#been considering that therapy lately ngl

[sonofanactuallyveryniceperson]

everyone I went to high school with are graduating university. sigh

[not-joan-of-arc]

heaven official's blessing (pt. 2)

(finished reading on April 1 2022)

my unedited annotations for books four and five (SPOILERS AHEAD):

BOOK FOUR

been too busy to read for the past few days but I'm super excited to dive back into this - that being said, I'm still scared of this book ending

and so we return to the past!!

okay so Xie Lian's already been banished? ngl I was kind of hoping to see the actual banishment because I'm still confused as to why exactly he was banished??

also it's weird because the Xie Lian of the past is vastly different from present him but you can also very clearly see how he became the way he is today

ah yes now we know exactly where Xie Lian's poison-cooking-specialty originates from lol

okay Mu Qing is being kind of a dick in leaving Xie Lian but also he's got a valid point, and I kinda sympathise with him?

oh fuck me it's Hua Cheng?? I knew he would be in this book somehow!!

“I want to protect them.” - no but this is his unfulfilled wish that ties him to the mortal realm?? like he just wants to protect Xie Lian, that's so pure and wow I'm actually going to start crying now

I hope one day to find someone who loves me as much as Hua Cheng loves Xie Lian, even if its just in a platonic way

‘“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said.

The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.”’

no but this whole scene with Xie Lian and little ghost Hua Cheng is like the foundation of their current relationship - Hua Cheng protecting Xie Lian without ever speaking a word to him of it, suffering to keep his heart to himself

so Hua Cheng died in the war, that makes sense

wait what?? Xie Lian actually cooked something edible?? maybe his cooking skills are a plot device after all

oh so this is when Feng Xin gets all wifed up

no but you really feel the second-hand embarassment when Xie Lian is caught trying to rob someone, like he's really fallen from that gracious and honorable Crown Prince of the past

yo someone help this boy, he is literally having multiple panic attacks and has very severe PTSD and also probably depression, like boy needs some therapy stat

but tbf, that's all characters in every mxtx adaptation rip

okay but ghost fire Hua Cheng is genuinely adorable

oh so these are the thirty-three heavenly officials Hua Cheng becomes famous for killing - of course his reason for doing so was Xie Lian! I should have realised that sooner considering everything Hua Cheng does is for Xie Lian

“But, this hand had reached out too late.”

I think White No-Face's obsession with Xie Lian is because he is the Crown Prince of Wuyong who suffered a terrible fate and he wants Xie Lian to suffer likewise and join him so he won't be alone anymore

the one instance where Feng Xin and Mu Qing are actually getting along and it's Xie Lian who drives them apart, how ironic - I keep trying to make myself like Mu Qing and like, I understand why he does what he does but I still don't like him - Feng Xin though is my boi

I'm beginning to understand why book four is the most tragic and hardest-to-read section in the whole book

no but it makes sense?? killing makes you immune to the human face disease

oh fuck no I think I know what's about to happen

Xie Lian...what are they doing to you

fuck me but he is without a doubt the character with the most tragic backstory ever to exist

SOMEBODY FUCKING SAVE HIM

how painful this must be for Hua Cheng too seeing the love of his life bear so much pain and be unable to do anything about it

Xie Lian you need to tell Feng Xin what happened to you or you're going to lose him too

“It’s not like I’m a god, can’t I be angry? Can’t I hate?”

I understand why Feng Xin leaves but also fuck you Feng Xin! can't you see how much torment your best friend is in? can't you see that he's too broken to be left alone

wait the King and Queen have actually hanged themselves?

no okay this is too fucking much don't y'all leave Xie Lian alone like this, he doesn't deserve to be tormented like thus, he doesn't deserve any of this

Ruoye!! and now I understand what Xie Lian meant when he talked about forging his spiritual device with Pei Ming - I knew it would be tragic but never this tragic

he's on the verge of becoming the white-faced calamity isn't he?

Hua Cheng to the rescue!! and now I understand all the fan art of Hua Cheng in a smiling face mask

or maybe not Hua Cheng to the rescue? curiouser and curiouser

Xie Lian has definitely got something up his sleeve as always but it still hurts to watch him be so broken and in pain

and now we have the story behind the bamboo hat

Hua Cheng!!

ahh why do they both go through so much pain?? and because they're soulmates they feel each other's pain too - my heart -

I read a post that said all that happens to Xie Lian makes him “desensitised” to everything and that's exactly what it is - he bears so much pain and suffering and humiliation in such a short span of time that eight hundred years later present day Xie Lian just does not give a fuck about anything anymore, like he's reached the lowest it is posible to ever go and can go no lower and like my heart is in pieces for him but at the same time he's such a fucking icon

the truth behind his second banishment

and thus we have present day Xie Lian in all his adorableness, except now we know his full story

the only big mystery left now is his third ascension I think

now onto book five as we return to Mount Tongl'u

BOOK FIVE

I don't this even needs to be said but I loathe White No-Face with every inch of my being okay

no but its actually hilarious that Hua Cheng carved a inhumanly big statue of Xie Lian out of a literal mountain, like my man is whipped

the real question is why is Hua Cheng a ghost king and not a world-famous artist and sculptor?? like he should have his own museum and not be running the ghost version of las vegas lol

it's also hilarious how though all the gods supposedly find Xie Lian strange they're all still willing to do whatever he says, like Quan Yizhen and even Pei Ming

haha I knew Pei Ming totally ships it

its only been like a few hours since Hua Cheng and Xie Lian properly kissed with no pretensions (and they haven't even properly confessed their love yet - though they don't really need to to be honest lol) but I'm absolutely living for these casual displays of love, like Hua Cheng giving Xie Lian a forehead kiss makes me feel so warm and happy

I was wondering when Shi Quingxan would show up again - ngl, was not expecting this reunion though

absolutely love the fact that Xie Lian can quite easily kiss Hua Cheng in front of everyone when it's a high-stakes situation but gets flustered by kissing his cheek when they're completely alone, Xie Lian is just too adorable

Jun Wu is White No-Face?? what the fuck....

I thought Jun Wu was kind of sus but not to this extent

no I don't want Yin Yu to die, he's genuinely one of my faves and deserves so much better than he got

yasss we stan Lord Rain Master!!

hmm I wonder if Mu Qing's interrogation has anything to do with what Hua Cheng heard him and Feng Xin arguing about on Mount Tongl'u

I mean Hua Cheng isn't wrong, the two of them really have zero self-preservation instincts lol

yes finally, we're going to get the full story!

so Jun Wu/White No-Face has basically been manipulating everything from the very beginning? damn - and I thought Mengyao in mdzs was a psychopath, this is just on a whole other level

Guoshi ships it!! he's definitely confused about where all the gay came from though lol

I'm screaming Guoshi is definitely trying (and failing) to give Xie Lian some sex ed

this whole battle seems like some sort of crack dream

okay but Guoshi is actually the best

Guoshi referring to Quan Yizhen as a ‘fluffy child’ is the peak of hilarity

not Guzi!

this Hua Cheng is He Xuan isn't it

not gonna lie, I kinda ship General Pei and the Rain Master

Hua Cheng already imagining having a child with Xie Lian - I can't, that's too adorable

final battle approaches

Hua Cheng wanting to make a good impression on his boyf's ‘dad’

come on Xie Lian, you're so good at sussing out every other gods mysteries but you can't even figure out all Hua Cheng has done for you? you're so fucking obtuse at times

Hua Cheng thinking that Xie Lian was going to stab himself again - my heart - and then being reminded of when Xie Lian was stabbed by a hundred swords but Xie Lian just laughing it off - ahhh why did they have to go through so much pain

I think Feng Xin is slowly coming to the understand the depth of trust and love and mutual respect that is Hua Cheng and Xie Lian's relationship - he's definitely not against it now at the very least

also glad we're finally getting some character growth from Mu Qing, after 800 years

so this is the truth of Mu Qing and honestly, I can't really say I dislike him so much anymore, like I understand where he's coming from

he's still a dumbass for not realising that Xie Lian genuinely did want to be friends all this time though, but then again, if I met someone as good as Xie Lian I would be a little skeptical too lol

this whole scene is low-key hilarious, they're both dumbasses

scratch that, all three of them - Xie Lian, Mu Qing and Feng Xin - they're all dumbasses

‘Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??”’- I'm crying

okay now I'm starting to understand where all the shipping of Feng Xin and Mu Qing comes from, this whole bit with Feng Xin carrying Mu Qing and them bickering is kind of adorable

Mu Qing and Feng Xin definitely give the vibe of Xie Lian's brothers who don't really approve of Xie Lian's boyf in the first place but still don't want him to be harmed for the sake of Xie Lian - I actually love their friendship okay, however much history they have between them all

and now we get the rest of Hua Cheng's story!! I'm so ready for this

no fucking way - so Hua Cheng could have been a god??

he definitely chose the ghost life for the aesthetic lol

I love the trope when couples fight together as a team, like all the wordless communication and synchronisation

‘Because he wasn’t as good as Hua Cheng thought him to be.’

that's the thing though, Hua Cheng has seen every bit of Xie Lian and knows that he's imperfect, he understands him and sees him for who he is - Xie Lian, don't you understand? Hua Cheng cares about none of it, all he cares about is you, its all he's ever cared about

‘“Your Highness, don’t be afraid. Remember? The one basking in infinite glory is you; the one fallen from grace is also you. What matters is ‘you’, and not the state of you. No matter what’s happened in the past, I will never leave you. You can tell me anything.”’

nooo not ruoye!! :(

‘He couldn’t help but wonder—perhaps, to be defeated by someone, to end these relentless days of brokeness and madness, was possibly Jun Wu’s wish deep down.’

Xie Lian you are truly one of a kind - “shattering boulders on chest” lmao

‘All of a sudden, thousands of emotions, millions of words swarmed into his head. There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.’

fucking finally!! it's taken Xie Lian way too long to realise the truth lol

‘Hua Cheng said quietly, “Your Highness, I understand your everything. Your courage, your despair; your kindness, your pain; your resentment, your hate; your intelligence, your foolishness. If I could, I would have you use me as your stepping stone, the bridge you take apart after crossing, the corpse bones you need to trample to climb up, the sinner who deserved the butchering of a million knives. But, I know you wouldn’t allow it.”

He said all this as the maple red of his robes slowly faded away.’

fuck me they better have a happy ending after all that or I'm going to scream

Jian Lan and Feng Xin deserved better, they all deserved so much better

I love how every little story arc is getting some sort of resolution as we near the end

‘Hua Cheng waited for him for over eight hundred years, so what did it matter if he waited for Hua Cheng for another eight hundred more? It could be a thousand years, ten thousand years, and he would still wait, and continue to wait.’

‘A smile hung on Xie Lian’s face, thinking, he wasn’t the only one who had fallen.’ - but I'm also bawling

‘Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.’

final chapter let's go!! but also I don't want this to end

love that they've returned to Puqi shrine it's so wholesome

I'm screaming - this definitely means Hua Cheng and Xie Lian have already slept together lol - and Feng Xin and Mu Qing are just there like ‘we really didn't need to know that’

the elusive He Xuan??

I am living for domestic HuaLian

“I am forever your most devoted believer.”

---

after finishing the book:

screaming crying laughing I can't believe its over

this was a genuine masterpiece

also reading the post-script I think MXTX is legitimately a genius like wow, I aspire to be as talented as she is

(rated 5 stars)

---

my annotation system

[spacehorrors]

tma review time

idek how many I've done at this point I think it might be seven 😭

I've been having such a time guys it has been very eye opening...... >:)

ok so I have sort of abandoned the recurring imagery thing because it was basically me going hmm there are some overarching categories these stories fit into I'll sort them in my head. and now they have been sorted.... by the podcast into the different fears lol. so I'm replacing it w/ character thoughts since everyone is a bit more developed now.

top five episodes

E129 Submerged - man. I'm still thinking of this episode like the fact the main character was already losing his home. and then the apocalyptic flood descriptions? very enjoyable.

E125 Civilian Casualties - linking what I said about the slaughter down below it just makes for such a good story with just senseless horror because it's just well. that could be you.

E124 Left Hanging - just terrifying times you know that sounds like an awful nightmare. was so scary and the image

E121 Far Away - I LOVE FATE AND DYING AND DESTRUCTION <3 it just ruled!!!

E138 Chosen One - what's there not to love in this episode agnes fascinates me!! I'm so intrigued by what made this ritual fail.....

character thoughts

daisy and basira. so I was originally a little worried there would be a blurry line between daisy has the hunt as a patron and lesbians being seen as predatory it was just like a thought at the back of my mind. but I don't think it's done that! all I think about is them atm <3 also whilst writing this I considered the possible that this line might not be clear indication that they're dating. I'm going to take it that they are though idc. I'm never over the bit when daisy was in the coffin and was like I thought I'd never see the sky again or basira like I'm weeping.

also individually I'm very happy for daisy I love to see her growth and it was rlly interesting seeing basira doing her own work but also a bit devastating that she needed someone to hold onto.

martin. he is stressing me out ok why would you do this. I know why you're doing this but also stop because how can you see that this isn't going to end well. you're stressing me out because now it's going to be too late for him to reconcile with everyone and something bad is going to happen 😭😭😭 I feel so bad for him though because I understand.

MELANIE!!! I thought the bit about her and the slaughter was interesting like the physical manifestation of her anger being trapped inside her etc etc very cleverly done. love that she is going to therapy good for her. hope we see more of her.......

jon. what is there to say about jon that I haven't already said ngl I did feel a little sorry for him when he got out a coma and everyone was different and frosty. um his powers versus his humanity is an ever stressful good conflict. love how he and daisy and basira are friends now!! his plans need to get better though stop chucking yourself in coffins.

things I'm enjoying/predictions

ngl the slaughter is one of my favourite powers the episodes are always horrifying like. it's just senseless violence! it is happening anyway! terrifying. love it.

the rituals thing is interesting I'm assuming there's going to be an eye ritual soon..... which I'm sure will go horribly etc etc.

so standing by my prediction that all the assistants will at least have a patron like ik daisy and melanie are recovering from it but they still have had one. still placing my bets on basira and the vast.

ik exactly what they're doing with jon and martin and let me tell you it is working in compelling me and driving me insane. also I miss tim :(

once again jon is grappling with his own humanity and once again I want to walk into the ocean over it. also I want to see the same from basira sooooooon.

agnes montague!! omg!!! hiii twirls my hair. I'm assuming she's very relevant because another power is trying to create their own version of an agnes montague perhaps?

where is georgie I miss her wouldn't she be so powerful against all the fears?? thinking many thoughts.

ok I think that's it!! as always send in some asks if you want etc etc!

[clown-morgue]

what’s your favorite candle scent?what flower would you like to 4. what flower would you like to be given? 5. who do you feel most you around? 6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).7. what color brings you peace? 8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 9. what calms you down? 10. what’s something you’re excited for? 11. what’s your ideal date? 12. how are you? (ily bitch)

3. what’s your favorite candle scent?

Scented candles kinda make me feel sick, just thinking about lavender scented candles makes me nauseous...

But ig like... Vanilla??? Is that even a candle scent idk

4. what flower would you like to be given?

Lilly of the valley / any kind of lily or oleander flowers

Lilly of the valley is my birth flower, it causes abdominal problems when ingested, and lilies in general are a common flower used for funerals

Oleander is also harmful if ingested and also may cause irritation to the skin

5. who do you feel most you around?

For irl friends there's this one guy who's basically my best friend and we vent to eachother abt everything so it's like mutual therapy

For online friends @synthwave-doctor and @weaselweaselweasel mostly

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

Physical:

1. my fat ass I has tiny cute hands but I would punch anyone who said so but me

2. Um... Am flexible (does that count?)

3. People say I got nice cheekbones so...

Non-Physical:

1. My art skills really do be... do be...

2. I got good taste in music, you can fight me on that idc

3. I'm a shitpost God and you all live me for it.... Don't lie

7. what color brings you peace?

Florence green... It doesn't really brin me peace but it does irritate and enrage others and that's enough (:

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good.

@synthwave-doctor (ily/p fam) @lumiicriesinthiscorner (Sksksk) @thevoidsystem (oli & tyler ily/p idk the others that much but ily/p too) @weaselweaselweasel (hehe yeah you ily/p bitch) @dragon1d (ngl love it when you call be babe /p) @rain-club-jam (pat pat child ily/p) @all my other mutuals I'm a bit scrambled egg brains rn so idk who else to tags... Yum eggies

9. what calms you down?

There's this one breathing exercise vid I use whenever I have a breakdown that helps a lot

Also wood turning videos, sims 4 speed builds, the forest, cemeteries, music, etc

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

It's a year for periodical cicadas in my area! Them babies been down in the dirt for 17-ish years... They're basically as old as me and I better see some or I'll cry

When they start coming up I'll go look for nymph shells and hen when they start dying I'll go looking for adult ones to collect (I don't like killing bugs for my collection I just wait till I find a dead one in good condition and with cicada it's that hard to just wait considering thy live as adult for a short time like just give them there time bitch wtf then collect them when they start dying... I'm getting off track)

11. what’s your ideal date?

Knife fight in the 711 parking lot at 6pm sharp, don't be late punk...

But for real take me to brunch and then buy me something shiny and I'm happy... And then we can fight in a parking lot /p

12. how are you? (ily bitch)

I'm the ruler of everything (ily bicth... Never gonna stop loving you... Bitch /p)

[maariarogers]

behind the scene

Summary: Selena confronts Suho about a few things. Feelings are considered, circumstances are reflected. Characters: Lee Suho and Lee Selena Mentions: Suho x Jugyeong Author’s Note: Follow K-Drama episode 15-ish? In an effort to fix this one particular detail akdhskdfh yes I’m not over the fact they didn’t include this in. What about it? 😤😤😤

PS: Also, in this smol au - Suho did accepted get into MIT because Selena forced him to finish his studies.

READ THIS ON AO3

.

“So, you’re dating my intern.”

“Noona,” Suho acknowledges. Lee Selena drops her wallet on the table, sits, and starts to take her earrings off. It’s a little - irritating, but fitting somehow, how she looks like she’s home, even though Suho knows she doesn’t have high opinion on the studio apartment. “No hello?”

“Hello,” Selena parrots. “You’re dating my intern.”

Suho doesn’t answer her.

Selena rolls her eyes, “That, or you’re stalking her.”

“It’s a long story,” Suho doesn’t want to talk about this. There’s just - something about looking at Selena that reminds him of the hollowness he’s been trying to keep at bay. All those time staring solemnly from Father’s hospital room out to the window, missing Jugyeong. Missing Seojun.

And how Selena would come by sometimes. How she never quite judged him, but it’s - similar. Her staring is just as heavy still.

“She was the girl you kept staring at in your phone,” Selena quips. She’s smart. She’s always been smart. Smarter than Suho, even.

Maybe she’s the one who should’ve gotten into MIT, Suho thinks quite depressingly, not really knowing where’d he put the acceptance letter. In a drawer somewhere. Blue file, right? Or was it green?

“Was she the one you left behind?”

“Was that the reason you decided to hire her as an intern?” Suho shoots back, now sitting across from her. He’s serious. And he knows she knows that he’s serious. Suho suddenly feels a wave of guilt coming back like waves to the shore - was his family’s influence directing Jugyeong’s life? Would this be called manipulation? Would this mean he has the upper-hand, again living only in the shadows of his family while they place him in their lives however they see fit?

Because he doesn’t want that. Not with Jugyeong. Never with Jugyeong.

“I thought she looked familiar,” comes the ugly confession from Selena. Fuck, Suho thinks, already feels like he could cry. He wants to chase her out, wants to have this upcoming panic attack in his own company, but Selena leans back against the chair. Her hair flops with her movement. “But no - she applied like most interns did. And I see a potential in her.”

Suho’s eyes glance up.

So, you see it, apart of him bites in relief.

“Plus, she’s a fan. She said it several times, in fact.” He knows. After all, wasn’t he the one bugging Selena for her touring schedule a few years ago just so he could prepare the surprise for Jugyeong? “She’s been disappointing me lately, though.”

“She has?” Was it because of him? He’d come back uninvited, he’d return like he never left. Right. Stupid. Why had he thought that was ever okay? Shit, what if Selena fires her? Would it be because of him? Suho’s stomach drops. “She’s - she’s been having a hard time—”

“Why are you making excuses for her, baby brother?”

Selena’s voice comes out in steel. Suho thinks he recognises it; sometimes he mimics it. Where had they gotten it from, he wonders? By themselves? Because Father was always charming, and their mother .... she was always so gentle-hearted. But not Lee Selena and Lee Suho. They’re made differently; they came out jagged and sharp.

“I’m not,” Suho argues, but that’s a lie, he knows.

Selena doesn’t buy it.

“You’re lucky we’re related and you don’t work for me,” She stands up then, caresses his face. Just like she would do back then, whenever she finds him hiding in the crooks and quiet places of their family villa, trying to hide from the world. She grasps at him like she wants so desperately to save him, save her little brother, but they’re both so helpless, hands tied behind their backs. What could she have done about a father who wasn’t there? How could she have played the role of a mother when that wasn’t hers?

And then Selena left to study. Suho was on his own again.

“I won’t give her special treatments if that’s what you’re worrying about.” Selena says a moment later, passing him to enter the kitchen. Suho could see now that there are boxes that she’s brought splayed on the table. Cookware, utensils, plates and cups: all in new white boxes wrapped in plastic.

He touches it.

Suho feels bad, for a second, that he found her irritating at all.

“Whether she dates you or don’t, it won’t affect how I oversee the people who works under me.”

Suho feels the tightness in his chest breaks apart. Good, he thinks. That was the one thing he knew he could’ve counted on his sister, that she rarely plays around when it comes to the reputation she built, the career she had, but - it still unnerves him. Is this really a good thing? Shouldn’t Jugyeong has some benefits, after all?

“You should tell her,” Selena’s voice grows softer. Suho looks to her sister: his fierce, determined older sister. Even in the face of gentleness, she has the foundation of a solid concrete and metal. Storms couldn’t have tumbled her down. Suho wishes, a little desperately, that he could have only a minuscule of that strength for himself. “That we’re related. Or you’ll drive yourself mad with thinking you deceived her.”

Suho doesn’t say anything.

“Have you taken your medication?”

“I was going to have dinner first,” He tells her, taking hold of the boxes in plastic and carrying it over to the kitchen counter. Selena’s effort is seamless; she receives what he puts down, and begins to unpack. Suho could only follow.

“Good. I’ll have dinner with you.”

Suho looks down, slows his own movement.

“Noona,” he calls, suddenly feels as if he has a fist right in his throat, and he’s working his voice around it. Suho feels like he’s back to being ten years old, scared, and not being sure who to hold. Their grandmother, Selena herself, or the ghost of their parents. “Thank you.”

“Do you love her?” She asks instead, without even looking up. “The intern.”

He doesn’t hesitate. “So much.”

“Then be careful, baby brother.” She’s strict. Never one for sentimentality. Almost like Jugyeong’s own sister, Heegyeong, except there’s always warmth in the Lim family, in how they move and talk and communicate. The Lees, not so much. “Don’t overdo it. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Jugyeong doesn’t hurt me,” not like he has. The pain inside his chest blooms.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t hurt yourself.” Again, the sharpness in the way she replies. Selena means business. Suho probably should gets used to this - but he just isn’t.

“Thank you,” Suho whispers, but he feels inadequate. Like it isn’t enough. He’s right - he can’t look at Selena for too long. All those time in the hospital, all those moment he almost called. She knows too much about him, his sister, and Suho’s not used to it.

(But maybe it is a good thing. Maybe it’s - nice, even, to know he’s seen by his family. That Selena always comes back, no matter the time and place. The sister who did save him: finding him this place after he didn't want to be with Grandmother anymore, setting up his therapy sessions, forcing him to finish his studies.)

“Thank you, Noona.”

“Silly boy. Stop crying. Here—” Selena hands an open set of spoons and forks. “Put this away.”

Suho does.

Author’s Note: ngl I might make this a series lol

[hughiecampbelle]

Which of your fics?

I was tagged by @locke-writes Noah!!! My love, thank you!!! Honestly, idk what's so therapeutic about looking back at old writing, but this made me appreciate it so much more!!! This is such a fun, lovely tag game and I'm so grateful to have been a part of it!!! Xoxoxo💜💖💜💖💜💖💜

Did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it did?

Well. . . . recently I've been feeling like everything kind of flops, y'know? I'd hate to sound whiny, but I get so excited to post something, and then it doesn't do as nearly as well as I'd thought. Crash and Burn (Lila Pitts Oneshot), Live and Breathe (Michael Gray Oneshot), and Temporary (Bonnie Gold Oneshot) are three that come to mind/are pretty recent 💜

Got a better reaction than you were expecting?

Knee Socks (Five Hargreeves Drabble) for sure!!! I've never had a fic kind of blow up like that, and considering it was a drabble and my blog was a lot smaller, its still mind boggling. Nicknames (Erik Killmonger Drabble), Emotional Whore (Thomas Shelby Oneshot) and Wicked Pt. 1 (Thomas Shelby Oneshot) also did incredibly well, which is always a shock, especially when I feel so insecure and unsure about posting it/think about deleting it 💖

Your funniest?

I don't really consider any of them funny? A more lighthearted one I'm still fond of is House Party (Billy Hargrove Oneshot). Ngl, I love it for a lot of reasons, but especially the quotes/dialogue. I know its not the best in general, but it's one of my biggest weaknesses as a writer and I'm glad I could work on it in this 💕

Your darkest or angstiest?

I think I might have a thing for writing dark things :P the most recent would be Clawfoot (Arthur Shelby Oneshot) where I was in a really dark mentality and it was written over a period of months as a means of therapy. It was both dark and intimate, so I didn't include a tag list. Older/earlier ones might be Hypothermia (Thomas Shelby Oneshot), Unhinged (Geralt of Rivia Oneshot), Childs Play (Klaus Hargreeves Drabble), and Too Late (Nebula Drabble). I have a lot, and more lol, so there's no shortage of angst!!! 💌

Your absolute favorite?

Oh I have so many for so many different reasons!!! I like some small lines, or plots, little details!!! I have no order for these, and these are three off the top of my head, but Cloud Animals (Luther Hargreeves Drabble), Blood Sport (Bonnie Gold Oneshot), and Over Before You Knew It (John Shelby Oneshot) 🌼

Was easiest to write?

I think as time goes on writing longer things has been easier, which is crazy, because I used to never think I'd never make it past 500 words, and now I mainly write oneshots! I can't say for sure the easiest. Some I didn't have to work so long on, like The Empath (Diego Hargreeves Drabble) or Volatile (Diego Hargreeves Drabble). Both are Diego lol, but these come to mind first when I think of something where the story kind of wrote itself 🌈

Was hardest to write?

Ahhh idk why, but anything with Dick Grayson. Animosity (Dick Grayson Drabble) or Hereditary (Dick Grayson Drabble). I felt like I never wrote him well as a character, among so many others, so writing anything for him that I could also be proud of was always a challenge. Some I feel like I know through and through, and others I have the hardest time wtiting/connecting with 💔

Have you re-read the most?

I don't really reread a lot of them. Some of the oldest like Napkin Artist (Steve Rogers Drabble), Vormir (Gamora Drabble), or Clairvoyance (Marvel Drabble). I like to revisit, especially the ones with a lot of comments/feedback, but most I'm either too embarrassed of or post and never look at again 😳

Would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time?

Hmmm. . . . I'm not entirely sure. I think I'd definitely promote some from all different fandoms and all different times, but especially the first one I ever wrote :) I'm probably being too sentimental, but without that first step, I never would have started any of this! 200+ fics later 💟

Napkin Artist (Steve Rogers Drabble)

Vormir (Gamora Drabble)

I'm On My Own (Tony Stark Drabble)

Clairvoyance (Marvel Drabble)

Crying Over Spilt Milk (Diego Hargreeves Drabble)

Knee Socks (Five Hargreeves Drabble)

House Party (Billy Hargrove Drabble)

Dirt Nap (Arthur Shelby Oneshot)

Unhinged (Geralt of Rivia Oneshot)

Honey, Baby, Sweetheart (Alfie Solomons Drabble)

Wake Up (Alfie Solomons Drabble)

Some are repeats! But I like them enough to mention again!!!

Tagging! @murswrites @multi-fandom-iimagines @theshelbyclan @peak-a-blinder @writerdream22 @writeroutoftime @writingwithacupoftea @smallheathgangsters @swanimagines @multifandomwriter56. @peakyswritings+ anyone else!!! This is so fun to look back on writing, seeing how I've grown and improved, even if it is a lil embarassing/cringey lol 🌷

[fameplagued]

❛ harry styles, 21, cismale, he/him ❜ was that EZRA WARD i just saw hurrying across the quad? you’d think they would know what happens when a JUNIOR is late to class. then again, the MUSIC MAJOR has been known to be pretty HEDONISTIC. maybe being so CHARISMATIC helps keep them out of trouble. i heard they aren’t an angel, though, and that they are BISEXUAL and love RISKY/PUBLIC SEX + MAKING AMATEUR PORN. 

ayyye friends, i’m happy to be here! i’m g, here to introduce my ugly son, he’s a mix of a few different characters i’ve played before but never quite like this so i’m hype :~) 

VISAGE: HARRY STYLES (MOSTLY CIRCA LATE 2014 & 2015 bc long hair)

VOICE-CLAIM (SPEAKING ACCENT & SINGING): HARRY STYLES

OTHER KINKS: CHOKING, ORGASM CONTROL/DENIAL, BEGGING, WORSHIP (REC)(GIV), PUNISHMENT + REWARD, ANAL, SPANKING, MARKING, BITING, HAIR PULLING, RIMMING (REC)(GIV), DADDY KINK, SIZE DIFFERENCE, VOYEURISM,  CLOTHES ON, GROUP SEX, SEXUAL PAIN, ORDERS (REC)(GIV), 

(ASK ABOUT OTHERS)

CANON TATTOOS (*MOSTLY)

born / raised just outside of manchester, england. comes from a wealthy yet extremely neglectful upbringing. his mother is english, his father is american, meaning since he was born in england, he’s of of dual citizenship. his family moved to his father’s home state of pennsylvania when he was 14, which is when he first starter his youtube channel

ok so a big thing is that ezra’s slow but currently steady rise to fame within the music industry has been alarmingly quick and that fact has shaped a lot of his personality; think justin bieber or shawn mendes with their gaining an initial fanbase and then a loyal following via starting out on youtube / other social media outlets as a young teenager, only with a much messier, Rockstar™ persona and you have ezra ward

there’s a pretty distinct difference between the version of himself that much of his dedicated fanbase perceptions are based on, and the Real Him. in the media he’s gradually becoming more of a household name for being a musician with a mostly positive message, an inclusive fanbase, a charming personality and being an all around humble, approachable, likable young guy

in his personal life, things are a bit,, different. he’s a hedonist, through and through, in that his pursuit of pleasure ranks far above everything else on his priority list. he’s also extremely sybaritic meaning crazy self indulgent when it comes to luxury, and in his late teens when he had the world at his fingertips, it was all about having the Best everything (mini bars, expensive cars, the good champagne, n private planes- ok i’ll shut up now no one needs my bad 1d references rn)

so basically he spent ages 17-19 as a touring musician after forming a backing band built of some his closest friends from high school, all the while earning his associates in arts in music through an online program; balancing social media as a full time job, getting to perform live in any kind of larger capacity, and still doing well in college posed quite a challenge, especially as he became more focused on the rockstar lifestyle and less on school

still, he never stopped wanting to learn as much as he possibly could about music, determined to become a master of his craft, so he earned his degree and kept hungry for knowledge. after a near-overdose the summer after he turned 19 however, his parents and their what felt to him like faux-concern at the time eventually talked him into putting touring and gaining celebrity status on the back burner for a while

in exchange for a proposed change in habits and lifestyle, they offered to pay for him to apply for and attend the prestigious university of his choice so he could get his bachelor’s degree in music theory, something he agreed to after heavy deliberation, and only after he had a personal realization about just how much the limelight was getting to him, the brighter it became did he decide it was for the best that he stepped back from it to focus on school

choosing college over touring /  growing the band’s popularity cost him a few members of his backing band / friends who had no interest in ‘waiting around for him to finish getting some stupid degree’ and went on to pursue other projects, which meant he no longer had the same support system in that group of friends that he’d become so used to, and that lead him to seek out a new one almost as soon as he was enrolled at northridge as a freshman: he immediately pledged omega pi  (bc we all know what a frat boy harry looked like at 19, hello, i’m not passing that up), finding that he fit right in with its reputation for being full of guys who were heavily focused on partying, and now that he’s a junior he’s in charge of marketing & recruitment :~)

his appetite for pleasure & luxury coupled with still considering himself a rich, successful musician and just being an incredibly sexually fueled person in general makes for a really delicious and dangerous mix ngl and so far in his 21 short years he’s lived a pretty Wildt life, even while at college

he hasn’t released anything music-wise for the couple of years he’s been at university, but he wants 22 (he turns that soon hi he’s an aquarius ass bitch) to be the year that changes, where he delves back into it and truly becomes the artist he was ~destined to be~ or whateva

frequently considers whether or not he made the right choice in essentially choosing college over being an artist / celebrity for the time being, and wonders if dropping out would be the better option (esp bc he thinks he only has so much Time anyway, more info below), but always talks himself out of it

is Firmly Set on the idea he’s going to be part of the 27 club (my boi is already almost 22 like :/ excuse u sir, snap out of that? someone give him a reason to live lmfao no i’m kidding i promise)

has an underlying hopelessly romantic side / has had a lot of either toxic or very intense relationships / has hurt & been hurt by a lot of people, so he has an extreme aversion to emotional attachment and falling in love / prefers casual sex / thinks he’ll never have a long term relationship again (yikes ik like hi get some therapy babe)

he’s reckless, impulsive, can be incredibly domineering, drinks too much, fucks too much (if that’s possible), and (drugs tw) does way too much coke for fun and too much adderall for studying, definitely every bit the ~tortured artist~ even though most of his issues are rooted in like, mommy/daddy issues and (homophobia tw) knowing his parents wouldn’t accept or support him any longer if they knew that he was bisexual

to sum it all up, he’s here for a good time, not a long time, and while he is here, he wants to learn all that he possibly can about music because to him it’s basically the meaning of life ok

that’s?? pretty much all i have for now, i will probably update this again at some point but i don’t want to make it too long because i definitely want to develop him within this group as i go along and besides it was just TIME for me to get something up

i’ll have a connections page up soon but some ideas off the top of my head are: best friends (platonic or otherwise), fwb, exes on good or bad terms, someone who also grew up in pennsylvania / maybe knows him from high school?, enemies w/ benefits, hookups via sorority/frat parties, professors he’s earned ~extra credit~ with or whateva, someone who was a fan before he came to northridge but now they lowkey hate him, someone who’s still a fan, fwb ft. one-sided crush, classmates, etc ! 

[simonarmstrcng]

heyo, i’m pepper, and i’m late as usual (who’s surprised?? not me lmao)! i am here to introduce you to my favourite mess, simon who was actually one of my first muses! i’m trying to revive him so atm he’s a bit bare bones but here’s hoping i can get through this intro coherently (unlikely, but i’ll try)

[ MUSE 3 ] ●● is that LUCAS JADE ZUMANN ? no, that’s just SIMON ARMSTRONG , the 16 year old CISMALE who is a HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR. some say they’re NERVOUS AND AWKWARD, but their family and friends will swear they’re INTELLIGENT AND COMPASSIONATE. when i think of them, i think of the smell of books, fingers indented by violin strings, freshly dusted spelling bee trophies, wrinkled noses, ironed socks, ink stained fingers, and notebooks filled with doodles. i wonder if their family know that HE is hiding that HE’S QUESTIONING HIS SEXUALITY. ●● ( pepper && twenty two && est && she/her )

BIO(ISH)

tl;dr he’s a soft anxious overachieving nerd who likes to draw. that’s it, that’s really it idk why i took so long to say that sdkjsdkj

here is an aesthetic moodboard for simon and here and here are a few personality one’s with gifs! also here is his pinterest board 

inspired by: seth cohen, stiles stilinski, amy santiago, hermione granger (and a bit of neville longbottom i’m ngl), spencer reid. 

simon has always been a bit high strung tbh i’m ngl. he was the kid on the playground who was always a bit too mature for the kids around him in the way that he’d be like five and stressing about his potential career paths or the state of global warming yk, always kind of had conversations with grown adults that made them do a double take just because very adult conversation coming out of a tiny kid can be kind of startling. that said, he never really quite fit in with his peers because of that, i feel like he may have even been bullied for it a bit in the past. he was definitely that kid who reminded the teacher about the homework i am not going to lie to you. 

 simon always took academics extremely seriously. he always puts pressure on himself to be perfect and get straight a’s and he is like the definition of a try hard, simon tries hard at freaking everything. his hard work pays off though, he’s been at the top of the honour roll for the past few years and he’s got more spelling bee, science fair, debate, and decathlon trophies decorating his room than he knows what to do with.

(not one for any athletics though,,, physical exercise was never simon’s strong suit)

also plays the violin and the piano, again, more evidence of him being a huge overachiever. he is actually quite talented honestly but he isn’t really incredibly passionate about either instrument. 

simon has asthma, is allergic to bees, has sleep paralysis and pretty bad anxiety. he used to get panic attacks as a child and while he hasn’t quite grown out of it, it’s not nearly as bad now. i feel like he is on medication for it though and he may even go to therapy. 

afraid of abandonment (irrational because i’m pretty sure he’s never been abandoned but it’s there) and he’s also afraid of failure, of being a disappointment to his family, of never living up to his potential (when he was younger he was advanced for his age academically so he has skipped a grade.) he fears that he’s a disappointment to his parents as a son considering he is the farthest thing one can be from a potential fbi agent, and considering he can’t even do a lap without wheezing he doesn’t think he ever will be, but he is trying to aim for forensics instead of anything in the actual field anywhere close to actual danger. kind of insecure despite his success and low, low, low, low low key kind of feels like the kid his dad brought home might be his new replacement as a son. 

one of his closest friends is the school guidance counselor atm. think edge of seventeen. he just goes in there, eats his lunch and talks to her about everything that’s going on with his life like it’s cheap therapy. 

wants to go to harvard and is a big ball of stress over it currently. he’s hit a whole new level of academic intensity and his sexuality crisis is not helping in the slightest, but it is very much happening and he doesn’t know what the hell to do about it thanks for asking. he may be bi or gay or pan or none of the above, he’s not sure and he’s not thinking about it because he doesn’t have time to be questioning his sexuality when college admissions are rearing their ugly head. 

a big introvert. can occasionally be very witty and funny if he’s comfortable you but if he’s not he tends to just be quiet and kind of awkward. tends to enjoy to spend a lot of time alone in his room playing animal crossing, or indulging in a very private hobby, drawing. 

simon has always loved art and comics and drawing but he knows they’re kind of pointless passions, like realistically he doesn’t think he will even actually become a comic book artist the odds are too low. and yet that hasn’t stopped him from doing it. drawing is really one of the only things that really calms his anxiety, and that he really enjoys doing. that and reading. so simon has secretly been drawing a comic. he hasn’t really shared it with anybody and would die if anyone found out about it. here is a moodboard for the comic (he’s going by the pen name orion kace like the nerd he is) and here are some headcannons about it. 

honestly a big sap. like lilo and stitch can still make him tear up even if he won’t admit it dkjdkj. he’s got a soft heart and kind of just wants to make sure everybody’s okay tbh. tends to worry more than he lets on which is saying something because he worries outwardly a lot too.

can be very tempermental/moody and selfish though, especially when stressed. he gets to a very self centered ‘woe is me i’m the only one with problems’ place when he’s stressed out. 

a big ass nerd! i feel that goes without saying but loves comics books, loves star wars, harry potter, and could probably recite the opening scene of game of thrones yk, that kind of nerd. 

has never gone to a party. has never smoked weed. has never snuck out. has never tasted more than a sip of alcohol. honestly, simon hasn’t done anything, and he’s okay with that. 

i think that’s it omg tHAT’S PROBABLY IT. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS ;

best friends - i feel like at least two of these would be fun! a little squad for my lonely boy (2/2) cailin, john

childhood friends - i will give you my left arm for a childhood friends plot. unlikely friends maybe? or just two nerds being dweebs together? friends who are still close as hell friends who had a falling out or just grew apart, idc i love it all please give it to me. cailin

the ex - i feel like simon maybe had ONE relationship in his lifetime if that and relationship might be stretching things. they could have held hands on the playground when they were six or dated in middle school (do you like me check yes or no sdkjsdk) kind of think like it could be that or it could be a high school thing, once again idc give it to me. 

student - someone who simon tutors maybe? simon is probably volunteering to do it to look good on his uni application so Yes free tutoring from your local nerd. skylar, aria, 

crush - like i said simon is questioning his sexuality so if anybody wants to volunteer to be the boy that simon has an inconvenient crush on please be my guest. scout

rival - an academic rival would be !!! so fun, because simon is lowkey quite competitive so this could be a really interesting connection. farrah

mentor - someone who simon looks up to a whole lot. this would likely have to be someone either really cool or really nerdy and this is open to older muses mostly, just older than simon tbh ajax

bad influence - someone who will get this boy to live a little! maybe drag him out to a party, get him a joint, get him drunk, the works! leo, andrew

those are just some ideas but ofc like this if you want to plot and i will come running! okay thank

[dandelioncasey]

I posted 9,690 times in 2021

79 posts created (1%)

9611 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 121.7 posts.

I added 2,120 tags in 2021

#star wars - 606 posts

#art appreciation - 345 posts

#anakin skywalker - 294 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 276 posts

#long post - 112 posts

#fic rec - 110 posts

#save for later - 101 posts

#the mandalorian - 94 posts

#luke skywalker - 93 posts

#author rec - 89 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#[zone out of current conversation] sorry i was reading [late for a meeting] sorry i was reading [missing for three months] sorry i was read-

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

The best ending for the star wars prequels imo (other than obvs Palpatine getting shoved out a window and Anakin getting all the court-mandated therapy literally ever and also doing space community service (is that a thing? it is now!)) is just like. All the Jedi survive. All of them.

Mace Windu survives the fall and is a badass with, like, space prosthetics. Plo Koon somehow survives whatever the fuck happened to him (I think he got shot? Idk I have decided he fakes his death because of reasons). Kit Fisto and Cin Drallig and everyone who dies by lightsaber somehow miraculously avoided getting hit in anything actually essential, like maybe they lost an internal organ but they got really quick space medicine that healed that shit right up.

Why is this the best ending, you may ask? Because, I say, everyone still thinks each other is dead/is in hiding and hasn't heard anything from anyone right up until, like, ANH. Obi-Wan goes to sacrifice himself for the latest generation of Skywalker bullshit but then all the Jedi have somehow just all showed up at once (idk they had great timing because the Force or smth) and also all the stormtroopers have been mind tricked or dechipped, whichever is relevant and makes them not want to hurt the Jedi.

Basically it's just the Spider-Man meme where everyone is like 'wait you're alive? I'm alive!' with just more and more Jedi somehow appearing and it's just several straight minutes of everyone we thought was dead appearing again with no explanation and Obi-Wan is just. He's so confused. Please let this man nap.

(And then Palpatine gets shoved out a window. While Obi-Wan is napping. It's very important.)

100 notes • Posted 2021-08-26 05:18:44 GMT

#4

I just love the concept of modern AU Obi-Wan Kenobi being a Soft™ man who wears jumpers and drinks tea and seems very polite and professor-like but also is the most reckless sonofabitch you've ever met who is absolutely ready to throw down at All Times no questions asked

Meanwhile modern Anakin probably wears a leather jacket and gloves and ripped jeans and rides a motorbike and seems like a badass mechanic-type or mobster or smth but you so much as say the first syllable of his wife's name and he's goo on the floor, plus he Can and Will gush about his children for hours unprompted

102 notes • Posted 2021-02-25 02:00:25 GMT

#3

No fictional couple has ever had what Morticia and Gomez had and no fictional family has ever had better parents than the Addamses

152 notes • Posted 2021-06-21 08:23:36 GMT

#2

Love how I have exactly two people that I like seeing Anakin Skywalker with (and maybe one more that I would consider but only by certain authors) meanwhile my view on Obi-Wan Kenobi is that he deserves to get dicked down by any and everyone (and I've shipped him in some fucking weird pairings ngl)

294 notes • Posted 2021-08-18 07:59:23 GMT

#1

My favourite type of Anakin is the one where he's incredibly insightful about everything that isn't about him (even if he isn't quite sure how to deal with it), but when it comes to his own personal life he is the most oblivious bitch known to man.

For example:

Anakin: Obi-Wan you looked at the duchess and smiled and had snarky banter I can totally tell you had a crush on her two decades ago

or

Anakin: hey Snips, you look uncomfortable and your stomach is growling so I had us land on a planet with lots of wildlife and no people, go hunting until you're actually full because ration bars suck

vs

Anakin: *makes out with his wife literally in the council chamber and also on live TV* I am So Subtle, I am the best at keeping secrets

449 notes • Posted 2021-10-13 01:34:06 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[verdigrisprowl]

Feb 28 Bevel’s Movie Stream - Star Trek Discovery

A reshow of the prior Saturday’s screening, for Tarantulas’s benefit. Everyone was very careful not to say spoilers in front of him.

Prowl didn’t particularly want to see the broadcast again, but did in order to further inure himself against the mind-prodding scenes.

Tarantulas 9:24 pm (( HEY NERDS ItsyBitsySpyers 9:24 pm ((YO)) Tarantulas 9:24 pm (( TESTING (( gonna make a sound (( boink Bevel 9:29 pm *Bevel obviously already here like y'do* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:29 pm *Soundwave stretches and kicks his heels up on a feeler perch. Tarantulas is late but that's not new; in the meantime, he'll be as comfy as he likes.* Tarantulas 9:32 pm *l8, l8, for a very important d8* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:32 pm *Are you a rabbit or a spider, sir? Do sit.* Bevel 9:32 pm *waves for Tara* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:33 pm [][][]The Shadow knows.[][][] Tarantulas 9:33 pm *a loose salute for the chameleon* The shadow knows what? *does sit. where do sits* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:34 pm [[The darkness in the spar-- the hearts of humans, he believes it goes.]] [[Also, hello.]] *Still so offended by the eating of what looks like an octopus.* Bevel 9:35 pm *is now sporting bright pink and purple paint instead of her rainbows from last time* Tarantulas 9:37 pm Hello. hyeh. Tarantulas 9:39 pm *wants to lie down or perch oddly or something. sitting normally gets boring. just gonna lean over the back of soundwave's couch for now* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:40 pm *Soundwave shifts a feeler so one holds both feet while the other stretches up to curl over a shoulder.* Tarantulas 9:42 pm *lazily fluffs his setae as a secondary hello* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:42 pm *Feels that and puffs. How odd.* [[Will we have more of these this week, Bevel?]] Tarantulas 9:43 pm I thought that was the intention of this - catching me up. Although you DID start without me. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:43 pm ((ngl if i had no idea who plays Lorca I'd never guess he wasn't from the US by accent)) [[You missed very little, he assures you.]] Bevel 9:44 pm ((He doesn't even look or act like the last character I remember him playing it's wild ItsyBitsySpyers 9:45 pm *...Wonders if anyone ever invented the agonizer booths or something like them in Prowl and Tarantulas' timelines. Is sure they wouldn't be allowed now.* Tarantulas 9:45 pm *if anyone invented them it'd've been mesothulas* Bevel 9:45 pm One more this week! I found two more but they were not very clear records so I have to find better quality ones. When I do I will show them. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm [[Hm. Very well. He'll use the extra time to catch up on some logs.]] ItsyBitsySpyers 9:47 pm [[They can see THAT.]] Prowl 9:49 pm *and if he HAD, that would have been the thing Prowl noisemazed him for.* *hello guess who arrived extra-extra late. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm *Soundwave perks a little and pings greetings.* Tarantulas 9:50 pm *it prowl!! perks* Bevel 9:50 pm *waves to Prowl* Prowl 9:50 pm *sits with and leans on soundwave, returns the greeting ping* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:51 pm *Leans in and continues watching. He's a little surprised Prowl came to this, all content considered, but Prowl knows what he's doing. He hopes.* Prowl 9:51 pm *exposure therapy.* How's your head? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:52 pm [[He is well again, he thinks. Thank you.]]

@P: [[And he has caught up to most of what he lost.]] Prowl 9:53 pm @S «Glad to hear that.» ItsyBitsySpyers 9:54 pm *Nudges Prowl's leg with a loop of the feeler on the ground. He is thankful for the watchfulness.* Prowl 9:54 pm *he'll acknowledge that in a minute. he needs to focus on not reacting to this scene.* *at least he knows what's coming.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:54 pm *Yes, of course.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm ((i love the modern andorian makeup)) ((with the extra cheekbone wigglies)) Tarantulas 9:57 pm *tarantulas is gonna lean over and pet at one of prowl's shoulders before returning to the other side of soundwave* Bevel 9:58 pm ((the antennae wiggle too and it's great Prowl 9:58 pm *STARTS* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:58 pm *Is startled by the start.* Prowl 9:58 pm *you've thrown this room into chaos, tarantulas* Bevel 9:58 pm *does nothing* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:58 pm *See? Chaos. Unpredictability.* Prowl 9:59 pm *turns to give tarantulas a sideways half-look. what.* Tarantulas 10:01 pm *inscrutably squints his visor just a tad and proceeds to try and get comf* Prowl 10:01 pm *... okay. turns away, then.* Prowl 10:03 pm *he's getting pretty good at not visibly reacting* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:03 pm *You know, this is probably the clearest example he's ever had of the kinds of things Prowl has told him about.* *He wonders how much Tarantulas has been told.* Tarantulas 10:04 pm *ZIPPO* Tarantulas 10:14 pm *has somehow managed to pull a cat-maneuver and melted over the couch, flopping over the back onto his back and sliding down til he can see the screen upside down* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:16 pm *Looks down at Tarantulas.* [[...Are you quite comfortable like that?]] Prowl 10:16 pm *Pointedly doesn't look down at Tarantulas.* Tarantulas 10:18 pm *smol laugh* Comfortable enough. *his limbs are everywhere tho* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:20 pm *Curiously pinches at the ends of the legs down by his feet.* Tarantulas 10:21 pm *swipes & pinches back* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:21 pm *Quiet huffing.* *Ohhh yes. This is THAT tape.* Prowl 10:21 pm *scoots his leg sideways to keep it out of range of the pinching and swatting.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm [[Ah. Apologies.]] Prowl 10:23 pm Hm. *THIS scene is HARDER to watch the second time. The first time through he could just accept it for what it was; this time, he can't think of it as anything but an elaborate patch that can't be escaped.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:24 pm *Soundwave just keeps thinking about the times he and that one alternate shared memories and other data. Not so different.* *...Well, Stamets isn't sparkbonding with his conjunx in these thoughts, but the general idea stands.* Prowl 10:26 pm *The choosing of the Kelpien. ALSO harder to watch the second time.* Prowl 10:31 pm ... They could have prevented a lot of this by doing some very basic research. Like, say, looking up the name of the emperor. Maybe the local Michael's history. Things like, for example, where she grew up. Tarantulas 10:32 pm Too late, hyeh. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:33 pm [[He does not know if it would be that easy. There are probably humans whose work it is to monitor such queries. It would be odd for her to look up her own past.]] Prowl 10:33 pm "I was looking up my own record to check if I'm still listed as dead or if it's been fixed yet." "Considering that a coup was in process when I disappeared to chase Lorca, I was looking up the emperor to make sure no one else had succeeded in it." ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm [[Such a search would only grant her seconds. That data would take much longer to gather.]] Prowl 10:35 pm You saw how much data they had on the local universe's Tally. Clearly they had no such qualms about searching for and studying her file in depth. Then why not something as simple as looking up the emperor's name? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:36 pm *Notes the latest in the name errors with some internal amusement and tilts his helm.*

[[Hmm. He supposes you're right.]] Prowl 10:37 pm *Prowl doesn't remember if there was anything unpleasant in this scene or if it's not til later. Braces himself accordingly.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:37 pm ((i love the scar makeup)) Prowl 10:37 pm *mentally braces. physically nothing.* Tarantulas 10:37 pm *hmph. pouts* ...Not enough science in this epis - good, Stamets, yes. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:38 pm [[The mirror Stamets does have a point. In some minds, distractions from the intended path can indeed be permanent. Sometimes painfully so.]] Prowl 10:38 pm *that was far more than prowl needed to know about the horrors of being trapped in someone else's head.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:38 pm *Well, he'd rather be honest about it than sugarcoat the risks.* Prowl 10:39 pm *prowl wasn't going to take those risks anyway but good to know?* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:39 pm *Soundwave isn't the only one out there, and many are less interested in preserving Prowl than him.* Tarantulas 10:40 pm ...Sometimes they serve as a sort of salvation, but I'm assuming that's not the sort of thing you're referring to. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:40 pm [[Generally not.]] Prowl 10:40 pm *Soundwave can rest assured that if anyone else ever gets inside prowl's head, his mental self-representation will curl up into a ball and implode.* Prowl 10:44 pm *BRACES SELF* Tarantulas 10:45 pm *you know, tarantulas hasn't taken inventory of all the inventions he should totally follow up on irl. should do that sometime. totally unrelated to the needlefingers tho* Prowl 10:45 pm *visibly, he doesn't tense up. he doesn't go still. he doesn't even blink.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:45 pm *That is - unexpected.* Prowl 10:45 pm *practice makes perfect.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:45 pm *And yes, inventory. One should always know what intriguing things are in one's possession.* Tarantulas 10:46 pm *nono, things he's inspired by from this show* Tarantulas 10:52 pm Oh /boo/. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:52 pm [[Boo? Why boo?]] Prowl 10:52 pm ... I still want to know how he got across. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:53 pm [[As does he.]] *Pause.* [[And if that network can be accessed and utilized by inorganic life.]] Tarantulas 10:53 pm It has something to do with the Defiant, doesn't it? Didn't that transfer happen in the past? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:53 pm [[No. That transfer actually has yet to happen.]] [[That is, it is one universe's future and one universe's past.]] Tarantulas 10:54 pm Wait - I forget. What? Prowl 10:55 pm And they mentioned that everyone who transferred through on the Defiant lost all mental stability. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:56 pm [[Where the Michael human is from, it has not happened yet. When it does, it will go back to before the mirror universe's current time. It travels both timeline and time itself.]] [[And, what Prowl said.]] Tarantulas 10:57 pm Or maybe the timelines run opposite. *hmm* I didn't mean he boarded the Defiant or such - just that there might be something linked to the jump, some way of having taken advantage of it. Maybe it was externally induced. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:57 pm [[Possibly.]] [[Unfortunately, we know as much as you at this time.]] Tarantulas 10:58 pm Hyeh, fair. Tarantulas 10:59 pm Poor Stamets, though... *slides down the couch a little more in sadness* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:59 pm [[Yes. Such a loss, and no time to process it. He hopes they will not break at a crucial moment.]] Tarantulas 11:01 pm *breaks at a crucial moment. oops. slid too far and OOMPHS onto the floor * ItsyBitsySpyers 11:02 pm *Hard huff and shaking shoulders. He could not have asked for anything better tonight.* Tarantulas 11:02 pm *at least it's his shoulders and leggies that take the brunt of the fall* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:02 pm [][][]Down came the rain and washed the spider out.[][][] Tarantulas 11:02 pm *SWAT* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:02 pm *Shaking harder.* *Will, in fact, slide down in his seat some from it.* Tarantulas 11:03 pm *has recovered himself and is sitting cross-legged on the floor now* Prowl 11:03 pm *almost falls. Sits upright.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:04 pm *Lifts an arm and offers it as a brace. It's long enough.* Prowl 11:04 pm *no thanks, but pats arm.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:05 pm *Nods and lets it fall across his abdomen. It's probably for the best. He might've rattled Prowl a little with it wobbling with him like that.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:07 pm [[On this note, he should return to prepare for this weekend. He has allowed his deployers to make a mess of the building this week,]] he says like it's anything more serious than a few things out of place per minicon, [[and he does not want any guests to stumble onto something they shouldn't.]] Tarantulas 11:07 pm A mess? Howso? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:08 pm [[Plush toys, the twins' game chips, Buzzsaw's art supplies... things resting in places they don't belong.]] Tarantulas 11:08 pm Ah, so an actual mess, not destruction. Hyah. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:09 pm [[Primus, no. He would be busy repairing destruction instead of rewatching and thinking about these documentaries if that were the case.]] [[Rather, the ones responsible would be, while he supervised. With occasional assistance.]] Tarantulas 11:10 pm But you're not here for the documentaries really, you're here for the /company/. *obviously himself. ur here 4 spideambiance. tarantulambiance* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:10 pm [[He is here for both.]] Tarantulas 11:10 pm *snickers* Prowl 11:11 pm *is here for the documentaries* Tarantulas 11:11 pm *r00d* Prowl 11:11 pm *... and a little bit to make up for the movie nights he didn't sit with Soundwave while Soundwave was recovering from a head injury.* Bevel 11:11 pm *is here for company!* Tarantulas 11:12 pm *don't lie prowl, you're secretly hoping for another helm smooch* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:12 pm *Will just go home alone, then.*

*Soundwave reels his feelers back in and stands, dusting invisible dirt off his knee guards.* [[Thank you for the second chance, Bevel.]] Bevel 11:12 pm You're welcome, Soundwave. Good luck cleaning up. Tarantulas 11:12 pm Thank you for the first chance, hyeh. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:13 pm [[Tarantulas, Prowl.]] *Nods.* [[And cleaning up is not a matter of luck. Merely discipline and diligence. But he appreciates the sentiment anyway.]]

[[Rest well, all.]]

*Open, bridge!* Prowl 11:14 pm *nods back and farewell ping. WOULD offer to go along, but he said he's got to clean, so.* *and disappears* Tarantulas 11:14 pm *nods at soundwave* *INSTANT DISMAY. PROWL'S GONE* Tarantulas 11:17 pm *flops back on the floor. sads. rolls his helm to the side and looks at the only remaining party* ...You're a sweetspark for rewatching this for me. Bevel 11:20 pm I liked watching it again and it was nice having everyone here again. Tarantulas 11:22 pm Good, good. *slow, dramatic sigh* I suppose I oughtn't loiter, should I. Bevel 11:24 pm I do not mind. I was just gonna fix some stuff upstairs after the movie. Tarantulas 11:24 pm Upstairs, hm? Bevel 11:26 pm Uh-huh. I have been fixing the building since I got it for movie nights. It is a small building *for Cybertron anyway* so I can fix it without tearing down the whole place. Tarantulas 11:27 pm Do you have any particular plans? *waves around a spiderlimb absentmindedly* Bevel 11:31 pm Um, well, the floor right above us is where I stay sometimes, so it mostly just looks like a workshop but I want to add a dock for my ship into the floor above. After that? I think maybe just make the floors above that into apartments or something. Tarantulas 11:44 pm And rent them out?