#begrudgingly father figure characters my beloved

[jay-birds-fly]

Please tell me someone else has seen this film

[plounce]

one thing about thancred and ryne is that i think they BOTH project onto the other to some extent. thancred's treatment of ryne is obviously very impacted by how he relates her to minfilia. but as evidenced by fatebreaker - "dread hope" - ryne's perception of thancred is also colored by her other father figure / protector. ryne had already grown up knowing about the other minfilias before her and being told she would never measure up and the best she could do was stay in her cell in the cavernous jail under eulmore. by the time thancred rescues her, she already fully believes she is an inferior version of the girls/women before her, and thancred's close relationship with the PEAK minfilia makes it very easy for her to perceive their relationship as thancred begrudgingly taking care of her because she's the closest thing to HIS minfilia. and while that's a little bit true, it isn't anywhere near the whole truth, i don't think. (and obviously none of this is "her fault" - she's an abused and traumatized child with an unimaginable burden on her tiny little shoulders. of course that's gonna effect how she sees the world and the people close to her)

i really wish we got to see/know more of ryne's "before" wrt her character arc - what was her life of captivity in eulmore like (thank you e11 for the crumbs)? what did she know how to do when thancred first got her out - how actually "helpless" was she, what skills did she lack, what basic knowledge of the world was she ignorant of? and (my favorite): what was her and thancred's relationship like before the WoL arrived on the first? because the WoL arriving on the first was the cause of her running away to go find them in an effort to Be The Original Minfilia, and i do think that that incident affected how thancred behaved for a lot of shadowbringers. the fear from her getting captured again by her abusers! the turmoil over that being a clanging alarm that she is getting close to Her Big Existential Choice!

and in the end, both of them meet with who the other saw in them. ryne chooses to continue to live, even if she doesn't totally feel like she deserves to, even if she isn't the strongest minfilia, even if it's difficult and painful. and the original minfilia embraces her and gives her a bottle of hairdye and is finally able to rest. and thancred basically dies to keep ran'jit from having control over ryne, and is reborn as A Better Dad. and then (because while ran'jit is thancred's foil, thancred also operates as one for emet-selch) he accepts and embraces ryne as an individual person who of COURSE deserves to live. who, while not his first sisterdaughter, is regardless beloved family to him. who he is glad did not sacrifice herself to bring back his mostly-dead glory-days loved one. and then he gives her a name that has nothing to do with their relative traumatic pasts - just their shared time together as a family unit (with urianger. but i don't need to go into That subtext with you)

literally mountaingoats_lovelovelove.mp3 love is gonna lead you by the hand into a white and soundless place. now we see things as in a mirror dimly. now we see each other face to face

[lablass-2882]

Soulmark Au with LOTR and Hobbit characters. Part 2

Who’s ready for some character headcannon’s?  Anyone? 

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Thorin: Thorin is not proud of his soul-mark.  In fact, he hated it for the longest time. His mark is a delicate bouquet of Belladonna blossoms wrapped in a burgundy red ribbon with a dagger nestled in-between the petals.  The flowers seemed to sway and grow on their own accorded.  Hiding the mark was especially difficult during his exiled years.  Often laughed at for have such a strange mark; at one point he debated slashing the mark off of his left arm.  An old human beggar stopped him.  She warned him that if he harmed the mark in any way, that his beloved would be harmed in the same the fashion.  Thorin is many things, but he drew the line at harming his “one” in such a petty act of anger.  Years later a certain hobbit would explain the meaning of his mark and point out the hidden dagger.  Alluding to his “one” being of both natures; delicate and fierce. He gains a new apparition of his mark afterwards.

Bilbo: Bilbo has a shield for their mark. A rather strange shield with twin swords forming a X at its back. From one sword hangs a crown and from the other hangs a blue coat.  At the shield’s center their lies a rune that Bilbo has never been able to properly read.  The ruin seemed to come and go as it pleased.  The crown and coat seemly wonder off from time to time as well.  While traveling with the company, Bilbo picked up some runic signs and finally was able to translate the ruin.  What they found out was less then illuminating.  The ruin was simple a sign of loyalty or maybe royalty.  Bilbo still doesn’t fully know.  

Dwalin: Dwalin’s soul mark is a closely guarded secret, only four people have every seen his mark. The list is limited to his father, his brother, Thorin and Nori; although Nori will NEVER admit to seeing it. It’s located on the small of his back. Dwalin’s mark is a five-pointed star made of knives.  He hates it because he knows exactly what it means and he is very grumpy about it.

Nori: Nori has a soul mark similar to Vili (Dis’s husband) and Biblo.  It’s a wooden shield with twin war hammers behind it that form a X. Along the rim on the shields are runes for strength, bravery and loyalty.   Several people have seen it and he honestly doesn’t care if people do. This pesters Dwalin to no end.  He also knowns exactly what it means and who it’s for.  Nori is very salty about it.

Dis: Dis soul mark is an axe and chisel wrapped with a golden cloth.  Dis was confused by her mark for the longest time.  Its simplicity made it hard to figure out and since most dwarfs are craftsmen of some sort.  It wasn’t until she met Vili in the blue mountains did she finally figure it out.  Dis and Vili met while building up an outpost in the mountains.  She was visiting the outpost with her brothers and Vili was one of the craftsmen.  Strapped to his right arm was a small throwing hatchet and a wooden chisel. After meeting Vili, Dis pestered him weeks until he agreed to a date.

Vili: Vili’s mark is equally as simple as Dis’s mark.  His mark is a wooden shield with a single sword at the top. Within the shield is the runes for love and beauty.  Its located high up on his right arm and is often covered up by his tools or a sleeve. He never believed that he would find his “one” after traveling to the Blue Mountains.  So many died during the journey and the chances of him finding his “one” were slim.  Then came Dis, daughter of Thain son of Thor. After a chance meeting while working on a project the pesky exiled princess would hardly give him a monuments rest. Vili lasted for three weeks before finally giving in to her demands for a date.  

Fili: Like his mother and uncles, Fili was very confused by his mark.  It’s a delicate pure white snowflake with northern ruins carved into its pattern. It sits quietly at the top of his right shoulder. Fili swears that there are days where he can feel the marks cold touch.  As a child Fili has a very clear memory of his mark burning him.  The pain was so bad that he ran crying into his mother’s arms.  Dis later explained that something must have happened to his soulmate and that his mark is burning because of it.  (Secretly she worried that this meant that Fili’s soulmate was dead, but she never let her worries show.)  Fili hated his mark for a while after the pain calmed down.  As he got older, he forgot that the mark even existed, it wasn’t until he met Skadi that he remembers his mark.  Although, he would take a year to figure out that the runes in the snowflake spelled out Skadi’s name.

Skadi: Skadi’s mark has always trouble her and for the longest time she wasn’t even sure if she still had one. Her mark is/was located on her right shoulder. When she was young her mark took the form of a lion’s face with a sword held in its mouth.  But after nearly dying at the claws of a Shadow Lion, Skadi’s mark disappeared completely.  It wouldn’t reappear until she hit adulthood. Returning with a searing pain that felt like a hot iron being pressed into her skin.  Now her mark shows a Lion’s paw flanked by twin blades with runes etched into the blade.  The left blade spells the name Fili and the right says Lionheart.  Surprisingly the mark exists over scars on her shoulder and when she touched it, she swears she can feel its warmth.  Skadi’s didn’t know what to make of her new mark; it remained a mystery to her until she met Fili.  When they met, Skadi’s mark started to heat up again.  It would take her another year and a lot of research to figure out what the gods where trying to tell her.

Kili: Kili’s mark is an arrow.  A very fancy elven arrow, with vines curling around it. For the longest time, Kili thought that maybe his “one” made arrows.  It wasn’t until someone pointed out the elven design of the arrows the Kili began to worry. This caused a lot of self-doubt in Kili’s mind. It didn’t defiantly didn’t mean that his “one” was and Elf. They probably just made arrows for the elves, or were just a really skilled craftsman, right? Right? Wrong! Once he met Tauriel, Kili’s fate was sealed.  He fell hard for Tauriel and even harder on his pride.  

Tauriel: Tauriel’s is very simple.  Too simple for her “one” to be an elf.  Elven marks are elegant and meaningful. Not a plain trio of arrows with strange symbols on them.  When Tauriel was young she would have done anything to change her mark but as she got older, the more the mark to grow on her.  After serving the high elves, Tauriel had her fill of snotty nobles and their rules.  She hated breaking Legolas heart, but they both knew better.  Meeting Kili was experience for her.  Never in a million years would she have ever thought that her “one” was a dwarf.  But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Stupid, ironic sense.

Legolas: Like many others, Legolas hatted his soul-mark for the longest time.  What prince of elves has an axe for a soul-mark! Certainly not the noble or respectable kind.  No sir. Legolas would hide his mark for centuries before finally coming to terms with it.  For the longest time he believed that battle was is true soulmate, but after the Battle of the Five Armies, Legolas thought differently. Legolas would quietly resign to forget his mark ever existed and submitted to his fate of never finding his “one”.  Then he met Gimli, and then his axe grew vines.  Vines with bright orange marigolds and pretty little white starflowers. Legolas was begrudgingly sold on the idea of dwarves not long after.

Gimli: He has a strange mark. Gimli’s mark is a bow with elk antlers and stars all around it. No one knew what his mark meant; not his parents, nor his uncle, even his cousins were confused.  Gimli took it all in stride, thought.  He my not be the smartest dwarf in history, but he knew that the gods had a plan for him.  Why else would he have a mark full of stars? Then he met Legolas and……… Gimli realized nothing.  Even after fighting together for years, Gimli stilled knew nothing about his mark.  It wasn’t until Legolas spelling the whole thing out for him, that Gimli finally understood.  He wasn’t completely disappointed.

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Well that was fun to write.  I have a fanfic in the works about this whole concept.... but I have no clue who long that will take me to write. Fingers crossed that my writers block stays away for a while. Anywho....

Enjoy the content and Peace out. 

[undeadgoathead]

Bad Things Happen Bingo - Part 2

Intro: Thanks again to @badthingshappenbingo for sending me this card! I'm using these prompts to help inspire my current WIP, an original work called The Land of Entrapment. The basic premise is about nature spirits - tree nymphs, wildflower nomads, lily nobles, etc. - Who begrudgingly have to team up with a mysterious human called the Toothgrinder, in order to defeat the Thorn Empire. The Thorns are marauding invaders who want to conquer the land after depleting it of all its natural resources. If there's one thing humans and Fae can agree on, it's that weeds suck!

Fandom: Land of Entrapment Series (Original work)

Characters: Devilsclaw, Dandelion, Bitterclover (mentioned) Tribulus (mentioned), Larkspur (mentioned), Foxtail (mentioned).[All OC's]

Prompt: I Have Your Loved One

Summary: Devilsclaw finds Bitterclover's lover, Dandelion, and gives her the ransom note that he intercepted from the evil Thorn Empire.

With Tarragon’s help, Devilsclaw had finally escaped from the clutches of the Thorn Empire. After being imprisoned in the Boulder Fortress by his own Father, Tribulus, Devilsclaw cherished his freedom, fresh air, and warm sunlight all the more. As he travelled through the desert, he was surprised to see a familiar figure. Even from a distance, he could recognize the wild blonde hair and lush green eyes anywhere.

"Dandelion!” Devilsclaw called out, running toward her. “Your Bitterclover still lives. She was imprisoned with me in the Boulder Fortress. The corrupt scholars are taking her to the Caverns." Devilsclaw panted as he finally caught up to Dandelion.

"The Caverns? Why didn't they tell me? And they could have simply ordered her to grant a wish. Why would they abduct her?" Dandelion balked.

"It's a long story."

"I demand to know!"

"They want her to wish the Heretics free from the Basilica prison."

"That's impossible!"

"And, by holding her hostage, they want to blackmail you into helping them grant the wish as well. They think that, by using both love and fear, they will amplify the magick spell."

“Where did you hear such a scandalous rumor?”

“I told you, Bitterclover was locked up with me!” Devilsclaw yelled with exasperation. “I saw her! I was her only friend for all these long months! She told me that Larkspur took her from the Bisti Badlands on the night you were supposed to meet her there!”

Dandelion’s face went pale. “Larkspur had something to do with this?”

Devilsclaw nodded gravely. “Aye, I’m afraid so. Sagebrush told me the rest. He had visions of the Thorns taking Bitterclover through White Sands. They’re on the way to the Caverns as we speak. To a chamber far beyond Slaughter Canyon Cave, beyond Spider Cave, past the Rookery and the Doll’s Theater and the Temple of the Sun.”

“Then where is she?” Dandelion frowned. Her most vivid memories of the Caverns, was the gorgeous Chandelier Ballroom, where she attended many royal dances, invited by such prestigious Fae as Horsecrippler and Chokecherry. The masquerades were exquisite, as everyone danced and careened amongst the glittering crystal stalactites and pristine stalagmites all throughout the cave, fractals of pure rock shimmering like snowflakes in the moonlight. But that was a formation in the Lecheguilla caves. The landmarks that Devilsclaw named, were located in Carlsbad. The cave system where the Basilica prison was located. But Dandelion’s ventures there were always for work, never for pleasure.

“They call this chamber, the Hall of the White Giant.” Devilsclaw answered.

“No, that can’t be. Isn’t that nearby to –“

“The Basilica. Yes. As I’ve said, the Thorn Empire wants to use Bitterclover – and you, Dandelion – To wish free my mother, Belladonna. And maybe other heretics, as well. Thistle and Pennyroyal”

“I still don’t believe you. Your reputation precedes you, wicked little Devilsclaw.”

“You’d sooner trust a rumor than an old friend? It is not I who is untrustworthy, but you who are gullible for the wrong cause.”

“You are a thief, a liar, and a wanted fugitive! Begone, cruel weed!”

“I was afraid you’d say that.” Devilsclaw sighed sadly. “True, I have used treachery in the past. But never against you or Bitterclover. If anything, I’ve used my wits to protect the likes of you. Which is why I intercepted this letter.”

Dandelion snatched the parchment scroll from Devilsclaw’s hand. She read it out loud:

To the attention of Dandelion Taraxacum Officinale Leontodon, of the Asterid Clan,

We have your loved one. Bitterclover is with us. If you want her back, come to the Hall of the White Giant, deep in the ancient caverns. Come alone. We will return her to you only after you follow our instructions. If you refuse, we will imprison Bitterclover in the Basilica, and we will send Amethyst-Deceiver and Destroying-Angel after you. Do as we command, and you and your beloved may survive.

Your fearless leader,

Tribulus Caltrop Burra Gokhru, of the Bindii Clan

“It’s a ransom note. From my father. ” Devilsclaw said.

“Yes, I can see that.” Dandelion scoffed.

“Using my invisibility spell, I stole this message from Foxtail, my father’s messenger. And, in so doing, I have earned us a few more days of time. We are a step ahead of the Thorn Empire already. Do you finally trust me now?”

“I suppose so, out of necessity. But I still think you’re naught but the lesser of two evils. You may be terrible, but not nearly as much so as your parents.”

“The feeling is mutual, lass. I’d much rather talk to Bitterclover than you. For her sake, I’ll tolerate your help as we rescue her together.”

[the-glitter-acetylcholine]

Harry Potter characters that were criminally underused (in no particular order)

(MAJOR SPOILERS)

Luna Lovegood - literally only introduced like halfway through the fifth book, yet probably the most influential ravenclaw character. Her odd mannerisms and odder outlook would have made her a fabulous addition to the golden trio’s shenanigans, yet she only serves this purpose in one case

Mad-eye Moody - he’s “well-developed” in the fourth book, and we get a lot of content of him... only to discover it wasn’t him at all. Then, he briefly appears with the order and then dies. Great. What a wonderful use of a skilled fighter and mentor.

Remus Lupin - okay, so he does get the whole third book but then... he just fucks off? Ofc then he, too, returns to fight with the order, fall in love with a woman half his age, have a baby with her, and then die immediately thereafter. He’s just such a cool guy with so much to offer to Harry and to readers (when it comes to insight on discrimination in the wizarding community) and he just doesn’t get a chance to do nearly enough. What a wasted opportunity.

Pravati and Padma Patil - yeah, these are two different characters, but we know so little about them that I can’t even discuss them individually. They’re twins in different houses! How cool! There’s so much to be explored there, especially considering the competitive atmosphere among houses that Harry perceives. Not to mention the fact that they inexplicably agreed to go to the Yule Ball with Harry and Ron respectively despite a) apparently not knowing them very well and b) not even being all that desperate to hang out with them at the ball (I think Padma asks Ron to dance a few times and then gives up) (side note: this made me extremely mad when I was little, because I had I major crush on Padma). What compelled them to do that? What are they like? What are the differences between them that caused them to be sorted into different houses? Gah, they could have been so interesting!

Cho Chang - this is one that makes me genuinely a little mad (same goes for #6). She’s just so two dimensional, and that’s really not fair. She’s a decoration on Harry’s arm for what? A year or two? And she then cries, dates Diggory, and then she cries again (I think she dates Diggory first but you get the point). HER PURPOSE IS NOT JUST TO CRY OVER GUYS. She’s a ravenclaw. Let’s hear about that. Where do her interests lie? Is she an academic? Is she an artist? What kind of intelligence does she have, what kind of knowledge does she seek? What made her like Harry to begin with? Did Harry ever like her for more than her “sleek black hair” (not a direct quote, but I’m sure it’s described as something to that effect)? I want to knowwwww

Lavender Brown - aka... Ron’s brief, annoying girlfriend? The precursor to Romione? I mean, was this girl even in the D.A.? Maybe she was, but I don’t remember, and that’s the problem. She’s a Gryffindor. She’s brave, she’s headstrong, she’s proud! But she’s only ever portrayed as overbearing and clingy which SURE, may be some of her traits, because she’s allowed to have flaws, but that’s not all she is. I want to see her relationship with Pravati and Hermione, who she roomed with for six years (beyond her annoying Hermione when she dated Ron). But nope! I guess she’s just another accessory!

Nymphadora Tonks - i.e. Tonks. She’s funny and brave and powerful, but we barely get to see her in action (yes, before you ask, i had a crush on her, too). She’s interesting, so interesting, because her emotions are often expressed through her appearance, and she undergoes like two full personality shifts throughout the books (it’s worth noting that she’s also introduced pretty late in the series, book five, i think). She’s depressed for a while, then she falls in love, gets married, and has a son (and then dies), and, while it seems like this is a lot of usage (which it is), I can’t help but wish we had seen a little more of it all, specifically of her falling in love and of her married life, of her motherhood, before she died.

Xenophilius Lovegood - literallly (i would argue) one of the most interesting characters in the series, despite the fact that (I think) he is only featured heavily in one scene. I would definitely call him a more complex character than Snape. In his one scene, Xenophilius offers the golden trio one of their most important lessons through the Tale of the Three Brothers, the story which ultimately wins them the war against Voldemort. And yet, it’s a trap. He’s stalling, keeping them around so that Voldy’s goons can come pick them up and presumably kill them, or at least imprison them until Voldy comes ‘round again. But, and here’s the important part, he does it to save his beloved daughter. His daughter, who is the only family he has left, after his incredible scientist-witch of a wife died doing what she loved. The Lovegood’s are a family of inherently good people, yet Xenophilius sides with the very people who took his daughter in a weak effort to get her safely back. His plan won’t work, they won’t return Luna. They DON’T return her, but Xenophilius is fundamentally weak, made weak out of his love, and his fear of losing the last person in the world he has to care about, to protect, to love. He’s just SO DAMN INTERESTING ughhhhh give me more Xenophilius pleaseeeee

Kingsley Shacklebolt - he’s??? so cool??? Literally he’s just awesome, but we barely see him. He acts as a spy, essentially, when the ministry gets taken over by the death eaters, and helps the order actually get shit done, but he’s just so underused. Idk, I don’t have much to say except that he’s awesome and I want more Shacklebolt content

Cedric Diggory - he’s actually talked about a fair amount, so I don’t think I need to say much, except that he is literally the nicest guy ever, and, despite Harry actively hating him for like a whole year, he helps him in the Triwizard Tournament and represents Hufflepuff beautifully as being more than just the “miscellaneous house”. But then of course he’s killed before he and Harry can become friends, and before readers get a chance to understand anything about his social status (is he the asshole popular guy or sweet quite guy???) or motivations. Of course.

Percy Weasley - aka MY FAVORITE WEASLEY KID. R*wling did my boy so dirty. He’s cool because he’s kind of a stuck up academic asshole stereotype, or at least Harry perceives him as such, and then he changes slightly over the years as he and Harry both grow and mature and then it all culminates in his great moment of emotion and humanity! Fred’s death is, without much contest I think, the most devastating death in the whole series (Dobby could admittedly give him a run for his money, though), in part because he’s just so damn sweet and funny and innocent, and in part because right before it we FINALLY get to see Percy smile. He smiles at a dumb joke Fred makes, and then Fred DIES (a well placed death, I’ll admit begrudgingly), and just the juxtaposition of the moment... *chef’s kiss*. And then we never really check back in on Percy, and we don’t really get enough closure on that moment. :/

Colin and Dennis Creevy - again, two characters stuffed together, this time because we actually know a fair amount about them and... they’re kind of the same character. Colin is obsessed with Harry, and so is Dennis. That’s about it. I just WISH we got a little more on these kids, on why they felt so drawn to him as this apparently untouchable hero among them. Were they abused? Orphaned? Abandoned? Did they have some sort of trauma in their lives that made them so attached to the idea of a savoir? Or did they simply regard Harry as most little boys might, as a cool sort of action figure character? The world may never know :(((

Susan Bones - God, I wish I had more to say about her. She’s sweet, she a hufflepuff, I think she helps Ron at one point in Herbology. Her aunt dies I think. Is she the one who had the rabbit at one point? Idk, she’s just one of those characters who’s so far in the background that she almost stands out, and I kinda just wanna know more.

Fawkes - yeah, I know he’s a bird or whatever, but he’s fucking cool, and we get a Fawkes-ex-machina in the second book and then he’s essentially inconsequential for like... forever. I want to know how he and dumbledore bonded, why his feathers in those two specific wands were so attracted to Harry and Tommy boi specifically, other than symbolism uwu. Does Fawkes have a moral compass, or does he simply follow Dumbledore’s orders? Could his loyalty potentially be changed?

Narcissa Malfoy - please, for the love of god, give the Malfoy’s a chance. At least Draco and Narcissa. Narcissa is essentially the flip side of Xenophilius’s coin. Her side of the family is shrouded in dark magic, but her priority is keeping her dear son safe. I just want to know her and her inner struggle more intimately, because she’s such a contradiction, she’s a death eater who loves and protects, a dark magic user who wants to create something warm and beautiful for her family. She’s scared for a husband, a top death eater, one of Voldemort’s personal faves, and scared for her son, who she knows is good at heart but who struggles through the first steps of death eater initiation out of a sense of duty, a duty to her and his father. She’s the intimate mother figure, yet she’s an antagonist, fundamentally speaking. Fascinating.

These are just some I thought of off the top of my head, I’m sure there are literally hundreds more, from the two guys from the Knightbus to Bathilda Bagshot to Nagini the legend (also wtf happened to her in the Cursed Child?? Nvm, I can’t even get into that shithole right now), and I have to admit that I still love Harry Potter, for its characters and it’s incredible world building, though R*wling is a massive piece of terf-y shit.

It’s important to note that I understand the purpose of flat characters, I understand the purpose of background characters, of undeveloped characters. What I’m pointing out here is that there was a lot of potential in these characters that was largely squandered because R*wling focused her energy on attempting to redeem Snape without a redemption arch, attempting to redeem Dumbledore with an inadequate one, and refusing to properly redeem Draco despite his well-developed arch, for some fucking reason. If you can’t tell, I’m salty, but I’m only salty because I care. Ily, have a good day!!

[pipesflowforeverandever]

If you can do a quick summary of your hymms of struggle au please? I can't read very well and is really long.

No worries!!! I try to tell people that it’s fine if they don’t read it, since it’s so long. Before I get started here, I do want to let you and some other people that might benefit from it that there’s extensions you can get for Google Chrome that’ll read highlighted text to you! As of late I’ve been using that a lot to read fanfics, since I love listening but I need constant visual engagement (video games, videos, etc). I use “Read Aloud: A Text to Speech Voice Reader” and it does a pretty good job!

I’m also starting a podfic of Hymns which you can find here. There’s only one chapter read so far, but I have friends that are recording future chapters and I’ll be working on recording too, now that my illness woes seem mostly cleared up and I can spend my weekends having fun. I got a brand new mic and I’m excited to use it!

Listening to that much in itself is still- y know- a lot, so don’t worry if none of this appeals to you.

So with that all said and done, here’s the summary you wanted. Kind of obviously, spoilers for basically everything about the story.

(This summary did not turn out quick at all so skip to the bold headers if its too much.)

Hymns of Struggle is an AU I started before chapter 4 with it being based only on the canon of chapters 1-3 of the game. It’s about a college-aged woman who falls into the depths of the studio and comes across the circumstances and characters that Henry did before her. But unlike Henry, she becomes convinced that she’s not going to leave anytime soon. So instead of using her willpower to escape- as Henry did- she uses it to survive the experience, especially in an emotional sense. She meets the monsters of the studio and discovers their humanity, and as she holds out hope for them, their bitter perspectives start to turn, and they began to see hope in her in turn. 

Sammy is the first to meet her and treats her not unlike Henry; she is prepared as a sacrifice. However, as the ink demon not only ignores this request but heals her injuries (not really but she’s not dying anymore), Sammy comes to terms with this by begrudgingly taking her as his ward, as the ink demon for whatever reason wants her alive. The woman, of course, sticks with him at first only out of fear and morbid curiosity, but eventually they become friends that have genuine cares for each other. A big plot point is Sammy presenting the ink demon as a god before the woman gets any other impression, and so she’s inclined to view him similarly. The other characters- mainly Alice and the projectionist- have a similar arc with her of reluctance before they view her as empathetically as she views them.

The woman is only named in the fic once Sammy asks, which isn’t for a good 20 chapters or so. 

Gingie (within the fic simply called the usual Joey Drew) is the main antagonist of the story. About half way through it’s revealed that he is still alive, and not physically changed like the rest, and that the others don’t know about it. Francine has to decide whether or not it is good for the studio to keep it this way, although Joey makes his misgivings very clear. The fic from the second half on shifts to this walking on eggshells of what it means to care about others- if it ignores other kinds of morality like lying and condescending, or if you have to be able to brave for the worst even if you could have prevented it by said lying and condescension.

This is played out in the fact that the ink demon towards the very end is revealed to be an extension of Joey’s deepest desires. Joey can’t control him- in fact often does the exact opposite of what he wants- but the demon plays entirely off of what Joey really wants. The demon makes sure Alice stays where she should. The demon made Sammy blind without his mask of faith (literally and figuratively). The demon fights the projectionist if he decides to leave his maze and find Francine when she goes missing. Joey doesn’t want anyone to be hurt. He’s afraid of what he’s made- the studio being a curse born out of a desire to see his son Henry again, that ended up swallowing everyone inside the building and trapping them for 80 some years. They’re inside his world, and he knows it’s terrifying. He stays by himself, trying to keep himself calm, to prevent something like with Henry happening again to the others and now Francine, who still has her own body, blood, and soul to keep from joining the disfiguring ink. 

With Francine there, Joey’s tension builds. He’s both hopeful, as he watches her befriend the others, and he is very, very afraid. It’s not true, but Joey believes Henry is dead from that visit 30 years after he left. He’s so forlorn he can’t bring himself to find his soul in the ink. As Francine finally finds him- the demon bringing her to Joey against the studio itself (another, slightly more controlled extension of Joey’s emotion)- Joey has to decide on the spot to make up a lie that the studio stole his freedom as it stole Sammy’s memory, Alice’s identity, and Norman’s voice. But of course, he wants to know her too. Francine found lovely things in everyone, helped them remember who they were before the ink…who like Joey wouldn’t long for the same?

But as that becomes more and more true with each of her visits, her curiosity about things that don’t make sense become dangerous in his eyes. After Francine pieces together that something must have happened to Henry and Boris (who has never appeared to her), the ink demon abruptly rips her out of Sammy’s arms and at Joey’s feet, where the old man decides that in order to keep what remains of his family- to keep the studio from imploding on itself- she has to stay with him.

With her upset at this, he breaks down and the walls around his chamber fall apart and the others finally see him for the first time. Alice screams at him as he tries to call her his angel, and Sammy breaks down at proof that his god is not at all who he seemed. With everyone all at once screaming at him, Joey uses the curse to push everyone away from him. The remainder of the story is Francine and her friends Sammy and Alice defeating the ink demon, finding out the truth about Henry, and convincing Joey that he can set everyone free after all. In the resolution, everyone becomes human again, Alice/Susie and Francine have their first kiss, and they find Joey curled up and crying in his childhood home, having to come to terms with the fact that he is still alive even after all he had done.

Joey discovers Henry’s daughter, Linda, is still alive and he visits her in a nursing home. Sammy assures Francine that the eyesight he lost in taking his human form again won’t stop him from making her keep the promise she made of showing him every song he’s never listened to.

The series that takes place after is heavily focused on the studio’s survivors recovering from trauma, forgiving, and learning to enjoy themselves. Francine finds herself the caretaker of a real life Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, the young matriarch of people waiting for their surviving families to be found and reunited with them. 

LONG STORY SHORT:

Sammy makes friends with a young woman he tried to sacrifice. His memories are forcefully blocked and she helps him find them again. 

Alice and the young woman gradually fall in love.

Joey is the secret villain who caused the studio to be cursed and transform people into ink. He loves the studio deeply but assumes a parental role that is toxic- and is the reason Henry left long ago.

Francine gets Joey to realize what he’s doing and he sets everyone free into the modern world, where they have to learn how to live again.

OTHER DETAILS:

How the curse happened was that Joey found a spell that would- in his view- reconnect him and Henry forever. The ritual required Henry’s consent and thus failed; it needed a part of him (like hair or blood) and Joey used the first sketch of Bendy instead. This, combined with his mother’s ashes and his own blood, flooded the studio with ink, created the ink demon, and transformed both the building and the people inside it in a symbolic world of Joey’s unstable, tortured emotions.

Joey/Gingie before the studio’s downfall was very jovial and saw the *most* in everyone. He made people want to make him proud, and Joey believed of himself thanks to his mother that he was obligated to only be the best for the world and his loved ones. This results in a mentality that only perfection and ultimate happiness was good enough, which leads him to success and the beloved role of father/grandfather until Henry saw cracks in the man he laid his foundation/life upon and turned tail as soon as it felt unstable for the first time.

The ink demon is in the role of a god. The story is heavily based on Christian/abrahamic views of religion. Joey is the father, the ink demon is the son, the studio is the holy spirit. All the same, yet all different.

The themes are: the importance of names, being empathetic vs being selfishly loving, religion vs faith, and family. Francine is the color pink, Henry is the color blue, Joey/magic is yellow/gold, green represents the world outside and freedom, and black is the ink demon and the curse.

[shade-without-color]

The History of the Brossards Part II: Tristan II and how things fell out.

Note: Well this is the second part of the fall of The Brossards, and oh man things got way too wild. So I kinda borrow that incident from Anne Boelyn’s appearance in the pageant. It is quite a difficult one but I hope it is all satisfying for you to fill in the big gap in its history.

What I can say about Tristan II, and how it relates to Gascon Brossard, aside from that he took on his father’s handsome looks. However, I would attest that he is a man of quiet character. A traveller devoting himself to his ancestral home of Toussaint. For he took himself to serve under a king’s banner- Clovis. A handsome one and wise in his actions, like the Brossards he seems to disapprove the marriage of Princess Meve and King Reginald. For then he let go of Tristan from his duties when a family messenger came to the grounds of the palace to plead Tristan to come back to the estate, as his father requested him to be on his side during his fleeting last days. Of course, then he brought his wife, who was a Toussaint noble lady Sybile expecting their fourth child and their two oldest daughters Etoile and Serephina, and oldest son Marius back to his ancestral lands. I will get by with Serephina’s side much later as her story is tragic and frightening as the fates of the Brossards.

Tristan II came back to the lands, with his appearance weathered by Toussaint sunlight, to the warm welcome to his brother Eudes, as Kais did not hold much admiration for his favoured brother. Nevertheless, they put aside their differences to ease their father to the afterlife.

Thus Tristan II took over family matters, and buried his father in the same tomb as little Jean and Hugues, for they shall be united in death. Titus’ grave, in contrast to his role as the king’s eyes, were decorated rather simply, with only a figure to watch over him until judgement day. King Reginald took the trouble to arrange a lavish funeral for Titus, to the disapproval to Kais and Eudes, as they felt that it should be channelled to rather useful purposes like helping the fellow villages around their land. Nevertheless, all of Titus’ children and grandchildren watch the final moments of seeing their ailing grandfather lying at last, and only Tristan II is grateful for his generous offer. It said that after his father’s funeral that the Brossard brothers slowly drift apart, though they agreed on a few matters. That my friend sparked the seed of its downfall.

For now, I will talk about the sons of Tristan II, and I say he must be proud of them. For Marius, Gwain and Eudes II took up to be at the king’s side like his brothers, watching over the affairs. Marius has a similar temperament to his uncle Kais, sombre and yet sharp, Gwain was a charmer as he was brought into favour by a certain noble lady which he married, with the approval of his father Tristan, and have two young children Tristan III and his daughter Anne, Eudes II, took over his uncle’s position to look over the finances of the family,as he assigned renovation of the family tombs and its lands to be beautiful. It is said that Gwain’s balls and parties are the highlights of the North. Of course, Tristan II did spare no expanse as he brought barrels of wine from Toussaint and strong spirits from Mahakham to quench their guests’ thirst and entertainment so delightful that it made the men forget their trouble of the upcoming wars. It said that laughter and mirth light up the areas and the daughters of Tristan II, Etoile and Seraphina are wonderful hosts to many who come. However what they left is a strong impression of his youngest son, which he nicknamed himself the little pearl- Gascon. Even before we all know him as The Duke of Dogs, the leader of the infamous Strays of Spalla, he was a charming fellow and Tristain II think of him fondly as Hugues, should he survive that horrible disease. He is delightfully charming and witty- to the point that he managed to break a small smile to the stoic Kais. He was also loving to the wolfhounds which are three times his side, Fiorano and Pomino.

You may wonder previously that I mentioned about its tension, between Kais and Eudes, and Serephina, the beloved daughter. I would start simply with a party held by the Brossards, to celebrate Meve’s birthday, then I must add that Serephina is one of Queen Meve’s trusted handmaidens after the passing of Cicely, and recently she caught the attention to many nobles for her exceptional beauty. And oh it shows in a little pageant which all of the ladies dressed as the Queen’s blessings- which Marius, unfortunately, have to witness. And his sister was Preserving and it caught the eye of King Reginald, despite respecting the queen is known by the kingdoms to have many affairs with handmaidens, and she was not spared from his gaze. Throughout the night, he tried his best to get by her side, to the disapproval of Marius. For Reginald took matters by vouching for the ailing Tristain II, for her hand in marriage. In his lucidity, he refused it under the under the speech of Kais, as it will prove grief to Queen Meve. However, he was given some money in the condition that he would depart some men to service for a small war in exchange that his daughter will keep him company. Thus it began a secret affair, which Reginald disguised her as a pageboy to keep eyes away especially to the sharp Kais. It was not too long before he called his assassins to kill off Kais quietly by a cloth covered in poison, and buried him quickly without a grave. It was only one of the Brossards’ hounds to find his body. That started to caused grief to Tristan II, usually charming to grow bitter. He was too late to see Reginald’s cruelty for he was killed much later, as he went for Reginald’s hunting expeditions by a quick blade.

As for Serephina, she was left in the tower, impregnated by Reginald’s child which I cannot say more, as they perished that day, which in turn spread news to all Brossards, furious over her treatment of an innocent woman, for the child and mother were buried without any parting words or memorials. And thus began the rebellion of the Brossards in 1258- for it was a bloody one, and it only left a few in a trial. Marius and Eudes II spoke of the king’s infidelity which most agreed, and even to Queen Meve who was then rendered silent, as Reginald felt that harrowing affairs must not temper a woman expecting child, a royal heir that symbolised the unification of Lyria and Rivia. Of course, the judge overturned their sentence to take away a certain portion of their lands which they accepted it begrudgingly, but alas it did not satisfy Reginald’s vengeance. For he used the Brossards to accept his lust- as propaganda to his soldiers that they turned themselves to the enemy forces. And thus he did not spare any mercy to all. He started that outside, Elenore who was staying happily in Aedrin with her husband and a few grandchildren. For they were brought to a place of comfort to only be drowned by Rivians into the crushing tides of a nearby river. Then Eudes, who was in a study trip in Oxenfurt, he died by poison from a simple tipple of strong spirit. Etoile was deemed the worse, as she was murdered in her sleep.

If you must wonder about the massacre in the Brossard house, Gascon was outside the house, learning how to fence with his favourite lecturer. He was not aware of the murders until he saw all Rivian soldiers wiping the blood from their blades, as they recently killed his brother Eudes II and Marius fighting off the commander, pleading them to spare his life. He will never forget the dazed look of his mother whispering him to run away as fast as he could, with her chest slowly oozing out in blood. The fencing instructor Wolsey, empathetic to the Brossards’ downfall hid the boy quietly in the family cellar which he helped Marius to fight against the murderers. I wish to spare you the details of people even associated with the name, as it was a horrible deed that will stain the conscience of the North.

Soon silence fell upon the mansion, which little Gascon took what remains of his family including a torn off piece of the family crest. He held it with much pain, as he quickly ran away from the gazed looks of those murdered. You may wonder how he becomes the leader to the Strays of Spalla, simple- there are a few orphans staying by the woods neglected by necessity. Gascon used his wit and charm to build terror along the lands and sparing no expanse. He even dropped his last name, as a symbol of a departure of his tragic past when he turned ten summers. No matter how much he tried, he will never forget the looks in his family’s eyes and it will haunt him for his entire life until a certain queen amend her late husband’s pains.

Dear reader, I shall pause its history for you. Do the Brossards deserve such horrors? I do not think so, they served faithfully to the previous king of Lyria and maybe many before which I cannot record. It is just that fate becomes a cruel mistress to a noble family and a king blind in his own human downfalls that caused such pain. As I will write this simply,  how high they rise and yet how low they fall.

[sunshinexlollipops]

You said you played Read Dead Redemption since the first one and I was wondering which one you liked better and why? I'm really considering getting them both (I unfortunately don't have either as of right now) and I was wondering what sold you on the series? Or maybe just the one?

Oh good golly, this is an old ask. I unfortunately didn’t see it until just now, while I’ve been responding to my anon’s as of late! Not sure if you’ve already made a choice, anon, but I can def try and tell ya what you wanted to know when you sent this!

I played rdr1 as a kid when it came out around 2010. I still remember taking apart the packaging and putting the game in for the first time. I was about... 11 or so at the time, so I didn’t care much for the prospect of the storyline, but rather I was excited to tame and ride horses around what seemed like an expansive map set in the dying wild west.

Despite that, I actually became enthralled with the game, much to my surprise. I learned a whole bunch of its quirks (for example, it didn’t matter what you used to hunt with in rdr1, you could just shoot something and skin it. But the animations for skinning were horrendously long, so I figured out that if you stopped your horse over the carcass you wanted to skin, it would do so instantly. it kinda works in rdr2, but I’d be careful, I haven’t quite tested it out.).

I actually came to love John as a character, and I quite enjoyed him. So when my father told me about rdr2 when it was announced, I was over the moon. 

Admittedly though, I wasn’t sold on Arthur Morgan. I didn’t want to play as him, I wanted John. I thought I was going to have to play the game and hate the main character until I eventually passed onto John Marston (I knew even before the game came out that’s the route they were going to take, because 1) it’s a prequel, only so much can be a surprise, and 2) that’s how they went about it with John transitioning over to Jack in rdr1).

But it truly surprised me. Arthur Morgan ended up winning my heart during chapter 1, specifically after you go with Dutch and company to a shootout in an O’Driscoll hideout. The moment in question is when Arthur lassos and kidnaps who we come to know as out beloved Kieran, and he is taking him back to their camp in Colter. What made me go from “fine, I’ll begrudgingly play this man until I can shift into John” was the dialogue between them, when Arthur threatens Kieran for begging, and when he goes “No! Please” or something along those lines, Arthur tells him, “That’s two bones, right there!”

His humor and wit had me falling in love, and just in general, he’s nothing I quite expected. Even in rdr1, when John shines his brightest, he’s definitely not a genius (”YOU EAT BABIES”), and he is not one for emotion. He’s stunted, compared to Arthur.

So imagine how surprised I was to see his journal, to overhear his discussions, to see such a complex character emerge from such a detailed game where optional missions can reveal the biggest secrets of the characters. It’s beautifully orchestrated, and I recommend rdr2 without a doubt.

I also recommend rdr1, but I do have some words of salt to give you: it’s definitely no rdr2. That meaning, it’s an older game, and it’s predecessor, so just keep that in mind. It may seem very hallow and paling in comparison, but the story is still there, and for the time that it came out, it was just as impactful as its prequel. If anything, now you will have more emotion when it comes to rdr1 than before, now having played in the last of the glory days of the Van Der Linde gang.

Please, pick both up. They’re so worth it. And this is coming from someone who doesn’t really play or become a fan of games like this often. It’s such a good series, and Rockstar is one of my favorite developers for it alone!

Hope this helped anon! And, if you already got the game(s), I hope you’ve been having fun!

[lycorogue]

Gabriel Agreste: A 3-Part Character Study

Part 2: My Headcanon for the Life and Thoughts of Gabriel

Hello again. In the first part of this series I explained my thought process as to why I bothered writing this collection of mini-essay/short story. If you missed it, feel free to go back and read that here.

Alternatively, if you want to hop ahead to my re-write of Gabriel Agreste in order to make him a legitimate sympathetic villain, you can find that essay here.

Now, before we continue with this psuedo-story, I want to throw in just a quick reminder-disclaimer. Below is my headcanon on Gabriel Agreste's history, and a sort of personality study under the assumption that he's similar to the man I know IRL and discussed briefly in Part 1. By no means is there any canonical evidence of any of this being accurate. Also, while I'm trying to explain Gabe's behavior and reasoning, by no means am I justifying or condoning it. You may continue to love or hate or love to hate or hate to love Gabriel however you please.

Anyway, check below the break to read my little pseudo-narrative short story on my headcanon history of Gabriel's life prior to us meeting him in the “Miraculous Ladybug” series, as well as my headcanon of his defining personality trait which might explain his behavior towards Adrien, Emilie, Nathalie, and The Gorilla.

Gabriel was a lonely kid. He was an only child. His parents loved him and cared for him, but they never really connected with him. He was never really all that expressive. His parents tried multiple things to bond with him over, but he was most comfortable alone in his room doing his own thing.

At university he remained a loner. He still didn't really make many connections with the other students. He was friendly with his roommate, and was willing to hang out with him and his friends, but none of the friends talked to Gabriel without the roommate there, and Gabe never initiated any interactions with the roommate. Instead, he focused on his artwork and his fashion design.

When Gabriel was about 25 his professor and mentor commented that his designs were uninspired and stale, and wondered what happened. Nothing had happened. Gabriel was just bored with life. His flatmate suggested he try going out into the world, outside his comfort zone, and observe people in order to become re-inspired. Despite himself, Gabriel agreed. He ended up going to the local watering hole by himself, and hid in the corner to try to people watch. Not even twenty minutes into this experiment, Gabriel decided it was a stupid plan and hurried out, only to run into Emilie. Literally.

If you want to read more about how I believe their first interaction went down, you can find it here.

It was an awkward and playful courtship. Outgoing, social butterfly, extroverted Emilie did everything in her power to keep Gabriel on the edge of uncomfortable as a way of broadening his horizon. She took him out to parties, social gatherings, and just public in general. She also allowed him his private time, but tended to make him try new foods, or would hide his favorite colored pencils in order to force him to try different art mediums. He soon discovered that he enjoyed the new medium of digital drawing more than colored pencils, even though he would always love the classic method.

Emilie pushed him, but Gabriel loved that about her. Every time he was down on himself she would pick him up. Every time he wanted to hide and hibernate she would pull him outside. Every time he was so engrossed in his work that he would forget to eat she would drag him to the kitchen to try out a new recipe she found.

Not everything was sunshine and roses though. There were some significant spats between them. With his life experiences, he grew to hate humanity, while she gladly embraced it. She picked on him for “not being nice” while he considered her wildly optimistic and naïve. He was gruff and callous, while she was loving, and strong enough to not put up with his crap. It only kept a couple of months before she could call him out with a glance.

She was so good for him, and he knew it. He appreciated it. And he was amazed that she picked him. He never once took her for granted, nor did he forget that she could have chosen anyone. He knew she had other options, and yet he was the one who lucked out enough to have stolen her heart. He didn't understand her love for him, for he never felt such a strong compassion towards him before. Still, he basked in the warm glow from her, and thanked whatever Greater Power That Be that she was with him.

His hatred for humanity as a whole waned slightly, mostly because Emilie kept showing him the positive. Every time he wanted to scoff, scorn, or dismiss someone he pictured Emilie's disappointed look, and it helped him become better. She became his consciousness. She became his empathy. She became his moral compass and compassion. She made him want to be better; to be the kind man she somehow thought he was.

Simply put: she became his everything. Life no longer was worth living without her. She was his sun and moon. She was his earth and sky. She was his smile and reason. And soon she became his wife.

He was nervous about not giving her the life that she deserved. They were still in a crappy little apartment covered in his drawings and fabric samples. However, Emilie got her start acting in an independent film created by an old school friend: Andre Bourgeois. While on set one day, Andre's fiance Audrey visited and noticed an outfit Emilie was wearing; an outfit Gabriel made her as a birthday gift. Audrey loved it and demanded to know the designer. Emilie excitedly called Gabriel down to the set where he met the upcoming fierce fashion critic. She thought he was the most inspired designer she had ever met, and gushed about him in her latest article in a big-name French fashion magazine.

Gabriel quickly became The Next Big Thing. He got a sense of pride knowing that he could finally provide for his amazing wife, and they enjoyed their time together inside their new mansion. Gabe doted on Emilie, treating her as both an equal and a cherished princess.

It was Emilie who convinced Gabriel to hire an assistant, and she was the one who pointed out the impressive resume of Nathalie Sancoeur. Emilie even listened in on the interview, and instantly loved Nathalie's personality. She figured that Nathalie could be just as good for Gabriel in his professional life as Emilie was in his personal. It didn’t take much for Emilie to convince Gabriel to hire the stoic woman.

Life was great. Gabriel could do the work he had always loved doing, and he could provide for his beloved wife while doing so. Nathalie helping with the day-to-day duties meant Gabe had more time for his wife as well, because what would be the point of all this money if he couldn't spend time with the reason for his waking? They were happy.

Then, when they were in their thirties, Emilie became pregnant. Gabriel didn't know how to respond. He remembered his own parents' failed attempt to bond with him, and he could sense that he'd have the same difficulties. He wasn't a people person. But he could tell how excited Emilie was, and she convinced him that he'd fall in love once he held their child. So he prepared for this new chapter of his life along side his wife.

When Emilie had Adrien she experienced a new level of love. Gabriel, however, did not. He loved Adrien. He truly did. He didn't realize he could care for anyone outside of Emilie, but there was this new and fragile life needing him, and he cared. He knew he would protect this precious little bean with all his might, but he also knew that Emilie is still his number one. She took up too much of his heart. Plus, the two of them created Adrien, while Gabriel and Adrien could never recreate Emilie.

Gabriel felt ashamed at thinking so, but he knew that while Emilie wasn’t replaceable, as long as Gabriel had her, Adrien could be replaced. It would hurt. A new child would never be the same, but at least with Emilie there was hope of returning to this family unit. He could always have another child; he could never have another wife, another love like Emilie.

Life changed more than Gabriel was ready for now that he was a father. More importantly, now that Emilie was a mother. She started pulling away from Gabe. Motherhood became her, and she connected with Adrien in a way Gabriel just couldn’t. Despite himself, Gabe became jealous of his own son. His own precious child. He reminded himself that he loved his son, but in the quiet of his mind he couldn't deny that he also missed the days when it was just him and Emilie.

The trio had family game nights that Gabriel half-heartedly participated in. They had movie nights that consisted of Gabriel working on his tablet or phone until Adrien passed out. Then he'd shift his son on the sofa so that he could have the space to snuggle up to his wife. They had family outings together: Emilie watching Adrien's glee; Gabriel watching Emilie's.

Emilie eventually called Gabriel out on the distance between her boys. Just like when they were dating and she pushed Gabriel to interact with people in order to make friends, she now pushed him to put in more effort to bond with their son. He wanted to. He really did. He wanted to laugh and play with Adrien the way that Emilie did. He wanted Adrien to run to him the way the small boy raced to his mother. More importantly, Gabriel wanted to make Emilie proud of him; to prove that he was the great father she envisioned him to be. So Gabriel started teaching Adrien about hard work, about applying himself, and about fashion.

It worked for a while. Emilie even loved the idea of their gorgeous little Adrien being the face of her husband’s brand. It felt like a great honor and show of love. But soon it just became an obligation, and both men feared breaking the one thing that tied them together. So Gabriel and Adrien begrudgingly continued with the photo shoots and ads. They both knew, however, that the only real glue holding them together was Emilie.

Then, about a year ago, something happened. Emilie is gone. Gabriel couldn’t accept never seeing his sunshine, his purpose for life, anymore, and hid her in the basement. He had no clue how to tell Adrien, and after so many months of hiding Emilie, he can't find a way to let his son now without breaking the boy's heart. Gabriel fears that Adrien knows about his father's jealousy, and would blame him for Emilie. Gabe is already overwhelmed with his own guilt at not being able to protect her. He can’t survive Adrien possibly adding to it. Adrien is his only family now; his only tie to Emilie, the only part of her still warm.

And Adrien looks so much like her. He acts like her too. Gabriel never noticed that before, and it pains him. He can't lose Adrien, he wouldn't be able to survive it. But he also can't bear to be with his son. Adrien is too much of a reminder of Emilie: her grace, her love of life and people, her kindness, her beauty, and her intelligence. Adrien is also too much of a reminder of Gabriel's guilt. Guilt in not keeping Emilie safe. Guilt in hiding her from Adrien, hoping his son would understand once she's with them again. Guilt about being jealous of his son's connection to Emilie, and the attention and part of her heart he took from Gabriel. Guilt about becoming a villain; hoping the ends will eventually justify the means.

He has to get Emilie back, though. There is no other option. He can't be a good human being without her; he doesn't know how. He can't feel compassionate towards others; he only feels hatred, and envy that he can no longer have what everyone else does. No one else's pain could be more than his. The world was simply there to keep him from his life's meaning, and he is determined to get the Ladybug and Cat Miraculouses in order to change that.

Well... that became a lot longer than I originally planned, but I hope it was an interesting character study. Again, I'm not trying to justify or condone Gabriel's behavior; just trying to explain it. Long and short is that I feel Gabriel is at the very least a sociopath, but may be extreme enough to be deemed a psychopath.

Now, granted, I only took two psych classes in college, so I can’t say for sure, but it FEELS like he’s somewhere on the sociopath spectrum. Especially when compared to this quote: 

"The psychopath is callous, yet charming. He or she will con and manipulate others with charisma and intimidation and can effectively mimic feelings to present as "normal" to society. The psychopath is organized in their criminal thinking and behavior, and can maintain good emotional and physical control, displaying little to no emotional or autonomic arousal, even under situations that most would find threatening or horrifying. The psychopath is keenly aware that what he or she is doing is wrong, but does not care.

"Conversely, the sociopath is less organized in his or her demeanor; he or she might be nervous, easily agitated, and quick to display anger. A sociopath is more likely to spontaneously act out in inappropriate ways without thinking through the consequences. Compared to the psychopath, the sociopath will not be able to move through society committing callous crimes as easily, as they can form attachments and often have 'normal temperaments.' . . ."

The quote is from Kelly McAleer, Psy.D, and I found the quote here.

Anyway, there were two more elements of Gabriel’s history that I wanted to put in the above “story,” but I also feel like they would have felt out of place because they didn't specifically showcase Gabriel:

Hiring The Gorilla: I see this happening when Adrien is still about a toddler or so; about age 6 at the latest. The media and crazed fans start becoming too much, and so Gabriel feels the need to hire a bodyguard. Mostly because Emilie refuses to just have Nathalie pick up groceries and the like. She wanted to still go out and experience their city, and take Adrien with, so the couple compromised that she'd have a bodyguard with her. Over the years, though, The Gorilla falls for his charges in a very familial sense. Emilie is like his little sister, and Adrien like his nephew. He loves them and will do anything for them. This love for Adrien is one of the only reasons why he remained in Gabriel's employ after Emilie went missing, especially with the harassment he receives from his employer.  

Adrien's Isolation: In Origins we find out that Adrien has been home schooled his whole life. In Malediktator we find out that not only did Adrien and Chloe use to play together as young kids, but also that she is the only one his age he has ever interacted with. Presumably, he hung out with Chloe because of the proximity to the Grand Paris in relation to the Agreste mansion, as well as the connection between the two families thanks to Emilie. In Mr. Pigeon however, Chloe had to introduce herself to Gabriel and noted that she was the mayor's daughter, not Audrey's. Granted, this is probably because the writers hadn't figured out the familial connection or who Chloe's mother was yet, but in-universe it could be because Chloe only ever saw Nathalie, The Gorilla, and/or Emilie, and she was used to throwing the “my father is the mayor” weight around. Anyway, my point being that Adrien could have been the face of Gabriel's clothing line since he was a toddler, and so his parents feared having a celebrity child in public schooling. The oddity though, was that Adrien's name was on Mrs. Bustier's class roster, Chloe knew he would be in her class, and Adrien attempted to get to the school that first day – as seen in Origins. I don't know if it's different in France, but in America a guardian has to register you for school, which means someone had to register him for Mrs. Bustier's class. Gabriel clearly didn't want him to go, and Nathalie didn't seem to be the type to sign him up behind Gabriel's back. Because of this, I believe Emilie was still around during the summer break between the school years, and had decided that Adrien was ready to get back out into the world and make more friends. She probably signed him up and let him know, explaining that he'd have Chloe in his class so he wouldn't feel alone. Adrien was probably ecstatic about this, and talked to Chloe about it. Then, when Emilie... well, whatever it is that happened to her... Gabriel panicked. He couldn't chance losing Adrien, and so he changed his mind about the public schooling. The decision wasn't made soon enough to cancel the registration with the school though, which is why he was still expected that first day. Nathalie probably convinced Gabriel to let Adrien go by invoking “it's what Emilie wanted.”

Anyway, as I mentioned in Part 1 of this series, I had come up with an alternative way of writing Gabriel's character. One that would make him legitimately a sympathetic villain. One that won't be abusive towards Adrien, at least, intentionally. One that could actually make the eventual battle between the Agreste men even more heart wrenching. A way to write Gabriel that could have added so much depth to the overall drama and dynamic of the show.

If you would like to see my thoughts on this re-write, I'll see you at Part 3 of this series.

[theladyofdeath]

Kings and Queens {Chapter 1}

Summary: Six students, from six different cliques, are trapped in the same room  for Saturday detention. They cannot stand one another, but find that they are not all that different. Inspired by The Breakfast Club (1985), characters from Sarah J Maas’ Throne of Glass series.

Author’s Note: I’m so excited about this story, and I cannot wait to see what you guys think! Enjoy. Without further adieu, I present Kings and Queens.

You can find previous chapters here.

Dorian.

7:45 a.m.

“I’m so ashamed of you, Dorian.”

“I know, dad. You’ve mentioned multiple times this morning.”

It was the first thing he said to me after I woke up, showered, pulled on my pale red sweater and khaki pants, and made my way, begrudgingly, into the den.

My son has to go to Saturday detention, he had said. What a fucking joke. We thought you were smart, now you’re nothing more than a screw up.

He didn’t let up as I sat at the breakfast nook and ate a bowl of cheerios, as I got in the car and tried my best to tune him out.

It was the first snowfall of the year, though, forcing us to drive slower than usual. I found myself wondering what I had done to deserve such punishment. I kept glancing over at my father, who was hunched over the wheel, his knuckles white from his furious grip on the leather.

“Did you bring your calculus homework?” he asked, the first thing he’d said that wasn’t meant to scold me.

“Yes,” I replied, curtly.

“You have an English paper due on Monday.”

“I know, dad.”

Deep breaths, I reminded myself. It won’t do you any good to lash out on him, Dorian. Just take it. He cannot break you.

We rode the rest of the way in silence. When we pulled into the parking lot, I was not surprised to find that I was the first to arrive.

Well, me and Headmistress Maeve.

Dad stopped the car just outside the gym’s main entrance, and I hesitated, which was apparently a mistake.

“You’re not getting out?” he spat. “If you’re going to do stupid stuff, Dorian, you have to deal with the consequences. Let this be a lesson. Be better. Do better. Make good choices.”

He said my name as if it were a curse.

Without another word, I climbed out of the ancient Toyota and closed the door behind me, softly, when all I wanted to do was slam it in his face.

I didn’t have the guts.

He drove away before I was inside.

The school was empty, practically a ghost town. I took my time walking to the library, which was typically my favorite place to be. If I was being honest, I would have rather spent my day in detention in the solitude of the library than be home, listening to my dad bitch at me for no reason.

Perhaps it was his own downfalls that made him resent me so much. Or, maybe I was a poor excuse for a son. Maybe he wanted a jock, a son who could throw a football and win trophies for the mantle.

More often than not, I figured it was the latter.

Headmistress Maeve was nowhere to be found, which was something I was grateful for. She liked me okay, but overall, she was a mess of a woman. She hated her job, and everyone could tell. She hated the students, the faculty, and most of all, she hated overlooking detention.

She hated the screw-ups. Which I had never been until that bleak, snowy morning at the end of November.

I had never been in detention before, had never even received a warning. I was walking into a new, dangerous territory as I entered the deserted library.

The room stood two stories high, with shelves of books lining every wall from the floor to the ceiling. A tall statue of the first King and Queen of Adarlan, Gavin and Elena Havilliard, whom our school was named after, stood in the middle of the room in pure, gleaming gold.

That’s the kind of greatness my father was hoping I would achieve. Pure royalty. Bravery. World-changing and life-altering greatness.

No wonder he was so disappointed.

I unpacked my backpack at one of the long, wooden tables that sat in front of the statue: my calculus book, my laptop, and a brown paper sack that held the lunch mom had packed me. All the while, the tick-tock­ of the clock clicked loudly from behind me.

Five minutes until eight, and I was still the only one there. With shaky fingers fiddling my pencil, I constantly checked the door. Surely, I was not the only one sentenced to detention. I guess I should have expected as much, as most of these people did not end up in detention for being grade-A students. What was lateness when you were shoving kids in lockers and telling your teachers to fuck off?

Just as I finished the thought, the door to the library creaked open, and my breath caught in my throat.

Aelin Galathynius, self-proclaimed princess of Havilliard High. My gut twisted as she gave me a quick once-over before being seated at the table in front of mine. Her jeans were tight, practically painted onto her skin, and a low cut, black tank top hung from her shoulders once she removed her coat. I had to remind myself not to stare as she brushed her fingers through her long, golden hair.

I opened my mouth to say hello, but nothing came out. It was probably better that way. I needn’t embarrass myself so early in the day.

Less than a minute later, the door opened once more. A tall boy, who looked far more like a man than I did, wearing a heavy, gray hoodie walked in. His hood was up, but I knew who he was immediately by his stature, by his black, leather boots.

Rowan Whitethorn.

Rowan had a reputation at Havilliard, one that no one dared to test. Some said he was simply a bully, while others said he was a criminal and made bets at what age he would be arrested and imprisoned. I, personally, had never had a conversation with him. Although, I didn’t think that most people had. Most of us were too afraid to come within spitting distance of the guy.

Before the door could shut, a hand reached in and pulled it open. Great, I sighed, internally, at the next attendee. Aedion Ashryver, quarterback, beloved my females and hated by my group of friends….only because we often got shoved into the lockers by him or one of his teammates, or mocked in the locker room for not being as….blessed…..as them.

Aedion sat next to Aelin, his cousin, shrugged off his letterman jacket, and nudged her in the ribs as Rowan sat at the table next to mine, refusing to acknowledge our existences.

And, just as the clock struck eight, a girl whose name I couldn’t remember slipped through the door, as if she were nothing more than a shadow. She wore a long, black, baggy dress and had her brown hair hanging loosely, as if she wanted to hide her face with the strands. She sat alone at the table in front of Rowan, and laid her head gently down on its surface.

“If Maeve doesn’t show up in two minutes, I’m leaving,” Aedion declared, making Aelin chuckle. “Although, I can’t imagine she has anything better to do on a Saturday.”

“Neither do you,” Aelin joked, giving him a wink.

“That is not true,” Aedion protested. “There’s a party tonight that I’m helping prepare for, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Do you enjoy hearing yourself talk?”

It took me a second to realize the last comment had come from none other than Rowan. His words were slightly accented, something I had never known. Was he not from Adarlan?

“Yes,” Aedion replied, an arrogant smile plastered on his lips. “Most people do.”

The girl with no name looked up then, and shot Aedion a glare that made me cower.

Rowan laughed – a short, bitter, mocking sound. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Ashryver.”

Aedion’s smile faltered, and pure rage consumed his features. But, before he could reply, the door swung open and we all fell silent at her presence.

Headmistress Maeve.

“Welcome to Saturday detention,” she said, stopping in front of our tables. “You may all rest easy knowing you are the worst this school has to offer. Congratulations.”

None of us made a comment, which she enjoyed judging by the look on her face. Maeve was not unattractive, and I hated myself for acknowledging the fact. Her long, brown hair was in a tight bun on the top of her head. She wore a tight, black pencil skirt and a button-down blouse that had one button too many undone.

“Here are the rules,” she sighed, taking each of us in. “No talking. You will stay in this room until four this afternoon. You may not leave this room for any reason. I will be expecting an essay of what you all learned while being in detention. If it is not written and finished by four, you will be staying here until it is. Is that understood?”

When we all remained silent, she took that as acceptance and continued, “Lastly, you are not to bother me for any reason. I have important matters to tend to, is that clear?”

Silence.

“Is that clear?” She raised her voice, forcing us all to respond with, “Yes, Headmistress.”

“Very good,” she purred before turning on her heels and exiting, shutting the door behind her with a bang. We heard her key enter the socket, and the lock slide in before her footsteps trailed down the hallway.

“Great,” Aelin muttered. “We’re prisoners.”

“What if I have to pee?” Aedion asked, throwing his hands in the air.

“Oh, there are bathrooms in the back of the library,” I answered. My first words.

They all looked at me.

Aedion blinked, then asked, “Dylan, isn’t it?”

“I – um, Dorian, actually. But, that’s okay.”

Rowan scoffed from where he was sitting. “Look at you, trying to earn his affection. Pathetic.”

“I – I wasn’t…” I began shaking my head, but fear struck me at his hard gaze. “I was just letting him know where the restrooms-“

“You’re scaring the kid,” Aedion shot Rowan a glare of his own. “Back off, Whitethorn.”

We’re the same age, I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut.

“This is going to be an interesting day,” Aelin muttered.

For the first time, me and the princess of Havilliard High agreed on something.

[nol-overwatch]

Writer’s Callus, Chapter One

I finally wrote fanfiction hurrah

Fandom: Durarara!!, Baccano

Pairing: Shizuo Heiwajima / Original Female Character

Tags: Mystery, Romance, Drama, not too sure what else to put without it spoiling too much.

Synopsis:  A foreigner visits Ikebukuro for the first time. She's only supposed to be there for a few days and then return home, but this is Ikebukuro after all. The city of gang violence, flying sign posts, and unorthodox sushi. Those aren't the only things keeping her entranced; it's when she met a certain blond in a bartender's outfit, that she started wanting more out of her mundane life.

You can read it here on AO3 and FanFiction.

---

'How would you feel if I walked up to you one day

And ripped your heart out?'

The interior of the sedan was silent save for the muffled tunes blasting from the young woman's headphones. Instead of waking up, however, she continued sleeping, her head lolled against the bulletproof glass as she peacefully snored. The three other men in the car sweatdropped at this. "I told her to sleep in early." One of them, a large burly man who could hardly fit in the driver's seat, grumbled as he looked behind his shoulder to scowl at her indecent appearance.

Beside him, on the passenger seat, was an older gentleman wearing a dark blue suit, his eyes closed but his brows deeply furrowed to the point of sharing the same scowl as his brother. He didn't say a word, however, as his hands remained equally busy, shuffling a worn out deck of cards with ease. He let out a soft hum after hearing another snore from the back.

A chuckle breaks this monotonous atmosphere, as the last man sitting next to the woman stared at her with the slightest bit of mirth in his cold hazel eyes. "Give it a rest, Berga," His mouth curled into a slight smirk. "She didn't show it, but she was pretty excited for today." He said, just as the huge man in the green suit, Berga Gandor, huffed and leaned back on his seat. The car in front of them finally moved, as the traffic started to budge towards the airport.

"Wake her up anyway, Luck, we're almost here." He said as the one in the brown suit sitting next to her, Luck Gandor, gingerly tapped her shoulder.

"Ren? Come on, Ren, wake up." He shook her shoulder when it looked like she was resisting him. Her messy auburn locks parted to reveal her grimacing face. "Wake up or you'll be late for your flight." Luck persisted, and finally he looked relieved when she decided to open her eyes; dull green orbs flitting through her drowsy countenance. The man smiled at that, and patted her shoulder. "Good morning, Ren."

"Hmm," She rubbed her eyes and yawned into her hand. "G'morning. We're there already?" She mumbled as the two in front offered their own versions of confirmation. Berga's annoyed huff, and Keith, the eldest brother, nodding seriously. She glanced towards her side to see Luck smirking at her and felt an auburn brow arch. "What? What is it?" She sounded angry, but really, she's not. This is exactly how she treats, and was treated, by the Triumvirate Dons of the Gandor Family.

Or at least, she calls them her illegitimate family of two years. "No, it's nothing really." Luck tapped his chin and stared out the darkly tinted window, hiding his smirk. "This just feels like a father seeing his beloved daughter off, probably to get married." He said in a faraway, almost singsong voice that's so unlike his character. The remaining people in the car (except for Berga, whose squinting eyes stayed on the road) gaped at him in disbelief.

It was Keith who broke the silence, by heaving into what sounded like a groan, followed up by Ren, slapping her face to massage the incoming annoyance. "You are the least likely person I'm hearing that shit from, Luck. Besides, it's a funeral not a wedding, so don't get your hopes up thinking you're gonna kick me out already." She then grinned at him as she pulled down her headphones to rest on her neck.

"Who knows? Maybe you'll actually find a reason to stay this time." The handsome man shrugged. That faraway look on his face seemed much more serious than she thought.

"As if." She tried reassuring him. "There's nothing back there for me. My real family's here, and I'm very much satisfied with this." Ren then gestured to everyone else in the car, where Berga let out a loud 'ha' and Keith nodded quite enthusiastically.

Luck didn't reply, and was busy staring out the window. Ren didn't think he'd be the one to be so hung-up on this. She expected the bigger, more doting brother to at least protest at her leaving for Japan, but Luck was the one who's obviously most worried about this. They eventually calmed down when the eldest of the Gandor brothers finally agreed to let her go on her own.

She smiled at the thought of them worrying for her. They really are her family...

They were nearing the airport as the young woman felt a knot tighten in her stomach. She's really, really leaving. On her own this time. She's excited as well as terrified. She never traveled on her own, for very valid reasons, and she hasn't seen her real blooded family in a long time as well. Ten years, in fact. "We're here." Berga said after he parked the sleek black sedan and unclasped his seat belt. "Go get her a trolley, Luck, I'll take her bags out."

The four of them got out of the car, as Luck went on ahead for a trolley, and Berga busied himself with her luggage at the back. Ren walked over to stand beside Keith, who gazed at her still with the unflinching furrowed brow. "I'll be fine, Keith. Don't worry." She tried reassuring him, but his gaze didn't falter. Ren knew this was his own way to show that he cares, but she's a grown woman for heaven's sake.

Then again, he and everyone else in the Family have their own reasons to worry about her.

The youngest Gandor returned with the luggage cart, and Berga finally settled her bags on it. Ren turned to face the three, her grip onto the metal bars a little too tight as she tried to calm her nerves. "So, this is it." She jokingly said, trying to lighten up the mood. But she can see in their eyes otherwise.

"You have your diary with you, right?" Luck started, his gaze immediately landing on her bulging hand-carry, where she patted it thoughtfully.

"Yup, it's here."

"When you get into trouble, don't hesitate to call us immediately, okay?" Berga sternly reminded her, where she ended up giggling.

"Yup, I will."

"...Take care of yourself, Ren." Came the quiet, sudden words from Keith, surprising the three. The young woman could feel tears finally threatening to spill from her green eyes, as she promptly hugged the man, who in turn, froze up at the sudden contact, but then wrapped his arms around her in the end.

"Thank you, and I will..!" The auburn haired woman sniffled as they parted, her grin a wide and teary one. "I'll bring you guys back some souvenirs! I promise!" Keith smiled a tiny smile and nodded at her, one of the rarest sights in the world, and Ren instantly felt better.

She grabbed onto the bar of her cart once again and started wheeling it in the airport, turning back once to wave at the three towering figures at the entrance. It'll be a while until she can see them again, but she knows, deep down in her heart, she'll come back.

Once checking in to her airline and sitting down at the waiting area for her flight, Ren Shiori unzipped her hand-carry and took out a worn-looking leather journal. She whipped out a pen from her pocket and started writing a reminder to herself, that once she settles in her hotel at Ikebukuro, she has to call them.

----

Shizuo Heiwajima is having another one of those off-days.

The blond(dyed) man stood stock still, smoking his second cigarette, as he felt a headache incoming. He's been like this for a while, so obviously it's not because of the whiny businessman that Tom-san's been trying to cooperate with for the past hour. Even so, the blond can't help but grind his teeth onto the butt of his cigarette; his grating voice was hurting his ears.

"-as I said, you need to pay up-"

"No, not yet! I told you the money's with my girlfriend now!"

Shizuo's brow ticked incessantly. The two were being fed the same excuse as last time. His boss, Tom Tanaka, sighed off to the side as he was also getting annoyed. "Look, you told us that yesterday-"

"And I keep telling you, it's not with me, it's with the love of my life!"

Shizuo's finally had enough. He bent the unforgiving cancer stick and snuffed it out with the heel of his shoe, his shaking hands already grabbing a fistful of that businessman's shirt and easily lifting him off the ground. "Ah..! Aa-ah!" The man yelped as he thrashed wildly, his shoes barely touching the concrete. Passerby stared, but in reality, there's nothing that they can do against this man, considered to be the strongest in Ikebukuro.

Tom would've stopped his bodyguard, if not the current situation. They've been trying to get this guy to return the loan he'd been hawking for the past several weeks, but he always found a way to elude them. Well, now that Shizuo's finally grabbed him, he might as well take this opportunity to finish the job. "Thought I don't need to tell you this, but let me give you a refresher anyways." Tom coldly said as the blond damn near growled at the guy.

"This here is Shizuo Heiwajima, sounds familiar to you?" The man's eyes grew wide and bulged in its sockets with fear as he continued. "If you don't pay us up right now, Shizuo's going to-"

"A-alright, alright! I get it, I'll pay you your damn money!" The man cried out as he fruitlessly tried to get the man dressed in a bartender outfit to put him down. He still looked pissed, but in Tom's case, he's pretty satisfied with his answer.

He pulled back and nodded to Shizuo, "Alright, shake him and let's get out of here."

After the businessman begrudgingly returned the money, Tom swiftly collected it and he and the blond walked away from the bar. The other shook off his initial annoyance by lighting up another cigarette, while offering a light to his employer. "Thanks, hey, you didn't cause any collateral damage this time!" The man in the dreadlocks grinned at him, a seemingly proud tone evident in his voice.

He grabbed the offered lighter and pulled up his own, just as Shizuo took a long drag, relishing that addicting nicotine taste. He's got to admit, he's quite proud of himself for holding back this time. He still did his job properly, and he didn't go overboard with his strength again. Nobody got hurt too, well, maybe except for that poor sucker he scared the shit out of him earlier.

He and Tom walked away from Sunshine 60 and reached the park, Nishiguchi, where the majority of this city's populace hang out after a long day of work or school. Office workers on their way to the local bars, students hanging out with their friends, but Ikebukuro is notorious for many things, one of them being its rebellious youth forming color gangs. Gangs who act like the city is theirs to own, draped in the colors of their faction. A while back, there were two prominent color gangs who terrorized the streets of Ikebukuro.

Shizuo narrowed his eyes as they walked past a group of punks loitering by the fountain. They stood out like a sore thumb, even in this smog filled city, because of the colors they're wearing. "Seems that the Yellow Scarves still go around wearing their colors, huh?" Tom seemed to have sensed his hostility, and has shared it as well. "Dumbasses really don't have anything to do with their life."

The Yellow Scarves. Once or twice for the past couple of years, he'd been invited to join them. Either that or the Blue Squares, the other prominent gang in this city that has since disbanded, would extend a hand knowing his reputation, and each time they did he'd flat out reject them. He finds it troublesome, as if one color gang isn't enough for him.

He and Tom spent a few minutes just talking amongst themselves, the dreadlocked man reminding the blond to drop in early for work, while Shizuo surveyed his surroundings without thought. There's the usual street performer, the same group of guys playing shogi, a couple of highschool girls giggling at something on their phones. The smell of his cigarette smoke, beer and fried food, the smog clouding the night sky, the traffic in the distance, Ikebukuro hasn't changed, not one bit, and he hoped it would stay that way. At least, he'd like this kind of peace to remain as is without some raven haired flea ruining it for him.

It was only then his eyes lazily trailed around that he spotted something unfamiliar. Amidst the hustle and bustle, there was a figure sitting by the fountain, their long legs crossed with a book on their lap. They didn't strike Shizuo as anyone special or different, although their wavy auburn hair was a shade deeper than the rest of the people here, and that they wore clothes designed to blend into the background, but it's not those things that caught his attention immediately.

He felt as if time slowed to a brief stop as he stared. It was only for a moment, but he was sure he saw it; a dull, bottle green color flitting past those ochre brown locks framing their face. That was the first time he's ever seen someone with an eye color like that. 'A foreigner?' He thought, but they looked Japanese. He's not even sure if they're a guy or a girl. Must be one of those pampered pretty boys who wear colored contact lenses for god-knows-why.

He must've been staring for too long, that Tom decided to follow his gaze, curious as to what grabbed his bodyguard's attention for more than a minute. "You know that guy?" He asked out loud, spotting the figure by the fountain as well. Shizuo blinked and then shook his head, adjusting his purple-tinted glasses in a hurry. "Nah, it's nothing." He muttered as he threw away his cig. It's odd, he doesn't feel like smoking and standing around now.

Seeing this, Tom must've understood it's time to head home. He put out his cigarette too, sighing as he felt the day's fatigue weighing down his shoulder, "Well, I'm out. Take care of yourself, Shizuo." He said as the blond nodded.

"Yeah, you too, Tom-san."

Shizuo watched him walk away while he unflipped his phone, checking the time. He didn't think it's gotten so late, his stomach growled just thinking of what to eat on his way home. Russia Sushi would be good, regardless of how unusual it tastes.

Speaking of unusual…

Shizuo glanced back at the figure by the fountain. They were still sitting there, but this time they were reading the book they had on their lap with a calm interest. He took this time to completely survey their person—out of curiosity of course. It's early spring, so he could understand that it's still a bit chilly, but this one's wearing a khaki trench coat, the collar pulled up to hide their neck. Underneath is a plain white shirt, along with a pair of dark slacks and pointed heeled boots. Yup, they definitely look the part of a pampered rich kid. Everyone else has their nose pressed onto a phone, all except for this guy, whose nose is stuck on that book of theirs. Maybe that's why they caught Shizuo's interest. People like this one would often get into trouble in a city like this.

From where he's standing, he couldn't see their eyes again, and for some reason that bugged him to no end.

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

you know what who cares about clarity? have an incoherent ramble about pb, how she treats lemonhope, a couple parts about lemongrab, and proof that phlannel boxingday is the best Dad™ in the entirety of adventure time below the cut

I would die for phlannel boxingday he's so good for lh he is the Best father in the entire series and I almost cRied about it

there's a lot of shitty dads in advtime and a lot of dads that could do better but aren't like malevolent, and there's also phlannel, the best damn guy with the kindest fucking heart in the entire show, and he kills giant sentient birds for a living

Listen h

Wait am I about to cry rant about the one off character again

Yeah here goes he was so good he. I mean. I mean. He's so patient and understanding and gentle and lh nEEDS that h he was fucking broken up in his home and then pb spirited him away and put the fate of his entire family on his shoulders and treated him like he was Very Smart And The Chosen One But Would You Just Fucking TRY. and phlannel grabs him away and goes look. you're a good kid. and maybe you can save your family. but you can't beat yourself up over it, you can't put all that weight on your shoulders. you are able to go save them if you want but you are one of many champions in this world, and someone else will do it if you can't. and until then I'm going to keep you fed and clothed and be a person you can come to with anything, because I have no ulterior motives. I really literally don't. 

and every t ime he talks to him he talks low and gentle, he points things out like how he IS a smart kid he REALLY is he just learns differently, he doesn't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do like every other adult figure in his life has up to this point. he knows he has nightmares so obviously lh feels safe enough w him to talk to him about things like that, or he just pays attention and like. knows he keeps waking up screaming and instead of going "ha that's fine," he goes "kids shouldn't be waking up screaming so I'm going to keep an eye on it," he picks up on lh's concerns and gently tells him it isn't his fault when he drops things,

Like ok here's my thing. I know first impression pb is rly nice, yadda yadda I wrote a whole thing (didn’t post it tho lmao) abt how the Ugly Candy People seem to be the worse off ones and that might be her doing if it isn't just coincidence, and I don't feel like getting into that. but . here's my thing abt the lemonhope two parter and pb

Like first off I'm still pissed she put him in a Special School like. how transparent can you be. she's playing favorites and she's raising him for a specific purpose of being a champion. but it's not like, extracurricular champion school, bc she's clearly trying to also teach finn geometry. or maybe she's just. 

Idk but it seems really fucjibg phony. like. just set him up in a school where he can socialize and learn in an environment structured for teaching and socializing. I know lemon ppl don't Get Along With Others but like. singling him out is just. mmmmm don't like that

Anyways so that's one thing but like. she seems to be such! a nice and understanding lady right? she's soft and sweet and she's dangerous when she needs to be, but like. I know we all know she's kind of a dick and she monitors everyone in her kingdom closely to the point of creepiness, etc etc we know. but like. u know what really gets me in the lh two parter is just. how ......inconsiderate? she is maybe? 

like . yeah she wants to fix what went wrong (lg’s cannibalism and like tyranny etc). she can't or won't do it herself ('can't' meaning she's legally not allowed to, but what the fuck is lg gonna do to her? she can destroy him with a fucking flick of her wrist and literally the only person gaining anything from him locking up his kingdom on every legal level possible is himself if that, and we all know his earldom is quite literally overpopulated.So she has nothing but principle stopping her from barging in and demanding he stop, to protect all the other citizens he's hurting. He'll do anything she asks. like maybe once it got bad he wouldn't, maybe he started to realize she never cared about him and she never would, but honestly even if he did start to realize that, if she fucking walked in the door and said she needs to talk he'd be putty in her fingers. he'd listen and do everything she asks of him, and none of the lemon people are gonna fuvkinh stop her. they either know to fear her from lg or stories or experience, or they just know she's their boss's boss, so to speak, and would deliver her right to lg or just let her pass. Right? unless lg has them on orders to like. kill on sight or something. but those poor kids aren't any match for pb and pb's no idiot, she'd take backup or she'd straight up murder them. there's literally no reason for her to not go. she's gonna respect politics now? NOW? She's a fucjibg monolith and she does whatever the fuck she wants no matter what kingdom she's walking into, and now that her son is hurting every single person he's ever loved, NOW she decides she Can't Just Interfere? Fuck you) but uh since she can't/won't do it herself she needs lh to. ok. fine. But like. over and over she repeatedly treats him poorly, like...... like yeah ok she isn't Being Mean but. idk. you take a scared little kid out of his abusive family, then you repeatedly make him see what his siblings are going through now that he's gone, and tell him over and over that it's up to him to make them stop being hurt?

The lemon people are all just babies ? like ok they're not BABIES they're their own ppl but . but they're. so young of COURSE they believe what pb said and what lg2 said, that lh needs to come back for them; HE got away, so so can they, and he's gonna be the one to do it. They're poetic and tragic like the fire kingdom, but grittier and less pretty and performative. of course they'd latch onto the only hero they were given.

but like. to lh it was probably more like. this lady came and took me away from my family so they'd stop hurting me, but she left all my siblings behind, and now she's telling me I have to be the one to save them? lmao no you do it yourself. you did it once you can do it again.

so uh

so lh's adult interaction so far seems to have been like. 

wait was he one of the ones they made originally or is he a second gen lemon person/ someone lg2 made with lollipops like in that one fanfic 

assuming he was in the FIRST BATCH because I'm mean I guess, his adult interaction has been two people who adore me with all their hearts but can't figure out how to feed me-> probably some affection in here somewhere bc he had to get that harp from someplace -> guy who fucking electrocutes us and other guy who's too scared to stop him -> oh shit what the fuck -> lady who got me out of that situation but won't save my siblings and keeps pretending I'm someone I'm not

u know what, I think that's her whole problem

she made lg to be her heir, that's good, but he didn't act how she expected and she couldn't figure out how to support him, so she sent him away (much as I like to say she did it bc like. neddy was antisocial and scared of ppl too and he was ok if he was kept alone so maybe that was all lg wanted too,,,,, like there was still no reason to throw him at the very fucking edge of ooo aight. get him a house in the grasslands or something.). she tried to help him, realized she was making it worse and actually hurting him, so she tried to help again and it worked, bc all lg wanted was to be loved and not to be told over and over (symbolically) that he was REALLY unwanted, but still begrudgingly needed bc he's the only heir to the throne. so getting a friend who wouldn't hate him for who he was was all he wanted. so she did good and kinda let it be for a while. 

but he also really wanted his mothers love, and he tried to act like her so she'd appreciate him or even notice him. so he makes kids for her, he realizes this makes him and his brother happy (HAPPY), and can't stop doing it because he's alone with his brother and their newborn children and no one's telling them to stop. she fixes it, she lets it be.

He's still unwanted. she still hates him. she hates ppl who don't act how she wants them to. she HATES the duke of nuts whose only crime is eating her pudding (possible she hates him bc he's just So Good And Kind, too, and it's fishy), she clearly doesn't treat all her citizens equally (do you see how trashed some of the backstreets are? I mean maybe people are just smashing them faster than she can fix them, but like. I don't know. I don't feel good about it.), she won't fucking talk to the literal heir to her throne (i don’t thiiink he’s been replaced yet?) except when he makes a mess and needs someone to help him fix it. and then she does it as minimally as possible. she sends fnj to fix it or smth. she just. Really wants nothing to do with her failures I guess. maybe that's it. he woke up screaming and needing things other candy people don't need, and she called him her own personal failing. maybe she feels like she let him down by not making him so he could be happy in her kingdom. maybe she blames herself but instead of working with him and supporting him, she gives him anything he asks for and otherwise avoids contact with him like the plague. 

Anyways so what she wanted was a cute, competent candy person to take her throne right? and she goes to his kingdom and she wanders around and like. no one here is her kind of normal. they're all ugly and deformed and squawky and everything's yellow. and to lg and lg everything is BEAUTIFUL, those are their beloved babies that they risked their lives to have, but she doesn't know that, she just knows that MAN those lgs are weird, and when I try to help them, they get mad and lash out at me.

by her first failed experiment she means the first one that made her feel like she was capable of making mistakes that ruin lives. like even if we call that one comic canon, with that Sweet Pink Goop she made before lg, that goop didn’t seem sentient, let alone capable of feeling the consequences of being alive and different from the other candy people

she looks around and she tries to figure out what she doesn't understand. right? in too old. like maybe getting away from them and looking around their house will give her insight into why her heir won't just act like her, won't just be normal and quiet and do what she expects people to do, why she can't figure out how to help him without making him angry (and scared and hurt), figure out what it is HE expects, because he's a person too.

And she finds someone who ISN'T deformed or ugly or weird, she finds someone who honestly wouldn't be out of place (looks wise) in her candy kingdom. and he's bemoaning his unfair treatment and he's dressed in rags and he's alone and he's young and he's talented. 

And he's what she meant to make in the first place. Someone soft and cute, but with whatever traits she'd been looking for in an heir, presumably. someone who can rule a kingdom decently in her place, even better than her, i have my own hcs about that lmao. he’s someone who doesn't flinch when she touches his shoulder, who doesn't have such a cold stare, or such a shrill and uninviting voice. he's small and he's young and he's soft and he's talented and he's being mistreated

and like. she saw other kids getting publicly electrocuted and she saw lg hitting his brother and she saw the fucking evidence of really violent mistreatment, and she went ":/" until she saw someone who she could sympathize with.

and lh isn't who she thinks he is. He's a lemon person, he's Lemongrab's son (or... grandson or like. nephew. I don't know. young relative or like juvenile member of his species.) he's not a candy person, but he looks like one. he's symmetrical and visually healthy. so she gets maternal and concerned, because now it doesn't look like lg's hurting people she doesn't want to even look at let alone worry about (asshole). now to her it looks like he's neglecting and harming a young kid. And they're all young kids, they're all pretty new, they're all people and they're all being hurt. but she can't bring herself to care what he does so long as he’s hurting people she doesn’t care about, that's his business; when she gets involved he threatens to kill her or he upsets her people or whatever. but when she sees someone who looks like a person, who looks like a person of hers, who looks like a kid and who looks like a healthy kid being abused (chubby and healthy but tattered and shock collared and locked in a bathroom, as opposed to like. another lemon person walking around in nice clothes and a shock collar) she gets him out

and she plays on his feelings, she goes, you're the kid I always expected to raise. you're the kid I was supposed to raise to become a shining champion of my kingdom. I made lg, and he turned out wrong and I dropped him as far off the face of the earth as I could, and now I have Finn to be my champion. but you, you need to be great, still. you need to be my shining star. You need to go back and do what lg2 told you to do in his Fuvking Dying Breaths, because like, suddenly me and him are on the same page I guess. 

I don't super blame lg2 for putting all that on lh's shoulders tbh. He's not much older than the kids, really, and like I said, they're all poetic and tragic. and lg2 was getting eaten too so like can you really blame him for anything at that pt. he doesn't know pb really, all his interactions with her were probably Not Bad but lg hates her and would also do anything for her so lg2 probably hates her a little by association. You're the one who hurt my brother and hurt him and hurt him and hurt him, why should I trust you to come get my children away from a dangerous situation? how do I even know if you consider this a dangerous situation? glob for all he knows she electrocutes her people too when they don't please her. for all he knows this is normal.

actually no I give him more credit than that. he might not know if pb considers it normal or not but the fact that lg fucking destroys his spirit when just months ago he was telling him he was the best thing in his entire life, yeah, he knows hurting your kids isn't normal, he knows hurting your life partner isn't normal, he knows maybe how lg came to this conclusion, but he won't tolerate it if he can help it

Anyways I love him?

so in conclusion pb treats lh like he's a candy person when he's NOT, and phlannel boxingday is the absolute purest most wholesome character to ever walk into that fucjibg TV series and he's the only one who treats lh the way he needs to be treated - like a person, like a smart person, like a person who's been abused and been put on a pedestal, like a person with his own needs and experiences that are different from maybe what you'd expect or wish. That's my conclusion. It's 11 fucking pm I need my dam slEEP

real quick summary bc I think I see where I was trying to go with this long ramble: pb's inconsiderate in that she treats him like a gifted candy person, not a gifted lemon person, let alone just a scared little kid who's been really neglected and abused. she at least seems to just kinda ignore the whole thing where he gets defensive and... grabby? idk bc he grew up in a house where he was hungry and ignored and hurt

idk

you give a kid who was raised in a house where he's always hungry and competing with his siblings for food two cupcakes do you really think he's going to share them

especially when it's very clear that you have many cupcakes

do you really think so

also just. if we go w saying a LOT of lg's quirks come from him parroting how pb treated him, idk she just. doesn't do a great job of not treating lh the same way. sure she apologizes when she calls him unacceptable but still I get the feeling she treats him more like lg did than she'd like to think.