#being a rabbi

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Honestly, a very healing thing for my relationship with g-d is to do things out of love rather than fear, which might be an unpopular opinion. When I was in the xtian church, the biggest thing was to Fear g-d because He Will send you to hell in a hand basket. He will send you to eternal damnation, a hell where you can look up and see heaven just out of reach (this was a genuine thing I was told. You can imagine why my atheist phase was a phase of rebelling against that, not in a disbelief, per se, of g-d). This also doesn't help because my history of abuse was based on primal fear, which... isn't conducive to fear models of behavior.

I'm sure the relationship I have with g-d might be seen in a negative light because you're supposed to fear g-d, but I can't separate fear of g-d from the genuinely toxic do-things-out-of-fear-of-eternal-damnation thing.

I do everything - pray, go to shul, follow kosher (as best I can) - because I love g-d. I have no fear of Him because I am secure in my relationship with Him now. What I appreciate about judaism is that there is emphasis on love, where that wasn't the expectation in church.

[unopenablebox]

attempt to idly discuss concept of custom wedding vows with 🌸 ground to a halt after the realization that neither of us actually, like, wants to try to figure out what the fuck we'd be promising

can you do custom vows, but instead of vows to do stuff, it's just a list of the superbly good qualities of the other person in order to make it clear why any rational actor would agree that you should obviously plan to keep hanging out with them as long as possible

[the-dear-skull]

Type of individual who defends the money changers in the flipping table story because they were a part of a marginalized group.

[crippled-peeper]

sorry for being very opinionated about some weirdly specific topics like chiropracty and homeopathy because I was raised by a type 1 diabetic and a 4th-5th generation atheist so I live with the persistent need to want to learn the actual nature of things instead of letting my intuition and feelings guide my choices and kill my disabled ass in the process. like. I’m not dying for your feelings

[hinotorihime]

i think that even beyond the complexities of halachic nuances, my biggest problem in regards to writing jewish characters is that: it is important to me that i actually put thought into their relationship with judaism and the way that they would engage with it on a practical level—i don't want to just decide to slap "oh they're incidentally jewish" on them and then decide they're secular for my own convenience as an author, you know? but also, there's a spectrum between "totally secular" and "100% observant orthodox", and i feel like i just don't know enough about how people make those decisions, what they prioritize and what they don't and how their background and surroundings affect that

[bisexualamy]

my sister got married yesterday in the chabad shul we grew up in and it was a lovely wedding and i'm excited to have a brother (never had one before) but ALSO i need everyone to know that, after attending this shul for over a decade regularly and another decade intermittently (when i'm back to see my parents) i thought i'd found every picture of the Rebbe they'd hung up but i discovered, at 9pm after a long day full of wedding, while putting the chuppah away, that he does in fact also watch over us from the supply closet

[bijoumikhawal]

only going "rape and torture are bad" when people defend Palestinians is pretty fucking scummy, speaking as someone who knows more than the average person on this site does about torture, and hates it real bad and knows a lot of people repeat torture apologia because it's deeply pervasive in modern culture

[azures-bazar]

Peculiar Scents

Let's be honest, almost everyone agrees that 1899!John rarely takes baths and is somewhat dirty all day long ! lol

And here is another very weird one-shot my brain managed to work with ! I wrote this between 2 coffees while on a break, please don't mind my awful mistakes ! :')

The gif can be explained later in this one-shot ! This is not a ship.

John Marston x GenderNeutral!reader

Word count : 2k

Short summary : You can’t stand it anymore. This smell is terrible ! John didn’t wash in three weeks... and you can't let him keep going.  

A/note : This is NOT A SHIP ! The reader is having a very friendly/sibling-like relationship with John Marston. I’m too much into John x Abigail (or even John x Javier), sorry :’)

Tags : cute, John is terrified of water, ancient rubber duck, flowers, bath, good and bad scents, John is always dirty, chapter 3, siblings

"No !"

John’s voice sounded across camp. You and Sean had been chasing him for over an hour to convince him to wash himself. You had first attempted to be very nice to him, gently asking him to just rub a piece of wet cloth over his body, which did not seem to work much. Sean was more brutal, carrying ropes to lasso him while John kept walking around camp to get away from the two of you. However, despite giving your best effort to convince him to clean himself a little, John was not ready to accept your request. Abigail had begged you while Arthur had given up, you kindly obliged. 

"Pa’ always stinks !" you heard Jack say almost twice a day

"I can’t walk by his tent no more." the girls had told you

"Sometimes I feel like there’s a rotting corpse in his tent !" Pearson often complained 

"I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he’s peeing by his bed every morning to mark his territory…" Bill usually sighed when passing by John’s tent

In fact, you were one of the first victims of his terrible smell. Your tent was right next to his, and his horrible scent of sweat could only make you feel nauseous as soon as you would wake up and while he would open his tent flaps, unleashing his body odours for at least five minutes. The two of you were always paired to go on guard duty at the same time, so it meant that you were sharing the same schedule when it came to rest in your respective tents. Dutch had firmly refused to move your quarters away from John’s, believing it would certainly enrage Ms. Grimshaw and disturb her overall organisation. He also thought it would lead other members to actively start asking the girls and Arthur to move their tents depending on their moods… and Sean would have been the first to ask for his tent to be moved closer to Lenny’s. 

As far as you could recall, John had always hated baths, and it was painfully hard to convince him otherwise. When you got inducted into the gang by Dutch, just five or six years after John, you could easily remember his smell and how bad you felt when he was too close to you, feeling nauseous most of the time. You adored him, he was the closest to a brother to you, you were always paired with him and hanged with him quite often, but his overall body odour could not make you stay near him for more than a hour without leading you to get some serious migraines. He would wash every once in a while, probably three times a month, which was a miracle considering his hatred for water in general. 

Quite often, Arthur had to hogtie him and drop him into the nearest lake or river, or even go to the closest saloon to give him a proper bath. And, indeed, John hated that. He hated being hogtied and forced into water and would never miss the opportunity to complain whenever someone would do that to him. 

"Get back here, Marston !" Sean shouted from behind you 

"I said no !" 

"Oi, ya ain’t gonna go far, we can track ya with yer bloody scent !" 

Arthur watched you pass before him with a smirk, proceeding to draw a scene of you and Sean chasing Arthur in his journal. He could feel empathy for the two of you, despite this sight was probably the most delightful comedy he had ever watched so far. He had been at your place for years, and seeing someone else have to catch Marston to give him a bath was a very nice comedy to watch ! 

"John, please !" you shouted 

"Leave me be !" 

You kept walking around camp for a while as Sean was preparing his lasso. John’s quick walk was also quite comical to watch, the way he moved his hips and arms made him look like a real clown. A dirty clown. You grumbled as John started running away from camp, quickly getting on your horse as Sean followed you, climbing on Ennis. He was ready to lasso John, who was trying his best to get away from Clemens Point by running as fast as he could. What a surprising thing to watch, just a few weeks ago, he could barely walk due to his recent scars ! 

"C’mon Marston !" Sean laughed. "Some water ain’t gonna kill ya !" 

"Leave me and my dirt alone !" Marston shouted 

"Ain’t got a chance !" you laughed 

John was not going to let anyone take him to take a bath. He hated water, he always had. Bessie had been the only one who had successfully convinced him to bathe, he would do it as soon as she would ask. However, since her passing, it had been overwhelmingly difficult to get Marston to take a bath. He was deadly scared of water, for some reason. Arthur did try his best to teach him to swim, but Marston never succeeded, nearly drowning more than once. It always took a few gang members to drag him into water by now, and you were often among these poor fellers that would be chosen to give him a bath. 

After a very short time, Sean successfully lassoed John, you went down your horse, you tied his hands in his back. He started swearing, begging you to let go, wriggling as much as he could to set himself free. You had to pinch your nose, what a terrible smell ! Even Sean, who’s overall body odour was mix between whiskey and cigarettes, smelled better than John ! 

"Yer goin’ to take a bath, Marston !" MacGuire happily said, dragging John to Ennis 

"Leave me alone !" he responded, wriggling his arms to get the rope away from his wrists 

"I can’t stand your smell anymore, John." you grumbled. "I seriously can’t. So you’re going to take a bath or…-" 

"Or what ?! I ain’t a kid no more, Y/N ! You can’t just scold me like a child ! I ain’t a…-" 

"Next time, I’ll take our boat right here and throw you into the lake so you won’t ever reach the edge of Clemens Point." 

John gasped and grumbled, nodding in shame as Sean dragged him on Ennis. You led the way to Rhodes, heading to the saloon in which MacGuire paid for John’s bath, but refused to come with you. You were going to deal with him alone, while Sean would certainly drink at the counter and probably pass out. All the work was on shoulders, but you agreed with that. You led John to the bathroom, quickly pulling his pants down. Indeed, you were going to have to get him naked, which would certainly be the hardest thing you would ever have to do. 

"H-hey !" he blushed 

"Wanna get wet clothes ?" you asked 

"No, but do you really need to undress me ?" 

"Unless you do it yourself." 

John rolled eyes. You headed to the door and locked yourself in with him, he rose his hands for you to untie them. You obliged and turned around, giving him enough privacy to undress, grumbling a little while sliding into the bathtub. The water was foamy enough for you to avoid seeing his body parts, making you feel much more comfortable. Indeed, you did not want to see John bare body, so you would not dig your hands in the warm water. You turned back, John was keeping his knees close to his chest, giving you a death stare as you approached. 

"You ain’t gonna drown here, John." you said. "Relax."

"I hate you, Y/N. I hate you and Sean." 

"No need remind me, I already know that and love you too." 

"I said I ha…-"

"Me too."  

You walked around the bathtub, looking around the shelves, picking a very peculiar yellowish form into your hands. A rubber duck, you had seen many of these on the shelves of a variety of shops, they were relatively new in stores. John could not relax, you quickly threw the rubber duck in the tub, making him gasp as water got splashed over his grumpy face. 

"What the hell is that ?!" he asked, rubbing his eyes 

"It’s a rubber duck." you answered. "I think they got these to keep children entertained." 

"Do I look like a child ?!"

You nodded with a large smile, causing John to turn shades darker. You had been aware about him being constantly belittled by Arthur, frequently being told he was a child… you even heard Hosea mention that even little Jack was far much docile !

"When you refuse to take a bath, I swear I feel like I’m having Jack right here. It’s funny, though." you laughed

"Damn." 

"It ain't my fault if you can't behave better than your four-year-old boy."

"You can't be serious right now."

You laughed and shrugged, causing Marston to sigh. You watched John looking at this strange realistic looking rubber duck while washing his hair, calmly rubbing his scalp. He quickly became obsessed with this rather strange duck you have him, not even realising anything about his current situation. It gave you more space to wash him without a single complaint. You still allowed him to do clean the bottom parts of his body, not wanting to go any further than his chest. John sighed, still keeping the duck under his arm as MacGuire knocked at the door. 

"Dead-Eye MacGuire here !" he shouted. "Open the door ! "

"Don’t let him in." John grumbled. "Please, don’t."

"If I make him stay outside, you can be sure this place will be on fire in a few minutes."

"Christ sake..." 

Marston sighed and turned his down. You went to the door and opened, making Sean break into the room. While quickly looking at him, you noticed him carrying a broom in one hand, and a bottle of whiskey in the other. 

"It’s cleaning time, Johnny !" MacGuire happily shouted 

"Wait, what ?!" 

"Let’s get this dirt out of your body, fella !" 

"Get away from me you damn creep !"

"Sean, wait…-" you gasped 

Sean happy sipped some whiskey and dropped an empty bottle on the nearby chair, allowing you to close the door behind him. John curled up into a ball as Sean started rubbing the broom on his soap-covered back. Marston groaned, painfully holding the rubber duck against him while his fists clenched on the sides of the bath. You watched Sean scrubbing John’s upper body until it was red, preparing a new set of clothes while John was screaming how much he hated you. Both of you. 

"I want you to rot in hell !!" 

Thankfully enough, Sean quickly stopped scrubbing John’s body, allowing him to leave the bath to get dressed while you were not watching. John refused to mount on Sean’s horse and decided to get on yours instead, grumbling all the way back to camp while holding your onto waist. Arthur came to greet you with a warm smile, John pushed him aside and quickly got into his tent, closing its flaps. 

"Damn, he smells much better !" Arthur said, gently patting your shoulder. "How d'you do this ?" 

"Well, we had to convince him in a rather kin…-" 

"We had to use violence, English." Sean stopped you. "Bad business. Very bad business."

Sean walked away as Arthur looked at you with wide eyes. Violence ? What kind of violence did you use ? You gently shook your head, quickly explaining that the treatment you gave to John was not as violent as Sean depicted it to be.

"Violence ?" Arthur smiled. "You really used violence ?"

"Sort of." you shrugged

When the night came, you could finally rest. No more bad smell, you could breathe without feeling like a cow had just covered John’s tent with shit ! However, as the smell was gone, you could hear John groan, and Hosea’s voice sounding inside his tent. You had seen Matthews preparing a mixture to help John’s back to heal after being scrubbed so violently by Sean, and thinking about him applying his balm on Marston made you chuckle to yourself. You could hear how painful it was for him, he kept whining each time Hosea would touch his back. 

"At least, you smell better !" Hosea said with a smile 

Yes. At least, he did. 

[victimized-martyr]

to what degree do you think Cartman will grow to be a better person?

According to Trey’s commentary in Tsst, it doesn’t take much: Discipline, a firm male figure in his life. And now, implied by the end of Pandemic Special and towards the end of P.C, time away from friends who enable him are the ingredients for a better Cartman.

As little as it takes for him to be grow, it’s also just as easy for him to regress. Liane giving in on one occasion reverted what was months of firm parenting. A stagnant Kyle in P.C spurred Cartman’s paranoia, and reverted him back to his scheming 10 year old ways. He thinks he’s being talked down to and self sabotages out of spite at the end of Future Me. I think also a contributor to his Cartman-ness is how South Park itself doesn’t let him stay good for long, meager as his attempts may be on occasion. He’s the adults’s scapegoat (Bass to Mouth) as well as the Kids’s (Good Times With Weapons). the kids encourage Cartman to retaliate against Pc principal instead of letting him accept detention, and they smash his things while he was sincerely attempting to be PC.

Anyways, Cartman’s demonstrated he can be good in PC— he’s the father he never had, a loving (perhaps overzealous) husband, embracing the religion he’s constantly belittled.

While it was one off gag in Future Me, Cartman was inspired by end of the episode to study and work at his appearance. His future-self was proof that if he really wanted to, he can turn his life around.

He has the capacity to come to to right conclusions, (“should I just apologize to my friends and ask them to take me back, and tell them I was being a selfish jerk? Admit I was wrong and ask for forgiveness?”) He just… doesn’t have the discipline nor the humility to do so. (“Nah, screw that! I’m just gonna keep being a fucking dick!”)

At this point, we’ve experienced both extremes of the spectrum of goodness Cartman lies— his worst as a homeless drunk, the bastard boob-job narcissist he is now, and his best as a self made millionaire, or a family man devoted to his faith, or the obedient little boy who does his homework before school and eats a gay ass grapefruit for breakfast.

It isn’t a question to what degree Cartman can be good, because he’s shown to be good in various ways. The question is whether Mattrey/ the town of South Park will allow him to realize his potential. Given the very recent circumstances of The Hot Dog… well, it remains to be seen.

[no27-autonation-honda]

another weekend, another job rejection!

[shalom-iamcominghome]

The jewish love language really is giving each other book recommendations you think they'd like........

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

one of the things i’ve learned about myself while becoming more devoutly jewish over the last few years is that im very protective of my judaism. i love my culture and religion and people but i do get nervous when goyim talk to me about it sometimes because i worry that the other shoe is going to drop somehow

[spitbruise]

can someone bomb the israel government i’m sick of this shit

[stolen-stardust]

the struggle of wanting to start the process of converting to judaism vs now living in scotland and would need to commute to glasgow or edinburgh to be in any larger community … strugglin

[jewishcissiekj]

why'd they call the planet Akiva...?

[madeoftwinklingstars]

something i think is really interesting about judaism is that there are movements that simply. do not believe that the torah (the main book of judaism) was written by god. i mean in what other religion would this be widely adopted. why hasn’t similar ideas spread further? what makes judaism different from them? while orthodox claim that jews who believe this are heretical, they are still forced to engage with these arguments that the torah was simply written by people trying to make sense of the world. there are also multiple movements within orthodoxy that force them to engage with this argument as well— like the fact that there are orthodox individuals who believe in science and evolution. if the torah is wrong about adam and eve, what else could it be wrong about? it’s so just so interesting to me.