#being me simulator: Omg i want to be there for and take care of my f/os! *hasnt taken care of myself in ages*

[roboraindrop]

No work for me today. More time to lay here and think about my f/os 💕

[goldsbitch]

I gave so many signs

summary: First unrequited love is not the one to ever leave your mind. Y/N looks back at her missed connection with Charles Leclerc from the time they were just teenagers and regrets having him slip away.

song fic (disclaimer: rights belong to the respectable owners)

exile - Taylor Swift Lie to me - 5 Seconds of Summer (feat. Julia Michaels) Worst of you - Maisie Peters

warning: Present time, the past

Coming back home to Monaco always brought a sour smile to her face. She loved growing up in this strange small town where everyone knew each other and celebrities came to show off and then went back to wherever, to tell stories of Monte Carlo.

They say that you get to experience three very different real loves in your lifetime - and only if you're lucky, it would be with the same person. Her first love was Charles Leclerc.

I saw you lookin' brand new overnight I caught you lookin' too, but you didn't look twice

Visiting family was the reason why she always came back, but going out with the few girls from high school who stayed there was a treat she dared not to miss. There is just something about hanging out with those people who helped one buy the first eyeshadow and with whom she pregamed at one of their step dad's dermatology office before going on trying to get into any club that would allow minors in. So there she was once again, at the old time spot, having a harder time to hold her alcohol since she'd passed the magic non hangover years. And to her luck, he walked in only a bare half an hour later than her.

Whenever she saw him, even after those years, it was like everyone else had dissapeared from the room. He seemed to age like wine.

It's 3 AM and the moonlight's testing me I know that you've been holding on to someone else And now I can't sleep

"Come here to me," she teased, moving closer to him. He tried to stop her and playfully pushed himself the furthest away possible the couch would allow. "Charlie, let me see!" she insisted and sat on top of him. She had to act quickly, there would be no way for her to keep the upper hand. He was just turning eighteen soon and the time in gym was starting to bring back results. "I do not have any hairline, Y/N," he gasped, annoyed. His tone changed. Back then she interpreted it as just him being done with her shit. Looking at it now, there probably was a different reason why he became more stiff. She sat on him, going through his hair and taking few photos, blissfully unaware. "I'll show this to you in a few years and we'll see! Ha!" Charles eyes were shooting arrows in her direction. She looked back at him, curious and not grasping the moment in the same way as he did. "What?" she asked simply. "Nothing..."

I can see you standing, honey With his arms around your body Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all

She laughed a bit at that memory as she sipped her drink and tried her best to avoid keeping looking back at him as he sat with his current friends and an absolute gorgeous girl laughing at his joke. She knew who she was. Sometimes she peaked at his socials and then blocked him again right away. She certainly knew he had her blocked.

They went to different schools and Charles had his racing activities anyway. So they'd spent a lot of time texting. A lot.

It was just one of the horrifically long school days where she doubted the point of her existence. Life had to be more than sitting in a pointless computer science class. She wanted to be a big lawyer girl boss one day, so why would she ever care about programming. There she was, staring at the assignment from the teacher who was stuck in 20th century anyway, having little to no clue what to do. As she'd usually do, she texted Charles. Bombed him with twenty texts demanding attention, before he finally responded. "OMG i thought someone had died" "i am dying charles" "no your not" "*you're" "i can go back to my race simulator if you keep being a little shit" "nooo, please dont go. you're my only hope. sorry, your. i get it, you got out of the school too early." "that's it, i'm gone" "noo, please stay, I'll be nice and say nice things about you" "i'm staying, go on" "you are absolutely gorgeous" "yes, agree. more" "you are soo funny, amazing, future heart breaker and your passion for racing is so inspiring" "i like this. more"

Second, third, and hundredth chances Balancin' on breaking branches Those eyes add insult to injury

They were inseparable, yet nobody knew. Always meeting alone, because they did not need anyone and their social circles didn't really meet together. Whenever he was back in town, the two of them would hit up their favorite café or hang out at his house and then go for a walk. The two of them walked around Monte Carlo as if they were suppose to be the cartographers creating the first map of that area ever. Those were the good old days that came to end very unexpectedly.

We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (Didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

His hands were shaking when he sent the email. But he just could not take it anymore. He was over the moon in love with her and didn't know how to contain it.

"there is no easy way to say this. i love you. sorry. i'm stupid and i know we're just friends. but i basically live only for racing and seeing you. i'm terrified of seeing you with someone else. if there is at least a cell in your body that feels the same, please let's meet up and talk about it. if not, do not reply and i will never mention this again and deal with it. i love you."

She was seventeen when she got his message out of the blue. A scared little girl who was petrified of feelings and anything relationship related. So she never replied to his email.

All this time I never learned to read your mind I couldn't turn things around (I couldn't turn things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (You never gave a warning sign)

Charles had a very little hope that she'd feel the same - why would she, such an amazing person, kind, fun and totally glorified in his eyes, so he could not even imagine him being worthy of her. But what if? What if he was enough? With every day when she did not respond to his email, his heart sank lower. Still, the pain of the first rejection is a hard one to take, because it's usually from a scared unexperienced heart to another and the clumsiness causes great deal of accidental collateral damage one remembers until the end of their life.

You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out

She texted him from school few days after that - a normal text, as if nothing happened. Both of them were too chicken to address the situation openly. So he opted for buring his feeling and she for playing like she had no idea. Deep down, she always knew, even before he emailed her. They texted, continued to meet up. But it was never the same again.

Flashing back to New York City I was done, but you undid me Classic me to run when it feels right

It was hard to get closure for her. After all that had happened and the mess the two made for each other was a hard lesson she remembered vividly. She glanced at your first love again - and finally she met his look, after almost two years of managing to missing each other while they were both back in Monaco. She'd daydreamed about bumping into him, the two chatting and smiling again. The world stopped again for few moments. He shot her an unsure quick half smile that said it all. She knew him too well for that.

And now I wish we never met 'Cause you're too hard to forget While I'm cleaning up your mess I know he's taking off your dress

It was her prom night and she could not be more excited. All her friends were here, family, even Charles managed to get in town to watch her dance and drink all night. She had the night of her life, perfect end to end this chapter of life. The excitement her eyes held was contagious. She spent the first half of her evening with the family and Charles, sharing few dances and laughs. If felt like the good old days. But one shot of tequila led to another and there she was, drunk as pirate and unhinged like a teenage girl. Charles did his best to keep her parents at bay, keep them occupied while he got one of his friends to take care of her. He was worried she might do something stupid, like walk up to the stage and fall down breaking all of her bones. Finally, her parents decided to leave without having to saying goodbye to her after Charles spent a good half an hour convincing them she was just in the back stage and that he'd get her home safe. When they were gone, he began to search for her, only to finally find her sitting on the stairs, making out with the friend he assigned to keep an eye on her.

So take me to every party and just talk to your friends Why don't you let me down, I'll let you do it again Go on and walk all over me, just don't walk away Give me the worst of you 'Cause I want you anyway

It was like being cut open alive and having people watch. There was nothing even remotely graceful about her actions, she was literally sitting on the floor having a battle of tongues with another drunk teenager while people had to walk pass her. It was embarrassing. Charles didn't know what to do. He wanted to run away and never come back, but he couldn't leave her there alone. He couldn't bring himself to stop the two of his friends, because he was just too sad and heartbroken to do so. He just stayed nearby and kept an eye on them. It was one of the longest nights in his life.

She couldn't remember the second half of her prom night and Charles would never speak of it, even though she begged him many times. He always became stiff and started to leave the room. She only kept asking, because it marked one of the biggest shifts in their friendships. He became cold, unresponsive and after few weeks, he stopped communicating completely.

You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out I think I've seen this film before

Funny how people's faces change with years, but the eyes stay the same. The eyes and the look. Charles looked at her the second time this evening. It was like staring back at the eighteen year old boy who was drowning in his feeling.

It was one of her last nights in Monaco before leaving for university. Finally, her dreams were coming true. She was more than ready to get our to show the world she was a force to be reckoned with. She sent Charles countless messages before her final departure, at that moment, she was sure she'll never ever get back to Monaco and wanted to at least understand why he became distant. One evening, he finally agreed to meet up and talk. She was over the moon. Knowing that she could always turn Charles over, she left feeling confident - he was one the very few people she was sure shared the same soul as her. It was as if they'd never stopped talking. Jokes flying everywhere, the two of them strolling around, having no idea this would be the last time (and maybe, that was better for her at the time). There was so much to share, the two kept talking over each other for hours. Charles was happy when she finally stopped to take a breath for a moment. She looked him in the eye and saw a look she'd seen countless of times on his face. There was a shift in her mind and out of nowhere, she was kissing the boy she'd been unknowingly in love for years. She'd realize that she loved him only once she started dating a random guy from her college, expecting the same feeling Charles gave her. But it never came. Had she known, she'd have stayed with him. He tried to convince her to start dating him. Almost begged her to try it with him long distance. But there was a whole world for you to discover, places to be and versions of her that needed discovering. She had kissed only once. But it was a kiss of a lifetime. He blocked her on all socials after she rejected him again.

I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (You never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) So many signs, so many signs You didn't even see the signs

The girls were laughing at some joke she missed while digging in her memory for traces of her first love. Charles Leclerc. He was sitting few tables away from her. This time, her heart sank as he kissed his girlfriend on the cheek as they walked away from the bar. She wanted to run to him, to talk to him again after all those years. To tell him the same thing he once emailed her. To explain that she was just too young to notice she had the love of her life right next to you. But she knew all too well what his answer would be. And just like he had back then, she never wanted to hear it out loud.

And I know that you don't, but if I ask you if you love me I hope you lie, lie, lie, lie, lie to me

part 2

[bonny-kookoo]

bonnyyyyy +1 chance!couple were so cute omg does kook win in the tournament? i feel like he'll immediately take oc out on a date to celebrate if he does, gotta flaunt his feathers while he has the chance cuz she also plays the same game

"I'm sorry it's just in the hotel room-" Jungkook fumbles with his words as he lets you inside, hair having just dried from the quick shower he took after his tournament.

He'd won, and he'd expected that, honestly- he'd been well prepared after all, and his teammates were just as good at the game, leading to a relatively easy win. Still, he knows this game will stay in his mind as the hardest he's ever fought- because he'd been sweating buckets, knowing you're somewhere in the crowd, watching him play.

That's one of the main reasons he had to shower before meeting up with you. God knows his shirt was soaking afterwards.

"No problem- you know I could've waited too, it didn't.. have to be today." You reassure him, but he shakes his head, and leads you to the small table in his rather spacious hotel room, windows to the balcony opened, fluttering the see-through curtains a bit.

"No, I wanted to see you right away." He says, and it's clear from the way he licks his lips and plays with his piercings that he's nervous. "Do you..- the menu is on the table there, for room service I mean. We can order something and chat if you like." He offers, and you nod, taking the menu for yourself to read through it.

God, you became even prettier over the years, he realizes. He himself has been trying to take good care of himself, but the constant attack of the blue light from the screens and his honestly surprisingly stressful life sometimes does take a toll on him- his skin currently not the best, and it's making him nervous.

If you both do end up liking each other, and wanting more, will you be able to handle it all? The constant flying around, the constant practice, the hours and hours and hours he has to spend trying to perfect what he already can do- can you handle that? His cranky attitude whenever he fails? His sometimes snappy answers whenever he's irritated about failing at a basic mechanic ingame? His obsession with perfection?

He's not an easy guy. Relationships have constantly failed because of this tricky cocktail of his job and his personality.

"You almost lost the lane, in the first half." You suddenly chirp up, watching him walk towards the table now, sitting down across from you. "They really had you in a chokehold for a little." You giggle, and he nods, smiling to himself.

"They did." He answers.

"But you really gained a lot of momentum during the endgame." You say, resting your cheek in your palm, elbow on the table. "They had no chance."

"I'll take that as a compliment." He chuckles, realizing that you really do seem to know the game quite well, with the way you speak of his performance. It makes him a little giddy.

His past girlfriends didn't game very much. Or if at all, all just very laid back simulation games. Maybe your shared interest could help you both connect better?

"It definitely is." You giggle. "I might pick up some of your odd item choices to make my own games better." You tease, and he dramatically gasps at that, taking the room service menu from you to look at it himself.

"Excuse me, my choices aren't odd. They're very much calculated." He shakes his head playfully, before he looks at you again. "What do you eat?" He wonders, and you pull down the menu he's still holding, to lean closer and tap on the things you want. But when you look up, you realize he's not looking at where you're pointing at all- but instead, his eyes are entirely glued to you, being just a little closer to him than before.

"You're not even looking." You accuse him, but he instead licks his lips, and leans back, trying to appear confident.

"Well, that's a tough thing to do when you're in my face like that." He tells you. "Can't help but look at you instead."

"Huh, I'll lean back and give you space then." You say, suddenly laughing to yourself when you realize that despite all this time having passed, you both really just fell right back into place, as if your friendship never really ended at all. You just feel so comfortable with him despite his physical appearance having clearly matured and changed, it's a little odd.

"What're you laughing about?" He wonders, visibly happy however that you're happy, no matter why.

"Nothing." You shrug. "Just.. Happy. To have run into you again, I mean." You admit, and he grins at that.

"I.. yeah, I feel the same." He nods.

"Do you think.. we could be friends again?" You wonder, and he shrugs.

"I'm not sure." He tells you, taking in a deep breath before he shoots his shot. "What.. if I want to be more?" He suggests, and you look at him for a moment, before you lean back into your seat, tilting your head to the side in thought.

"I guess..." You say, before your eyes meet his again. "You think we could work out as a team?" You wonder-

and he instantly gets what you're trying to say, bright grin spreading on his face, as his heart beats faster than ever before.

[live-laugh-lenney]

omg pls post the fic ! xx

and what about headcannons for a first date with arthur ?

it's been posted, lovely!

it went out last night but there's a link below, just in case you missed it when it went out. always love to hear what you guys think of my stuff so don't hesitate to reblog the shit out of it and send me your thoughts.

housewarming make-out | arthurtv

thank you so much for requesting this arthur headcannon - these are definitely something that i want to dabble more in on this blog! they are so much fun to work on. i'm always taking ideas and requests for these kinds of thing, too, so don't hesitate to spout your feels in my inbox. xx

*

F I R S T D A T E H E A D C A N N O N | a r t h u r t v |

-> he's so nervous about the whole thing.

-> he has no idea why he's so nervous because they're best friends. the bestest of best friends who almost spend every waking moment together. the two of them having known each other for a long while; but they've only just plucked up the courage to agree to a date with each other.

-> he wants the whole day to be perfect because he really likes yn and he really wants everything to work out between the two of them and he really wants to impress her with something out of the ordinary.

-> he meets her outside the museum because he didn't want to make it be known how excited he was to finally see her for their first date together, tickets held tightly in his hand, chewing on his bottom lip as he searches the faces that walk by him.

-> he's completely enamoured by her, as soon as he sees her walking up the steps to the entrance, unable to take his eyes away from her.

-> the weather is beautiful and he feels entirely underdressed when he sees her in such a gorgeous, autumnal outfit that he'd never seen her in before and rather liked to see her wearing; the colours complimenting her eyes and her skin so well.

-> he lets her lead the way the whole time; she's so excited to explore the whole museum and she loves how she gets to be with someone who wants to be there with her.

-> telling her interesting facts about the dinosaur bones they see, he throws around bits and pieces of information about the animals they see, he's full of knowledge on the insects they get to witness up close and personal, and he's so excited to take her around the space exhibit because he finds it the most interesting of all the museum has to offer them.

-> holding her close to his side when they experience the earthquake simulator.

-> holding her hand around the whole place and making idle chat as they go from room to room, never knowing what to expect next, and he loves to watch her eyes glow as she takes in her surroundings whenever they walk around the corner.

-> standing behind her when they come to a stop and holding her waist as they read the information panels ahead of each exhibit they come across. enjoying the silence as they take in the words before they start up a conversation about whatever had peaked an interest.

-> they know people recognise them (moreso, they recognise arthur) but neither of them care because he feels like the two of them are the only people in the world as they spend the afternoon in a place he's longed to take a significant other on a first date and he can't help but grin the whole time because it's finally happening.

-> and neither of them want the date to end and decide to go for some dinner and a few drinks to end the afternoon.

-> bumping into george clarke on the tube home and arthur can't help but gush over how well the date went and how good the museum was and yn just sits there and lets him talk and talk because there's something to endearing about seeing the guy she likes just being so happy in the moment.

-> and the night ends back at his flat.

-> wearing one of his jumpers and stretched over the sofa and tucked under a blanket, her knees brought to her chest and his arm over her shoulder, their restaurant dinner in takeaway boxes and left on his coffee table as they went back to pick at their leftovers, as they watch a film that he had been begging her to watch for a while.

-> soft kisses being shared, cuddles getting tighter and nothing more; taking it slow was how they wanted things to go, slow enough to enjoy every moment happening between the two of them.

[twhem]

“i said your favorite word: the backrooms!”

in which case y/n (first person) gets stuck in the backrooms with mark, who happens to absolutely hate the backrooms.

g/n reader, pretty much platonic relationship. i also added a few things that weren’t in the game, but just things i thought of

(this has been eating me up all week but basically mark played the complex and it was all “haha he’s lost and he hates the backrooms” but my brain was like “omg the stairs and the couch and the color of that wall spark something in me” and now i want to write about mark and i exploring the backrooms)

_______________

“…and if the substrituent has three carbons, it’s called a propyl group!”

mark walked in front of me, his walk being turned more so into a trudge the more we roamed.

mark sighed, looking around the room we entered. it looked identical to the one before, and i could tell he was getting frustrated.

“that’s great, y/n. really, that’s—“

rain could suddenly be heard hitting the roof above us.

rain?

we both looked at each other wordlessly, listening to the pounding rain and booming thunder. how is there a storm here? there’s a roof? does that mean there’s a way out?

“‘s kinda nice.” he mumbled. “…you know?”

i nodded. “no i…” i paused, looking at him. “…i was gonna say the same thing.

out of all the people to be stuck here with, i couldn’t have chosen a better person.

_______________

“i gotta say,” mark spoke suddenly, grunting slightly as he struggled with the door in front of him. “i don’t like the way we spawned here without shoes.”

i glanced down at my socked feet. “i do. it’s comfy… with the carpet and all…”

he finally got the door open, sighing heavily. “the doorknobs turn down.”

i nod and say a silent “ahh..”, following him up a short flight of stairs. we enter a small hallway with a little room made into the wall, decorated with a couch and a table. the table held a vase with a fake white rose.

i see the rose in the vase and laugh. “kinda reminds me of—“

“—Ib.” mark chuckles. my face reddens, hopefully not too noticeably.

he passed the couch and the vase, continuing to walk. i stop.

upon noticing this, he turns and looks at me. “you want to stop here?”

“why not?” i shrug. “it’s comfy.” i crane my head toward the ceiling. “and it’s still raining.”

“i have a feeling it’s gonna rain for the entire duration of our time here.” he says, sitting on the couch next to me with a sigh.

we sat in silence, listening to the rain above us for a while, before i found the courage to speak.

“so… what were you doing…” i began. he turned to look at me. “…when you, uhm, ‘no clipped’ here.”

“ah.” he nodded, looking at the wall in front of us. “i had… just put Chica out.” he paused. “before i put her out, i yelled at her for chewing up something she wasn’t supposed to.”

another pause, then he chuckled lightly.

“you can imagine how bad i felt when i got here.”

i nodded, not knowing whether or not to feel bad or not. my story wasn’t as sad.

“i’m… i’m sure Amy is taking care of her.” i said with a small smile.

he shrugged, frowning. “…Chica wasn’t the only one i left on bad terms with.”

i nodded slowly as my lips formed an “oh”, not knowing what to say.

another silence.

“i’m sorry, mark.”

“what about you?”

i looked at him. “w-what?”

he chuckled. “the same question you asked me. what were you doing before you got here?”

i laughed. “oh! it’s kind of a funny story. i worked for my schools nursing building, in the simulation department.”

“simulation… like—“

“medical mannequins.”

he cringed. “ugh.”

i laughed. “oh, man. i forgot you hate mannequins! if regular mall mannequins creep you out, you should have seen this things… they talk, scream, moan, blink—“

“stop.” he chuckled, putting his hand up. i laughed even harder.

“anyways, that was simulation lab, where i primarily worked. we started a new thing with VR headsets where the students would do virtual clinical sessions. one day, nobody was in there, so i put one of the headsets on, and now i’m here.”

“oh, God. it’s… it’s like that Digital Circus thing.”

“exactly!” i said. “that’s what i thought… when i had… finally stopped panicking and crying.”

____

after a while of conversation, mark eventually fell asleep. i couldn’t blame him; i was pretty sure he’d been here long before i arrived.

i had a dream that i couldn’t remember when i woke up. upon waking, i found mark, still asleep, in the same position i had fell asleep to— head laid back, arm slung around the back of the couch, and his legs entangled in mine.

… he was much handsomer when he wasn’t just a box in the corner of a screen.

i looked at his arm, which had a rubber bracelet on it with a picture and text i couldn’t see nor read.

i decided to let him sleep a while longer.

_______________

(how tf do i watch mark at least once a week but i find it so hard to write his character)

[sniigura-archive]

You make me think sometimes

• Sports team! Adam and cheerleader! Reader and it's the classic

"This ones for you babe" *misses and blames everyone else*

• hes flirting with the rest of your squad yet never goes further than words?? He'll stare at you while he does it too as if you should care (the most hes spoken to you was a quick "nice tits" as he passed you at a party(you're dating now you just dont know it yet (he hasnt told you)))

- type of guy to break his nose playing a game and makes sure you're watching him get medical attention so you know hes hurt (as if everyone didnt watch him eat shit). He'll then be like "psshh it didnt even hurt" and bring up his injury everytime you're in ear shot just so you know hes that strong

- imagine a rival team member flirting with you too 🕴🕴 they're getting tackled and severely injured and will never play sports again. Oopsies

- also cheerleader! Eve too??? Locker room showers go crazy.

- Adam why do you think they have so many sleepovers?? that hitachi wand has been replaced THRICE!!

- eve is strapped and weapon (it might as well be considered one)

• adam x reader x eve

- reader who acts all tough and dom and makes A LOT of talk about being a top until eve takes complete control and RUINS the reader

- I'm talking left leg completely numb, seeing two things at once, drool, tears, and a lot of body fluids on them, in them, on the bed, EVERYWHERE!!

- you know that meme where the womens in bed smoking and the guy is shrivelled up? Eve smoking, adam shrivelled, reader astral projecting.

- those straps that can simulate ejaculation? Shes stuffing you!! Strap needs a refill? Adam steps in!! adam has become a raisin? Eve is back!! Rinse and repeat baby.

HSJAVAJAAHAH!!! this is so hot to me

being a cheerleader with eve…….imagine if she’s team captain too. omg. eve totally knows adam is into reader, she’s his ex after all. what eve also knows is reader plays for both teams and reader suspiciously always avoids eye contact with eve when they get dressed

NOT THE HITACHI WAND!!!!!!!!

adam very much is in my mind the type of guy who decides someone is his before even talking to them

i just have this scenario in mind where eve purposefully hold reader back for whatever reason and they’re alone in the showers together. just imagine reader and eve all soapy and eve finally makes her move and just making out with eve in the shower……………….GAHH

imagine adam walks in on that. maybe eve set it up maybe he wanted to finally ask reader out who knows. adam the voyeur that you can be!!!!!!!

the reason adam allowed to invite another person in bed is because he can’t keep up with his nympho gf 😭😭😭😭 they’re very much like that meme!!

god getting tag teamed by eve and adam. just them using you over and over again. they talk like you aren’t even there it’s lowkey really hot. it’s okay they make it up with a cuddle pile

[naffeclipse]

Chapter 11 has been devoured just like the heart of that mothman! (sidenote: when I saw the cw for heart eating my first thought was that they probably really enjoyed this one XD)

Ahh, y/n really was a mess in this one from letting Sun get hurt. Their confidence is dwindling a lot lately as they're so desperate to prove themselves strong. I can't help but think it comes from being alone for so long, since now they have a connection to someone that they are so afraid to lose and it's a bit hard for them to really see how solid that relationship has come along. The hunter does not seem to realize they are still putting a lot of what they have learned to be as a cryptid hunter that only needs to appear professional to other people. Of course they are very caring! But it seems showing weakness is something they have learned to avoid at all costs, whether with the people they interacted with and never saw again, or with their cryptid targets.

Every time that it has happened so far has weighted on them as a failure, even though they strive to believe that they can be scared and still be brave. But it's always been 'scared when no one else can see', and 'brave when they (ususally the monsters) can' . Now they have an onlooker and it's terrifying to them! They are placing themself in a trial where the hunter is the only judge! And boy are they judging! Sun and Moon are right to be concerned about them not taking their own injuries as seriously and reminding them that they are not dragging the DA in this, but rather that they are choosing to follow y/n willingly.

Good thing they have ways to be distracting heh >:3

As for the hunt itself that was so tense! We have that soft moment at the start where y/n is trying not to show themself as too vulnerable even though they are sharing how the demonic encounter changed their life forever. And then we had that very horror game like moment with the enemy so, so close, with light and sound being the worst enemies for survival. The fact that the lightning was disorienting to the Mothman was so cool, and the atmosphere was just excellent. I loved the great show of trust with Moon accepting turning off his optics and just letting y/n take the lead because of their skilled observation as a hunter! Like hey there is a hungry monster right outside (that endangers you), but I'll blind myself because I trust you! Chef kiss! And ooooh, the point blank shot was so cool!! And the detail with the light of the eyes fading along with the lightning!!! I loved that!

And omg it's so funny y/n decided to screw with them one last time with the boyfriend thing fdksljgh But it's even funnier to me that Sun and Moon just boldly flirt with them and make suggestive jokes about them taking their clothes off but the moment y/n sort of implies " you are more my type" Moon immediately is like "f-for realsies? uwu" What a dork XD

This is getting super long so I'll just add a couple more observations! So first F.E.I wants to control cryptids hmmmmmmmmm!! My first thought was how in Pizzeria Simulator Henry designed Lefty specifically to trap the possessed Marionette to manage to bring it somewhere hmmmmm. Got my eyes on that for sure!

Then we have Vanessa! Oh god, I wonder what she's been trying to hint at. Or if it's even her at more lucid moments. Because come to think of it, if the demon has possessed her, I wonder if it could look into her mind and know she knows y/n. And could be trying to attract them subtly through worry to be able to get them finally. The prey that got away. (Or maybe a more suitable vessel?)

Ahhh, things are coming together! I hope y/n is able to help Vanessa, and that maybe the boys start seeing her as less of a nuisance now that they know how loyal a friend she has been to y/n in the past XD Speaking of which, that reminds me of the vow! For a second there they were in a tight spot haha. I just imagine them discussing in their head frantically about what to say fkdjhgjkh and then y/n gives them an out and they are like "we shall be like the fae and word things very carefully" pffff. Now they can keep thei vow without revealing themselves and hold y/n to theirs!

Though I do wonder: can they really demand a vow to be upheld when the one making it upon request did so under deceitful circumstances? Especially if they find out?

Very excited to find out~

Hi, babe! ♥

Oh ho, Sun/Moon enjoyed eating this heart very much hehe

A lot of stress is building for Y/N and naturally, they strive to protect. Failing to do that, especially with their dear friend, broke their little heart ;-; Y/N is attempting to do everything all at once, but ah, neglecting their own health? Nope. Sun/Moon will not allow that!

Ahhhhahha thank you so much! Writing that action was a bit tough but I finally got it to the point where I was happy with it ♥ I'm so happy you enjoyed it!

ALJSFDA The boys aren't prepared for the script to be flipped so they're just all big heart eyes and caught off guard ♥ ♥ ♥

Good. Keep an eye on that F.E.I. and Vanessa stuff hehe

Sun and Moon in their head when Y/N asks for them to make a vow like that special order scene in Ratouttile but it's them growing increasingly panicked about the vow and what to tell Y/N!

"What did we tell them?"

"We told them we would make a vow!"

Good question hehe, hopefully, we'll find out soon ♥

Ahhhh, thank you so much for reading!!! I enjoy your comments so much! ♥

[runicmagitek]

So, what was it that drew you to KeinatsuBJ? 👀

omg not me trying to be Completely Normal while rambling about Them. Putting this under a cut, because MASSIVE SPOILERS for the game, but also AAAAAAA THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!!

I have always headcanon'd that BJ is Natsuno's first love. She's immediately attached to him and while it starts off as a "hey we're friends!" bit, it's VERY evident (to me, at least lol) that this lil guy means so so SO much more to Natsuno. And there is so much in the game that just leans into how much Natsuno cares about him. One of her MVP lines post-battle is something to the effect of "BJ! I did it!". Her last pilot skill is about BJ. Her route wraps up with BJ's death after he gives her his Sentinel. Even when she reunites with him in the simulation during the epilogue, she cried upon realizing he was back in her life.

And when you as the player realize who BJ actually is? And the backstory with 2188!keinatsu??? AND SHE ALSO STARTS HAVING FEELINGS FOR KEITARO??????? Ho boy, I'm always a sucker for lovers reincarnating and falling in love again and this ship just takes that idea and runs with it.

So while Natsuno doesn't have as many moments as Keitaro does with pining for her, she absolutely adores BJ, which… even SHE kind of notices during the final battle when she remarks to Keitaro that HE reminds HER of BJ. So in a sense, she's already falling for Keitaro. Just… you know, the previous version of him.

And I totally get this being squicky for some folks (it doesn't really faze me - it's fiction and clones like this aren't real), but I find the idea of Keitaro, the guy who is so ready to ignore his needs and sacrifice himself for the sake of everyone else, learning to love himself by… Literally Loving Himself… to be really sweet. But even if you take that out of the equation and approach it as a more V-shaped poly ship, Keitaro KNOWS BJ likes Natsuno. He GETS it, because it's HIMSELF. BJ confesses to him that he's fond of Natsuno and Keitaro just does not blink at that ever. And it's really sweet, as well, knowing that every version of Keitaro is drawn to Natsuno in some way. And vice versa too!

And then you look at the epilogue and they restored BJ in the simulation. One of the first things Keitaro mentions to him is if he'd like to ride in his nanomachines to see the outside world. And Natsuno immediately offers the same thing, as well. It's so sweet omg!!! They still remembered him!! And it's almost as if they had discussed this before diving back in???? 😭😭😭 and poor BJ is overwhelmed and just says "let me think about it" BUT ALSO NATSUNO AND KEITARO ARE OFF TO SEE HER PARENTS BUT ALSO BRING BJ ALONG TOO AND WHAT IF BJ GOT TO BE PRESENT VIA NANOMACHINES FOR THEIR WEDDING WHAT IF ALL THREE OF THEM GOT MARRIED AND WERE HAPPY TOGETHER I JUST JSDAKFJSDKFJKDSJFKDSJFKDSAJ

~cough~

With what Gouto and Ryoko mention with possibly bringing AIs into the real world via cloning tech, I imagine their initial test runs using the 1 loop ago gang would be ideal, seeing it would use existing DNA from the compatibles. And the thought of Natsuno and Keitaro bringing BJ back and he can have a body again and actually live after being so resigned to dying??? Oh my god I'm so soft for this.

But yeah. Lots of feels and thoughts for these three. Natsuno clearly loves both boys and I think she deserves both post-canon. And BJ and Keitaro would get along really well and spoil their wife. I just love Them and want them safe and happy together forever ���🥺 HOKAY THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK 💖

[tinalbion]

Hey so whenever you have the time, could you do and imagine where you have a fear of sex, so you go see Dr.Andover. When the two of you meet there is a mural attraction. Instead of using the fear simulation, he decided that he would be your treatment.

Oh anon, you are a genius and you know he'd be SO into you asking him to be your treatment? The ego on this man would skyrocket, you can't convince me otherwise. But having such a phobia just takes a lot of careful actions and very open communication. Imagine how SOFT this would be?! Omg, well, I hope you enjoy this~

"Show Me How" ||

Doctor Peter Andover x GN!Reader

Rating: Explicit; gender-neutral sex (kept it as vague as possible since it wasn't stated in the ask, I hope it's okay!), masturbation, doctor x patient 'relationship', consensual sex, guided masturbation

Length: 3k

Dr. Andover had seen very many things come in and out of his office, but never did he see something quite like you as you sat across from him. 

You came in with a case of genophobia, which was normal in most cases, but yours was incredibly elevated and the mere thought of any sexual intimacy had sent you into a spiraling panic. This was ruining any relationships that would blossom, it kept you feeling alone and isolated, and even your friends felt awkward whenever they would ask you to come and hang out when they invited their significant others. You wanted to see if there was a way you could at least lower the intensity of your phobia, you figured there was no way of truly curing you from it, so you heard through word of mouth of an incredibly talented doctor that could cure people of their worst fears. 

You did try many other ways with much trial and error, so you were desperate to find a way to cure yourself from the panic attacks, you at least wanted that.

So your roommate set up an appointment and got you in to see the doctor this week, and here you sat before him, curled into yourself on the plush chair in front of his desk. 

"Hello, I'm Doctor Andover, you must be Y/L/N," he greeted and held out his hand. 

You took it hesitantly and shook it quickly, then retracted your hand almost as quickly as you offered it. You noted how soft his hand felt in yours but immediately shook that thought away. 

"Hi," You replied simply. "I heard you're the best at helping cure people's fears. And I uh, well, mine is kinda heightened."

Doctor Andover chuckled and nodded as he sat back against his chair. "How kind of you to say," his voice replied smoothly. "I will admit, I do have a reputation to uphold, so I'm the ammunition to go to in these extreme situations." He leaned forward and looked at you over the glare of his glasses, giving you a small smile. "Well, it says here," he scammed his eyes over the paperwork you filled out, "that you have genophobia, the fear of sexual intercourse. It's very common in trauma patients, and also confused with erotophobia, which is the fear of any aspect of sex. There's also a common shared phobia of haphephobia, a fear of being touched. So tell me about it so we can make sure it's the right one we're treating."

You sat there uneasily and picked at the skin around your nails while you stared at the smooth surface of his desk. "Well, as a kid I wasn't really one to like hugs or kisses from family members and they found it odd, but they'd always say 'it was rude not to hug your aunt', so I was forced to hug my relatives up until I started fighting back physically. They stopped making me after an incident…

"And that's when…something else happened with a family member… I just don't wanna talk about that right now… but otherwise I was able to hold hands with someone when I was in high school, they asked me out and I wasn't sure which the right answer was, so I said yes. They wanted to take things so quickly, but I asked them to at least ask me when they wanted any affection. That didn't work out so well…" 

Dr. Andover nodded along and kept solid eye contact with you as you spoke, and he kept an open mind when you kept your answers semi brief, he understood the gist of it. "Unfortunately that sounds all too common for your situation, Y/N, but we do have several options for people with your case. How far have you gone with someone you've been in a relationship with? As in, what did you do with them to the point you were okay with?"

You sighed and recalled your past. "I've held hands, been kissed on the cheek, and a few times on the lips, but after a while, I got very uneasy when my ex would force me to kiss them out in public. I haven't had actual sex with any of my exes, they either dumped me for not doing anything with them or I broke it off because they expected it whenever they wanted and I told them no." 

You looked defeated and seemed as if you wanted to cry as you curled your legs closer to your chest. The doctor reread through your file and remained silent for a moment, gauging what exactly he could do here.

The way you looked at him though, he felt as if you trusted him wholly to help you, and he couldn't help but look at you as if you were such a fragile creature. Sure, he'd seen many walks of life in his office, but you were a very pure soul who looked for help and had been denied or let down so many times, he wanted to be the one to help you completely. 

He leaned forward and let out a sigh as he thought, exhausting every idea he could in his mind until you spoke up. 

"Doctor Andover-"

"Please," he interrupted you, "call me Peter."

"Okay, Peter, I know that my case is extreme, but if you can't help me, I'd understand. I just want to be able to enjoy my life to its fullest, you know?"

His eyes stared down at you and he couldn't help but smile. "I know, which is why I'm willing to personally see your case over. This is an escalated situation and you're so young, you deserve to feel everything that's included in that. But you have to trust me, and if you can't continue with our sessions, I want you to be one hundred percent honest with me, okay?"

You nodded and felt that you could absolutely trust him, especially when so many people had recommended him to help with your fears, it would be stupid not to trust him. 

For the next week, he oversaw your treatments and you had gotten into the large tank he had, wondering just how something like this would help you, but you listened and did everything he asked. But as time went on, nothing really helped you and you'd get incredibly anxious whenever you came out of treatment, but you found yourself to be calm around Doctor Andover. He would sit with you for long periods of time in your room, talking about his work or just talking about you and the things you enjoyed in life. 

He definitely wasn't expecting the next sentence to come out of your mouth, though.

He looked shocked as if he couldn't comprehend whatever he was hearing. "I beg your pardon?"

"Look, I know it's sorta drastic and a little weird, but it makes sense, right?" You sat up straight and looked at him expectantly. "How else am I supposed to move forward if nothing else is working?"

"To be clear, you're asking me to, uh, assist you personally in overcoming this fear?"

You nodded matter-of-factly and placed your shaky hand over his. "I haven't felt this comfortable with anyone in a very long time, so maybe you are the answer."

"I'm the treatment for you," he repeated. Then he laughed nervously and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and sat there wordlessly. "I will be quite honest with you, Y/N, I did feel a connection to you when I first met you in my office, but after hearing exactly why you were here, I couldn't exploit that. I've never done this before with a client."

"Hmm, I don't believe that, you're incredibly handsome…" You shifted closer to him on your bed and bit your lip gently, chewing on it as you sat beside him closer than you ever thought possible. "I appreciate that Doctor, I really do. But I've been thinking a lot about this, and if you think this is too extreme, I'd understand."

He turned to look at you and actually took in your features for the first time this close. He wasn't sure how to react around someone of your caliber, but he'd be sure to take things slow and use open communication. 

"Alright, well, I'll tell you before I'm about to do anything, okay? I'll be sure to walk you through it, but for now, you can close your eyes and concentrate on the sound of my voice. Breathe in and out slowly several times, then look at me when you're ready."

You nodded and shifted to look directly at him, the white wisps of hair that hung around his face covered some of his features, but it all soon went black as soon as you closed your eyes. You trusted him and he wouldn't steer you wrong. Then you took several long, deep breaths and opened your eyes again.

Peter had to fight the urge and the uncomfortable strain in his dress pants as he thought about you in so many ways, but he promised you he'd take care of you and that's what he'd do. He smiled and spoke gently. 

"I'm going to grab your hand and hold it, okay? Just simply hold it. If you want me to remove my hand, please tell me." 

You watched as he reached for your hand and placed it in his, his fingers entwined with yours and held them softly. You breathed in and out slowly, convincing yourself that this wasn't the end of the world, he was just holding your hand. Another platonic action that many people did. 

You smiled and nodded at him, urging Peter to continue. He began to stroke your hand with his thumb, taking it slow and easy for you, and his intense eyes were on you, waiting for any indication of discomfort. When you gave none, he upped the stakes and allowed his hand to skate up your arm, letting it rest on your elbow as he urged you to scoot forward. 

"Please tell me if-"

"I will," you breathed, "promise. Just please, keep going."

Doctor Andover pulled you forward until you sat in his lap, and that was one of the biggest steps you've taken so far, and you felt no discomfort while you were here with him. You slipped your legs on either side of him and sat comfortably straddling him, your heartbeat quickened as you felt him beneath you, shifting from how uncomfortable his election was becoming. You could see his breathing hitch whenever you moved against him, you could tell he wanted you badly. 

The sounds that came from him only made you want to continue, and it was incredibly hard to push yourself to do this, but the way Peter allowed you to take control over him like this had really helped you, taking your actions at your own pace was something you never really had the option for. While you watched his face relax as your hand drifted down his chest, your attention was stolen once he made a very guttural growl as your hand barely touched just an inch away from his inner thigh. You could tell the pain he was in when you saw just how tight his pants were, so you placed your hand on his belt buckle.

"Did you want me to take these off? You seem to be in some discomfort," you smiled and tugged at the belt. 

"Yes, oh my god, please," he begged, his breathing picked up once your hands fumbled with the black leather, but he watched intently.

He sprang out from his pants, his underwear already ruined with pre cum seeping through. You weren't sure how to really handle yourself for this, so you looked up to him and bit your lip. "I'm not really sure how to continue, show me?"

God, he was having a hell of a time trying not to pin you down and take you all for himself, your innocence only made him hungrier for it. He hadn't been touched in a long time by someone else and it showed. 

"We-well, you can go about it several ways," he began, "it all depends on you though. Foreplay is uh, important, it helps prep both people for one another. So if you were to either lick your hand or spit in it and then slowly start stroking, it-"

You cut him off by placing your hand on it and stroked him gently just once, and Peter threw his head back, letting out a low moan. You then licked your hand like he explained and experimented again, stroking him once, twice, and he was already bucking his hips upward.

"I'm sorry!" He barked. "It just feels so amazing, you're doing so-so well. Did you want to stop?" He brought his head back to look at you and you shook your head. 

"I think I want to try," you said firmly. "Please let me know if I'm doing it right." You pushed yourself off of him and began to strip, naturally, his eyes were on you and he fought hard against helping you. 

When you were standing bare before him, you felt yourself slowly leaking down the sinside of your thighs, Peter took notice of it immediately and licked his lips as you climbed back on top of him. 

"Can I sit on you?" You asked softly. 

He held out his hands and helped you ease yourself onto his cock, the groan that tore from his throat was almost animalistic as you sunk down slowly onto him, he stretched you out and you took your time to fully push him all the way in until he was buried inside of you. You leaned forward and sighed as your head rested on his shoulder, just easing yourself into this as your hands began to shake a little. 

"Am I doing good?"

"Fuck, Y/N, you're doing so good, ahh, yeah just take it one step at a time. When you're ready, you can rock your hips and go at your own pace."

You did as he told you and slowly, you began to gently rock back and forth against him, and you felt that the way he stretched you out felt better than you expected. Peter's hands sat on either side of your waist and he couldn't help but tighten his grip whenever you pushed yourself fully back onto him. 

You let out a few muffled sounds of your own and moaned his name, which he found incredibly hot. 

"Yeah, I love when you call out my name like that," he purred as he threw his head back. 

"Mhm, I think I like calling it out," you confessed. "Ahh, Peter, please, show me how it's done, fuck-"

At that, he warned that he was going to have you move to where your back was against his chest, then he eased himself back inside of you, his hands on both of your thighs. While he lay back against the mattress, he thrust his hips upward as he held you still, and the feeling of him constantly hitting your spot just right over and over again drove you wild.

"Oh my god, Peter- FUCK!" 

He slowed as he was about to ask you if he should continue, but you bounced your hips against him, causing him to stop mid-sentence.

"Don't stop, please, keep going!"

He continued to thrust upward into you, his hands gripping your chest, your arms, anywhere that he could hold onto you so you wouldn’t slip. He was so close to his end but knew better than to ruin you the first time, so he begged you to slow down so he could reposition you again. When you knew that he was close, you lay back against your mattress and stared up at him, his face was slick with sweat while his hair clung to him, and his breathing was heavy as he took a moment to check on you.

“You’re still okay?” he asked softly.

You nodded and gave him a gentle smile. “Yeah, I feel… I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel that I can trust you.” You reached your hand up and played a bit with his hair. “It’s almost like I didn’t even think that my phobia was real…” Your words trailed off while Peter leaned in close to you, his face shifted from thoughtful to kind.

He stroked the side of your face and smiled before asking once again if you wanted to continue, and once you gave him the go-ahead, he slowly eased himself back inside of you, the feeling of you clenching around him made him shutter. You reached your arms around him and held him to you as he began to build his pace up again, and you could feel yourself getting that odd feeling in the pit of your stomach. Peter warned you again that he was getting close, his voice almost taken from him as he groaned your name over and over again. 

“Y/N, I’m going to– ahh fuck, I’m about to cum,” he growled. 

“Then cum, Peter, please.”

He quickly pulled out from you and wrapped his hand around his cock, the pressure that built up during your session finally released all over your bare chest and stomach, his heavy panting and pathetic groans filling the room. You hadn’t been completely satisfied yet, but you didn’t expect to be, this was only the first time you were able to push this experiment onto him. 

Doctor Andover collapsed beside you on the bed and couldn’t help but lift his head to look at you. “I’m sorry it didn’t go as long as it could have, like I said, it’s–”

You laughed and shook your head. “Are you kidding? This was the first time I’d done anything like this in so long, I don’t expect either of us to know what the hell we were doing. But I want to thank you for indulging my silly treatment idea, it’s definitely shown me it’s possible that I can trust someone.”

He smiled and let out a breathy laugh. “Guess you could say I’ll have to keep providing you this treatment, hmm, Y/N?”

With a large smile, you turned away and stared up at the ceiling, your heart still pounding wildly as you lay there. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

This was going to prove to be a very interesting session.

[shaarlslec]

Omg I can imagine the fluff like Xavier is happy you are home but Charles can tell something is wrong as you are putting up a fake persona but hiding the pain in your eyes

Did my hands just slipped and accidentally wrote a 1000 words preview for that based on this and the other anon?

Yes. So, there you go:

Xavier flew into your arms as the door opened, and you could not say no to that even after what a dreadful afternoon that was for you back at the hospital.

You snuggled the little champ close and briefly patted the boy’s chestnut hair, “How was your race today, champ?” You asked him, grabbing Xavier by both shoulders as you stood on one of your knees to better see the boy smiling back at you with both the excitement of you being back home and him standing on the podium earlier that day.

“P2!” He then exclaimed throwing both hands in the air, “I am sure that by the end of the season I am going to score at least two P1s, and you must be there to see!” Xavier shouted, and you could not hold back your smile although smiling was the last thing you were thinking about – faking it for Xavier was worth the try, “Dad told me that you were busy at work today, but can you make it to the next one? Pretty please?” He then asked you, fluttering his pinky finger in the air.

You half-hearted chuckled and handed your pinky finger to the child, “I promise.” You then spoke after kissing the back of Xavier’s hand to seal the promise, “Where is your dad, anyways?” You asked, watching around the hall without not a sight of Charles. You needed him, oh you needed him so badly. Seeing Xavier and hugging Charles after what happened today were the two things you needed the most. Just that. 

“Upstairs, we are playing on the simulator come and join us!” Xavier enthusiastically spoke as he took your hand to get to the stairs. You would have wanted to say “No, not this time, I am crucially tired, and I want to lock myself in the bathroom and cry.” And yet, Xavier’s little hand gripped too tightly to yours to refuse the little guy’s offering. 

Instead of saying what you wanted to let it out loud, you faked yet another smile and went upstairs with him where you immediately spotted Charles having the time of his life in front of the F1 simulator too engage to even notice Xavier coming back with you. You took a seat on the armchair next to the door and just watched Charles from the side as Xavier went into his lap to watch his father closely acing the race even on virtual ground. 

The faked smile from earlier turned on a genuine one on your face. You had never pictured that being truly home would mean watching two guys playing in virtual cars after what was one of the most frightful days at your job, and yet there you were laid back in the chair watching them fool around while Charles was explaining to Xavier how to take tight corners and how fast you should go in a straight line to take a better care of soft tires. You chuckled at how serious Charles seemed to be, while Xavier did nothing but clap at each overtake his father took. 

The sound of your laugh filled the air from the door to Charles’ ears and that was his cue to pause the game, “Oh, you are home love!” Your boyfriend enthusiastically spoke as he went above and beyond to place Xavier from his lap fully into the chair, “You take it from here champ, remember what I just thought you.” Charles then playfully warned before placing a kiss on Xavier’s forehead and getting ready to snuggle you close in a welcoming embrace that you would have wished to carry on forever. 

“Do you want to play?” Charles asked you as he departed but was tossed right back into your arms as your hands gripped stiffer around the man’s waist, not wanting to let him go yet. 

Charles muttered an “oh” into your ear, signaling that he already figured out that something had happened to you. Your boyfriend decided to say nothing but just press his lips on your forehead and rub one of his palms against your back while tightening as stiffer as you his other arm around your body. 

This was what you craved that evening. You stood with your head buried into the man’s chest for a while as you deeply sighed remembering the horrors of the day. Once you lifted your glare to eye Charles already looking down, you tried to fake yet another smile as you muttered an “Yes, I am home.” 

Charles was everything but not a fool that could be easily tricked by the corners of your lips lifting in such a poignant way, “Do you want to talk now about it?” He then asked knowing now that something for sure had happened to you as he got the hairs out of your face as he cupped it with both of his palms to rub both of his thumbs against your cheeks waiting for your nod of approval that came right away.

“Can we go for a ride?” You pleaded, “I really do not want Xavier to hear.” You spoke, watching over your shoulder how the ten-year boy was getting frustrated for being passed by a McLaren, “It is about a child about his age.” You then whispered, making sure that Xavier had no clue about what was going on meters away from him. 

Charles kissed your forehead one more time and got his phone out of the pocket to ask Lola to stay with Xavier for a couple of hours, “Little champ,” Charles called as he turned back to his son, “Pretty lady wants to go groceries shopping, do you want to come with us?” 

Xavier’s face immediately crooked, you and Charles chuckled at the man’s expression knowing how much he despised going in supermarkets to watch and sit around for hours as you were too picky with vegetables, “Can I please stay here and finish the race?” He then pleased with headsets half off his ears, “And can you pretty please bring me that chocolate ice-cream that I like?”

Charles huffed, “What a prince behavior you have little one, who do you take after to like to be served without moving an inch?” He then joked as you and Charles had a quick exchange of glances, “Texted Lola,” Charles then announced as he glanced down to his phone, “She will be here in ten minutes.” He then spoke to Xavier who was already busy to be back in the game, “Look at him now Y/N, already ignoring his father who raised him through thick and thin.” Charles silly goofed in a raspy tone, trying to put a genuine smile on your face which he managed to do so. 

“You just sounded like an extremely old man, Charles.” You spoke, exiting the room at Charles’ arm. 

“Oh well, having an extremely good-looking and way smarter younger girlfriend can do that to you.” Charles teased, clasping his fingers in between yours just to lift your hand enough to kiss the back of it.  

“I am just three years younger than you.” You commented, letting out a genuine smile to sprung on your face again, “I cannot deny the good-looking and way-smarter part though, you are right.” You spoke, teasing him back.  

Charles smiled back, there was no more beautiful imagine to him that your smile or laugh when he cracked a silly joke. You knew then that no matter how hard of a day you had, you will always find people to comfort you back home and that stayed as a reminder that there is still good in this awful world for you to enjoy.  

[kiwibirbs-library]

Could you write the fluffiest possible one shot you can think of for keith x reader? The idea of him being all shy and nervous around you and you being the same way around him is just too adorable! It can be whatever you want! :)

a/n: YES YES YES A MILLION TIMES YEEEEEESSSSS OMG EEEE ok calm down calm yes

Ok ok I’ve been saving this idea and I think this is it’s moment to shine hehe

“How do you do that?” Keith’s voice came from behind you as his door slip closed. You looked behind you.

“Do what?” You arched a brow at him.

“The— the bra- thing,” suddenly he realized what he asked and got red. He looked away slightly.

You two had been training in the simulation room all day. You bother we’re tired and just got out of the shower when he asked if you wanted to spend the night in his room. Of cours eh oh wanted to and you already had clothes there so you happily went in as the door slid open. Almost immediately you turned away for a moment to take your shirt off and undo the clasp of your bra.

Honestly you didn’t think much of it. He’s seen you completely naked before and— from the way he was acting— seemed to enjoy it so who the heck cares.

You smiled before slipping your shirt back on.

“What undoing the clasp?” You giggled before walking up to your boyfriend.

“Doing it with one hand I mean,” he gave a fake cough into his hand and looked back to you. “I mean it as shard when—- I MEAN—“

“KEITH KOGANE” you tapped for a moment. “HAVE YOU OUT ON ONE OF MY BRAS BEFORE???” You had to slap your hand on your mouth to keep from laughing as loud as you wanted.

“NO! Well I mean yes but NO!!”

“That’s impossible!”

“No it’s not!”

“You’ve put one on haven’t you?!” You snorted.

“Ok to be fair you said you were trashing it anyways and I wanted to see what the fuss was about. My question still stand though. About how— you do— that,” he was practically glowing red now and refused to meet your eyes. You laughed as you messed your arms around his waist and looked up.

“Well I don’t know. Practice maybe?” Laughter rang in every word you said.

“Stop laugh,” Keith said as h ducked his head into your shoulder.

“I’m not laughing anymore!” A clear lie.

“Yes you are,” he groaned, sneaking his hands behind him and gripping your wrists.

“Ok maybe a little but it think it’s justifyyyieee-“ your last word was drawn out as he yanked your hands even further behind him and you were pulled flush against him. He looked down at you.

“Technically I was just evening things out,” you pouted.

“Evening? Evening what?” You tilted your head.

“You always wear my clothes. This makes us even,” you nodded at his words.

“Mmm very true very true, I can’t bribe mine are as comfy to you as yours are to me though,” you giggled to yourself again.

“Definitely Not. It felt like a belt being tied around my lungs,” his face scrunched.

“Ahh welcome to the ways of the female,” you giggled before finally hugging him tightly. He returned it with a kiss to your head.

You never thought this was a conversation that you’d have with him but it was nice it happened, you couldn’t lie.

[gohyuck]

RAYA JUST SAW YOUR POST AND MUAH MUAH LOVE YOU SM

haechan + recently, (by Liana Flores) ?

THANK YOU SO MUCH BYE RAYA I LOVE YOU

hiii i love you omg!! this is my new fav song thank you for dropping it into my inbox holy fuck. anyways here goes

“you’ve never called me perfect before.”

his cheek is smushed against your knee, and his matter-of-fact statement comes out muffled because of it. there’s no bitterness there, no underlying annoyance: he’s merely observing out loud.

“do you want me to call you perfect?” the words are smoother than you expect them to be as they leave your tongue, given just how long you and your lover have sat in silence. you’re careful as you brush his hair out of his eyes, over and over and over again. your blue blouse’s bishop sleeve caresses the edge of his jaw and the curve of his neck and shoulder as you do this, but he says nothing of it.

“no.” hyuck turns over so the nape of his neck fits over part of your thigh. his eyes meet yours as best they can.

you do nothing but hum in understanding. donghyuck reaches a pastel yellow button-down clad arm up, gripping your wrist light between a thumb and pointer finger before pulling your hand away from his hair. he presses a chaste kiss to your wrist, right at your pulse point.

“no,” he continues, a corner of his mouth quirking up. “it’s why you’re so special to me.”

you suppose there’s a weight that comes with being the very sunlight that warms a room. expectations color your boyfriend’s personal atmosphere, pressing down on him constantly to the point where you wonder if he remembers what clear air is like. perfect is an obligation for him; something he has to be.

lee donghyuck is loud, and sometimes, though it’s rare now, he takes jokes too far, and he’s achingly stubborn, and there are times you swear the mischievous glint in his eye is backed by a sliver — just a sliver — of pure sadism. you like him because he’s your beautiful, brilliant boy, full of love and life and laughter even when the world seems against him, and you love him despite his imperfections. he appreciates that you’re there to remind him of the fact that he has any at all while keeping him grounded in love rather than fear.

you keep him feeling human.

“recently, everyone says they’re seeing less of me,” he sighs, his smile slipping again, and you thread your fingers through the strands of his hair once more. “i could do better if i had energy. be like i used to be.”

“who you are now is just as wonderful as who you’ve been,” you finally say something full of substance, recognizing that he needs a real response from you this time. “and if it’s energy you need, we have time to rejuvenate over your break. together, if you’d like.”

“god, i made date night all mopey.” hyuck laughs, though you can tell he’s delighted at your implication that you’re ready to spend his much-needed upcoming vacation time with him. he’d been worried about asking. you laugh with him, shaking your head as a form of letting him know just how endeared you are by him.

“break together, huh?” your boyfriend continues, gently moving your hand away from his hair before sitting up straight on the gingham blanket that’s laid out on your living room floor. picnic simulator. he crosses his legs before reaching over and tapping gently on the side of one of your knees, silently urging you to unfold your own legs. once you’ve done so, hyuck wastes no time in swinging your calves over his lap, craving closeness in whatever ways he can get it.

“i can picture it now, us walking straight into the sea, laughing as waves come rolling to my knees.” the hope in his voice is tangible, an unspoken question in the air between you two. you nod, leaning close until your forehead is against his before replying.

“what a place we’ll be in, side by side, safe and fine.”

[violetnotez]

HC: The Boys Taste Their S/o’s Chapstick

Anonymous:  could I request headcannons for shinso, mirio, denki, sero, and bakugo kissing their s/o and tasting their chapstick ? Or if you want or when they realize their s/o takes care of them in really subtle ways that they didn’t really notice it at first ? i love your blog so much 🥺❤️

Hey babe omg Im so happy you like my blog!!!! Also this ask OMG I have been wanting to write it for so long!!!! Im a sucker for these super cute and fluffy headcanons, so thank you so much for the idea!

Pairings: Shinso x reader, Mirio x reader, Denki x reader, Sero x reader, Bakugo x reader

Warnings: some might get suggestive, but none of these are full blown NSFW! Just a sprinkle of spiciness, thats all!

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

S H I N SO U

Flavor: Cherry Vanilla

Your currently trying to get ready for bed with Shinsou, his purple hair cascading against the pillow as he’s scrolling through Insta

defintely looking at cat vids

Youre just BEAT from the day- work, school, practice, whatever your life entails it just felt so incredibly tiring today

Of course, Shinsou seems to have other plans

Once he sees you come out of the bathroom, your hair wet, your skin dewy from washing, your body only wearing one of his oversized shirts and some small shorts....

man is gonna wanna be allllll over you

“Damn, kitten who allowed you to look that hot,” he’d purr, his eyes drinking you in as he propped his body on his elbows to get a better look

You’d roll your eyes, a smile on your lips-

Lowkey a perv for his s/o fight me on this

Once you sit down on the bed, its over

Shinso’s hands are all over you, his palms trailing under your shirt as he leaved lazy kisses on your neck

“Cmon, baby, lets have a little fun before we sleep....”

Just tell him your tired, and he’ll comply, turning super fluffy and cuddly in a matter of minutes

Reluctantly tho this boi is horny when hes horny

“Ahh my kitten’s tired? Fine then, you need your rest.”

He’ll lean in to give a sweet kiss, unknowingly of how flavorful you taste now with your chapstick

And OHOHOHO after that its OVER

The taste of vanilla bursts in his mouth, the scent of cherry becoming more prominent-

When did you start tasting so good?

He honestly wont know how to react- he’ll shake his head and blink a few times, “The hell-?” spilling out of his lips

He grabs you buy the chin, his thumb swiping against your lips gently

Once he sees the faint red sheen on his digit, it kinda dawns on him whats going on

You catch on to his confusion, a small giggle spilling out of you as you tell him its just chapstick you bought since your lips felt dry

He’ll just give you a lazy smirk, his lilac eyes a royal purple as he eyes you

This man cant HELP HIMSELF

He’ll lean in for another kiss, this one lasting much longer and more passionate as he tried to capture that taste again

“Do me a favor and keep wearing that kitten,”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

M I R I O 

Flavor: Birthday Cake

Im so proud of fidning this picture im sorry it just matches so well

Anywaysssssssss

You had just gotten out of the locker room, your UA uniform a little wrinkled from being balled up while you were training

You walked out the metal doors, your lips feeling much softer than usual- you were in desperate need of chapstick after that particular lesson

Thanks UA for having training grounds that blow up every 5 seconds and spray dust everywhere

But thankfully Neijire is the best person ever and hooked you up with some super cute chapstick

Since it was new and just sitting in her book bag, she just told you to keep it

NEIJIRE WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO SWEET?

You had to admit though, you really liked it- the packaging was pretty cute, it was nice on your skin, but the SMELL

OMG

You felt like a bakery was near you every step you took

And everytime you licked your lips it tasted like sweets, which was an amazing addition

Makes ya wonder how safe it is to consume makeup 👀

Mirio is the cutest boyfirend though-wherever your class is, he waits for you outside and walks with you until you have to go your seperate ways

So, as usual, he’s waiting for you outside the locker room, a wide grin plastered on his face

Once he sees you walk out of the doors, he’s already bounding over, his arms swinging cause hes always just so happy to see you 

“Hey sunshine!” he greets you like any other day, his voice just radiating happiness

Some days though, Mirio will kiss the top of your head as he grabs your hand and walks you to his class

Other days, he’s a little more bold, instead leaning down to give you a kiss on your lips as he snakes his hand around your waist

TODAY BABE 

IS THAT DAY

You can tell he’s feeling a little more *frisky cause he’s got this mischievous glint in his eyes

ehhhh why not indulge him?

So you get on your tippie toes, leaning in to him and planting a quick kiss on his lips

But thats when Mirio gets confused- did you eat something?Is it cake? CInnamon roll? Cookie? But whatever it is, it tastes GOOD

“Sweetie, did you buy something from the vending machine?” he asks, a confused grin on his face as he eyes you

You laugh, not realizing that Mirio would be affected by your new chapstick too, 

“Oh no, its just a chapstick Niejire gave me, I think its cake batter flavored- do you like it?”

Mirio licked his lips , savoring the lingering flavor on his skin

“You batter belive it!”

*cue the groaning

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

D E N K I

Flavor: Pina Colada

So Mina, bless her little music crazed heart, somehow won a pack of tickets from a radio station to a new water park opening up not too far from UA

It was superrrrr expensive to get in, but the music station hooked all you guys up with VIP tickers, a private cabana, food, THE WORKS

You had been running around with the group all day

(except Bakugo- he either went to the lazy river or the surfing simulator thignie cause Kaminari said he would wipe out and wanted to prove him wrong)

Everybody else wanted to do everythingggg, from ride the craziest rides to trying all the food the park had

By the end of the day, you were completely beat and just wanted to rest

Mina was sitting beside you in  the cabana (again, thank you radio station for hooking some teens up!), just searching it for snacks the boys hadnt eaten

“Aww cmon, really?! We have chapstick but no food?!”

Your head instantly perked up at the sound- chapstick? God, you could deifnitely use some right now from all that chlorine and sun...

You asked Mina to toss you one, the pink skinned girl throwing you a tube as she grumbled about how “piggy” boys were

You checked the flavor on the tube, the fruits on the side label instantly telling you it was something tropical

As you were putting it on, the boys of Bakusquad were bounding up the steps, their feets covered in sand-

“Guess what?! We got Bakugo to go in the wave pool! Isnt that crazy! It had sand on the bottom, like a real beach-”

Kirishima was just gushing and super excited, Bakugo looking like a pissed off wet cat next to him

You sat up quickly, happy to see your boyfriend, his spiky hair all wet from the day and his boxers dripping

As Kirishima and Sero were messing with an extremely annoyed Bakugo, you went and grabbed the boys some towels, giving the last one to your boyfriend

“Aww thanks babe,” he gushed out, his hands grabbing the towel gingerly as he leaned to kiss you

But wait- you tasted- really sweet?

Kaminari pulled back slightly, a small smirk on his lips, cause damn, that tasted really good

“Did you eat some fruit or something? Cause you taste super yummy babe-”

You  pointed to your lips as you told him how Mina found some free chapstick lying around in the cabana

Kaminari just gave you this really blissed out stare as he sneaked one more peck from you- he was kinda wishing his friends weren't here, cause hed totally be making out with you with that yummy stuff on your lips...

“Do me a favor and dont take that stuff off, okay? Until we get back to the dorms,”

He sent you a small wink, weaving behind you inconspicously, and giving your bottom a playful pinch

WHY YOU GOTTA BE A FLIRT KAMINARI

(Also before you left Kamianri most definitely dumped the whole jar of chapsticks into his backpack)

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ 

S E R O

Flavor: Peppermint

You and Sero had just gotten coffee from a little cafe when it starts to rain

Like alottttttttttt

And of course it happens when your right outside, waiting for your ride to take you back home

So you two are just standing there like weirdos with the rain POURING, Sero holding up his jacket over both of your heads

But honestly, it’s not doing much to block out the rain, so honestly-why not have some fun?

You run out of the fabric, instantly feeling your whole body get drenched as you start twirling and laughing

“He-hey wait, babe!”

Sero’s gonna be laughing, and now y’all playing a wierd game of tag

Aghhhhhh so cute tho 🥺🥺

He catches you pretty quickly, his tape grabbing your waist and pulling you to him,,,

You instantly collide with his chest, your cheeks rosy from running around so much and your hands resting on his chest

Sero gives you the biggest grin, his finger under your chin and raising it to look at him

“You know your the biggest tease I know?”

“Yup!”

He laughs, placing a kiss on your lips-and omg why are you minty? and it feels soooo good to him, cause honestly mint isn’t a bad flavor-

“Hey babe whatcha got on your lips? Did you eat-gum or something?”

You just laugh and tell him it’s some chapstick you got (imagine the mint eos U KNOW THE ONE)

He asks if it’s the egg chapstick OML 💀

Yes Sero the egg chapstick

His lips are parted a little, his eyes wider than usual cause he’s lowkey confused on how he liked that so much

But he send you another huge grin before he kisses you again-

“I think your gonna need to wear that more for me, yeah?”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

B A K U G O

Flavor: Cinnamon

Bakugo has ben practically forcing you to wake up at ungodly hours with him to train

He says its cause “youre getting weak” but really he’s a total simp for having such close contact with you

Also he’s a little brat and put his all into it  so you cant ever beat him, which boosts his ego for some reason?

“Hah, that really the best you got?” he scoffs down at you, his calloused hands pinning you to the ground as his body cages you in for the umpteenth time

Honestly, its hard to fight when your 1) annoyed about loosing and 2) have your hot as hell boyfriend pining you to the ground

But thankfully

THANKFULLY

He was starting to overheat, his breathe coming out in low pants as  strands  of hair began sticking to his forehead

You felt one of his palms begin to slip ever so slightly near you, and on instinct you knew you had to do something, you finally had an opening-

so you caused a distraction 

Your hands quickly flew to the nape of his neck, pressing his head down to your so you could kiss him square on the lips

Bakugo was completely confused in the best way possible- he didnt expect that to happen, but hell, hes not complaining-

until his lips start to tingle

“-the hell?!” he sputters out, his mind trying to figure out what was going on just before you successfuly flip him over, with you now on top

You stared down triumphantly at your boyfriend, not knowing how well that worked- until you noticed how shiny Bakugo lips look

He begins mashing his lips together, trying to rub it off since you had his hands pinned down

“The hell is on my lips? Agh, dont tell me its that weird ass lip stuff that supposed to make your lips bigger or something-’’

Ummmmm how does he know about lip plumping lip gloss? Question for a another day-

“Its chapstick silly,” you giggle, “-cinnamon”

Honestly, he’s gonna like it-this boy likes spicy things and the fact that “spicy” sensation came from his s/o....shoooottttt he is in love

But

Of course

He’s gonna act like it’s wierd or something, cause HES wierd

“Cinnamon? You couldn’t get something normal like cherry or grape?”

You scrunch up your nose, cause yeah your not for those flavors AT ALL, and Bakugo finds his chance

He quickly flips you over, your back now against the floor and his body on top of yours

“Cmon, baka don’t tell me thats seriosuly all you got-“

Don’t remind him that you were able to flip him over tho he’ll turn red and tell you to shut it

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[mashiraostail]

Hi could I ask for headcanons of aizawa realizing his quiet student has been sneaking out of the dorms to the forested area behind the school at the crack of dawn or in the evening when everyone is settling down and he notices that whenever she sneaks off she makes sure she's not seen but when he follows her once it turns out she was caring for her secret garden that she didn't want anyone to find out about because it's sort of her secret oasis to destress. Thanks :]

yeah!!! omg so cute (.: wholesome content under the cut!

He notices you slipping and in and out, and when you run into teachers on patrols they usually let you off the hook, you weren’t a trouble maker so when he saw you late one night during his patrols coming back to the dorm buildings he lets you be. The next time he spots you it’s earlier than he’d expect any of his students to be awake, the sun had barely started to come up, so he followed you quietly, he just wanted to make sure everything was alright, and check-in with you, if you were returning so late, and leaving so early in the morning he’d be worried you weren’t getting enough sleep.  He watches from a tree as you empty the contents of a watering can onto a small garden, bright flowers, and some small veggie plants and herbs surrounded your ankles.  He knew you as a student to be slightly nervous, he was regularly on your case about making faster decisions and worrying less. You were jumpy at best and downright anxious at worst, but he saw a lot of potential in you he knew he just had to fix the crack in your spirit.   “Hey, you.” The way you quite literally jump out of your skin at his voice was proof enough of his point.  “Mister Aizawa I’m sorry-” You hold a hand up to him, “i didn’t even hear you. I guess that’s to be expected of a pro like you huh?”  “Practicing with your quirk?” He asks, taking a seat by the tree he was previously perched in.  “no, I just..no.” You look a little embarrassed, “just looking for some peace and quiet. I love my classmates, and I know I’m lucky to be here, but sometimes I just wanna get away from it all. So I come out here. No one bothers me and everyone appreciates the fresh herbs and stuff so it’s a win-win. I started this when we moved into the dorms and I’ve been growing it ever since.” “You don’t have to justify exhaustion with love. I know you’re glad to be here, it’s normal to be tired. I feel the same way sometimes, I’m sure we all do.”  You nod at that and look around nervously, “am I breaking any rules or-”  “No.” He shrugs, “you wanna be alone?”  “I’m not kicking you out! NO! I just..I was worried that’s why you were here.” He shrugs again and beacons you to sit with him. So you shuffle over and sit on the other side of the big tree root, gnarled bark separating you from your mentor. “Being a hero is hard. Being a good hero is even harder.” He drops his head back against the tree bark and you nod at him as he continues.  “Hard things are stressful. Being a hero never gets easy, there’s no muscle memory that ever kicks in, it’s always different and harder every time. The world keeps changing and you have to change with it. There’s no shutting your emotions off.” “Are you saying..” You look up at him sort of hopelessly, “that I..”  “Let me finish.” He holds a hand up and you snap your mouth shut. “To be a good hero you need to find ways to keep your feet on the ground, even when the rest of you isn’t. You’ve gotta keep your head on your shoulders, even when you don’t really know where your shoulders are exactly.” He lets out a small huffy laugh, “by doing this sort of thing you’ve proven to me, more than I already believed, you have the capacity to be a great hero someday.” He rests an arm over his bent knee, “you just need to stick with it, hard things will never stop being stressful, and being a hero is going to be hard. But if you can find ways to escape that distress, and get your body back to center, then you should, and I’m proud of you for figuring that out on your own.” He gets up with a small grunt and pats your shoulders, “I’ll keep this between us. I’ll let the other teachers know you’ve got my permission to be out here.”  “Thank you Mister Aizawa-” You look up at him, “that was really helpful...”  “Eh.” Aizawa stretches his arms above his head, “just make sure you sleep enough alright?”  “Yessir.” You nod and his hand comes down on the back of your head as he passes you,  “Alright then, sounds good to me.”  From then on if anyone is ever looking for you he knows where to find you, but beyond that he drops in every so often, asks you how you’re doing, how this is helping your stress, and not often but occasionally if you do extraordinarily well in class maybe in a simulation or on an exam, you’ll find some seed packets or fertilizers with your things, a new watering can or trowel out by the flowers, he never admits to it but you’re sure it’s him.

[misterbitches]

so like life sucks right so im trying to pluck my face and i stumbled upon bounprem stuff even tho i've been watching like nothing or drumming videos (i lied... know why, cos i keep clicking on fanmade mvs for winteamidk why bc i hate watching them but they give me info in extremely close amounts of time)

ANYWAY

con: is boun rich? if so, shame

pro: everything else. i ESPECIALLLLLLLY like how they want to work behind the camera!!!!!!! it seems like that was boun's goal all along which really excites me as a ~filmmakeur~ and i like that prem may try it too. i laughed when he didnt know what a slate was but he didn't know about production and he's a green actor so i can believe that but he shouldnt sell himself short cos being an actor can give you a lot of insight into the behind the scenes work. it also makes u appreciate us more :)

this makes me want to hug my friends lmao i havent seen or touched friends and i'm fucking single and im high alone GOD WHY!!!!

anyway my point was that im high and love them and i hope they do art >:)

lastly, i hope they are friends forever they have great chemistry and their true actual care for e/o. i was thinking about how i don't ship people but i enjoy seeing good relationships esp in this context. bl is really devoid of a lot of shit but i think what's the best thing about seeing two people who share a space and are being looked at is the chemistry of how that dynamic works as co-workers and, hopefully, close friends. that's why pretend camraderie is important when doing (dumb) press-circuits (so people can make ze $)

it's always nice to see natural chemistry or people learning their rship or even people who may not be close after shooting (in any context, but here in particularly) but find themselves as older casual friends to catch up with. since this genre is so heavily focused on blurring those lines or whatever when things start getting weird (like from exposure and lack of good skilsl of acting and/or care or whatever idk im high) or they have shitty rships in between them for whatever reason u can immediately tell

so like oh your chemistry is real ! on top of that for some it's like oh real and ur playing characters that are falling in love. idk what im saying it's just reaally exciting to meeee u have a perosn with u supporting u thru the same process u r. also with two people there's always going to be someone who picks up not...slack but is more into a leadership type position (i hate using this word) but somoene you rely on if you arent the type to want to take care of eveyrthing—a lot of friends and couples do it (i do with my best friends. literally i'll be quiet and let them do things im too embarrassed to do but im still insanely forceful and i will play that role for them if needed) so bounprem have that in their natures and boun being older and slightly mroe mature (or i would say again different natures who knows)

it's the same type of joy you get and excitement you feel when ensemble casts truly like each other and it's ~natural energie~ (like in my engineer the whole feel of it i'm just like omg u guys are FRIENDS fijshoufija theyre so cute; hope theyre all okay) it also shows that you have someone/people you trust and having fun on set is really important. filming should be fun. a lot of times i don't like finishing shows because if the chemistry is good for the cast i feel like empty, like im leaving the set. that's a really good feeling tho!!!

anyway i think a big part of it (im still trying to articulate myself) is the fact that they dont have to be real but have the capacity to be and can set the limits of their rship but it's really nice to have a really influential set of people who want the best for you and vice versa esp if someone knows u more intimately in a capacity many people may not experience/understand because of ur job (IE showing as ~lovers~ but being friends irl even tho uve been very intimate for simulation and artistic value. this is based on a specific set of principles btw i'm not including sex work here bc it's also very different and a job in a different way but it doesnt make it lesseer than anything. all jobs suck tho)

ALSO I realize how easily their personalities fit winteam not in a 'they dont have to try" way cos they do and should. they're ok actors and the more u do and learn etc but the chemistry tests they probably had with them probably solidified that even though they are very diff than their characters. being an insanely good swimmer from jump gives the watcher the impression of probably perfectionism, a bit of torment, perhaps dumb jock syndrome, and having to be insanely good; for win the tattoos are an instant signifier instantly (if u c them) cos it's always like ~ooh what's the story~* lmao