:

The sooner you find the pattern, the likely-hood you will get your desired outcome. But in combined to taking the advice an intuitive gives you, changes are even greater and who knows, could be better than expected.

Asking a psychic multiple questions is bad ju-ju too.

As a psychic, when I first started out, the first thing I did was go to my cards for every little thing. I’m not perfect. What I learned is that it’s no different than cheating on a test or depending on a therapist to tell you what to wear on a date. Petty things like that is unhealthy and should be recognized. Some psychics will happily take advantage of the client who also want to take advantage of the “Human Magic 8 Ball” who is charging for the help. Is it a win-win? Not exactly.... I have learned this is wrong. You have to know when to stop because it further hurts your spiritual progress on BOTH the psychic and client. I strongly feel taking money off other’s like that is bad ju-ju in return. Probably 10x on the psychic that used your weakness for financial gain. Especially if there is financial gain. A psychic should use ethics and common sense when presented with a person this way, it’s not so they can take advantage. In itself it’s a test on their ethics as well. Hopefully they learn how to cut someone off. It’s hard because I want to help but we psychics need to know when it’s helpful to a client. 

Going to a psychic for everything isn’t helpful. It’s damaging your power and self-esteem. You don’t need to cheat on the tests of your human existence on earth. Life is full of tests, tricks, twists and turns. Embrace these things! You have everything you need right there with you. Yes, I understand anxiety. But that is a problem YOU have to solve on your own without someone constantly holding your hand. If you can’t do that, you are sure to miss out on what is rightfully yours and it’s not at the fault of the psychic.

So WHEN is it okay to ask a psychic?

Like seeing a therapist, if you need guidance or to gain insight on your spiritual development, once a week is good --so that you can take a week or however long to process the information and make moves. I started once a week and eventually it fizzled down to just a few times a year on the spiritual path. But these days I will do a reading when there is spiritual information my guides need me to know that can’t be heard at the time for whatever reason. I RARELY seek guidance about my future because I don’t like knowing too much. So I wont go out of my way to cheat through life like that. It still freaks me out when a vision comes to life. You don’t want that. TRUST me! 

Not every session has to be about future love, career, relationships or finances. Need not worry about the future. It’s much better to seek help on what is happening NOW in the present. What ever future outcomes you get, always take with a grain of salt. Focus on the here and now. What is it you can do NOW. I suggest using a psychic to help you understand how and why of a situation. To gain insight on whats currently happening and what you need to change. That’s it! The possible outcome is just details. The how and why are KEYS to get you to your possible outcome! Use the keys to open the door. If you don’t use the keys, you will forever be stuck outside.

To put bluntly: 

If you put so much focus on a possible outcome, without regard to advice or spiritual work you need to do, you don’t need a psychic, you need to seek professional help. Anxiety is a serious problem. Without talking to a trusted friend or a licensed therapist, you can’t expect to see your possible outcome! Anxiety goes hand in hand with depression and people suffering should not seek advice from a psychic. If you see a therapist and hire or acquire the aid of a psychic use both to help you along your journey. But again see a psychic to help with the here and now as you would with a therapist. Future details don’t matter until you can live in the present. 

I know plenty who see a shamen, a therapist and psychiatrist. One of them is my brother and he’s made such great progress on his spiritual journey that I’m proud. He’s learned to do tarot reading and pendulum dowsing as well and respects the process by using these tools to help evolve on his unique journey. 

There are exception to every rule however, I wouldn’t focus on that in this case because it’s not helpful to anyone. 

TL;DR

You don’t need to see a psychic for every matter of your life and you don’t need to put so much focus on your desired outcome. Each possible outcome is dependent on your involvement. Lack of faith by asking numerous psychics, lack of patience by asking the same questions, and poor spiritual attitude doesn’t give you what you want and deserve. We psychics cannot make things happen. We provide the tools and it’s up to you to use them. Know when to stop seeking intuitive advice and learn how to cope with anxiety in healthy ways. Know you are powerful in your own way. You are deserving of happiness and... 

...if you truely believe it, work for it, you can and will achieve it.

Thank you for reading.