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fauzhee10069 · 4 years

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Tooru, the main villain or the red herring?

aka “Tooru, the underrated villain”

Tooru, the mysterious boy who started from being an unassuming part-time worker and Yasuho’s ex-boyfriend, is currently the main focus in JoJolion since chapter 97.

Tooru appeared first in chapter 81, during the middle of Dr. Wu fight. It happened casually as Yasuho coincidentally met with him and they greeted like an old-friend, it was then revealed that he was her ex-boyfriend. He doesn’t give strong impression to the readers, though his sudden appearance while a Stand fight was still going on is quite suspicious. In the pursuit of HD, he bumped several times with Yasuho (and the gang) with the intention of going steady with her again, while sometimes he acted rather suspiciously.

The mystery regarding Tooru is slowly being revealed, in chapter 97 we begin to see him as a villain: he didn’t come to Higashikata’s mansion to save Yasuho, he seemed to know the situation that had happened in the mansion, he is “somehow” connected to The Head Doctor that he seems to know what is going on there (hospital) and finally, he also wanted The New Locacaca.

Chapter 98 even revealed the bigger twist that Head Doctor Akefu is actually a Stand! It is quite impressive that a Stand can hold an important position as Head Doctor in a well-known hospital, it even held a conference not long ago. This chapter also revealed the connection between Tooru and Akefu, he knows the situation there through Akefu’s eyes. He also mentioned “calamity” which is the keyword for HD’s ability. Another mystery brought by Tooru is that he knows about “the saint”.

JJL chapter 98: Endless Calamity – part 4

Chapter 99 revealed greater information about Tooru, that he is a rock-human. This answers the mystery of how he knows about “the saint”. Furthermore, we found out the name of HD as a Stand, 「Wonder of U」. 「Wonder of U」 also revealed that he had a hand in ruining Rai’s life in the past.

Chapter 100 still affirmed 「Wonder of U」’s involvement in Rai's past and talked about “calamity”. This chapter also reinforced the notion that Araki does eventually change Rai's backstory (so that the story in chapter 75 becomes less relevant).

Therefore, what we got about Tooru so far:

He is a part-time worker in T.G.U Hospital.

He is Yasuho’s ex-boyfriend who dated her during her high-school years.

He is somehow connected to the Head Doctor Akefu.

He is a rock-human.

He wants the New Locacaca.

He knows about “the saint”.

He knows about “calamity”.

Head Doctor Akefu is a Stand named 「Wonder of U」 and Tooru could be the user.

What are still lacking from Tooru are his personal backstory and his motivation, but given that Araki is focused on him right now, I am sure that this mystery will soon be resolved.

How is Tooru underrated?

Many readers doubt Tooru’s role as a big villain, the main reason is because of him appeared in the story fairly late. I myself am still wary and do not immediately believe that he will be the main villain.

However, with those eight points above Tooru had in recent chapters, should be enough to consider him a big player in “the race of (New) Locacaca”. If he is not the main villain, at least he should be a major villain.

TL;DR is available in the end

Tooru and 「Wonder of U」

One of the things that makes readers doubt him is about his connection to 「Wonder of U」. Some have already believed that Tooru is its user, whereas some others haven't. Those who don’t believe it assume that Tooru is more of a partner to the original WOU’s user. Perhaps the thing that makes it difficult for readers to consider Tooru as WOU’s user is because Araki had been building up WOU as a figure, “The Head Doctor Akefu Satoru”.

Prior to Tooru’s debut, HD Akefu became a major player associated with Locacaca and the rock-humans organization. He had been hinted since chapter 76, the end part of Ozon Baby arc. He led the Head Doctor gang, he let Damokan Group to roam around (under his watch), chapter 99 and 100 also revealed that he has been involved in Rai’s past.

When the first hint of HD existence emerged, his subordinates had begun to fall one by one at that time (Urban Guerilla and Poor Tom). HD became the main focus in the pursuit by Josuke’s gang since chapter 83.

HD Akefu has prominent role in the struggle of Locacaca and the rock-humans, HD Akefu to the readers is like an individual character (a rock-human) who has a hand in the race of New Locacaca. Therefore, when he was revealed to be a Stand, it becomes difficult for the readers to accept that.

How can a Stand be able to act like human-being? Of course in the previous parts of JJBA, we already know about the existence of "sentient Stands", such as 「Anubis」, 「Baby Face」, 「Cheap Trick」, and 「Foo Fighters」, etc. But, no Stands have sentience capability to the extent of HD Akefu as it was able to hold a prominent position as The Head Doctor in a well-known hospital and even held a conference not long ago.

As readers, we should also remember that what we are reading here (JJBA) is the work of fiction, with Araki as “the god” in this fictional world. Thus, he has the right to change or add new things in his work and one of them might be: “a whole new type of Stand”.

The problem of some readers nowadays is that they are too fixated on the old rules/establishment, even though every rules contained in fictional stories can be added or changed at any time as the author wishes. JJBA might add new rule or category to its universe, as far as it doesn’t destroy its own world-building.

With the mindset that a Stand should not be able to do so, some readers have speculated that the real Head Doctor named “Akefu Satoru” character might actually exists, whether he is the big boss who is currently hiding or even as a posthumous character whose identity got stolen by rock-humans.

In addition, some readers are a bit uneasy to accept Tooru's plot twist that started from being a part-timer boy to be the leader of HD gang out of sudden. Which I think it’s quite contradictory to Caatofags who want a plot twist from an ex-housewife to be the grand mastermind. However…

In fact, the connection between Tooru and Head Doctor/「Wonder of U」 has been hinted at by Araki since his first debut.

Tooru made his debut in the two chapters prior to the pursuit of HD since chapter 83. His debut was in JJL chapter 81 during the middle of Dr. Wu arc.

Akefu Satoru is first mentioned in chapter 83, then made his first appearance in chapter 84. The title of chapter 84 itself is:

What a coincidence that HD Akefu's debut was in a chapter with its original name as 「Wonder of U」. Though it’s originally titled “The Head Doctor of TG University Hospital - part 1”, but the change of title is still Araki’s decision.

Besides, Tooru who coincidentally bumped several times with Yasuho (and the gang) acted like harmless neutral individual who is willing to help them modestly. As a part-timer in the hospital, he made them believe that he could lead them to Akefu.

JJL chapter 84: The Wonder of You (Your Miraculous Love) – part 1

Yeah, the first time Tooru led them to Akefu was also in the same chapter with the fully debuted Akefu, in the first part of “Wonder of You” arc as well. Six chapters (one volume) later, he was acting suspicious again as he lured Yasuho back into chasing Akefu.

JJL chapter 90: The Wonder of You (Your Miraculous Love) – part 7

Then, in the same chapter just before his suspicious action, Tooru had been talking about wireless charging, with electricity spills out and flies into the sky without the holes in the power lines.

I don’t want to be those Caatofags who’re overthinking everything, but this could be a hint of how he can connect with The Head Doctor, of how both he and his Stand can act independently, despite their great distance, and how both of them are able find out their respective situations at the same time.

Then he also told about the existence of “anxiety” and “anger” side by side. What he said reminds me of the duality in Diavolo and Doppio, perhaps this is a hint that there is also a duality between Tooru and Akefu Satoru/「Wonder of U」 or at least about Tooru’s true nature.

I may be thinking too much though, knowing how Araki likes to put small pieces of information unrelated to the plot yet quite informative. But putting that aside, there is another hint regarding Tooru and 「Wonder of U」, that both have blank eyes for a moment.

In chapter 97, there was a moment where Akefu was seen standing still strangely, like a machine that was turned off.

It is as if Tooru and Akefu take turns moving their consciousness. In addition, the same chapter also showed that Tooru was aware of the situation regarding Josuke in the hospital. Notice Tooru's eyes that didn't look blank at that time!

Endless Calamity – part 3

The recent chapter of 101 further emphasizes that Tooru is indeed the user of 「Wonder of U」.

JJL chapter 101: Endless Calamity – part 7

The Climactic Power of 「Wonder of U」

Out of all the Stands in JoJolion, 「Wonder of U」 is the most powerful Stand that has ever been shown so far. WOU has given a lot of trouble to the many factions in JJL who are actively fighting over The New Locacaca.

Sadly, some readers (especially The Caatofags) downplay its power and the fight that goes with it. They compared WOU arc like arcs with Vanilla Ice (3), Cioccolata (5), Donnatello Versace (6) and Axel Ro (7), that WOU will just be a closing fight between the protagonists and the last side villain, which will lead them to the actual main villain. How are they even comparable to be honest?

First, let's compare the arc length of each:

side villains comparison (by Caatofags)

Keep in mind that up to part 6, JJBA was published on “Weekly Shounen Jump”, in which the average number of pages per chapter at that time was only ±17 pages. Take a note as well that Wonder of U arc is still on-going, therefore the number of chapters on it will continue to grow.

As a side note, Underworld (Donatello)’s arc was dominating only up to chapter 124, the focus of subsequent chapters are then divided on “Heavy Weather arc” with Pucci and Weather Report. It's just that I decided to include them because Donatello officially died in chapter 137 (at the end of Heavy Weather arc).

But actually, that's not what's truly important. We should also consider how their respective arcs were being played out:

Vanilla Ice 「Cream」

Being brutally honest, comparing the WOU arc to Cream's battle is ... ridiculous. Why? Because the storyline of each part is already very different.

Let’s talk about part 3, it started with Kujo Holy who fell seriously ill, it turned out that the illness was caused by the awakening of the Joestar family’s Stands who was forced out by DIO. In order to save Holy (Jotaro's mother), The Stardust Crusaders went to Egypt to pursue DIO and stop him. Since then, DIO’s underlings appeared one by one to block the crusaders.

In short, since the beginning, the main story in part 3 focused on the crusaders' journey to stop DIO. DIO since the beginning had been the main objective for protagonists, in other words, “the main villain”. Yeah, the storyline in part 3 did not hold much mystery and was more straightforward. We knew the main villain since the very beginning and there was no surprising plot twist halfway that distorted the original objective.

Therefore, since the beginning, Vanilla Ice was just a side villain. Since the beginning of his debut, he was immediately introduced as DIO’s loyal servant and nothing more. Even if his battle with Polnareff and Iggy (RIP Avdol) was dramatic and tense, Vanilla Ice from the start was still a side villain whose sole purpose was to lead the crusaders to his DIO-sama.

Besides, the 「Cream」’s fight did not involve all the crusaders: Jotaro, Joseph and Kakyoin were away and uninvolved at the time.

Caatofags definitely need to learn how storylines actually work before they come up with any weird theories.

Cioccolata 「Green Day」 (and Secco 「Oasis」)

Comparing the WOU arc to the Green Day’s fight is just as ridiculous as “Vanilla Ice”. Unlike part 3, the appearance of the main villain in part 5 did happen a bit late. Throughout the Buccellati’s gang’s journey in uncovering his identity, he had remained mysterious.

However, since the beginning, part 5 has also been about Diavolo as the mafia boss. The protagonist joined his mafia, the protagonists gang was his underling. Since the beginning of the story, the protagonists have been somehow connected to the main villain.

The nature of the boss is so mysterious to the point that his underlings questioning him. Giorno as supposedly the main protagonist was targeting him, he intended to approach him via Buccellati and then overthrow him. Buccellati gang's first assignment (as Capo) was to escort the boss' daughter, during that mission they were blocked by the traitor gang, La Squadra Esecuzioni.

Apart from the boss's identity, his role initially was not very clear. Would he only become Giorno's boss to be eventually dethroned, or would he become their main enemy? However, after the end of La Squadra and Bruno successfully escorted Trish to the boss, that was when “the status of the boss” became clear: that he ultimately became the main enemy of the protagonist's gang.

Since then, Buccellati’s gang had been pursuing the boss while trying to uncover his identity. A character named Vinegar Doppio appeared, whose character had been closely tied to The Boss. Just then, Cioccolata and Secco made their debut as the members of Unita Speciale to stop the protagonists.

VA chapter 113: Pronto! On The Line – part 2

And just like Vanilla Ice, Cioccolata and Secco were not the main villain since the beginning. The Boss was talking about them to Doppio. Therefore no way that Cioccolata is the main villain.

The length of Green Day arc was quite long, though keep in mind that Vento Aureo was released weekly on WSJ, which made the average number of pages per chapter was about ±17. Besides, the fight with 「Green Day」 happened alongside with 「Oasis」. Therefore, we didn't just witness a single Stand battle in that arc.

The battle also didn't involve all the protagonists: only Giorno, Mista and Bruno. Although Green Day's ability was quite menacing that it made some parties and almost entire citizens paralyzed.

Anyway, Green Day (and Oasis)'s battle hardly be compared to WOU, because it was clear that Cioccolata and Secco were not the main villains.

Caatofags definitely need to reread JJBA.

Donatello Versace 「Underworld」

Still published on WSJ, Underworld arc alone only happened in 6 chapters, hardly comparable to Wonder of U. Besides, the fight did not involve all protagonists: only Jolyne and Hermes.

After his solo arc ended, Donatello betrayed Pucci by stealing Weather Report's Memory Disc, Weather eventually regained his memory back. Thus, began the Heavy Weather arc where Donatello was no longer the main player. The focus shifted to the family drama between Pucci and Weather Report Wes Bluemarine. Donatello eventually died in the hand of Jolyne and Anasui, thanks to 「Whitesnake」’s illusion.

It was clear since the beginning that Donatello was not the main villain, he was introduced together with his half-brothers: Rikiel and Ungalo. Since the beginning of Stone Ocean, we followed Enrico Pucci’s character as antagonist.

Pucci started from being shady until a few arcs later, we can see how he dominated the clash against the protagonist, that he sent his underlings, that he was a villain with grand purpose, that he had the most powerful Stands compared to other antagonists, thus made him the main villain. All of that was revealed even before Donatello’s first debut.

Caatofags definitely need to realize that JJBA has a broader plot and concept in every part than their fan-made parallelism.

4. Axel Ro 「Civil War」

As part 7 was started to be published on “Ultra Jump”, the average number of pages per chapter became greater than on WSJ, it is ±35 on average. Civil War arc only last for 4 chapters, which is ridiculous to even compare it to WOU, though I’d say that it had troubled most of the protagonists (excluding Lucy).

Civil War arc has been very meaningful arc, and it had paved the way to the beginning of confrontation with Funny Valentine, the main villain. Since then, the long battle between the protagonists (plus Diego and Wekapipo) and the main villain has begun. The D4C arc itself was slightly punctuated by the Chocolate Disco arc, albeit very briefly.

Funny Valentine, as the US president, had fairly major role since the beginning. He had also clashed with Johnny's gang several times in gathering the Holy Corpse’s parts. But, the direct confrontation between him and the protagonists (with other factions) eventually began after Civil War arc ended, thus his status as the main villain became very clear.

Axel Ro himself only appeared in his arc Civil War, which of course it made him absolutely NOT the main villain.

Caatofags definitely need to improve their reading comprehension.

「Wonder of U」

main villains comparison

Wonder of U arc began at the same time as the investigation and the pursuit of Josuke's gang on HD Akefu's identity. Since then, WOU has been attacking them with "calamity". It has directly been attacking major factions that are fighting over The New Locacaca: Josuke, Yasuho, Rai, Jobin, and Mitsuba.

If we also consider the "calamity" that WOU said in chapters 99 and 100, that it also affects those around the target indirectly:

The calamity that happened to Rai's family, starting from the insects’ infestation, the death of Rai's father by a landslide caused by a typhoon, the destruction of his pear orchard, the debt trap that had caught his family and the death of Rai's mother.

Then it can be assumed that what is happening in the Higashikata family right now:

Mitsuba has met Tooru, the school incident involving Tsurugi happened, Mitsuba saw the Head Doctor on CCTV, Jobin committed murder on Ojiro and Makorin, Tsurugi's illness that is getting worse, WOU which once again attacked Mitsuba exposed the New Locacaca, Norisuke IV’s investigation to the New Locacaca, the murder committed by Jobin got exposed, Jobin attacked Norisuke IV fatally, Norisuke IV’s dying, the terror of WOU to Mitsuba which eventually led to Jobin’s dying.

All of those happened because WOU had been attacking Mitsuba!

Don’t forget that Yasuho is also seriously injured and lost an arm at the moment because she was pursuing the HD.

And that’s how Rai is fatally injured by Josuke’s Soft & Wet.

WOU had successfully been causing chaos to the major parties: on Josuke’s side, Yasuho is seriously injured and Rai is also fatally injured. On Higashikata family, Jobin and Norisuke IV are dying and Tsurugi’s condition is getting worse, the rest of the family is also in panic.

And all of that happened in the chapters titled “Wonder of You (Your Miraculous Love)” and it’s still being continued with “Endless Calamity”, which is the keyword for its ability. Then how can the outcome in “Wonder of U” fight become comparable to the Cream, Green Day, Underworld and Civil War fights?

I think it’s kinda fortunate that Caato on her first debut has already revealed her Stand. If not, I'm sure Caatofags will take their opportunity to say that she is the real Wonder of U’s user.

Read further: The Climactic Battle of 「Wonder of U」

Read also: Wonder of U and its mechanism so far

The (weak) buildup of Tooru as “the villain”

Many readers have complained about Tooru's late debut and their lack of familiarity to him. They think that his role as “the big villain” was too sudden and out-of-nowhere.

I myself also don't want to rush to think of him as the main villain, at least until JJL's story is completely done. But for me, he deserves to be considered as a major villain. He alongside HD has provided greater tension than the previous villains in JJL.

Let’s get back to the readers’ doubt regarding Tooru's connection to 「Wonder of U」, I have just explained how powerful 「Wonder of U」 is with its ability that has been troublesome for most major characters, all “the calamity” that befell Rai’s family in the past and the Higashikata family (including Josuke’s gang) in the present are the work of 「Wonder of U」. Then…

The cover chapter of 99 really suggested that Tooru is connected to all the events that are happening. I do not know where the event in question began, is it only limited to the WOU arc? Or is it all the events that happened in JJL since the beginning? Or does it include the past as well?

Whatever it is, seeing 「Wonder of U」 which is also behind him, this made me even more convinced that he might be its user.

Suppose that he is the main villain…

Unlike most of the main villains from previous parts, in which they have started to play an active role at least halfway through the story, Tooru's debut happened when JJL seems to be entering its final arc.

That is also the reason for Caatofags who believe that Tooru will only be the final side villain, and they prefer Caato as the real main villain just because she appeared earlier in the story (despite her very limited appearance and development). Some of them also believed that JJL would have 40 or 50 more chapters to properly develop her. Only time will tell.

Tooru and Diavolo

The previous main villain who has a problem similar to Tooru is Diavolo. Diavolo's official debut happened when Vento Aureo was about to enter its climax. Since the beginning of part 5, Diavolo was just a mysterious figure who preferred to hide behind the scenes. His identity was unknown to his underlings. We had never seen his face until his debut in the beginning of the final fight. We don’t really know his personality (other than being hysterical and protective to Doppio).

But with the existence of Doppio, Diavolo and Doppio can be considered as one individual (who later experienced DID/split personalities), then Doppio's personality can also be considered as part of Diavolo's personality as well.

But there is a dispute between the opinion that believes them to be “two souls in one body/possession” and those who believe them to be “a case of DID”, that there are also readers who regard them as completely different characters. Regardless, I am pleased that Araki keeps this thing ambiguous.

However, Diavolo's role existed long before his fully appearance, we know that he was the boss of the most powerful mafia in Italy named Passione. We followed Giorno who joined the gang as a rookie. Starting from there, we knew the existence of "The Boss" and his mysterious nature.

Starting from Buccellati’s gang who carried out The Boss' orders to protect and escort his daughter, then turned into the betrayal from the gang. The boss who started as their superior turned into their main enemy. All of this happened before Diavolo even showed his face.

A bigger problem with Tooru compared to Diavolo is that: from the start of the story, we did not follow his character. We never heard about this part-timer who is also Yasuho's ex-boyriend. Let alone Tooru, we did not follow Head Doctor’s character as well since the beginning, both were built-up fairly late to the story.

Tooru and Kira Yoshikage (part 4)

While Kira had appeared much earlier than Tooru and Diavolo, Kira in part 4 also had a bit similarity with Tooru, namely that there was no foreshadowing of his character at the beginning of the story. He was only mentioned a few chapters away before his debut.

The beginning of the story in Diamond is Unbreakable did not start with Kira as a serial killer, but began with Josuke meeting his distant relative (Jotaro) and learning about his father (Joseph). After that, the story developed into the discovery of Stand users who had sprung up in Morioh.

Kira's existence was mentioned for the first time during the adventure of Rohan with Koichi. They met a ghost girl named Reimi who told them about a murder case in the past and the fact that the killer was still on the loose. A little intermezzo with Shigechi's arc until the official debut of the serial killer.

Kira was first mentioned in chapter 69 (volume 8) and officially debut in chapter 77 (volume 9) with the number of chapters in part 4 totaling 174 (18 volumes). Thus, Kira entered to the story right in the middle of part 4.

Unfortunately, Tooru had appeared much later than Kira in their respective parts and also with no apparent foreshadowing about him (prior to his debut). Of course, complaint from the readers become legit, especially for those who has a habit of comparing each part.

“With the lack of foreshadowing, Tooru as the big villain feels out-of-nowhere.”

Let us reexamine how the story works in part 8 since the beginning, a mandatory quick recap (just skip this if you find it boring):

It started from amnesiac Josuke who was found by Yasuho, together they were looking for Josuke's identity. They found about Kira Yoshikage, a ship doctor. Then Josuke met Norisuke IV and got adopted by the richest family in Morioh, The Higashikata.

Being adopted to The Higashikata gave Josuke chance to investigate the family tree, through the record, he found out about Holy Joestar, Kira’s mother and a doctor as well. The mother currently is seriously ill and being admitted at T.G.U Hospital. Josuke met Kyo and discovered about the “equivalent exchange” ability on Higashikata’s land.

Later, Josuke got attacked by Yagiyama Yotsuyu, the architect who works for Higashikata. Yotsuyu revealed the existence of rock-humans and Locacaca, the miraculous fruit. Apparently, Tsurugi, Norisuke IV’s grandson is hit by hereditary rock-disease, The Higashikata’s family curse.

Tsurugi’s illness is similar to Holy's condition, Locacaca fruit is believed to be able to heal them. Josuke intends to get the fruit to cure Holy, the fruit is connected to Jobin, Norisuke IV’s son. Josuke then investigated Jobin and found out about Damokan Group. Jobin and the group had been doing illicit business of smuggling Locacaca and money-laundering. Their business was discovered by Kira two years ago.

Josuke (Yasuho and Tsurugi) had been attacked several times by Damokan Group, who turned out to be the rock-humans. Sometimes ago, he met Karera and discovered about Josefumi, a part of his identity.

Josuke and The Higashikata family got attacked by Damo, the leader of Damokan Group. Damo revealed that Kira and Josefumi had stolen the Locacaca from them some months ago. The group got rid of them, but then it is revealed that Kira and Josefumi got fused and became Josuke because Locacaca fruit planted on Higashikata's land is consumed by them, which then dubbed as The New Locacaca. With the last of its member died, Damokan Group was disbanded.

The Higashikata's land does have healing properties, the Higashikata mothers (Tomoko and Caato) had been using the land in the past to cure their son of the rock-disease using a method called equivalent exchange.

Josuke and Yasuho were investigating Jobin, it was revealed by Dolomité that Jobin was a gofer aka not the big player in the “Locacaca games”. Dolomité hinted the existence of a bigger organization than Damokan Group.

Josuke set his eyes to get The New Locacaca in order to cure Holy. Josuke met Mamezuku Rai, a plant appraiser works for Higashikata, to identify The New Locacaca. Josuke, Rai and Yasuho got attacked by Urban Guerrilla, whom then also revealed as a doctor in T.G.U Hospital, he was instructed by Poor Tom who was also a doctor in T.G.U Hospital.

Meanwhile, Jobin worked with Poor Tom, to get rid Josuke and the plant appraiser. Jobin got tricked by Poor Tom and in return, he tricked Poor Tom (and Josuke) back by burning the orchard and using Tsurugi’s illusion). Poor Tom was eliminated by his own comrades who were disguised as ambulance drivers and Jobin secured the branch of The New Locacaca, which he would plant and use to cure his son.

Josuke and Rai were investigating the ambulance, meanwhile Yasuho was in T.G.U Hospital. She met Mitsuba, then both got attacked by Wu Tomoki, another doctor in T.G.U Hospital. In the middle of their fight, they met Tooru, who works as part-timer in the hospital. Wu revealed that Holy created the hidden Locacaca lab at the hospital but she failed in her research. Josuke finally came to finish off Wu.

Josuke, Yasuho and Rai began researching T.G.U Hospital and discovering its history and profile, they learned that Wu Tomoki, Urban Guerrilla, Poor Tom, and the unseen head doctor of the hospital were the only people to have entered the secret laboratory. Unable to find any information on the mysterious head doctor, they began to investigate him and that was where the Dangerous Pursuit with The Head Doctor had begun.

Josuke’s gang (with Yasuho and Rai), Jobin’s side (with Tsurugi and Mitsuba) and The Head Doctor gang, all of the factions are actively fighting over The New Locacaca for their respective objectives.

Just focus on the bolded words! Rock-humans, rock-disease (illness), equivalent exchange, Locacaca (the cure), doctors, hospital, etc, those are the core points in the story of JJL.

Problem 1: “The lack of foreshadow in Head Doctor gang as the big villain group.”

Part 8 which began with the search for Josuke's identity, also began with medical/health theme with “doctors” and “hospital” from the beginning (besides the motherhood of course). Just after Josuke got into a fight with Joshu, the setting moved to the hospital.

JJL chapter 2: Soft & Wet – part 1

Then, Josuke and Yasuho discovered Kira, a ship doctor.

JJL chapter 6: Soft & Wet – part 5

Later, Josuke found out about Holy, Kira’s mother who was also happened to be a doctor at T.G.U Hospital. She is currently being admitted at said hospital.

JJL chapter 11: Family Tree

Then we learned about the rock-disease, a mysterious illness that afflicts Higashikata family from generation to generation:

JJL chapter 26: Tsurugi Higashikata’s Goal and The Architect

and Locacaca, a mysterious fruit with healing properties:

JJL chapter 32:” I am A Rock” – part 2

38 chapters later, after Josuke finished dealing with Damokan Group (and Jobin), Dolomité gave him a hint about the existence of greater organization.

A flashback with Yasuho also had hospital as one of its settings.

JJL chapter 71: Hairclip of the Qing Dynasty

In a flashback of Jobin’s first meeting with Damokan Group at a stadium, he had a quarrel with his father a moment before. He mentioned about the doctors from T.G. University who have indirectly interfered with their family business:

JJL chapter 72: The Northern Higashikata Estate, The Orchard

Josuke’s gang had been fighting with Urban Guerilla, another doctor and a rock-human:

JJL chapter 70: Urban Guerilla and Doremifasolati Do – part 3

Josuke, Rai, with Jobin and his family were against Poor Tom, the rock-humans. The losing Poor Tom got eliminated by his comrades disguised as medics in an ambulance.

JJL chapter 77: Head to T.G. University Hospital

Said ambulance led Josuke’s gang to the T.G.U Hospital, the fight with one of Poor Tom’s comrades, Dr.Wu also happened there. And Tooru also made his first appearance there as a part-timer:

JJL chapter 81: Doctor Wu and Awaking 3 Leaves - Part 3

The fight with Dr. Wu revealed the Locacaca lab created by Holy. Josuke’s gang began investigating to anyone who has ever entered the lab and found a group of rock-humans who work as doctors in the hospital:

JJL chapter 83: The New Locacaca

In the same chapter (83), Tooru also revealed to Yasuho that he is a med student:

And the main fight with 「Wonder of U」 has been happening mostly in T.G.U Hospital.

Therefore, since the beginning, “doctors” have been prominent in JJL story, “the hospital” also becomes the dominant setting in Morioh (besides Higashikata’s house).

JJL has main themes such as "breaking the curse", “family” and " motherhood", but what can link all those things in JJL’s storyline are medical-related such as illness, the cure, hospital and doctor that are reflected in the presence of “rock-disease”, “Locacaca fruit” (as a miracle drug), the profession of majority characters as “doctors” and “the hospital” being one of the main settings.

Albeit subtle, having a villain group as the rock-humans gang who work as doctors is in line with the theme JJL has. As such, they have more involvement and closest influence in using Locacaca fruit or conducting research on it.

Besides, “doctors” and “hospital” as profession and place for taking care the sick and the weak often traditionally associated with the nature of nurture in “motherhood”.

Problem 2: “The lack of relation and coordination between Head Doctor gang and the previous villain gang, Damokan Group.”

The Head Doctor gang only debuted after around 2/3 of JoJolion’s story up to the latest chapter (100), without apparent foreshadowing either. This becomes problem for some readers, so their opinion is divided. Some of them think that Head Doctor gang and Damokan Group are separate groups that operate independently, besides the plot hints that Damokan Group is connected to HD.

Therefore, readers find it a little difficult to think of HD gang as Damokan Group's superior. They consider Damokan Group and HD gang more as “two separated & independent villain groups” than as “one structured villainous organization”, and then concluded that HD gang is not an organization belonging to the main villain.

Such way of thinking is not false, the manga itself has implicated several times that there is a lack of coordination between HD gang and Damokan Group, even more so than Passione with its mysterious Boss.

JJL chapter 70: Urban Guerilla and Doremifasolati Do – part 3

JJL chapter 92: The Wonder of You (Your Miraculous Love) – part 9

The only things connecting them are: the fact that they are the rock-humans, Locacaca which is in their interest, and that they know each other. So, it is the case of yes but actually no.

The rock-humans and Locacaca, those two things are what defined JJL (part 8). The rock-humans came as the race of mysterious beings, who live side by side with humans but do not have mutual relations.

Araki has several times provided information regarding rock-humans, about their biology and also how they work in society, while he has made rock-humans into “the villain”. As both HD gang and Damokan Group are the rock-humans organization, let’s focus on the info regarding “how the rock-humans work in society”.

JJL chapter 46: Love Love Deluxe – part 4

From the beginning, Araki had emphasized that the rock-humans have incompatibility relationship with regular humans, that they have differences in the ways of life, philosophical views, and so on. Since the beginning of their debut through Yotsuyu (who had stolen a man’s identity), the rock-humans’ nature is antagonistic to the humans.

Therefore, it's no wonder that Araki made them “the villains” for the protagonists (and regular humans). It’s a reminiscing of The Pillar Men from Battle Tendency (part 2).

Based on Araki’s narration, rock-humans shouldn't have been created to conflict with carbon-based (regular) humans, but rather to serve as a backup instead those carbon-based beings fail. But over time, their existence has become like “day and night”, “sun and moon”, “black and white”, etc. Eventually, the rock-humans will always conflict with carbon-based (regular) humans.

Chapter 99 also said that even with each other, rock-humans do not have close bond or affection for each other. Starting from the rock-women who have no affection to their babies, the rock-humans live without parental figures and rely only on survivability.

The fact that since the very beginning they were born, the rock-humans were not familiar with the concepts of affection and intimation. Even in working together, there is no love and friendship between them.

JJL chapter 99: Endless Calamity – part 5

Therefore, based on all the explanations regarding the rock-humans, of course it makes perfect sense that the relationship between HD gang and Damokan Group were so lacking, it would not be any further than just mutual benefit.

Even when compared to the relationship between the teams in Passione, where there were (still) competition, selfishness and hidden agendas between them, HD gang and Damokan Group feel less coordinated than Passione.

But that's how rock-humans work in collaboration and organization, that’s how they operate. A sense of detachment is what truly defines rock-humans:

Rock-human babies are detached to their biological mothers.

Damokan Group is detached from HD gang.

The members of HD gang are detached from each other (as we don’t really see them communicated to each other “on-panel”).

Tooru, as the leader of HD gang, is detached to his underlings (as we never see him leading his men “on-panel”).

Suppose that Tooru is “de facto” leader of HD gang…

A brilliant Anon from 4chan summarized a possibility of Tooru as the big villain, orchestrating the plot in JJL:

Tooru as the true mastermind in Locacaca conspiracy through Head Doctor gang represents exactly how the rock-humans work (in society). “Blending” and “not standing out” in society are their nature. Tooru as the hidden leader of HD gang has also successfully made us the readers completely unable to predict his existence (something some readers complain about as: the lack of foreshadowing).

JJL chapter 92: The Wonder of You (Your Miraculous Love) – part 9

Tooru and Diavolo are both “The Boss” who lead their underlings in the shadows. But in the case of Diavolo, we can still see him giving instructions to his men remotely (via message), his underlings aware of his existence while questioning his identity.

And in the case of Tooru, who was impersonating as The Head Doctor Akefu Satoru, using his Stand 「Wonder of U」, his subordinates (perhaps) were completely unaware of his true existence, let alone his identity, which ultimately rendered himself unknown to us (the readers).

Tooru and 「Wonder of U」 are Diavolo’s wet dream. Diavolo who had been desperately hiding his identity was still terrorized by his former underlings who were after him. However, until now, Josuke, Rai, Yasuho and the Higashikata family who has been terrorized by WOU still don’t realize that Tooru is the source of all this.

Thematic Parallelism and Aesthetical Points

Rather than using story progression, action sequences and information (such as narrative box and mentions), JoJo fans nowadays prefer to focus on thematic significance (such as parallelism) and symbolism (aesthetical points) in determining “who will be the main villain”. It’s not that Tooru is lacking in those things, it's just that the fans overlook them in favor of hyping another character.

For example, in the panel above (just now), it is the members of the Head Doctor gang, taken from chapter 99 when we got new information regarding the rock-humans and their purpose to exist in this world. HD gang has become the antagonist group after Damokan Group finished.

Tooru is placed at the back (which coincidentally, he also appeared the last). The positions of the other members in front of Tooru are placed in a zigzag manner. Even Poor Tom, who is at the very front, leans slightly to the left.

Tooru’s position is in the middle of the panel and the most obvious, with his body also clearly visible, that he is standing behind them as if everything the other members were doing was under his instruction.

What is even more interesting: there is the absence of Akefu Satoru, I think this should be an implication that Tooru might indeed be HD Akefu's true identity, not his right-hand man as readers (wanted) to think initially.

Tooru also has little accessories that adorn his attire, as readers often think that JJL has a "motherhood" theme, the accessories on his attire could also be a symbol representing that theme:

Yeah, it’s a “bear”, so what do bears have to do with motherhood? Forgive me for answering a question with a question, but have you ever heard the term "mama bear"? Like many other mammals depicted throughout history as predators, bears are actually passive animals, and won't attack humans unless provoked. Despite this, if you even think about getting between a mother bear and her cub she'll tear straight through you. Threaten her children, and you are in for a world of hurt.

Of course, Tooru doesn’t have to be a mother to be the villain as Josuke the protagonist himself is not a mother (LOL).

JJL chapter 99: Endless Calamity – part 5

In addition, rock-baby Tooru also took over the body of hornet queen, “mother among mothers” which kinda implied that he became “the mother" of the hornet colony (for multiple generations).

Interestingly, in the cover of chapter 99, Araki has drawn a part of Tooru's trousers with Locacaca as the motif. Perhaps Araki really wanted to say that Tooru has a hand with Locacaca.

Then, regarding the parallelism, what is popular among readers is about "selflessness vs selfishness" that both protagonists and antagonists might represent. In mothers, it has been represented by Holy and Caato. It could also be represented by Josuke and Jobin, but what about Tooru?

His appearance which is still far less than Jobin makes it difficult for us to judge his true personality. However, his latest revelation as a rock-human can be used as a reference to his true nature, that being rock-human is not much different from being selfish. At least, we have seen that he has no intention of saving Yasuho (an act of selflessness) and he chose to continue his objective to acquire the New Locacaca (an act of selfishness).

Lastly, the Head Doctor gang and Damokan Group, both are the rock-humans villainous organization where one represents “medical experts/specialists” and the other represents illegal “pharmacy” that supply Locacaca (the cure) like a drug cartel… and Tooru supposedly was behind them.

Read also: JJL chapter 101: The Good and The Bad of “Symbolization”

Rock-Humans’ & The New Locacaca (Tooru’s possible motivation)

There is a small theory on why Tooru wants to perfect the Locacaca's Equivalent Exchange using the "New Locacaca", it has been written by u/TheNemesisT on reddit:

It's been pointed out during the exposition about Rock Humans birth process how the Female Rock Humans can reproduce with normal humans, but not the other way around. We've been also told in said exposition, that:

They also treasure places and objects that grant them special abilities. (JJL chapter 99)

Rock Humans lack the capacity to form "social bonds", with some exceptions such as the “Damokan Group” and the T.G.U. Doctors.

JoJolion has touched a lot of themes through these 100 chapters, but the recurring theme since chapter 001 has been “family and identity”, the rock-humans have neither of these, they are fabricated beings with fabricated identities, so to speak.

Despite the fact that Rock Humans lack the capacity to form social bonds, we've seen how some of them, such as Aishō tried to form relationships other than business, but ended up failing due to his rock-human nature.

Taking what we've seen up until this point of Tooru and Yasuho's relationship, we can assume Tooru is indeed the kind of rock-human that has tried to form relationships but ultimately, he put his nature to get anything that upgrades his being first.

From the speech given by "Akefu Satoru" we know that the New Locacaca's equivalent exchange is perfect, and it can mix and heal anything so perfectly that it would be unnoticeable. Putting it in simple words: Why would Tooru care about health if he lacks actual compassion for other beings?

The New Locacaca is the object rock-humans need to evolve. If it works as intended and the mix is perfect, it would give the rock-humans the ability to reproduce properly, it would grant them something they've never had, families and identities, the New Locacaca would grant them the ability to become “humans”.

This also relates to the theory proposed by u/Mamezuku from reddit:

What if rock-women no longer exist anymore? We have never seen any rock-woman (besides the flashback), only groups of men so far. What if the Doctors are trying to use the Locacaca in order to create a legacy, a rock-baby? That's why the perfect New Locacaca is very important to the Head Doctor’s gang. Notice how the narrator specified in this very chapter how normal men can make babies with rock-women, but not vice versa. The growth process that a rock-human has to go through is extremely harsh and difficult, hence why there's not many rock-human alive. What if no rock-women survive in this generation and only rock-men are left now? This would be an awesome motive for the rock-humans (Tooru) and so far it looks like it's heading this way.

Tooru and the other remaining villain candidates

Jobin and Tooru

Assuming that Jobin will survive (as his death isn’t confirmed yet): compared to Tooru, Jobin definitely had more screen time than him, which automatically makes him a more developed character. We have been following Jobin’s character much longer than Tooru, thus he left a deeper impression on readers than Tooru.

We already know who he is and are pretty familiar with him, we know what thing he likes, his relationship with his family, and his background is pretty clear. We have seen his flashback, we also have seen plenty enough about his Stand 「Speed King」. His motivation is not grandiose and idealistic but very humane, he only cares to his family and it’s always about his family.

He has a pretty good standing as the heir of Higashikata family, the richest family in Morioh. He was cooperating with Damokan Group in Locacaca smuggling and money-laundering, but Damokan Group's position as underling to HD gang and Jobin status to them as merely a gofer makes his connection to the Locacaca less influential compared to “Head Doctor”.

Tooru seemingly has a greater objective in utilizing The New Locacaca. He is just confirmed as a rock-human being and allegedly is the leader and the mastermind of the Locacaca Organization. As he has the access to assume The Head Doctor of T.G.U Hospital, it’s clear that he’s holding a high position. His Stand, 「Wonder of U」is already considered powerful and very dangerous.

However, his real identity and his origin as an individual is still unknown, his personal motive is also still in the dark. Though slowly but surely, his identity is being revealed. Chapter after chapter increasingly assures us that Tooru will be the actual “Head Doctor” that was in undercover.

Chapter 99 confirmed that he is a rock-human and also the perpetrator who ruined Rai's family & his life in the past. It's clear that Tooru also wants The New Locacaca. It’s also implied that being a rock-human, he is older than he looks and he also knows about “the saint”. There is still a possibility that we will see his connection with the pasts that have not been revealed yet.

Caato and Tooru

Caato had appeared 26 chapters earlier than Tooru, thus making the readers more familiar to her than him. Besides, her first appearance also gives a very strong impression on the readers. Araki totally dedicated her debut by giving her a dramatic shoots in the first chapter she appeared.

Caato's second appearance also added to the hype for readers, the supposedly entertaining family reunion scene also added mystery to her character regarding the murder she committed and the mysterious “15 years contribution” to the family business she claimed.

Caato also got her backstory along with Jobin, making her character even compelling and more solid. But unfortunately, many readers have misunderstood the true meaning of her backstory as Caato is surrounded with the overhypeness her supporters do for her.

Tooru did appear later than Caato, his appearance which was done very natural gives little impression to the readers. We knew almost nothing about Tooru during his early appearances. However, Araki is passionately developing his character in his recent chapters. We got information and solid hints regarding Tooru much more than Caato (and her supporters try to provide).

So far, Caato only appeared in 4 chapters and that's only how much her actual development is. Tooru had appeared in 10 chapters, he had already surpassed her appearance (and development) and will likely more. Unless, Caato will reappear again… only time will tell.

Conclusion (aka TL;DR)

Tooru’s debut which came quite late and with a weak impression as well causes the readers doubt his role as major villain. Even if the main villain's role will be his, readers would probably rate him fairly low (a similar case to Diavolo).

Jobin can even end up being fan-favorite villain, besides him not being “the main”. And if Caato will end up to be the main villain, I don’t think that she will be rated highly too, people will realize how ridiculous her hype was at the time.

So far, JJBA already had 8 story parts in it, and the story of each part is very unique to one another. Therefore, the conflict and the villain’s situation contained in each section should not work similarly.

Based on those eight parts, pattern and formula are getting noticeable. However, we should be aware that those patterns are being played with flexibility.

That Araki might use the "pattern" as a reference so that he doesn't make JJBA deviate from its world-building that has been set since the beginning.

But the pattern should not limit his creativity either, because as “the god" in the world he created, he has the right to add new ideas and concepts that have never been considered by readers before.

Here, I am trying to dig deeper into the story of JJL, in “what is this really about?” By studying the true meaning of JJL, I found that the concept of Tooru as the main villain in this story is very likely to work.

But Araki is not “the perfect” writer, we humans can't possibly please everyone. Using Tooru as the main villain has the potential to disappoint some readers. Because the readers’ taste does not always correspond with what is truly desired by Araki.

That's why I respect Araki, he is such unwavering writer. The opinions of his readers do not affect what he truly wants to say in the stories he writes.

He is also an experimental writer who is often interested in trying (and adding) new things to his world. Stone Ocean's failure did not discourage him, so he was able to create “a part” that becomes the most favorite among today's readers: Steel Ball Run.

Besides, as time goes by, readers are also beginning to appreciate Stone Ocean. In the end, the message that Araki wanted to convey in part 6 finally reached the readers who are willing to explore it more in depth.

SBR's success did not make Araki satisfied in his comfort zone, so he created a whole new story concept that very differs from SBR and all the parts he's ever created, a story with mystery as its main theme named JoJolion.

And with the mysterious nature JoJolion has, Araki makes the identity of the main villain much more mysterious than the previous parts. We as readers are still wondering who will be the main villain even after 100 chapters have already passed. Will it be Tooru? Again… only time will tell.

Of course there was always a risk in making Tooru the main villain, however, I believe that Araki is ready to accept that risk. He is such a writer who writes what he wants to write, not what his readers ask.

Related post: The cacophony of JJL main villains (how JoJolion can be saved)

Read also: Kira Holy Joestar, the underrated 52-years-old mother

#tooru jojo #jojolion spoilers #jojo meta #jojo's bizarre adventure #my thoughts #jjba main villain #satoru akefu #head doctor jojo #character study #jjba part 8 #jojo's bizarre analysis #jjba meta #main villain theory #caato #read this caatofags #before you come up with another weird theory #stfu caatofags

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mayquita · 5 years

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The Art of (Fake)Dating - (2/5)

@shardminds , as promised, here’s the second part of your gift. Thank you all for your comments, notes, likes, kudos and reviews. Also, as usual in me, what at first was going to be a short scene has become a section of over a thousand words, so I had to add one more part. Since my inspiration continues, I plan to post the third part in a couple of days :)

Apologies in advance because there will probably be around a million mistakes. I hope you like it despite that :)

Thanks to @cssecretsanta2k19 for organizing the event and making sure everything worked correctly.

Summary: When Emma agrees to be Killian’s fake girlfriend she expects it to be a one-time thing. However, and despite getting an enemy in the form of an overprotective brother, she ends up becoming an expert in the art of fake dating even though she can’t stand her fake boyfriend, at least at the beginning.

Ao3 / FFNet / Part 1

The Art of (Fake) Dating - Part 2

To Emma's surprise, dinner wasn't a total disaster. She was received quite warmly by the whole family and everyone behaved in a civilized manner. Killian had been right, Elsa, his sister-in-law, seemed like a kind person, and his four-year-old twin nephews were indeed adorable.

Before entering the house and being introduced, Emma had already put on her imaginary protective shell, and felt ready to face any sharp comment or lecture that Killian's brother might have prepared for her. She had dealt with worse, no doubt. However, as the evening progressed Emma was able to relax a little, due in part to the fact that all the family members were making great efforts to have lively conversations. Anna, Elsa's sister, seemed a natural in that regard, as she barely kept her mouth shut except to chew her food. The kids were also a constant source of distractions and entertainment.

The tension in the atmosphere was so thick that you could cut it with a knife, though. Even so, Emma was immediately attracted to the strange dynamics of Killian's family so she couldn't help but carefully observe everyone's behavior around the table.

She watched as any attempt by Elsa to approach Killian was met with a guarded attitude from her fake boyfriend, which surprised Emma since Elsa seemed to try hard to engage him in all kinds of conversations and seemed especially interested in knowing everything about their life back in Storybrooke.

Killian kept that kind of reserved stance almost continuously, with his shoulders tensed up, a fake half-smile adorning his lips and his eyebrows slightly furrowed. It was as if he also wore a protective shield, as if he were reluctant to reveal anything about him or his lifestyle.

Killian's features only softened with his nephews or when he addressed Emma, which happened quite often, as part of his role as a fake boyfriend, she supposed.

As for their performance, they seemed quite convincing. Emma was good at studying people through their body language, due to her former profession as a bail bond person and, luckily for her, this family was quite easy to read. No one showed signs of suspecting anything about their farce. Even so, they did carry out some timid public displays of affection that basically consisted of Killian placing his arm around her shoulders in a protective attitude, although she wasn't sure about who he intended to protect, her from any possible attack by his brother or himself.

In fact, Emma noticed how his displays of affection increased each time Killian interacted with his brother. He might have done it unconsciously, but it was on these occasions when he placed his arm on the back of her seat, casually brushing her hair or giving a slight squeeze to her shoulder while his fake smile transformed into a thin line.

Liam also wore a grim expression most of the time. Unlike his wife, he made no effort to get close to Killian and even less to address Emma. He just threw a handful of scathing comments here and there and he occasionally gave her sidelong glances charged with disapproval.

At the moment when Killian offered to prepare coffees after dinner, Emma saw her opportunity to inquire a little more about this strange family dynamic, so she also volunteered to help him. Emma wasn't sure how he would take her offer when it seemed clear that he had used the coffee excuse to escape for a while from the tension around him. Luckily, the smile of gratitude he offered her dispelled all her doubts.

Emma still wasn't sure if she liked this new, more vulnerable version of Killian. In a way, that made him more human, and, although it might seem contradictory, more accessible, so she felt confident enough to approach the subject at the time they found themselves in the kitchen shelter.

"Whoa! So much tension over there." She mumbled, earning a quiet chuckle from him, his features relaxing immediately.

"I already warned you, Swan, didn't I?" The way he raised an eyebrow suggestively did things to her but she opted to ignore it. It was as if there had been a kind of magical effect, since, by the time they had disappeared from the living room, Killian had transformed into the cocky guy she knew, leaving behind the stormy expression he had worn throughout the entire evening.

"So, you were right about Elsa and the kids. But I don't get it, you seem quite tense when you talk to her."

Killian did not answer immediately, merely carrying out his coffee-making task. Nor did the tension seem to have completely abandoned him, a twitching muscle in his jaw betrayed him. Still, when he looked back at her, the ghost of a smile appeared on his face.

"It's just that my beloved sister-in-law continues to insist on knowing all the details about my life back in Storybrooke, information that could be used against me for the asshole I have for a brother."

"But she seems genuinely interested." Emma insisted, not understanding the logic of his statement.

"I know love, but I'd rather not take a chance."

They continued to work in silence, although Emma seemed unable to take her eyes off him for more than two seconds. He was especially hot today, that kind of sulky expression suiting him quite well. Besides, he was too close, causing her to feel not only the warmth emanating from him, but the hint of his scent. The moment he placed his hand in the small of her back to reach something in the upper compartment of the cupboard she felt a kind of electric shock running through her body. Get a grip, Emma!

"By the way, you did so well, Swan. I knew it was a good idea to bring you here since at least Liam has had the decency to behave correctly most of the time."

Great, now he was complimenting her and offering her one of his trademark disarming smiles. And he was too close. And had his eyes always been so blue?

This new direction in their relationship was causing a spiral of emotions swirling inside her, to the point that she wasn't sure how to act, so she decided to let her instinct take control. She flirted back.

"Uhm, we'll see. The night is not over yet and I've already caught some glances of disapproval from your brother towards me. But don't worry, I can handle it." She lowered her voice and winked at him before grabbing one of the trays and heading back towards the living room.

While walking, she couldn't prevent a smile of self-confidence from appearing on her face, while a sense of pride settled in her stomach.

Her progress was short, though. She hadn't even reached the door when she noticed Killian's presence right behind her, causing her to slow down when she felt his warm breath caressing her ear while whispering, "I didn't doubt for a moment that you could handle it, love. I chose you for a reason, after all."

This time it was Killian who winked at her before walking past her. The last thing Emma saw before he disappeared through the door was a smirk she wanted to erase with her own lips.

Dammit!

They were going to share a bedroom, of course. Emma looked closely at the assigned accommodation, taking advantage that Killian was busy with his baggage. At least the bed was a considerable size, so the chances of accidental touches under the sheets were limited. She was no longer sure that was a positive aspect, though.

After letting out a quiet sigh, she grabbed her bag of toiletries and pajamas and headed for the bathroom, located outside the room, next door. She needed a moment of privacy to try to pull herself together, reminding herself as she watched her reflection in the mirror that she really couldn't stand Killian, that she had her reasons for her dislike towards him and that it wasn't a big deal to literally sleep with him. Still, if she took more time than necessary in her beauty routines before going to sleep, only she would know.

When Emma returned to the bedroom, she found that Killian had already chosen his side of the bed. He had settled on the left side with his back against the headboard and seemed focused on the screen of his phone, so much that he acknowledged her arrival with barely a brief glance at her. He was wearing flannel pajama pants and a tank top that exposed the toned muscles of his arms. No big deal at all.

Emma also realized that he had removed his prosthesis. It wasn't the first time she had seen him without it, although on those previous occasions he was in a much more vulnerable position. Still, she took it as a good sign. At least he was comfortable enough around her not to feel the need to use it, right?

Emma's gaze shifted for a moment to the armchair located in a corner. The mere sight of that piece of furniture caused a wave of annoyance to wash over her. Killian had directly assumed that they would share a bed, he hadn't even bothered to show certain chivalry by offering to sleep somewhere else. Even worse, he might have assumed that she would be the one to sleep in the armchair.

What's wrong with me? Emma walked across the bedroom to her travel bag to put her clothes inside while she mentally recriminated herself for the mixed feelings dancing inside her. A few minutes before the two of them were flirting openly not only in front of his family but also privately and now she felt that her negative thoughts were emerging taking control.

Deep down, Emma was aware that she was actually afraid of rejection. She couldn't deny that she wanted him, badly. But it seemed that the feeling wasn't reciprocal. Killian had barely noticed her when she had entered the room, for God's sake! She had no choice but to resign herself and continue playing along with the farce.

Her escalation of thoughts was interrupted with a sound coming from the bed. When she turned her head she found that Killian had walked to the foot of the bed and was pushing it so that the headboard hit the wall.

"What the hell..."

Her words were cut off by Kilian who looked at her as he put his index finger on his lips. "Shush! We don't want to spoil the performance, do we?" His words came in a whisper as he continued his task.

"What the hell are you doing?" She whispered back as she approached him, watching his movements through her narrowed eyes.

"Isn't it obvious, Swan?" He muttered as he waved his eyebrows at her in a somewhat lascivious way. As if to prove his point he vigorously pushed the bed again, hitting the wall.

Something was definitely not working well in her brain, because she needed several seconds to process what was really happening. When she finally realized it, her eyes widened with surprise and then she pursed her lips before addressed him again.

"The bedroom on the other side is your brother's, isn't it?" He didn't even bother to answer, he simply pushed the bed against the wall one more time. "What are you, seven?"

"I'm simply giving him an actual reason to make him pissed off."

She couldn't believe what was happening, so she just stood there observing in disbelief with her arms crossed over her chest, unable to decide if his act was a brilliant plan or the most ridiculous idea. One thing was clear, he didn't even seem to have contemplated the possibility of not faking the act or even asking her to contribute by adding some other (human) sounds to make the performance more credible. Somehow the idea that he hadn't counted on her bothered her more than it should.

After one last push, he seemed satisfied, a smile of triumph appeared on his face as he returned to the bed. Only then did he seem to notice her presence, as he patted the empty side of the bed while gesturing with his head inviting her to accompany him. "Come on, love. We've got tired enough, it's time to rest."

Emma rolled her eyes before showing her middle finger up in a childish gesture, but after all, she just witnessed the performance of a naughty boy instead of the one of a grown-ass man, so she was just getting at his level.

The laugh that he released managed to annoy her even more, so, continuing with her childish pattern, she threw a cushion to his face, which he caught before reaching its target, while his laugh became even louder.

"You're an idiot, you know it, don't you?" She mumbled before getting into bed and lying on one side, turning her back on him. Two seconds later she rolled again, facing him. "Just for your interest, in case Liam makes any reference to our performance," she placed air quotes around the last two words and paused deliberately before continuing, "I intend to tell him that it was really you who felt the need to take manual care of your own businesses. Good night."

The last thing she saw before rolling back to her previous position and switching off the light on her bedside table was how his grin disappeared from his face.

"It's not funny, Swan." He grumbled, but she didn't even bother to reply. Luckily, he couldn't see her face, because otherwise, he would have met a huge smirk and an expression of triumph.

Silence finally fell into the bedroom and that's when Emma allowed herself to relax a little. That sensation barely lasted, though, since she was immediately hyperaware of Killian's presence beside her, even though he had made sure to maintain a considerable space between them.

A soft tingling spread across her skin at the possibility of any accidental touch, but she remained still, noting how he kept moving on the other side of the bed, as if he didn't find a comfortable position.

Her heart began beating frantically in her chest as her stomach fluttered in anticipation. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Killian seemed to settle under the covers, ceasing any movement. Just when a feeling of disappointment gripped her, she heard his voice coming in a barely audible whisper and causing a chill to run down her spine. "Thank you for helping me, Swan. Sleep well."

All her previous anger vanished after hearing his words, being replaced by a deeper and also more dangerous feeling. In an attempt to keep her emotions at bay, she closed her eyes stubbornly, praying that the sleep would come soon, because otherwise, she didn't know if she would be able to control her desire to turn around and search for his lips.

It wasn't going to be so easy to fall asleep, Emma was aware of that, but she tried to leave her mind blank as she wrapped herself up to her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. It was then that she realized something, causing her eyes to widen again. She had completely forgotten to take off her contacts, and even worse, she had left both the glasses and the cleansing solution in the damn bathroom.

Letting out a huff of annoyance, she removed the sheets and sat up while muttering, "I need to use the bathroom."

"Again?"

"Yes, Jones, again. Don't bother waiting for me awake, I guess you're exhausted after your previous performance." She snapped at him before leaving the room without looking back.

Once again, Emma took advantage of the privacy of the bathroom to calm her inner turmoil. She didn't even know why she had been so upset with Killian after his smart childishness. In other circumstances, she would have even offered to cooperate, especially if that meant bothering Liam. She might not know the guy enough but she had already decided that she hated him even more than she hated Killian even though she barely had any detail about their common backstory.

Emma took her time to take off her contacts and then brushed her hair again and made sure there were no traces of makeup left on her face. After taking a deep breath and let it out slowly, she finally felt determined enough to return to their bedroom.

Luck wasn't on her side tonight, though. As soon as she opened the bathroom door she came face to face with Liam, who looked like he had been waiting for her. Her surprise was such that she let out a little yelp as she put her hand to her chest in an attempt to calm her agitated heart.

"My apologies, lass." Both his tone and his expression indicated that he didn't feel sorry at all. "I couldn't sleep due to an inexplicable noise in my bedroom, so I decided to go down to the kitchen and prepare something to drink. Then I saw the light coming from the bathroom and... here we are."

Fuck! Emma hoped the gloom in the hallway was enough to hide the blush that had surely appeared on her cheeks. "I... I forgot to take off my contacts." She replied while pointing at her glasses. Luckily, she managed to maintain a neutral enough tone. "But it's late, so it will be better if I..."

"In fact, I thought that since you and I have barely had the opportunity to talk before, now that we're alone it would be a good time to have a little conversation. Would you like some tea?"

No.

Go back to the bedroom.

"I prefer hot chocolate." The words came out of her mouth without her having a chance to stop them. Seriously, what was wrong with her today?

"Hot chocolate will be." Emma didn't like at all the grin that appeared on Liam's face, to the point that she was tempted to change her mind and run away to hide behind the door of her bedroom. She was an adult woman, though, so it was better for her to behave in a mature way so that at least she wouldn't contribute to making Liam's impression of her even worse. For that reason, when he stepped aside reaching up his arm to point the way, she had no choice but to accept. "After you, lass."

So she was going to receive a lecture. As Emma walked down the stairs to the kitchen she felt like the girl that had been sent to the principal's office after committing mischief. Her stomach tightened into knots but she felt a renewed energy spreading through her body. She might be about to get a scolding, but she wasn't going to make it easy for him. Like Killian, if she had to resort to somewhat extreme measures to annoy Liam, she wasn't going to hesitate to use them. They were a team for a reason, right? A Fake one, but a team after all.

Thanks for reading :)

Happy New Year!!

#cs ff #captain swan #csss #cssecretsanta2k19 #mayquita writes #my cs writings #the art of (fake)dating #cs au

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iya5rt · 4 years

Text

Kalopsia Project [Bakugo Katsuki x Reader – Tokyo Ghoul AU]

Epilogue – re:Kalopsia Project

Chapter Summary: Despite its ever-changing nature, life waits for nobody. It continues on, and so do you.

Quick Note!! This drawing you see here was done by the wonderful @CxldRain over on Wattpad!! Please, please, please check them out!! I am seriously so honored and thank you so much♥

Kalopsia Project Masterpost

“And now – exclusive information coming straight from the police about a discovery from a few days ago. Following an anonymous call reporting a sighting of multiple ghouls, police and Investigators from the CCG were led to the site of the raid from 4 years ago in which All Might – a renowned investigator, lost his life in a brutal fight against a skilled and feared ghoul nicknamed Endeavor by the CCG. The building, a former research facility of the CCG, which was thought to have been abandoned following the raid, was discovered to still have been in use.

“Inside, the police found traces of a fight and continuous use of the facility for the last couple of years. It resurfaced that this had been the main operating headquarters of a horrific human experimentation project. Unfortunately, no further data could be recovered and the organization responsible for this project has yet to be unveiled. The police are working together with the CCG to get to the bottom of this baffling case.

“The man thought to be the mastermind behind this inhumane act was caught at the scene. So far, his claims have been insufficient and, according to the CCG’s research department, false and contradictory. Multiple of his supposed “subjects” were discovered at the scene. Two of them appeared to have been killed by a ghoul, while the rest were temporarily incapacitated. Multiple organizations are currently looking into the matter, so stay tuned and we will keep you updated.

“Now, to have a look at the situation in the second ward. Sightings of the binge-eater ghoul which had been terrorizing the ward for a couple of months now have gone silent. No new victims have been discovered since the suspicious scene with no remains from last week. Has the threat been eliminated? Will the second ward finally be able to-“

The woman’s monotone voice coming from the small TV sharply cut off. Or rather, it was the sound of the TV instead that disappeared, as Monoma let out a frustrated sigh and set down the remote. He sure was getting quite the attention, though perhaps a news reporter wondering if he was finally dead for good wasn’t the attention he had been hoping for.

It was yet another bright and early morning at the small café which held a tiny secret most knew nothing of. The late-night venture of its staff from a couple nights ago hadn’t made it to all of the news stations quite yet (seems like the CCG still wanted to keep it under wraps as long as possible) and the concern and rumors hadn’t spread among the public for now. Of course, everything had been so carefully planned out, so as to not allow a single unsuspecting person to discover what exactly had transpired there.

One by one, the rest of Yuuei’s staff finished up their morning chores and gathered in the main area, sitting beside the counter, at the tables, or already working on preparing for the day (poor Midoriya and Todoroki had it tough).

Monoma’s eyes swept across the bunch of people and he raised a brow.

“Well, would you look at that. We’re starting any moment now, yet [L/N]-chan is nowhere to be seen.”

“She should be arriving very soon,” Ida chimed in. “Apparently she’s squeezing in some more kagune training with Bakugo-kun whenever she can.” Monoma followed up with a small hum.

“Huh, is that so…? Won’t the customers get worried she’s all bruised and beaten when they see her then?” his raised brow fell and he leaned back against the counter. Uraraka tried to stifle a giggle but failed.

“No way. Bakugo-kun’s still probably going easy on her. At least until her regeneration’s good enough, that is. And who knows,” she muttered to herself. “Maybe even after that.” Another giggle slipped out through her knowing grin. Meanwhile, Monoma’s curiosity turned into a devilish smirk.

“Betcha they’re just making out the whole time-“

Smack!

The towel easily knocked his head forward, leaving him to rub at his reddening neck, as a couple people laughed a little.

“I heard that, you know?” you reached out to retrieve your towel. Hey, he deserved much worse. You were being nice. Not minding Monoma’s pouting face, you dug around for your apron. “Once I get the hang of it, I plan to challenge you to a fight. Get back at you for that oh so pleasant “date” we had.”

“You’re welcome to do so. Any time you like, in fact.” Monoma closed his eyes and put a hand to his chest in a dramatic gesture. “I don’t plan on losing to a newbie.” His eyes looked back at you, a challenge just as clear evident in them.

Though, like you had said, that challenge would have had to wait. They weren’t wrong – you still had a long way to go before you could proclaim to have all the meticulous control over your kagune you’d need to take down somebody as experienced as him. Landing a single blow on Katsuki was already next to impossible throughout your training sessions.

But when that day was to finally come, you were determined to turn the tables on him. On both of them.

Another thought resurfaced in your mind.

“Oh, that’s right! Seems like only Kirishima-kun will make to today’s interview. I hope that won’t be a problem. The rest should manage to find a free slot by the end of the week though!”

“Interview?” Uraraka paused, just as she was putting a big mop away. Ida also looked at you with a slight tilt to his head.

“Ah, you guys were dealing with the clean-up, huh. Forgot you ran a little late. Well, you see-“ you walked towards the door, then turned to face them once again. “Once everything was done and over, Kirishima-kun and the other three somehow managed to convince Aizawa-san to let them work here! They said they’d all been looking for some part-time jobs anyway! Not sure why he insists on interviewing them but hey, I wouldn’t really mind graduating from taking out the trash!!”

With a small hop to your step, you turned the sign on the door, the word “Open!” now inviting all passer-by inside

***

“Katsuki-kun!” you called out from beside him.

His steps momentarily came to a halt, his eyes widening just enough for you to notice, only for him to shake away the surprised expression as quickly as it had crossed his features. You let out a laugh.

“I love the funny face you make when I call you that!” This time, he made a small growl.

“Well, excuse me, but it’s not my fault, now is it?” Not that his complaints were going to put an end to your constant giggles though. After a few seconds of silence on his part, just enough for the funny scene to pass, you hummed quietly.

“I still think we should’ve saved this for when I finally manage to land a hit on you during training.” Katsuki, however, only scoffed.

“Yeah, so never?”

Your small fist hit his shoulder, though he gave no sign of having even felt it. You looked around the mostly empty street, yet your eyes wandered back to him. Hands intertwining behind your back, you tilted your head in pretend curiosity, failing to hide the smile from the joke you hadn’t even made yet.

“Say, you’re not gonna try and eat me too, are you?”

With a single roll of his eyes, Katsuki replied simply.

“I’m not a cannibal.”

You paused mid-step. He noticed your hesitation and stopped too, raising a brow when he looked back. He didn’t necessarily say anything, but you had come to appreciate just how many words his face was able to convey. You didn’t need him to ask you to know he had a question.

“I guess I’m not really human anymore, huh. It’s been a few days, but the thought still feels as foreign as ever.” At the sound of Katsuki’s approaching footsteps, your eyes flicked to him.

“The hell are ya talking about?” He stopped before you, leaning his head towards yours. “With all you went through, you might just be more human than anyone else.”

The blood rose to your cheeks and you let out a laugh to hide your embarrassment.

“Wow, never knew you could be so cheesy, Katsuki-kun,” you smirked. If he was getting to embarrass you, you could easily do the same. Nonetheless, you smiled at him, putting your hands on his shoulders, and leaning in closer. “But thank you – it means a lot to me, you know?”

You pecked him on the cheek and pulled away, skipping ahead with a big smile. He didn’t like it when you saw him blushing or making a weird face, so you could at least give him the space he needs to shake it off. In no time, he was walking by your side again.

Suddenly, his eyebrows scrunched in concern and his eyes focused somewhere up ahead, as he took hold of your hand to stop you from going on by yourself.

“Act natural,” he leaned in and whispered. You followed his gaze and your heartbeat quickened at the sight of the two men clad all in white and carrying those trusty briefcases of theirs.

Passing them by took only a couple of seconds, yet it felt like you hadn’t breathed in a single time all throughout. The two of you rounded a corner, Katsuki looking back to make sure the investigators were well on their way, while you finally took a deep breath to recover.

“Gosh, my heart’s thumping,” you laughed, though the relief written across your face was clear to Katsuki.

“Well, better get used to it – this is going to be your life from now on.” He patted your back a few times.

He was right, huh?

Your path had seemingly been decided so long ago, from the moment that experiment had succeeded. A path of misery, of suffering, of tears shed alone, and of a life doomed from the start.

Yet, with the help of those you’d always thought to be your enemies, you had created a new path. One that was still rocky, rough, filled with thorns. But it was a path you had chosen by yourself. It was a path you weren’t meant to walk alone.

You turned to face Katsuki, two pairs of eyes looking straight at each other. The smile on your lips grew even larger, as you reached out for his hands with your own.

“Get used to it, you say? Hm!” By this point, you were practically grinning already. “I think I’ll manage. But you have to promise me! That you’ll stay by my side, just like I’m going to stay by yours.” Once again, you leaned in closer. “That we’ll help each through it, right?”

Katsuki shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips when he opened his eyes again.

“Sure, sure,” he breathed out.

That was more than enough.

The distance between you became smaller and smaller, until your lips finally met in the middle.

And in that moment, you realized. Both of you realized.

What an ironic situation you had been put in from the start of it all.

Yet in the end, it was an irony you both had learned to love.

~Fin~

***

Author’s Note: And so, it is… done? That’s kinda crazy.

A few quick notes before I start with all the sappy stuff. I know that this was an extremely short chapter, especially compared to last week’s beast, but I really wanted to show those two particular scenes and make it short and sweet, so I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Also, the chapter title! I intended for it to come off as a reference to Tokyo Ghoul:re but if you noticed, the :re is actually placed at the start. That’s because, while Kalopsia Project:re feels like a new start, re:Kalopsia Project gives me more “in response to Kalopsia Project” vibes. Not sure if that made any sense or came across nicely though.

And lastly, at first this was going to be it for sure. Done and Over. But after hearing what you guys have been saying, I’ve been considering writing a sequel to this story one day. It won’t be for a while and I’ll get into the reasons for that later, but the fact is, it will probably happen. I hope you’ll enjoy it too!

And now – thank you all so, so much. You might have noticed already that I don’t shy away from getting wordy in my notes, so please forgive me for that. I’m just infinitely grateful for all the support this story has received – this was my first proper attempt at something with a plot, and also at an AU. It was a fun experience for me and I hope you all enjoyed it too! Every single interaction makes me have this big stupid smile on my face and, while I was a little anxious about posting this story initially, you’ve made it all worth it. So thank you so much to everyone who read this story, who liked or reblogged it, and especially to anyone who stuck with it all this time. It truly means the world to me since I wouldn’t be doing this without you all♥ I hope you’re all staying safe during quarantine!

And finally, I feel a bit odd self-promoting like that but hey, if you enjoyed this story, and especially the character writing, and are looking for something else to binge during long days at home, I do have one more story! Granted, it’s Bakugo x OC, though I always say that you can easily pretend the OC is either you or your own character, and it is canon-compliant. However, it’s also a good 4 times longer than this story! It’s also my first ever story, so the writing in some of the beginning chapters won’t be up to par with what you’ve been seeing here! But if you feel like it, I’d really appreciate it if you gave it a chance! In fact, now that “Kalopsia Project” is over, I will be returning to plotting the fourth book of that story and hopefully go back to writing it soon enough! Here’s a link to it on Wattpad/Quotev/AO3– I hope you’ll enjoy it^^ Alright, enough blabbering on my part.

Once again, thank you all so much, I love you and I stay safe and have fun~ Hopefully I’ll see you again some time!

Bye~

(Also, I haven’t quite decided what I’m doing with this blog yet but I plan to type a probably somewhat long post once I figure it out! In the meantime, thank you all so much for the support! And hey, @afuckingunicornn @creativedogs @chims-kookies - it’s finally over huh?)

#bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bnha tokyo ghoul au

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go-diane-winchester · 6 years

Text

How incorrect tagging contributes to SPN ship wars

@radioabsurd left this very impassioned rant about the behavior of SPN fandom in the main tags. Let me point out that there are things here, that I would say are correct. There are things however, that I am not happy with. I am not certain about this person's sincerely. Let me put it that way. I edited bits that contained blasphemy because I don't want that nonsense in my post. I also added bold font to the bits that made me smirk. Other than that, everything is as it appears. My commentary is in italics and brackets. Thank to doll face for forwarding this to me.

Supernatural Fandom

If you hate the actual angel Jensen Ackles, don’t talk to me, like my shit or any of that.

[A polite suggestion for people to ignore her]

If you hate the actual angel Misha Collins, fuck off and don’t talk to me or like my shit.

[Disrespecting Misha warrant the use of profanity.]

If you hate on the actual angel Jared Padalecki, please block me or you will get blocked.

[A please is thrown in, so the politeness is back. Also, note the order in which these actors are mentioned. Any other person would mention Misha last. But no, Jared gets last place, like an afterthought.]

I’m so tired of this hate people give each other in the fandom with the ship wars and shit.

[Honey, I would like to point out that all the hate, especially the violent ones directed to the actors, comes solely from the destiel shippers. Everyone else retaliates.]

I FUCKING ship #destiel and #cockles, but in no way do I think J2 are not important to each other. They are the bestest of friends. In no way do I hate on Daneel, Vicki, or Gen(They are all actually queens).

[Well, at least you agree that the Js friendship is hated on by the Misha shippers. The wife hate is a landmine. Do people hate the wives because they ship the boys or because they genuinely found nothing to like in the wives? I don't really care much for an actor's relatives. But if the boys are happy, whatever rocks their boats. Besides, who they marry is not my business. Out of sight. Out of mind. If I like them, I would have no reason to go overboard and call them 'queens'. But that is just my opinion on the subject. Julia Roberts was never called a queen, despite her success. Just pointing that out. Do I think they deserve any hate? I don't know them well enough to answer that one. But if you put yourself out there, you are going to get the bad attention with the good. As long as the hate doesn't extend to death threats, I say freedom of speech. Just tag it appropriately.]

Even If I don’t ship #wincest I’m not going to FUCKING hate on somebody for their ship because guess what! I FUCKING ship #thorki and #t'cherik and wow I must be such a disgusting human being but these are freaking fictional characters and aren’t real! (Not talking about real people ships)

[This seems friendly enough until you get to the second mention of this topic.]

If you don’t agree with something please FUCKING get over it and block it or ignore it.

[You should see the replies I get, from hellers I call out of tagging incorrectly. They don't block or ignore.]

Jeez, and all the ships hate on the wives and the other people on the show, not just one ship. XXXX, why am I even in this fandom.

[I concur. There are haters of ships and people. But unless you go into their appropriate tags, you will never find them. Guess who tags all their hateful filth, including calling Jensen a homophobe, in the main tags? Yep, the destihellers.]

Also, if I get freaking hate on shipping #thorki (they’re not even real brothers okay, get over it) or #t'cherik (in the comics theyre not cousins thank you very much) and your in the supernatural fandom then your actually the problem.

[I don't know how to tell you this, but Sam and Dean are not real brothers either. They are fictional. So basically, in an offhanded manner, you have kind of insulted the people, you are telling others not to insult. Just thought I would point that out.]

haters get on my nerves 👌🏽

[You are absolutely right. I cant stand them either. Especially the ones who tell Jared to kill himself and threaten to kill Jensen. All destihellers. I don't deal with haters as much. Because I believe it is your prerogative to hate whoever you want. As long as you tag it properly. But I draw the line at death threats, because the hate has moved into malevolent territory. That is why I don't go onto the anti tags. Let them hate. But when possible felony becomes an issue, I speak up.]

(there might be spelling errors but that’s life so what eves)

[True! My typing is atrocious.]

My issue with this rant:

I appreciate the effort. Don't get me wrong. But there are issues presenting themselves here. This rant is addressed to the entire fandom. The problem is that is doesn't differentiate between the instigators and the retaliators. There is an assumption, within the rant, that everyone should like the same things in the same manner without personal opinion or prejudice. And to be honest, that kind of uniformity in human psychology, is unheard of in human societies. We are all different. We cannot be expected to enthusiastically love anyone or anything unless we have been given viable reason to. The other baffling thing on this post is the anti Vicki tag. Interestingly, there is no other post with this tag. As far as I can see, nobody hates Victoria. People are generally quite indifferent towards her.

So you are basically giving fandom and onlookers the impression that this woman gets hated when, in reality, she doesn't even force a blimp in the radar. The only time I saw her being discussed, was when I watched in bemused amazement , as J2 tinhats were comparing her to one of the Js wives and talking about how much more nicer she was and how they respected her more. So those particular J fans don't hate Victoria. Do Misha's fans hate her? If so, how are they tagging their hate. I haven't seen anything.

You post makes no mention of actor harassment, cast and crew harassment, threats of arson and vandalism and actual attacks on fans by other fans. There is a different between someone saying ''I cant stand Vicky'' and ''I am going to burn Vicky's home down, while she is still in it''. A similar arson threat was sent to Jensen by a Misha fan. Receipts for this, and other threats, are on my blog. To my logic, death threats are a more pressing issue than hate. All of the aforementioned are by destiel shipping and Misha stanning perpetrators. To people who are not aware of this reality, if they read this post, they will assume that everyone in the fandom is hateful. They won't know about the truth. So no, all the shippers do not have an equal hand in trouble making. There are some that are worse than others.

Finally, your tagging is contradictory and troublesome. Tumblr recognizes 30 tags only, but the most effective are the first five. For a post of this nature, you shouldn't have tagged Danneel twice. Danneel has fans from her other endeavors. like One Tree Hill, who are not SPN fans. They don't need to see this drama, which has nothing to do with them. So that tag is a general/main tag and you should stay out of it. The last two tags are for ships outside our fandom, and basically what you have done, by including those tags, is exposed outsiders to the dirty laundry that this fandom is known for. This is where SPN's faulty reputation comes from. ''Mentions'' is also a very widely used external tag. It has not an SPN related tag, neither is it related to this post. Tagging this post under that tag, also brings this fandom into disrepute. The tags on this post, does this fandom no favors.

The post is not a hate post, [you are reprimanding all and sundry over putrid behavior] and therefore does not belong in the anti tags. If you are trying to right the wrongs of this fandom, do it in the main ship tags, for the whole shipping section of fandom to see. You cant tell people how to feel about someone. And posting this particular rant in the anti tags, is essentially you telling those people not to hate whoever they genuinely cant stand. If you are talking about a ship, tag the ship. If you tag your post #anti Jensen, you are telling people, this post is about why I hate Jensen. That is the point of that tag. That is not exactly what your post is about, is it? Now I tag in the main tags, and not in the anti tags because I tackle any subject that is going to cause a death threat to reach Jensen. That is the policy behind my tagging system. Your tagging system doesn't seem to make sense. You cant tag Jensen and anti Jensen. These two tags contradict each other.

Don't tag the characters on a TV show, because that is not what your post is about. People who are non-shipping fans of Dean Winchester, don't want to be bombarded with this shipping-related rant. This is not courteous to them. Also, if you misspell a tag, the tag has consequently been rendered useless. So there is essentially no point in having that tag. Just replace or remove it. Its not that hard. Also, I don't think you know what a bibro is. There are non-shippers amongst them. So why are they a part of this ship-war rant? You can't tag SPN or Supernatural, because the entire fandom doesn't need to see this. The entire fandom are not shippers. You were not addressing the entire fandom, so leave them out of it. In fact, your title is incorrect too.

Judging by the crux of your post, the tags should have been:

Destiel, Wincest, Cockles, J2 Tinhats, Wincestiel

All the ship names are present. So anyone who is involved with these ships will read them and understand. If you want to add more tags [which I don't recommend] then add the following:

Sabriel, sastiel

I would tag these two ships because they are ships that three actors are a part of. I don't recommend tagging the actor's names, because the post is not about them, but about shipper behavior. They are merely mentioned as the motivation behind the hate, by your logic. Their names are still general tags, and people searching Jared Padalecki might hate shipping and this post will give credulity to their hatred because it is invasive and makes shippers looks bad....well, worse would be the apt word to use.

I am conflicted about the motive of the rant. No, I don't believe any of the actors are ''actual angels''. They are human and flawed, some more than others. I don't think their wives of sovereign control of anything. But I appreciate the effort in bridge-building. The doll face that sent me this, found the wincest remark offensive, but I am willing to give your the benefit of the doubt on that one, because I assume it was an honest mistake. I am not a wincest fan though, which I why I am reacting a little differently. Perhaps, because I am not emotionally invested.

P.S.: Speaking of wincest, someone told me that even wincest ship posts are being tagged with the actor's and character's names. I don't care what you ship, but by using general tags, you are not driving on your lane. Stop mistagging. Unless Jared Padalecki is really pregnant with someone's lovechild, don't tag him in an mpreg post. I don't think he wants people knowing about his baby bump. Tag politely. Tags like Top!Sam and Bottom!Cas are NOT general tags, so that is ok. But Sam Winchester and Jared Padalecki, for example, are general tags, so keep your shippy stuff away from it. Wincest fans, its your job to clean house.

The reason why I am lenient with the wincest ship and J2 tinhatters, is because they are not repeat and frequent offenders, and they don't send death threats to actors. In fact, if you search the wincest tag, you find a small handful of offenders, and a destiel offender who tagged her post weecest and wincest even though it was about destiel. Now, why do that?

Respect the tags. Respect the actors. Stop behaving like SPN owes you something, and keep your fantasy on your side of the fandom.

Please excuse the typos.

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donnnoir · 5 years

Text

Dallas, TX June 30, 2019

Well Friend’s, although currently I suspect there are no readers of my crude blog. Other than those that may have an interest from the Shadow Government’s perspective. They always keep tabs and monitor my actions and interactions at large or singular. An annoying fact of Life as me. So hopefully at some point and time in the future an interested party will have numerous pages to sort through. I am trying to get all my material under one or two roofs / forums which can and are accessible to everyone. At least that is my hope and the intention of all this. Granted it also allows me an outlet to vent some of my frustrations and the various events, occurrences and histories with this and more that I have Lived and experienced throughout my Life. Now in such a spirit I am posting a electronic log entries after I arrived back in Austin TX, following the events I experienced in Southern California. Which events culminated in my being shot twice in my left leg and subsequently ran over by an F-350 dually pick-up, running me over from toes to my head being dragged under the dual tires on the driver’s side of the vehicle. Needless to say it was an interesting evening. I was run over on East Anaheim St. about one hundred feet from the intersection with North Henry Ford Ave., on the south bound side of East Anaheim heading back toward Long Beach, I believe the location is still in Wilmington. With the location of my being shot some distance from there and that being approximately 325 North Lecouvreur Ave., Wilmington. These events happened on or around the 5th of March 2018. I was transported to St Mary’s Hospital at 1050 Linden Ave. Long Beach, CA..

The following are a series of electronic entries to an ad hoc journal at the time. I Post this ad hoc journal in its raw form, the only editing being for the most part that of correcting some of the major spelling mistakes. Hopefully I have retained the jagged nature of my mind set at the time. I freely admit that upon my return from California for the first time in my life I was showing signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I still have on occasions bouts associated to this PTSD. I trust as coming events unfold and I have New Obstacles and Challenges to focus my attention and thereby forestall the elements of the Disorder. Thus I Post this warts and all. Without regard to its chronological or content of order. Because of this I will no doubt be covering much of the data, information and stories at a later Posting. I will also be Posting the images of my hand written journal, as the loose leaf entries that I have adopted as my handwritten format. Since every log or journal I have started has been stolen repeatedly. So I now write on whatever loose leaf papers I have before me in the moment. I hope to Post those as packaged folders Postings in their chronological order. There is a degree of overlapping entries between this Posting and those of my handwritten entries. Bear that in mind should you actually elect to read all of these. Most of the entries some date and location headers. I hope that in doing this that no seeming contradictions arise, especially since I am the source. I welcome any inquires from any reader of my material. Thus I submit the following:

Welcome, seems it has come to this. I am going to attempt to compose my thoughts and histories via electronic medium. My reservations must give way to practical realities. Not to mention the fact that each and every one of my previous logs / journals has been stolen from me. A immensely annoying recurring theme.

Thus I am going to try and make a virtual journal. Presumably I will augment this with the additional paper journal. Which will then be uploaded into a file of images. The hope being the combination will effectively accomplish the task. Towit that of providing a record of my life including events in the extreme. Additionally I wish to leave behind in some convoluted fashion my diverse understanding of things. By far I would consider the latter to be a far greater contribution to the brain wealth of humanity. I would like to think that should any of this writing come to light. It does so some time in the future . When the more fantastic elements can be seen in historical context. Such that what would otherwise be seen as speculative ventures into science fiction writing, will be known as simply fact. Because believe me when I say I truly wish and hope to be / will be wrong, regarding that which is to come. For a change!

Sigh… I must take a break, now. Necessity requires I consider many issues, not the least of which is where to start, and how best to proceed. Besides the fact I have not developed the requisite manual dexterity to type with my thumbs.

Monday July 2, 2018 … Killeen Texas

Sigh… damnit all to hell! I am having one of those rare days when I feel anxious, overwhelmed to the point of feeling trapped. I do not know if it is possibly PTSD related. I suppose I have to accept that as a issue with in me from now till the day I die. Regrettable not to mention humiliating for me. Granted, I suspect that the the cannabis Jade bought had a little something extra in it. So she could anesthesias more effectively giving her a reprieve from the increased infra-sound, ultrasound, microwave along with the entirety of the electromagnetic emissions I am at present enduring. I am concerned for her and her son Joey's well being. Despite her being one of the girls / operatives / victims of our government’s illegal covert initiatives know as MK Ultra. She is a bundle of contradictory issues and personalities. Your typical Golem. Her biological father is Warren Causey. He was George Bush Sr. right hand even prior to Sr becoming head of the Central Intelligence Agency. Causey was Sr's go to man for wet works and deep black bag operations. Especially if the back side had a tail which could be exploited for control of any or all parties involved. Causey is a true satanist and worse. He recently developed a rapid onset of Alzheimer’s. Not quite as sever as my own father and name sake Donald Paul Williams. But the timing of both though separate is suggestively coincidentally to events associated to me and those involved in FOXing me. I suspect brother Magnus of being petty. Grinding and hammering on old grudges. Along with becomingly increasingly punitive in operational objectives concerning breaking me to the point of my “losing” it. At which point and time my only anticipated options would be to appeal to their overview and / or full capitulation to their agendas. Thus far I have successfully thwarted their attempts. Yet it has come at an immense cost to me, across the board. Okay in anticipation that I may never acquire the journal I started last year upon my departure from Long Beach, California. A long walk beginning by The Queen Mary and which ultimately landed me in Salt Lake City, Utah. It is becoming increasingly incumbent that I reiterate elements I previously wrote down back then. You would think it would be a simple straightforward process. Naturally such is not the case, for a variety of reasons. Not the least of which are context and my desire to avoid sounding narcissistic, or worse disillusion. Yet failing to do so will ultimately end in me portraying myself as such, even more so. Besides I really hate repeating myself, sorta a pet peeve of mine.

To the uninitiated this is going to sound ludicrous and insane. However, any comprehensive primer would require volumes of esoteric information, along with accompanying commentary and should include appropriate citations. All from tomes that are closely guarded. That I am denied access to permanently and utterly. Thus it is best to proceed directly into the matter wading through the initial convolution, realizing by degrees it will work out becoming about as clear as mudd. The luciferains according to their Canon refer to me as “The Dark One”. It is an appellation pulled directly from their actual scripture as initially iterated to Cain from lucifer, himself.

Obviously atheist may take exception to these concepts, especially the language used. There is not much I can say in response to their misgivings. Because their beliefs lack the framework from which to attach this model. Hell most individuals beliefs also in like fashion lack similar mental framework. Yet most have allowances or the tools where with the modular architecture of their minds are able to “build out” an additional wing to the mansion in their minds which houses their understanding of “reality”. At the very least they can entertain the blueprints to an “add-on” to their mansions. Similar to the operations of our minds “cognitive consistency”. Dr Richard Alan Miller is fond of noting “I would never have seen it if I hadn’t believed it”. Or by extended reference the belief that if you have enough information to postulate a coherent question, you already have enough to know the answer. You just have to convince yourself of it. The implications are profound. Stretching into metaphysics and the issues of faith preceding the miracle(s), and even magick! All topics I have and will continue to touch upon in my ramblings. But I go too far afield of my primary focus. Simply, I am The Dark One. This is both metaphoric and literal. For the few people whose sight allows them to to clearly see into the underlying spiritual realm of our world. Because all things that “are” where first created in spirit. Elsewise they would not exist or remain lifeless sterile elemental at best. There are also at worst case possibilities, but we will forego any such dialogue for the moment. Everything we see and interact with has a corresponding spiritual aspect providing impetus to the whole. Usually the spiritual aspect even resembles the physical expression, although at times the proportions differ. A fact that I know I will touch upon in other areas as topically necessitated. Nonetheless if one was to see our spirits they much resemble the physical form of our bodies, though a bit taller (note this is a foreshadowing hint, to a vastly different topic I Will Be Addressing. At times I may interject future foreshadowing hints, though sans the extensive explanations). Depending on the scope of vision applied a person may / can see many other things. For my current model I am going to stick to issues of direct correlation to what we perceive as the physical world.

Okay, yes I do know I tend to take a long round about, seemingly loquacious manner, almost tediously so in my explanations. This is due to the fact that words are nebulous, our ability to effectively communicate was fractured becoming compromised long ago. As a consequence, for clarity's sake I find this too wordy manner necessary to minimize confusion later in the discussion. By degrees we lose our way, or perpetuate our lost condition. Therefore it is by incremental degrees I am trying to more properly realign the various skewed beliefs we all hold. It is simple geometry, trigonometry or if you prefer vector math. If your initial bearing line is off by a few degrees, as you proceed further down its vector, or direction of travel where you end up will be considerably different than you meant to be. I wish to be aptly clear as to this fact early in my shared discourses.

Back to the proximate relationship of the spirit to our physical nature / condition. Also know that our spirits are gender specific. The entirety of humanity in this expressed Creation, the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve. Have migrated to this plane and place from Our Heavenly Home. That being a higher plane of existence, a organized realm of Love and Light. We, being all of us from Adam, Lilithe, and Eve till the last child of Eve is born, we are they that kept our first estate. Thereby earning both our right and place to be born here in this that by our common assent / consent / agreement we agreed would be real, thus we call it reality, simple. Wherefore, this being real by our mutual assent, means by extension that our actions here shall have real consequence to our station thereby effecting our progression. Those within Our Divine Family that rebelled and failing to reconcile back into the Family are denied participation in the progression of this estate and the subsequent assignments as to which paths we are to be assigned to in our individual journeys to progress back home. Meaning, i.e. lucifer and the one third that fell (more properly “that were cast down”) with him. At times I will refer to lucifer as lucy or louie a small affectation I have over the years grown fond of as pet names for he who would seek dominion through his lies. Know that for my part I have always viewed our existence as an ongoing extension of the war in Heaven. Even as a toddler this was simply the nature of the world, in both a literal and metaphoric sense. Lucy is playing an end game gambit. As to our day to day offenses he for the most part cares little, seldom choosing to involve himself. As I try to tell people; we can do bad all on our own, we don’t need the devil or louie's help. Matter of fact regrettably this particular Creation is an aberration. Most Creation’s do not have a Lucifer, who refuses to repent and reconcile, and worse yet becomes Satanish. In so doing thereby becomes completely nonredeemable. Fit only to be cast out beyond the dark realms / dimensions. So far that not even a god could ever hope to make it back to Our Heavenly Home. Heady fanciful stuff, with a touch of discordance due to conflicting superlatives, I already know. From the presumed position of our understanding as a whole it is the best I can do with our shared mythos. The presumed contradictions fade as our understanding increases. Please accept I know little, next to nothing. What little I may grasp, has been fought hard to obtain over a tumultuous lifetime.

One of the hopeful eventualities concerning our collective situation in this Creation which I try to communicate to those that appear to show potential for understanding the following idea. Is that, Once we “eventually” progress through this Creation. As our then on going progression continues through multiple future Creations we will in all probability never encounter another such circumstance / Creation wherein any of those will again be with the added burden of a Satan / Lucifer persona to add complications to our individual, group, and familial progress. Who would threaten to usurp Creation from G-d and all of us. We can do bad all on our own. We really don’t require an objective excuse or archetype on which to pin our failings. If you are acquainted with the Book of Revelations, in its pages are the clues to understanding Lucy’s actual focus / agenda for our Creation. For we are eternal beings, Children of Divine Parentage. We live through infinite eternities, progressing and striving to Perfect Ourselves unto the Image of Our Heavenly Mother and Father. Now I sound like a some traveling revivalist preacher. Might as roll out the tent and tambourines, hahaha.

Wednesday July 4, 2018 – Killeen, Texas

Well happy 4th of July, U S of fucking A. Not to be cynical, but here we are celebrating another Independence Day in the Land of the Free. The irony is inescapable. Sadly too many individuals become distracted and lost in the perpetually shifting landscape of dysinformation. Yes the horrors these people revile against are very real and indefensible. Except in the losing of perspective, failing to see that these innumerable struggles are purposely being generated to engage the population to distraction. Usually these horrid distractions are set cross ways of social and cultural lines. This formulaic tactic is meant to ferment hostilities, hate and conflicts across the associated strata. This has been repeated throughout history to create wars, fracture our social structure, warp our values, and indoctrinate the population en mass with beliefs such as to reshape our view of reality shackling all of us to a diminished image and sense of self along with the entire human race. Once we accept this warped view as the archetypal potentiality of us all. We are guaranteed to sell ourselves and our brethren into slavery. In due course I will be discussing at length the geopolitical history within the framework of our limited knowledge of what we recorded since the flood. Rather what we have been permitted to know of said records. The fact that much as been redacted from the common brain trust passed on to us via academia. Those alabaster halls occupied by self appointed guardians of the approved versions of knowledge and information released to us vulgar unfortunate masses. So burdened, I shall pass this Holiday celebrating the antithesis of its traditions.

Continuing in the same vain as previously began prior to the day’s celebrations, in much the similarly convoluted fashion as before… I, The Dark One of Occultic Lore. I have been told; that I have done things no one in the history of the world has ever done previously. Personally I can only cite one quality as being demonstrative of such high praise. Though in all honesty I am more often than not being chastised for lacking focus, being lazy, acting the fool in the face of my enemies, or being cavalier in my affections, or placing myself at undue risk of life and limb, and the list goes on and on ad nauseaium. This from the select few who know and understand who and what I am. Those who may actually care about me, and would see me fulfill that which I have been foreordained to do whilst sojourning here. The totality of our circumstance here, now at this moment, we soon shall enter perhaps the most critical and precarious point of our history and that of this Creation. I am all too well aware of this along with that which shall soon come to pass shortly. This awareness, I experience across multiple vectors while being cognizant of a sea of permeations which ultimately stream toward a specific Crux in Our Familial Aggregation (I am trying to develop appropriate nomenclature – wherein I avoid certain more readily common labels or descriptors and/or appellations. Whose usage has been subverted into the double speak practiced by the various satanic and blood occultic families which run the world. Who have ritually (via trauma) conditioned and indoctrinated their acolytes, golems / victims to hear and respond to accordingly, never in a positive manner. Wherefore it is incumbent upon me whenever possible to avoid affirming these, even to the point of reinventing the ascribed nomenclature.) within this Creation. As a consequence I must stumble through idiomatic constructs, ungainly though they be. Believe me if you knew and understood the actualities ascribed to words and the double or multiple meanings applied to them within the Families. The evils, the pain, the denigration of the individuals / victims usually by those nearest them; ultimately by extension it eventually infects and corrupts societies unto the world at large. You would weep an endless river of tears unto filling the seas, if you could see this in your minds eye properly. As long as this perniciously malicious spiritual / familial / multi-generational / social / cultural pathogenic practice continues, our struggles will end in naught. Hence into this morass I must seek to keep my appointed task. How best to explain this? I have spent the majority of my life in the haze of denial. Avoiding my differences. Putting off my preparations for that which is to come.

Since approximately twenty four plus months prior to Operation Jade Helm our covert Intelligence apparati, including elements of the ruling shadow government began a concerted effort at Foxing me. The on set of Operation Jade Helm and its scope marked an exponential increase in expanded efforts against me. Now, let me make clear Operation Jade Helm’s purpose was not solely to target me, there where many targets across the greater portion of the United States of America. Death dealers and various squads of assassins executed / murdered an increasing number of American Citizens, most had been identified for some time to be exterminated. Impunity seems to have become the operational by word. The extremes demonstrated continuously since that time defy all reason. Defining the architects of this action as being criminals is almost quaint. This level of criminal insanity goes beyond the point of being treasonous. With the majority of resource allocation comes from “military Intelligence” which then utilizes other military resources and supplies. Thus it is that we have been duped into financing our own demise.

For purposes pursuant to their agendas, they have labeled me a domestic terrorist. Thereby presumably justifying illegal exercises and persecution of my person. Rationalizing by extension similar acts against my family and anyone I may care about and or Love. Death for them would be preferable to the horrors their personages have been and are being subjected. I know I sound ludicrously paranoid with delusions of grandeur in the extreme. Hahaha…. gosh how I wish, hope and pray such were the case. I make this record in defense of myself and my actions. Naturally I fear all my good intentions with their accompanying actions are for naught. I realize that upon my death as allotted to the sons of man, as to the first part, my character will be maligned in the worst manner possible. A issue I will address at length later in this on going exposition of myself and my misadventures as they may be.

Thursday July 5, 2018. Killeen Texas

Despite my misgivings it seems I survived all the pops and bangs of our nosiest of American Holidays. A joyous circumstance to be certain. From now till my last day of my allotted life as unto the children of men, my life hangs in the balance. The ante to live my life as it were.

My current accommodation over the past almost six weeks has been with an old flame and friend Jade Causey – Chamlee, and her 18 year old son Joey, whose given name was Freddie. Bless their souls for extending to my worn out arse a place to stay and recover. Regrettably my physical recovery is taking much longer than I anticipated. I am fully aware my expectations regarding the time necessary for a complete recovery was / were unreasonable. But I need to set the bar high to keep from being complacent. Now had my situation been inclusive of adequate financial resources I would be at least relatively close to my timetable. I would have had access to better medical, dietary, living and therapies. Hell my injuries would have been properly tended to at the hospital in my initial admittance. Instead I continued to be the object of curiosity and experimentation. With little consideration to trying to give me appropriate medical care. I have come to know what to expect, due largely to my younger brother's general attitude. Wherein he rationalizing what him and others do to me, as simply a matter of effect associated to the who and what I am. It is rationalized that if I, Donn am this special chosen person than he/I should be able to survive everything, whatever it may be. Because if he/I don’t than obviously he/I am not that special and thus not protected from on High. Horrific logic used to rationalizing a growing list of atrocities committed against my person. A ugly fact of my reality, one I anticipated. What issues make this whole fucked up process unacceptable, malicious, acutely painful and unforgivingly egress is the manner by which they have targeted and used others. Especially my younger brother, father, son, Tiffany, Revaka, Heather, Angie and numerous others. They have been tortured, abused and treated as disposable commodities. All are scared and precious, some are very unique with abilities reaching into arenas not generally accepted or understood in today’s world view. Yet these individuals are denigrated, abused in some of the most deviantly sordid manners. Most are ultimately destroyed, first robbing them of their minds, bodies and in some final insult of their very souls. As it appears that they are being harvested for physical vehicles to have demons placed in their bodies. Yeah, I suppose I could say it in some sort of more politically correct parlance as “aliens” from a lower resonating dimensional reality / realm. Somehow I find that by doing so it fails to communicate the malicious evil inherent in the process. I find the old nomenclature to communicate the Truer meaning. Though some eras of our past carry their own obvious failings magnified exponentially by ignorance while fueled by misguided zealotry. They were not called the Dark Ages for nothing. Similarly different cultures, societies, periods, places and times have fallen to various abysses of Darkness. We have this false mental image of life on Our Earth proceeding in some linar fashion from primitive man (including Adam, for those of a theological inclination) struggling out of caves. Fighting against their own primitive brain / mind which was trapped in a diminished brain pan capacity from questing for fire against ignorance and superstitions. With us being the cumulative beneficiaries of this on going process. Peoples of those ancient times could not have been as intelligent as those today. Therefore they could not have grasped the concepts we do. Some of the most ridiculous fallacies of logic ever presumed to rationalizing and justify conduct or beliefs. Matter of fact the inverse is actually True. But what the fuck could I possibly know!

Sadly my frustrations are rearing their collective heads as it were in my writing. I wish I had been more diligent in securing my journal I started last year upon my departure from Long Beach towards Utah. I was more focused recording relavent issues in a contemporaneous fashion. Not to mention a considerable investment in explanations dealing with a variety of associated topics. Grrrrr… all I did then was walk and write. I may soon be in a recurrence of such, shortly. I can no longer abide where I am. All the more so under these conditions. Deep in my mind I am aware of happenings which require my attention. Not to mention my friend’s household is not psychologically conducive to my state of being. At least not in a healthy way, good intentions not with standing. My largest obstacle to my leaving believe it or not, is my need for acceptable footwear. Flip-flops aren’t going to cut it. Hell they are wholly inadequate to even walk just up the street a block or two. I must admit the sidewalks and streets of California were well suited for walking.

Monday July 9, 2018. – Killeen, Texas

As Pooh would be apt to say, “Oh bother”. I feel for the most part Tigger. Bouncing all about spinning, twisting, flipping… as well on my head as my tail. I am most acutely wanting to find my focus once again. My communication skills seem heavily compromised. Not that I was ever able to write as effectively as the great Nobel Laureates. Generally speaking I could at least maintain some linear cohesion in my writing. Physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally I am shaken. Much as if my being was trapped in the tremors of advance Parkinson’s. In similar fashion my expressed thoughts and experiences lack focus, my abilities at lucidly articulating my larger life occurrences is choppy at best. Failure is NOT an option! No matter how I feel or how events are or may effect me, I must regain my composure and find my center. While reacquiring my skills of teaching and sharing what I have learned. Please excuse me if I don’t edit the foregoing entries. As convoluted and murky as they may be, their relevance contemporaneously can not be diminished. Hopefully they will in due course provide a benchmark to juxtaposition future writings and notes thereby effecting a glimpse into my state of being at the time of writing. Grrrrr…….

They have done a very good job of isolating me. All the more so, as I try to come to terms with the potential cost to those I would seek commerce with across all levels of our socioeconomic strata. If what I endured while being the object of a Foxing protocol by our shadow government’s covert intelligence community are any indication. Anyone who associates with me, either at mine or their initiation is subject to become targeted for retribution as punishment to me. Too high a cost to blindly impart with out consideration to finding possible means of mitigation. Or at the very least terms whereby I am ultra selective with whom I interact. Along with the rationale for said interactions. Soon enough our social dependency will require I abandon all such pretext or attempts at shielding anyone from consequence. I fear that time shall be upon us/me far too soon. Perhaps I am again being exceedingly naive. My efforts are most probably for naught. An on the at large canvas of the bigger picture my presumption at damage control will only result in a larger area and impact of effect upon our society as a whole. Not that I am some savior or prophet, far from it actually. In the grander scale of things, I might best be referred to as a “wild card”. Meaning that in any analysis of the interaction of variables, one may with a degree of certainty predict the outcome of any issue, contest, conflict even war. However should certain individuals or a very small dynamic group of individuals enter the forum. Suddenly the landscape of the matter shifts radically to the point that the original outcome no longer applies or is meaningful. We have numerous examples of such occurrences throughout our histories. Of salient import to us here in America is The Battle of Thermopylae, and the 300 Spartans. We all learned about continents in school. Did you ever notice that Europe and Asia were counted as separate despite being one land mass. The reason is that Western Culture and Asian (Oriental) Cultures being vastly different it was traditionally ascribed to them being two separate continents. We may naively presume to ridicule such a blatant indulgence as arrogance. Yet there are fundamental reasons for this error being valid. We as the heirs of Western Culture, need to understand the mythical / legendary impact of these distinctions upon our mameic memory, especially those of us of the West. From Greece to Rome, then following our Angelo – Dutch (Iberian) roots it is transmitted to us. The importance and permanent impact of the actions and sacrifice of Leonidas and 300 Free Spartans against over a 1,000,000 servile basically slaves to a potentate deemed quasi divine, carved out a legacy of Freedom which stands even today. An Epic “wild card”. There are many others, most are lost to us today. With the occasional exception that survives in our Epics, our Mythologies, our Legends. Most such stories are the blending of factual events with older religious or semi religious traditions. Which aliteration was a common and accepted means of teaching the lessons of both convanents in a factual and metaphoric means. Much the way Jesus Christ taught using parables, allegories composed to have layers of meaning dependent upon the degree of understanding had by the student. So a natural continuation of this is to be inclusive of many historical events, along with the trans literal substitution of the individuals to those of prophecy or the the Divine or Angelic intercession of some ancient history. These depending on circumstance would be iterated and reiterated in verbal traditions to be celebrated in the retelling, usually in association to particular annual festivals. Such as the case with the Saga of the Norse Kings. A subject I hope to have the opportunity to entertain at length later in my writings, scribblings. The vast majority of my ideas, concepts, models and histories can generally be attributed to greater minds than mine. As has been said before, the reason I / we can see so far is that we stand on the shoulders of giants, those that have come before us. Yes I paraphrase taking a degree of liberty. More particularly to hopefully retain its original meaning.

Funny I have been much as I am, the entirety of my life. Before I commence an in-depth sharing of many of the somewhat unique occurrences and events that have brought me to this proposition in time. I wish to clarify and reiterate some postulates. Elsewise a portion of my own records and logs may well be used against me. Principally by interests who would wish to call my lucidity and grasp of reality into question, in the hopes of indicting or coloring my character via my words. No doubt they shall do so nonetheless. I only wish that my original is sufficiently vetted in the sane understanding of reality has to be a defense to my honor and mental facilities. Thus, again – I am No prophet! Nor am I an Alien. Hahaha… Nor am I some savior! As far as religion – I will say as was told to me by what would be termed alien contactees, or more specifically those that I felt and believed we’re genuine. Of the many I personally met back in the 1970s. According to these individuals as to the subject of religion and the Bible when broached to the various aliens these contactees interacted. All the aliens responded that yes the Bible was more or less correct and that it was wholly applicable to us, our Creation, and Our G-d. I know not at all what they say on the popular shows in the media today. Hmmm,…. As to my personal religious beliefs and inclinations, I am Mormon by conversation and have been excommunicated for many more years than I care to mention. By the way my excommunication was due wholly to personal moral matters not issues of doctrine or beliefs of Faith. So if somewhere in my upfront acknowledgements, you find me wanting of naïve. Fine, do or do Not as is in you, or as is your want. I make no apologies, nor seek to compromise in some misguided attempt to achieve an accord or consensus. Rather quite to the contrary, I share, present, seeking dialogue broader than an account of the happenings surrounding my life. Simply because I am appalled by the amount of lies and disinformation being used to indoctrinate the populace. Add to this the lack of corrected and broader views from the dreadfully homogenous perspective droning from damn near every sector. The present modalities disgust me, breaking my heart such that I would to weep day and night for Our collective Family. Yet better spent are my efforts in defense of the Truth and an improved accounting of our histories and circumstances. In pursuit of same I find I must submit my private life and experiences to general scrutiny. The majority of which I have never shared with anyone prior to the last six to eight years. I have desired to live a rather conventional life, for the most part. Realizing that soon enough I will forever be denied the Joy of such.

To this end and the accompanying process I submit some of the earliest memories and events of my life and childhood. One of my earliest, if not the earliest is being in my crib prior to the age of two. My father was working for numerous government and governmental contractors at the time. Naturally I don’t recall those details. Our family had just moved to Southern California. We were living with my mother’s sister somewhere in East Los Angeles. Their home was the typical Spanish Colonial. Anyone familiar with the style and form of such. Know that hallways usually converge into a common room, you cross to the hallway leading to the room you have as your destination. In this pass through common room is where my crib was stationed. Probably the best location for it and me. So the various women could occupy my attention should I become fussy. An many times this common room was an area where the women would congregate as my recollection is. Well across this room was a pantry closet, with selves and full of the sundry items found in such for the time. In the coming and goings of my family and relatives there were numerous occasions that would find me unattended, alone in my crib. It was during one such interlude that the commencement of a reoccurring vision / dream began. I having been left alone to my own devices (parenting back in the day). When the door to the aforementioned pantry slowly opened wide. A beautiful female Golem, her physique had the appearance of red bricks. Yet the contours of her form were singularly female. Rather she had distinct curves with aquiline sculptured features. Most hauntingly she had these striking blue eyes. She never spoke a word, her eyes spoke volumes to my initially shocked mind. As the sounds of returning relatives approached, she gracefully returned from whence she came. On the first couple of occasions I witnessed this I raised a bit of a commotion. I was not yet verbal, and in all honesty I was a late talker. Well the relatives thought I might have seen a rat. So they dutifully opened the pantry to inspection. The pantry was then as it always was, with neither a rat or exquisite Lady Golem. This parade continued off and on for the majority of the our short time residing at my aunt’s house. Usually the Lady Golem had those blue blue eyes, though green and grey versions are among the visits. Each and every time she would come to the side of my crib, moving her head, or tilting (cocking) it just so. Always her eyes full of questions and disbelief. Her eyes seemed to express; You? You are the one sent? Hmmm… You don’t look like much! Look more like a little wet rodent, but who knows?. This was more or less the sentiment expressed in her eyes. Following my first encounters I became accustomed to her visits and would actually miss her on the rare occasions of absence. Needless to say from early childhood I saw the “world” differently than others around me. I also learned to accept this altered perception without fear, understanding its validity within the accepted context of what is “actual” or the “concrete” reality of our existence.

If you may recall back in the haze of school days. During various lectures the teacher's would sometimes use what is commonly referred to as an over head projector. Depending on what was being taught, it was also common practice to layer over lays. These would either complete the image or at times super impose other images as needed. Sometimes even as multiple layers of over laid transparencies. Some of you more contemporaneously educated individuals may never have seen such primitive presentations, having known only power point. For those so blessed what I describe next may be Greek to you. For the dinosaur amongst us most should have some recollection. This model is the closest I can use to illustrate how the world appeared to me growing up as a child. Usually I would see what could best be described as up to two transparencies overlapping the “real world” in general. I could even lift these overlays to get a clearer view of what was being presented before me. At times these would both be at in the foreground of “reality”, other times both would be in the background, while at other times it would be split one in front and one in back. Yet there were numerous other configurations, sometimes completely unrelated to the happenings around me (foreshadowing alert). Gradually this ocular affect of the world began to diminish till it no longer was within my field of vision. By the time I was around sixteen to seventeen years of age this effect was effectively gone. Since then I have experienced this only a handful of times. I usually take a different approach, I will address momentarily. One of the proximate results almost immediately of perceiving my world in this manner is that I usually know the scope and degree that anyone is lying. As an adult it is not quite as prominent as in my childhood. Though there have been exceptions. As a direct consequence my earliest life lesson was in due course the hypocrisy of the adults around me. Everyone would profess such devotion to “the necessity” or importance of always “speaking the Truth”. Yet I would be punished to no end for pointing out the hypocrisy of the fact the adults more often than not lied as suited them. I learned to keep such to myself. Something I still do to this day. I tend to filter or make allowances far too much now as an adult. Invariably leading to greater complications. Besides transparencies certain images or objects would “float” across my field of vision in similar transparency manner. Some of which I could not decipher any context or meaning at the time or since. To begin to place elements of this visual experience I need to explain tangent events of recent.

The advent of the Internet and the information highway is as with most such paradigms, both a blessing and a curse. Dependent largely upon the nature and supposed inclination of man. We are all no doubt familiar with the media platforms of Facebook and YouTube. Like everyone else to some degree I have had occasion to surf around doing research or simply for mindless pleasure. Back prior to Jade Helm, when my Old Lady (though she was substantially younger) Tiffany and I were keeping house in Austin, Texas. I noticed a YouTube video regarding the Apollo 20 mission. Oh by the way according to my histories the Apollo lunar missions went up to 20. I wanted to see what was been discussed along with what twists and turns the disinformation specialist spin their distractions. Which if you can determine it sometimes conclude what they are trying to hide or if their direction of spin is a “z” vector you can sight 180 degrees opposite to determine the landscape they don’t wish you to see. You may consider all this a large investment of mental energies, it is just how my mind works at times automatically. Back to the Apollo 20 video. In the video there was some general discussion of aliens, their nature and origins. During this open dialogue, there was a series of various old clips. I presume were some how removed from the archives of NASA. Many of the older non-defined clips I was quite familiar with the images. Not because I have ever seen them as photos, images, clips or video. At the time I was floored, since previous to that moment I was unacquainted with their context or related meaning. These objects I use to see in the exact same configuration and involved in the exact motions approximately forty years earlier as I was growing up. Matter of fact judging from the age of the imagery I would have to conclude I was witnessing them contemporaneously as a child. Without the context of outer space or NASA I had presumed I was watching some complex interactions of some sort of strange protozoal life from. I even remotely as concerned they had some how become infected to my cornea, so prevalent we’re the objects across my vision. So striking was their imposition upon my sight that more than four decades later their association was immediate and most assuredly certain. One less mystery to worry about. Yet the implications are troubling profoundly. Both of myself and the world at large, considering how maliciously the world's population has been lied to and manipulated. The ends of which are too shocking and horrible to ever discuss. Although in previous conversations at moments of weakness I have divulged a greater portion than may have been prudent.

Wednesday July 11, 2018. – Killeen, Texas

You may right so wish to ascribe or diagnosis me as having a form of delusions inclusive of all types of hysteria, grandeur, psychosis with severe religious obsessions. For what passes for psychiatry today within the public ledger domain, you may be correct. I would offer in defense a extensive lifetime containing a ongoing accounts of a similar or even greater note. Although I am not a Moses, peoples of another time would recognize me as being touched by The All Mighty, as it were. I will at least own any such appellation. Am I some righteous man deserving of beautification unto sainthood, I would argue Not. At best I have tried to be a descent man, who speaks the Truth as much as possible. I am burdened by an additional commitment.

Back in my youth, being around nine years old. I had a singularly profound series of visions / dreams. I repeatedly dreamt my death, accompanied by the various permeations associated to reaching same. The process took several days (nights) between three to five. Being so young I didn’t think to take particular note of the days my dreams were thus occupied. They obviously had a unique feel with a equally sensational intensity, they still abide with me today. I distinctly recall a voice of sorts coming to me following the last night of witnessing this panorama of my life's end (as are the days accorded to the sons of man). Now this voice which came unto me, I presume it was within the precincts of my mind. Not that it would have mattered greatly since I was alone when it came unto me. Nor did I think to ask from whence or whom spoke. I knew and could feel the light of our Divine Home as I heard the intent along with the presumed words. It was a simple dialogue, stating; “this is how it ends, this is what you have come to do. You need not do it. You have the right to choose. However if you are to complete this task. You must choose to do so now.”. Being a precocious and arrogant child, I immediately presumed that if I had been sent to do such, than the obvious was that I was the best candidate to accomplish the prescribed task. Armed with such infallible logic, I whole heartedly accepted my calling understanding it would come at great cost. Now granted, an understanding of the true scope or magnitude or the enormity of the cost or suffering I fully lacked. I have spent my life preparing. I have come to know that even at the prescribed time I will lack of my own what is necessary. I shall present to the task my all, trusting in Our G-d to shore me up to complete that which I would do. Subsequent to acceptance of this appointment I am to keep in the near future, my sight / vision increased. The frequency and quantity began increasing dreams, visions, revelations, transparencies along with my general perceptions increased. I now openly own the fact that I see the world through the eyes of the mystic. Only recently was my sight dampened. A heart breaking topic the occasion of which surrounds losing my Love Tiffany. The subject of which shall also be laid upon the alter for examination by the modern day augers. Find what fault if you will, I care little. Only know that matter and its accompanying are for later. I must at present attempt to continue in this established vain of thought recounting events long past in my short life. Besides the notations contemporaneous to me and my circumstances or any of the other tripe I have need to spew forth. Believe this, if I could accomplish my foreordained task without sharing, discussing or placing ultimately for public review any of this – such would be my desire. Painfully I have had to come to terms with the ugly reality I must prostrate myself to assure I am able to do what needs be done. Onward thru the fog, as it were.

Without going into specifics too much, early on I displayed another aptitude. Sometime around first to second grade. My Dear sweet mother recognized I somehow had a hand in the going ons of the other children that back then composed the group of children who had commenced to being around. Now my mother was blessed with a keen intellect. Which included the wisdom to not over think somethings. Instead wherever possible if there was a direct and simple solution to apply one's efforts to the solution. Thereby allowing life to continue on as meant. Almost elegant in its simplicity, usually quite effective in solving any problem, a quaint provincial version of Occum's Razor. Consequently the solution was simple, as she noted; “son, I don’t know what you are doing. But it is wrong. Apparently you need my help understanding that.”. There after I regularly got my hide tanned. Until sometime around the age of seven plus the realization that just because you could do something; does not mean you should. And that everyone is entitled to make their own choices. Afterwards the occasion necessitating my tanning ceased as a consequence to those particular actions. By no means did I fail to earn other occasions of corporal punishment as befits a young boy trying to find his wings, so to speak.

Growing up making my way through our education system of public schooling. I never cracked a book. Now one should not presume schools and childhood were smooth sailing. Quite to the contrary, in second grade my school in southern California labeled me “retarded”. Lacking a separate facilities or classes you were simply shoved to the back of the class with similarly challenged children. Nor did they have to test the child or give notice to the parents. Following a few weeks at the back of the class I began to demonstrate “odd” behavior. Which my always observant mother was quick to question. She went to the school and raised holy hell. In actuality it was more of a racially motivated issue. My parents being divorced, the school only saw my Hispanic mother. Being profoundly dyslexic, their initial assessment was that I was a Mexican, and you know you can not teach their kind. I was going to a all white school at time. Not to mention kindergarten in Watts. During the riots in 1965. I had to have police escorts to school. While I still have very distinct memories of the entire family sleeping in the living room with all the doors and windows blocked and barricaded against the rioting blacks. A sort of difficult time growing up. Believe me I know what racism is like. I am not going to hold my tin cup up on that lame ass subject. The fact that there are those in this country that hold onto this issues as the reasons for all their troubles. Or that there are groups and individuals who exploit this history for their enrichment. All this does is allows an ever expanding rifts in our society. The age old axiom of divide and conquer. Yet we all seem oblivious to this, instead we rush to our own deaths.

Thursday July 12, 2018,. – Killeen, Texas

Aaagh, fuck, damnit…. I fucking swear. Why do I even try to help anyone. Generally they hold to their own practices of appeasing the least common denominators by which they live. What can I say. As gracious as my hostess and her son may be. I doubt if I can tolerate much more of their dysfunctionality sans any self realization or objectivity. And they wonder about Joey meeting someone (female). I can’t imagine the woman who would find any of this manner or lack of is appealing. I try to maintain perspective because I do recognize the roots of most of the antisocial behavior. Even if it expresses its self differently than one may anticipate. I just don’t have the tolerance I usually do. In my current condition of convalescing from my injuries, makes me subject to the vagaries that define the lives of normal people. Due to the obvious singular quality of my life I have had to come to terms with the fact that I do not process anything in like manner as my peers. An before everyone thinks I am trying to sound all superior or some such, please note that I am continually making stupid mistakes principally due to my own naivety. We all have this aspect wherein we judge our circumstance and that of others from the pigeonhole perspective. Everyone else's view though differing from each other falls within a given area, or a few degrees of each other. Mine falls a extreme distance outside of what could be considered the norm. Nonetheless being very human I continue in the belief I perceive “reality” much as the other person from a similar understanding and values system. Invariably this attitude finds opportunity to smack me in my face by its differences. Each and every time I am recalled that, oh I knew better because I am fully aware of the differences and should have factored accordingly. Even now at this more venerable point in my life I find one of my biggest failings is naive belief in the character of my fellow man. Yet if my assertions as to my last day as are allotted to the sons of man be True. For the greater part I will be doing so for the entirety of Our Familial Aggregation. Even for those who seek only to cause me and those I Love and care about, harm or maliciousness. Because that is the way of things in our Creation. Soon enough the vile evil shall reveal itself, the kid gloves shall come off and life will never be this peaceful again. If it be the will of he who sent me I will seek to balance many scales of injustice. Till then I must endure and prepare as best I can.

Well enough complaining about friends who do their best given the circumstances. I appreciate all they have done on my behalf. Especially since to a large degree they grasp what potentially may be the cost. Even if in some small ways they may have been influenced by the same malicious or “Bees”, that seek to be the cause of my failure. For such is the nature of things in the abyss. Especially considering the length of time I have elected to spend wrapped in the confines of twisting throughout what we commonly refer to as “reality”. I generally feel more comfortable surrounded by its miasma and ickor than anywhere else. As much as it may appear to be a contradiction it ultimately is fact. Sigh!!!

For the time being I guess I will change the temporal focus of my entries. I can seldom stay focused on any particular time frame for an extended period. Doing so usually causes me to shift to the associated memories which become very visceral in nature. Soon it begins to become a tad overwhelming. All the more so once framed in relation to the present context. I sincerely hope that suffices and is remotely coherent. I am usually deconstructing my conceptual models and ideas into a form more acceptable to being understood. Sometimes I become lost in the process to the point I know what I mean despite the fact that the words and or syntax are nonsense. In conversation I sometimes have to stop and ask if what I have postulated or presented in the dialogue makes sense. I know it all made sense and sounded good in my head. Aaah but I can’t always presume to have effectively communicated the same.

Saturday July 14, 2018. – Killeen, Texas

Well here it is the weekend, somewhere in Who-ville are working stiffs cheering at the arrival of the ritual with its time off. It has been interminably long since I have have lived a life so constrained as to include the simple Joy of a defined weekend of days off. Hell I am usually engrossed in my vocation daily. With my ever prevalent purpose always driving me. For the most part I have become unfit to be amongst civil company. Yes I am conversant. I am genial enough when in mixed groups. I tend to empathic of those around me. I genuinely give a damn as to the well being of others. Even so, the inescapable Truth is that the darkness is too imbued into my being. Because of the darkness of my spirit, I have become rolled into the ubiquitous abyss of our “reality”. Though it does not effect me quite the same as others its taint has woven into my fibers. Not being much of a liar I lack the necessary tools to hide it from general view.

Wednesday July 18, 2018 - Killeen, Texas

Well damn, I sometimes really get fucking frustrated. At one level I am perpetually detached from the day to day focus and obsessions of everyone around me. I can’t bring my mind to focus on the general ideological concepts propagated by the geopolitical theater. Which resembles an episode of the moppet show as far as I what it appears. Are the offenses and injuries less or non-existent to my sympathies or moral indignation; not in the least. They still represent injustices and crimes which need to be effectively dealt with and hopefully the scales will balance. Even so, I just can not seem to get all worked up over these slight daily travesties. All the more so since I tend to view all these for what they are within the larger perspectives and plans of globalist / occultic families. Typical divide and conquer, or simple distractions from their primary objectives. I can appreciate everyone’s sentiments and attitudes that the scenarios of what is to come are not perceived as real or likely. Hell even I given enough distance and time begin to feel as though none of it is possibly factual. Except for the fact that I have lived a life associated to these eventualities. Even when I was in the thick of things all those involved would tell me bold faced lies as to what was occurring. As if to make me question the obvious, because the obvious Truth of the matter was outside any social norms. I guess there are those for a convenient lie is preferred to Truth too extreme to accept. I have been at this life, spending the majority of my existence living in the abyss. Which is everywhere, it co-exists with whatever social or cultural conventions occupying our realities of the moment. It is ubiquitous yet invisible to all but those who have had the misfortune to have grown up in its mists, or the uninitiated. Due to my unique occular abilities I am sort of self initiated. It took me a little while to come to understand the meaning of this subset of our world. I have always seemed to rub against this sub culture, even as a child. A odd fact which has taken me many years to come to terms with it. Even then it was a process of educating myself to be able to grasp the entirety of the concepts. Though outrageous beyond belief, it is nonetheless part of a larger pool of knowledge I have fought long and hard to achieve. We are a phenomenal expression of life, even across the multiverse. For all our uniqueness, we are seemingly determined to trivialize who and what we are. More importantly the processes and manner whereby we are to accomplish our purpose “here”. Truly phenomenal!!!

Yet I digress. I am simply getting on my soapbox, whipping the horse, so to speak. Grrrrr…

How best to convey some of the basics back into the discussions and open forums in our sea of opinions. A perplexing problem one that has vexed my soul for almost three decades. I suppose the real source of my reservations has principally revolved around my own reluctance to be centrist to any reintroduction in a general dialogue. Much to my consternation it is plain that to accomplish this and thereby facilitate me being able to keep my appointment in the future, I must find the where with all and means to personally become directly a part of our social dialogues. I can freely admit to my own megalomania. I try not to buy into it myself. I shan’t feed such feelings or Mali-adpted inclinations. What ever a person's tendencies, we fail our own interests in doing so. To the point of it becoming a all consuming psychosis. Our histories are replete with the villains who are consumed by base desires at the cost of all else. Not that such is my fear. Rather I prefer to do what I can from a position far from the limelight. We don’t always get to choose how best to accomplish our goals. My non-object oriented way of thinking I suppose. Aaagh, this is an area I would deeply desire some assistance. Not to mention the realities of presently being impoverished. I had best get used to my condition, I fear I shan’t know any other for some time to come. I guess I need to find the way and means to broadcast my ugly mug on to the internet. I guess I will start some YouTube type of series. I need to really get my act together!

Amazingly as we and our solar-system has traversed the apogee of its elliptical orbit with its sister star. This having occurred back in December 2012. We are now accelerating towards our sister star on the side closest to our Galactic Center. We will soon be re-entering the flows of Magick. They are part of the natural order of things. Think of it as a higher order of physics. We conveniently suppose a posture of superiority over some earlier more organic beliefs or systems of interactions within our realities. Although witchcraft, paganism, shamanism, and various other practices have been collectively maligned for associated practices related to satanistic practices (which Are very evil). In many such cases we have throughen the baby out with the bathwater. I am not trying to condemn nor make excuses, only to ask for a broader open review of these strangely different beliefs and practices. Many times they are simply corrupted versions of our Judaeo-christian thought, beliefs and practices. Sometimes I even find missing pages of our religious histories amongst these. An to borrow a quote; “We are too hasty when we set down our ancestors in the gross for fools for the monstrous inconsistencies (as they seem to us) involved in their creed of witchcraft.” - C. Lamb.

Friday July 19, 2018. – Killeen, Texas

Now as to my disjointed quaint manner of writing, I am recalled of yet another quote from Webster’s, “Prolix, Diffuse. A prolix writer delights in circumlocution, extended detail, and trifling particulars. A diffuse writer is fond of amplifying, and abounds in epithets, figures, illustrations. Diffuseness often arises from an exuberance of imagination; prolixity is generally connected with a want of it.” [1913 Webster]. As to which, my confused manner may be likened, I leave such determination to those who due to some pathological compulsions decide to continue on through the disjointed tediousness of my log. Excuse my quoting, it but appears the best and most eloquent descriptive means external to my own critiques. Wherein Webster provides what I believe is a more accurate description of my loquacious manner and style of communication. Bleck, ugh…

On to more relevant matters. As I continue to play my game of catching up to the current state of affairs in my existence. Jumping back to around August last year, at the time I elected to take my leave of the Long Beach / Wilmington area of the LA Basin. The majority of occurrences I previously wrote down in a contemporaneous log as I walked out of LA ultimately reaching Salt Lake City, Utah. With a brief momentary stay in Las Vegas, Nevada. My mind aches at the memories from that time. Regardless, there may in the retelling be wisdom or beneficial information for myself or others. Sorry if some of this has a choppy feel to it. There are mountains of unresolved emotional context and histories, which continue to elicit extremes within me. I hate sounding apologetic from the get go. Not that any of the vacillating diminishes the importance of the material or what I endured.

In July of last year, my younger brother was arrested and placed in presumably Twin Towers downtown Los Angeles. It was involving drugs and a handgun. I saw him and the P.O.S. , earlier that night. I already knew there were going to be problems. Additionally I had been indirectly informed my situation was about to become difficult. No more niceness regarding my treatment, operational dictums were changed. Initially I was was acutely aware my younger brother was not in police custody. I figured he was being held some where on or around the federal facilities of Terminal Island in the Port of Long Beach. Later parts of my sight of his circumstances were confirmed to me, though the exact location never has been (foreshadowing). Sometime during the second week of his presumed incarceration. He digitally appeared in the system with the appropriate arrest date, and information. To this day I am not convinced of the terms and conditions accompanying this purely “staged” event. No doubt there were days he was in the Twin Towers facility. Anything else is highly suspect at best if not solely manipulated data for the purposes of the Op. Nonetheless, I was sorely put upon. Due to the determinate fact that whatever had previously as well as on going to date are the proximate results of his being “my brother”. I was aware my brother was not my brother. I later would describe the fact as, “my brother was murdered on the mesas of New Mexico 4 (5) years prior”. I freely declared the fact, even with my younger brother present. At the time of his arrest I had invested two years trying to awaken and heal his soul. During this ordeal, he was on goingly conditioned (subject to various satanic trauma assisted by ultra high technologies deployed by our Shadow Government for the purposes of mind control). I can not escape a degree of culpability. Many may seek succor in the belief that I was not responsible, nor the individual inflicting these horrors to my younger brother. I acknowledge the physical reality as being so. However the moral reality is that, We are our Brother's keeper. An for myself it has a immense literal quality. We are all part of Our Larger Familial Aggregation, what we do, say or do not effects all. While in my particular case, he is my younger brother – same Mother and Father. I have known what to expect from the future all my life. I have even attempted to convey this knowledge in abstract to my brothers. Granted I did Not know that in recent times the evil practitioners of these vile satanistic rites had made a huge technical breakthrough. It use to be, if an individual attained adulthood free of these practices or influences, then they would die free of its chains. Obviously a person could freely elect to cultivate any base desires or perverse inclinations. By “choice” being the operative mandate, those chained to the MPD / DID minds of victims of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) are forever robbed of any choice in the matter. Not even I can “set” them free or the chains forged in their infancy and childhoods. I can only unlock the gates and offer them the means to heal. The process is long and painful, requiring more years than anyone can live to hopefully heal. Sadly as each victim is considered chattel to the perspective heads of each “family”, who is in turn property of another. Hence there are functionally twelve Satanic Patriarchs seated at the heads of their “family”. Under Satanic Dogma they consider themselves “gods” of their worlds. According to their beliefs you exist as titled property, if not than you are of no consequence thereby you do Not exist. The worth of you and yours is less than the trash sent to the dump.

Sunday July 22, 2018 – Killeen, Texas

Continuing with similar point of fact as discussed, it may all sound or would be considered linear, a straightforward affair. Appearing almost orderly, locked in some strange perverse dance. When it is anything but. Take into consideration the matter of succession. You might be inclined to infer that being Patriarchal, it is a matter of patrialinacal father to son. The reality is far from such Familial Sensibilities. Simply put, upon the death of the head of any household. He, who inherits is the male gains control of his clan by right of arms, or force. Basically if you are not yet feared enough to demand your seat as the heir to the estate. The one who rules does so because he has murdered and killed all the opposition by blood rite according to Antediluvian Law. Meaning you not only kill your opposition, the action is inclusive of all males of immediate consanguinal association. The wholesale murder also removes any potential blood retribution by those who possess an immediate claim to do so. Secondly it demonstrates to clan members at large the vicious response dissent will meet. Terror then substitutes conditioned context within their trauma-based mindset vicariously confirming that male's natural right to head that Family’s Branch of the Larger Familial Group. If you can remotely rationale order from such chaotic slaughter. You more than likely were raised under such paradigms, or your values are perversely twisted and I recommend you seek professional help from any school of thought practicing a highly structured value system, preferably based on some well established benevolent religion. Notice I qualify said using the word benevolent. Cause if you use the most liberal definition to the concepts of religion you could quietly slip satanism or luciferinism in as established religions. The distinctions are sufficient as to invite debate. One I feel is much a waste of time for all parties. Generally I ascribe it principally to a matter of semantics shackled to vastly differing modalities of operations defining values. Our time can be better spent educating ourselves up and out of overly cerebral arguments designed to trap us in artificial concepts posing as reality. A overwrought process favored by Academia in defense of entrenched theories dressed in the ideology we refer to as the “Scientific Model”. Yes, I have great disdain for what passes for education and schools of higher learning. They have long since been co-oped into the problems they were meant to free us from being slaves. I will tuck that soapbox away now, thank you for your indulgence.

What is even more incredible is the fact that this insanity is governed by their own set laws and rules. They even have a court system with defined jurisprudence. Not any sort you or I could consider properly legal. Rather it is more a system to maintain the “status quo” based on traditions, precedence, along with a strange quasi religious tones from Antediluvian Laws. Even known lies are acceptable if left uncontested but those who have standing and recognized Familial context. Elsewise the stated lie will stand as fact, enforceable to the fullest extent to which the system can accommodate.

Now if you followed that loose explanation, allow me to attempt to give an overview of some of the semi-societal interactive relationship between myself and these psychopaths. Especially above the standing rank and file victims constituting the entirety of the Families. I have a singularly unique interactive connection to them, their Families, their politics, traditions, religious dogma, technologies of the Shadow Government, including possible contingencies for what is to come. It is a chaotic and confusing dynamic paradox. Perpetually in a state of change, in recent times there has been much difference of opinion concerning how to acknowledge or interact with me. Technically I am a nonentity, because I exist outside the direct consanguineous relationship, nor am I amenable to joining their point of view. I remain in opposition to them, their practices, beliefs to the extent of being fundamentally adversarial to “them”. It is worth noting I have been at this so long that everyone I know or deal with daily belongs to this subset of our society. Almost all my friends, associates, girlfriends or anyone else comes from some blood occultic families. Some even to what capacity they are able seek to support me in my efforts. I am alive today because some evil bastards simply decided not to do as they were instructed. Knowing full well the consequences for siding with me. Try to understand these individuals have lived corrupt malignant lives, they hate themselves but are forbidden to take their own lives. There is virtual nothing they can do to truly cause those over them to flip out or take offense. Yet they do recognize that my stumbling about is upsetting. Having run around everywhere doing what I do. I have always done so without a net, so to speak. It is a source of boarder line amazement, more particularly they think I am “bat-shit” crazy! Nonetheless I am still here. You may know people who collect body art, fashionably tattoos these days. I sometimes joke of my own collection of scars and injuries to my body. Thankfully I heal exceptionally well. Most of my scars heal to the point of being almost unnoticeable, if you did not know my histories. It is an exhausting hobby, painful too! A frequent refrain I hear while being admitted to the ER or ICU has been, “Mr Williams, you are very lucky to be alive”. “Yeah Doc I hear that allot. Do the best you can.”. It has become somewhat of a ongoing joke, amongst friends and family. These days those groups have become ultra thin. Another reason I make this record of events in my life including improved contemporaneous writings. We can all hope for such. Believe me if it was up to me, no one would know much if anything about me, or my life. I have been, or more correctly I have allowed myself to be forced into a dreadfully unpleasant set of circumstances, as I have whined concerning previously.

Okay Sherman set the way-back machine to the 80’s and 90’ of the last century. Seeing patterns across the country in the minds of crazy ass bitches, now I do Not mean that in a bad way. I have a immense affinity for beautiful crazy ladies. Now as I was saying, the imagery within their minds was too consistent to be coincidence. The language of our sub- conscience is imagery, archetypal, motifs, iconography, mythical, dreams, visions, will of the wisps and whimsy. I believe we all “see” much more of one another than we choose to accept. The largest hurdle to understanding is this compulsion to read or understand what we “see” before the picture is finished assembling in our minds. This tendency has been increasingly pushed into smaller and smaller bits. Which as a negative exponential inverse function has become more and more confusing as to be nigh meaningless with each subsequent reduction. Hence at a time when we should be more connected to everyone. We find increased feelings of isolation and alienation. No matter how much we communicate with our neighbors next door or abroad we have less consensus or feelings of commonality. We sequester these feeling with their accompanying anxieties, less we inadvertently offend anyone. Like what the Fuck! It is part and parcel of the Adult World. Being offended or offending others is how things get done. Usually for the best interests of everyone. Granted we should strive to be engaging to achieve our goals, short of violence or intimidation. Yet as any honest government would gladly concede. Once negotiations by normal means come to an impasse then comes negotiations by “other means”. The debased conduct of sordid persons is best met with our best foot forward, right up their ass! Like most animals, immediacy tends to be the most effective in correcting Mali-adpted conduct. Back to the horse I rode up on, hahaha.

At any rate, over the years I began to solve the underlying issues. I actually came to my own work arounds prior to fully grasping the centralized source or the impact of its implications. Years later I did begin to hear limited bits of information over the internet. Although it did take me a while before I started to correlate the “conspiracy theory” data with what I was “seeing” in women throughout the country. Largely because few had any real coherent information. Eventually, information concerning Project MK Ultra and our government's Psy-Ops programs sufficiently surfaced to flesh out the details. As a child, young teenager I was familiar with the government’s LSD experiments for a variety of reasons, mind control being one aspect. Frankly I can not believe there are people today who do not know or refuse to believe that our government conducted such experimentation on the populace. It was just common knowledge in the circles I travel. If you read the Program Outline for MK Ultra it has an extensive list of lines of “study” information was to be explored, accumulated with a focus of deriving paradigms of control on individuals, groups, countries, cultures, and from that to the world at Large. The Globalist, New World Order, G-7, Trilateral Commission, Illuminati the individuals and their constantly shifting panorama of institutions and foundations are continually sifting beliefs and cultures in an multi-generational game of Three Card Molly. Degree by degree all the world’s various societies and Cultures have been manipulated via global misdirection with large quantities of restructuring of values and beliefs. Till everyone on Earth thinks good is bad; and bad is good. I should think we have all heard these arguments before, usually framed as the delusions of conspiracy theorist. All rather convenient as a means explaining away any descent or even an open fair discussion. Our social structure has drifted far from where we should be. Starting in 2020, everything is going to change and never be this pleasant or nice again. Well at least not till after the Second Coming. Hahaha, despite sounding …...

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