#being a black woman

[ellsss]

personal post:

okay so like, i'm about to get super personal on here in terms of like dating, and romance so if you don't like those topics just scroll along.

but tbh, im just painfully sad and i feel really hopeless. i have only really had real, honest feelings for one person in my life and i saw a future with her and she said she wasn't ready to commit her time to a relationship.

it hurts so much because she was so perfect and i had a lot of respect for her, and she was amazing for communicating her feelings and being honest with me.

to top it off, i haven't been in a relationship my whole life, or kissed anyone, guys haven't found me attractive, and still don't which shouldn't matter as a lesbian, but unfortunately, because of social conditioning, as a woman i care about it so much.

and to make things worse, i thought sapphic women would be way more accepting and better than men, but it turns out their standards are just like men's. the fatphobia, the superficiality, and the pure racism just makes it worse.

as a black woman, whose bigger than the conventional standard of attractiveness, and as a femme black woman, i am masculinised by both white and black men, white women and white sapphic women/afab people. it feels like black women are always pushed out of femininity, especially by white counterparts.

because of the fact that i have been single my whole life AND the issues in both heterosexual and sapphic spaces, i just don't feel loveable, pretty, sexy or feminine enough, and my loneliness and low self esteem have just been amplified because of it.

it makes me want to cry because i so badly want to be perceived as feminine and sexy as i feel sometimes on the inside and it just feels like it may never be the case. despite the fact i am a cis woman, i do experience a level of gender dysphoria because i feel as though i'm constantly not perceived to be feminine enough for both men and sapphic women and afab people.

i have felt this way for a really long time and i've never really known how to put it into words until now tbh. i guess i wish i felt confident enough to do and be who i feel i am on the inside, and i wish people saw the femme side in me that i see in myself...

it's got to the point in terms of dating where i have people blocked and i've unfollowed, not because they are bad people but because they are so beautiful and everyone sees their femininity and most if not all are in an ideal relationship with my ideal dynamic (if you know me you know that soft butch/masc/studs are my typeee, unfortunately for most of them i've had experiences where they don't see me the same way).

it's almost really emotionally triggering for me, because it just continually amplifies my feelings of loneliness and undesirability in regards to how others have felt about me my whole life, and how i feel about myself. i want to be able to see that stuff and not be affected, but fuck, its so hard..

anyways, thats my rant i guess, if you got to the end, thank you💕💕

[bayonettas-tits]

It's hilarious how 90% of people I've seen say "asexuals aren't discriminated" in the next breath say something discriminatory about asexuality.

[feminineenergylife]

Benefits of living a Soft Life

Slowing down & Being Present. We often rush through life leaving us no time to enjoy it.

Less Stress. You will start to make decisions that make your life easier not harder when you switch your mindset to a soft lifestyle.

Increased Feminine Energy. You will feel happier & more at peace.

How to live a Soft Girl Life 🤍

[slvttyplum]

women are so pretty. i love them so much and can’t express my love anywhere else. they make me tingle and giddy full of emotion, making my cheeks go warm and my body full of fireworks.

if a woman looks my way, my heart goes into defense more and starts beating erratically. how can i not live them? they’re beautiful voices, beautiful hair, comforting touch, nice figures no matter the size.

i want to listen to they’re every thought and every word that slips past they’re lips, i want to look into their eyes as they express their goals and fears, i want to hear them erupt into laughter.

looking at a pretty girls face and examining every detail is like looking at a colorful rainbow over the crystal blue sea.

i want to kiss a woman, feel a woman, make women happy.

if i could make every woman in the world happen in this very moment i would. i live for women forever and always

[cr1msondll]

FALL INSPO HAIR!!! My dream.

[invye]

We are interrupting our regularly scheduled program to bring you a snippet of a potential ZoSan undercover as a married couple fic:

(Timeline wise shoehorned in sometime shortly after the timeskip, before the Strawhats make it back into the news big time.)

(People need saving from a exclusive circle of nobility, but most of the Stawhats have already been seen around the island, so the lot ends up on Zoro and Sanji to try get in posing as a freshly married couple on their honeymoon to try get more information.)

[after coming up with the plan and Zoro and Sanji hesitantly agreeing]

Robin: "You seem a little stressed, Cook-san."

Sanji, chain-smoking his third cigarette: "I'm fine, I'll do this… I just… I don't like lying about something as significant as marriage, alright? I know it's stupid, but that's just how I am."

Luffy, perking up from where one might have thought he wasn't paying attention at all: "Oi, Sanji, promise to protect Zoro?"

Sanji, puffing out smoke: "Obviously, the Marimo would get lost within all of two seconds without me having his back."

Luffy: "Good! Now, Zoro--!"

Zoro, already rising to the bait: "Oi, if anyone is protecting anyone, I'll be guarding your lanky ass, shit cook!"

Luffy, laughing: "Alright, then as the captain of this ship I hereby pronounce you married!"

Zoro:

Sanji:

Robin: "Oh my, congratulations!"

Brook: bursts into song

Luffy, grinning at Sanji: "See, now it's not a lie anymore, so you don't have to feel bad about calling Zoro your husband."

Zoro: "LUFFY!!! YOU CAN'T JUST--"

Sanji: wordlessly walks off to get ready for the mission

Usopp: "Wait, wait!" runs after Sanji, grabbing his wrist

Sanji: stares

Usopp, sweating nervously: "Need your ring size…"

Sanji: staring intensifies

Usopp, scurrying off as quickly as humanly possible: "Wedding gift!"

Luffy, in the distance, still being yelled at by Zoro: "Too bad we don't have time to celebrate, I really want some wedding cake… :("

[levis-wii-controller]

playing Penacony and this shit is so gay EVERY OTHER DIOLOGUE BRO 💅

[grimmcheems]

Toxic Yuri hrs ❤️

Asljdnasljfnesljnfsrlkngrlekgnrelgkmgr. I miss Madam Red so much.😔😢that and Grell was always so slay to me, my delulu queen when I was a preteen bc she was rly out here obsessing over Sebastian, Will, and mother Red. Anyways I wished they kept Red so bad, I have not read a single chap of manga but now I’m going to have to.

I’ve had spoilers about it for yrs and after watching the public school arc I rly think she would’ve been such a big help to Ciel, not just physically but emotionally as well. Which is why I drew him a bit silly obsessive in this bc with her being the only female family figure left in his life I’m sure he’d be protective over her had she not committed crimes.

As for their dress color schemes I associate the colors their wearing as a representation of the men they know they can’t have (Vincent and Will) also I rly just wanted them to wear something other than red bc there’s already so much😅 she looks so good in blue 😩

I watched the public school arc in one day and loved it😭 I rly did not expect to bc the character designs for the most part were very generic but it was actually good and silly. I’ll have to make an art for that later when I’m free again.

Anyways, you cannot convince me these two were not in love at some point, I’m sad things had to end the way they did between them and plan on making an art in reference to that bc angsty Grell would be so interesting to draw since we don’t rly see her be that remorseful, at least not from what I can remember.

[artigas]

I’m really happy that Black Sails is experiencing a bit of a renaissance, but (predictably) some of the takes I’m seeing online are so busted. It’s wild to me that anyone would complain about the fact that Anne Bonny kisses Jack after she’s developed this life-changing relationship with Max. It’s absolutely wild to see anyone roll their eyes or feel uncomfortable about the fact that Flint has sex with Miranda when he returns to her in season one or that Max is most likely a lesbian but actively has sex with men for pay and knows how to make that pleasurable. It’s crazy to me that some of the very audiences who claim to want queer representation feel so discomforted when they actually see the mess and seeming inconsistencies of queerness that they asked for.

The reality is that there are lesbians who have had (and will have!) meaningful, mutually-gratifying, and deeply sexual relationships with men. There are gay men who’ve enjoyed having sex with women, who are gay as the day is long and nevertheless feel sexually attracted to a woman or two and are nevertheless gay men, full stop. There are gay cis men who are happily married to trans women. There are femme dom tops and butch bottoms and there are mascs afab people who like femme boys. There are non-binary people and trans men who actively identify as lesbians. There are ace and aro people who enjoy thinking about and engaging with sex — sometimes in fiction and sometimes in real life. Queerness, in fiction and in reality, defies neat categorization. That is the beauty, power, and (perceived) unorthodoxy of queerness.

Now, I’ll say this — do I think the straight men behind Black Sails were actively thinking deeply and insightfully about the paradoxes and fuckery of queer identity when they wrote Black Sails? No! By their own admission, Steinberg and Levine have owned up to the fact that some of the writing of the show was really hinged on their own blind spots as people who are not (to my knowledge) members of the queer community. If I want to be generous, I think that the beautiful mess of Black Sails is that, in not feeling like experts enough to designate specific identity labels to any of their characters, the writers stumbled their way into more authentic representation of lived queer experience, which is to say that the notion that James Flint was actively thinking of himself as a gay man was anachronistic. As many lesbian archivists and theories have noted, the notion of a queer identity — as in, queerness is who you are, not what you do — was patently unthinkable for most cultures in the past. In other words, the idea that Anne Bonny operates in the eighteenth century as a lesbian and thus would not willingly engage in relationships with men is not only untrue of the series, but untrue of most recorded lesbian experiences in the real world. The notion that a lesbian would operate her entire life without engaging sexually or romantically with men, for instance, is a very new privilege that some of us are very lucky to enjoy, but it is not true for the vast majority of human history — hell, it’s not even true of our present world.

This is all to say that think that there’s something really funny about how we want queer characters to fit into neatly organized boxes. This isn’t a new problem, either. When the show was still airing, the BS fandom would get itself into tizzies about wether or not Flint is gay or bisexual, wether or not Anne Bonny is a lesbian, wether or not Silver is queer when his only canonical relationship is with Madi, etc etc. We’ve been having these discourses for years and I don’t know. I get that much of it is fueled by how badly some people want to see themselves represented in media, but . . . well. The siloing of queer characters and queer narratives into neat little boxes has never felt very authentic to me and nine times out of ten, it’s also just so damn boring.

[lovedpoetical-ly]

I want a soft, healthy love.

One where we compromise, admire one another, make each other a priority, are each other’s best friends and #1 supporters, share the same values, never talk down on each other, defend each other, take our time learning each other, treat each other with kindness, speak to one another with gentle words, and romanticize life together.

To me, nothing is more beautiful than a family built on a tender love.

[digglesgiggless]

Sonya Massey, a black woman was shot three times, one being a fatal headshot in her own home for holding a pot of hot water, when she had called in the police for a prowler outside of her house.

she was shot. in. her. house. for saying "i rebuke you in the name of jesus". that's all. it took less than five seconds for Sean Grayson to whip out his pistol. said attackers partner offered first aid but he refused it because "it's a headshot, she's dead".

because no one can testify against you if they're dead.

the cops name is Sean Grayson, and he should never be able to leave prison.

this was not an "incident". this was a murder. do NOT let people forget her name.

BLACK LIVES MATTER!

tw below for gunfire. the death however is off camera and not visible.

[aminta]

it really is inch resting how so-called leftists will be beyond eager to pick apart and villainize kamala harris and yet will shrug their shoulders and hardly bat an eye when rich white man Donald Trump makes outrageous and outright racist claims and actively supports removing womens and poc's rights. just say your activism is performative and go

[chrissy-kaos]

"Having to get up every morning and go live a life that you no longer want to live, that is hell." Ivan Sotelo.

[feminineenergylife]

[sunfortune]

CHERYL DUNYE WORKED ON BRIDGERTON??????? this is crazy. kanthony has the lesbian gaze fr <— hasn’t watched bridgerton

worked on it? she directed the gazebo scene. we literally have FINGERS IN HIS MOUTH bc of HER!! i owe her everything !!!

[andi-o-geyser]

all my favourite characters are just me seeing them and going "damn you sure do clean up well but I'd much rather see you grinning with blood between your teeth"