#believeinyourself

[positivelypositivethoughts]

[subtlelifeblog]

After every stormy night there comes a clear day,

My friend don't loose hope in the times of dismay.

The sun will rise, the stars will shine, And all will be just fine❤✨.

[psychicuniiverse]

The Conditions of Change

When adults seek change, they often focus on the intended result while hurrying through the practice. However, growth requires a bit more than 'just trying something out'. Here are some tips to help bring change upon your life, good luck!

Consistency

Real change, especially as an adult, requires many, many repetitions of a behavior or movement or position. 'Trying hard' is usually counterproductive as it tenses the muscles and the emotions. It is necessary to let the exercise or method work without undue ego participation over time. The practice has to become, for a time, 'just what one does.'

Willingness

The practices that change long standing blocks will usually seem, when presented to an adult learner, to be too subtle, too corny, not relevant, and mostly downright wrong. One must be willing to really try something different if one is at the point where one's own ideas have failed. Of course, discernment cannot be completely disposed of, but if a learner wants what another person has, they must be willing to do what that person did, however unnecessary or stupid it seems.

Sustainability

So often adult learners hurl themselves into an activity, and neglect other aspects of their lives. Soon they end up dropping the practice and rarely get back to it. A good practice must be one that can be 'what one does' for a good while. Immersion approaches exist, for example a 30 day retreat, but then carryover to one's regular life becomes the issue.

First Things First (Urgent Things Second)

In our over-busy, over-booked lives, if we wait for a 'free moment' to practice something, it invariably never arrives. To have consistency with a new practice it is necessary to make it a priority and see that it gets done first, leaving less important things, even if more urgent, to 'scroll off the screen'

The Plateau is Where the Work Starts

All people have latent abilities that come online easily and quickly when they start a practice (often called newbie or 'noob' gains). But once the latent abilities are developed and the participant is working to develop brand new capacities, the going is much much slower. This is where the large majority quit, discouraged, but this is where the work really is beginning.

Anticipate Anxiety

Real change even in small amounts will cause anxiety, which can be insidious and hard to attribute to the new practice. In an uncanny way, impulses to start something incompatible with the new practice, or new worries, confusion, or minor injuries will threaten to derail the change process. Barring gross demonstrable harm, the need is to 'stay the course!'

Don't Look to Validation or Approval

If another person is the reason to do something, in a moment they can become the reason not to. When a practice is undertaken to please someone (and yes this can be unconscious or semi-conscious) there are two big barriers: 1) effort gets substituted for the fruits of the practice, and the practice gets or stays sloppy because even sloppy practice shows effort, and 2) the instinct for autonomy (buried itself in some measure in the unconscious) will cause resistance

Frequent self-measurement is unhelpful

When one has undergone real change others will point it out, don't worry. Trying to get one's inner judge to validate oneself takes attention off the practice, apart from any concern that self-measurement will not be accurate.

The Placebo Effect is Not the Effect

Whenever one takes on a new promising practice there is going to be an immediate sense of elation. There is nothing wrong with enjoying this, but know that 1) it wears out in two to six weeks, 2) the real beneficial effect of the practice will be much more subtle at first then this elation, and take months or years to manifest. Many believe that when the elation stops, it means the practice has stopped working.

Understand the Difference Between Almost Nothing Happening and Actually Nothing Happening

When a ten-year-old wakes up in the morning no one notices a change in size from the night before, but actually there is, and over the course of years, that becomes very apparent. Real growth is like that, in that, almost nothing is happening. But with any practice, participants may worry that they are following a dead end. While some discernment and critical thinking may be needed in selecting a practice, once started attention should be focused on the actually practice, with some faith that results will come.

Work With Others

When working alone, long-standing defensive patterns can undermine the intended practice or even turn it into its opposite. Not that any growth practice is like an Olympic sport calling for perfect performance--one is simply seeking to stay in the 'stretch zone' or 'edge'. Other people, either peers or coaches can help with that by supplying explicit or implicit feedback. Not because they are know everything, but because they have gone or are going down the same path, and are more objective about you ('a different set of eyes').

Find Where You Are and Work From There

Don't try to work from where you want to be, that will be slower not quicker. This is about acceptance, a prerequisite for change

The Tightrope is an Illusion

When in new experiential territory, it can seem that the practice being encouraged will either quickly fall into a pitfall at one end, or into the opposite pitfall. There is no happy middle envisionable. This is just a lack of experience. For an experienced aerialist, the rope has come to appear like a sidewalk.

Don't Get Stuck in Inspiration

Inspiration, such as from most self-improvement materials and forums provides temporary elation by itself and therefore can become a habit. But nothing changes from inspiration. Slightly more important is turning inspiration into intention, definitely more important is turning intention into action, and absolutely more important is turning action into consistency.

There is No Such Thing as 'Ready'

Change is made by starting to work where you are with the tools at hand. In time, other tools will come to hand. The feeling of 'ready' does happen in life, but it has to do with situations already mastered. Also where aggression, anger, or desire is mobilized, the feeling of ready is not relevant.

Change is More About Unlearning than Learning

Here is what often happens: a man or woman wants to change a pattern so they focus directly on it and have initial success doing something different. Then they focus on other things, thinking the change is in the bag. The unwanted pattern comes back! The learner despairs that they cannot learn. Actually, the unwanted pattern was never gone (yet) it was just suppressed. It takes a longish trail of resuppression and practicing new habits until new practices become dominant.

Don't Make Effort the Focus

Many adolescent and adult learners have grown up in invalidating, emotionally treacherous environments where they could never be sure that their choices and criticisms wouldn't be attacked. This can lead to a over-emphasis of effort as a universally defensible good--remember the saying "You can't blame a guy for trying." But effort, increases arousal and tightens muscles, and strongly undermines some areas of change like breathing, relaxation, meditation, flexibility, and social skills. Of course with 'zero effort' nothing will change but effort should not be the focus.

Make Distractions and Irritants Part of the Practice

Everyone has had an experience of finding a quiet place, preparing to meditate or stretch, and BAM!, a loud sound like a leaf lower erupts. Or for nice guys they might have guilt at doing something 'selfish'. There is a temptation to wait to a better time, which often becomes never. Our ego fears we will do something badly! But the truth is, anything that cultivates growth will be done, at best, badly (really just imperfectly). Doing something even less perfectly is just as good, or greater an opportunity for self awareness as doing something just imperfectly. Awareness, attention, and mindfulness is increased.

The Rubber Band Effect

When we push against a homeostatic system, even one with a unhappy 'set-point', the system pushes back. To succeed, of course consistency and perseverance is necessary, but on occasion, several interventions need to be brought to bear simultaneously to reach a threshhold where the homeostatic set point is 'flipped', or reset.

[violacares]

Reminder!!

IT'S COMPLETELY FINE TO:

💜Ask for help

💜 Forgive yourself for something you did

💜 Put your mental health first

💜 Confront your voices

💜 Have breakdowns whilst healing

💜 Saying no and prioritizing yourself

[manifestisnow]

You can have anything you want all you have to do is believe.

[jessapinkgirl]

you’ll be amazed at what you can do

[selfloverainbow]

I'm proud of you for making progress in the ways that no one else sees or celebrates. You're doing an amazing job.

[tuliphmel]

♥︎

SYMBOLS AND KAOMOJIS ( from google )💐

⁎ ˚ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

⊹ 𖧧  ִֶָ 𖥔 ﾟ˖ ⊹ › ‹ ᵎ 𖧧. ⊹

◌ ⊹ 🐰 𓏲࣪⋆ 💗 𓄹 ࣪ . ݁

૮₍｡´𖦹 ˕ ×`｡₎ა  ↜(⃔ ◞•᷅௰•᷄)

˚ଘo(∗  ❛ั ᵕ ❛ั )੭່˙  ʕ=・ᴥ・=ʔ

૮₍｡´ᴖ ˔ ᴖ`｡₎ა  ᐢ ᴗ . ᴗ ᐢ

₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ  (´•̥̥̥д•̥̥̥`)  (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ: ･ﾟ

₍ᐢ ̥ ” ̞ ̥”ᐢ₎  ૮Ꮚ⑅ ˵ᴗ͈ . ᴗ͈꒱ა

₍⑅ᐢ-.-ᐢ₎!! ♡   ʕ • ᴥ • ʔ ･♡

₍ᵔ·͈༝·͈ᵔ₎  ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ  ଘ(੭´ ꒫`)੭

⪩ ♡ ⪨       ૮꒰ ｡っ -｡꒱ఎ       푸딩       ᧔♡᧓

꒰১ ໒꒱  ₊˚﹕✧﹒₊‧  ྀི☁️ ˚̣̣̣͙₊  ★ ⁺ 　 . ⁺

⠀⠀⠀  ପଓ࿚ ͜ ࣪ . ་   ˖ ࣪  ་  🧝🏽‍♀️  ପໄଓ    ˙·.¸¸.͡ ପଓ࿚ ͜

˖ ♡.˚˳១୨୧ ༘✰ ༘ ˚ ˚ ༘ ‧₊˚ ୭̥⋆｡ ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ * .♡ *:･ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-୨ ♡ ୧  (:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) ㅤ༺♡༻    ‧₊˚✩    𓆩 ☆ 𓆪    ⋆ ࣪ ᖭི

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ♡ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

₊‧   ˖ ࣪  ་ 🐇 ໒꒱

  ִ ۫  . ☃️ ˙·.¸¸. ִ ۫  .

. ་   ˖ ࣪  ་ ❄ 𝄞  ִ ۫

. ་   ˖ ࣪  ་ 🧸 ࿐ ִ ۫ ⁎ .

، • ୨ ࣪ ⊹ 🦇 . . ݁ ٬٬ ࣪ ،

₊‧   ִ ۫ ⁎ . 🌃 . ⋆ ࣪.

₊‧ ༒ . . ݁٬ ࣪ ، 🕸️ ₊ ˖  ་

. . ݁ ٬٬ ࣪ ، ♥︎ ،  ࣪ ⊹ ֶָ

[jsietasphd]

[pangeen]

“ Wise Words from a Legend “ // Sir Anthony Hopkins

Protect your Peace...

Via © mamba.dreams

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

[positivelypositivethoughts]

[motion90affect]

BE WHO YOU WANNA BE.

BE HOW YOU WANNA BE.

BE WHAT YOU WANNA BE.

BE ONLY YOU

[psychicuniiverse]

Improving Self Esteem

1. It starts with a decision to be your own person. Don’t live your life to please, or to impress, someone else.

2. Try and grasp the fact we’re different and have different goals and values … And don’t be swayed by other people who criticise your dreams.

3. Don’t compare your path or journey to someone else’s journey as we start from different places and face different challenges.

4. Be kind, understanding and patient with yourself. Accept that failures and mistakes are part of everybody’s life. Also, choose to frame mistakes as learning opportunities.

5. You need to root for yourself, and seek to be your own best friend. Don’t denigrate yourself – in public, or when you’re alone.

6. Remind yourself a weakness can become a strength, in time. It takes patience effort – but, eventually, things change!

7. Make a list of what you’re good at, and keep adding to the list. Also, note the strengths that others see, and comment on, as well.

8. Treat yourself with respect and praise the things that you do well. Don’t write them off as “nothing”, or as being “no big deal”.

9. Find ways to dissipate and channel negative emotions. Don’t allow them to dictate the way you start to see yourself.

10. Spend time with those who like you, and can see your worth and value … And, ignore those who attack you, and would like to see you fail.

11. Choose to stand up for yourself, and value being more assertive. Also, decide to start to set and then enforce appropriate, healthy boundaries.

12. Admit your mistakes - then learn to laugh at yourself. It helps remove the pressure and the stress of “being perfect”!

[kaportka]

Let go of trying. Start enjoying.

Stop investing your time and energy into making something happen.

Manifesting is easy.

Getting what you want is easy.

Living the life you love is easy. 

Stop focusing on what you should do, how many affirmations to repeat, how often you should visualize. 

When you want something to happen you are desperate. Instead of appreciating where you are, what you have, you keep focusing on lack.

Your outer world is a reflection of who you are.

When you are anxious, desperate, feel like you don’t have enough, events in your life will reflect your state of being.

When you become chilled out about your desires, the environment will change as well.

I know it is not easy when the world seems against you. When everything is going not the way it was supposed to go. But this is the time when you need to trust and let go. 

Let go of trying. Let go of thinking about it. Calm down your racing thoughts. Breathe in. Breathe out. Take a walk. Distance yourself from social media. Talk to a friend. Take your mind off the subject that is making you anxious. 

Gratitude is the primal form of the receivership, not worrying, doubting or manipulating energy, events, and people. 

Your vision of the future is already a part of your life so you can relax and quit worrying and doubting yourself.

Relax. It is already yours. 

When you are confident in knowing that the desire is yours, it is the state of the wish fulfilled. 

When you are no longer checking on the progress of your manifestation, you are in the state of the wish fulfilled. 

The state of the wish fulfilled has nothing to do with doing the work to get there. You are already there. 

Relax. Enjoy your life. Do what makes you feel good while not checking or thinking desperately about what is to come. Be in the present moment and make it the most enjoyable. 

Relax into knowing that your wishes are already fulfilled. 

Wishing you a beautiful day 💖

[manifestisnow]

This is a very simple yet powerful affirmation. By using this affirmation you are letting go of your desires and dreams. You are telling the Universe that you are no longer hanging on to your desires and dreams. This will enable the Universe to give you what you desire.