#betty and jughead fan fiction

[rythmicjea]

We've reached the halfway point! ...Remember how this was supposed to be a 10 chapter fic? Yeah me neither lol. On a personal note, me and my family have been going through a bit of tragedy currently. My grandfather is at the end stage of his life and it's been very difficult for me to do anything that brings me joy. However, writing this story and posting it for you helps me forget the sadness we're going through. Thank you for reading and commenting and all your kudos. I don't think this is a very eventful chapter but it does set up the next part of the story.

Jughead crossed his arms defensively, taking a moment to think over the proposed deal. Sportsball. He’d probably have to quit the Blue and Gold to make room. “The only thing I’m good at is boxing.” He said sullenly. 

“You belong to a gym?” The intrigue filled the principal’s tone. He was a fan of conditional sports like boxing. It taught young men discipline and fortitude. Hell, he thought it was a great sport for any and all genders to be a part of.

“No…”

Weatherbee nodded his head slowly, understanding his student’s past. He had more decorum than to bring up his past gang activity, but he was going to look to the young man to help the Southside kids integrate into the school better. That was a discussion for another time. “Well, there is always track and field. Maybe you can do the shot put?” The boy was wiry but maybe there was some untapped strength, especially if he was used to fighting. “You look lithe enough, maybe long distance running? Or Volleyball? You’re tall enough for it.” He watched Jughead silently sigh, not impressed with the options. “...I hear Mr. Andrews is going out for Baseball, maybe you should too.” It was the tiniest of quirks of the boy’s brow but it was enough.

“And if I can’t get on any team?”

“Then Gym it is.”

Fuuucckkkk! Jughead’s mind whined.

[doctorcurdlejr]

Riverdale characters and their opinions on granking it

Archie -> supports Veronica and Jughead, doesn't listen to MCR all that much, and therefore takes the neutral stance that whatever his friends say is probably true and those men are divorced (was half listening to anything ever said to him)

Betty -> yeah go ahead and clock the peter pan collar with CoverGirl lipstick dramatically smeared off her face that's a MCR fan. Well known bisexual but deeply homophobic, therefore anybody who even mentions grank is a freak. YES she makes that disgusted look if somebody even mentions rpf, tries to tone it down for Veronica. Once got curious and read a 100k grank fem au, printed it out, ate a page, and then set it on fire at 2am.

Veronica -> Catholic 💥 Bisexual 💥 Dresses frequently in dark colors 💥 Casually morbid 💥 Loves theater 💥 not only does she grank it but my girl puts on her reading glasses to scroll through old live journal posts like she's a hardboiled detective ready to lock into the facts of the matter. "Jughead I could use another pair of eyes on this" it's 240p footage of those men fighting on stage. She keeps sending lesbo grank fics to Betty followed by "lol sorry meant for Jug." To which Betty responds "V. 😑"

Jughead -> [11am] violently typing a reply on a google doc for his creative writing class "I take offense at your claim that this is derivative of Velvet Goldmine just because I'm playing with similar themes. As to your second point, Cheryl, this band is an entirely fictional amalgamation meant to represent how our culture interfaced with the purely symbolic icons of the era." [2pm] "You're totally right, Bets. Really wish people could just appreciate the artistry and think more meaningfully about the MESSAGE." [10pm] sitting at his typewriter in Veronica's speakeasy where an entire diagram is laid out before him "This goes beyond stage gay. I'm sure of it."

Cheryl -> TO MX. G: Visiting fabulous Cali for the next fortnight. May I place Julian in your care for an evening? Have been absolutely overwhelmed with requests to visit darling Rosy. Whatever day works best, I understand scheduling so last minute may be difficult with your various dalliances. Ta!

Toni -> Once a regular contributor to Friends of Frerard night at the speakeasy, but suspiciously stopped all attendance after a vacation with Cheryl.

Kevin -> couldn't even tell you a band member's name but, in an attempt to be included in a conversation about homosexuality, once showed up at the speakeasy and laughingly asked Veronica if it was anything like Simon & Garfunkel. Before she could respond Jughead threw a copy of What is it All But Luminous at his head and told him to get out if he couldn't even be bothered to hold himself to their same level of base academic rigour.

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S7 E14 (Chapter 131) Archie the Musical

Well, this was fascinating. Do feel free to skip directly to the read-more which has the recap proper, because this next bit is a preamble. 

I always wonder about the urge of actors and people who work with actors to create situations in which the actors have to put on performances within performances.   At worst, it can get very navel-gazing, vain and shallow, but a lot of the time, if you can forgive performers for being too fascinated by themselves, the actual task of putting on the performance within a performance, where there’s a character who doesn’t know they’re a character in the show you (the audience member) are watching but IS aware that they’re pretending to be a character in a show that they know is a fictional creation seems really hard.  The task that the makers of Riverdale set for the actors of Riverdale in this episode is all that, squared, and it was very fun to watch.  Oh, and I’m a big fan of  this show, in an unironic, unabashed way, and I genuinely think a lot of these actors are actually very gifted as actors and putting on intentional, deliberate performances using their gifts, so take that under advisement as well.  

The musical opens with an alarm and just no preamble of any kind whatsoever.  Archie is singing a song from the literal second he wakes up.  Season 7 Archie has been Archie without the darkness and pain and sexuality that made him so fascinating to Jughead in all previous seasons to begin with, but in this opening sequence Season 7 Archie is fully a Classic (as opposed to Renaissance or Modern era) Disney princess.  He’s SO innocent and SO wholesome.  It’s very jarring.

“Why is life so cruel” he sings as he puts on clothes and says things like “same old teachers yapping in our ears!”

This song is extremely untuneful.  It’s a bad song.  This sounds like something I would sing at a passing street cat when I am wobbling home from having too many soju-beer mixes after dinner.   And Archie insincerely ‘selling’ it  makes it so much more awkward.

Very confusingly, Archie says it’s his Senior year as he waves out his window at Betty, who apparently has been standing there fully dressed in her perfect pink outfit watching him get up out of bed and into clothes this whole time.  If I wasn’t getting over Covid which I’ve caught later than literally everyone else this would’ve been the first valuable hint, but instead what I thought was, Oh this is the musical episode with a cold open AND a time jump?  Because they weren’t seniors yet last episode right?

Archie, who has never once been shown doing this, is waiting for her outside her door. They do this Singing in the Rain type of box step around each other before they skip off to school smiling entirely too much. It’s very surreal watching two characters repeatedly presented as All American being a parody of the All American concept.

Anyways, Betty takes over the song and she acts the most Un Betty-ish out of this whole season of being very unBetty.  She’s twirling around like she’s manic off of uppers, singing about how last year was “nothing but good times, nothing but fun ahead.” The net effect of this is very creepy and a lot scary. This is Betty Cooper as Alice Cooper always wants her to be. Betty, are you ok?!?  She starts hollering about how she’s “a model A student/ I’ll be perfect and prudent” and I totally feel like I’m having a stroke.  This is way worse than those NO She Would NOT Do That type of fanfics.

The first time I watched this episode I was already discombobulated by this time but the feeling became one of alarm when we moved on to Veronica.  Veronica is warbling about herself - she has “looks and style and brains and class” and “money? Well I do have a lot.”  I’m about to commit harakiri.  NO SHE WOULD NOT SAY THIS ABOUT HERSELF.    Veronica seems to be resisting the narrative because she addresses a free standing mirror as “mirror mirror on the shelf.”   She has a huge black and white actor profile type of photo of Archie stuck into her mirror.    She starts referencing designers that most definitely were not active in the 1950s (Versace, Prada, Klein).  

But I spoke far too soon about being scared of what’s going on in this opening sequence because the scariest is yet to come.  Jughead.  He’s apparently a super early rising morning person which - NO HE ISN’T. He’s fully dressed, seated at his desk, typing.   He’s singing. Is it because Jughead hasn’t sung much on this show that I am so scared of this or is this genuinely scary?  His eyes look totally crazed.   “Four years/ feels like I’ve done it before” he warbles.  He keeps smiling in a joyless way as he sings.  

He has a folder he shoves his morning pages into called “Genius Story Ideas” and after he chucks the paper in there he starts doing a solo dance sequence in front of his dog. It’s so bouncy, with big swinging motions.  This is so un-Jughead and I am very worried about him.  Jughead is apparently  done with summer school (when the hell did that happen?) so he can now take his place among his other classmates.  Then he finds a pizza box under his bed, looking absolutely maniacal.  

He’s doing a really alarming thing with his EYES.  Part of the reason that Jughead’s singing sequence is so scary is that he looks boyish  but his voice is all grown up, so the disconnect is very disconcerting. The other jarring element is that he is smiling like a Spearmint gum model  while singing this upbeat, chipper song, but his voice is much more indie-rock and melancholy.   

Next, he dance-steps his way into school carrying a cafeteria tray, accompanied by Ethel (looking great in a yellow and orange ensemble with green hints), Dilton and Ben.  He also makes up a word to rhyme with Sandwich (the last word of his song.).  Once again  - omg those maniacal googly EYES?   Jughead would never say “kicking back with my pals/ and finding myself.”   He keeps grinning as he swings his face from side to side except he’s not smiling AT anyone - he smiles at the back of a girl’s head after he grins at a shelf of trays.   He does a little twirl but he’s tense as fuck.  I feel like any second now he’s going to rip the skin off his own face using his fingernails.

Then comes the cheerleaders, followed by the basketball players.  

The cheerleaders seem very comfortable compared to Jughead. They have less to do in terms of choreo but they also don’t look terrified/ enraged.   The boys in particular line up to do a hip thrusting thing in formation in their short shorts.  They all pick up Reggie, and Julian and Fangs touch his chest.   This song will not end.  It’s just so untuneful!  It’s really hard to listen to the lyrics because I just find the notes so ugly.  Reggie however screams “I Rule Here!” as he sits on boys’ shoulders and once again - HE WOULD NOT DO THAT.  Not even S2-6 Reggie would be like this, and S7 1950s Reggie is too cautious and repressed to even think these thoughts.

The thing that upset me the most during my initial viewing, second only to Jughead tensely grinning away as he tried to sell his song like he was a child performer on High School Musical was that Julian Blossom is a natural performer.  Some people can sell any kind of choreography.  Like, even if the steps are objectively stupid the performer can elevate them to something charming or cute, even if they can’t fully dissipate the stupidity.  Julian is someone who can do this, and that surprised me. Why is the resident toxic masculinity jock a great musical theater performer?

Archie, Betty and Veronica drive up in his jalopy.  Suddenly everyone is congregating on the steps of the school main entrance.  Archie and Jughead finally act like they know each other - they give each other an extremely enthusiastic high five.   They’re all doing this super cheerful looking dance sequence, grinning ear to ear in bright sunshine and I feel like I really want to get on my knees and apologize to Roberto for complaining about all those times when the show was very murkily lit such that it was hard to see anything.   Watching all these people grinning is like watching those robotic children of the North Korean propaganda choirs, where the people have been perfectly trained to be more like animatronics than actual robots could ever be.   My eye keeps compulsively going to Jughead because he is completely not acting like himself.  LIke, Betty and Veronica and Toni and Cheryl and Clay and Archie all putting on their perfect Americana smiles, standing legs apart and arms spread in celebratory Vs - I can accept this.  JUGHEAD DOING THIS I CANNOT.  I keep wanting to reach into the screen to shake Jughead, to ask, Who is hurting you now?  What has happened??

And GUESS WHAT - it’s a fakeout.  

We finally get an explanation of what all this insanity was! In the ‘reality’ of S7 Riverdale, in the 1950s alternate universe, Kevin, who looks so pleased, calls out “Wow that was incredible!  Was that not so incredible, Clay?” 

Clay agrees with him because he’s not allowed to disagree with Kevin (The show posits that lovers can never actually disagree with each other, because that’s not what it means to be supportive, to disagree with your partner).

I hate Kevin so much, I have all season and this just seals the deal for me.  This musical sucks! Your song writing sucks!

And then the show does an about face and agrees with me, because all the ‘performers’ agree with me that this song was objectionable.   Clay and Kevin are in raptures about how fantastic it is, but everyone looks back at them with disagreement full on their faces.

Betty tactfully asks if the song they were all just forced to sing were written by the two boys.  That is, she wants to know how honest she’s going to be allowed to be about how much it sucks.   Unfortunately for her, Clay and Kevin did indeed write the song. This makes it so much more awkward for everyone to give their honest feedback.  Ethel, being the bravest girl in Riverdale and also someone who has recently not just seen the hacked-to-death corpses of her parents but also killed a man, tries first.  She says in a roundabout way that the song is too long and there are too many songs overall in the musical (“There’s a lot of music”) which is what you say when the material you’re given sucks ass.

Clay and Kevin, who are doing this because they’re finally allowed to put on a show that isn’t Oklahoma (which would have been a better choice because at minimum it comes with Agnes DeMille choreography and not the totalitarian cult dance that we just saw them all perform), take a very, very long time to realize that their cast actually doesn’t like the opening number very much. 

They’re both grinning ear to ear, exploding with joy, but nobody else looks even a little happy.  

Archie tries to object to the entire premise of the show, but because he’s not very bright he asks it in a dumb way: “Why are we playing seniors in the show? We’re juniors in real life.”

Kevin absolutely refuses to take the hint that not even Archie can stomach his songwriting, and gives a very pompous explanation about how Senior year is always a much better premise. 

Veronica tries to out theater-snob Kevin, since she knows a thing or two about putting on hideous musical numbers.  “Dramaturgically” is a word she wields like a weapon, to try to puncture Kevin’s ego-balloon.  Veronica asks  why it is she’s still ‘the new girl.’  She also directly criticizes the lyrical content - “Does that make sense?”

Kevin very slowly starts to realize they all totally hate it. 

Julian speaks up next.  He thinks he should be the lead because he’s the best singer (to which Midge says Fangs is the best singer) (which no, honey those are just your pregnancy hormones fucking up your brain) (And sorry for the string of parenthetical thoughts but JULIAN IS RIGHT. He IS the best performer -he looks intentional and natural singing and dancing.)  

Clay is as much of a bullshitting asswipe as Kevin (this is why they’re perfect for each other, I guess?) because he tells Julian that he’s Archie’s understudy in response to the bickering about who the ‘best’ singer is between Julian and Midge.   Actually the reason Julian isn’t the lead is because Kevin and Clay don’t like him as much, simply because he’s less likable, kind of a dick, but also Julian is very straight.  That is - the makers of this high school musical picked the boy they liked the most to be the lead, and they do not give a shit about meritocracy even for the purposes of putting on the best possible show.  

On the meta level though, this comment is very important for an analysis of this show   The redhead Blossom boy (previously Jason, now Julian) and Archie Andrews are often made to play oddly parallel parts to each other, so this is the show acknowledging this strange connection - that is, Jughead’s fantasies about Jason fueled S1 plot as much as his fantasies about Archie fuel the plot of the rest of the show;  Cheryl and Jason possibly probably had a (psycho)sexual something and in the wake of Jason’s death all the Blossoms tried to abduct Archie into their family; Archie became captain of the football team when Jason died and he became captain of the basketball team when Julian fell into a coma etc. 

Anyway, in answer to the two shitty songwriters’ arbitrary comment that Archie has to be the lead in the musical, the lesbians object immediately.  Cheryl and Toni in tandem state that a musical that’s “about all of them” can’t have Archie Andrews as the “main” character at the same time, and further, that they object to being relegated to ‘chorus’ girls in a male-centric narrative.  Yup.  Kevin the woman hating gay man would totally do this to women.

Sidebar - This is an interesting and visceral thing they keep doing with Kevin.  A man can be gay and be an enemy of women is the Kevin thesis.  Why it is that RAS, a gay man, keeps making his show make this point over and over in its final season?!

Anyway, Kevin and Clay continue to be dicks and also bad artists - they do not address any of the valid criticisms they are being given.  In response to “why is there a white straight male lead character when you (lied and) said the show was about all of us?” Kevin gives an insultingly condescending answer:  “You’ll have lines in the closing number.”

Way to miss the point, you git.

The untalented gay musical theater duo try to sell the finale of the musical as happening at The Prom.

This idea is extremely exciting to Midge for some reason, but it takes Jughead completely out of the game.  “In my opinion there is no lower art form than American musical comedy,” he says, which is very funny because he is an active participant in another “low” art form - the American horror/underground comic books, and he is saying this on Riverdale the show on CW exported to Netflix which keeps getting pilloried for being ‘bad’ and ‘low culture’ by people who are not as sophisticated and artistic as me.  

Reggie immediately says that while he “has the looks for acting” he doesn’t want to do either singing or dancing.  

Taking a step away from episode recapping to note that the best way I’ve found to enjoy Riverdale is to assume that all the decisions being made on screen are deliberate and intentional.  All these people - the writers, the choreographer, the actors, the editors etc - have made every choice presented to me ON PURPOSE.  So Jughead looking scarily manic was a performance choice that the actor made which the lighting director chose to make highly visible which the director encouraged. That kind of hamfisted hamminess with its strange undergirding of anger is what Jughead the character thinks American musicals are like.  By the same token - the amiable ease of Archie and Betty’s performances was supposed to communicate their cooperative characters. 

Do you get me?  Jughead Jones looked awkward and insane during what we saw of his song and dance number because Jughead Jones the character felt awkward and insane doing the number. 

Kevin and Clay take the departure of Jughead and Reggie in stride, because their focus was always on Archie.   Archie, Julian - and in fact, everyone visible on the ‘performer’ side of the room look deeply unhappy. 

It’s time for Archie’s “I want song” which Julian has to participate in because he’s Archie’s understudy.   Archie still hates Julian.  He is only staying to spite Julian, and you have this hilarious spectacle of two hyper masculine jock boys competitively singing a really dorky, frankly effeminate I Want Song at each other, line by line.  Archie is a stiff-as-fuck musical performer. He doesn’t understand this musical, he doesn’t like its premise, and all of that comes through in his stiff performance as he tries to stay on the beat. (Archie elsewhere has given good singing performances where he wasn't stiff and awkward, so this is very deliberate for this particular episode.)

Julian has a beautifully modulated singing voice.  His motions are fluid and natural.  He even moves his EYEBROWS well. He sells the song. It … like- i can’t believe I’m saying this - it sounds good when he sings it. Tuneful and catchy and everything.    Julian is elevating Kevin’s stupid music and I’m torn to pieces because a good performance is always pleasurable but I DON’T WANT THE SONG TO BE ELEVATED BECAUSE I WANT KEVIN TO FAIL.

Then Riverdale fully goes BOLLYWOOD.  Just. This is Bollywood. With no warning.  The camera pans up to follow the line of Julian’s sight as he does a really great piece of impromptu motion, projecting his voice to the ceiling.  Bollywood does this thing where people are in ‘reality’ (like say, in front of a bangles stall at the market) and then the song starts and suddenly they’re in a fantasy outdoor reality (say, in front of the pyramids of Giza), and the initial notes of the song are always shown with the character either running towards or away from each other.  They also change into much fancier clothes.

By the same token, this song transports both Archie and Julian to the sunny outdoors. They’re wearing tight fitting  sports uniforms that BOTH say Andrews.  And they’re running.   Julian looks completely at ease, dance-running gracefully to demonstrate the lyrics (“Archie going left/ Archie going right”).  Archie is having a really hard time running and singing at the same time, plus he’s very annoyed at Julian having this beautiful voice so he keeps scowling, too aware of what Julian is doing to give his own performance his all.  Julian is able to introduce truly lovely details into his ‘dance-run’ like annoyed little twitches of his head when Archie pulls ahead of him before racing to catch up. 

We’re back in the ‘reality’ of the rehearsal room.  Archie has picked up some performance points from Julian, again out of spite and competitiveness more than inspiration.   He’s starting to try to actually dance as he sings.  He’s snapping his fingers.  He does things with his hand as he delivers the lyrics.  He still looks stiff as fuck, but Julian is big enough to appreciate these gestures at improvement.    He actually, as a fellow artist, approves of Archie making an effort.  He even gives him an encouraging nod!

Julian, who is a nepo baby through and through about literally everything, is a meritocrat about musical theater.

I CAN’T COPE.

Kevin is ecstatic with hope again, thinking that it’s coming together. He’s so stupid.  He just lucked into having a talented musical theater leading man in the form of Julian, whom he’s incompetent enough to use as THE UNDERSTUDY. 

Archie is bouncing on the beat to every note of this song, but Julian knows (because he’s talented, omg I’m freaking out) that economy of movement is always better in the dance arts, so he keeps his body still and only makes gestural motions when they are necessary to communicate the song.

We’re back to the outdoor Bollywood reality.  Fully aware that he is losing, that he is Salieri to Julians’ Mozart, Archie brings out his best weapon - his abs.  He takes off his shirt as he runs. He looks really stressed out and aggressive about Julian being so much better than him.  Julian will not ever back down from a challenge, so he takes his shirt off too and GUESS WHAT  he has the same washboard abs as Archie!  “I’m a ripped ginger too!” is what Julian’s face says to Archie as they sing their song and run.   Archie is deeply unhappy about this.  He can’t bear to look at Julian. He doesn’t know what to do now.

Guys, I’m so into this musical. I love it. This is so fun. And it’s all because of Julian. 

Then they’re in the boys' changing room at school, singing at each other while taking their showers after the run.  This Bollywood reality is very gay alluva sudden.  Archie, Mr. Stiff & Awkward, is trying very hard to level up his choreography game.  He slams a hand into the shower wall as he sings.  Julian does the same thing, but better, with more panache.  Archie gives Julian a cock-eyed look.  Julian has super flexible eyebrows and does the cock-eyed challenging face BETTER.  Archie tries running his hand through his hair while making a cocky face.  Julian does it but with BOTH hands, HARMONIZES, and while Archie gets stuck with his hand in his own hair, extends the motion by spreading his hands wide and doing this fun little head tilt while adding a whole lot of swaggery sass to HIS version of the cocky face.

Archie gets pissed enough to slap the shower wall and - 

SEE, THE RIVERDALE ACTORS ARE GREAT.

This wall slap is categorically, visually, emotionally different from his doing as a ‘dance’ to try to one-up Julian as a performer.  This is genuine. It’s the ‘real’ Archie’s actual frustration about not being as good as Julian. 

Archie the fictional character breaks character as the fictional Archie, bringing on the record scratch sound. 

No STOP STOP STOP! Archie screams in desperation. He wants very much to be the lead now because he’s seeing how great Julian is and Julian Blossom cannot be allowed to win.  I’m furious and scared because I have a crush on Julian now even though I still hate this musical and why is this happening to me??

Julian says that “we were humming” and Archie is petty as anything.  He tries to assert dominance by saying he doesn’t like that “my UNDERSTUDY” is “singing at the same time as me!” because it’s “super distracting.”  Julian knows what I know which is that Archie is hating it that Julian is just immensely better than Archie is.  He makes a face and says UH Huh! at that.  

Archie, like all mediocre performers, starts to blame the material. “I’m not really jiving with this song.”  Julian won’t let him get away with this at all - “That’s funny, I am!”  And Julian would be. He was making it work.  

Kevin, because as I said he is not a meritocrat, decides to accommodate Archie.  He starts asking a truly unwieldy set of questions.  “What do you want in real life? What’s your secret passion or dream? Who is Archie Andrews?”    Julian pretends to be interested in Archie’s answer but actually he’s getting a kick out of Archie’s utterly overwhelmed silence. He is making the funniest faces of sarcastic faux concern as Archie gets totally freaked out by the onslaught of introspective prompts.   “Do you even know what you want?”  Kevin asks.  Clay asks which girl he wants to date.  Julian is smart  - catching on immediately, he continues the cross examination - “Do you want to be on the basketball team??”  “Write poetry?” Kevin finishes.

Archie  has no choice but  to say he doesn’t know.  Then he tries to say ‘all of them’ but that gets shut down by Kevin. The rules of dramaturgy, to borrow Veronica’s word, necessitate that the I Want song can only be about one thing, not multiple things.  Or else “you have a poorly defined main character.”

I mean.  Archie has been Barbie levels of flexible in terms of career (to borrow Cheryl Blossom’s spectacular summing up) on all previous seasons of Riverdale, so this is yet another juicy little meta self-commentary by the show.  Julian is very amused about Archie getting hoisted by his own petard, for one, and for another, he’s amused by Kevin being totally oblivious to the fact that it’s being confronted with Julian’s talent that is freaking Archie out first and foremost. 

Clay and Kevin promise that they’re going to write a different, more suitable I-want song for Archie, even though Archie is worried that they won’t be able to since he himself doesn’t know what he wants.

Done with the day, Kevin and Clay leave the music room, holding hands, being very lovey dovey.  Clay drops exposition about things going badly at home for Kevin.  Then they sing a pretty-enough duet about what they have being “no ordinary feeling” because “this is love, this is love.”  OK but it’s so castrated, boys.  So the Kevin performer has a beautiful voice, and he sings whatever he has to with resonance and conviction, but he’s a better singer than he’s an actor, because Kevin and Clay have absolutely no chemistry. I have zero sense that either one desires the other.   They’re two teenage boys engaging in what seems to be a very brave, out gay relationship at very high risk, crossing racial lines, even, and yet they have NO chemistry, NO yearning, and they make faces at each other of the type I make to fluffy dogs.  Like, they like each other, they want nice things for each other, but I don’t believe for a second that they’re attracted to each other.  So it’s really jarring, actually, and makes me hate Kevin even more.  He is worshipful of Clay for EXACTLY THE SAME REASONS that he was so shitty to Betty for - Betty gave AND STILL GIVES HIM understanding and support so he just trod all over her, lied to her, gaslit her, and was unabashedly blatant about his revulsion for her female body.    Kevin is with Clay not because he loves Clay or loves men, but because he is too insecure to be single and he hates women too much, so it’s men or nothing.  I hate Kevin.

We’re at the diner, and at first I am relieved to see Cheryl.  But then it’s a Kevin / Clay production number , this time written for women, so I know I’m in for a bad time.   Betty bursts into song about how the only girl for Archie is her.  She’s skippy and bouncy and I want to throw up.  This is how Kevin really sees her - as a boycrazy airhead.  Which she has never, ever been, not even in the 1950s AU. (How many times is too many times to say I hate Kevin in one post?)  Betty gets physically obnoxious with Veronica, kicking at her to move out of the booth.

Then Veronica sings her portion and does a thing nobody ever does.  She puts her hand right on her female rival’s cleavage, palm flat, while pushing her backwards to declare that she’s “not the kind of girl who comes in second place.”  Kevin thinks Veronica buys her boys with money (“I serve it up on a silver plate”).   He’s half right - she does, but not for the reasons he thinks.  Generosity is Veronica’s love language, and moreover, because she’s known to be rich, nobody ever refuses her extravagant gifts. 

Cheryl and Toni are forced to be the backup singers and co-occupiers of the same booth as Betty and Veronica sing this stupid song about how perfect each of them are for Archie.  Cheryl rolls her eyes so hard she almost has a stroke, and Toni looks done with life. 

We get a very very pinkish red sequence of the three of them - Veronica, Archie and Betty - playing in a band together.  Archie is silent so far, grinning at each in turn and the girls make very sweet faces at him before glowering at each other behind his (oblivious? fully aware?) back.  

Then the unexpected happens.  Toni starts singing about how Archie met her at Pop’s.  She took him for a spin on her motorcycle.  Archie rides behind Toni, who looks absolutely adorable with her huge wig and tiny biker’s outfit on her patently fake bike in front of the blue screen.   Then the nightmare continues.  Cheryl calls her “honey” in order to sing about her own sexcapade with Archie.  She puts on a non regulation siren-red Vixen cheerleader outfit, in front of a blazing fire AND  dozen candles at her house.  “Archie leaned in” apparently.

All four girls are in the band now, singing about how they each want Archie.  

Kevin really, really hates women.  He hates straight women for getting men,  but Kevin. KEVIN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.  Also CLAY YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT YOU SMUG ASSHOLE.

The lyrics to this song are appalling;  “One boy plus four best friends/ Pretty girls getting ugly” “Best frenemies.”

“Bop on the head you twit” says Cheryl, immediately, as soon as Kevin is about to be overwhelmed with ecstasy at seeing his woman hating vision come to life.  Kevin invented the word ‘frenemies’ to be specifically shitty to women.  “Is this how you see us?” Betty finally asks.

Betty.

BETTY

YES.

YES HE DOES.

“Vapid khaki-wacky girls?”  NO. 

Oh she was so close.

No Betty. He thinks ALL STRAIGHT GIRLS ARE VAPID.  Also I have no idea what khaki-wacky means or if that’s even a real phrase, but I guess it means ‘airhead.’  Get it together girl.  He really did waste your time out of sheer contempt for you and you should be kicking him in the nuts every single time you see his stupid face.

Veronica says that she will get a better song written by someone else.   Because she knows actually talented songwriters - people who win Oscars and Tony awards.   She is thinking Cole Porter.    The lesbians add on the very valid comment that their parts seem especially tacked on.  Kevin very bitchily says that it’s because they wanted bigger parts - and this sort of airhead role is all either of them, and indeed all women, are good for.

Why does the show want me to hate Kevin so much by the way?  

Cheryl challenges the two misogynist gays to “write something truthful” and “more honest about you two.”  Kevin doesn’t like this idea,  but Clay nods at him because he wants some sort of show to exist.

The untalented woman hating gays  next approache Archie to let him know there’s a new I Want song.  They’ve decided to “focus on your quest for love.”  Archie is going to give this song a whirl because Julian isn’t there to show him up. 

The song is about choosing between Betty and Veronica. Which means the misogynist gay duo has completely not bothered listening to anything any of the girls said about how they object to misogyny in the musical.  They literally give Archie tickets with Veronica and Betty’s names printed on them, reducing both girls down to Socialite Queen and The Girl Next Door.   He does a little spin around a street lamp just outside the cinema where he’s about to watch ‘Choosing Between Betty and Veronica’ in a direct homage to Gene Kelly in Dancing in the Rain, except all I feel is sadness that I don’t get to watch Julian have a go at doing that. 

Apparently, Archie’s choices are between Wanting/ Needing,  Living/ Dreaming, and I’m not sure which one represents what.  Does he WANT Veronica and NEED Betty?  Or does Veronica represent ‘living” and Betty “dreaming”? 

So, according to the Misogynist Gay Duo, Veronica is Onion Rings and Betty is Cotton Candy.  Betty, seriously, kick them both in the nuts. 

But then the visuals in the song change and it gets suddenly very interesting.  When Betty is feeding Archie cotton candy on the school steps,  Archie turns his head away from her to take in the sight of Reggie practicing hoops, looking very handsome.  The lyrics are “They’re both delicious.”  We then cut to the diner, where Veronica is simpering at Archie, but Archie asks himself “How can I choose between two perfect things?” as he looks away from her to  look at Jughead moodily typing away in another booth. 

The posters he next sees show him the choice between basketball / athleticism and poetry.  Suuuure, looking at Reggie and Jughead are about career choices and not the boys themselves. Uh huh.  

Archie stops the song again, to confess that he’s been very bothered by the questions they peppered him with last time.  What does he really want?   Kevin freely admits that he didn’t actually care about this at all, he just wanted a song, so he wrote what for him is the most interesting thing about straight men - not their humanity, not their feelings, but their (to him) frustrating and bizarre need and desire to fuck women.  Archie tries to tell him that “that’s not really the big question that I’m wrestling with.”

Archie drops out of the musical because he has to figure some things out for himself.  Kevin is very annoyed, but Clay, because he’s more dishonest, pretends to wish Archie well on his quest for self discovery.  

I still think Archie is too freaked out by how good Julian is, and doesn’t want to hear Julian sing better than he does about Veronica and Betty. 

Veronica and Betty are hanging out at Veronica’s apartment.  Veronica says that Cole Porter has agreed to write her a little ditty so they can sing it at the musical.  Cole Porter was born 1891 so in ‘the present day’ of this AU, he’s sixty four. SIXTY FOUR.   Why did the show decide on Cole Porter???   Did they just want these girls to say COLE?? 

Anyway, Veronica confesses to Betty that she kissed Archie during the Red Scare.  Betty calmly asks her if she likes him, to which Veronica says that she does, but that she likes Betty more.   Veronica feels closer to Betty than anyone else in town, and Betty FEELS THE SAME WAY.   Betty suggests that they focus on their friendship.  And then they hold hands, because this is how heterosexual girls behave.

We cut to Kevin, who is having a halting, weird conversation with his dad.  His father seems to be sleeping at his office.  Is this why Sheriff Keller has been even more incompetent than he usually is??   He says that he wants to have his whole family together at the musical in the spring.  Kevin cannot get any information out of his dad about what’s going on with his parents’ estrangement.

The Misogynist Gay Duo have summoned the Skeptical Superfemme Dykes to say that they wrote them a better song, a truer song, like Cheryl commanded, because the two of them  heard the feedback and accepted the challenge.

This is a lie of course.  They lost their straight male lead, so now they are desperately scrambling to put some sort of show, any sort of show, together, so as to enjoy the ego high of having ‘their original work’ on stage.  They can’t even be honest about why they’re doing any of this.  And of course, of COURSE, OF COURSE, this song is actually the Misogynist Gay Duo praising themselves, with the valueless females’ participation only an afterthought.  

The song is fine.

Well, actually it’s not.

It’s deeply weird. 

“I know I’ll never find your loving in anyone else” is ordinary enough, but then comes the very next lyric, which is repeated several times: “Though I’ll try.”  Same goes for “I’ll never find your smile in anyone else” and then comes the damning “Though I’ll try.” 

???????????

This exhibits a huge amount of ambivalence - the point of reluctance - to being gay, of being in love with the person who ‘makes’ you gay. 

“I’d fight myself, you know I would/ If I thought it’d do any good.”

The Good here being, not being in love with the person who makes you - and marks you out as - gay.

This is not … a gay love song, though the gay-and-lesbian parallel love scene montage they play over it is an attempt to sell it as one.  It’s a I Wish I Wasn’t Gay song. It’s a, I’m going to Keep looking for someone who isn’t the same gender as me who will give me the same feeling, song, but then depressedly, defeatedly acquiescing to the fact that I am probably gay, for realsies, in the end.   They’re going to stay together because they don’t know how “Let go of your hand/ to start another life.”  This is the opposite of the celebration of discovering your own feelings.

Kevin and Clay are so fucked up and so shitty. 

They also are not going to come out, and will not include this in the musical.  This was a sort of bribe, to trick the Skeptical Superfemme Dykes into staying in the musical, but of course, this backfires.  Cheryl and Toni refuse to be in the musical and to lend their names to it, as long as they have to lie about being gay to participate. 

At the diner, any sort of decision making he has to do is freaking Archie out.  He can’t decide between soup or salad, even.  Jughead is there. OMG they know each other again!   Jughead says they’re both going to take BOTH the soup and the salad (Ooh?) then prompts Archie to continue what he was saying.  Archie says that KEVIN is writing a musical about him, and he doesn’t know why.  (RIP Clay, you don’t count). 

I do.  

Kevin is writing the musical about Archie because he wishes he wasn’t gay and he assumes Archie is entirely straight like he wishes he was.   Archie has the facts but not the insight - he says that Kevin is writing him as though the main decision in his life is about choosing between Betty and Veronica (which is to say, Kevin is deeply obsessed with heterosexuality of men but hates the women that are required to be a heterosexual man) but for Archie, the real Archie of S7, the thing that’s really tearing him apart is the choice between poetry and basketball, he says.

Jughead directly disagrees.  He says that Archie’s problem is the fear of making any sort of choice, that he thinks might ‘affect the rest of his life.’ He calls Archie a ‘cube.’ He also references Camus that Archie doesn’t understand.

Then, Archie suddenly bursts into non-diagetic song (or is it diagetic????) as Jughead smirks at him.  His song is about how he can’t pick two, he has to pick ONE and be a man. Pops is back with the soup, salad and sandwich, which the Archie promptly rejects.  He wants just the sandwich.  Jughead says he’s going to take soup and salad (Archie’s rejects).  Is Jughead starving in this universe?  No, right? Because he has a job that pays and stuff.  Is Betty soup (whom he got together with after Archie unequivocally rejected her in the OG time line the first time) and Veronica salad (whom he was briefly together with in this timeline after Archie rejected HER)?

Archie rushes home to tell Frank that he is going to choose poetry over basketball. He wants out of the basketball team.  Frank is furious, calling him “some kind of beatnik poet” then yelling about how HE needs Archie on the team and he won’t approve of it.  Then Uncle Fucking Frank threatens Archie - “You will regret it!” but Archie stands firm. He’s made his choice and is fine with regretting it.

Next morning at Kevin’s house, Kevin’s mom brings him a little something for breakfast because he overslept.  With Clay.  Clay departs out the window. 

WE FINALLY SEE KEVIN’S MOM. 

I don’t know that we’ve ever seen his mom, ever. She seems nice enough.  She proposes a family dinner.  I wish I cared more about her, but I don’t because she is Kevin’s mom.

Then comes the song that Cole Porter allegedly wrote for Veronica, as per whatever her instructions are.  

OK So.

I love Cole Porter. I know a lot of them by heart, especially off the Ella Fitzgerald Sings the Cole Porter Song Book album, released in - guess when - 1956.

HOW DARE THEY TAKE COLE PORTER’S NAME IN VAIN. 

This song that Veronica and Betty sing together and for each other is absolutely nothing like any Cole Porter song whatsoever in any way. WHY REFERENCE COLE PORTER?  I really think they just wanted Camila Mendes to say “Cole” and have Lili Reinhart say “Cole” back to her on screen.  It could’ve literally been any other musical songwriter otherwise - Oscar Hammerstein was a contemporary of Cole Porter!  Richard Rodgers was a bit younger than both of them!  The Sherman brothers (who wrote Mary Poppins) may even have been the right age to plausibly be friends with Veronica!  Cole Porter was a really weird choice - so the only reason to choose him was this bizarre fan service.  If anything this song sounds like Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez (of Frozen fame).

The song is pretty, and the two girls sing it pretty enough, but it’s trite as fuck and so are the visuals.  The Bee and Vee Bollywood timeout consists of their running for class president  on individual tickets at first, and then joining forces to be a co-headlining ticket.   Something about seeing the universe inside, being afraid to show your real self.  Veronica says she always needs to be the best, and Betty needs people to realize she’s more than her surface.  

 The show shows its true colors (and not the pretty lesbian ones of the balloons that the Bee and Vee ticket use at their school election campaign) in that it thinks the only valid liberation for women was getting the vote.  That’s the surface level injustice (not having suffrage) that the show can truly believe was gendered oppression.  Once that was solved, women should’ve just shut up.  Fuck off, show.

 The girls are so turned on by someone acknowledging that she might have depth that they apparate out to space to share a kiss as a comet falls.  

The Misogynist Gay Duo are completely confused by this song.  Kevin does not understand it whatsoever, because it doesn’t fit with his world view, that women can have anything other than disgusting vaginas that straight men are (to him) inexplicably obsessed with fucking.  Clay is a bit more with it - at least, he’s sensitive to the “energy exchange” as Veronica calls it, that occurred between them in the course of the song.  Kevin’s summing up of this song is SO WRONG.  He says he felt “the pain of your isolation” and even worse, the girls’ “desperate” (he really says, Desperate) “need to be seen.”  THAT ISN’T WHAT THEY SAID THOUGH, KEVIN.   They said that they saw a universe in each other.  You stupid woman hating piece of shit. I hope your mother calls you fat and ruins your confidence at the end of this episode.  For fuck’s sake.

Once more - WHYYYY are they doing this with Kevin’s character?  He did not hate women even when women were being kind of hateful to him (such as Betty outing him when he wasn’t ready to his dad).  Oh.  Is this why?  In S7 ,we get to see Toni being shitty to Cheryl in a reversal of Cheryl being problematic to Toni, so by the same token we get to see Kevin despise Betty as he should’ve done in earlier seasons??

Bee and Vee are shook, so they discuss the “primal” “charged and intense” connection they felt during the song.  Betty wants to climb Veronica’s emotionally complex mountain.

With absolutely perfect timing, Archie comes to tell the two pretty girls he’s kissed that he is choosing celibacy in order to discover himself, even though he’s fond of them.  They are so put out.  Like, dude get over yourself. 

Of course, Archie is behaving like this not least because he was infected with Kevin’s warped view of his life.

We cut to Kevin at his family dinner at the Diner. His mother is like four feet taller than his dad, which I like very much.   Kevin continues to be shit.  He is saying “The new Archie, Julian, he’s even better than the real Archie.”   This is accurate but he only came to this realization because Julian is literally the only person interested in performing his songs - THERE’S LITERALLY NO CAST LEFT because Kevin sucks.   

His parents tell him in a clumsy way that they are getting a divorce.  Kevin seems upset, but doesn’t lash out or anything, and says pompously that he has his ‘presentation’ of the musical tomorrow so he’s going to go home now.  He gets a bit sarcastic with them, I guess, but I don’t care. I hate Kevin.

Then we get to the presentation of the musical  Julian has been cast as Archie.  Clay is playing the part of Jughead. Midge and one other nameless girl have been shoehorned into the slot originally given to Cheryl and Toni (the foursome of bitches that want to fuck Archie).  Veronica and Betty are inexplicably willing to participate still, even though they were given a vastly superior song to sing that had them hallucinating space traveling lesbian sex.  The fact that the Misogynist Gay Duo are USING THE NAMES of Archie (no longer in the musical), Jughead (who hates both of them and the musical), Reggie (also out since day 1), for this show is HORRENDOUS.  Oh and fuck you Fangs, for playing Reggie. 

Veronica, I’m so disappointed in you.  You gave Jughead such hell for using your name and likeness in the genre fiction he writes, but you’re fine with Kevin doing this to everyone who explicitly said they DID NOT WANT to be involved in his stupid musical?

Anyway the chief pleasure of this number, is, of course, JULIAN.  The Riverdale MVP.  He is just so good at every part of this.  Wearing the Archie costume with the correct attitude for the way the character is set up in the musical. He’s so GREAT at theater dancing. Knows exactly how to place his weight, knows exactly how much to move, and the singing voice is just lovely!  He shows up everyone - Betty and Veronica look and sound like gifted amateurs trying to keep up with a professional.  

Featherhead applauds Julian, because he understands quality when he sees it, unlike Kevin.

Oh and Kevin and Clay hate Jughead too.  Jughead says in the musical, singing in the most obnoxious, unJughead preening way, that he’s going to be stuffing his face instead of going to Prom.  Then Julian as Archie bouncily invites him to prom (complete with titty slap).  Julian is SO CUTE. Why am I so into Julian? HELP ME.

He tells Kevin that they absolutely will not be producing the musical whatsoever.  “Original musicals are tough sells” and he’s worried that nobody will come for “Archie the Musical” but  Oklahoma will completely sell out. He has good taste, Featherhead.  Oklahoma is a gorgeous musical. 

Kevin is pissy as fuck when he comes to yell at his cast about not getting the musical that he wanted made. He’s so shit and I am enjoying his suffering.  He��s so stupid and untalented to the end - he says he is experiencing this failure because the others didn’t support him and his vision enough, and nitpicked his songs to death.  Actually no Kevin. Your songs are just shit, and your vision of other people are misogynist and reductive, plus you have absolutely no eye for performance talent.  You failed because you’re not talented enough, but sure have your violent temper tantrum.

After Kevin storms out, Clay explains to the cast that Kevin is upset about his parents getting a divorce. 

Kevin goes home and has some talk with his mom who says she loves him unconditionally and that the divorce between his parents is not his fault.  I wish I cared but I don’t. I am however annoyed that Kevin who so viciously hates women keeps having women be so kind and nice to him.

The next day, Archie approaches Kevin who is noodling around on the piano.  He thanks Kevin to thank him for forcing him to take a long hard look at himself, and says that it was useful.  Kevin says that he was practicing a song that he wrote.  I’m bracing for impact. 

It’s not horrible actually. It’s a bit confusing.  It starts out as diagetic - Kevin is playing the song with Archie.  Archie who can read music then sits next to him and reads along to the music on the page.  But then suddenly we shift into the Riverdale Musical Episode - this is not the in-universe Archie the Musical performances.  This is Betty the Riverdale Character singing the song that Kevin wrote back to him, so that he gets to have a consolation experience of directing his classmates in a song.   Betty is the first, the comes Veronica, then Choni, Clay, and then to my surprise, lots of unexpected couplings:

Midge and Fangs, singing a little duet portion and entering together are followed by Jughead and Ethel (ETHELHEAD! ETHELHEAD????)  singing as a duet who enter the music room together!    Reggie, Julian and Dilton are the next cluster.  Kevin starts weeping as all his classmates look fondly at him while they serenade him with his own song.  These are extremely kind people, to give Kevin this present though he has shown them that he thinks all of them are beneath him and was pretty shitty to them throughout the musical production process.  They even give him a group hug. 

Jughead is again the one that pops out. He’s sincerely singing this song to Kevin, along with everyone else, and his demeanor is full of sympathy.  He looks like a completely different person than the one maniacally, ragefully performing “Jughead as Written by the Misogynist Gay Duo” at the start of the show.

And may I just ask one question please - Why is Veronica able to forgive Kevin’s reductive view of all women and her in particular when she found it absolutely unacceptable in Jughead?  WHY?

Uhhh, can Julian please sing all the songs and dance every dance please from here on out?? 

I still hate Kevin, by the way, even though he’s in pain from his parents’ mysterious divorce.

And Julian Blossom singing Archie going Left/ Archie going right is A FUCKING EARWORM and it’s ringing in my head even now.

[thestaredown]

Jughead Jones and the Creation of the Multiverse

Or hey I can be meta too... ( Excerpt)

If the multiverse is Jugheads fault because he wrote it, then this is how it could have happened.

Want the idea without the story go here. Otherwise enjoy Jugheads misadventures in publishing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

This used to be a one-man operation.

It started innocently enough as many things do. He hit a rush of luck, got published young, had a runaway best seller with the notoriously harsh and scary devoted YA crowd. They were hooked…write a sequel they said, keep the momentum. You’re a cute kid who wrote an epic love story, they’ll eat up anything new from that universe.

Easier said than done.

One does not explain to a room of highly invested suits that your fictional story isn’t so much fictional as it is fictionalized and based on a true story; pretty sure those words are a one-way ticket to an endless parade of talk shows and uncomfortable fan interactions. No thanks.

Also, we did a ton of illegal shit.

Getting published was exciting and stressful, in a sleep deprived caffeine addled state some things fell through the cracks.

Turning nonfiction into a teen love story required some major changes. He may have had some fun with the place holder names while still drafting but he’s not mad that the Archie facsimile stayed Richard, an appropriately old school name shortened to Richie and if you're mad you can call him Dick...that one was perfect as is.

Admittedly it’s his fault they didn’t get replaced in the final edit, final approval was given while he was incredibly sleep deprived and though the names were picked out they were never replaced. He found out when Betty flipped through the very first copy and by then,  there was no going back.

Jug wasn’t the main character supposed to be named Charlotte? This still says Beth. Juggie you told Sweet Pea naming him Butter Cup was a joke…

Seeing Betty laugh at the final product with the barely veiled names was worth it though. Needless to say, Butter Cup was not amused.

What followed was a runaway best seller and more attention than he had ever wanted. When that happens people want more apparently. He’d been using his life as direct inspiration for years , his book held a fictional version of a very real love story, they wanted more and he had nothing.

Want to know what happens when your life is insane for years and you manage to leave your hellscape of a hometown?

 As it turns out… not a lot.

Enter writers block.

[avaganda]

From Monkees to Archies: A Musical Evolution and the Birth of Manufactured Bands

In the colorful landscape of pop culture, the 1960s witnessed a unique phenomenon – the rise of manufactured bands. Two notable examples of this trend were The Monkees and The Archies, both engineered by the same creative mind, Don Kirshner. Kirshner, a music impresario, found himself at the forefront of a musical revolution, inadvertently laying the groundwork for future acts like Milli Vanilli, C&C Music Factory, and even venturing into the holographic realm with ABBA.

The Monkees burst onto the scene in 1966 as a made-for-TV band, a concept that initially frustrated the members but ultimately shaped their careers. Kirshner, armed with a vision of creating a musical group that could dominate both the airwaves and television screens, handpicked Davy Jones, Micky Dolenz, Peter Tork, and Michael Nesmith to form The Monkees. However, this ambitious project soon ran into a creative clash as the band members yearned for artistic independence, desiring to control their own musical destiny.

Frustrated with The Monkees' rebellion, Kirshner took matters into his own hands and conjured up another groundbreaking concept – The Archies. Born from the pages of Archie Comics, this animated band was not bound by the limitations of reality. Kirshner cleverly used the characters from the comic strip as a blank canvas, allowing any talented singer and musician to step into the roles of Archie, Betty, Veronica, Jughead, and Reggie. This fictional band brought to life through animation paved the way for the concept of music as a versatile commodity.

Fast forward to the late 20th century, and the concept of manufactured bands took a different turn. Acts like Milli Vanilli and C&C Music Factory relied heavily on image and studio-produced music, with performers often lip-syncing to pre-recorded tracks. The emphasis shifted from the musicians' individual talents to a more visual and marketable package – a trend that echoed the early days of The Monkees.

In the 21st century, technology took center stage, and holographic performances became a reality. ABBA, the legendary Swedish pop group, embraced holograms to reunite on stage for their "ABBAtar" project. Fans were treated to a virtual concert experience that transcended time and space, showcasing the potential of artificial intelligence and advanced visual effects in the music industry.

As we reflect on the journey from The Monkees to The Archies and beyond, it becomes evident that the music industry's landscape has continuously evolved, adapting to new technologies and audience expectations. The notion of manufactured bands, once a controversial concept, has paved the way for diverse forms of musical expression, from animated characters to holographic performances, and even AI-generated music. The story of Don Kirshner, The Monkees, and The Archies serves as a testament to the ever-changing nature of the music business, where creativity and innovation walk hand in hand.

[fizzingwizard]

a brief complaint? observation? complervation? obserplaint

I don't watch Riverdale, but this is tumblr and it was impossible to not hear about the final season hijinks, namely the polycule. alright thats cool but i couldnt help side-eyeing how it's really the boys get to sleep with all the girls, and the girls get to sleep with each other as well as the boys... but the boys aren't physically interested in each other. recently i read a quote from one of the show creators where they said Archie/Jughead would have been "too hot" which, lol, but Betty/Veronica isn't?? but anyway was certainly a joke, as the rest was about not forcing something to happen for the sake of representation.

individually all of that is fine, and i hate to nitpick but... I can't help it. I really can't. You tick all the boxes, not for wonderful lgbtqia couples, but for a male fantasy: you can date more than one girl you find hot and they're also bi and into each other. Not part of the typical fantasy are having to share the girls with another guy, and not actually watching the girls at it yourself. But that doesn't matter, because the fantasy isn't for Archie and Jughead, it's for the viewers. Who get to see everything.

Just a few years ago we X-men fans were treated to the great Wolverine/Jean Grey/Cyclops threesome. This was the culmination of literally decades of pining, envy, and truly epic ship wars. At first I was like, wow, really?? Even Cyke and Wolvie getting it on with each other? But that wasn't it - all three of them weren't together - Cyke and Wolvie just each got a piece of Jean and had to live with each other also having a piece of her. It was the sharing of the woman in the relationship which was seen as so amazing and "progressive." My bf was like "lucky Jean!" Meanwhile my reaction was, holy shit, do not want.

If I really believed this threesome came about because it's what Jean wants, that'd be one thing - and yes I'm aware Jean is fictional and can want whatever the writers want. But not even superhero comics are written in a vacuum. All I could see in my head was the writers throwing Jean to the dogs like a piece of meat. "You both want her? You can both have her!" I didn't, and don't see how Jean mattered in any way except that both Scott and Logan want her. And tbh, if they had done the same thing, but also made Jean in love with Ororo, I would still feel the same way: that the Ororo bit was shoehorned in to make people like me whine less about the curious lack of balance here. Lucky Jean, indeed.

So there's two situations which are canonical in their respective universes. It's kind of stunning to me. We lept right past "gay male representation" to "male fantasy re-spun as gay representation." The guys get the girl. The girls make out with each other. The guys still get to be like "no homo, bro," somehow. And this is like, so progressive. What's progressive about it?? Men have been watching lesbian porn since forever. My brother once told me he didn't believe women who said they were bi were really bi because he assumed they were lying to impress men with their bi-ness. Then there's the "sharing with another man" thing which I guess is such an impressive feat. Isn't that just a form of voyeurism though. Don't lots of people get off just on knowing their partner is wanted by others? I'm not seeing the sexual liberation here. I just see girls being sexy in ways men have always wanted them to be, and the men just kinda existing.

Some people insist the greater acceptance of women-loving-women on screen means women in general have far more sexual freedom than men. But being free because people think you're non-sexual or that your sexuality is for them, thus controllable, isn't freedom. There's a reason people believe Queen Victoria thought it was impossible to be a lesbian. She didn't actually. But people were happy to think she did, because they secretly didn't understand how it was possible for two women who lack the right "equipment" lol. That was culture talking. Furthermore, half of what allowed women to sneak around having fun lesbian times with each other was homophobia itself. Because women (in our strict, transphobic gender binary definition) don't have dicks. In many societies around the world, it was historically okay for men to have sex with other men as long as they were the "penetrating" partner. The one in the "male" role. To be in the "female" role was degrading. (There were also class distinctions that determined which role someone would be, depending on the culture.)

It was about pride and dominance. (This stood out to me in the comments on the Archie polycule article: fans [whoops it was the writer of the article!] were worried about how Archie and Jughead's actors would have felt about having to do homosexual scenes with each other. But they didn't express any concern at all for the possibility that Betty and Veronica's actresses may have not liked it.) And for some reason, it still is today. You can have TV lesbians, not because you're so progressive and pro-women loving women, but because lesbians are hot. But TV gays are another matter. They're not hot, at least if what you're trying to construct isn't queer representation, but a male fantasy. It's embarrassing to admit you, a man, are attracted to your male friend, let alone that you have soft feelings toward him. Honestly, even the lesbian relationships are often reduced to their sexual aspect and free of any solid foundation for why these two women picked each other. Which, I mean, it's all good to have fun for fun's sake as long as everything is safe sane and consensual. But it is rather playing in to the stereotype that homosexuals are sex-obsessed, and will wind up in socially-acceptable, straight relationships when they decide they want to have families and contribute to society.

I realize I've only used two examples here, Riverdale and X-men. Which don't really have much in common (although also more than you might think, haha). One reason why I fixed on them is that they're both media with a history. They've been around forever. They have fans across ideological and political spectra. We've seen a lot more positive queer relationships in movies and TV over the past fifteen or twenty years, including gay male relationships, and that's awesome. But by and large it stayed away from the most popular characters in these long-lasting brands. Wolverine has an alternate universe self who is gay and in a relationship with Hercules. It is hairy and bold, I guess. But not as bold as Wolverine being gay. And I'm not saying he has to be. I agree that queer relationships shouldn't be forced. I am saying I think it's curious that Wolverine can't be gay, but he can be in a threesome where he and Scott both get what they want, Jean, and the male fans don't need to feel uncomfortable, and can tell their girlfriends that Jean is so lucky. And Riverdale, like I said I'm not a fan, I never watched it, but my impression is that it was pretty weird and strange in a lot of ways... weird and strange enough to let its female characters be in love with each other as well as the boys... but not weird enough for the boys to do the same? I do think that if these weren't media with such a long history, things would be different. But no one wanted to upset the "true fans." And what makes a true fan is not wanting male characters to be gay. Female characters, sure, that's hot! But if you're waggling your brow at the male ones you must be just into it for the hot guys and incapable of fully appreciating the series. Lol. Double standard what?

This is more or less my struggle with poly relationships in media. It's not that I don't think they should be there. I just think that all the ones I've seen have been cop-outs on the writer's part, either because they don't want to disappoint fans by picking one ship to be end game or because they want the media fuss a poly relationship will make. While, ultimately, the poly relationships in question are just the sort that anyone who's used the internet in the past two decades has seen in porn ads way more times than we wanted to. Where is the polycule where the guys are dating the girls, but also dating each other, and the girls aren't interested in each other sexually at all? I can tell you where to find it: fanfiction! On a popular TV show though? You know, a place where men are more likely to see it? Hmm. Maybe tomorrow...

[petalsmooth]

IF you are a Bughead fan, just take season 1 and consider that the beginning and end...using their alternate ending. If you like, take some isolated scenes you like beyond that and consider them as a flashforward treat the writers bestowed on you since the show was a one and done in a fictionalized head cannon. 

That’s the way I look at it.

Season 2 on isn’t worth holding onto because all eventually leads in a massive  retcon requiring re-evaluation of entire story arc to explain her cheating on him and fulfilling his worst fears. At least season 1 if you go by scene of her parents taking him in has Betty firmly committed to Jughead and ONLY Jughead.

WHY anyone would want THIS current Bughead version back together is beyond me. Betty is irredeemable and Jughead deserves better than Betty. Their reunion would be rather ugly to imagine given just how much growth Jughead would have to abandon and the betrayal he’d have to bury. Their story is forever tainted past season 2. This doesn’t even account how it would present Jughead to betray Tabitha. It would bring him down to Betty’s level and for what? A woman who considered him second best? If that? Not sure she even considered him that since she went on to have affairs with other people over the years rather than trying to get back with him. 

In reality Jughead deserves his happiness with Tabitha. They and Pops are the only ones who deserve happiness as an endgame. Everyone else deserves to live in perpetual hell since unrepentant of any harm they have caused others.

[maya-matlin]

Dumb question but your replies to asks are my favorites on this whole site, so I wanted to send an ask! Here it is: are there ships that you thought you'd love based on gifs but ended up not really liking once you saw them on tv or in youtube videos? For me one of them is Brulian. I kept hearing what an adorkable cutie Julian was and loved how happy Brooke looked in their gifsets but then when I actually saw them I just thought the chemistry was forced, Julian was a TOTALLY different character his first two seasons on the show and a lot less likable initially, and the acting and writing just didn't work for me? I expected them to be an otp but ended up meh at best on them! And I thought I'd ship Barchie because they're an iconic comic book couple, I'm much more of a Betty than Veronica personally lol, and their gifsets are gorgeous, but then when I watched the show I'm like, no, Varchie and Bughead are meant to be imo and Barchie doesn't do it for me at all. And one final example - Piper/Leo from Charmed. They're adorable in their gifsets, but it turns out the gifsets highlight literally the only times they're remotely happy?! Post-S1 Piper is perpetually angry, critical and miserable, she complains and snaps at everyone (especially Leo) every minute, Leo is so flat and personality-free, and their chemistry and connection are just lacking to me no matter how many times the show tells me their love is epic :) I can't wait to read your choices!

I don't think it's a dumb question! You're seriously sweet. <3 I feel like I'm really bad at replying to asks, so I'm glad you think that LOL

I think I might have to slightly alter this question to mean ships that I'd heard of, period, or had seen advertised and believed I'd end up shipping only to end up either disliking or feeling neutral towards. I only say that because for the past few years, I've really tried to keep an open mind when starting new shows so that I wouldn't go in with any preconceived ideas about what couples I'd root for.

Those are all interesting examples!

So when it comes to Brulian, I kind of agree. That being said, I did ship them the first time I watched season 6 and for the first half of season 7. But eventually, I was turned off by the Brooke/Julian/Alex arc. While I understand Brooke's LP trauma continuing to haunt her years later, it was just frustrating to watch it all play out again and for Brooke to devolve back into the most insecure version of herself. In some ways, I actually prefer Julian with Alex over Brooke. I still love the idea of them and think they had sweet moments, but their relationship never hit the same way Brucas did. It's an acceptable endgame for Brooke, but it will always kind of feel like second best. I'm sure that's an unpopular opinion, but oh well. I didn't force Chad and Sophia to have such strong chemistry or make the writers execute their seasons 2 and 3 arc so well.

Funny you should mention Barchie, because I had a similar experience in some ways. To be clear, I never read Archie Comics, but I vaguely knew some of the basics. The week Riverdale premiered, I'd been talking to a friend who rooted for BA in the comics and was excited to see Riverdale's take on their relationship. So, I watched the pilot episode to see what it was all about. I guess I shipped Betty and Archie then? But only in the sense that for the first couple of episodes, I was honestly cool with any outcome except Veronica/Jughead. That changed very, very quickly. Pre-Bughead, I was all about Beronica. Archie in contrast just wasn't as compelling to me and seemed to have a revolving door of love interests - something I'd heard was also somewhat the case in the comics. In the long run, BA became a good representation of everything I hate in a fictional couple. Their relationship is one of the laziest things I've ever seen. I truly mean that. Their fans did almost 100% of the work trying to piece that shit together because the writers were NOT writing a slow burn. The Riverdale writers seemed to deliberately avoid kicking off a story arc with any awareness of how it was going to end. The sad excuse for off screen, pre-series childhood anecdotes replacing any true development from episodes 103-416 didn't impress me. I hated watching Betty slowly sacrifice everything she wanted for her life just so she could conform into being Archie's ideal woman as he sacrificed absolutely nothing in return or ever once showed he had any true understanding of Betty. She needed extensive therapy, not the golden boy's dick. Anyways. Bughead forever, Varchie over BA because at least effort was put into that relationship.

As for Leo/Piper, you make some points, but I have to disagree. I can't help it. They were my favorite couple on Charmed. That being said, I acknowledge there was a lot of unnecessary angst, particularly during the later seasons. Leo's actor, Brian Krause, was also incredibly weak and nowhere near as talented as the women on the show.

Now, on to my answers. I already explained my history with BA, so I'll skip that one.

Bangel and Spuffy - Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I'd heard positive things about both couples, so I had no clue going in which I would end up shipping. As it turns out, the answer was neither. The Buffy/Angel arc was fine for a while, but at a certain point Angel was just kind of there. As much as I liked the guy, their romance was one of my least favorite aspects of the show. So it was a relief when he moved onto his own show, where his character improved tremendously. I also liked Angel better with Cordelia, so there's that. In the case of Spuffy, I'd heard about the slow burn and the enemies to lovers arc. So I was curious how all of that would happen. I didn't expect Spike to be such a creep towards Buffy. Season 6 wasn't great for them as it was, but the painfully long, attempted rape scene was the last straw. There was no overlooking that, yet season 7 basically had Buffy bending over backwards to defend Spike just because he had his soul back. That sucked. Out of the two love interests, Angel > Spike, always. But truthfully, the only Buffy ship I was ever passionate about was the potential one with Faith.

Jonah/Frankie - Degrassi Next Class: I don't know what I was expecting from these two. They seemed to have chemistry based on the promos Netflix and F2N released. I naively thought Winston had been such a dick that any guy would be an improvement over him. Jonah seemed like an overall decent guy in season 14 during his relationship with Becky, even if he was still haunted by some demons. Unfortunately, Next Class Jonah was a cold, judgmental, arrogant asshole. At least towards Frankie. The writers seemed to want an enemies to lovers situation, but mostly it just felt like Frankie being berated by her older boyfriend. She was an insecure mess with him, and he got away with emotional cheating.

EJ/Gina - HSMTMTS: Looking back at all the signs, it's very obvious Ricky and Gina were intended to end up together from very early on. But I was so certain that Ricky/Nini was the Disney ship that HAD to end up together, so I didn't think my ship stood an actual chance. EJ was transforming into a good guy and I wanted Gina to be happy, so I thought they'd be pretty good together. Sadly, they didn't have a single ounce of romantic chemistry. It was painful to watch. Gina's one episode almost romance with a guest star shined a light on what was lacking with EJ. Watching them fumble into their awkward romance was the worst. Which is a shame, because their platonic chemistry was pretty solid.

Duncan/Veronica - Veronica Mars: This was a VERY long time ago, and my reason was shallow: based on pictures, I thought Teddy Dunn (Duncan) was cuter than Jason Dohring (Logan). I knew nothing of their relationships with Veronica, just that Logan was more popular. I'm not particularly attracted to either guy physically now, but it's very obvious it's all about the charisma. Logan had it and was played by an extremely talented actor. Duncan didn't, and his actor was considerably weaker in comparison. Logan and Veronica demanded to be written together regardless of what Rob Thomas wanted. Duncan as a character was never able to keep up with Veronica and kind of like BA in some ways, it felt like a regression whenever Veronica was with Duncan.

Honestly, there needs to be a category for ships you initially liked solely because it was the only thing being offered at the time and less that the ship was anything special. Because I decided against including several ships for that reason LOL

[sunshine-seb]

Secret Santa

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, @omgbarbiegurl ! I have been your Secret Santa this december, I hope you have had a great month and that 2019 brings you joy and hapiness. I wrote you a Bughead Christmas one-shot, which you will find under the cut. Hope you like it! 

Silent Night

It’s quiet. Eerily quiet, dark except for the soft glistening from the christmas tree lights, and the low shine of the street lights outside. Betty moves on her tiptoes where she walks through the house, positioning christmas gifts, making footprints from santa with powdered sugar, changing the milk and cookies for empty dishes with crumbs on it. If it was any other night, she would have believed the silence, embraced it without complaint. The thing is, it is far from a normal night. It’s 2:33 AM, Christmas day and the reporter knows her children inside and out. While the baby might actually be peacefully asleep, nursed at Betty’s chest until she was deep under, their eight-, and six-year-olds are bound to be up to some sort of mischief.

When the living room is ready, the kettle is prepped and the pancake mix is whipped and placed in the refrigerator, she moves silently up the stairs again, avoiding the two steps that creaks and pausing at the top before heading to Hannah’s, their oldest, bedroom. Her little brother had been invited for a sleepover, causing both of the parents to blink in surprise. But, as promised, they’d curled up in their matching pajama sets, a bowl of popcorn between them, to watch christmas movies. Despite their usual tendency to fight every three seconds, they had managed to go all evening with nothing but laughter, before going silent.

Now, certain she will find two pairs of open eyes, Betty sneaks open the door. Instead of excuses or scrambling to get under the covers, there’s still only silence. Considering their house is never truly silent unless someone is up to something, it causes a shudder to run down her spine. She quickly settled in the mom role, despite having Hannah when she was barely 20 and Adam only two years later, which is evident in the way she now picks and tidies, tucks the kids in and turns the nightlight off. There will be enough dishes and cooking tomorrow, that she makes sure to properly deal with the sleepover ones before she finally gets to crawl down next to her husband. Jughead wraps an arm around her, burrowing sleepily into her neck, and she relaxes with a gentle sigh, to hopefully catch a few hours of sleep, before the kids awake to a day exhaustingly full.

It’s 5:49 when Isabella wakes, crying and screaming from her place in the cot. She’s only had time to spend three weeks in the world, so Betty is grateful when she sleeps more than two hours at a time. Knowing they are mere minutes from her older siblings waking up as well, she rolls over, but when she moves to place her feet on the floor the baby suddenly goes quiet. She whips her head around towards the crib, but finds her husband right there, a bottle in hand and the baby cradled against his chest, and gives a silent thank you to whatever gods gave them the idea to work shifts. Usually, this means she can go back to sleep. Jughead will feed and wash and dress all three, and she can get up in time for the school run. Today, however, she places her feet on the floor and tugs her pajamas on, seconds before two sets of feet are rushing down the corridor accompanied by screeching laughter. “Mama, daddy! Santa’s been here! Santa was here!”

She is exhausted, and part of her dreads having to cook all day, but there is no time or place where her children’s happiness will fail to make her smile. So she easily tugs Adam into her arms, ruffling Hannah’s hair, and gasps in surprise and excitement. “He has? Well, do you wanna go see if he dropped any gifts?” Her son squirms from her arms and she watches them run off, before kissing Jughead softly. “Good morning. I made tea.” Two simple sentences, yet it fills her with a newfound feeling of why she loves him so much, she tugs him back into another, deeper kiss.

By the time the parents make their way down the stairs into the living room, their two older children are already knee-deep in wrapping paper. They have tried not to spoil them, to only give them what they need and will actually use. Which is why one of their ten presents are from Betty and Jughead, one is from ‘Santa’ and eight are from their Aunt Veronica, off in a snowy cabin with Archie for the holidays, and unable to come for the dinner and celebration. The children whip out socks, stuffed animals, toys and candy. When Adam opens one of the gifts to find a drum set, Betty silently curses her best friends but keeps a smile on her face. The paper is thrown away, the gifts carried to their respective rooms, before they all sit down for breakfast. As usual, Adam doesn’t spill a single drop, while his big sister -  busy telling stories, turning around, and playing with her siblings - drops chocolate and jam and crumbs all over. Cleaning while the kids are around is like carrying water in a bowl with holes, which is why the ding from the doorbell is very welcomed. The older children run off and Jughead follows with the littlest one on his arm, greeting his sister at the door. The children squeal and throw themselves at Aunt Jellybean, who hugs and laughs and kisses them all over. Betty takes the opportunity to clean the kitchen, not wanting her mother to find anything to complain about. Jellybean calls out a greeting to her sister-in-law before she’s dragged up the stairs to see all the new gifts and the way they’d changed their rooms since last. When Jughead re-enters the room, Betty grins happily, and they take advantage of the moment alone with a deep and loving kiss, the baby content and cooing between them.

“Our parents will be here in two hours, with the twins. Polly still won’t come.”

The words cut through Betty’s heart but she nods faintly and braves a smile. If her sister doesn’t want to be a part of their celebrations, then she won’t force her. Instead she turns to set the table while Jughead helps, and their conversation is light and happy, avoiding the subjects that ruin the mood. They cook and reheat before calling everyone down for dinner. Jellybean is 23 and on break from her university studies, but she’s equally as excited to spend time with her nieces and nephew as when she was 15 and Hannah was newborn. She talks and plays with the older kids and happily takes the tiny one into her arms. It gives Jughead and Betty a chance to spend time with their family while still having their hands free to hold each other, and when Jellybean offers to take care of the dishes, Betty wonders if she might cry of joy. Instead she curls up on the couch to nurse Isabella, while Jughead steps up the stairs to dress the kids in appropriate celebration clothing. When the baby is happy and full, Betty changes her diaper and dresses her in white tights and a red, soft dress with long sleeves; an outfit identical to what her older sister and mother is wearing, the difference being that Hannah’s hair reaches her hips and Jellybean takes on the mission of braiding it in a crown around her head. Their brother and his father wears grey slacks and a white button-down, with a red blazer and grey bowtie. He is beaming with pride when they come down the stairs, happy to be like his dad, and Betty sniffles; but blames it on her hormones still being unsettled.

Everyone is dressed, the food is out, the rooms are clean; still, Betty goes stiff when the doorbell goes off for a second time, and Hannah runs to let her grandparents in. FP and Alice come bearing two 11-year-olds and two golden retrievers, much to the Cooper-Jones’ kids joy. Alice comes up to her daughter to wrap her in a tight embrace, before stealing her youngest grandchild and walking off, with a coo and a smile. Betty goes to greet the twins with a hug, knowing Polly’s growing disinterest in her family stretches to them as well, and that it’s been hitting them hard. The dogs are running around in excitement, barking and wagging tails, jumping up on the kids until Adam falls backwards and starts crying. FP calls an order for the dogs to calm down, and they go to curl up on the mat by the tree. Betty gathers their messy family around the table, fingers entwined with Jughead’s and they say grace before digging in.

The day drags on for long, full of food and gifts and laughter, shared anecdotes and affection. Jellybean tugs the kids in - the only one either of the four willingly heads to bed - and then bids goodnight herself. FP and Alice take the dogs for one last walk before they head to the second guest room, and Betty curls into Jughead’s chest. Once again it’s dark and silent, she’s properly spent, and there is nothing better than her husband’s warm embrace. He presses a kiss to her head and holds her tighter, a yawn parting his mouth, before he tugs the blanket around them, and Betty smiles contently.

“Merry Christmas, Juggie. And on to many more.”

[jhsharman]

The Great Indoors

You may think there aren't much changed here, but upon inspection -- I guess they threw Veronica an undershirt, and flattened her butt a bit (one less shiny ass gleam). A little weird they left the word "color" in "color tv" -- they frequently drop what has come to be a default setting so redundancy.

The thing I have learned since putting up this blog -- and keeping going longer than I thought I would -- is that that Riverdale show did some weird things to how Archie gets related online. Apparently they came to a conclusion that everyone needs to hook up with everyone else at some point, and there will be a fan base that develops particularly enthralled with each coupling. Slash fiction of a sort. So. Veronica and Jughead -- did they become an item on that show such that it leads to a scouring of the comics for accompanying images?

The concept of "Bughead" makes sense to me, and has its presence in the comic books. But then -- "Jeronica"? Well, I suppose the fun there may be plucking out the few stories where this apply -- when the generally adversarial relationship between the two characters -- and that is a fun theme -- turn somehow -- though, with some exceptions of plucking humor out of context and one sided fooling to get at the other one -- I see no romantic element in any of it. But. On that angle. You have this one, " The Survivors", which pits Jughead with Veronica against Archie and Betty. And Jughead teams up with Veronica to put Reggie in his place in "The Invisible Man" from 1962. 1993's "Escort Supreme. And -- well, unless I want to expand my parameters, or look deeper, I have just that short a list.

[iarasstuffss]

run

Everything was ready, the Andrew’s house backyard was beautifully decorated, filled with white and light pink flowers. The aisle was full of rose petals against the freshly green grass.

The guests would arrive soon, and the groom and his friends were getting ready at the house next door, like her mom suggested.

She was getting her last touches. Her make up was light and simple and her hair was styled on a low ponytail, her wedding day wasn’t the exception. Her dress was beautiful, long sleeved with white lace flowers on the top and a long white skirt, no veil.

She looked beautiful, everything was going as good as expected, her fiancé was her everything she had ever dreamed as a little girl and loved her.

But all she wanted to do was run.

coming soon (hopefully tomorrow before the episode)!

[shymeg]

The lights shine like a beacon

It takes place around season 1 of Riverdale; Jughead was never a part of the Serpents, but Betty did dump him via Archie. Can the lights and memory put them back together?

With the help of these two phrases. The lights! You look cold! Along with @cielo-e-voragine gif hope you don't mind me using it. It caught my eye.

The lights shine like a beacon

Jughead had just left the trailer. He enjoyed looking at the Christmas lights on the north side of town. He enjoyed walking thru Sunny Side trailer park and seeing if anybody attempted Christmas lights. They reminded him of hope, of better times.

As he was walking, he thought of Jellybean. How happy she'd get if he put a string of lights around their bedroom door. He'd take a few branches and attempt to glue them to a base to say they had their tree in their room—the safe tree with the yellow construction paper star. He missed her, especially at this time of year. They never had a lot of money, but that never stopped them.

He walked by the library, where they had white frosted windows. He remembered when he and Jelly would go in and read the stories and do the arts and crafts. They also gave you hot cocoa and cookies. Maybe he should volunteer there when he isn't working.

He reaches his destination, the park that's full of festive, colorful lights. He finds a bench and sits there. His shoes have holes, and he has no gloves. His jacket isn't warm, but that's all he has. So, he makes due. The trailer bills need to be paid. So paying the heating bill is more critical than new shoes (boots), gloves and a jacket.

He sees the reindeer with the red nose lights flicker every time his head moves. Like the lights follow his motion. The polar bear has pretty white lights. Jughead likes the prism icicle lights. He got so distracted by them he didn't realize tears were falling from his face. Until a light finger was on his skin, wiping one away.

"Jug" was so soft he hadn't seen Betty in a while. They were avoiding each other since she dumped him via Archie. He figured it best to give her that wish and stay out of her life.

He looked into her greenish-blue eyes, "yeah,"?

"Your nose is red, your hands are in your pockets"

Jughead was about to get defensive.

"I won't ask you why you were crying, but you look cold Jughead"

He laughed a quiet little laugh, "yeah"

Betty sat even closer put her arm around him, "Jug."

"I'm sorry Betty, I just wanted to see the lights, I love the lights"

He got up and walked away.

Betty was shocked. She figured his dad was doing god knows what, and Jughead was taking on the world by himself again. Betty realized what she had done too late. They were talking; she missed that. She embraced him; she couldn't just comfort him not anymore. She gave that right up. She broke up with him. The dumbest mistake, Betty wished she could take it back, explain it. Yet, he's been avoiding her and Archie. Betty can't blame him for that. She probably would too. He was never really friends with Kevin or Veronica. That left Ethel mainly. Good ole Ethel.

As Betty walked back home, she remembered what Jughead had said, "I'm sorry Betty, I just wanted to see the lights; I love the lights."

Why was he apologizing for that? She didn't own the lights. She held the moment, though. She was slowly trying to pry as to why he was crying, to putting her arm around him without thinking.

A memory came flashing like a light about to flicker out

Betty was 7, and Jughead had to be about 6 1/2. He was holding his sister's hand, who was probably three at the time. Betty was cold, shivering, hoping the red-haired boy next to Jughead would notice her. He was too busy eating a candy cane.

Jughead's blue eyes sparkled with the twinkling lights on the tree in the park; he said, "My name is Jughead, and this is my sister Jelly; Archie is my new friend, so Archie's dad invited us to come to see the lights."

He looked at her, shivering, "you look cold" before she could respond, he took off his jacket and put it on Betty, "use mine Jelly's got her snow outfit on so she won't need it, and well, I got my trusted old Beanie and my sweater" he smiled this toothy smile. She realized one of his front teeth was missing.

She giggled. The boy she didn't even know saw that she was cold. Her best friend couldn't care. Her best friend did realize that his friend was no longer wearing a coat. Her mother also noticed. Her mom said nothing until it was time to go home. She made sure he got it back. He just smiled that same toothy grin.

She found herself looking over at the sparkling town lights as she walked back home. Jughead was the one. Never Archie. She wanted it to be Archie for so long; she overlooked who it truly was, always coming to her aide and her defense.

She hurt him. What he said stayed in her mind, "I'm sorry Betty, I just wanted to see the lights, I love the lights"

the lights he went to every year. A lot of the time with his sister. His sister is not here. His mom just up and took her and left Jughead with his dad.

"I'm sorry, Betty, I just wanted to see the lights; I love the lights" oh, Jughead will be sorry for apologizing to see the lights when he will catch a cold. His jacket is not a winter jacket that will be Veronica's gift. He needs a new pair of shoes. Cheryl owes him, so that will be her gift. He needs a new pair of boots that can be Archie and Fred's gift. Ethel can buy him some nice gloves. Betty, well, she's just going to give him his Christmas lights.

It was Christmas Eve, and Betty found out from Ethel that Jughead would be working at the gas station. Betty didn't realize that he was working two jobs, volunteering at the library, the food shelf, and keeping his A average. She hoped he didn't give up writing his novel.

So Betty, Archie, Ethel, and Veronica go to the Jones trailer. She learned from her mom how Jughead and Jelly always made their tree in their room. Glady's told her Jug would work so hard on it. So, they put a little tree in Jug's room and strung some Jelly Beans and popcorn.

They also cut down a regular size Christmas tree and put it in the living room. They added popcorn, tinsel, multi-colored lights, Betty's gingerbread ornaments, and a handmade ice cream ornament. They also added hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza ornaments. Jug loved food. The tree was coming together nicely. They put all the gifts under the tree. She added a stocking and hung it up by his mini heater. They left. Veronica was ecstatic that he would love it; however, he should move in with her and her mom. He saved them from the evil clutches of her father. She remembered when Jug told her to talk to him. When he told her what he believed her father was doing, she didn't want to consider it. He was right, though, about all of it. He's back in jail, where he belongs. She and Jughead may not see eye to eye, but he's passionate, and when he cares for something, he fights for it.

The words still sting, "Sorry Betty, I just wanted to see the lights; I love the lights." he was cold. He was probably crying because he missed Jellybean. He probably had his memories. Instead of yelling at her, he gave up his lights and let her have them.

At first, Jughead thought his house was on Fire. It was lit up. He had no idea as to why and he thought maybe his dad was drunk and going to blow up the trailer. When he opened the door, nobody was there. Presents we're under the tree. Tears began to fall. He knew who cared enough to bring the lights to him. Yet, she didn't want him anymore. She didn't love him anymore. However, maybe they can be friends? He's unsure if he can, but he's willing to try.

It was Christmas day when she heard a faint knock on her door. She figured it might have been Kevin, maybe even Veronica, but she wasn't expecting him. She smiled. She was overwhelmed with happiness almost giddy.

She saw his feet shuffle clearly he hadn't opened the gifts yet, "I ah, I wanted to thank you!"

Usually, she'd tease and say for what, but she couldn't this time. Maybe she felt joking wasn't Christmassy. She nodded her head, "You're welcome"

He rubbed his neck, "why did you break into my house? I love the lights, Betty, I do but I don't like people just coming in"

Her face turned red. She was guilty of doing just that. With two people who had done it before, and even if they felt it was justified, it was still wrong. They couldn't lie and say F.P. did it, and Jug had removed the spare from the frog thanks to Archie. What hurt the most though, was he was calling her Betty not Bets. She missed how that rolled off his tongue.

Betty saw his conflicting emotions. She couldn't blame him. She couldn't. They did break-in. He did say thank you, and he did come over.

His blue eyes were smiling as a tear fell, "Anyway, I have a present for you too. I didn't open your gifts yet. I wanted to wait for my dad. We are supposed to have dinner. I called Jelly and told her what you all did but especially you. She said, 'I have a great friend.' I guess I do."

Betty heard the distress and the hope of his dad spending Christmas with him how he opened up just a little but not a lot. Let her in on a piece of his conversation with Jellybean, and those are always so important to him. She saw him take off his beanie and pull it down again. Betty knew Jughead only did this when he was genuinely nervous.

"Maybe we can still be friends. Archie said to stay away but after what you did Betty it's kind of hard to want to just act like nothing happened you gave me my Christmas lights! You gave me a lovely memory back so thank you."

It was subtle. It was quaint what he had said. Almost like he didn't deserve the gifts, the gratitude, and why had Archie told him to stay away? My God! She thought he did love her. He loved her enough to grant her what she had needed at his own expense. Now she got why Ethel was so hesitant she didn't want Jug to hurt anymore. Good ole Ethel.

She moved in close to the cagey Jug, "Jug, what I did was incredibly stupid. I was trying to protect you, but in the end, I ended up hurting us both. "

She looked into his crystal blue eyes, dancing to meet hers, "I love you, Jughead Jones, and I was stupid, and I thought you wouldn't give me another chance, but you are the beacon guiding me to the light. I need you in my life Jug, I'd rather it be more than friends, but if that's all I get. I'll take it."

Next thing she knows, his thumb is on her lip, his hand is holding her face, and they are kissing a slow, loving kiss. She missed these.

He looks at her as he lets her go, "Okay, Betts. Okay, but let's go slow."

She had the biggest grin, "I can be gone for an hour. Do you want to get hot cocoa and look at the Christmas lights with me?"

He nodded, "I would love that, Betts."

She put the present he gave her into her room as she grabbed her jacket. She would not scold him for not wearing his gifts, but tomorrow if he's not wearing them, he'll get an ear full. Until she remembered we are going slow, he needs that, and I can't blame him. At least he is mine again. She thinks as she runs down the stairs.

Later that night as Jughead opened his gifts alone because his dad was passed out drunk. He saw two gifts one from Cheryl, he opened it, "I already got you a present hobo but, in case you need something besides Betty's gift to write your stories and plus mine you can do homework on unlike my cousin's. Merry Christmas Hobo. It was a brand new Apple computer with all the functions. Maybe she did approve of him writing about her brother after all.

He sent her a text thanking her for the computer and the shoes.

He opened up Betty's. It was a box. Inside it was a typewriter, "be the light Jug always keep writing," he cried tears of joy. He always wanted a typewriter-like they had in the black and white movies.

Betty was up in her room alone when she opened Jughead's gift.

"Thank you for showing me the lights." Inside was the book Beloved signed. Oh Jughead, how did you know? Of course, he would. To think she was going to let her stubborn pride let him go. She smiled and said, "whichever Christmas spirit brought me over to Jughead Jones on the bench, thank you. I will not regret this Christmas wish."

The next day they met up at Pop's for candy cane milkshakes and to talk about the two greatest gifts they could have received that year. The best ending to an ending that almost never was.

[saturninesunshine]

“Veronica's having a party."

Archie and Jughead were eating burgers at Pop's when the news broke. The diner was lousy with second semester seniors, so close to graduation they barely made it to class anymore. This news wasn't exactly groundbreaking. Veronica wasn't a stranger to parties. But if Archie Andrews got a lead on a party at Veronica's penthouse, there was no way in hell he was missing it.

Jughead took a bite out of his burger. "I'm not sure I'm the desired clientele."

“You're not clientele, dude," Archie insisted. "It's senior year and Veronica is having a grad party."

There was only one thing that would get Jughead to a party. And Archie knew it.

"Not my scene," Jughead insisted.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Reggie. Chuck. Cheryl." Jughead listed off all the people that despised him. "Do I have to spell it out for you? Besides. Veronica isn't my biggest fan either."

"But you know who her best friend is?"

Don't say it.

"Betty."

a Superbad AU

[sunshinebunnie]

Game Night (A Riverdale Bingo prompt fill)

Betty and Jughead are college TAs who’ve been running into each other around campus all semester. When Betty’s best friend, Veronica, winds up hosting a “90s Teen Movie”-themed costume party (complete with party games), Betty and Jughead had a short window of time to act on their mutual attraction.

@riverdalebingo​ Rating: E - Pairing: Bughead - Word Count: 3554 - Face sitting

Curious for some slow burn(ish) PWMP AU Bughead? Find your way over to AO3 right HERE.

[simon-eriksson]

Gifsets of Fanfics I love (14/?): When you’re young, you run by @iconic-ponytail

Betty had decided to move on. To become her best self. To do all the trite shit you’re supposed to do when you go to college.

She falls onto the bed next to Veronica. “It’s been four years. I can’t really expect anything from him. I just hope we can be close, like we used to be.”

Betty can hear the smirk on Veronica’s face as she responds. “Betty, ‘Close like we used to be’ is the biggest euphemism I’ve ever heard. ‘Friends’ is the worst descriptor that you, one of the budding editorial forces of American journalism, could possibly use in this situation.”

Or, after four years, Jughead is moving to New York.

[classybetts]

Arranged

Chapter 19