#ben barnes the actor that you are the man that you are

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

prince caspian is so alina core btw. if you even care. nevermind you wouldn’t understand it.

[padfootagain]

Morning Dance

Hi!! Here I come again with a new fic for Ben! I hope you like it! Please, let me know what you think about this cute little piece!

*************

Summary: You have a little bit too much fun at your friend’s party, and are very much drunk by the end of the night. How do you end up lying in Ben Barnes’ bed the next morning? You have no idea…

Warnings : none, just a lot of fluff!!! Friends to lovers.

Pairing : Ben Barnes x reader

Word Count : 3288

You would never let your friends talk you into going to one of their parties ever again.

Right at this moment, you should have been in your bed, enjoying a peaceful Sunday morning in your cosy little flat with nothing to disrupt you but the sound of birds singing outside.

But you had listened to your friends as they convinced you to come to this party one of them was hosting. It was all their fault. Because your best friend had looked at you with such puppy eyes, and she insisted and gave you only great arguments to come… Free drinks, free food, all your friends gathered in one house, including some you had not seen for quite a while.

Even Ben was attending, whom you had not seen in a long time. He was off to another country to film a show, as usual. Happy and busy life of an actor.

You had to admit that this was the final argument that made you cave in. You hadn’t seen this friend of yours for a very long time. Oh, of course you were still in touch, and spent hours on the phone together on a regular basis. But it wasn’t the same as seeing him. As hearing his voice unchanged by the phone. As seeing his handsome face without the screen freezing every ten seconds because of his or your terrible connection. As hearing his laugh ring across a room. As having him giving you a warm hug because he genuinely was so happy to see you…

…and the fact that you had a crush on him did weigh on your decision. It would have been hard to deny it.

A crush that you had kept hidden ever since it bubbled its way into your heart years ago. A crush you thought would eventually wane but remained just as strong as the months - and later on the years - went by. A crush that, maybe, turned into something a little stronger than a mere crush, but you had always refused to acknowledge that. Liking your friend this way was hard enough to deal with.

You reckoned you were not the one to blame though. Maybe, had he not been so charming, and not so annoyingly kind, and just a little bit less of an idiot in a hilarious and adorable way… maybe then you would have never developed these feelings for him.

But then again… your life could be awfully complicated sometimes.

For all these reasons, you had gone to your friend’s party the previous night. And you had had a wonderful time, you could not deny it. But then, you got a little too drunk. You crossed that thin line between ‘just above tipsy’ and ‘about to pass out’. And that was when it all went wrong.

Terribly wrong. Because you could not remember the end of the night. Because you woke up this morning with a terrible headache. Because you felt like your tongue was made of cardboard, your back was painful for some reason, and you had not even opened your eyes yet that you already felt nauseous. But also because, when you did open your eyes, rubbing away the remnants of sleep that lingered on your eyelids, you found yourself in a bedroom.

Waking up in a bed, in a bedroom… that sounded logical at first. Until you realized that this was not your bedroom. Nor your bed. And that you were not alone in this bed…

You knew where you were, and who was lying by your side, making the mattress bend slightly under his weight, letting out a regular and quiet snore that was barely audible, just loud enough to show he was still sound asleep. You knew where you were and who this man was before you turned your head to the side to look at him. You would have recognized this poster of Back to the Future hanging on this wall anywhere…

You were waking up in Ben fucking Barnes’ flat.

And not just in his flat, actually. In his BED! WITH HIM!

The realization struck you enough to make you unable to move for a rather long time. You merely stared at this stupid poster, trying to decide what to do, trying to remember what had happened, trying to figure out what his reaction would be if he suddenly woke up to see you there, by his side, in his bed…

What on earth happened during the night?

You felt the bed moving as Ben turned and when you finally detached your stare from the wall, it was only for your gaze to drown in his dark eyes.

You saw him blinking. One, twice, thrice… eyelids falling on brown irises that, in the shy golden light of morning, seemed almost black.

He stared back at you, and for a moment, it felt like nothing else mattered. All your questions were left unanswered, and you didn’t mind. He merely stared at you, with these eyes of his that always held something happy, something gentle, something kind. You stared and got lost there, in this familiar sight.

But then, you were aware that he was smiling. You could see in the way his eyelids dropped a little more than usual that he was not fully awake yet. Awoken, and yet lost in the fogs of the first moments that followed a gentle sleep; where the world is bright and blurred and nothing is complicated yet.

For him, this, you and him in the same bed, was not complicated for now. Instead, the covers were warm and comfortable, and the light coming in through the curtains was yellow and soft, and you were pretty like this, lying by his side…

While the world was still motionless, you took your time to look at him, or rather admire him, in fact. A mess of dishevelled dark hair pressed against his pillow, stubble to colour his cheeks, and a smile that made crinkles appear at the corner of his eyes. You wanted to reach up to caress this spot above his cheekbone, to brush a fingertip against the freckle under his right eye. But you didn’t dare. It was but a passing moment, as fragile as a snowflake resting in the palm of a hand. A mere movement could pop the bubble where you had found shelter, and then it would be over. The migraine would be back, and all the questions, and the panic…

Better stay hidden there, in plain sight, for a little bit longer, for as long as Ben would let it last…

And Ben let the moment last for a long while. Because, truth was, he didn’t want to move at all. Just like you, he wanted to remain in this suspended state for a little longer.

Because… well… it didn’t happen everyday that one could wake up next to the woman they secretly loved… Better enjoy it while he could.

He was surprised you had not pushed him away yet. He expected you to freak out. Ben was pretty much certain that you had drunk too much the previous night to remember what happened after that last shot of Tequila.

You probably did not remember dancing with him on an improvised dancefloor in the middle of your friend’s kitchen. You probably did not remember the crazy moves you made, the silly faces, the disco dance, and then… then the slow dance spent swaying slowly in his arms.

He remembered though. He was driving home after the party, after all. No alcohol for him, except for one beer. He was sober while you danced as if there would be no tomorrow. He was sober when the music changed from funky to slow; from joyful to melancholic. He was sober when you stared at him for a couple of seconds, clearly hesitating, biting on your lower lip. He was sober when you took his hand without a word, wrapped your arm around his neck in silence, and danced. Slow, soft movements while holding him close. He was sober and yet barely alive as he guided your movements, breathing in your perfume, the familiar scent that he always missed whenever he travelled. A hand on your lower back, the other holding your fingers. Your breath tickling his neck, making his heart beat uncontrollably fast and all the hair on his neck stand… but in a delightful way. A way that made him long for more. He could barely breathe all along, while you swayed softly to an instrumental version of some Hozier song.

He was sober. He remembered everything.

The way the last notes died out while you were alone in this kitchen, the party raging outside while another song was played but none of you seemed to hear it. The way you were staring at each other, standing still. The way you leaned up to press your lips to his. The way you tasted of Tequila and something sweet he couldn’t identify. The way you held him close, the way he did the same. The way your two hearts pounded in your chests, so loudly they echoed through the other’s ribcage. The way he realized that this had to be what people called ‘heaven on earth’…

He remembered everything.

He was pretty sure you had forgotten though. About the dance, and the kiss, but also how you didn’t want to go home alone. How he offered to take you home and stay for a while, but you insisted on going to his place. And after that kiss, he couldn’t refuse anything to you. He would have done anything you asked. And so, he did.

You must have forgotten the way he helped you walk to his home, and to his bedroom. How you stopped him when he tried to leave, determined to sleep on the couch.

Stay with me for tonight. I don’t want you to leave.

You’re drunk, nothing will happen, Y/N.

I hope so. I trust you for that. Stay anyway. I’ve missed you.

He would have done anything you asked. And so, he did.

But then, morning came, and there you were. Awake by his side, and if he moved at all, even the smallest tremor, it would be over.

He took a deep breath, before breaking the spell. Someone had to do it, eventually. A life cannot be spent in a timeless dream…

He had barely opened his mouth to speak that a terrified spark lit up your eyes.

"So… good morning?" he spoke, his voice made hoarse by sleep.

You opened and closed your mouth a couple of times. Your eyes grew round, and the spell was broken for good. You seemed panicked by now. You sat up, pressing the covers against your chest in instinct.

"We're in the same bed,” you breathed, still staring at him. “What the fuck are we doing in the same bed?!"

Ben yawned, hiding behind a relaxed composure how his heart was a little broken by this reaction of yours.

So… your kiss was just that then. A drunken kiss made on an impulse, forgotten as quickly as it was given…

“Nothing happened, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he reassured you, still lying down.

You looked down, and indeed, you were fully clothed.

You heaved a relieved sigh.

“Thank God… I don’t remember the end of the night.”

“Yeah… not surprising, considering how drunk you were.”

“Did I throw up? Did I do something crazy?”

Was kissing your friend to be classified as crazy?

“You didn’t throw up,” Ben reassured you. “You were drunk, and didn’t want to be alone. I took you home. We fell asleep. That’s all.”

You nodded, heaving another sigh as you visibly relaxed.

“I’m sorry. Don’t know exactly what happened, but whatever I did… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Nothing too bad, you don’t have to worry.”

“Good…”

You looked at him now with so much embarrassment, he hated it. He hated it so much… He knew what was coming.

“I’d better go. I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”

He meant to reassure you, but you were already on your feet before he had the chance to say anything. You fought against the nausea that shook your world as you stood up, and as soon as your feet were anchored on the solid ground again, you strode out of the room.

You wanted to escape. As fast as possible. You felt so ashamed, so embarrassed…

“You could stay for breakfast,” Ben offered from behind you.

He had gotten up in a hurry as well, following you across his apartment.

“Or at least for one of my miraculous remedies against hangover,” he joked, but his smile was nervous.

“I think I’d better go.”

“Right…”

He hesitated. Was it better to not remind you about the kiss? Was it better to let you go?

But if you remembered later on, and he hadn’t told you anything about it… wouldn’t you be mad? Would you not think then that he didn’t care about this kiss?

Because he cared. More than you could have imagined, more than he cared to acknowledge.

And maybe, as he took his final decision, he didn’t think as much about your feelings as about his own. Because perhaps you had forgotten about that kiss, but he hadn’t. He remembered everything. And the more he thought about it, the more Ben was certain that he would never be able to be merely friends with you again; not after that kiss, not after that moment you had shared.

He looked at you for a moment, motionless, standing in the middle of his hallway while you grabbed your coat and looked for your shoes. They were right there, next to his, waiting for you by the door…

“Do you really not remember anything from last night?”

You froze. You could hear something painful in his voice. Something that told you that you should have remembered… but you didn’t.

“Not after I drank that Tequila shot. Then… nothing.”

“I see…”

You turned to face him. Ben had crossed his arms before his chest, his black t-shirt revealing most of his arms, and the muscles that tensed at your answer. He clenched his jaw, looking down. You guessed that he was hesitating.

“Did something happen?”

He didn’t answer, but now you were truly worried. Because if you had done something crazy, then you preferred to know.

“What happened? Tell me.”

He heaved a sigh, but shook his head.

“It was nothing, no need to bother you with that.”

He really had wanted to be selfish for a moment, but he couldn’t. Especially not when it came to you…

“Ben… you have to tell me. I’ll remember. I always end up remembering after a while.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… I do remember the night I threw up on your shoes.”

He chuckled at that.

“That was an epic night.”

“Tell me. What did I do?”

He looked for the best way to tell you… but he didn’t know how. How could he tell you that you had kissed him. And that he had kissed you too…

“How did you remember?” he asked, his tone too neutral.

“Just… saw something that reminded me of that night.”

“So… I could make you remember….”

You frowned questioningly at him, but he had already walked into his living room. You followed his steps without understanding his actions.

He picked up his phone, seemed to be looking for something.

Music echoed, notes played on guitar strings. You frowned at him some more.

“Ben? What’s going on?”

He took his time to put down his phone, and then he turned towards you. He stared at you, with an intensity that made it impossible for you to look away. Something in his brown, almost black eyes was magnetising, a mixture of determination and something more fragile too… something that looked like fear…

He stood before you, in silence, until he offered you his open hand.

“We danced. Do you remember that?”

But you shook your head.

"Dance with me, then. Please?"

“Ben… this is mad…”

“Maybe… but maybe you’ll remember if we dance again.”

You had to yield, because he looked too determined to change his mind. Because he offered you a hand you had never refused. Because you wanted to dance with him. Always… if you could spend your life dancing in his arms, you would.

So, you had danced… but there was more to it? A dance with Ben was already a lot to take in…

Gently, he pulled you closer, and you found yourselves in the same position as the night before. Swaying gently to the same song. Your hands joined as one, your arm around his neck and his fingers resting on your lower back. And you could feel his breath against your cheek and ear and hair and it was driving you crazy…

He smelled something of wood and stars on a rainy night. You loved this scent. It felt like home…

You kept on telling yourself that you were not ready to admit your feelings for Ben, but that was a ridiculous statement, if there ever was one. Because it was obvious that you loved him. A crush… you could have laughed at yourself if you had been able to breathe properly at that moment. No… no, what you felt now, holding him close… it was so much more than a mere crush. You were in love. You were in love with him…

The song came to an end, and the air was still. Ben pulled away just enough to look at you. He studied your features, trying to guess if you remembered what had happened after this song was over the previous night…

And when you looked up at him with round eyes, he was certain that you did remember.

“You… did I… did I kiss you?” you asked after a long pause.

Slowly, he nodded.

“Yes. You did.”

“And… you didn’t… stop me?”

“No. No, I didn’t.”

“Why not?”

He gave you an amused smile.

“What do you think?”

You studied his features for a moment, but you were certain he wasn’t angry. He was smiling, but he was nervous too, you were sure of it.

Did that mean that…

“You feel like that too?”

Again, he nodded slowly. He raised his hand to brush his fingertips across your cheek, making your breath get caught in your throat.

“Have for a while, if I’m to be honest…” he added in a whisper. “Look… I know you were drunk. And you probably didn’t think this through but… I can’t act as if nothing happened because… something did happen. And I liked it. Actually… actually, I loved it. And I don’t want to pretend otherwise. So… I don’t know what you want to do about that but…”

But he never finished his sentence. Instead, you held his face in both your hands all of a sudden, and pulled him down to you.

And this time, as you kissed him, you would remember it fully. Hell… how could you ever forget that kind of a kiss…

When you broke apart, forehead against forehead, you were holding each other so close, it was hard to guess where your body ended and where his started.

Ben cleared his voice.

“So… does that mean that… were I to ask you out… let’s say tomorrow night…?”

“I’m free tonight, if you’re interested.”

He laughed, and you soon joined him.

“You’re always in such a rush, Y/N…”

“I bet you like that about me.”

“No, not exactly. I rather love it, I think.”

He offered you a bright smile, still holding you close.

“I’m free as well tonight. But then… maybe you could stay for breakfast, too?”

You let out a mischievous chuckle.

“And who’s in a rush now, Ben, huh?”

[chicademartinica]

2023 Favorites

Come play favorites with me.

Favorite Korean BL: The Eighth Sense. / Runner up: Our dating Sim

Favorite Thai BL: Never let me go / Runner up: Moonlight Chicken

Favorite Japanese BL: The end of the world with you / Runner up: My Beautiful man eternal (Show +Movie)

Favorite Taiwanese BL: Kiseki Dear to me / Runner up: Stay by my side.

Best director(s): Inu Baek & Werner du Plessis for The Eighth Sense (Korea and Germany) EX AEQUO with Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaothong (Thailand) for FIVE SHOWS (BL or not everything Jojo does is QUEER): Never let me go / Never let me go Our Skyy 2/ The Warp effect / Only Friends / Dirty Laundry. To be noted and congratulated: OG Thai BL director Tee Sintanaparadee with his best work to date: I feel you linger in the air.

Best cinematography: Never let me go by Rat Rungruang (Thailand) / Runner Up: Moonlight Chicken ALSO by Rat Rungruang EX AEQUO Never let me go Our skyy 2 ALSO by Rat Rungruang.

Best use of color theory : The eighth sense GREEN.

Best score /musical moment (instrumental): “Save you from the Death” by Ruiqi Zhao. This song is so good it was used in two shows, airing at the same time, produced by the same man, on the same channel. We first hear it in Never let me go (episode 05) as Palm ravenously kisses Nueng (for a long long long long time) for the first time. AND THEN it’s back in Moonlight Chicken (episode 01) as Uncle Jim and Wen do everything but kiss under the moonlight. Aof and Jojo really said we both using it to be desperate and erotic and what of it. 10/10 no notes.

Runner up: “Refined enlightenment” by Howard Harper-Barnes in I feel you linger in the air (episode 07): The soaring strings that perfectly follows Jom’s arousal as he masturbates to the memory of the most erotic oil massage ever. Refined INDEED. // “Bleeding Signs” by Chris Shards in Never let me go (episode 05): Dark and moody indie rock rumbles as Nueng reels from his brutal outing, homophobia, and Ben’s betrayal before collapsing in Palm’s arms in the yellow of Bangkok polluted twilight.

Best score/ musical moment (with lyrics): “I can’t lose it all” by Ben Goldstein in The Eight Sense (episode 06) The singer belting “I’m losing my mind (…) I can’t lose it all” are the only words we hear for the last minutes of a great, hazy fugue of an episode. (Last spoken line: “To give you trauma” before the lovers start kissing.) Jae Won and Ji Hyun make love and when the song stops, I was left with greys waves, panic, and a burning “JAE WON WERE YOU OR WERE YOU NOT HIGH OUT OF YOUR MIND FOR ALL OF THIS? Was that song a call back to “Where is my mind” of Fight Club fame just to play with our nerves? Good times. //Runner up: “Monsoons” by Johannes Bornlöf and Le June in Never let me go. This song plays for two minutes straight as Palm sways drunkenly in his lover’s arms as he reels from his mother’s violent death. “Monsoon rain and chest pains”, blurry lens and sloppy, tear-soaked kissing. Peak lakorn.

Favorite couple: PalmNueng in Never let me go. // Runner up : KingUea in Bed Friend.

Favorite chemistry: PondPhuwin as Palmnueng, GMMtv true hidden gem. Runner up: Nat Chen and Jiang Dian as Chen Yi and Ai Di in Kiseki Dear to me.

Favorite individual performance: Film Thanapat in Laws of Attraction// Runner up: Mix Sahaphap in Moonlight Chicken.

Most beloved actor this year: Mark Pakin.

Favorite Ensemble: Moonlight Chicken // Runner up: The Warp Effect

Favorite mother figure: Grandma in Laws of Attraction. Amazing actress, well written (Grieving!) character. // Runner up: Ji Hyun’s boss in The eighth sense.

Favorite friendship: Pat and Chot in Step by Step! Pat’s whole friend group! // Runner up: Alex and Army in The Warp Effect.

Favorite siblings: The Gu siblings in Stay by my side. // Jeng and Jaab in Step by Step.

My hatred for you knows no bounds: Uea’s "mother" in Bed Friend. // Runner up: Phupha in The Promise EX AEQUO Tae Hyung in The eighth sense.

Most beloved character: Palm! My sweet boy! // Runner up: King! MY King!

Favorite “I love you”: “I LOVE YOU UNCLE JIM” Li Ming in Moonlight Chicken.

Favorite proposal: Charn being a lawyer and a marriage equality advocate while Tinn is just trying to marry the nutjob in Laws of Attraction.

Favorite wedding: TinnCharn and the baby’s doll on the chair (Tears!). Runner up: Palmnueng marrying by proxy while being guests at a gay wedding.

The category is “Boohoo snot bubble I’m dazed and crying”: The eighth Sense. Runner up: Moonlight Chicken.

The category is “I’ve watched this scene without breathing.”: Ji Hyun’s reaching for Jae Won’s hand in The eighth sense ep 09 // Runner up: Ki Tae confronting Lee Wan in episode 04 of Our dating Sim.

The category is “My cheeks are hurting I’m smiling so much”: Our dating Sim // Runner up: Love tractor.

Punchline: “Have you been well? Without me?”  Ki Tae to Lee Wan Our dating Sim / “I miss you so much. I miss you so much” Fan Ze Rui to Bai Zong Yi Kiseki Dear to me.

Funny punchline: “You only love me when you do me.” Cher to Boss in A boss and a babe. // Runner up: “We can continue as a throuple” Rando in Laws of attraction.

Erotic honorific: “Call me Hia Win. Hia Win.” In Between Us. // “Can you tell Nong Cher what your present is Phi Gun” or “Phi Jeng” for “The kinkification of Phi” in A boss and a Babe and Step by Step.

The category is ‘What is this?!! A 90’s Yaoi Manga ?!!”: Kim Jong Chan’s (Korean actor Kwon Hyuk) Yaoi hands holding his lover’s whole head in his palm as they kiss in The New employee. // Runner up: Cho Jun’s ( Ki Hyun Woo) in a an all-black suit in Jun & Jun.

The category is "Whew why was this so hot ?" : Charn obscenely rubbing Tinn's arm up and down while Tinn is trying to punch him in Laws of Attraction// Runner up : Jae Won manhandling Baby Mouse by the straps of his backpack in The eighth sense.

Best smile: First Kanaphan as Sand in Only Friends // Nat Chen and his dimple as Chen Yi in Kiseki Dear to me.

Unfathomable eyes: Pond Naravit and his under-eye mole in Never let me go EX AEQUO Net Siraphop in Bed Friend.

Favorite dream sequence: Baby Ye Chan’s first erotic dream in Love Tractor.

Favorite kiss (on the lips): Palmnueng last kiss on the beach in episode 12 of NLMG. It’s soft and super erotic, there’s a bit of tongue, a bit of teeth and they are both shivering like crazy. Pondphuwin killed it and the magnificent Thai scenery finished it// Runner up: Bostonnick against the wall at the back of the store. Surprisingly Nick was the aggressor but was still moaning loud as hell. Neomark punched me in the face with their chemistry and hunger. Give them a good show and let them kiss. A lot.

Favorite kiss (not on the lips). Nueng burying his face between Palm’s shoulder blades to kiss his tattoo in the finale of NLMG. // Ze Rui rubbing and kissing Zong Yi’s beauty mark every chance he gets in Kiseki dear to me.

Favorite sniff kiss (special Thailand): Uncle Jim inhaling Wen’s face in Moonlight Chicken. Possibly the most erotic sniff kiss I have ever seen, shout out to Earth. // Runner up: Winteam having a HEAVY ratio of sniff kisses in their make-outs in Between Us.

Favorite neck kiss: Bed Friend’s King is the BL best neck kisser, licker, biter ever. Net being shorter than James made this even more enjoyable. // Ray being obsessed with Sand’s neck in Only Friends.

Favorite make out: JengPat car make out in Step by Step. Whew. // Runner up: WinTeam locker room make out. Whew.

Favorite erotic moment: Win seducing Team and making sure he is sober, single, and horny while fogging up the room in Between Us. // Runner up: I feel you linger in the air oil massage than orgasm to the memories of said oil massage.

Favorite O scene: Songkhram and Ai making love in Destiny Seeker. Who knew 69ing could be so cute? // Runner up: Ritsu and Masumi, I quote “going at it like monkeys” in The end of the world with you. Ritsu was a fuckboy from space but also like, a Japanese sex God.

Favorite cuddles: Winteam. In bed. Every single scene in Between Us // King clinging to Uea, dead asleep in the crook of his neck in Bed Friend.

Favorite hug: Li Ming hugging a sobbing Heart in Moonlight Chicken.

Favorite tears: WinTeam devastating sobs after Win saves his boo from drowning.

Favorite lift off: Ai Di spending one third of the show being carried by Chen Yi. // Runner up: Joke carrying Zo like he is not also 6ft1 in Hidden Agenda.

Favorite food : Love Mate's orgasmic post sex burgers and fries in episode 04.

That's my too long list of 2023 favorites. Hope you enjoy. @absolutebl and all of you booes are welcome to use the categories you like, please tag me in your lists. To a very bisexual (AND VAMPIRIC) 2024 together.

Chica.

[thefamousbeatricebook]

My Dream, DREAM cast for ACOTAR. (Part 1.)

A little bit of clarification. I know in the book there are race equivalents to the real world (I think) , but this is just FACE and what I'd imagined each guy to look like becuzz.... well you'll see.

ALSO. I realise not all of these Men are the same person- but they're vibes are LEGIT who I imagined when reading.

FIRST UP, TAMLIN :

(Malcom lindberg)

(Tom Heukels)

(I actually don't know the name of this guy- but if you do~)

TARQUIN💗 (I stopped searching for names unless the pinterest pic had it. I got sick of surfing through images btw) :

(If they don't cast Mukasa kakonge I'm leaving.)

(BITCH. THIS IS TARQUIN. THIS. IS. TARQUIN. STOP LYING. SOMEONE CONTACT S.J.M. THIS WHOLE CAST IS GOING TO BE MODELS. I'M TALKING TEEN WOLF LEVEL OF MODEL CASTING. NO JOKE. MUKASA KAKONGE.)

( @w3tte, "A smile I could fall in love with!)

(This, but with white braids. Like someone contact the casting director, because bitch I FOUND HIM.)

(His hair is always tied up like this, and no one can convince me otherwise. The fan-arts did this to me.)

Helion (In my mind.. he's always looked like one of these two men. Def darker than the 2nd pic though. I always imagined him as Persian, or Arabian- maybe even Spanish or portuguese? I'm not sure if S.J.M did it strictly though.) :

This. This is who he is.

The jawline, the facial hair- the muscles.. spot on. I hope S.J.M really does deliver with that high lord inclusivity.

I know Pedro probably, okay maybe def- wouldn't play Helion. But this is Helion incarnate. I can just see this Man propositioning for a three-way with Azriel, Cassian and Mor, bitch.

Thesan :

(Does he even need introduction? Paing takhon. Thesan's always, always been Asian in my mind. I think it's canon AND accepted too so. )

(At this point. I want him to be RHYS in my imaginary movie with my imaginary dream actoar cast just so he gets more screen time...*In my head)

(uGH. I can't decide. Adarsh Jaikarran.)

( Pratik Shetty. This in golden clothes.

LUCIEN (I'M GOING TO GET DEATH THREATS. YES, THEIR NATIVE AMERICAN. I KNOW, BUT YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT THIS IS NOT THE FACE OF LUCIEN VANSERRA EVERYBODY- THE SMIRK, THE LIPS, THE EYES>... And would it be so bad to cast a Native american actor as Lucien? or even have Beron be Native American? I don't think it would be. ) :

(Booboo stewart. He's the one I want, oh so badly. I can see this the first time him and Feyre go riding. )

(I'll fight to the grave. Bitch. I will. "If I give you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss too?")

(This man. Snarling at Tamlin, leaving the doors wide open for Feyre to hear "For a guy with a heart of stone-", YES.)

Okay. So, Mr Stewart is perfect yes. But this is a dream cast, no? and who did I imagine the first time I picked up the book? Who's smirk was I talking about in the disclaimer? A name bitch. That name's Billy wirth.

This. This was, and is, what I imagined Lucien vanserra to always, always be.

Don't tell me you disagree.

Imagine, the mask- the hair. Red and gold. The russet eye. If the Harry potter fan-casts could make Ben barnes, who's almost FIFTY into sirius black...Billy wirth is MY lucien.

I'll be making a second post for who's next, bitches. Part 1.

Wait till I hunt down Azriel's fancast.

[thesmokingguns]

Picking Peach Chapter One

Warning: Minors DNI 18+ does have a small oral sex scene, talks of age gap, mental health, cheating

Word Count: 6470

A/N: Sorry this is so long. Part one is here and I plan on writing more of this this weekend. I hope you all like it <3

July 16, 2021

Ben POV

Peach? Who was this Peach everyone was posting pictures of and wishing a happy birthday to? All these pictures of a pretty blonde with a smile on her face that could solve all the problems of the world. She was gorgeous and that was putting it lightly. She seemed to know everyone but why didn’t I know her?

There were pictures of her out, never a drink in hand but always in some shade of pink like she was a young Anna Nicole Smith. She seemed younger than 27, but that was what everyone was wishing her. A happy 27th. 13 years younger than me. Lucky 13. Her arms around Instagram models and her arms around rockstars. And her lips on…Nikki SIxx? Well… that didn’t seem to fit.

A quick follow on Instagram before some  more web sleuthing and it turns out she had been with him for nearly a decade. The age difference of thirty six years made me blow out a breath. Even in Gold Diggers the age difference hadn’t been that big. This was a lifetime. 

But the way she looked up at him and how he looked at her…he knew that he had something in her. Lucky old man. 

Still…

‘Happy Birthday “Peach”. Surely that can’t be your real name?’ 

I sent the Instagram DM, looking around the airport like someone would know I had flirted with someone else's girlfriend. Was I flirting? Maybe.

My heart leapt when I saw that she added me back, a quick red heart from liking my message showed up and my pulse quickened as I waited, watching her type and then ‘Thank you. Haha. Nikki called me Peach years ago and it just stuck.’

No name. Nothing and for some reason I hated the idea of calling her Peach. I needed to know her real name.

‘But if you promise not to tell a soul…Sasha Jade.’

I smirked at this, licking his lips as he tasted the smile on my face. My  fingers typing out a new message to her. I just needed more, this magnet pulling me towards her for some reason as I waited for my flight back to LA

‘I’ll take it to the grave. Happy Birthday, Sasha Jade.’

She didn’t respond, just liked the message but it was enough for me now.

Peach POV

My real name. What a curious thing to ask for. I sat back, smirking at the idea of someone in the world knowing me by my name and not a nickname that Nikki had given to me years ago and I had got stuck with. How curious Ben Barnes was. This handsome British actor I vaguely knew about. Very handsome. Very good looking. Not young young but young enough that Peach was interested.

“You’re smiling at your phone, birthday girl.” Nikki’s hands were on my shoulders as he leaned in kissing my cheek. My hands went over his hand as I closed my phone not needing him to squint over my shoulder at what I was doing.

I was so tired lately.

“Mhh, Sami was texting me about LA being too crowded. She is buying a house in Colorado so she can survive the zombie apocalypse she is sure is coming any day now.” he laughed into my ear and i forgot all about that man sliding into my DM, turning to wrap my arms around Nikki, feeling his lips on mine as he kissed me. 

It was nice being home. 

The pandemic last year had been a difference in our lives. Before the pandemic we would travel and get to see the world together. But being forced to stay still as the world went to hell changed us. Nikki was looking for things to do and my anxiety got out of hand. I was so nervous doom scrolling the news that I had to go to a new therapist and NIkki insisted that I do an inpatient at a private hospital for a week until I calmed down. 

It wasn't the first time Nikki had guided me like this. Sometimes my feelings were too much and he needed me to take a break. But sometimes it made me afraid thinking when I would feel too much again. 

“I might go lay down for a bit.” Nikki was pulling away, frowning at me as I said this and I wondered what I had said that was wrong

“Really, Peach?” I blinked, confused as I saw the way his face darkened, “You know I’ve been working on my book. I took today off for your birthday and you just want to sleep?” he scoffed as I stood up, wrapping my arms around myself as I watched him walk away from me, having to chase after him. 

It was always me running after him.

“Nikki, please. What do you want to-”

“I’m going to write Peach. Enjoy your nap.” his office door shut as I frowned, pressing my hands to my eyes as I thought about screaming. 

Everyone thought I got everything I wanted but all I got was locked doors and the taste of my own tears. It was nine years with Nikki this coming September and yet instead of being solid I felt shakier than ever. 

He would be touring again and I felt sick at the thought; when I was 21 Nikki toured in 2015. I was finishing up school and couldn’t come with him but it was when Instagram was big, so I saw the pictures of him cheating on me online. It was the first time my emotions got too big for Nikki and he found me a pretty little place to stay in Malibu where they kept me calm and I talked about how I could be better. 

I forgave him. Of course I did. He had taken care of me and I was young, and thought it was my fault for not being there. I took the blame for his faults. 

But now…thinking of the tour he was going on again…I was sick. 

Pulling the blanket over my head I breathed in and out, pulling out my phone and feeling my cheeks pink as I reached for my airpods, pressing them in as I started scrolling through Instagram. 

Why had Ben Barnes DM’d me?

Mutual people we followed. Posts he might have seen. And- Oh…a like on a picture from 2015. What a finger slip. I smirked as I slid back to my DM’s, glad he was looking at my pictures so I didn’t make this awkward.

‘Deep Diving, I see. Anything you’re looking for?’

Ben POV

Fucking bloody hell. 

I had been jostled on the plane and my damned finger hit a photo, liking it. And not even ten seconds later there was a message from Sasha showing up to show that this was not going unnoticed and she knew I was looking at all her photos.

‘I am thoroughly embarrassed. And to be caught so soon… Aren’t you celebrating your birthday?’ 

Downside was that I looked like a crazy person liking old posts but the plus side was that she was talking to me. 

‘To overshare I’m having a Lesley Gore sort of birthday.’

My frown settled on my face. That wasn’t a very good birthday. I looked around, thankful for the privacy of first class as I held up my phone, singing into it. She deserved a Happy Birthday song sung to her. I wasn’t going to overthink it, just sing ‘Happy Birthday to Sasha’ and sending the voice memo.

This was overstepping a line. But she looked gorgeous in her pictures and I was curious as to why this beautiful girl was with an old man…

Shit.

Shit. What happens if he is with her and hears me singing happy birthday to his girl? What was I thinking? Why can’t I resist a pretty face why could I-

‘You’re an angel, Ben Barnes.’

An angel.

I smirked, tasting the smile on my lips again as I eased back in my seat and started sending more messages to her, wanting to hear all about her. I could only learn so much from pictures. What I hadn’t expected was the flight from New York to LA to be filled with learning about her, sharing stories as fast as our fingers could type.  We exchanged selfies, mine on the plane, pillow around my neck and her in bed, an oversized hoodie on and just pretty eyes poking out for me to see. 

She should be dancing for her birthday, enjoying the day and seeing her alone in bed as she deflected saying that she didn’t want to go out made me think there was a lot I didn’t know, a lot to learn about Sasha. 

But I felt like we were friends now, so that was a huge step in a short time. I just had a feeling we were destined to be more than that.

Especially when she gave me her number and the invitation to let her know when I got home safe.

Nikki POV

Looking up I realized my office was bathed in darkness. My neck heart from typing and I pulled off my glasses, rubbing the bridge of  my nose, realizing that I had spent the better part of the day holed up in here writing. I had gotten a ton done but I was shocked that Peach hadn’t snuck in, looking for attention. Especially since it was her birthday.

Her birthday which she had chosen to spend alone.

Peach had been sad lately. The type of sad that sometimes called for trips to the doctors to make her feel better. Poor Peach. My sweet broken girl who needed help putting a smile on her face.

I hadn’t even given her the gifts I had gotten for her. 

Pushing up from the chair I stretched, feeling the kinks in my back as I moved my body, stretching as I grabbed the bags from the closet, shuffling upstairs. I expected to hear quiet but instead I heard soft laughter and the sound of the TV on. My eyebrows furrowed together as I saw Peach, smiling as she watched something on TV, her phone to her ear as she laughed again, a smile on her face that I had forgotten she had. 

Her eyes landed on me and I watched it crumble. Her hand going to the remote to pause the show, some Game of Thrones looking thing. 

“I..I’m sorry I have to go. Thank you for calling and letting me know you were safe. And thank you for the Happy Birthday…it was…thank you. Bye-Bye.” she hung up, tucking her phone under her as she looked at me, all big eyes and pretty pout as she crawled over the bed, making that oversized hoodie she was wearing look more like lingerie than anything else. “I gave you lots of time to work on your book. Are you happy with me, daddy?” I groaned as I set her presents on the bed, taking Peach in my arms and kissing her deeply. 

She roped her arms around me, pulling me against her as I laid her down on the bed, wanting to make up for ignoring her. I Wanted her to know that I was sorry. Wanting to-

“Can I open my presents?” she was biting her lip, giving me that spoiled little smirk of hers and I knew I couldn’t say now. She was delighted as she dove in. tearing packaging off designer packages and clapping her hands with delight. 

I loved watching Peach be spoiled.

“Nikki!” She threw herself in my arms kissing me all over as I held her. Breathing her in, “Thank you.” Her voice was muffled against my chest, her eyes on me sparkling as I sighed, hands tangling with her hair, drawing her in and kissing her forehead.

My sweet Peach.

This book had be remembering moments of my life that I had wanted to forget, putting me in a state of constant go, trying to move away from the bad. Poor Peach was getting caught up in the running, reaching out to me as I swatted her away. 

But I am here with her now.

“Let me take you out, Peach. For your birthday, please?” We could still have dinner. I could save this. I could make this better. She looked at me, nodding her head. A sigh of relief leaving my lips as she scared away to her closet and I plopped down on the bed. 

Her work cell phone came out from under her pillow and my eyebrows furrowed. Peach’s main cell phone was on my plan and she barely ever used her ‘LA phone’ as she called it. My eyes glanced at the closet where I could hear her bustling around and licking the corner of my lips as I picked it up. Shocked when I saw that it was locked. 

“Peach? Were you working?” I heard the stillness as she poked her head out of the closet, looking at me with a smirk on her face.

“I’m always working.” she teased. “Give me five minutes and I should be done.” she was ducking back inside her closet as I locked at the locked phone again, feeling like something wasn’t quite right with all of this. 

Would Peach lie to me?

“We’re still going to LA in October for your book launch?” she asked a moment later stepping out of the closet. It took Peach less than five minutes and she looked like a goddess, making me forget all the curiosity as I lost myself in her beauty.

She was in a pink dress, see through on her stomach with feathers over her breasts, it was short with her legs shimmering with freshly applied lotion I wanted to  kiss off and high heels. Her blonde hair was down as she tilted her head putting in crystal big earrings. She had managed to do her makeup, simple but showing off my beautiful girl.

Sometimes it felt like beauty and the beast with her.

“Yeah, did you still want to come?” I asked as she made her way over to me, sitting down on my knee as she pulled at the lapels of my blazer, that smirk of hers driving me crazy as I breathed in the thickness of her perfume.

“I want to go everywhere with you, daddy.” She teased, leaving pink lipstick against my lips as she kissed me, slow and sensual. So unlike the hot and heavy kisses Peach and I usually shared as she slowed things down.

My hands rub her, wanting her as she smirks against my lips pulling away as I groan, reaching for her and pulling her back to me. She wasn’t going anywhere and she knew that. 

I needed her and when I needed Peach that’s all I could think of.

…..

September 2021

Peach laughed as she looked at Ben. He threw his hands up at her, joining in with her laughter as she tucked a strand behind her ear. They had started in DM’s around Peach’s birthday, switching to text shortly after, then phone calls and now were in the Facetime era or their friendship. Some (Ben) would declare they were best friends and tease her about how he would get bracelets made for them. BUt it was true. They would Facetime for hours each day as the other just existed. Sharing space with each other, wanting to just be in the presence of each other.

Like now.

Ben was driving to the grocery store, a mundane task, and singing along to whatever was on the radio. His latest rendition of Single ladies having her laughing as she sat outside, knowing Nikki wouldn’t hear her since he was recording his audiobook in the cabin on the other side of the property. It was too loud in the kitchen since renovations were being made after Peach had accidently set it on fire the week before.

As she tucked her hair Ben caught sight of the bandages and remembered the frantic call she had given him. She was crying, unsure what to do. He had walked her through putting out the fire, trying to get her to stop crying before asking where Nikki was. It was the first time he had said the man's name out loud and it hurt worse when he had to tell Peach to go to him because he was sure she had gotten hurt enough that she needed to go to the hospital to treat her burns.

“Are you okay?” he asked her and she nodded her head, feeling stupid for what happened the week prior. No one was mad at her but she had managed to scare everyone with her carelessness. “Are you still coming to LA next month?” She nodded her head, reaching for her water to take a long drink. 

She was trying to ignore this conversation but he wasn’t going to allow her to pretend like this couldn’t change their lives. Ben was no fool and very aware that he wanted to meet her in person.

But he knew it would change everything, just like Peach did.

“We can’t meet. You know that and please don’t make me say why.” Ben wanted to hear her say why. Wanted to know that he wasn’t crazy and that she was feeling it too. That this could happen if she opened up about it, “Plus Nikki’s keeping me on a short leash. He wants me to go on the whole tour and I just don’t want to be traveling like that.” Ben was surprised she was talking about Nikki in a negative way.

Sometimes she would let out tidbits of her unhappiness but to say she was on a short leash and give him more clarity shocked him. 

“You get motion sick. Not a great thing in a tour bus.” Peach blinked, surprised that he remembered that and grateful that when she spoke someone listened to her. “Maybe you need to break the leash. Stay in your condo. Oh, about that. I went over and checked the place for you. I picked up the keys. You said you were just changing the locks but I wanted to be thorough.” Two people other than Peach knew about the condo she had in LA. Her best friend Sammie and now Ben. 

She had always kept it separate not wanting NIkki to get ideas about her real estate and try to take over. Since her and Nikki did keep some finances separate she never thought of it as a lie. 

“Thank you for doing that, you’re the best Ben Barnes.” He smiled at her, posing so she would laugh again, “Are you going to Trader Joes? That’s no fair!” He knew she always craved things from the store and planned to stock her condo for when she came to LA in a couple weeks. He wanted her to be able to use this trip to realize that she didn’t have to stay in Wyoming, like a princess stuck in a tower. 

Sasha had options.

“Just move to LA and you can come shopping with me. I’ll even let you push the trolley.” She laughed at him and he knew he had used a word wrong, “What? What did i-”

“Are you on the phone with Sammie?” Peach ripped out the headphones, Ben watching the color drain from her face as she hung up with him, “On your work phone? What’s wrong with your regular phone? Did you smash the screen in a tantrum again?” He was teasing her and Peach had to put on her good girl face.

“You have time for me now, Daddy?” Her hands were out, pulling Nikki down on the couch, running her fingers through his hair as he made a soft hmm sound of content with her arms around him. 

Peach softened at this, some of her doubts melting away as she felt him. Nikki was exhausted and she felt bad knowing he was trying to use the rest of his life to make all his dreams come true, to leave a legacy. BUt sometimes she felt like there wasn’t enough room for his dreams and to love her. 

“Nik?” he made a hmm sound in response, “Do you love me?” He chuckled at this, turning to look up at her, his eyes on Peach who he could see was spiraling lately. Peach who got trapped in her head and made things worse than what they were. His sweet Peach girl looked at him and seemed so desperate as she asked him if he loved her and she meant it, she looked like she didn’t know. 

“Peach, you’re my everything.” He said with a sigh, pulling up her shirt and kissing her stomach, “You’re the love that makes it all worth it.” he was closing his eyes as he kissed her soft stomach again.

She was laying on the couch, worried that it wasn’t enough.

October 2021 

October came and Nikki looked at Peach with her several suitcases she was wheeling like this wasn’t an insane amount of shit to bring for a week trip to LA. He wanted to make a comment about how she was over packing but Peach had been in a weird mood for months and claimed it was work related. 

She was working more. Nikki couldn’t deny that. Her work phone forever in her hands as she typed away. She was doing more brand deals too and he knew she had several projects she was working on when they were in LA. It was one of the first trips that they were going on that had them both planning different things. On one hand Nikki was thankful he wouldn’t have to deal with his pouty princess but on the other hand he was worried that she was overworking herself and would have a breakdown.

“Peach, it’s like you’re moving out.” She looked up at him, a flash of emotion that made his stomach knot on her face before it was masked over and she laughed at him, leaning in to kiss him.

“With the tour coming up I want to make sure I have enough stuff to pack since we’re leaving from LA. Plus cleaning out my closet at home means you can buy me new pretty things.” she teased him.

But Peach had already planned to have six of the bags delivered to her condo in LA that she kept separate from Nikki. She had been using it as additional income as a rental but her tenant had left at the end of August and Peach planned to fix it up a bit. Things weren’t going right and she believed in having an escape plan in all situations. 

Nikki treated Peach like a spoiled child but at the end of the day she was worth a few million and had a steady income from her online involvement along with her counseling work she did at a law firm. Which she was going to extend while in LA to see if she could build her worth in case she needed to have more cash on hand. Peach wasn’t stuck in Neverland, the Peter Pan fantasy that she was sure that Nikki had managed to get stuck in at one point. She was growing up and out of being Peach, especially with Nikki not having the time or patience with her anymore. 

Peach had a rough life and she never wanted to be as unprepared as she was as a teenager. She harbored a lot of fear of having everything go to hell like it had then and promised herself that she would always land on her feet.

And there was also the Ben situation. Ben who claimed to be her best friend and knew more about her than Nikki did at this point. Ben who left her voice messages of songs he was working on that made her shiver. Ben who had laughed when she told him it was 11:11 to make a wish and yet texted her every 11:11 he was awake for, letting her know he was making wishes. Ben who made Peach feel like herself and not something Nikki had created.

They had managed to stay friends. Just friends because they had never met but now Peach was on a flight to LA and her heart was in her throat as she thought about Ben who she had told more than she should have about Nikki. Ben who had told her she would need to make a decision one day and he would support her either way. Ben who had just left her a voice message as she sat next to Nikki on the plane.

‘Sasha, your fact of the day is about the Horned lizard. The scientific name is Phrynosoma, which I used google to learn how to say . The Horned lizard can shoot blood out of its eyes, up to three feet away. This rather disgusting act is used as a defense and to confuse predators away. Ta-ta now darling. Safe travels.’ 

Peach kept her face straight, glancing over at Nikki who was typing out messages to people he would visit in LA, getting all the time in with friends he had made along the way. There would be dinners she would need to sit through and places she would smile and get her picture taken at. Nikki claimed he hated LA, talked about what a rat race it was but at the same time when he was there he lived a life he was excited about and Peach could always feel the difference in his moods. 

His hand landed on her thigh and she looked at his fingers, worn and tattooed. No ring on his finger. Peach sighed, her hand going over his as she laid her head against Nikki’s shoulder, loving when he remembered she was there and wishing she wasn’t always so desperate to have his attention.

“I have some surprises for you in LA, Peaches and cream. You’ve been such a good girl about being patient with this whole process. I couldn’t have done it without you. And it’s overdue that you get a little spoiled, right?” he teased her gently as she turned her head, burying herself in Nikki’s chest. 

Peach felt guilty. Guilty that she had a friend who made her smile, who she turned to because he always had time for her. Made sure of that. And yet he wasn’t next to her right now. No, she was with Nikki. The love of her life and Peach hated worrying about if that was true. Was he the love of her life? Because she often felt like she wasn’t his. 

Horned lizards shoot blood out of their eyes but Peach’s just cry.

NIKKI POV

It had been crazier than I had expected in LA. Peach had been less of a pouty brat than I expected and more of a shadow of a person. But I could see it on her face tonight that she was ready to rumble.

“We have two nights left in LA, Nik. And I haven’t seen you at all. Not one dinner. Not one date. Nothing and…what is that?” her head tilted to the side as she looked at the envelope I had in my hand, waving at her in a teasing manner. “Nikki! What is it?” She was dancing around me, her silk robe fanning out as I held it over my head, watching her smile as she wrapped her arms around me, kissing me on the chin to soften me.

“It’s a surprise. We’re going to a show tonight that's more jazz sort of lounge music. And I’m taking you out for dinner to have some one on one time with you.” I leaned in, kissing her as she squealed delighted as she pulled me in, long kisses as I let my hands roam despite knowing we didn’t have the time. I could make time for this. “Show daddy how happy you are with him, Peach.”

She looked at me, trying to hide her shock with a smile as she pressed down into the floor of our bedroom. Hands coming up to undo my jeans as her eyes glanced down at my cock, stroking me as I reached out, hand tangling with her hair. The way she gasped, my tip pushing into her lips catching her off guard.

Perfect.

Peach sucked me, hard as she stroked my shaft, using her lips as she moaned around me letting her tongue roll around my cock as she whimpered around me. She was Pulling off me with a pop, eyes up as she looked at me, stroking me with her lips still plump.

“Lay down, daddy. I want to sit on your face while I suck your cock.” Of course she wanted me to please her too.

I held her thighs, pushing her apart as my tongue slid into her, feeling her moans around my shaft as she choked sliding down me a little further. It had been too long since she had wanted to climb on my face like this and I realized just how starved I was for it. My fingers pressing into her weeping hole as she cried out. 

I knew Peach’s body like no other. I could do things to her that she had only experienced with me. I loved how she trembled on me, throwing herself into swallowing the spit and precum as she tried to go deeper and deeper around me. So needy.

“Daddy,” she gagged around me as she shook out, swallowing loads of cum i was depositing into her mouth. Her own body propped up by my hands as she came against my tongue, giving herself up to me. 

Peach crawled over, laying against my chest as she had her eyes half closed, ready to take her nap after exhausting herself.

“Tonight is a date night, Peach. No work phone.” she tensed in my arms for a second before nodding her head, pushing off the bed as she stood up, picking up her phone, hesitating for a second before turning it off and putting it in the bedside drawer.

“I’m all yours, NIk. Come shower with me.” her hands were held out and her pout was welcoming me in. 

My sweet Peach. I was going to make sure I took time for moments like this more. I hadn’t been the man my girl needed and I needed to fix that.

One surprise ata  time.

Peach POV

Ben was staring at me. That sneaky British fucker who looked so good in a suit that my mouth watered like I was hungry. His eyes were locked on mine as he sipped his scotch and he didn’t have the grace to look away. Nikki was on my arm, holding a bottle of water as I held my purse with two hands to keep them busy, wondering why out of all the shows Nikki wanted to go to we ended up here.

He was walking towards us? Eyes eating me up as I wished he didn’t look at me like that. Giving me knots in my stomach as I thought of how I should have never started talking to him.

“Great show man.” Ben smirked at Nikki, taking his eyes off of me as I melted in place, wishing Nikki had not insisted on coming backstage. “I’m Nikki. This is my girl P-”

“Sasha Jade.” I looked up, wide eyed as I heard my name spoken for what seemed like the first time in a decade. He smirked at me, leaning in and kissing my cheek, the bristle of his beard as we breathed each other in. Ben shifted to kiss my other cheek, so close that his lips just brushed over mine as he turned his head and I caught his eyes knowing it was done on purpose.

My head reached out for his bicep to steady myself as I thought about how incredibly small this room was and how I was ready to faint.

Nikki was there though and I let go of Ben as he pulled up, eyes giving me all the emotion I needed to see to know that this was a situation I didn’t need to be in with Nikki. He was already looking at Ben, trying to make sense of what he had just called me and how he knew me. 

“I followed Sasha on Instagram a whole or so ago. I didn’t think Peach was her real name.” He looked from me up to Nikki and I wanted to leave. Very badly. The guilt I felt for Dming with him for the past few months was bubbling in my stomach and I felt like I was going to puke. 

Nikki was pushing him into conversation, telling him a story about how he had played the Troubadour a million times and talking all about the 80’s and his glory days. Because of course that’s what he talked about when my feet ached in the heels and I was dying of thirst.

Ben kept eye contact with Nikki as he stepped toward the bar, grabbing a water and a barstool, pulling them back and handing me a drink as he nodded, keeping conversation with Nikki still. He held out a hand as he steadied the stool with his leg and helped me up on it, eyes still on Nikki as he listened to the story he was being told.

“Thank you.” I said softly, sipping my water as I finally rested my feet. I was exhausted, emotionally drained and wanted to scream.

“Did you already eat? I was headed back to my place soon and-“

“We ate already.” Nikki was short with him as Ben nodded his head, shaking Nikki’s hand and smiling at him. He knew that the time between them was done and anything extra would let him know to much. 

Was there too much?

“Thanks for coming to the show.” Ben was so short with him and then he turned to me, eyes sparkling as I felt myself want to shake my head. But he was smart, “Goodnight, Sasha.” I only could wave a few fingers as he walked away.

What. The. Fuck.

“Everyone follows you, Peach. It was strange hearing him use your name.” Nikki was oblivious to the puddle I was in and I was thankful for that small miracle. Finally willing myself to stand up, grabbing Nikki’s arm.

“I’m exhausted, Nik. And I have an early shoot time.” He nodded, at least understanding that I had to work. 

I wasn’t going to talk to Ben again. I needed to stop this because seeing him in person made my crush that much worse. But as I laid in bed listening to Nikki snore beside me I felt myself reaching for my phone, wishing to see a message from Ben, disappointed when I didn’t. 

And that disappointment scared me.

Ben POV

The show had left me on a high where I couldn’t sleep. Even after staying until the venue had kicked us all out I had managed to push through and stay up until the twilight hours. Maybe I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about Sasha, wishing she would text me first so I didn’t come off as too pushy.

She had looked…phh..

Exquisite.

I couldn’t stop thinking of her. The sheer black gloves, that silk dress hugging her body. All black like a midnight sky and she was the moon, lighting up the room. I had caught sight of her when I was singing, eyes meeting hers as I sang 11:11 for the person it was written for, watching her painted red mouth gasp and oh what a dream come true it had been, until I realized the nightmare that was beside her.

She had told me about him, careful words but when we video chatted her eyes would drift to the side, sad and sullen before she wanted to change the subject. There was something about him that gave off dirty old man vibes and I wondered why she was with him.But she loved him and I think part of her knew she always would. Sasha was growing, learning and I hoped she would soon realize that you can hold onto a love story even after it ends. 

We were friends but today, touching her and breathing her in. The way we looked at each other made it very, very clear what a terrible ruse this friendship was. This was a friendship where we pined for each other but I wouldn’t push her. No, if I pushed she would pull away.

‘You’re amazing. I don’t tell you that enough. You amazing, talented, handsome man. XXOO SJ’

Smiling at my phone like a fool. I wondered if she was in bed with him and my mood darkened as I put my phone down, turned away as i undid the button on my shirt and poured myself a drink. Looking out at LA I thought about the girl I knew I was going to fall in love with, very aware that she wasn’t ready for it. 

I closed my eyes, head tilting back as I pinched the bridge of my nose and thought about what I was going to do. I didn’t want to be just her friend but if that was all I could get would it be torture or could I make it enough? Was I not understanding her side of the situation as much?

I couldn’t quit her cold turkey and knowing how unhappy she was, how could I let her sit there, waiting for me to respond and get nothing back. I had to put my feelings aside and think of her. Someone had to think of her.

‘You’re exquisite. Getting to sing to you in a crowd of people, it was my dream come true. Sleep well, darling XX BB’

I hope as she read that she knew that she was my dream and that I was never going to stop chasing her.

It was a new day, the sunlight was rising over LA as I pulled my phone from my pocket holding it up to my mouth to leave her a voice message. 

‘The fact of the day, darling, is you’re the most ravishing girl I have ever seen. So blinded by your glow that I can’t close my eyes without seeing twinkling stars in your smile. I hope you’re sleeping, Sasha. I hope you only have swirls of good dreams dancing through your head. And if you wake up to this, Good morning and what a wonderful day I wish for you’

[froggywritesstuff]

character list

the title is self explanatory. this is a list of the characters i'll write for. it'll probably change over time, and if you see a character you'd like but don't see them on the list, just ask cause i might've forgotten about them

Hamilton

Eliza Schuyler

Angelica Schuyler

Peggy Schuyler

Maria Reynolds

Alexander Hamilton

John Laurens

Philip Hamilton

Lafayette

Hercules Mulligan

James Madison

Thomas Jefferson

Aaron Burr

Umbrella Academy

Viktor Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves

Klaus Hargreeves

Allison Hargreeves

Luther Hargreeves

Five Hargreeves

Ben Hargreeves (Umbrella or Sparrow)

Sloane Hargreeves

Jayme Hargreeves

Stranger Things

Will Byers (non female readers only)

Mike Wheeler

Lucas Sinclair

Dustin Henderson

Eleven Hopper

Max Mayfield

Robin Buckley (non male readers only)

Nancy Wheeler

Jonathan Byers

Steve Harrington

Eddie Munson

21 Chump Street

Justin Laboy

The Goldfinch

Boris Pavlikovsky

Theodore Decker

Marvel

Peter Parker (any actor)

Steve Rogers

Bucky Barnes

Sam Wilson

Makkari

Sersi

Sprite (platonic only)

Steven Grant

Marc Spector

Layla El-Faouly

America Chavez (non male readers only)

Kate Bishop

Yelena Belova (platonic only)

Shuri

Namor

Riri Williams

X-Men

Mystique

Kitty Pryde

Peter Maximoff

Rogue

In The Heights (movie version)

Usnavi de la Vega

Vanessa 

Nina Rosario

Benny

Sonny de la Vega 

Heathers

Veronica Sawyer

JD (Jason Dean)

Heather Chandler

Heather McNamara

Heather Duke

John Doe

John Doe

Ride The Cyclone

Noel Gruber (male or nb readers only)

Ocean O'Connel Rosenburg

Mischa Bachinski

Constance Blackwood

Ricky Potts

Hatchetfieldverse

Paul

Emma

Ted

Bill

Alice

Ruth

Pete

Richie

Max

Grace

Black Friday

Lex Foster

Ethan Green

Hannah Foster (platonic only)

Heartstopper

Charlie Spring (non female readers only)

Nick Nelson

Tara Jones (non male readers only)

Darcy Olsson (non male readers readers only)

Elle Argent

Tao Xu (non male readers only(headcanoning him as bi or pan is disrespectful and transphobic))

Tori Spring

Imogen Heaney

Isaac Henderson (platonic only)

Do Revenge

Eleanor Levetan (non male readers only)

Drea Torres

Deadpool

Wade Wilson/Deadpool

Wednesday

Wednesday Addams

Enid Sinclair

Bianca Barclay

Xavier Thorpe

Ajax Petropolus

Eugene Otinger

(young) Morticia Addams

(young) Gomez Addams

Beetlejuice

Lydia Deetz

Tomorrow When The War Began

Ellie Linton

Lee Takkam

Fiona Maxwell

Homer Yannos

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse/Across the Spider-Verse

Miles Morales

Gwen Stacy

Pavitr Prabhakar

Hobie Brown

Margo Kess

Miles G Morales (earth 42)

Miguel O’Hara

Maze Runner

Thomas

Newt (non female readers only)

The Broken Hearts Gallery

Lucy Gulliver

Nadine (non male readers only)

Nick Danielson

Treasure Planet

Jim Hawkins

Enola Holmes

Enola Holmes

Lord Tewkesbury

Turning Red

Mei Mei

Miriam

Abby

Priya

Raising Dion

Nicole Warren

Tevin Wakefield

Dion Warren (platonic only)

Julie and the Phantoms

Julie Molina

Luke Patterson

Reggie Peters

Alex Mercer (non female readers only)

Flynn

Carrie

Abbott Elementary

Janine Teagues

Jacob Hill (non female readers only)

Gregory Eddie

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake Peralta

Amy Santiago

Rosa Diaz

Love Victor

Victor Salazar (non female readers only)

Benji (non female readers only)

Felix Weston

Pilar Salazar

Lake Meriwether

Lucy

Mia Brooks

Andrew

In Treatment

Eladio

Laila

Spree

Kurt Kunkle

Once Upon a Time

Emma Swan

Regina Mills

Killian Jones

Mary Margaret Blanchard

David Nolan

Henry Mills

Mulan (non male readers only)

Graham

Neal Cassidy

Peter Pan

Jefferson

Dash and Lily

Dash

Lily

Boomer

Juno

Juno MacGuff

Paulie Bleeker

Summer Days Summer Nights

Debbie Espinoza

Frankie Espinoza

Scream (1 through 6)

Sidney Prescott

Billy Loomis

Mickey Altieri

Roman Bridger

Jill Roberts

Charlie Walker

Sam Carpenter

Tara Carpenter

Amber Freeman

Chad Meeks-Martin

Mindy Meeks-Martin

Quinn Bailey

Venom

Eddie Brock

Honest Thief

Ramon Hall

Beth Hall

Wild Child

Poppy Moore

Kate

Drippy

Freddie Kingsley

Monsters and Men

Manny Ortega

Marisol Ortega

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Trevor Spengler

Phoebe Spengler (platonic only)

Error 143

Micah Yujin

Community

Abed Nadir

Troy Barnes

Annie Edison

Jeff Winger

Britta Perry

The Obession

Logan

Delilah

The New Girl

Lia Setiawan

Stacey Hoffman

Mythic Quest

Poppy Li

Brad Bakshi

Adventure Time

Finn

Princess Bubblegum

Marceline

Marshall Lee

Prince Bubblegum

Flame Princess

School Spirits

Madison

Simon

Charley (non female readers only)

Wally

Rhonda

Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves

Simon Aumar

Disventure Camp

Aiden (non fem readers only)

James (non fem readers only)

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies

Jane Facciano

Olivia Valdovinos

Nancy Nakagawa

Cynthia Zdunowski

Richie Valdovinos

Ted Lasso

Ted Lasso

Roy Kent

Jamie Tartt

Keeley Jones

Sam Obisanya

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

Noah Diaz

Elena Wallace

Mirage

Helluva Boss

Blitzø

Stolas (non female readers only)

Loona

Millie

Moxxie

Octavia

Verosika Mayday

Fizzarolli

Asmodeus

Hazbin Hotel

Charlie Morningstar

Vaggie (non male readers only)

Angel Dust (non female readers only)

Husk

Alastor (platonic only)

Vox

Lucifer

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (rise + mutant mayhem + tmnt 2007 + tmnt 2012)

Donnie

Mikey

Raph

Leo

April

The After Party

Yasper Lennov

Space Force

Tony Scarapiducci

Renfield

Teddy Lobo

Robert Montague Renfield

Undercovers

Bill Hoyt

Amazing Digital Circus

Jax

Parks and Recreation

Leslie Knope

Ben Wyatt

April Ludgate

Andy Dwyer

Jean-Ralphio Saperstein

Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja

Randy Cunningham (18+ people DNI unless requesting platonic stories)

The Earliest Show

Josh Bath

House of Lies

Clyde Oberholt

Mean Girls (movie + musical + movie musical)

Cady Heron

Regina George

Gretchen Wieners

Karen Smith/Shetty

Janis Ian/Sarkisian/Imi'ike (non male readers only)

Damian Hubbard (non female readers only)

Warm Bodies

R

Peep World

Nathan Meyerwitz

Your Boyfriend

Peter Dunbar

[chvoswxtch]

👋 hi, i'm back again already :)

i'm so glad i'm not alone in being completely feral for those set pictures. like it's insane what just seeing them has done to my brain chemistry. i saw them like an hour or so before i had therapy on wednesday and i felt like i was going insane for the rest of the day. the frank brainrot is real and i will be binge-reading ur fics again (bc i love ur portrayal of frank and i need that man in my life) and just UGH, i can't even explain how this man makes me feel without sounding fucking nuts.

and okay after finishing season two, i just, i have no words. i know that the fandom doesn't always love amy but genuinely, she has such a special place in my heart. and the lengths that frank went to protect her actually just made me want to sob. he absolutely melts my heart and i remember when i watched the start of season 2 all the way back in like september last year, i literally sobbed at the end of the first episode after he had that conversation about maria with the woman he met at the bar. like i am such a simp for this man, it's insane how emotional i get over it sometimes.

also i know you've watched criminal minds (the two fics u wrote were absolutely delicious btw) so i feel like you will understand this but pilgrim's actor being the same as will's just made it slightly hard for me to take him seriously. like the actor did a phenomenal job but i just couldn't help but see him as will. it was so jarring and also just a little bit funny. either way, i didn't hate the storyline as much as i thought but the connection between him and the schultz family did seem a little jarring? or like out of the blue? but i'm not sure if that's because of the writing or because of how long it took me to actually finish the show. but i think it was such an interesting way to connect the two plots even if it confused me?

then okay, like billy this season, he was a complete fucking psycho and usually ben barnes can make psychos be so hot but after he and dumont tried to like break frank by making him think he killed innocents, bro i was not on this man's side anymore. like i honestly was so mad at him. i haven't like been that mad at a character in so long, i was concerned for myself. honestly, i could have strangled billy in that moment. also dumont was just such a kind of dull character? i think the scene in like episode 12 when dumont and madani are having that conversation about like the trauma she (and billy and frank) went through was so good but that was like the most interesting i found her. i'd love to know your thoughts on her!

and like madani? i can't talk about madani without going too feral. like her and frank are my definition of bisexual panic. any time they are on the screen together, i go insane. the thought of the two of them actually is just- it's too much. i feel like madani doesn't get a lot of love in the fandom which always makes me sad because she is (to me) a literal goddess. but anyway.

i have so many more thoughts (mainly about how much i love frank and how fucking good a job jon does at portraying him) but this is already such a long message. i am SO sorry, i can do nothing but apologise

(the only reason it's so long is because none of my friends have actually watched the punisher so i have no one to talk to. sorry court <3)

i'm gonna ramble below the cut with you, please step into my office <3

those set pictures are ruining my life. like it still feels surreal that it's happening?? but i'm so happy they listened to the fans and seem to be taking the reboot seriously. also I know how protective charlie and jon are over matt and frank, so I trust they're making sure it's done right. akjdfhdfh you're too nice to me pls

I loved season 2, personally. it felt a little rushed, but I think that has to due with the fact that they planned more storylines and got cancelled because of the disney plus thing. I liked that we got to see a more fatherly side of frank with amy because it added so many more layers to his personality. we got to see it with the micro's kids, but we got to see it so much more with amy and I loved that

OMG WHEN WILL SHOWED UP I WAS LIKE SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? WHERE IS JJ??? it's so funny you say that bc the first thing I saw that actor in was a horror movie and then criminal minds but I always think of those two when I see him lmao. the pilgrim/schultz storyline was a little strange but again I think it's one of those things where they planned for more and weren't able to do it with the cancellation

I did not care for dumont's character at all to be candid. I don't really feel like she added much to the storyline. my main complaint about billy in season 2 is he still looked too pretty LMAO. like I get it, it's ben barnes, they can only do so much, but frank rocked his shit too hard for him to have a few scratches. I would've preferred to see him be more evil and psycho and bloodthisty for revenge but that's just me

DINAH MADANI THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE. she and frank are the definition of bisexual panic. she's just...like that scene of her and karen in the conference room when she's asking her if she knows anything about frank being alive?? karen is a stronger woman than me bc I would've let her bend me over that table. dinah doesn't get enough love in this fandom and that doesn't sit right with me and I feel it is my civic duty to keep the thirst for her alive

pls don't apologize! I am happy to chat about frankie anytime :)

[author-a-holmes]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters

Thank you for the tag @morby

No rules attached to this one so I guess, just go for my faves (Without duplicating a fandom)... I feel like this is going to highlight at least one of my "types" but I guess I've outed myself on that front before rofl.

Tagging forward, with no pressure, to; @faelanvance, @cwritesfiction, @theunboundwriter, @arigalefantasynovels, @acertainmoshke, @avrablake, @ashen-crest, @sleepyowlwrites, @tisiphonewolfe, and anyone else who wants to play! <3

So, without further ado, my Favorite Characters in some of my favourite fandoms, in NO SPECIFIC ORDER...

One

Fandom; Doctor Who. Character; Doctor Who, Tenth Incarnation

David Tennant's run as The Doctor was my favourite. It was a magical combination of a phenomenal actor, a brilliant "companion", and A+ writing team, but it made me fall in love with the character as a whole. Smart, Intellligent, Alien, but also Vulnerable, and ineffably Human.

Two

Fandom; Marvel Cinematic Universe. Character; Tony Stark

And I do mean "Tony Stark", not "Iron Man". Don't get me wrong, Iron Man is cool, and is definitely my favourite Avenger, but it's because it's Tony Stark inside the suit. It's the intelligence of the character that, again, captivates me and as a writer I see so much potential there. If I wasn't so busy with my own writing projects I'd be very tempted to jump back into fandom again just to have a play with Tony Stark's possibilities.

Three

Fandom; Sherlock Holmes. Character; Sherlock

This one had to make the list considering my pen name! I've loved many of the Holmes adaptions, and but there's something specifically about Benedict Cumberbatch's Holmes where you can just see that brilliant mind ticking away behind his eyes.

Four

Fandom; The Mentalist Character; Patrick Jane

I thought the whole Mentalist story was phenomenal, and the backstory for the character of Patrick Jane, genuis. I also love how much Jane is aware that usually he's the smartest person in the room, but is also painfully aware when he's not.

Five

Fandom; Vincenzo Character; Vincenzo Cassano aka Park Joo-hyung

This is a newer addition to my list, and I've only seen the series once so my memory may be a little shaky, but this was another highly intelligent character. A little vicious, a little violent, but at heart also a good person, and I fell a little in love with the character every episode.

And now, let me pivot into my second "type"...

Six

Fandom; Lord of the Rings Character; Strider aka Aragorn son of Arathorn

The OG Fandom Fave, Lord of the Rings got me into fanfiction. I began my online writing career by writing a "10th Walker" fanfiction that never saw the light of day, because I've always found Arwen's character very frustrating. Then the films were released, and the rest is history. But give me Strider over the polished King Aragorn any day!

Seven

Fandom; Shadow and Bone (Netflix) Character; General Aleksander Kirigan aka The Darkling aka Aleksander Morozova

This one is a little more specific because I haven't read the books, so I have ZERO idea how accurate the series is to the original material, but Ben Barnes, specifically, as the Darkling is all my favourite things mixed up into one character. Smart, Intelligent, Damaged, Rough around the edges, In dire need of saving from himself. He's got it all.

Eight

Fandom; The 100 Character; Prince Roan of Azgeda

Another character that I feel had wasted potential! I think they could have done so much MORE with this character but, much like Shadow and Bone, I've not read the books! So it's possible Prince Roan had a bigger, better, for fulfilling part there than the TV Series.

Nine

Fandom; The Witcher Character; Geralt of Rivia

Look. I've loved Geralt forever. I loved him in the CDProjecktRed games. I bought the books, and loved him there, and then Henry Cavill went and made the 100% hands down perfect Geralt on screen. What more can I say?

Ten

Fandom; The Vampire Diaries/The Originals Character; Klaus Mikaelson

Is there a better example of a morally grey character? Not one I've found, to be honest. Klaus has a freaking tragic backstory, and it's completely twisted his worldview. Does he need a good smack upside he head to teach him that his methods are fucked? Absolutely. Does that make me love him any less? Absolutely not!

[maremartinelli]

DÓNDE ESTÁ EL AMOR?

Ben Barnes X fem!reader

Summary: In which Y/n and Ben are separated, but their characters in the series are not. As a result, there was a scene in which the two characters needed to reconcile, however, Y/n and Ben weren't acting at that time.

Words: 1.2K+

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, shouting (???), Ben worried and happy ending.

Author: Once again informing you that English is not my first language. I apologize for any mistakes I may have made.

MASTERLIST

When Y/n and Ben accepted the roles to act in The Punisher, they both knew that their characters would be a romantic couple throughout the series, and that this would not be a problem, the actor couple had already been dating in real life for more than two years. and they could just act normal in front of the cameras.

However, as filming for the series progressed, there were numerous obstacles that Ben and Y/n were facing in their relationship. Haters, fake betrayals and lots of fights when they got home stressed.

Which ended in a separation. They both knew it would be better this way, better for their health. But there was no way to forget it so quickly, it had been almost three years by each other's side, there was no way to forget the love of your life.

At the present time, Y/n and Ben were living in New York to finish the series, but of course, they were both in different apartments. Since now they were no longer a couple in real life.

Y/n and Ben were on the recording set, while the director told them how that scene should be done.

It was more than obvious that tension arose when the couple separated, after all, their characters were still a couple in love.

Two months had passed after their breakup, but they both looked so tired that it seemed like all the fighting, talking, and breaking up had happened the night before.

Ben was no longer happy on set. On the contrary, when he wasn't filming, he was just wandering aimlessly around the other sets on the set or reading a book that was always in his car.

Y/n wasn't any different either, her shine had gone out and whenever she had a break between scenes, she would run to the car and cry. She couldn't bear to see, record or hear Ben's voice in character without thinking about the last time they were a couple in real life.

It was the price paid for being two famous actors who were in a long-term relationship.

"Y/n, try to stay closer to the window. Because then you can turn around to face Ben" the direct man says and the actress nods. Ben makes a thumbs up with his hands and they return to their seats.

The delegate boots that Y/n wore made a noise on the set. Ben analyzes his ex-girlfriend who had her back turned, admiring everything that was on the woman's body.

The holster, the boots, the fake glasses that your character wore and the bulletproof vest. She looked beautiful in that outfit, Ben couldn't deny it. He always loved Y/n, and it wouldn't be now that he would stop.

Y/n turns around and Ben looks away before the scene begins.

"3...2...1...ACTION!!" the director shouts and they start doing the scene.

The scene they were both doing today was a fight. When they read it the night before, their chests tightened in pain, all they could think about was their last night. The fight they had before breaking up the relationship.

"Do you think it's being easy for me??" Y/ says, now as her character. "Do you think it's easy for me to listen to all the insults they say about you and not think about our relationship. Heavens Billy!!! Look what's happening to our relationship because of them" Y/n says running his hands through his hair as he walks through the living room of Ben's character's apartment. AKA Billy.

"Honey, listen!!" Billy says trying to get closer to his girlfriend. Which was played by Y/n.

"I can't, I've already heard too much. And it always starts with excuses and ends in a fight because I really don't know what's true or not." Y/n says going a little off script.

The director looks at the paper but doesn't say anything, he was enjoying how things were going. Even though Ben and Y/n weren't enjoying recording that scene.

"Billy, by Gods. I've heard so much from you and others that now I'm lost. My brain says to drink beer for breakfast so I can forget about you in my day, but my heart loves you too much to do that . Heavens!!! Where is the love that you say so much about???" Y/n shouts, making Ben wince a little.

She was a little out of control, which was making Ben worried. But he didn't want to intervene, she was just acting.

But not...

"That moon that danced for us. She's tired and now turns her back on us. That's what's happening to us Billy, look at our relationship. It's getting hidden behind black clouds like the moon on a stormy night." Y/n says shedding some tears.

It was more than obvious that this line wasn't in the script, but no one wanted to interfere. The scene was looking wonderful in the eyes of the director.

"Honey" was Ben's character's turn. Or basically Ben himself. "To hell with the outside world, nothing more matters in my life than you. You are the reason I live, every day I wake up thinking about you and every night I sleep thinking about you. I think for the first time, you should listen to your heart, we know you always believed in me, but the pressure of the world wanted you to think differently" Ben says leaving the scene completely and approaching Y/n, who was now struggling not to shed more tears than he should . Barnes places both hands on the woman's cheeks. "Let me stroke your hair again. Let me cover your chest with my chest. I will paint the sky with colors again. I will make you forget the whole world once and for all. Let me touch your mouth. Let me stop the hours. I'll paint the universe blue again and I'll make this all just a dream. Just let me come back to you and show you that this was all a nightmare that the world put on us. You were always mine, and you always will be" He he says with tears in his eyes and Y/n smiles slightly before locking lips with the actor.

That wasn't in the scene, but it gave it a real touch. Because really, everything they both said was true and they were talking about their real-life relationship, not the fictional one.

When they both felt the air running out, they both separated and the director cut the scene with claps coming from him.

"Brilliant, it seemed like no one was there acting"

Without holding back, he let the tears fall and sobs were heard loudly. The actress ran off the set and everyone looked worried.

"It's just that we weren't really acting" Last thing Ben says before running after Y/n.

The woman was no longer running, but was now walking quickly to the car in the parking lot. She didn't care if she was still wearing her character's clothes, she just wanted to get to the car and cry until the world ended.

"Y/n!!...Y/N!!" She hears Ben's voice behind her, and without thinking, her body stops where it is and turns to see her ex-boyfriend.

Ben got closer and closer and Y/n's eyes cried even more.

"I-...I'm sorry" First thing she says when Ben is facing her. "I shouldn't have given up on our relationship like I did, I really love you so much and this is all too terrible to bear." Y/n says and Barnes approaches her and wraps her in a hug.

"My sweet girl, it's okay..." she says while shedding some tears. "I also haven't been such an attentive boyfriend lately and let the outside world get in the way of our relationship. But I knew that everything I said inside was to you, not to our characters. I want you back, girl" he kisses the top of Y/n's head. "I will always want you, my sweet and beautiful girl"

Y/n cries harder against his chest, only pulling away to say a few words.

"Ben, I love you. I never stopped loving you. And I want you more than anything" Y/n says and Ben without thinking puts their lips together again.

"Let's go home, baby!! Let's go back to our house" Ben says as he wraps her in another cozy hug.

Author: God, I love this guy😭 Well, if you like the stories, please go to my profile box and request your story!!!

[satansapostle6]

Characters I Write For

Please message me with any ideas/requests! I need ideas(short fics or series)

Mostly write for fem!readers. I can write fluff, angst, smut, etc. If I’m not comfortable with something I can let you know

Character/Actor List

Favorite Characters/Actors To Write For

Draco Malfoy, Weasley twins

Jesse Pinkman

Paul Dano characters

Josh Hutcherson characters

Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel

Damon Salvatore, Silas, Klaus Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson

Rodrick Heffley

Bellamy Blake

Ezra Fitz(should probably make it clear I don’t condone)

Ian Duncan(Community)

Charlie(It’s Always Sunny)

Luke Castellan, Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase

Finnick Odair

Tommy Shelby

Killian Hook

Paul Dano

Klitz(The Girl Next Door)

Dwayne Hoover(Little Miss Sunshine)

Edward Nashton(The Batman)

Calvin Weir-Fields(Ruby Sparks)

Brian Wilcox(Fast Food Nation)

Joby Taylor(For Ellen)

Nick Flynn(Being Flynn)

Josh Hutcherson

Peeta Mellark(The Hunger Games)

Mike Schmidt(FNAF)

Josh Futturman(Future Man)

Devon Bostick

Rodrick Heffley(Diary of a Wimpy Kid)

Jasper Jordan(The 100)

Cillian Murphy

Tommy Shelby(Peaky Blinders)

Dr. Jonathan Crane(The Dark Knight)

Neil(Watching the Detectives)

Christian Bale

Patrick Bateman(American Psycho)

Bruce Wayne(The Dark Knight)

Breaking Bad

Jesse Pinkman

Jane Margolis

Saul Goodman

Harry Potter(Golden Trio Era)

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley

Hermione Granger

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Ginny Weasley

Luna Lovegood

Neville Longbottom

Draco Malfoy

Pansy Parkinson

Blaise Zabini

Theodore Nott

Daphne Greengrass

Adrian Pucey

Terence Higgs

Harry Potter(Marauders Era)

James Potter

Remus Lupin

Sirius Black

Lily Potter

Severus Snape

Regulus Black

Lucius Malfoy

Narcissa Malfoy

Bellatrix Lestrange

Arthur Weasley

Harry Potter(Fantastic Beasts Era)

Newt Scamander

Queenie Goldstein

Leta Lestrange

Percy Jackson

Percy Jackson

Annabeth Chase

Luke Castellan

Thalia Grace

Jason Grace

+ Gods

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

Aaron Hotchner

Emily Prentiss

Derek Morgan

JJ

Penelope Garcia

David Rossi

Elle Greenaway

Cat Adams

Megan Kane

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

John Winchester

Mary Winchester

Castiel

Charlie Bradbury

Rowena McLeod

Adam Milligan

Lucifer

Ruby

Jessica Moore

Gabriel

Benny Lafitte

Bela Talbot

Jo Harvelle

Ellen Harvelle

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai Gilmore

Christopher Hayden

Luke Danes

Logan Huntzberger

Jess Mariano

The Hunger Games

Peeta Mellark

Katniss Everdeen

Gale Hawthorn

Finnick Odair

Johanna Mason

Haymitch Abernathy

Pretty Little Liars

Aria Montgomery

Spencer Hastings

Emily Fields

Hannah Marin

Mona Vanderwaal

Alison Di Laurentis

Jason Di Laurentis

Ezra Fitz

Toby Cavanaugh

Jenna Marshall

Caleb Rivers

The Vampire Diaries

Damon Salvatore

Stefan Salvatore

Katherine Pierce

Elena Gilbert

Jeremy Gilbert

Bonnie Bennett

Caroline Forbes

The Originals

Klaus Mikaelson

Elijah Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

Rebekah Mikaelson

Freya Mikaelson

Hayley Marshall

Marcel Gerard

Davina Claire

Twilight

Edward Cullen

Bella Swan

Alice Cullen

Jasper Hale

Rosalie Hale

Emmett Cullen

Victoria

The 100

Bellamy Blake

Octavia Blake

Jasper Jordan

Shameless

Fiona Gallagher

Lip Gallagher

Carl Gallagher

Frank Gallagher

Mandy Milkovich

Kevin Ball

Veronica Fisher

The Bear

Carmy Berzatto

Sydney Adamu

Richie Jerimovich

Suicide Squad

Harley Quinn

Rick Flag

Blackguard

Once Upon A Time

Emma Swan

Regina Mills

Killian Jones

Rumplestiltskin

Robin Hood

Ruby

Hades

Community

Jeff Winger

Abed Nadir

Annie Edison

Troy Barnes

Ian Duncan

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Charlie Kelly

Dennis Reynolds

Dee Reynolds

Mac

Cricket

House MD

Greg House

Robert Chase

James Wilson

Lisa Cuddy

Parks and Recreation

Ben Wyatt

April Ludgate

Andy Dwyer

MCU, Marvel

Steve Rogers

Tony Stark

Natasha Romanoff

Bruce Banner

Wanda Maximoff

Loki Laufeyson

Peter Parker(Holland, Garfield, Maguire)

Gamora

Peter Quill

Scott Lang

Steven Strange

Jessica Jones

Wade Wilson

DC CW

Oliver Queen

Barry Allen

Felicity Smoak

Laurel Lance

Sara Lance

Malcom Merlyn

John Constantine

Leonard Snart

Ray Palmer

Caitlyn Snow

Julian Albert

Rip Hunter

10 Things I Hate About You

Patrick Verona

Cameron James

New Girl

Jess Day

Nick Miller

Schmidt

Other Characters

Charlie Kelmeckis(Perks Of Being A Wallflower)

Jesse Eisenberg Characters

Dr. Who(10th Doctor)

Will Probably Add More

[sometimesanalice]

Hello, Alexa!☺️

How are you?

A bit of a random Q, but! I remember you saying that the first fanfic you wrote

was ‘Oh Christmas Tree' and I was just wondering if there was any other fandoms

you ever thought about writing for? Even if you don’t want to publish them! :) An even more general question, what other fandoms would you say you're into?

I know it's a little random, but I just love hearing about other people's interests/loves! 🥰

(I’m sorry if you’ve answered these in some way before)

Have a lovely weekend!

Hi Bo!! 🌟 I'm so good! I'm having the best afternoon with some coffee and a treat from Trader Joe's and working on a fluffy oneshot! I hope you're doing well! I love seeing you pop in my inbox!

The call of Bradley with a pine tree allergy and getting his best girl a fluffy pink one was too strong for me to resist! It was such a new thing for me that I wrote the whole thing on the notes app on my phone, it didn't even cross my mind to open a word doc for it, lol.

It's such a funny thing that for the years and years that I've jotted down ideas and dialogue that I never once thought of actually sitting down and trying my hand at writing fanfic until last year!

More for you under the cut!

My first foray into fandom and fanfic was when I was a nugget out there wilding on fanfic.net and shipping Clark/Lana from Smallville and Padme/Anakin from Star Wars. (back when I didn't even know what shipping meant, lol)

In college, I didn't have much time to read books because of all the school work, so I turned to fanfic again and got really into The Hunger Games. Dandelion Peeta had my heart, and all the modern AUs really softened the dystopian angst. That fandom had so many truly terrific writers, ones that I still follow even today.

Which is how I ended up becoming a big The 100 girlie. Some of my favorite THG authors started posting and writing for a couple of the main characters on that show and I was hooked. (it's been a lot of fun to learn that some of my fav TGM babes were also the 100 babes, so we've trauma bonded over it, haha)

And let me tell you, I need to be financially COMPENSATED by the CW for the chokehold this man had on me for like 5 years. (the hair! the gravely voice! the chin dimple! the biceps! the grumpy king with a heart of gold!)

If I was going to write for another fandom, it would be that one. Bellarke (bellamy blake and clarke griffin) still has my heart. At the height of it, I was spending hours every day reading fic for them. The chemistry between them was bananas and every week I was waiting on baited breath for any little interaction between them. It's funny now because the actors are actually married now, haha! The show gave us crumbs and went out with such a tragic whimper, but the fandom and the incredible talent there is probably why I was so invested and still read fics about them on AO3.

When I reread my favorite series The Winners Trilogy by Marie Rutkoski I fall DEEP into an Arin/Kestrel spiral. It's such an underrated YA series that I'm pretty sure I've read every piece of fanfiction that's out there (which isn't nearly enough) at least 5 times.

There was a brief Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen GOT era, but it was short lived.

I also like the Darkling/Alina dynamic from Shadow and Bone. I read the series when the books first came out before the show, and wasn't particularly enamored with them as a couple. But then they had to go and cast the pretty bearded attention whore that is Ben Barnes and I had simply no choice but to ship, lol.

I always joke and say that I don't pick the hyperfixations, that they choose me. But it's really true. The 100 ended in 2020 and I didn't have anything really capture my attention in the same way until TGM. This is the first fandom that I've really participated in, like getting to know other people and creating content! And it's been so wonderful!

Oof! Well, this got out of control quickly, lol. This was such a fun ask to get! I haven't been asked before, so I really went off the deep end here giving you my full life fandom history, haha!

[daffodilsonaprettystring]

I just saw someone on SOC twitter say that Matthias is worse than the Darkling

That same person also said Wylan was illiterate and gay and that’s all he has going for him and that he and Jesper were the token side gays

………….TELL ME YOU DONT UNDERSTAND COMPLEX CHARACTERS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU DONT UNDERSTAND COMPLEX CHARACTERS

LIKE GENUINELY

Wtf,?????

Matthias was raised and manipulated in under severe religious views and when he realized that they were wrong he did EVERYTHING in his power to change it.

THE DARKLING COMMITED MASS GENOCIDE AND SOLD INNOCENT GIRLS TO ABUSERS AND MANIPULATED A YOUNG GIRL THEN PROCEEDED TO TREAT HER LIKE HIS PROPERTY AND DIDNT GIVE A FUCK WHO HE HURT IN THE PROCESS INCLUDING THE GIRL DARKLINAS CLAIM HE LOVES???

Listen even going I to the show KNOWING Darkles was bad, I still fell for Darklina. Ben Barnes is extremely charismatic and yeah Darkles was a good actor and it was hard not to fall for his charm. But that’s exactly what it was: charm, and acting. We got to see so much more of his manipulation and true dark side this season, yet people still try to say he’s misunderstood and just fighting for the Grisha. No?? He’s tryna take over the damn country and keep Alina under his thumb in the process??

Do not ever compare Matthias, who died doing what was right, to Darkles who died because his ass got hit with some well earned karma. They are nothing alike.

(This is not to say Darkles isn’t also a complex character; I really enjoyed the show giving him that backstory with the Heartrender girl he loved dying and the scene where Baghra died in his arms had me feeling very bad for him, even knowing what he’s done. But that’s the thing; you can see Darkles as a complex character and still acknowledge that he is an AWFUL human being. There is no redemption for him, and he deserved the ending he got. Darkling stans take the “complex character” term and run far past the finish line with it to the point where they idolize this guy to insane levels. Just—try to remember what you’re saying when you say Darklina should have been endgame. You’re saying Alina’s and Zoya’s manipulator and the reason Genya was abused for YEARS should end up with the girl he claimed to love even though he literally used her as a tool for his own gain and didn’t give a fuck about her own wishes? Please guys.no. )

AND WYLAN?? How dare you reduce him to the stereotypical side gay. My man spent this entire season proving his worth, and he and Jesper, while admittedly moved fast, were the most stable ship in the show for a goddamn reason. Wylan has been through hell, fuck all of the crows have, and yet they all still manage to hold some good inside them.

(Yes, even Kaz. I don’t care what anyone says, that man still wants to be good for those he cares about (Yes Inej but also the other Crows) along with being a crime lord. I did a whole presentation on it for my seminar last semester. Fight me.)

The reason SOC fans love those books is because Leigh Bardugo blessed us with these incredibly dynamic characters who are flawed and human and make mistakes but at the end of the day are just kids trying to make it through life the best way they can, and doing it as a FAMILY. Shadow and Bone, while still very good books, is missing that vital piece somehwere in the Malina Darklina ship war.

This was such a long rant I’m sorry

TLDR: Darkles sucks Matthias deserves better and Wylan is still my favorite Grishaverse character ever don’t dump on him or I’m coming for your eyeballs Kazzle Dazzle style

[guiltyofbitchcraft]

So I am rewatching season 1 of shadow and bone to get ready for the second season premiere and I just got to the scene in the fifth episode where we see Baghra and the Darkling interact for the first time in the show and she reveals that she's the reason he can't find Alina or "the tracker" (Mal_. And man did these actors understand the assignment.

I've always enjoyed this scene, even before I read all the books but now having read everything I appreciate it even more. There's so much weight and history between these two characters and the actors absolutely work with it so well. We learn so much about these characters and their dynamic in one scene even though we have not yet seen them interact. To me it's just very well done.

The way Baghra just has this smugness about her and how she looks at her son as if she's looking right through him. She knows exactly who he is and what he's trying to do, no matter how much he tries to make it look like a noble cause and she has gladly thrown a wrench in his plan and will do so again and again. Then we have the Darkling, his disdain for her words right off the back and the line about how she can't kill his hope feels so specific to a child who feels as if he has a history of being put down by his mother.

But there's something else that Ben Barnes does in this scene that always catches my attention. That moment when Baghra reveals she has a hand in why he can't find Alina. Right before it you can really see that he feels how close he is to accomplishing his goals. He has Alina, he'll get the stag soon. He is this close to making his dreams come true and you can see him trying to convince his mother of his cause. It's almost like he's getting swept up in the moment.

And then she drops the Alina bomb and his entire demeanor changes in a blink of an eye. His body language changes. His posture is standoffish. He's angling his face so he's really looking down at his mother. And then he utters the word "careful." There's so much weight on that word. He doesn't need to say more, the threat is clear. Just a simple, well-enunciated word. And there's this feeling of power around him. You really feel what Baghra meant when she told Alina that he is eternal. This is the darkling. We've seen glimpses of it so far in his scene with Mal but this really feels like the first moment we see him fully and completely for the first time. We feel how dangerous he is, even to his mother.

It's just such a well done moment. Ben Barnes was truly so well cast and there's a lot of subtle things in his performance throughout this season that are just so interesting to watch. Zoe Wanamaker is phenomenal as well. I have a lot of complicated feelings about the show but these two casting choices are certainly not one of them. And I'm genuinely excited to see more from them and the rest of the cast in the next season.

[lilisouless]

Alright, the Jessie Mei Li shipping discourse has been around for long , but i still want to say something even if its nothing new

I have seen a lot of people saying that Jessie plays for both teams , giving both Malina and Dark/lina hopes. If that was true and they gave hope to both ships, which is something shows with a love triangle in their marketing do a LOT, that wouldn't be bad, they play the character, they were part of the fandom before being casted and they have the right of an opinion like everyone.

But that is not even true, Jessie has said in every interview , where people aren't creative enought to ask them anything else than about the love triangle, they always speak in favor of Malina pretty unambigously. And the arguments that "they pander the da/rklina fandom too" is just (for what i could find)

1- Putting a lot of effort in their kiss scenes with Ben

2-...having a friendship with Ben?

First one, they are an actor, acting is their job. They were playing a girl that was trying to be happy with her new life and starting something with this new guys she is atracted to, why would the character act with disgust on being distant? that was not the point of the scenes. The second one is just stupid, if Jessie had to work and kiss a man they were not confortable around then that would be a huge problem.

The actor´s relationships doesn't counts as "giving hints"

And i meant that in the mosts neutral way possible. There are people on the malina fandom that say Jessie panders and romantizes the relationship , when is not Alina and the darkling you are seeing, it´s Jessie and Ben, they are not their characters. Unless Jessie says "i think Alina should have ended up with the darkling because they were in love" or something like that, they are not romantizing anything. The whole "make the kiss scene more consensual" was mostly to give her character more agency (something i am not against, i mean the ship in the book has no chemistry at all for how unresponsive is Alina the whole scene). Is not like they stripped out the manipulative context, they leave there the reveal that Genya burned Mal´s letter at the darkling´s comand, that he tried to keep her away from an old friend, his bad actions are still there so the scene doesn't hurt the context. Besides, acussing someone of supporting abuse is very serious and should be out of shipping discourse. This also doesn't means it would be okay to call them an "abuser apologist" if they actually said "Da/rklina" in all those interviews.

On their side, the DA fandom went "Jessie clearly ships DA, so what they are saying on those interviews is not true" so, acording to them Jessie is either a liar, spineless or a sold out, never a person with their own opinions and preferences (not to say is plain rude to go and comment "DA is better" everytime they share a picture with Archie) A lot of people went "Jessie is probably being treatened by netflix!" as if they don't follow their discourse, there must be something wrong with them, "why are they not doing exactly what we wanted them to do?" (hey, just like Alina herself)

The thing is that both sides treat Jessie as if their relationships with other people were only there for show marketing. And yes, the actors sharing pictures together is partly a way to promote the show, but also why assume their friendship is only that? if they like each other (like friends, no real life shipping on this house) then why making assumptions about second intentions?

At the end, my intention is always the same: Treath actors like people, why is that so hard?

"You are just saying that because Jessie favors your ship"

No, i said before many times that Jessie has the right to ship whatever they like. And Ben Barnes is clearly a DA guy, he clearly likes the ship, and i have said too many times that he doesn't deserve to be bashed either or treated like he is his character (a lot of blogs that tried to argue anything like that about BB could testify i was the first person to jump on his defense)

[claireandacat]

Simping over middle aged actors who don’t know I exist. An essay.

Maybe it’s just a general lady thing, but I have a tendency to crush on actors 10+ years older than me. Am I a lonely 26 year old lady waiting for her happily ever after while my catholic match profile is crickets?

You got me there.

But like seriously it is a general human thing to find someone attractive and to feel feels. It’s in everything, life, movies, music, ballet, art, history. Don’t get me started on my favorite Corinthians verse about love.

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while now. I was basically inspired by Brittney Broski, who simps all the time and people relate to that and listen to her ramblings. I’m sure one other person out there is interested in hearing my simp interests. 😅😂

I have a top 5 of middle aged hot guys I absolutely love. All of these are crushes that started when I started getting crushes and I still find them attractive today as a 26 year old lady. In order of discovering and falling for them they are…

Ben Barnes

Robert Pattinson

Cillian Murphy

Sebastian Stan

Daniel Brühl

1. Ben Barnes

I was 11, snacks and dance class was life, the hormones were starting to kick in and the second Narnia movie had come out. I wasn’t much of a Narnia fan but I was forced to tag along with the after school program I was in to a showing of this movie as a last day of school celebration. Ben Barnes as Prince Caspian was FINE AF to my 11 year old eyes and heart. I fell for him like a ton of bricks and would get 11 year old girl fantasies of being Prince Caspian’s princess.

He is over 40 now and still fine as hell. His character in Shadow and Bone is amazing. He def plays dark personality characters very well. He has a singing career as well and his cover of River was in my top Spotify songs last year.

I love that he is in T-Mobile commercials now. He is perfect. He is THE ultimate hot British actor. I hope T-mobile paid him well because my man is talented and deserves to be more than just a face of T-Mobile. When I was stressed and on edge at my previous job at an urgent care, seeing his face on commercials always made my 12 hour shifts better.

I’m surprised he hasn’t been in some BBC new classic considering he is both British and adorable and would totally make a good heart throb protagonist?!

2. Robert Pattinson

I was in 6th grade and the Twilight books and craze was big at my middle school. Every other girl including myself was wearing team Edward or Team Jacob shirts. The Twilight movies also had come out. RPatz was the heartthrob of every girl. Move over Prince Caspian, Claire is grown and edgy and likes edgy hot guys that match 😂.

A couple years ago I watched his video on GQ where he takes a look into his career and decided to dive into some of these movies myself. His young self is cute as a button in the 4th Harry Potter movie even though his charming character has an unfortunate fate. He makes the perfect Batman, just add in the Chris Nolan plot and music and we got a perfect match. He totally captured the darkness and loneliness in Bruce Wayne/Batman.

Of course I HAD to see his Chris Nolan debut. If you read my other posts, you know I am a superfan for Christopher Nolan movies.

He is fine and cute in that movie. His performance is great. His performance in The King was also great. He def nailed that French accent.

He can be the American heart throb AND the British heart throb at the same time

3. Cillian Murphy

I’m 16. I’m into zombie movies and 28 days later is on BBC even though the plot and IMDb pictures are scary, I still ditch my chemistry homework to watch it. Totally fine with any nightmares I’ll probably get. Still my favorite zombie movie to this day and one of the few horror movies I’ll still watch since converting to Catholicism.

This is the first time I actually fell for an actor because of their performance and then I deep dived into other works he is casted in.

I love his intensity and dedication to roles as well as approach. Even during his small role in Dunkirk. I love the power and darkness he puts into Tommy Shelby. I mean have you seen the scenes where Tommy is in full blown rage? He goes from zero to rage effortlessly.

His performance in Oppenheimer deserves an Oscar and if he doesn’t get it I am rioting. He nailed the look. He nailed the sensory overload/overwhelmed looks. Just perfect.

I’d love to just have a Guinness with him and just discuss Irish culture and his career over.

4. Sebastian Stan

What is funny about this one is that for a bit I was a Steve Rogers stan. Like from ages 16-21 Steve was my man. That was until his friend Bucky stumbled upon in my dream one night. Originally that is how I knew Sebastian but then i stumbled upon The Devil All The Time where he has a small part as a corrupt small town sheriff and became curious.

Last summer I had a random dream about Sebastian whist I was simping on RPatz. Somehow my curiosity got me and I became a Bucky stan. Still to this day I simp over him, even though there’s another guy I’m simping over even stronger (see below).

He is just so fine and such a sweet human being. I read a buzz feed article about people who have met nice and cool celebrities and my Sebbys was on it. In that video he did for GQ of him reviewing his career, he is so humble, so genuine and always has something nice to say about everyone he works with.

And now the current middle aged actor I’m simping on…

5. Daniel Brühl

See my alienist blog post

Three words. Calm. Collected. German.

Well more like handsome, multilingual, and German 😂

Wes references aside, It all started with my curiosity with the movie Rush. I had only known Daniel as Zemo in the marvel movies so I thought let’s see his other filmography. I fell for Daniel like a pile of bricks. The eyes. The hair. The talent. It was really Dr. Laszlo Kreizler that did it for me. According to Niki Lauda himself (God Rest His Soul) Daniel is a “down to earth guy” like who doesn’t love that?! Plus being a wannabe #tradwife finds it so adorable that he has a wife and kids. I never want to cheat on those ever I’m not that lady. But there is something so cute to me about a man with a family. Then again that’s what all my fantasies are.

Like 🥹🥹🥹

He is a perf trad man vibes. Who doesn’t love that?! His character in Rush gives the same vibe too. I also love me a smart and sarcastic man like Dr. Kreizler. Then again I’ve been told Germans are just that way and being that I’m about 1/3 German I could just find that sexy in my blood 😂

In conclusion

I have one goal in common with these men. I want to see them each in a Chris Nolan movie AND a Wes Movie. Not one or the other. Both. Rpatz and Cillian are halfway there.

My top 5 of middle aged actors that I will forever simp on: honorable mentions

Matthew McConaughey - his performance in interstellar is so amazing I’m naming my son Joseph in honor of not only the OG St. Joseph himself but his character in Interstellar. Also is pro American and sometimes stars in comedies.

Adrian Brody- a Wes regular. And on Peaky Blinders. I love his variety. “I think it STINKS!!!”

Chris Evans- I was obsessed with him and Steve rogers during my late teens for a MINUTE. So he has to be included here.

Ryan Reynolds’s. He was pikachu and he is a family man and has a beautiful family with Blake Lively.

Honorable mentions but they’re actors I find hot but they’re my age (Oct 1996 or younger/older by 5 years)

Tom Holland. Fellow 1996 baby and I’m pretty sure he would’ve graduated in my class. Plus he is faithful, anti Hollywood actor, and a loveable dork. Also he does it all.

Timothee Chalamet- probs the Leo DiCaprio of my generation. Plus that jawline and hair. Hard to find a cutie with hair texture like mine.

Tony Ravilori. Also a fellow 1996 baby and Wes regular. Has a charming simplicity in his characters.

Freddie Highmore- I just love his performance in The Good Doctor.

If they’re my age I may have an expressed interest in their work because they’re my age. I’ll be seeing them in 40 years on tv looking as perfect as ever still and me with my greying hair will wonder where time went.

Harry Styles. I was a one Direction girl. Been following his solo work for a bit and he is a fellow 420 user 😂

Honorable mentions but they’re actors older than my parents

Wes Anderson. year older than my mom and he fine as hell on top of being my favorite director.

Jeff Goldblum -it’s Jeff Goldblum

I’m not too crazy about the honorable mentions but they’re still cool. I’d have a glass of wine or blunt with them. We all have our favorites on differentiating levels.

[titstraction]

ok ok i'm sorry i didn't give you a chance to be a hater before. maybe this will be better... what's your opinion on fancasts? just in general, but also in terms of the popular ones (idek what the prevalent ones are except for timmy as regulus, but i know there are a few people tend to gravitate to for r/s as well..)

hahah but i loved to wax poetic about delicious food still <3

i wanna preface this by saying that once i was looking at andrew kung’s photography and i saw the Most beautiful man in the world and i thought This Is Sirius Black. hes name is Jullian Culas and i edited photos from his instagram for a moodboard from my fanfic ‘blue’ and i follow him to this day and am always awestruck by his beauty and headcanon him as sirius a little sometimes. i was also into tripp when goyp was big and it was a whole thing. (and i get ben barnes as dorian gray)

and i think sirius fancasts works for me because i write him as the Most beautiful man and hes always super attractive, outstandingly pretty etc in my fic which is also popular fanon. so its plausible that he looks like a celebrity/model.

when it comes to remus though - hes just a regular guy. hes ugly-hot. he has a fucked up nose and scars on his face. he uses 3-in-1 shampoo. ive written him with a disability. even with art, i think remus is harder to visually Get right - and no celebrities/models look like that. same with fat lily, fat lily is so dear to me but there are not a lot of celebrities/models that are fat red heads. celebrity/model beauty can be very restrictive and even boring, and i think its better and more sexy for characters to be ‘normal’, have pimples, scars, body fat, disabilities etc than to look like celebrities. i think gay fanfiction is at its best a little transgressive, and fancasts that enforce unrealistic beauty standards can be quite detrimental to than end (unless your character is the Most beautiful man)

theres also the question of flexibility, like i enjoy trying new things, personality wise and looks wise, in each different work (like sometimes remus is a twink and sometimes hes scary looking) and how do you do that with a strict fancast? my characters in my head as i write are Vague Shapes and Concepts and i dont think i could write remus if i imagined him as Andrew Garfield.

plus, Andrew Garfield’s too much of a Person everyone knows about Actor Spiderman Emma Stone’s boyfriend once Network gay for me to just… fit a whole remus lore in him.

as for timmy - my mom has a big fat crush on Timothee Chalamet and as such i can not imagine him as regulus black. thats my mom’s sugar baby thank you very much.