#been doing my horrid thesis

[nochangeintheplan]

Hijikata...

[megabuild]

what is aoyuer? is that an acronym for something?

okay so i meant to make a big doc explaining what aoyuer is like months ago but then i started working on different projects and put it on the back burner.. and then i got ill and now i don't have much time to work on stuff at all. but not having the doc sucks and means anything i ever say about it is very confusing. so i'm so sorry anon for using your ask as an excuse to just dump as much aoyuer lore as i can without reasonably spoiling it but also thanks for reminding me that i have a lot of followers here who have never heard of it. a sobering thought

tldr; aoyuer (as of yet untitled empires rewrite) (sorry bree) is my au rewrite of empires smp that aims to connect seasons 1 and 2 as well as after life, new life, and a bunch more inbetween, with a major focus on pixlriffs' story. it also ties up a lot of loose ends and is generally darker and more adult-aimed than the original series. technically that's all you need to know but here's the no spoilers plot rundown for those interested

so aoyuer is built up of ~7 arcs but only 4 of them are like Super important

arc 0: this is just afterlife smp and a ton of early worldbuilding, the crash of the great stags, etc; what's most important from this is that oli exists and has for thousands of years, probably

arc 1: empires season 1! set in the 1500s, the world is going through a sort of renaissance period with massive technological advancements. pixlriffs the copper king (cprk) is working a boring little library job and spending most of his time kicking himself and being mad he hasn't done anything with his life (he is only like 30 but the idea of feeling old and unaccomplished even when you're young is a major theme for arc 1). enter fwhip! who is his annoying ex-roommate ex-bestie ex-boyfriend from university that left him on pretty bad terms. he has a way more accomplished job and as part of that he has been allowed to head The Empires Project which is a major journey intended to further some distant colonies while also investigating the land they're on. the land has some weiiird properties which fwhip thinks could be harnessed to create functional immortality (which was the subject of pix's thesis). he wants pix to come with him and investigate. pix feels weird about it but agrees to come along and be the "emperor" for the desert colony while he does his research... and then things get fucked up and scary! its a high fantasy that switches between a metaphorical dissection of their horrid will they won't they relationship and both of their issues aaand a more Literal dissection of the land and things living in it. including people and animals. at times. and also involves pix accidentally awakening a curse for a billion million years which sets the rest of aoyuer in motion.

arc 1.5 is sort of Not important but iwlike it a lot. there's not much to be said for it without major spoilers but it's set a little bit after arc 1 and comprises of fwhip being very upset about how his stupid project fell apart and trying to write up an Official Report on why everything fell apart while also coming to terms with him being the worst guy to ever have lived or something. much of aoyuer is like thinly veiled metaphors for mental illness but this one is just about mental illness

arc 2 sends us years forward into season 2 in the 1800s and our protagonist is professor pixelle riffs, lorekeeper (lrkp) who leaves his job as an archaeology lecturer to go and study the ancient capital and The Machiiine. because the machine set up WAY too much cool stuff to just ignore. sculk infection/possession is a big part of this arc. however while he's doing all this he meets oli! remember him? who has crash landed in S2 (basically the same way he did in canon) and is now regularly butting heads with pix. they eventually become friends and then umm something more :3 a lot of this remains the same as canon except the sculk arc gets a proper conclusion and ties into the ghost stuff. it ends with oli's finale where he still fakes his death (the goblin stuff is going to be changed but it's up in the air right now) and pix is devastated but pretty certain there's something not quite right so he picks greggory up and goes off in search of his lame ass boyfriend.

arc 2.5 actually takes place mid arc 2 because it's the hermpires crossover, which is less different dimensions and more different times (hermitcraft is our present and the rift facilitates time travel). when pixelle the archaeologist steps through the rift it causes serious time fuckery and so he sort of gets. forcefully ejected from his body and becomes a ghost possessing pixl riffs of the hermitcraft recap (rcp) who stumbles out of the rift very tired and very confused! there's a lot of fun mistaken identity stuff between him and oli and this is generally the most like. comedic and casual of the arcs though it still has some sweet moments.

arc 3 is just new life smp. where pixelle finally ends up in nl, finds that his lame ass boyfriend is still alive, and has relationship drama with him Except on top of that the land that new life is set on has similar properties to the land from arc 1 (functional immortality except it has some different effects, aka. going through drastic physical changes every time you "die") and so pixelle starts investigating that and maybe finds out that his whole life and his ancestors and descendants lives might be caught up in a time loop because of the copper king. forever and ever. this hasn't got much for it because i was going to work from new life canon as a base but then both pix and oli stopped playing on it LMFOHALDH but anyway.

aaand arc 4! final arc! which is set in the present right after pixl (the recap one) returns home from the hermitpires crossover. except the weird ghost voice of his ancestor in his head.. isn't going away? or rather its been replaced by a different one who is sending him on The Heros Journey. along with zloy and lyarrah and modern fwhip. this is basically the long awaited Conclusion to the curse that the copper king put in place and a lot of bullshit happens that icant really explain but it ties up all the loose ends and is generally just pix consistently having the worst time. hes the only pix who goes through hell without bringing it upon himself like he was just born.

and um. that's aoyuer! obviously there's more for all the arcs and i am happy to answer Basically any questions even though i get a little nervous sharing stuff about it because im shy. But iwhope thag explains at least a bit for everyone. My dream is to write this all into various fanfics but that looks kinda unlikely rn but it means a lot to me and you can kinda safely assume if I'm ever talking about or drawing empires there's a 99% chance it's actually aoyuer because I forget canon exists .AOYUER WORLDWIDE

[sylvies-chen]

ok it’s been days and though this is not the most aggravating thing about 11x03 of CF (which honestly, INSANELY, says a lot about how awful this episode was) it’s still worth being discussed so here is my hot take of an essay on why Sylvie’s monologue in this episode was absolute bullshit writing.

putting everything under the cut as always, just to clean up your dashboards. I hope you’re ready for some intellectually vocalized anger :))))

So listen. I get it. The “this job, this life… it forges you in steel” line is really cool. It’s a pretty fucking badass line, everyone can see that. But thematically, Sylvie’s monologue of an explanation for why she’s truly— no seriously— okay with her breakup with Matt is not only extremely out of character for her, but also brings up an issue I have had with the way the writers room, and One Chicago in general, writes female characters.

Sylvie uses the anecdote of the female stabbing victim who died by her side in season 6 to explain to Violet why the breakup isn’t affecting her as openly as expected. She says that when it happened, she cried in her car for days because she had a hard time dealing with it, but now she’s stronger than that. That statement in and of itself is completely antithetical to Sylvie Brett as a character. (And boy if you could see the utter fury with which I say that out loud.)

The story is fine, if she hadn’t already used it four seasons ago as a reason why Matt should seek help and open up about his feelings as opposed to pushing everyone out and internalizing it. That behaviour is what she condemned in season 7, because she regretted not having opened up and let others in to see that emotion. Now, in season 11, she all but embraces it. What she once used as a story to promote healthy emotional vulnerability is now being used to help her push her feelings down even further.

Which brings me to my larger thesis on the Chicago Fire writers: that these writers have no clue how to break free from their own unhealthy masculine ideas of strength to be able to write what real strength is. Because to me, claiming that Sylvie (in season 6) crying in her car was weak sends the message that crying itself is not a strong thing to do. That she somehow needed thicker skin.

I am well aware of the horrid nature of being a first responder. I know a thick skin is needed. But that still does not completely negate the sometimes therapeutic and healing value of having a good cry. Letting your emotions come out in whatever form they take in a moment, that is always a healthy thing. If you let an emotion exist as it is in a moment, whether it be crying or screaming into an open field or just straight taking a nap, it becomes easier to let it go. You’ve sat with the feeling, you know what it is and you’ve let yourself feel it wholly, and now you’re picking yourself up and trying to be happy again. You are not supposed to let a feeling consume you or make you scared, but you also aren’t suppoed to completely numb yourself to a feeling. There is a balance to be had.

So now you have Sylvie, saying she’s stronger than a version of herself who would cry when she felt sad (because wow, how terrifying would that have been). An extremely important relationship for her has ended— one she thought was it for her, the happy ending, the last relationship she thought she’d ever need— and she is refusing to shed a single tear. That is really disheartening, because women are often berated for being emotional and vulnerable, and now this development in Sylvie only enforces the idea that being an emotional, feeling, crying human being is somehow a sign of weakness. An error. A flaw. It is none of these things. Crying in healthy doses and being affected in moderation by the work you do and the things you experience is not only normal, but in itself a strong thing to do. Make no mistake: it is extremely brave to let yourself feel strong, raw emotions.

This is the same problem I had with Gabby Dawson. Now I promise with all my heart this is not “shit on Gabby Dawson” hour. I’m not trashing her character, I’m just pointing out something that bothered me with the way she was written. We are introduced to her in season 1 and immediately she is established as a total badass. She’s one of the boys, basically: she can match their speed and strength, she’s tough, cool, doesn’t take their digs personally, responds to things with anger first before sadness, doesn’t like relying on anyone. And as much as I loved that, I find that sometimes the writers overdid it wayyyyyy too much. Whether you like it or not, Gabby Dawson exemplified every trait of toxic masculinity: disregard for the rules and for authority being seen as badass, rarely cried when handling tough calls, an acute aversion to depending on anyone or anything. She was rewarded for it. She was the strong female character only because she was like the men.

Men have an idea in their heads of what it means to be strong, or to be a man, which almost always involves some sort of concealing of emotions. No crying, no honesty, no vulnerability with people you are close to. Just bear it all “like a real man would.” Stoicism is worshipped, placed on a pedestal and regarded as the ultimate show of strength. It is bullshit, and it bothers me when women show strength and emotion simultaneously and are then punished for it. It bothers me when men try and impose these very ideas onto women as well. Why should Sylvie Brett be seen as any weaker than the rest of her coworkers for letting herself feel sad and cry when she needed to cry? Why should a woman like her be seen as in need of some toughening up if she can cry that hard in her car and still go to work the next day with her head completely in the game? Why is what we consider femininity constantly mocked and undermined and seen as incompatible with strength?

Women? We are strong in our own ways. Our emotional openness is a pièce de résistance in today’s patriarchal society. We know it is a mark of strength. That is a fact.

Sylvie Brett has always been strong. She has been as strong when crying in Matt’s arms or embracing “femininity” by bringing flowers into the firehouse as she has been when she’s had a gun held to her head. This is non-negotiable, and the writers can never take that from me.

[abla-soso]

My gal Twice literally developed a split personality that he couldn’t control for years. Brainwashing like that done in cults isn’t the same as media you know where a person has zero control over their actions. The manga spelled out way back in the My Villain Academia saga that Toga experienced extreme child quick “therapy” that was meant to mentally suppress the urges her quirk gave her. The mask imagery in those scenes existed to show the extreme mental pressure that put her under it wasn’t a simple talking session with a counselor.  She was biting her hands drinking blood from her wounds in her sleep the experience did not leave her mentally stable.

Also you are literally the only one saying the LOV can’t be called out or aren’t responsible so don’t argue that when that isn’t the point at all. Maybe you  interact with people that are giving you guilt free stuff but that was never the point of the manga or what we were talking about so stay on point. 

If you feel people are saying you don’t understand trauma it is because your rants suggest that. You act and write in a way that is only black or white. Either the characters have full empathy and agency and choose evil or they have none and can’t control themselves. If you understood trauma you would know it can be a mix of both where you lack full control but are still responsible for the consequences of your actions. You say you understand but you don’t behave or argue in a way that in any manner really suggests you do beyond buzzwords.

You say “But I obviously do.” Where? Nothing you have said suggests you do. Everything you write is either fighting about arguments some unnamed people made or saying you guys as if the people that talk to you and point out issues with your posts are a hive mind that all believe these extreme points. If you think I want the LOV to skip away after the fight like nothing happened you are the one who doesn’t understand anything because you have made up something in your mind and are getting upset about that over there far away from the truth.

I mean You say you hope characters die and then act surprised when people thing you don’t want those characters heal. Shocking. It is as if you have no concept of others outside of you. Argue about guilt free cards when someone actually says such a thing and I mean actually says that says that not says something that you think means that. Don’t fight the battles you have with other people with anyone besides them.

Also maybe you may disagree but the key thesis of MHA is a true hero fights to save everyone. Just like a doctor fights to help all their patients or a firefighter fights to rescue everyone from a fire. If Ochako wants to make her profession you know her actual job hero work the story is saying she must first do everything she can even put her life on the line to save people and she can’t turn away who she saves. Same as how a firefighter must put their lives on the line and enter burning buildings where they could die to rescue people no matter who they are even terrible people. Same as how a doctor must treat everyone even murders and horrible people. Sorry but de-escalation isn’t easy. The reality of it is that you have to make yourself vulnerable to people some horrid that can hurt you. The story has always been about the idea that to defeat a villain it isn’t enough to just hit it society does need to listen to and address the issues that caused various problems and work to fix them while holding villains accountable. And for that message to work you have to do it for extreme characters just like a redemption arc doesn’t work unless the character has done something extremely bad.

Maybe we can agree that this is a lot for anyone and why again the society in MHA is flawed because it is traumatizing and using teenagers to fight these battles because the adults failed to protect the children or to address these issues. But the story is meant to take extreme issues and show kids that even if the world is messed up right now and they have to fix problems adults failed to address or worse contributed to that hope isn’t lost and they can do it by working together.

Its a modern fairytale where instead of children being forced to go fight giants and monsters they are being asked to empathize with people who hurt them instead of just calling them evil and killing them. Both stories when taken to extremes are bad but both teach valuable lessons the first bravery and the second empathy and both resilience, teamwork and courage. 

This is just as obnoxiously condescending and ignorant as your previous message that I was tempted to just delete it. But I’m in a mood to rant and vent, so I will.

Talking to people like you is so frustrating because you swear you’re not excusing the villains and you claim you’re holding them accountable and yet you jump through hoops to declare the villains as too traumatized to know right from wrong and thus give them a guilt free card. Maybe work on this of lack self-awareness before barging to a stranger’s inbox to be as obnoxious as possible.

I don’t have the time or the energy or the desire to go through my whole blog just to give you specific examples of me supporting the idea of giving the villains a chance for redemption and healing. I’ve talked about it many, many times. Look for it if you care. But don’t talk out of your ass and assume how my mind works. Just because I no longer feel sympathy for the villains and wouldn’t care if they dropped dead doesn’t mean I don’t logically support the idea of their healing and atoning. 

I am so beyond sick and tired of this narrative that claims anyone who dares criticize Hori’s writing (when it comes to the heroes’ responsibility to the villains) is an ignoramus who doesn’t get the story’s themes. I get the themes. Empathy is nice and mercy is cool. I fucking get it. I just think they’re terribly written. 

Your comparison between heroes and doctors/firefighters is disingenuous because when doctors/firefighters say “we need to save everyone” they’re working against the elements of nature (diseases/fire), not against the people they’re trying to save. Your comparison would work if you compared the heroes with cops or the military or forensic psychologists or any job that forces people to help or deescalate the violence of criminals who insist on causing destruction and assaulting others. And guess what? None of them think all criminals can be saved. None of them think it’s possible to save someone who doesn’t want to self-reflect and take responsibility. None of them prioritize “saving” the criminals above protecting innocent people. None of them think deescalating means putting their literal lives in jeopardy. 

And Hori is not even consistent with his "save everyone" because he showed us Deku giving up on some villains! Why are the league of the villains the only ones given endless chances while the other villains were tossed away after one chance and sometimes without being given any chance???

Other writers of Shonen manga nailed the “save the villains” plot because they leaned heavily on the unrealistic/fantastical presentation of their themes and characters’ psychologies, while Hori was fairly realistic. And they made sure that the heroes would not dehumanize themselves to be empathic and compassionate, and they would mostly let the “talk-no-jetsu” therapy for after the fight was over and the villains’ asses were kicked. And most importantly: they didn’t make every single hero - even teenagers! - feel morally obligated to give that “talk-no-jetsu” in the first place. That’s why their “save the villains” story worked and Hori’s didn’t. 

One of Hori’s biggest problems is making the heroes feel morally obligated to be the villains’ therapists! during times of war! while the villains are trying to literally murder them! That is a ridiculous demand because BNHA is not a fucking fairytale. If it was, then serious RL issues like child abuse and redemption would be dealt be symbolically and not realistically. If BNHA was a symbolic fantasy then I wouldn’t care if serious RL issues (like terrorism, stalking, physical assault, attempted murder, and adultification) were used in an abstract way to explore other RL issues (empathy, mercy, acceptance, child abuse, isolation, despair). Like I said in the previous ask: You can’t argue for hyper-realism when talking about the villains’ trauma/moral responsibility but argue for utterly unrealistic fantasy bullshit when talking about the heroes’ trauma/moral responsibility (just give the traumatized terrorists empathy and mercy and they will stop being evil!). You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

[daisychainsandbowties]

coming off the high of 17776 au so... 17 and 6 (pjo au)? also i know it's a sequel so this may be cheating but 18 (orbital mechanics)? many thanks 🙇

i’m glad you liked that first bit of 17776 au it spent a whole day incubating in my head before i wrote it so… chaos of conception is = to chaos of execution 😌

17. what highly specific au do you want to read or write even though you feel like you might be the only person to appreciate it?

i answered this already but the aus are unending so… i would LOVE to read a how to train your dragon au where ava gets to bond with a night fury and bea can?? help with the design for the rig to help with its damaged tail and you know i love hiccup and toothless because they’re canonically disabled so i think that would be an AMAZING au to read or to write 🥰🥰

sidebar but i’m also forever grateful for the alien bea au because i wanted to read something like that so bad ever since i read Axiom’s End (what a book what a book what a-) and then it was just!!! there. and there’s a goat in that fic called daisychain 🥹 and its the BEST goat so ha!

6. what’s one fact about the universe of pjo au that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

because it’s not finished there a bunch of stuff i can’t WAIT to mention i have so many ideas for it and details and scenes i can’t wait to share. but.. sadly writer’s block is killing me (plus thesis 😔) right now so i’m chipping away at it

but!!! i would have really liked to actually write the scene where ava first steps into the ocean. in the same spirit as the infamous beach run scene from s1 of warrior nun

i just think it would have been,,, so beautiful. obviously we get her and chanel in that early scene. ava getting to just barely be in the ocean, but oooo there’s something so different about ava getting to step into it and feel her body fully for the first time in a long time. that would have been i think just so much fun to write. i might still do a flashback to it but… nothing beats the narrative going there on its own you know?

18. if you wrote a sequel to orbital mechanics what would it involve?

oh! well i have ideas actually for a few more chapters of orbital mechanics, especially after playing a lot of Jedi: Survivor and the.. very very intriguing possibilities that raised.

i think it would actually be amazing to take the orbital mechanics iterations of my girls and put them in situations. imagine the clumsy familiar tendinous way they’d fight, how absolutely batshit lilith and ava would go (together) if… say… bea was captured.

plus i want to explore long term chronic pain with bea - maybe the idea of replacing the horrid black wires in her arm with a gentler kind, or bea thinking about amputation which is you know a valid approach and the her choice of it really compels me.

so!! yea h! i am trapped in want to write too many things land 😭😭🥹

[afoolandathief]

Hi tealeaf

It's blorbsday! How tired are your ocs? Are any of them insomniacs? Do they ever get eight hours of sleep? (In this economy? In any economy?) Have they been Questing and therefore are rather bedraggled? Tell me.

[ID: An image of The Umbrella Academy car meme, showing Viktor from The Umbrella Academy driving in a car only to see his brother Five drive past in a different car. Text over Viktor says "Caz Going to Bed at 9AM"; text over Five says "Jade Still Awake After Pulling An All-Nighter." End ID.]

In this economy? In THIS economy?

No, Jade gets very little sleep because she is terrorized by visions of the world ending or she stays up working on her thesis. Caz loves sleep (it's the closest thing he'll ever get to death!) but given his nocturnal nature he and his insomniac witch's schedules often line up.

As far as the characters of Those Horrid, Horrid Things, Loki's got some issues as well. And their beloved partners have to put up with, well, sleeping with Loki.

“Here. Use this as a sleep diary,” she said. “A couple websites said it could help to track your sleep patterns.” “I’m not keeping a sleep diary!” Loki said. Angrboda snorted. “I’d like to see that, actually,” she said. “Just imagine, ‘11:15 p.m.: stabbed Angrboda with my toenails; 12:45 a.m.: snored so loud I woke myself up.’”

[a-student-out-of-time]

Review Anon's outline for 2023

Hello people and welcome to 2023! We are now in our 4th year of this blog and my 3rd year being here, crazy to think it’s been this long, eh? Seeing as it’s the start of the new year, I thought this would be a good time to discuss what my plans right now are for this year regarding my projects.

The first thing is of course when All Eyes on Me finishes, to do a review on that. I thought long and hard how I was gonna tackle this arc, as this was a rather unique challenge for me, not just because it’s a musical arc. You will see what I’m talking about when the arc finishes and I do my reviews on. But rest assured that despite what I was thinking at the start of this arc, I am NOT skipping a review of this arc.

Speaking of All Eyes on Me, let’s address the elephant in the room; The Nijiue Spoof Arc. What’s happening to it and have I cancelled it? Short answer: No, it’s not cancelled. The long answer is that I’ve already thought about how the arc was gonna unfold, but I was concerned that All Eyes on Me was gonna lean too similar to it, so accusations of plagiarism would run rampant. Therefore, I was holding ground to make sure my idea was different enough. And good news everyone, it is! Obviously, the siblings are COMPLETELY different in the Spoof Arc but even Ayato and Emina are quite different in the Spoof Arc then they are in All Eyes on Me. But even when All Eyes on Me is finished and I do my review on it, I WON’T jump straight into doing the Spoof Arc right away. That’s because I have something else that I promised people I would do after All Eyes on Me Arc Review, but once I done and published THAT then I will work to finish the Spoof Arc and its release date will be 1st April 2023! The reason I’m doing it straight after the second thing is last year; I ran into the double whammy issue of creator’s block and various other projects cropping up around that time, so this year I want to nip that issue in the bud. It also means if I’m in the middle of doing it and suddenly either the Banker Arc or whatever arc we are on finishes, I’m not caught off guard.

So, what IS this second thing that comes after the All Eyes on Me Arc Review but before the Nijiue Spoof Arc? Why it’s my 3rd character analysis; Chiaki Nanami! This is gonna be a fairly big analysis as Chiaki is the deuteragonist of this blog so there’s a LOT of material to cover, even more then with Hibiki and Nikei before her. Since I knew All Eyes on Me was gonna be a major arc for Chiaki, I wanted that Arc to finish before I do Chiaki’s analysis.

Once Chiaki’s analysis is done and dusted, the final character analysis I want to get done before Season 2 finishes is Kyoji’s. Now the question is, when do I do his? Initially I was thinking of doing it for the Despair Strikes Back Arc but I have a horrid feeling it’s gonna be the Season 2 Finale Arc, and I already got a TON on my plate when that happens (Obvious Review for the Final arc, Season 3 predictions, the BIG CHUNGUS Season 2 Retrospective and updating all character analysis to include all Season 2 content) Thankfully there IS a upcoming arc which Kyoji is gonna have a major role in which I feel confident that releasing his character analysis for; Dianthus Memory. AKA the Tsumugi Downfall Arc. Once V3 is erased from the timeline and I do my review on it, Kyoji’s character analysis will come out then. The Mod might try and say wait until Season 2 finishes but if I do, it will never get done.

So, TL; DR version, here is the release schedule coming up.

All Eyes on Me Arc Review: Literally be the first thing I do this year.

(And chances are this will be on the larger side of my arc word count. How ironic that the arc which debates Sayaka in a prominent way gets a lengthy review. At least none of my standalone works have reached the word count of the Sayaka Thesis…yet.)

ASOOT Chiaki Character Analysis: Will be released after All Eyes on Me Arc Review

(Regarding the Banker Arc, obviously the Chiaki Analysis will be released beforehand but if it takes too long and the Banker Arc finishes before its released, the Character Analysis will take priority)

Nijiue Spoof Arc: Restart writing it once ASOOT Chiaki Character Analysis is released, scheduled release to 1st April 2023.

(Since ideally all writing for this would be done February-March time, it will be released on 1st April regardless what is going on that time.)

ASOOT Kyoji Character Analysis: Will be released after Dianthus Memory Arc Review

(I will LITERALLY only change this if Despair Strikes Back is NOT the Season 2 Finale. Kyoji is probably the worst of all the characters to schedule when his analysis should come out in this regard)

[REDACTED]: Will be released during Season 2, but not when anything else is going on.

(And what’s this? Something I’ve been quietly working on for a while…which is gonna be temporary not worked on since I have other pressing projects but if I find myself with downtime, like I’ve finished writing the Nijiue Spoof Arc but we aren’t in Dianthus Memory, or I’ve done the Kyoji Analysis already, I will be working on this. And trust me guys…you are gonna LOVE this.)

And of course, reviews will come out when said arcs finish. You know the drill. That’s all from me, just to give you guys an update on what to expect for this year though this more like a Q1 report then anything. Either way see you around! - Review Anon

//I look forward to seeing all these works in the coming year ^^

[anouri]

hey! im kinda into marauders but i don't interact with a lot of the fandom besides reading fics--if you're comfortable, could you elaborate about whatever unnecessary hate writers have been receiving? /nf np

hey anon! firstly, i recently reblogged (tagged under 'to reference' but it's right before me answering this ask too) an entire masters thesis that is highly relevant and likely more articulate than i could ever explain this topic. i've only gotten the chance to skim it, but it seems like a good jumping off point for discussing this topic.

secondly, i am very much not an authority on this. i've thankfully not been subject to the hate that others have, so none of this is firsthand accounts, i've only been witnessing this happen to other people

thirdly, other people have articulated similar topics prior to this, some of which have been firsthand victims to the hate. i'm not going to point them out or tag them directly on this post because i don't feel comfortable just sending an anon that may potentially be hostile toward them (of course, you seem lovely and asked your question very nicely, i just like to err on the side of caution), but if you are truly curious you can put the effort into scrolling back on my page and you'll likely see that i've reblogged some of these takes

ok. so after i said all of that, this is what i personally have gathered: readers of fics have essentially been harassing writers for a whole myriad of reasons, but the primary one i've seen crop up is that the reader doesn't like something that the writer included in their fic, whether it be a ship or the subject matter of the fic. the thing is, in these instances that i've seen, the fics have been properly tagged most, if not all, of the time, meaning that the reader went into the experience knowing it would take place. for example, readers clicking on a fic tagged 'Angst', then complaining that it is too angsty. or clicking on a 'Dead Dove: Do Not Eat' fic with 'Murder' tagged and the Graphic Violence archive warning, then harass the writer for including such horrific violent acts in their fics. which is madness. this is reaction seems to be particularly popular with fics that revolve around subject matters that one might see as morally reprehensible in real life

essentially, it comes down to people not wanting negative experiences or morally reprehensible things to be depicted in fics; they see that this is being written about, and they attack the author for being a horrible person and for condoning these things. i'm sure this thought process derives from a multitude of things, but it's absolutely puritanical. fiction is meant to depict the entire range of the human condition, including the horrid. if you (general you, not you, anon) don't want to read about these things, then you can exclude these tags from your fic search.

but the thing is, this isn't just people reading something and attacking. it seems to me as though people will see a tag or relationship they don't like and attack the author based on those, even without reading the fic.

which is why i think that everyone needs to repeat to themselves "depiction =/= endorsement" until they can get it through their skulls. people who are attacking fic writers for depicting something, and therefore being horrible people for 'agreeing' with that thing only serves to show how this generation's ability to separate underlying narrative and the obvious plot is feeble at best. horror movie directors aren't being targeted because they've depicted something horrid, no one is telling off the writers of american horror story for having lady gaga and matt bomer murder a slew of people and drink their blood in a weird orgy thing, but we're going to attack fic writers for similar (sometimes even more innocuous) things?? make it make sense.

their line of thinking reminds me of how there are some books banned in more conservative schools in the united states, simply for their political nature or for depicting homosexuality or 'untraditional' relationships. it's just-- i don't understand why they think censoring is a good thing. we don't need censorship, because censorship can always be turned around to yanking away depictions of things that are truly morally neutral (queer relationships, for example) simply because a small subset of the population believes it to be reprehensible

there's also the whole drama of the complicated nature of having underage characters (often in canon-compliant marauders fics, i think) having sex and/or age gap relationships, and people being riled up about that. i really don't feel like getting into it, but i'll just say this: we don't see people chiding tv shows for depicting teens having sex, so i don't know where this double standard has come from (it's funny bc i think the people attacking are probably fans of call me by your name. i need them to think about that for longer than 10 seconds)

in the end, none of this should matter anyway, because fic writers should be writing the fics for themselves not for the readers to consume. but the readers that are perpetuating this hatred don't seem capable of understanding that this is the case

and now i'm realising how much i've word vomited. sorry anon, you unlocked the floodgates on accident. but i hope this explained at least some of it, from my perspective. other people will likely have different perspectives on the subject as a whole

[goremannull]

Excerpt from ‘Mellification Eternal’

“But it is impossible to find just by looking deep inside yourself. As the soul is inter connected with the flesh of our body fogs the third eye. So to see the imprint of God we would need to separate the body from the soul. But this is hard to do to the self so we must capture the soul of another and then view it from there.

I believe that a method of doing this has already been discovered: the mellified man. An ancient Arabian process of mummification involving sacrifice. The only issue is this variation of the process focuses on the flesh not the soul. It cures damages to the body. But by adding the alchemical compound: [ILLEGIBLE] it focuses on the preservation of the soul. We can then use this solution to reach enlightenment."

Our founder, Aldous Henwick's founding thesis 1764.

These are the words that lead us to enlightenment. Two years later Aldous shed his mortal shell and became enlightened.

Our understanding of the mellication process dictates that you should add the chemicals to the honey before mummification for the best results. Though adding the chemicals post mellification the results will be less efficient and may prove toxic.

The process works as the chemicals in the honey change the crystallization process so that the structure changes to capture the soul instead of the flesh. The consumption of this substance will open the third eye because the soul in the honey will enter your mind and you can easily view it and it will reflect your own. Knowing what your own soul contains helps sharpen the third eye.

The modern mellified man does still involve the self sacrifice that the ancient variation did. Though instead of dying of malnutrition, we take a solution of the chemicals which places you in a deep near endless sleep. The mummification in the honey will then separate the soul from flesh killing the body but the soul will live on. We are certain that this process will help the sacrifice reach enlightenment too.

As for me I have been elected to stay behind to bring others to God for what can a religion become without a prophet. I hope in doing this I too will reach enlightenment.

Excerpt from the diary of Aldous Henwick

6th October 1766 : I have got it. The honey of enlightenment, the food of the Gods. While it is impure by using my alchemical skills I can make it show me God. I have ⁸obtained two months' supply. it may have cost a small fortune but it will all be worth it.

8th October 1766: Two days I have been taking it. I have experienced no effects. The taste though the taste it is curious. The mouth is filled with good and evil. The glorious taste of honey is vilified by the flesh of the poor soul that sullied this honey. Nevertheless I shall persist, no one ever said gaining enlightenment would be painless.

13th October 1766: Oh joy! Only one week in and the treatment is working. I'm thinking on a higher plane. My third eye must be opening.

18th October 1766: My eyes have now adjusted to my enlightened mind. I now see what lesser ones can't. I saw my late great uncle at breakfast today, and made a servant fetch him some food. Despite his objection that no-one else was at the table. I do also believe that I saw an angle. It did not say a thing but its look told me all I needed to know.

19th October 1766: I have discovered these ghastly figures that lurk within my abode. I can't believe that I could not see them before and now I'm disgusted that I could even live in the same house as those beasts. They are so strange, they take a human shape but are pure black and all of them are in some way deformed. One I saw with an extremely stretched and twisted next . Another had one elongated arm and one swollen bulbous arm. Yet another had two heads which were horrifically fused together. I've only seen them at the end of corridors in my home. I pray I'm never near them.

25th October 1766: one of those horrid beasts charged me, in my own home! I heard it rambling and crying. When I went towards it. It charged me. I can't even forget those terrible seconds out of my head. How I wish I couldn't see clearly? Those cursed bloodstained eyes. Worse still its jaws, its jaws. They were like Satan's very own. They were crooked, some chipped but all rotten and razor sharp. I pray for my protection.

31st October 1766: The beasts hound me. I've had to lock myself in my bed chamber. They charge me in the corridors and hunt me in my home. Even still they taunt me from the other side of my door. The beasts scream my name. Even in this stronghold if I look away from the corners I risk inviting those wretches in. Is this a test or a punishment from God? I will try to hold on but I fear I may not reach the end.

2nd November 1766: Am I a fool or Am I a martyr. Either way I shall see God. [More is written but it's illegible].

Newspaper excerpt titled dated 1766:

The Curious Death of Aldous Henwick

On the 6th of November local aristocrat Aldous Henwick was found dead in his bed chamber under exceedingly strange circumstances. Firstly, he seemed to have died of malnutrition despite their being in his own well stocked manor. When servants were questioned about this, one replied,"He had locked himself in his quarters with no food nor drink except that damn honey for five days straight. Any time I check on him, he would scream back to leave him in peace."

That conveniently brings me to the second point Henwick seemed to have frequently been consuming honey which when inspected further contained some amounts of a toxic chemical, another possible cause of death.

My third point, a coroner inspecting the body claimed to have seen claw marks all across the body. Though all called to check didn't claim to see any. This however is most likely the hallucinations of an old feeble mind.

The most interesting point I have seen is the will. Which amongst other details emphasizes that 'Aldous Henwick should be mummified in honey.' This ludicrous demand has stumped the undertakers. Though if it is to go through it has been estimated that shall bring Henwick's estate into bankruptcy.

[kikyan]

Secrets

Yandere Light Yagami x Reader 

TW: Yandere, Mentions, and depictions of Sexual Assault towards the Reader, 

I do not condone these actions in real life and this is purely fictional and should be taken as fiction. 

Check at the end for the yandere discord link if you’re interested in joining! 

A loud gasp left [Reader], eyes wide and sweat covering their body in fright. Same shit, different day. Another nightmare and one that no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t run away. Sitting up in their bed, they held their head with their hands. Rubbing their eyes slightly to get accustomed to their surroundings. Turning their head slightly, they were met with their alarm clock that read ‘4:39’. 

‘Shit…’ 

It was too early to wake up but they couldn’t go back to sleep no matter how hard they tried. They looked over to their desk to see their homework from last night. It was an essay about the justice system and morals/ethics that was based on a book they were reading in class. It wasn’t completed just yet because [Reader] lost the motivation to write it, but since they were awake they might put their extra time to some use. Walking over to their desk, they reached for the chair before stopping. 

‘ I should get a drink of water…’ 

[Reader] quietly left their room, making sure not to disturb their mother who was surely sleeping in. As they went to the kitchen, they reached for a cup of water and gulped it down in one go. Rubbing their throat to soothe an ache, they went for another cup but took it upstairs. Sitting at their desk and looking over to obtain a pencil, scanning the contents of the assignment, requirements, and what was already written. It wasn’t a lot, just their name and date. Starting with a small thesis that highlighted their main points, they scoffed before looking out their window. It was pitch dark but what they were trying to see wasn’t anything in particular, except for the home that was next to them. It was abandoned and no one was inhabiting it at the moment, but there were so many memories that rest in the very pavement that makes up the home. 

Glaring at the house and with a scoff, determination raged inside them as they looked over to their paper. They knew what to write, they knew the feelings they wanted to convey, they knew what justice they wanted at that moment, ethical or not. By the time they finished, it was almost time to get ready so [Reader] ensured that their paper was safely stored away before going about their morning routine to prepare for school. As they finished and were about to head off, they stopped right in front of the house next to them. It was pretty, but beauty isn’t judged from the outside but the inside, the only sad thing is that inside it was like the core of a rotten apple. Inside was horrid and distasteful, but that was downplaying what really transpired in that house. Whereas the outside of the apple was certainly more appealing and so was the house as if it weren’t untouched by time itself. [Reader] bit their lip before turning away from the house, it was best forgotten right now. Making their way to class, they sat down in their assigned seat waiting for the teacher. Looking to the side staring into space, they didn’t notice that someone took his seat next to them, none other than Light Yagami. It wasn’t until they turned to look at their peers did they notice him next to them reading a book. Light looked up and turned to face them, a small smile before saying ‘Good morning’. [Reader] nodded and returned the greeting, before facing the other way, until his voice woke them from his trance. 

“ Are you alright [Reader]? You seem awfully quiet.” 

“ Just tired, what about you?” 

“ Same old. Did you have any trouble with the assignment?” 

[Reader] was quiet for a second, Light reading into it but [Reader] noticed and quickly replied with a ‘No, not really.’ 

“ I see, did you write about anything particular?” 

“ W-!” 

“ Good morning class, I’ll be taking attendance now so please settle down in your assigned seat.” 

[Reader] mentally thanked the teacher for making it in the nick of time. Light Yagami, was an exceptional student no doubt, taking both regular and additional classes yet still managing to get his assignments all turned in on time. He was often paired with [Reader] for group or partnered assignments so they developed a bit of an acquaintance. Friends maybe but anything else would be over-stretching it. They were left pondering his question, yeah they were a bit close but not that much, was there a specific reason for him asking them questions? 

‘ No I’m just reading into it too much, it must be with the cases that are arising with these so-called criminals dropping dead. Maybe he wanted to know if what I was writing was directed towards that? Even then, what interest does he have with that-?’ 

A soft nudge on their arm woke them up, turning to look at Light in confusion. 

“[Reader’s Full Name]”. 

“ Here.” 

The teacher went off to call more names, [Reader] turned to look at Light who just smiled in return. 

“ Sorry, the teacher was nearing your name and you seemed out of it, thought I would get you back.” 

“ O-oh, thank you I guess…” 

That was the end of the conversation, Light facing the class and paying attention with [Reader] trying to do the same but their mind was clouded with both this morning and Light. 

‘ What was that about….?’ 

It wasn’t until the end of class where the teacher offered to collect the papers but was called to attend an emergency. 

“ Class representative, do me a favor and collect the papers and drop them off at my office. Excuse me.” 

With that, the teacher was gone and the representative gathered the class’s attention. They began to pass up their paper and the bell for dismissal rang. Everyone proceeded to head out, groups forming and discussing after-school activities such as the arcade or a sweets shop. [Reader] packed their bags and proceeded to walk towards the entrance until Light stopped them. 

“ [Reader]! Would you like to walk home together, I don’t have cram school to-!?” 

“ Yagami! I was wondering if you wanted to help me deliver these papers to the teacher’s office?” 

[Reader] saw this as a chance to deny his offer, “ Sorry Light, but maybe some other time?” 

“ Sure.” 

Light walked with the class representative and headed to the teacher’s office. The representative attempted to make an idle chat with Light, but he wasn’t interested. He replied softly and short, the walk there was awkward but it was even more when the teacher wasn’t present in their office. 

“ I-ll goes and try to find them, are you okay with staying here until then?” 

“ Of course.” 

When the representative left, Light averted his gaze to the papers and lightly skimmed the names until he got to the one he wanted to read upon. 

‘ [Reader’s Full Name]’ 

He grabbed their paper and skimmed the content of the assignment, intrigued with their interpretation of the justice system. While his ideas clashed a bit with theirs, he was understanding of their origin. No matter, he would just have to fix that, change it, he just had to show them how the world truly is and how better it would be without those fears. Upon further reading, he began to see how they agreed with Kira in terms of punishment for the criminals. There was more but this was certainly interesting to find more of their thinking pattern, was it possible that Light had found someone worthy of sharing his ideals? 

He contemplated keeping their paper but he realized that if he took it [Reader] would probably get missing in their assignment. The teacher came into the room and thanked the representative and Light for helping them. They both excused themselves and Light proceeded to walk away, his thoughts on [Reader]. 

‘ You seem awfully interested in that other human. By any chance could it be that you’re willing to let them know about the death note?’ 

Light closed his eyes and avoided speaking, he still was in the city and not closer to the streets by the houses that were a bit more secluded. 

‘ Hey, Light!’ 

“ How many times have I told you Ryuk, talking to me when we are in public is risky and as a matter of fact I may.” 

‘ You think us talking is risky, isn’t letting that other human know riskier?’

“ Yes, sharing information about the Death Note is more than risky, but it may be better to have more than two people knowing about it. If our views match up they can be both a great partner and a good alibi when people start suspecting me. If our views don’t match up, then I’ll simply have their memories erased.” 

‘You’re going to let them touch the Death Note too?’

“ In life, you have several people, those who have to see to believe or those who will place their faith blindly in some people. [Reader] doesn’t strike me as the latter so I’ll go with the first one. Besides, if I told them and they did turn, erasing their memories would be a bit more work and risky.” 

‘Okay but why them?’

“ Because…[Reader] is someone who you can either bring up or break down. [Reader] is someone who won’t throw a hysteria when faced with the unknown and based on this essay I suspect that there is more to them than what they lead on. That is an advantage over them, but if they step wrong it could also be their downfall. Besides, I’ve always enjoyed my conversations with [Reader], they say so little but so loudly at the same time. Quite interesting.” 

‘Light has a crush on someone!’

“ I won’t waste my time on such things, right now I can’t afford to fall for that. My priority is reshaping and rebuilding this world as their new God.” 

The conversation was cut short as Light went inside his home and up to his room. He examined the essay through many viewpoints and established that there must have been someone that they hated or wanted to receive punishment, but who? 

~~ 

[Reader] walked to their room and with a heavy sigh collapsed on their bed. Their mother was nowhere to be seen but they were probably out shopping as groceries were lying about in their kitchen. They rested for a while before heading downstairs to put the groceries away, the T.V playing in the background. It wasn’t anything serious until the news segment was announced. 

‘ Breaking news! It is rumored to believe that [Inmate Name] may be released this upcoming week for good behavior. It seems that there have been sever-’ 

Silence. The T.V was turned off as [Reader] began panicking and hyperventilating. Memories of that morning began rushing to their head and their body began to enter into an automatic response, their knees weak but adrenaline was pumping. There was no one around them to assist them so they began to assess the situation themselves. Their heart was racing but it wasn’t anything too serious, just a panic attack and not a heart attack. They tried to steady their breathing by counting and focusing their attention on an object of some sort. They turned to a small painting of a floral garden that their mother had on the wall, they began to engrave all their focus on it trying to steady their breathing. Slowly but surely they began to calm down, but the uneasiness was still there. After a while, they grabbed a glass of water and calmly began to drink the water. The groceries were almost all put away but [Reader] left the non-perishables out as they went up to their room and began to lie on the bed. Sleep slowly overcame them, their dreams turned into nightmares. 

~ 

It was a hot summer, but the kids were out and still playing out by the park. [Reader] and some neighboring kids were out and about playing tag. 

“ I want to be it!” 

“ No! You were it last time!” 

“ How about we play rock-paper-scissors to determine who is it?” 

“ Fine!” 

“ ROCK! PAPER! SCISSORS!” 

“ Aw darn it I lost!”

“ And I didn’t win this time either!” 

“ Well, the rest of you hide and I’ll go count.” 

“Okay!” 

The kids scattered and began hiding in some spots, [Reader] struggled to find a spot that wasn’t already claimed by the other kids. Those were all her spots that guaranteed her success, but the other kids took them. [Reader] asked if they could hide with the other kids but they all shushed them away. 

[Reader] was running out of time until they heard a voice. 

“ Hey [Reader] are you playing hide-n-go-seek?” 

“ Y-yeah. . .” 

“ Here, why don’t you hide behind me?” 

A man with a warm smile offered, the man wasn’t a stranger at all to [Reader] or their family since he was their father’s co-worker and best friend. 

“ Okay!” 

They were hiding and they were doing a pretty good job, they weren’t at all found until they all decided to call off the game. 

“ We can’t find [Reader]! Where are they?” 

“ [Reader]! You win so just come out!” 

“[Reader]!!” 

[Reader] popped out from where the stranger was and laughed, “ So I win again!” 

“ Where were you? We were so worried!” 

“ I was hiding behind him!” 

[Reader] pointed at the man on the bench, he waved softly. The kids felt a bit uneasy but their mothers came to collect the kids. [Reader]’s mom showed up to collect her but stopped when she saw the man. She smiled and waved at him. 

“ What are you doing out here?”

“ Oh, miss [Last Name]. I was going grocery shopping when I spotted [Reader] playing. Hope I didn’t interrupt or do something wrong.” 

“ No that’s quite alright, I was just surprised. Though it’s a bit late for groceries.” 

“ Yes work caught up with me but I’d figured I go get something to make my dinner tonight-!?” 

“ Why don’t you come to eat with us? My husband isn’t staying overnight at work so he should be home soon. In the meantime, you can help me with dinner or hang around the house? It should be fine.” 

“ I don’t mean to impose on you-” 

“ Please I insist, it must be so hard for a single man to balance everything. You have friends so I suggest that you start learning how to say yes and let yourself be taken care of one in a while!” 

“ T-thank you [Mom’s first name].” 

With that, small chatter filled their home as they prepared dinner. [Reader] was playing with their toys and even invited their family friend to join them. When their father arrived home, they sat around and ate dinner. They all had a pleasant time, laughing and smiling. Telling jokes and even discussing life and the future. It wasn’t until it was a bit too late and past [Reader’s] bedtime did he leave and give his thanks for having him over. [Reader] lay in their bed, their mother tucking them in and bidding them a good night’s rest. 

“ Mom, does [Family Friend] have kids or a wife?” 

“ Why the sudden question?” 

“ He looks lonely and I don’t see him with kids.” 

“ [Reader], he had a wife and two kids. It’s just, they are no longer here. They left.” 

“ Where did they go?” 

“ They went somewhere better. Now sleep [Reader].” 

“Okay mommy.” 

The days continued like nothing else, there would be times where the [Reader] would be taken care of by [Family Friend] because their mother had a doctor’s appointment and their father was at work. [Reader] stayed at his house, eating small snacks that he prepared for her as he sat on the couch just staring at her. 

“ Hey [Family Friend], do you have a wife or kids?” 

Silence loomed the room before he turned to face her and shook his head. 

“ Not anymore [Reader], they all left me.” 

“ Why? You’re not a bad person.” 

“ Thank you, but they didn’t leave like that. Something happened to them and they are no longer here with us, but enough of that, what do you want to do?” 

“ Hm, let’s play a game.” 

“ Okay, a game it is!” 

It was days like these that the faith one had in another human was shown. Back then people slept with their windows open and some even with the doors unlocked, but that faith was stolen from [Reader]. It was a day where both her parents were busy so their neighbor was in charge of taking care of her for a couple of hours. Nobody knows how or why it happened, but nightmares plague that home as a grim reminder that the ones we trust are just another wolf in sheep's clothing. 

“ Hey, [Reader]?” 

“ Yes?” 

“ I want to play a game. . . but it has to be a secret.” 

“ A secret?” 

“ Mhm, not many people know about this game so this can be our little secret, like a secret code.” 

“ Okay, but what’s the game?” 

“Well. . .” 

His hand lay on her shoulder, rubbing it softly before his other hand rested on his thigh, he rubbed it lightly causing her to flinch before he let go. 

“ [Reader], you know I would never hurt you. . .right?” 

“ Yeah. . .” 

“ This isn’t hurting you, I only want to play a game. It’ll be fun for the both of us I promise, I don’t want to hurt you. . . I love you. . .” 

His hand placement resumed as he went higher and lower. That was when the nightmare began, and it didn’t end for seven years. 

~~ 

[Reader] awoke with a loud gasp, their hands instantly reaching to their body. No one was here in their room, they had to reassure themselves over and over again before reaching over to where their clock lay. It was almost 8 pm but they decided upon bathing before doing anything else. They went to the bathroom and proceeded to bathe, using the products they deemed necessary. Once they were done, they wore comforting clothes and went to bed. Though it was hard to fall asleep in fear of that dream. 

The next day they awoke earlier than usual, going on about their day and proceeding to do their morning routine. They began walking to school promptly and proceeded to go to their seat. Light walked in moments later and took his seat next to them, smiling and greeting them. The teacher soon walked in and class started all over again, nothing new was changing so why should they worry-

“ [Reader’s Last Name], see me after class.” 

[Reader] looked up and panicked slightly, was it about what they wrote? 

‘ It can’t be, I mean this class is crawling with Kira supporters and those who don’t, mine must have been the least controversial-’ 

“ [Reader], is everything okay?” 

“ Y-yeah. . .” 

At the end of class, [Reader] walked to their teacher’s office and waited patiently for them. Thoughts running through their head, am I going to get called out? What’s going to happen, will everyone know wh-!

“  [Reader’s Last Name], I want to discuss with you something regarding your essay submission.” 

‘Shit so it was about that! Fuck what do I say-’ 

“ You didn’t turn it in.” 

‘Huh?’ 

“ W-what do you mean?” 

“ It was not in the pile with the others, since this isn’t a rare occasion but I remember slightly. You pulled it from your bag so I’m assuming that either the class representative lost it or it was misplaced. Would you mind rewriting it? I’ll give you an extension on it of course, but I would like it submitted by the end of next week.” 

“ S-sure.” 

“ That is all, have a great rest of your day [Reader’s Last Name].” 

They nodded and proceeded to walk away, but anger laced their face the moment they were out of view. 

‘ You’ve got to be kidding me, lost? That’s not my fault, if anything I shouldn’t have to rewrite. If they saw me, they should give me full credit!’ 

“ [Reader], would you like to walk home?” 

They looked up to see that it was Light Yagami. They were a bit hesitant and were about to say no until they realized that it might be nice to distract their mind. 

“ Sure.” 

They began to walk home, but awkward silence loomed over them. 

“ If you don’t mind me asking, what did the teacher want to talk to you about?” 

“ Just that. . . my assignment was missing and I have to redo it.  I turned it in but it’s lost apparently, did you notice the paper was missing or if the rep lost it?” 

“ No sorry, but I can help you work on it if you’d like.” 

“ Thank you, I might take you up on that.” 

“ Well we’ve arrived at my home, why don’t you come in?” 

“ I shouldn’t impose-” 

“ Nonsense, any friend of Light is welcomed here!” 

They both turned around to face an older woman, one that held some resemblance to Light and was assumed as his mother. 

“ O-oh I should-” 

“ Please I insist!” 

With that, it was decided that [Reader] would stay over and have dinner with them. In the meantime, they were up in Light’s room preparing to do the assignment. Once they got settled down and his mother brought up snacks, did the real purpose of his invite begin. Halfway through discussing the thesis and beginning, did Light begin to ask strange questions? 

“ [Reader], how do you feel about Kira?”

“ Why?” 

“ No reason, I guess it’s all the publicity Kira has been getting that I assume you may have your own opinion.” 

“ Well. . .Kira punishes criminals so without a doubt yes, I guess you can say that I'm somewhat thankful that Kira is there. However, there are some flaws with that, let’s say petty crime and theft aren’t punishable by death, Kira would only be acting like an executioner, not a judge. Yet, I think that Kira is going about it the right way. The difference is that some people attempt to stop crime, you can’t stop what is happening because someone will always stand up or do something, but you can control crime.” 

Light remained quiet before speaking silently, “ What would you do if Kira were sitting in front of you?” 

“ What?” 

“ What would you do if Kira were sitting in front of you? What would you do if Kira was me, [Reader].” 

Silence overcame [Reader], thinking about their answer they spoke.

“ If you were Kira, I would question your methods and motives.” 

“ Hm, interesting. Would you really like to see how Kira kills?” 

“ What?” 

“ Normally talking about this out in the open to a stranger would be a bit risky, I wouldn’t by any means do this, that is if I were Kira. Yet, it seems that if I were Kira I could trust you based on what you wrote in your essay.” 

Light unfolded the essay that was in his pocket, showing it to [Reader]. They were a bit confused and in shock, why did Light have their essay, and what was he going on about? 

“ Why do you have my essay? I didn’t think that this would be interesting for someone like you Light.” 

“ Well, let’s say I’ve had an interest in you for a long time, ever since we met you could say. Unlike most of our peers not only were you more open-minded but you thought for yourself, not letting others blindly tell you what to think. Based on this essay, I can trust you. . .[Reader], I’m Kira.” 

Confusion stuck them, did they really want to humor him, but even then Light might have been Kira. He not only had the brains to be in hiding for so long, but his ideas were lined up a bit with most people. 

“ I’ll bite, are you really Kira?” 

“ I am, now would you like to know who I do it?” 

“ . .  .Sure.” 

[Reader] walked closer, watching as Light revealed a black notebook with the words ‘Death Note’ written on it. They were confused, to say the least, but they also knew better than to laugh it off and to let him explain. 

“ This is a death note, a notebook that allows me to write the name of an individual and they die. I can choose the method of death and time, the only other requirement aside from their full name is an image of their face.” 

Light stood there, with both a serious face yet a smirk lightly playing at his lips. Was this true? They were about to ask more questions until Light interrupted them, “ Upon reading your essay, I think that there is someone who you want gone. Here try it for yourself, touch the notebook.” 

[Reader] stiffened a bit before nodding, they hesitantly went to touch the notebook. If Light was Kira and was telling the truth, [Reader] instantly became an accessory to the crime, to make matters worse now that Light told them, based on their reaction they could either die or live. Upon touching the notebook, they were met with a horrid creature looking at them with bloodshot red eyes and a smirk on their lips. They looked anything but human and as [Reader] was about to react, they stopped. Light smiled at the sight, they were smart no doubt about it. 

‘ Screaming would alert the mom and who knows what that would cause. On one hand, I could tell his mom that I want to leave but I'll surely die by knowing his identity. If I tell his mom about her son being Kira I would be mocked at and made fun of, all I can do is play along for right now.’ 

“ Open the notebook, look at all the names. With this, we can rid the world of criminals and clean up the streets, isn’t it great?” 

“ Isn’t your father a policeman? Why would you-“ 

“ Because what they are doing isn’t enough, crimes inspire other crimes and it will never stop. By controlling crime with fear we can make the world a better place for kindhearted people like us. You can’t stop crime because it will always happen, but you can control it, that's what my father and the others do. They try to control it through the system, but the system is flawed. With this, we can control it better than they can. Here [Reader], write someone’s name, I know you want to.” 

[Reader] was given a name and the notebook was flipped to a blank piece of paper. Light was awaiting their actions as [Reader] looked uncomfortable at the concept. Who was to say that they could play judge and executioner? They were contemplating until the T.V was playing the news channel about [Inmate Name]. Their heart stopped and Light made note of that, he walked over to the T.V and turned up the volume. The sickening sound of his name being played over and over again was like knives or nails on the chalkboard. A horrid sound, the sound of the end, it was a grim reminder that their life was in someone’s hand. 

‘ [Inmate Name] will be released today at 4 PM, here we have the news studio wanting to interview him. This was the man that escaped the death penalty due to lack of evidence-‘ 

‘ lack of evidence?’ 

The room went cold, their heart sank. He was leaving jail, because of the lack of evidence? Their breath started to increase as tears ran down their cheeks, they rapidly shook their head in attempts to calm themselves and began counting. 

‘ aren’t I evidence enough? He abused me. . . I am the evidence. I am the walking and living proof of his crimes. .  ‘ 

‘ I love you [Reader]. .  .’ 

[Reader’s] heart stopped, his voice echoing in their head as the memories were replaying again tormenting them. 

‘ You know I’ll never hurt you right?’ 

‘ I love you [Reader]. . . ‘ 

‘ Let’s play a game. . .’ 

‘ This can be our secret, like a secret code only we know!’ 

‘This can be our secret. .  ‘ 

‘ This can be our secret’ 

‘ Our secret’ 

‘ I love you. .  .[Reader]’ 

With a heavy sob that slightly confused and alerted Light, [Reader] wrote his name with such haste, with handwriting that was barely legible handwriting and his face clouded their mind like a rainy day. Tears slipped from them as they wrote his method of death, one that they deemed he needed. His execution was set and upon million watching the T.V, [Inmates Name] died a horrible and gruesome death on national T.V. [Reader] stayed crying as they watched the T.V through teary eyes, Light holding them close rubbing their back. He smiled, this wasn’t such a bad plan after all. Through the sobs, he was surprised his mother didn’t come up, but unknown to him she was outside talking to some neighbors and his sister wasn’t home just yet. As they started to calm down slightly, Light provided soothing words of comfort before whispering, 

“ We can clean up these streets [Reader], don’t worry. .  .this can be our little secret.”

~~ 

I apologize to the anon that requested this because as you can see there is no NSFW and very little of what they wanted. I am prepared to write more to the story if needed just let me know as I would like to rewatch the series before continuing. I have also opened up a yandere discord server to interact and will be running it with other close friends and @seiyasabi. Please check their content because they are really good! 

DISCORD LINK: https://discord.gg/ZMCfGCeN 

[mamabear-elinor]

The Forging of Bitter Bonds

III. A Shining Light September 07, 1992; September 14, 1992

[cw for a small instance of ~~casual racism]

The first day of the semester at the University of Edinburgh was insignificant to most. The weather was average; overcast and cool, the wind sweeping in off the ocean and chilling the bone if one was not careful. Elinor found it invigorating as she walked over the uneven cobblestones through the stone corridor that led out onto the street in Old Town. She checked the map that the student’s union had passed out at orientation and then crossed the street and into the warm little pub. 

“Ellie!” A pretty, redheaded girl stood up in her seat and waved rambunctiously, garnering the attention of a few other patrons of the quaint pub. 

Quickly, Elinor headed toward the table and slipped into the seat across from her. “Goldie, crivvens, you’re going to get us kicked out.” 

“Oh, psh. It’s fine. I already made friends with ol’ Tommy.” She wiggled the whiskey in her hand. 

“You’re underage,” Elinor pointed out, torn between disapproving and impressed.

“That’s such a nice name, don’t you think?” Marigold DunBroch ignored her. 

Elinor turned and looked over her shoulder at the bartender, who was nothing to look at. Old and balding, with a red nose and a missing front tooth. “No,” she replied primly after her assessment.

Marigold made a face but just sat back in her seat. “How was it then? I don’t have class until tomorrow, thank God.” 

Finally, Elinor smiled. “Wonderful! My professor for Art History 101 is a woman, Professor Howell. She’s amazing. I want to be just like her.” 

“You got all that from one class?” Marigold curled her fingers in a wave at a strapping young lad a few tables away, not looking in her friend’s direction. 

“Have you ever heard of Artemisia?” 

“Bless you.”

“Hilarious. Listen.” Elinor tugged her friend’s arm. “She was this woman painter in the seventeenth century. She was the first woman to be a member of the Accademia di Arte del Disegno. I didn’t even know women were painters then! It’s only my first day and I’ve already learned so much. Oh, there was another one. I can’t remember her name, shoot.” 

Elinor dove for her notebook in her satchel, which was made from fine leather. Her father had given it to her as a gift. She pulled out her notebook and sat back up. 

There was a girl standing in front of their table. 

“Oh, hello,” Elinor said with a tight smile, her brow furrowed slightly. “Can I help you?” 

Marigold had turned her focus on the newcomer as well. 

“You’re in Professor Howell’s class.” Her accent was Scottish, but there was something strange about it. Elinor could not place it.  

“Yes?” Elinor had a feeling it was not a question. 

“Me too,” the girl smiled. “I’m Sorcha. Can I sit with you? All the other tables are full and it’s started raining.” 

Elinor glanced over her shoulder to the rain, then over at Marigold, who shrugged a little and moved her stuff over to make room. “Yeah, sure, sit. Please.”

“Fabulous.” Sorcha did not need telling twice. She plopped down in the spare seat as soon as the table was clear. Her gold jewelry glinted in the low light, almost too bright for the dim pub. There were raindrops in the tight curls of her black hair. They caught the light too, twinkling like stars. She reached up and shook out her hair. A few droplets fell onto the table. “Sorry. I forgot my scarf at home today. It wasn’t supposed to rain.”

“That--that’s alright,” Elinor said after a moment. 

Sorcha smiled at her. “You’re sweet. I didn’t get your names--?” 

“I’m Marigold DunBroch.” Marigold held out her hand. “And that’s Elinor Briar. We call her Ellie, though.” 

“No, no we don’t,” Elinor corrected, feeling the tips of her ears heat slightly. 

“No worries,” Sorcha said, leaning back in her chair and spreading her legs so that one of her knees bumped the table, making Elinor jump slightly. Her posture was horrid. It was alarming. “I like Elinor better. It’s pretty. Do you know what it means?” 

Elinor furrowed her brow, her eyes jumping up from Sorcha’s thigh which was encroaching into her space. “What? No, uh--I think it was my grandmother’s name or...something like that.” 

“Shame. You know, a name can tell a lot about a person.” 

“How’s that?” This was Marigold, her eyes sparking bright as she leaned forward slightly.

“Well, you were named after your grandmother or something?” Sorcha was still looking at Elinor, her dark eyes assessing. 

Elinor couldn’t quite meet her gaze. “Do Marigold,” she mumbled, but cleared her throat and laughed once. 

“Yes, tell me about my name.” 

“Alright.” Sorcha’s eyes lingered for another moment on Elinor and then turned to Marigold, who was sitting primly, shoulders back, and wide, dazzling smile. Ever since they had been young, Marigold commanded every conversation her and Elinor were in. They did not see each other often, but if anyone asked, Marigold DunBroch was Elinor’s best friend in the whole world. 

“Well, from what I know marigolds are used for Día de los muertos.” 

“What’s that?” Marigold asked, grinning like a loon now at the attention being lavished on her.

Outside, thunder rumbled and the rain began to come down more steadily against the window pane. Elinor realized she was still clutching her notebook. She wondered, if she just took a peak, if she would be able to remember the name of the artist they’d learned about in class. Maybe the artist had a name that meant something important. 

“It translates to the Day of the Dead. A day when the veil between worlds is thinnest and the deceased walk amongst the living.” 

Elinor shivered as if one of the cool raindrops from the windowpane had slipped down her spine. 

Marigold deflated slightly, her blue eyes a bit more cautious. “Oh. Well! Do Elinor’s. I bet it means something lame like--dark-haired. Her parents are so unoriginal.”

“I--don’t know, actually,” Sorcha admitted with a little shrug, but when she looked at Elinor again, she had the sense that Sorcha knew more than she was letting on. “At least you have a family name. That’s nice. To have a legacy like that.” 

“Yes, I suppose.” Elinor took a sip of her water. 

A legacy. That was certainly something her family had given her. Or, more accurately, placed on her shoulders without her consent. She felt it heavy now, her first day of classes behind her and now a countdown until her new first day of classes. Elinor had yet to tell Marigold that she would be transferring to Oxford. In fact, she had yet to tell her that she was no longer seeing Francis Smith. She didn’t want to think about any of that. She wanted to enjoy her semester. To learn what she could. The comment had brought her back down again, though, as she was reminded that this was not permanent. Professor Howell would not be her teacher next year. Nor even next semester. She couldn’t write her thesis with the woman. It was silly of Elinor to have even been thinking of it. 

“What does your name mean then, Sorcha?” Marigold asked, not sensing her friend’s withdrawal. She put an elbow on the table (unladylike.) 

“It means brightness,” Sorcha said and those dark eyes of hers sparked, her white teeth stark against the dark lipstick and her dark skin.

“I have an Aunt Sorcha and she is not bright at all.” Marigold laughed loud enough that she snorted. 

“I think you’re very bright,” Elinor blurted without thinking and then felt her ears burn.

The look that Sorcha fixed her with made Elinor’s stomach churn. She felt as if somehow Sorcha had looked right through her. Or, perhaps, more accurately, directly into her, like she could see Elinor’s soul. This time, though, Elinor couldn’t look away. Their eyes locked. 

Then, Sorcha’s face broke out into another grin. “Aw, thanks, sweetie pie,” she said, reaching out to squeeze Elinor’s forearm. Her nails were long and bright red. (Garish, Elinor’s mother said in her head. Only women of certain proclivities paint their nails bright like that, pale colours only or don’t paint your nails at all.) “You’re not so bad yourself.” She winked.

“Oh, uh--I just meant--”

“I know what you meant.” Sorcha patted her arm. “Now, what’s in that notebook? I saw you pulling it out when I came over.”

“I was just--we can talk about something else.”

“Well, how am I gonna say if I wanna talk about it or something else unless you tell me what it is?”

“It was just some artist she was trying to remember,” Marigold waved. “I’d much rather know more about you, Sorcha. Where are you from?” 

“Spain,” Sorcha replied offhand. She was still looking at Elinor. “What is the work from the artist? Was it one of the ones we were shown in class?”

“Spain? But you sound like a Scot!” Marigold said, looking like a dog with a bone. She was even more curious now.

“That’s because I grew up here. Now, what artist is it?” 

“It’s really--I can’t remember at this point,” Elinor said, leaning over to slide her notebook back into her bag. “It’s not important.” 

“You’ll just have to tell me next class. Looks like the rain has cleared, so I’m going to head out.” She stood up, the chair scraping behind her. 

Elinor blinked rapidly. “Oh, well. It was nice to meet you.” 

“You too.” She gave a little salute and then sauntered off.

“That was...odd,” Elinor commented, shifting in her seat slightly, crossing her ankles. 

“I liked her,” Marigold replied with a grin. 

→ → → 

The next week, after classes, as Elinor headed back out into the misty evening. Someone called her name.

“Elinor!” 

Turning, she saw Sorcha waving at her, then jogging down the steps to meet her. She had a bright yellow scarf tied around her thick hair this time. 

“Did you remember the artist?” 

“Oh, uhm, yes,” Elinor said as she began walking back toward her dorm. “It was Leonora Carrington.” It was a good thing the wind was brisk, for it hid the warmth of her cheeks. 

“You would totally like Carrington,” Sorcha agreed with a sage nod of her head.

“What? What is that supposed to mean?” 

“I just figured she’d be your style.” 

“How?” 

“I don’t know. Just a hunch.” 

They walked silently for a few steps. Elinor had assumed that Sorcha would peel off again, but instead she stayed right next to Elinor, her wide hips occasionally bumping Elinor’s own. 

“I looked up what my name means,” Elinor admitted after a few more moments. 

The smile Sorcha gave her made Elinor think that she had somehow known this too. “And?” Sorcha prompted. 

“Light of God, I suppose. There were a few other meanings but--”

“That was the one that stood out to you?” 

“No, I mean...that is probably what my parents intended anyhow.” 

“Who cares what they think? That’s not what I asked.” 

Elinor, if she was not so well-schooled in walking gracefully, might have tripped over a cobblestone. She clutched her books tight to her chest. Who cares what they think? What an absurd thing to say. 

“Well--it also means shining light or...the bright one.” Elinor’s heart felt like it was beating extremely fast for a casual, brisk autumn stroll across campus.

“We match!” Sorcha sounded extraordinarily pleased with herself. “That’s brilliant. Would you like to join my study group?” 

“Oh, I--” Elinor had a feeling saying no would be rude. She didn’t want to say no. Or...did she? There was a part of her that did. She was only going to be here for one semester. Gone before the snow melted and the spring bloomed again. Making friends had never been a priority for her anyway. She wanted to do well in school, so that her parents would give her freedom. If she failed, they would drag her back to the castle kicking and screaming. 

Education for women was a privilege, after all. 

“It’ll be fun, I promise.” 

“Very well,” Elinor agreed stiffly. 

“Perfect, we meet in classroom 124B on Wednesdays from 6pm to 7pm. I will see you there!” Abruptly, Sorcha turned on her heel and struck off straight across the quad. As she went, she removed the scarf from her head, allowing her hair to spring free, even though the rain had just begun in earnest. 

[fabien-euskadi]

I’ve been tagged by @portugue and, being so, I it’s time to do this.

about me:

- My name is Miguel. Actually, most people think my name is Fabien, but that is no more than a reference to the tragic hero of Saint-Exupéry's "Night Flight" (”Vol de Nuit” in the original).

- I'm... well, I feel like I'm 86, and I suspect that, very soon, I will be a hundred years old.

- I have a masters in History and Heritage. As some of you know, my thesis about the mysterious Twin Chapels of Tavira required a colossal amount of effort and dedication. It is almost a miracle that the thesis even exists, but it does - and it is finished.

- I am also graduated in Modern and Contemporary History.

- My next academic step is the doctorate. I am already working on the project for a new (possible) thesis.

- Somehow, I know that I will also end up taking an Archaeology degree - probably, another masters degree.

- One of my professors once took me to the first recent excavation of the lost roman town of Balsa, in the Algarve (southern Portugal). My knowledge in that area is not, by any means, huge... but it was absolutely awesome to be there. Seriously. You have no idea - a lost roman port-town. It is impossible to describe the feeling - I was there, where Balsa, one of the two civitas of the Algarve, once stood, and where its remains are still buried (most of them, at least).

- This trip to Balsa was very important for a saga I am working on. And I must work hard on that project as well.

- In the end, I know that Art History and Archaeological are just distractions. My goal is to become a writer.

my hobbies:

- That is how messed up my life became: I have no hobbies as such, other that reading a bit before sleep (or when I happen to be on a queue... and that doesn't happen frequently).

- When I have some time - and when depression doesn't put me down -, I also like to explore interesting places and photograph them (art historians use photography as a working tool).

- I have a soft spot for chapels and hermitages.

- When I need some inspiration, I also like to go for a very long walk on the beach. Sadly, that hasn't been possible for many, many reasons (including this horrid pandemic).

what I like talking about:

- I don't have specific topics, to be honest.

- And no, I am not just focused on History and Archaeology. My rage of interests is A LOT wider than that. History is just an academic subject, but I would have to be extremely narrow-minded to be focused exclusively on that.

- Anyone is always free to drop me a line.

(thank you)

[touchmycoat]

I LOVE YOUR PORN AU!!!!! LIKE SO MUCH - and i'm just. if you don't mind me asking, how - the way you flesh out the characters, their motivations, and feelings in every scene in such an eloquent way, and just little things here and there, a habit or an activity that adds dimension to who they are, and - your prose is wonderful. you achieve this addictive, engrossing narrative space that readers just absolutely melt into, and i have to ask - how did you develop your writing style? 1/2

what books did you read that formatively shaped the way you write? or you know, what did you do to improve your writing? i'm so in awe of how you world-built and established the porn au - like lqg & hc being national taolu champions?? how do you come up with that stuff? i cannot comprehend the amount of research and effort that must've gone into porn au, and i'm just so deeply thankful that you decided to share that with us. i apologize if i'm coming on too strong, but wow. thank you 2/2

--

oh my god please don't apologize, when i saw your ask i rolled on the floor giggling hysterically for a solid 15 min, bless your heart

part of the answer to your question—i've taken like, 8 years' worth of creative writing classes/workshops! there was also a transnational literary component to my degree so whenever possible, i took literature classes fksjdfksd so whatever you see and like is definitely the result of a lot of work. My writing from not even 10 years ago but like, 5? horrid, ridiculous, wild, cringe. The Porn AU itself is the second draft of a MUCH more lackluster piece.

about my writing style. gosh, you really know how to make a writer blush. "I like your writing style" is literally an instant kill LMFAO okay okay, the useful answer: my primary criteria for choosing what to write is, don't be obvious, be interesting. Fiction tells us to show, not tell, right? Poetry is about concretizing the abstract. Screenwriting says cut all useless lines. A lot of writing rules and advice—never start with the weather, avoid detailed descriptions of the characters, don't use adverbs, etc.—are all really about this exact sentiment.

I once took a seminar on writing for horror movies. The golden rule of the horror genre is Never Show the Monster, because whatever the audience is imagining is always going to be scarier than what you actually show them. There are obviously exceptions to this (to all writing rules), but in my mind, it's all the same principle.

LONG answer under the cut

So you start with building a scene. I approach it like essay-writing—I state my thesis for the motivations/main propulsion of the plot. "In this scene, LQG and SY are motivated to save Cang Qiong's porn production, so they have sex on camera." Then you build the sub-motivations: "LQG is also doing this because he's pining after SY."

I learned this "thesis-writing" from theater, specifically from writing 10-min plays. Theater is all about characters being driven by their wants and needs, and the reason I say 10-min plays in particular is because longer forms of writing will give you more leeway, but in 10-min, you pretty much need your character motivations established from their very first line. That's why you need that very clear thesis for yourself—if you don't even know what the character wants from the get-go, then you can't establish who they are, what they want, and where they're going to go in a dynamic and interesting way.

So this thesis drives EVERYTHING that happens in your scene, just like an actual thesis for an essay, just like topic sentences for your paragraphs. Once I do this, I have the emotional direction & narrative scope of how much this scene will cover, I have a sense of where it begins and ends. "Begin with the dynamics of their sex. LQG starts showing signs of his feelings. Reveal LQG backstory for exactly what those feelings are and why he isn't telling SY. The rest of the scene implies that LQG's feelings may not be so unrequited, but also sets up the fundamental problem at the heart of the whole fic—SY's inability to comprehend his own feelings." This is kind of my new thesis now. They're having sex; LQG pines; SY doesn't know he himself is pining.

Now it's time to manifest. This is the "storytelling" part, and the hardest lmfao.

Personally, my approach is largely shaped by my very cool screenwriting teacher, who hammered into us: don't fucking waste lines. The Golden Rule of screenwriting is that every line should reveal something new. I found my old writing kind of repetitive, especially on the emotional front, so this is kind of my editing mantra now—is this line either propelling the story or revealing character? If it's revealing character, is it a revelation that has to happen right now, or is it slowing the momentum of the scene?

But these aren't rhetorical questions! "Momentum" doesn't just mean tumble forward as fast as you can, it also means taking the time to draw the bowstring back further, so your next move has even more propulsion. That's why you get the little "LQG has been in love with SY..." cut scene in the middle of the fucking (at least, that's my reasoning for putting it there). Every line has to bring a fresh revelation that "proves" your thesis further.

That brings me to the details. You said you like the details I inject into the world-building, and honestly that's so gratifying to hear, because that means I'm successfully manifesting my intentions, y'know? "Every line has to bring new info" kind of sounds like a tall order, but the most effective way I've seen it done in books and onstage/onscreen is with these hyper-specific details. If you're writing a scene in which someone feels dirty, never have them just say that—have them say they want to take a shower. Show them running out of bleach again as they scrub down the stall after they wash. Begin the scene like "Steve always washes his throat first now." Then pack the scene with even more revelatory details: "Soap in hand, he heard the pipes above his head groan for a half note on adagio, and readied himself for the blast of icy water that always followed." Shitty shower, probably not rich, is likely a classical musician.

By the same token, I want to build LQG's character. The "Liu Qingge has been in love with Shen Yuan" section is the first insight we get into his background and perspective, right, so: I need to establish LQG's emotional context for filming this scene -> I can characterize him as a nut for martial arts in the same stroke -> so this takes place at a gym, beating up sandbags is a classic way of showing manly emotional distress -> so give me more details on this gym -> Puqi Gym, XL the martial god is obviously the owner -> how do I have XL & LQG a relationship beyond gym owner & client? They spar together -> I want XL & HC's position in this AU to mirror their god/ghost king statuses in TGCF canon -> how can I concretize their fighting prowesses in real-world details? -> they're martial arts champions -> what's an actual competitive martial art form that involves weaponry? -> wushu -> wikipedia Wushu, find taolu weapons sparring

(I just realized that in my songxiao daycare AU, Hualian are Olympic gold medalists by the same narrative logic laksjdnflaksjdnflsd)

So, that's the flow of logic behind my world-building lmao. It's all in the details. Leverage is one of my all-time favorite TV shows and the way they build their stories is super inspiring. If their thesis is "the rich and powerful take what they want, we steal it back for you," they manifest it in the most specific and concrete narratives: mine workers who like the work but are fighting for workplace safety vs. the money-grubbing mine owner who will blow up their livelihoods if it means a bigger payday; the little girl from Iraq with refugee status forced to be an accomplice to antique smuggling vs. international smuggler with a fetish for British royalty.

Last pieces of writing advice I've gotten: pay attention to the real world. A writing exercise we did was just sit in a public spot and make concrete observations on our surroundings. There are stories in everything!!! I learned to observe things like weird holes in the concrete (earthquake? drilling accident? bullet mark?), odd patches of moss or bird shit (look overheard: it's an AC unit dripping water for the former and nesting swallows for the latter), ladies in flipflops walking alongside ladies in high heels (excited mother walking her antsy daughter to the bus for the daughter's first job interview—the daughter's shirt collar is unfashionable and she's taking the bus, so there's a good chance the shoes were passed down, maybe from an office lady aunt. Maybe she's even overdressed for the interview, so will her outfit be an unintended source of tension once she gets to the interview? Is it a group interview, to make the comparison more stark?).

Also, write what you know. You know why SY is a video editor in porn AU? Because I'm a video editor. One of my more popular MDZS fics is set in a plant shop 'cause I worked in a plant shop. SL was First AD in Bachelor!AU 'cause I was First AD on a set once. Concrete details like the editing software having a split-screen, always answering questions about how often to water plants, and being up until 3AM editing call-sheets are the ones that will fully immerse your readers.

And if you can't do the actual things, just watch someone who is, listen to them talk, pick up lingo, and fake it. I watched like a 15-min vox video on fencing for the fencing!AU and a 45-min music theory video on the hospital pianist!AU (also I started learning piano sklfjnlsdjlfkjsd). Of course, I just finished reading a wangxian fic that had me going, "holy fucking shit, the author is literally getting their masters in a music program" so my 45-min youtube video ain't shit, but if you just need a little bit of character establishment, then it's enough to do the trick.

Anyways, tl;dr. Find the details, find the tension. Never tell outright what the tension is supposed to be, manifest it instead. Make the manifestation as interesting as possible, and if it's meant to be funny, make it funnier.

Sorry this turned into a fucking lecture lskjnflskdjnflskd but last thing, someone asked me before if I had formative authors, and this was the list I wrote at the time:

Angels in America (play) by Tony Kushner

The God of Small Things (novel) by Arundhati Roy

The Penelopiad (novel) by Margaret Atwood

“Litany in Which Certain Things are Crossed Out” (poem) by Richard Siken

Night Sky with Exit Wounds (poetry) by Ocean Vuong

Giovanni’s Room (novel) by James Baldwin (and then Go Tell it on the Mountain and then his essays)

Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger

And, ooh, now that I have this list I think I can even roughly sort it as such: Kushner, Atwood, Siken, and Salinger I really latched onto for their dialogue and very present narrator voice—same is true for Go Tell it on the Mountain. Roy, Vuong, and Giovanni’s Room, I think, are texts more representative of the kind of saturated figurative language I like, and emulate. Of course they all do imagery and voice and overall structure amazingly, but that’s the rough dividing line I’d draw.

But yeah James Baldwin is my fucking hero.

[ghostmartyr]

/clears throat/ so, Immi, I hear you like the locked tomb, which is fantastic! from one person also escaping the snk series into TLT to another, what did you think of the characters and plot in HtN? are there any things you're most excited to see when Alecto comes out in 2022?

-pats lifeboat- This baby can fit so much trauma.

SPOILERS, naturally.

With another paragraph informing the curious that unspoiled is the way to go into HtN, since if you aren’t lost and confused, are you really reading Harrow the Ninth?

I read it all in one day, and that was a choice. It does mean my memory and understanding of what all went on is slightly dependent on someone else on the internet exploding over a particular set of paragraphs and explaining their significance to me, but I still enjoyed the hell out of it.

HtN disappointed me on one front in that I was hoping seeing more of Harrow 1.0 would help out any future fic endeavors. On everything else, like the first one, being told the story is such a good time that I’m willing to wait on a full comprehension of where it’s going.

I also really like second person.

What I loved most about HtN is how even without Gideon mentioned until very, very late in the book, you can feel her absence everywhere. In the wrong bubble flashbacks you’re commanded to examine the strangeness, but even in Harrow going about her day, the isolation and the wrongness of it decorate her every action. She’s alone, and she shouldn’t be, and the loss she’s unaware of bleeds into a constant echo of grief.

I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated absence as a narrative tool so much. Obviously griddlehark hours go hard once they start in HtN, but even before then, there is so much power to their connection that looking into a world where it never exists still manages to punch you in the heart with how much each one inhabits everything the other is.

The whole series is amping me up with a few thoughts on loneliness, honestly. Gideon and Harrow grow up alone on the Ninth, save for each other. It takes leaving for that to be any kind of good thing. The first book is tag team Among Us with everyone in their little clusters, slowly learning what other people are about as they all drop dead.

The second book has a different vibe and different plot things going on, but it’s similar in that the protagonist gets thrown into a world they don’t fit and have to put on a show. Only now there are even fewer people to familiarize with, with that number correlating directly to how they all killed the person closest to keeping them from being alone.

Lyctorhood is taking the person dearest to your heart and trapping them there forever while they’re stripped of everything that made them who they are.

...Also Ianthe is there.

Gideon, Mercy, and Augustine are the last Lyctors standing after 10,000 years. There were only seven, starting out. Sixteen acolytes who came to the First. The only pair who didn’t succeed in condensing themselves is separated from the pack and sent to live away from their peers on a tiny planet that no one has anything good to say about.

Alecto is John’s -- who even knows, past A Lot, and he puts her to sleep and locks her in a prison no one but he can get past.

God has seven friends. More if you want to count the people in the Cohort, but realistically, he has seven friends. Then they keep dying.

Harrow spends HtN in a spaceship with five people.

One is trying to kill her.

One ordered that one to try to kill her.

Two could not care less about the useless baby Lyctor.

One is Ianthe.

There is no real endgame. There is surviving life, and life has become a game of running as far away as possible so you don’t share your ruin upon your inevitable death.

It’s bleak and sad.

Harrow’s healthiest relationships are with dead people, and some of them she didn’t know at all in life.

Reiterating it, the most plot significant bit of the world is finding someone else in the world, swearing yourself to them, and smashing your souls together until you’ve lost the connection entirely.

My brain’s not in the best place so I can’t do more than gesture loudly at it, but a few people have mentioned that the series’ thesis is a counter to Ianthe’s statement that love is acquisitive.

Harrow tightens her hold around Gideon until Gideon would rather she just strangle her and get it over with, all things considered. It fucks them both up, and when they start working to get past it, circumstance wraps a chain around both their throats.

The necromancers who become imperfect Lyctors have all acquired their cavaliers, and besides the cav, it kills that bond.

Harrow’s rejection of that is why Gideon’s soul is still in the world of the living (and John blood).

She has spent her entire life eating pieces of Gideon to keep herself a horrid imitation of whole, and when she is finally offered that, she refuses.

Grief and how Harrow just can’t are active elements of the book, and Magnus gives her more therapy in five minutes talking about it than she has ever had in her life, but the reason why that isn’t the end of Gideon is because, unlike all the other Lyctors, Harrow turns the offer down.

With the exception of Babs and Ianthe, the relationship between cavaliers and necros about to do the Lyctor thing is cavaliers promising to burn for an eternity while their necromancer lives off the fumes.

Fuck that is Harrow’s response.

Cytherea says, in the aftermath, that they had the choice to stop.

Harrow stops.

A lifetime of doing exactly what Gideon is telling her to do with her death, and Harrow chooses to stop.

Harrow remembers Ortus’ poetry. She regularly sees her congregation off to their deaths. She keeps Gideon’s glasses. She views Palamedes, head exploded and all, as an infinitely better person than she is because of the quality of his exemplary character. She pulls Gideon the First from the incinerator on the night she plans to kill him.

Kiddo has so many fucking issues, but somewhere, she has learned to respect people for being people. That’s why she and Gideon are the heroes of the story, ultimately, and Ortus saying that they’re heroes worthy of the Ninth doesn’t fall flat. They’re actually trying.

Where that puts us for Alecto, I don’t pretend to know.

Since the first book is the temptation of an end to isolation, only to have it snatched away, the second book is the continuation of isolation with a few promising sparks of human connection that pave the way for hope...

That leaves the third book to shed the isolation and allow the connections to thrive.

With Gideon and Harrow MIA.

I know that the books kick things up into high gear in the final acts each time, but if they’re both gone for the majority of the book, no matter how much fun it is, I’m going to miss them. They’re the core leads, and I don’t want to be without them in the final part.

The 2022 release date has aged my soul. I deliberately planned my GtN read to land a month before HtN came out, then suffered when that was delayed. When really that was nothing at all. I hate waiting.

(Insert note that I’m very glad they aren’t forcing Muir to rush anything out. It’s been a rough time, but also, just in general authors should have the opportunity to create the best versions of their art they can, so the extra time hurts, but it’s obviously for the best.)

What I’m most excited for is probably the cover art. The first two have been awesome, and the artist said he’d likely do print sales for all three when the third’s revealed. My wallet cries but my heart does not.

What I dare not be excited for is the potential for Gideon and Harrow meeting again and perhaps hugging. In their own bodies.

I’d take other bodies, but ideally, y’know.

Also I would love for Harrow to finally meet her popsicle girlfriend.

I doubt it would be a wholly positive experience, but by golly I want it. Maybe they could hug too. It would probably kill Harrow again, but who doesn’t expect several people to die again in the third book?

However it plays out, I’m expecting to enjoy AtN. The writing’s the sort that I’ll happily follow wherever it goes. For everything else, there’s fanfic. The only real worry I have is the whole book will be narrated by Ianthe, and while I mentally groan at that, I actually find Ianthe’s commentary delightful, so even in the worst case scenario I’m having a good time.

Thank you so much for the ask.

[actualbird]

1, 3, 20!! also can i be 🌃 anon :D

i dub thee as NightStar!Anon :DDD thank you for the writing asks, NightStar!!!

1. Do you prefer writing with pen and paper or on an online document?

online document HANDS DOWN. i started writing using msword when i was 11 and i shifted to google docs at 15 and i never looked back. i have immense difficulty writing even just my NAME DOWN because handwriting is something i am sooooo not used to and also because ive got a pesky little involuntary movement disorder that fucks with my hands every once in a while.

keyboards and online documents saved my life. i wouldnt have been able to get into writing at all if all that were available to me was like...a quill and parchment, or some shit kJBKJSFG.

3. Have you taken any writing classes?

yeah a whole bunch! in college i majored in Fine Arts: Creative Writing and the curriculum (predictably) had many writing classes. writing workshops, introduction to [insert genre here], writing workshops some more, writing theory, writing workshops til the end of DAYSSS, and oh my god, dont get me started on thesis. the thesis of CW students in our university was to make a whole ass manuscript and every other week i'd scuttle into my thesis advisor's office with my horrid little works and he'd drop me into the literary frying pan and sizzle me while i thanked him.

and i also was a fellow in two non academic writing workshops. because i am. deranged in the brain.

20. What's the easiest thing for you to write?

dialog!!!! so so so often do most of my pieces actually begin with dialog, because it just comes so easily to me. especially comedic banter. sometimes when i outline, i just write down all of the dialog completely on its own and then when thats done thats the only time i'll build around it.

[thedemisedroyal]

Dangerous Betrayal | TVD/TO

The Vampire Diaries & The Originals

AU Story

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙾𝙽 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙵𝙾𝚄𝚁!

In alone scenes, scenes with other celestial beings, or when it revolves around her past memories, she will be referred to as Jordan, but when she is with the cast of TVD/TO she is referred to as Esme. Just a heads up to any confused people.

- a u t h o r

• E S M E •

"You are a disgrace to the Tesni name! You do not belong here anymore. You are here by banished from the Void! You will be taken to Heaven til further notice." Her mother's voice boomed through the giant throne room, the princess felt her heart drop, more tears flooding her eyes, soon following down her face.

She shook her head furiously,"Please mother! Please!" She begged and pleaded but they fell on deaf ears. The princess eyes widened as her father walked towards her with The First Blade in hand. Her father had a furious and disgusted look on his face as he grabbed his youngest child's hair and pulled her out to her feet.

"Father please, I beg of you!" She whispered, her voice trembling with fear, but he didn't answer. He only struck the blade through his daughters chest, she gasped, her eyes flashing a pure golden-yellow, shining within the light, but soon it was consumed by a fiery orange.

Her silver hair was pushed back as the sky door beneath her opened, revealing a pure black portal, which was glistening. It was a portal that lead anyone to the new place named Heaven. "Please." She muttered one last time before her father pulled out the blade that was sticking out of her chest, and pushed her into the portal. As she fell the princess reach out for her father, who simply walked away from the sight.

Soon the doors closed, revealing the sky doors to be in a shape of a dragon, their family sigil.

Jordan gasped as she rose from the bed abruptly, putting a hand on her chest, breathing heavily as past memories flashed in her mind. She turned her head to face her clock, it read 4:38 AM, it was insanely early, the sun wasn't even out yet.

Jordan laid back down, her heart slowly calming down as she closed her eyes and took deep breaths. "God, I hate this." She whispered, living these types of life's sucked, and the goddess just wanted it to stop already. For the billionth time, probably more but Jordan has lost count, she was reborn at the mere age of five minutes in the life of Esme Gilbert. For the past ten years she has lived as the Gilbert girl, feeling all the pain, all the sadness, every bit of it.

The goddess looked at the clock once more, sighing loudly as she had to go to school for the hundredth time. She despised it, but the princess herself tried to keep telling herself that maybe this life might have some pizzazz to it, and not just a normal, mundane life she had lived too many times.

And just like that, the goddess closed her eyes and forced herself back to sleep, trying not to think of her vicious cycle, now frowning at the thought of the first day of high school.

***

Jordan groaned loudly as the annoying beeping from her alarm clock filled her room. Jordan roughly hit the top of her clock, stopping the beeping, but the Gilbert was wide awake, with a pillow over her head, her tangled brown hair spread all over the bed. "Dammit." She muttered, though it was quite muffled as she was faced down.

The wavy brown haired girl pushed the pillow off of her head and threw the blanket off her body. Getting up while rubbing her eyes to try and wipe the sleep off. She yawned loudly, stretching as she stood up from her bed, the cold floor sending electric waves to her feet that kind of woke her up.

"I hate life." Jordan pronounced to a empty room, grabbing her healthcare supplies and making way to the bathroom to start the horrid day.

***

Jordan looked at herself in the full body mirror she had in her room, trying to find any imperfection. She looked good in the outfit Esme's, well her, best friend Caroline Forbes, had picked for her about a week ago. Jordan slightly smile as she topped it off with her rose gold, moonstone ring that was a friendship ring, which Caroline also had. And a silver crescent moon necklace with a blood moon pendant to the side of it, which she got during her fourteenth birthday

Jordan smiled, quickly fixing her bed, picking up her room, tidying it up as she didn't want to do it later in the day when she is tired and extremely lazy. "Okay, let's do this." She spoke to herself, grabbing her satchel and heading downstairs with the rest of her family.

***

"Toast. I can make toast." Esme's Aunt Jenna spoke to Elena in the kitchen, opening one of the top cabinets, looking over her shoulder to look at Elena, who was pouring herself a cup of coffee. "It's all about the coffee, Aunt Jenna." Elena nonchalantly spoke as she poured her coffee, not looking back.

"Is there coffee?" Jeremy and Esme both asked in unison, walking to the kitchen. The younger daughter separated from her little brother, walking towards the cupboard with the coffee mugs, pulling two of them, for Elena and her, knowing Jeremy would take Elena's.

Elena scoffed quietly as Jeremy took her mug, Turing around to grab another one when she was met with Esme already holding one, smiling. Elena sent one back, taking the mug and pouring herself, then one for her sister. "Your first day of school and I'm totally unprepared." Jenna spoke frantically, going to her back to grab her wallet. She pulled out three twenties, walking towards the trio, holding out her hands,"Lunch money?" She questioned, Elena and Esme shook their head,"I'm good." Esme spoke first,"Same." Elena followed, though Jeremy gladly took one of the twenties.

"Anything else? A number two pencil? What am I missing?" The aunt asked herself and the kids, putting the remaining twenties back into her wallet. Esme furrowed her brows, tilting her head a bit, "Don't you have a big presentation today?" The youngest daughter asked, sipping her semi-hot coffee. Jenna sighed, looking at her watch"I'm meeting with my thesis advisor at...now. Crap!" Jenna exclaimed, taking her hair out of the flimsy bun.

Elena spoke up,"Then go. We'll be fine." She reassured, Jenna sent a quick smile and quickly walked away, leaving the three alone. Elena and Esme looked at each other, both communicating with their eyes alone. The youngest twin nudged her head forward, taking a quick glance at their brother, Elena nodded, turning to Jeremy. "You okay?" Elena asked, Jeremy rolled his eyes at his two older sisters,"Don't start." Scoffing as he walked away with his coffee in hand.

Elena looked down,"Don't worry Le, he'll come around soon." Esme sent a small smile towards her sister, who gave a sad one back. The two talked before they all had to leave for school. Elena was going with Bonnie while Esme walked to the park to wait for her best friend, as she was strictly instructed to do so. And she knew Caroline, she wouldn't let her live this down if Esme is late.

***

"Are you sure you're okay?" Caroline questioned her childhood best friend for the hundredth time, Esme giggled and nodded her head. "Yes care-bear, I'm completely fine, you don't have to worry, I've got you." Esme playfully told, the two shared a laugh and continued to walk through the crowded high school hallway.

The two had locked arms, unknowingly walking towards Elena and Bonnie by the lockers, Caroline separated from the youngest daughter of the Gilbert's and to the oldest Gilbert daughter. "Elena. Oh, my god. How are you?" Caroline took the eldest Gilbert into a hug, pulling back swiftly, coming face to face,"Oh, it's so good to see you." She spoke in a calming voice.

The blonde turned to the Bennet,"How is she? Is she good?" Asking her, Elena furrowed her brow a bit,"Caroline," The blonde looked back to the brunette,"I'm right here. And I'm fine. Thank you." Elena reassured her other best friend, nodding her head with a fake smile plastered. "Really?" Caroline asked once more, making Esme shake her head.

"I've been trying to reassure her but she won't listen." Esme finally made her way to the three, "Hey squeakers." Bonnie teasingly said, Esme rolled her eyes playfully,"Hi to you too, branch." Bonnie playfully glared, but she broke into a smile, bringing the younger twin into a hug. The two were also close, well, then again, all four of them were.

Caroline smiled at Elena, bringing her into one last hug, "Oh you poor thing." The Forbes softly spoke, pulling back from the hug quickly, as the first bell would soon ring and she wanted the best seats for her and Esme. "See you guys later? Lunch?" Caroline asked, Bonnie and Elena nodded, a genuine smile on their faces from their bubbly friend,"Yes!" Bonnie exclaimed happily, Elena nodding.

"Okay bye! Come on Esme, we need the best seats!" Caroline dramatically explained, locking arms with her and dragging her along. Esme laughed, waving to her sister and other best friend, they waved back,"See you at lunch!" Bonnie and Elena agreed, quickly saying goodbye.

***

"I was thinking we should head to the grill for a girls night." Caroline spoke as she reapplied her lipstick, she and Esme were by her lockers for a quick book pickup and fixation of her appearance. Esme nodded,"Sure, if you want. Though I might have to ask Jenna." The brunette talked to the blonde, looking towards to see she wasn't listening at all. But her eyes were glued to a person, a boy, who Esme never recognized before.

Jordan's eyes flashed a scarlet red for half a mili-second, a voice in the back of her head speaking in a hush whisper, "Vampire". Jordan felt her heart race, what the hell was that? The goddess doesn't have powers, they were stripped away when she was turned into this dimension. But the woman didn't think about for to long, as she knew exactly who this was, Stefan Salvatore, just like in the file she had gotten when the goddess switched into this dimension. He matched the description it put, dirty blonde hair, dark green eyes, supposed to show up on the first day back.

The goddess didn't know his purpose nor his life story, just his name, his hair and eyes, and that he had a brother named Damon Salvatore, she wasn't given a lot information about the man, which was odd in her case. She would have kept on thinking if it wasn't for that damn bell, "Come on Care, let's get to class!" Esme spoke with a big smile, locking arms with the blonde who was in a slight trance. Caroline snapped out of it, nodding frantically,"Yeah, come on." Soon the two made their way to the first class...math.

***

Elena laughed as Esme fell down to the ground, right on her butt. The younger twin glared at the older twin,"I hate you." She muttered, Elena rolled her eyes, shaking her head,"No you don't Me, no you don't." Elena repeated playfully, sending a sarcastic smirk her way.

(Me is pronounced May, that's Elenas nickname for Esme, she's the only one that calls her that. And Esme calls Elena Le, pronounced Lay, sorry for any confusion."

The eldest son got up from her sister bed, walking towards her mirror to check her face, making sure she didn't rub any makeup of hers. Elena smile as she looked behind her in the mirror, seeing her little sister wiping her butt, already off the floor. "Thanks for the help Le." Elena turned around to see a scowling Esme, "You are very welcome, my dear little sister!" Elena laughed more, but squealed as Esme started to chase her around the room, though Esme already had a plan.

She waited until Elena was near the door, then kicking her history book she hadn't put away yet, making it slide through the floor and right next to Elenas feet, who hadn't even noticed the large book as she was looking behind her. Due to the lack of sight, Elena fell harshly, on her side. Making Esme laugh out loud,"You are very welcome, my dear big sister!" Esme exclaimed, holding her stomach as she fell to the floor, laughing. Elena groaned as she pushed herself up,"Oh my god, that was priceless!" Esme giggled, standing up.

"C-Come on Le, w-we g-gotta go already." Esme stuttered, trying to contain her laughter, Elena glared as she stood up as well,"Imma get you back for that!" She grumbled, rubbing her shoulder, trying to soothe the slight aching feeling. Esme wiped her eyes that were wet with tears,"Yeah, okay, sure you will."

The two soon composed themselves, leaving the room and heading downstairs, playfully bumping shoulders with each other as they walked down the stairs. The twins had their coats in hand, passing their aunt Jenna with smiles on their faces. "We're meeting Bonnie and Caroline at the grill." They quickly informed the guardian.

"Okay, have fun. Wait," Both brunettes swiftly turned around,"I got this. Don't stay out late, it's a school night." Jenna pronounced with a smile, the twins sent smiles her way. Elena chucked,"Well done, Aunt Jenna." She spoke happily, Esme sent a playfully soldier salute. The aunt parted ways with the twins, a satisfied look upon her face.

As Jenna left, Esme and Elena made way to the front door, ready for their little night out. Elena grabbed the door, unlocking it and opening it, slightly gasping as she was face to face with Stefan. "Sorry, I was about to knock." Stefan spoke in a soft tone. Esme heard the voice and she recognized it. She would have seen him if she wasn't putting on her jacket, she closely listened it before making her presence known.

"I wanted to apologize for my disappearing act earlier. I know it was..strange." Stefan said, his voice was kind of low and rough, sending a smile to her twin. Elena shrugged her shoulders,"I get it, blood makes you squeamish." The two shared a quick and brief laugh. Esme soon lost her train of though whilst listening.

Her mind was thinking,"What did he want with her." He was clearly a vampire, as her power detected pretty easily. There has to be a point to why he was here, and why he had a interest to Elena. And most importantly, was it something bad? Was it good..that's a long shot.. She quickly broke out of thought when she saw her sister walk away, turning her head to see a standing Stefan, looking at the doorframe.

Esme quickly put on her facade, plastering a smile and walking towards the door,"Stefan?" Thank god Caroline talked to him during the fourth and third period, otherwise she would have blown her cover. Stefan furrowed his brows, "Hey Esme, what are you doing here." The vampire questioned,"I live here actually, I see you are acquainted with my sister?" She questioned back, Stefan opened his mouth t speak, but didn't speak for a couple of seconds, thinking thoroughly.

"Talked here and there, came here to give back her journal." Stefan responded with a small smiled, Esme was about to respond but she heard someone walking towards her,"You guys know each other?" Elena asked, putting on her jacket, Esme and Stefan gave each other's quick glance,"Met each other in fourth and third." The youngest Gilbert daughter quickly explained.

Elena smiled,"Caroline?" Esme laughed a bit, nodding her head, muttering a quick 'Yup' in response. Stefan cleared his throat, catching the attention on the twins,"Sorry, were you guys going somewhere?" Elena nodded her head, walking more towards the Salvatore. "Yeah, we're going to meet friends. Do you want to come?" Elena asked, locking eyes with the green eyed boy. Esme slightly smiled, looking at the two. Maybe things might not be so bad..maybe?