#bff harry styles

[moonchildstyles]

pleasing

y/n is harry's best friend and she'd never received a valentine's present like this one before.

wordcount: 9.5k+

—————

Just as she finished patting in her skincare for the night, (Y/N)'s phone vibrated for where she had it plugged in, in her bedroom. There was only one person that would be calling her this late at night. 

Dismissing the products she had scattered on her bathroom counter, she rushed back into her room. Upon the screen was a blurry, distorted picture of her best friend with his hair on top of his head in different spikes, thanks for a heaping of sticky hair gel and free time during a snowstorm. His name was plastered across the top, the peapod emoji right next to it. She didn't hesitate before she answered the call. 

"Harry?" she sang after pressing her phone to her ear.

"Hey, are you busy?" 

"I'm just getting ready for bed. Why?" 

"Can I FaceTime you?" 

She barely had time to give a yes before the call switched to a FaceTime in her hand, her screen lighting up a beat later. In front of her was the top half of his face, revealing only his eyes and up. His hair was pulled back with a claw clip, the angle showing off the length of his lashes and the furrow of his brow. 

(Y/N) could see herself in the small box in the corner of the screen, showing off a rather similar angle to what he was giving, though she thought hers was much less flattering somehow. 

"Hello?" 

The furrow in her best friend's brow decreased at the sound of her voice, giving away the smile that was spreading across his lips even if she couldn't see it on screen. 

"Can y'see me?" he asked, his voice sounding muffled and far away. 

"Yes, but I can barely hear you. Are you covering your speakers?" 

Her world went askew as Harry shuffled his phone in his hand, his mouth set in a comical frown for a glimpse before he righted his grip and was back with the half view of his face. "Sorry, can y'hear me now?" 

She hummed a confirmation, smiling to the camera. "What did you want to show me?" 

Harry's cheeks lifted, giving away the hint of a dimple in the corner of the frame. "I have new samples." 

A gasp fell from (Y/N) lips, excitement filling her. "For the collection?! Or different ones?" 

"For the collection." 

Her excitement only rose at the new information. "Let me see!" she bubbled, eagerly curling up on her bed, ready to spend the next hour poring over the new development with Harry.

After a small struggle and a lagging view of Harry's face, the camera suddenly turned to show a view of prototype nail polish bottles and first prints of shimmery nail stickers laid out on his black bedding. 

Even in the low light of his room, (Y/N) could see flecks of glitter in a few of the polishes, the stickers glimmering in the shapes of hearts and flowers. The colors themselves ranged from quiet pastels to vivid brights, some left creamy, others containing barely-there shimmers, and the remainders boasting chunky bright glitters. The collection was large, containing two sets of polishes: one set was full of delicate pastels ranging in the pink family, with the other championing rich, clinging colors. The first iterations of the polish packaging came with the iconic spheres on the tops of the bottles, though this collection featured watercolor petals draped over the shape, leaving the illusion of flowers encased in the bottle all in the same color as the polish inside. 

"What do you think?" 

(Y/N) was sure he could see the wide set to her eyes, the way she was practically fawning over them already. "H, I love it! This is for the Valentine's collection, right?" 

"Something like that, yeah," he answered, his smile evident in his voice, "I figured y'liked the pink ones." 

"I do," she chirped, bringing her phone closer as if she could gain a clearer look of each shade that way. "Put your phone closer, I want to see the colors and the stickers better." 

Harry did just that without hesitation, bringing his phone to his bed, though he went a step further and picked up the stickers to show off in front of the camera. 

Gasping, (Y/N)'s brows bounced over her eyes when she took in the sticker sheet. 

"Harry." 

"What?" 

"Are those bows?!" 

He only laughed.

—————

"Goodnight, (Y/N). I'll talk to you tomorrow." 

"Talk to you tomorrow, H," (Y/N) yawned, unabashedly showing off a downturned angle of the moment while Harry watched on. "Let me know if you want to get dinner later this week. Love you." 

His heart squeezed in his chest at her casual declaration. "Love you, too." 

With that, the video of her sleepy face disappeared, showing only the simple photo he had saved to his lockscreen. Harry's gaze lingered on the empty space for a heartbeat, just a split second away from calling her back despite the late hour and the fact she'd been half asleep before he'd suggested she head to bed. He forced himself to lock his phone and set it on his bedside table, keeping it out of sight and hopefully out of mind. 

Still spread out on his bed, where he had sprawled out his limbs and grew comfortable amongst the bedding, were the new Pleasing products he had been so eager to show off. Everything was still in the test package, nothing completely finalized or one hundred percent polished just yet, but he'd been too excited. He'd shared the concept with (Y/N) ages ago, right after he'd made it out of a meeting with Harry Lambert and Molly, unable to keep the secret under wraps—especially when he found his own inspiration for the collection. 

(Y/N). 

It had been Molly's idea to unveil a Valentine's themed collection after the small set of apparel that would be released around his birthday, hoping to tap into another facet of him that was so beloved to the public. She had in mind something that would commemorate the love songs he was so famous for; the kind of sweetheart, love-sick energy that he often utilized to make his most memorable lyrics and showcased on stage.

As she had gone on, sharing what kind of feeling she wanted to invoke for the season's rollout, Harry was only thinking of his own inspiration. 

It was the same thing that inspired his music, his attitude, his want to improve and be more and more than he started as. 

His best friend. 

He saw his own idea for the collection coming in flashes of her favorite colors, the shade of the dress she wore to his birthday party, the hue of her eyes, the colors that falling in love with her made him see in the world. He could see her with her fingernails proudly painted in his brand, the way she always did when Pleasing made something new just so she could support him. There were already prototypes of new apparel, manicure stickers, and campaign designs forming in his head. 

Harry had come away from that meeting with plenty of ideas to think on, and lyrics forming that he hoped he wouldn't forget before he had a chance to write them down. 

Months later, he had enough ideas for more than one micro-collection. Each one had been passed by Molly and Harry Lambert—both being excited and surprised that there was so much to be used and saved for later collections—leaving with a duo of aesthetics they planned on basing the campaign around. 

That was what he had shown (Y/N) tonight, and was now spread across his bedspread as he tried to calm down his winding heart after their late night call. He kept seeing her face when she spotted the romantic set that was directly inspired by her, the way her eyes lit up when she took in the shades of pink and the shimmery accents. That had been the kind of reaction he had been hoping for when he received the initial samples. 

Collecting each piece, he took his time pulling each bottle, rolling them in his hands with bubbles floating through the polish. He wondered if (Y/N) would catch the connections when he revealed the names to her. He wondered if she would know that he named this shimmery soft pink Woman with her in mind, including inspiration from a song he penned that now was soaked in her memory. The buttery yellow with golden reflects dubbed Home, would she know that was based on the golden dress she wore the first time she saw him on tour? The rich, creamy red he'd called Feast, he hoped she'd see the lipstick she wore the first time they met in the shade. 

He lingered over the bottles, all eight shades invoking a specific memory that went into the creation. Carefully replacing them in the drawer with the rest of his Pleasing pieces, ensuring nothing clinked together too hard with the sticker bundle staying together, he allowed himself a moment with the full collection under the bright light of his bathroom. It was near perfect, seeing it all together. All that was left to sample was the apparel that had been drafted up a few weeks prior with Harry Lambert's guidance, and the extra accessories they were debating on adding in the collection.

He had a feeling (Y/N) would fight to take the samples from him. The idea had a small smile spreading on his lips by the time he was flicking his bathroom light off and padding back to his room. 

By the time Harry bundled himself in his bedding, his phone settled away in his bedside table, he shuttered his eyes though he could still see the ghost of (Y/N)'s excited face on the inside of his eyelids. Just as much as he hoped she would notice the names of the polishes, catch the fact that the stickers were an ode to her, the apparel made with her form in mind, scents formulated to sweep over her skin, he feared she wouldn't notice in the same way she'd never noticed him in the way he wanted. 

Did she remember the yellow dress she wore to the first live show she could make it to? (Y/N) barely ever wore lipstick these days, did she even have that tube of red anymore? Did she ever listen to Woman and hear the words he was too scared to say to her every time she introduced him to a new boyfriend?

The idea needled at the center of his chest just as it always had when he was reminded that he was years into an infatuation that had no sign of ending either from sweet reciprocation or his heart moving on.

Nonetheless, he thought, grasping at positivity as always, he was going to revel in the reactions she gave him as if it were for himself. Those delicate compliments and the joyous excitement, he would hold tight as if they were for who he was and not something that he made. 

And, probably try to convince her to be a part of the product shoot. 

—————

 ��    i'm here !! 🍣🍣

(Y/N) pocketed her phone as she approached the small gate surrounding Harry's home, the concrete divider and plethora of greenery giving privacy to the space. The bag of takeaway sushi hung at her side, the hood of her coat lifted over her head in case there was anyone around hoping to spot a glimpse of Harry's personal life and spin whatever tale. 

She didn't have to check if her text went through, having to wait only a moment before she heard him make his way from his front door and going through the protective greenery. "(Y/N)," he sang through the trees, the syllables of her name sifting through the plants. 

"Harry," she reciprocated, a smile spreading across her lips at the familiar greeting. 

Swinging open the gate, Harry welcomed her in with his hair held back in a familiar flower clip and dimples thumbed into his cheeks. She quickly stepped over the threshold, heading towards his porch while he locked the gate behind her. Only a beat after the click of the lock sounded, he fell into step beside her, hooking an arm around her shoulders. 

"Hi," he smiled, dimples clear on his cheeks as he gazed down at her. 

"Hi," she answered, her own features curling and softening. Feeling his eyes on her face, she took on the responsibility of guiding them towards the front door without stumbling through his garden. "Sorry I'm late. The sushi place was packed for some reason today." 

"Yeah?" he sounded, voice decidedly softer than just a beat before, "'M sorry. I would have gone if I'd known it would be that busy." 

"It's alright," she told him, leading them through his front door to which he dropped his arm from around her to instead shut and lock the door, "I just figured it wouldn't be so bad since they just opened, but everyone else probably had the same idea."

Placing the takeaway bag on the coffee table, (Y/N) shed her jacket and the knitted beanie covering her head. She had another question on her lips as she turned to face Harry once more, though that line died once she took in his outfit for the day. 

"What are you wearing?" 

A small smile spread over his lips at her words though he didn't offer his own response. 

His legs were covered in athletic joggers, the same heather green ones he always seems to be wearing lately, but that wasn't what caught her attention. Draped over his torso was a delicately pink crewneck, thick and warm, with Pleasing scripted across the center of the chest in a mauve shimmer. 

"That's new, isn't it?" she prodded, stepping towards him with her eyes on the shimmering puff print on the crewneck. He had mentioned something about adding apparel to the polish collection she'd been shown last week, but he didn't offer any specific details. 

"Maybe," he teased, "Do you like it?" 

Reaching his arms out, he let her see the full piece, including the glittery stitching that ran through the garment and drew her eyes along his form. She stepped towards him, running a finger along the seam at the cuff of the sleeve. 

"I love it," she smiled, "I didn't know you were making these." 

"I know—I wanted it to be a surprise," he told her, his arm flexing under her fingertip before dropping back to his side with his hands sliding into his pockets, "I know you've been wanting a pink one since the first set came out, so I thought it was finally time." 

"For Valentine's Day?" she bubbled, thinking back to the samples he'd shown off to her the week before. 

Something flashed over his eyes as they dropped from hers, taking in the rest of her features. "Something like that, yeah." 

"Do you have any more?" Before he even answered, she couldn't help herself but to start edging towards the stairs bordering the wall behind her. 

A plume of laughter fell from Harry's lips, catching her with his palm landing on her arms before she could scurry away. "No," he drawled as he pulled her back towards him, "But, you can have this one if y'want." 

"Are you sure?" she asked, eyes wide as she fixed her gaze on him, hands on his chest over the puff print of the lettering. "I don't want to take it if this is the only one you're testing right now." 

Harry shrugged her off, his hands on her arms sliding down in a lingering drag before they finally fell back to his sides. "'S alright. No one knows yet, anyway." 

Tucking her bottom lip between her teeth, (Y/N) dropped her gaze from his to peruse over the glimmering neckline of the crewneck. "I don't want you to get it in trouble, though, if you give it away." 

He scrunched his features, shaking his head as if what she said was completely incredulous. "(Y/N), I made it for you." 

His words were cemented as he began pulling the piece off completely, leaving him in only the vintage shirt he'd had on underneath, the print faded and unfamiliar. He shoved the garment in her arms, a waft of his scent enveloping her. 

(Y/N) hesitated for long enough that Harry had to have noticed, prompting him to set a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Really, lovie. 'S alright. I don't want y'to have to wait to get your own." 

Relenting, she fell into his chest, Harry wrapping his arms around her with a laugh rumbling his chest under her cheek. "Thanks, H. I promise I won't wear it out or anything until you announce it, though." 

She could feel him smile when he buried his nose into her hair, his arms pulsing around her a snug embrace. 

For a brief moment, (Y/N) let her eyes close as she sunk into his arms. The fragrance of his washing detergent and the lingering scent of his cologne that had sunk into every fiber of his home washed over her. There were times she could see her friendship with Harry moving into territory she'd been too fearful to even explore in her imagination, but feeling his embrace and the words I made it for you ringing in her ears, she could be coaxed to imagine a lot of things with him.

Before she could run too far away in her head, she drew away with a bright smile, hoping he didn't catch the warmth under her skin. 

"We need to eat before our soup gets cold," she told him, stepping towards the couch with her new crewneck in her arms. 

Harry followed after her, becoming a warm shadow as he took his seat next to her. It wasn't until all of the containers were distributed out from the bag, and (Y/N)'s new sweatshirt was folded carefully at her side that he peeked at her from where he was stirring his miso soup. 

"I do have one condition with the crewneck," he murmured, taking a spoonful of tofu and seaweed. (Y/N), her own mouth full with a wonton, raised her brow in response. Taking his time to swallow, his words hanging in the air for a beat, Harry finally followed up with, "We might need an extra model for the Valentine's campaign."

"Okay," (Y/N) mumbled, a furrow pinching at her brows. "Do you need me to ask someone? I think I still have a couple of numbers of some of the people from your music videos if you want me to reach out." 

A sheepish smile touched at the corners of Harry's lips. "No, I mean... Would you want to be a model? The shoots in a few weeks, so." 

Pushing her chopsticks against the wontons floating in her soup, (Y/N) wasn't sure how to respond. "H, you know I'm not a model or anything—like, you remember that, right?" 

He laughed at her remark. "Yes, I remember. This one's going to be really special, though, and a lot of fun. I want you to be in it—if you're comfortable." 

She mulled over his words, rolling the short I want you around her head. "And this is a condition of taking the crewneck home with me today?" 

A single dimple touched his cheek. "Something like that," he tilted his head, stirring his miso soup into a slow vortex, "I am doing you a favor, aren't I?" 

She nudged his shoulder with her own, rolling her eyes. "You said it was made for me, how is it a favor to give it to me?" she teased, only shaking her head when he laughed at her. 

A beat passed before Harry returned his eyes to her, his features softened and warm. "Really, it would mean a lot to me if y'were a part of this shoot. At least think about it?" 

"I can do that," she compromised, seeing her best friend in front of her even if his words touched a separate part of her shoved into a box in the back of her mind, "I'll think about it, and let you know." 

It was the way that his smile bloomed across his features, something bright unfurling in his eyes that (Y/N) was sure she already had her decision pocketed away. 

—————

As Molly stood in front of the slew of models and talent sitting in wait for the day, Harry stood behind her as if to read the agenda in her hands even if all he really did was sweep his eyes towards (Y/N) standing at the end of the line. 

"First up is the pink side of the campaign," Molly read off, presenting the information with a smile while others ran around behind her setting up for the double shoot that would be happening, "Nail techs will be coming around to make sure everyone has something on their nails—remember which group you're in so we get the correct colors on your nails. Hair and makeup will follow afterwards..." 

There was more Molly was saying, the outline of the day being extra exhausting given there were two different aesthetics being achieved today, but Harry was much more focused on the extra model at the shoot. 

Truly, he hadn't thought (Y/N) would accept. He knew it was much for her to be in front of a camera like this, seeing as his own need for privacy definitely had rubbed off on her, so he hadn't been surprised that she had lagged on her response for a week. It was when she had called asking about details of the shoot, wanting to know about the times and location, and just how long they would be needed on set, all followed up with a chirped I'll be there! that had surprised him. It wasn't until that call that he planned on being on set all day, having previously only meant to pop by for a few hours before leaving everyone to get the real work done without him being in the way. That was how he ended up here right at eight a.m., hair back in a pink flower clip (another accessory for the collection), and his eyes searching for (Y/N). 

"Okay, everyone go pick a station and someone from hair and makeup will come help as soon as they can!" Molly dismissed everyone with a smile before turning on her heel and looking around for Harry Lambert. 

Harry stood back with the sets coming together behind him as he watched the line of models scatter towards the lit up tables. There was only one that strayed behind, hands in a bundle at her waist with her wide eyes immediately fixing to him. He didn't hesitate before he stepped towards (Y/N), reaching out to her until his arm was slung over her shoulders. 

"Y'alright?" he murmured to her, voice low compared to the bustle happening around the set. 

"Yeah," she sighed, scanning her gaze along for the last open station, "It's just weird being on set like this when I'm not just here to watch. I don't want to mess anything up." 

He shrugged his shoulders, his arm scrunching around her as he tipped his head. "You're probably going to, but 'm sure Molly or someone will be able to fix it." 

It wasn't until she looked up at him with her mouth a gape and an accusatory light in her eyes that he broke with his laughter. His shrug became a comforting hug as he held her to his side. "'M kidding, lovie. You're going to be jus' fine—we're gonna take care of you, don't worry." 

Harry pulled out the chair to the vanity for her, catching her reflection in the mirror. There was a part of him that, while he watched her, wanted to grab a camera and get his own shots for the campaign. There was nothing more romantic—in the Valentine's spirit—than the quiet moments with a partner; the moments that made it clear they were a team.

He was tugged out of his head when he heard her speak up. "Are you going to be hanging around for the shoot today then? Or are you going home soon?" 

"I'll be here all day," he decided then, setting his hands on the back of her chair as they met eyes in the mirror.

Her gaze brightened, seemingly reflecting back the lights ringing the mirror. "Are you going to be in any of the pictures?" 

It was the bubbling of her voice, the way she beamed at him that had his own lips curling into a small smile. "Maybe." 

It wouldn't be hard to convince his team to let him sneak in a couple of shots. His nails were already done up anyway. 

Before (Y/N) could say much more, one of the three nail techs flittered to her station. Familiar bottles of polish were tucked away in her apron, the pink bottles being placed out on the vanity as she offered (Y/N) a bright smile. 

"Hi," she greeted, eyes landing on Harry for a split second before bouncing away just as quickly. "I'm Mari, I'll be doing your nails this morning. How are you?" 

"I'm (Y/N). I'm doing good, thank you," she chirped, her voice decidedly higher and sweeter than when she had been speaking with Harry a moment before. He nudged her shoulder just a bit, a silent tease. "How are you?" 

"I'm doing well, thank you for asking," Mari said, carefully looking at Harry through the fan of her lashes, "And you, Mr. Styles?" 

"I'm good, thank you," he offered, his voice low with a pleasant smile given to Mari. He could spot the small ticks that gave away just how aware she was of him, he didn't want to make her any more nervous. "I appreciate your help today, Mari. I've seen some of your work, and 'm really excited to see what you can do for us." 

Mari's tan cheeks heated with a small blush bubbling underneath, faint under her skin. "Of course. Thank you for the opportunity—really." 

Harry's smile only spread wider when he felt (Y/N) nudge against his hand, her own quiet tease over his dazzling interaction. 

Before she could fluster much more, with all of her supplies spread out on the vanity table, Mari concentrated on (Y/N) once more. "Do you remember which group you were in today, (Y/N)?" 

"I'm actually in both groups today, but I think I'm a part of the pink shoot first," (Y/N) smiled, tilting her chin upwards to peek at Harry upside down, "Right?" 

"Right," Harry affirmed. It was a lot he was putting on her plate, being in both sides of the campaign, he knew that. But, just as he had told her when he laid out the details, it meant a lot to him to see her in both aesthetics. She was the face of the collection in his mind, he couldn't imagine her not pictured in every iteration.

"Long day," Mari muttered, her features school back into a pleasant expression. She plucked her fingers through the bottles, skating over the set of pink varnishes first. "Do you have a preference for what color we use today?" 

At this, (Y/N) looked to Harry once more. "Do you? I'm okay with any of them, but is there something you want me to have for the pictures, or anything?" 

Instinctively, Harry looked to the creamy baby pink shade embedded with opal flecks. He nodded towards the bottle, "That one if that's alright."

"This one?" Mari clarified, picking up the bottle he had in mind.

"Yes, please," Harry smiled, looking towards (Y/N) with his raised brows to which she gave him a small giddy nod. "And some of the stickers if y'have them." 

A quiet gasp left (Y/N)'s lips. He knew she would like that detail. 

"Sounds perfect," Mari bleated, asking for one of (Y/N)'s hands before she started prepping for the manicure. 

With her on hand free, (Y/N) reached for the opal polish to be painted over her fingers. "Do you mind if I look?" 

"Go for it," Mari smiled, concentrating on the alcohol wipe she was swiping over (Y/N)'s nail beds. 

Rolling the bottle around her hand, (Y/N) smiled up at Harry. "Is this the final bottle?" 

"Mhm," he hummed, a sense of pride touching at the center of his chest, "We changed a couple of things from when I last showed you, but this is it." 

He watched her admire the polish, tipping the bottle to and fro as she watched the color inside bubble and shift. The glitters shown in the light, going undetected until catching a ray and sparkling a vivid pink. When he saw her tilt the bottle to catch the name stickered to the bottom, he couldn't help the pulse his hands gave to the back of her chair. 

Would she notice? Was the connecting line thick enough to spot? 

Labeled on the bottom of the bottle was the word lovie printed in white ink on the black sticker. 

"Hey," (Y/N) called, her voice lilting, "That's me!" 

She pulled the bottle towards him, showing off the proof with a warming smile on her lips. 

His lungs squeezed even as he tried to play it off, squinting at the bottle as if reading it for the first time. "It is, isn't it?" 

"Did you do that on purpose?" she asked, alternating her hands once Mari gave a small tap to her wrist. 

"Maybe," he murmured. Did he sound as breathless as he felt?

(Y/N)'s mouth pulled into a bubbly smile—just as bright and attention grabbing as the first time he met her. "Harry," she crooned his name, the syllables cradled on her tongue, "I didn't know you did that. It's so sweet." 

There was a moment where he wondered if this was the moment. Was this the moment to share that of course he would name one of these shades after her, as this whole thing was an ode to his feelings for her. Was this warehouse being used as their set the perfect place to tell her what every single shade meant to him and how it was tied to her? It wouldn't be so bad, he thought. 

Instead, Harry only bashfully shrugged, tipping his shy smile towards his feet. "'M happy y'like it." 

Settling her hands for Mari to begin painting, (Y/N) still kept her attention tipped towards Harry. "Is that why you wanted me to be in the shoot?" she asked, leaning towards where he was still stationed behind her chair, "So, there's, like, platonic love in there too for Valentine's?" 

Harry's lungs squeezed for a different reason this time. Platonic love between friends. That's why he named a polish after her in his most romantic collection to date. 

"Something like that," he settled on, hoping she didn't catch the way his smile fell just a hair. 

Though (Y/N) parted her lips to offer a response, she was cut off before she could take a breath. Harry Lambert was fluttering by the stations, keeping an eye on every model readying for the campaign before he met Harry. 

"Sue, would you help me bring in all the clothing, please?" he asked, a tenor of stress entering his voice. 

Breaking away from (Y/N)'s chair, Harry didn't hesitate before nodding his head. "Course. Where do y'need me?" 

Vaguely, Harry Lambert pointed towards the set pieces before he shook his head. "Just follow me." 

Absently, Harry tossed over his shoulder to (Y/N), "I'll be right back, lovie." 

When he heard a small okay peep from her, he looked towards her only to see her already blinking at him with admiration in her eyes. No wonder he felt so warm.

—————

Harry was sure his dimples were deep in his cheeks as he leaned over Molly's shoulder, looking at the photos popping up on the computer screen as every shot was uploaded. Unsurprisingly, his favorites were of (Y/N).

Her makeup and hair was done minimally in true Pleasing style, leaving everything sheer and pastel. Her nails were glimmering in the light, dreamy filters to be added to the shots that would accentuate the glitter in the varnish. She looked entirely too cozy in the large pink crewneck clad on her torso and the comfy lounge shorts hugging her hips. Though there was still a stiffness as she transitioned between poses, as if waiting for someone to yell at her to fix her stance, he could see her growing more and more comfortable among the set. She made friends with a few of the other models, making it much easier for her to fit into those group shots and allow her laughter to filter through the room. 

It made him feel an undeniable hint of pride seeing her grow so comfortable in front of the camera. He knew she never much preferred being in front of the camera like this, so every small breath of progress she made had his heart glowing for her. 

Watching every shot come in over Molly's shoulder, Harry was almost disappointed when the photographer called for a cut; the lighting needed to be adjusted apparently with extra props being brought in before the focus would shift to the colorful end of the campaign. He stepped back, giving however many assistants were helping out all the space they needed to take care of every minute change. 

As the models scattered, (Y/N) made a beeline back towards Harry, ushering out of the way as quickly as possible. With everyone distracted, he didn't hesitate before he draped his arms around her shoulders in a loose hug. 

"How are y'feeling?" he asked, offering her a quiet smile, "Y'look like you're having fun." 

(Y/N) leant into him, her cheek smushed against the blocked muscle of his chest. "I am, but I'm getting tired. I don't know how you do this all the time." 

A breath of laughter left his lips at her mumbling. "'S surprisingly exhausting, isn't it? Being the center of attention really takes a lot out of a person." 

"No wonder you can fall asleep anywhere," she mused, playing along, "Your life is so hard." 

"I've been trying to tell you," he smiled, pulsing his arms around her when he realized just how hard she was leaning into him. 

She'd been on her feet from the second she had her makeup and hair finished and there were still hours left of her day, even after lunch was served. As much as he was teasing, he was sure she truly was rather exhausted with this being her first time being more than a spectator on set. 

A companionable silence settled between them, Harry not needing to peek to know that she'd had shuttered her eyes while he hugged her. From the corner of his eye, there was a familiar production assistant flittering around with the polaroid camera Harry Lambert had passed off earlier in the day, tasked with documenting the day for behind-the-scenes content. Like a sixth sense, Harry swore he could feel the lens focusing on him and (Y/N), but he didn't flinch back or turn to spot the assistant. 

Instead, he stayed right where he was with (Y/N) in his arms even when the camera clicked and light flashed over the space. 

—————

"I'll be done in, like, ten minutes, 'kay?" Harry murmured, dropping his bag by the station (Y/N) had claimed for the day, "Lambert said there were only a couple of totes left, so I won't take long." 

"Okay," (Y/N) nodded, matching his eyes in the mirror as she pulled out makeup wipes, "I should be done by then." 

Harry lingered behind her for a moment, eyes bright in the reflection, before he stepped away. (Y/N) felt her skin warm in his wake, heart fumbling in its beats before she settled in her chair. She made a point to fix her attention to the makeup wipe she was skimming over her skin, keeping her eyes forward instead of following after him. 

The other models had cleared out as soon as the photographer had called for a wrap, leaving production behind to clean up and clear out for the night. Harry had, of course, volunteered to help clean as much as he could for the night causing (Y/N) to stay back with him. She had helped break down stations and pack props before finally retiring to the final standing station so she could get un-ready herself. 

From her peripheral, (Y/N) spotted Molly bustling around, trusty clipboard in hand. Catching her eye in the mirror, Molly finally paused her constant rushing with her muscles visibly relaxing. 

"I've barely been able to talk to you today," Molly said in greeting as she approached (Y/N)'s station, gifting a small hug with an arm around her shoulders. "Thank you for helping out today." 

"Of course," (Y/N) smiled, the bulbs around the mirror catching the shimmering stickers on her nails that only made her smile stretch wider. "Thank you for letting me be a part of the shoot. I had a lot of fun." 

Molly shifted her weight and leant against (Y/N)’s chair, her features softened. "I could tell. Harry was so worried for you this morning," she shared, "He felt bad, like he had made you say yes when you didn't really want to do this." 

Wiping the light mascara off her eyes, (Y/N) shrugged, "You know it's not really my thing, but he said this one was really important to him. I'm really happy I did it, though—the collection is gorgeous, you guys really did so well with this one." 

 "All of the ideas were H's, so I can't really take any credit for it. Lambert and I just put it all in production," Molly shared, fondness on her features. "We only told him we wanted to do a Valentine's inspired collection, and he already had all of these ideas. We weren't planning to do a dual release, but he'd had so many that he wanted to add that it turned into what we have now." 

"He didn't tell me that," (Y/N) chirped, feeling herself begin to soften. She had known Harry had a large hand in the creative side of these collections, but she hadn't known that he had brought all of the ideas to the table for this one. "I don't know where he gets all of his inspiration between writing and everything with this. He never stops." 

(Y/N)'s teasing comment prompted Molly to laugh along with her, both of them familiar with how hard Harry tended to push himself both creatively and physically. 

"Like, you don't know," Molly said, amusement carrying over her words. 

A pinch touched at (Y/N)'s brows, her hand slowing over her skin to leave her mascara as only smudges under her eyes. "What do you mean?" 

It was Molly's turn to cant her head, her lashes fluttering as she blinked at (Y/N)'s reflection. "I thought that was why you decided to finally be a part of the shoot. That Harry told you." 

For a heartbeat, (Y/N) swore she was in some kind of movie scene. The theatrics of the moment seemed to be blown out of proportion, if only in her eyes. 

"Told me about what?" 

At this, Molly seemingly realized that she may have hinted at something (Y/N) hadn't known anything about. She pursed her lips as if she wanted to keep in her next words, but both of them knew she didn't have much of a choice now that she had started on this avenue. 

"That it's you—the inspiration for the collection. He wasn't very good at hiding it before he finally just told Lambert. All of the shades have something to do with you." 

(Y/N) was hyper aware of Molly's words, even if the sound of her heart pumping began to flood through her ears. 

Strings began to connect throughout the last month since he initially showed her the samples of the polishes. The crew neck he claimed he made with her in mind. The dual collection having four different shades of her favorite color—a fact about her he knew without a doubt. The varnish named after the pet name he had dubbed her as throughout the years, something he had immediately tied to her when she had pointed it out just that morning. 

Maybe it was the new information getting to her head, but more and more pieced itself together. That lingering look he gave her in the mirror just moments earlier felt like more evidence, including the way he held her between shots today, tiny moments that didn't feel out of the ordinary for him. Now those memories could be tinted in rose as moments that were only ordinary because it was between the two of them. 

"Oh," (Y/N) simply sounded, dropping her eyes from Molly's with a flutter of her lashes.

A beat passed before Molly piped up with an apology in her tone. "I'm sorry, (Y/N). I thought you knew, or I wouldn't have said anything." 

"No, no, don't be sorry!" (Y/N) rushed, turning in her seat to match her eyes truly, "It's okay, I'm just surprised." 

Casting her eyes around the dwindling room, Molly lowered her voice by the time she matched (Y/N)'s gaze once more. "Good surprise?" 

Before (Y/N) could give an answer—one she wasn't even sure of—Harry joined their group, He reached towards his bag on the vanity, lookin at the two women with a question in his eyes. "Did you need a couple more minutes?" he asked, not-so-discreetly looking at the shadows left under (Y/N)'s eyes. 

She could feel her stilted smile on her lips, but (Y/N) hoped Harry wouldn't notice. "Why? Did I miss something?" 

Molly made a quiet getaway with a quick pat to Harry's shoulder, taking his attention for a moment as he gave a small way and murmured his goodbye. For a split second, Molly shot (Y/N) a sheepish glance before she was hustling through the space once more. 

When Harry returned to (Y/N), his gaze was scrutinizing this time, a pinch to his brows as he ducked his head to be level with her. 

"I don't think so, no," he said, answering her teasing remark. Reaching out, he gently dragged his fingertips over the soft skin of her under eye, picking up some of the smudgy mess on the pads of his fingers. Her breath caught in her throat at the touch, a stillness touching her muscles she hoped he wouldn't catch. He made a show of inspecting his hands with a comically deep frown on his lips. "Thought I saw something, but, no, y'got it all. Ready to go?" 

Looking at her through the fan of his lashes, (Y/N) saw the teasing gleam to his eyes, though she swore there was something more floating in his irises. 

Had that always been there?

"Um," she mumbled, dropping back into the moment, "Yeah, I'm ready." 

The amusement in Harry's eyes faded at her stilted answer. Creases appeared between his eyes as he gazed at her, his bag loose in his hand. "Y'alright?" 

"Yeah," she attempted to chirp, hopping out of her chair, "I think the day is just catching up to me and all. Just got really tired." 

"Well, then," he started, standing to the full of his height before slinging an arm over her shoulder, "let's get y'home, lovie." 

When he gave a small pulse to the cuff of her shoulder, his fingers denting the soft of her arm, (Y/N) tried to remember if it always felt that charged when he touched her. 

—————

"Hey, you." 

Harry held back a sigh when (Y/N) reached his open arms, burying his nose into her hair as she wrapped her arms around his middle. He settled instead for shuttering his eyes and sinking into her hold. It'd been a long week since he'd seen her last after taking her home after the Pleasing shoot; both he and (Y/N) seemed to be too busy to send more than a few texts to one another throughout the day. It wasn't a secret to him that (Y/N) was the brightest party of his day, but he hadn't realized just how good he had it until she had pulled back those days. 

"How are you?" (Y/N) murmured, her voice muffled from the way her cheek was squished against his chest, "I feel like I've barely talked to you since last week." 

"Me too," he said, drawing away just enough to see her face with his arms a warm loop around her, "I've been alright, though. You?" 

Her eyes skated down his features long enough Harry swore he could feel her gaze like a touch from her hand. His skin warmed in her wake, a pinkened blush surely rising to the surface of his cheeks. 

"I've been good," she finally answered, the heartbeat between his question and her response seeming hours long instead of mere seconds. "Just tired still. I feel like I haven't recovered from last weekend, yet." 

"'M not surprised, y'worked hard." Harry dropped himself back into the moment, clearing his throat. "Molly emailed me some preliminary shots the other day." 

Perking up in his arms, her eyes brightening. "She did? How did they look?" 

A lopsided smile poked at the corner of his mouth. "I can show you, if y'want. Jus' need to grab m'laptop from m'room." 

All it took was a giddy nod from her and a quiet yes, please! that had him untangling from her arms and heading towards his room.

As much as he wanted to stay right where he was in her arms, he needed a breath of air. Perhaps distance, no matter how small it was, really did make the heart grow fonder and Harry wasn't immune to the effects. 

His paces were measured as he scaled his stairs to his bedroom, grabbing his laptop from where it was charging on the side of his bed. The email in question wasn't hard to find, especially since one of his favorite shots—the polaroid one production assistant had nabbed of he and (Y/N) snuggling during a break—was now his home screen on his phone. (And, one of (Y/N)'s official shots was now her contact photo). 

Heading downstairs, he found her already making herself at home on his couch. With a blanket his mom had knitted for him thrown over her legs, she was scrolling through her phone despite the streaming service pulled up on his television. 

"Comfy already, lovie?" he laughed, crossing from the landing to take his own spot next to her. 

"A little," she answered, decidedly reserved in her teasing. That had been much of how it was this past week, (Y/N) too distracted, or tired, or whatever it was to play with him too much. He hoped it truly was nothing more than being a little tired. 

Leaning in close, he settled his laptop on his thighs as he pulled up the attachments.  Beginning to card through the photos, he offered a short explanation, "They're not edited completely yet, but we've got some of the effects added. We're still picking which shots are going to be used for the site and which will be used for the socials, but it all turned out really well." 

Even as every picture lit up his screen, the pad of his finger on the touchpad, Harry favored watching (Y/N)'s reactions as opposed to looking at the shots themselves. He wanted to know if she loved it as much as he did. 

The bright colors cast washes of pale color over her skin, shining like the moon at times with others giving a petal softness to the high points of her face. He could tell when a picture of her appeared with the way she rolled her lips between her teeth, a quiet bashfulness softening the edges of her features. 

"Wait, wait, go back," (Y/N) asked, leaning forward as if to get a closer look at a missed photo. 

Peeling his gaze away from her profile, Harry looked to his laptop to see the photo that had caught her attention was the same one that he favored. An artistically framed shot of their polaroid filled his screen, the nature of the camera already giving fuzzied edges to their forms, an extra set of dreamy editing adding that much more to the sight. 

"Y'like this one?" he murmured, a delicate edge to his voice. 

"When did they take this one?" she asked, her voice a quiet whisper for only him to hear. 

"During that break, remember? Lambert and Molly had an assistant going around to get production shots, and they caught us," he smiled, reliving that moment with her in his arms and the warmth of her form against his, "We're thinking about using this in one of the social shots." 

(Y/N) was silent then, her eyes flitting over every pixel that made up the photo. He hadn't expected her to go so quiet. 

"But, we don't have to use it if y'don't want to," Harry carefully offered, already rearranging the composition of the offered rollout to accommodate her if she was so uncomfortable. "I can talk to Mo—" 

"No, no, that's not—" she started, stumbling some through her words when she managed to meet his eyes finally, "I just... Can I ask you something?" 

The connotations of the phrase had Harry's heart fumbling and palms sweating right away. "'Course. What is it?" 

Hesitating as she rolled her lips between her teeth, (Y/N) let his words hang between them for a few heartbeats too long. 

"Molly told me something after the shoot," she started, her words careful and calculated, "I wanted to know if it was true." 

He couldn't imagine what Molly would have shared that would have had (Y/N) so cryptic and unsure. "Okay," he offered, drawling over the word. 

"She said..." (Y/N) paused, dropping her eyes from his until they landed on the hollow of his throat—a safe place to look when she was too afraid of his reaction. His palms became that much more clammy. "She said something about how this collection was about... me. That you told Harry that you had all these ideas because they were from me." 

In the same moment that time attempted to stop, everything in Harry's body went into overdrive. Was it safe to feel his heartbeat in the base of his throat? Was it normal to want to suck in more air than his lungs needed? 

What was he supposed to say to that?

More importantly: what answer did (Y/N) want to hear? 

Would she be excited to hear that yes, everything Molly had told her was true and he just didn't know how to tell her himself. It was easier to manifest it all into cute little nail polishes and matching stickers. Or did she want him to say no, Molly's imagination had run a bit too wild, or she had heard him wrong, or, or, or—

"Yes," he suddenly blurted out, his mouth ahead of his brain. 

(Y/N) blinked at him. Her eyes floated back to his, bewildered at his blunt answer. "Yes, it's true?" 

The dam that was his filter had too big of a crack to be properly repaired, it appeared. There was no holding back the river. 

"Yes," he affirmed, a weight in his chest pushing the words out before he could offer more thought, "The—um—the yellow one with the gold glitter, it matches the dress y'wore the first time y'came to one of m'shows. And, pink is your favorite color, so I wanted to make as many different ones as we could so you'd have as many as y'wanted to wear. I don't even know if y'have this lipstick anymore, but the red was to match the one y'were wearing when we met. A-All of them are for—about you." 

By the time he managed to zip his lips, there was still plenty to be said but he figured the rambling was more than enough to both humiliate himself and put (Y/N) on the spot. 

The longer she didn't say anything in response, the more Harry sweat. His thoughts were nothing but a swirl heading down a drain, too heavy and incoherent to make sense of.

"(Y/N), I—I didn't m—" 

As quick as he opened his mouth like a guppy, fumbling over his words, he was silenced with (Y/N) pressing her kiss to his lips. 

It was startling at first, taking every ribbon holding him together unraveled, turning him into a scramble. It was only when he felt a careful smile spread over her mouth and she drew away a hair that Harry came alive. 

This was what he'd dreamt of, why was he wasting it? 

Molding his lips to hers, Harry tasted the soft curve of her cupid's bow when he tucked his bottom lip between her two. Faint traces of a fruity chapstick remained on her mouth, though the only taste he got was her. There was no other way to describe the fragrance other than it being (Y/N). Every soft parting and letting of their mouths gave him a rush of that essence, pulling him in deeper and deeper each time. 

The laptop on his thighs was a forgotten object as he turned his body to face her, the device sliding somewhere among the cushions of his couch. His hand landed carefully on the soft of her cheek, feeling a warmth blooming in her skin under his palm. He could feel every pacing of her muscles, feeling how her body moved for no other purpose than to kiss him. It brought a pinch to his brow, an unfurling happening in his chest he couldn't even begin to unpack right then.

While it wasn't an urgent, explicit kiss, Harry didn't want to pull away first. Hours could have been spent on his couch just like this, if not for the fact (Y/N) decided she needed air more than his kiss. 

Following her cue, he gave her some space when she drew away. Her skin was warm as she blinked her eyes open to match his own. He watched as a smile spread over her lips the longer she looked at him.

"You like me?" 

A peal of laughter fell from Harry's lips, bursting through his chest and filling his bones. 

"Maybe. Why?" 

(Y/N)'s laughter filled the one place his own happiness couldn't fill quite as well: his heart.

—————

     Pleasing's Cupid Collection available now. 

(Y/N) barely noticed the notification sliding down the top of her screen, seeing as she was already on the main page of the brand's website. Refreshing the site, the homepage completely rearranged to showcase the dual collection now available for patrons to browse, her own face flashing in the campaign video playing at the top of the page. It was terrifying and thrilling at the same time. 

Was this how Harry felt every time he released music? Or really anything for the world to see?

With the way her heart hammered in her chest, she wasn't sure how he survived things like this. 

Another notification pinged at the top of her phone. Pleasing had just made a post on Instagram. 

Tapping on the dropdown, she was taken from the Pleasing page and to her instagram app. The new post popped up automatically. 

The shot showcased a collection of polaroid photos, some of behind the scenes shots of official photos for the campaign and others showing candid moments between the models and production during the making of the shoot. They were all laid out on a satiny pink sheet, a dreamy filter adding gleaming lights and iridescent shifts throughout the page. 

There was one familiar polaroid that caught her eye—one that was barely within frame but something she had seen enough times she could spot with the barest of pixels. Just barely, she could see herself leaning against the chest of someone who was almost completely cut out of the frame, leaving only a set of arms to be seen wrapped around her shoulders with her eyes closed in contentment. 

Just barely, through the haze of the filter, (Y/N) could see a small tattoo on her companion's hand: a black cross. 

As if being summoned by her thoughts alone, those same arms draped themselves around her from where she stood in the middle of the kitchen. Harry's chin settled on her shoulder, looking at her screen as she pulled up the comments on the photos. 

"What's everyone saying?" he murmured, his lips pressing against the column of her throat in a delicate kiss. 

The smile that landed on her lips was tender and instinctual, something that settled there without her permission. She didn't have to truly read any of the commented reactions to know the public's opinion. 

"They love it," she told him, voice a quiet croon. 

"Yeah?" His smile was audible in his tone. "I think this one's gonna be the most popular yet." 

"You think so?" (Y/N) questioned, swiping out of the reactions if only to see the glimpse of their polaroid once more. 

Placing a gentle hand on her cheek, Harry tipped her chin to face him. There was a gleam in his eyes that (Y/N) never realized was so familiar until the first time they kissed. There was a small tug to the corner of his lips, a single dimple denting his cheek. 

"Yeah. I've jus' got a feeling." 

He dipped his head, pressing his lips to hers.

—————

:)))) thank you for reading, so sorry if there's any mistakes and if theres any questions or anything you have please please send them in! I hope you enjoyed :)

[jarofstyles]

will you PLEASE do a blurb of either friend harry or enemy harry where y/n falls asleep on him or cuddles on him or something and he just kinda realizes he might like them 🫶🏻🫶🏻

FRIEND HARRY FRIEND HARRY FRIEND HARRY!!!!

Check out our Patreon!

———————

It was getting late. Harry knew that, especially when they had come home from the library when it closed at 9.

They had grabbed some take out and went back to his place, Y/N sat next to him and ate her little meal while they watched reruns of Criminal Minds. It was one of their favorite pastimes to try and make fun of said criminals. Harry really just enjoyed spending time with her too.

Tonight had been the usual, except… it wasn’t. Y/N had complained about lack of sleep at the library, the final she was worried about was really ‘kicking her ass’ as she liked to say. He had noticed her getting quiet but really hadn’t payed much attention until he felt a weight on his shoulder.

She had fallen asleep.

Gentle breaths came from her as she curled into him, subconsciously wanting his warmth. A sleepy sigh had been what did him in, her lashes kissing her cheek and illuminated by the TV screen. His belly did flips as he looked at her, seeing how pretty she actually was.

It wasn’t like he wasn’t aware that she was beautiful. He was well aware- but being this sort of beautiful, the type that made his heart settle in his throat? That hadn’t occurred to him until his very moment. Her cheek bleeding heat through his tee shirt, the scent of her green apple and honey shampoo filling his senses, all of it made her literally appear in a different light.

His eyes couldn’t tear themselves away. The butterflies he had been fighting were there to stay, a little smile gracing his lips as he felt her fingers clutch his wrist in her sleep. Seeking him out. She’d never cuddled him like this before, usually seeking personal space, but this was a welcome thing.

It didn’t feel awkward to him. If anything? It felt… really damn good. She trusted him enough to fall asleep, sought him out. While he hadn’t allowed himself to entertain any thoughts past friendship in the past, rarely ever had them, something about this was different.

Maybe it was a good different.

[gurugirl]

Mixed Signals*

Summary: You and Harry are best friends and there's no way he'd ever like you as more. Right?

A/n: best friends to lovers & mutual pining goodness 9.5k words

Warning: Some angst, some fluff, and some smut

You’ve known one another since you were 12. Harry’s always been cute. Really cute. It was hard to ignore your crush some days but most of the time you had no problem teasing one another, making fun of the other, and both pretending to not like each other. It was complicated having feelings for your best friend.

Then as you got older you were convinced he liked you back, but he got a girlfriend during sophomore year of college and so that had to be wrong. He obviously wouldn't choose another girl to kiss and have sex with if he liked you. You were a built-in sure thing, yet he went with the other choice.

Today you and Harry had gone to the amusement park together. You split a funnel cake with powdery sugar, you rode a few rides together, held hands as you ran through the rain back to your car and now here you were, in your bedroom at your parent’s house. The storm was heavy and the rain was falling hard and fast. Your parents were asleep and so you and Harry decided he would stay the night. It felt a little awkward for him to stay over because he hadn’t since he started dating Birdie six months ago.

But he’d slept over and in your bed plenty of times before Birdie. Nothing ever really happened. Well, except for the one time.

6 months prior

You’d woken up when you felt Harry moving in a rhythm that didn’t match up with your sleepy brain, so you turned and reached out for him to stop moving but you pressed your hand right over the skin on his hard penis, which he was pumping in his palm. He had been masturbating and was being really quiet, not making much movement at first. But once it started feeling really good and his balls squeezed as he was just about to come, he was shaking the bed a bit with his faster, more meaningful pace and it caused you to wake.

You both gasped the moment your hand came into contact with his, quite sizable dick. You were shocked first of all that it was sitting right there, just out and bare and his hand was clenched around it but also because of the thickness of him. You hadn’t realized. You knew what this was. He’d been masturbating and you looked up into his eyes, not wanting to look away from his pretty erection.

Harry was looking at you, suspended in motion. He intended on not waking you. Originally he was going to get up and go to the bathroom but then after he rubbed over himself he thickened up so fast, he thought maybe it would only take a couple of minutes. He was so horny and getting up from the bed would mean he’d have to walk 30 feet, open and close doors, move his limbs, and then he’d be standing while he wanked in the bathroom. It was a lot of effort, all that. This would have been a quick pop and then he could wipe up with the tissues sitting on the bedside table next to him. He’d never even have to get up.

He should have used better judgment looking back on it now, with your pretty eyes on his and his hand wrapped around his dick. And he saw the way you looked at his cock. Your eyes widened, lips parted. You paused for a bit as you slowly moved your hand away. It was almost like you wanted to keep your fingers on his solid smooth shaft. Warm. Long. Twitching as he was just interrupted from his orgasm.

So when you smiled at him and moved your own fingers down your long t-shirt and slipped them into your knickers Harry released the breath he was holding. You rubbed over yourself, fingers hidden by the fabric over them, and Harry started up his movements again.

You watched as he jerked his cock in a cadence that was the stencil for your own movements.

“C…can I see? Too?” Harry asked as he moved his free hand up to the band of your panties, still pumping himself.

You nodded at him and stopped your fingers for a moment as you pulled your panties down to your thighs. Then you quickly got back to work.

The sharp inhale of breath from Harry when he saw your pussy for the first time was not missed by you.

You spread yourself a little as you rubbed your clit to allow maximum friction. You and Harry were both rubbing your genitalia, masturbating with panting breaths right next to each other. You knew you’d regret this later but your tired/horny brain didn’t mind too much at the moment. Seeing Harry’s fingers wrap around himself as he fucked into his hand was so hot. And your little wet pussy in his view, arousal being pushed around over your clit, slushy sounds coming from you, it was his end.

You both came quickly, your eyes on one another, the scene was lewd and naughty. Harry ejaculated over his torso and his face scrunched, mouth wide open, breathing hard with one deep groan into the room.

Just the look on his face had you coming. It burst hotly from your veins as you watched his orgasming expression and you whimpered and moaned and when Harry heard you coming he opened his eyes to see for himself. He didn’t want to miss it.

After you both cleaned yourselves with the tissues on the bedside table, all in silence, you laid back into your pillow and Harry pulled the sheets back over his body. And it was never brought up again.

But that was just once. Before his girlfriend came into the picture, well, before they were “official” anyway. Which is probably why it was never brought up. And now he and Birdie were together, well, certainly nothing would be happening.

You both got into bed, joking around like always as you clicked your tv on so you could watch something for a bit. Neither of you was tired yet, you’d both admitted.

Harry slid into the bed next to you. You had your back against the wall and sat with your legs pointed toward the tv on the opposite wall. You’d stuffed pillows and blankets all around, both cozied in. But Harry was close and you were very aware of his proximity. Even with all the blankets and pillows, he’d wiggled in right next to you and his bony knee was dug into your low thigh. Burning, sizzling your flesh, and shooting up your skin directly to your core. You were so attracted to him, and it was moments like these that you hated it. Because he definitely didn’t feel the heat of proximity, his heart didn’t pummel his ribs in his chest, his tummy didn’t send out butterflies into his groin and make him drip with arousal as it did you.

You bit your lip and tried to keep your attention on the tv, or at least you tried to feign interest. Because you couldn’t pay attention to anything but the person sitting next to you. His looming presence. He was leaning toward you, his arm nearly pressed into yours, but just an inch short. It made the hair on your skin raise. Your throat felt dry.

Pay attention to the tv.

Then Harry chuckled and you turned to look at him, "What?"

"You. What're so you stiff for? Look like you're uncomfortable or something. This show's not that good, Y/n."

You forced a smile and knew you were red in the face. Your hormones were going nuts. Any time you were around him lately they were. You couldn't help it. You tried stopping the way you were attracted to him, the way you felt about him beyond just the attraction, the way it stung that he'd never choose you. But ever since that night when you masturbated together, the view of his cock in his hand had been carved into your brain, a permanent fixture and you had a hard time not thinking of him in that way.

"Oh just... I think I just need to..." you scooted around and moved away from him a bit. It helped you breathe. You acted like you were just trying to get yourself more comfortable when you lifted the blanket and pulled at it, to untuck it from your bottom, but the blanket wasn't really that tucked in so when you pulled you gave it too much muscle and the force caused your arm to fly up and you hit Harry in the chin.

"Ooomff!" He reached up and grabbed at his face and backed away from you.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Let me see!" You got onto your knees and pushed Harry back, as you leaned over him to assess the damage. You'd whacked him good, "Does it hurt? Do you need ice? I'm so sorry, Harry!"

Harry just laughed and grabbed your hips, flipping you down to the bed, tackling you over the pillows, and holding you down, his hands pinning your upper arms down as he straddled you. You squealed and laughed at the sudden move.

Then Harry released your arms and brought his fingers down over your ribs and started to tickle your sides. You squirmed and kicked as much as you could and tried pushing his weight off of you but Harry was heavy and strong. Always freakishly strong.

"Oh no! Does that tickle? What 'bout here? Right here?" He continued his fingers over your shirt-covered ribs when you realized, between blushing and laughing from being tickled, that you'd taken your bra off because you two were settling in to go to bed anyway. It was a bit of a habit to remove your bra before bed.

And the reason why you realized it was because Harry suddenly slowed his movements and you opened your eyes to look up at him and saw the way his eyes were taking in the braless tits, with hard nipples poking through the t-shirt on the girl he was just tickling and it had you embarrassed.

You pushed at him to make him move off and he did. Silently. He didn’t say anything about it, just moved back to his spot on the wall and fixed his eyes on the tv.

You felt your face heat up and wished you could just disappear. Sink into the blankets and never come back up. He was obviously grossed out by your braless breasts. You swallowed the lump down your throat and tried to ignore how it made you feel that he reacted the way he did. Obvious disgust. And now? He can’t even look at you.

You both stared at the tv screen in silence. You went over in your head how you should apologize to him but the longer the moment had passed the less it seemed to matter. The damage was done. You felt nauseated.

Harry had tickled you plenty of times. In fact, he tickled you just about any time you were alone together and joking around and even in front of Birdie a time or two. Though you could tell Birdie was not a fan of him tickling you based on the scowl you’d receive when Harry would finally peel himself away from you. You loved it when he touched you, though. It felt like the only time it was okay to let him put his hands all over you and even though you truly were very ticklish, it turned you on just having his digits digging into your ribs or your tummy. But you wouldn’t ever tell him that. And you realized that if you had a boyfriend you wouldn’t want him tickling another girl that way either.

His voice made you jump as you were caught in a state of self-loathing and disappointment while trying to push down the reaction your body automatically had after he touched you.

“Y’hear me?” His head was leaned back to the wall as he was looking at you.

“Oh. No, I didn’t. Sorry.” Another thing to apologize for.

“Said that maybe we shouldn’t tell Birdie I’m staying the night. She wouldn’t like it.”

You nodded. Of course not. Wouldn’t want your girlfriend to know you're staying the night with your dog of a best friend. You put your gaze back to the tv and tried to brush off your upset. It was no use.

And suddenly his hand was on your wrist and he was leaning forward to get your attention, “Hey. Look at me. Are you okay?”

You turned your face to look at his handsome one and just shrugged, “Yeah. I’m fine. Why?”

“Cause you got pretty quiet after I tickled you. Did I do something wrong?” He seemed sincerely concerned.

You looked down at the blanket over your lap, “No. of course, you didn’t. Just felt embarrassed.”

Harry’s hand at your wrist tightened a touch, “Can you please look at me?”

You lifted your head again to look at him.

“There. Now, why did you feel embarrassed?” His kind eyes were always so entrancing.

“Uh… well, because I forgot I took my bra off and that was… well, it’s gross. I’m sorry.” You tried looking back down at your lap but Harry shifted and moved his hand from your wrist to your chin and gently tipped your face toward him so you had to look at him.

“What’s gross? Nothing gross has happened here tonight. And you shouldn’t be embarrassed. S’just boobs," Harry laughed his words as he spoke.

You nodded but kept silent. Yeah, just boobs. Ugly ones attached to your ugly friend, nothing to get worked up over.

Harry kept his eyes on yours for a little longer than he normally would and you swear you saw him look down at your lips and then slowly back up to your eyes. It had you feeling warm and confused. There was a time you thought he liked you but then he asked Birdie out and she was everything you were not. You two couldn’t have been more opposite. And that was all you needed to know to see he probably never liked you like that.

But this look, this gaze had your heart racing. You'd seen it before.

“Pretty.” He said it in nearly a whisper. A quiet statement that might not have been meant for your ears but you heard him. And he was looking at you as he said it, more to himself than to you.

You stitched your brows together and shook your head. No, that's unlikely that he'd said that. You huffed a laugh and tried to turn your face away but Harry's hand kept a loose grip on your chin, turning you back to face him.

"You're pretty. Very. It's why I think we shouldn't tell Birdie. Because she thinks I like you," Harry's words had you utterly confused. You're pretty, he says, but also, he doesn't want Birdie to know... it didn't make sense what he was saying.

"Right. But of course, you don't like me like that. So..." you looked down, and moved your eyes off of his beautiful ones while he still held your chin.

"I do. But... we're friends and... I guess that makes this complicated," he released your chin and you turned your head away. You knew it was a lie. He was just trying to make you feel good. Soften the blow of why he would never choose you.

"That's okay. I get it, Harry," you swallowed the lump in your throat and blinked your tears back. You would not allow yourself to cry in front of him about this. It was silly.

Harry sighed and from your peripheral could see him lean back to the wall where he turned to face toward the TV.

It was silent like that for a bit. No words, no movements. You were feeling quite sad and confused, but mostly sad.

You don't know how long you two stared at the TV in silence. The dark room was lit up with the TV screen and the volume was low so as not to wake your parents.

"So that's it? I get nothing from you?" Harry spoke quietly. You turned to look at him as he kept his gaze on the TV. His jaw was clenched.

"What do you mean?" You were so confused about everything that he'd said. Now, this?

Harry slowly turned his head toward you and he looked upset. He had a frown line between his brows as he spoke, "I just told you that I liked you and that I think you're pretty. You gave me nothing. You never give me anything. I've been flirting with you and dropping hints for years. I get nothing from you but jokes and you just brush me off every time." He sounded mad.

You blinked in your confusion and frowned, "What? What do you mean? Dropping hints? Harry, you have a whole girlfriend who is my complete opposite. I don't understand what you mean."

Harry shook his head and kept a look of disdain over his features, "You're always acting so clueless. We flirt and you brush it off. Remember when we... you know, you saw me that night and we both... did that mean nothing?"

You huffed and scowled, "Obviously it did but then you went and asked Birdie to be your girlfriend the very next week. What was I supposed to do? Beg you to not go out with her?" You had raised your voice slightly.

Harry let out a scoff, "I wanted you to tell me you liked me, Y/n. You never said anything about it again after that. The next morning when I tried bringing it up you made some joke about it. How it was gross. So, yeah, I tried to move the fuck on with a girl who I know for sure likes me."

You thought back to that morning after. You felt like he was not serious when he brought it up. It seemed like he was joking about it himself so you went with that vibe and brushed him off. But now he was here he was mad about it somehow.

"I don't know what to think Harry. You're confusing me."

Harry shuffled on the bed and turned toward you, his face still set in a serious expression, "Okay. Fair enough. I guess I should just…” he sat for a moment as he looked at you, his jaw clenched, “I like you. I would have liked to have asked you to be my girlfriend. Not Birdie. Does that clear up your confusion?" He looked down at you with his brows raised before continuing, "But you never could tell me what you felt for me. Every single time I tried to talk to you about it you laughed it off. So what was I supposed to do?" Harry laughed and shifted again, "You always give me mixed signals, Y/n. I see the way you look at me, and sometimes the way you flirt with me is not just a friendly flirt. And that night when we masturbated together... well that was something. But you're too scared to let me like you so you pretend there's nothing here. So that's why I have a girlfriend who's not you."

You were stunned. You couldn't look him in the eyes or breathe or move. You had to be dreaming but you also knew you weren't. You felt ashamed and disappointed in yourself because he was right. He'd given you a lot more than you'd ever given him and now it was probably too late.

You returned your gaze to his and soften your features as you pushed your nerves down to tell him the truth once and for all, "I'm sorry. You're right. I..." you swallowed to wet your dry throat and felt your nerves bubble over as you pushed them down to finally spit it out, "I like you. I have for a long time. I just... I didn't think you really would like me that way."

Harry's stern expression with the frown line softened as you spoke but then he shook his head, "Fuck that. I have tried to show you. Don't put the blame on me here - saying I wouldn't like you like that. What's that mean? That's bullshit and you know it."

You licked your lips and nodded. It was bullshit. You were just a coward, "Sorry."

Harry sighed and groaned, "Stop. I don't want to hear sorry. Do you have feelings for me? As more than just friends, Y/n. I need to know. It feels like you do but you keep pushing me away. I just need to know so I know what to do here."

You smushed your face up in confusion again, "What to do?"

Harry laughed in frustration and shook his head, "Answer the question."

You both stared at one another, the proximity was causing you to ache again. He'd put his hair in a bun before you got into bed because his hair had gotten long and for some reason, you found him even more attractive than when he had it down. His cheekbones were gorgeous. His features were perfectly symmetrical and handsome. There was no way he'd actually be into you. But he just said he was. You had to tell him the truth.

"I do have feelings for you, Harry. Um... deep feelings and I have for a long time. I like you a lot," you looked down and took a deep breath. You don't know why it was so hard to say but now that you had you felt your entire body tingle with embarrassment.

Harry was silent for a bit. It had you worried. You'd already struggled to tell him that you liked him and now he was quiet. You looked up at his face and Harry had his lips pursed to the side in thought. His light green eyes were on your face.

"Is that what you wanted to hear? What? Now I've said it and that's it?" You crossed your arms over your chest and Harry rolled his eyes.

"God, you're so frustrating. I just wanted a moment to bask in the news you'd just given me. Wanted a moment to soak it in." His expression became playful, a lopsided grin took over his features, and his dimples appeared. You smiled back at him and looked down at your lap.

"You like me enough to be my girlfriend?" He raised his brows at you and tilted his chin upward.

You parted your lips, "Uh... yeah. But you already have a girlfriend so..." you narrowed your eyes at him.

Harry let out a breath in disbelief, "Shut up. You have to stop acting like you wouldn't jump my bones this very second if I asked you to," he smiled as he spoke and you shoved at his arm.

"Would not! Harry, you have a girlfriend. You know I'd never do that."

Harry chuckled, "But you would be my girlfriend if I broke up with Birdie?"

You felt like you'd pass out. Was this happening? Harry was the only guy you'd ever felt anything for and he was gorgeous, fun, and your best friend. And now he was asking you this? Your answer was automatic, "Yes."

Harry's grin widened as he lifted his bum and pulled his cell phone from his back pocket. You watched him pull up his messages and bring up Birdie's contact.

It was pretty late, nearing midnight. Birdie had known that you and Harry had gone to the amusement park together and you saw the messages from her that he'd not yet answered.

From Birdie: I thought you were coming over after?

From Birdie: Are you with her still?

Harry typed in his message quickly and hit send.

To Birdie: Yes. I'm with her. Sorry about doing this over text but it's late. I think we should break up. Have felt this way for a while. We'll talk about it tomorrow and I’ll explain.

You stared down at the phone as he locked the screen and put it face down on the bed.

Your heart was pounding in your chest when you looked up at Harry with new eyes. This all felt like a dream.

"There. I'm single now. Wanna go out with me, Y/n?" His smile was a bit cocky and you still had your mouth dropped open in surprise as you nodded.

"Okay. Yeah."

Harry wasted no time in leaning over you and cupping your face. He didn't press his lips to yours right away but you could feel his warm breath on your top lip. He smelled like mint and soap.

"Yeah? Are you serious? Because I don't just like you a little. I want you to be my girlfriend but this is more than that. You mean it?” Harry’s warm hands on your face felt dizzying.

You bit your lip to suppress the grin that was taking over and nodded, “I am. I’ve wanted that… this. I really like you, as more than a friend, Harry.”

Harry let out a sigh and closed his eyes before shifting to his knees, still with your face in his hands, his forehead to yours, “Fuck. Okay. Then I need you to understand me when I tell you this," Harry swallowed and you heard it and you felt his lips brush over yours briefly before he continued, "I'm in love with you, Y/n. I'm crazy about you."

Your lips were still parted. There was no part of you that didn't love every part of him and now he was here in your bed telling you he felt the same. It was insane how fast things changed from the moment you arrived at your bedroom until now.

"H... Harry... I love you too."

The moment the last word left your mouth his lips smoothed over yours in reckless haste. It was your first kiss with Harry, well like this because there had been the occasional peck of the cheek and forehead. But this kiss had your brain turned to putty. Your limbs were floating and your heart was bouncing around on the inside of your body. You lifted your arms to wrap around his neck and Harry moved his hands from your face down to your waist to pull you in close to him.

You’d kissed a handful of guys but none of them gave you butterflies the way this kiss did. None of those kisses filled your body with an ache and relieved the craving all at once. None of the kisses you’d had in the past felt like they’d change the course of your life like this one.

When his tongue pressed against yours you whimpered on accident, Harry broke from the kiss with a small laugh. His eyes were dark and his raspberry lips were wet and pinker than you’d ever seen them.

“God. So you’re my girlfriend? And you fucking love me?” Harry swallowed and let out a shaky breath as his chest rose and fell with a heavy breath, “I’ve just wanted you for so long. I feel like we’ve wasted so much time.”

Oh god did you want him too. For years. Everything about him was your ideal. You modeled every idea of a relationship after the friendship you had with him. You knew everything about one another and your feelings for him ran so deep that you felt it seep from the bottom of your feet and squish around with every move you made. Like stepping into the ocean and having your feet sink into the silky sand underneath. The kind that gets into your toenails and even after you’ve showered you find traces of it all over your clothes and your shoes and your floor. And then the night you saw his dick all those months back. You hadn’t stopped thinking about it. You’d only had a few quick boyfriends. One of them you had sex with but none of the guys you tried dating would come close to being like Harry.

You dropped your gaze to his crotch and noticed the sizeable bulge and you let out a laugh. It all felt so surreal.

Harry scoffed, “Looking down at the big guy? Do you want another peek at him so you can make a more informed decision as to whether you actually love me or not?” Harry’s words sputtered out in a laugh. He was always teasing like this. It felt like you two were back to normal but now there was a heavy blanket of sexual tension covering you both.

“Shut up! Do you think your dick is what made me love you?” You laughed and nudged at Harry but he grasped your wrist and kept you close. His smile had turned to something a little more seductive, the kind of smile you’d seen him give you before and you felt your tummy dip and soar. It was a smile that faded into something severe and tender. Like need and hunger.

“Probably. It’s what all the girls like me best for,” Harry chuckled and licked his lips. He was teasing obviously. Trying to be playful but you were reeling. You did want to see his dick again. You were already imagining what it might taste like in your mouth, what it would feel like inside of you…

���You’re so dumb,” you spoke with a smile and looked back down at the bulge and back up to him deciding to keep the moment light and teasing, “Okay. Yeah. Let’s see it again so I can decide if I want it near me or not,” you laughed and bit your lip as you looked at Harry. You both smiled and you watched as Harry bit his lip, mimicking your expression.

He kept his eyes on yours with his brows raised as if to say, challenge accepted. Harry was not one to shy away from showing his body. He was quite comfortable with himself. He’d walked around in front of you in boxers or naked (but covering his bits with a towel or a shirt) so many times you couldn’t count. He unbuttoned his pants and lifted his hips to drag them down his thighs. He paused for a moment, his eyes still on yours with a faint smile, head cocked to the side and brows still raised on his face as he pushed his boxers down and then took his t-shirt off swiftly, tossing it into the room. Some of his hair was pulled from the bun he had it in when he pulled his shirt off.

There it was. In all its glory once again. Long and thick and pink at the tip. Your breathing picked up and your head swirled in lust and you felt like you might pass out. But you wanted to touch him and you wanted him to touch you.

You lifted yourself to your knees and pulled your sweatpants down. You weren’t wearing panties but you knew where this was going. It was something you’d wanted for years. You decided that even if he didn’t want to have sex (which was highly unlikely) you’d be okay with that. But you wanted to have sex. The only time you’d ever done it was pretty okay. You liked it enough that you’d like to do it again, and you felt so close to Harry that you knew it would be better with him.

Harry’s gaze landed in between your thighs and his expression changed to something raw, carnivorous. His mouth parted and he couldn’t see your pussy but the view of your soft thighs and the way he knew you didn’t have a bra on under your thin t-shirt made him want to bite down on your smooth inner thighs.

When he reached for you to pull your body to his, you fumbled over his legs and he dragged you up to him where the bottoms of your thighs settled over the top of his, your legs straddling his hip as he leaned back. You pressed your lips to him and he put his hands on your sides. You both had no underwear on. If you moved up only a couple of inches your naked centers would come into contact.

Harry’s palms were gripping your sides keeping you in place. He wanted to bring you up to his dick and have you pressed to him, but he was holding back for your sake. He wasn’t sure if you wanted that or not, but you had taken your sweatpants off…

Harry’s mouth on yours, his tongue sweeping across your tongue, his strong hands holding your hips, the smell of his soap… it felt like everything you ever imagined. And you had imagined it. A lot. You often touched yourself thinking of the way his cock looked in his hand that night. In fact, ever since that night, you hadn’t masturbated to any other person. It had only been Harry from that day on. And now, you were sat in his lap with your warm centers so close you could feel the heat of it over your tummy.

You pushed at his shoulders and sat back to look at him. You wanted to pull your shirt off but there was a bit of you that was still feeling just a little shy. He couldn’t see that you didn’t have panties on yet. Once your shirt came off you’d be totally naked before him. He’d seen your pussy before, but that was in a moment of a sleep-filled lusty haze. There was no sleepiness to use as an excuse this time.

You brought your palms down over his chest and darted your eyes down to his cock. You licked your lips and looked back up at him. You knew he’d slept with three girls. He always told you about his sex life. He knew all about yours too. You hated that he’d been with other girls, far prettier than you thought of yourself.

But Harry hated that you’d been with anyone else as well. He wasn’t going to call himself a Casanova or anything but he knew he could be better with you than anyone else. Half the time he was with Birdie, he imagined it was you. He tried not thinking of you but anytime you two would hang out there was always flirting and teasing, and when he’d go to see Birdie after, if he had plans with her, he couldn’t get you off his mind and it was you he fantasized about.

When Harry began to grin at you because you were taking too long to make another move, which was true as you were just looking from his dick to his eyes, you laughed through your nose. It felt so silly to be shy around him, but at the same time, this was all new territory.

Harry started to laugh with you and then he softly pushed at you, making you fall to your back he kept his hands at your ribs and started tickling you to ease some of the tension because in all honesty, he was nervous too. You were laughing and kicking at him but Harry sat over your thighs keeping you from doing any damage and when he looked down that’s when he noticed your lack of panties. He paused his hands and softened them over your ribs, the pads of his fingers now faintly caressing your sides as he kept his eyes on your pussy. You watched his jaw go slack as he shamelessly inspected the way your thighs were pressed tightly together and how his cock was hanging right above you, it was beautiful, both of your naked bodies so near.

“Not wearing your knickers. That’s a surprise,” Harry smirked at you and brought his hands down to your bare hips and over your thighs and you watched as he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing harshly.

He pushed himself to hover over you and brought a hand down to your left thigh to spread your legs. He settled in between your thighs and leaned down to kiss you again. But this time he was directly over your body and you could feel the weight of his warm dick lying over your tummy and you moaned and spread your legs further. You knew you were already slick. You usually became wet anytime you were around him for long enough.

Harry groaned and you felt him rock down over you, his thick shaft digging down into you. He continued kissing and licking at your mouth when he reared himself back just a little, placing his cock over your pussy. When he nudged down a little to feel how warm you were he realized you were wet and he easily slid upward.

“God… Y/n. Fuck…” Harry moaned, not stopping his hips from rocking down over you.

You both continued moving together and kissing for long moments. It was something you thought you could do for all eternity. Harry’s heavy cock felt so nice in between your folds and being dragged up and down over your clit.

You whimpered when you began to tingle a little. You felt a little surprised that you could come like this, but of course, you could. It was Harry.

Harry stilled his hips and backed away from the kiss. His pupils were blown out and his lips were pink and puffy, “You’re so wet for me. Bet I could just slip right inside like this,” and he pushed down, nudging at your clit for emphasis.

You nodded, “Yes. I think you could…” you licked your lips and watched Harry’s face closely. You were hungry for anything he was willing to give.

“Can I lick your kitty for a bit,” Harry grinned as he said it. You laughed and nodded.

You held your breath as Harry moved down your body and he put his arms under your thighs and pushed you down into the bed. He looked up at you, still with that smirk on his face, and just as you were about to shove him for being goofy he opened his mouth and brought his tongue out to swipe up your wet folds. You were effectively rendered speechless.

He kept humming and you’d hear, “Mmm…” as he licked through your labia and over your clit. His eyes stayed on you as he ate you out. You watched as his tongue worked around your clit slowly and then he’d draw it into his mouth with a slurping noise. When he pulled his face away a bit to look down at your pussy you watched strings of your arousal from his mouth down to your pussy. He licked his lips, breaking the drips of arousal off and swallowing it down.

He focused his attention on your cunt and moved an arm out from under your thigh to rub his fingers through your folds. You moaned softly at the sensation and the way you were feeling so vulnerable under his close examination.

Harry looked back up at you, his fingers still working your pussy slowly, “You taste so good and you look so pretty. This pussy is the best pussy I’ve ever had, and we haven’t even really started yet.”

You panted when he spoke. You hadn’t expected those words to come out of his mouth. It was sometimes hard to be serious around him but this was no laughing matter. You were so turned on it hurt. You loved everything about this.

Harry returned his mouth to your cunt and then gently eased a finger into your entrance. You dropped your mouth open and let out gasps and felt your simmering blood turn to a boil as he sucked you in and licked you up. His finger massaging at your walls with the low murmur of the TV on in the background.

You put your hands into his hair and this made it come mostly out of the bun he’d had it in. It didn’t matter. He didn’t stop what he was doing to you and you yanked on his hair as you swayed your hips over his mouth.

You had to keep quiet, though. You still lived with your parents and they were just downstairs asleep. It was a conscious effort to keep your moans at a very soft volume, but the way his mouth felt on you had you wanting to be loud.

Harry began to groan a bit and with his cock desperate to be rubbed on something he rocked into the comforter under him, keeping his mouth on your pussy. You looked down at his face and he had his eyes squeezed shut. You could tell he was trying to get relief with the way his hips were grinding down into the bed. You pushed at his forehead a bit and he lifted his face, his lips ghosting over your wet pussy.

“Harry? Um…” you swallowed your nerves down, “… do you want to have sex?” You wanted to have sex. You wanted to feel him inside of you.

Harry’s brows shot up and he pushed himself up and looked around the room and back to you with a nod, “I mean… yeah. Of course I do,” he spoke with a laugh as he pumped his cock a few times for relief. He was aching already. Having his mouth on you was doing him in.

You sat up and finally pulled your t-shirt off over your head and Harry’s eyes widened. He climbed over you, pushing you back down to the bed, and attached his mouth to your tit and lapped around your pebbled nipple as he squeezed the other one under his palm gently.

He looked up at you and shook his, “Fuck,” before going down to kiss and suckle at your other breast.

You laughed when he nipped at you and he raised his head again, his hair all strung out and messy, half up in his bun, “How do you look like this and I never… shit Y/n. You’re so pretty,” he pushed himself up with his face scrunched, “I think I could cry. Fuck…” he palmed at both of your tits for a few more moments, watching as he smushed them together and pushed at your nipples. He couldn’t believe he was getting to grope you after all these years.

When he looked back up at your face you were smiling gently. He smiled back at you, biting his lips into his mouth, the indents in his cheeks carving inward, “Do you have a condom?”

You nodded and sat up again. Harry moved back to give you space and you pulled a packet from your bedside drawer and tossed it to him.

It felt so crazy to watch him naked in your bed as he slid a condom over his dick. A condom that he was putting on and was meant to be used with you. You were both going to have sex. Together. You had goosebumps over your skin but you felt hot. You had imagined this scene in your mind over and over again and now it was really happening.

“Do you want to get on top? Or what do you want? I’m not going to be picky here. I’m gonna like anything you want,” Harry spoke with a low voice as he settled next to you, his hand smoothing up over your hip to your tummy.

“Mmm…” you considered. You weren’t super experienced and the one guy you’d slept with never made you come so you weren’t sure what you liked the most, “Maybe you can start on top, and then we can switch to try with me on top if we feel like it?”

Harry nodded and squeezed your sides with a big smile. He pulled your face back to his and kissed you a little, his palm softly massaging your breasts. And in a smooth transition, Harry moved your legs apart and put himself between your thighs. He rubbed the insides of your soft thighs and got a good look at your pussy again before grasping himself and dragging the condom-covered tip through your slick flesh.

“Okay. Are you ready? Do you need anything first?” He wanted this to be the best you’d ever had. He didn’t want to do anything wrong and he wanted to make sure that you were happy and well-pleased with him. He wanted to be a good lover.

“I’m ready. Just need you,” you nodded and spoke in a whisper as you watched Harry’s arm flex when he lined himself up to you and began to gently and slowly move past your entrance. You watched Harry, his eyes on yours as he entered you for the first time. It was a gorgeous little stretch and pull and you gasped with a smile on your face.

Harry returned your smile and paused for a second. He wanted to enjoy this with you. He planned on going slow and connecting with you the whole time.

“Okay? Feels okay?” He breathed his words out and you nodded with a grin.

He began to push himself in further before he slowly reared back and then plunged in again, coating the condom with your arousal. Each time he backed out a little and then pushed back into you he got a bit deeper.

His languid strokes were slow and smooth. You were both panting and it felt so good. It felt like it was meant to. You were so happy, so beyond excited about Harry wanting you that your brain was fuzzy with joy and love and all those gushy gooey feelings. Harry leaned over you as he continued fucking into you slowly. He pressed his lips to yours and you opened your mouth up right away, licking his tongue and pushing your lips together with hot open-mouthed kisses.

You were glad the TV was on. It helped to drown out the noise of your mattress squeaking and the small moans and whines coming from you two. You kept quiet but you knew that if Harry sped up at all things would naturally become louder.

You rocked your hips upward each time Harry rolled his hips down into you, giving your clit the friction it needed. Harry kept his mouth over yours as his cock slid inside of you, deeper and deeper until he was pushed into the hilt and he let out a bit of a louder groan when he felt you squeezing him tight.

He lifted his mouth and with a small laugh he spoke, “Thank fuck for the condom or I’d already have been coming. You feel really good,” his grin was sexy and you lowered your hands to his bottom and pulled him in closer to you. He kept his eyes on you as he thrust upward into you, keeping himself fully sheathed inside of you.

You bit your lip and breathed hard through your nose. He was deep. It felt so good, though, to be connected to him this way and you nodded, “It does feel really good. I can feel you so deep, Harry,” your words were panted out as Harry continued rolling his hips upward to push your insides apart.

When he began to pull out to his tip and then glide inward you could hear how wet things were down there. Harry was grunting and he felt his groin get wetter and wetter each time he got balls deep. Part of him wished he get even deeper, push even further into you, lodge his cock into your guts so far that you two could never be apart again.

His cadence increased a little and the wet sounds of your bodies patting together were now just as loud as the TV. Though the volume was low, it was still an obvious noise of sex.

Harry put his hands into your hair and cradled your head as he fucked you, looking into your eyes, “I love you so much, Y/n,” his words were shaky breaths and he snorted a little at the end which had you laughing but when he gave you one harsh thrust you yelped and grasped onto his back with your fingers. He didn’t mean to thrust into you so hard but you felt so good. He couldn’t wait to start having sex with you all the time. This was the first time, though, so he really did want to go slow and make it meaningful, make it last and last. But he just knew that he’d be railing you so deep and hard and making you scream the next time. The first time, however, he wanted to show you his feelings, give you all of himself with a slow, decadent fuck and he wanted to savor the way you felt in his arms and on his dick.

Your mind was reeling from how he felt inside of you, the way his body felt over yours, how he made you feel so pretty and so loved, “I love you too, Harry…” you moaned your words and felt yourself being gently rocked upward at each of his plunges.

Harry began to shake a little, he felt his balls tighten and he knew he was going to come soon. He stopped rocking his hips and breathed for a moment to calm down. He wanted you to come first.

“Wanna get on top and ride me?” Harry kissed your lips after he asked and you nodded into his lips.

He quickly pulled out and got onto his back as you climbed over him and sat up. You placed your palms over his chest and Harry put his hands on your outer thighs, loving the view of your tits and your stomach on view for him. He was over the moon. It was also a nice reprieve for him to have you switch positions so he could regain his composure and not come too fast.

Harry watched you as you grasped his cock, wetted hair at the base, and the condom smooth underhand. You would love to feel him without the condom. You’d heard things about the extra friction and heat that could be felt without a condom, but you were just happy to be getting his cock at all.

With one hand on his chest to stabilize yourself and your other one holding his shaft steady, you sink over him slowly and watch the tip slip in. Harry held your hips and watched as your pussy spread for his girth and he twitched as you lowered only an inch. Once you got his head past your entrance, you kept him shallow inside of your cunt as you placed both palms at his chest and moved slowly just over his tip, really feeling the way it opened you up, savoring the thickness of him.

Harry smiled at moved his gaze from where you were connected to your eyes, “Just gonna fuck tip? S’that feel good like that, Y/n?” His voice was deep and strained.

You loved how it felt in fact, “God, Harry… it just feels so good. Just wanna, go like this,” you said as you pushed down over him, getting only a tiny bit deeper before moving back upward so he was nearly all the way out, and then fucking down on his tip again, “for just a minute. It’s so thick.”

Harry closed his eyes at your words. He knew he was large. But hearing you say it while you were naked and your pussy was gripping at his head, the little sounds of your arousal being plunged into, the smell…

Soon, though, you wanted to feel him pushing your wet walls apart again. You wanted him moving your insides around and feeling how much he could stuff you full. You lowered down further until you were seated over his lap with his balls tucked securely under your bottom. You ground over him for a moment, rubbing your clit onto his pelvis.

Harry moved his hands from your waist to your round bottom and he hung on tight as you rode his cock, slicking yourself up and down, with your hips angled to keep your clit in contact with him. It sent electricity through your body when you had his length inside of you this way. It was deeper when you were on top and it ached inside of your body as you moved down over him. You couldn’t help but start tearing up just a little because it was everything you’d wanted for years.  

Harry was silent other than his own breathy grunts each time you moved down over him. He saw how you were getting a little emotional, but he was too. He pulled you down so he could press your lips together and he adjusted his hips and began to gently rock into you from his position. It was soft and slow still, but the springs in your mattress were squeaking in rhythm with his upward thrusts.

It was so intense, the way everything felt in your body, your heart was pounding and your mind was surging with thoughts of complete bliss to be loved in return by Harry. He loved you. He wanted you. His cock was pushing into your pussy and everything just felt so good. Your mouth and his mouth moved slowly, softly as you both moved your hips together.

When you suddenly felt the snap of your orgasm begin to pulse around your middle and the tingle started to spread from your tummy to your clit and then into your vagina, you knew it was going to wreck you. This wasn’t just going to be like the orgasms you achieve by rubbing at your clit quickly in bed each night. Harry's big dick was pressing into your g-spot with ease and the way he was moving into you meant you felt him inside of you and your orgasm was going come from inside of you as well.

Harry felt you begin to quiver and your mouth stopped moving on his when you began pulsing gently over his cock. He increased his speed of upward thrusts just a bit and the bed began to rock a little harder. The sound of wet skin making contact was in rhythm with the springs in your bed and you began to moan a little louder than you should have.

Harry knew you were coming when you began to shift over him faster and began to moan. He tried to put his mouth over yours to keep you quiet but you angled yourself away from him as you gasped and rocked your pussy over his cock, “Fuck, Harry! Holy shit!”

Harry laughed as you clenched his dick and your moans were so loud. He couldn’t stop you, though. And he just hoped your parents couldn’t hear you. You felt so good on him, coming and moaning and shaking in your orgasm.

Harry watched your face with your mouth dropped open and your tits bouncing as you used his cock for your pleasure. He threw his head back into the pillow and smiled as he gasped and spurted into the condom. He was in heaven, coming with you on him, your name falling from his mouth. He loved that his dick made you feel so good you lost control of yourself.

Harry panted and shut his eyes tight as he released his come, his orgasm finally giving him total relief.

You collapsed over him as you began to come down and breathed into his neck with a big smile on your face and a few tears on your cheeks. It was probably the happiest you’d ever been. All in one night Harry had admitted he liked you, then told you he loved you, then fucked you so good you cried. And now he was yours.

Harry rubbed over your back slowly and kissed your temple. He loved this moment. He knew there would be many more like this and it squeezed his heart just thinking of how you were his now.

You pushed yourself by your elbows and looked down at Harry and his disheveled hair. The band that held his bun in place was nowhere to be seen, his chest flushed with a big dimpled smile on his face.

“Harry…” you didn’t have anything in mind to tell him. You just wanted to say his name.

“Y/n…” he said to you as he pinched your bottom and you jumped but he held you down over him so you couldn’t move too far from him.

Everything felt so natural with Harry. So real and so fun and it just made sense now. You’d always been in love with him and he’d always felt the same for you.

You both smiled as you started to laugh again, “That was… the best. I’m gonna need to buy more condoms, though. Because we are doing that again.”

Harry nodded and breathed out a laugh, “Yeah? You wanna fuck me again, Y/n? S’that mean you like me?”

You shook your head and rolled your eyes and clenched down over his cock, squeezing him tight and Harry gasped. You waited for a moment before you responded but then with a smirk on your face and a hand at his temple brushing his hair back you said, “I fucking love you.”

Feedback/Thoughts | Support Me | Main Masterlist

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like 💕

Tags: @michellekstyles @ssaama @angelqueen99 @sombrioinvernoemveneza @golden-hoax @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @yousunshineyoutempter @the-gardener-31 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @swiftmendeshoran @luvonstyles @dancinsunflowerkiwi @tiaamberxx @lukesaprince @harrys-foxy @dirtytissuebox @closureesny @lhharrylilpumpkin @evelynlarue @chaptersleftunwritten @justlemmeadoreyou @sadeslovechild @anothermannharry

[meetmymouth]

bestie : harry styles x best friend!reader

helloooo this is just something short and sweet for you guys. lowercase intended. best friend reader x harry. reblogs and feedback are welcome! enjoy.

yourusername has started a live!

she purses her lips as she tries to find a decent enough filter to hide the bags under her eyes. she wouldn’t normally care, but it was one of those days where everything about her and her face seemed so awful to her. she decides on a bright filter, and watches the number go up until people start gushing and saying ‘hello’ in the chat.

“hello, hello,” she laughs, seeing her brother’s username pop up as well as a few other familiar ones. “jack is watching my live, how sweet,” she refers to her brother, and starts reading other messages.

“i’m not drunk, it’s eleven in the morning!”

harry_lambert hi angel

ynlovesharry you’re so pretty!!!! hiii

harryscorn hi bestie where’s harry

“hi everyone– hi lambert,” she laughs when she notices his messages in the chat, followed by a few angel emojis. “you did well in toronto, they looked amazing.”

niallshorndog have you watched the red carpet???? omg

zaynxharry are you gonna watch my policeman? 

harry_lambert thanksssssss x

harrystyles hi

gracewalkers12 whens the album coming out??

bendoverharry HARRYYYYYYYYYYY

wellbeafinelines harry is here omg

tobesoharryy y/n being supportive we love to see it

harryscorn HARRY IS HERE

“am i going to watch my policeman? of bloody course!” she says, itching her neck as the hot air in the bedroom seemed to suffocate her. “ha!” she laughs at harry’s message. “hi, harry. the album isn’t finished yet but soon!”

harrystyles you suck

ynupdates show us bambi!

ynandharry i love their friendship

harrystyles how do i join this live?

“bambi is outside,” she responds, eyes catching another one of harry’s messages. “harry, you’ve already joined the live, bestie.”

she watches other messages pop up, and starts talking about her favourite artists and the mtv music awards before she sees harry’s username pop up again.

harrystyles i sent a request.

harrystyles ahhh.

limabean89 are u and harry dating?

adele hi gorgeous

“oh my god, hi adele, what the hell?” she laughs, scrolling up to see harry’s messages again. she presses a few different settings before the screen doubles, and harry’s face pops up.

he’s in bed, only his forehead and eyes visible.

“am i on?”

“you are,” she confirms, laughing. “hi bestie.”

“hi bestieeee,” he says loudly, and fixes his phone so his whole face is in the frame. “what are you doing?” he asks.

“nothing much, to be honest. writing. what you up to– you seem bored.”

“i am. just chilling.”

ynupdates collab pls

ynsbananbread y/n pls date

harrysfineline HSRRY OMG

cherryxharry HARRY WTFHEBKFD

harry_lambert besties

ynsdivine HARRYYYYYYYYYYY

jeffazoff two idiots

1ddaydream HARRY ON INSTA LIVE WHAT IS LIFE

“okay i see,” she nods, reading the messages. “you love him more.”

harry snickers. “hard not to when you’re me.”

“twat.”

harry laughs. “the messages are coming through so fast, i can’t read anything,” he murmurs, eyes looking down as he presumably tries to catch up. “jeff called us idiots.”

she rolls her eyes. “takes one to know one, i guess.”

“someone just asked what i smell like,” harry clears his throat, and looks up again, eyes on his camera as it gives the effect of holding eye contact.

she does the same. “you smell good.”

he smiles. “thanks. niamh is asking what your favourite position is.”

“oh fuck off!”

kid_harpoon besties are live

ynupdates can yall date please lmao 

nialllovescamila how can you be just friends with harry styles

“’how can you be just friends with harry styles’,” harry reads, then laughs, looking back up again. “well,” he says, straightening up on the bed. he leans against the countless pillows. “she keeps letting me down.”

“let’s not go there,” she says, already knowing the articles that will be published after harry’s statement. “bridget asks how i smell like,” she wiggles her eyebrows, making harry roll his eyes.

“rubbish.”

annetwist hi loves

annetwist 🥰

butterflyyn NOT RUBBISH OMFG

ynsbreadsticks ANNEEEEE

watersmelonsugars omg anne is here

she ignores harry. “hi anne.”

“hi mum.”

“what inspires you,” she reads another message.

“is that one for me?” harry asks, rubbing his eyes.

“i guess for both of us? what inspires you?” she directs the question at him.

harry bites his bottom lip. “everything, really– people, love, heartbreak, happiness... mostly people.”

“i guess, same.”

“great,” he laughs. “copy my answer.”

“stop being mean to me, oh my god.”

lhhfeverdream harry would you ever date y/n?

ynupdates harry do you have another album coming out soon?

harryfashionarchive our faves! hi besties

“would i ever date–” harry reads one question in particular, though she cuts him off.

“we’re best friends.”

harry laughs, dimples widening. “don’t knock it ‘til you try it, y/n.”

jeffazoff as if she hasn’t already

ynupdates ???? WHAT NOW

zaynsbeard ?? WHAT THE HELL OERKDVNSNC

gemmastyles this is disturbing

niallhoran 😂

[itslottiehere]

i don’t wanna hear about him — h.s

hello beautiful people 🤍 welcome back! i know it’s been a while! but now, i present you a one shot i’m veryyy proud of, and hopefully you’ll find it to your liking as well <3 it’s inspired by harry’s unreleased song, “him.” just fyi, there won’t be a part two of this! as always, please let me know what you think! you can do so in your reblogs, in your tags, or in my asks! your feedback means the world to me. so, without further ado, happy reading! <3

— inspired by “him”, by harry styles

tw: some swear words

word count: 13.5k of pure angst (please get something to drink and tissues)

masterlist | leave your feedback or requests here

6 years before the day.

when harry told her that they were going to attend the same college, she couldn’t believe him. she was sure harry was gonna take a gap year or something, travel around the world, make experiences. all the while she would wait for him patiently, like she always did.

falling for your best friend isn’t the smartest idea, anyone would tell you that. a little of a cliché too, perhaps. but there was nothing she could do against those feelings: they planted their seeds deep into her heart, and bloomed. and they kept doing so.

now, three years into their college career, those feelings had developed deep roots, and it seemed like nothing was ever gonna eradicate them. 

but it was fine, she kept telling herself: it hurt, of course it did, but at least she had harry in her life, in some way. there was only one thing of the utmost importance: not letting harry find out. 

she knew that if he found out, he would run. that’s what he did every time he was faced with difficult situations, and god if this wouldn’t be one. 

so she learned how to mask those feelings, and she got pretty good at that over the course of the years. she couldn’t stand even thinking about not having him in her life, especially as a friend, so if all it took was bottling up her feelings, she would gladly do so. 

harry was happy: he was having fun in college and was seeing people whenever he wanted to, enjoying being a bachelor more than anything. and he was in college with his best friend, who was always there to play with his hair whenever he asked her to. he liked the comfort she brought him, and that’s why he didn’t really stop to think about what it could feel like for her, if it had a different meaning for her.

she’d always look at him as if he put the stars in the sky for her, she had nothing but love for him in those eyes. even if she tried sparing glances at him whenever he wasn’t looking, everyone around her noticed. and every time, harry didn’t. 

or that was what she had always thought. 

actually, and unfortunately, harry did notice, but didn’t know what to do, how to bring up such a topic with a person who he only saw as the best of friends, but nothing more than that.

and maybe, just maybe, he was so arrogant that he loved the attention and didn’t want to deal with the consequences of actually talking about it. 

—

5 years before the day.

graduating was scary for her, almost terrifying. 

a new beginning, once again. not knowing where life would take her, once again. 

and the nagging thought that kept her awake at night, the ones she spent listening to sad love ballads about failed relationships and missed opportunities: would harry still be in her life? she couldn’t help but think that he would move on, and leave her behind on his way to his new life, a memory of his younger years, of the life he wanted to move on from.

harry, on the other hand, was giddy. he didn’t know what the future would hold for him and he couldn’t help but think how exciting this was: a new start, endless possibilities for him to take, no matter how good or bad. “bring it”, he thought. 

she started working at a little coffee shop, just to do something after graduation. she could afford a very small apartment, but didn’t care, because it was something that was finally hers, and she was extremely proud of it. 

harry liked it too, and bought her a plant and a bottle of cheap champagne the day she got the keys.

“to our new lives”, he toasted, raising his glass.

“to going forward”, she added, a whole different meaning to her words from what harry may have thought. 

she really did have a plan to move forward. she knew she had to, the whole thing was becoming more ridiculous each day that passed: harry looked at her as a friend, and that was okay. he had been dating all throughout college, saw people all the time, and she had no real reason to wait for him, not when she knew things wouldn’t ever change. 

if only she had ever caught a glimpse of him looking at her the way she looks at him, or a certain touch that could give her even the littlest doubt of him having feelings. 

but that didn’t happen, not in high school, not in college. and it was just never gonna happen. she just had to make peace with it. 

and she was trying to: she had met a guy, named noah. he came into the coffee shop one afternoon, all wet from the rain. with a tired smile he came up to the counter, and when he looked at her, she could’ve sworn his eyes lit up a little. 

he had a goofy grin on his face, his hair sticking to his forehead, and after he mulled a bit on what to order, glancing at the board, he looked back at her and asked her to make him her favorite drink. 

she nodded, smiled at him, and told him he could take a seat at a table and wait for her to bring him his order. he smiled again, and went to sit down. 

he stayed for a while, almost up until closing time. before going away, noah came up to the counter and kindly asked her “do you happen to have a pen?”. she picked one up and handed it to him, and not even after twenty seconds, he came up to her again, thanked her and gave her the pen back. but not only that: there was also a napkin with his phone number scribbled on it. 

she smiled and heard the little bell of the door ringing. 

she thinks she will call him.

this had happened about a couple of weeks before. harry didn’t know about noah yet.

— 

4 years and 9 months before the day.

she couldn’t believe that she actually started dating someone. it was going slowly, but it was nice. noah was good, he made her laugh and was plenty nice, and as much as this sucked to say, if harry wasn’t going to be her person, then maybe she could be happy with noah. 

harry heard about this noah guy a couple of times. she seemed really fond of him, and he can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. she looked happier then he has seen her in a while. maybe she’s moving on, and she deserved it, he thought.

is she really moving on?

— 

4 years and 6 months before the day.

she really didn’t want to do this. fighting with harry was her least favorite thing to do. 

they kinda lost track on each other in those three months: things began to get more serious with noah, and she actually understood that noah wasn’t second best to harry. he was just another best. 

it was a safe love, a sure one; a place where she didn’t have to wonder if that touch was something more than just that, because she knew it was. 

it’s nice, she thought, to know that you love and are loved back. it’s nice.

so she put all her energies into that relationship, and she was very glad she did: it felt somewhat refreshing, to finally come out of the shadows, to finally put herself first.

but that didn’t mean she expected her best friend of almost 10 years to move across the globe and not tell her. 

he told her by text. a week before he’s supposed to leave.

she told him countless times that some things are not things he was supposed to tell via text messages, and he knew how much she hated it. 

“sometimes you gotta suck it up, be brave and tell someone what the deal is.” she always told him. apparently, she spoke in vain.

“Hi! I know this is kind of out of the blue, but I’m moving back to London next week. I don’t know for how long yet, I guess I’ll make the decision once I’m there, but I wanted to ask you if you want to have a coffee or something before I go, and if so, to let me know. I get that you’re busy now.”

she felt like the last line was probably a bit passive aggressive, but she quickly discarded the idea: he had no reason to be acting like that. yes, she had been busy with noah and with her life for once, and she didn’t give him her undivided attention. so was that it? was that the reason he never brought this up before?

before she could even register what she was doing, she was putting her shoes on and grabbing her car keys.

a loud knock from the door had harry look up from his halfway done suitcase. his phone, resting on the nightstand, unlocked, open on their chat. 

he couldn’t believe she left him on read. he thought news like that, of him leaving for god knew how long, would be enough to at least get a little of her attention. but alas, he was wrong.

he didn’t know whether he was feeling more sad or disappointed, or angry. why did things had to change? why does he feel a weight on his chest every time she turns down a chance to hang out because she already had plans with noah? why was he feeling like that?

and as always, when things got too hard, what did he do? run. and that was the exact same thing he was doing then.

the pounding on the door didn’t let up, so he said loudly: “give me a second, i’m coming.”

he jogged to the door and opened it, not even having the time to actually understand what was happening: she stormed in, moving to stand into his living room, her arms crossed and the most furious look harry had ever seen on her face. 

he was a bit shocked to see her there, in a place she hadn’t been to in almost three months. he didn’t really know what to say.

“hi.” harry said almost questioningly.

“you’re leaving for london for you don’t know how long and you didn’t even have the gall to tell me in person?” she was practically seething, her face stony, but her eyes burning into his.

“i-uh, i knew you were-“

“don’t even try to repeat that “i’ve been busy”. you know it’s a big change, a fucking huge one, and you choose to tell me in a fucking text?” the volume of her voice was increasingly raising. “what is wrong with you?”

that set harry off. “what is wrong with me?” he stepped forward. “am i the one who disappeared on you for three months? am i the one who ignored you the few times we actually got to hang out because i was too distracted by my boyfriend, who couldn’t help but text me while he knew i was out?” he was almost screaming, a tone of his voice she had never heard before, and hoped she never had to again. 

even if she didn’t know if there was anything else left to be said between them after this fight.

“you are-“ she scoffed. “you are something else.” 

she often told him that phrase, whenever he did or said something she couldn’t believe, but it was always followed by a laugh. this time, though, a laugh was the last thing on her mind. 

“when for once in- what, almost 10 years of friendship - i stop putting you on a fucking pedestal and put myself first, you start acting like a spoiled little kid? really?” she was in disbelief, she couldn’t believe the audacity he had to say that.

“i’m not-”

“oh but you are, you fucking are. and you know what makes my blood boil?” she paused and almost murmured her next words. “the fact that you never realized that you pulled this shit on me all the time, every single time you got into a relationship: once you’d find a partner, you’d put me on the back burner. and what did i always do?” she pointed her finger towards him for the next sentence. “i’d always let you. wanna know why? because i knew that once you get into a relationship, you need to cut some time with just the other person. and i always let you do whatever you wanted, never once complaining.” 

she shook her head, closed her eyes, and went on. “and now that i am the one in a relationship with a guy who loves me, who makes me feel happy and safe, who i’m sure is not gonna bolt as soon as i don’t give him my undivided attention, you’re here pointing your finger at me because you haven’t been my priority these last couple of months?” if she hadn’t closed her eyes, she would’ve seen harry visibly cringing at the concept of “love” associated by her to noah. even he couldn’t really understand why it hit him so hard.

“let me just-” he tried to talk back but was once again interrupted by her.

“no, i won’t let you, because i don’t need to hear anything from you: the way you behaved in making such a life changing decision already told me a lot of how highly you think of me.” the phrase was dowsed in sarcasm. 

she went towards the door, grabbed the handle and as she was about to walk out of that apartment and possibly his life, she turned back and told him one last thing. “i guess it’s good to know who’s the one who’s always gonna leave at the littlest inconvenience.”

she slammed the door on her way out.

she walked home, silent and angry tears streaming down her face. she had never been that mad in her life, and especially never with harry, but no matter how angry she felt, she was at least twice as sad. she was always afraid of this happening, of them on not being friends and going their separate ways, and knowing her biggest fear had become a horrible reality, was making her spiral. 

she knew her anger was her mind’s way of softening the blow, of making her think that somehow she wasn’t the reason she was gonna lose her best friend, that harry made the decision for the both of them by hiding the move from her.

she knew all of this, and her anger quickly dissipated, leaving room for pure sadness to take over. 

grabbing her phone, she quickly typed a message.

to noah:

“can’t come out tonight, i'll see you later”

noah responded almost immediately. 

“Oh okay, that’s fine! If you need anything, I’m right here for you :)”

yeah, he was there. he was the one who was staying. 

she put her phone away, and kept walking home.

harry stayed put on that spot right outside the living room for at least 5 minutes after she left. 

she left, she left, she left.

he didn’t know what he was feeling. jealousy, anger, sadness, disappointment, surprise, resentment, regret, shame of himself, he was feeling it all.

he hated that she didn’t let him talk, that she didn’t let him explain why he was leaving. 

but when he actually thought about it, what was he gonna tell her? why was he really leaving? was it really the grad school he applied to? couldn’t he find one just as good there? did he really have to put all that distance between them to attend some school?

he knew the answer. he knew, but running away was easier than facing the truth.

he went back to his room, head hanging low, not sure on what to do. he walked in and looked at the half made bag, the clothes messily thrown in there.  he sighed, picked it up and moved it from the bed. he went to get his journal, hidden in the little drawer of his nightstand. 

it was an old leather journal, one he had ever since he was a teen, a place for him to express himself in a way that he couldn’t do with simple sentences and words, where he could scribble all kind of thoughts, draw some doodles, write some quotes from someone else that he liked, and sometimes some of his own. 

he chose a blank page, picked up his pen, and started writing what he couldn’t tell her, what he could barely admit to himself.

“so you were right, there’s always two:

the one who stays, and the one who’s leaving you.

hear me out, my apologies,

‘cause i’m not here for sympathy.”

—

4 years and 5 months and 3 weeks before the day.

he was leaving in a matter of hours. she knew that, but her pride still wouldn’t let her make the first step. during that week, she got to know the reason why he was leaving, thanks to an old classmate who somehow found out: he got into an amazing grad school, and she immediately knew there was no reason for him to turn down such an opportunity.

she knew she didn’t let him explain why he was leaving, and she regretted that, but that didn’t change the main problem: he was mad at her because she stopped being at his beck and call. he was so used to her putting him first than anyone else — especially herself — and now that she didn’t, he behaved like a spoiled little kid.

harry knew how much she cared for him, and how she would’ve dropped anything if he was ever in need. he knew and he used that knowledge somewhat against her: it felt like he saw as an ornament, that he could put up on a shelf and leave there to collect dust when he was bored and pick her back up once he was done with other ornaments. she felt disposable. she felt that that’s what she was to harry. 

she tried, she tried so hard to convince herself that it wasn’t the case, that harry missed her because he cared about her as a person and not because he saw her as someone he was used to.

but he was leaving in a matter of hours, and she didn’t hear from him ever since she stormed out of his apartment.

it was around 2am, and sleep just wouldn’t come to her. she didn’t know at what time his flight would leave, if he packed all the things if he was gonna need, if he remembered to pack the journal she has seen plenty of times but was never lucky enough to read. she knew it was like a safety blanket for him, that he brought it with him basically anywhere.

she kept turning in her bed, not able to find a comfortable position. she sighed, turned on her right side and faced the window of her bedroom. the sky was a deep blue, but clear. 

“maybe the flight will be smooth, then” she thought. 

she sighed, closed her eyes and begged sleep to come, but her mind was racing, mostly with the knowledge that her best friend was gonna leave and maybe never come back. and that he didn’t even think about apologizing to her, that he’d rather leave everything than face-

the sound of something hitting her bedroom window stopped her train of thoughts. was it hailing? no, it couldn’t be, the sky was clear.

she groaned and got up from her bed, put her arms around herself to somewhat maintain a little of the warmth she had in bed, and walked to look outside her window.

and who could be there, if not her dumbass of a best friend?

harry crouched down to pick up a few more pebbles, not ones big enough to break her window or else she would have a whole other reason to hate him.

his flight was at 10, so he still had a little time left and he couldn’t go away before seeing her. it was hard for him, to admit that he was in the wrong, that he was such an arrogant son of a bitch that he’d rather lose his best friend than admit he was jealous.

not that he’d admit that to her, he knew that much. but he also knew he had to apologize, even if it was at the last second.

once he found some good pebbles, he stood up and was getting ready to throw one once again. but at the window stood her, in her plaid pjs bottoms, looking at him.

he gave her a timid smile, and she gestured with her hand for him to come upstairs. 

she waited at her door, not knowing what to do. what was she gonna say? was it gonna be a nice moment or was it gonna be another fight? why was she feeling anxious with harry, the one person she never felt anxious with? she didn’t like feeling like this, not at all.

harry was waiting at her doorstep. if it was a different occasion, he would’ve used the set of keys she had made for him; but this wasn’t that kind of occasion, and maybe at the end of this night, if it didn’t go as he planned, he would’ve had to leave them there. he shook his head, trying to clear his mind, and raised his fist to knock on the door, but it opened before he could make contact with it. 

she stood there, almost timidly, unsure of what was gonna happen. 

“hi.” he murmured.

she finally looked at him, her eyes tired, but, heartbreakingly enough for harry, not with sleep. “hi. please, come in.” she moved aside, and let him in.

harry murmured a small /‘thank you’/,  and moved inside. he was standing right in the middle of the room, not knowing where to go, not knowing if he was even welcome in that place anymore. 

she looked at him kinda funnily, tilted her head and said: “you know you can also not stand there like a statue and-”

“i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry, darling.” he murmured, shaking his head slightly. “i’ve been a shit friend and what i did is awful, and i know this apology doesn’t mean anything, but-”

“harr-” she tried to interrupt.

“no, please, let me talk this time.” he said, and moved to sit on the couch. “you were right, i behaved like a brat. i’ve never done anything this wrong before, i know i screwed up and i know i let you down.” he took a deep breath. “i just want you to know that i’m not moving because of you and noah, but because i got accepted in this school in london,-”

“i- uh, i know.” she gulped. “congratulations.” 

he was kind of surprised, “oh, you know?” she nodded. “well, yeah- so i got into this school and i was very happy about it, but it killed me that i couldn’t celebrate that with you. and i’m not saying it was your fault, because it was definitely mine: i wanted you to be around 24/7 like it always has been and it was wrong of me. i’m happy for you and noah seems like an amazing guy, and you deserve nothing less. i’m so sorry.” he ended, looking deep into her eyes.

she went to sit down next to him, “can i talk now?” he nodded. “i accept your apology. i know it was hard for you to admit you were wrong, and i really appreciate it.” she took a breath. “i’m sad you didn’t tell me, yes. but what hurts me the most was feeling like i was disposable to you.” 

harry winced at that. “please, don’t say that, you’re killing me.”

she turned around to face him better. “i’m sorry, but it’s true, that’s how i felt. i know you don’t see me that way, i know it now, but it sure felt like it. to me, it was /‘hey, i’m moving to this cool place for however long and i didn’t care about telling you until the last second. see ya!’/” she took a breath, and went on. “but i’m glad you came here, and that you said all the things you said. thank you.”

harry lowered his head. “you shouldn’t have to thank me.” he murmured. “you didn’t deserve the way i treated you.”

“yeah,” she nodded, “you’re right, i didn’t. but you apologised and i accepted it. so now instead of being all sad, why don’t you tell me more about this fancy school?” she smiled, getting more comfortable on the couch. 

he smiled right back at her, and started talking about what the future had in store for him.

we’ll be alright, he thought.

they kept talking all night, laughing at the memories and full of faith in the future. harry stayed there as long as he could, soaking up all of /her/ he could get, but around 5am, their time was up: harry had to get ready for the airport, and she had to open at the coffee shop in a couple of hours.

“so” he gulped, “i guess this is goodbye.” 

“c’mon harry, don’t be so sad.” she smiled softly, although she was breaking a bit inside. but she added, “it’s not like we won’t see each other anymore! i’ll visit, you’ll visit, we’ll facetime all the time - oh, let’s make a pact! if not every night, at least 4 times a week we have to facetime. deal?”

harry smiled, and nodded. “deal.”

we’ll be alright, she thought.

they hug goodbye at the door, clinging to each other a little longer than usual. this wasn’t a goodbye, he wasn’t leaving her, this was just a see you later. he hoped she knew that.

now, it was time for the next chapter, for the both of them.

—

3 years and 1 month before the day.

“harry? can you hear me?” 

“yeah, just a sec-”

“as much as i love your ceiling, i’d like to see your face. what, did you get a haircut? is it bad?”

“no, you little shit, give me a second.” she could hear the smile on his lips. “here- there you go, i’m here.” he adjusted his phone, so she could see him well enough.

“hi! no haircut i see.” she smiled. “that’s for the better, i’ve always loved your long hair.” that sentence made harry’s heart flutter. it seemed that’s the only reaction it had whenever she was involved.

“i know you did, who can forget the tears you shed when i cut it short?” he smiled smugly.

she was immediately offended. “hey! it was the perfect length for me to braid it, you looked so pretty. my reaction was more than justified.” she pouted.

“alright, alrig-”

“baby? here’s your tea.” a deeper voice came through his speaker. of fucking course. 

her face lit up as soon as the person who spoke came into the room. “ah, thanks baby!” she puckered her lips, and noah gave her a soft quick peck, before realising she wasn’t alone.

“oh hi harry!” noah waved. “how’s it going? everything good?”

harry swallowed his envy and his jealousy, barely. “yeah-” he cleared his voice. “yeah, everything is good. you?”

“oh yeah, thank you! i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt.” he smiled a bit embarrassed. “i didn’t realise it was facetime time, but i’ll get out of your hair immediately. bye harry!” he said louder, and then added softly. “bye dear.” he gave her a quick peck on the top of her head, and left the room. 

she didn’t stop smiling throughout the whole interaction. and that made harry’s blood boil. but it wasn’t the time to be upset now, now that she was in front of him. 

“sorry, since he moved in we are trying to figure out a schedule for the both of us, i forgot he got off early today.” she said softly. 

yeah, he moved in. she broke the news to harry a couple of weeks before and he had to pretend to be thrilled about it. he couldn’t help it: not even being oceans apart from her helped him ease the pain, and also the fact that he had been gone for over a year didn’t make this any easier. 

“it’s okay.” he said, pretending. “how’s it going with you guys?” he’d prefer a stake through his heart rather than hearing her response, but he also knew he had to ask, being her friend. what if she wasn’t happy?

“oh, it’s amazing.” she smiled. “it’s just like- getting extra time with your best friend, you know? like, you know when you are out with a friend and you just don’t want to leave them and go home?” he nodded. he felt that way every time he hang out with her, and harry wanted to smack his old self for not doing something about it when he had the chance. “and now, i don’t have to wish for him to not leave, because he’s here! so yeah, it’s pretty great.” 

he nodded silently, a soft smile on his lips. even if all he wanted was to be noah right then, he couldn’t help but be excited for her: she was so happy, happier than he had ever seen her. “that’s amazing, love. you deserve it.” 

she smiled as well, “thank you, harry. and i finally don’t have to fight with someone who steals all the covers and leaves me in the cold!” she added, trying to lighten the mood.

he pretended to be shocked and offended. “okay, that happened one— or two times if we’re exaggerating, and it was cold! i had to!” 

their banter went back and forth for a little while, laughing like always. harry tried to ignore the heartache the thought of them being all domestic gave him, at least up until they’d end their call. so he pushed his thoughts aside, and focused on enjoying the company of his best friend.

“alright, i’m afraid i have to go now.” she pouted. “but i’ll talk to you tomorrow, or in the following days? just- whenever you want! alright?” 

“yeah, of course.” he smiled. “goodbye, darling. talk soon.”

“goodbye, harry.”

“bye.”

once the call ended, harry threw his head back, groaning. why did it all have to be so difficult? why couldn’t he have realised how he really felt before? why couldn’t he have realised it when he slept over at her place, when he could feel her hair on his face, her body close to his? why couldn’t he have realised it before she fell for someone who didn’t steal all the covers?

as all the other times when his thoughts were too loud, he opened his desk drawer and looked for his — now even more — worn leather journal, flipping to the pages to /that/ particular page, and got his pen ready. the ink flowed easily on the paper. 

“cause i don’t want to hear about him, 

how he’s holding you better at night.”

—

1 year and 4 months before the day.

“what the fuck?” she screamed through the speaker. “what the actual fuck? when?” 

he chuckled. “in a couple of months. i thought it was better telling you face to face, or at least through a phone call, rather than a text.” 

“and you were right! oh my god, i can’t believe you’re coming home in two months.” he couldn’t see her face, but he could hear she was smiling. she went on, voice a bit quieter this time around. “for good? are you coming home for good?”

“technically, the UK is my home-”

“oh shut it, styles.” she interrupted. “you know what i mean.” he did. and he knew that home was the right term, because home was wherever she was. 

“yeah, for good i think, or at least for a long while.” he said, stopping at a red light. 

his brakes made a screeching sound, telling her exactly what he was doing. 

“wait- are you driving? it’s not safe! i’m ending the call, we’ll talk once-”

“hey, slow down. i am driving, and you’re on speaker. i called you as soon as i was out of the office because i couldn’t hold it in any longer.” he said, smiling. 

“aw, you’re cute when you want to.” she breathed a laugh. “but now, let’s talk business: your homecoming party!”

“as i said, since i’m from the UK, i’m actually already-”

“oh, fuck off!”

—

1 year and 2 months before the day.

“noah, kill the lights! everyone hide and be quiet!”

“yes, ma’am.” one of their friends whispered.

she had been behaving a bit like a drill sergeant, but she couldn’t care less: her best friend was finally coming home and nothing — absolutely nothing — could go wrong. she missed him so much, and she couldn’t wait to share the news. 

just not tonight, because tonight was all about him and him only. 

her phone screen lit up, an incoming call from harry. she swiped her finger on the screen and answered him. “hello?”

“hey! i’m almost at your place, are you home? i didn’t see your car.” that was because she had carefully parked it a couple of blocks from her apartment to sell her story.

“yeah, sorry, i got caught up at work! i’ll be home in a little bit, i’ll try to get out of here as soon as possible! i’m so sorry.” she lied through her teeth.

“no, uh, don’t be- it’s fine.” he sounded a bit sad and perhaps disappointed. 

all was going according to plan.

“please, go in! i don’t know if you still have your key, but there’s one under the doormat!; make yourself at home!”

“of course i still have it, what do you think?” he chuckled. “alright, i’m going up the stairs, i’ll see you soon.”

“alright! bye for now!”

“bye bye.” harry murmured, ending the call. he put his phone in his back pocket, before jogging up the last flight of stairs. once he was in front of the door, he took out his keys, but stopped. “please, don’t let noah be home.” he thought. 

he put the key in the lock, turned it to open the door, and walked in the place that felt like home more than anywhere in the world.

as he was closing the door, the lights came up. “what the-”

“SURPRISE!!” her living room was filled with their friends, all smiling at him. but he only saw one face in the midst of them, because her smile was brighter than all the others. 

“fuck me, you guys were about to make me drop dead on the floor.” he chuckled and the others joined him. he pointed his finger towards his best friend, “you fucker.”

“welcome home, harry!” she said smiling, going towards him to wrap him in a hug. 

he was home.

the party was going splendidly: almost everyone was tipsy, someone more than the others — harry talked to everyone who was there, but all he really wanted was to talk to her.

“it’s nice seeing your face in real life.” he slurred, a bit intoxicated.

“oh well, thank you, i guess?” she smiled, and reached for her drink. 

and that’s when the light hit something sparkly on her finger, and harry’s heart fell to his stomach. his mouth dry, his eyes unblinking.

“what is that?” he murmured, so low she could barely hear it.

she frowned, and followed his line of sight. when she understood what he was looking at, she quickly lowered her hand to her side. “fuck, i forgot to take it off before you came here.” she looked up at him with her eyes wide. 

did she plan on keeping this hidden from me? he couldn’t understand what was going on, his mind was spinning from the news, and the alcohol in his system wasn’t helping.  

“i wanted to tell you the news in person, but i wanted tonight to be just about you! i was gonna tell you tomorrow or in the following days, fuck i screwed it all up now.” she groaned and put her hand on her eyes. 

harry shook his head, trying to find his voice. “no, no, it’s okay.” he breathed a deep breath. “congratulations.”

she looked at him with a crooked smile. “thank you, harry.” she paused. “i’m still mad at myself, it was supposed to be a cute moment, i had it all planned out! i was gonna take you to breakfast and tell you and then i even wrote you a little riddle to ask you to be my best-” she slapped her hand over her mouth. “oh fuck! i can’t believe i literally ruined it all now!”

well, wasn’t it just the cherry on top of the sundae of awful that was his life? 

not only did he have to watch the girl of his dreams get married: he literally had a front row seat at the altar. 

his head was spinning so fast he could barely think straight, the realisation that he lost her, that he lost all his chances to have her as more than a friend, that he threw away all the possibilities he had, all of this broke his heart in two. nothing he went through ever hurt him like this, nothing ever made him want to throw up, cry, scream and runaway all at once. 

he didn’t know what to say, what to feel: he knew noah was good to her and that she deserved nothing less, so why was he so angry? was he such a selfish idiot that he couldn’t even be happy for his best friend? 

“so, since it’s all out, would you be my best man?” she asked him, her eyes full of hope staring at him.

and what could he do if not say yes?

he didn’t stay long at the party after the big news blew up in his face, leaving with the excuse of being jet lagged. he tried telling noah he would drive back by himself — he really did — but the man wouldn’t stand down, saying he had drunk too much and it was not safe for him to drive in that moment.

harry would have loved nothing more than to find a string of bad qualities in him, in order to make her leave him, but there was nothing: noah was a good guy, a good friend and evidently an even better boyfriend.

asshole.

the drive back to his place was embarrassing, silent and just weird, but probably it was more for harry than for noah. once they got to his place, harry basically jumped out of the car, murmuring a low “goodnight”. 

but before driving away, noah rolled down the car window and called after him.

“hey, harry!” harry turned around, hoping this would be over soon. he went on, “i just wanted to say i’m very happy you’re back, and that i’m glad you’re her best man. she was so excited about asking you.” noah smiled. “just- thank you in advance for everything. i know you’ll be on the receiving end of her wedding planning freak outs.” he chuckled. 

harry nodded slowly, feeling emptier and emptier inside. “of course, no problem. bye.” 

noah waved and pulled up his car window. 

once the car drove away, harry rushed into his apartment, and slammed the door. 

he couldn’t help but let the tears run free, finally letting his pain overtake him. his breath was coming out in small puffs, and he couldn’t control the agonising sounds he was letting out. it felt like he was living his worst nightmare, and actually he really was.

he knew. he had known all those years, he knew she was in love with him. and he always ignored it — “for the friendship”, he told himself. and of course, he only realised his love for her when she moved on. when she found someone who loved her as much as she loved him.

maybe if i try harder to be a better person, a better friend for her. he thought.

maybe if i did something differently.

but perhaps, the best way for him to be a better friend was being there for her as her best friend and best man, and to not interfere. he would have to put his feelings aside, and accept that he had a chance — multiple ones, at that — and didn’t take it. and he didn’t really have the right to cry now that he was too late. now that he realised that this was how she must’ve felt all those years.

he stood up, and went to his half unpacked bedroom, and picked up his journal. the page was easy to find now, a picture of them signalling the pages filled with his regret. 

the ink flowed easily, and so did the tears.

“do you know what it’s like to fall in love from the outside?

and i don’t know, but i've been trying for you, for me.

now i know what it’s like to fall in love from the outside.”

—

6 months and 1 week before the day.

“i swear to god, if this shop doesn’t have a nice dress i’m getting married in sweats.”

harry laughed at her. “c’mon now, you drama queen.”

she turned to look at him, shocked at his reaction. “easy for you to say, mister. you just have to find a tux that fits or wear one you already have! i don’t happen to have a white dress with a big puffy skirt in my wardrobe, unfortunately.” 

harry smiled at her antics: this was definitely not the first freak out about the wedding. a couple of months before it was the invitations, and the debate on what shade of white was the best one to pick. harry got a bunch of smacks to his head because he couldn’t see the difference between a pearly white and a less pearly white. shocking.

saying she was stressed was a huge understatement, she could plan everything till the last detail, but you never know how many things could go wrong: you could lose your veil, the flowers may not be delivered, the dress could get stained… so many things he couldn’t have control on and it was driving her crazy.

and now, the next mission was finding the right dress. all the ones she had tried on were either too big, too small, too sexy, too modest, or made her look like a meringue. and the stress was getting to her, because she had been more whiny than usual and she could cry at the idea of trying on yet another dress. 

but there was one last shop they had to look at, and she hoped it would be where she could find the dress of her dreams. 

the shop was filled to the brim with white gowns, and harry was praying to god they would find the dress. he was sat down on one of those comfy sofas, two older ladies following the bride-to-be in the changing room, getting her ready for him to see the dresses.

she came out and from the look on her face, harry could tell she was most definitely not amused, but refrained from talking her thoughts out loud so not to make the shop assistants feel bad. 

“we’ll be right over, dear. just call us if or when you want to try on another dress.” the woman on her right gave her arm a light squeeze, and walked away with her colleague. 

she turned around to look at harry, shoulders slumped, a frown on her face.

“i look awful, don’t i?”

you never do, he thought. “why do you say that?” he said.

“it’s all wrong: the skirt is wrong, the neckline isn’t good, i hate the way my arms look in this, it’s just- ugh.” she sighed. 

harry could see how she was getting worked up, so he told her what he always did whenever she was going crazy about the wedding: “hey, take a deep breath. c’mon.” he did the exercise with her. “breathe in - 1, 2, 3, 4. keep it in - 1, 2, 3, 4. and, breathe out - 1, 2, 3, 4. that’s it, keep going.”

she did this a couple more times, and she could feel herself calm down. 

“oof- okay. i think i’m ready to try on a couple more dresses. would you mind calling the ladies for me?”

“of course. go back in there, i’ll be right here.” he squeezed her hand, and went to find the shop assistants.

after trying three more dresses, she was tired and mostly disappointed. she just wanted to get over with this dress hunt, so after the third failure, she turned to harry. “okay, i’m done. i’m getting out of this and i wanna go home.”

harry nodded. “okay, whatever you want.. but may i propose something?” he inquired. “can i see if i can find a dress for you? just- give me five minutes, and if you don’t like it we’ll be on our way. okay?”

“mmh. okay.”

so off he went. 

and boy, did he found a dress. he knew he hit the jackpot, and couldn’t wait to see how she looked in it. almost jumping on the couch from the excitement, he patiently waited.

she was definitely worth the wait. 

it was a bit bigger, and he knew she’d want to make some alterations, but he also knew there wasn’t a dress more perfect for her. 

she was beaming with joy. a smile so big it must’ve hurt her cheeks, but she didn’t care. that was the dress.

up until she saw the price tag.

“goddamn, styles, did you really have to find it in the priciest part of the shop?” she exclaimed and harry looked confused, so she continued. “i couldn’t get this dress in my wildest dreams! it’s too much.”

harry stood up and went to stand behind her, in front of the mirror, and put his hands on her shoulders. “i’m sure if you cut a little on some things, you can afford this. god, i would even pay for what you can’t pay yourself. just- look at you. you’re beautiful.” he looked at her eyes reflecting on the mirror, and saw the darker pinkish shade that coloured her cheeks. 

“i do look nice, don’t i?” she scrunched her nose and smiled. 

“plenty nice.” harry smiled back.

and so the dress was found, at last. she talked to the store ladies for the alterations and such, and afterwards harry walked her home.

“thank you, H. i can’t believe you found my dress!”

“hey, my last name is “styles” after all, isn’t it?”

she looked at him, jaw dropped. “jesus christ, that was worse than your knock knock jokes.” 

harry went back to his apartment, ready to finally let his walls down and stop pretending seeing her in that white dress wasn’t making him want to die. 

“god, what a mess.”

the rest of the day went by, he was just about to make dinner when the doorbell rang. he wasn’t expecting company, but maybe it was his 83-year-old neighbour needing something. 

he went to open the door, and he wasn’t expecting to find his best friend standing there, her face stained with tears, makeup running down from her eyes.

“may i come in?” she murmured, voice broken. harry felt his knees buckle, all he wanted was to hug her and make her problems go away. but that was the thing; what had happened to reduce her to this state?

harry moved to the side. “of course, please.”

she made her way into his home, so warm, so familiar. she asked him if she could go to the restroom to freshen up, so now he was waiting for her in his bedroom, as always when they had to talk over things. 

once she came into his view, he saw that her cheeks were still flushed, her nose red and her make up still a bit smudged. he pat the bed and silently invited her to sit down, so she could talk about whatever was wrong. 

she sat down and kept quiet for a couple of minute, until the silent tears began streaming once again. 

“god, i’m so sorry.” she sniffled. “i must seem so ridiculous right now.”

harry shook his head. “no, no, absolutely not. just- what happened?” did something happen with noah? was she safe?

“it’s nothing with noah, that i can tell you. or i don’t know, maybe it is at some capacity. it’s just-” she sighed, and closed her eyes in order not to break down again. “i’m a bit overwhelmed, i guess? the dress shop called to tell me that they’d have the dress back in a couple of weeks so i could go in and try it. and while i should be ecstatic about that, all i felt was anxiety: i couldn’t breathe and i was thinking that maybe this was all happening too fast and that perhaps it’s better to call off all of this and just reschedule it.” she took a deep breath, and added lowly. “or maybe just call it off for good.”

harry’s mind was spinning, this was his chance, to swoop in and get the girl. 

but he didn’t want to. because it wasn’t right, to her first and foremost. but also to him, because if she wanted to be with him, to really be with him, she had to be in the right state of mind. 

plus, he would never, ever do something this manipulating to anyone, especially not her. 

“i see. uhm- i, i don’t really know what to say.” he paused, while she wiped her eyes, getting makeup all over her hands and around her eyes. “i just want you to know that i’m always here for you, and that if you change your mind i’ll be the one driving the getaway car.” he tried to make a joke, and he succeeded in making her crack a smile through the tears. “i want you to be sure of what you do, whether it’s getting married, rescheduling or calling it off. and i also want you to know that getting cold feet is absolutely normal before any big change. and god, this is a huge one.” 

“it’s just- what if it’s not what i want it to be, what i want my marriage to look like? what if it all changes?” she inquired.

“why would it change? it’s just a title, instead of boyfriend and girlfriend, you’ll be husband and wife. you can see it as just that, if that’s what makes you worry.”

“but what if i’m not enough for him? what if he’s not enough for me? what if we end up resenting each other down the line?” she sniffled and accidentally wiped her hands on his sheets, leaving a trail of makeup in its wake. “fuck, i’m sorry. damn it.”

“don’t worry about that.” harry smiled softly. “as for the rest, i’m not sure i’m the guy you should be talking to right now. i’m not married-” and i’m not the one you’re marrying, he wanted to add. “but i know that communication is the key in relationships, and even if it’s hard at times, it’s the right thing to do. who knows, maybe noah is having the same doubts? maybe he’s scared as well and doesn’t know if he should or should not talk to you about it?” 

she seemed to sober up little by little, understanding that harry was right, that she needed to talk to noah and work it all through with him, no matter the outcome. so she nodded, and agreed with harry. “yeah, yeah you’re right, i should talk it over with noah. i’m sorry for all of this.” she breathed a smile. “god, i’m such a mess.”

“hey, none of that. it’s fine and absolutely normal to have doubts, i’m glad you came to me.” he smiled. “want me to walk you home?”

“no, no, i drove here, i’m good.” she looked up to him, opened her ams and took him in a hug. once her face was right next to his ear, she said softly “you really are my best man, do you know that?” 

not good enough to be the one you want to spend your life with, clearly. “thanks.”

night came and enveloped his room, but sleep refused to close his eyes: harry was twisting and turning, scared of the future for the first time in his life. it was all getting so close, too close and too fast. he wasn’t ready to lose her, he wasn’t ready to wave goodbye any future they could have had together.

he wasn’t ready, and yet did nothing to change it. the only thing he did was picking up that damn journal, and adding to the lines he had already written. 

“that nice dress in my wildest dreams,

lipstick stains you left still on my sheets.”

—

2 months and 6 days before the day.

“what about shots?” 

“yeah!” various voices exclaimed. 

“god, no.”

“harry, i planned this bachelorette party two months early because i didn’t want to be hangover close to the wedding. c’mon old man!” she tugged his arm to make him stand up and accompany her to the bar, and harry scoffed.

“can’t believe i have to force you to do shots, it was always the way around.” she huffed while struggling to guide him to the bar.

harry laughed through his nose. “that was because we were younger. you’re gonna hate yourself tomorrow morning, and i’m gonna hate you too if you force me to drink my body weight.”

“okay grandpa.” she said in a deep voice, mocking his accent. 

so, shots they did. god, so many shots.

they were giggling like teenagers, as if they were back to their college days.

she had missed the feeling, and harry couldn’t not feel the same.

they couldn’t talk without laughing every two sentences, and each others laugh made the other laugh even harder, and so it became an endless cycle of hysterical laughter that didn’t let them breathe. 

“so, bride to be,” harry slurred, dopey smile adorning his face. “how are we feeling about the big day?”

she took another shot, squinted her eyes from the burn, and answered, voice as slurred as his. “we are feeling good right now.” she laughed. “very good. i’m happy.” 

“good, good.” harry nodded, his voice unconvincing.

“hey, look at me.” she grabbed his chin and turned his face to face her. “are you-” she stopped, and stared at him for a second. “god, you have amazing eyes, you know that?” 

harry laughed and squinted his eyes, “okay, now i’m sure you’re wasted.” he tore himself away from her hands, even if he didn’t want to. 

“heyyyy, am not!” she said, faking offence. “what makes you say that?”

“because, silly, you always used to say that when we were partying in college. once you said i had “amazing eyes”, i knew it was time to take you home.” 

“aw, look at you, knowing all about me.” she singsonged. “you’re the best of friends, you know that?” she grinned. “any man, woman, anyone would be lucky to have you by their side, bub. i mean it.” 

harry smiled, but his heart sunk a little. 

yeah, anyone. anyone, but you.

“thank you, darling. no more drinks for you, though.”

“aw, you’re such a buzzkill.” she whined. “maybe just another one? just one, i promise!”

getting home was hard, knowing he was gonna be alone was even harder. only his journal was waiting for him, laying on the opposite side of his bed, the words already ready to fill up those pages.

“when i hear “amazing eyes”,

it breaks my heart evеry time.”

—

3 weeks and 2 days before the day.

“hey! come on in.” harry stepped aside to let her make her way in. “and you brought chinese food!”

“yeah well, i figured you’d be hungry.” she came in, left the food onto the kitchen table and started taking her coat off. “and i also had to bribe you with something for the favour i need to ask you.” 

harry took her coat and her scarf and went to place it on his bed. “of course you’d be nice to me just because you need something.” he scoffed. “what a friend you are.”

“hey, it’s not true! i’m always nice to you, but i really need help and we both know you’re the one who has a better way with words between the two of us.”

harry came back to the kitchen, where she was setting the table. the scene looked and felt so domestic, so homey. so heartbreakingly familiar. “and how would you know?”

she laughed while opening up the containers. “are you kidding? i always saw you writing in that worn leather journal in school. maybe it was your diary, but i wouldn’t know because /someone/ would never let me read anything from it.” 

“that’s because you’re nosy and that journal is private.” he grabbed the plates. “c’mon now, i’m starving. we can talk about what you need help with while we eat.”

so, apparently what she needed help with was writing her wedding vows.

her fucking wedding vows.

harry almost choked on his food when she spoke. 

“your-” he gulped. “your wedding vows?” 

help with your promises, your deepest declarations of love for a man with whom you’re gonna spend your life? a man who’s gonna wake up to you every morning while i become the sad uncle to your beautiful children? really?

“yeah! i’m desperate, i wouldn’t have asked you if i wasn’t in deep shit right now. i’m going crazy and the wedding is getting close and i don’t know what to do other than beg for your help, so please, please-” she was getting worked up. 

she had tried to do that by herself, she really did: she just couldn’t put any words down, not any that sounded good anyway. which is why harry was her last resort, she knew he was modest, but he had a way with words. 

his good looks got him with people through college, yes, but the boy was a smooth talker. people were drawn to him by the looks, but they were truly captured by his words. 

so, who better then the guy she used to have a crush on for years to help her write her promises to her future husband? yeah, the situation was desperate.

“uhm.” harry scratched the back of his head. how the hell was he supposed to help her with such a thing? “i- i just don’t know if-”

“hey, it’s fine if you don’t want to. i can just try to look up on the internet.” she smiled, not a real smile. “i just- i guess i wanted them to be special. and it kills me i can’t do this by myself.” she shrugged, as if it didn’t matter, but harry could see how much this thing made her sad. 

“no, uhm- it’s okay. i think we can work on something.”

as soon as he said those words, she smiled big, and harry knew he made the right choice. “thank you so much, harry. thank you. you have no idea how much this means to me.” 

so now they were on the couch, brainstorming ideas. 

“so, i said you want the vows to be more personal, obviously. so maybe, something about what you did together? like, what about your first date?”

“oh yeah, it was nice! i invited him over to make some brownies for maddie’s birthday party, do you remember?” did he remember? he fucking suggested it. they would always bake the cakes, or any sweets, for their friends’ birthdays, but that day he was busy — had a date with a person he wanted to go out with for so long, and it ended up being mind-blowingly boring  — so he suggested she invites noah over to help her out. 

and then that was it.

he still would curse himself for that stupid idea, for suggesting that date, for suggesting a thing that was usually just for the two of them as a date with another person. he was jealous, incredibly so, and he just wished she had him in his mind whenever he thought about that date. he was selfish, and he knew that, but that’s what anger and envy brings you to do. 

“yeah, i remember.” he nodded. “then maybe you can write down about that.”

“i remember how we ended up making the brownies all too runny.” she laughed. “and i had more flour in our hair than the one we ended up using for the baking. it was such a lovely date.” still smiling, she looked up to him. “it kinda made me remember how we used to bake for our friends, we’d always make it end in a food fight. it was so fun.”

harry nodded, a bit cocky in knowing that what he wanted — for her to remember him when she thought about that first date. “i bet it was.” 

they went on, sharing ideas and lines back and forth, until she could see harry’s eyes closing. “okay H, time for me to leave you alone and make you go to sleep. let me just help you with the stuff in the kitchen.” she stood up and went towards the kitchen, but harry grabbed her wrist to stop her.

“hey no, leave it there: i’ll tidy up tomorrow morning, i’m just to tired right now. i just wanna go to sleep.”

tilting her head to the side, she looked at him softly. “okay, okay. goodnight sleepy head, i’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“nighty night. can you lock the door please?” 

“of course, harry. go to bed now, you’re spent!”

harry was tired, yes. physically, of course, but emotionally? he was tired on another level, he couldn’t stand talking about their vows a second longer. he felt like he was gonna be sick, pass out or die if they did, so he kinda exaggerated his tiredness, so that this could be over and he could just drown himself in his sadness and pain. 

as soon as she was out the door, and he heard her walking away, he let himself break down. he got up from the couch, tears staining his cheeks, trying so hard to catch a breath between all the sobs. this was killing him, ever so slowly. 

he walked into his room, turning on the lights and noticed her coat and scarf was still there. he thought about texting her about it, but he couldn’t even see straight: he was not okay. he had not been in a while, and it was getting so much worse with everyday the wedding got closer, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. he wanted to scream, he wanted to put his fist through the wall, to let the world know that he wasn’t okay with what was happening, that it wasn’t right, not in the slightest; he knew he was late, he knew. but why couldn’t he have one last chance? just one chance. 

“fuck.” he sobbed. “fuck this.”

the venomous words wrote themselves on the page, adding to the long list of words that described all the regret, the jealousy, the anger that was boiling in him. 

“i don’t want to hear about him,

and these songs you continue to write.

i was with you when you wrote that line,

it was me that you had on your mind.”

.

harry woke up to the sound of his doorbell, his mouth dry and his eyes puffy, he didn’t even realise he fell asleep. shaking himself awake, he looked around the room before hearing the doorbell once again.

he grunted in response, and got up to see who could be looking for him at— well, he didn’t even know what time it was. was it morning already?

“hey, sleepyhead! god, i wore you out last night, huh?” she laughed, while making her way in. “oh my, the kitchen is a mess! do you need help?” 

harry was a bit dumbfounded, still half asleep. “wh-what are you doing here?” he cleared his throat. “did we have plans or-”

“oh no! no, i just came by to pick up my coat. i realised yesterday once i was home but didn’t want to come back and wake you up, so i thought it would be better if i came by this morning. didn’t think i’d end up waking you up.” she laughed. “can i go get it?”

he nodded, “yeah, yeah, of course. i’ll make some coffee. want some?”

“as if i’d ever say no.” she smiled and walked away.

once she entered the bedroom, she understood that she literally dragged him out of bed to open the door: the bed was all messed up, and the state of his hair and face clearly showed that he hadn’t even brushed his teeth. 

she looked around a little, finally finding her coat and her scarf on the dresser, near the window. since she was in there, she decided to tidy up a little, open the windows, change the air. 

while she was making the bed, she saw something familiar coking out from under the pillow. could it really be…? yes, it was: the untouchable journal.

she was shocked: never once in her life did she got so close to that book without harry tearing it away from her sight before she could even get a closer glimpse. she didn’t want to invade his privacy, she just wanted to look at the outside of it: she saw that there were little scribbles on the cover, made with a black pen, words, stars, doodles. it’s all so harry, she thought. 

but then, one thing caught her attention: they were photo-booth pictures, depicting two youngsters, smiling and making silly faces at the camera. harry had his hair a bit longer, she would call him “prince harry” at that stage: he was making a kissy face to the camera, and she was beside him, smiling deeply and looking at him with nothing but pure love; this was taken when she hadn’t met noah yet, and there was no one else on her mind. she remembers harry dragging her into the booth. they were going around shopping, looking for a new shirt for harry and a new outfit for her to wear at their graduation, when harry caught sight of the machine. he stopped in his tracks and grabbed her wrist, making a million of butterflies bat their wings in her stomach. 

“we always take a million pictures but never print them! we always say we will but we never get around to do that, so now i have the perfect solution.”

and when could she ever say no to him?

she smiled looking at the picture at the top, reminiscing those days. she decided to open the journal, just to see the other pictures under the top one: one with harry sticking his tongue out, another one with her making bunny ears behind his head, and the last one was her favourite, of course. harry grabbed her chin and planted a wet kiss on her cheek, making her turn a bright red. she remembers how flustered she was by that touch, and how she felt like she was walking on air for the rest of the day.

her cheeks warmed at the memory, smiling at the silliness of teenage feelings, but she cherished the memory of them the most. 

she couldn’t believe harry kept it all those years, she thought he would’ve lost it by then, with the movings and everything. 

while she was going to close the book, her eyes dropped to the words scribbled on those pages.

at the top of the page, written in uppercase, three letters, underlined: him. 

she knew it was wrong, she knew it was a violation of his privacy and that he would have any right to hate her, but her curiosity got the best of her and she ended up starting reading the rest of the words, of what she soon realised was a poem, or a song.

“no fucking way.” she smiled. “that’s so cool.”

she read the first four lines, frowning at the somber tone of the lyrics. what was he apologising for? 

she kept reading and reading, her heart sinking more and more into her chest, the realisation of what was going on hitting her like a truck. no, it couldn’t be. it couldn’t.

“that nice dress in my wildest dreams, lipstick stains you left still on my sheets.” she read out loud. “no, no, what-” but she went on, she couldn’t stop now. 

“when i hear ‘amazing eyes’, it breaks my heart evеry time?” her breath was shallow, her eyes misty. “what the fuck is-”

“hey darling, are you okay? you’ve been in here a whi-” harry’s voice died in his throat at the sight of his best friend white as if she had seen a ghost, holding his most precious possession, the air abandoning his lungs. shit.

she gulped, and didn’t tear her eyes away from the page, her voice low. “harry, what- what is this?” her hands were shaking.

harry was speechless, mind blank, not a thought going in his brain. he didn’t know what to say or do, aside being slightly defensive. “what are you doing reading my book?” he uttered, voice raspy.

“i didn’t mean to,” she murmured, still not looking at him. “i just picked it up to put it on your nightstand, but i saw the pictures of us inside and opened it, to get a better look at the picture and that was supposed to be it.” she inhaled deeply, calming herself. “before i found what you wrote.” and then, she finally looked up at him. her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks red. he didn’t like the sight of it. and he didn’t like what came after. “please, tell me the truth.” she pleaded. “is this about me? about me and.. and my relationship?” 

“what? no, it’s not-” he tried lying, pathetically, making her shake her head and read straight from his journal.

“i was with you when you wrote that line, it was me that you had in your mind?” she read almost whispering. “‘that line’- oh my fucking god, my wedding vows? you wrote this stuff last night.” she looked at him with a look he had never seen before, not towards him at least: pure disappointment, shock, disbelief. her voice was barely a whisper, as if all the air had been sucked out the room. “harry, i’m getting married in a fucking month. you’re my fucking best man, what the fuck-” she raised her head toward the ceiling, her hands covering her eyes. 

harry murmured lowly. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, i can’t even-”

“since when?”

harry hoped he didn’t understand what she meant. “what?” 

“since when have you been writing this. since when have you been having feelings for me.” she said, her voice raising slightly.

“i-i don’t think it matters right now, honest-”

“oh, but it does.” she smiled, a sarcastic smile, tears falling silently down her cheeks. “it does matter, because it will make me understand what kind of feelings we’re talking about. tell me.”

harry stayed quiet, not daring opening up his mouth, because he knew what she would be thinking if he told her that he fell for her only after she got with noah. and that the passive aggressive decision to move to another country without telling her was all dictated by his jealousy. he knew she would hate him as soon as he told her that, as soon as she realised he was just a boy, a kid that would get jealous if anyone was to touch his toys. 

he felt ashamed, so ashamed of those being the circumstances in which he found out about his feelings, but they were so far from that now: he loved her, like a man would love another person, not like a teenage boy does.

apparently, he didn’t need to reply, because she already knew the answer. she scoffed, drying her tears. “oh, so it was after i met noah, then. let me guess, around the time you were ready to flee the country without telling me?” she asked bitterly. 

harry didn’t know what to say, aside from apologising, again and again, head hanging low. “i’m sorry.”

“you knew.” she pointed her finger towards him. “you knew i loved you, you did and you always played with my feelings. “‘do you know what’s like to fall in love from the outside’? are you fucking serious? do i know? i was in love with you for years and i always pretended you didn’t know, but i know you did, anyone could see it. and you never did something to let me know if you wanted more or if you didn’t want me that way, you’d always want me to stay in between, huh?” her smile was chilling. harry had never seen her like this, and those words were like knives going straight through his heart. he knew the truth was hard to face, but this was something else. he thought that dying would hurt less. “i can’t fucking believe this, it’s too much, i- i have to leave.”

harry shook his head vigorously, placing himself in front of the door. “no, please, don’t leave.” 

she stopped in front of him, shaking her head no. “let me leave. i don’t have anything to say to you.”

“but i do-”

“i don’t care, harry. i don’t fucking care about what you have to say now, because now it’s too late! you had years, years to tell me, and you didn’t even have the balls to say something to me, i had to find out you wrote a fucking song about me and noah three weeks before my wedding day.” she looked up at him, brows furrowed. “don’t you see how everything is messed up now? do you really not realise it?” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before pronouncing the last sentence harry would hear from her. “i really don’t care about what you have to say now. move out of the way.”

he did. the sound of the door slamming shut was almost as loud as his heart shattering in a million pieces. 

he collapsed on his knees, head hanging low, guttural sobs ripping out of his chest. 

on the other side of the door, she was in the same state, sat in her car, hitting the steering wheel, wishing she could slap Fate in its face, for this sad joke it made. how was this fair? how could they recover from this? most importantly, would they be able to recover from this? 

harry couldn’t remember a time he felt so desperate, so angry, so sad, so all over the place. all the plates that were out on the table were now smashed on the ground, angry tears leaving their trail on his face, his knuckles bruised from the punch he gave the wall. 

“fuck!” he screamed, after the hit. the tears of pain mixed with the ones of sadness, the ones that were testament of the fact that he knew it was all over. all the friendship, all the love was gone. there was nothing to rebuild, there was nothing he could do. 

it was over. there was no coming back from this.

—

4 days before the day.

her sister’s phone ringed with a new message.

“Hi, it’s Harry. I’m sorry if this is last minute, but I cannot come to the wedding. Hope everything is going well.”

her sister looked at the bride to be, doing her last dress check: she looked amazing. she was so happy, so smiley, glowing: harry being there would’ve ruined it, she knows that. but still, she couldn’t believe her sister wasn’t marrying that curly headed boy she was so smitten of. she always thought they’d end up together, someday. especially after she knew he was into her as much as she was.

“everything okay?” the bride asked her sister. “did one of the caterers say something is wrong?” she nodded towards her phone.

she shook her head. “no, no. everything’s fine. you look beautiful.” she smiled. “noah is a lucky man.”

—

the wedding day.

the church was packed with people: friends, family, coworkers, everyone who was ready to celebrate the new life of the happy couple. everything looked so festive, flowers all around: she chose sunflowers, like he knew she would’ve. the day was bright, as if the sky itself wanted to be at its best for her, for her big day, because nature knew she deserved nothing else. 

the last guests hurried themselves in and took their seats, everyone buzzing about seeing the bride walk in. noah was up at the end of the altar, his brother putting his hands on his shoulder and smiling at him, trying to come up with a joke to make him less anxious. noah laughed a bit, still very much anxious, but also happy: today was the start of their new life together, him and the girl of his dreams. this was the best day of his life, and he wished it would never end. 

she could see the church from the car window, and squeezed her sister’s hand as a reaction: the day was here. it was a long time coming, but she couldn’t be happier. 

well, maybe she could, but she won’t think about that today. not today, not ever. today was the beginning of a new life, full of love and safety. 

her sister turned around and smiled at her, squeezing her hand back three times. once they were parked, the maid of honour got out of the car, and noah’s heart jumped in his throat. it was really happening.

the june sun shimmered down her gown, making her look ethereal. an angel walked into the church and was then walking down the aisle, heading towards her future, with the man she loved more than anyone in the world.

and the man who was too late stood at the end of the church, hidden from her. 

he couldn’t be away, he couldn’t bring himself to miss out on her big day, no matter how painful it may be for him. so he stood at the far end, hidden from everyone. 

when she stepped foot in the church, his breath hitched. he had never seen anyone that beautiful before, she was glowing: even from where he was standing, harry could see the way her eyes were filled with emotional tears, the wavering smile displayed on her lips. she was breathtaking, and so utterly happy. 

it broke his heart.

he saw everything he had lost by being so arrogant, so blind, so oblivious, such an idiot for not realising sooner that she was the one, that she was the only person he wanted by his side. and now, he was watching every step she took away from him, towards the life he knew she deserved.

the life he knew he could’ve given her, if he didn’t mess up his chance. 

chances, even. he had so many of them, and he blew them away because he was scared.

now his life was gonna be filled with regrets, and that was his own fault, there was no one else.

while he watched the couple exchange their eternal promises to each other, he saw her sister glancing at him, giving him a timid smile, as if she knew he couldn’t be there for a second longer, that he couldn’t wait there to see them go out from that church and beginning their new journey. harry nodded back at her, and quietly made his way out of the church from the second entrance, the one he used to make his way in without being noticed.

he got in his car, and drove. he didn’t even know to where he was heading towards, but that didn’t matter. nothing did anymore.

“is he holding you better at night?

is it me running into your mind?

i still think about you all the time.”

—

soooo, this is it! i absolutely loved writing this story, i cried A LOT but it was very much worth it. some stories just don’t have the ending we wish they had, and that’s okay: some stories need a sad ending. i love you all! please let me know your thoughts under the post or in my asks! <3

taglist: @harrysonlylover @that-daydream-look @neverstaisfied

[sweet-creature101]

Sweet Creature

The moment harry fell in love with you.

bestfriend!harry

warnings: mention of alcohol. A lot of fluff.

“Is this okay?” You ask Harry, twirling around in your satin dress. The dress was sinched at your waist and fell down hugging your hips.

Harry had no response other than the butterflies that rose inside of him every time he so much as even glanced at you. ‘It’s only heartburn.’ He thought to himself. Harry tried his best to keep such feelings at bay, afraid of the outcome he might have to face if he revealed them.

“Oh my god. I look ridiculous don’t I?” You said, shock and disgust engraved in your eyes. That was the only possible reason of Harry’s silence, or at least that’s what you thought.

“What? No! You look, different.” Harry mumbled shyly as he buttoned his blazer.

“We’ve been friends far too long for you to act this way Haz. If I look hideous just say it.” You said, crossing your arms, your red painted lips forming a pout.

“You look beautiful, stunning, breathtaking-”

“Okay! Okay!” You interuppted him with a laugh, feeling your cheeks heat heavily. Harry couldn’t help but notice the red colour rushing into your cheeks as you stared at the ground. ‘Shy baby’ he thought to himself.

“I don’t even get why Niall is making us dress up so fancy shamncy.” You huff out a breath, looking at Harry fix his long hair.

Harry in simple words looked, ravishing. His red blazer matched with your red dress. You wanted to touch him, feel him, kiss him but you aware of the fact that Harry harboured no such feelings for you.

“Cheer up lovie. It’s his birthday, no taking chances with the dress code.” He said, flicking your nose gently.

—————————————

The music was loud. Loud enough to drown out any chance of conversation. You look around and get yourself a drink as you talk to Lila, a close friend of yours.

“Ladies!” Niall, grinned at both you and Lila as he approached you with a tray of vodka shots with Harry trailing behind him.

“Nope. I’m not doing that.” You spoke far too quickly, making Niall bark a laugh in response. “No one’s going out sober out of here.” Niall said winking at you.

“Drink up.”

With A few shots down, the party seemed to venture onto a much more eventful course. You danced with Lila and a few other men whom you didn’t know. The feeling of letting lose overpowered any logical reasoning you had. Harry ended up watching you from a distance, a protective gaze encasing you, observing your every move.

“Go and dance with her. If not, stop being a creep.” Lila said, patting his shoulder with a sly grin as if to say ‘I know you like her.’

“M’not being a creep.” He mumbled slowly. In all honestly, Harry understood why he would seem as ‘creep’, after all he had been staring at you all night long.

You spotted Harry from the distance. You waved at him with a bright smile. Harry returned your smile with equal affection. You stumble towards Harry and kiss his cheek slowly, giggling like a four year old girl.

“May I have this dance?” You ask Harry, extending a hand towards him. Harry smiled at you and placed his ring clad hand in yours and pulled you towards him, your chest bumping into his making you inhale sharply.

Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex began to play. Harry placed one hand at your waist and the other held yours. You sighed and kept your head at chest, sighing in content as you close your eyes. The two of you swayed slowly to the song. The proximity you shared was calming, and alluring.

“Tired?” Harry asked you, holding you.

“Never.” You replied making him laugh.

You weren’t absolutely drunk. You were drunk enough to posses a certain level of courage, which in a normal scenario would’ve been present.

In a normal scenario, you wouldn’t have asked Harry to dance with you. You would’ve have kissed his cheek and you most certainly wouldn’t have done what did next.

“Can I tell you something?” You asked him, your big glassy eyes staring up at him. “Anything at all.” Harry replied with all sincerity.

“I think… no wait, I know that I’m falling in love with you. I’m aware that I’m not much and you’re so used to dating all those models and perfect girls, that I might as well seem like a degrade. I just wanted to get this off my chest before I exploded.” You spoke far too quickly.

Harry noticed the signs, he took a good look at your body language. This was the first time he looked in your eyes with clarity as you stood across from him, enough to sober the both of you. He took a step closer, closing the tiny silver of space between you two. He noticed you were breathing deeply, which reminded him that he wasn’t breathing at all. So caught up in you, thay he forgot to breathe.

Your lips met and Harry’s tongue pressed your lower lip, parting your mouth as you welcomed him. His tongue slipped inside your mouth. You tasted like cherry with a hint of vodka. A moment later, your hands slipped from his neck as you grabbed his hair, completly forgetting where you are. Harry’s hands crept to your waist and his chest pressed against yours.

For Harry, this simply wasn’t just a kiss. It was an epiphany, a cure, a transformation and an unprecedented salvation in the purest form.

Finally as you pull away, Harry let out a groan as he let his eyes stay shut, not wanting to wake up from this dream. The last thing he wanted was to pull away. His large hands let go of your waist. Time stopped as he came to terms with this dizzy and swaying world. How could he have missed out all this time.

“I’m falling in love with you.” Harry merely said, connecting his lips to yours once more.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

2, fluff

Here you go, friend! 🤗 You might get annoyed but it ends cute!

*REPOSTING BECAUSE TUMBLR IS STUPID AND FLAGGED THIS AS SEXSUAL CONTENT*

You can check out the picture prompts and blurbs written for it here:)

“It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye!” You warned loudly and slightly out of breath as Harry tried to get to you. He’d been chasing you around the arena for about 10 minutes now. You were on one side of the little table in his dressing room and he on the other side with a big smile on his face.

“Just let me get you back.” he shrugged with a grin.

“No, you take it too far! And the only reason I pranked you was because you pranked me first!” you reminded him as he took yet another step around the furniture with a cupcake in his hand.

“Y/N, just…let it happen.” he said and you shook your head. The last thing you wanted was to have to spend the rest of the day feeling all sticky with frosting residue on your face and in your hair and irritated at him underneath it all.

“You’re the absolute worst friend that I’ve ever had the pleasure of making. You’re a menace! And a monster! And a man-child!” you laughed and then shrieked as he just side stepped with his long legs and you narrowly managed to escape him and were now around the couch, with your heart pounding hard and fast at your miraculous escape.

“Keep going, that’s only gonna make it worse. I’m going to get you, you know I am.” he smiled. He was so competitive and he needed to be the one to end this little prank war that he started to begin with.

“I did nothing compared to what you did to me! That’s the only reason I got you back!” you pointed at him sternly.

“How was I supposed to know that you’re so crazy about your makeup that you’d go and replace it without a second thought!”

“You said my luggage wasn’t on the jet, you butthead!” you shouted at him and he rolled his eyes.

“Of course it was! You handed it over to Greg yourself!”

“Well, I panicked and you hid it so how was I supposed to know!? I was in distress!”

“Over makeup?”

“Not just makeup! I had my clothes and laptop in there!”

“But you rushed off to replace the makeup. You need to sort out your priorities.” he grinned and you groaned.

“Whatever! Just leave me alone or I’m never visiting you on tour again!” you threatened.

“Just let me even things out!”

“Things are even! You pranked me and I pranked you back and that’s it! It’s over!”

“I disagree.” he smirked.

“Just throw it then!”

“No! I don’t want to make a mess for the custodians to have to scrub icing and mushy cake out of the carpet.”

“Oh, but you’re fine with putting me through that after getting it all over my hair and face?” you challenged and he smiled. “If you even get a smudge of icing anywhere on me I won’t be talking to you until tomorrow.”

“I’d like to see you try to give me the silent treatment.”

“I really will! You’re being annoying! It’s too early for this, Harry.” you said as seriously as possible, so that he knew that you really did not want to have to spend your afternoon picking cake crumbs out of your hair.

“Fine, fine, fine.” he mumbled and put the cupcake down and you sighed in relief.

“Thank you. Just…behave, Harry.” you said and spared him a glance back as you headed towards his dressing room door and right before you made it into the hallway he grabbed around your waist and held you to his body as he smashed the cupcake over your head and really rubbed it in there. You gasped as he laughed in amusement, “You fucking prick!” you groaned as he stepped away from you, licking his thumb clean of some icing.

“Revenge is tasting quite sweet.” he smirked with pride at his pun and you just groaned and headed off towards the bathroom.

He didn’t think you were serious about ignoring him, but you totally were. You felt that this was completely uncalled for and you were annoyed at him! He had hid your luggage and pretended like they forgot your luggage in Denmark! He waited to tell you until the following day after you had gone out and replaced some of your immediate need items. The only prank you pulled to get him back was to hide all of his socks behind his pillow at the hotel. But then Lamby assured him that he always packed extras for him and everything was just fine for him. Harry found his socks when he turned down his bed later that night. It was harmless, because you didn’t want to stress him out too much. Unlike him, who made you feel like you had lost your mind and left all of your possessions in another country!

And now this fucking gooped up mess on your head had pushed you too far. You didn’t want to cry about it, but your eyes were welling up as you stood over the sink, trying to get all of the icing and cake matted in there off. It was damn near impossible as the cake kept crumbing the more you touched it and it was awful! You were so frustrated that you just allowed yourself to cry. You told yourself that you weren’t being a wuss or dramatic, he had taken it too far even if he was doing it in the name of fun.

“Oh my god, are you alright? Are you hurt?” you heard and glanced back to see Elin walking into the bathroom with a frown on her face as she saw you sobbing softly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just Harry being a nuisance. I’m not hurt or anything, just so angry at him that I started to cry.” you sniffled and shook your head.

“Do you want me to say something to him?”

“No, it’s alright. I’ll get over it.” you assured with a tightlipped smile and she proceeded to just do her business before returning back to the soundcheck.

You didn’t want to dampen anyone’s spirits, but your mood was pretty shitty after Harry’s payback prank so you just hid out in a stall. Your head was in a state. You’d managed to get a good amount of the icing and cake out, but the hair at the top of your head was all stiff and sticky to the touch and you smelled really strongly of icing and it was giving you a headache. You went quiet when you heard the bathroom door creak open. Elin, Sarah, and Madi had all seen you in here previously so you didn’t want them to know you were still wallowing in here, it was embarrassing.

“Y/N?” You heard Harry call out for you and you felt your throat bob as a fresh wave of anger pulsed through your body just at the sound of his voice, “Are you in here?” he asked again and true to your word, you stayed quiet.

“The last person to see you an hour ago was Sarah and she said you were in here. No one else has seen you around the arena.” he said an you just rolled your eyes. Everything went quiet again except for a long exhale he let out and then seconds later your phone started ringing loudly in your hand and the sound made your heart pound with surprise. Seconds later you could see Harry’s feet in front of the stall you were in and he pulled the door open to find you glaring at him. “Hi.” he said softly and you continued glaring at him, “Look, I may have taken it too far.” he said and you just crossed your arms over your chest, “I’m really sorry.” he said as he looked at your swollen and slightly reddened eyes. He felt really, really awful now that he saw how messy things had actually been.

“Elin said I made you cry.” he said softly and you looked away from him, “Hey, look at me.” he came closer and grabbed your chin gently, “I’m really, really sorry. I should’ve just dropped it. I definitely took this way too far. Like you did nothing comparable to this! And I… made you spend money you didn’t have to, to replace things you didn’t need to and well now this…” he said and you felt some satisfaction knowing that he felt bad for his stupid pranks, “There’s a shower in my dressing room if you want to get that all off.” he said to you and you sighed and moved his hand off of you and squeezed out of the narrow opening of the stall and lifted your hand, wordlessly indicating that you wanted him to take you there.

He led the way and gave you his toiletries and the towel he had packed for the day of the show. He was going to help you get the water on but before he could even step inside you had shut the door in his face and he frowned.

Harry felt like a total idiot. He had actually started to like you in a more than friends way a while back and he had been so excited to have you join him for a few shows on the tour because he thought that maybe it’d be a good time to show you that there was compatibility and potential for maybe a little bit more between the two of you. He’d noticed that the kind of people you’d typically gravitate towards when you’d go out were more outgoing and funny and they tended to stand out a lot more than he did. He was on the timid side, he liked to hang back and observe instead of be the center of attention. He definitely could be like that, but that was more for stage presence than everyday life. Socializing admittedly drained him a bit. And he just figured if maybe he acted a little bit more like the people he’d seen you gravitate towards then you’d start to see him in a different light. Obviously, that had backfired catastrophically and he had ruined your day with his shenanigans.

He waited for you until you came out of the little bathroom that was attached to his dressing room. And as soon as your eyes met his he frowned again.

“I’m sorry.” he said again. You could see how he was literally oozing remorse and you felt bad continuing to make him feel like he wasn’t forgiven. It was just a cupcake…it was unnecessary and annoying, but it didn’t warrant this silent treatment. Now you were the one in the wrong and as hard as it was to swallow your pride, you needed to.

“It’s alright, Harry. It was a prank and I really overreacted. You didn’t mean any harm and-”

“If you had done that to me I would’ve been pissed, so it’s OK. I get it.” he said and you sighed.

“Well still, I feel bad for ignoring you and hiding out like that and making you feel so bad…” you said quietly as you literally felt your guilt for guilt-tripping him fade away.

“It’s OK.” he smiled softly and you smiled back at him and he was so relieved that you had even smiled at him.

“Also, what’s gotten into you with the pranks and the teasing and all that? Where’s my zen as fuck friend?” she asked with a smile and he bit his lip for a moment, talking himself down from his nerves because he just needed to be honest about his feelings.

“There’s a perfectly normal, yet…ridiculous explanation for that. Ummm… Y/N, I like you. Like…a lot.” he said nervously. You had no idea that he liked you…you were shocked to hear his confession, “I just know that whenever we go out with everyone you’re always like laughing and joking around with funny and loud people! And it’s stupid really, but I thought if I showed you that I could be a little more like that, that maybe you’d…like me too.” Harry got out. And he felt worse confessing this to you. Admitting to you that he felt inadequate and that he was doing all this extra stuff in hope that you’d feel the same.

Your gaze softened as you listened to him. And you couldn’t see it, but you knew that he had his hands crossed behind his back because he was picking at the sides of his fingers. You had that bad habit in common with him among with many other really great things. And it was sad that he felt that he needed to change to get your attention in that way.

You always thought Harry was cute and truly, it was inevitable to befriend him and not crush on him at some point! And well, your crush had started a while back and it persisted, but you just brushed it off as much as possible because you also felt like you weren’t his type. Well actually you had more or less functioning vision, you knew that you weren’t the type of girl he’d go for from what you’d seen in your years as friends. But you never thought to challenge that, you just accepted it and reminded yourself of the fact that there was no chance before you could even get sad about it.

“Oh H, you’re perfect as you are!” you assured him and he smiled softly, “And ummm, you don’t need to act differently for me to…like you back.” you said timidly, but his smile had gone even bigger.

“Are you serious right now? You’re not retaliating?” he asked as he stepped a bit closer to you.

“Of course not! I’d never play with your feelings like that.” you assured him sternly, “You mean a lot to me and well, I’ve seen the kind of people you usually like and I just…never thought I had a shot so I just…pushed my feelings down.” You explained.

“I think we need to get to know each other a little better.” he chuckled and you did too as he grabbed your hand in his hands. You’d held hands before but never because you liked each other and simply wanted to touch.

“I think you’re right.” you finally responded with a smile.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked and you felt your entire body heat at his question, but you nodded none the less. He quickly grabbed your face and kissed your lips in a deep kiss before pulling back. Your hearts were pounding and while you were struggling to breathe he was almost feeling nauseous from how wildly the butterflies were fluttering in his tummy. “I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time.” he said softly with a smile.

“H! Did you find Y- Oh!” Elin smiled as she saw you both in his dressing room, “Feeling better?” she asked you and you nodded.

“Yes, thank you. Much, much better.” you smiled at her and she nodded.

“Good. We’re all about to eat outside.” she said.

“We should go then, I’m hungry.” you said to Harry and he nodded and you both followed behind Elin.

While you were eating your friend ended up calling you to check in and you had stepped away to talk to her about everything that had happened. She was squealing in excitement for you as you saw Harry approaching, once again his hands were behind his back and you wondered what else he was nervous about telling you.

“Shut up! He’s walking over!” you warned quickly and your friend quickly shut her mouth.

“Who’s that?” Harry asked as soon as he was a bit closer.

“It’s Isabella.” you informed him as he approached.

“Hey Isabella!” he called and you chuckled.

“Hang on.” you said to him as you switched the camera to show Harry coming up to you.

“Hi Harry!” her voice was heard over the speaker, “What’s up?”

“Nothing, just wanted to see if maybe Y/N wanted a cupcake?” he said, bringing his hand out from behind his back as he held a cupcake in his hand. Isabella immediately started cackling, after all you had just informed her how the last couple hours of your day had gone. Harry was wearing this mischievous, shit-eating smile and the only thing you could do at this moment was shake your head in disapproval.

“I hate you.” you said as he chuckled and came closer.

“No you don’t. A little birdie’s told me otherwise.” he hummed happily as he stopped right in front of you and you just narrowed your eyes at him in feigned irritation, “Too soon?” he asked with a grin and you extended your hand out.

“I think you know what comes next.” you said to him and he chuckled, “I’ll call you back, Is.” you said and hung up before sliding your phone into your back pocket.

“Yeah, yeah….get it over with.” he said as he put the dessert in your hands and then closed his eyes in preparation for you to smash it again him. You grinned as you approached and just lightly smeared his cheek with the frosting and he opened one eye to look at you, “That’s it?” he asked you and you shrugged.

“I’m not mean like you.” you said softly and he smiled.

“Well…you know, now you have to clean it off.” he said smugly and you smirked.

“Is that so?”

“Yep, them’s the rules.” he shrugged smugly. You then furrowed your brows as you handed him the cupcake and then felt around your pockets as if searching for something, “I’d prefer you lick it off rather than wipe if off if that’s what your'e looking for in there.” he said to you smugly.

“Oh, I’m not looking for a napkin.” you replied as you dug into your front pocket and he looked confused.

“Then what are you looking for?” he asked perplexed.

“Oh! Here it is!” you said as you pulled your hand out and flipped him the bird. He immediately started to laugh, “You didn’t help me clean up so your rules can go fuck themselves.” you smiled in satisfaction.

“Alright, I deserved that.” he said and you hummed.

“That felt so good.”

“I’m glad. Is all the rage out of your system yet?” he asked you and you nodded once, “Good girl. C'mon.” he said as he walked past you to head back to the group, but you were yet again shocked by his words. As you turned to face him he was already looking back at you and shot you a wink before taking off again. He was gonna be a lot of trouble, but you wouldn’t have him any other way.

[voidpugh]

when you know everything could be so different, its heartbreaking

[harrywavycurly]

Not Eddie related but what about some conversations with Narry as our friends? 🥰

Hiiii babes!! Oh this made me emo I miss writing for bestie Narry! I hope you enjoy these extremely random ass conversations with them!💖

“Why is he in charge of dinner when we all know I’m the better cook?” “Because Harry this is Niall’s house…now what’s on the menu for tonight? I only brought one bottle of wine.” “Nothing fancy just chicken and-” “did you season it properly?” “Oh fuck off with that Harry.” “We all saw the chicken Niall…it looked unseasoned and just…horrid.” “Do you two need to be separated?” “No…I’ll behave…sorry Niall.” “It’s fine just don’t go being a twat…we haven’t even had any wine yet.”

“Two drinks in and we already have to take your phone away? You’ve turned into a lightweight love.” “Oh come off it Harry we all saw you that one night at the pub in London after like three whiskey sours.” “We don’t speak of that night Niall…you know this.” “Ohhhh was that when he tried to get nake-” “I just said we don’t speak of that night.” “You heard him love we aren’t allowed to talk about when he nearly pe-” “why am I friends with you two?…always pickin on me.” “You love us…doesn’t he Niall?” “Oh yeah he totally loves us…don’t ya mate?” “Yeah yeah…I love you…even when you don’t listen.”

“This is the most uncomfortable couch I’ve ever sat on in my life…why do you have this thing?” “Because my super famous and rich pop star bestfriend hasn’t taken me to get a new one.” “You forgot to add he’s also a movie star love…move over…your lanky arse is just taking up the whole thing.” “I’m doing you a favor…this couch is horrible.” “So then let’s go get her a proper one then.” “I was just kidding Niall I don’t need you two to buy me a couch.” “Jesus…this thing really does fucking suck…how is your back not in shambles from this torture device?” “It’s just old and has a few lumps that’s all.” “Lumps? This thing feels like it’s made out of cement it’s so hard…Niall where did you get your monstrosity of a couch? It may be hideous but it’s comfortable.” “My couch isn’t hideous you dick…but I’m not sure the name of the store but I can just take you there.” “Sounds good…now go grab your sunglasses love…we’re going shopping.”

“What does this mask do again? My face feels…tingly.” “It’s a pore clearing one so tingly is good…burning is bad…Harry where is my black nail polish?” “I’m using it…oh can you bring me the silver glitter please?” “Okay now it’s burning…can I take it off now?” “Beauty is pain Niall don’t be a ninny.” “Fuck off Harry that’s easy for you to say all you’re doing is painting your bloody nails.” “Go wash your face in the sink Niall…don’t get water all over the place like you did last time please.” “He’s a proper mess that one…can’t even handle doing a face mask.” “Don’t be rude Harry…remember when I did that apple cider mask on you and you only had it one for two minutes before you were begging me to help get it off you?” “That was different…you didn’t tell me it was going to turn into solid clay and make my face feel like it was actually vibrating…it was scary.” “How do I look? My face feels as smooth as a baby’s bottom.” “You look great Niall…will you let Harry do your nails?” “Yeah but no fucking glitter like you did last time..that stuff stayed on for ages.”

[knowiloveyoubabe]

Not Like This

Word Count: 2.5K words

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol consumption; language (?)

A/N: idk if anyone’s done this already but i rewatched new girl for the billionth time and i just had to (also hi sorry i haven’t posted in so long, life is rough)

“Come on, Y/N! Why not?” Harry whined, a hiccup escaping his pouty lips. Y/N rolled her eyes, attempting to stifle a smile, crossing her arms over her chest. She could barely hear him over the loud music, the bass nearly causing their bones to jump out of their skin. 

“Because it’s a childish game, we’re both drunk, and this will definitely not end well.” She tries to speak over the music, giggling at her glossy-eyed best friend pleading on his knees in front of her, holding her hands between his.

“Pleaaaase, pretty pretty please?” He pokes his bottom lip out, giving her a look he knew she couldn’t say no to, his hands finding their way to and resting on her arms. 

“Harry, I don’t know…” She fidgets, unsure. He clumsily makes his way up to his feet, bumping into a few drunk classmates and laying his hands on her shoulders. 

“Just one round! It’s just spin the bottle, what’s the worst that could happen?” He smiles confidently. 

She eyed him for a moment, his cheeks were flushed from the excessive alcohol, causing the color of his bright eyes to significantly pop aside the deep pink. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the feelings for Harry she had been suppressing for the 3 years they've been friends, but the shape of his lips had become nearly irresistible. Her eyes followed their movement as his teeth bit down on his bottom lip while he waited on her answer. 

“Love?” He asks, his fingers brush down her arm ever so softly, snapping her out of her trance. 

“Huh? Oh, I’m sorry.” Y/N inhales a sharp breath, physically shaking her head as though she were pushing the thoughts out of her mind. Harry’s face shifted to a look of worry for his closest friend.

“You know what, maybe we are too drunk, I’ll just tell them we’ll sit this one out.” He moved to step away from her but she caught his hand in hers before he could go. 

“No! I’m okay, I promise! Let's play!” She spoke quickly. Harry’s worried frown deepened as he grabbed her other hand.

“You seemed so unsure, what changed?” He asked, tilting his head slightly to the side. Alarm bells blared in her head as she felt his thumb brushing against her knuckles, her focus falls to his lips once more. 

How can she possibly explain to her best friend that she changed her mind because she desperately needs someone else's lips on hers to help erase the very thought of his touch, his eyes, his lips on her.  

“Nothing, it’ll be fun!” She smiled, lightly nudging his shoulder with hers, attempting to maintain her composure. His brows furrowed as he chewed on his bottom lip, skeptical of her sudden change in attitude. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, genuinely concerned. She laughs at his drunken attempt at a serious conversation. 

“Stop being silly, let’s play!” Y/N cheers, chugging the last of her drink and pulling him towards the living room of the frat house. Harry wobbled behind her, holding onto her for dear life as they bumped past the other partygoers.

They spot their group of friends sitting in a circle on the floor, the dim light reflected off of the beer bottles in their hands. With the music blaring through the speakers, people dancing, laughing, making out around them, the group of friends looked as though they were in their own little pocket of the universe, unfazed by the scene surrounding them. 

Y/N continued pulling Harry towards them when he stopped in his tracks, gently pulling her towards him.

“Y/N,” His glossy eyes were filled with worry, “Are you absolutely sure, love?” He says softly, the music almost drowning his melodic voice out. Y/N heard him loud and clear though, her eyes lingered on his lips. 

“Yes, I’m absolutely sure,” She nodded her head, inhaling sharply. She smiled nervously, hoping he wouldn’t see through her facade. “Like you said, what's the worst that could happen?” She shrugged, feigning nonchalance..

A small smile tugged at the corner of Harry’s lips as his eyes scanned her face. 

“Okay, but I’ve got my eye on you.” His dimple deepened as he looped her arm into his, leading her to the group.

“Finally!” Their friends greeted them as they sat in vacant spots in the circle, facing one another. 

“Alright, everyone knows the rules, you spin the bottle and kiss whoever it lands on,” One of their friends, Chris, states before chugging the rest of his beer and laying the bottle on its side in the center of the circle. “This is the easiest game ever, just keep it tight you drunkards.” He points his finger around the group, a lazy smirk stretching across his lips, his dark skin glistened under the colored lights. The group cheers loudly, ready to get the game started.

Harry nods at Y/N, directing her attention to him.

“Can you believe this man is going to be a doctor?” He giggles, gesturing at Chris. Y/N giggles too, their friend shooting them a playful glare.

“Alright, let’s get on with it,” Chris announces, “I’ll go first.” He claps his hands together, looking around the group before settling himself down on his knees and reaching to spin the bottle. The bottle slows down, landing on Omar, a lean, tanned guy with curly brown hair. A smile stretches on his face as cheers and catcalls are heard amongst the group. Chris laughs, leaning in to place a peck on Omar’s lips. Harry and Y/N cheer with the rest of the group, awaiting the next person's turn.

Harry’s turn slowly approached, the anxiety making Y/N’s heart nearly jump out of her chest at the thought of his lips on someone else's. It’s not like she had never seen him kiss someone else, he has had situationships here and there and she’d caught glances of his lips locked with theirs. But this time was different, she could no longer push the feelings away, the alcohol had broken down that dam and it all rushed over her like running water. 

Kisses were shared and the bottle kept spinning, until it was finally Harry’s turn. Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat as he reached for the bottle, his eyes locking with hers for what felt like forever. She gave him a tight smile and a quick thumbs up, her body almost on autopilot as she watched him. He inhales deeply, squinting his eyes and spinning the bottle. Y/N squeezes her eyes shut, hoping she was being subtle about the panic coursing through her veins. 

“Ooooooh shit!” She heard Chris and the rest of the circle laughing, her lids opening before she could think. Her eyes met Harry’s, his expression stunned. His eyes left hers, trailing down to where the bottle was, pointing directly at her. Her breath caught in her throat as it dawned on her what this all meant, the thought nearly sobering her up. 

“Y/N…” Harry’s voice trailed softly as he bit at the skin on the inside of his cheek. She could feel everyone's eyes on her, waiting on her next move. A faux smile spread across her face as she chuckled lightly, attempting to hide the panic creeping down her spine.

“What are you waiting for, come here!” She puts on a confident front, leaning in slightly. Harry remained silent, his mouth agape. 

“C’mon Harry, we all did it! Kiss her!” Omar giggled, poking at Harry’s knee playfully. A beat passed and Harry hadn’t made any move to kiss her. Y/N’s blood was buzzing in her veins, her stomach restless as she waited on him to do something, anything.

“Lets goooo, kiss her!” Chris cheers, starting a chant amongst those in the circle. Harry broke out of his trance, shaking his head slightly. The cheers grew louder and blood rushed to his cheeks, deepening the flush from the alcohol. 

“What, you don’t wanna kiss me?” Y/N half jokes, nearly wincing at the thought.

“Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her!” The cheers grew louder as a few of their classmates outside of their circle joined in, drunkenly unaware of what was happening. 

“No, not like this!” He bursts, frustrated. The regret almost instantly set in on his features as the words slipped out. The group fell silent, all eyes on him. A few classmates continued cheering, still unaware.

“What?” Y/N whispers, her eyes wide. Her breath had caught in her throat as she held eye contact with her best friend, it was as though the whole world had frozen around them. His wide eyes flooded with an emotion that her intoxicated brain could not comprehend.

“Fuck.” Harry mutters under his breath, wobbling up from his spot in the circle and disappearing into the crowd. 

“Harry!” Y/N called after him, attempting to follow him but clumsily falling onto the couch behind Chris. He offers her a hand, smiling knowingly.

“Go get him.” He winks as Y/N takes his hand, nodding. 

She takes off in the direction he went in, finding herself at a door at the far end of the frat house. The bathroom. Y/N smiled to herself. The anxiety had nearly evaporated from her body, the only thing on her mind was making sure her favorite person was okay. She knocked, knowing fully well that she wouldn’t hear the response from within over the pounding bass. She slowly opened the door, hoping she wasn’t barging in on some stranger sitting on the toilet. Instead, she was met with the soft green eyes she’d grown so fond of. Harry was laying in the tub, arms outstretched on the rim, his hair slightly disheveled. 

“Hey," Y/N spoke softly, entering the small bathroom, gently shutting the door behind her. Harry averted his gaze from hers, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. “Mind if I join you in there?” 

Harry nodded slightly, still avoiding her eyes. Y/N steps into the tub carefully, sitting opposite of him, stretching her legs and settling her feet on either side of his hips. 

Neither of them made a move, the silence between them uninterrupted by the loud music on the other side of the door. Harry picked at his nail polish, avoiding her eyes as she scanned his face for what he could possibly be feeling.

“What did you m-” “How did you kno-” 

They both break the thick silence simultaneously. 

“You go first.” Harry ran a hand through his hair, another sign of the anxiety he felt welling up inside of him.

“No, no, you go.” Y/N laid a gentle hand on his shin. Harry’s eyes settled on her fingers unconsciously tracing small circles over the thin material of his pants on his leg.

“How did you know I’d be here?” He spoke slowly, his eyes following the movement of her fingers. Y/N let out a slight chuckle, the change in tone forcing Harry’s eyes up to look at her face. The brightest of smiles lit up her features.

“Remember the night we first met? Orientation party, freshman year?” She paused. Harry’s eyebrows furrowed as he racked his alcohol ridden brain. Y/N lets out a laugh as realization hits him, his eyebrows shooting up and his mouth slightly agape.

“I was hiding out in the bathroom because I didn’t know anyone yet.” He chuckles, watching Y/N fondly. 

“And I needed to pee but there was some weirdo in the tub!” She leans forward, lightly pushing his shoulder. Harry bursts into a fit of giggles, comforted by the presence of his best friend.

“Why the tub?”

“I don’t know, it’s weirdly comforting.” Harry giggles, shrugging his shoulders.

“And?” Y/N pokes at his shin.

“You know, I think it’s the walls of the tub, I feel like a little baby in a crib.” Harry slurs slightly, leaning his head back on the wall behind him. 

“Hmm, I wonder what that’s about?” Y/N teases, causing Harry to groan.

“You took ONE psychology class and forgot how to act.” Harry scrunches his nose at his friend. A beat of silence settled between them before Y/N snickered, making them both burst out in laughter. 

As they settled down, Harry placed his hands on Y/N’s thighs, snapping her out of her haze for a moment.

“Harry?”

“Hm?” Harry hummed softly, distracted by a piece of loose thread on Y/N’s pants.

“What did you mean, ‘not like this’?” She spoke cautiously, eyeing his face. Harry inhaled sharply, his body tensing slightly. 

“I just,” Harry nibbles at his lip, “I don’t know, I just…” He sighs, covering his face with his hands. 

“Hey,” Y/N frowns, removing her feet from beside him, repositioning herself. She perched herself on her knees between his legs, her hands gently settling on his thighs. “You don’t have to-”

She was cut off by his mouth on hers, his hands on either side of her face. Y/N was stunned but allowed herself to melt into it. Harry let out a soft whimper as she kissed him back, his hands tracing down her body to her waist, pulling her closer. Her fingers tangled themselves in his hair, tugging ever so lightly as their lips molded onto one another with fervor. His tongue slipped into her mouth, colliding with hers. His hands trail down to her hips, pulling her even closer as she practically straddles him. Harry pulled away first, both of them struggling to regulate their breathing.

“Harry…” She whispers, her forehead pressed against his, absolutely stunned.

“That’s what I meant.” He whispers. Y/N exhales shakily, pulling him in for another kiss. Their hands roamed as they pulled each other closer and closer. 

“Chris! I found them!” The bathroom door swung open, startling the couple in the tub. Omar leaned against the doorframe, giggling up a storm at their surprise. Chris walked up behind Omar, his hands on his hips. 

“C’mon, guys! The game was spin the bottle, not 7 minutes in heaven!” He slurred, joining Omar’s giggle fest. Y/N buried her face in Harry’s neck, mortified at the position their friends found them in. 

“Alright, alright, we’ll be out in a minute!” Harry shoo’s their friends (who were making kissing noises at the couple). Chris closes the door, but not before yelling that he called it. Harry rubbed Y/N’s back, apologizing gently. She pulls her face out of the crook of his neck looking at him in disbelief.

“Y/N, this is all I’ve wanted for so long.” He whispers and her feature soften instantly.

“Really?” Her voice strained slightly. He places a hand on her jaw running his thumb over her cheekbone, nodding his head. Y/N’s heart beat against her ribcage so hard that she was sure he could hear it.

“Me too.” A wide smile graced her face. Harry’s heart soared as he leaned in to kiss his best friend again. 

“We’re kissing in a tub, absolutely shitfaced.” Y/N giggles against his lips.

“Worse things have happened in tubs, I’m sure of it,” Harry giggles back between soft kisses. “But this is definitely one of the best.” He deepens their kiss, so glad he begged her to play that silly game.

[statementlou]

it's always funny to me when people say they don't think Harry and Louis are still together because they're *so different*, especially when those differences are about their public image, because to me the absolute precision of the way their public images divide every possible personality trait is just another one of the things that seems way too tidy to be natural to me and makes me think they ARE. Without each of them having a carefully constructed public face that excluded a lot of things there is just literally no way there wouldn't be SO MUCH MORE overlap given how much we know, even so, that they have in common- and honestly sometimes I wonder if that carries over to business stuff too, if that is also deliberately split in two different directions like, let's try both, you try this way and I'll try this way. When they each had that conversation with a dear friend about deciding to prioritize making music in certain ways and reevaluated what they would be doing, did they also come up with two different ways of doing that stuff and each take one route? Crack theory in a way, but I stand by the first half either way- they have way too many common interests and habits (and too much common history) to avoid mentioning the same things publicly WAY more than they do without an effort being involved. IMO.

[moonchildstyles]

soft

harry is y/n's best friend, so she thought she knew everything about him. but, it looks like they both had some secrets: harry thought about her a lot more than she realized and y/n has really soft hands.

wordcount: 6.2k+

—————

"C'mon, (Y/N), let's go to bed." 

Harry's voice in her ear had (Y/N) jumping out of the half-asleep limbo she found herself in. Going back to his place after a gathering at Mitch's house had left her a little more than exhausted after she managed to wipe her makeup away and change into a sleep set she had buried in the back of his closet. Her previously styled hair was piled into a mess on the top of her head as she knuckled at her eye, letting Harry help her up off the couch with his fingers looped around her wrist. 

"Your room?" she asked, voice a bit rumbly as she readily followed him.

"Yeah, that alright?" he checked, her hooded eyes barely catching the way he looked at her over his shoulder. 

"If I can have your fluffy pillow," she bargained, coming more alive after the walk with her bare feet on the hardwood of his floors. 

"You know," he started, (Y/N) able to imagine the roll of his eyes, "y'can jus' say you're spoiled." 

"Is that a yes?" she prodded, climbing atop his bed while he went to his closet in search of his own pajamas for the night (which was really just going to be a pair of sweatpants that would very quickly turn into boxers after he shed the pants in the middle of the night).

"If it'll keep y'quiet," he called from the closet, door cracked to keep him concealed while he changed though he could still talk to her. 

"You'd be devastated if I never talked to you again," she countered, snuggling right up to the fluffiest pillow in the bunch on his bed, the quilted puffs of his comforter settling around her form

"I have other friends."

(Y/N) rolled her eyes. She knew he would say that—as if she wasn't his best friend. "You're a dick!" 

Faintly, from the crack in the doorway, she could hear him imitating her in a crackly, childish voice, repeating her words as if it were the strongest comeback known to man. She only rolled her eyes. 

Leaving his closet, Harry came out with a bare chest and low sweats, the band of his underwear hugging his hips—his typical bedtime uniform. He looked much too smug as he tossed his clothing to the hamper in the corner of his room. 

"You've got quite the attitude for someone who's getting to sleep in m'bed when it would be very easy to kick you out to the couch." 

"You'd never kick me out—you like to cuddle with me too much," she countered triumphantly as he climbed into bed with her. 

"I do not," he argued, features scrunched as if he couldn't believe she would ever suggest such a thing. 

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, the sleep that had taken her before beginning to creep in again now that she was cradled in warmth and the scent of her best friend. "I give you twenty minutes then you'll be all over me."

"Y'wish." 

And, maybe she did. But, that wasn't something she was ready to analyze this close to sleep. 

"Goodnight, Harry," she settled, burrowing into the fluff of her pillow with the warmth of the quilt lulling her to sleep. 

"Goodnight, (Y/N)," he answered in a decidedly gentler tone, the sound of his shuffling to get comfortable filling the space between them.

Just as (Y/N) figured he would, it was almost thirty minutes after she shuttered her eyes and sunk into the mattress with her back to him, that she heard him shuffling about again. The rustling of the sheets sounded once more, the mattress dipping just before she felt the warmth of Harry's arms wrapping around her middle. The quiet sigh he let out when he pressed his chest to her back let her know that he probably figured she was asleep, his covert cuddling going off without a hitch. 

As much as the annoying best friend in her wanted to twist around and tease him for falling into exactly what he had denied, but that other part of herself that she tried to keep tied up and locked away in the back of her mind had her staying silent. Was it really such a bad thing to have her Harry cuddling into her, getting comfortable and warm before falling asleep? Was teasing him and telling him I told you so really worth halting the way he nosed into her neck, his breath fanning across her skin? 

Besides, she was too tired anyway. At least that's what she was telling herself.

(Y/N) sunk into him, her body conforming to the strong lines of his own, feigning a stretch so she could drape her hand over his own where he settled into her softness. A few moments after she relaxed, she felt the way he carefully hooked his ankle around her own, socked feet curling together as Harry shuffled as close as he could behind her. 

The strength of his thighs could be felt against the back of her own where she curled into him. Every block of his muscles were pressed against her back with the help of his bare chest, warm and strong though he softened himself to hold her in his half-sleep. The blanket on her form had nothing on the length of his arm thrown across her waist, hand and palm set against the soft of her tummy, only flexing once he felt her own touch find his own. 

Yeah, there was no way she was leaving this. 

Finding a soft place to sink into, (Y/N) allowed herself to be lured into the limbo of sleep for real this time, her breathing evening out as she began to lose touch with what was happening outside of the bubble of contact cradling her. 

Until something changed in that bubble—something decidedly less soft than the rest of him curled around her. 

Against the curve of her bottom, (Y/N) felt something hard pushing against her. Even with the haze of sleep having begun to blanket her, it didn't take much for her to connect the dots and realize what was going on. 

He was hard. Holding her tight against his chest with her butt pushing against his lap, Harry was hard. 

As far as she remembered, that wasn't the case when he had climbed into bed with her or even something she noticed when he first wrapped around her. Now that she had softened in his hold, conforming around his body and sinking into his warmth, she could feel that something poking against her ass. 

Maybe she hadn't hidden her shock as well as she had hoped, at least with the way she felt Harry nose against the back of her neck and pulse his hold around her. "What happened?" he drawled sleepily, "Why'd y'wake up, (Y/N)?"

She knew there was no doubt a much more tactful way to broach the subject, but that wasn't anywhere on her mind as she spoke: "Ar-Are you hard?" 

That had Harry stiffening up behind her, shuffling in the sheets and drawing away just enough she couldn't feel the pressure of his body directly behind her. Despite that, he still attempted to feign nonchalance with a breathy laugh fanning across her skin. "Uh—Maybe?" he laughed out, sounding just as stiff as his hold began to feel, "Sorry." 

Just as he started unwrapping around her, his arm slipping from where it was anchored from over her waist, (Y/N) stopped him with her fingers lacing through his with her palm pressed to the back of his hand. "Wait, no—You don't," she stuttered, cutting herself off when she heard just how flustered she sounded, "You... You don't need to move if you don't want to." 

"Oh?" he sounded, his body staying stiff though he didn't make any further movements to slip away, "Y'sure?"

(Y/N) didn't want to think about why she was so sure about him staying just where he was, if not moving to get back into the position that warmed her in the first place, and she decided now wasn't the time to analyze it all. "Yeah, it's fine," she chattered, her voice an octave higher than what was natural, "It-It's not a big deal." 

He swallowed behind her, making careful movements to resume his hold on her, allowing that hold she laced over his hand to guide him back into place. "I—uh—I thought y'were asleep." 

"Almost," she peeped, trying to remind herself this was only Harry. No reason for her to be nervous and stiff with him—he's her best friend. "Were you almost asleep?" 

"Not quite, obviously," he joked, his smile audible as he gave a delicate pulse of his fingers with hers. While it definitely wasn't the first time they'd ever held hands, (Y/N) tried not to think about why this time felt different. 

It's just Harry, It's just Harry, It's just Harry was the mantra playing in her head as she voice rose to her throat. "Can I ask you something kind of weird?" 

"Sure." 

"Were you thinking about anything? Like when you..." She didn't need to finish her sentence to make it clear where she was going with it. 

A beat passed, silence having settled in the bedroom like an extra person. 

"You don't have to answer that, by the way. I don't even really know why I asked, actually." 

"No, 's alright," he told her, hand flexing under hers, "I jus'... I thought it was obvious." 

She doesn't think she's ever been so grateful for the fact Harry couldn't see her face as she processed his words. "What do you mean?" 

"I—Uh...I mean," he floundered, the tip of his nose brushing her skin as he ducked his head behind her, "I was holding you—touching you, so..." 

Her mouth ran dry at the implication, her heart bubbling at the verbal confirmation of what she had been thinking—hoping. "So, you were thinking about... me?" 

"I mean," he breathed the faint fan of a laugh, humorless, "yeah. I thought you kind of knew that. I don't think I've ever really hid it before." 

(Y/N) wasn't even sure if she was breathing when she realized exactly what he was telling her.

He's thought about her before in a way that's had him in this situation? Had there been other nights like these where she really had fallen asleep and she had no idea she had been on his mind? How long had he thought about her like this? And, he'd supposedly never hid it? What did that even mean? Were there signs th—

"(Y/N)," he sighed out her name, beginning to slip away from her, "'M gonna go ahead and sleep in the guestroom, alright? I—uh—I didn't mean to have this conversation, especially not like this so..." 

She hadn't even realized just how long she had gone silent until his voice filled the room, filling the void. After giving her a small pulse of his fingers around her own, he unhooked his ankle around hers and left her back cold after drawing away. Despite the sleep that had been moments away from cloaking her limbs, (Y/N) twisted between the sheets in a haste. 

"Harry, wait," she bubbled out, finally catching sight of him for the first time since she bundled into his bed, "D-Don't go, please." 

He looked resigned as he shuffled to the edge of the bed on the opposite end. His silhouette revealed the heave of his bare chest as he gave another sigh, the deep breath filling his lungs with his nose flaring. Dropping his gaze to his lap where he was stretched out with his arms stationed with his elbows sinking into the mattress on either side of him, he shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea, (Y/N). I think I need to... be alone for a second." 

If not for the dark, (Y/N) liked to think she would've seen a tint of pink on his cheeks. 

(Y/N)'s mouth ran dry as she tried to find the right way to show him he didn't need to leave if he didn't want to. "You don't have to be alone, though," she swallowed, the comforter shifting around her as she inched just the barest length closer to him, "If you don't want to be, anyway." 

A beat passed. Harry shifted just enough to look at her in the dim of his room, the glisten of his eyes barely glinting in the limited light. 

"Do you want me to stay?" When she didn't immediately answer, her throat dry, she could see the way Harry's fists wrapped tight before he raise one hand to linger through his hair. "You have to tell me or I can't do anything. We need to be honest with each other, right?" 

The deep rumble of his tone was almost as warm as the feel of his arms around her. The perfect coaxing method. "I want you to stay," she peeped, her voice a whisper between the two of them, "I want to help you." 

"Help me?" he prodded, settled amongst the sheets once more though he kept his distance. 

"Yeah," she said, a small nod of her head, "with—um—you know, that." 

A quiet laugh left Harry's lips at her words. "Yeah, that, huh?" 

His gentle teasing was enough to have her shaking her head against the fluffed pillow with a roll of her eyes. "H, stop," she complained, biting back her smile, "I'm trying to be nice." 

"Being nice, to you, is offering to touch my dick? You've been pretty mean to me for years, then, and I had no idea," he prodded, throwing his hands up in the air as he sunk down into the mattress, feigned exasperation. 

"You don't have to say it like that, sicko," she chided him, taking the initiative to shuffle just the smallest bit closer to him, the dips in the mattress joining together. 

"Since when are you shy, hm?" he countered, turning to face her with a lopsided smile on his lips, cheek cushioned by the pillow. 

"You don't know if I'm shy or not," she argued, feeling a warmth hit her cheeks, "We've never been in bed together like this before." 

"What is this then, huh? How is this different than before?" 

In the limited light, she could see the way he looked a little too smug at his line of question. She knew he liked to play around, but she never really allowed herself to think about what it would be like to see him playful between the sheets. This wasn't something she was going to be able to forget. 

"You know what I mean, stop being annoying," she complained half-heartedly, rolling her eyes in an attempt to match the energy he was giving. As much as she was comforted by his teasing, that demeanor was hard to meet when her mind was somewhere else—stuck where he had been pressed tightly against her back. 

Maybe she should have pulled her head out of that moment, thought a little more before she opened her mouth once more, but the slight pause after her words was too much of a temptation to let slip away. Despite the fact she could see Harry gearing up for his own teasing stab, she stopped him with her hands tightly bundled in the fluff of his comforter.

"Can I, though?" she whispered out, swallowing before elaborating "Touch your dick, I mean." 

In the limited light, she could spot the way Harry's gaze widened for only a moment before he chanced a slide down from her eyes. He touched over the planes of her face, skating over the line of her nose and the pillows of her cupid's bow before flicking to her eyes once more. 

"Alright, c'mere," he relented as if he had no other choice but to give into her beggings—as if he wasn't the one with the hard on at the moment, being propositioned by the person who caused it. With his back on the mattress, he opened his arm out to her, beckoning her to his side. "This is gonna be like the first time I taught you how to take a real tequila shot, isn't it?" he prodded, his arm wrapping around her form as she settled into his warm. 

(Y/N) huffed at his question, nudging her elbow into his side with her arms bundled between them. Laying on her own side, she was granted his chest as her pillow, his hand spanning along the planes of her back. "This isn't the first time I've done something like this, you know that right?" she told him, one of her hands settling on the bare of his stomach, the position familiar despite the new circumstances.

The static around her shifted, telling her Harry had drawn closer. She felt him before the touch of his nose brushed through rogue strands of her hair. "But, you've never done it with me before, have you?" he murmured, his free hand slipping under the covers and finding her own, "Y'sure y'want to?" 

She didn't even need to think before she was nodding her head, cheek smushed against the warmth of his chest. "I want to." 

A gentle kiss was pressed to the top of (Y/N)'s head, something silly enough to get her cheeks heating despite the fact she had plans to do something much more scandalous than a little kiss. 

"Wanna see?" he asked her, voice dripping down the length of her spine with his hand pulsing around her own. 

If not for the fact he was loosely holding her hand, she's sure her entire body would have clenched to match the way her tummy did at the sound of his question. "Please." 

"Ooh," he sung, "Polite now, aren't we?" 

His teasing tone fell on deaf ears, her attention transfixed on the way his hand shifted from laying over hers to push the fluff of white comforter out of the way of his lap. The low waist of his grey sweats and the peeking waistline of his underwear were the frame around the bulge she had felt earlier pressing into the curve of her bottom. 

She didn't even have half the mind to be embarrassed at the way her breathing hitched at the idea of seeing what was underneath, not even when Harry gave his own breathy laugh at her reaction. Her hand on his chest felt restless then, wanting to pluck through the layers of clothing covering him and following through on her offer to help him. 

Her fingers curled, the tips pressing into the soft skin of his tummy. "Can... Can I touch you?" 

His heartbeat under her ear stuttered, pounding hard against his ribcage just as he swallowed. "Yeah, go 'head, love. Let me jus'—" 

Cutting himself off, Harry clutched her close to his side as he used his other hand to shuffle his sweats and underwear down his thighs. His cock sprung up once the waist of his briefs cleared his flushed head, ruddy and warm as he let out a muted hiss at the contact. (Y/N) was grateful for the fact he couldn't see her reactions with the way she was curled against his chest, leaving her to freely widen her eyes and mouth to drop open with a breath puffing out. 

Sure, they'd been friends for a long while and weren't necessarily shy around one another, but there was always a line when it came changing or stripping down bare around one another. She'd never seen this much of his body this way—bare lengths of thigh, soft hips, and heavy cock  was all new to her. 

Harry's hand flexed against the planes of her back, a steadying weight against her form. "Alright?" 

Gone was the teasing and the silent laughter. His tone was mellow and attentive, a whisper as if there was anyone around to overhear. 

"Uh-huh," she breathed, watching the way the blocks of muscle lining his stomach jumped at the fanning air grazing his skin, "Just... It's big." 

As much as she didn't want to add to his inflated ego, there was no way she could lie to him with the evidence right in front of her. He was thick and flushed, a ruddy mushroom head with a vein snaking along the length of his cock. A trimmed nest of hair bordered his base, dark and curling. She itched to wrap her hand around him, feel how heavy he was, the warmth he would carry. Would her fingers complete a circle around his shaft or would she just barely make it? Would he be as soft as he looked? 

"Y'can touch if y'want, love. Don't need to be scared—'s jus' me." 

The soothing rumble of his voice under her cheek brought her back to reality, finding her fingertips denting the skin of his stomach. Her nails made tiny crescents in the soft skin just under his butterfly tattoo, anchoring her down to keep from reaching despite the clear permission she'd been given to do so. 

But, like he said, it's just Harry. Her best friend. Who apparently got hard while thinking about her. 

"It's alright?" she prodded, sliding her hand just a fraction of an inch lower over his tummy. 

"Promise, (Y/N)," he murmured, dropping another kiss to the top of her head.

When she didn't immediately move, she caught the movement of his hand from the corner of her eye, the same one that had stripped his lower half. He placed the span of his palm over her hand, warming her skin before he curled his fingers gently around. Using that tender grip, he tentatively moved her hand for her, gliding across the strength of his abs and down the stretch of his pelvis. The skin grew soft as her fingertips met the dark curls at his base just before Harry tugged her upwards, guiding her to wrap her fingers around his shaft with his own mimicking the hold around her. 

"This alright?" he prodded, his thumb running along the outside of her own in a soothing stroke.

All she could manage at the moment was a small nod of her head, cheek skimming the bare of his skin. It didn't take any prompting of his hand to get her to begin a slow stroke over his length, Harry's hand following right over her. A quiet shifting in his breathing happened under her ear, lungs stuttering at the first shallow touch. His hand dropped then, leaving her to take care of him while he reached for the creases in the sheets at his hip instead. 

She familiarized herself with the weight of him in her palm, warm and heavy. The vein snaking around his length pulsed every time she tightened her hand in an experimental flex. His head was spongey and warm when she chanced a small skating of her thumb over his slit, wetness beginning to seep out the longer she touched him. Harry's breathing was shallow though quiet in the silence of his room, leaving her to concentrate on the movements of her hand and the gentle reactions he gave her. 

"Harry?" 

"Yeah, love?" he responded, a lot less composed than he was a mere moment ago. 

"Do you like how I'm doing it? Do you like it this way?" Her questions were shy, but he had told her he would show her how he liked it. As much as she knew he was teasing her before, she hadn't ever done this with him before, obviously, and wanted this to be good for him. The fantasies that had him budging up in his pants, she wanted those to fall flat against the reality. 

The hand that had been spanning her back, warming her skin through her thin top traveled upwards until he was stroking over the messy strands of hair on her head. Gentle fingertips carded through, scratching over her scalp with a tender ease. "Doing really good, love, real good," he breathed out, a smile in his voice she would have wanted to see if not for the enticing sight in front of her, "Maybe a little tighter, though, sweetheart. Y'can be a little rough, 's alright." 

She nodded her head, cheek cushioned by his stomach. "Okay, let me just..." she trailed off, reluctantly slipping her hand away from his length as she shuffled over his form. Running her clean hand through her hair, she caught a glimpse of him through the strands from the corner of her eye, his gaze dark and heavy on her with his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

That gaze followed her as she bent over his length, her breath fanning across his flushed tip as he twitched with a sigh falling from Harry's lips. "What are y'doing, love?" he murmured, his hand that had been warming her back now coming up to brush her hair out of her face.  

"I-I don't want to hurt you," she started, bracing her hand on the thick of his thigh, "So I was going to..." 

(Y/N) cut herself off as she pursed her lips, saliva falling from between them to drop on his prick. From her peripheral, she could see the way Harry's gaze could have been perceived as pure black the way his pupils blew up. His hand in her hair tightened, keeping the strands from obscuring his vision. The warmth of his eyes traced over her profile, heavy and hot as she used her other hand to pass her fist along to spread the drop of spit. The pad of her thumb swiped over his head, bringing her saliva and the blurt of precum that made it's way out as he watched her over him, slicking over his length and covering him. 

A whispered curse fell from Harry's lips, fanning through the warmed air between them with his eyes fighting to fall closed. Slick noises escaped from under her fist as she stroked over his length, warming him with her palm. She took his request, tightening her hold on him and quickening her pace to something rough. In reaction, she saw the way his thighs tensed, fist clenching in the wayward sheets at his hip while his other held her hair in a firm grip. 

"Better?" she prodded, looking to him with a flutter of her lashes. 

"So good, baby," he nodded his head, trying this new petname for her without much thought, "So nice to me." It was a bit silly what he was rambling out with hooded eyes and puffy lips, but that didn't stop her heart from attempting to beat out of her chest and her stomach from  tightening. "Settle down on me, (Y/N). Relax with me." 

His hands on her hair trailed down her body, returning to her back as he urged her to replace her spot on his chest. Cushioning her cheek on his tummy, (Y/N) warmed him, the movements of her hand lagging for only a second before she picked up again. This way, she could hear the rhythm of his heart, the pacing of his breathing underneath her. She felt each of his reactions before she heard him. 

Harry had to prioritize his breathing, small moans and curses falling from his lips as he ran his hand in sporadic circles across her back. (Y/N) stayed as quiet as she could, insisting on hearing every tiny noise he made while she worked over him. She wanted to remember every detail of this moment. 

Her hand glided over his length, feeling every ridge and vein with her thumb swiping over his spongy tip. Everything was slick and sticky, exactly how she felt between her thighs as she watched the way she took care of him.

The hand in her hair tightened for a moment, grabbing her attention just before Harry's rumbled tone filled the bathroom."This might be kind of weird to say but—" 

"I think we're kind of past weird at this point," (Y/N) let out a laugh, feeling Harry's chest heave with his own breathless one. His laughter was cut off with a shuddering breath as she circled his slit with the pad of her thumb, precum following out right after.

"I was jus' gonna say that y'have really soft hands," he continued, voice sounding strained as he finished, "Like—Like, I know we hold hands sometimes, so I knew they were soft, but I don't think I've ever realized how soft and warm y'are, love. 'S re-really nice." 

Normally, she would have ribbed him with a tease for going so soft on her (as if that didn't make it heart flutter, but that wasn't something she wasn't going to talk about), but all his compliment elicited in her was warm cheeks and a stuttered heart. "Thanks," she smiled. 

"Don't let it go to your head," he chided, his hand squeezing down to her shoulder as if to scold her, "You're already a narcissist." 

As much as she was sure he wanted to sound biting, just like he was when he really teased her, everything he said came out with a sigh and a gentle squeeze to her skin. There wasn't much bite to be had with a breathy voice. Instead, (Y/N) only turned her head just enough to press a soft kiss to his tummy, her hand bundled between her chest and his side reaching out to pet over his skin. 

Her eyes were glued to his length as he jumped in her hand, another streak of warm precum falling down the length as she roughly stroked her hand down his shaft. He was covered in a pearly sheen, her hand coated in his spit and the slick of him. She could feel the way the prominent vein along the bottom throbbed, his thighs wound tight and tense on either side of her hand. 

"Are you close?" she prodded, noting the way he was forcing himself to keep his hips from bucking upwards into her fist. 

"Um—Yeah," he got out, swallowing around his tongue, "Kind of lame, but, y'feel really good, love. Not gonna take much more to f-finish me off." 

"I'm happy you feel good," she murmured, quickening her pace and tracing her thumb over his tip just the way she was learning he liked. A quiet laugh could be heard under her ear.

With her hand tight over his length, she worked him over faster and tighter than she had started, the slick noises loud in the quiet of Harry's bedroom. She saw each reaction of his prick in her hand, along with the pounding of his heartbeat under her ear. His hand on her back turned heavy, fingertips digging into her back. Even his hips twitched as he tried to restrain himself from fucking into her hand. 

"I-I'm gonna cum, baby, okay? Ju-Jus' let go if y'don't want the mess, fuck," Harry prattled, sounding a bit out of it as he tried to speak. A string of curses interrupted him before he was able to continue, "So good, baby, so fucking good. Can't believe you've been h-hiding this from me." 

"I didn't know you wanted me to touch you—wasn't hiding," she countered, sure it was falling on deaf ears. 

"Always wanted you, baby, can't believe y'didn't know that," he grumbled out, his hips shifting just as she felt another twitch of his cock in her hand. "F-Fuck, love, 'm cumming, 'm cumming." 

Just as he spoke, his thighs clenched, balls tightened, and cum spurted out of his tip. Despite his warning about the mess—a completely warranted warning as far as she could see—(Y/N) didn't remove her hand. His warmth roped down her hand, dropping down over her fingers and slicking her even more as she continued working him through the high. Every pump of her hand granted her a whispered curse or a stunted breath. Harry's hand on her back kept her squished against his side, warming her more than the crewneck she had adorning her body. 

The mess he made came to a dribble, only small streams coming out when (Y/N) squeezed with her stroking. Ropes of his cum mostly decorated her hand with small spots having landed on the curls bordering his base and the strength of his thighs. Soon enough, it was too much, Harry hissing as she continued to touch him, (Y/N) taking the cue and removing her hand. 

She felt drained as she laid on his tummy, hearing the erratic rate of his heart as he softened. Her eyes came to a close as if she had been the one that had been drained of an orgasm, breathing along with him as he hugged her as well as he could with only one arm around her. (Y/N) cuddled  close to him, placing a distracted kiss to his stomach once more. 

Allowing him extra moments to come down, (Y/N) used her clean hand to help ruck up his pants, tucking him back inside his underwear and sweats. The displaced comforter he had pushed out of the way what felt like hours ago, had been tugged back up over his hips, cushioning around him. 

"C'mere, sweetheart," Harry crooned, voice tired as he spoke for the first time with clarity in his tone, "Let me clean y'up." 

(Y/N) turned to face him with a soft smile on her lips, shuffling closer to him despite the arm he refused to drop from around her. He sat up in lethargic movements, back against the headboard before he reached towards the box of tissues he had standing on his bedside table. He gave her a tender look as he reached for her wrist, a gentle grasp around her hand. 

"You alright?" she asked as he cleaned off her hand, twisting and folding the paper as he dirtied it. 

A breathy laugh fell from his lips, the sound not feeling the same now that she kew what it was like to hear it from his chest. "Yeah, I think 'm doing alright. You?" 

"I'm good," she smiled, twisting her hand so he could clean up her fingers where he had dripped over her. 

"Give me a minute, and we'll take care of you, yeah?" he told her, looking at her through his lashes before he dipped his head down and pressed a delicate kiss to her fingertips. He tossed the soiled tissue in the bin sat a few feet from his bed, the discarding something of an afterthought as he lingered in his kiss. 

"What do you mean?" she asked, mind swirling as she replaced herself against his chest, cheek on his shoulder. 

A careful kiss was pressed to the top of her head, his arm wrapping familiarly around her waist. "'S not fair that 'm the only one that feels good tonight, is it? Gotta take care of m'girl, too." 

My girl—something else she was going to have to think about later.

Tipping her head, she looked up at him with a quiet shake of her head. "We don't have to do that, it's okay." 

A furrow touched his brow, his other hand coming up to cradle her jaw. "I want to, baby. 'M not trying to take advantage of y'being so nice to me—can't be the only one cumming tonight." 

"No, no, it's okay," she stopped him once more, giving him a gentle smile, "I'm too tired, I just wanna sleep with you." 

His gaze dropped over her features, tracing each plane before stopping on the pillows of her cupid's bow. He looked unsure until he matched her eyes once more. She really was too tired, she wasn't lying, especially after the work she put into that.

"Can I kiss you, then? If it's not too... weird." 

"I think we're kinda past weird tonight, right?" she smiled, the grin growing when Harry nudged his nose gently against hers. "You can kiss me." 

That was all Harry wanted to hear before he dipped his head down and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was decidedly softer, less urgent than what had happened in this same bed only a few moments earlier. It was a funny thought, (Y/N) tried to fend off. She had jerked him off before she had ever even kissed him. 

The contact was innocent, quiet and fleeting. Harry shared small pecks with her, seals of his lips over hers over and over before he slotted his bottom lip between her two. His body was her anchor, arm around her waist and his hand on her jaw keeping her settled in the moment. He only stopped when he could feel her smiling against his kiss, drawing just enough away to nudge his nose against hers once more. 

(Y/N) fluttered her eyes open to catch him already looking at her, a smile on his lips that matched the one that had bloomed on her own. His hand on her cheek grazed his thumb over the height of her cheekbone before he dropped to wrap both arms around her waist. He hugged her tightly against his body, prompting her to cling to him with a hug around his middle. 

Her face was tucked against his neck as he spoke to her, the full of his lips brushing over the sensitive skin of her neck. "You're m'best friend, baby. You know that?" 

She couldn't help but feel like he meant it a little bit differently than when he'd said it before. 

"You're my best friend, too, H." 

She definitely meant it in a different way than she ever had before. 

—————

thank u smsmsmsm for reading and to whoever requested this little idea a super long time ago!!! sorry for any mistakes and ig you have any ideas or requests of your own pls send them in !!!

[jarofstyles]

Flame- the masterlist

Best friends to FWB to ….?

Y/N and Harry have been friends for a while. What’s a drunken make out or two? The feelings have been brewing, the touches have increased, but will will push them over the edge to light the kindling that’s been waiting for the flame?

Warnings: angst, smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, graphic description, spanking, choking, etc

Check out our Patreon!

COMPLETE!

1. Flame

2. Spark

3. Ignite

4. Blaze

5. Crackle

6. Pop

7. Smolder

8. Glow

9. Wildfire

Divider by firefly-graphics

[finelinevogue]

would u be able to do kind a trope-y story?? ik it’s super cliche and that but could you please do the classic rom-com moment where y/n is getting ready or smtn and Harry is watching her and she turns to him and says “what?” and then he just says “nothing” like best friends to lovers kinda thing? Idk if that made any sense but tyyy!!!

ok let’s go besties

You finished putting on your makeup, using the handheld mirror to check all your angles and make sure everything was perfect.

It was date night tonight and you wanted it to be perfect.

Once your hair had cooperated with you for how you wanted it to look it was time to decide on an outfit. Your date hadn’t told you where you were going on so you weren’t sure how casual or how business attired you needed to be.

You went to your wardrobe and fished out some black leather trousers and a black cropped vest top ( * ). You finished it off with some green heels that you found comfortable, before you started to add your jewellery.

It took you a minute to catch on that Harry had been stood at the door staring at you.

When you caught his stare through the mirror you couldn’t help but smile at him shyly, because his eyes were so intense sometimes. It didn’t help that you had a slight crush on him either.

But there were rules when it came to childhood best friends.

“What?” You said, fiddling with your necklace and trying to put it on whilst also keeping a check on Harry.

“Nothing.” He sighed, twitching his little bunny nose to keep him from revealing anything more.

Harry was a severely closed off guy. It wasn’t his childhood that had brought this on, but bad previous relationships. They had tainted him and sometimes days were very dark for him. He was always grateful to have you though, he’d say, to help him through and into the sunshine once more.

“Okay?” You furrowed your eyebrows, sighing in annoyance when you still couldn’t get the clap behind your neck. “Fuck.”

“Here. Let me.” Harry said, walking towards you.

It was clear he’d just showered because he smelt like that shampoo that he’d been using forever. The one scent that reminded you of home. If you could nestle against him forever with only that smell, you’d be happy forever too.

He stood behind you, looking at you through the full length mirror. He chewed his bottom lip and looked at where the necklace problem was without further comments.

His fingers touched yours momentarily and you jolted them away at the slight feel of buzzing electricity course through your veins. Only he made you feel that way. No matter how many dates you went on, it would only be him.

But he didn’t know that and you were too scared to loose him as a best friend to tell him. He needed you a lot more than you wanted him to be something more than friends.

“There.” He said too close to the skin on your neck and you felt the hairs stand on end.

“Thank you.” You spoke softly.

“So who’s the lucky date?” He asked, walking to sit on the end of your bed.

He often made himself very comfortable in your apartment. You two were very comfortable around each other, always cooking with each other and even sleeping together in the same bed. You two had no boundaries apart from anything sexual - but even that was a grey area because it had never been discussed.

“Um, Miguel.”

“The guy that took you out for seafood even though you’re deathly allergic?” Harry asked, a slight annoyance in his tone.

“In his defence. It was our first date and I forgot to mention it.”

“Yeah, well, he should’ve checked that the restaurant was even okay for you in the first place before booking. Dickhead.” Harry tutted, leaning back on the palms of his hands and manspreading like he didn’t realise he was having a blushing effect on you.

“Come on H. Don’t be like that.” You sighed.

“Like what? I’m just saying, this guy nearly unintentionally killed you last time. I’m allowed to dislike.”

“Look I don’t have time for you to start acting like a 5 year old right now. Just… Be ready to bust me out of there if a major red flag comes up.” You said, spraying on some last drops of perfume before picking up your clutch.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“H?”

“Mhm.” He said, his mood seeming to sadden with every closing minute to your exit.

“We’ll watch Bridget Jones and eat Ben n Jerrys after I get back, okay?” You compromised, wanting him to be here when you got back anyways.

“Okay.”

You nodded and smiled a weak smile, before heading off outside your bedroom door and towards your date. You didn’t make it get before you ran back into your room.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Will you go already. I’m already counting down the minutes until you’re back.” He said and your heart fluttered a thousand butterflies.

“Really?”

“Well the Ben n Jerrys isn’t going to eat itself is it?”

Your heart dropped a little more then, because you had to remind yourself that you were leaving Harry to go on a date that wasn’t with him because you could never be with him.

[sexatoxbridge]

Me getting the exact birthday gift that I told everyone I wanted

[itslottiehere]

friday 27/1, 12am BST, “i don’t wanna hear about him”, my new angsty one shot will be posted!!

if anyone wants to be tagged, please let me know here or in my asks!! <333 i really hope you’ll like it!