#because you go 'oh wow this is so wonderful! you [thing accomplished with the aid of proper medication]!'

[archivingspn]

Season 8 DVD Extra: “Angel Warrior: The Story of Castiel”

[Dean: Cas we’re getting out of here. We’re going home. Castiel: I can’t] [Dean, Cas and Benney standing beside the river in Purgatory] Singer: An angel who feels guilt, who says, “I’m in the right place in Purgatory cause this is where I- this- this should be my punishment.” There’s a lot you can do with that character.

[Castiel: Dean!] Carver: You know, it’s just one piece of the proof that this character that started out as pretty much a warrior angel who rescues Dean from Hell had a certain richness. 

[Samandriel: Despite his mistakes, Castiel’s heart was always in the right place.] Singer: He’s got this power, he’s got this connection to heaven, but he’s- he- he’s behaving, you know, he has the emotions of a mortal, and those things always conflict within him. Glass: It allows us to learn more about our own humanity. When you have a character that’s a blank slate, it allows you to explore so many things about humanity, the good and the bad. And I think Castiel is the perfect example of that. [Dean: Hold on! Castiel: Dean! Dean--]

[Title Screen: ANGEL WARRIOR: The Story of Castiel] [Dean: (in Hell) Somebody help me! (pants in pain) Sam!] Edlund: Well, I think one of the- one of the first very important jobs that- that, uh, had to get done was, Dean had to get out of Hell, which is a big problem. We toyed with the idea of there being a kind of a quest or a large s-sort of series of events that took place, uh, for- for Dean to get out of Hell. And, um, it really came down to, we knew it was going to happen, so why not have it just happen?

[Dean examines the red handprint on his shoulder in the mirror] Carver: We start in the writers room talking about what types of things could actually pull Dean from Hell, and knowing that we wanted to start getting into these ideas of, um, uh, angels and heaven and everything. At its root, it was just very smart that this divine thing pulled him out.

[Dean dodges breaking glass in the gas station] Edlund: And, then he’s sort of pursued by this sort of, uh, what seems like a sinister unseen force. That was the entity, Castiel, without a vessel, trying to make contact with Dean.

[Castiel reveals his black wings in the barn to a disbelieving Dean] Glass: Yeah, our show is definitely not the Touch by an Angel's kind of angels. (laughs) Our angels, uh, have an agenda. Singer: These are n-, y’know, not little cherubs sitting on your shoulder and they weren’t Clarence in- from, y’know, It’s a Wonder Life. Dabb: These are people who are warriors. They’re there to enf- at least, at the very beginning, they’re there to enforce what they believe is the will of God.

[Dean: I thought angels were supposed to be guardians - fluffy wings, halos - not dicks.] Edlund: Supernatural branching into the world of angels? Uh, that’s a pretty big deal. It was, mythologically speaking, a big branch. Jared: And Jensen and I both were like, well, you know we didn’t sign up to make, like, a show about religion, like, that’s not what we’re trying to do as actors. And, when we signed up for Supernatural we thought we were making, like urban legends, myths, blah-blah-blah. Jensen: You know, I wasn’t quite sure where they were taking it. I mean, now all of a sudden we were dealing with angels and demons, whereas before we were dealing with, y’know, ghosts and- and goblins.

[(FM) Misha: You guys want to run lines, or…? Dean: His name’s Misha. (looks skeptical) Misha?] Misha: When they sent out the sides for this audition, for the role of Castiel, the sides said it was a demon, because Eric didn’t want to reveal that they were adding an angel to the show. Edlund: The first episode of the fourth season was built to really be this slow build, with a big kind of introduction at the end of it, so keeping it quiet was pretty important.

Misha: I did one- one take of the scene and Eric said, “Okay, good, good, but actually, y-you’re n- cat’s out of the bag, you’re an angel, not a demon, now do it again.” And I did, and apparently he liked what I did, cause, um, I got the part.

[Castiel walks into a barn lit by sparking lights] Misha: The season premiere of Season 4, which was the episode that I a- first appeared in, at McGee’s offices, sort of at the screening party, and Sera Gamble, um, the writer and producer, was standing next to me. And right when I came on screen, she leaned over and whispered to me, “Your life is about to change.” And then, lo and behold, it really has changed remarkably, and it’s, um, it’s been quite exciting.

[Castiel: I’m an angel of the Lord.] Sgriccia: When we bring in Castiel, he’s -he’s in a human form. If you were to look at an angel, you’d be blinded and you’d be deaf from the sound of it. Edlund: There’s a lot that we owe to the badass presentation of angels. Like, there’s Constantine, there’s, um, Prophecy with, uh, Christopher Walken. One of the things that became a powerful icon for that character was just the trench coat. It became quite powerful. Singer: It was really a stunning shot where you saw the- the shadow of these enormous wings. And it was not, uh, (in a hippie voice) “Oh, wow that’s an angel.” It was, (sounds nervous) “Oh, like, geez, that’s an angel,” y’know.

Edlund: We didn’t swing for the, uh, animatronic wings that are constantly fluttering and re-fluttering behind him. There’s a desire to step away from that sort of thing and be a little bit more low to the ground, which is Supernatural’s general aesthetic thrust.

[Dean: Who are you? Castiel: I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition. Dean: Yeah?] Edlund: When Misha created the persona for this character, I forget if he had a cold or not, or if he just decided to do it, but he, uh, pitched his voice down a little bit, to give himself gravitas. Misha: Oh, I thought, oh, I sh- I should give him, like, a really commanding, powerful voice.

[Castiel: You have no faith.] Misha: Something that I now regret, because I’ve been doing it for six years, and there are definitely times when I have to go home and like, drink hot lemon water and- (laughs) and have a sore throat. Jensen: He came in with a, y’know, he- he committed. And, y’know, sometimes you- you win some and sometimes you don’t, but it’s nice to- to have somebody with that kind of a conviction. Carver: Y’know, there was a vein that was struck there with this character. I’m probably not the one to say why it worked. I can only tell you... it d-did, and- and it has worked, and the proof is in the pudding. 

Jensen: The fact that you know, we have essentially an angel who can pop in and pop out wherever we are- 

[Castiel: Hello Dean] Jensen: -I thought was a really good recipe for somebody to stick around, and- and be a- a- a greater part of this storyline.

[Castiel: Thank you. For everything. Dean: Save the Hallmark, okay? It’s gonna work. Nobody gets left behind.] Carver: I don’t see – and- and I’m not saying he’s not, but – I don’t look at Castiel as a mentor and a protector at all. I look at him as yet another person that was sucked into the Winchester brothers’ orbit. Edlund: He was on the heavenly payroll, and every time he showed up it was to accomplish some specific goal and he was not stretching too far out of that range to aid the boys. And sometimes he was a problem for the boys. Glass: He sometimes gets lost along the way in what he thinks is right and protecting the boys, and does things that, at the end of the day, um, end up not helping.

Edlund: As an angel, his- his understanding of human emotions was something that was, like, naive, even though he had watched humans for so long. Singer: His motives generally are right but, y’know, he- he makes mistakes because he doesn’t quite understand everything.

[Dean: What the Hell’s wrong with you? Castiel: I am an angel in a land of abominations. There have been things hunting me since the moment we arrived. Dean: (yelling) Join the club. Castiel: These are not just monsters, Dean. They’re Leviathan. I have a price on my head, and I have been trying to stay one step ahead of them to- to keep them away from you.]

Misha: He sees himself as Dean’s protector, and at the same time sees Dean as something of a mentor, because there’s a lot about the world he doesn’t understand and that he can glean from Dean. Singer: He saw in the boys, really, the worth in humanity, and he became sort of enamored of humanity as, y’know, channeled through Sam and Dean. So, on the one hand, he thinks, “I owe this allegiance to God, I owe this allegiance to the angels, but I think this freewill thing is right, and I think that’s probably what God wanted.” So, that was his sort of line of demarcation with the angels. Jensen: This relationship that he has developed with these humans, uh, has- has truly shaped the story that he is- is now kind of creating for himself. It’s- it’s much more freewill than it is about, y’know, the- the- the duty of an angel. Dabb: Castiel is the boys’ best ally. He’s kind of the one friend that isn’t each other that they’ve been able to rely on for years. That doesn’t mean he’s perfect, because he definitely is not that, and they go- that goes the other way, too. But he’s always been there for them, and I think that’s been very important, because the only brother (sic) people in their lives who- who fill that role are them- are, y’know, basically each other. Carver: I don’t know if the relationship would have worked as well, if he was just a mentor as opposed to a- a friend.

[Dean: (startles awake, spilling his beer) Ugh. Dammit, Cas. How many times I gotta tell you? It’s just creepy.] Carver: Just to speak of the Dean-Cas of it, I think you’ve got two incredibly dynamic, uh, y’know, characters slash actors in their own right who are so good at being exactly what they’re supposed to be, and what they are, essentially, is an odd couple.

[Dean: In the police report, it said that the, uh, the bush- it talked to you. Yeah? Victim: It sounded like Klingon to me. Dean: I’m gonna need exact words. Victim: You’re serious? Castiel: That’s his serious face, yes.] Edlund: Castiel the entity. This celestial being, as the fish-out-of-water- um, h-he’s an alien. He’s an alien to human experience.

[Castiel: What’s so funny?] Jared: Misha’s brought so much. I mean, Misha, he’s a very intelligent person and he’s brought a soul and understanding and some awesome humor and, um... so many other things.  I mean, Cas, it feels like he lives and breathes on-screen.

[Dean: It’s wabbit season. (Sam smiles.) Castiel: I don’t think you pronounced that correctly.] Sgriccia: Misha plays it so straight. He’s like Starman. He’s just this guy that you think- he looks human, but his cadence, his rhythm, his timing on things is off. There’s huge funny pieces that happen with him and the guys. 

[Castiel: I’m going to become a hunter.] Sgriccia: Because he says something that’s totally straight – it comes off as really, really funny.

[Sam: Really? Castiel: Yeah. I could be your third wheel! (Sam laughs and bites his tongue) Dean: You know that’s not a good thing, right? Castiel: Course it is! A third wheel adds extra grip, greater stability-] Glass: Everything from the way he plays him, where, y’know- And it allows us to write great jokes where he doesn’t always get what’s being said, you know, and always, y’know, takes things very literally.

[Dean: She’s right, you know. I mean, the whole heart jumping out of the guy’s chest, the- the delayed fall - that’s straight-up Bugs Bunny. Castiel: So we’re looking for some sort of insect-rabbit hybrid? How do we kill it?] Jensen: The fact that he is (laughs) has really committed to that character, uh, I think made it really, uh, really unique and interesting for the storyline.

[Castiel: (interviewing a cat) I’ve almost cracked him. Dean: Now! Castiel: Hey, I’m not through with you. Cat: Dumbass.] Edlund: Misha really played that in a lot of different ways. I mean, there’s been a lot of different incarnations of Castiel, because he’s gone through so much. Glass: I’m gonna go really geeky on you guys right now. (laughs) Um, you know, he’s our Data from Star Trek: Next Generation, you know? He is our character that allows us to explore humanity. He’s an angel who loves humans, and so I think what you’re getting to see in him and what makes him such a great character is, he’s a reflection of us.

[Castiel: (yelling) Why did you kill your husband?! Dean: Agent Stills? Sam: Please, forgive my partner. He’s, uh, he’s going through some stuff.] Edlund: It’s his un-formedness, in a way, as an angel that allows him to make the decisions he makes during the course of the- the story. He had what Dean and Sam later described as a moral lapse.

[Castiel: Speak plain. Crowley: I want to discuss a simple business transaction, that’s all. Castiel: You want to make a deal? With me?]

Misha: One of the biggest problems with the character is that he’s too powerful, and you don’t want an ally, uh, for Sam and Dean who can solve all of their problems with a snap of his fingers, so one of the things that they’ve been doing with Castiel over the last several years is finding ways to impede his power. He becomes kind of an enemy by being God, or he goes insane. There’s all these different layers that they have used to incapacitate him in some way. When we first met Castiel, he was very much the good little soldier. Over time, his exposure to Sam and Dean has made him much more human. It has given him, y’know, questions to wrestle with, like, “Do I have freewill? Do we all have freewill?” Questions that a good little soldier doesn’t normally wrestle with. Mark S.: We intersect with each other because we have agenda that are similar.

[Crowley: I’m talking about Raphael’s head on a pike. I’m talking about happy endings for all of us, with all possible entendres intended. C’mon. Just a chat?] Dabb: Crowley was made in Hell, Castiel was made in Heaven, and both of them are rebelling to some degree. They’ve both kind of broken away from the home office. They’re both kind of rebels in that way, and I think that’s what really gave them a common ground. They’re like, y’know, we’re rebels. You’re a rebel, I’m a rebel, let’s be rebels together.

[Crowley: It’s either this, or the apocalypse all over again. Everything you’ve worked for, everything that Sam and Dean have worked for-- gone.] Sgriccia: I think there was always gonna be some flaws in him – you know, power corrupts. So he got corrupted, and he went the wrong way, and it went- horribly bad. You know, because he had all those souls in him, um, and he realized that it wasn’t gonna work. Y-you know, that’s the human part coming out, that he realizes that. Otherwise he would have just kept going.

[Castiel slams Crowley against a wall.] Carver: For me, it’s all a balance between the joy and the pain. Mark S.: I mean, this is- it’s an amazing push and pull.

[Crowley: This is not how synergy works!] Mark S.: They need each other. They’re, y’know, they’re two sides of a very similar coin. Misha: Ah, boy, Crowley is pr- a big problem. And he just doesn’t seem to be going away, unfortunately. I don’t know what to do about it.

[Naomi: Tell me about Sam and Dean. Castiel: The prophet is being kept safe. The tablet has split in two, and the Winchesters are trying to recover the missing piece. Why am I telling you any of this?] Mark S.: The introduction of Naomi adds a- a second twist to it, which is, angels aren’t just the goody-goody- I mean, we’re getting a sense here that the stuff being done – “for the good of the garrison” shall we say – goes beyond what we thought angels were capable of doing.

[Naomi: Let us put the tablet back where it should be. Castiel: I need to protect it.] Singer: When he realizes that he’s been sort of a pawn in this game again, he feels I don’t- I can’t do anything right, I- y’know, it- it just wh- Whatever I do in relation to the Winchesters or whatever I do here on Earth when I think I’m being helpful, here I’m being puppeted by this-this person. Dabb: Cas is seen by heaven as an agent of chaos. You know, for good reason.  Like, he ripped the place apart, he’s instrumental in the downfall of these Archangels.

Singer: He’s kind of crestfallen a-about this. He feels, “The best thing for me to do is just,” you know, “Get the hell out of here. Go underground. Not be- not be involved.” Sgriccia: The humanist part helps him correct himself in a way. There’s this whole thing about heaven and the angels and how they’re dysfunctional and just like humans in a way, only a different level of arguments and disagreements. And there’s- is, you know, it’s in disarray in heaven, and he doesn’t want that anymore. Jared: Cas is starting to see the power of humanity, um, through these brothers, and what they’re willing to do and what they’re willing to sacrifice. And I think that’s kind of a story that Supernatural is trying to tell. Edlund: His ability to connect with a human, a naturally flawed, naturally imperfect, naturally given to the doubts and caprices of freewill – there’s something broken in Cas that resonates with whatever it is that is broken in humanity.

[Naomi: Castiel. Castiel!] Edlund: There’s a crack in Cas and, I put forward, the crack through which amazing things come. That’s why he keeps coming back. It has to be this way, in part because he was the one who was primed to lose it in the face of humanity’s plight. Singer: He realizes the, um, the importance of the angel tablet and his one last sort of thing of “I’m gonna do the right thing” is “I’m going to protect this- this tablet.“

[Castiel: They’re getting closer. Waiter: What’s that, Chief?] Singer: “This is- this is my last connection to God, really, and I have this tablet and I’m going to at all costs hold it and keep it. I don’t want the Angels to have it, I don’t want the Winchesters to have it. This is my last shot to make it right for me.”

[Castiel: Shut up! (knocks an angel down and casts him out of his vessel] [Castiel walking into the barn in Season 4] Glass: You can write a great character, but if it’s not acted right, uh, then it doesn’t mean anything. And, what really any writer or producer will tell you is what’s amazing – and I know this is the case with Misha – where you write a great character but then they come in and even bring it to a whole other level. Dabb: You have a universe. You have stories you want to tell. You have different moving parts. And if someone’s a moving part that can, y’know, twi- spin and spin and spin, they’re al- you’re always gonna get more use out of them, versus the one person that’s just there for a little while. Sometimes, you know that kind of early on, but more often it- it’s something that is really only apparent- only apparent in hindsight. Misha: That’s also something that has worked well for me. It’s just gratifying and interesting to play something that is always changing, and not to be sort of stuck in a rut. 

Dabb: It’s- a character – like any character, but especially a character like Castiel, who’s grown so much – really is a collaboration between the writers, the directors, y’know, the production, and, uh, particularly the actor. Glass: Misha just- he’s- he’s amazing as- as- as Cas. And, I think this guy’s gonna do okay. I think this is not the last we’ll see of this Misha. Hm? [Castiel looks up at the sky as the angels fall.]

[whales-and-recovery]

Well, I don’t typically do things like this, but I think it’s worth the effort so I can come back and see this again at a later point.

9 Things / Experiences / Moments / Triumphs I am grateful for this year:

1) Firstly, wow, what a year it has been. This is the first year of my life that I have truly been on my own. It has been very difficult not having any parent figures around and really figuring everything out on my own, but I did it and I’m doing it. I was in one relationship for 5 1/2 years and another soon after for nearly an entire year, but as of now I have been single for quite a while. It’s been weird navigating on my own but absolutely worth it. I’ve earned my independence. There have definitely been some rough patches, but I am really proud of myself for being able to do this because it’s been a pretty scary ride.

2)  I got my wonderful dog Thor last year in September, but since I moved here in January it has just been him and I. I’ve really gotten the opportunity to connect with him and he is my everything. I love coming home to his smiling face every day, despite the fact that sometimes he is a huge pain in the ass.

3) From January to September, I was working a job in downtown as a receptionist at a condominium. This is a very, very wealthy part of Miami and I worked in a residential building full of very - very successful people. The opportunity to meet many of these people and make good connections was amazing. I also got the chance to meet my very good friend George. Also a pain in my ass at times, but such a genuinely good and kind hearted person.

4) This is a big one, after two years of wanting nothing more than to be back in school, I am finally back in school! I am eligible for financial aid but as I am still considered a dependent student by fafsa guidelines, regardless of the fact that I am completely independent, and the fact that my mother refuses to comply with the application process as she does not want me to go back to college, I don’t get any aid. That means that I have to pay my own tuition for school. It’s been rough, but oh so rewarding. I am so, so, so happy, grateful, and excited to be furthering my education and working towards my career as an aspiring Maribe Biologist. I want nothing more.

5) I finally started SCUBA diving again! I found a new instructor to help me as I was having major issues equalizing my ears before which was causing me intense pain and discomfort. My last instructor did not take it seriously and I could have permanently damaged my ears. This new instructor is just so amazing and takes the time and puts in the effort to really help me figure everything out. You get what you pay for. I’m so passionate about the ocean / diving and I was fearful before as I was scared I would not be able to fix the problem with my equalizing but he helped me and I did it!!!  I am just ecstatic.

6) I’m actually working a new job now. I’m working as a narrator on a glass bottom boat in the Keys. This is just wild for me. This is the first job that I’ve had that has anything at all to do with the field I want to be in. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been / can still be extremely daunting as public speaking is definitely something I’ve been fearful of for a long time, but now I’m spending hours talking in front of large crowds of people with a microphone strapped to my face. I’m really glad I was able to make some leeway on that fear and I am actually owning it! I’m getting paid to look at and educate people about dolphins, sharks, turtles, and coral all day. Sometimes I get applause when I’m done. Definitely not used to that part yet.

7) I’ve really realized how precious some of the relationships I have in my life are. I’ve had some very, very good friends move away to other cities and states chasing their dreams. While it’s definitely been saddening to see them go, my heart is so full of joy that I have met these wonderful people who are just as hungry as I am to have a spectacular life and not let ANYTHING hold them / us back from the wonder that life has to offer. I am so, SO proud. Obviously, I’ve also missed my dad since he passed away almost 9 years ago, but this year has definitely made me realize just how much I miss him. I wish he was here and I hope dearly that he is proud of the woman I’m becoming.

8) This year I’ve had so much wild stuff happen. Besides the craziness of 2020, my personal life has been particularly topsy-turvy as well. I sold my beloved Miata as Thor was getting too big for it. I ended up buying a Volkswagen rabbit which had very bad brakes which resulted in me hydroplaning and completely losing control of the car on Mother’s Day, spinning out, and slamming into a wall. I got the car fixed and literally a week later as I was driving it home from work again, it Caught. On. Fire. I had to jump out and call fire rescue. The car was sold to me as is. There was nothing I could do about it and I couldn’t get my money back. I am currently borrowing a friends car (thats another story).  Thor also had another emergency surgery this year as he tore up my bedsheets while I was working one day and swallowed a big chunk. Another instance that happened not too long ago was where I was walking him at night in 65° weather (That’s cold for people in Florida guys, also I’m a pussy) and his collar just gave out and popped off of his neck. He saw a duck and took off straight into the lake which resulted in him swimming all the way out to the very middle of the lake at 9 PM which resulted in me having to jump in and swim out after him to get him back because he’s a little stupid sometimes and I know he’s never been in that deep of water. He’s a lazy dog, he tires out pretty easily, had I not jumped in, there is no doubt in my mind that he would’ve drowned. Definitely wasn’t expecting the lake to be that deep at all, not to mention that the water was freezing and it was basically pitch black out there. At one point I couldn’t see him anymore and I really thought he had drowned. I found him, alive, I got him back. We are safe. Very scary night. My life feels like a movie sometimes, the list of crazy stuff goes on. Despite the book I can write on the insane amount of stuff that’s happened this year alone, I truly admire my resilience. I know sometimes I can be very hard on myself and times get very tough, but when I fall down 753 times, I stand up 754.

9) This one sort of - kind of goes along with the last one, but at some point last year, I kind of lost the sparkle in my eye. I really lost the appreciation that I found for life. As of recently, I have been working very hard to push myself back to a point where my mental health is nothing but a priority. I am once again regaining the passion that I have for living, being able to wake up in the morning, even breathing which I forgot was a privilege.  I am once again hungry, in the best sense of the word, for life. I can’t wait to continue growing and moving forward in this chaotic existence. I am so appreciative for the things that I have and how hard I have worked to get where I am. It has been truly rough out here on my own but as I said earlier, I am so proud of how resilient I have become.

I can’t wait to see what kind of incredible things I accomplish next year. I am so hopeful for the future. Looking forward with bright eyes y’all! I hope everyone has a wonderful New Years and that you can all look back on the craziness that was 2020 and find the good in it as well. Thank you @always-the-2nd for challenging me and always keeping me in mind. It warms my heart to know that you’re in my corner as I am in yours.

[particularemu]

The Cupcake Dilemma | A Kim Seungmin Scenario

Word Count: 1985

Type: Fluff

Warnings: None really… I guess cursing if that bothers you?

Prompts: 43 (Frost the damn cupcakes.) and 51 (I’m your husband. It’s my job.)

Author’s Note: Everybody’s been soft over family stray kids, so I added a son into the mix. 

Send in a number!

You sighed, yet again, as you scrolled through the endless photos Snapchat had to offer you that night. There were plenty of golden images of Minho with the cat filter and Chan with the giant nose filter. Hyunjin had some pretty selfies of him with that heart filter — god he always looks good. You couldn’t help but laugh when you reached Jisung’s.

The boy sent you a picture of his wide eyes — a picture that reminded you of a psychopath ready to claim his next victim — with large bolded text that read “DON’T YOU DARE FUCK UP OUR 895 DAY STREAK” 

You quickly pointed your camera at your feet, snapping a picture of your award-winning giraffe socks that Seungmin gifted you for Mother’s day, and sending it to Jisung. There was no way you were letting that streak go. It had to be one of the biggest accomplishments of your life. 

Well… Marrying your best friend and having a son with him was probably your best accomplishment. But this Snapchat streak was a close second. Come on, you and Jisung were going on 3 years with that streak! 

Sure you cut it close — with it being 11:45 PM and all — but you kept the streak up anyway! 

Speaking of... 

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were forgetting something. Oh well! You get that feeling an awful lot and frankly — you’re usually forgetting something that isn’t important. Being a mom does that to you. 

The important things are taken care of. Your son’s presents are wrapped and hidden in the closet, you have the ingredients for his favorite meal for dinner, and you’ve… not prepared the cupcakes for his class tomorrow. 

Oh shit! 

That’s what you were supposed to be doing! 

Panic bubbled in your chest as you darted to the kitchen, quickly cracking eggs and pouring oil into the Kitchen Aid bowl before pouring in the 3 boxes of cake mix. You turned on the mixer and preheated the oven, thanking the gods that you somehow remembered.

Sure it’d be a long night, but you were still going to be able to give your son the joy of handing out cupcakes to his class. 

Ever since that snobby rich kid in his class brought in homemade cupcakes from his mom, who owns a fucking bakery you might add, your son has been wanting YOU to make homemade cupcakes for him to bring on his birthday. 

Of course you agreed and told your son you’d bake some cupcakes, not thinking about the fact that you were no baker. He’ll have to settle for box cake mix. He probably wouldn’t know the difference anyway. 

Once the batter was all mixed, you poured the cake mix into cupcake wrappers, until you filled all the muffin pans you owned — which is a surprising number considering Seungmin’s mom bought you one for a housewarming gift, your mom bought you one as a birthday gift, AND your son picked one for you for Mother’s Day.  

Oh yeah… you also bought one because you forgot about other 3 sitting at home. 

All those pans came in handy. You managed to fit all four into the oven, which was AMAZING because that meant you didn’t have to stay up until 3 AM waiting for all those damn cakes to bake. 

You scrolled through your phone a bit while the cupcakes baked, sending odd pictures to whoever was awake. Thank god Hyunjin and Jisung have HORRIBLE sleeping habits, or you’re sure you would have fallen asleep to let the cupcakes burn. 

Once your timer went off, you pulled the cupcakes out of the oven and set them on a platter to cool. 

The hard part was done. Now all you have to do is wait. Perhaps it’d be a good time to get in a cat nap? After all, you can’t do anything until the cakes are cool. 

You stretched your body out on the couch, resting your head on one of the throw pillows as you set an alarm for 5 AM. An hour should be enough time to frost the cupcakes. If not, then oh well. You tried. 

Tiredness took over your body as you sunk into the couch cushions, sleep taking over almost instantly. 

-----

Seungmin couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his lips as he woke up, yet again, at 4 AM for no apparent reason. This wasn’t the first night this happened, no… this has been going on for about a month — ever since you started staying up later. 

Perhaps he had a sixth sense when it came to you? 

Who knows… 

Seungmin reached over to your side of the bed, feeling a bit disappointed when his hand came in contact with the cold sheets. You didn’t come to bed last night. 

He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. You’ve been staying up later, you seem tired all the time, and he felt like he didn’t get to see you as often. Perhaps you were stressed out from work? Or maybe he did something wrong?

Seungmin rubbed his eyes as he sat up. He might as well go and check on you. Besides… something smells good in the kitchen and it’s making him want to snack.

Seungmin walked out into the living room, eyes widening when he saw the cupcakes in the kitchen. Why the hell were you baking cupcakes at 4 AM? He knew it was his son’s birthday today, but he didn’t see why you needed to make cupcakes this early. 

“Baby?” Seungmin shook your shoulder lightly. “Baby? Why are you sleeping out here? You should go to bed.” His thumb rubbed your arm as you started to wake up. 

Your hands reached out to rub your eyes as you smiled — missing your husband’s gentle touches, but wait… What time is it?

You shot up from the couch, frantically grabbing your phone to check the time. Oh thank god! It was only 4:15 AM. You still had time to frost the cupcakes. 

“Woah, woah, woah. Everything’s okay!” Seungmin wrapped his arms around you. “What’s going on?” 

“No time to talk. I have to frost the cupcakes.” You shot up from the couch, before grabbing a butter knife in the kitchen. 

“Hold on love.” Seungmin chuckled, “Why do you need to finish the cupcakes now? He won’t be eating them until after dinner right?”

“Do you remember that asshole kid with the baker mother?” You yawned. 

Seungmin laughed at your saltiness. “Of course.” 

“Well our son wanted me to make cupcakes to take in to his class.” You explained, frosting the cupcake in your hands.

“Why not buy them from the grocery store?” Seungmin asked as he leaned on the countertop. 

He couldn’t help but wonder why you were so worked up over these cupcakes. Surely his son wouldn’t mind you grabbing some — no offense — prettier cupcakes from a bakery, or from the grocery store down the street. 

“Because.” You put the… rather unique… looking cupcake into a container. “Asshole kid brought in homemade cupcakes.” 

Seungmin couldn’t help but laugh. “Fuck that asshole kid.” 

“Right?” You glided the knife over another cupcake, globbing frosting on the top. “Why couldn’t he bring in store bought cupcakes like everyone else?” 

“You know…” Seungmin grabbed a cupcake and bit into it. “It’s not going to be that big of a deal if you buy cupcakes from the store. If we do it now and pack them in those containers, he won’t know the difference.” 

“Asshole quit eating the cupcakes.” You smacked his arm, making him giggle. “And no. I’m not going to be that mom.”

“What mom?” Seungmin took another large bite of the cupcake in his hands. 

“The mom who buys cupcakes from the grocery store when her son asks for homemade cupcakes.” You glared at your husband. “I’m not going to let this be the reason our son resents us later in life and turns to a life of pimping and selling prostitutes.” 

Seungmin let out a loud snort at your comment, hand darting in front of his mouth to keep what was left of the chocolate cupcake in his mouth so it wouldn’t fly across the kitchen. “If this sends him down that road I think we have bigger problems.” 

“Just shut up and frost the damn cupcakes.” You chuckled, tossing an unfrosted cupcake in his direction. 

“Okay okay! Just quit waving that knife around.” Seungmin grabbed another butter knife and started frosting cupcakes alongside you. 

The two of you frosted in silence for a while, simply enjoying each other’s presence as you globbed frosting on the chocolate cupcakes. Although they didn’t look the prettiest, they were still homemade, and you felt like you deserved brownie points for that. 

Seungmin broke the silence after a while. “You know… He’s not going to hate you if you go buy cupcakes.” 

“But he requested these ones.” You mumbled. “He doesn’t ask for much, and this is his birthday!” You couldn’t help but sigh. “I just want his birthday to be special.” 

Seungmin smiled softly. “It will be. Especially when you’re going through all this trouble to make these.” 

“I know I should have made them yesterday, but I got so busy.” You sighed. “I had to re-teach him how to divide fractions, because his teacher fucking sucks. But first I had to re-learn how to divide fractions because apparently the education system can’t teach kids how to divide fractions the way they did when we were in school.” 

You put another cupcake into the container, pausing to rub at your eyes. “Then I had to go to work and deal with Shelly’s high-pitched bullshit, then come home and teach our son how to do his homework AGAIN.” Another sigh escaped your lips. “I just got overwhelmed.” 

“You know what would have made it easier?” Seungmin shoved the knife in the frosting. “If you relied on me more.” 

You knew this was coming. It was true, you did have a bad habit of just handling everything yourself because it was easier. You had a routine! You get your son up, make him breakfast, make him lunch, double-check his homework, take him to school, go to work, pick him up from school, help him with homework, make dinner for your family, play with your son before he has to go to bed, tuck him into bed, then use what little energy you have left to drag yourself into bed. 

Wow… Maybe he was right. 

“It’s just easier if I handle it myself.” You mumbled. “You’re busy and —” 

“Don’t act like you aren’t busy too.” Seungmin cut you off. “Look, I know my job is pretty demanding, but I can help out. He’s my son too. There’s no reason for you to do everything.” 

You smiled at him as you drowned another cupcake in frosting. “Why are you so amazing?”

Seungmin couldn’t help but laugh at the sad ensemble of cupcakes in front of you two. “You probably won’t think I’m amazing after hearing this, but these cupcakes look like shit.” 

You glanced at the mess of frosting and decided to admit defeat. “Okay fine, let’s go to the bakery and get some cupcakes. It’s 5 AM, I think they’re open now.” 

Seungmin kissed you on the forehead. “I’ll go get them. You go get some sleep.” 

“What? I don’t mind going with you.” You pulled your shoes on and grabbed your jacket. 

“No.” Seungmin yanked your jacket from your hands and threw it back on the coat rack. “You need to go get some sleep. And call in sick today, you don’t need to deal with Shelly’s bullshit running on 2 hours of sleep.” He chuckled. 

You smiled. “You take such good care of me.” 

Seungmin laughed. “I’m your husband. It’s my job.” 

“Now go get those cupcakes before our demon spawn wakes up.” 

[infinitesolarflare]

10-1-0: An Incarnate’s Tale

Oh, forgive me, I see there is some information you'd need for this, well my name is Sullivan Koji. I am the one who has taken over the quest of saving our lives, in our world man has been turning a blind eye for too long. There are few selected humans to be one of the "World Walkers". Being a World Walker means you have achieved the highest level of concentration, determination, and compassion.

I guess you should understand, the common conception of time, and the universe as we know it are wrong. Long ago mages, like us humans were created, there purpose was to save the earth from certain destruction. They lived long lives, and as the mages grew old, they became corrupt. This is when man truly entered the dark ages. As the mages battled one another they discovered that after killing a mage he would burn a bright red, then dissolve. The particles of what once made up the mages were thrown farther than any human could ever imagine. These particles are what humans know as stars. Gazing at stars is a human activity with a far greater importance than they know. The mages attempt to communicate with the World Walkers through this, to find if there are any left.

Now, this is where things fall into place. There were 10 mages each holding a section of the Portal. The Portal is the one thing given to the mages so they can infinitely travel in all directions. My mission, embody the mages, become the one and only Mage left. I have been chosen because what the common man takes as a dream, or nightmare is actually a tool. A tool so useful it takes years before one can even view another world.

The one goal for man is to reach the year, ZERO. Once there man can live at peace, without war, death, poverty, hunger, and hatreds. The ones who the mages see fit to achieve peace are reincarnated every 400 years or so, these souls have purpose, they are meant to reach ZERO. Common people are pawns in the world games of chess. Those souls are reincarnated almost every second of every day. Useless people, unworthy of the true paradise, some call it heaven, others don't believe in it. I have not been there, but I've seen it. My goal for now is to build the portal, show humans what life is supposed to be....

This is almost the end of our lesson together, I Sullivan Koji, have been reincarnated only 3 times so far. This is my story, these are my trials, my tests, and my tears. To reach ZERO I must concentrate once within each universe of the infinite universes. The Old Mages War took place on an open plain, which was the only universe at one time. When the High Mage Geishino was murdered his energy, not only burned a hole into time itself but also exploded into all directions, which we know as The Big Bang. Now there were 7 mages after the High Mage. They traveled throughout all universes, battling one another, the 10 portal pieces are somewhere within them, I WILL find them....

The radio in Sullivan's room is playing Good Times Bad Times by Led Zeppelin. He has been awake for 3 days, his eyes are bloodshot, his eyes water as he sits up. "where do I go today?" his thoughts seem as though they were talking to him aloud. Sullivan has only a few friends who understand his destiny. His life long friends, and blood brothers, James Blackard and Micheal Himaru. Sullivan, from an early age displayed signs of being the World Walker this universe needed. His friends thought he was short a few screws. As we entered highschool, I stared to understand what I was...who I was. I confided in them all that I discovered and they wanted to join me in my quest. Before they could do this I needed to explore how to travel through universes.

FEBRUARY 13, 2019

Friday, 06:17

"Its already time to start, ugh this will be a long day." I focused harder and with more energy than the day before, I attempted to complete my first Walk. I sat in complete silence, in a dark room. Which was located in the basement of my parents house, I was only 17 still. As my breathing slowed, and my pulse crawled to almost a complete stop, the very first visible portal appeared in front of me. And just as quickly as it came, it was gone...vanished into the abyss. "All that fucking work, just to have it amount to nothing" I was beyond frustrated at my poor performance at keeping my cool.

FEBRUARY 13, 2019

09:14

I walked out of the basement room, my eyes squinted almost completely shut from the glow of the sun. It was an abnormally warm and sunny day, usually the frozen tundra of which was once new England was gloomy, and around 10* at all times and just a terrible place to be. This is where I called home, this depressing wasteland of no bodies. Today the sun was in full force and it was a scorching 47*. It reminded me of when I was younger, in 2013 there were swimming pools, beach days, and ice cream trucks. That all became history in 2016, the poles reversed their magnetic fields and plunged the northern hemisphere into an ice age, at the same time causing uncontrollable droughts in the southern hemisphere. With scientific advances skyrocketing in the previous years, we genetically enhanced the human races' ability to adapt to changing environments. 22% of Earths population took to the adaptations well, the other 78% died. They all just died, deteriorating to unknown people of what seemed like a time long ago. These are the most important people to my research, proving most humans are just pawns in a war they could never comprehend.

FEBRUARY 13, 2019

11:43

"uh, I am stuffed" there was no response from my abandoned kitchen. Everyone I know, everyone I loved, gone, they never made it through the treatments. There was no known location of James or Michael, or even if they were alive... I thought of them everyday, they were my drive, the reason I kept myself from killing myself. "Today is the day I find my location for my new home, a research lab, something I can control completely. Underground, deep, safe from the environment, somewhere I can keep myself and others I find alive. I gather my gear, put on my jacket, and leave.

FEBRUARY 13

13:17

I walk through the wasteland and look at the building that were once stores, shops, restaurants, and malls. " I wonder which of these will be my lab? These all were places I used to go as a kid, I even worked at a few of them. I can't believe this was all destroyed in just 3 years.. I miss my old life." I came upon the WalMart near what used to be Springfield Massachusetts. I searched for an entrance, everything was locked, boarded up, and chained together. I wander around, coming across the outdoor section of the garden center. I look through the prison like gate, which once housed flowers, lawn mowers, and all the things you could ever need for gardening. "this is how I'm gonna do it!" I pry the gate open at one of the sliding sections of gate. I squeeze through and the gate, clashes against itself as I stand up. I walk to the door and discover a door, no chains, no boards...no locks. I back up about 30 yards, sprint full force into the door. It crashes open, when I readjust to the new surrounding, I am overcome with joy, hope, and a feeling of accomplishment. The abandoned WalMart was lit up, it had power! "Finally, I have found a suitable place to get started on my lab!" The shelves were still stocked with tools, electronics, food (which was mostly useless at this point), and clothing! I wander the empty store, looking for tools to aid my needs. I go to gardening and grab a pickaxe, shovel, and a wheel barrel. I go to the shoes section of the store, rip the shelves down and throw the shoes aside. After I clear myself a space of about 30ft by 30ft I begin my tunneling.

FEBRUARY 13

15:25

"Wow, this is harder than I expected" I had only accomplished a depth of about one foot on the square area. I knew I needed help...but from who? No one was around, I hadn't talked to a human in 743 days. "Fuck this, it'll never work, its not worth it!" I through down my shovel, stormed out of WalMart and hiked home.

I was tired from my failed excavation, I felt disappointed, like I had just failed my drivers test. "SULLIVAN!?" said a familiar sounding voice as I walked down my dirt road. I snapped around with intent to shoot whoever it was, as I drew my gun I smiled, shed a tear, and dropped it. "Michael? I have been searching for you since the day the world froze over...is it really you?" "yes sully, its me. I left my home in Florida to come see if you lived through this nightmare." "wow, I can't believe it, your actually here, you came back..." "well believe it, I'm here and I know James is around still, he told me he was going to his vacation house for a few years, I knew we would all meet up one day." well we need to find him! I hope he's alive.." as we entered my house, Micheal stopped at the front door, and he removed his shoes, just as my mother always wanted. "so where are your parents?" Michael said with a caring tone. "dead. They died once the ice appeared." Michael's face dropped to one of guilt, "I'm sorry Sull..." "Don't, its fine." I just

finished making tea, I went to the cabinet and grabbed the sugar. "still drink yours with 3 sugars mike?" "I see you haven't forgotten a damn thing sully, sharp as always."

CHAPTER 2

A SUCCESSFUL ENDEAVOR

As the sun rose from what seemed to be an unending night, Mike and I unbolted the lock's from our shelter, which had finally been w q the week before, the WalMart was now the number one safezone for surviving. Or so I thought, as we entered the isles of rundown old equipment, the smell of stale food and the sound of mice filled the store. Everything that was once civilization has been turned to rubble, the common man no longer has beliefs, morals, or

[onwardintolight]

Canon Catchup

With TROS coming out soon, I’ve been doing a lot of catchup on canon material that I’ve missed, particularly that which I think will be most relevant either for the movie or for Resistance Reborn (which I finished yesterday and will talk more about below). I will avoid major spoilers, as excited as I may be about some of them, haha, but I wanted to write out a few of my thoughts here while they’re fairly fresh.

A Crash of Fate by Zoraida Córdova and Galaxy’s Edge by Delilah Dawson—these don’t seem quite as relevant to TROS, but I read these two Galaxy’s Edge tie-in novels a few months ago and I thought I’d say a few words. I REALLY enjoyed the A Crash of Fate; it was such a lovely, heartwrenchingly beautiful story that reminded me a little of Lost Stars in the way that it focused in on a friendship/romance between two people who wouldn’t ever be main characters in the movies. The story was told primarily over the span of a single day, and wow did I not expect my heart to be pulled in so many different directions. Definitely one I will read again and again. 

I’m not sure I’ll do the same with Galaxy’s Edge. It was a super fun read, with some great, Indiana Jones-like action sequences, and I’d recommend giving it a go especially if you’re planning on ever going to Galaxy’s Edge—but it also had a few seriously problematic elements that I just couldn’t overlook. For one, NO WAY is Leia going to force Vi to work closely with someone who tortured her, and speaking of torture, many black people have already commented on the problematic nature of the excessive violence Vi undergoes in this book.

TFA and TLJ Junior Novelizations by Michael Kogge—I wanted to get a refresher on these stories, and since I’d never read the junior versions, I decided to give them a try. Overall I enjoyed these quite a bit. The TFA one was way better imho than the adult novelization by Alan Dean Foster, and both had some really meaningful character moments. There was one Leia scene at the end of the TFA one that brought me to tears.

Aftermath: Life Debt and Aftermath: Empire’s End by Chuck Wendig—I’d originally read the Aftermath trilogy as each book was released, but with everything I was hearing about Resistance Reborn, AND with the return of Palpatine in TROS and the promise of finally figuring out what’s been going on in the Unknown Regions, I thought it was a perfect time to revisit it. I skipped the first one (my least favorite of the three, and also my copy is in a box somewhere from when we moved last and the library’s audiobook copies were checked out) and read a synopsis instead to refresh my memory, then dived straight into Life Debt. Both of these books were as good or better than I remember them. I enjoyed them the first time, but I enjoyed them even better this time around. I feel like they’ve gained even more significance now. My HanLeia shippy heart is happy with some of their scenes, and also I rediscovered that I absolutely adore and would probably die for Norra, Wedge, Jas, Sinjir, Temmin, and crew.

Spark of the Resistance by Justina Ireland—this was a super cute but ultimately rather forgettable junior novel. The best part about it was seeing Rey, Poe, and Rose interacting. I may revisit it sometime after TROS and see if my unexpectedly skyrocketing feels for these characters (see below) makes it better.

The Poe Dameron comic run—I’d previously read the first trade (Black Squadron), the third (Legend Lost), and maybe a tiny bit of the second (The Gathering Storm), and aside from a really poignant bit in Legend Lost I just didn’t find myself very invested. This time around, however, flipped that on its head. Trades 4 and 5 (Legend Found and The Spark and the Fire) completely did me in, and without warning, I found myself 100% invested in Black Squadron. Poe, Jess, Snap, Karé, Suralinda, and L’ulo have officially joined the Aftermath crew in my list of characters I would die for. I just want all my babies to be okay! There were numerous moments in those last two trades (including the AMAZING Annual #2, a must-read for HanLeia new canon fans) which made me cry. I’m not even joking. So good. Well done, Charles Soule.

Resistance Reborn by Rebecca Roanhorse—Buckle up because I have a lot to say! I HIGHLY recommend reading the Aftermath trilogy, Bloodline, the Poe Dameron comics, and watching the Battlefront II campaign (which I talked about in another post) before reading this because HOLY MOLY. You won’t be lost if you don’t, but it will mean so much more to you if you do. Speaking of crying, I literally lost count of the moments that brought me to tears, and so many were significant because of how all the stories I mentioned and more have been so beautifully interconnected in this one. Wedge and Norra, Zay and Shriv, and so many others—each was given their due and it was amazing. One character’s surprise appearance had me practically on my knees with joy and heartbreak all at once, and I would say more but I’m really trying to keep that promise not spoil you, haha. 

If the Poe Dameron comic weren’t enough to win me over, this book has officially cemented Poe as one of my favorite sequel trilogy characters. Tbh, I’ve had trouble feeling much of a deep connection with any of the sequel trilogy leads—I love them, sure, but not like Leia, Han and Luke, the trio I grew up with. I’ve wanted to love them more, I’ve wanted to be more invested in them, but it just hasn’t happened. I’m really glad I read this book before TROS, because I think this has changed that. I was definitely getting a few OT golden trio vibes with Rey, Finn, and of course, my Boi™ Poe—except they’re completely their own characters, and I’m really starting to love them for who they are.

Overall, I absolutely loved this book, it felt really meaningful, and I can’t wait to read it again. 

That being said, when I finished it yesterday I felt a little bit disappointed, like it tasted a little bit bittersweet. I’m still trying to figure out why that is, but I think it may be down to three things: 

1) Though there were a number of fantastic character reveals, there were some obvious people absent and I can’t help but wonder where they are. I hope they’re not dead. I hope TROS includes some of these characters, too. I hope we get the rest of their stories either way.

2) The book is way too short. Especially on the heels of the Aftermath trilogy, this feels like only the first act of at least three. The ending comes way too soon, just after it really seems to get going. This I don’t blame the author or the publishers for at all; they are very limited, after all, in what they can portray leading up to TROS. But it really left me longing for more. This book had such a wonderful focus on character, but in the end, I wanted to see the character arcs get even more resolved than they do here... but I guess they really couldn’t be, and that’s what TROS is for. I just hope the movie does it well! I need all these people to be okay <3

3) It doesn’t shy away from grief, struggle, and the mental cost of war. Honestly, that’s part of why I love it so much, but I think that’s also part of why it left me feeling a little melancholy. The Resistance is in such a seemingly hopeless place, and while things do get better over the course of the book, there’s still such a terribly long way to go.The First Order rains merciless terror on anyone or any planet who gives even the slightest hint of opposing them or of aiding the Resistance. The whole galaxy is afraid. Poe struggles deeply with guilt and with how to make up for the horrible mistakes he made in TLJ (this is not brushed off in the slightest, not by the book or by the characters in it, and I appreciate that). Rey is confused and still unsure of her place in things. Characters are faced with the fact that they will almost certainly die because of their choice to join the Resistance, and it’s heavy. And Leia. Oh, Leia. I am deeply grateful to Roanhorse for her very realistic portrayal of Leia as someone who has lost so incredibly much (most recently her husband and brother), most definitely has PTSD, and probably is dealing with a bit of depression. Leia is weary. Leia struggles to keep stepping forward, struggles to figure out the next step for those she leads. Leia struggles to keep hoping. The battle between hope and despair in the face of terrible loss and terrible odds is very much felt in this book. But as ever with Leia, hope always wins in the end. By the end of the book, you can still feel the struggle, but hope wins. 

I think that because I personally relate so much to Leia, reading some of that was hard. Not because I feel like it’s contrary to who Leia is, but because I resonate with it so much and because it reminds me in a particularly strong way of some of the struggles I’ve dealt with that I’d like to forget. It’s no wonder that my heart felt heavy after I closed the book. But along with that, I also see how Leia perseveres, how she’s finally gotten to a place where she lets herself rely on and be comforted by others, and how she accomplishes the seemingly impossible just because she damned well refuses to give in to despair, no matter how tempting it may be. It reminds me that I, too, can accomplish incredible things despite all my struggles, despite the odds stacked against me.

Anyway, I highly recommend this book. Resistance Reborn hasn’t quite come up to the level of Bloodline or LPOA in my personal ranking, but with future rereads, it very well might someday. 

This book—along with all of this reading—has put me even more on the edge of my seat for TROS than I was before, if that’s possible. I desperately want it to be the best ending possible for the Skywalker Saga and for all these characters who’ve become so beloved to me. I’m trying to temper my expectation—TFA still isn’t especially my jam, after all, and while overall I’m a fan of the ST (the TROS trailers made me cry, for goodness sakes), I have a somewhat complicated relationship with it in general—but goddammit, I’m hoping anyway. There’s so much beautiful setup in the new canon EU, such a deliberate focus on character, and so many hints that this might reach through the whole saga and bring together something bigger than we can imagine. 

I’m hoping anyway.

[j-wonwootrash]

Joshua || It’s the Same Pt.3

Word count: 3.8k Genre: Prince!au, Romance, Slice of Life, Fluff, Drama, Classical!au A/N: Finally an update! ;-; I hope you like it! Enjoy reading

“My instincts did!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The letter in your hand was from the Prince himself. Of course it made you nervous but you were happy for this opportunity to showcase your dishes. You picked up a pen and brainstormed on the possible dishes the castle would enjoy.

The whole idea of the assessment was to look for young chefs with potential. You were aiming for a new chapter in life and obviously couldn’t stay in the restaurant forever. And the restaurant was something you established with the help of your Uncle, but you knew in your heart, the accomplishment wasn’t enough.

Your appetizer for the first round is a given- your restaurant’s borscht soup with toasted garlic bread. And the practice round given to all were only three times, it meant you only got to practice for each round for a day.

Free time came and you met with Umji and Yerin. “Did you come up with the dishes for upcoming rounds?” you asked them.

“Yeah I got everything planned out, but I suddenly felt lazy. Since we got here, do you want to explore the Royal Palace?” Yerin started to pull you without hesitation.

“I don’t know. It seems strict here. I won’t risk my chance when we came all the way here.” you sighed as Yerin stopped from your hold.

“Come on y/n,” Umji hugged you as she always did. “Just for a while in the garden. We could see their plantations and other things they had for ingredients.”

True enough, the Palace has all ingredients and especially the rare ones. So rare that it got you curious. You couldn’t resist her plead and just went along with them. “Alright, just for a while.” you repeated her words, letting them pull you to places the walked.

They continued to pull your arms and went down the stairs of the courtyard. It was like a maze as you all ran to the garden. There was an area where the rest of the girls were. Most of them chilled at the grass and some dared to sleep. You needed rest, and it was today. All the other participants recognized you and soon approached to where you were.

“It’s y/n!” “The girl who made business already?” “Aw I’m happy to be able to see her!”

You shyly smiled to their comments. As humble as you always were, you shook their hands when they grabbed them. However there were some whispers, disagreeing to the fact someone with experience would join the assessment.

“Can’t believe someone like her has the guts to even come here. Don’t you think it’s unfair?” Sora nudged her friend, who had her eyes on you since.

“Quiet Sora. It’s better to keep silent, as it’s always the best weapon. Right Y/N?” Hayoung raised her brow. The sarcasm in her voice got into you. “If she thinks this platform will make her restaurant more known, go ahead. No one is stopping her anyway.” she left with her arms closed.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Noon came, you queued at the Royal Canteen with Yerin and Umji, along with few other new friends who sided with you after Hayoung’s confrontation.

“Why would she do that?” Bona slammed her fork with her fist, nearly causing the tray to fall. “That’s too mean!”

“So what if you’re experienced? It’s not like you intend to boast what you know.” Jinri stared at Hayoung.

“Calm down girls. Let her be. I’m not affected,” you chuckled as you slurped from the soup. “She can say whatever she wants to say.”

“How can you not be mad? She literally insulted you.” Yerin rolled her eyes.

You didn’t want to waste your time and for sure you didn’t come all the way to the Palace to pick up a fight with anyone. “No matter which way you think of it, we all have the same goal. And I just wanted to challenge myself that’s all.”

It was amusing to see your friends react like that. You looked around and everything was grand and gold. All the way from the chairs, tables, decorations. High quality food too. The meals for the day were fixed. There were reminders stating that those dishes created by participants are of similarities with the Royal Kitchen’s will be disqualified.

You wondered if there would be a winner from the boys and one from girls, or one overall. What was the prize? Money? A chance to showcase your dishes in the Royal Palace and eventually the country? Perhaps the world? It was a big scale and you knew you wouldn’t mess up.

As you sat at one table, you felt eyes were on you, just like earlier. Intimidating, you thought. You wanted people to know you as an ordinary girl, not as some known chef whom everyone knew was successful. You tried to keep humble as possible, but giggles and light squeals were heard when you barely look at their direction or wave at them. You spotted Hayoung and her group, four of them, which one you knew by the name Sora. She squinted her eyes at you when you locked you gaze with her.

“Look at that angelic face she put on.” Sora grunted. “Ah so annoying.”

“Keep it low,” Hayoung started. “We just have to see the results at the first round.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Jun knocked nonstop onto the door for around ten minutes. Joshua grunted on his bed with the blanket all wrapped over him. No give me 5 minutes.. Insomnia attacked me again.. It was true, the Prince had sleepless nights from overthinking. And it got the best in him.

“Your Highness,” Jun called the boy for the tenth time. “It’s past noon and I have news for you.”

“Oh what could be so important that you have to knock on my door continuously for five minutes?” Joshua opened the door and his aides waited for him, smiling as they entered his room without hesitations.

“So important that you really have to know.” Seungcheol touched the prince’s shoulders and sat him onto the couch. “Is there a missing staff? Should I assign one for it? Does Her Majesty need me to run errands to the neighboring city at the West? Or do-” Joshua started to blurt out the possibilities of his aides’ news.

“I heard from a week ago at the Girls’ courtyard that there was a heat up among two girls. Nothing serious though, but I did hear one of them is known all over downtown.” Jun sat with his elbow rested on his knees, excited to see the smile from the prince’s face.

“Some even thought it was unfair of her to join this assessment.” Wonwoo fixed his glasses.

“Why? Anyone could join, even those with experience. It’s all open to everyone.” The Prince combed his hair as he finished dressing up.

“Well apparently some don’t have a broad understanding.” Wonwoo sighed, reading his book again.

“Girls.” Seungcheol and Jun said in unison.

Joshua chuckled at his aides’ reactions. When he finished his preparation, he unbuttoned his collar. His aides stared at him with furrowed eyebrows. “What? It’s choking me. You guys wouldn’t want me dead right?”

“No, of course not, Your Highness. It’s just,” Jun pursed his lips before breaking into a smile.

“Just what?” Joshua asked him sternly. “You look so confident now, unbuttoning the collar. All because you believed in the possibility she might be here in-” Jun smacked the prince’s shoulder lightly.

“Again with her!” Joshua reacted that his echoes reached Sir Hwijae at the end of the corridor. Why must he always bring her up? 

“We just had to see your flustered face before you head to the first round.” Seungcheol laughed, stomping his foot in emphasis.

“I’m not blushing!” Again his echoes made Sir Hwijae’s steps faster to the approach the prince.

“Your Highness, I believe your voice is too loud.” he bent slightly as he whispered to Joshua.

The young man gestured that it was not his fault that he reacted in such way, rather it were his aides. Sir Hwijae was not convinced at the prince’s reason and treated it as a mere excuse. Joshua sighed heavily when he walked away from the boys. He fingered ‘I’ll keep my eyes closely on you all’. Seungcheol, Wonwoo and Jun just laughed, waving to the blushing prince.

Sir Hwijae was interested on why Joshua’s aides made fun of him. It was the first time he’d seen such an expression from the prince, and clearly he wouldn’t let him get away with it until he hears the reason. “So. Why were you all red, Your Highness?”

“Even you Sir Hwijae? You know me better than them and I wasn’t red!” Joshua stopped in his tracks, tempted to bring out his sword. If he knew this day would come to teasing him, he would’ve stayed in his room all day, away from his aides, and away from the new addition- Sir Hwijae.

“Lies. I see lies written all over you, Your Highness.” Sir Hwijae smirked as he noticed the young man’s onto the sword. “And you might want to release your hold onto your weapon. It’s not a good self-control.”

“Well what do you think made me lose my self control?!” he rubbed his face with his fabric gloves. “Nevermind, bring me to the Royal Hall.” 

“As you wish.” 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The doors of the Royal Hall were huge, and you stood in front of them made you and the rest of the participants looked tiny. You never felt so nervous your entire life- exclude the fact that you accidentally put too much salt onto your Uncle’s favorite dish, and Prince Joshua’s visuals that sent you to cloud-nine. Here we go..

Once the doors opened, you gave your friends a ‘thumbs up’ for a good performance and appetizer. You were given numbers for the preparing station and all participants were not separated in genders. You thought of how on earth would the Royal Family eat all one hundred dishes. Obviously it wasn’t a matter for you to be bothered but a hundred- oh wow. Before realizing, the bell chimed, marking the start of the gathering all ingredients.

The hall divided into four sections, north, south, east and west. All have their own areas of ingredient stalls. It was overwhelming, the crowds who rushed at the stalls you couldn’t even get through, they grabbed most ingredients and you were afraid that there wouldn’t be enough for your recipe.

You managed to get the basics- onion, garlic, potatoes, carrots, mushrooms and white cabbage. Bread for the sides. The main ingredients- a combination of beef and pork and some brisket to add more flavors. All you needed right now were the important ones- tomatoes and parsley roots.

As soon as you reached the almost-empty stall, you ran into Sora, grabbing the last of tomatoes and parsley roots. She waved them at you, mocking you as she left for her station. Ah crap I needed those.. Wait did she just stuck out her tongue to me? The bell chimed again, marking the end of ingredient preparation. So you just grabbed whatever that was left.

You ran back to your station as you started to cook. You needed to make meat stock because it usually took a few hours to settle, so you started to julienne the basic ingredients and figure out the flavor of the borscht. As you waited for the meat stock, you rechecked the ingredients you took. They were all there and the only problem were the tomatoes and parsley roots.

Oh gosh.. I just hope this works.. Fingers crossed. 

With hours of ached necks and hands, and all parts of your body. The first round finished and you needed to wait for another hour for the results.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You walked back and forth at the Royal Canteen, your friends were bothered by the way you behaved. They’ve never seen you so agitated before and it worried them. You bit your lips and shook your wrists alternatively, even though they hurt from earlier.

“Hey, what’s troubling you?” Yerin asked, trying to calm you.

“That Sora is starting to get onto my nerves.” you sighed.

“Why? What did she do?” Bona twitched her nose.

“That blabber-barbie pig-squealing mouth of hers! I’m gonna kill-” Yerin and Jinri prevented her from moving.

“She took the last tomatoes and parsley roots. And I really needed those for my dish.” you tried not panic, but Jinri’s reaction wasn’t helping.

“Oh my gosh y/n I just really hoped it turned out well!” her high-pitched voice muffled by Umji.

“It’s okay y/n. I believe your instincts are great.”

Sigh at least Umji understands how I feel.. Time seemed to pass by quickly and the results came as the Royal Guards posted onto the bulletin board. You friends pushed you from behind, afraid to look at the results. You closed your eyes halfway as you were approaching the posts.

3.. 2.. 1.. Your friends’ screams went ahead of your eyes. “We got in!” When you opened your eyes, they all hugged you. “Y/N it’s a miracle that you got in!”

You skimmed through the lists of names and when you stumbled across your name, your heart raced. “I got in?” Soon you sat down, jaw-dropped at the results.

“YOU got in?!” Sora’s voice rang the kitchen. “I was so sure there were no ingredients left for you! I even mocked you!” she pointed a finger at you.

“So you had it all planned out?” you spoke sternly. “I should’ve known you had that kind of attitude in you.”

“I made the exact dish you did but you- you unfair experienced jerk, how dare you get in!” she practically inhaled and exhaled heavily.

“Gladly there were tomato paste and parsnips at the very back of the stall. In case you didn’t see it, well, I feel sorry for you.” you smiled at her as you were about to leave.

“You- you maniac!” she jolted as you suddenly turned around, a different look from before.

“Fresh tomatoes are great for borscht, I gotta admit. But tomato paste are commonly used nowadays and it makes it slightly better. And don’t think I didn’t see you sneaking into my room to look for my plans for the rounds of assessment..” Her eyes widened, gulping with all her might.

“You s-saw-”

“I saw you.” you paused.

“But you were-” she quivered.

“Wide awake.” your eyebrows raised, immediately taken Sora aback. She left with embarrassment all over her. The stares towards her trailed until she left the Canteen. Hayoung went up to you, and she stuck her arm out. “It was nice to know your quick thinking got you substitutes. Good work.”

There wasn’t sincerity in her voice, but the acknowledgement was enough. “Thanks and, it was nice to know that you cooked gumbo with a touch of Tabasco. Good work too.” you shook her hand.

Hayoung gave a quick smirk. “Hawk eye. Nice. Just you wait, Y/N.” Her comment left a lot of curiosity on you as she twirled around to leave.

“I’ve never seen y/n so badass! In a good way though!”

“Only when needed.” you nodded, the girls hugged you as they assumed you took victory.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Joshua and his aides did rounds of patrols at the Royal Garden. He couldn’t wait to stand up after hours of waiting and only to get a few sips and bites from the appetizers. Jun started with his teasing again, where his chin nearly got cut by Joshua’s sword. “How was the food, Josh?” Seungcheol armed the guy.

“It was great.” he gestured how intense it was and the participants were all focused. “They have attitudes we need for the Palace. So far I saw-” he paused, brushing through Wonwoo and Seungcheol. “Her..”

Wonwoo looked back to where Joshua was looking. “You saw her? Where?” The Canteen was full of people that he thought it was impossible for Joshua to spot the girl he met downtown. “I don’t see her.”

“I thought I did see her.” Joshua mumbled in a low voice, quite disappointed to not be able to see you.

They continued to walk around the Garden for fresh air and sat down at a glass house where it was only exclusive for registered members of the Royal Palace. Joshua took out his guitar, tried to compose a few bars to kill time before heading to another errand.

They heard screams from the Canteen and they immediately got up to see. Joshua, despite of wanting to see you, couldn’t accept the misbehavior within the Palace. He placed his guitar on top of the case and as he started to walk, a hand stopped him by the shoulders.

“Your Highness,” Wonwoo called him in a low voice. “You can’t go in there. You can’t expose yourself to them until the end of the assessment. You know what will happen if they see you.”

“I’m not against Joshua into going to the Canteen.“ Jun peeked from behind Wonwoo. “He will see her.”

“On second thought, I won’t go.” Joshua put his finger up, his eyes trailed to Jun as he pointed to him. “I’d rather die in secretly than to die in front of her.” He took his guitar and headed to the ranch.

Seungcheol, Jun and Wonwoo stood still in silence, not sure what to say after the Prince’s remarks.

“Did he just admit his feelings?” “Nah I think didn’t.” “Dude he clearly likes her.” “You did record that in your tape, yes?” “Thought you’d never ask.”

“Guys? I got an errand to do! Escort me!” the prince called, not a single hint of what his aides have witnessed. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Prince Azel of the Southern Seas will be informed as soon as he gets this letter. I bid you farewell, Prince Joshua.” a messenger bowed 90 degrees, Joshua and his aides soon later left with their horses.

Joshua knew as the next heir to the throne, fulfilling his duties were of manners and reputation. Not only because he was obliged to, but because it was already part of his nature. They stopped by a forest and rested their bodies out. Riding for two and a half hours was tiring and if there was one thing they’d do as they rested, they’d eat.

“You still have that basket from the girl downtown?” Seungcheol laughed as he drank from the juice box.

“It comes in handy.” Joshua popped a grape into his mouth, his smile visible to the others.

“It is for keeps, right Your Highness?” Jun yet again started with the teasing.

“Yes, it is for keeps. Wait wha-?” he looked to his aides and they were all grinning.

“Stage one of knowing if he’s in-love: Keep him busy during a conversation and he’ll eventually repeat or agree on what was said.” Jun high-fived the boys with his hands.

“You guys set me into a trap!” Joshua threw pieces of bread, the others shielded themselves with paper plates.

“Manners, Your Highness!” “Where’s your courtesy?” “Your Highness, I believe our plan was indeed successful.” “No! You all planned this! I should’ve known when you were walking slowly behind me!” “Busted aren’t we?” “Dead meat you say!” 

━━━━━━━━���━━━━━━━━━━━

Another week came by and you were at the Preparation Room for experimenting the dish for the second round. You wiped your sweat that rolled down at the temples. It takes time and effort to perfect the dish and you made sure to move faster at the time of gathering the ingredients.

How long has it been since you practiced. The only thing that told you the time was the sunset behind the glass window. You’ve been there for nearly twelve hours and you have skipped breakfast and lunch. Well it does happen when you focus too much on something. You decided to call it a day and head back to the dorms.

As you walked past the small pond of the Preparation Room, you head spun and felt someone’s chest hit your forehead. “I’m sorry!” the voice cracked, making you smile as you looked up.

“Nah it’s alright.” you chuckled, your eyes locked to his. “Oh I know you!” he said, gesturing the all of you.

“Pardon? Have we met?” you tilted your head and fixed the bag that hung on your forearm.

“Nope, but you’ve been the heated talk at the boys’ dorm. It was a great comeback you did to Sora.” he scratched his head and brought out his arm for a handshake. “I’m Mingyu, #46 at the station.”

“Oh wow, I never thought it’d reach there but thanks. I’m y/n, #30 at the station.” you shook his hand, questioning yourself how he knew Sora.

“By the looks of it, you’re probably wondering why I know Sora.” he gestured you to walk with him out the small pond. “She’s my cousin. I know she could be all annoying but it’s the way she is. Meanwhile me, I just pretend I didn’t know the girl.”

“Well she did sneak into my room to find out what I planned for the first round.” you nodded your head not trying to remember it again.

“Yeah I heard! Ah that’s kinda embarrassing on my part.”

You both talked until he dropped you off by your dorm. He didn’t have to, but you figured it was just his way of being friendly. “I hope to see you at the last round.” you waved him a good night.

“What made you say that?” he cupped his mouth to increase volume.

“My instincts did! You seem a great chef!” He waved back and you headed to your room. Upon unlocking the knob, you saw Yerin and Umji on your bed.

“Oh y/n~” they both said in unison.

“Hm? Why’re you two here?” you placed your back and immediately hugged them back. “Our rooms are in the middle of renovation. So they asked us to stay at one room, and we chose yours.” Yerin wrapped a blanket around all of you. “It’s just like back at the restaurant that we’ve been like this.”

“Yerin, it’s only been a week and you act as if we left home since a year ago.” you hit her forehead with a notebook.

“Yeah yeah, a week has passed and there’s already drama.” she rolled her eyes.

“Can we not talk about it?” Umji pleaded as she was not the type to meddle into fights or confrontation. “It’s just a small one.” 

“C’mon, we got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

A long day indeed. Time passed by quickly and it was hard to believe the second was already tomorrow. Whatever happens, you all decided to give the best you got.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

i.t.s masterlist

>> new beginnings, new encounters and new discoveries in a completely new world. you were suddenly signed up for a cuisine assessment for the royal family of the country. how will you do? <<

< prev. || part three || next >

[lifeofmarvvel]

Finals Frenzy and Christmas Cheer- Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Finals are coming up with the end of the semester. As per every year, stress levels are through the roof. Luckily, your good friend Peter agrees when you ask (trick) him to help you. The major problem, though, is that it just doesn't feel like Christmas despite it being less than a month away. You ramble about this to Peter, assuming he's not listening. 

With the aid of your sister, Astrid, Peter finds how to lift your spirits after all. Plus a little more.

Word Count: 6447

A/N: Wow, I never thought I would write a one-shot that's so long. I hope you all enjoy it! Also, in advance, sorry if you do have a teacher named Mr. Brown that you do find interesting. Astrid is sneaky and I loved writing her. If -insert bug pun here- had an excess of smiles, this one has an excess of laughter. This started out as fluff without plot but then it grew its own plot and here we are. Warning: I've never been on a date let alone have a boyfriend so if some of it comes off as awkward that's why. I also have never been to NYC, so sorry for any possible inaccuracies. Thanks for reading! Merry Christmas!(

Y/F/S) stands for Your Favorite Scent

“Finals are upon us!”

The saying was spread far and wide across Midtown High School. It was finals week- or, as some would rather say, Doomsweek. The final stretch before break. Make it or break it. The most stressful week of the year. Insanity week. Torture. The end of us all. Final frenzy. You get the picture.

The same could be said about you. You were drowning in classwork. Final papers, presentations, and projects before an influx of study study study for all the tests. If one wasn’t carefully planning things out, it got overwhelming and fast.

Inside of school, it was all anyone could focus on. Outside of school, it seemed society didn’t know finals existed. The holidays were approaching and the atmosphere reflected it- though not the actual weather yet. Everywhere, Christmas carols were being played. Ads for all kinds of gifts showed on TV. People dressed in red and green, bundled up for the cold that NYC presented starting fall, as per usual. Christmas cheer was spreading- and quickly, as the days past.

None of that translated into school. Instead of carols, classical music was being played to help focus, if there even was any playing. There was no time to watch TV unless you were procrastinating all your homework. Students dressed in sweats, coffee mugs not too far away, overcome with exhaustion. Finals fear was spreading, more like it.

Of course, there were a few kids who were in the Christmas spirit. The kind of kids that started listening to Christmas music at midnight on November First. The kind that wore ugly sweaters every day as soon as the weather permitted. The kind of kids that would celebrate Christmas year round.

You were not one of those kids. The stress was starting to get to you, and none of your due dates had even arrived yet. The pressure was too much. Instead of doing your homework, you devised a plan to get your friend, Peter, into sorting it out for you. He was top of the class- surely, he had no stress over finals.

Today, you planned on taking action during class. If you got it out at the right moment, he’d have no choice to say no before class started. Details could be talked about after school.

You walked into your shared class, scanning the room for him. Easily spotting him and Ned, you made your way over, plopping down in the seat next to him. “Hey, Peter. Hi Ned,” you greeted before joining in on their conversation.

A few minutes later and a swift glance at the clock told you it was time. In a lull of conversation, you interjected, “Peter, you’re going to help me with my finals after school today and the rest of finals week. At my house. Thanks.”

Peter opened his mouth to respond, but the teacher began to talk. “Good morning, class. Today we will be talking about-” It didn’t take long for Peter to close his mouth, frowning slightly, and shift his focus to the lesson. Mission accomplished.

It actually worked. You couldn’t believe it. After school- as you hadn’t had any other classes together- Peter cornered you at your locker. You exchanged a rundown of details and with a text to May, he agreed. You offered Ned the same invite over, but he declined, stating he had a project to work on with Betty.

Unfortunately for Peter, you didn’t stay focused for long. You were in your room with the door open- a habit formed because of your parents’ rule, even if neither of them was currently home. You sat in your swivel chair, switching between spinning yourself dizzy and rocking back and forth, books long forgotten. Peter sat on your bed, book splayed across his lap. His head tilted sideways as he watched you ramble.

“C’mon, (Y/N),” he pleaded once again. “I’m here to help but I can’t do that if we don’t actually study.”

Your ramble continued, completely ignoring his words. “-and now it doesn’t even feel like Christmas time anymore! You know, when we were little it felt like it snowed alllll of December. Now, it decides to snow once or twice in November, and then maybe, just mayybbbeee once on, like, Christmas Eve or something and not again until, like, mid-January with a snowstorm. It’s not fair! That’s part of what makes Christmas feel like Christmas!” You stopped, pointing a finger at him. “Ya feel me?”

He sighed. “Yes,” he responded, knowing if he tried again you’d continue to talk over him again.

“It doesn’t even feel like December is part of the problem. It feels like it’s supposed to be November. That month certainly went by too fast for my liking. One day, it was August, suddenly, it’s FINALS?!”

Out of nowhere, you whipped up straight, eyes wide. “Oh, finals! That’s why you’re here! I’m so sorry, Peter! Now, let’s get back to studying!” You grabbed your book and settled back on your bed next to him. It thankfully didn’t take too long for you to get back into the swing of things.

You were in the middle of studying for your history final when the front door slammed open. “(Y/N)! I’m home!” your little sister interrupted, breaking the atmosphere.

Great. So she was home from school. She was young enough that she was in middle school but that didn’t stop her from being nosey. “Where are you?” She popped her head into your room. “Ooo, you have a boy over! I can’t wait to tell Mom!”

You gave her a hard look. “Dude, seriously? Anyway, this is Peter and he’s my friend and he’s here to help me study for finals.” You turned towards Peter. “Pete, this is my sister, Astrid. She’s a pain but we love her anyways.” She pouted, bottom lip sticking out.

He laughed at your words. “Hello, Astrid. Nice to meet you.” He stuck his hand out, which she hesitantly shook. She scanned both Peter and the room, then nodded.

Astrid left the room, calling out “No making out! I don’t wanna see it!” as she left. Immediately, you could feel your face heating up. Peter’s face turned bright red as well.

You adjust the collar of your shirt. “Alright… we can go study in the living room if that makes you more comfortable?” It came out a question even though that wasn’t your intent. “Plus, we can keep an eye on her, then…” With Peter’s nod, you gathered your stuff and promptly switched rooms.

Unlike Astrid’s claims, no make-outs ever happened and never will happen between you and Peter. He was your friend. You didn’t think about him like that. Nope. Not at all. You never ever ever ever ever wondered what it would be like to cuddle with him, to run your hands through his hair, to be the focal point of his thoughts….. Nope. Never happened. Never will.

Okay so maybe you were lying to yourself a bit.

But it’s not like you had time to do that, even if you wanted to. It was the last day of finals- the last day of the first semester. Only a few more tests and you’d be free. All that hard work would’ve paid off. After the- incident- with Astrid, you and Peter either met up at his house (May was the best, honestly) or at the library. Peter’s help was working you wonders. So far, finals had passed by easier than in years past.

Before you could go off to class the sight of Peter waving in your direction caught your eye. When you caught his eye, he beckoned you over. “Hey!” he greeted cheerfully.

“Hey,” you responded back. “I’m so ready for this day to be over already. I’m home-bound.”

He laughed. “Uh, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house? Ned and I are gonna watch a few movies in celebration.” He rubbed the back of his neck a bit, avoiding eye contact for some odd reason.

“Sure! Sounds great!” You pulled out your phone to give your parents a heads up.

“Great!” He wrapped one arm around you, pulling you in for a short one-sided hug as best he could around your backpack. “You’re the best!” He hesitated, then kissed you on the cheek. With that, he was gone, lost to the sea of exhausted students.

Your cheek tingled as you stood there, thrown off guard. Had that happened? Your mom’s reply had distracted you, leaving you underprepared for what Peter just did. Well then. You scanned the crowd, trying to see if you could catch sight of Peter, to no avail. With a shrug, you headed off to class. You could ponder this more between tests later.

True to your word and his, you and Peter met up at your locker after school. After gathering your things, you took the subway. You were making good time- that is until Peter insisted on entering Delmar’s for his daily sandwich.

Peter was greeted with a “Hey there, Mr. Parker,” when he entered. “Is that your girlfriend? The girl you talk so much about?”

Immediately, Peter’s ears went red, as well as some of his cheeks. “Uh- excuse me? N-no. (Y/N) and I- we’re- we’re not dating. We’re just friends. Just friends, Mr. Delmar.” He took a small step away from you in an attempt to create space between you.

Mr. Delmar gave Peter a look that to Peter spoke volumes. To you, it said nothing. “Okay, well, Number Five for you, right? Anything for the lady?” Peter nodded and looked at you expectantly.

“Oh, no, I don’t need anything. You see, I have the last lunch of the day and so I didn’t eat too long ago. I’m fine,” you shrugged off.

“C’mon, (Y/N). You’re always hungry. And don’t worry about money. It’s on me,” Peter said. Delmar gave him what looked like an “I-told-you-so” face. He was in for a round of questioning later.

Knowing Peter wasn’t going to give up, you looked at the menu. “Okay, fine. I’ll have the….Number Seven, I guess.” Delmar got to work promptly, and soon enough, the two sandwiches sat on the counter. Peter paid, and you left with many thanks.

You walked for a bit, side by side, playing with the foil on your sandwich. “Uh, thanks, Pete. But can I ask what that was all about?”

Peter glanced sideways at you before looking forward, avoiding a haphazard cyclist. “What was what about?”

You gave him a stern look. “You know what I mean, dork.” You continued to tread next to him, almost running into him when he took an unexpected turn. This wasn’t the way to his house. Where was he going?

Peter gulped. “It’s about nothing. I mentioned you once or twice and he assumed things. He likes May, so don’t put it past him to do that.” He stopped and faced you once you started tugging on his coat.  “I, uh, was thinking we could go eat at a nearby park before heading over to the apartment?” He sounded uneasy like he wasn’t sure he had you convinced.

“Peter Parker, are you stalling?”

“Uh- maybe?”

“And why would that be?” It didn’t matter how long you’d been friends- Peter would always give in to your stern questioning. If he was being honest, he’d admit he was afraid of you to some degree.

“Well, you see- Wait, no, that won’t work. I- no, Ned and I- Nope, uh-”

“Peter cut the rambling.” You smiled despite yourself.

He continued anyway. “Peter-” you cut him off. “Is Ned going to be late?”

Thankful, he nodded. “Yeah, and I didn’t want to get home before he finished what he’s doing.”

“Then why didn’t you just say so? Nerds, the both of you.” You shook your head, exasperated. A voice in the back of your head told you he was being suspicious but you ignored it. Peter did odd things all the time around you. It was normal by now.

Peter grinned sheepishly, then continued on his way. He led you to an empty park due to the lack of snow or heat. The benches seemed to be in fair condition, making for a nice spot for a conversation.

The conversation flowed as smooth as a river. Granted, being friends for so long helped with that. You talked about finals and how you thought you fared. Even though you only had one class together it didn’t mean you didn’t have the same teachers throughout the day. Peter suggested a few more activities you could do throughout break as well. You asked him about his Stark Internship and how that was going to work over the holidays. He briefly mentioned something about Mr. Stark doing something large scale and something small scale within a few days of each other that he’d have to go to but that was it.

The sandwiches were soon consumed, the foil balled up and shot into the nearby trash can. Laughter rang through the air from the two of you. There couldn’t be a better solution to the stress finals had given you than this.

Time passed quickly, and before you realized, it was 4:30. Neither teen noticed until Peter’s phone started yodeling. In the middle of an over exaggerated storytelling, Peter jumped and scrambled through his coat pockets, trying to remember where he had put it.

“Hey, Ned. Uh-huh. Yep. Yeah, gotcha. We’ll head on over now. Thanks. Sorry for getting distracted. Yep. You too. See ya. Bye.” Peter hung up and turned towards you. “Ned’s done with what he was doing and is at the apartment now. Said May let him in. You ready to go?”

“Yep. Let’s go, Parker. Race you there!”

Eight minutes later, you stood in the elevator, out of breath and defeated. Okay, so challenging Peter wasn’t your best idea but it was far from the worst. “Cheater,” you grumbled, arms crossed across your chest.

Peter only let out a small chuckle. “I didn’t cheat, you’re just a sore loser. If anything, you’re the cheater; I’m not the one who threw their hat in the other person’s face.”

Your frown deepened. “You suck.”

He laughed more. Goodness, what a sound that was. “Just you wait, (N/N).” Now, what on earth was that supposed to mean? Either he was being overconfident in your binge-watching tonight or something else was going on.

The elevator dinged, the doors opening. A quick trip down the hall led you to the Parkers’ apartment. You expected to open the door to Ned on the couch, May grabbing snacks in the kitchen, and the home menu of a movie on the TV. Instead, you got a shock.

A foot not even in the house yet and you were blown away. You convinced yourself you must’ve somehow opened the wrong door until Peter lightly nudged your back to let him enter. All you could do was stand there in awe.

There was a party. In the Parkers’ apartment. A Christmas party. At Peter’s house.

You blinked and rubbed your eyes. “Someone pinch me. There’s no way this is real.”

Christmas music softly streamed through the room. Cookies, pine, vanilla, and spices filtered through the air. Conversations provided a low rumble beneath the clinks and laughter. A Christmas tree stood proudly in the corner, presents spilling from underneath. Paper snowflakes hung from the ceiling; the whole room screamed holiday party.

Someone next to you chuckled. “I can assure you, this is real. I took the time to set it up myself.”

A gasp escaped you before you could stop it. A quick spin launched you into the arms of the one and only May Parker. “You did this?” you asked in awe. “Wow! Great job! I love it! It’s amazing. You really outdid yourself, May.”

“I know, right?” she said with a wink. “Snack’s are in the kitchen when you’re hungry. The teens have been waiting on you guys. They were about to start without you. Adults are in the dining room if you need us.” She left, entering said room and sitting down.

Peter caught your gaze and blushed. “I know you weren’t feeling the Christmas spirit, and May’s been looking for an excuse to host a party, so I decided to combine the two.”

Your smile widened. “Thank you, Peter. I love it. Is this why you stalled?”

“Yeah.” His eyes shone as if an idea popped into his head. “Does this mean I don’t suck anymore?”

You pretended to think over it. “I don’t know….” At his irresistible puppy dog eyes, you caved. “Yes.”

His face instantly lit up. “If that’s the case, then you don’t suck either. C’mon, we needa join the others.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you into the living room.

Many of your friends sat in various locations around the room. Ned and Betty shared the couch with MJ. A few of your other friends sat in the armchairs or on the floor. Right smack in the middle was your headache that comes and goes. Astrid.

She noticed your skeptical look upon seeing you enter the room. “Well, look who finally showed up! And holding hands!” You realized Peter’s hand still wrapped in yours even though there was no need anymore. Dropping it, your face heated up. “You’re late, sis.”

“Yeah, that’s Peter’s fault, Ash. Not mine.” Peter simply shrugged. Astrid continued to give instructions, and you soon found yourself seated next to Peter, leaning against the couch. The group was about to start a game when you had arrived, and they went through the trouble to make sure you knew how to play.

The Name Game. Object of the game: two teams go head to head to see who can name more people. One person goes at a time. They pull a slip, read the name, and describe the person to see if anyone can call out the correct name. Each turn is taken in three-minute intervals. It’s fast-paced, funny, and can last until the names run out.

Two teams had been made when you and Peter arrived. Peter, you, Michelle, and some other kids you didn’t know that well made up your team. The other team consisted of Ned, Betty, and some of your classmates, as well as Astrid.

Soon enough, the teams took off, neck and neck. Many rounds with laughter and terrible accents passed by. It was finally your turn to go. You stood up by the bowl on the coffee table. “Ready. Set. Go!”

You pulled a name few names and your team guessed successfully. Pulling out another, you looked and stifled a giggle. You knew what to do for this one. “It’s your favorite adult,” you said to Peter.

“May?” he guessed.

“Uh, no. That’s my fault for not assuming that’d be your answer. Your second favorite adult.”

Peter looked confused for a moment before it dawned on him. “Mr. Stark.”

“Yep!” At your interaction, the group laughed. You pulled another name. “Uh, so they speak monotone, they’re the most boring person I know. I know at least two people failing their class-”

“Mr. Brown!” multiple people answered at once. School-wide, he was known for his boring classes. Couldn’t even catch a break outside school.

The timer went before you knew it. The game continued easy breezy. However, that was, until Peter got up. He started giving weird descriptions sometimes that pertained to inside jokes that threw everyone else off. But not you and Ned.

He drew a slip, his face concentrated and his eyebrows furrowed. “The guy who accidentally started the French Indian War.”

“George Washington,” you stated. Everyone gave you weird looks. “What? It’s not my fault Peter and I pay attention in history while you guys sleep.”

Peter shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips. Pulling another name, he shook his head again and ran his hand through his hair. “How do I describe this?” He paused, then continued. “Er, he wears a red and blue suit? Seen around Queens on the regular. Kinda cool, I guess?”

“Pfft, Spider-Man. Duh,” you answered as Ned asked, “Is it Spider-Man?”

Michelle shook her head at your trio. “You guys are crazy.”

“Can’t disagree there. Especially him,” you teased, pointing to Peter.

He put a hand on his chest, mock offended. “I can’t believe you’ve betrayed me like that.”

Astrid shrugged. “She’s my sister. It was bound to happen,” she offered, launching another round of laughter.

The game ended not too long after that. Other activities passed, dinner was served, a movie watched. At least that part served to be true from what Peter had told you that morning. May outdid herself on the food. She could cook, but you made sure to be wary with dessert. She surprised you with that being just as good- she must’ve had someone help her. May was known for her cooking and not her baking for a reason.

Astrid bugged you on and off all night. Anytime you would get remotely close to Peter, she popped up and did so. When you sat down next to him before the movie, she plopped herself on your lap and yelled, “Love me!” before throwing her arms around you. Granted, you did push her off but she switched sides to sit between you and him. She was adamant, but you had a tough time putting your finger on why.

People started to leave around 8:00 pm as the party wound down. Games put up, the majority of the food eaten, little kids falling asleep on parents, and the sky dark. Noise levels now lower, you found yourself enjoying the classical Christmas music that had come up on the playlist. Seated in a stray chair by the window, the music appeased your spirits and the landscape awed you.

A light sprinkling of snow started to fall. Flakes illuminated by the city and Christmas lights glowed green and red. Red and green streaked white covered everything. Moonlight shone down, making the snow sparkle. It was as if someone had waved a magic wand. The landscape transformed into a far-off kingdom from a fairytale and you were the princess, admiring it from her tower.

“Guess you got your Christmas wish.” Looking up, you saw Peter sit down to your right. Astrid was off somewhere, too busy to interrupt, hopefully. “And it’s before Christmas Eve, too.”

“Sorry, what?” Though you had an idea what he was talking about, it confused you.

“Your Christmas wish,” he repeated. “You know when you rambled about how it never feels like Christmas without snow in New York. It’s snowing. You got your wish.” He looked at you softly, scanning your face.

“I didn’t think you paid attention to my ramblings, Peter,” you commented. You looked back at him. His eyes stayed trained on you as you talked. “It was insignificant. Even I forgot I said it.”

He hummed quietly. “I always pay attention to your ramblings. I know you listen to mine all the time. It’s fair that way.”

It was hard to disagree with that. “My Christmas wish has been filled in more than one way today, Peter.”

“Really?” His eyebrows rose with his shock. The expression was beyond endearing. You couldn’t stop the smile from stretching across your face. “How?”

“Really. You did it, Pete.” He continued to make that adorable confused face. “By getting May to host a Christmas Party and dragging me along has helped it feel more like Christmas. Plus, the whole season-of-giving thing. You gave away your afternoon you could’ve used with Ned or May beforehand to make sure I was surprised and enjoyed it. Thank you.”

“It was nothing. Honest. I’d do that every day for you.”

Every day? Wow. You couldn’t deny it any longer- you had a crush on the boy in front of you. And if what he said was any consolation, your feelings weren’t one-sided. At some point during the conversation, some of your hair had fallen in front of your face. Gently, Peter reached over and pushed it behind your ear.

Your heartbeat grew louder. Was what was about to happen what you thought it was? Peter held your gaze, the atmosphere tense. You weren’t sure who started moving first, but soon you were inches from each other. Peter’s breath fanned across your face, feather light. He was so close. It was a lot to take it. You leaned in to close the gap when-

“Whatcha talking about?” Astrid announced louder than necessary. You jumped and leapt across your seat, landing on the other side of your chair. Heat radiated off your neck, ears, and face. Peter looked more like a tomato than a person in the following moments. Astrid grinned, successfully keeping the two of you apart once again that night.

“Why are you both blushing?” she asked all too innocently. She knew what she did.

“No reason,” you replied, breathless. “We were just talking about the weather.”

She scoffed. “You guys are so boring. Anyway, (Y/N), Mom said we’re going home in ten minutes and that you need to be ready and not cuddling with your boyfriend when we do.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you mumbled. She hadn’t said anything about any potential boyfriend being Peter, not that you’d notice your slip until late that night when sleep failed you. Instead, she quirked an eyebrow and made sure you got the message before leaving.

You stood, Peter following your example. Clearing your throat, you began, “I feel like I’ve said this a lot today, but thank you, Peter. It means a lot to me. I’ll text you later, yeah? We can make plans for the rest of break that way.” You tucked your hair behind your ears.

Peter, hands in his pockets, ducked his head. “Yeah, that works great. And it’s no problem.” He took his hands out of his pockets and reached over, wrapping you in a hug. Hugging him back, you savored the moment before pulling away. “Thanks for coming. Well, I guess technically you had no say in that, so thanks for staying and hanging out with me today. I’ll see you soon?”

You nodded slowly. “See you soon!”

Your parents gave May their thanks and soon enough, you were home, dressed in pajamas and fighting over the sink with Astrid. Toothbrushes in mouths, you shoved each other back and forth until Astrid leaned over and spit into the sink.

“Ya know,” she said, toothbrush dangling out of her mouth. “Petah waasint gonna thow da pauty if I hawdn’t sauid anfytheng.”

You spit, taking your own toothbrush out of your mouth. “Peeta or Peter? And he did what? You should know by now not to talk with a toothbrush in your mouth.”

Astrid scowled and took her’s out. “Peter wasn’t going to throw the party if I hadn’t said anything,” she said anything. She rinsed off her brush, put it up, and left the room. Following her lead, you followed her into her room.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She sat on her bed; you sat at her desk.

“It means Peter came to me asking what he should get you for Christmas. He mentioned something about how he wanted to lift your spirits. I, being the wonderful sister that I am, suggested a Christmas party. Automatically he said May wanted an excuse for one, thus concluding that I am indeed the best sister to walk the Earth.” She gave you an overly cheesy grin, making you snicker at her boasting.

“Well then, thank you, Astrid.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was so desperate to cheer you up it was cute to the point of me fake gagging.” To prove her point, she did so again.

You stood up and walked over to her. “I mean it, Astrid. Brag all you want, but that really does make you a great sister.” Kissing her head, you couldn’t see her face but you knew she’d turned bashful at your words.

“Alright, now get outta my room, nerd.” Shoving you out the door, she tried to cover her glee at being complimented by her older sister. She closed the door in your face, leaving you standing there barely keeping it together.

“Goodnight, crazy,” you called through her door, chuckling.

A muffled groan sounded back before a resigned, “Goodnight to you too, dork.” Shaking your head, you headed off to bed for what ended up being a sleepless night. Hey, it’s not your fault your brain wouldn’t stop playing the possibly-almost-kiss with Peter and Astrid’s subsequent interruption over and over again.

Before you knew it, Christmas Day arrived. More snow had fallen, coating the city like a cold blanket, trapping the holiday cheer in it. Christmas morning had been spectacular. After the normal Christmas morning traditions, you sorted through your new gifts, taking the time to admire and appreciate each one.

Your family knew you well, you had to hand it to them. The gifts all seemed perfect and you couldn’t believe you had gotten certain ones. Some of your friends had also given you gifts already, whether it be they were placed under the tree or opened before break.

One person who hadn’t was Peter. Texting after the party, you agreed to exchange gifts Christmas afternoon at his house. It would be just the two of you until Ned showed up later, having plans with his family that lasted longer.

At 2:00 pm, you found yourself on the doorstep of the Parkers’ apartment once more. May greeted you with a hug before disappearing. You approached Peter’s door and knocked. “You home, Parker? You promised.”

Thuds resounded from the room. “Yeah, wait a sec. I’ve got finish something.” Waiting patiently, you listened as Peter dropped something a few times, muttered under his breath, and finally opened the door.

His hair was disheveled like he had been running his hands through it frequently. The sleeves on his sweater were pushed up to his elbows, and his feet were covered in penguin spotted socks. He smiled goofily. “Fancy seeing you here on this fine holiday.” Leaning over in an attempt to look cool, he underestimated his distance and almost toppled to the floor.

Straightening himself, he tugged his sweater. “Never speak of this again,” he said, pointing an accusing finger at you.

“I don’t know,” you mused. “That’d be some pretty good blackmail. If only I’d caught it on camera.”

He moved out of the way to let you into the room but still shot you a dirty look over his shoulder. “You do that, I’m disowning you as my friend.”

“Not if I disown you first.” You took off your coat and threw it over the back of his desk chair. Proceeding to sit down in said chair and taking off your boots, you set Peter’s wrapped present on his desk, with Ned’s right beside it.

Peter shuffled around, then hid something behind his back and walked up to you. “Is it okay if I give you your present now instead of waiting for Ned to get here? He said he’s fine with it,” he said with a wave of his phone. He moved his hands to the front, displaying a box he must’ve wrapped when you waited outside his door.

“Uh, sure. Why not?” He placed the gift on your lap. It was a box with what looked like too many layers of blue and white wrapping paper and a sloppy golden bow on top. The sight made you smile. At least he tried. A small card was placed on top.

“Can you read the card last? I know that’s not how you usually open presents, but it makes more sense once you see what the present is,” Peter requested. He shifted nervously, toeing the carpet, hands behind his back.

Card now to the side, you unwove the bow quickly and carefully. A few tugs let the paper give way. Indeed, too many layers covered the box, but that didn’t stop you. The tape was harder to open, but it ultimately gave in. You gasped when you saw what was in your hands.

Peter had gotten you a candle that smelled like (Y/F/S) and a colorful periodic table blanket. The blanket related to you once jokingly saying “The periodic table is so big I could sleep on it with room to spare.” It has been a passing joke, but Peter remembered.

“No way! Thank you! You shouldn’t have! Especially the candle- they’re so hard to get this time of year!” Peter visibly relaxed and you exchanged easy smiles.

“Okay, now open the card.”

You picked up the card and opened it the best you could. On the front, the card read, “Oh Chemist Tree, Oh Chemist Tree.” It pictured a Christmas tree with beakers for ornaments. You giggled. “That’s cute.” You opened it to see Peter’s handwriting scrawled across the page.

The middle had the typical company provided message: “Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas” with each “Ho” being the chemical symbol for Holmium. Underneath, Peter wrote:

Are you copper and tellurium? Because you are CuTe.

That was cheesy, I know. Please don’t kill me. And please take me seriously.. I’ve liked you as more than a friend for a while, and I’m horrible with words and you’re smart, funny, beautiful, and so much more. I guess what I’m trying to say is (look up now)

You couldn’t believe your eyes. You lifted your head; Peter’s fidgeting had resumed. He smiled shyly but avoided your gaze for a moment. He took a deep breath, gathering courage. Finally, he looked at you. “Will you go out with me? As more than friends?”

Your cheeks hurt from how wide you smiled. “Of course, Peter.” Was this happening? It had to be a dream. No way was this real. You were going to wake up any second now.

Except you didn’t. It was real. Peter must’ve been thinking the same thing. He let out a breath and grinned back, eyes squinting and shining. “So, uh, we’re still gonna hang out with Ned for the rest of the day, so maybe we could go tomorrow? If that’s okay with you,” he said.

“That works with me.” A pause, then, “What should I wear? Where are we going? And don’t say Delmar’s.”

He chuckled. “I promise we won’t go to Delmar’s. This time.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he glanced at the ground before looking up again. “Wear something nice, I guess. I didn’t think I’d get this far…Uh, we can figure that out later. Unless you want to figure it out now. It’s up to you.”

“I’m fine with waiting. Ned should be here soon, anyway,” you responded. You rolled your shoulders, then set your gifts and card aside. “The only thing I’m not fine with is that my present for you seems lame now.”

Peter quirked an eyebrow at you. “I highly doubt that.” He leaned against his desk.

“Wanna bet?” you goaded.

“Sure. I win, you go on a date with me. You win, I go on a date with you.”

“Dork. Here you go. I’m about to prove you wrong.” You handed him the present and watched as he unwrapped it. So far, nothing had changed between you besides acknowledging you had feelings for each other, and you were grateful for that. No excessive awkwardness, no drastic change. Just taking it as it comes, one step at a time.

Peter unwrapped his gift with precision. “Ha, I win,” he said when he saw it.

In his hands, he held a pair of chemistry socks and a picture frame. Inside the frame was a simple picture of the two of you. May had taken it at Peter’s birthday party- it had been a gathering of a few of his friends, and she made sure she had pictures of him with everyone that showed up.  Sitting on the couch side by side, the group had been playing a trivia game. You and Peter weren’t paying much attention to it, choosing to joke around. May had noticed and caught the priceless moment. You were looking at each other, grinning, lost in your own little world.

You hadn’t known it existed. May kept it to herself, as Peter never asked to see the camera after the party. After mentioning to May what you wanted to do for Christmas, she gave you the picture and told you how wonderful of an idea it was. So here you were.

“I don’t see how that’s a win. It’s just a stupid pair of socks and a photo,” you said, doubting your choice now he had them.

“But they aren’t!” Peter insisted, clutching them to his chest. “I think they’re perfect. It shows you get me.”

You were about to argue back when out of nowhere-

THUD!

You raced to open the door, Peter not far behind, his presents left on his bed. Expecting May to be injured or something broken, you weren’t ready for the sight before your eyes.

Ned stood there, backpack on the ground and spilling open, presents in his hands. “Hi?” he asked, unsure of how to proceed. He was right outside the door, leaving the only place to go back into Peter’s room. You greeted him back.

Ned bent down to pick up the spilled contents of his book. He looked up and said, “By the way, you guys are standing underneath some mistletoe.”

“Ugh. Maaayyy,” you heard Peter whine. A quick glance up confirmed Ned’s observation.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to yet,” Peter whispered in your ear.

You thought it over. “Nah, I’m good with following through.” You leaned in, completing what went unfinished at the party in nearly the same exact spot. It was short and sweet but perfect.

Pulling away, you smiled at Peter and he reciprocated. Ned spoke, interrupting your moment. “About time. I’m gonna go ahead and assume your plan worked, Peter.”

Your jaw dropped. “You need to explain this.”

“No, I think you need to explain to me just what happened. Presents can wait. Now move.” He pushed you and Peter into the room- backpack cleaned up- before settling on the bed.

Shaking your head, you sat down and complied. This Christmas turned out better than you had guessed the week before. The future was as bright as the snow outside. Presents, time with your friends and family, and a date on the horizon. And that was just the start of many to come.

[tear-her-aus]

Karma’s a Bitch - pt 2

Part 1    Part 2     Part 3     Part 4    Part 5    Part 6    Part 7     Part 8

Summary: Closure. That’s what you needed to finally forget that memory of your past. A memory that shaped you into becoming the person you are today. Perhaps you wouldn’t find closure, but instead closure in the form of a boy would find you.

Pairing: Jimin x female reader x Jungkook (?)

WC: 1.7K

Warnings: Low self esteem

A/N: Hi! So I decided to post part 2 earlier than expected. Hope you enjoy it!

* - * - * - * - *

Part 2

    It’s been about eight weeks since you started the semester and because of it you had to change your training schedule to mornings instead of evenings. You quite enjoyed the morning atmosphere and started making new friends with people that trained at those hours. You even became friends with one of the youngest instructors, Jungkook, who looked like he had a similar age to yours and was even fitter than other personal trainers. You were curious as to how he could be working there at such a young age, and when you asked him, he told you that he was in third year of his career and that he was just an intern. He even went to the same university as you, yet his school was far away from yours. You found him pretty friendly to say the least, and he even told you that when he finished his internship, he would become your gym partner. You actually liked the idea since you felt you were getting stuck with your performance and having a gym partner like him would certainly encourage you to do better. Turning to leave, you told Jungkook you would start your routine and leave him to do his job, yet you bumped into a well-defined chest. Thinking it was probably one of those cocky gym guys due to the seductive smell he emanated, you apologized and without looking up went straight to one of the benches to start with bench press. You heard the guy saying something to Jungkook, but you couldn’t quite hear what their conversation was about, and you didn’t really care.

    Since this week you had to add more weight to each exercise, you started by adding 2.5kg to your already loaded 12.5kg base. You were somewhat nervous since you have never accomplished to lift so much weight, and even though you could ask Jungkook for help, you didn’t want to cross paths with the other guy. You positioned yourself on the bench and aligned your hands with the bar, and breathing deeply, you took out the bar from its hook and started doing the repetitions. You managed to do the 10 repetitions from 3 of you 4 sets, and you were now about to start the last and probably hardest repetition. Taking a big amount of air into your lungs, you took the bar from the hook and started lifting it up and down with each repetition. That was until you reached your eight one and your hands gave away. The bar fell hurtfully on your chest.  You knew you had to scream, but the impact of the weight in your chest took all your air away. You knew everyone was in their own business and probably no one noticed you were being suffocated, yet not 10 seconds have passed when a pair of toned arms lifted the bar and placed it on the hook. To recover your lost air, you breathed deeply and then slowly tried sitting down on the bench. Looking back, you saw that the owner of those toned arms was a handsome young boy with ebony dark hair. He was one of the hottest guys you’ve ever seen, yet you have never seen him in the gym, you would have remembered him. You were about to thank him when he spoke with the sweetest voice you have heard in your life.

“Are you alright?” he said with an expression showing concern.

“Yeah…thanks… you know, for literally saving me.”

“I wouldn’t say saving you, but if that’s how you see it then cool” he said somewhat… flustered?

“No, seriously! I thought I would die from suffocation! Thank you so much!”

“Yeah, I thought that too. I ran as fast as I could when I saw the bar fell on you and did what anyone would have done.”

“I’m actually glad you noticed. I thought no one would notice and that I would die” you laughed a little bit, thinking on what could have happened if no one have aided you.

“Who wouldn’t notice such a beautiful girl like you?” the boy said with a smirk on his face.

You were taken aback by his remark, yet you couldn’t deny you liked his flirting. About to answer, your attention was caught by Jungkook, who was running towards you and upon arriving, squatted in front of your sitting figure. “Are you okay? Are you hurt in any way?” he asked, clearly worried.

“I’m fine, Jungkook. I was lucky enough to be saved by this gentleman right here” you said while directing your left hand towards the guy that saved you. He again looked embarrassed and scratched the back of his head with his right hand.

“Wow. Thanks, Jimin! It could have been bad if no one helped her. I tried to get here as fast as possible when a lady came and told me an accident happened to a girl using the bench press. I knew it was Y/N since she was the only one doing this exercise.”

“No big deal, really! It was the decent thing to do” Jimin answered, looking between Jungkook and you. Jungkook turned his gaze on you once more and told you that next time, you should ask him for help to finish your last set. You replied you most likely will do so. With that, Jungkook stood up and went to help an old lady that was waiting for him. When your gaze fell back again on the handsome guy, you had the sensation he never took his gaze from you. He was intently looking at you, so you decided to say something before it became awkward.

“So… thank you, really” you smiled a little.

“Anytime! I hope you didn’t get hurt,” he said truthfully, “Well.. I should probably head back to finish my sets of deadlift.”

“Right… See you around!” you replied enthusiastically yet feeling a little disappointed.

“Sure thing!” with that he winked and left to the other side of the room, but not without looking one or two times back at you. Your cheeks were hot, but you suppressed any feeling by reminding yourself you had to keep training. Since you were doing “arm day,” you had to do a lot of exercises that required your arms and hands, but with the incident you seemed to have sprained you right wrist. You saw no use in staying, so you decided to go home after telling Jungkook about your situation, to which he gave you recommendations in order to recover. Walking home, you couldn’t help but to feel excited for the new encounter you made today. Tons of thoughts about him made way to your head, yet you didn’t seem to remember his name. The pretty boy didn’t introduce himself, but since Jungkook mentioned his name, you tried to remember even his initial. Not getting anywhere with your thoughts, you just decided to make your way home. Why bother anyways? Being a 12 out of 10, pretty boy will probably not talk to you again. As he said, he did what anyone would do in his position, and even though you registered his flirting, he probably said what he usually says to other girls. Deciding to leave it at that, you entered your apartment and went straight to the bathroom to take a bath, so you took your clothes off and once again looked at your reflection. “I wish I could love myself” you whispered before entering the bathtub and slowly sinking into the hot water.

* - * - * - * - *

Jimin finished his last set of deadlift, and immediately looked for the girl. How could he miss his chance of asking her name?! He grew more disappointed when she was nowhere to be seen, and he worried she might actually have been injured. Seeing Jungkook in his usual spot, he approached him to get some information out of him.

“Hey, Jungkook. Do you perhaps know where the girl from earlier went?” he asked directly.

“What girl? “Jungkook asked innocently but knowing perfectly what Jimin was talking about.

“Come on! You know… the girl that had the accident?”

“Oh, you mean Y/N? She left since her wrist hurt.”

‘Maybe she sprained her wrist, ’Jimin thought to himself. Knowing how to deal with injuries, he could use that in the future to get close to her. He didn’t miss Jungkook mentioning her name, so he decided to ask more out of him.

“That girl, Y/N, seems to know a lot about technique. I wonder how she could got hurt.”

“Well yeah. Being a customer for so long, you may wonder that, but that can happen to anyone. Besides, from what she told me, she had to add extra weight today, and even though she was handling it perfectly, the last set is usually the hardest one.”

“Yeah you are right. It probably was that. I hope she didn’t get hurt badly.”

“Nah! She is a strong girl. Sometimes I wonder how she doesn’t faint form training so hard. From what I know, she’ll probably come tomorrow being her wrist better or not.” Jungkook smiled proudly, making Jimin feeling a little jealous of Jungkook’s closeness to Y/N. He even started to question their relationship.

“You seem to know her well” Jimin said in a monotonous tone.

“Well not so much if I’m being honest. She used to train in the evenings when I had the same time schedule, but luckily when they changed my shifts to mornings, her schedule also changed to mornings too, so we kind of became close,” Jungkook nodded to himself while Jimin frowned a little wondering if that change in schedule was a coincidence. He let those thoughts wander off his mind for later since he now had some information of Y/N, and he would use it to his favor not minding if Jungkook was in his way or not. Thinking of a way to smoothly end the conversation, Jimin told Jungkook he should probably go to do some cardio to which Jungkook replied with a nod and a pat on his back.

    What Jimin didn’t realize was that Jungkook noticed his new interest in Y/N. Jungkook knew guys like Jimin all too well, and he wondered if he was just interested in Y/N’s appearance or in her essence. His thoughts were interrupted by a boy who asked him to explain some exercises to him. Walking towards a bench, Jungkook focused on his job once again.

A/N: Tell me what you think so far! 

[callmcgills]

werner ziegler 😭

! major BCS spoilers from this point on !

Werner (send me a character and I’ll list…)

thank you for giving me an excuse to dump my emotions! THAT SAID:

*sits on the sidewalk* *screams into my hands*

favorite thing about them

a huge part of me liking him is his duality between professionalism and goofiness. (“for my father, it was his achievement. a creation that will endure,” and “very good! now you use your thinking head, not your drinking head!” are lines from the same episode) i also liked how he was an architectural genius, but was downright incapable of thinking ahead when his smarts were applied to any other situation. but most importantly, i like him because he had so much heart that he was KILLED OVER IT!!! the crimes he was killed over were being friendly/proud of his work, escaping the warehouse because he’s tired and wants to be with someone he loved, and trusting someone to be honest!!!!!!! Rainer Bock also gave a great portrayal which definitely helped too

also, relevant: i went from liking Werner to being absolutely invested after he had a panic attack in Wiedersehen, and then it hard cut to him walking back into the room with a smile.

least favorite thing about them

to this day i still have to watch the pool-side scene in Winner while peaking through my fingers. partly because Werner WHY did you have to BLAB AGAIN! but mostly because, well… i’m glad Werner didn’t have to die in those clothes. i also can’t let it go unstated that Werner most likely did know he was working on something w/ criminal ties. but w/ the way Werner acted, he CLEARLY must have thought that Gus and Mike were just storing illegal fireworks or something

favorite line

“Ah, not true. He also left you, Michael. You are his legacy.” Werner doesn’t think Mike needs a grand accomplishment to be worthy of being called a legacy. he could have just said “oh, that’s a shame” about Mike’s previous line, but instead he tells Mike that he’s good enough just for existing. and that’s incredibly meaningful and sweet. (but Mike laughs, because he’s a murderer. his son’s death is on his hands. some legacy he is! and if Werner knew, he wouldn’t be saying that. then, har har har, Werner is killed by him.)

close runner up: “Now say Mittagsschläfchen,” and literally every other line in that scene. for example: “How do you say bullshit?” “Hmm, bullshit.” his dialogue with Mike was gold.

brOTP

Werner and the construction crew. They Are His Sons. the reason Werner said ‘once, maybe’ about if he wanted to have kids was because living w/ someone like Kai for 9 months was enough

if that’s too obvious an answer… Gale and Werner. “wow. i mean, it’s incredible. […] an architectural feat. herculean.” RETCON WERNER’S DEATH SO THEY CAN DRINK COFFEE TOGETHER!!!

OTP

throwback to when i said ‘wehrmantraut endgame’ to myself during Coushatta. those were simpler times.

nOTP

Werner/Kai. a very hard nOTP at that. i haven’t seen anyone ship it, but the Mere Concept is enough to squick me out. and if i’m being frank, Werner/any of the six people in his team. i can’t see Werner’s relationship w/ them as anything other than familial.

random headcanon

i’ve put a lot of thought into this, because i’m working on (more like… planning but avoiding actually writing) a construction crew-centric fic. and since i only have 1 piece of backstory info and a piece of lint to go off of for Werner, i realized i had to fill in some of the blanks! here’s a piece of what i came up with!

i think his father’s work would’ve left a negative impact on Werner. if Werner’s in his 50s, then when he was a kid his father was working on what would be The Most Important Project Of His Life, and he wasn’t able to interact w/ his family often. this would put Werner in an uncomfortable position – being upset about his father being so busy would mean he was being “ungrateful.” his father was sacrificing so much and working so hard, after all!! his attire and work methods might reflect that he’s almost replicating his father in a way. he’s almost deliberately old fashioned, even for someone his age. contrast w/ the French engineer, or even Mike, who is more adaptable to the point he notices dead pixels and what was used to create them

it can’t be good for anyone to have a parent who is constantly busy w/ their “achievement” during some of the most important years of your development. and imagine at least one of your parents being more of a legend than a family member! you’d internalize unrealistic expectations of yourself and flat out wrong ideas of what’s good enough, and you’d look at every moment in your life using that parent’s experiences as a frame of reference. you’re constantly comparing your experiences. not in a “am i as good as them?” kind of way, but in a “in terms of work, i don’t have it NEARLY as hard as they did, so i must be grateful for [X]” way. you also can’t complain about anything that’s given to you, because at least you didn’t have to aid in revolutionizing architecture and construct a new type of concrete arch

while Werner clearly said “you are his legacy” as a way to make Mike look at things more optimistically (and because he really meant it) you have to wonder what him choosing that word says about how he thinks of himself. if you are your parent’s legacy – working in their occupation, even – does that mean just the fact that you exist is good enough, or does that mean you can’t let your existence as a legacy go to waste? of course, when he said it to Mike he meant the former, but that’s not necessarily how the child of someone like his father applies that message to himself.

unpopular opinion

i’ve noticed a lot of people saying that Werner was “stupid for not realizing the severity of his situation” and thinking he’d be able to go back to work after escaping. in my opinion, Mike screwed up by not clearly defining the rules to him. his death was unfair, but even more so because he was punished for breaking the rules to a game he didn’t know he was playing. Gus is playing 4D Chess, and Werner was playing Jenga at a completely different table.

as far as Werner knew, all that mattered was that the work got done and that it got done in secrecy. after all, i don’t imagine any of his other employers would have killed him for what was just a day off. it doesn’t matter how much Werner knew about his job, your instinct isn’t to believe you are going to be murdered for leaving your workplace. not when every single job you’ve had hasn’t worked that way. and that’s where the communication problems spring from, almost every other job Mike has had did work that way, so to Mike the implications were clear and he didn’t need to clarify what “think about who you’re working for” meant.

Werner lacked the context: that Gus was playing a long con that ran deeper than just what they’re building. while Werner believed what they were building was the most important part – and thus no harm no foul in leaving for a few days because the work was going to get done – it was really the revenge and end game that mattered, which meant everyone was replaceable and expendable. especially when they blab to a Salamanca. so it’s about more than whether he knew the people he worked for were dangerous, it’s about the fact he was wrong about what the priorities were.

song i associate with them

Miles, by Mother Mother. a post-Wiedersehen song

“Miles / and miles / and miles / Before we reach the sand / Cacti / and cacti /  for miles / miles of dry land, dry land / We gonna make it / Oooh we gonna make it / We gonna take it / Oooh we gonna take it / Easy / Once we feel the sea breezeMy my my my my my my lover / My maker / My breaker / Take me by the hand / We could go walking for miles / Once we reach the sand / the sand”

favorite picture of them 

A Very Tender Photo Taken One Episode Before Disaster

bonus: an excerpt from an IM w/ kiraalexander, after they filled me in on what Werner did during the finale

[crazy-writes]

Hey! I got some writing for y’all! But it’s not done yet, and I’m very tired on a school night, so I’mma break it up into two parts. For now, here is part one!

Content warning for fights, death, gore, and gratuitous puns.

It was chaos. Jane was stabbed, Jasper had died moments earlier and his dead body was still upstairs in their room, and the worst part was Jack’s teddy bear was taken away. Jack had been slowly coming to the conclusion that his mother might not have been the wonderful person he had been convincing himself she was, and this was the last straw. That teddy bear was a gift from Jamie! Jack couldn’t let the last bit of Jamie he had left slip away. Jack begged his mom to let him keep it, because he needed it! But… she didn’t listen to him. She laughed at his suffering. She picked up the teddy bear, held it over the garbage disposal of the kitchen sink, and it edged nearer and nearer to destruction…

It flew out of her hands, and into Jack’s waiting arms. Jack wasn’t happy. Jack tried to be patient, and he could put up with a lot of things, but not this. Anything but this. He needed Jamie, and now this was all he had left, ad dammit if he wasn’t going to give his life to protect it.

“No.” Jack said firmly, staring right into her eyes. Never before had he ever been this menacing.

His mom sputtered, “What- No, you have to give it to me, I’m your mother!”

“No!”

She switched into her sweet mode, which usually worked when he was being stubborn, “Honey, I just want what’s best for you! I love you!”

“No.” Jack’s voice was void of all emotion. He had had enough.

She tried yelling at him, but still he didn’t relent. He was going to hold onto that teddy bear no matter what, and she knew it. So, she went for him with the knife she had used to stab Jane with.

Jack suddenly found he was able to read her like an open book, and knew exactly what she was about to do. He side-stepped her attack, and let her fly into the bookshelf behind him. She stood groggily, before stumbling nearer to him, holding up the knife. Jack stared at her, and she stared at him. The knife began to shake. Jack held the teddy bear tighter to his chest. For a moment, everything was silent. And then, his mother coughed. Well, it was more accurate to say she went into a coughing fit. That then made her choke on her spit. She gasped and her lungs heaved, trying to breathe. But she couldn’t. Of course she couldn’t. She dropped the shaking knife, that then flew back into its holder. She put her hands around her throat, and Jack watched as she fell to the ground. She struggled there for a while, but then she fell still and silent. Jack looked down on her as if regarding a dead fly. He nudged her with his foot, and as soon as he was sure she was dead, he turned towards Jane.

Jane’s eyes were still half open, barely staying conscious and alive. She smiled weakly at him. “That… was metal…” She whispered to him.

Jack wasn’t necessarily listening to her, since he was running around to try to find some gauze bandages to stop the bleeding. Once he finally dug up a first aid kit, he gently removed her shirt and began to attempt to treat her wounds.

“Wow… How sc-… scandalous J-Jack…” She murmured with a tired smirk.

“Jane! You’re actually dying! Stop trying to make jokes!”

“Well… I just have… such a sharp wit…”

“Jane!”

“Are my jokes… a little too edgy for you, Jack?”

“Jane, please!”

“Just… trying to cut… the tension…”

“Jane, oh my goodness, now is not the time!”

“What, do you… not see the point?”

“Jane you are bleeding out on the floor, now is not the time to be clever!”

“At least she didn’t… try to… stab me in the back…”

“Jane, stop it! Was that one even a pun?”

“Jack… stick with me now…”

“Jane! Stop!”

“Jack… this is just… a typical… slice of life…”

“Oh my god STOP Jane!”

“Jack… if I die… just remember… it was… knife knowing you…”

“Jaaaaaaaaaaaane!”

Jane let out a wheeze that vaguely sounded like laughter, before closing her eyes. Jack panicked.

“Jane, jane, JANE! Oh no, oh no, oh no, it’s gonna be ok, I’m not gonna let you die, just stay here, I’ll be right back!”

Jack ran upstairs, got Jasper’s body, and sat him down next to Jane. If he ignored all the blood, it was almost like they were asleep. Jack then ran back upstairs, gathered a bunch of their stuff together, and put it in one of their school backpacks (that was basically empty anyways). He brought that backpack and a different one downstairs again. He threw in the first aid kit, and raided the cabinets for old junk food to take and to eat. He was going to need the energy. After that was all done, he looked back at Jane and Jasper. Both were dead now. But it would be ok, because Jack had a bunch of sugar in him now, and had enough psychic energy to accomplish the task he had to do. He concentrated, clenched his fists, and then they both jolted up.

They were coughing badly, and not able to sit up properly, but they were alive. Jack grinned.

[trb-reacts]

The Raven Boys, Chapter 12

Adam wasn’t waiting by the bank of mailboxes in the morning.

Oh no. Please tell me Adam was fine and wasn’t caught. Tell me no one hurt our sweet, elegant boy. 

Actually, more properly, he’d used it as a place to turn around and head back the way he’d come. […] At the sight of Gansey’s Aglionby sweater, Adam’s father had charged out, firing on all cylinders.

Lol, oh, Gansey, turn around and head back the way he’d come. I’m also just very afraid for Adam though. If Adam’s father reacts this way to Gansey in his Aglionby sweater, just how exactly does Adam’s father react to Adam attending Aglionby?

For weeks after that, Ronan had called Gansey “the S.R.F.,” where the S stood for Soft, the R stood for Rich, and the F for something else.

Lol, something else, huh?

His watch said he had eighteen minutes to make the fifteen-minute drive to school.

It’s okay, Gansey, I’ve done 10 minute walks within 5 minutes, because I always leave the house too late and have no sense of time. I managed, though, and made it on time, with 2 minutes of lateness. Yay me. 

Noah had let him leave his journal behind at Nino’s after all, and its absence was surprisingly unsettling.

I’m sorry, Gansey, but how old are you? Noah let you leave your journal behind? Have a sense of responsibility, would you, tho I would admit that I would be exceedingly upset if I lost my journal full of my writings.

And Dick Gansey II had let his son know that if he couldn’t hack it in a private school, Gansey was cut out of the will.

He’d said it nicely, though, over a plate of fettuccine.

Oh, the rich people’s version of B+?? You only got a B+?? Only Asians get the threat of a beating (semi-kidding), while rich people get the threat of a fortune taken away with they get below a B. I wonder which one is worse. 

He felt the old fear creeping slowly out of his lungs.

Don’t panic. You were wrong about Ronan last night. You have to stop this. Death isn’t as close as you think.

… I would like to be reassuring and tell Gansey he’s right, except Whelk’s friend did die when they went on their quest to search for the king. And I mean, a beating and death is not that far apart for Adam, is it? I’m concerned, especially with this unexpected radio silence.

Adam must’ve taken his bike, he must’ve had work, he must’ve had errands to run and forgotten to tell him. The rutted drive down to the neighborhood was still empty. Come on, Adam. Wiping his palms on his slacks, he put his hands back on the steering wheel and headed for the school.

Gansey, I’m admittedly a little disappointed in you. School > friend? I mean, I get it, I’m a student crazy about my grade too and most of the time, the worse case scenario isn’t usually actually what happens, though, Gansey? You called him out last night, knowing that consequences would be bad if Adam was caught. You called him, asked him for a favor from one friend to another, and Adam granted it, gave it to you without much more than a second thought for his own wellbeing, because you asked. And now you leave your wait for Adam, without knowing what happened to him at all? You coulda at least went by Adam’s home to see if he is there and then walk in late to class, though I admittedly don’t know how well rich boarding schools take walking in late to class.  

Ronan was head of class in Latin. He studied joylessly but relentlessly, as if his life depended on it. Directly behind him was Adam, Aglionby’s star pupil, otherwise at the top of every class that he took. Like Ronan, Adam studied relentlessly, because his future life did depend on it.

He studied joylessly but relentlessly, as if his life depended on it. Oh, me in every single one of my classes. Joyless and relentless, because my future life depends on it. Not the star pupil like Adam, though I try. 

I’m also getting the Ronan/Adam vibe again. Adam, top in every single one of his class except for Latin, the only class that Ronan tries and therefore excels at. I wonder if Adam gets infuriated by Ronan, the way Ronan doesn’t care about anything including his own talent and intelligence, but shines so brightly when he does try like a light flickering to life at night. 

…. Would it be a stretch if I add ‘and Adam is helpless drawn by it, like moth to flame.’? Probably, but I don’t care. Ronan probably won’t burn Adam much tho. Probably. Hopefully. 

He’d originally resigned himself to taking Latin in order to translate historical texts for Glendower research, but Ronan’s proficiency at the language robbed Gansey’s study of any urgency.

I’m so both amazed by Gansey’s dedication to his reasearch to even consider learning an entire other language (i understand how tough learning another language could be, since I suck at it, even without considering reading and writing formal text in another foreign language) and amused by Gansey’s typical student laziness. I don’t need to take it? Great, not gonna bother then, thank you very much. 

Ronan hissed, “Where’s Parrish?”

Oh, no. Adam!! Also, Ronan cares~

Behind Gansey, someone punched his shoulder blade and said, Gansey boy! as they trotted by. Gansey halfheartedly lifted three fingers, the signal of the rowing team.

Gansey boy! Lol. Also, Gansey’s in the rowing team? He is popular.

A few months earlier, Gansey had offered to buy Adam a cell phone, and by so doing had launched the longest fight they’d ever had, a week of silence that had resolved itself only when Ronan did something more offensive than either of them could accomplish.

I’m so… I don’t know. I understand why Adam would be like, fuck you, I’m not a charity case, but at the same time… sometimes when you see your friend struggling, it physically hurts to have the means to help and just not be allowed to help. Gansey should say stuff like, “Oh, it’ll be easier to help me contact you, which would aid us in our quest. Also, think of this as me investing in you. You can pay me back for the phone later.’ Or just… sell Adam one of his old phone for cheap, idk. 

This reminds me of *spoiler if you haven’t read The Foxhole Court* Andrew buying Neil a phone and Neil looking at it like it’s the devil the first time around. Though, to be fair, Neil and Adam are in different circumstance here. 

Also, I’m so amused by this: a week of silence that had resolved itself only when Ronan did something more offensive than either of them could accomplish. Glad to see Ronan’s antagonistic nature has its perks. No one can seem offensive when in comparison to me!

Thank you, Ronan, thank you. 

“Lynch!” the call came again. “I’m going to fuck you up.”

Wow, that’s… a very strong sentiment. Also, wow, I just noticed but Ronan’s last name is Lynch. Lynch, as in, *give me a second to google the formal definition* 

lynch /verb/:

(of a mob) kill (someone), especially by hanging, for an alleged offense with or without a legal trial.

synonyms: execute illegally, hang, kill; informal string up

“he was lynched by the mob”

Lynch, with all those good feels here. The word lynch reminds of of martyrs and I wonder why I feel like Ronan would be the martyr, despite his strong personality implying/faking that he would be the one doing the lynching. 

Gansey contemplated if he could give Ronan a curfew. Or if he should quit rowing to spend more time with him on Fridays — he knew that was when Ronan got into trouble with the BMW. Maybe he could convince Ronan to …

Gansey boy!: the Mom Friend of the group. 

Gansey asked, “Why are you carrying that bag? Oh my God, you have that bird in there, don’t you.”

Whoops, I forgot about the raven. How could I forget about Chain Saw!! 

“If you get caught with that thing —” But Gansey couldn’t think of a suitable threat. What was the punishment for smuggling a live bird into classes? He wasn’t certain there was precedent.

Ronan, breaking boundaries and making history left and right. I feel like Ronan is the type that prompts people to make new, weirdly specific rules like, “Guys, please, place your hand over the bleaker and gently wave a bit towards you. By heavens, don’t stick it under your nose and sniff like you would with drugs and most of all, I can’t believe I have to say this, but Do Not Drink It! It’s not edible, do you hear me, and definitely do not miss your mouth and accidentally splash it all over your eyes and then knock everyone’s bleaker over and spill the contents all over someone else’s eyes! This is a Safe Zone, you hear me, and we’re gonna Keep It That Way.”

“If it dies in your bag, I forbid you to throw it out in a classroom.” “She,” Ronan corrected. “It’s a she.”

I love how Ronan corrected the impersonal ‘it’ to a ‘she’. Oh, Ronan is such a softie underneath everything. 

Though there was no reason to think Whelk cared about their conversation, Gansey had the strange idea that the lifted piece of chalk in Whelk’s hand was because of them, that the Latin teacher had stopped writing merely to listen in. Adam’s suspicion really was beginning to rub off on him.

Um, Gansey dear, actuallly, Adam’s suspicion is very well founded and also, just listen to your gut instincts. Your guts Knows, alright, it Knows, Gansey. 

Ronan caught Whelk’s eye and held it in an unfriendly sort of way.

Oh, I love Ronan. Stare ‘em down, Ronan, stare ‘em down. 

Because he despised everyone, Ronan wasn’t a good judge of character, but Gansey had to agree that there was something discomfiting about Whelk. A few times, Gansey had tried to hold a conversation with him about Roman history, knowing full well the effect an enthusiastic academic conversation could have on an otherwise listless grade. But Whelk was too young to be a mentor and too old to be a peer, and Gansey couldn’t find an angle.

If Gansey finds it discomfiting every time he can’t find an angle to talk to someone, he would not like my awkward little life or attempts at small talks. I’ll need to know you for a full three months before I can comfortably greet you without thinking ‘Am I overstepping my boundary? Can I greet them and acknowledge them outside of where we met? Do they even remember me or find my greetings too bothersome?’ Yeah, I have lots of anxiety about lots of stuff. 

 Also, Gansey’s such a nerd that he finds it weird when he can’t nerd out with someone who is supposedly a fellow nerd. 

Ronan kept staring at Whelk. He was good at staring. There was something about his stare that took something from the other person.

Me, covering my mouth with a hand, tear brimming my eyes as I reenact the ‘you’re doing amazing, sweetie’ meme. Probably shouldn’t be encouraging him, heavens knows Ronan doesn’t need more encouragement, but I love it when Ronan acts so... him. 

And: there was something about his stare that took something from the other person. I love it!

Gansey would’ve basked once more in the odds of Ronan of finding a raven, but at the moment, with Adam missing, his quest didn’t feel like magic; it felt like years spent piecing together coincidences, and all he had made from it was a strange cloth — too heavy to carry, too light to do any good at all.

Oh, love it. Some doubts from Gansey on his quest, the what-if my faith isn’t really faith, but rather delusions? What if there really isn’t magic and these coincidence (fate, magic) really are just coincidental events that a mad man strung together thinking that they had any correlation or significance at all? 

Also, I love the metaphor with a cloth!!  Too heavy to carry, too light to do any good at all; I spent too much time and energy and faith on it to abandon it now, and yet what had all the time and energy and faith invested really given me in return? Only strings of nothings connected by the thin, nebulous thread of ‘coincidences’.

"You seem to have an extremely large bag today, Mr. Lynch," Whelk said. "You know what they say about men with large bags," Ronan replied. "Ostendes tuum et ostendam meus?" Gansey had no idea what Ronan had just said, but he was certain from Ronan’s smirk that it wasn’t entirely polite. 

So, when faced with untranslated babbles of unknown because I’m not cultured enough to be fluent in more than one language, I can never resist finding out what they mean by turning to the trusty google translate. 

Before that, let me guess what he says without translating the Latin phrase and then maybe we can compare my guess to what he actually said. 

Guess 1:  “You know what they say about men with large bags. They have large baggages,” because symbolism is so my thing. Except Ronan’s Latin phrase ends in a question mark and I think symbolism about bags and baggages is more of my thing than Ronan’s. 

Guess 2: “You know what they say about men with large bags. They have huge dicks,” because I can imagine Ronan making a dick joke here, except that’s also not a question. Ronan, what did you say????

Okay, I’m gonna cheat. 

Final Guess:  “You know what they say about men with large bags. They have huge dicks, amiright?” There, I got the question mark in there now. Totally showed that stupid question mark. 

Answer: Ostendes tuum et ostendam meus?  = You show me yours and I will show

... I’m not entirely sure what that means, so here’s another two guesses, this time on what this translated Lain phrase mean. Gee, Ronan, I like you, but you’re driving me nuts. 

Guess 1: I’m totally right and it’s a dick joke. “You show me your, erm, jewels, and I’ll show you mine.” I like this one because I inappropriately like random oblique dick jokes in Latin, but also because it means Ronan is maybe not entirely straight so my ship with him and Adam might actually be able to leave the port. 

Guess 2: I’m sadly wrong and Ronan is a bright diamond, meaning he’s not only shiny and awesome, but also damn sharp. (Actually diamonds aren’t the sharpest, I’m thinking about... hardness. Diamond’s the hardest of all rocks, I think, and I just compared Ronan to a diamond, so I’ll just leave that here.) Ronan is onto Whelk and he knows that Whelk’s been keeping an eye on them, so Ronan is saying, “You show me your cards, your secrets, and I might impart mine as well, including telling you about what’s in my ‘extremely large bag’.” (I really needa stop making dick jokes.) 

Anyway, the second guess unfortunately sounds more plausible, though Ronan’s smirk seem to imply a bit more of the first guess. Yeah, I don’t know. Tell me if there’s an official interpretation of this or if I misunderstood?

"Being a shit in Latin isn’t the way to an A," Gansey said.

Ronan’s smile was golden. "It was last year."

Ronan’s smile was golden!! *cries* Oh, my son!! I love him so much. 

Adam never showed.

And the somber reminder came back. I really, really hope Adam is okay. I miss him, and I’m sure the boys do too.

[whales-and-recovery]

Well, I don’t typically do things like this, but I think it’s worth the effort so I can come back and see this again at a later point.

9 Things / Experiences / Moments / Triumphs I am grateful for this year:

1) Firstly, wow, what a year it has been. This is the first year of my life that I have truly been on my own. It has been very difficult not having any parent figures around and really figuring everything out on my own, but I did it and I’m doing it. I was in one relationship for 5 1/2 years and another soon after for nearly an entire year, but as of now I have been single for quite a while. It’s been weird navigating on my own but absolutely worth it. I’ve earned my independence. There have definitely been some rough patches, but I am really proud of myself for being able to do this because it’s been a pretty scary ride.

2)  I got my wonderful dog Thor last year in September, but since I moved here in January it has just been him and I. I’ve really gotten the opportunity to connect with him and he is my everything. I love coming home to his smiling face every day, despite the fact that sometimes he is a huge pain in the ass.

3) From January to September, I was working a job in downtown as a receptionist at a condominium. This is a very, very wealthy part of Miami and I worked in a residential building full of very - very successful people. The opportunity to meet many of these people and make good connections was amazing. I also got the chance to meet my very good friend George. Also a pain in my ass at times, but such a genuinely good and kind hearted person.

4) This is a big one, after two years of wanting nothing more than to be back in school, I am finally back in school! I am eligible for financial aid but as I am still considered a dependent student by fafsa guidelines, regardless of the fact that I am completely independent, and the fact that my mother refuses to comply with the application process as she does not want me to go back to college, I don’t get any aid. That means that I have to pay my own tuition for school. It’s been rough, but oh so rewarding. I am so, so, so happy, grateful, and excited to be furthering my education and working towards my career as an aspiring Maribe Biologist. I want nothing more.

5) I finally started SCUBA diving again! I found a new instructor to help me as I was having major issues equalizing my ears before which was causing me intense pain and discomfort. My last instructor did not take it seriously and I could have permanently damaged my ears. This new instructor is just so amazing and takes the time and puts in the effort to really help me figure everything out. You get what you pay for. I’m so passionate about the ocean / diving and I was fearful before as I was scared I would not be able to fix the problem with my equalizing but he helped me and I did it!!!  I am just ecstatic.

6) I’m actually working a new job now. I’m working as a narrator on a glass bottom boat in the Keys. This is just wild for me. This is the first job that I’ve had that has anything at all to do with the field I want to be in. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been / can still be extremely daunting as public speaking is definitely something I’ve been fearful of for a long time, but now I’m spending hours talking in front of large crowds of people with a microphone strapped to my face. I’m really glad I was able to make some leeway on that fear and I am actually owning it! I’m getting paid to look at and educate people about dolphins, sharks, turtles, and coral all day. Sometimes I get applause when I’m done. Definitely not used to that part yet.

7) I’ve really realized how precious some of the relationships I have in my life are. I’ve had some very, very good friends move away to other cities and states chasing their dreams. While it’s definitely been saddening to see them go, my heart is so full of joy that I have met these wonderful people who are just as hungry as I am to have a spectacular life and not let ANYTHING hold them / us back from the wonder that life has to offer. I am so, SO proud. Obviously, I’ve also missed my dad since he passed away almost 9 years ago, but this year has definitely made me realize just how much I miss him. I wish he was here and I hope dearly that he is proud of the woman I’m becoming.

8) This year I’ve had so much wild stuff happen. Besides the craziness of 2020, my personal life has been particularly topsy-turvy as well. I sold my beloved Miata as Thor was getting too big for it. I ended up buying a Volkswagen rabbit which had very bad brakes which resulted in me hydroplaning and completely losing control of the car on Mother’s Day, spinning out, and slamming into a wall. I got the car fixed and literally a week later as I was driving it home from work again, it Caught. On. Fire. I had to jump out and call fire rescue. The car was sold to me as is. There was nothing I could do about it and I couldn’t get my money back. I am currently borrowing a friends car (thats another story).  Thor also had another emergency surgery this year as he tore up my bedsheets while I was working one day and swallowed a big chunk. Another instance that happened not too long ago was where I was walking him at night in 65° weather (That’s cold for people in Florida guys, also I’m a pussy) and his collar just gave out and popped off of his neck. He saw a duck and took off straight into the lake which resulted in him swimming all the way out to the very middle of the lake at 9 PM which resulted in me having to jump in and swim out after him to get him back because he’s a little stupid sometimes and I know he’s never been in that deep of water. He’s a lazy dog, he tires out pretty easily, had I not jumped in, there is no doubt in my mind that he would’ve drowned. Definitely wasn’t expecting the lake to be that deep at all, not to mention that the water was freezing and it was basically pitch black out there. At one point I couldn’t see him anymore and I really thought he had drowned. I found him, alive, I got him back. We are safe. Very scary night. My life feels like a movie sometimes, the list of crazy stuff goes on. Despite the book I can write on the insane amount of stuff that’s happened this year alone, I truly admire my resilience. I know sometimes I can be very hard on myself and times get very tough, but when I fall down 753 times, I stand up 754.

9) This one sort of - kind of goes along with the last one, but at some point last year, I kind of lost the sparkle in my eye. I really lost the appreciation that I found for life. As of recently, I have been working very hard to push myself back to a point where my mental health is nothing but a priority. I am once again regaining the passion that I have for living, being able to wake up in the morning, even breathing which I forgot was a privilege.  I am once again hungry, in the best sense of the word, for life. I can’t wait to continue growing and moving forward in this chaotic existence. I am so appreciative for the things that I have and how hard I have worked to get where I am. It has been truly rough out here on my own but as I said earlier, I am so proud of how resilient I have become.

I can’t wait to see what kind of incredible things I accomplish next year. I am so hopeful for the future. Looking forward with bright eyes y’all! I hope everyone has a wonderful New Years and that you can all look back on the craziness that was 2020 and find the good in it as well. Thank you @always-the-2nd for challenging me and always keeping me in mind. It warms my heart to know that you’re in my corner as I am in yours.

[darveyfics]

Could you write a story where Darvey is together but no one knows yet and there's a gala or some fancy party at PSL and someone (mike, rachel, louis) catch them together in one of their offices? Thank u! I love your stories :)

The Celebration - Rated M. (Beta’d)

It was natural, that eventually they’d celebrate the change over. Of Jessica leaving. Of Harvey taking over. Of him taking the reigns.

No less than one calendar year later, the firm was finally standing alone, without the aid of anyone, or anything, and although it was a little late coming in their eyes, the celebration marked the first year of Specter & Litt being a successful business and something to be proud of. 

It had been a hard slog, pulling at every last nerve, but together, as a family, they made it work.

Long gone were the days of anguish and falling under the weight of obstacles being thrown at them.

Donna, in particular, was eager to celebrate. She had been planning this particular party for months. The food, the decorations, the music - a neo-jazz band with a name about town and Harvey’s particular interest - and a shiny new prospective client list for Harvey, Mike and Louis to eagerly sink their teeth into.

Everything had to be especially perfect because the firm was now hers, just as much as it was Harvey’s and Louis’s. She made sure that everything was to the very letter. She had decided to hold the party in the Library and research areas of their main ‘Associate’ floor, which over the past few months had begun to fill more than she’d seen it do in over two years. More and more young Associates, hungry Partners and solid Administration flooded through the doors with every month that passed between Jessica being disbarred and their pact to get the firm back to a newer kind of glory.

Over the last year, ‘S & L’ had become a veritable dark horse, the very opposite of a cautionary tale, an almost ‘urban legend’ of New York City, of a firm that rose from the ashes of it’s predecessor, being the down trodden eight ball, only to knock over every pin with it’s phoenix-like thirst for success.

Now, they were reigning back in the big leagues with the very best that Corperate Law had to offer. 

Suddenly, people flocked from all over to be part of the firm where you could accomplish anything you set your heart to.

They were like law equivalent of The Wolves of Wall Street, without the sudden career change…

Specter & Litt - home of the hard worker, the hardass the hard done by. If you were looking to make waves then you hitched your wagon right ->:here:

And tonight, would be a celebration of that particular rebirth.

Donna had paid close attention to everyone’s attire, asking each of them what they were wearing before deciding, with careful consideration, to go with a Saiid Kobeisy one of a kind - a show she’d seen at New York Fashion Week earlier that year, and instantly fell head over in love with one particular design, the colour and the style matching every intention she had laid out in her head.

She straightens in the mirror of the women’s bathroom, looking at the dress, as it hugs her curves. 

The dress is lilac, with a large fold of material across her breasts and upper arms, making it shoulder-less but with the mere hint of a sleeve. The dress gathers above the knee in a short, softly pleated skirt, that lengthens at the sides and drapes around her back into a slight train design, but without the over-hang. It’s perfect enough to show off her long legs - the model at the time had even donned her signature nude pumps - and to add to the drama the dress is emblazoned with white cherry bloom stems and leaves that cover the material in a delicate trail from her chest all the way to her toes.

She glances at her loose coopery waves and diamond earrings.

The perfect touch

, she thinks, as she picks up a coral lipstick from her bag and runs the creamy texture against her lips.

She feels like a million dollars, which is a sheer bargain considering how much she paid for it.

She hears the door swish, looking up to observe Rachel in a sultry number, a long dark blue Lela Rose evening dress, with a flowered lace ‘cape’ of the same colour draping over her shoulders and chest.

Rachel had spoken in length with Donna, about her want to keep herself looking demure and professional. After all, she was a young Lawyer, beginning to make waves in the world, and although this was a party, she didn’t want to catch too many eyes.

Donna would always be beguiled by this noticeably beautiful woman’s automatic diversion to ‘wall-flower’ when the occasion arose for the exact opposite.

She on the other hand…was an attention seeker and proud. 

“Hey Gorgeous,” Donna smiles, observing her elegant looking friend as she glides over to the mirror beside her.

“Donna…You. Look. Stunning.” Rachel compliments, her mouth opening in effect.

“Oh,” Donna shrugs, rolling her eyes. “This old thing?” She shrugs, smirking with an unrestrained confidence.

“Maybe I should start going to Fashion week,” Rachel remarks, smirking lavishly at her friend as she sidles closer to her, a flirtation about her then. “So….” She asks, dragging out the vowel. “You got a date to tonight?” She asks the redhead, quirking an eyebrow at her taller friend. 

She looks down at Rachel. “As gorgeous as you are Rachel, I’m not looking to be the guy in the relationship,” She jokes, arching a suggestive looking eyebrow. “But if you ask me a couple more times…” She pouts, giving her the once over.

Rachel chuckles, rolls her eyes. “So…no date?” She asks, running a hand through her hair.

“No,” She says in that slightly dismissive tone. “Tonight…is about us..as a family, celebrating what we brought back from the dead.” She explains simply, picking up her lipstick.

“I just…I worry about you.” Rachel shrugs.

“Oh don’t worry about me. I’m getting fed.” She assures her friend.

She knows she’s exaggerated a bit, when Rachel’s eyebrows hit the ceiling, as she turns animatedly to her friend. 

 “Oh…so there IS a boyfriend.” Rachel infers, giving her friend the fourth, fifth and several other levels of degree.

“Who said anything about boyfriend,” Donna plays, her nose twitching as she picks up her purse. “Come on, lady friend…we have a party to storm, and I have several catering staff to pester.” She reminds her.

She hears Rachel chuckle, following her to the door.

. .

. .

Harvey is feeling…smug. The library in particular looks divine, with flowers and a sense of real occasion about it. He taps his foot to the playful rhythm of the band in the corner, as he’s handed a glass of champagne by a server, who takes his empty whiskey glass in return.

Donna has…truly outdone herself, he thinks to himself, as he observes the Partners and associates all mingling together, talking with clients, guests and strangers alike. There is something…like the buzz of promise in the air, and it’s the perfect climate for him to watch from afar like a true spectator. He’d spent over an hour, earlier, moving like a honey bee from flower to flower, checking in with all the clients that he deemed worthy of his time and dodging those he deemed less so, or else diverting them to Louis for strange conversations about the Ballet or Taxes or somewhere in between.

He lifts the flute, the rim of the glass hitting his lips and tasting that cool, carbonated crispness, the flavours of subtle peach and lemon and apple that linger like notes in the music of a fine champagne.

“That’s gonna run through you,” A voice chimes, as he frowns, giving the owner of said voice a stern look.

“Will you just…” He pauses, reaching out to a server to pull another glass off of a black tray. “Here, shut your mouth with this,” He orders, handing the glass to his friend.

“Wow, someone’s testy,” Mike chimes, looking to his friend as he tastes a small sip of his own drink. “Or should I say prostate-y...is that too on the nose?” Mike muses, ignoring a dead-panned glance from his friend.

“Not testy,” Harvey corrects. “Just wanting to enjoy my party, instead of hear about how old I’m getting.” He notes. “Let’s…celebrate. We’ve sure as hell earned it.” He offers, taking another long sip of champagne.

“I’m surprised you don’t have a date to this thing. A chance to drape another Victoria’s Secret Model on your arm? I thought you’d jump at the chance.” Mike remarks, interest in his voice.

“I had a cancellation,” Harvey answers glumly, looking to his friend before looking back to the crowd.

“Oh no….are you losing your edge?” Mike asks, mock shock on his face.

“It appears so.” Harvey groans. “Besides…you don’t have a date, either.” Harvey counters. 

“That’s because my wife is here.” Mike scoffs.

“And here’s you calling me old. I can see your manacle from here..” Harvey chides, giving his friend a withering look.

“Speaking of, when are you going to finally...settle down?” Mike asks. “Or is Harvey Specter an eternal bachelor?”

“The answer to that, is for me to know, and for you to…keep your nose out of,” He says, blinking several times.

“Oh my god, Donna…” Mike interrupts, giving words to the tightness in Harvey’s chest, as they observe Donna gliding into the room with Rachel in tow. “And the reason you’re not with her, again is…” Mike points, wandering towards the two women.

“You realise she’s not your wife, right?” Harvey queries.

“Obviously, Rachel looks beautiful too,” Mike adds, clearing his throat.

He smirks behind his glass, letting himself draw a breath at the sight of her in front of him. He licks his lips, looking down at his tuxedo as a few things connect suddenly in his mind.

He had wondered, earlier in the day, why there was a slightly lilac tinge to his tuxedo shirt. For a second, he thought that the dry cleaners had royally fucked up. He smirks to himself, pouting at her for a second, before shrugging any impulse off.

.

“Ladies…you both look stunning,” Mike compliments, bending to kiss his other half, before pecking Donna on the cheek.

“Thankyou Michael.” Donna smiles warmly, observing his own attire. “You look lovely too.” She says, smirking.

“Do I?” Mike plays, spinning in a circle. “And there’s me thinking that I bought the wrong size.” 

“Well, your ass still looks like a peanut in a cotton hanky, but…it works,” Donna quips.

“Hey,” Mike and Rachel protest in unison, although only one of them sniggers at her remark.

“Where’s Louis?” Donna asks, looking about the room.

“Oh….boring the ears off of Henry Mendelsonne, I assume.” Harvey interrupts, a tray of four drinks balanced in one hand, and a confident smirk smearing across his face.

He hands everyone a glass, leaving Donna till last.

She gives him a challenging look. “If you drop those, I’m not paying for it.” She notes, boldly taking the glasses from him as he hands the tray to a passing server. “It’s not in the budget.” She adds.

“Let’s not pretend I couldn’t wait tables around these kids.” He says, giving her a withering look.”

“Looking for a career change?” She asks, withholding a smirk.

“I never pegged you for a Cater Waiter, Harvey.” Mike comments, giving him the once over for effect.

“Oh yeah…I used to get tips. Go home with the Hostess, you know…” He says, smirking to each of them until his eyes land on Donna and he glances casually at Mike. “You all seem to forget, I started in the mailroom here…I had to make an extra buck somehow. This place didn’t pay worth a damn back then.”

“And there’s me thinking you were a Naked Butler…you know….Magic Mike’ing up the joint.” Mike adds. 

“That’s not the same thing,” Harvey smiles, frowning at his friend’s idiocy.

“The depths of your imagination never cease to amaze me, Michael.” Donna remarks, glancing at Harvey for a second.

“You know, the mailroom does actually compliment us on our above average pay-scaling.” Rachel adds, joining in with the banter.

“Okay, but back to Harvey being a rookie Mailroom clerk and having to get his ass out for tips.” Mike says, trying to divert the conversation further.

“Do we possibly have anything else to talk about?” Harvey offers, exasperated at Mike’s home run of a roasting streak.

“It’s either that, or the fact that you didn’t bring a date tonight.” Mike divulges, looking to the two woman. “He got stood up by a Victoria’s Secret Model.” Mike tells the group, not an ounce of entertainment left out of his expression at the mere occurrence of such a thing.

Harvey groans, shaking his head at his friend.

The Great Harvey Specter…without a date…god forbid…

“Speaking of which,” Mike adds. “Where’s your date, Donna?”

“Look…” Donna says, popping a hip in defence. “Just because the two of you jumped into the world of Matrimony, some of us…are just happy to enjoy this night without the complication of a date.” Donna counters. “Think about it. You have include them…in the world of law…which is boring…you don’t get to get drunk…or hit on Roman, the new mail guy, and then it’s one awkward goodbye conversation or an awkward conversation in the morning.”

“Are we talking about dates, or Roman the mailroom guy?” Harvey interjects.

“Can you have one without the other?” She pouts, popping a hip for a effect as she glides between the middle of her friends, leaving them speechless. “I better go check on things,” She notes, catwalking through the crowd, as she glides sleekly past Harvey.

With almost perfect timing, Louis swans into the gaggle of people, watching Donna’s retreating form as his eyes widen and his jaw almost hits the floor at the sheer sight of the disappearing redhead.

“Do my eyes deceive me….like an angel in the night.” Louis says, more to himself if he hadn’t been so loud.

“You okay there Louis?” Harvey asks, patting his friends back. “You stoned again?”

“Are you all blind? How are you not completely entranced by this woman?” Louis gestures wildly, his eyes squarely focused on Donna’s lilac and auburn shape disintegrating into moving sea of people.

“Take a breath Louis, otherwise you’ll have another heart attack,” Harvey remarks harshly, glancing in the other direction as he fills his face with champagne just to cut out the feelings coursing through him.

. .

. .

Two hours later, nearing nine o’clock now, and the party really is in full swing. The band is becoming more upbeat, the champagne is flowing with a fluidity that runs through almost every person present at the function. Harvey has three prospective, and hot in the market new clients under his belt - Mike and Louis tallying behind with two each - and all of his veteran clients are pleased that the firm is finally out of the woods. That their past failures are firmly behind them.

For all intents and purposes, Harvey’s attention is firmly set on sewing up the night, as it were.

Images have been flying about his head all night, enveloping him in a sensory experience of the past, keeping him just entertained enough.

He realises, though. Something specific. 

He’s not quite the man he used to be. 

Some things have changed considerably over the past year.

One thing, in particular. Or rather, one person, in particular.

He stalks his prey quietly, and with a directed concentration like a hawk in the sky. His eyes switch to Mike and Rachel, nowhere to be seen, and with a relaxed breath he examines the scene. Her, alone for the briefest of moments, and as yet, unattended.

He plucks another two glasses of fizz, and swaggers over to his intended target.

. .

. .

“So…lavender shirt, huh?”

Donna jumps slightly out of her skin, looking behind her, to observe Harvey with two glasses of champagne in one hand, and a free hand sweeping across the middle of her back. His best impression of a proper Gentleman, despite the over-confident smirk.

She restrains a smirk of her own, before her head raises, and she regards him, her expression levelling deliberately.

“So…you did notice.” She says, in sotto voce, quiet beneath the loud wall of sound.

“We both know what lavender means…I thought I was coming to a funeral tonight.” He says, his look overly meaningful.

She smiles, her head tilting at his seriousness. “You silly man…perhaps…colours can be for more than the vestiges of your hidden emotions and repressed mindset?” She offers, lightening the tone almost instantly.

“Well, if you have to be boring,” He remarks, allowing her to take a glass from his hand, as she raises it to her lips.

“You look absolutely stunning, by the way,” He replies heavily.

“It’s a present.” She remarks, her hand sweeping in a gesture at her attire and all but pointing at him. “And why do you sound so disappointed by the concept?” She asks, sounded wounded against the effort she’s made.

“Maybe because I have to look at it from afar, instead of get to unwrap it and enjoy what’s underneath.” He manages, his jaw setting with the honest tension of his predicament. “You’re like a cruel Parent at christmas.” He accuses, giving her an accusatory look.

“And you’re like a broke virgin staring at a classy hooker.” She tells him, one perfectly groomed eyebrow planting the accusation.

“Your words lady, not mine.” He smirks. “And we both know…I am anything but broke.” He reminds her, downing his glass in one, before he leaves it on one of the high tables littered about the room. He leans towards her, his warm breath tickling her ear as he whispers into it. “My Office. Ten minutes. If you don’t show up…I’m leaving you.” He warns, before swaggering past her.

She giggles in response, the prospect of a thing infinitesimal, based on his past actions alone.

She follows suit, downing her own drink in one before gliding towards the caterers, giving them strict instructions until she gets back in…half an hour or so.

She never can be sure…

. .

. .

The elevator doors open on the fiftieth floor, the silence palpable the moment her heels hit the plush carpet. She had decided to leave the main Partner’s floor out of the party spirit. Too much chance for people to have a nose about and breach the ‘no shop talk’ rule she had implemented in a pre-party memo days before. This was firmly a celebration only party, with a limited law-focus - save for any new clients, and usual amount of schmoozing needed, of course - and some good old fashioned fun and mingling.

She glides down the hall, her brain running on automatic as her dress swishes behind her.

She’s stalked these halls more times than she can count over the years, and every single time is different somehow.

And out of every single one of those times, she’s never once done this.

She’s been…very clear with him.

Leave the ‘personal’ at home. And all things ‘professional’ at work.

Sometimes they overstep, or the two bleed into one another, but never to this degree. But she can’t deny, that tonight of all nights, she’s firmly feeling…in the party kind of mood.

She spots him leaning against the ledge of the magnificent view in his office, his eyes dark, and his chest puffed out with confidence. He looks calm and poised and with the kind of smoulder that she’d spent years ignoring. There’s none of that doubt that used to linger in his head, either, of when they first came together. He’s learnt to accept that where he is concerned, Donna has been and always will be a fixed point in his own personal sky.

He pushes off of the ledge, as she glides towards him with purpose, his arms catching her waist as she slides her arms around his shoulders, like she did that very first time she’d kissed him. Only this time, he’s not in shock, or behind the eight ball, their chests colliding as his lips welcome the way hers allow him full passage, his tongue sliding into her mouth, as her fingers rake through his hair.

She disconnects from him for a second, looking into his lust-ridden eyes.

“This is a Haley’s Comet of a moment, so you better fuck me hard and good and thoroughly.”

“Noted,” He remarks cooly, earning a snort from her as his hands roam over body once more.

He’s going to press her up against his desk, and it’s going to be perfect.

All he can think about is that dress, and an endgame…

. .

. .

Mike’s been frowning for about eight and a half minutes, staring into the middle distance.

“Mike…?” Rachel calls, waving a hand in front of his face. “What’s up?”

“What?” He blinks, looking down at his other half.

“What’s going on….are you drunk?” She accuses, smiling.

“No,” Mike muses, narrowing his eyes into the crowd. “Well, yes, but…no.”

“Then what’s with the look?” She asks.

His eyes slide around his wife’s shoulders, as he turns her into the crowd.

“Do you notice anything…weird?” He asks her.

“Uh…no?” She frowns, taking a moment to observe. “Louis is being rather animated over there, but otherwise…the music’s good. The food is turning out and the champagne is…making everyone here very drunk.”

“Okay. Noted. But what’s...missing…?” He offers.

“Ugh…I don’t know, isn’t this a question for Donna?” She asks, bending to look back at him.

He looks to his other half, watching the deduction come together slowly like lazy clouds.

For a smart woman, she can be a little behind with the non-law stuff…

Her eyes grow wide as she looks to Mike. “Where’s Donna?” She asks, her expression gaining a potent interest.

“Moreover, where’s Harvey?” He adds, giving her a look.

“Harvey…oh.” She folds her arms then. “Indeed. Where IS Harvey…” She wonders to herself…narrowing her eyes.

“Mike, buddy, have you seen Harvey?” Louis clamps a hand down on Mike’s shoulder. 

“No Louis…” Mike says, looking to him. “I haven’t…but I’ll bet I know where they might be…”

“‘They?’” Louis frowns, blinking.

. .

. .

“Why do you do this to me?” He groans, pressing her up against his desk, his wet lips sliding against her swanlike neck as he presses himself into the waves of lilac material that drape over her angular hips.

Her hands slide across his suited chest, her lips swollen and bruised as she sighs against the feeling of his tongue lapping at her skin. “Do what? I’m not doing anything, if anything...you’re doing most of the work.” She accuses lightly.

He can almost hear her smirk. 

She likes to be in charge, he’s realised.

“Oh I think we both know that you have a way of micromanaging me.” He remarks.

“Micro? Really?” She comments, earning an countering look to fleet across his smug features.

“Back to the dress,” He tells her, his head bending around her jawline.

“Again…I don’t know what you’re referring to. I just…picked a dress.”

His head darts up, his eyes meeting hers with the darkest of gazes. “You think I don’t remember the last one you wore?” He reminds her.

“Ohh…for the…merger party,” She remarks coyly, playing with the words like a cat dangling yarn. “And there’s me thinking you had your eyes on Scottie that night,” She plays, knowing how it catches at him.

“Even Scottie noticed…you were all…legs…and a smirk.”

“Is that my new nickname?” She asks. “Because, I like it,” She hums, half in appreciation for the way his lips slides across the top of her breasts, pausing between the valley to plant two silk-soft kisses. “Harvey,” She reminds him, in hearing him groan a little too loudly. “We promised to keep this headlines only. Remember?” She reminds him, giving him a stern look.

“And there’s me thinking I’d get to the comic strip on the last page,” He purrs, examining her flushed face, and slightly hazy looking expression.

“Well you’re sure as shit not getting the crossword!” She says, her eyes widening. “This is our place of work,” She lectures.

“No-one will be up here,” He tries to assure her, his hands grasping her waist as he sucks at her neck for a second before the moment that he knows she’ll protest at.

She’s like that. She doesn’t him mark her and it drives him to distraction.

She knows her audience… knows how to play his edge until he’s almost pulling his hair out. And then she goes for the pass…every damn time.

“Oh come on. This dress could hide a war. And I’m pretty sure you could hide my…”

“Okay…not what it’s for.” She notes, cutting him off.

“Donna…” He pauses, pulling back for effect. “I’m horny.” He whinges.

She laughs then, something big and guttural, at his rather bold confession.

“Oh baby…” She pouts, her hands rising to slide against his cheekbones for a moment, observing the way his eyes bend with a manipulative sense of held innocence.

“Couch. I’m on top. And if someone comes, you better grab a pillow and hide your dick with a lightning reflex.” She fires the conditions, pointing a finger at him with a sternness.

“I love you,” He says softly, his shoulders relaxing then.

“I know…” She smirks, rubbing a hand over his face and trying at cruel until he pulls her to him in a rush, his lips crashing against hers with a now mapped intention like he is Columbus and she is America. For a tall woman, she’s quite light, as he lifts her up, pressing her body around him, as her legs, strangely free for a long dress wrap around his waist. He collects all the material that bunches at her back. She bends down, grasping his shoulders as her head tilts, lips finding their way to his with an eager smile and a nimble tongue.

He walks backwards, almost falling onto the edge of the couch, having masterfully dodged the coffee table, as her legs slide to either side of him, preempting the fall. She’s at that height where her breasts are there, forced up in her corset and in his face, just waiting for him to plant a hickey against a lucky one or both of them. When he looks up at her, he can see her thoughts, that precision stare of him. If he does it, it’ll have to be quick…whilst she’s in the throws. He’s already hard, having ground against her hip enough times to assure himself that he needs no introduction where she’s concerned. Every single one of the low-key months that they’ve actually been together, have been a pure joy. Five months of blissful sex and uncomplicated togetherness. He’s never been happier. Everyone has noticed. But the ‘why’…they’ve managed to keep very much a secret.

He intakes a sharp breath as her long arms fold under herself, grazing across his prominent erection and unzipping his suit pants, as her lips find his, sucking her mouth against his as their tongues dance and duel. She feels his hands join hers, and she moans instantly as he sweeps her thong to one side, over a buttock and presses into her, his hands falling upward and around her lilac coloured hips, giving him something to tangible to thrust against as he enters her fully. She arches, a lazy smile on her lips that soon forms into a pout as she controls the motion, her hands drawing patterns of the movements at the back of his head.

They have a natural rhythm now, something old and reminiscent of their youth, and yet controlled and well practiced, like that of two lovers completely in sync with one another. The angle is sharp enough to get her off, so it’s a shock when his warm thumb seems to creep under the material, and press against her centre. Her eyes flash down at him, wincing at the strange feeling of him against her and inside her. He smirks, his eyes flashing in that way that makes her want to go down on him and fuck him simultaneously - something she mentions more times than she’s able to accomplish - and she quickens the pace, her hands raking down his back as she uses her years and years of yoga practise to ride him with unbridled intent.

He closes his eyes, the feeling overcoming him, as she starts to moan, louder and louder and deeper, his hands scratching over her buttocks, only to feel himself start to reach the end.

“Shit,” He mutters.

“You close?” She manages, her breath thready.

“You could…say…that,” He manages, his right eyebrow twitching as the words come out in shitty little pieces.

She grabs his face then, looking into his eyes with every ounce of feeling. “Harvey…fuck me.” She says.

He always was good at the commands she gave him, as he takes over, thrusting upwards, harder and deeper and with more force as his hands wrap around her tiny waist, trying to peel the bodice off of her hips.

She feels herself flush, her cheeks heating as she whimpers, feeling him moving to a crescendo, as he thrusts, once, twice…

“Here they are guys, see I told you they bailed out…” Mike’s voice reaches into the room. “Oh shit,” He stalls, the bodies of Louis and Rachel halting with a bump next to him.

Harvey closes his eyes, moaning loudly, something barely audible as he fills her with what feels like everything he has in him.

He feels himself a wash with calm, a soothing wave of having just made love to his best person…the only one in his entire world.

He feels a firm tap on his shoulder, something alien in the moment, as he looks up to her, her eyes suddenly wide and alert as she points with her left hand towards the door.

“Shit,” He mutters, starting at three backs…

“Hey guys…something you wanna tell us?” He hears Mike’s voice call behind his own shoulder.

“This is weird, I should go,” Louis says staunchly, marching off in the direction of his own office, blanched with shock.

He looks to Donna, an embarrassed if not entertained smirk as he buries his head in her chest.

“Hey…at least I wore a really big dress.” She says, smirking against his loud groan. She looks to the two remaining backs of their friends. “Guys…we’re gonna need like…ten minutes?” Donna requests, as always, lacking in shame.

Unlike one person she knows…

“Okay,” Rachel says, her arms folding. “But then we’re having a very long discussion about why this was kept a secret from us!” Rachel calls back, a ‘teacher’ note about her voice.

“Okay, great, looking forward to it,” Donna says, watching her friends round the corner and out of view with an awkwardness.

Harvey lifts his head, finally, looking at her with a less than thrilled expression.

“We’re in trouble.” She teases, smirking.

“Yeah…I guessed that.” He says, his face readying itself.

“Look at it this way…we had five good months.” She offers, with a comical look holding up her hand.

“A High five? Really?” He groans, less than enthused. His perfect world is now forever broken.

“Did you know…men who don’t high five their girlfriends go straight to hell?” She points out, sliding off of him as she readjusts herself, watching as he zips up his pants.

“Well..we’re going there anyway…” He remarks heavily.

“Okay I need the…bathroom.” She calls, walking with a haste.

He observes her linger by the doorway for a moment.

“Bathroom?” He checks, wondering why she’s still here. She must have a pelvic floor made of steel…

“Well..aren’t you coming? The disabled bathroom has a lock, you know?” She points out, looking at him with a strict insinuation.

“Is that a promise?” He queries, smirking at the idea of hiding from their friends in a place where they won’t get caught, this time.

“Oh Harvey…you should know me by now…” She smiles.

And he does, know her. Finally…

The prospect of more sex manages to one-eighty his mood in four seconds flat. 

They manage to dodge their friend’s questions for another twelve hours, until they are ambushed.

… 

A_

**Sorry guys beta’ing this text on here is hard!

Fun Fact: The dress I had Donna wear is on my tumblr stream. the lilac one of the bunch from the Saiid Kobeisy xoxo

[ambitiousfeegirl-blog]

Interview with ME!

- What is your Full name? Include any maiden names, aliases, or nicknames. Serafina Lynn James. Sera, usually. Fee, evidently, as well. Thanks, UK. - When is your birthday? Do you know where you were born and at what time? May 10th. Born in Panama City, FL... I think at 10:20AM?  - What is your star sign? Do you know your Chinese Zodiac too? Taurus!! And Horse. :)

- What is your earliest memory that you can remember? Eating Shrimp Chow Mein with my dad. I think I was three, maybe? - Where was your childhood home? Was it more urban or rural? Not on the beach, but close. Definitely not urban, though. That’s not really how Panama City works. - How was your childhood in general? Did your parents treat you well? Did you have a lot of friends? I had a decent childhood, I guess. Parents divorced when I was young, but they were both good to me as a kid. I was sort of a loner, though, if I’m being honest. I had friends, but I was perfectly content just playing outside by myself.  - How was/is school? What is your favorite and least favorite subjects? What were your grades on average? School was miserable and I absolutely abhor the entire experience, with the exception of the internship it landed me and... eventually the job it landed me. The less said about it the better. I majored in business administration, minored in sociology. - Did you have a best friend growing up? What was their name? Are you still in touch? Amy Lynn. We bonded over a shared middle name and the fact that I accidentally made her puke on a merry-go-round. We are not in touch as much as I would like. She’s got a husband and a kid with another on the way and I’m... you know... working. We talk when we can.  - Were you in any cliques? I hung out with anime fans and comic book fans and tae kwon do kids? I don’t know, are those cliques? Probably not. - Best childhood memory you can recall? The first time I ever saw a live wrestling show. My dad took me to Fall Brawl 97, and at seven years old, it was the coolest thing I’d ever seen. The first match set me up for the rest of my life. Jericho vs. Guerrero. I never looked back after that. - Worst childhood memory you can recall? The day my dad moved out.  - Name an event in your childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today Uh... yeah, Fall Brawl 97. True story. - What is the dumbest thing you have ever done to impress someone? Were they impressed or was it all for naught? Probably taking this job all on my own. This is definitely a task for more than one person, but... I can do it. I know I can and I’m going to show Regal that he was wrong to waste me for so long.  - Did you ever have any sweethearts or lovers? Do you have a boy/girlfriend? Sweethearts, lol. Who even says that? I had boyfriends in high school, but nothing serious. And only one long term relationship that started in college. Four years down the fucking drain. Ugh. - Are you a virgin? Lord no. LOL - Do you ever plan on getting married in your life? Do you want kids? See above statement. I’m too busy for that ish. - Would you rather have your own kids or adopt? How many kids would you want? You know... if I DID decide to have kids... I don’t know. Adoption is a wonderful thing, because lord knows there are already so many unwanted babies in this world. Sad, but true. I think adoption is a wonderful option, really. - Do you think you'd be a protective parent or a relaxed parent? Uhhh, given how I am with the boys? Protective. Like... ultra protective. - How would you prefer to pass away? Surrounded by loved ones and at peace, or while doing something heroic? Having mindblowing sex with my mortal enemy. ‘Cause not only do I get to go out hatefucking someone (!), but it’s bound to ruin the experience for them and that’s not something they will forget EVER.  - Generally, how healthy are you? Do you get sick or injured easily or are you fit? Thanks to WWE medical, I’m healthy and chugging down vitamins like it’s my job. - Have you ever been badly injured before? Broke my wrist as a kid and I have a nagging ankle issue, but nothing SERIOUS, no. - What is the worst injury you have ever gotten? What was it and how did it happen? Were you ever close to death? Honestly, I’ve been really lucky. The broken wrist was probably the worst, but honestly, it wasn’t even that big of a deal. - How many times have you been to the hospital/doctor's? I avoid them at all costs. Let’s not even talk about it. - Have you ever had a concussion or brain injury? Have you ever had amnesia? Nope, though that’s surprising as hell since Coach Brookside decided I needed to learn how to bump once I actually started working for the company.  - What was the worst illness you ever contacted? Do you know what it was? How long were you sick? I just really don’t get sick. I think maybe I had strep a few years back, but I literally did nothing about it, so I don’t even know if it was actually strep or not. - Ever had any extended hospital stays? What for? Nope! - Have you ever had to give yourself or someone else emergency first aid? What happened? Yes. I have stitched up my dad when we went camping (not fun), I definitely had to put a hole in my toenail to drain the blood when I smashed it (extra not fun), and I have changed about a hundred bandages for various injuries to myself, my mom, my dad and a few of the boys. - Are you employed? Where do you work and who do you work for? What do you do?  I am currently a member of the WWE Talent Relations office, based in the UK just recently. Like literally three days ago. It’s still sort of surreal. Previously, I was a personal assistant to Mr. William Regal. I sometimes feel like I was sent here as a rib, because that’s one hell of a freakin’ leap, but... here I am, so. Make the most of it, right? - Are you happy with your current job? I literally couldn’t be happier. - Did you have any previous jobs? What were they and what did you do? Mostly small stuff, office management, retail BS, bartender... - Most dangerous thing you have ever done? I’m sure my mom would say something about texting and driving (which I don’t do, mom, and neither should any one else!) but honestly... probably insisting on WWE giving me something more to do, because we see how that turned out. - Do you consider yourself a more active person or a more relaxed person? Active? I mean, I’m not going out running every day... not that kind of active. I stay in shape, but I am literally always doing things. I am constantly working, so... active in that sense, I guess. - What is your dream come true? How about your worst nightmare? To be in charge of NXT. <3 Worst nightmare? Failure.  - What is the biggest and most important goal you have set for yourself? To be in charge of NXT. You’re only as good as the person you help to get a promotion, Mr. Regal... :) - How persistent would you say you are? How much does it take to get you to give up on a task? I’ve been told I’m obnoxiously persistent and it must be true, because here I am. And I don’t ever quit on any goal. I’ve always accomplished anything I’ve set my mind to. - Would you surrender yourself to your enemies or fight to the very end? Surrender is a tool of war that is either a signal of defeat or treachery.  - When do you usually do your shopping? What is currently on your shopping list? Literally, everything is on my shopping list. I am moving into my new flat on Wednesday, so like... ALL of the groceries. Mostly organics. - Top three things on your wishlist? To be in charge of NXT... though I can’t really buy that at the store and I’m pretty sure that’s what they were going for here...  1.) Body Shop Banana Shampoo & Conditioner 2.) Another Key Lime Pie smoothie from the place down the street 3.) And maybe it makes me a mark, but I want a Kenny Omega bear, damnit. (sorry boss!) - Currently, what is something you want but do not need? That damn bear, for sure. - Do you like shopping? What is your favorite thing to shop for? I mean, I guess? I don’t really get to just go shopping all that often. Just like... typical clothes shopping? Maybe?? Is that really a priority in people’s lives? - What is the most expensive thing you have purchased? Was it worth it? My old TV. 4K. It was nice. SIGH. I miss it. - What would you do if you were suddenly given one billion dollars out of the blue? Uhhhhh... wow. I’d do the typical stuff. By my mom a house, get a new car, by MYSELF a house, too, pay off my student debt, donate a shit ton of money to charity... start a wildlife rescue and refuge! - What would you describe your style of clothing as? It depends. I’m definitely business casual at work, but like.. more towards the business end. Outside of work, if I’m WEARING clothes, it’s gonna be a baggy tank and jeans, sandals, sunglasses. - Do you have any hobbies? Name all of them if you can. I used to sing a lot, but honestly work has consumed my life and I am a-ok with that.  - Do you like and appreciate art? What is your favorite piece of artwork? I DO! And I can’t put that on here, because his head will get exponentially bigger than it already is. - Do you like music? What is your favorite style of music? Oh gosh, I like everything. I’m currently wavering between Kenny Chesney and Kaleo right now. But I like a lot of different things. Bluegrass, EDM, Classical, Hip hop... if it’s good, I like it. - Have you ever seen any musicals? What is your favorite? PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.  - What are your top three favorite animals? What would you say your "Patronus" or "Spirit Animal" is? Hm. Top three favorite animals... Florida panther, giraffe, panda My spirit animal is 137% a bear.  - What are your top three favorite colors? Deep dark purple, Emerald Green and Maroon - What is your favorite season? Do you prefer hotter or colder weather? Do you like snow at all? Summer. Always summer. Fuck the cold. - What kind of flavors do you prefer: Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Spicy, Dry, or Umami (savory meat taste)? I like them all, but... I’m going with Sweet and Sour, baby. (12 LARGE). Damn, I just made myself sad. - Can you cook at all? Yes, though the quality of that cooking is always up in the air. - What is your favorite dish? Can you prepare it? Do you have the recipe handy? Shrimp Chow Mein. I’ve never even attempted to make it nor do I have a recipe. You know, I probably SHOULD try to make it, though. - What is your favorite fruit and vegetable? Fruit: Peaches Vegetable: Asparagus - What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite type of candy/treat? Key Lime Pie. <3 Candy is always always gummi worms. - What is the best thing you have ever had the opportunity to eat? What is the worst? Frog legs, freshly caught and sauteed in garlic butter. Only really good if you catch them yourself, though.  Worst thing ever? Any frozen green tea things. Popsicles were the WORST. - Do you like to drink tea or coffee? Any favorite flavors? I love hot tea, Earl Grey or English Breakfast. And yes, I am a coffee addict. - Describe your sense of humor. Sarcastic. - What is one thing you are justly proud of? My persistence paying off and landing me the job of a lifetime. - Do you have any religious beliefs? If not, have you ever been to a church service? Not my bag, no. I have been to church and actually grew up attending a baptist church every Sunday for years. It was enough to kill any interest in religion. - What would you say is the worst thing someone has done to you? What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you? The ex did some messed up shit.  - What is the worst thing you have done to someone? What is the meanest thing you have said to anyone? I also did some messed up shit, based on the ex’s messed up shit. - Share the latest entry in your diary/journal. Basically me whining about having slept 20 hours. Thanks, jet lag!  - What is the most precious thing you own? Is it valuable at all? My sense of self and my drive. It’s invaluable. - Talk about someone you know. It can be someone you either like or dislike. Hm. I think I’m going to save this question for it’s own little post someday this week. - FREE QUESTION NO! IMPRISONED QUESTION IS BEING HELD FOR JUSTIFIABLE REASONS AND WILL NOT BE FREED! 

[alkaria]

Nero’s SU S3 Rewrite

Hello! I got bored and procrastinated this yesterday. I was watching a few AMVs and it struck me how S3, narratively, is worse than S2. If you consider the S1 structure, with the Birthday arc as the mid-season finale, Malachite/the Cluster as the hype for the second half of the season, it should really be filler in the middle and then all the high-impact eps at the end. So I rejigged it a little. Details under the cut since it’s quite long (I got carried away)

Okay, so this assumes most of the S3 first half proceeds as normal, aside from Barn Mates (4), where Steven actually calls Lapis out on being a dick to Peridot, and Lapis explains that she’d really prefer to be alone to deal with her conflicts – but that she’ll put up with Peridot if she’s allowed to do it at her own pace. This is just to try and make the Peridot/Lapis relationship evolution more natural.

Greg the Babysitter (16) gets moved before Monster Reunion (14) and Alone at Sea to keep plot-based episodes all in the latter half of the season and keep the Jasper arc more intact.

Alone at Sea (15): Jasper and Lapis’ conversation goes differently entirely. Jasper doesn’t plead. She instead challenges Lapis, and when Steven tries to intervene, she traps him in a bubble.

J: “You could have beaten me fair and square, Lazuli. But you fused with me. You tricked me. Why?” L: “I spent five thousand years trapped by the Crystal Gems, and then you go and lock me up again! For once, I wanted to be the one in control.” Jasper accepts Lapis’ arguments but turns away. She reaches the edge of the boat. J:  “You’ll regret this. We could have been something, Lapis. This is your last chance. Fuse with me. Be Malachite again and destroy Rose Quartz. You’ll go back to Homeworld a hero.” L: “That’s not Rose any more, Jasper. I won’t hurt Steven. I’m – I can be happy here. I will be.” Jasper pops the bubble and Steven falls to the floor. J:  “You picked your side. Her side. No more chances.” Jasper glares at Steven before jumping back into the ocean. The ship does not sink. The idea with Alone at Sea was to give us a bit more understanding and development of Lapis through her discussing with Jasper why she tricked her - and goes some way to remove the weird metaphors/interpretation of Jasper wanting to be Malachite again, because whatever the intention, I don’t think the Malachite as Bad Relationship thing worked well.

This puts Alone at Sea right before Jasper’s next appearance in Gem Hunt (17). This is unchanged.

Crack the Whip (18): Amethyst is poofed and Stevonnie briefly holds their own against Jasper, but after the Quartz monster is poofed and Amethyst reforms, Jasper does a spin-dash, knocking Stevonnie off-balance and causing them to unfuse.

Steven crawls over to Connie. Both are in pain. S: “Connie, are you alright?” C: “I’m – I’m fine.” J:  “Even your fusions are defective, Rose! This is it.” Jasper charges for Steven and Connie – and is blocked by Garnet and Pearl, because future vision is a thing. J:  “You’re so weak that you can’t even fight your own battles, Rose? Hah!” Jasper does an anime laugh. “I have my own army now, and it’s coming for you. Jaspers always get what we want.” What Crack the Whip does here is still maintains the catalyst for Amethyst’s self-worth arc, but normalises Stevonnie’s power level relative to Pearl and Garnet - instead, Amethyst sees that Stevonnie, Garnet and Pearl don’t need her at all. Steven vs Amethyst (19): This proceeds much the same, but Pearl and Garnet arrive earlier and break up the fight, having picked up on Steven and Amethyst’s feelings. Since the fight is destructive and doesn’t actually accomplish much, it’s better for it to give way to a conversation that actually helps progress both Amethyst and Steven’s self-worth arcs. We cut to the ‘I’m not Rose Quartz’ pretty fast here too, since most of the focus is on Amethyst. P: “Amethyst, I had no idea you were feeling this way. I’m sorry we haven’t been there for you.” A: “Rose said there was nothing wrong with me, but there is. I can’t beat Jasper.” G:  “You aren’t supposed to be like Jasper, Amethyst. You’re supposed to be you. You have your own strengths and weaknesses that are different to Jasper’s. If you try to fight like her, you’ll never win, because her fighting style utilises her strengths rather than yours.” A: “My strengths?” P:  “You’re smaller and faster than her. Your whip lets you use terrain to your advantage rather than hers. Here, let me show you.” Pearl smiles and begins to demonstrate technique to Amethyst, who actually looks enthusiastic about training for once.

Bismuth (20/21): Most of Bismuth proceeds as normal, but it’s still oddly standalone compared to the on-going Jasper arc - it does need some of this, but Jasper is mentioned as part of the conversations early on about Homeworld still being after the CG’s, and when Bismuth gives the gems their weapon upgrades and trains them. Having the Steven-Bismuth confrontation without any input from the other gems robs this episode of a lot of potential emotion, especially from Garnet and Pearl, as comrades of Rose and Bismuth who had no idea what actually happened. For that reason, Steven bubbles himself and Bismuth and transports them back to the Temple fairly early into the fight. Bismuth is stunned by the Bubble Room.

B:  “Look at this! Look at all these gems! I could have saved them Rose, but you stopped me!” Bismuth attacks, but is blocked by Garnet, because future vision is again a thing. G: “Bismuth. That isn’t Rose. It’s Steven. And we couldn’t save any of these gems – the power of the Diamonds was unsurpassable. None of these gems can even hold a stable form anymore.” B: “I could have tried! What happened to you? You used to love fighting! You were Rose’s general! Her eyes and ears! We could have taken the fight to the Diamonds – why are you such a coward now?!” Bismuth turns her anger on Garnet, attacking several times. Garnet deflects her fairly easily. G: “I’ve spent five thousand years clearing up the wreckage of the Rebellion. I’ve spent five thousand years having to put my comrades in bubbles, wondering if we’d ever find them all, trying to be strong for Amethyst and Pearl and Rose and now Steven. I don’t want to fight anymore, Bismuth! I want to rest! I want to enjoy the freedom we have, because I don’t know when it’s going to be taken away.” B: “I thought you were my friend, Garnet. Why are you turning your back on the Rebellion, on the Crystal Gems – on me?” G: “Because sometimes, I have to put myself – first!” Garnet punches Bismuth into the wall. Amethyst and Pearl run in due to the sounds of combat. B: “Pearl, you have to talk some sense into Garnet. She can’t give up on the Rebellion - the Diamonds are out there, we can do something.” P: “Bismuth... We can’t. We have no way of getting to Homeworld, and even if we did - we lost. The Diamonds won, even after we...” Pearl trails off as Bismuth roars in anger, brandishing the Breaking Point at Garnet - until it is caught by Amethyst’s whip and thrown into the room’s lava pool. Bismuth ends up impaled on Rose’s sword, having run into it in her attempt to attack Garnet. Bismuth chuckles and begins to cry. B: “You’re all just the same. Rose bubbled me and hid me away when I could have saved everyone - and none of you even care!” G: “Bismuth... I’m sorry, but it’s too late now. There was nothing we could do. And there’s nothing we can do now. S: “Bismuth, I wish this hadn’t happened to you.” B: “Thanks, Steven.” Bismuth smiles weakly, and then poofs.

This is the first long rewrite, really, and I hope it shows. I tried to add some more character to Garnet and explain who she is and who she’s become since the Rebellion, while actually having all the gems present to add to the emotional impact of them all discovering this about Bismuth at once. Amethyst’s role in combat hopefully helps show her growing confidence in herself since the last few episodes, helping keep her arc moving. Pearl makes a hint towards Pink Diamond for the dedicated fans.

At this point, we hit the lead-up to the end of the season, and I tear it all to pieces. Beta and Earthlings remain, but Back to the Moon and Bubbled are moved to instead be the high-impact start to Season 4 (because wtf was Kindergarten Kid) and replaced by an entirely new two-parter that is an actual season finale that caps off the Jasper arc in a more climactic way - Armies and Unbubbled.

Beta (22): This tries to unpack some more of the events of Bismuth from Steven and Amethyst’s perspectives. The last few minutes (everything after they arrive at the Beta Kindergarten) is moved into Earthlings, allowing time for more focus on the Barn - and more development.

A: “I don’t know. I’m gonna miss Bismuth. She didn’t mind that I was short.” S: “I don’t mind that you’re short.” J: “Yeah, but Jasper does. I won’t feel okay until I beat Jasper. It’s like I have to prove myself.” Steven and Amethyst arrive at the Barn to find Lapis (aided by water constructs) in a high-stakes duel with Peridot (in her robot). A: “Hey, they’re fighting too!” S: “Oh no...” Despite the fight, Lapis and Peridot look to be enjoying themselves. They both stop when they see their guests. L: “Steven!” P: “Amethyst!” A: “Wow, you two must hate each other. That was intense.” Amethyst gushes. L: “Uh... No. We were just letting off steam.” P: “Amethyst, come look at what I’ve done to my robot. I even integrated Steven’s ‘Tablet’ into the data-processing system!” A: “Uh, okay, P-Dot..” S: “So, you and Peridot seem to be getting along well...” L: “Uh, yeah... Today.” S: “Is something wrong? Do you need more space?” L: “No, no. Nothing’s wrong with Peridot.” Lapis sighs. “Sometimes I have a good day and sometimes I have a bad day. Watching Camp Pining Hearts helps. Let me show you the TV!” Lapis flies Steven up to the truck, only for Peridot to climb up and grab Steven. P: “It’s my turn with Steven, Lazuli! I want to show him my Meepmorps. You can have Amethyst.” L: “Uh.” A: “’Sup.” Peridot takes Steven into the main room of the barn, where most of her one-gem metal band is attached to the wall. P: “I’ve been practising my metal powers. My robot works so much better now - it’s like having the manoeuvrability of my limb enhancers back! Well, almost. Those were leagues ahead of it. But sometimes it feels closer, which is nice. Anyway, let me demonstrate!” Peridot pulls all the instruments down at once. S: “Wow, that’s really powerful.” P: “Thanks!” L: “I’m not sure that’s how these things work, Peridot.” Lapis picks up a tambourine and shakes it. A: “Look, this is some great trash and all, but I want to get back to training. Jasper could re-appear any day now!” Lapis freezes. P: “Uh, Amethyst, Lapis doesn’t really like it when you mention-” L: “No, it’s fine Peridot. Today... Is a good day.” Lapis gives a forced smile. S: “Sorry, Lapis. It’s just, Jasper keeps giving us trouble. When she spoke to you on the ship, it was just the start.” L: “I’m sorry, Steven. Jasper would never have caused you trouble if it wasn’t for me. I’ve been so selfish.” Amethyst wanders over to Lapis. A: “Hey, what matters is you’re here and you’re trying to be better, like the rest of us. Sorry for bringing it up.” Lapis smiles in response - a small smile, but genuine. S: “We should get back. We still don’t know where Jasper is or what she’s planning - we don’t even know any of her weaknesses.” P: “Well, if you wanted to learn about Jasper why didn’t you ask? Her Kindergarten’s just a warp away, and I’m a certified Kindergartener!” From here, the episode proceeds as normal and ends as Peridot, Steven and Amethyst arrive at the Beta Kindergarten.

What this episode tries to do is tie the Bismuth subplot into Amethyst and Steven’s perception of themselves and Jasper. Also, it adds some much-needed Lapis development instead of just meepmorps - it shows she’s adjusting to Earth, and she and Peridot do get along, but it’s not a constant uphill journey. Also, Lapis and Amethyst have a conversation!

Earthlings (23): The part of Beta set in the Kindergarten takes place here. Because of the training and the progress over the arc, Amethyst lasts longer against Jasper than she did in Crack the Whip. To better reflect Jasper’s power level, Smoky fuses but only manages to draw even with Jasper.

SQ: “Why won’t you leave us alone?” J: “Leave you alone? After everything you did to me? To my planet? To my diamond? I’ve been fighting since I broke out of the Earth’s crust and because of Rose Quartz, no one’s ever thought I was good enough! I’ll prove I’m good enough. I’ll bring you all back to Homeworld myself and go down in history, just as soon as my escort gets here. I’ve had enough of these skirmishes, Rose. It’s time for me to end this.” Jasper does a spin dash and materialises behind Smoky, using the same techniques as Rose Quartz in The Answer to defuse Smoky. As Jasper advances on Amethyst and Steven, Peridot uses her metal powers to pull down the injector, separating them. Realising that they can’t beat her, the three Crystal Gems retreat. J: “You’re on borrowed time, Rose! My army is almost ready!”

This ties in some of Jasper’s discussion from the episode, but also adds in more of her motivations. The Amethyst arc is mostly satisfied by the fact that Amethyst performs better relative to Smoky, while Peridot’s metal powers are more developed and less of a joke (Peridot makes enough jokes). There’s a hint towards the Rubies, as Jasper doesn’t know about Hit the Diamond. Instead of ending the Jasper arc here, this builds up her and her army of monsters as more of a threat, leading into...

Armies (24):

Peridot, Amethyst and Steven arrive back at the Temple to find Connie and Pearl about to go for training.

S: “Pearl!” Pl: “Ah, Steven, you’re just in time! We’re going to be working on team attacks today-” Pd: “There’s no time for that! Jasper’s going to attack with her Beta Kindergarten monster army!” Pl: “Jasper - monster army - beta kin - GARNET!” Pearl splutters. Garnet walks inside, already aware.  G: “We don’t have much time. Going to the Beta Kindergarten means that Jasper knows we’ll attack her if she waits. Her plans have been set in motion. Peridot, I need you to fetch Lapis and your robot. Pearl, Amethyst, I need you to go and make defences. We need to keep the monsters on the beach.”

Everyone agrees without complaint. Peridot warps out, while Pearl begins creating barricades from sand and Amethyst from trash.

C: “Garnet, is she really going to attack?” G: “She has no other option now. If she waits, we’ll attack her only safe location. And Jasper has no other reason for collecting these monsters than to attack us. But she can’t control more than a few monsters for very long. They’re going to run rampant, and if they get past the beach-” C: “Beach City!” G: “Exactly. Connie, I need you and Lion to go into the city. Make sure everyone stays inside. You’re a Crystal Gem now. Are you ready to help?” C: “I won’t let you down.” Garnet hugs Connie.  G: “I know. Remember to call if you’re in trouble.” Connie climbs aboard Lion and leaves. Lapis warps into the temple.

L: “Steven, what’s going on?” S: “Lapis, we need your help. Jasper’s going to attack us.” L: “Steven, I don’t even want to think about Jasper, let alone fight her.” S: “I know. But she’s not going to go away. She’s always going to be here and she’s going to keep coming after us until we do something. We have to put up a fight if we want to be free. We can’t change the past, but - maybe we can be happy, in the future. We need you, Lapis.” Lapis looks conflicted. L: “Fine. But first I want an apology.” Lapis looks at Garnet. “You kept me imprisoned - in a Pearl’s head! - for years. You still haven’t even spoken to me since you tried to take me away from Steven!” G: “I... I was scared.” Garnet removes her visor. “I was scared of what letting you out would mean for us, for Steven, for me. We had no idea what you would do. But it doesn’t excuse what we did. I’m sorry, Lapis. We all are.” L: “Thank you.”

Pearl and Amethyst run in. Pl: “Garnet, the ocean!” A: “She’s coming!” Everyone runs outside. The beach looks markedly different, with most of it blocked off by walls of sand (and trash). Peridot stands, robot-ready, as Jasper emerges from the ocean, alone. J: “This is it, Rose. Your army versus mine.” A: “What army? You’re outnumbered.” J: “You know, runt, you’re right.” Jasper slowly approaches the group. “I realised when we fought on the beach that I couldn’t get enough of these gems to beat you. But then I realised where I could find a lot of them.” G: “No!”

Jasper spin-dashes up the wall and bounces off, soaring past the others and straight into the Temple. G: “She’s going after the bubbled gems!” Pl: “The monsters! They’re here!” G: “Pearl, you’re in charge - take care of these monsters! Steven, with me!”

As the other gems take battle positions, Steven and Garnet run back into the house. Jasper has smashed straight through the screen door and into the Burning Room. As Garnet and Steven arrive, Jasper pops the first bubble. J: “Oops.”

The episode ends here. What Armies tries to do is actually ramp up the tension of the Jasper arc, rather than ending it and shoving in two unrelated episodes to be the finale. Instead of the tension being a Homeworld invasion, Jasper’s army is actually being a threat - not just to the CGs but to Beach City, adding tension because we’re worried about the human population too. Plus, with Jasper breaking into the Bubble Room, it risks undoing most of the progress the Crystal Gems have made in clearing up the monster population, adding new stakes and making the old monster subplot relevant as well.

Unbubbled (25/26): The episode opens in the Burning Room, where we left off. Jasper dashes from bubble to bubble, popping them all, while Steven and Garnet are overrun by the swarms of newly-freed monsters. 

We cut to the outside of the Temple. Opal is firing arrows from the Lighthouse and yelling commands at Lapis and Peridot, who are holding the line against the monsters coming from the ocean. Connie, on Lion, is chasing monsters up and down the Boardwalk. Lars and Sadie are barricaded in the Big Donut, trying to prevent a gem mutant from knocking the door down. We return to the temple’s entrance to see almost every monster from past episodes swarming out (Centipeetle is absent, of course). Jasper follows.

J: “Here’s my army, Rose! So kind of you to keep it in one place for me.” Lapis turns and throws a tidal wave at Jasper, but she weathers it and runs off. Back in the Burning Room, Steven and Garnet are alone, holding the final unpopped bubble - Bismuth’s. S: “Are you sure we can trust her?” G: “Yes. There’s too much at stake - Beach City is in danger. Bismuth always protected the weak.” Steven pops the bubble, and Bismuth reforms. She looks around. B: “What - Garnet, Steven - Where are the bubbles?” Garnet hands Bismuth an axe. G: “There’s no time. We’re under attack and we need your help.” Bismuth looks from Steven to Garnet and nods. B: “Lead the way.”

The three emerge onto the beach, where Lapis, Peridot and Opal have rounded up most of the ocean monsters - but the temple monsters have spread out across town. Together, they groups move to the Boardwalk, rendezvousing with Connie and Lion and freeing the Pizza and Fryman families. Opal defuses and Pearl runs to hug Connie.

P: “You’ve done so well, Connie! I couldn’t have asked for more.” C: “Aw, shukriyaa.” B: “I’ve never seen a human fight with a sword so well. It’s like Rose’s sword was made for you.” Bismuth is awed by Connie. This is followed by a quick montage of the gang freeing Lars and Sadie, Mr Smiley, and other townies who you all know and love. 

Eventually, we arrive at the water tower. Jasper, along with her army, is attacking it, trying to cause it to fall. A: “Hey!” Pl: “The humans need that tower for their sustenance! Unhand it!” Jasper turns to look at them. She is angrier than earlier, and her cool facade seems to be slipping. J: “I’m going to destroy this settlement like you ruined my colony, Rose. Like you destroyed my Kindergarten!”

Jasper charges at Steven, and he forms his shield, resisting her. The monsters set upon the other gems, distracting them, until Connie whistles loudly. Lion roars, and following him come the charging townies, roaring and armed with various brooms and pitchforks. The Cool Kids are in the front. With the townie backup, the monsters are now outnumbered, and the Gems are able to turn their focus back to Jasper.

Jasper summons her helmet and charges at Steven, but he knocks her back with his shield into Peridot’s robot. She fires rockets, throwing Jasper back into Amethyst, who entangles her with her whip and tosses her to Pearl, who fires a lazer from her spear, stunning Jasper and causing her to spin-dash wildly, only to be thrown by Garnet into Bismuth, who headbutts her, setting her on course with Lapis, who forms an ice ramp which throws Jasper into the air until she lands in front of Connie, who pokes her with the butt of Rose’s sword.

It is quite clear that Jasper is beaten, but she struggles to her feet anyway. S: “Why can’t you accept that I’m not Rose? Why won’t you leave us alone?” J: “Me? You started this - you rebelled and lied to gems, told them they could be whatever they wanted! I’m the best of the best and I’m a laughing stock on Homeworld because of you! Everyone thinks I’m defective too. I’ll show them - I’ll show them your gem shards!” Jasper dashes at Steven, but he leaps over with his floating powers. S: “I’m sorry for what happened to you Jasper, but what the Diamonds are doing is wrong! Turning this place into a colony would have killed everything on this planet! Humans deserve to choose - gems deserve to choose - but the diamonds shatter anyone who disagrees!” “You - hypocrite! How dare you say that after you shattered your diamond - my diamond - Pink Diamond!”

Everything seems to slow down. Steven stops. Pearl and Garnet both look horrified. S: “Rose - she - Mom wouldn’t do that, right? Pearl? Garnet? Why won’t you look at me? She didn’t shatter her, right?!” B: “Rose shattered Pink Diamond... and we still lost? The Diamonds are that powerful?”

Jasper looks confused as everyone else. J: “You... You aren’t Rose... She never told you?” Jasper falls to the floor, her form beginning to corrupt as the truth sinks in. J: “It’s too late.. I’m not going to go back... With her shards... They were right... I’m... a failure. Worthless. Everything on this planet is worthless.” A: “It doesn’t have to be that way, Jasper. You don’t have to listen to them. I’m happy here. I’m not a perfect quartz, but there’s still good things here. You can be happy too, you can-” J: “LIAR!” Jasper slashes at Amethyst, but misses. She begins to laugh. J: “I see how Rose did it now... She waited until you had nothing left... Because when you feel worthless, you’ll accept anyone... who makes you feel like less of a failure.” Jasper corrupts fully, and roars at the Gems. As the perfect quartz, she is much larger than the other corrupted quartzes - but she is nevertheless crushed as the water tower falls on her. She poofs. A: “C’mere, sis.” Amethyst bubbles Jasper.

Steven turns to face Pearl and Garnet. The townspeople are in the back, jubilant. Mayor Dewey’s van is on fire and he is desperately trying to throw water from the water tower onto it. The fire lends some epic lighting. S: “What else about my mom haven’t you told me?”

The episode ends on this. Hopefully, this episode adds enough tension to the battle - Beach City is actually at stake, rather than the Gems themselves - and it hopefully adds a lot to Jasper’s character. The Pink Diamond reveal is not split into two episodes but is kept here, in order to add more impact for Steven and to fully illustrate Jasper’s motivation as the gem who brought this army to avenge her Diamond - and failed, because the foe she sought was never there in teh first place, adding more reason for her corruption to happen naturally (no weird forced fusiion thanks).

Hopefully, this episode also adds development to Bismuth’s conceptualisation of the Diamonds and her desire to overthrow them. Garnet gets to show off some leadership, there’s a nice group fight scene which shows how the Crystal Gems have grown, and the role of the Townies helps make them relevant and show the growing ties between Gems and Humans. This also leaves S4 to develop the new ties between Lapis/Peridot and Beach city further, develop Bismuth now that she’s not in a bubble forever, and provides some of the impetus for Steven to hopefully stop imitating his mother and be his own gem-human. Also, Connie says something in Hindi to Pearl, who she’s starting to see as more of a mother figure (it’s intended to be an informal thanks - if there’s something better I can put in, let me know, but this is just something I found from 2 minutes of googling - because it’s that easy).

One thing I’ve thought that would be interesting for Season 4 would be to see some format changes - and this episode would feature the first, as we leave Steven’s perspective at the start of the episode, for a more epic feel. It’d be interesting if we saw the Crystal Gems split up because of these revelations after the Rubies 2-parter - Pearl/Garnet at the Temple, Connie and Steven travelling and training with Bismuth and Greg, and Amethyst staying with Peridot and Lapis at the Barn. The PD revelations were big, and I really feel like they should have had more of an immediate impact on the plot. S4′s filler could have easily been based around Steven sleeping over at every family’s house in Beach city since he wants time away from Garnet and Pearl. But that’s a story for another post I suppose...

Please give feedback - this became way longer than I expected but it’s really helped me express what I found narratively dissatisfying about how Season 3 was handled. Hopefully this was a good read and inspires some other people :)

[cerastes]

yo can you tell some more stories about fionn mccool? i know the one where he gets cucked and the one where he dresses up as a baby but there's no way that's all

why, YES, I am always up to share more about my favorite Irish mythos character and professional baby, Fionn mac Cumhaill. Ok, SO, Fionn Gets Cucked and Fionn Avoids A Fight By Dressing As A Baby are two of Fionn’s adventures, but he’s got a lot more! Also, those two happen quite late in the Fenian Cycle, when Fionn is already the leader of the Fianna Knights. There’s actually a lot of stories about Fionn, since, much like our good friend Cu Chulainn is the central hero of the Ulster Cycle, Fionn is the central hero of the Fenian Cycle. Today, I want to share with you some of the stories detailing the origins of Fionn, and how he becomes a professional baby, but also, so you all know that, despite my friendly mockery of him, the dude is a bona fide badass (and as I’ve said before, my favorite Irish mythos duder). Also, you’ll see some parallels between Fionn and Cu, but more of that later! So sit tight, get some cookies, and lets get WILD.

OUR STORY BEGINS with the Fianna Knights, commanded by one man named Cumhaill, which is literally pronounced “Cool”, so you KNOW we are in for a good ass tale when the first dude we meet is literally named Cool. Coolio had the hots for this druidess named Muirne Munchaem, daughter of a kickass High Druid, Tagd mac Nuadat, because she was really beautiful and a cool druid and, well, he probably had a thing for necks because Muirne Munchaem literally means “beautiful neck”, which is what she was known for, her beautiful neck, which is what mythos is known for, for being as subtle as a club to the balls with its names and foreshadowing. Speaking of getting hit in the balls with a cudgel, that is EXACTLY what happened to Cumhaill when he asked for Muirne’s hand in marriage. HOWEVER, when you are the leader of the Fianna and your name is fuckin’ COOL, one or six club strikes to the groin isn’t enough to dissuade you. So did Cool insist with tenacious fervor and, aided with the power of True Love, eventually changed Tagd’s mind? Nah, fuck that noise, my dude just snuck into Tagd’s castle during the night and stole Muirne away, who apparently was pretty ok with this. Druid Wife GET.

Now, why was Tagd so opposed to this marriage? See, Tagd used his Magic 8-Ball one day and asked it “Hey 8-Ball, what would happen if my daughter Muirne got married?”, and the 8-Ball, ever so wise, replied in its usual white letters with a blue triangle background: “YOU WILL LITERALLY LOSE EVERYTHING YOU OWN”. Oh ok, well, see, I can kinda understand why Tagd answered requests for marriage with a literal club to the testicles now. Problem is, Coolio had indeed already stolen his very willing daughter, so, fuck, damn, step 1 failed. Tagd pitched the mother of all tantrums and went to the High King, Conn Cétchathach, which literally means “Conn of the Hundred Battles”, holy FUCK that is a cool ass name, and tattled on Coolio. Conn said “that’s not very cash money of you, Cumhaill”, and put a price on his head. Thus begins the Hunt For Cool.

What’s not cool is that Cool eventually gets hunted down and killed by a FILTHY TRAITOR named Goll mac Morna, a Fianna Knight who saw this opportunity, with Cool having been outlawed, to kill him and take control of the Fianna, which he did, but the problem is, Muirne had already been left pregnant, so she went back to her dad, but dad was vewy vewy angwy, so he ordered for her to burned at the stake. So she was like nah son and druidly ran away, hid in the forest, and went to her sister, Bodhmall the Druidess, and asked for a solid, if she could raise his kid so they wouldn’t kill him while she goes and hides. Aunt Bodhmall was like sure thing man I love kids, so the kid was born and she named him Demne. Bodhmall lived with her husband Fiacal and her BFF and companion, the warrior woman Liath Luachra, Bodhmall and Liath grab the little Demne and go live in the forest, in seclusion from society, to train him and raise him, just like in the animes.

Now, there’s something YOU, the reader, needs to know about Irish mythos to understand this wholly. This is what the modern reader thinks a druid looks like:

This is what a druid actually was:

Honestly, these dudes and dudettes were the concept of decimating ass given human bodies so they could find asses to decimate. You did NOT fuck with druids. They were warriors through and through, and some of the FINEST. So Demne here was being raised by his two mommies, both of which were IMPECCABLE ANUS ANNIHILATORS, being trained in the art of Rectal Ruination, and when Demne was old enough, the three of them, like any loving family did, went on adventures togethers, to punch magical shit and suplex brigands. Demne was a very strong child, but there was something odd about him: His hair whitened prematurely. So here you had this anime ass kid with white hair kicking ass with his two POWERMOMS and kicking so much toosh under their tutelage that he earned a nickname, like all prominent warriors did back then.

His nickname was Fionn, which literally means “white”, “pale”, and “bright”, because of his white hair which flowed beautifully in the field of battle. Discarding his childhood name “Demne”, Fionn, son of Cumhaill, or Fionn mac Cumhaill, was born!

Fionn mac Cumhaill, trained by two Powermoms and aided by his heritage of asskickery from a father literally named Cool, surely had a colorful future in front of him… And that was the problem. Fionn was becoming too famous. Becoming famed is kind of a POOR CHOICE when you are actually trying to hide from people that are trying to kill you, and hey, speaking of which, HERE THEY COME.

So here’s Fionn, right, kicking ass left and right, but due to all this asswhooping, his name started spreading and people started to wonder, hey, maybe this Fionn guy is the son of that Cool Dude that we were ordered to kill, we should go and check this out so we can get the rest of the reward money! Fionn’s powermoms notice that people are starting to swarm the area, looking for him, and realize that their combined kickassery is playing against them. “FIONN”, bellowed Powermom Bodhmall, “THOU ART A GROWN ASS MAN, PACK YO SHIT AND LEAVE”. Powermom Duo had already taught everything they knew to young Fionn, so he left to find his own way, as his moms ordered him, and thus took to wandering. Some time passes and Fionn realizes “MAN I CAN SURE KICK A THOUSANDS ASSES BUT I AM DUMB AS FUCK”, and he was pretty insecure about this because, while far from being dumb, Fionn understood that being raised in a forest away from society by two warriors wasn’t exactly a normal upbringing, and since he did want to take back the Fianna Knights that his father had led, he needed BRAINS for that shit, because you can’t lead men with just MUSCLE and HUSTLE. So Fionn becomes the disciple of the poet Finn Eces. Some people say his name is Finegas, but those people are HISTORIANS and so they don’t matter. So Finn Eces teaches Fionn cool shit unrelated to decimating people in combat, and Fionn actually likes it, it’s like, wow, I know exactly 500 different ways to kill a man with his own spine, but I didn’t know the name of this cool ass flower yesterday! I love this purple flower. 

Finn Eces was on his own quest, by the way, because if you had a name in Celtic/Old Irish mythos, you had some big ass fuckquest to accomplish, whether it be a personal big ass fuckquest or a more important big ass fuckquest. My dude’s quest was that he really coveted Fintan mac Bochra, better known as the Salmon of Knowledge, said to grant whoever ate it with all the knowledge in the world. He had spent seven years looking for the little bastard, and one day, he actually caught the salmon. Overjoyed, the old Finn Eces hands the Salmon to Fionn and tells him to cook it and to NOT EAT IT. “Aye aye cap’n” says Young Pale and off he goes to cook the hell out of this fish for Sensei. While he is cooking it, Fionn uses his thumb to touch the fish and check how well done it is. This is where shit gets Mythological: The salmon’s body fat was dripping (because it was being cooked), and the salmon got very hot, so when Fionn used his thumb to check it, he ended up touching some of the salmon’s dripping fat. The THING IS, all of the salmon’s wisdom had been concentrated in that one drop of fish fat, and ALSO, again, the fish got VERY HOT, so Fionn burned his idiot thumb and immediately, by reflex, sucked on it, thus, ingesting the fish fat that contained all of the wisdom, THUS, acquiring all of the wisdom. MYTHOS.

Fionn finished cooking the fish and brought it to his master, but Finn-Sensei told him to STOP RIGHT THERE and to look him straight in the eyes. Finn Eces noticed that Fionn’s eyes weren’t those of an idiot child anymore, but rather, they were bright and enlightened, endowed with wisdom he never had seen before. “FIONN”, yelled Sensei, “DID YOU EAT THE FISH”. 

“NO, LOOK, IT’S WHOLE” explained Fionn, “It’s just, I burned my finger and sucked on it”. Apparently, Finn Eces was both a very smart man and a kind one too, because he immediately understood that the Salmon had given Fionn his wisdom, and he didn’t really mind. He was like, cool, grats dude, you were Chosen By The Fish, so you can eat the fish. Fionn itadakimasu’d and ate the whole salmon, thus acquiring all of the Salmon’s knowledge (the fat of the fish contained its WISDOM, the meat contains the KNOWLEDGE). Having consumed the whole thing, Fionn became Super Mega Fionn, and thus acquired his super power: ALL of the world’s knowledge and wisdom. Well, to be more specific, he has ACCESS to all of it. It’s like when they installed “how to not suck at flying helicopters” into Neo and Trinity’s brains in The Matrix. Fionn pretty much had access to the Akashic Records on demand, and could retrieve any knowledge and wisdom he wanted. How did he do this? By sucking on his thumb, where he first burned himself and sucked the fish fat.

This is why I call him a professional baby, not just because my dude literally dressed as one that one time. Fionn’s superpower is literally to know everything and anything he needs, as long as he sucks his thumb like the idiot baby he is. I love Fionn so much.