#being treated as a part of humanity that deserves to be shown and have its story told

[etheries1015]

I'm not sure if requests are open or not but can I have more content on Twisted Wonderland x Obey Me. No preferences really, it can be anything like the demon boys reactions or even the reactions of our Twisted Wonderland acquaintances.

Maybe the reader could successfully summon one of the boys?

If requests are not open please ignore this.

Requests are always open, because I kinda pick and choose what I like to write and what I don't...so no worries! Thank you for submitting this request! I had a lot of people ask me to write another part about twst x obey me so...

click here for: Pt 1

Twisted wonderland X Obey me crossover where MC goes to twisted wonderland from obey me but has their full range of magical powers.

Only problem is, you finally figured out how to use it to summon the brothers, but now you had a whole other issue upon your hands.

TW: None

General warnings: Gender neutral reader, probably a lot of OOC moments, but I tried!

The day you managed to get in contact with Lucifer was well deserved. You had read and practiced all sorts of magic in your free time, Endless sleepless nights studying, and practicing. And it all has to do with...that mirror. You had managed to contact Micky through the mirror who lived in another world, so why not try contacting the brothers the same way? With a few sigils and a couple other magic tools given to you over time at NRC, you chanted your summoning ritual and the mirror glowed brightly. Next thing you knew, Lucifer was standing in the mirror in front of you.

"Lucif-"

"(Y/NNNNN)!!!" A bunch of voices cried out. Your magic worked a little...too well, because the next thing you knew you were being tackled by a hug. Err...many hugs. They had actually stepped out of the mirror, Asmodeus chocking you in a hug and twirling you around with tears streaming down his face.

"Asmo- Asmo stop! You guys can't-" you tried to warn them to go back through the mirror, however it was too late. The mirror returned to its normal state, and you now stood in your dorm room with 7 demons all in tow. Stuck there.

This can't possibly be good.

But luckily, with you somehow managing to break the laws of magic in Twisted Wonderland, all of the brothers were able to use their full range of magic. Including you.

Their reactions:

Lucifer

"Let me talk to the manager." After he finally sees that you are safe and sound feeling a wave of relief, he is immediately on the mission. He wants to speak to Crowley, which you tried to explain was...difficult. But this is Lucifer we are talking about, anything is possible with him around.

The moment he sees Crowley, he internally groans. The things you had said about him were indeed true, he was avoidant of your issues and was trying his best to downplay the problem at hand.

"How were they able to summon such magical beings...According to the dark mirror, (y/n) should be absolutely powerless, an average human with no merits." Crowley had said.

Lucifer was startled at this accusation, so what you had said about them not taking you seriously due to your lack of magical aptitude in this world...was correct as well. This made his blood boil, however he didn't feel the need to defend you. He knew you would have shown your worth regardless of this hiccup, he had full faith in your abilities in personality, despite what they believed to be "useless" or not.

Easily threatens Crowley. He demands you be given a proper living space with accommodations without treating you as some sort of slave to his issues, despite being under the impression that you had no way of using magic to assist you in your endeavors. You had dealt with him and his brothers enough, why must you be burdened with NRC students issues?

Crowley almost shit his pants bro. When lucifer went into his demon form, Crowley shrunk down in his shoes. The other teachers were the same honestly, they were also present during this meeting. They couldn't bring themselves to fight against the large wingged and horned man that emmited such power before them.

"You dare allow my little sheep to live with such horrible conditions and treated them with such avoidance... I suggest figure out a way to make up for what you have done. I also highly suggest you find a way for all of us to return, it is indeed your fault or whatever "magic mirror" that called upon (Y/N) that had made this mistake. I presume you will work with us to fix this issue?"

"Of course!" Crowley exasperated with a laugh of nervousness, "I promise! However, it is no small expense to-" No. Lucifer was not playing around. He was easily able to keep any big emotions in check, however when it comes to you...

"you WILL assist us. Or you can say goodbye to this school you call 'Night Raven College'- " A ball of light of immense magic began to swirl around his hand and his eyes glowed with deadly intent.

He left the building with a smile of success, leaving behind the teachers almost shitting themselves.

after settling business with Crowley, he ran to you. He had to make up for the lost time of course! You wouldn't be able to leave his grasp for a long while afterwards.

When you tried to ask what he spoke to Crowley about, he simply smiled and told you not to worry, he had it all handled. For now, he wanted to hold you in his arms, it's been a while since he had seen you after all, he needed to recharge.

Mammon

"Mannn, is there anything to do in this run down place?" He put up his feet on the table of the ramshackle dorm lounge, you were caught in his grasp. He had been holding onto you ever since he went through the mirror.

"Please don't cause me trouble here, too." You groaned, bags underneath your eyes, "This situation is bad as is, it's probably best you-"

There was a knock on the door. You sighed and got up, opening the door before revealing Azul. Your eyes widened, you totally forgot you offered to help at the Monstro lounge today!

"Hah? Who's this?" Mammon stood behind you looking down at Azul, who was equally as shocked to see him. But he quickly got over it, shaking his head before returning his gaze towards you.

"I believe we had a deal (y/n)..." Azul said with a glint in his glasses, "You had promised to help out today. Our prefect wouldn't flake out on their duties, would they?" Azul went to grab your hand to drag you out, however Mammon quickly grasped his wrists roughly with eyes slitted in annoyance.

"Who are ya and what do ya think you're doing putting your hands on what's mine?" He growled. You rolled your eyes and slapped your face. Here he goes. You can already tell where this is going.

"yours?" Azul shook his head in shock, "Huh? And you don't look like a student here," Azul pointed out, pulling his hand back from mammon, "Anyhow. Are you saying you will take the Prefects place instead? What would you have to offer me? Prefect is rather popular here despite their lack of magical abilities, and having them would really boost our sales for the week-"

"lack of magical abilities? what are ya on about? My (y/n) is super powerful!" Azul stared blankly before looking at you with doubt in his eyes. You turned your gaze away and sighed in defeat, you knew there was no way he would believe what Mammon had said.

"Well. Magic or no magic, I need somebody to take the job (y/n) had promised. I have a business to run, after all-"

"Oh so you're a business man, huh? Well look no further! I'm the Great Mammon, I have a lot of experience in these things. I'm a total cash grab, a model-"

Mammon went on about his accomplishments and proudly declared he was willing to make a deal with Azul, something you tried to talk him out of, but it was too late. He was already signing the scroll.

"Mammon!" You growled, "You are not listening to a single thing i'm- you know what, whatever. You do what you wanna do. Good luck."

Que Mammon being dragged off to do his manual labor...he will learn the hard way like he always does. Oh well. Leave it to Mammon to run off as soon as he arrived to try and make a deal with the worst person possible!

Leviathan

Hugging you so tightly. He missed you so much! But boredom soon took over. He had no idea what to do, you have no video games, not even a T.V In the lounge! How could you have possibly lived this way?!

"Here, I can call up Idia. He's probably the best person who-"

"You found a gaming replacement?!" Levi whined, "I thought you were my player two! But now you're staying up all night playing games and watching anime with someone else..."

You lightly punched the top of his head. "I didn't, you idiot!" You laughed, "We play games, sure, but you'll always be my player 1. I just don't want you to get bored while you're here."

You called Idia and he was so so so so so reluctant to do it. But it's you, of course. How could he say no? Ortho also did some convincing, saying it's good to find another recluse like Idia. But the trade off was you had to be there too.

Dude. They played games for HOURS in the Ignyhide dorm lounge, and you probably forgot something pretty important...

Idia was a gamer unmatched. Not even Levi could beat him at a lot of these pvp games, and began to become unnerved.

"Bro lol you're such a noob, hey (y/n) I thought you said this guy was good at games, why'd you send this guy? He's practically a normie-"

No way he just said that. THAT was Levis breaking point.

He summoned Lotan

He flooded the entire lounge

You had forced him to submit, and Idia was just staring....wide eyed...what the hell just happened...?

"You can use magic this entire time?!" Idia called out in shock after witnessing you submitting Lotan and Leviathan to your call. Levi did make note of this, however was far too upset and preoccupied by cleaning up his mess before he could mention anything about it.

He was banned very quickly, but now thanks to the giant sea monster, he really piqued the Leech twins curiosity (who happened to be in the mirror chamber at the time, when Lotan escaped Ignyhide and also flooded the chamber of mirrors.) Jade asked Levi to study Lotan and Floyd started admiring Levis Demon form. He's never seen such a cool tail from any creature before!

Levi was on house arrest. You wouldn't permit him to leave ramshackle, but he surprisingly made good and quick friends with the brothers. They were all quickly learning how to sew little outfits, which jade really enjoyed. Floyd was occupied by asking Levi all sorts of questions about Lotan and begging to touch Levis tail, before falling asleep out of boredom on the couch.

They managed to stay entertained with each others company somehow, but it worked out.

Satan

You knew he would be best occupied in the Library, where there was an entire pile of books he had never seen before. He was in heaven. How you managed to get him into the building without him being an authorized student? Crowley gave them temporary access, thanks to Lucifers (threats) negotiations.

He began going through each shelf and picking a bunch of books that looked interesting. He was mainly interested in the magic of this world

He emptied an entire book shelf and huddled into a corner surrounded by a mess of books.

Riddle came in to witness this, and was NOT happy.

"What do you think you are doing?" He confronted Satan. Satan glanced up and was at first upset he was interrupted, however seeing riddle...

"Cat..." Satans mouth dropped open

"Cat? excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?" Riddle folded his arms, "No matter. You are supposed to check out these books before utilizing them, and you do not look like a student here. As house warden of Heartslabyul I demand you put these back, or it's off with your head!"

Satan TRIED to explain to him in a civilized way that he was a special guest of the prefect and was given access to as many books as he desired, but Riddle did not believe him. and demanded some form of proof. Satan did not take well to this.

"I'm not going to take demands from a small cat such as yourself. I suggest you find someone else to bother," Satan returned to his book now ignoring Riddle.

"W-wha...EXCUSE ME?!" Riddle yelled, his face turned a bright red and pulled out his wand, "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" Next thing Satan knew he had a heart shaped lock around his neck.

He REALLYYY did not like that. The green aura that surrounded him startled Riddle as Satan stood up towering over him, demon form and all.

"I swear I-" He bared his teeth and raised his hand, before someone yelling "SATAN, SIT!" Caused him to gasp in shock and fall to the ground with a heavy 'thud', something that surprised Riddle.

You ran over and sighed shaking your head. You apologized to Riddle and explained the situation, to which Riddle took off the collar he had given Satan.

"Don't worry, Riddle. I will make sure I check out every one of these books and return them accordingly, I will take them to ramshackle for now as to not cause another...scene and disturb the other students."

Riddle was mildly satisfied with this answer and allowed you to do so, not without mumbling about being called a small cat...but no matter.

"how were you able to do that, Prefect? You made him submit," Riddle pointed out, "Without any magical power," He began to say. Satan quickly interrupted with a tilt of his head and a "Huhh??"

"(y/n) Is one of the most powerful human sorcerers," He pointed out, "Solomon is teaching them himself. They have plenty of magical aptitude," He told Riddle, much to his dismay.

You sighed and ignored the topic and Riddles confusion, dragging the pile of books to check out and leaving the library as fast as possible.

Satan spent the rest of the time in ramshackle sitting in a dorm room he found himself, and read to his hearts content. Not without asking you many questions about this world and the contents of some of these books

Asmodeus

The first one to hug you and twirl you around, and had a very hard time letting go.

When he finally did let go, he was nitpicking about everything.

"Oh my dear just look at those bags underneath your eyes! And that uniform...you just look horrible,"

"Yeah. not the first I've heard that," You sighed. When Asmodeus asked you to elaborate, you explained to him about Vil, the super star of NRC, and the person who liked to remind you how to care for your appearance.

Asmo was upset at first, until he met Vil. Annnddd fell in love. Until Vil pointed out Asmos "strange" choice of outfit, being his school uniform from devildom.

Asmo scowled at this and gave Vil a run down of every flaw Vil had, in the end, Vil actually began to see he was similar to Rook in a way, very observant in a persons design and look. Although Asmo did not have much tact about it.

"(y/n), how did you manage to become friends with such a magical person? He's practically oozing with magical charm," Vil pointed out. Not without Asmos confusion.

"What do you mean?" Asmo asked, "We have a pact! They are rather powerful, one of the many things I absolute love about our (y/n)~" Before you could explain further to Vil what Asmo meant, Rook had walked into the room.

ROOK. FELL. IN. LOVE. WITH. ASMO. Bro was enamored, he was shocked, jaw dropping, and eyes widening. He made it almost his life's mission to discover EVERYTHING about Asmodeus.

"Monsieur! I beg of you, let me study you!" he cried out, "I've never seen someone as mangnifique as you!"

Bruh. Right in front of Vil? Vil was kind of offended to be honest, but Asmo... he was loving this. Finally, somebody here that could appreciate true beauty!

Rook started listing everything he loved about Asmo, and when he asked Asmo where he was from and Asmo mentioned he was a demon, Rook lost. His. Mind.

Asmo went into his demon form, ironically this is when Epel walked in.

"What in tarnation is THAT?!" He cried out in his thick southern accent. Asmo did not like that.

"What do you mean THAT?" He scoffed, going up to Epel.

"Who's this sparkly lookin' guy with the horns? ya don't look like a fae to me..." vil scolded him for using such words, but Epel couldn't help it! He was beyond surprised at this being standing before him in his dorms lounge!

Asmodeus was pretty close to using his charm upon Epel, probably to convince Epel that he was as amazing as Rook pointed him out to be, but you quickly got involved and forced Asmo to stop.

"It's not that big of a deal," You sighed, "We all know how amazing our Asmo is..."

Anyway a little bit of back and forth, and all of the sudden Vil Rook and Asmo were all sitting in a circle like a bunch of little girls at a sleepover talking about Musical theatre, Beauty, and everything else that involved Asmo talking about himself. you and Epel were quickly used as their own little dress up dolls, they managed to find a way to occupy the time by having competitions on which party could make you and Epel look the best with what techniques.

Beelzebub

Coming through that Mirror on an empty stomach was such a bad idea. But not to fear! You knew the perfect person to help!

Trey. you had to beg Trey to make as many desserts as he could and that Beel would be probably the best person to taste test all sorts of things he baked. Trey honestly took you up on this, and whipped up a bunch of things he had been itching to try.

"They are really good, but Lukes treats are the best," Beel said with his mouth full of tart. He began to pick apart what was good and what was bad about every dessert he tried, however that did not satiate his hunger. He was so excited to try every single new thing that this world had to offer.

You guys ended up going to Scarabia, where Kalim was more than happy to share his culture and their food. Jamil ended up cooking a meal fit for a king as asked by Kalim. Kalim and Beel got along so well it was kind of sweet to watch....but eventually the food was all out in a matter of minutes, and Jamil had to talk some sense into Kalim.

"He has a healthy appetite! It's amazing, isn't it Jamil? Haha!"

Jamil was not very amused. It was obvious he was exhausted, so you all parted and said your goodbyes.

Ace Deuce Grim and you ended up going into town and stopping at the most popular restaurants.

"this guy is real beefed up, how did you manage to get so much muscle with an appetite like that?" Ace pointed out. Deuce agreed enthusiastically.

They spent probably two hours asking about all sorts of sports in Devildom and exercises, until Jack walked in and walked over.

"Jack!" You smiled. He walked over and greeted everyone with a gentle "hello," Before introducing him to Beel.

"I wonder who would win in an athletic battle between you guys," Grim pointed out. Their bets were on Jack, but of course you knew better than that. You knew Beel would win by a landslide.

they headed to Savanawclaw, and even Leona ended up getting involved after seeing Beel standing next to you.

"Whos this guy?" He pointed at Beel. You guys introduced each other, and Jack explained that they were about to have an athletic competition. They were going to do runs, hurdles, push ups, pull ups...honestly everything.

"What about a Spell drive competition?" Jack suggested. Leona pointed out that it would not be evenly matched, as you were magicless and Beel wasn't even from here.

"Huh? (Y/N) isn't magicless," Beel defended you, "They are actually really powerful. I mean, enough to have pacts with all of my brothers, even Lucifer" He smiled at you and patted your head. Leona began to laugh at you two, not truly understanding what Beel meant by that. Beels friendly demeanor faltered and he frowned.

He was confident in your abilities, so Leona finally agreed to a spell drive contest. They explained the rules, and began. Leona started out so confident, but was quickly humbled the second Beel turned into his demon form and went all out.

You two walked out victorious, leaving an absolutely shell shocked Leona and Jack behind. You and Beel had perfect teamwork, and won by a landslide. You were even able to showcase some of your magical abilities, something else that was unprecedented by the two NRC students.

"Thank you for sticking up for me," You smiled at Beel, "It's been a while since somebody did that to me.. Even though I had to make you sit because you were using too much of your power. You were gonna destroy the disk!." Beel gave you a warm wide smile before picking you up and holding you into a up into a tight hug.

"I missed you, (y/n). And Nobody should talk bad about you like that!

Belphie

Joined you, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and Beel on your outing to eat. Although when you guys ended up splitting ways at the point when you guys left with Jack. Belphie quickly departed to find a good place to sleep at ramshackle. He found a perfect tree for this!

He ran into Malleus. Tall guy, big horns...

'Who're you?" Belphie asked, looking down at the tall Fae from the tree he found to sleep in. Malleus looked up in shock, his green eyes staring at Belphie.

"Are you a new student here?" Malleus inquired, "I wasn't aware that child of man was taking in new students at Ramshackle," He pointed out, folding his arms. Belphie had an unnerved feeling about this guy.

"What do you mean 'child of man'?" Belphie yawned, "Are you talking about (y/n)?"

"Yes, I am," Malleus said, "And you might be?"

"Belphegor, Avatar of Sloth. Why'd you call (y/n) that?" he frowned.

"Well (y/n) is a human," Malleus pointed out, "I suppose I grew up in a more traditional Fae household, so many of the humans we tend to call "child of man"..." Belphie had no clue what this guy was going on about, but decided it wasn't worth his time. He started to doze off again until Malleus pestered him with another question.

"I came here looking for (y/n), He called up to Belphie, "Might you know where they are?" Belphie began to become slightly irritated at this point. He jumped down from the tree and looked at Malleus in annoyance.

"Why do you wanna know where they are? they'll be back soon," he pointed out.

A little bit of back and forth and passive aggressiveness not gonna lie...it escalated to the point where Belphie became so agitated at this guy and his "fancy" way of talking and the fact malleus kept calling you "child of man" or whatever, he turned into his demon form.

"Oh? A duel?" Malleus chuckled, levitating slightly with his arm lifting up and magic swirling around his hand, "Shall I take it you-"

"Belphie, sit!" Belphie gasped and was suddenly dropped down to the ground, you and Beel walking up to them.

"Oh, hey Malleus. I'm sorry if he was bothering you...what was-"

"ugh. This is so annoying," Belphie growled, "this guy here was calling you weird nicknames, and said you were a magicless human," He pointed out. Malleus looked at you with slight surprise at witnessing you drop Belphie to his knees.

"you...can use magic?" He asked, "How come I was not aware of this?"

"Of course they can use magic, idiot!" Belphie hissed, standing back up and protectively moving to hug you from behind. His head lay upon the crook of your neck, glancing up at Malleus with a light smirk upon his features. He was trying to test him.

With his lips forming into a thin line of frustration, Malleus took a step forward, not without Belphie using his tail protectively in front of you as if warning him to stay back.

"I don't like this guy," He pouted to you. Your tired eyes rolled to the back of your head, giving another apology to Malleus.

~

The commotion soon got the attention of the other demons, who then gathered in the courtyard and demanding to know why everyone around them was trying to say you were magicless. After a little explaining, each of the brothers were less than forgiving. This entire time you were powerless, and the students had treated you differently for it? Malleus was kind enough to recount a lot of the things the headmaster had put on your shoulders, while you were trying your best to downplay it. A bunch of the other students had ended up gathering around ramshackle as well, witnessing Each and every one of the brothers now in their demon forms, the immense amount of magic traces had caused quite a stir among the students. Even the housewardens had shown up, hearing down the grapevine of the events that were unfolding. If you hadn't done something and done something fast, things could easily go south. So, you did what you thought was all you could do.

"SIT!" You yelled as loud as possible, each of the brothers dropping to the ground with a yelp. The magic power that was gathering around was now coming from...you. Murmurs were heard between the students, eyes of shock filling their eyes and unbelievable amount of students actually had pulled out their wands, obviously feeling threatened by your sudden showcase of strange magic they had never seen before.

"I'm afraid, my dear students, this has gone too far!" A voice cried out in the middle of the chaos. Crowley had walked between his students until he made it to you, staring down upon your figure with a look of annoyance and sigh.

Crowley declared there was a way for you to return home, and summoned the mirror in which you used to get them back in the first place. Lucifer couldn't help but scoff and sneer at the headmaster.

"Now, please explain, why have you suddenly found a way for us to return when you haven't been able to sort a way out in the year our (y/n) has been in this dreadful place?" He roared in anger. Crowley shrunk down and tried to laugh it off, playing it to be nothing short of a coincidence.

"Enough..." you sighed, annoyed, "Let's just get this over with and go back home."

"Indeed! what our prefect said! Although, you will be strongly missed, (y/n). You were incredibly helpful in dealing with- I mean- supporting our students! With you gone, I'm not sure what we will do! Oh Woe is me!"

Ignoring his obvious attempts to keep you there to handle his students, you said your final goodbyes to everyone you had made friendships with. However attached you may have gotten with these students, it was inevitable that you had to return to the Devildom, where you truly belong.

Thus ends your journey with Twisted Wonderland!

----

I'm sorry that ending was a little bit rushed, I was having a hard time figuring out how exactly to go about it! But, despite this, I hope you all enjoyed this despite it's length. If you have any more suggestions or ideas for a crossover, please let me know! I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions.

i'm also so bad at writing belphie lol he's my least favorite brother ngl so i'm not that good at embodying his personality. L.

Check out my masterlist for more of my works!

[kanonavi]

Spoilers for Simulanka Day 3

There's a conversation that I've had with friends from time to time about the fact that the world of Teyvat is, at its core, incredibly kind. Shockingly so, even for most fictional stories that aren't directed towards children. Even though the traveler has faced many antagonists on their journey, the people around them have always banded together to overcome those challenges. Even when people are hurt it's very rare for anyone to die, and many of the antagonists in question aren't pure evil and have their own reasons for taking the actions they take. They may not always operate on the same morality as the traveler or the player, and they might not be "good people", but they still believe that what they have to do is right, or at the very least necessary.

To put it more simply, Genshin is filled with characters that are made to be liked. Not every player will like every character, but very few of them are actively trying to work against you, and even when they do there's still something there to like. Except for like, Il Dottore, but he's likable for how unlikable he is (I have to say that or my Dottore enjoying friend will be sad lmao).

I got to thinking about this when playing the last part of Simulanka because it was a reminder of how, despite the kindness that they've been shown by Teyvat for the past three and a half years, the traveler's morality is still shockingly black and white in many situations.

We see this the most in how they interact with the Fatui. The Fatui, particularly the Harbingers, have cause a lot of damage in the past, but a lot of the grunts are just ordinary people following orders. the commission line in Mondstadt with Viktor, Golden Apple Archipelago 2 and The Chasm come to mind for times when we've interacted with Fatui grunts in a way that really humanizes them and shows that a lot of them really are just people doing a job. Some of them have just been surveyors or low-level guards, but the traveler and Paimon treat them like they're cartoon villains until proven otherwise (and sometimes even after proven otherwise).

The way that they acted towards Simulanka Durin before the party gave him their blessings also seemed to reflect this, especially in comparison to the other party members. Wanderer was obviously the most sympathetic to Durin, since his memories were like looking into a mirror for him, but Nilou, Navia, and Kirara all stepped forward to give Durin their support while the traveler was still showing doubts. They were thinking about how the residents of Simulanka might not forgive Durin, or how his form was too big and scary to coexist with everyone, which was an incredibly unsympathetic outlook even though they were ultimately able to change Durin's form.

It honestly reminds me a lot of how the traveler treated Scaramouche/Wanderer in Inversion of Genesis, like he was a person to be kept the company of only out of necessity as a means to keep him under control, even after Nahida said that she trusted him. Even though something did go wrong at the time, it still showed that the traveler's suspicion and distrust of Scaramouche was strong enough to outweigh their trust of Nahida, despite Nahida having proved herself many times to be wise and worthy of trust in the past. That mistrust and even disdain for him even carried over into when he reappeared with no memories, as the traveler was forcefully adamant that he needed to reclaim his memories and atone, to the point that it seemed like they were being a little bit mean about it.

It's arguable that Scaramouche deserved that treatment, since he was kind of a little shithead who caused a lot of harm in the past, but the traveler was also witness to how deeply he was hurt and manipulated in the past, and therefore would have some kind of understanding of why he turned out the way that he did.

Despite the traveler's usual helpfulness in Simulanka, Nilou, Navia, and Kirara all feel like contrasts to them. Nilou's whimsical outlook and positive mindset allowed her to grasp the magic of creation and even gave her the initiative to try and change Durin's form with magic in the first place. Navia is used to taking care of "the little guy", as it were, through the Spina, and was therefore willing to listen and empathize with the toy people who didn't want to undo the power of prophecy. (With those guys also being called "conservatives" or a "conservative radical" in English, that doesn't really have a good connotation depending on your political leaning, but Navia listened to them anyway). And with Kirara, while I haven't played her little sidequest yet, the description of her outfit described how the little cat burglar stole and returned the emotions of the cats that they hadn't been given when they were created, casting her in the role of someone who can understand the balance that anger, sadness, and pain bring to happiness.

The three of them, as well as the Wanderer, all carry Teyvat's fundamental kindness with them, and it was then coaxed out of the traveler only when all of them had already stepped forward.

It made me wonder if this is some kind of lesson that the traveler has to learn before reuniting with their sibling, that they need to be more willing to put their trust in people, or at least be more understanding of others. While the abyss twin hasn't divulged too much of what they've learned yet, they've made it clear that there are lessons that the traveler needs to learn about the world before they reunite. While that likely has a lot to do with various truths about Celestia and the sky being fake and all that, perhaps they're hoping for their sibling to learn that at least in Teyvat, sometimes people who cause harm to others are simply trying (or have tried and failed and lost hope) to find a path towards co-existing with others.

Since the abyss twin is supposedly born of Teyvat as well, perhaps they've already understood that part of this world from the very beginning and are waiting for their sibling to catch up.

[babygirlhaljordan]

quotes that remind me of dungeon meshi characters (a thread—or tumblr equivalent)

senshi

“for every life i can’t save during my shift, one more drop of blood becomes a part of me.”

if you saw the episode regarding senshi’s backstory… you’ll understand why this quote fits. at a young age, he watched his entire party die from starvation. consequently, he studies cooking (with monsters) with a crazy intensity to starve off hunger. to never have more drops of blood join him again—especially with his suspicion that he ate his own party members. so in the case of senshi, others blood is genuinely (or believed to be) Apart Of Him

(tldr senshi’s survivors guilt goes CRAZY)

chilchuck

“his mouth may be full of acid, but gentleness oozes from his actions like chocolate syrup dripping down whipped cream.”

we all know that despite chilchuck’s professionalism (emotional distance) he isn’t as hardened off as he wants us to believe but i feel the episode that encapsulates that is when that one ogre confronts him like. “you’re worried your friends will die aren’t you” while he’s sobbing his eyes out. THAT sticks out to me.

if you ignore that episode, there’s still tons of moments from the season alone that showcases how much he cares. chilchuck trying to wake up marcille from her nightmares. deciding between following senshi or laois to protect them from other people’s wraths. facing the red dragon HEAD ON despite him Not Being A Fighter. he cares about people DAMMIT but he’s the last person to let others know, covering any harsh actions with his words—be it teasing marcille, snarking at laois, or more. yet his actions say more than what he could & that is enough

itzusumi

maybe this is what being a mortal is about. kindnesses that aren’t deserved

this resonates as itzusumi because of her inherent selfishness. even though she’s only appeared at the latter half, throughout the series, she’s been shown to prioritize herself above all. and that isn’t to say she isn’t deserving of kindness as one of her rights as a Basic Human Being but. people tend to follow the golden rule from my experience—ESPECIALLY when the other party has been rude (which itzusumi has been)

so to have laois’ party treat her with kindness (with chilchuck literally APOLOGIZING for his comments) is really heartwarming. most people would have given up or left her by now. yet his crew treats her with kindness even if she hasn’t been the best. that’s why i feel the kindness is undeserved

as for what a mortal is… that’s a question all the characters are finding out, but itzusumi (& falin) are finding out above all. as beastmen, they aren’t seen (or even seen THEMSELVES) as human. yet they are both being treated with kindness despite their actions. and i think that sticks out to me above all

marcille

“If it’s heaven’s will for us to part, I will rip heaven into pieces with my own two hands to be with you.”

falin’s transformation to a literal chimera is kickstarted all because marcille refused to let the dead rest. although the dungeon can easily allow for the revival of humans… bringing back people when they’re too far gone, when they’re already devoured.. it crosses the life between life and death, the natural order of existence. yet marcille crosses that line, of what’s considered natural or “fate” (aka what is determined by the higher order—heaven) of them parting and ripped it apart

she brought her best friend back to life.

because much like senshi, marcille is someone characterized by her losses & what she will continue to lose due to her being a long-lived species. she knows this and has been continued haunted by her past losses: her bird, her father, and i have no doubt there’s more. it’s why she studied forbidden magic: to no longer lose the people she loves. and she doesn’t care what boundaries or rules she breaks because she loves them That Much (sounds like another magic aligned user eh?)

falin

how do you separate a tiger’s beauty from its ferocity? or a cheetah’s elegance from the speed of its attack? achilles was like that—the beauty and the terror were two sides of a single coin

we all know this is referring to falin in her chimera form because while i do love her prechimera the series mainly focuses on her in that form than without. although she is dangerous, she is powerful. and in the same way, so much as she’s powerful, she’s dangerous. her existence is beautiful but it’s an example of hostility. of the potential of forbidden magic as well as the drawbacks. she’s truly two sides of the same coins

laois

“i think we sometimes make the mistake of thinking monsters are abhorrent aberrations, lurking in the darkest recesses, when the truth is far more distributing. the most monstrous of men are those who sit in plain sight, daring you to challenge them.”

this goes into manga spoilers so. if you’re not okay with that… skip this section

i wholeheartedly believe this quote fits laois due to his own negative experiences with humans. for YEARS the villagers of his home casted out falin (and him, to some degree? could be wrong) treating her poorly for who her ghost abilities. similarly, his parents struggled to stand up for them, leading lapis to have a strained relationship current day. and when he left to join the army, he struggled to fit in.

as a result, laois would dream of being a monster (and also developing a monster interest in general) for their power—especially when they could crush all the people that bullied them. his love for monsters represent laois disconnect to humans—especially with the way they treated the ones he loves. because despite the monsters being seen as the scary ones, he experiences more anxiety around humans than he ever does with beasts.

[oh-allie]

saw @skippersthecat's post about teruhashi (i even wrote a frantic comment under it too !!!!) and now im remembering why teruhashi is one of my favorite characters and why i will defend her 4ever .......

go look at her post too !!! she articulates herself way better than me and this is just a blurb about how OH MY GOD SHE DESERVES WAY BETTER FROM EVERYONE EVER 🙁🙁

shes gone through so much and i lowkey need to see her stand up for herself ☹️ OR JUST HAVE SOMEONE TREAT HER LIKE A HUMAN BEING ☹️☹️

okok i remember one part of an ep where its teruhashi walking down a street and then it pans to some of her admirers, one of them being a LITERAL 60 year old man. and im pretty sure WAY older men have gawked at her like that multiple times in the show, and she doesnt even mention it.

that episode where shes literally BEING FOLLOWED ? and apparently its happened to her so often that she can DEDUCE how many people/their genders from their FOOTSTEPS ??? and all she was concerned about was staying perfect, as if she isnt being STALKED ? 🙁

in s2, when they came back from being stranded on the island, and the newspaper club spread rumors about saiki taking sexual/inappropriate pictures of her (IN THE ARTICLE ITS SAID WITHOUT HER CONSENT TOO) and a BUNCH of guys went to saiki ASKING FOR THE PICTURES ? "to destroy them" YEAH TOTALLY 😒

and she doesn't say anything about these things because (its a comedy series) shes been dealing with it SINCE BIRTH. LITERALLY.

its SHOWN that when she was FUCJING BORN there were men watching her. HEY GUYS !! BABIES ARE CUTE BUT FATHERS SHOULDNT BE HUDDLED AROUND A CUTE BABY GIRL LOOKING AT HER.

and it's not like shes ever had a break from this harassment, her own brother views her as an object. multiple times where makoto has invaded her privacy and harassed her, so shes not even safe in her own home.

AND ALL OF THIS TREATMENT AND SHE STILL KEEPS UP HER PERFECT PRETTY GIRL PERSONA. ☹️ her whole self worth, her IDENTITY is being a perfect pretty girl. even if she hadn't been facing this her whole life, she wouldn't say anything because she is a people pleaser who sacrifices herself. she needs someone who doesn't view her as a god, or an object. thats why she likes saiki ☹️☹️☹️

TLDR; teruhashi haters are NOT allowed 🙁🙁

[scarrletmoon]

none of this is going to be particularly articulate lmao but anyway,

i’ve already decided to ignore the izzy apologists but there’s something so……healing? about ed being cruel and dangerous and violent and emotional and yet still being treated sympathetically because at the end of the day, he’s shown that he doesn’t actually want to be that way and is terrified of that part of him

and idk, it’s just especially important to me to see a brown man go through that. our anger as POC is always seen as inherently more dangerous even when it’s justified. we can’t talk back, we can’t defend ourselves, we can’t argue that we’re being treated unfairly. so you can forget about having normal human emotions, like being upset that someone broke your heart

and yeah, the way ed acts is vastly worse than like, “curled up in bed eating ice cream alone” (although he WAS in that phase before izzy pushed him). but also getting to see him lash out is kind of refreshing? it’s scary and wildly unhealthy but part of the discomfort of watching him like that is knowing that he’s SCARED. he doesn’t actually want to behave like this bc he’s not the kind of guy who really revels in mindless violence. everything he does this season is a desperate cry for help

and like, i’ve been there? i’ve turned into the raging storm that tries to destroy everything in its wake — not because i don’t care about other people, not because i really want to hurt them the way i’ve been hurt, but because no one seems to see how much pain im in and i don’t know how to ask for help like a normal person. and maybe if i just act like a monster, then i’ll be proving my own point — that im unlovable, that i don’t deserve the friendships i have, that whoever hurt me was right to do so, that there’s something wrong with me for feeling hurt in the first place

and maybe i’m a little bit insane and there’s no fixing me

but then stede still comes back to him after all of it. stede cries by his bedside and begs him to wake up. stede knows everything ed’s done, understands immediately why it happened, understands what ed was trying to say with his actions, and he loves ed anyway.

and that’s what he’s always wanted, in the end — someone to see HIM, to understand what he’s been too afraid to say, to show him the kindness he needs to pick himself up and stop self harming in increasingly dangerous ways

all of that from a silly little pirate comedy

idk, i already know im fucked up bc what normal person would watch those 3 episodes and hardly be phased by them bc they relate so much? but it’s just…..nice. nice to know that it’s not that i’m irredeemably evil. it’s just that i’ve spent my whole life being treated like less than human, and i’m not a freak for being upset by that

(not saying that ed didn’t nothing wrong bc he definitely did lmao, but also the point isn’t to argue about how evil he is)

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

IS (KAMEN RIDER 01)

1.) You know it's bad when the main female character is both an android built to serve humans and a secretary for the CEO of the android company. That girl is going to spend her entire life justifying the actions of a 20-something year old male CEO as he makes questionable decisions. Like that one movie where the androids become sentient and go "hey, wait, we'd like to be paid a fair wage for our labour!" and she comes out to convince them that no. No they don't. You see, 20-something year old CEO says you should LIKE doing labour for free and whatever he says goes. So she's just going to. Help him convince her race to go back to doing unpaid labour. For bosses that have been shown throughout the show to be abusive. Sometimes even killing their androids. Because a guy wants her to do that. Anyway, SPOILERS; at the end of the show she sacrifices herself for the Good Of Everyone. What does the CEO do? He replaces her with a new one. Just. Makes another android exactly like her. It's meant to be this emotional scene where he tells her about the previous Is but. That's not her. He just. He replaced her. This woman literally just got replaced.

AMBER VOLAKIS (HOUSE MD)

1.) Holy shit thank you for reminding me about Amber. Her nickname that almost everyone calls her to her face every day is Cutthroat Bitch. When she & Wilson start dating there are so so so many jokes about her keeping his balls in her purse & having him whipped & etc etc just bc she’s assertive & confident. & then the whole two-part episode where they fridge her (which is. not quite house’s fault directly but he definitely contributed to it) they make it completely about house & wilson & maybe 2% about HER. I’m still mad forever

2.) After being fridged, she does show up in later seasons! As a hallucination. She shows back up to be the devil on House’s shoulder when he is hurtling towards a vicodin-induced breakdown. Literally only shows up to steer him into making bad decisions (including almost killing Chase (allergic to strawberries) by inviting him to a party where the stripper is wearing strawberry scented lotion that sends him into anaphylaxis)

3.) im so glad someone else submitted amber because she fits so well for this poll but i couldnt get my words out right but im going to try again anyway. i think an important aspect of how ambers character is treated and written for the audience has to do with if a man did what she did, hed be opportunistic and ambitious, if not a bit of an ass, but because shes doing it it makes her 'bitchy'. "cutthroat bitch" "coldhearted bitch" etc is practically her canon alias at this point by how much she is referred to that way rather than her name. she is probably the most humanized out of wilson's canon relationships and its mostly because theyre paralleling her to house. she deserved so much better she deserved the world and more

[valictini]

My take on the whole egg situation (this is all MY OPINION based on what we've been shown for the past 2 months) :

Why did they get some of the eggs back only to end the arc one week afterwards?

I think it's because the admins loved their characters and knew it was going to end soon, so they wanted to be able to play as much as possible before leaving, even if they were not paid.

Why did some of the admins not get this opportunity ?

Either the studio considers them "not their problem anymore" (Pomme and Dapper who left) or they consider them liabilities and at risk of leaking stuff because they publicly supported the ex admins (Empanada, Sunny) All of this is speculation, but my guess as to why Cherry was so upset was not only because she was fired, but she was refused the opportunity to say good bye as Empanada.

Why is the studio icing out their admins instead of straight up firing them?

Because then there are fewer chances for legal retaliation because "they left on their own accords." Never mind that 99% of the admins never intended to sue the studio and only wanted to be treated right, or at least know what was going to happen to their role.

It also shows how little the studio cares about its admins. I believe 100% that they still dont see them as colleagues/employees, but as fans to whom they gave privilege. Privilege that they're not entitled to and thus can remove at any misstep. To me, there is literally no trust there.

Don't get me wrong, there is some truth to this. From what some of the admins said, they did genuinely feel privileged to be part of the project. And that's precisely why some of the more exploited admins stayed, too. They felt lucky to be part of the project and sacrificed themselves in order to meet the studio's unreasonable demands.

But here's the thing, just because you love your job doesn't mean you have to be punished in some way to balance it out. Just because you're passionate doesn't mean you don't deserve basic fucking respect as a human being.

You'd think that after so long, after so much work, the admins would be trusted as colleagues... well, Pomme's example is there to show us that no, they don't care. The second they think you did something wrong, you're just trash to be disposed of, behind closed doors. (I believe to this day we still don't know why Lumi was iced out)

Why did they keep the server running when Quackity said there would be a pause?

Because, as Quackity stated, his #1 priority is keeping the project running. What we didn't realise at the time is that it meant that everything else would be ignored.

Mire importantly, i think they didn't want the more active players to lose interest and so, they simply left it open for them. Never mind all the ccs that missed out on lore and events for the crime of wanting to make sure things were solved before playing again.

What is going to happen at the event of the 24th?

Probably a reset of some sort, seeing how many ccs are ending their character's lore while some still being like "well this character is done but I'm not". Idk if I can bring myself to care though, with how hard the studio is trying to make us forget everything.

They want us to forget that they fired dozens of people via a single discord announcement that didn't even stay up for 24h before the server was closed. They want us to forget that to this day (as far as I know), nothing has been done to contact the exploited ex admins. They want us to forget the fact that Quackity promised to keep running the server only when the problems were solved, and then opened the server back up only two days after. They want us to forget that some of the admins that were still technically in the studio have been and are still being iced out instead of fired. All to save their own asses from a lawsuit that they're honestly INVITING on themselves at this point.

All this to say, thank you, admins. I'm sorry the studio prioritised the project's image above your wellbeing. I'm glad some of you had a positive experience and got the opportunity to leave on a positive note. I'm sorry for the rest who had to go public to even be heard about the abuse you suffered from.

I'm still hoping for a miracle, for some sort of satisfying resolution. I'm still hoping to see my favourite ccs coming back, signaling that stuff have actually been solved. But I won't hold my breath either.

Again, all this is just my opinion. I'm probably wrong on some of the more speculative parts. You might not agree with everything I said. And that's fine. As fans, we will never be given the full truth anyway, so all we can do is speculate.

[fictofaggot]

alright, i'll bite. what's so bad about beforus?

there's quite a lot bad about it! it's interestingly often referred to in fanon as the utopia to alternia's dystopia... i can understand where that idea comes from of course! having a society that is relatively peaceful compared to alternia + one that allows trolls to be the eusocial insects they are (compared to alternia which thrives from forcing isolation) can obviously make it seem like a utopia from an outsider's view

however like. if we stop and think about the beforan culling system in particular... of course its not alternia's... we're not murdering trolls for being weak here, which makes it definitely the better of the two unfortunate options. however the beforan culling system quite literally involves owning weak and lowblooded trolls as if they're pets (others have said this before, but it is basically just petstuck but with other trolls instead of humans). it is so fucked up! it is normalized so much in society that it's not only seen as the right thing to do in every situation but directly influences literally every single interaction between any beforan troll with anyone else ever (obviously lol...it's a society thats how it is :P but still this is just a transition)

beforan highbloods are supposed to be like.. super overbearing "autism moms" (closest comparison i can make to humans honestly).

they're supposed to see lowbloods as incompetent, and they're supposed to compensate for that, to treat them as children incapable of fending, thinking, and speaking for themselves. and then they're supposed to feel good about themselves for it! they feel as though in doing that and removing any autonomy from those lower ranked than them they've fulfilled their societal duty, because they have.

i can see groups of highbloods talking amongst themselves about how muched they've helped lowbloods recently and how well they've treated them and oh, i met such a sweet rustie the other day and it was just so darling how quiet and gentle it was.. etc etc.

acknowledging lowerbloods' existence is seen as this brilliant upstander move that makes you a wonderful, wonderful troll being who deserves praise. you're supposed to treat lowbloods as pets who need to be coddled and protected, and even just treating them like people would likely be seen as very strange... like a human treating a dog as a person, for example. just very very fucked up

this is shown particularly nicely, i think, in the majority of the lowblood dancestors' personalities. we have kankri, who clearly overcompensates for never having been treated as if he can fend for himself. we have damara, who's snapped at this point, reacting with extreme anger (rightfully so!) and rebellion towards all those who've treated her like shit this entire time. we have rufioh, who's rebellion is more quiet (running away to live with a group of other misfits). mituna does not conform to the passive, docile lowblood trope whatsoever (mostly due to his disability, but i believe that's just part of who he is), which gives him this reputation amongst his fellow beforans as a horrible, unpleasant troll to be around. (i'll elaborate on these in a different post)

and don't even get me started as to how meenah and cronus's behavior (towards karkat in particular) implies the ways lowbloods are treated sexually on beforus. the implications are awful.

there's definitely more that's implied, but i would honestly have to go back into the text and search for the full scope of it. basically, beforus is fucked up bruh

[zuko-always-lies]

You Azula stans seem to think Azula does not need to take responsibility for anything or apologize and just be magically forgiven and accepted by everyone post war . What do you realistically think Azula should do post war as part of her redemption or everyone should just instantly like her just because she was a victim?

First, I want to make it clear that I don't think anyone is obligated to forgive Azula, since forgiveness is never an obligation. I have commented before that I think there are certain characters who would fairly easily forgive Azula or not bear much of a grudge against her in the first place, but that doesn't mean I hold anyone as being obligated to forgive her.

However, Azula is a badly abused child soldier, and I think she deserves to be treated with compassion and humanity. That is the obligation I believe is owed to her.

I also find the emphasis on Azula taking responsibility to be odd, because of what other characters do not do. Zuko never takes responsibility for at least half of the bad things he does, while Iroh only ever takes real responsibility for Lu Ten's death and never really for anything else. Mai and Ty Lee are never shown "taking responsibility" for the bad things they do, and like Zuko their role in conquering Ba Sing Se remains unmarked on. I think the narrative treated Jet poorly, but I don't think he ever clearly takes responsibility for the bad things he did, like manipulating Katara. Singling Azula out seems very odd.

I do think it would be good for Azula to take some responsibility for her actions in the war, but she was an abused child soldier fighting a war that began 85 years before her birth. Thus, ultimately, I don't place that much responsibility on her for the actions she took during the war, so I don't think it would be the end of the world if she didn't clearly take responsibility for what she did but ended up in a position where she wasn't actively doing harm to others. The last bit is probably the most important. She isn't supposed to be the saintlike savior of the Fire Nation whose purpose is to cleanse it of its sins, Zuko is.

Most actions of the actions Azula took which negatively affected named characters(who I know people focus the most on) were normal actions in war. People are rarely expected to apologize for those, even in cases when soldiers from different sides recoincile after the war, and some things would honestly be weird to appologize for.

That being said, if Azula wants personal relationships with certain people, she would probably have to apologize to them.

In any case, the most substantative way that she could "take responsibility" for her role in the war is helping to build a better world after the war. But I think a lot of that is predicate on and tied up with her role as Princess of the Fire Naton, and if she cuts herself off from her old status and position or is forciably cut off from it, her responsibility becomes less clear, as does the degree to which her actions affect the world.

[russeliarat]

In regards to Cia in a lot of the LU fanon space (aka fics and headcanons), I feel like she's being portrayed far worse than she actually is in Hyrule Warriors. I do think that Wars would have a lot of trauma regarding her considering she's the whole reason a war was started in his name. I do also think that starting said war is pretty bad. But I don't think she really deserves the black-and-white viewpoint most people have of her, it undermines the (attempted - it was a bad and rushed attempt but an intentional attempt nonetheless) redemption of her character arc. I say this as someone who owns the game and has combed through it for hours to attempt to rewrite that bullshit game.

But I think a lot of people are missing the part where Cia actually had control over her one-sided love for centuries as she only watched each hero and never interacted, but it was when Ganondorf came in and corrupted her that she started the war. She was under Ganondorf's influence throughout most of the game, even when she defected from him and attempted to gain the Triforce. She eventually made attempts to redeem herself after becoming free of Ganondorf due to Lana. There's also an element that Cia herself was exploited for Ganondorf's own power fantasies, it was likely that he manipulated or even told her to go to such extremes as making a war to get the Triforce and just used Cia's quiet yearning as a motive.

As dogshit as Hyrule Warriors is as a game and story, I think the idea that Lana is this perfect good is a great foil to Cia's unwavering evil, both forced to these extremes because of Ganondorf, who then regained their humanity once Cia finally broke free of him, though is more subtle in Lana is actually expressed kinda well compared to the rest of the wonkiness of the game. I think there's something to be said about Cia treatment as a antagonist compared to others like say Shadow, the way they're treated as being redeemed villains who were manipulated by Ganondorf for his own gains is vastly different across the fandom. Idk if there's a reason but it feels so distinct and I can't answer why.

This isn't to say that I don't think Wars would have a lot of issues surrounding what happened, its quite obvious he would have a lot of relationship problems on top of everything going on about the war. Its more a ramble about how people portray Cia post-HW/during LU. I myself don't understand how it happened, but as a DLC that was added for free in the Definitive Edition, Cia was revived and re-evilised, so yes she is technically alive still. I don't blame people for thinking she's some mega evil seductress that wants to capture the hearts of all the Chain, she seems very one-sided as a character at first without either getting the game and playing through yourself or skimming every website about the game (which is surprisingly few compared to its Age of Calamity counterpart - which also has its issues) and analysing the very misleading text in wiki pages and reviews. But no, she's not portrayed as a rapist (wtf literally where in the game is it even implied) nor is her character shown to be a pedophile (each hero she has been shown to fawn over are very explicitly the adult heroes).

I'm fine with headcanons, but the kind of stuff I see passed around in LU fanon is basically character assassination. It's kind of sad to see Cia just absolutely obliterated. I'm fine with some of the tamer headcanons, but some of the aforementioned like her being a rapist or a pedophile is so gross to me (and yes I've seen both multiple times in many more words to try to soften the blow of the writer/headcanoner's implications). I don't really like her character myself but I feel like I've analysed her and reworked her and picked apart her character too much to even consider humouring these kinds of ideas. Saying things like she's hypersexual or playing into her seductress image and appearance is fine because it's almost canon, I'll even agree with people calling her a stalker because she definitely was one during the war, but saying anything close to her committing anything more extreme is just not it for me.

[star1ight0]

How to exist as me

How do I exist as an autistic person without feeling guilty,

I know that unlike a lot of people i got the privilege of being diagnosed before becoming an adult but it was really late nonetheless. Even so,

I've not been treated the way any other person would be with autism, having to follow a script penned by neurotypicals all the time is hard and draining I constantly feel like i have no energy to do anything at all after as much as an hour at the store.

I've been told more times that I can count " It's not your fault you have a hart time unmasking "

but I feel as if cant be accepted by my community if i cant unmask,

I know in some part of me that I'm allowed to feel venerable and that I deserve to have people around me that can both see and acknowledge my struggles as a disabled person,

but to be told "your not autistic" because I don't act the way a 10 year old autistic boy does feels so unfair.

I grew up always changing the way acted to be seen and treated as human, so its hard trying to undo all of that.

"learning how to be 'unapologetically' you" Seems imposable, learning how to be my own person, rather than conforming to the behaviors and standards set by people who are simply not like me and don't understand why its so hard.

Growing up with an unaccommodated disability has left a scar in so many ways, and trying to heal isn't easy. I've grown up trying to protect myself from the inherent discrimination shown to me.

I do not "have autism" I don't "suffer from autism"

I'm autistic

Maybe its silly but its this type of treatment is what has sent me into relapses living in a world where nothing is made for you be it my epilepsy, being diabetic but especially being autistic. It feels like nothing is in my control, be it: the way public education is or how inaccessible the 'real world' is.

Not being in control of you body is scary and stressful weather it be because of a seizure, being overstimulated, or feeling like my body is about to shut down because my sugars are low its scary.

Feeling my body shake and not knowing if its because its too hot or if its my blood sugar, its caused me so much mental pain and put me in many depressive episodes of which I blatantly refused to take care of myself as a means of self destruction.

Being able to control something feels helpful, even if that one thing you can control is burring your skin off. Its a form of pain I feel an unhealthy amount of comfort in. Even so getting high until I cant remember where I am is better than being hyper aware of everything around me. The unbelievable amount of trauma I've endured is only adding to the fact.

When the help you need is so inaccessible what am I meant to do, when a system that is meant to help you is built to help you seems to work against you, or has failed you so many time what is it I'm meant to do?

what is there left for me to do?

[flying-bear-tv]

WWDITS RANT <3

Ok i just finished watching the WWDITS season finale and It made me laugh so much but also some of it was shitty and i feel like sharing to the class.

So most insane things first I have no idea why Guillermo decided not to be a vampire. It is even explicitly shown how great he feels after drinking human blood like he is ready??? and then suddenly its like a switch flipped and he has a problem killing a human. He has never really gave a shit about that for FIVE FUCKING SEASONS. He is even like yeah i know i dismembered a shitton of body and lured people to their deaths and killed a shitton of vampires (who tbh he can definitely empathize with like humans as he has been involved with them for years) (OVER 10 YEARS) but i cant suck this guys throat owo. Like he has devoted his entire life to this for a decade and all of a sudden he backs out? I'm not saying this isn't just weird bad writing but the lamp nandor pulled out was the big one which he knows has no wishes left. I think its possible either nandor wished that Guillermo wanted to be human OR Guillermo purposely got himself turned back into a human so Nandor could be the one to turn him. Like he had everything set up with the necromancer to undead Derick pretty quickly...... idk im just saying. Also It feels like nothing has changed. I wish Nandor would have helped him with dericks body or something. Just to show that Guillermo is accepted a little more. I know you guys will debate me on this but its the little things like that that make you really feel part of the group. Lazlo came in clutch as always though I love him so much he really is one of my comfort characters of all time. (I even think that if my theory ends up being the case that Lazlo knew about Guillermo's plan cause that would definitely go along with the theme of Lazlo and Guillermo hiding stuff from the others throughout the season) But yea. Weird ending with Guillermo and im gonna be PISSED if there isnt a seriously good explanation for that.

Next: the Guide... Yea WHAT THE FUCK they did her so dirty like no hahah we liked you the whole time haha. Are you for serious. are you joking with me. This could have been a HUGE chance for character growth on the vamps part. They could have realized that yea. healthy relationships need to have mutual respect and both people need to contribute. They could have brought Lazlo's journey with him becoming a bit more human this season full circle. Nandor could have realized that how he has treated Guillermo is not great. He could have been like yea no wonder he got turned by someone other than me. I have been using him to do dirty work for years and stringing him along with the promise that I would eventually turn him which even I convinced myself was true in order to keep things just as how theve always been. I wont kill him because he means more to me than a stupid vampire rule that im only doing because its what is always done. (Like Nandor realized he didn't want to kill Guillermo after a second of seriously thinking about it.) Guillermo could have let him out of that cage and they could have hugged and figured out what to do like the fucking found family they are damn it.

NADJA ......... nadja's whole thing this season was the fact that she treats people like shit and is pretty selfish and she didnt even have a moment where she actually showed change. IM SICK IM DYING IM THROWING UP IN THE STREET.

I realize that them liking the guide the whole time is a funny joke but guys. was it worth it. was it fucking worth it...

For the things I liked lol I really liked Lazlo he is allways slaying his fits were spectacular his matching hair with Nadja is incredible He is a real friend to Guillermo and everything that comes out of his mouth is hilarious.

Im glad the guide got some kind of revenge she deserves it I love her.

Guillermo hiding out in the motel was funny and i love how everyone visited him individually.

Guillermo being really happy after turing into a bat and getting his fangs was also really cute

Also "this meat has kissed the grill" i started crying i have no idea why this was so funny to me

Nandor stalking the fucking panera bread and setting up a whole fake ritual for Guillermo 10/10

also final round of applause for Nadja and Lazlos hair and outfits this season. I wish i were them.

anyways funny vampire show heheeh i wont get too upset about it and i wont make a conspiracy about how they wrote it bad on purpose because I cant cope with reality *cough* good omens fans *cough* SORRY but guys... guys... its not 2017 wake up please we dont need another TJLC please I have to say somthing.

love you all touch grass <3

comment 💥if you read all of this shit i want to know

[showmey0urfangs]

Hi! I like your blog and i am also sorry that you are being bothered by some rude people. I love sam Reid and don't think he is a racist at all. He actually seemed to have a little crush on Gugu Mbatha-Raw when they worked together on Belle based off of some of their interviews. She seemed to like him too. He is just playing a character. Even though I love Sam, I didn't like Lestat. I am new to the fandom but I think Louis finally realized that Lestat treated him bad and that's why he is in love with Armand now. Did you think "the love of my life" was fake? I didn't see it that way. Louis must love Armand more because he actually said it to him and never told Lestat anything like that. I know everyone is going to say "Armand is so bad" but I think Armand won't be that way to Louis. Maybe to everyone else. I feel like Armand loves Louis more than Lestat too based of what I've seen so far. I also ship Loumand because they seem happier in the modern day. Do you think the show might change things up and these two will actually end up together?

Hi there, thank you, I'm glad you like the blog. This is going to be a bit of a long one so:

tldr: oui mais non, it's complicated.

To your first part, I just want to point out that one can find black people attractive and still be a racist. Many slave owners used their slaves for sexual gratification or even fathered children with them, but it didn't stop them from thinking black people were inferior and deserved to be kept as chattel.

That being said, there is zero proof that Sam has a single racist bone in his body or that he is anything but a lovely sweet man just doing his job. It's all just a stupid assumption made by idiots who are unable to distinguish between an actor and the characters they play.

To you second part, I made a detailed post a while back, explaining why I think from present day Louis' perspective, Armand is indeed the love of his life and I don't think he was lying when he says that to Daniel.

The notion of Armand is evil only to others but not to Louis is not entirely true in the sense that what he does is in the name of loving Louis but Louis still ends up getting terribly hurt by it. And I think the same imbalance of power that existed between Louis and Lestat is very much still present here because Armand is an infinitely powerful being and Louis is still a fucking mess. I talk about this in a bit more detail in this post.

We still don't know how they go from Paris and what we know happens there, to where they are in present day, so this perspective may shift or be shown in a different light once we have the context of season 2.

But Like Assad said on the podcast, Armand and Louis' relationship is much gentler and less tumultuous than with Lestat. Armand is - in general - less brash than Lestat which at times can also veer into callous and detached. But that actually one of the things I love about him is how very little pretence at humanity he maintains compared to the other vampires in the VC.

As for the two ending up together, they do canonically reconcile and go on to have a beautiful relationship though we don't really see much of it because, as I keep emphasizing, after IWTV the VC becomes the Lestat de Lioncourt show and everyone else sort of fades in the background and sadly I don't see the show deviating significantly from that.

So really the point of this long meandering ramble in that in the same way I advise my friend not to compare every new guy they date to their toxic college ex, I think the best way to enjoy Loumand as a ship is to not view it solely in contrast to Loustat but rather as it's own separate thing that has its own highs and lows, good things and bad things, joys and pains etc. etc.

[dannyreviews]

Affliction (1997)

One of the hardest things to do when making an original piece of art is portray the real life surroundings of its plot. The film that goes above and beyond that encapsulation is the Coen Brothers' "Fargo" which is as perfect a film as you can get. But that's not the topic of this post. The following year came a film that has the desolate look of "Fargo", but in a more straightforward Hollywood fashion. Paul Schrader's "Affliction" is a competent piece of cinema that gets its strength more on its substance, but not in the plotting.

In the snowy hills of New Hampshire, officer Wade Whitehouse (Nick Nolte) has a lot of emotional baggage. He's in the middle of a messy custody battle with his ex-wife (Mary Beth Hurt), his friend (Jim True-Frost) is a suspect in the death of a Massachussetts businessman (Sean McGann) during a deer hunt, he is conflicted as to whether to marry his girlfriend Marge (Sissy Spacek) and is still haunted by his abusive childhood at the hands of his father Glen (James Coburn). When Wade's mother dies, he and his brother Rolfe (Willem Dafoe) must confront their personal demons while also getting to the bottom of a mystery involving the deceased businessman and his boss Selectman Gordon Lariviere (Holmes Osborne Jr.) pertaining to a dodgy real estate deal.

"Affliction" has the appearance of a film steeped in mystery and intrigue, but very little of it actually bears any real suspense. The story involving the businessman's death is treated as an ordinary subplot rather than the main story. Another criticism is how the town and its citizens are shown. The desolate nature of the small town lacks any real interest for its urban legends and old wives' tales. The characters are all creations of Hollywood from their mismatched accents (Minnesotan sounding people from New Hampshire) to costumes that look like a JCPenney catalog. It was those characteristics done right in "Fargo" that elevated that film to legenday status, the idea of a mystery being given full treatment, the characters speaking freely in their own dialect and the spontaneous flow of life going at a natural pace. In "Affliction", it's more like make-believe.

The one part of "Affliction" that is done well is its most important aspect, that of a father and son relationship in turmoil. Schrader's succeeds in showing us flashbacks that look like home movies down to the graininess of the film. We understand why Wade is not an effective parent, why he cannot commit to marriage and why he is on the brink of insanity. The narration by Rolfe connects the dots in showing the relevance between the Whitehouse family and the businessman's death, despite the latter's less than stellar use in the plot. When we find out the real story in the epilogue, we've stopped caring.

Nick Nolte gives one of his most effective performances as Wade. He's the guy you hate because of his callousness but the same time feel sorry for him because of his childhood scars. His rugged nature mixed in with his sensitivity is worn all over his face. James Coburn, in a well deserved Oscar winning performance, makes Glen Whitehouse into the Father From Hell, a lowlife with the most disdain for the human race. The final scene between the two is a testament to their acting chops and the lengths they can go to churn out characters with dimension. The rest of the cast (Spacek, Dafoe, Osborne, True-Frost) are also terrific in otherwise thankless roles. The one acting performance that was off-putting was that by Brigid Tierney as Wade's daughter Jill, which was all whining and no human dimension. Her scenes come off as cheap, direct to video family theatrics, not an R-rated Hollywood indie film directed by a Hollywood legend like Paul Schrader.

In addition to Coburn's Oscar win for Best Supporting Actor, the only other nomination was a well deserved one from Nick Nolte in the Best Actor category. "Affliction" could have been a masterpiece like "Fargo" if it only adhered more to the urban legend mentality and breathed life into its surroundings with more visual and characteristic subtlety. As it is now, "Affliction" is "Fargo-lite".

7.5/10

[xtruss]

Murder in the US: Everything to Know About Tyre Nichols Case Before Release of Body Cam Footage

Associated Press Photo

On Thursday, five former Memphis police officers were charged with murder and other crimes related to the beating death of 29-year-old Tyre Nichols. On Friday, body cam footage of the beating and Nichols’ arrest will be released to the public.

Tadarrius Bean, Demetrius Haley, Emmitt Martin III, Desmond Mills Jr., and Justin Smith have all been charged with the same crimes, including second-degree murder, aggravated assault, aggravated kidnapping, official misconduct, and official oppression. The five former officers, like Nichols, are Black. All five have also been fired from the Memphis Police Department.

What Led to This?

On January 7, police pulled Nichols over for alleged reckless driving. Police say Nichols fled the scene, causing the officers to chase him which then led to another “confrontation." At that time, police say Nichols complained about shortness of breath and was brought to a hospital in critical condition. He died on January 10.

Nichols’ family says he died of a heart attack and kidney failure that they argue was brought on by the confrontation with police officers. Authorities have not issued a cause of death, saying only that Nichols had a “medical emergency.”

An independent autopsy, the preliminary results of which were released by the family’s lawyers on Thursday, found that Nichols “suffered extensive bleeding caused by a severe beating.”

Body camera footage of the confrontation has been shown to city officials and Nichols’ family and attorneys. The footage will not be released to the public until Friday evening. According to one of the family’s attorneys, Nichols was beaten, shocked with a Taser, pepper sprayed, and restrained during his arrest. The attorney noted that Nichols could be heard crying out for his mother in the video.

City officials are not denying that the video is brutal and say it does not represent the city or its police department. Police Chief Cerelyn Davis said in a video statement that the beating by officers was “Heinous, Reckless and Inhumane.”

Shelby County District Attorney Steve Mulroy said all five officers played a role in Nichols’ death.

“The actions of all of them resulted in the death of Tyre Nichols,” Mulroy told reporters. “They are all responsible.”

An internal investigation found the officers used excessive force and failed to intervene or provide help, breaking department policy. They were fired from the department last week.

Two members of the Memphis Fire Department have also been relieved of duty while an internal investigation takes place. A spokesperson for the department said the two individuals were involved in the initial patient care of Nichols but declined to provide further details.

Family and Community Response

Nichols’ mother, RowVaugh Wells, said she could not watch the video of Nichols’ beating. “When I walked in that room and sat there and heard his voice, that just did something to me and I had to get out. I’ve already seen what they did to him. I don’t need to see how they did it,” she said.

Nichols’ stepfather, Rodney Wells, previously told reporters that the family would not accept anything less than a first-degree murder charge. The family has backed off that since, with one of their lawyers, Ben Crump, saying the charges the officers received were encouraging. “That these five officers are being held criminally accountable for their deadly and brutal actions gives us hope as we continue to push for justice for Tyre,” Crump said at a press conference.

Another lawyer for the family, Antonio Romanucci, said Nichols was treated like a “human piñata for those police officers.” The comment caused Nichols’ mother to break into tears during a news conference.

“The brutality of it all, that’s the most jarring part,” Rodney Wells said at a news conference Monday afternoon after seeing the body camera footage. “It was just so brutal. He didn’t deserve that.”

Memphis City Council Member Martavius Jones said police training in the city needs to be reevaluated. “This Black man died at the hands of other Black men that were wearing blue,” Jones said in an interview with CBS News. “Blue is the only color that matters here.”

Protests are expected when the body camera footage is released. Police Chief Davis is asking those who protest to remain peaceful. “I expect our citizens to exercise their First Amendment right to protest, to demand action and results,” she said at the same press conference where she condemned the former officers’ actions. “But we need to ensure our community is safe in this process. None of this is a calling card for inciting violence or destruction on our community or our citizens.”

Nichols’ family is also asking the community to remain peaceful after the footage is released.

Meanwhile, NAACP President Derrick Johnson released a statement, demanding Congress address continued police violence.

“If anyone needs to see this video, it's every single leader in Congress. Sit in your comfy leather chair, watch the video when it is released, and tell us what else you need to vote ‘yes’ on police reform. By failing to write a piece of legislation, you're writing another obituary. By failing to pass the legislation, you're passing on your sworn duty to protect the people,” the statement reads. “We know just how much all of you will be thinking and praying upon the release of the video, you don't need to mention it. Instead, tell us what you're going to do about it.”

Who Was Tyre Nichols?

Twenty-nine years old and a father to a four-year-old son, Tyre Nichols worked the afternoon to evening shift at FedEx with his stepfather. His family says he and his stepfather would often return to his mother’s home during their lunch break around 7 p.m. An avid photographer and skateboarder, Nichols would often go to nearby Shelby Farms to pursue his passions.

His mother says that he suffered from Crohn's disease and was under 145 pounds. She added that he had her name tattooed on his arm. “That made me proud,” she said. “Most kids don’t put their mom’s name. My son was a beautiful soul.”

According to the family’s lawyers, Nichols can be heard in the video of his confrontation with police crying out for his mother, who lived just 100 yards from where police beat him. They believe those were his last words.

“You should not be killed because of a simple traffic stop,” said Crump.

— By Ian DeMartino | Sputnik International | January 26, 2023

[blissedbaby]

im trying so hard but its so difficult i dont know how to love i just wish im doing it right

if it comes naturally then that must be love right

if your natural instinct is to go out of your way for someone and care for them and spend time thinking about them when your apart

if you change bad habits within yourself because you want to be a good person for them

if you try and do things you find difficult because you want them to be happy and you want to get over your own fears too...

honestly ive always been so scared of love, growing up i never felt worthy of love and i always thought there was something wrong with me

i used to hide away in my room and think about all the things i was missing out on, all the things that i could experience if i was more attractive or more fun and interesting.

i never had a good perception of men growing up, (apart from my grandad) but growing up around my father and seeing how he treated me and my mum i always thought all men were that way, i decided around the age of 12 that not only was i unloveable but that i didnt want to be loved, growing up in the household i did, seeing how my dad loved my mum meant i was scared of love

when i was in my early teens i did always feel insecure, seeing all my schoolfriends get boyfriends and always talk about boys, i wasnt popular or pretty i was the funny girl, the girl people would always be "having a laugh with" but looking back i dont think that i was funny i think i was just a good person to have a laugh at

around 16 i decided that i could do better with myself, i dyed my hair dressed how i wanted to and actually learned how to apply makeup, obviously after this my experience as a teenage girl changed, people started to make fun of me less and i was actually treated like i was a human being by the girls at school who looking back seriously used to take the piss out of me

after this change though i actually felt worse than i did initially, although externally i may look different, internally i still have all of my old insecurities

i can never believe that im pretty or worthy of any type of romantic love, i blame my childhood for that

and the worst part

now that im experiencing in my vision, true love for the first time ever, i cant even come to accept it...

i guess maybe i just dont want to rush it, i know i tell him i love him, and i do, i love him so much more than he knows but at the same time i would wait years upon years for him to fully feel like he can love me back 100%, i hope i would make a good girlfriend and hopefully one day im deserving of that

i know he does care for me, and ive never known anyone like him ever ive never had the fortune to encounter anyone as fascinating and thoughtful and supportive as him

i wonder what i have done in a past life to be able to deserve this in this life, and i know its selfish to say but i love that i get to see a side of him thats rare to others, i feel like we were made for eachother

i hate crying infront of him, i dont want him to think im weak, but in so many ways i have to admit that i am, a small part of me is still that insecure 13 year old who always felt unworthy of love

i wish in the future i feel more secure within myself to not be so afraid and worried about things that wont happen

i love him, hes shown me things and feelings that i never thought i was capable of, and these 7 (almost 8) months have been the best of my life, im forever grateful for his presence in my life, thank you for healing me