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#bella ramsey angst
piscesirko · 1 year
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omg bella angst with a happy ending, they're good friends, reader likes him, there's rumours about bella with a girl, she's upset and keeping distance, bella trying to figure out what's wrong, something like this if possible?
ty for the request!!!! this is a little longer than i expected but who cares! enjoy some bellaaa:)
-hurt/comfort, bit of angst, pining, cliche confession lol, fem reader
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it hurts you to ignore her this way.
she’s your friend.
best friend. for god knows how long.
and best friends are supposed to be there for each other. to help, and support, and care for one another when no one does. it's the principle — and you shouldn't want for more.
(you shouldn't want to hold her hand when you'd walk side by side. you shouldn't want to push the stranded curls off her forehead and stare deep into the umber of her eyes until everything dissipates and you're both left floating into this void; you shouldn't want to kiss him suddenly when he smiles. and you definitely shouldn't want to wake up beside him every morning and tell him that you love him.)
the thing is, they're normalized now. everyone does it when they know everything remains platonic. but you don't want to hurt yourself that way knowing he didn't feel the same. you couldn't bear the heartbreak.
so when you dawned upon that realization, or maybe when you've come to terms with the fact that the devil on your shoulder was right—that you're in love with him—you'd gone insane. your mind filled to the brim with possibilities of what might happen if you told him the truth. and each one increased the anxiety in your chest even more.
you tried to act like everything was okay. you acted normal around them . you talked like you used to. hung out like you used to. bella would hang an arm around your shoulders, rub her knuckle on your hair and laugh with you like you used to.
up until last week.
the picture of him with some girl on social media and articles. bella with a smile so bright it's familiar, and you realize that she’d only smile that way when she’s with you. and god, she’s laughing with a girl. a pretty girl; it's mind fucking to be hurt this way by just staring at an un consented image.
you drowned in unreasonable jealousy. because why should you be jealous if he's not yours? why should you be jealous in the first place? you fool yourself. you're only jealous because he didn't spend time with you, not because he was with some girl.
some girl.
some pretty girl.
and while you wallow in self-pity, you ignore them. for both your sakes. before you do something that could ruin everything.
bella does their nightly texts — hey! how are you? and you'd respond curtly than go on a long rant. obviously he'd wonder what's wrong, but he'd let it go on the first night.
hey, what's up?
hey can we talk?
hey i miss you :(
until three nights later when you flat out ignored her and it had gotten to the point she started texting your friends. and the same reason was used: you're busy. you're asleep. your phone died. you're out of town for work.
you're in love with her and got stupidly jealous at the sight of her someone else.
so it brings her here.
a week later, outside your door with nothing but questions formed from his confusion and frustration. bella knows you're by the door looking through the peephole by your shadow beneath the minuscule gap beneath the door. you see her sigh heavily, holding back an eyeroll.
"i know you're there, (y/n),"
"fuck," you whisper, standing back on your heels and let your hands fall and raise between your side and the doorknob.
"just— let me in, please? i just want to talk." you hear him sigh faintly. "please?"
you take a huge deep of breath, hand shaking as you twist the doorknob. you're first greeted by the cold air from the hallways, before your eyes land on bella’s hunched figure. covered solely in a pair of blue sweats and a white shirt, her chain hung on her neck.
"hey," he exhales, relieved. "thank god you're alive. thought someone might have kidnapped you and pushed you off a cliff.
you frown. "well, that's specific."
bella comes in when you step aside to make way. he removes his shoes, placing them beside the door as he wipes his feet on the mat. "i was worried." he says. "until i saw you hanging out with our friends while you were ignoring my texts."
it's amusing how quick her tone changed, almost as if she hadn't been worried in the first place as she quickly returns to being irritated by your ignorance. you shrug. "i- i was busy."
"busy with what?" despite the irritation, their voice remains soft, their patience speaking for them.
"work," you laugh a little, tone pitched as you hand waves in the air. "i was busy with work. and- and catching up with others. that's all." bella furrows his eyebrows. "sorry if i ignored your texts. i'm...i'm sorry."
"that's okay," he murmurs. "just wished you would have told me. i thought that i might have done something to make you mad. i was worried."
he's only saying that because he's my friend. best friend.
"sorry," you say again. "just got caught up with things,”
"yeah with partying," it's obvious that he's bitter. and somehow, it pisses you off that he's pissed off for being ghosted. "didn't even bother to invite me,"
you scoff, turning around. "why would i invite you if you're with some girl?"
it was a sarcastic remark, your mouth speaking before you could think. your voice meant to fool her into thinking that it meant nothing. but bella knows what's up—especially with the strain in your voice as you said the last word that was followed by a sardonic chuckle. her face falls, furrowing her eyebrows at you.
"what are you talking about?"
you clear your throat, scratching your forehead. "i dunno. it's social media bella. one day you're in a famous show and the next people with cameras follow you around."
bella frowns. "what?"
"come on," you spin around to face him again, laughing incredulously at him. "people saw you with a girl. who you've been with for the past week. so why would i invite you?"
"because i'm your friend!"
"you were with some girl!"
"that doesn't even make any sense!"
their voice raises, but not loud enough that it hurts your ears. your face wrinkles, throat swallowing your words that the only thing that leaves your mouth are defensive scoffs as your hand drops to your side, turning back around to walk somewhere. "you- you were busy."
"bullshit—hey!," bella pivots his way in front of you, blocking your way to your bedroom, hands on either side of the doorframe.
"don't lie to me, (y/n). look- if i did something that hurt you, or made you pull away from me, just tell me. please?"
she’s desperate now, affliction in her plea. a heavy rock rises to your throat, hands to a fist on your sides. bella’s eyebrows raise, leaning down slightly as if to encourage you to speak. confined with the difficulty to choose between the truth or not, and you sigh heavily.
"you did nothing, okay?" you shrug his hands off, your index finger picking at the skin beside your thumbnail. "everything's fine. it's my fault. "
"then talk to me," he adjures, his hands clueless as to where it should be. "please? if—if you want some space for whatever it is that happened, fine. just tell me, and i'll give you that space.”
her patience makes your heart ache, because you feel guilty for lying to the person so tolerant and understanding. you hear the desperation in her voice. loud and sad as it yearns for your truth to feed his clueless mind, worried of the wrong she didn't do. you look away from bella, at the wall where you trace its small bumps, and you huff.
"it was because of the girl,"
bella’s back straightens, his bottom lip jutting out slightly as his eyebrows return to its place. and suddenly he's perplexed. "oh. why?"
"i—"
"do you not want me to hang around her?" he asks. "are you jealous that i spent the week with her...?"
"no! no, i don't want to be telling you who you should hang out with. and no, why would i be jealous?" the white face paint's beneath the sink, and there's a red wig in your closet, 'cause you look like a fucking clown.
bella scoffs. "then what is it?"
"god, okay, maybe i was a little jealous," you quip, throwing your hands in the air. "maybe- maybe i got upset that my best friend's with another girl. but not because she's taking up his time, but because she's pretty! pretty enough that i'm jealous of you? no, but could be 'cause she is hot. but yes, i could be if i didn't like—“
you pause, your brain telling you you've been talking too much, because bella’s got her head ducked and eyebrows raised to listen. and if you looked closely, her lips are twitched up slightly in bemusement. you close your mouth, glaring at her.
"if you didn't like?" he smirks. "you like someone."
"no i don't."
"yes you do."
"what makes you say that?"
"you said it."
"like can mean anything. i mean, i like your mom because she's nice. i like you because you're my friend. like doesn't mean like like, because i like anyone. and liking anyone doesn't mean i like like them."
"what?"
"fuck!" there's a boulder in your throat, hard and prevents the air from slipping through. you don't find his amusement entertaining, and you're trying to swallow that rock down your throat while he's looking at you like that.
— all innocent and happy, eyes wide as they stare at you like, like you're important.
like they’re in love with you.
they’re not.
bella’s smile falls, noticing the tears at your waterline that makes your eyes all glossy.
"hey. what's wrong? is it something i said?"
"no," you push him aside, stepping into your room and sitting on the bed right in the middle. "it's not your fault. it's never been your fault," the heel of your palms are pressed against your eyes. you hear him shuffle until you feel him kneeling in front of you, gentle hands wrapping around your wrists.
"then what is it?"
you whimper. and when she tugs your hands off your eyes and replaces it with her own thumbs, letting your fat tears wet her calloused skin, it makes your heart hurt even more, with the fact that she’s so gentle and caring.
"i like you,"
three words. something he's heard before but not in the way that he thinks. "yeah, i know. i like you too."
"no, bel," you close your eyes, nails lightly scratching at the bracelet on his left wrist. "i like you."
there's a soft sigh that leaves them that begins the silence between the two of you. the way their hand stays on your face but weakens in the slightest; the way her eyes narrow in anxiousness as they waited for your confession. you mistake this his silence as disgust — that you'd liked your best friend as something more. and you wonder what would have happened if you told her that you loved her.
you didn't have to. because you spoke again. "i...love you."
it's what makes him fully remove his hands on your face, feeling the burn his touch left behind (or maybe it was just the sudden sweat on his palms). he sits down on the carpet, cross legged, a soft thump of denim to wool. bella breaks his eyes away from you to look at your knees in a quiet state of shock. his lips parted in the slightest.
"oh..."
"you know what," you sniffle, licking your lips as you stand up, wiping your tears with the side of your hand. "i'm just gonna go."
bella, who's still processing everything, looks up at you. "you live here."
"i didn't say i was gonna leave for good, dumbass—"
you're startled with the sudden feeling of her lips on yours, befuddled with her speed from sitting to standing. bella holds your face in his hands, flesh rough but touch gentle as he keeps you close to him. and your eyes are open, sense of touch heightened that you can feel every fibre of her as she pressed her mouth harder against yours that it renders your eyes shut and your hands on the softness of her hair.
his mouth opens to part yours, his breath fanning on your face and some into your mouth, his forehead resting against yours. bella’s thumbs drag across the dark circles beneath your eyes, his eyebrows furrowing before he lets out a chuckle.
"i'm sorry," they murmur. “i just kissed you,"
you open your eyes. "it's alright,"
your hand drags from his shoulder to his chest, watching as he slowly looks at you.
dark eyes bright with glee, a ring of doting arousal on the corner of their irises. bella angles your face back, neck straining slightly so they’d get a better view of you. "i like, well, i love you too."
they chuckle when a slow smile comes to your face. "really?"
"fuck yeah" he wrinkles his nose. "i've loved you since that first chemistry read"
before you respond, she kisses you again, a deep inhalation of your scent as her nose dig on your face. her lips are soft, cherry, hot and feverish when they move with yours and break in a soft click.
"you're amazing," she murmurs. "beautiful," a kiss, "smart," another, "unfathomably lovely," and a last. "i love you. that girl you saw? she's just a friend. she's nothing compared to you."
you shake your head, laughing. "christ in hell, bella."
"i love you," he repeats. "yeah? i'd post it on instagram or whatever. i love you."
"i get it—"
"i love you."
"i know," you kiss his nose. "i love you too."
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williamswifey · 1 year
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𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐘
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pairing ; bella ramsey x fem!reader
summary ; bella surprise visits you after months apart. what happens if they get the wrong idea about seeing you and your friend together? (they/them pronouns used for bella)
content warnings ; none really
a/n ; i’ve been meaning to write a bella fic for FOREVER, expect many more on the way!
masterlist
bella had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. in your early teenage days, before bella’s rise to fame, the two of you spent every day together in your bedroom, pressed up against their chest as the radio played in the background.
flash forward a few years later, bella was not just your best friend, but a lover. the two of you shared an apartment, one that you had shared for a little over a year and a half.
it was quaint, but perfect. the bare walls had been decorated with paintings, photos, random knick knacks, and bella’s guitar. your plants littered the windowsills, giving the sun an opportunity to grow them.
however, in the last few months, it had to begin to feel like bella didn’t live there anymore. of course it wasn’t their fault, as the last of us had just taken off and they were traveling everywhere but here for interviews and such. you were happy for them—truly. you remembered how during your heart-to-hearts with bella, they’d confide in you about how acting was their passion, and now they were finally getting everything they wished for and more.
while bella offered to fly you out to wherever they were to spend some quality time together, you always declined. you were studying at university to become a doctor, and you couldn’t put your life on hold just to visit them. especially when you were so busy yourself, and even if they were home, you probably wouldn’t even see them that often either.
bella made an effort to call you every night, texting nonstop back and forth on the days their schedule wasn’t as busy. you’d hear the way their voice would brighten when talking about their days, and it made you realize the distance was worth it. it was worth it if bella was happy.
still, you felt stupid waiting for them at home like a damsel in distress. you hated the quietness of the apartment, when it was usually filled with you and bella’s laughter.
you tried to ignore the loneliness that blossomed deep within your chest late at night, as you stared longingly at bella’s empty side of the bed. it had become routine to sleep on bella’s side, bundled in their pillows and blankets that smelled enough like them to lull you into an uneasy sleep.
you busied yourself in your studies, spending hours your university’s library until the librarian practically had to drag you out. your grades shot up sky high, and you were immensely proud of yourself. you had even managed to make a few friends from the students in your classes.
a girl named tara had seen you in the library and introduced herself, and the two of you hit it off very quickly. she introduced you to her other friends, hadley and christopher, and suddenly the loneliness wasn’t eating away at you like it had been before.
you had mentioned bella to them once or twice, hadley was dying to meet bella, christopher didn’t believe you about your ‘secret someone’, and tara didn’t really seem to care.
it had been a wednesday afternoon, and classes ended early in the day. tara, christopher, and hadley were at your apartment, eating pizza and binge watching the scream movies.
hadley was laying down on the couch, her legs on christopher’s thighs. you were pressed up besides tara, your head on her shoulder.
you had barely been on your phone all day, after having forgotten to charge it last night, and all afternoon it had been powered off as you spent time with your friends.
you were halfway through the second movie, right when it was getting good. you and your friends were screaming in suspense, so loudly that you almost didn’t notice the unexpected knock at the door.
almost.
“hold on, guys—pause the movie,” you said with a smile on your face, gulping down the rest of your water as you headed for the door.
your hand twisted the doorknob and you suddenly came face to face with bella.
“bella?” you said in disbelief, blinking rapidly.
bella laughed at your expression, you could see the crinkle of their eyes through their glasses.
bella was wearing sweats from top to bottom, their hair in a bun out of their face, with backwards cap. their rings adorned their fingers as they suddenly took your hand in theirs.
“didn’t you see my texts? or my calls?” bella asked, tilting their head.
you felt your face redden in embarrassment, shaking your head.
“my phone has been off all day.” you replied. bella nodded, adjusting their backpack, and you noticed their suitcase behind them.
“i’m sorry, bells,” you said, wrapping your arms around them, “i feel so bad. i would’ve picked you up from the airport.”
bella shrugged, pecking your cheek.
“it’s okay. i just want to get off my feet and take a nap,” bella said, and you felt your face redden more—if that was even possible.
you cringed.
“yeah…so i invited a few of my friends over—but i can totally kick them out! they’ll understand!”
this time it was bella’s turn to cringe. they looked so exhausted, and you felt your chest tighten in shame. the one day you didn’t have your phone—was the day bella decided to come visit.
“no, it’s fine! they can stay,” bella said firmly, “what were you guys doing?” bella questioned.
“we were binging the scream movies. i know you love them and i’d love for you to join us…but if you’re tired i understand.” you weren’t sure where the sudden shyness came from, and you were talking to bella as if they were a stranger. bella agreed with a smile, as you took their hand and led them inside, carrying their things behind you.
you placed bella’s backpack on the kitchen counter, and put their suitcase next to the dining room table. bella followed behind you as you walked back to your friends in the living room.
“hey guys,” you said “this is bella. i would’ve mentioned they were coming earlier, but i didn’t check my phone. ta-da,” you said with a grin, showing bella off with jazz hands as you saw their cheeks redden.
“hi, bella! i’m hadley,” hadley introduced, shooting up from where she sat on the couch as she shook bella’s hand, looking towards you, “it’s nice to put a name to the face, we’ve heard so much about you.”
“really?” tara piped up, “i haven’t heard much of anything.”
you tilted your head in confusion as you assumed she was kidding around. bella glanced your way.
“shut up, tara,” hadley replied, “yes you have,” she said, ruffling tara’s hair.
the room grew awkward for a moment, until christopher introduced himself. the awkwardness seemed to wash away, and you resumed the movies once more. you moved from where you previously sat besides tara as you sat with bella, you were laying on their chest as they played with your hair gently.
bella seemed to be enjoying the movies, as were your other friends. you had to admit you spoke a lot during movies, and you and tara had practically talked through the entire third movie.
you liked tara, she was good freiend…but that’s all she was to you. you were somehow oblivious to tara’s obvious feelings towards you, missing the way she flirted when you spoke and the way she touched your shoulder when you said something funny.
bella noticed, though.
night was beginning to fall as the five of you finished the fourth movie, deciding to call it a night. you knew bella must’ve been exhausted from their travels, so you and your friends bid each other a goodnight.
you began to clean up as bella went to shower, uncharacteristically quiet. when you had finished, you headed upstairs, finding bella in your shared bed, scrolling on their phone.
bella had changed into a loose white t-shirt, black boxers adorning their legs. their hair was down now, slightly damp from their shower.
you crawled in bed besides them, gently plucking their phone out of their hands as they looked towards you.
“i missed you,” you said, bella humming in reply.
“i missed you too,” they said, reaching for their phone once more.
“hey, what’s wrong?” you said, noticing the way their eyebrows were crinkled together, the way they were when they were upset about something.
“nothing,” bella dismissed.
you sighed, taking bella’s face in your hands. their brown eyes bored into yours, as they looked down.
“how come you never told me about tara?” asked bella.
“tara? what about her? she’s just a friend,” you waved off with a shrug.
“does she know that?” bella asked, “i saw the way she was looking at you, touching you.”
you suddenly noticed what was wrong, pressing a kiss to bella’s forehead.
“are you jealous, bells?” you asked suddenly, and bella shrugged.
“i just…i was so excited to see you and i saw you with her. i hadn’t seen you in two months, and we only have five days left before i’m off again.” bella sighed.
“bella, i promise you,” you began, taking her hand, ��we will make the best out of the next five days. we’ll get through all the traveling, and one day, when i’m not busy with school and you’re not busy with work, we’ll be able to build a life together, y’know?”
this seemed to make bella feel a little better, you felt their shoulders drop the tension they previously held.
“…you really want to build a life together?” bella asked hopefully, a blush tinting her cheeks.”
“i wouldn’t want to with anyone else but you.”
you and bella spent the next few hours talking about anything and everything. you felt everything clicking into place once more, and everything felt right.
however, bella’s exhaustion seemed to take affect, as their eyes were beginning to close as you gently played with their now-dry hair.
bella’s head was against their pillow, and you noticed they began to sniff it. you were about to question what they were doing, when they suddenly spoke up.
“…why does my pillow smell like you?” bella asked, “not that i’m complaining,” they added sleepily.
“i may or may not have been sleeping on your side of the bed because i missed you.” you mumbled sheepishly, as a giggle erupted from bella, and they suddenly turned your face towards them and planted a kiss on your lips.
yeah, you missed this.
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x-aefx · 5 months
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★PRIORITY - BELLA RAMSEY
Bella Ramsey x y/n
Summary; Bella would much rather spend time alone with you then at a party.
You loved Bella and you loved their friends, but after a long day at work you preferred to go straight to bed then be at a party.
The loud sound of music was the first thing to greet you when you approached your shared home, then the smell of alcohol and then the multiple bodies inside your home.
You pushed through crowds of people as you tried to locate your partner. Finally you found them, standing in a group of three in a quiet enough spot. You figured it would be rude not to say hi.
Bella saw you approach, a large grin forming on their face their eyes met yours. They waved enthusiastically at you.
Noticing the gesture, Bella's friends turned to look at you. Each smiling friendly at you. You smiled back.
You walked over to Bella, interlocking your hands as they pecked your lips.
"Y/N! It's been so long, where have you been?" A new face entered the conversation, joining the circle as they stood beside Amy. It was your friend Leah. She was right it had been nearly three weeks since you seen her. You two never went that long without talking.
You plastered your best smile even if you didn't feel it. Your eyes threatened to close as exhaustion was creeping down onto you.
"I've been busy with work. Sorry, I should've gotten in touch." You apologised. You meant every word. You missed being around friends, however you were practically half asleep right now.
"Don't worry about it, I understand." Leah smiled genuinely, waving off your apology.
Bella traced their thumb against your hand. The action making it harder to keep yourself awake.
A new topic of conversation arose, everyone engaged in it. You took their distraction to excuse yourself.
"I think I'm going to head to bed. I can barely keep my eyes open." You whispered into Bella's ear, only for them to hear.
Bella looked at you with worry. "Want me to come with? I can end the party."
You shook your head in response.
"no need. I can sleep through anything. And you should enjoy yourself with everyone, I don't need a babysitter." You kissed their cheek before they could argue back. A shy smile crept onto their face from the action.
Leaving Bella with their friends you made your way upstairs to your bedroom. Everyone at the party were all close friends of you and Bella, no one was seriously drunk and you trusted each of them to leave on their own and without a mess. It wasn't the first time a party was held in this house.
Shutting the bedroom door behind you helped to muffle out the sound of music and conversation.
Quickly and quietly you changed into your pajamas and got ready for bed.
There was no better feeling than crawling into bed after a long day. Wrapping yourself under the duvet you lay on your side and closed your eyes to try fall asleep.
The door creaked as it opened, the noise no longer muffled and light from the hall poured into the bedroom. It disappeared instantly once the door was shut.
You looked up in confusion.
"Bella? I told you-"
"I want to be here, with you." They cut you off before you could try persuade them to leave.
Bella changed into their own pajamas quickly and brushed their teeth before eagerly getting into bed beside you. You couldn't help but smile.
Immediately, you were pulled closer to them with your head laying on their chest and their arm wrapped around your waist securely.
It was peaceful.
Just you and Bella.
Your limbs were tangled with theirs, you could hear every beat of their heart and feel every breath they took. You couldn't imagine a more perfect place or feeling then being with Bella. Just the two of you.
Bella placed multiple kisses on your face. You felt your face heat up, you burried your face in their shoulder so they wouldn't see your blush.
Bella giggled at you shyness.
"I love you. " they whispered.
You couldn't control your smile from widening. You felt your heart skip a beat and the butterflies in your stomach grow.
"I love you too." You responded quietly but Bella heard. They pulled you closer to them, you didn't even think that was possible.
You never felt happier or more at peace than you did with Bella.
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adorethedistance · 1 year
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The Late Late Show - Bella Ramsey x Reader (18+)
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General Masterlist
Warnings: (18+ only minors DNI) afab reader, smut, swearing, teasing, lmk if there’s anything else I missed.
Words: 2697
Summary: After a promotional appearance on the Late Late show, you and Bella confess your feelings for one another; your skepticism causes them to prove just how much they like you back.
A/N: It’s almost 1 am. I don’t feel like proof reading this. I want to be done with it. SO here we are LMAO. In all seriousness I’m really stoked on this piece and I hope y’all like it. It’s been a while since I’ve written a full smut so I’m a little rusty.
Pedro, Bella, and I are on the Late Late Show to promote season 2 of The Last of Us, and Mr. James Corden had the incredible idea to make us play ‘spill your guts or fill your guts’. In rehearsal the questions were all mundane and simple to keep the surprises for the actual show. Now that the questions are real, my anxiety has skyrocketed and I anxiously await my turn. So far, Pedro has had a sip of bird saliva and Bella has confessed who their least favorite person to work with in their career was. Now it’s my turn and I’m almost too anxious to comprehend the words coming out of anyone’s mouth. Bella turns the table slowly, watching my face and gauging my reactions to each food as it goes by.
“Y/n.”
“Hm.”
“For this question, I will give you…” They pause to think for a moment, “The one thousand year old  egg.” I fight the urge to gag and Bella laughs deviously. They noticed the way I was particularly disturbed by it when we reviewed all the food options on the table for the camera. Bella laughs their adorable laugh after reading the question written on the cue card; I can’t stop the fake frown that’s appeared on my face.
“Which of mine and Pedro’s acting performances were the worst, and why?” The audience erupts into laughter, cheers, and groans as I contemplate how I can answer this question. “There is no way in hell I’m eating that.”
“Then you’ve got to answer.”
“I don’t know! I think you guys aren’t capable of bad performances.”
“Booooo.”
“Why are you booing me?!” I screech in surprise although I can’t help the smile forming on my face. Pedro jumps in,
“That’s a cop-out!”
“That is such a cop-out answer!” Bella laughs, biting their lip and resting their elbows on the table, displaying their hands that are sparsely decorated with rings.
“Why are you guys teaming up on me? This is so unfair. James, do something!”
“My hands are tied-”
“No, they are not it’s your show!”
“That one thousand year old egg isn’t getting any younger,” Bella quips, a devious smirk adorning their features. More laughter from the audience and I look back at Bella with pleading eyes. They raise their eyebrows to taunt me, clearly enjoying how I’m scrambling for answers. I bite the inside of my cheek and playfully glare. Another eyebrow quirk from Bella. On national television?
I cave, “Oh god. Okay, uh, Pedro. Maybe Mando? Since you’ve got the helmet on and we can’t really see your face emote a lot?”
“Kind of a cheat answer but I’ll leave it be,” Bella teases.
“Bella… Maybe Judy since you didn’t have too much on screen time so you weren’t given a lot to work with?” I attempt to calm my breathing as I wait for the other three to either approve or disapprove my answers. The jury is pleased with my response and I’m saved from eating the egg in front of me that is literally black and green.
We continue another rotation of questions going around the table until James takes us to commercial break. Bella, Pedro, and I stand from the table and head back to the couch for our actual interview portion of the show. It’s the last segment before we’re wrapped and I can’t wait to be finished so I can get out of this makeup and borderline black tie attire.
James gives us the standard questions that come with promoting a show and I find myself struggling to stay present. The way Bella moves their hands and the numerous rings that adorn their fingers are eternally captivating.
I want to just reach out and grab it. To hold their hand in mine and exist like that for as long as we possibly could. I want to hold them in my own and kiss them to show how much I care. I want to clench around their hands as I scream their name loud enough for anyone to hear. I want to bite down on exposed skin as they fuck me and tell me I’m their good girl. I crave Bella. I’ve always craved Bella.
“I think we’ve lost her. Y/n?” I hear James’ voice bring me back down to earth. My cheeks are a thousand degrees warmer as I realize I’ve been caught, lost in the fantasy of what it would be like to belong to Bella.
“What?” I ask when I zone back in. Everyone in the room laughs and I try to blink away my embarrassment.
“You play Dina, correct?”
“I do, yes.”
“This is a new character for this season, what can you tell us about her?”
“Yeah, so Dina is Ellie’s love interest in this part of the story,” I proceed to tell James the same basic spiel that I give every interviewer and he listens intently. He asks a few more questions about the characters and what it was like for the three of us to work closely on set. The interview goes over fun, smooth, and funny and before we knew it, the show was wrapped shortly after. Bella disappears almost immediately in search of a bathroom, leaving me with Pedro as James begins talking with one of his producers.
“Are you okay?” Pedro nudges my shoulder to get my attention. I nod rapidly which does not at all minimize his suspicion.
“Yeah, I’m totally good.”
“You were in space for the entire interview. What’s up?” He asks sincerely. Is this something I should tell him? Is this something I shouldn’t tell him? I’m at a loss for direction but Pedro’s reassuring smile reminds me that he is probably the best confidant on planet earth.
“It’s about Bella…” I start off slowly.
“Yeah, you really seem to like them.”
“SHHHH! Why would you say that so loud?!” I whisper shout which if anything draws more attention to us.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Pedro holds both hands up to try and ease my anxiety and I drop my shoulders to try and reel everything back in.
“You’re right, though. I do really like them.”
“Apparently.”
“So what do I do?”
“What do you mean?”
I scowl, “What do you mean what do I mean?”
“It’s obvious they like you as well.” I tilt my head back incredulously.
“What are you talking about?” Pedro laughs heartily before responding,
“I may not be the smartest person in the room but I’m not an idiot. I see how you look at each other. How they look at you.” My heart flutters with excitement. “It’s a huge crush if I’ve ever seen one.”
“Well, what do I do then?” I ask, and we’re back to square one. Pedro shakes his head at my obliviousness.
“You tell them you like them and then kiss!” He says as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. Ever the optimist. As I open my mouth to speak, I cut myself off to see Bella has rejoined the three of us. A quaint smile paints their face and my heart flutters again tenfold.
“What’d I miss?”
“Not much from me but Y/n has something to say.” I go wide-eyed and look at Pedro in panic. If looks could kill he would be a dead man this instant. Bella nods at me expectantly and I feel a rush of anxiety in my core. I do my best to cover up the fact that I’m taking a deep breath to soothe my nerves.
“We should go somewhere… not… here.” Bella laughs at the peculiar rhythm of my speech but agrees and follows me backstage. In the dressing room that we shared when getting ready, I flick the switch that lights up the perimeter of lightbulbs around the vanity mirror. Bella senses the tension that’s practically radiating off of me and closes the door behind us.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay I just-” I trail off in search of the right words.
“...You just what?” Bella asks, gently.
Moment of truth.
“I really like you, Bella. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I’m anxious that bombarding you with this information could scare you away, and then we wouldn’t be friends anymore because it would be too awkward. So then I’d be losing not just my best friend, but also just you as a person and I’d hate for that to happen because I like you as a person too and I-”
“I’ve been waiting for this conversation.” Bella says smugly.
“-Have been so worried about- wait what?” As my whole rambling rant lead me to look down, my head snaps back up. “You’ve been waiting for this?”
“Mhm.”
“Would you care to share with the class?” I ask, facetiously causing them to laugh at the sarcasm.
“Pedro and I actually had a bet going for how long it would take you.” I frown at their words and blink away my confusion. Bella drops the smug smile. They stare at me and I feel my face heat up being under their intense gaze.
“You… don’t like me back?” I say, my heart sinking in panic as I had just bared my soul to them.
“Of course I like you back.”
“Well, don’t say that like it was obvious!”
“I made it pretty obvious.”
“No, you didn’t!”
“We spent Valentine’s day together.”
I open my mouth to protest but close it to consider maybe it wasn’t just a ‘Galentine’s’ hang out.
“But-”
“We literally woke up spooning when we had that sleepover.” I blink. Once, twice, and then shut my eyes completely to block out the visual of Bella’s face as I come to the same conclusion.
“Yeah, I guess it was pretty outright.” They simply nod a yes and I feel the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders at once. “So, you like me?”
“Oh my god-” Bella rolls their eyes, and swiftly comes over to grab my face in their hands and kiss me passionately. Their lips on mine are the symphony of an orchestra that I’ve long awaited. Each movement of our lips, the rhythmic richness of percussion. Their hands tracing down the silhouette of my body, the sensuality of the brass. A desire-filled rush of blood coursing through my entire body, the serenity of the woodwinds. And the intensity of our feelings for one another becoming intertwined into one energy, the complexity of the strings.
I’m fully floating on cloud nine, drifting further and further away from the Earth and into the ethereality of Bella. The kiss started passionately and quickly becomes heated as the two of us revel in our lust for one another.
Bella grips my hair in their hand at the base of my neck, tugging the handful to break the kiss and tilt my chin upwards. They take the new access to kiss and suck the skin of my neck. Grazing their teeth over my larynx, biting into the side and sucking a harsh, clean mark into the exposed flesh. I groan and the sheer eroticism and grip the vanity counter behind me.
Bella’s ringed fingers gently grasp my hips, pushing me back to lean on the counter with more of my weight. They abandon the task of marking me, grabbing the fabric of my dress, pulling it up and cradling the hem of it in their hands at my hip sockets. All the while, they had sunken down to the floor, lustful eyes watching my face as they kneel on the floor.
“Can I?” They ask and I quickly nod yes as my mouth was too dry to form a verbal response. Lifting the hem of the evening dress over their head, Bella bites another hickey into my inner thigh. I squeak at the sensation. It hurts so good.
“Shhh. You’ve gotta stay quiet.” I nod rapidly as reassurance, temporarily forgetting they can’t see my face.
“Got it, sorry.”
“It’s okay, babygirl.” Bella then hooks their fingers into the waistband of the underwear I was wearing. “This okay?”
“Yeah,” I sigh out, anticipation dripping from my voice. They drop the garment to the floor and have me step one foot out of them. My left leg stays anchored on the ground as a point of support since the counter likely wouldn’t hold my entire body weight. Bella guides my right leg up and over their shoulder before they trace their tongue over my glistening core. I whimper out a noise of relief and my head drops back, readying myself for the ride of my life.
Their tongue traces through the folds, trailing up to draw my clit in their mouth. I let out a languorous moan. In an attempt to regulate my breathing, I pull in a deep breath of bliss. Bella expertly devours me and I feel myself pulsating from arousal. Judging by the smug hum of laughter I’m guessing they could feel the movement as well.
I grab the fabric of my dress around my thighs and lift the layers to keep Bella from practically suffocating. They continue, unphased. A euphoric cry escapes my lips when Bella presses two tantalizing fingers inside of me. My hand quickly covers my mouth to try and conceal the undeniable bliss of their hand working in tandem with their mouth. Each stroke of their fingers elicits a ragged moan from my throat and I fight so hard to remain quiet. Then, Bella’s mouth pulls off of my clit with an audible smack.
“Are you gonna be a good girl and come for me?” They ask earnestly and I nod rapidly. Anything to please them. The frantic nature of my response is satisfactory enough and they resume sucking on my swollen clit. I’m almost overstimulated from the pleasure of their mouth working with the rhythmic curling of their fingers. My moans increase tempo as I continue chasing the high. Bella beatifically bobs their head, moving faster to bring me closer to the edge.
Their fingers curve so perfectly against my g-spot and I fight the need to cry out in untamable pleasure. Stimulating the spot brings me closer and closer. I hold the collected fabric of my dress skirt in my left arm, and frantically reach down with my right. Bella masterfully maintains their pace, mouth and fingers working together while their other hand reaches up to interlace their fingers with mine. The thoughtful gesture is arousing in itself and I find my orgasm come to a peak.
I reside in this high for a moment before the waves of pleasure come crashing down over me. I finish with a strangled sob of gratification. Bella’s pace slows but they continue working me through the orgasm until the feeling passes. Once my clit stops pulsating, I feel them pull their mouth off of me with a most sinful pop. They leave our hands intertwined, but take the hand that was inside of me and lift the wet fingers to their lips, sucking off my remaining juices with great pleasure. I can’t help the laugh that escapes me, partly from disbelief but mostly from the residual high. They lock eyes with me and smile innocently, as if they hadn’t just sucked the life out of me in the best way possible.
Bella then wraps both arms around me and holds my body as tightly to their own as they can without hurting me. I then realize they’re doing this because my legs are trembling and they’re allowing me to use them as support. I’m grateful for the attentiveness and melt in their arms, wrapping my own around their shoulders. They hold me like this for a few minutes, and I smile knowing they would have remained there for hours if I’d asked them to.
“You were so good for me, pretty girl.” The praise is of the utmost comfort and I tuck my face into the crook of their neck. Placing soft, practically indebted kisses on their skin serves as a ‘thank you’ since I’m still very much recovering.
“I love being the only one to make you feel this good.”
794 notes · View notes
obsessedelusional · 1 year
Text
religious trauma but make it gay
masterlist
paring ✦ Bella Ramsey x fem!Reader
summary ✦ Bella was your childhood best friend. The one person you felt like you could tell anything. So you do exactly that, coming out to them when you two were still young. Only for Bella to push you away. What happens when they show up at your work several years later?
word count ✦ 3,500ish
authors note ✦ I’m so in love with Bella Ramsey and there’s barely nothing out there. So I took it upon myself lmao hope y’all enjoy!!! Also I’ve never written for a real person so I hope this ok request for Bella open bc I’m a simp rn
COMMENTS AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!
⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹
several years ago
“I think I’m gay.” You admit to your childhood best friend, Bella. The two of you sat in the school yard, parked under a tree.
“What?” She asks, forcing you to repeat the statement you’ve been trying to find the courage to say for months now.
“I think I like girls.” You further explain.
“That’s a sin. You can’t like girls.” Bella spits, bringing tears to you eyes.
“Bella-“ You say their name, letting the tears fall as they interrupt you.
“It’s a sickness, you can get help. My pastor will know exactly what to do.” She says, entirely seriously. Taking your hands in theirs, you quickly push them way. You can’t believe what your hearing.
“I don’t need help. I needed my friend to be there for me.” You stand up from the floor, overwhelmed by the entire situation.
“I don’t think-“ Bella hesitates.
“I don’t think we can be friends anymore.” Her words tremble like their unsure as they come out.
“I knew you were religious but this takes it to a whole another level.” You croak before leaving Bella sat alone under that tree. Part of you thought they’d come back, apologize to you after some time passed. That never happened, ten years of friendship over because of you opened your mouth about your sexuality. At the time you regretted saying anything at all, wishing you had just kept it bottled up inside.
The worst part was when their mother called a couple weeks after the incident basically outing you, offering your mother her pastors number. To your surprise your mom politely declined, she accepted you fully for who you were. It was a bit awkward at first at home but eventually everything went back to normal. That summer you attended your first Pride Parade and felt so seen that the coming school year you came out publicly. Considering the two of you were in the same grade you still saw them around, although never speaking to them again.
After a few years Bella landed her first huge roll in Game of Thrones, leaving your guys hometown behind. You didn’t have to see her face around anymore. Part of you happy for them but sad you couldn’t be in their life to support them. Only to remember they never supported you when you need them most.
present day
It had been several years since you came out, now living your most authentic life. Since then you had a few relationships, nothing too serious. Normally only lasting a few months before breaking up. You had graduated high school, started college shortly after. You got into the college you’d been dreaming of and the major you always imagined yourself as. Your college was a few hours from your home town so you occasionally saw people from there at your part time job. A couple days a week you were a barista at this cute little coffee shop right on the corner of the busiest street.
“What can I get you?” You ask blindly, going through the motions of a transaction.
“Y/N?” The voice on the other side of the counter asks, causing you to look up from the cash register. Looking up you’re greeted by the girl who you hadn’t seen since that depressing day. The day you lost your best friend.
“I can’t believe you work here.” They say, their voice warm.
“Yup.” You say flatly.
“What can I get you?” You ask, trying to quicken this interaction.
“The film I’m working on is filming just down the street for the next few weeks. I’ve been trying to find you for years, you have like no social media.” They admit, completely disregarding your attempt to not make small talk.
“Can I get you something?” You asks again, uninterested in what they have to say.
“Damn I deserve that.” They sigh before muttering off their order and paying. He walks over to the pick up area and you start making their drink. Every time you look up from your work they’re already staring. You can’t help but look too, they’ve changed so much. You’ve seen things about them online and people from your home town loved to talk about the girl who made it big. Always asking, “Didn’t you used to be friends with Bella?”
Once you’re done with their drink, you walk over to where they stand and set their drink down on the counter.
“Y/N wait.” They plead before you can turn your back to them. Against your better judgment you stop, briefly making eye contact. Saying nothing but signaling with your eyes to speak.
“I’m so sorry. I know what I did was shitty. I haven’t stopped thinking about that day since. While I’m still in town I’d like to apologize better like take you out or something so we can talk.” They explain, almost rambling their words.
“I understand if you don’t want to but here’s my phone number. Consider giving me a call or a text or anything, please.” They smile reassuringly pleading with you one last time, passing you a small folded up paper. They leave the coffee shop, drink in hand. You catch your self watching them leave, mind wandering on what you’re gonna do with their number.
Part of you wants to throw it away. An even bigger part of you wants to find out what would happened if you contacted Bella. Maybe their viewpoints have changed, it’s the least you can hope for. Against your better judgement you slip the small piece of paper in your phone case, deciding you’ll worry about it later. The rest of the work day is slow, painfully slow. Nothing to keep your mind distracted from thinking about Bella.
“I should be good, if you’re ready to take off.” Your coworker speaks, disrupting your spiraling thoughts.
“Okay,” is all you can say before rushing to clock out. Grabbing your belongings and thanking your coworker before leaving.
Once home you reach for the folded up piece of paper that’s been living in your phone case all day. You hesitate for a few moments before finally mustering up the courage to open it. All that is reads is their phone number, nothing else. You’re not sure how long your sat there staring at the piece of paper but eventually you decide to just shoot them a text.
you: hey it’s y/n
You don’t hear anything back that night. You stay up later then normal stressing about the entire situation. Imagining that it was all some elaborate set up, Bella’s sat up laughing at how stupid you could be to think that they’d want apologize.
The next morning arrives, your alarm goes off bright and early. You have a long day of classes ahead of you. You rush getting ready, picking out the most basic clothes you own. Not it the mood to try, exhausted from the lack of sleep from Bella’s sudden return to your life.
“Girl you good?” A girl you had always been friendly towards in your nine am class asks. You can never remember her name.
“It’s it that obvious?” You let out an exasperated laugh.
“No offense. Your just usually all dolled up and suddenly you look not dolled up. You just look tired.” She laughs.
“Dolled up?” You ask, curiously. For the first time truly noticing the girl who’s always sat near you.
“Yeah you always got them eye lashes and stuff. Not that you don’t look cute today, you always look cute.” They explain poorly. You can’t help but laugh at their way to describe makeup.
“Too tired this morning. Thanks I think?” You smile, she smiles back before the professor walks in and starts class. For a brief moment you forget about the lack of response from Bella. Too busy thinking about the attractive person who low-key just flirted with you. Only for that to be quickly forgotten when your phone vibrates from your pocket. You slyly pull it out laying it flat on your desk, where the professor can’t see. It is Bella, you catch yourself smiling at her name popping up. Stopping yourself immediately from having that type of reaction.
Bella: hey sorry I didn’t respond sooner super late work day only to wake up even earlier to work some more but I have tomorrow off so can we please get together
You decide you’ll respond but make them wait, not nearly as long as you waited. But you’ll stick it to them, make them wait till your out of class. The rest of the period is spent mentally drafting your response. Are you really after all these years ready to meet up with Bella? Maybe.
When class is over you shove all your belongings your bag, rushing to leave so you can send your text. Only to be stopped by that girl from before.
“What class do you have next?” She asks.
“Uhm,” You have to think about it for a moment too distracted by the phone burning a hole in your pocket.
“English in Butcher Hall at one.” You blurt out once you can remember. Normally you either go back to your dorm, grab lunch or study in the library. Today you had planned on going back to your dorm, knowing you weren’t going to be capable of studying.
“Dope. You wanna get lunch or something? I don’t have class till 1 too.” They explain, a smile on their face.
“Oof,” You say aloud, regrettably. The laugh almost as if they’re confused.
“I totally would but I got stuff I have to do before my next class.” You explain, sort of lying. Unsure why your lying just so you can hurriedly respond to Bella.
“That’s fine. Another time maybe?” She asks.
“Yeah.” You smile before walking off, back to your dorm room. They wave goodbye as you leave. When your out of their reach, you pull your phone out and type your message.
you: tomorrow works, I have one class in the morning. I’ll be done around noon. After that is ok
bella: sounds good wanna grab lunch at one?
you: yeah
Bella responds in a short time, sending you the address of a restaurant you never heard of before. You decide not respond anymore, deciding that any talking that needs to be done can be done tomorrow.
You had woken up early enough to actually get ready today. Or “dolled up” as the girl from your class would say. Thankfully you didn’t have that class with her today, knowing you couldn’t handle that along with all that is already going on.
After class, you walk quickly back to you dorm. Using the hour you have to dress cuter, fixing up your makeup. Mentally preparing yourself for the conversation that is about to be had. You pull up the address Bella gave you and it’s a cute little Italian restaurant. That’s always been your favorite, for long as you can remember. You wonder for a moment if they remember or if it’s just a coincidence. The drive is short, too nervous to listen to music. Letting your inner dialogue fill the silence. You park near the front door, looking down at the clock on your dash and you have a few minutes to spear. You phone goes off and it’s Bella.
bella: I’m here just let the hostess know your here to see me
All of a sudden it all starts to feel real. Your going to be having lunch with Bella after several years of no contact after coming out to them. It’s not too late to back out, you think for a moment. You have too though, you’ve made it this far. It’s a quick walk from your car to the door, you let yourself in. Greeted by a girl at the hostess desk.
“Hello!” The hostess beams.
“Hi I’m here to meet with Bella.” You explain.
“Right this way,” She smiles grabbing a menu and leading you towards the back of the restaurant where it’s more secluded. Pass the view of the back of the hostess head you can see Bella sat, scrolling through their phone. The sight of them biting their nails, puts some of your worries at ease. Knowing that they’re just as nervous makes this a little easier. Bella looks up from their phone, smiling brightly at you when they notice you.
“You still like Italian?” They ask.
“Yeah I do.” You smile because they remembered.
“I’m so glad you actually showed up.” Bella says examining you.
“After what I did I always thought you’d want nothing to do with me forever.” They explain, you quickly notice them fiddling with the table cloth.
“I’m so sorry.” They say now with a bit of sadness to their voice. Your not entirely ready to forget what happened but the sight of them is tempting you to forgive them on the spot.
“You know you haven’t grown much?” You tease as an attempt to lighten the situation.
“What?” They ask confused.
“You’ve always been so short and that hasn’t changed. You’ve cut all your hair off, I like it.” You let out an awkward laugh.
“We’ll when everyone is old and looks old I’ll still look young.” They laugh, you can tell they’re finally beginning to relax.
“Plus in my line of work it’s a plus. I can continue to play younger roles as I age.” They explain. Which leads to you asking them what they’re in town filming for. The conversation begins to flow smoothly, smiles never leaving either of your faces. You two order and wait for the food to come over. When the conversation eventually lulls, Bella’s face is screaming like she has something she wants to say but can’t get it out. You eyes dart to their fingers that anxiously fidget with the utensils in from of them.
“It’s okay,” You reassure them resting your hand on theirs. You feel them relax under your touch.
“I’m gay.” They spit out.
“Really?” You ask.
“Which is why I reacted the way I did when you told me. I’ve always had feelings for… women. I was raised to believe that it was wrong. I struggled internalized homophobia for years only recently coming to terms with my sexuality. I was so scared at the time.” Bella admits, your hand still rests on theirs. They look to you like they’re waiting for a response.
“I forgive you.” You respond.
“I would of done this sooner. Your just not the easiest person to find.”
“It’s fine Bella. Just promise we’ll stay in touch now, okay?”
“I promise.”
They did exactly that. For the rest of their time in town, when ever your schedules aligned you two we’re together. Or they would find any excuse to leave set and stop by for a quick visit when you were working. Getting to know each other all over again, you couldn’t help it forming a crush on them. They made you so happy, the most comfortable you felt around someone in forever. You finally got your Bella back.
Only for her to have to leave you after a few weeks. Her film was moving locations so they’d be several hours away. It was only for a month but you were so torn up about it. They had promised as soon as that month was over, they’d be back in your home town and visiting you as much as possible.
It was a bit awkward when that girl form your class kept making the moves on you. One day your finally let them down gently. It was entirely because of the slight chance with Bella you thought you might have.
You finally got your Bella back only to have separate again. This time though, you were friends. That month was spent on face time calls when ever you got the chance. Always waking up to good morning texts and not going to sleep until you two had a chance to talk on the phone. You can’t remember the last time you had smiled so much. Always checking you phone, biggest smile on your lips. All because of Bella.
one month later
“I missed you.” Bella says, wrapping you in a hug. Their head resting in your shoulder, breathing in your aroma.
“I missed you, more.” You tease. You feel them laugh in your embrace before pulling away.
“I may have got me an air bnb for a week or so.”
“Really? I thought this was just a weekend kind of thing.” You say, biting your lip trying your best not to smile too hard. Originally you couldn’t help but be upset when Bella flight was delayed, their 10 am arrival turned into 5 pm. You had thought half your time with them was wasted.
“We’ll you were wrong.”
“I’m glad.” You laugh, following them to your car. Helping them load their luggage. Bella pulls up her maps app and types in the location of the air bnb. You drive, listening to Bella talk about everything that had happened in the last month of filming.
“You’re so cute when you talk about your job.” You respond, letting the word cute slip out.
“What do you mean?” They ask.
“You’re cute. Do I really need to elaborate?”
“I guess not.” They smile. The rest of the car ride is filled with a comfortable silence.
Eventually you two arrive at their temporary home for the week or so. You help Bella unload and follow them to the door, watching as they unlock the lock box that has the house key inside. They open the door for you, you walk inside.
“Wow this place is so nice.” You awe at the beauty of the living room.
“You think this is nice? Come look at the back yard.” Bella leads you to the back yard, it’s so beautiful. Plants everywhere and jacuzzi, wishing suddenly you had brought a swim suit.
“Wow.” You say aloud, noticing the large hanging chair. Big enough for multiple people. It hangs over the deck, with the perfect view of the nature behind the house. Without hesitation you climb into the hanging chair, Bella watches you amused. You let out a screech when it move from your weight. Eventually you fall on your back, looking up at the stars. Bella continues to watch you, enjoying the view of you enjoying yourself.
“Are you not going to join me?” You speak up.
“I guess so.” You laugh at their attempt to climb up, their attempt causing it to swing and sends Bella landing closer to you than they had originally intended. When you didn’t pull away, they didn’t either. The two of you, sit in silence staring up at the starry sky. Eventually Bella is the one to break the silence.
“Can I be honest with you?”
“Of course.” You respond, sitting up on your elbows so you can see them better. They begin speaking, not daring to look at you.
“I said I knew Ialways had feelings for women. Like I always knew I liked women. The truth is I had feelings for you. When you said you were gay, I freaked out because my feelings for you could of become a reality. I think that’s the real reason I pushed you away. I knew I couldn’t be in your life as just a friend but also that I wasn’t ready to be out. I don’t if that makes sense and know I’m rambling. I’m sorry.” Bella finally gains the courage to look at you after their words.
“It’s okay.” You smile, biting you lip. Thinking this is the moment you’ve been waiting for.
“So you’re not mad at me?” Bella asks.
“Not at all. The real question though, are those feelings still there?” You ask, curiously. Your tone a little flirty.
“They’ve always been there. Bumping into you only reignited them. Then you actually said yes to meeting up with me, I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t believe it.”
“Believe it.” You laugh before closing the space between you two. Letting your lips kiss Bella’s for the first time. It takes them a moment to fully register what’s happening, shortly kissing you back. Their hands reach for your head pulling you in closer. You’re the one to pull away, needing to catch your breath. That only lasts a few moments before they’re the one initiate the second kiss. The two of you spend a few hours on the hanging chair. Kissing, laughing and talking about anything and everything. Only going inside because it began to rain. That night you guys stayed up so late, some time around 3am Bella asked you to be their girlfriend. You said yes.
476 notes · View notes
mrtwizz · 1 year
Text
memories - bella ramsey
Pairing: Bella Ramsey x fem reader
Summary- Bella breaks up with you and you stay friends, what happens when they come crawling back to you after realizing they still love you?
Warnings: angst, drinking to ignore problems, not learning from mistakes, possibly accidentally toxic!Bella? Sorry yall 
Word Count: 1.3k
they/them pronouns used for Bella :)
Note- i wrote this instead of my research paper teehee
bella ramsey masterlist
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⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ˚。 ⋆
Your blood ran cold, and it felt as though they had grabbed your heart from its rightful place in your chest, squeezed it until it was empty, and then handed it back to you. 
The two of you were standing in your shared apartment when they told you they wanted to break up. Tears filled Bella’s eyes as they explained that they needed to work on their mental health. You stared past them and at the wall behind them as they spoke, knowing if you looked at them you would fall to the ground hysterically sobbing, “Okay.” 
The tears finally escaped, and you were quick to wipe them away with your sleeve, “I’m going to grab a few things, and go to Jamie’s. I’ll be back sometime to get the rest of my stuff.”
 You gave them a sad smile before heading to the bedroom that the two of you had shared for over a year now. You locked the door behind you before sitting against it, hysterically sobbing. Bella swears their heart breaks at the sounds of your sobs, wanting nothing more than to rush to your side and comfort you. But they know they can’t, and that they’re the reason for your tears. 
Bella was sitting on the couch when you walked out of the bedroom twenty minutes later, eyes and face puffy from crying. You would laugh to Jamie later about how dramatic the mascara running down your cheeks was, but it only broke Bella’s heart more. This was their fault. 
“I’ll text you before I come to grab my things.” You said, looking at the ground. 
At first it was hard for you to talk to Bella, and you had to distance yourself. It didn’t make you stop loving them, but it made it easier for you to push the feelings down. You came to the conclusion that you would probably love them until you died, but at some point the two of you began talking like normal again. 
It had been a few weeks before you saw them in person again, they came to the apartment that you shared with Jamie. They looked slightly disheveled and like they hadn’t slept in days. 
 “Hey Bells, what’s up?” 
“I just want to talk.” They start, moving further inside. 
“Okay, then let's talk.” You move to the kitchen to grab a cup of water, offering them one as well. 
“I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks now, and I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what I did, that was really shitty of me. I should have just talked to you, and worked things out with you instead of shutting you out and hurting you the way I did. And I understand completely if you can never forgive me, but I just wanted to get it off my chest.” Tears form in Bella’s eyes and they wipe them away before they can fall. 
“Bella, it’s okay. I understand, we all make stupid decisions. But it’s okay, really. No hard feelings.” You lie through your teeth, it was not all okay. You weren’t mad at them, truly you weren’t. But you were trying to heal and now all of those wounds have burst back open.
“Are you sure?” They weren’t fully sure that they believed you, but they wanted to so bad that they let the words feel like the whole truth. 
You give them your best fake smile, “Of course Bells, I could never stay mad at you.” 
But that had been nearly two months ago, and the wounds wouldn’t heal, they were always around you. Hugging you, holding your hands, putting an arm around you on the couch and pulling you closer. 
You let yourself bask in those moments, and then you would cry yourself to sleep that night. You wanted to tell Bella to fuck off, and to stop playing with your emotions like that. 
You had been sitting on the couch in the apartment you used to share with Bella, they were having a small gathering with friends. And to no surprise, Bella was sitting right next to you, their arm around your shoulders as they laughed with the group of friends. 
You blamed your next actions on the fact that you had been drinking, maybe more than you should have, but you were trying to ignore the ache in your chest. It still felt as though Bella held your heart in their beautiful hands and crushed it whenever they felt like it. 
The emotions were suffocating, and you were drowning in your own thoughts. And the alcohol was enough to break the dam, so you lashed out. 
“Why do you do this?” You suddenly ask, turning to Bella who had pulled you even closer. 
“Do what?” They asked, confused by your question. 
You shoved yourself off of them, “This! You’re so touchy feely, you text me at three in the morning about all of your thoughts. You invite me out to dinner only for it to just be the two of us, you remember everything I’ve ever told you.”
You can feel your face heat up and tears fill your eyes, but choose to ignore them, “You look at me with those beautiful brown eyes and say stupid shit you don’t mean like ‘I love you’. No Bella, you don’t fucking love me. You broke up with me, remember? You told me that you couldn’t handle a relationship right now, but what the fuck is going on here? Because everyone, including me, is confused about what is going on between the two of us. Do you just want all of the conveniences of a relationship without the label? The commitment? Well fuck that Bella, and fuck you too.” 
“I’m sick of the way you have ruined my life, and I’m even more sick of the way I want you more than anything in this whole world. I hate you, and I hate the way I love you.” You finish your rant, unaware if any of it was coherent. 
All you know is that Bella was too shocked at your outburst to respond. 
“Jamie, can we leave please?” You ask, getting up from the couch. 
You hadn’t spoken to Bella in almost a week, not since your outburst. They had texted you, and left a few voice mails. At first they were confused, then they were angry at you for acting that way. But finally they were heartbroken, it had taken you yelling at them for it to get into their thick skull that they had been awful to you, but they still wanted you. 
You on the other hand were thinking about how fucking embarassed you were, you still coulndt’ believe the way you acted. You had screamed at them, and definitely ruined the little relationship you had left. 
You were broken from your thoughts when you heard someone knocking on your door, for a moment you wondered if it was Jamie but she said she wasn’t going to be back until the morning. Cautiously you made your way to the front door, looking out the peephole, only to see Bella standing there, soaked in water from the rain. You quickly unlocked and opened the door.
“I’m so sorry for the way I screamed at you-” You had started before they cut you off by holding your face with their hands cold from the rain. 
“No, Y/n I’m sorry. I have fucked you over more than once now, I apologised and I just expected you to just forgive everything. I just assumed that it was okay, and it could go back to the way it was. But I was wrong, but you were wrong too.” Their words took you by surprise. 
“Huh?” 
“I do love you, Y/n. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else. And I want you, I want you in every sense of the word. Please, give me another chance. I’ll right all of my wrongs. I promise you. I love you, and can’t lose you again.” Bella says, resting their forehead against yours. 
“Okay, but I’m serious Bella. I will kick you to the curb, maybe literally.” You joke and they laugh before placing a soft kiss on your lips. 
Maybe everything will be okay after all, and they won’t have to just be a memory.
⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ˚。 ⋆
thank you for reading lovelies, feedback is greatly appreciated <3
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loohser · 9 months
Text
Pedro is The New Cupid pt 2
You woke up the next morning to your phone ringing. You looked at your phone and saw that it was Pedro.
“Good Morning sleeping beauty.” 
“Ugh, what do you want?” You lazily rubbed your eyes. 
“Hey! That's no way to talk to your best brother in the world.” 
“You’re my only brother.” You grumbled. 
You hear a laugh in the background of the call on his side. “Well yeah but that’s besides the point. The point is that you need to wake up and get ready. We’re on the way.” 
“Okay okay geez, by the way I’m basically almost done getting ready you freak. Also, who’s we?” You got up from the bed and started walking towards the restroom. 
“Stop lying, I know you just woke up. I can tell by your voice. And, it’s uhh…a surprise.” He looks back at Bella. “A good surprise.” 
You turn on the shower, “Alright well I’m about to hop in the shower so pick up some breakfast on the way yeah? I might be a minute.” 
He laughs, “See? I totally knew you just woke up. I’ll try to find something you’ll like. Be there in 40?” 
You sigh, “I’ll see what I can do.” You hung up the phone and started getting ready. 
—------------
By the time you got out of the shower and got dressed, Pedro was calling you saying that the car was ready outside. You pulled on your shoes and left your hotel. When you walked up to the car Pedro got out and opened the door for you. 
“Wow how kind. Is this your way of telling me that I have to pay you back for breakfast?” You smiled at him. 
Pedro walked around the car and got into the driver seat. “No I’m not gonna make you pay, you brat. I just wanted to be nice.” 
You hummed, “It really does sound like you're buttering me up here. What did you do? Actually, don’t tell me, I’m too scared to find out.” You looked away. 
“Well you're gonna find out soon enough.” 
You turned and looked at him, “huh?”
“Turn around.” He said. 
You froze. You were too scared to turn around and look because you had a feeling that he brought Bella. He laughs at your reaction. “Oh cmon, don’t be a loser, just look.” 
You finally turned your head to look in the backseat. You were right, it was none other than Bella fucking Ramsey staring back at you. “Holy shit.” You broke the silence. 
Bella immediately started laughing. You covered your mouth and started apologizing. “I’m sorry, what I meant to say is that it’s nice to meet you!” 
“No no it’s completely fine! I cuss all the time. Nothing new darling.” 
“Darling?” Pedro whispered to himself. 
You blushed. Oh my goodness, this could not be happening right now. This is most definitely a dream. 
“I’m glad we finally met. Pedro really loves you and said good things.” 
You hummed, “Did he tell you to say that?” You side eyed Pedro. 
Bella laughed, “I told you she wouldn’t believe me!” 
You slapped his arm. “I knew you would do this freak!” 
“Alright alright! I did not bring you here so you and Bella could tag team me! This is so unfair.” He grumbled. 
Bella and you start laughing. You admired them while they laughed. They are the most perfect human being you have ever met. You’re actually really happy that Pedro snuck Bella here. Being in their presence was enough to bring a smile to your face. “What do you think?” 
“Huh?” You looked back at Pedro. 
He smirks. “I said, where should we go first? Do you want to go to a museum or have a look at set?” 
You gasped at him, “Is that even a question? I’m dying to see where y’all film!” Bella laughs. “Yeah Pedro, my goodness, that’s not even up for debate.” 
Pedro rolled his eyes, “yeah yeah. Seriously you two have got to stop ganging up on me. I don’t think I can take it.” 
You shrugged your shoulders. “Get used to it old man, we’re only gonna get worse.” 
—----------------------------
You three made it to set and Bella immediately took you to their trailer. We step inside. “And this is where the magic happens.” They smile. 
You look around their trailer. “Mm, smells good in here Bella. I approve.” You nod your head. 
Bella blushes, “Yeah? I do try to be a decent human and not leave a trail of stink everywhere I go.” They joke. 
“Wow, that’s so kind of you.” You laugh. 
Bella looks around. “Ya know, Pedro really does talk about you a lot. He really loves you.” 
You look away and smile, “Yeah? I always knew that old man has a soft spot for me.” 
You could feel them staring at you. “You’re really pretty.” They confess. You still, “Yeah?” 
“Yeah.” You both stare at each other for a bit. It felt like you both wanted to say something. You cleared your throat. “Um, thanks Bella. You’re too sweet, really.” They chuckle, “thanks. I do try my best.” You sit down on the couch. “So, what do you do when you're not filming? Just chill in here?” They move to sit beside you. “Pretty much. I have my guitar here so I don’t get bored. Also, I like to read.” 
“Hey, um has Pedro mentioned something about me to you?”
They look at you confused, “Like what?” You breathed out a sigh of relief. “Never mind, I suppose he was just teasing me.” 
“Wait, he did mention something to me.” You raised your eyebrows. Signaling them to continue. 
“Something about you having a crush?” Your mouth dropped open. “Yeah, that’s all though, he didn’t tell me who. Something about being locked in the family secret. Which I understand you know, a secret is a secret.” They ramble. “But I do hope that you trust me enough one day to tell me.” They smile. 
God they are so cute. You couldn’t believe that they didn’t know. You also made a mental note to absolutely give Pedro shit for this. You felt kinda embarrassed. You shyly looked away from them. “I can’t believe he said something.” 
Bella felt bad. They didn’t know that telling you the truth would make you feel like this. Bella observed you for a second. You were looking down at the ground. Bella thought you were the most beautiful person ever. They can’t deny the feeling of jealousy that resides in them whenever Pedro mentioned that you have a crush. Bella knew that it was silly considering that they haven’t met, but now that they have met, Bella didn’t like the idea of you being with anyone other than them. 
Bella put their hand on your thigh, “Hey it’s alright. We’re friends. I’m not going to make fun of you or anything.” They chuckle. “Now c'mon, let’s go explore the set, yeah?” Bella gives you their hand.
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insxghtt · 1 year
Text
together — bella ramsey x latina!reader
You knew that no matter what, they would always be there for you.
warnings: anxiety, panic attack, xenophobia, hurt/comfort, i used they/them pronouns for bella
this was based on these requests: "omg pls write a bella blurb or somethin about reader and her being a couple and then bella has to help the reader through a panic attack. I just feel like they would be so helpful and kind and caring" / "reader’s first time going to an event with bella and they get overwhelmed. comfort ensues!!" and also the fact that i needed something with latina!reader. english is not my first language.
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You played Dina on the second season of The Last of Us and that was how you met your girlfriend, Bella. With this job, many opportunities showed up and you were grateful for that, but being a public figure was difficult sometimes. 
You were never ashamed of who you were. You knew you had an accent, for example, and you were proud of it. It never stopped you from doing your job. Playing Dina, you had to work on it to make it disappear, of course, just like Bella did too. That was the thing, Bella’s accent never seemed to bother anyone, but just because you were latina, people were hating on you a lot. 
The second season was yet to be released and, honestly, the last few months were a nightmare. People saw your interviews and realized you were not American. The public was being so mean, telling you that you would ruin the character with your accent and that you didn’t look like Dina from the game. 
Bella was always there for you. They tried to make you feel better, saying that people did the same thing to them and that it would stop when the public realized that you did an incredible job. You did your best to listen to her, but your anxiety was killing you. 
When the premiere finally arrived, you were very hesitant to show up. You knew you had to go, Craig told you how important it was, but the anxiety was so big that you felt like your heart was going to explode. So, Bella showed up at your house and helped you get ready. He held your hand while they did your makeup and helped you pick your outfit. The way Bella acted made you forget about all the hate and gave you the confidence you needed. 
You and Bella arrived together and they were not ashamed of holding your hand the entire time. Your relationship was not public yet, but it wasn’t like the two of you were trying to hide anything. You just never had the chance to confirm it, especially because you were avoiding giving interviews because of your mental health.
It was not what you expected. People were being kind, actually, so as the time went by and after a few drinks, you were finally feeling confident enough to give some interviews. Bella was next to you as always and the interviewer seemed to be a nice person.
“So, you’re playing Dina”, she started. “I believe this is the biggest project you’ve ever been in, isn’t it?”
“Yes, definitely.”
“How was it? You know, working with these huge people. Were you nervous?”
“I was, the first day I was so scared”, you laughed and turned to Bella. “Do you remember?”
“Oh, yeah, I was the first person to talk to you, I guess”, they said and you nodded. “You were blushing all the time.”
“I hope I'm not crossing any lines here by asking this, but there’s rumors saying that you two are, like…”
“Dating?”, you completed the sentence and she agreed.
“Well, can you blame me for falling in love? Look at her”, Bella said and pointed at you. “She’s irresistible.”
“Oh, shut up!”, you laughed.
“You guys are so cute!”, the interviewer said. “But, back to Dina…”
As she was speaking, one voice in the middle of the crowd yelled your name.
“Go back to your country!”, he yelled.
Suddenly, everything around you just disappeared. It was getting hard to breathe, you were feeling dizzy and sick and your heart was beating so fast that you felt like it would come out of your chest at any moment. A security guard walked the man out of the event and Bella was the first one to realize your reaction.
Bella grabbed your hand and said something to the interviewer that you simply did not hear. They guided you to the bathroom and helped you sit on the sink. Every second that passed, the harder it got for you to breathe, so Bella stood in front of you and grabbed your hands. They put one of your hands on your stomach and the other one on theirs.
“Breathe with me, okay?”, they said calmly.
Bella breathed in and out, counting to six with you. They made sure that you were feeling their breathing while they looked directly into your eyes each time. Slowly, your breath started to go back to normal and your heart stopped beating so fast. You were feeling more calm, but soon the shame hit you and tears formed in the corner of your eyes.
“It’s okay”, Bella whispered, holding your face.
“Did they see it?”, maybe it was stupid, but you didn’t want the public to know about that fragile moment.
“No, you did very well.”
You nodded and hugged their waist, opening your legs so they could get closer to you. They wrapped you around their arms and you closed your eyes, the smell of their perfume felt like home..
“Fuck”, you whispered, hiding your face in the curve of their neck. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?”
“I don’t know.”
“Hey”, they pulled away to look at you and held your cheeks. “I’m so proud of you. You could’ve given up and stayed at home today, but you’re here.”
“Stop…”
“No, it’s the truth. That guy was just a racist, xenophobic son of a bitch.”
“I know”.
“And you are the most beautiful, strong, talented woman I’ve ever met. Don’t let someone like him ruin your night.”
You smiled watching how Bella’s eyes shined when they talked about you.
“Do you feel like you can stay? If you want to, I’ll take you home and we can watch a movie.”
“I don’t know. What if I stay and it happens again?”, you asked.
“If it happens again, I’ll be here with you again and we will get through it again. Together.”
Bella gave you a kiss on the lips. You felt like the luckiest person on the planet because you knew that those words were true. It made you feel safe. So, you touched their hair and watched as they closed their eyes, enjoying your touch.
“Okay, let’s go give some interviews then”, you whispered.
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lilpotatjj · 11 months
Note
hi! I was wondering if you can write a fic bellaxfem!reader where they are about to have sex for the first time after meeting a couple weeks before and fem!reader is nervous to tell Bella she doesn't enjoy penetrative sex
A/N: I rlly don't know if this is what u wanted so here u go. Enjoy and sry when it's too short. Will write soon more longer ones.
Warning: mention of sexual things in any way
Masterlist
☆We find a way☆
It's been weeks since you and Bella started dating. Everything is very relaxed and as much as possible so that the public hardly gets wind of it.
The two of you chilling out as usual on one of these evenings in cinema.
"The film was very interesting. The views of the protagonist were super heartwarming. There should be more talk about LGBTQ. " You grin broadly and excitedly.
"Yes, I agree with you. They were really cute together" Bella smiles sweetly at you and unlocks the door to their flat.
"Are you tired?" Bella can't take their eyes off you. "A little and you?" you look at them after you have freed yourself from your jacket and shoes, sit down on the bed.
"Not really" Bella grips the back of their neck and shrugs. "I have an idea" they saucily sits down next to you and starts to kiss you softly. You smirk into the kiss and go for it when Bella suddenly stops only to continue kissing your neck just as tenderly.
"Ah...that...that tickles" you lean back a little to avoid them but they just grins cheekily and lays over you, arms resting on the left and right of your head them looks down at you.
"I want to make you so happy" Bella looks at you a bit fuzzy.
"I...-" Before you can get a word in, they kisses your neck again and slowly works their way down. The whole thing makes your body tingle but you feel too uncomfortable with the thought of just sleeping with them.
"Bella stop!" A little too abruptly, you push them away and sit up, averted from their gaze. You are too embarrassed to bring up the subject.
"Sorry...I didn't mean to push you. I've given you a lot of time...thought maybe now would be the right time after all these weeks..." Bella disappointed in herself looks to the floor and gives you space.
"That...no you didn't. You're right. It's not that I don't like you but...I..." you try to collect the words in your head.
Bella listens to you eagerly and trustingly. "I just don't like in-out stories...no matter if sextoy or finger. It just doesn't turn me on" your cheeks turn bright red and you don't dare look at them.
"So you mean that won't make you explode?" Bella sits down next to you and looks at you.
"N...not really no..." your eyes meet. "It's ok. We can try lots of other things if you want. I'm sure there'll be something you'll enjoy" They speaks to you, completely serious and deeply relaxed "I'm glad you told me". Bella smiles understandingly.
"We can start very slowly if you want and you guide me." Bella kisses you briefly and smiles. "sounds good"
"I'll make you scream" They says as she leans over you again.
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pedrosbestie · 1 year
Text
What about me?
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Warnings: Clickers, talks of death, insecurities about not being enough, very few curses. Enjoy🫶🏻🫶🏻
You watch as a clicker reaches Ellie, you don't have a weapon since Joel won't let you. Joel is fighting off his own clicker and you freeze. Joel is seething. Angst ensues.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You met Ellie and Joel a few months ago, you were still looking for Joels brother, you have yet to find him. When you first met Joel and Ellie, you were alone wandering from place to place, trying to survive after your group abandoned you. Ellie immediately warmed up to you, trusting you and your warmth. Even though it's unlike her, she was happy to have a person in her life. Joel, however, didn't warm up quite as fast, but after a while he started to trust you. You loved them both, even though you had a feeling Joel didn't feel as passionately about you as he did Ellie. You pushed that feeling away even though it tugged at your heart.
So you watch as a clicker reaches Ellie. You don't have a weapon since Joel won't let you. Joel is fighting off his own clicker, and you freeze. You freeze. You don't know what to do. You're scared, only for their lives, not your own. They are your everything and you don't care if you die, you would rather die than live in a world without them. You want to help, but how? You begged Joel to give you a weapon but he wouldn't budge. While all these thoughts race through your head, Joel finally kills the clicker on top of him and then shoots the clicker on top of Ellie multiple times. Finally, the clicker dies.
You watch them catch their breaths, not saying a word but your hearts racing. "What were you thinking!" Joel shouts at you. You don't say a word, your lip trembles and dread fills you. "What's wrong with you" he continues, you don't understand, is he mad at you? Why? You didn't have a weapon and you're not immune. How could you possibly have helped without getting yourself killed or infected?. "You're so fucking selfish, just standing there watching Ellie almost get killed", your eyes fill with tears as you go to try and explain yourself, "I-" you start but he interrupts you, "You what? Don't care about anyone but yourself?" He shouts. "Joel stop!" Ellie tries, but it doesn't stop him. "Joel, please, she didn't have a weapon" Ellie pleads.
"Ellie could have died" Joel shouts.
There. There it is. The confirmation of your insecurities, he doesn't care about you, at least not as much as he cares about Ellie. Your heart sinks. "I could have" you whisper, "You could have what?" Joel asks confused but still furious. "I could have died too" you finally muster out. "What" Joel asks, gaze softening slightly. "I could have fucking died too, but you don't care, I'm not Ellie, so why would you care?". "Please don't say that" Ellie says, pleading with you, she doesn't want you to feel that way, of course Joel cares just as much about you. "Huh, Joel. What about me?" you ask as you feel a tear running down your cheek, your heart breaks.
Joel still stares at you with incredibly complex frustration. When he doesn't say anything else, you just nod, tears running down your cheeks. You turn around, small sobs escaping. You start walking in the direction you were walking in before you got attacked.
They walk behind you, everyone is silent and you haven't decided if you will continue this journey with them. The sadness is eating at you but at least now you know, you know that you don't measure up to Ellie and you never will. The worst part is that you weren't sad or scared that you almost died. You were heartbroken because Joel didn't care. You love them, and you don't blame Ellie for anything, but it hurts to know you're not good enough.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Tell me if you want part two besties and of course you can give me inspos and critique 🫶🏻🫶🏻
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sunlightellies · 1 year
Text
"deal."
→ masterlist
→ pairing: Bella ramsey x reader
→ genre: notfamous!bella, hospital!au, angst, melancholic, fluff if you squint, gn!reader
→ tags/warnings: mentions of dying and death, do not read if you get triggered by death. angst!!! slowburn-ish (takes a while until the reader is introduced. sorry peeps.). cursewords. a friend of bella's is not so nice:(
→ word count: 8k+
→ proofread? sorryy no
→ a/n: i saw someone say they wish there were more angst fics with Bella and as an angst lover myself i couldn’t help but to write some. warning this got way out of hand so this is like, SAD, sad. if you like reading heartbreaking things and enjoys to suffer like me tho then this will be perfect for you! also i know this isn’t a very accurate fic,, but i did it for the sake of great fanfiction, so don’t be mad. i hope you all will like it anyway!
(i try to stick with the same pronouns for Bella in fic writing but sometimes i slip up as i use any pronouns for them when casually talking about them; in this fic i’ll mainly use they/them for Bella, but excuse me if i use another pronoun as well lol.)
→ summary: While you sat on the bus on your way home thinking about Bella, Bella was laying in their hospital bed at the same time thinking about you. At this time neither of you knew how inseparable you two were eventually gonna become. Maybe running in the corridor at a hospital is sometimes a good thing?
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It was another regular Thursday for Bella. They were on their way home from the television workshop while Phoebe Bridgers was playing in their earbuds. Walking in pace to the music and taking a left turn right at that cozy café they always thinks about visiting, but still never does. They could see the front of his gray apartment building, walking a little faster as they wanted to get home as soon as possible.
Bella yanks up the door as soon as they unlock it. “Jojo, Skipper!” The two pets came running at the sound of Bella. Their friend and roommate Vera owned the two pets together with Bella. Vera asked Bella if they could feed the cats before they left the television workshop since Vera wanted to stay and practice a little longer. “So.. are you hungry?” Dragging out the sentence they look at the two pets with an eyebrow raised. Jojo answers with a loud meow. “Me too Jojo, me too.” Bella chuckles to themselves while putting their bag down and taking off their shoes. They walk into their kitchen and take a painkiller. They’ve had this weird problem with headaches recently, so taking medicine for headaches has become a daily routine for them every night. Bella didn’t think much about it, they were very active, studying and doing theater, which both took a lot of energy so they thought their headaches were due to some kind of stress and that it was somewhat reasonable.
A few weeks later Bella was eating by themselves after practice and they thought about trying to drink more water and start taking some vitamins. The headaches were something they could live with before. But as the weeks had gone by they had gotten worse and on top of that they had gotten unusually tired and were often feeling nauseous. Bella believed that it might have to do with some kind of lack of vitamins.
The semester was slowly coming to an end and Bella had recently found out they got into LAMDA (London Academy of Music and Dramatic arts) to pursue performing arts. It was a huge achievement for them. They had celebrated with their friends the night they found out, and now a few weeks later he was beginning to pack their things for college. Bella sat down on their bed looking at all the boxes, trying to decide where to start. They had written down on all the boxes what should go in them, to keep things organized. Although Bella had trouble reading on the boxes due to their blurry vision. 
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“Have you had that eye exam that you were talking about a few days ago?” Isaac took a sip of his coffee as he was looking at Bella while waiting for an answer. Isaac was a close friend of his, they had been doing theater together for years. Isaac was part of a group of people at the television workshop that Bella always practiced with and some of them also go to LAMDA. They all were really close and had been for years. Today Bella was only hanging out with Isaac though. 
“I went there and got my eyes checked but it was really weird. She kept asking me questions. She started with headaches and I get that, it’s somewhat logical she’s asking me about that, it’s normal to get headaches while trying to see, you know?” Isaac nodded. Bella took a deep sigh and continued,
“But then she kept asking if I’ve had problems with nausea or vomiting, feeling confused while doing everyday things and having difficulty with balance.” Bella paused to take a sip of their tea. 
“Did you tell her yes? Because you know I’ve seen you struggling both in school and at practice lately. You’re a really good student Bella, and an amazing actor. I mean you just got into LAMDA dude. If you told her no, I’m gonna be disappointed because obviously something is going on with you, and you need help. We’ve all been telling you to seek help from a doctor but you’re too stubborn.” Isaac was looking at Bella while putting a hand on their shoulder, “Me and the others are really worried about you. I know you haven’t exactly gone into details or talked alot about what’s happening but don’t think that we’re not noticing that you’re in pain and having difficulties.” 
Isaac who was usually a very upbeat guy was for once very serious. Bella felt kinda embarrassed and kept looking down on their cup while stirring it with their spoon. “I told her yes when she asked me about it, and then she didn’t say anything more than that I should book a doctor’s appointment and check it out. So I did.” Bella kept staring at his tea while hearing Isaac ramble on about ‘he’s been telling me to go to the doctor for weeks and how can I even listen to a random woman immediately like that and not my friends’.
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Bella was sitting outside the doctor's office with Brianna and Isaac at their side. Bella didn’t like going to the doctor, but they knew they had to. They weren't feeling well and they had started to get worried. He was a little bit nervous, so Brianna and Isaac offered to come with him as support.
“Bella Ramsey?” a woman's voice sounded out. Bella stood up and Brianna gave Bella a reassuring smile before they followed the woman. They went into her office and sat down in one of the chairs. The doctor was looking at some journals in her computer before turning to Bella and smiling. “Hi Bella. We talked on the phone a few days ago. Do you remember?” It felt weird the way she said that, if they could remember it. Of course they could. Not the whole conversation, but parts of it. Bella decided to not put much thought into it and just simply answered, “Yes, I do.” The doctor continued to smile at them and said while nodding, “That’s great. So we both know why you are here?” Bella nodded and then they kept talking about their problems for a while. She was asking questions about how it affected their everyday life, how school was going, what symptoms they were having and the progress of them and if they had gotten any more since he called. 
They talked for a while and she did some tests on them regarding balance, memory, sensory and finally a blood test. “Okay Bella, we are done for today. I’ve scheduled an MRI for you in a few days, please don’t forget. We’ll call you a day before about preparations. Bring a close one if you feel scared or nervous.” Bella nodded and took the paper the doctor handed them and got up from the chair they sat on. Bella shook hands with the doctor before they turned around and walked out the door.
Isaac and Brianna stood up as soon as they came back into the waiting room. “So what did she say?!” Isaac looked nervously at Bella. “Nothing. She asked me some questions and did some tests, and then just said that she scheduled an MRI for me. I don’t know what for.” Their hands were fiddling with the paper they got before they handed it over to Brianna. Brianna read on the appointment paper while Isaac whispered, “damn, this may be worse than we thought.” Brianna hit him in the arm and looked at him. “You dumbass, don’t say that! It’s just an MRI!” Isaac said a quiet ‘sorry’ while rubbing his arm where Brianna hit him.
All three of them were quiet on the way to the television workshop. No one really knew what to say. “Maybe we should google your symptoms?” Isaac finally spoke up. “Stop saying dumb ass things Isaac, or else I’m gonna get that headache soon too.” Brianna paused before talking again, “We all know that googling your symptoms is just gonna scare everyone more. We all know except Isaac.” After that it went quiet again and everyone kept walking slowly to the television workshop to meet up with the rest of the group. Isaac said it may be worse than we thought and Brianna said it’s just an MRI to calm them down, especially Bella, and it’s normal to get an MRI sure, but a doctor would definitely not schedule an MRI if the problem was a loss of vitamins. Bella’s thoughts were racing with different scenarios. They knew it probably wasn’t a big deal, but they were still scared. 
“Hey guys!” Isaac opened the door to the studio while Bella and Brianna came shortly after. A few voices were heard from all across the room that greeted the three people entering. “How did it go at the doctor’s office?” A guy with blonde hair spoke up. That was Asher. He’s a great actor, but an even greater comedian, although Bella always thought Martha was the funniest one in the group. “It was fine, nothing special, she scheduled an MRI for me.” Bella said back to him while going up to hug him, but Asher took a step back. “An MRI? Why?” Asher looked puzzled. “Well I obviously need one. Why else?” The practice started but Bella had to sit on the side most of the time. Today the dizziness and nausea was really bad. They couldn’t even stand up straight and even if they were stubborn enough to keep trying, their friends told them to sit down. They gave Bella a look of pity before going back to practicing.
That night when Bella came home they went right to bed. They were so exhausted. Their mind was blank. Not a single thought. They sat down on their bed and took a deep breath and then began to change their clothes and then just threw them on the floor before sliding under the covers. After a few minutes of trying to sleep, the thoughts came running back like a herd of horses. They started thinking about what will happen, what has happened to them. They knew it was more than just an MRI, more than what Brianna had said to calm their nerves. Bella wasn’t stupid after all, they didn’t need google to know what their symptoms could be.
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A few weeks have gone by, and Bella’s parents are in town to help them and be there as support when they’re going to the doctor to find out the results of his MRI scan. They have been worried sick over the last few months, trying to talk to Bella about it but only hearing from their friends about how’s it going for Bella. Bella hates feeling weak, especially in front of their parents. It cuts Bella’s heart into pieces about how they’ve tried to make their parents proud their entire life and now all their work is at risk of being all ruined. His parents have of course always been proud of them, whatever Bella’s done. They were happy for Bella when he got into LAMDA but they wouldn’t be less proud if Bella got into another school, and as for now, they won’t be disappointed that Bella may have to give up their spot in the school. All their parents could think about this day was how whatever ends up happening, they are gonna be there for them and they’re all gonna get through it. 
Bella texted with their friends in their group chat on the way to Dr. Watson’s office. They were obviously nervous, and their friends were too. The chat got sentimental quick and they all swore to Bella that they are gonna be there for them no matter what. Bella felt good expecting the worst, that way they wouldn’t feel as shocked if it’s worse or just as expected, they would also be relieved if it wasn’t as bad as they thought. 
The ride to Dr. Watson’s office was just as quiet as it was in the waiting room. Neither Bella nor his parents knew what to say. They were all just hoping for the best. As Dr. Watson came and called out Bella’s name, they rose up from their seat in a swift move and went after her, their parents following. Bella had told Dr. Watson earlier that their parents would be coming with them so she had already prepared seats for them all. When they all sat down Bella’s parents sat on each side of Bella, and both their mom and dad grabbed a hand each from Bella. Dr. Watson welcomed them briefly before cutting right to the chase while she brought up a file and took out the MRI scans of Bella’s brain. “I’m sorry but I’m not bringing good news to you today, Bella.” she started off and looked right at Bella, “You have Glioblastoma.” 
Bella knew what that was. They knew it was a severe dangerous tumor in the back of their head. Dr. Watson kept explaining what it meant, using a pen to point the mass of cells in the pictures while going on about how it mostly occurs in older patients but can happen with younger people too, how it’s not genetic and how you treat it and other stuff that Bella couldn’t catch up on. They weren't really listening and were just tuning out all sounds, stuck with their thoughts. They could feel his parents holding his hands tight and saw their dad wipe his tears in the corner of their eye. Bella thought expecting the worst would help them cope with bad news, but it didn’t. They were in shock and didn’t know how to react. Their mind refused to believe the things they had just heard. 
“So Bella. We’re going to put you in chemo first. We’re going to schedule a surgery as soon as possible but because the surgery is severely dangerous, complex and risky, it’s unfortunately going to be hard to find a neurosurgeon for this so you might have to wait a few months.”
The meeting finally came to an end after what felt like hours to Bella. Their mind still couldn’t really register what just had happened, but they were happy their parents were at their side and how they comforted them through the entire appointment. Bella’s parents still held their hands but let go to shake hands with Dr. Watson. On the way out their dad was walking at Bella’s side and held his arm around them tight. Their parents continued to smother Bella with love and support the rest of the day. 
Bella was laying in their bed that night, staring up at the ceiling, and thinking through all the events for the day. Their phone was blowing up with notifications and calls, but they couldn't bear to answer. Their friends were calling and texting, so worried and of course wanting to know what the doctor had said earlier that day. Bella just looked over their shoulder at their phone, picked it up, turned it off completely and then going back to not give a single fuck about answering them. Bella needed time. They barely knew what had happened and needed to regain their thoughts and energy before talking to other people. They didn’t want to hear people's pity for them and they most definitely didn’t wanna answer all their questions. They could wait.
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Four days had gone by and Bella was on their way to the television workshop to talk to their friends. They haven’t talked to them at all in the last few days and they finally gave up looking for answers from Bella and eventually talked to their parents. Bella knew that everyone that knew them, now also knew about their diagnosis. The word spread fast, and as soon as Bella started their phone again after a few days with it turned off, it overflowed over with notifications, texts, voicemails, and calls, 
“I’m so sorry Bella. Sending our blessings.” 
“Hope you get better soon, we’re here for you.” 
“Sending all our love and support to you.”
The texts just kept coming in and Bella had a hard time holding their tears back for the first time since they got the news. They haven't been able to cry in the last few days, not a single tear. It was frustrating for them, they wanted to cry. They wanted to lose their mind and just let it all up. But they couldn't. 
Bella finally arrived at the television workshop after a long and slow walk. They stopped right outside the black door and took a deep breath, slowly reaching for the door, finally opening it and walking straight to the room where their friends practiced. Opening the door and seeing all their friends sitting on the floor, doing nothing. Martha was fiddling with her shirt and Asher was just staring down into the floor, the others also fiddling or just staring into the brown wooden floor. It was unbearably quiet, still no one heard Bella come in. 
“Hey guys.” Heads snapped at the direction of Bella’s voice and shocked faces were immediately seen before they all rushed up to Bella’s side. Hugs were shared and tears were shed. “We have been so fucking worried dude. I swear. We haven’t been able to practice without you and definitely not without knowing if you are fine.” Martha spoke up first after the silence, hugging Bella tight. Bella chuckled, “I wouldn’t really say that I’m fine, but I feel better now that I’m here with you guys.” 
Bella talked to their friends about what the doctor had told them, what their illness is and how the treatment works. They answered all the group’s questions and it felt good getting it out. Bella was afraid they would treat them differently, treat them with pity and caution, but they were the same. Teasing and joking about the situation. It felt good to laugh about it. They eventually started changing the subject and Bella felt happy. Bella felt hope and luck, thinking that with these guys by their side, they were gonna get through it. 
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The days went by and Bella was now on their way to the part in the hospital where they would get their first chemotherapy. Martha and Brianna were supposed to go with them for support but ended up being stopped by the guards in the reception. They weren’t allowed to go with them. Only family was allowed. Unfortunately Bella’s family couldn’t come to visit them this time around. Bella took a long time to walk up the stairs. Counting the steps as they set one foot above the other. They could’ve taken the elevator, but they didn’t want to. They wanted to drag out the time as much as possible, and they weren’t in a hurry anyways. 
“305.. 306..” he paused at the last step and looked up, “.. and 307.” They went up the last step and began walking towards the map just a few meters in front of them, because they weren't really sure where to go. The map said they should go to the right and as they turned, he saw the sign for the ‘chemotherapy’ immediately. With even heavier steps than before, they continued their stroll towards their first chemo.
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a few months later…
Bella was currently living at the hospital. They had gotten worse and the chemo wasn’t working. They were now in chemotherapy and radiation therapy because the doctor wanted to try them as a combination. However, Bella was still waiting for the hospital to find a neurosurgeon to remove their tumor and it didn’t seem that they were in luck of finding anyone soon. 
Bella’s friends came and visited them almost everyday. They were really grateful to have them on their side. They often showed Bella their new plays, they played games together, watched movies or just slept when Bella wasn’t in the mood to hang out. In the middle of their thoughts a sudden raise in volume rang through the room. “You cheated!” Bella looked up from their cards. “I did not!” someone screamed back. It was Wilmer and Isaac that were fighting. Bella wasn’t really paying attention at first due to their head being full of thoughts, but after a few seconds they came back to their mind. “Hey, hey, calm down and stop screaming. Let it go. Think about Bella, don’t stress them up for nothing.” Martha told them and Isaac, who was accused of cheating, who had also risen from his seat, sat back down. Both Wilmer and Isaac looked ashamed for a second but it all went away quickly as they kept playing. 
After a few hours they all had to leave for practice. Bella was all worn out, they always were after hanging out with them. They didn’t have much energy these days due to all of their medication and treatments. But they were getting hungry and it wasn’t dinner yet, so they went to talk to the nurses if they could have his dinner early. As Bella opened the door from their room they only took a few steps in the corridor before someone ran into them. 
“Oh my god, I am so, so sorry! How are you feeling? Are you hurt?” The sweet but panicked voice ran through their head as they looked at your hand that you were holding out for them to reach so you could help them up. They grabbed your hand and you helped them up from the floor. “I’m fine, and it’s not all your fault, I should’ve checked the hall before walking out.” Bella chuckled as they looked up at your face, studying your features. You were really beautiful, but they didn’t recognize you. “Have I seen you here before?” Bella asked you as they turned around to close the door to their room. 
“For starters, no, it was all my fault, I shouldn’t even be running here anyways. For the second question, probably not, I really don’t spend a lot of time here. I was just dropping something off for my mom. She’s a nurse.” You broke into a smile after you finished your sentence and it was the prettiest smile Bella had ever seen. “Oh okay, makes sense. Nice to meet you though, even if we kinda had a rough start.” You both let out a laugh. 
It went silent and Bella looked down to the floor and saw the bag that you were holding. “Wait, is that carbonara!?” He looked at your face with a shocked expression. “Yes, it’s for my mom. She forgot her dinner so I brought her some.” Bella's mouth went into an ‘O’ shape before they spoke again. “Wow. I’m so jealous. I haven’t had that shit in forever, and I sure do miss it.” they chuckled a stiff laugh. “You want some? My mom needs this for her dinner but I can go back to the restaurant and get some for you, my treat.” You gave them a smile as Bella visibly got excited and showed it through physical movements, not for long though. “Oof, I really shouldn’t be doing that” They said as they bent over and took some deep breaths. “But wow, you would really do that for me? That would be amazing.”
An hour later you came back to the hospital with a bag of more carbonara in your hand. You couldn’t remember which room was Bella so you asked your mom, and then went to their room. You were outside their door and knocked, and you barely finished knocking before it opened. With your hand in the air, you brought it down and instead brought up your other hand with the bag. “Ready to eat some carbonara?” You giggled and Bella blushed. “Only if you eat it with me.” You nodded. “Deal.” Bella smiled as you walked inside their room, sat down the bag, brought up the food and started eating. 
After a while of eating in silence Bella was getting curious and wanted to get to know you better. “Sooo.. do you work or are you still in school?” They glanced at you before shoving food into their mouth. “I work in a coffee shop called ‘A whole latte love’ actually.” Bella stopped chewing and abruptly looked at you. “The coffee shop at the corner of Southbridge street?” You nodded simply at their question. “I live in the apartment building next to it! I always walk past that place on my way home, and every time I see it I think about how much I want to check it out!” they squealed, getting excited. “Woahh.. what if we would’ve met there?” Bella stared at you with a stunned expression on their face. You just shrugged and answered, “Fate works in weird ways, man.” and then kept eating. 
You ended up staying much longer than you thought. You had a great time with Bella and they were really sweet. You two got along well, and you thought about visiting them soon again. While you sat on the bus on your way home thinking about them, Bella was laying in their hospital bed at the same time thinking about you. 
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You two started to hang out a lot. Mostly at the hospital, since Bella wasn’t really allowed to leave at any time. But you still had fun. Bella loved hanging out with their friends, but it was nice to actually spend some time with someone other than a nurse or their friends. They snapped out of their thoughts when they heard the door open. Looking at the door they were hoping it was you that were coming but it was Martha and Vera. 
“Hey love. How are you doing? Sorry we haven’t visited as often as we used to.” Martha spoke up as he grabbed a chair from the corner of the room. “It’s alright..” Bella hesitated to tell them about you for a few seconds, but decided to tell them anyway. “I’ve actually met someone.” Both Martha and Vera got an astonished look on their faces. “Who? When? What?” Vera spoke up. “They literally ran into me in the hall.” Bella said while emphasizing ‘literally’. “They ran into you.. and you became friends?” Martha continued to ask. “Yes, and then they bought me carbonara.” Both of the girls next to Bella went ‘aaaah’ with a nod at the same time. 
“Okay, then I get it. Makes sense. But is there something going on between you two, what’s their name? Who is it? Spill it.” Vera wiggled her eyebrows at Bella. “Their name is Y/N. And you know that coffee shop at the corner next to our building? They work there.” Bella sighed. “I don’t know if there’s something going on yet, honestly, I really like them, but we barely know each other and I don’t know if they like me. I mean, who would even like me? I’ll probably die before I even get a chance of getting married anyways.” Suddenly the door opened in a rapid move. 
“Now why the fuck would you even say something like that you fucking fool!” Every head was turned to the door and there was Isaac. After him came Elsa and Asher. Everyone was silent waiting for an explanation from Isaac. “Sorry, we were eavesdropping.” Asher finally said. “Yeah, I think we understood that part.” Vera expressed with an annoyed tone in her voice. “Okay sorry I could’ve maybeee.. been a little harsh.” Isaac dragged out the maybe as if he was waiting for someone to disagree with him. No one said anything, they all just stared at him with an annoyed face.
“Well anyway. I disagree with what you said. Because you’re not gonna die. And also IF you were dying, you still deserve love, stupid.” Emphasizing the ‘if’ Isaac finally explained what he meant when he barged in. “Why do you always use a degrading word when you’re talking to us? Can’t you ever use a loving word?” Martha waved her hands around in some kind of frustration. “Of course I can, but I don’t want to. I can still be sweet though.” Isaac paused, “I love you all, you morons.” Martha just sighed and put her head in her hands at Isaac’s words while Isaac himself was cracking up by his own words and the annoyance of Martha. “I mean, points for trying.” Asher said and let out a chuckle while shrugging from behind Elsa, who both were still standing by the door.
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A few days went by and you were at work. You’ve had to pick up a few extra shifts lately. Texting Bella that you were sorry for the lack of communication but you may be able to come by tomorrow, and ending the text with a cute ‘i miss you’. Bella had been missing you too, maybe too much. Seeing that the text they received was from you, they quickly opened his phone to answer. “It’s okay, but I need carbonara to be able to forgive you.” They sent the text and quickly added, “I miss you more.” you snickered at his response and texted him a quick ‘deal.’
Bella was alone in their room, listening to some music and just laying in bed, thinking. Turning to their side and looking out the window they pleasantly watched the rain fall down outside and hearing the rain hitting the window. Autumn was beginning to set and that made Bella happy, they liked autumn. For Bella it meant a fresh start. It was always a new school year, new classes, hopefully some new friends. But this time there was no school. They should’ve even gone off to college by now, but couldn’t due to their.. situation.
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A knock on Bella’s door woke them up from their slumber. They weren't feeling good at all today, and just wanted to sleep the whole day away. You opened the door slowly and peeked inside. “Hi there lovebug. Heard you’re having a rough day. I bought carbonara, should I just put them down and leave?” you took a few steps inside to put down the bag. “No, please stay.” Bella’s hoarse voice spoke out. “Okay, as you wish.” you started to bring out one of the chairs as Bella spoke again. “No, lay down with me, please.” Their voice were barely audible but you could hear it clear as day. “Are you sure?” You hesitated but started to go to them as Bella made space in their bed and reached out their hand. “Please.” they whispered with tears threatening to spill in their eyes. 
You laid down beside them and they held you as close as they could. You were laying with your head on their chest and began drawing circles on their arm in a soothing manner. “Please, make the pain go away.” Bella choked out, voice still hoarse and tears slowly going down their cheeks. You sat up on your elbow and looked into his eyes. Bella followed you with their eyes and you were now staring at each other. Bella’s sweet, adorable eyes, the eyes that were filled with love and happiness, were now full with pain and misery. “Oh my sweet, sweet lovebug..” You brought your hand up to caress their cheeks. “I wish I could. I would’ve done anything to make your pain go away.” You were about to shed some tears too but you held back as much as you could. You laid back down and began drawing circles on his skin again as you calmly started to sing quietly to “Lullaby” by Sleeping At Last.
“Goodnight, goodnight, it’s time now to sleep,
The moon’s watchin’ over you and your dreams,
Goodnight, goodnight, my sweet little one,
Tomorrow, your eyes, they will light up the sun.
But goodnight, goodnight, sweet dreams for now,
Drift off to sleep on your pillow of clouds,
Goodnight, goodnight, my sweet little friend,
Tomorrow’s adventures, they will soon begin
Tomorrow’s adventures will soon begin.”
And after a while, you both fell asleep in the arms of each other.
Lucky for you, it was Saturday and you were free. You woke up before Bella, but it was kinda late. Almost 5pm. You were debating if you should wake Bella up or let them sleep, and went for the latter. But you really had to pee though, so you tried to get out of their tight grip on you as smoothly as possible. Your mission was accomplished when you got out of the bed without waking Bella. You went to the bathroom and when you were done you decided to go to the cafeteria to get some dinner. You wrote a quick note for Bella, and left.
When you came back Bella was awake and scrolling on their phone. “Good evening love bug, how are you feeling? I brought dinner.” You set down the food and looked at Bella and gave them a smile. “Better, but I’m feeling a little worn out. But why did you buy dinner? Couldn’t we just eat the carbonara you brought earlier?” Bella sat up with their legs crossed. ‘Oh shit. The carbonara.’ you thought to yourself. “I mean, we could, but I totally forgot about that if I’m gonna be honest. Let’s just eat both options while we play some video games, yeah?” You walked up to Bella and gave them a sandwich and a coffee. “I know that I’m dying, but you don’t have to baby me you know.” Bella said while they stuffed the sandwich into their mouth. “When you stop saying that you’re dying, because you’re not, then I’ll stop babying you.” You sat down in front of Bella and put your feet up on their bed. Bella looked at you with love in their eyes and said, “deal”.
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Bella was casually sitting in the lobby for their division of the hospital where they were, well, living. Scrolling on his phone, they suddenly got a call from Martha. “Hey love, what’s up? Can I come by?” Martha's voice rang through his ears as she spoke a tiny bit too loudly for Bella. “Yeah sure. See you soon.” The call was quick, but Bella was happy she was coming to visit. Their friends unfortunately didn’t visit as much these days due to school and work. Bella understood that they were busy but they still wished they could see them as often as they used to before. 
Bella and Martha played video games in Bella’s room for a few hours. At some point they had to stop because Bella was getting dizzy. “So.. how’s it going with Y/N?” Martha asked Bella. “It’s going really well, I genuinely think that they actually like me, and I like them. Like a lot. “ Bella started to blush at the thought of you and started fiddling with their fingers. “Okay, that’s really great.” Martha said coldly, having a stiff smile on her face. “What’s up with the face? What are you thinking? Tell me.” Martha sat up straight at Bella’s words. “You know, I just think, maybe don’t go too far with them you know? You know I love you and want nothing but happiness for you, but think about Y/N. You might not actually make it Bella. We all hope you do, but both you and I know there’s a chance and it’s bigger than everyone wants to believe.” Bella’s face filled up with sadness at Martha’s words. “I know I’m being harsh, but all I’m saying is, don’t be selfish. If, only if, you wouldn’t make it through this, you’re gonna break Y/N’s whole heart Bella.”
Bella was still fiddling with their fingers. The tears ran down their cheeks. “I know.” They whispered. Bella knew Martha was right. They had thought the exact same thing before. Even if they often made jokes about dying, they really didn’t wanna fully realize that they actually were dying. “I’ve been holding back because of that. I really don’t want to hurt Y/N, but at the same time they actually give me hope, and I for once feel like it’s worth fighting this, for them.”
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You and Bella hadn’t seen each other in about two weeks. You texted them everyday asking if you could come over, but they always declined saying that they weren't feeling great. You knew that they were lying, because you could see on their Instagram that they’ve been hanging out with their friends. Getting tired of being pushed away, you wrote a quick “we need to talk, i’ll be there soon” before sending it to Bella. Bella saw the text immediately and started getting anxious. It seemed to be urgent, so what did you want to talk about?
Arriving at Bella’s floor you went to their room with rapid steps. As soon as you got there you burst the door open and saw Bella getting scared and almost throwing their phone away. They quickly sat up straight and looked at you with a confused face. “We need to talk.” was the first thing you said when you came in the door. “I know, you texted me saying the same thing. Oh and you know, people often knock before they walk into someone's room.” Bella pointed at the door which you didn’t knock on. You shook your head, “Why are you avoiding me?” taking a few steps forward as you were taking off your coat and then hung it over a chair waiting for Bella’s response. “I haven’t. What are you talking about?” Bella has unfortunately  never been a good liar, so you could see right through them, also, you had proof because of their Instagram posts. “I saw your Instagram. You told me you didn’t wanna see anyone because you weren’t feeling well. Why didn’t you wanna see me? Did I do anything wrong?” Your voice started to become a little unstable and tears started to well up in your eyes but you tried to hold them back as much as possible. 
Bella went quiet and you were just staring at them, waiting for an answer. “Sorry.” Was the only thing they could let out. “Sorry for what? I want an explanation Bella.” You raised your voice and caught Bella a bit off guard. You’ve never raised your voice at them before. “I’m sorry I avoided you. I was scared that we were getting too close, that we were..” pausing and taking a deep breath they continued, “falling in love or something.” Bella spoke in a whisper on their last sentence. You could barely hear what they said. “Why would that be a bad thing?” You were clearly getting annoyed, and Bella could easily tell. They opened their mouth to say something before they closed it again. They didn’t really know what to say. “Because I’m dying Y/N. I didn’t want to be selfish and only think of my own happiness. Because I think you too know there’s a chance I’m not going to make it.” At this point both you and Bella were crying, you had so much to say to them but you didn’t know how to express it. “But you never thought of talking to me about this? How I felt, what I want? Bella, I’m a fully grown person. I knew what I was getting into when I first got to know you and honestly, my heart broke just thinking about you avoiding me and not wanting anything to do with me anymore.” You felt kinda bad for Bella who was practically sobbing by now. It obviously was a hard topic for them to talk about. But you were still kinda annoyed. 
“I’m really sorry Y/N.” Before they finished their sentence you started talking again. “And for goodness’ sake stop saying that you’re gonna die! We don’t know that! Even if you are, if you set your mind on it too much, and keep saying that you’re gonna die you’re just gonna make everyone around you miserable. That, if anything, is selfish. You gotta try making the best of the situation.” Bella looked up at you for the first time since you two started talking. “You make my situation better.” Their voice was barely above a whisper, but you heard it. “Don’t you sweet talk me now! I’m still pissed at you! Even if you’re so freaking flirty!” You liked their response and tried to hide it since you were most definitely still mad at them.. definitely still mad. At least you wanted them to think so. “Bella, I understand that it’s hard for you. Shit, you have cancer, it fucking sucks honestly. The only thing I’ve been doing is supporting you and trying to cheer you up. It’s sweet that you feel that I make your days better but I have feelings too. I really like spending time with you but you gotta make some effort for me too.” Bella nodded to your words. “I understand. But we gotta make a deal. I’ll promise to do better if you give me a kiss.” You tried so hard not to break a smile, but you still did. Sighing you started to think it over. “Ah.. Haven’t I done enough for you yet?” you let out a small laugh. “But okay, deal.” You sat down beside Bella and took their hands in yours. You two sat in silence staring at each other for a few seconds, “So are you gonna make the first move or do I have to?” Bella chuckled at your remark and started to lean in. You got tired of how slowly they were leaning in and you brought your hands up to their face to grab it and smash your lips together. You didn’t really make out, but you kissed them for a good minute. “I think this deal is our best one yet.” They said while stroking your cheek and you just laughed at their words. You both laid down to cuddle and after a while fell asleep.
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A few months went by and you had spent time with Bella basically every day. You walked down the hall to their room as you did everyday. Opening the door to their room, Bella wasn’t there. You looked around but couldn’t find them. You had brought food, so you put it down to go look for them. Carefully closing the door, you went to the nurse station to ask if they’ve seen them. They didn’t know where Bella was. You started to walk to the activity room where they sometimes would hang out with other patients. As soon as you turned at the corner someone grabbed your face and kissed you out of nowhere. At first you were surprised and annoyed, but as your eyes sprung open in shock you saw that it was Bella and you started to kiss them back. “Surprise, babe.” They mumbles against your lips. You giggled at their antics and you ended up making out. Another patient happened to enter but you both made him promise not to tell the nurses. 
Bella had been trying a new treatment recently, and they were actually starting to get better, although they were still waiting for the hospital to find a surgeon. Since Bella was getting better, you had started to spend a lot more time together outside of the hospital. Going to the movies, eating in restaurants, shopping, going on walks and having picnics, meeting Bella’s friends and going to the television workshop. You two actually made a visit to your job too, since you remembered Bella really wanted to go there. But the happiest moments were when you two spent time at the television workshop with their friends. They all loved you so much and even if Bella barely could practice himself, you still made an effort to show support for their biggest passion. 
You and Bella were alone in the practice room and were joking around as “Can’t help falling in love with you” by Haley Reinhart came on. Bella instantly stopped what they were doing. “Care for a dance, my love?” They held out their hand to you and you accepted it with a giggle. You two started to slow dance to the song, doing some twirls here and there, but mainly just dancing as close to each other as possible and having eye contact. It was such a romantic and lovely moment until the door spurt open and your heads turned to the door. Standing in the door frame was Amanda who looked utterly disgusted. “I forgot my earphones.” She quickly went to get them and turned around in the door before she went out and closed it, “Please don’t end up having sex in the practice room and I think I speak for everyone when I say that.” With one last weary look, Amanda closed the door. You and Bella just exchanged looks and ended up bursting into laughter after the encounter with Amanda. 
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You were playing video games with Bella and Wilmer in Bella’s room when it knocked on the door. Elsa who sat behind you went up to open the door. She opened and there stood two nurses, with weird looking smiles on their faces. “Bella!” one of them shouted, Bella’s reflexes worked quickly as they turned their head to where the voice was coming from. You paused the game and you and Wilmer put down the controllers to hear what’s going on. “Hey, what’s up?” Bella said with a confused tone in their voice. “We found a surgeon for you.” Everything went quiet after the nurse spoke. “What? If that’s a joke then I’m moving to another hospital Anna, I swear to god.” With a raised eyebrow Bella pointed at the nurse who apparently was called Anna, who also gave them the news. “I’m not kidding. She’s from Switzerland and we’ve scheduled a surgery as soon as next week on friday.” Everyone was speechless. Isaac was the first one to react. He went up to Bella and gave them a hug while starting to cry. “Did anyone else think that he was gonna do something inappropriate at first or was I the only one?” Wilmer spoke up and everyone agreed before he got a slap on his arm from Martha beside him. “Of course we did but we’re not always supposed to say everything we think!” she whispered to Wilmer .
The days were getting closer to the surgery and Bella was visibly getting more nervous as the days went by. Their parents are now here too for support as they haven’t been able to visit as much as they would’ve liked to. “How are you doing?” You asked Bella as you two were walking in the park. “Are you nervous?” They squeezed your hand before he started talking. “Yes, very much so, there’s literally so many risks with this surgery you know? But, I’m also so thankful for this opportunity, and I have all these amazing people by my side at all times.” They were looking down at the ground as they kept speaking, “So even if I’ve never been this scared in my life, I've also never been this thankful in my life.” You smiled at their words and gave them a quick kiss before you started walking back to the hospital.
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The day had arrived. Everyone was really emotional. Bella was pacing around their room waiting for the nurses to go get them. They had earlier met with the surgeon, Livia, and they went through the whole procedure together with Bella’s parents. Everyone was watching Bella pace, their friends, their parents, and you. “Are you sure you shouldn’t sit down and calm down a little Bella?” your voice was hoarse from crying and lack of sleep. They just shook their head and kept on pacing. It knocked on the door and every head in the room turned to the door. No one went to open it. “Someone go open it, I can’t do it!” Bella shouted while waving their hands crazily above their head. Their mom got up to open the door. “Are you ready Bella? We’ll come and get you in 15.” was all the nurse said before she left again. Bella's mom got them to finally lay down after a minute of Bella freaking out. Everyone was hysterically crying and telling Bella how everything is gonna be fine and wishing them luck. You had been waiting for your turn to speak to them and finally you got it. You took both of their hands in yours. “I love you, so so much.” The tears were streaming down your face and Bella brought your hands up to their lips to kiss them. “But I don’t want you to worry, everything is gonna be fine.” Your voice cracked at the last word and Bella giggled. “I know, my love. In the end, everything will turn out alright.” They sat up a little bit to kiss you. “Also, can you bring me carbonara when I come back? I haven’t had it for so long, I would absolutely love to celebrate a successful surgery with some carbonara.” You laughed at them before you answered, “Deal.”
A few minutes later Bella had left and the only thing you could hear was people crying and wiping their noses. After a few hours you and Bella’s parents were the only ones left in the room. Bella’s parents had basically forced the others to go home and sleep since everyone had stayed up all night the day before the surgery. You had to grab some air so you went to buy some carbonara for later. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath when you stepped outside. It was in the middle of summer and the sun was shining. You walked slowly to the restaurant so you could enjoy the weather and think about something else so you wouldn’t spiral. You came back after an hour and set down the carbonara on the table beside you. The only thing left now was to only wait.
At the end of the day, the carbonara never moved. It stood there on the table so peacefully in the background while you were on your knees sobbing as a nurse held you, after receiving the news that the love of your life, had taken their last breath.
“The evil it spread like a fever ahead,
It was night when you died, my firefly
What could I have said to raise you from the dead?
Oh could I be the sky on the Fourth of July?
.. The hospital asked, “should the body be cast?”
Before I say goodbye, my star in the sky
Such a funny thought to wrap you up in cloth
Do you find it all right, my dragonfly?”
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guacala · 11 months
Text
it's like totally off the rails, but what if i did a fic that's like bff!bella x cheerleader!reader?? and like bella brings a friend to a game you’re cheering at, and they’re a little too close for your liking...?
PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK TOO, i would really appreciate it..
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williamswifey · 1 year
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hii!! i really love your bella works and i was wondering if i could request a one shot where the reader and bella are both cast on tlou, and they play each other’s love interests. However, they like each other in real life and after they film the kiss scene bella becomes distant because they think reader wouldn’t like them back in real life, but reader forces them to tell them what’s wrong and ends up in confessions.
𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 - 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐘
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pairing ; bella ramsey x fem!reader
summary ; after you and bella kissed on-screen, you thought it ruined your off-screen friendship. but what if the kiss unlocked something larger than friendship?
content warnings ; none really, somewhat unrequited crush, angst w/ a happy ending
a/n ; i’m back 🤗 im super excited to be posting again <3
masterlist
you would be lying if you said you hadn’t completely fallen for bella while filming the last of us. you had been working on the set of season two for months now, and almost all your scenes were with bella.
you were playing their love interest, dina, and for some odd reason—the two of you had yet to film a kissing scene. well, at least until today.
the kissing scene had left you a nervous wreck for the entire week leading up to filming. when you first read the script, you thought your eyes were playing tricks on you.
no way would you have to kiss bella. it’s not that you didn’t want to, not at all— but you knew bella didn’t feel the same way about you. you knew once you knew what bella’s lips felt like pressed against yours, there would be no going back.
you didn’t want to ruin your friendship with bella. if you couldn’t have a relationship, you’d settle for a friendship. and maybe it would eat away at you, but you’d rather have bella in your life as a friend than not at all.
the morning of the kissing scene you made sure to brush your teeth extra well. you had been so nervous, you had gone through almost an entire pack of mints.
you watched as bella nonchalantly walked into set, attention turned to a crew member. you watched bella run a hair through their freshly cut hair—the new hairstyle a result of playing an older ellie.
just watching them made you nervous. but, still—you were an actor. you always easily pushed down your feelings, and that’s exactly what you planned to do today.
you wouldn’t see bella for two weeks after this. the cast was getting a small break from production, and this was the last scene that needed to be filmed.
“y/n,” bella spoke, catching your attention, “ready for today?” they asked, a joking tone to their words.
you chuckled nervously.
“ready as i’ll ever be,” you playfully replied, trying to match bella’s jokingly flirty mannerisms.
bella had been fiddling with the semi permanent tattoo on their forearm. they were poking at it, seemingly trying to distract themselves.
was bella dreading kissing you that much?
you swallowed the anxiety that bubbled in your stomach as the crew began to get you and bella into your positions for filming.
you made sure your lines were extra memorized, you didn’t want to have to do this more than once. you knew that you wouldn’t be able to keep your composure.
the dialogue aspect of the scene went by without fault. you watched as bella took a step closer to you, a flicker in their eyes that you had never seen before.
you memorized the lines that slipped past their lips right before they connected with yours.
“i’ve been waiting to do this for a while,” bella breathed out, british accent long gone, “maybe too long.”
you felt butterflies in your stomach. it felt so real, but you knew it wasn’t. it was just acting, wasn’t it?
“what are you waiting for?” you replied, your character remaining cocky while you felt your heart beating deafeningly loud within your chest.
and then, you closed your eyes, and felt bella’s hand against your jaw. you felt their lips collide with yours, their lips so soft and gentle, and you fought the urge to grin into the kiss.
it lasted a minute. maybe longer, maybe shorter. you weren’t quite sure.
bella pulled away. you swallowed harshly. the director yelled cut, and you watched as bella abruptly walked off the set.
you could feel the ghost of their lips still pressed against yours. you wanted to follow after them, but you weren’t sure if you could ever view them as a just a friend again.
***
you hadn’t spoken to bella since the kiss. a whole two weeks without communication. i you had tried so hard not to be weird around bella, but it seemed like they were the one being weird around you.
you tried to reach out, but your texts were met with a constant ‘delivered’ sign. your calls went to voicemail. you felt like an idiot.
you were nervous going back to set. what if you and bella’s chemistry was ruined? what if they couldn’t be around you anymore, and the producers would fire you?
your head swelled with possibilities. your stomach churned with nerves. you were nervous to see bella.
however, seeing bella wasn’t as bad as you thought. they weren’t acting like the monster you thought they’d be—but by no means did that mean they were acting normal.
you and bella normally talked between scenes, you ran lines together in your hotel room, you spent your lunch breaks and weekends together.
but now, it seemed like bella was a aching to be anywhere but near you.
you weren’t going to lie. it hurt.
it hurt to make eye contact with them, only for them to turn the other way. it hurt to text them, only to be left on delivered. it hurt to try to talk to them, only to be met with a one word response before bella came up with an excuse to leave.
after another couple of days passed, bella’s behavior hadn’t changed. and you were sick of it.
yesterday, you had asked bella if they needed a ride back to their hotel after shooting, but they said they had driven their car to set. however, you walked to the parking lot to find your car the only car there. why had they lied?
today was a friday, and everyone was going home for the night. bella was walking towards their car (which they had actually driven today), and you were walking to yours.
maybe it was a leap of faith, but you found yourself walking towards bella, not your car. you stood in front of them, and their feet stopped in their place.
“okay, what the fuck?” you said, frustrated and fed up.
bella blinked.
“…can i help you?” they asked, rubbing a hand towards their eye.
they looked bored. seriously?
“yes, you can actually,” you said, huffing as you pressed a hand to your hip.
“i’d like to know what the hell i did that was so terrible to make you act like such a shitty person this week.” you snapped. bella gulped.
“y/n, i—”
you cut bella off. “i mean—i’ve been nothing but kind to you, bella. we run lines together, we hang out together, we call, and we text, and now you just pulled the plug on it without even the smallest bit of an explanation. and it’s not fair.”
“you know what’s not fair?” bella said suddenly, their calm composure breaking, “the fact that being around you kills me, and you don’t even know it. the fact that i can’t be around you without the constant reminder of what it felt like to kiss you—and it’s embarrassing how badly i want to do it again.”
“i can’t be around you without becoming a nervous mess. i can’t do it. i know you don’t feel the same way—and it kills me to ignore you, but i can’t just be your friend. it’s too hard.”
you blinked as bella finishing ranting. bella liked…you? did bella just say that? you prayed you weren’t hearing things. however, your lack of a response made bella more worried.
“oh, fuck,” they said, “i totally just ruined everything. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry—”
you cut bella off before they could continue their rambling. you placed a hand on their chin, connecting your lips to theirs. they stilled for a moment, before melting into the kiss.
the kiss was magical.
if you thought kissing bella as ellie was good, kissing bella—the real bella was better.
you pulled away after a moment, and bella had a huge grin plastered on their face.
“i take it you feel the same way?” they asked sheepishly.
you giggled.
“yeah,” you nodded, your giddiness matching bella’s.
“now,” you began, “i think we have two weeks worth of catching up to do.”
“i think we have a lot more than that.”
you laced your hand with bella’s as you walked to their car. you’d pick up your car on monday. all that mattered was bella’s hand in yours, the ghost of their lips still etched across your face, and you knew that feeling was about to become a lot more familiar.
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x-aefx · 11 months
Text
ONE TIME THING - BELLA RAMSEY (PART2)
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Pictures above are not mine
Summary: unbeknownst to you, you meet actor Bella Ramsey. You two hit it off but your paths lead two different directions.
Bella Ramsey x female reader
Warnings: none (?)
Taglist:
She/they pronouns for Bella.
★★
You were confident in saying that today was the busiest you had ever seen the café. Every table occupied, every chair sat on, crowds of people surrounding the tv that hung on the wall cheering or making other loud commentary every so often.
You could never understand the obsession with sports, looking around you, you didn't think you ever would.
You sighed tiredly as the third person in the last few minutes had knocked into you. Pushing through endless amounts of bodies you made your way to the door labelled "staff only". Untying your apron from your waist you made a grab for your coat and handbag. When you had all your belongings you made your way back into the main area.
You had no desire to stay any longer than necessary.
The place was loud and so warm that it felt suffocating. When you had safely secured the box that was left for you behind the counter into your arms, you sped for the door.
Once the door closed behind you, trapping all the noise from inside, you felt a relief like no other. It was like you could finally breath, think, again.
Luckily Aaron's apartment was only a short walk away so you decided you would go straight to his rather than your own, as it was a good 20 minute walk and you were exhausted.
Fighting your way through the crowded street and avoiding the puddles on the footpath you kept walking at a fast pace until you reached the familiar apartment complex. The building was large and the people whom resided in it were nice. Stepping into the elevator (thankfully empty) you pressed floor 4 and patiently waited.
You always told yourself you should always expect the unexpected when it came to Aaron, to not be surprised at his antics but being so tired left your guard down.
"fuck off you fat bitch!"
Stopping briefly at the sound off your best friends voice followed by an unnatural sounding screech, your steps slowed slightly once you began cautiously walking again. You instinctively clutched the box in your hand out of worry.
Poking your head around the corner as to not reveal yourself fully to whatever danger may be present, you frowned.
Rubbing your eyes with your hand whilst the other loosened it's grib on the box you suppressed a groan.
"this world tests me everyday." You grumbled.
You walked into Aaron's apartment as he looked at you in shock and over exaggerated horror.
"there was a predator the size of my FOOT RIGHT THERE! " Aaron yelled after you.
"really? Is it going to the match?" You set the box onto the kitchen counter, opening it up, the sweet smell of donuts hit you pleasantly.
Whatever Aaron was going to say next was lost on his lips
"I love you so much" Aaron muttered as he eyed the donuts hungrily. You snorted.
"right, wanna start season 6?" You shrugged your coat off and left it on the back of the nearest chair, making yourself comfortable on the couch as you carefully held your donut whilst you moved. Aaron hated crumbs on the coach.
"You bet! Were going to finish season 6 Today! I'm tired of constantly dodging spoilers." Aaron joined you on the couch.
You doubted you would get through the entire season in a day, you were working at 8 o'clock tomorrow, you couldn't be up the entire night.
You tried your best to avoid spoilers but you had heard season 6 was when the show starts to dip. So far, you didn't agree. Every so often Aaron would impersonate a character (very loudly) you hoped the neighbors couldn't hear, he wasn't exactly quoting nice things.
When episode 6 finished you felt your eyes slowly begin to droop, the busy morning you had was beginning to catch up on you. Stretching your legs out you stiffly got up from your seat on the couch, you had been sitting in it for hours straight.
The yawn that escaped your lips caught Aarons attention.
"Oh No no! We're getting through the rest of the season! You can't fall asleep now!" It was like he could read your thoughts, he was quick to dismiss whatever excuse you could throw at him.
"I have work tomorrow!" You whined.
Aaron weighed your words in his mind for a few short seconds.
"one more episode?" Aaron negotiated.
You knew you should be getting to your own home now, but you had to admit the show was good and spending this much time with Aaron was rare when you both worked. Rolling your eyes you give him a small nod before turning around to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. Faintly you could hear his cheers.
Opening the cupboard as episode seven played you pulled out your favourite mug, setting it on the counter you took out the hot chocolate powder and warmed up the milk, every so often looking up at the tv.
Leaning against the counter you sipped at your hot drink as you watch the tv. Your eyes moved over to Aaron, you laughed quietly to yourself as he sat completely still with eyes wide and focused on the show his mouth was slightly agape.
Setting your mug down you debated which donut looked better, there was two left; one chocolate covered with chocolate sprinkles, the other had white icing and red velvet crumbs sprinkled on top. You decided on the chocolate one.
"welcome to bear island."
Your reached for a napkin as you listened to the tv.
Turning you watched as Sansa talked, Sansa was always your favorite after Arya.
"I remember when you were born my lady. You were named for my aunt Lyanna. It was said she was a great beauty I'm sure you will be too."
"I doubt it. my mother wasn't a great beauty or any other kind of beauty. She was a great warrior though. She died fighting for your brother Robb."
"I fucking love her oh my days!" Aaron laughed as he watched Sansa and Jon share a shocked look. Noticing the silence of his friend Aaron turned to look to you. Grinning at your shocked face.
"what? Weren't expecting one of your faves to be grilled by a child?" Aaron teased.
His words didn't register in your mind, infact you hadn't heard them, not his voice or the voices of the characters on screen. Now it was you who was standing still watching the tv like a hawke with a slightly opened mouth.
That character on screen was too familiar. The face of the stranger you had sat beside on the bus flashed in your mind. But they were older looking and they're hair was shorter. You closed your mouth and stood straigher once you came back to reality. Your brows furrowed. They looked so much alike.
"who's that?" You kept your eyes on the screen with your finger pointed.
Aaron obviously knowing you were talking about the unfamiliar character on screen, was quick to answer.
Clearing his throat dramatically as he placed a hand on his chest.
"that is the Lady Lyanna Mormont of Bear Island. If you were paying attention you would-"
"not the character the actor! Who plays her?"
Aaron shrugged his soldiers.
"why is that so important all of a sudden."
"I'm pretty sure I sat beside them on the bus on the way to work this morning." You said flatly. There was no point beating around the bush.
Aaron stared at you in silence for a moment.
"I see." Came his calm reply as he turned his focus back to game of thrones.
"I just told you I sat beside one of the actor from your current favorite show, and all you say Is 'I see' ?"
You were confused. You thought Aaron would be running around the apartment in joy.
"you didn't meet them. You thought you did, but you didn't."
You scoffed. Pulling out your phone from your back pocket you opened up Google.
'who plays Lyanna Mormont in game of thrones?'
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"Bella Ramsey?" You muttered the name, more to yourself.
You went out of Google and typed in the name into Instagram. Clicking on the first account that popped up you didn't have to scroll for long.
The minute you seen their most recent post, it clicked in your head. Seeing the recent photo of them at the met gala rather than an old one from when they were on game of thrones confirmed your thoughts.
"I fucking met Bella fucking Ramsey on the bus without fucking knowing and embarrassed the shit out of myself."
You didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.
You met Aarons wide-eyed gaze.
"fuck my life!"
--
When you arrived home you had told yourself you would forget this whole situation and go straight to bed.
That night you got the worst sleep of your life. You estimated you got a total of an hours sleep.
Eventually you gave up and decided you might as well get an early start to the day. Getting ready for work didn't take that long and since you woke up early you would have plenty of time to walk to work today.
You had to admit it was nice walking in the early morning. The number of cars that drove passed you weren't particular high, just the odd person on their way to work much like yourself.
Listening to music helped the walk go quicker, you soon arrived at work.
No matter how early you thought you were, Emma always proved to get to the café before you. Sometimes you thought she had slept the night.
Emma has been working at the café longer than you have. She was a favourite amongst customers with her enthusiastic personality and caring nature. She was impossible not to love. Sometimes you couldn't help but think what was a girl like her was doing working at this café. A face like hers deserved to be on billboards. You were certain she must've had over a dozen boys waiting outside her door every day.
"Morning!" She greeted you in her cheery voice.
You smiled at her, "mornin" you greeted her back.
As you made your way out back you silently prayed the day would go by quick and without fuss. You knew the lack of sleep would catch up on you sooner or later if you didn't make yourself a coffee.
--
"have a good day" you smiled as you handed a regular, an elderly man by the name of Tom and his wife Maria, their tea and scones.
"we will. And make sure not to tire yourself out deary." Maria warned, you knew it was coming from a good place.
"come now my love. I'm sure she doesn't need us distracting her from her work." Tom playfully rolled his eyes at you. maria if she could would talk to you, or anyone for that matter, for hours. No exaggeration.
"hey there's a customer waiting outside, I would do it but there's a woman who's about to beat that shit out of me if I don't drop everything to tend to her immediately." Emma groaned, tucking a piece of her auburn hair behind her ear. You looked back to the woman with matching red hair that stared at Emma inpatiently.
You cringed. "Say hello to your mum for me." You whispered as you gave her arm a comforting squeeze.
Making your way outside to the only person seated you took out your small notepad and pen, ready to take their order.
You couldn't see their face as they sat with their back towards you, a black cap on their head and a blue, red and yellow flannel. Their head was dipped, you guessed they were on the their phone.
You cleared your throat as you stood Infront of their table. They looked up at the sudden disruption.
When bella recognized your face they broke out in a grin.
When you recognized Bella's face you stared in surprise. You certainly weren't expecting this. For bella to show up when you were working, though you did tell them (a stranger) that you worked here. That didn't mean you thought they would actually show up.
They're probably just here by coincidence. It doesn't mean anything.
"I did say I would have to visit, did I not?" Bella was the first to speak.
"yeah um, its just it's still a shock." You mumbled.
"sorry I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Actually thinking about it, this probably seems really weird to you-"
"it's not weird it's just a bit awkward I mean-"
"definitely a bit awkward I understand. I just enjoyed talking to you-"
"I enjoyed talking to you too."
Bella went to say something but stopped once your words fully registered in her head. she smiled.
"so is there anything I can get you? Or did you only want to talk?" You teased her lightly.
The smallest hint of red appeared on her cheeks.
"just the tomato soup please."
You scribbled the order down and promised them it would be ready soon.
"I'm Bella by the way" bella stopped you before you could go back inside.
"I'm y/n"
"nice to meet you, y/n."
--
Barely 10 minutes had passed and the shock had yet to wear off. The cafe has become busier so to your dismay you didn't see bella since you took their order, Emma had brought out their soup.
You went from table to table scribbling down orders and bringing them to the kitchen. Thankfully you had a decent amount of energy in you despite only running on one hour of sleep.
Exiting the kitchen you began cleaning the bar. Oddly you found this to be sort of nice. There was only one or two people seated on the stools as many only came for the alcohol which wouldn't commonly be ordered in the afternoon. One man in particular recalled a childhood story loudly to the younger man beside him.
"sorry, a customer wanted to give this to you. I asked for their name, they said you would know who it would be from. " Melanie, another waitress tapped you on the arm. You looked down at their outstretched hand, a small folded piece of paper.
You frowned but thanked Melanie for bringing it to you as you took the note from her.
You were quick to open it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Something came up, but I really would like to get to know you more.
000-000-000
-bella
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Part one⬇️
Part three⬇️
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Text
this must’ve took forever, but it’s really well done.
luv edits.
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obsessedelusional · 11 months
Text
opposite
paring ✦ Bella Ramsey x Reader
summary ✦ It’s hard to move on when your ex is a famous actor. As a even more famous singer your bound to see each other. What happens when Bella allegedly starts dating their costar? Who looks entirely the opposite of you.
word count ✦ 3,700ish
authors note ✦ I saw Sabrina Carpenter live and this song has been stuck in my head so it inspired this. Also the most recent request I got had the sweetest not ever just about cried reading it. Just wanted to let who ever sent that know I appreciate you so much. Almost to 900 omg thank uuuuuuuuuu
masterlist
FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!
⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹
Your ex partner, Bella Ramsey, had finally found the success they always wanted. Which only made the break up harder, seeing their stupidly handsome face everywhere.
You were an even more successful singer, your rise to fame began when you stared in a popular children’s show. As you aged and left the show you began posting covers online. Eventually sharing snippets of your original work, one went mega viral changing the trajectory of your life. Releasing the song began your music journey and you hadn’t acted since.
It all started when the director of a movie Bella would be staring in approached you to write a song that would be featured in the movie, you were ecstatic. You were invited to the premiere where you were introduced to Bella. Your attraction to them was instantaneous.
Unfortunately you didn’t get to see them again that night. When you arrive home that night you throw on your comfiest clothes. Laying in bed you waste no time cyber stalking Bella. Doesn’t take you much time to find their instagram. You smile seeing the follow back button. You click it before sending a simple message about how you enjoyed the film. Truth be told you weren’t paying much attention to it. It takes a couple hours but Bella responds thanking you. This conversation sparked many more before finally inviting Bella over. A handful more of casual dates lead to you two making it official.
Your relationship with Bella was extremely private entirely on their part. You wanted the world to know but they weren’t ready. So you never pushed the issue figuring Bella would be ready eventually. Six months later and they weren’t ready, starting the downfall of the relationship.
Missing opportunities because Bella wanted you with them. A big event would be nearing and suddenly Bella desperately needed you in England. Only for you to arrive and Bella be distracted. One time you arrived and Bella never responded to your messages. You were in their home town for a whole 24 hours before they got back to you. They came out with some bullshit excuse.
Making you feel like shit for going to events while they were in town. Leading to arguments because they were always invited. Sometimes you couldn’t help but feel like they were jealous of the fact that you were on a whole different plane of fame than them. Or maybe they felt inadequate. Bella shut down at every conversation about the relationship so you never understood the underlying issues.
It all came to an end when you had planned a trip to Paris for the two of you, somewhere you had always dreamt of visiting. They were well aware of this fact, telling you that one day they’d take you.
Bella would be done filming their most recent project around the time you’d be on a two week break from tour. You wanted nothing more than to spend it with Bella. Things had started to go stale, hoping this would help things to be like when you first started dating. When you arrive to Nottingham you surprise them expecting them to be as excited as you.
“I don’t want to go.” Bella responds flatly, reading over the card you worked hard on. The plane tickets slipped inside.
“Why not?” You ask, irritation heavy on your voice.
“Because I’ve been there before so many times. Plus we can’t go anywhere without paps following you around. Surprised you made it here without being followed.” They set the card down, walking away from you.
“Would it be so bad if people knew we were dating?” You respond, Bella just looks at you unable to talk.
“I don’t understand. Every single time I try to do anything besides sit in your apartment for weeks on end you shut it down. I’m always traveling to see you. Not once have you come to LA when it wasn’t part of your job.” You speak, voice shaking. Not sure if your about to start crying or yelling. Maybe both?
“You know I don’t like LA.” Bella says only responding to part of what your just said.
“I don’t like being a secret but I do it because it’s what you want. We do things we don’t like for the people we love.” The mention of love sends tears running down your cheeks.
“Whatever.” Bella huffs pulling their phone out. Every time you tried to discuss anything uncomfortable Bella always shut down, typical.
“Fuck this.” You spit out wiping away at the tears, reaching for the card. Pulling the tickets out of the envelope and taking one. Tossing the other ticket at Bella, their face fills with confusion as they pick it up from the floor.
“I’m going to Paris with or without you. Our hotel information is in the card. You know where to find me if you want to continue whatever the fuck this is cause I’m done.” Bella doesn’t plead or try to stop you like part of you wish they had.
When your out in the hallway of their apartment complex that’s when the real waterworks start. Between tears you shoot a text to your personal body guard that had dropped you off requesting a pickup.
Your sat outside crying just long enough for some one to sneak a video of you. Posting it to twitter that day going viral, most people wondering why you were so upset. The greater half of the internet turning into a meme. So that for the rest of your existence you’d be reminded of the day your relationship with Bella ended.
A couple days later your were in Paris all by your lonesome self. You decided after two days of moping in the hotel room it was time to get your shit together. Taking a long hot shower washing the breakup off your body and out of your hair. Hadn’t heard anything from Bella which was probably for the best.
You take your time to do your make up. Spending even more time on picking an outfit out. This would be your first time making an public appearance since the video. Your manager pressing you to post something about it. When your done your body guard is waiting for you in the car outside. They drive you to the Eiffel Tower.
Your in awe as they park, the tower perfectly in your view. Your quick out of the car your body guard hurrying to catch up. Your late start to the day puts a pip in your step. Momentarily you forget about everything doing the stereotypical tourist things. Taking pictures of the tower and then photos of your self with the tower. Enlisting the help of your body guard to get better photos, laughing at their attempt.
When you finally get your phone back you scroll through the photos smiling. Until you hear your name softly, looking up your greeted by a young girl.
“Hi,” you smile. They start talking about how much they love you and your music. You thank them pulling them in for a hug, the fan not realizing how much you needed that hug.
“I know it’s none of my business but I hope whatever had you so upset in that video has been resolved or something. I just hope your feeling better, I guess that’s what I’m trying to say.” They laugh at their own words, you smile thanking them again. You ask them if they’d like a picture, your body guard snaps a few for the fan.
“Thank you,” the fan says before going to leave.
“No thank you, I appreciate you.” You respond.
It doesn’t take long before a small crowd of people forms wanting your attention. You talk to each one, taking photos with everyone. Thirty minutes have passed and the suns starting to set. You say you goodbyes before following the body guard to the car. In the car you scroll through all the photos you took tonight. Favoriting a few, deleting the rest and editing your favorites.
Once in the hotel room you decide it’s time to make a post. You post several photos in one post, doing a photo dump of your adventures from the last few days. The first photo you in front of the Eiffel Tower, the second a shot of the tower by itself. The third photo you crying in your hotel room, a snap chat you had sent your friend. Deciding to attach a screenshot of the video that went viral or you sobbing outside of Bella’s apartment. Ending it with an off guard photo of you laughing.
caption: if you’re going to be sad you might as well be sad in paris
3 Months Later
Bella’s most recent tv show has been doing so well that the entire world was tuning in every Sunday night. Expect you of course, you refused for your own well-being. It’s hard to avoid her though at this point everyone’s talking about the show. Your feed flooded constantly with posts about the show.
Clips of the Bella and their love interest had been blowing up all over TikTok flooding your for you page. Causing you to fall down a rabbit hole every time which only made their videos appear more often. The only good thing to come out of this was you spent less time on your phone.
Tour has come to an end, it was amazing but you were ready to relax. Your recent breakup was inspiring many songs, the next album coming along easily. Your visiting your parents in your home town, staying in the room you grew up in. Not much has changed since you left years ago. To your dismay your younger sibling was obsessed with Bella’s new show, begging you to watch it with them. Constantly bringing it up in conversation.
“I’m surprised you haven’t seen it. The show has girl on girl action in it.” They casually say at the kitchen table.
“Don’t refer to it as that.” You roll your eyes.
“Whatever. You’d love it. We should binge the show today and then we can watch the new episode tomorrow.” They suggest.
“I’m good.”
“That Bella girl is in it. Remember she starred in that Amazon movie you made a song for?”
“Yeah I remember.” You respond, ready for this conversation to end.
“I ship her character and her costar, Cleo. They’re so cute. I think they’re dating in real life.”
“Why do you think that?” Suddenly interested in the conversation.
“They’re always together all over social media. They look pretty much in love.” You reach for your phone pulling it out, opening instagram. Typing Bella’s at into the search bar, clicking on their profile once it pops up. Photos of Cleo filling Bella’s feed.
“There’s no fucking way.” You groan aloud, seeing the photo of the two of them hugging in front of the Eiffel Tower. The place you had begged Bella to take you to before the breakup. They refused to because they didn’t want anyone to know you were dating. Or maybe it cause they didn’t want Cleo to know? They were filming this show the entirety of your relationship with Bella.
“What?” Your sibling questions.
“Nothing.” You mutter, leaving them sat alone at the kitchen table. Straight to your bedroom you head. You find Bella’s new “friends” Instagram, taking note of the follow back button. Scrolling just far enough to find a post with your lyrics as a caption. Bella was still keeping you as a secret. You could feel your self getting angrier by the second. You had cried so much over this entire situation now only anger left.
Then noticing all the differences between you and her. Opposite colored hair and eyes. Body entirely different, looks nothing like you. Apparently Bella had a type and obviously wasn’t you. Why does Bella look so happy in this photos? Why could they be happy with you?
It all starts to click Bella was holding out for the opposite. Most likely dragging you along until they found what they actually wanted, Cleo. Even if you never left Bella that day your relationship would of never worked out, you weren’t Bella’s type. They’ve at most been dating for three months and Bella was ready to be public in Paris of all places.
That night you stay up super late. Your brain heavily inspired by the news shoved in your face this morning. After several hours you have a shell of a song deciding to title it Opposite.
♫ Oh, so you do have a type? And it's not me.
Oh, so you can reply? Just to not me.
So y'all are in Paris now? Guess it's public. ♫
Some time has passed since you finished writing Opposite. Normally releasing a song took months but you stressed the importance of this being done. So a week later it was upload to all steaming platforms. Within the first day it is clear it’s on its way to becoming a massive hit. You phone is flooded with compliments on the song.
The smallest part of you wondering if Bella’s heard it. Curiosity gets the better part of you, pulling up Cleo’s instagram on your secret account. Clicking her story where it shows a screenshot of your song with the caption, “Can’t stop listening to this.” You can’t help but smile thinking about Bella being forced to listen to this over and over again.
Weeks have passed since you released Opposite. It went number one on the second day and hasn’t left since. Your next gig is an awards show, you’ve been busy practicing. Adding Opposite into the mix among the other songs you’ll be performing.
“You think your ready for tonight?” Your agent asks.
“Yeah.” You respond, you had just finished the last rehearsal for tonight. Getting approval from the award shows reps. The show started in three hours.
“Time to get you to hair and makeup.” You nodded following your agent to your backstage room. Your name posted on the door.
Once inside your greeted by the girls who regularly did your makeup and hair. They spend a solid two hours working on you. You rush getting dressed in the red carpet dress. Just as they’re applying the finishing touches your agent comes into room notifying you that it’s time to walk the carpet.
Your walked out of the back of the building, ushered into a car. The car drives around to the entrance where everyone arrives to walk the carpet. As soon as you step out the crowd starts screaming for you. Camera flashes nearly blinding you as you walk out. Your agent is close behind guiding you through the carpet, instructing you where to stand and how long. Before you stop to do interviews you take pictures with some of the fans lined up outside.
The first two interviews you do are entirely harmless. Asking you questions about your music and if there’s a possible album on the way. You thank them when it comes to an end, quickly moving on to the next.
“You look so good tonight.” The next interviewer says.
“Aww thanks, you too!”
“Thank you. We’re really loving your new single! Is there an album in the works?”
“Perhaps.” You smile sheepishly.
“We can’t wait. You were recently turned in to a meme..” You physically cringe at the reminder.
“You we’re crying and a few months later Opposite was released. Are the two incidents related?”
“Yeah actually they are.” You laugh.
“We’ll I’m sorry you had to go through that but Opposite is a bop. That many can relate to, including me. So thank you and I can’t wait to listen to whatever you put out next.”
“Thank you. Thank you for saying that. You’re so sweet.” You say before saying your goodbyes. You move onto the next interview. Your busy answering their questions when you notice a familiar face a few spots down, it’s Bella. Cleo following closely behind. You rush through the last half of the interview, finding your agent letting them know your done.
They lead you inside where your sat at a table, where’d you be sitting until your performance. You read the name plates breathing a sigh of relief when Bella’s name isn’t on one. Your sat with other young female artists sitting fairly close to the stage. As the table starts to fill you create small talk with the girls.
You can’t help but notice Bella and Cleo enter. Cleo’s scanning the room her eyes light up when she sees you. She starts heading towards you. You turn your back to them muttering a silent fuck praying that she’s going literally anywhere else. Your prayers aren’t answered because you hear the sound of your name leaving her mouth.
“Hi.” You smile at Cleo. Bella stayed back watching the two of you intently. Probably terrified because if the math is mathin Bella was dating both of you at the same time. You could expose them in a heartbeat.
“Oh my god. I can’t believe it’s actually you. I love you so much. You’re music is everything to me. Like you have no clue.” Cleo gushes over you.
“Thank you. You’re too sweet.” Cleo asks for a photo so you agree standing up. She pulls you into a hug, any bad feelings towards her fade away. Realizing Bella’s the asshole in the situation. You pose for a quick selfie with her.
“Thank you so so so much.” Cleo pulls you into one last hug before running back to Bella. You can’t help but feel bad for her as she fangirls to Bella. Bella and Cleo sit a few tables down.
Your currently under the stage listening to the women who’s announcing your performance. You weren’t all that nervous until you realized Bella would be in the audience. The stage floor opens and your platform begins to rise, it’s time to go.
You start with a mashup of your most popular songs. Singing short snippets of each, moving on to the next. Hitting every note and dancing along with the back up dancers. Everything is going smoothly. Just as planned. The crowd cheers you on and most sing along. The lights go out briefly just quick enough for an outfit change. When the lights shoot back on your at the front of the stage, hands holding onto the microphone stand. The music for opposite stars, spotlight on you.
As the words spill out you can’t help but look to Bella. They look uncomfortable sat there, doing everything in their control not to look at you. As you continue signing Cleo looks happy signing with you, unaware of Bella.
♫ “She looks nothing like me. So why do you look so happy? Now I think I get the cause of it. You were holding out to find the opposite. Said I'm beautiful Was I being lied to?” ♫
You finish the rest of the song not once looking back to Bella. Too hard to look at the person who caused you so much pain. Once your done the audience erupts into applause. The host comes out greeting you.
“Damn girl that was amazing but that song is so so sad. Are you okay?” The laugh.
“I’m great actually. This is probably the coolest moment of my career.”
“Your on fire. I’d hate to be the one who hurt you.” They tease.
“Their loss.” You shrug your shoulders.
“Absolutely. Thank you for that amazing performance.” You thank the host before exiting the stage.
You busy changing into your final outfit of the night. A more casual dress that you can wear the rest of the night. A soft knock at the door has you looking up from the shoes your busy trying to shove on. Your entire team in near so you have no idea who it could possibly be.
“Can someone get that?” A few moments later Bella is stood there in the doorway.
“It’s Bella Ramsey.” Your assistant says. They don’t know any better because no one knows about your past with them.
“Can you give us a moment?” Your team nods leaving the room. Bella finally enters the room, keeping their distance. Wary of you might do next.
“What do you want? I don’t have much time before I have to go back out.”
“I wasn’t lying.”
“What?” You ask, confused.
“When I said your beautiful.” A laugh leaves your mouth, finding Bella’s cheesiness stupid. Bella’s phone vibrates.
“Thank I guess. Are we done?” Bella is busy looking at their phone so you ask.
“No I want to apologize-“
“Whatever you’re gonna say. Don’t.”
“Please just listen.” They plead, moving closer.
“I made a huge mistake. I should of taken you to Paris. I was a shit partner. You-” Bella rambles so you interrupt them once again.
“Don’t do this. It isn’t fair to Cleo.”
“You don’t understand the whole picture.” Bella responds their phone vibrating again.
“Seems important. You should take it and leave.”
“Not until you hear what I have to say.” They respond. You only cross your arms across your chest waiting for them to speak.
“I’ll be honest I was scared to go public with you because I knew no one would care about me and my acting. I’d always just be Y/N’s girlfriend. That’s it.”
“Doesn’t matter anyways your with Cleo.” You respond.
“Right before the last time you came to see me. Right before we wrapped up filming the director and a handful of PR pulled us into the office. Insisting that Cleo and I should pretend to date. Get more people to tune in.”
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
“It’s true. Said that fans shipped us heavily. They vaguely indirected that if we didn’t our characters might not see the next season. I was so distraught on what to do and then you came and broke it off. I took it as a sign on what to do.” Bella further explains, phone buzzing again.
“We are suppose to present an award any minute hence the persistent phone calls. I was told to announce our relationship on air tonight. I miss you so fucking much. I can’t do it knowing there’s even a slight chance you’ll forgive me.”
“This is all too much.” Is all you can manage to say letting your arms falls to your side.
“You don’t have to make your mind up right now. Just tell me not to go out there and announce it and I won’t.” You look over Bella their filled with panic.
“Don’t do it.” You whisper barely audible. Bella’s panic turns into joy. Smiling ear to ear before leaving you alone in your dressing room.
⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⊹
thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed! If you did, please consider reblogging or leaving feedback. its all greatly appreciated and helpful!!
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