#big boss retire bitch

[bitchesgetriches]

On leaving home for the first time:

Leaving Home before 18: A Practical Guide for Cast-Offs, Runaways, and Everybody in Between

Ask the Bitches: “I Just Turned 18 and My Parents Are Kicking Me Out. How Do I Brace Myself?”

Ask the Bitches: I Want to Move Out, but I Can’t Afford It. How Bad Would It Be to Take out Student Loans to Cover It?

How To Start at Rock Bottom: Welfare Programs and the Social Safety Net

Advice I Wish My Parents Gave Me When I Was 16

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Make Myself Financially Secure Before Age 30?

You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

Master the Logistics and Etiquette of Moving Out

Season 2, Episode 5: “What Do I Need to Know about Moving into My First Apartment?”

On basic finance:

How the Hell Does One Open a Bank Account? Asking for a Friend.

How Do You Write and Cash Checks? Asking for a Friend.

Budgets Don’t Work for Everyone—Try the Spending Tracker System Instead

You Must Be This Big to Be an Emergency Fund

A Hand-Holding Guide to Getting Your First Credit Card

How to File Your Taxes FOR FREE: Simple Instructions for the Stressed-Out Taxpayer

Dafuq Is Credit and How Do You Bend It to Your Will?

How to Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year

Dafuq Is Interest and How Does It Work for the Forces of Darkness?

What’s the Difference Between Savings and Checking Accounts, and How Should I Be Using Them?

Dafuq Is a Down Payment? And Why Do You Need One to Buy Stuff?

Dafuq Is Insurance and Why Do You Even Need It?

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not

Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?

Do NOT Make This Disastrous Beginner Mistake With Your Retirement Funds

On managing your household:

How the Hell Does One Laundry? Asking for a Friend.

How the Hell Does One Wash Dishes? Asking for a Friend.

Ask the Bitches: Why Are Painted Mason Jars the Internet’s Only Solution to My Tiny Apartment Woes?

9 Essential Tools for Apartment-Dwellers (and 6 That Are Kinda Useless)

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Survive in an Apartment with No Heat?

How to Save Money on Your Beloved Pets

Bullshit Reasons Not to Buy a House: Refuted

How To Maintain Your Car When You’re Barely Driving It

25 Tricks to Stay Cool WITHOUT Air Conditioning

On feeding and caring for yourself:

You Should Learn To Cook. Here’s Why.

How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss

If You Don’t Eat Leftovers I Don’t Even Want to Know You

I Think I Need to Go the Emergency Room?

Ask the Bitches: Ugh, How Do I Build the Habit of Taking Meds?

On maintaining relationships:

Season 1, Episode 8: “My Mother Demands Information About My One-Night Stands.”

Season 1, Episode 3: “My Parents Have Bad Credit. Should I Help by Co-signing Their Mortgage?”

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Say “No” When a Loved One Asks for Money… Again?

Ask the Bitches: My Dad Sucks with Money. How Do I Make Him Change?

You Need to Talk to Your Parents About Their Retirement Plan

Season 2, Episode 1: “I’m Financially Stable, but My Friends Aren’t. The Guilt Is Crushing!”  

On starting your career:

22-Year-Olds Don’t Belong in Grad School

High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway?

The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career

Your College Major May Not Prepare You for Your Job—but It Can Prepare You for Life

The Ugly Truth About Unpaid Internships

Your School or Workplace Benefits Might Include Cool Free Stuff

[badkitty3000]

What did you think was ooc for Five?

Great question, and I have already covered it a bit in my post here, but I could probably yammer on all day about it, so I'll add some thoughts.

Season 1 -3 Five was focused, determined, manic, arrogant, sometimes mean, violent, out-spoken, and full of love for his family above all. Yes, he insulted them and had no time or patience for their shit, but considering everything he'd been through and what he was up against, there was a reason for it. Season 4 Five? Ok, yeah, I can buy that maybe he was depressed and didn't really know what to do with himself anymore. Myself and others have certainly written him that way a few times. But, damn, he spent like all of season 3 bitching about wanting to be retired and here he could be! He could have played the stock market a few times, bought a little place somewhere, picked up a nice lady at the local Bingo hall and lived his peaceful live he deserved. Instead, he works (inexplicably) for the government and just wanders around with his sad little trenchcoat and CIA-issued pistol and flashlight, taking orders from The Man and just...existing I guess. I could see if they made it so that he joined the CIA to get inside info on Reginald and he had spent the last 6 years quietly plotting to take him down and get his revenge or set the world straight again. But no...he apparently hadn't even tried to look into anything Reggie was doing? Like he was just "*shrug*, it's probably fine".

Five loves his family above all else. We know this. If not, he wouldn't have spent decades alone fighting to get back to them and save all their stupid asses. Now, all of sudden, he just doesn't seem to care? Yes, he's present and has obviously kept in touch. He goes to the birthday party, etc. But there is zero interaction with Klaus, or his nieces, or even Viktor. When at the end, he finally gets some fight back (although for completely absurd reasons) and snaps at Luther, the whole family gasps in shock like this is some new occurence that Five would be mean to them. And he'd said much worse to them before! So, that leads me to believe he just has spent the last 6 years being a completely different person and everyone forgot he's actually an asshole?

And back to the family thing...fighting his brother over his wife? Falling in love with Lila, the same person who: conspired behind his and Diego's back in Season 2, was raised by his villainous boss, was the daughter of two innocent people he killed, tried to kill him with her fists, a frying pan, her feet, a knife, electrocution; and who he tried to kill multiple times as well. Yes, they have had time to heal some wounds and they have a shared traumatic experience with The Handler but come on...he would never! He would never be attracted to her that way. He would never betray Diego that way. And he certainly wouldn't fight him over her, not when she and Diego are married and have kids together. I don't care how many years they were together alone...just no. Best friends? Sure. Lovers? Fuck no.

Physically, where was his prowess? Five is supposed to be the all-time badass assassin, trained in martial arts and weaponry. His body is young at 19-20 years old, and at the peak of his physical fitness. Even without his powers he should be able to kick some ass, or at least try to. And then when he does have his powers, he just doesn't know how to use them correctly anymore? And again, he looks slow and weak in a fight. His solution to taking down the big Bennifer blob thing was to fire an entire clip at long range at it, and then just go "huh...weird that didn't work". Why wasn't he looking around the mall for a weapon? An axe? Something else to fight against it! That's what he does...that's his THING! We were fucking robbed of a Five-centric badass fight scene, when there were so many opportunities for one. Hell, he could have taken down a room full of Keepers with a fucking ballpoint pen while singing along to Abba's Dancing Queen! Why didn't we get that?

Meeting with Reginald. Remember in Season two when Five met with Reggie at the Tiki bar? He sat and had a drink with him, but it was still tension-filled with a lot of emotion there. Then in Season 3, when he was basically like "you're a sadistic lunatic that is going to kill all of us" and got right in his old man's face and told him he was a giant dick? This time...he's just standing around Reggie's house shooting the shit and not even acting like he's mad. That is just not the same guy. I realize this was supposed to be Viktor's fight with Reggie, but they still could have shown Five to have a little emotion there.

So, there you have it. I could probably keep going, but this is way too long as it is. It's just heartbreaking, really. This character that we have all come to love for all of his complexities and faults and heroics was just diminished to a one-dimensional, uninteresting character with no regard for his family. Basically, just undoing three season's worth of plot and character development. And it's not Aidan's fault. He did the best he could with the shit he was given, and I feel sorry for him. For as much as we love this character, Five was his. He made him come to life and there's not many other actors his age that could have pulled that off. So, I'm sad this was his end. They really did him dirty.

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Pretty P.A. FINAL Chapter 9

Summary: Y/N has been the personal assistant to the most influential and famous fashion modeling agency director in the industry for the past 13 years.  They’ve decided to retire, and are leaving the agency in the hands of their protege and former model, Bucky Barnes.  He seems plenty qualified, and Y/N is excited for a chance to work with him.  Change always takes time,  but the new insanely hot boss is distrustful and hesitant towards her. 

**curvy reader** **Y/N/N = Your nickname ** Warnings: mentions of sexual assault (not from Bucky), some violence, blood, smut

Previous chapter

The phone calls and texts Y/N had sent after the last fashion show had been to Sharon’s modeling agency as well as her most recent designers and fashion houses she had worked with, detailing her actions and Olympus’ thinly veiled threats to cut future projects and contracts if they continued to work with her.  Sharon was promptly dropped by her agency and dumped from each upcoming job she’d booked.  Bucky didn’t know she had done that, and as far as Y/N was concerned, he didn’t need to know.  He was still shaken from what had happened, and was having a hard time going to events and needing Y/N to be next to him at all times.  She was happy to do it, but frustrated that it had to be this way.

Bucky had had enough of being secretive.  “Babes come on,” he whined after work one day.  Y/N just chuckled as she walked away from him in his apartment, making them some dinner.  He followed her from the fridge to the island to the stove.  “Some people already know.”

“So?” she asked. 

“What are you afraid of?” Bucky asked.

That made Y/N stop and look at him.  “What do you mean?”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed.  “What are you afraid of if people find out we’re together?”

Y/N blinked.  What was she afraid of?  Like Tony said, there had been rumors of her sleeping with him for years.  She had been through the drama of people thinking she’d slept her way to her job.  What difference would it make now?  Fourteen years into the job?  With a new boss?  And she was still getting the job done better than most.  She sighed and walked up to him, hugging him around the waist.  “I’m sorry, love,” she said, kissing his chest.  “I just didn’t want to be known as the assistant who slept with her boss, like a cliche.  But I’m gonna get those kinds of rumors said about me no matter who I work for or how good I am at my job.  I’m sorry for not being brave enough to be open about us.  But I’m ready now.”

Bucky smiled adoringly at her.  “I understand.  You don’t deserve those types of things said about you.  But this,” he gestured between the two of them, “this is special.  I’m not the kind of guy to sleep with just anybody, especially someone who works for me.  And that was a big reason why I didn’t try to pursue you at first, as much as I wanted to.  But you, babes,” he reached down and squeezed her butt, making her laugh.  “You were just too good, I had to have you.”  

Y/N smiled.  “So how did you want to do this?  I still don’t think we should act like a couple at work.”

“I agree,” he nodded.  “Work is still work, and us is still us.  Separate.  But if I feel like giving you a kiss in my office, away from prying eyes,” he reached his hand up and gripped her jaw gently, “I want that damn kiss.”

Y/N smirked.  She pulled his hand away and kissed his palm before reaching up behind his neck, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck then pulling it harshly.  Bucky moaned as she pulled his head down to her eye level.  “And if some bitch flirts with you on shoots or at shows, you shut her down before I have to kick her ass,” she sneered at him.  Bucky nodded quickly.  Y/N’s regular smile came back and she kissed his nose before releasing him.  “So…you wanna make some kind of big announcement or just let people figure it out as we go?”

***

“What are you doing this Friday?” Natasha asked Y/N the next day.

“Oh, uh, I have a date,” Y/N said, continuing to type.

“Oooh, is it with your mystery man again?” she asked, winking at her.

“Yes,” Y/N smiled as she turned to look at her.

“You’re so cute whenever you talk about him,” Natasha smirked.  “Are you ever going to let me meet him?”

“Well, uh…you have met him,” Y/N said, looking away bashfully.

Natasha looked shocked at that, then Bucky opened his office door.  “Hey, babes, what time was that reservation on Friday?” he asked nonchalantly.

Y/N blushed.  “At 7,” she replied.

“Great,” he smiled, then shut his door.

Natasha’s mouth was dropped wide open, her eyes wide as she looked from Bucky’s door to Y/N back and forth multiple times.  “You…and Bucky?” she whispered.

Y/N leaned away from her, her lips in a tight line as she tried to gauge Natasha’s reaction.  “Yes?”  Natasha leaned over at lightning speed and smacked Y/N’s arm.  “Ow!  What the fuck?”

“I KNEW IT!” she yelled, Y/N shushing her.  “You bitch, I knew it!  I could see it every time you looked at him and vice versa.  Steve owes me $100!” she whooped and ran towards the lounge.

“Okay, see you later,” Y/N laughed, shaking her head.  “Well…there goes the secrecy.”

Within minutes the entire office knew.  The models all approached her with knowing smiles and congratulations, Steve stomping into Bucky’s office and yelling at him for a good two minutes about losing the bet and honesty within friendships.  There was a crowd gathering at Y/N’s desk and then Bucky walked out.  “Okay, everybody chill!” he said, his hands raised high and speaking loudly to get everyone’s attention.  They all looked at him with mirthful smiles and giggles.  “Yes, I’m with Y/N,” he said, glancing at her with a smile.  Y/N hid her face in embarrassment at the spectacle of it all.  “She’s obviously very embarrassed, so let’s all be adults about this and let us be happy, you animals,” he laughed, and they all laughed with him.  There were a few congratulations given and then they all slowly disbursed.  Once she was left alone Y/N turned to Bucky with a playful glare.  “What?” he asked.

She sighed.  “Cats outta the bag, I guess,” she said, with a smile breaking through.

“Finally,” Bucky said, leaning against her desk.  He looked around for prying eyes then leaned over and kissed her gently.  “I love you, babes.”

“I love you,” she replied with a bright smile, “boss.” 

THE END

@calwitch @sebastians-love @hzdhrtss

**Thank you for the likes, comments, reblogs and follows! If you have any requests or ideas let me know! Love y'all!

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Eva Dahlbeck (Smiles of a Summer Night, A Lesson in Love, Kastrullresan)— Beautiful, formidable, funny. Ingmar Bergman called her a "battleship of femininity" and cast her in several of his comedies. It's a joy to see her pulling all the strings in Smiles of a Summer Night while her two boyfriends make utter fools of themselves.

Maureen O’Hara (The Parent Trap, The Quiet Man)—They called her the Queen of Technicolor. That right there should help introduce people to the fiery, wonderful, stunning Maureen O’Hara. She was from Ireland, born in 1920, and started in theater at the age of ten. At 15, she was winning drama awards, including one for her performance as Portia in the Merchant of Venice. At 16, she was the youngest pupil to graduate from the Guildhall School of Music. By 18, she transitioned to film, starting off with a bang alongside Charles Laughton in Hitchcock’s Jamaica Inn, and proceeded to work steadily up through the early 1970s. She was in adventures and comedies and romances, spent a lot of time in westerns giving merry hell to John Wayne (and less merry hell to the indomitable John Ford — she held her own even when he was verbally abusive and demeaning to her). She was in The Quiet Man, which was the first American-made film entirely filmed in a foreign country. She helped make American Christmas what it is with Miracle on 34th Street. She played a lineup of headstrong, forthright women second only, perhaps, to Katharine Hepburn. She was married three times, lived for a while with a boyfriend in Mexico, sued for custody of her daughter in the 1950s, AND sued a magazine for libel in the same era. After mostly retiring from acting, she edited a magazine. She eventually sold the magazine to spend more time with her grandson, but even then ran a ladies fashion store. She was an outspoken, brilliant, passionate lady, with amazing red hair, a career to envy, and — well — that face!

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Eva Dahlbeck:

Maureen O'Hara:

I thought she was one of the most beautiful women in the world when I was a kid and I have yet to really change my mind. Always loved her temper and her red hair. Plus she was kind of a MILF in The Parent Trap

Haughty, red hair, hot.

The hair. The accent. The figure. The acting chops. The perfection.

I would have to give up my passport if I didn't submit Maureen O'Hara but also have you seen her? Not only did she look like that (she was called the Queen of Technicolor, though she wasn't a big fan of that sobriquet), she was also very funny and tough as nails. She faced off against Walt Disney in a contract dispute and the legend goes that when someone mentioned her at his deathbed, he sat up and said 'That bitch!'. Her comment on that story is "At least he didn't think of me and say, 'That wimp'." She struggled to get serious roles for a time, saying ""Hollywood would never allow my talent to triumph over my face," so she plays the sexy princess/pirate/harem girl in a LOT of early movies that she referred to as "Tits and Sand" films, she being the tits in question. She also turned down so many leading men and studio bosses (Errol Flynn and Howard Hughes are among her rejects) that there were rumours spread that she was a lesbian. Many egos were battered it seems. I'm including the infamous Lady Godiva scene in the photo propaganda for the sheer Moment of it [link] . It was a bit of a flop critically, but it was one of Clint Eastwood's first film appearances and she said he told her later that he was very glad of the money at the time. She was a very proud Irish woman and when she went for her American citizenship they insisted on referring to her as British (the timeline of Irish independence is a bit wibbly wobbly, we won't get into it here). She refused to accept American citizenship under that condition and argued her way through every level of US immigration she could find, supposedly saying "I'm not responsible for your antiquated records here in Washington", until a judge finally gave up and said "Give her what she wants, just get her out of here". This made her the first ever person seeking US citizenship to be proclaimed Irish on the record! And while we don't embrace the leprechaun imagery quite so enthusiastically today, her dressing her dog up in a little shamrock hat is too cute for you all to miss so I'm including that in the photo propaganda.

*Marge Simpson voice*: I just think she's neat 🤷‍♀️

[bibibbon]

Hello another art to prove my point, I hope

Mr sexyman

The biggest possum

His big victory here is handed to him. And it's odd how no one talks about Izu. "Duh izu is not the center of the universe" ok, fair. He isn't. But Izu is the reason for why overhaul is defeated and shig managed to get revenge (it's not for Magne, it's for his ego) here where I find odd....

They didnt saw Izu fighting a overhaul as if is a boss fight? No one saw shit? And even if there a valid excuse as "oh they didn't saw the fight bc X" ok fine....and the rest?

Ochako was there, she saw...and what Izu get is.... nothing!

Look not saying Ochako owns him anything. She doesn't. And the tiring idea "izu gets no bitches" is annoying. Making girls date Izu wouldn't change a damn thing ...but is too much to imagine after such boss fight ...his "friends" would be more appreciate of him?

Ofc. This is MHA write by hori. Fuck you Izu.

What makes me go 😬 is how Iida looked down on Izu and called him criminal.

(Yes, the house arrest happened before the overhaul arc just to clarify here)

But what Izu got after is nothing.

We had nigheye dying and still holding on his beliefs. Am did nothing.

Mirio does nothing bc he doesn't know and never will.

And again, heroes should work to help and not to get fame but why the whole shit "hero can't get fame" applies only to Izu...when all the others heroes do get fame and still do their jobs ?

Back to the image. Overhaul was defeated by Izu and shig got his revenge (for his ego) and that's it....we lost a great villain for absolutely nothing.

And Shig does nothing to this.

Shiga doesn't even mention Izu's fight

He is a husk

Izu is underveloped and underappreciated to insane degree.

And all of that...for absolutely nothing.

This manga does piss me off sometimes.

Hi @mikeellee 👋

The overhaul arc had some solid ideas but I do wish that the execution was better.

The arc is supposed to be a big first step for both izuku and shigaraki. There is clear symbolism of this. This is the first dark and proper arc for mha.

The overhaul arc is also the first arc where there is a clear loss for the heroes. In the end we see two hero deaths in this arc and the fact that they weren't able to successfully capture and stop the villains. The arc also seemed like it would end with them NOT being able to save Eri which would of been a worse loss for them.

This is all symbolic as we see all mights retirement and reign of peace end and an era of uncertainty and imbalance begins. We see straight from the beginning how this is negatively effecting the heroes.

Izuku is urged to step up to his role to use the image that he created for himself in the sports festival and develop it even further. We see Izuku's heroism and what he stands for up close in this arc and it's futher emphasised as its contrasted by mirio's own heroism.

Izuku and mirio are supposed to be contrasts in this arc.

Overhaul and shigaraki are also supposed to be contrasts in this arc.

Izuku and shigaraki are also supposed to be contrasts but these are contrasts that don't heavily interact this arc. I actually don't mind them not having major interactions in this arc but I do think there needed to be minor ones at least shigaraki and izuku acknowledging one another in this arc.

This can be done with izuku making small connections between eri and shigaraki. This can also be done with shigaraki acknowledging izuku's strengths and maybe thinking of recruiting izuku onto his ranks.

Izuku actually does receive some acknowledgement in this arc of how smooth his take down of overhaul is and this is done by nejire. However, the way izuku seems to receive rewards and praise within the series seems idk lacking and somewhat hidden (while yes this is supposed to be a point) I do think that a lot of his efforts usually go unnoticed specifically by those close to him.

Ultimately the arc fails in properly convincing me that both izuku and shigaraki are

1) worthy of their positions

2) that they have outgrown their foils and have started to become the new good and evil

Now moving onto the second point, the house arrest issue is a weird case.

After all of the development iida went through in the hosu arc you would think it would properly effect him as intended so it's incredibly annoying to have iida point fingers at izuku and label him a criminal.

What's even weirder is that no one not even izuku objected to the house arrest. I assume that house arrest will be a big mark on ones record so someone like izuku should of protested it since he only started to fight in the name of self defense and even went to actually ack bakugo's emotions and allowing him to take them out on him which he didn't need to do and he shouldn't of done that.

It's incredibly weird that iida and ochako who are aware of bakugo's aggressive and outright bullying towards midoriya whether that be name calling or aggression let this slide without a comment and without fighting for him once they find out what happens.

The reason that they look like such bad friends is because of a multitude of things like:

Lack of screentime between them and izuku

The way their behaviour magically changes towards bakugo

The lack of give there is in the friendship which also falls to the first point

[teecupangel]

Yknow what, fuckin crossover time. Desmond crossover with Tangled The Series (or whichever name you wanna use). He’s a bartender so he’d get in great with Varian and his alchemy. The moonstone and black rocks are some Isu fuckery and it reacts to Des cause…sun? Zahn Tiri gets bitch slapped cause this jackass got nothing on Juno. Just…I think it’d be fun and I really want Varian to have more friends. #justiceforvarian

Does it have any other title? I only know it as Tangled the Series XD

I kinda like the idea of him owning the bar in the movie but, since we’re focusing on the series here, let’s say he owns the tavern in the castletown.

He’s been… ‘unintentionally’ adopting street urchins by letting them do errands for him while providing them with food and a room on the second floor of his tavern.

(It was meant to be for guests but his tavern’s customers are mostly local. The most use those rooms had were too drunk patrons he let sleep there instead of trying to walk out of the tavern.

His best sellers are cocktail drinks he invented himself (remembered from his old world) and that made him earn the name ‘Concoction Meister’.

… from a very drunk regular who got the entire tavern shouting it.

It kinda stuck later on.

It’s because of this that Varian checked the tavern out because he mistook the name as something connected to alchemy.

It wasn’t but Desmond let him have a mocktail (“No alcohol for you, kid”) and he became a regular there who liked to talk to Desmond about his ideas because Desmond can keep up (thanks to his Bleeds, most of the time) and even has ideas of his own at times.

Then Rapunzel was found and things happened…

Desmond wasn’t really planning on getting in the middle of any of these.

For one, he was find just chilling as a tavern owner.

The kingdom was peaceful and he was cool thinking of this kinda like his retirement.

Then…

He started to see Varian change…

And something inside him just keeps sending alarms all over.

Like something big was going to happen.

And he didn’t know what yet.

.

Unorganized Notes:

So in this one, Desmond is a sorta morality pet of Varian (a morally ambigious morality pet XD). He might even become one for Cass if you want but the main point is that he and Varian are close enough that, when shit hits the fan, Varian would confide on Desmond because he believed Desmond would understand him. That’s where Varian’s arc would change.

Desmond doesn’t make a Brotherhood in this one but he does have an information network that lets him know things a commoner should not know.

That information network (which includes kids Desmond sorta adopted) are gonna be Varian’s support group because they see Varian as part of their family of misfits. The kids even call him ‘big bro’ at times and think of him as one of them.

(Not that Varian and Desmond think that any adopting was happening).

So you wanted the moonstone to be an Isu related bs. This does mean that the Sundrop flower will also become an Isu related bs XD

And, no, we are not making Desmond be influenced by the Sundrop flower.

But he does react to it and the moonstone.

Because he was brought back from the dead using the same ‘mechanics’ that created the sundrop flower back in his world.

His darkened arm with golden circuitry that he hides is actually evidence. Because the light of his arm?

It’s the same golden glow that Rapunzel’s hair had when she still had the power of the sundrop flower.

And it was by punching Zahn Tiri with said arm that he kinda… skipped a few ‘episodes’ and just finished the big boss fight XD

[writingforfishes]

This is all Worm's Fault

@worm-writes-hicfics, congratulations. This is completely your fault.

This is a hicfic fanfic from Ha.zbin H.otel.

The character's names are broken up by periods to hopefully be more difficult in searching for by the non-hiccups kink tumblr community.

This particular fandom is pretty big and passionate. I'm good with this fiction not gaining much attention past other hiccup kinksters.

If someone happens to find it that isn't into hiccups that's actually not a big deal because this fic is literally the tamest hic fic I have ever written.

It is saccharine sweet. It is teeth rotting. No one has any arousal whatsoever. It is completely unfiltered because there is no reason to filter it.

I will still do CW's because for people not familiar with the fandom it might be needed.

CW's

Lots of language. F-words, s-words. If that's not your jam, do a scroll.

Also mentions of porn and a porn star character.

Alcohol mentions.

This takes place is Hel, btw.

The characters are demons.

One character is an arachnid inspired demon and thus has many limbs.

The other is a winged cat.

Mentions of an abusive boss.

Painful hiccups that have gone on for a while (but they do end).

I do ask if you reblog this you please do not put the fandom or characters in the tags unfiltered.

“Hmlk!-uh...hrmlk!-fuck!”

An.gel had been hiccuping for almost an hour in front of Hu.sk’s bar. He’d been leaning on the bar top as they’d been having a 'casual' chat about their 'bosses'. (AKA, bitching and complaining.) At first the hiccups didn’t seem to bother him. They’d tried some tried and true bartender cures, but An.gel admitted that when he got the hiccups it was impossible to cure them. That seemed to be holding true.

“Why don’t you just let them out? It can’t help keeping them in like that,” Hu.sk noted, lazily cleaning the glasses they’d used.

It was late and everyone else in the hotel had retired to...whatever they did. Hu.sk really couldn’t find himself caring about the others outside of when they were bothering them with participation or drinking from his bar. At least that’s what he told himself.

“Cause they’re hrmlk!-loud as fuck!” An.gel spat. The spider-demon curled in on himself a little and Hu.sk hid a fond smile as he looked down to put away the glass he’d wiped clean.

The bartender didn’t mention that there was literally no one in the lobby to hear the hiccups, but perhaps An.gel perceived that his hiccups could be possibly heard from inside the rooms. If he didn’t, Hu.sk assumed An.gel was embarrassed for Hu.sk, himself, to hear them. It was an endearing concept. He tried not to let it linger.

“So? You’re loud all the time,” Hu.sk scoffed, regaining his gruff manner. No need to show An.gel his soft side too much, yet. Or ever.

“Yeah sm—smart guy hrrrmlk!-fuck!” the porn star rubbed into the fur on his chest, on his sternum, and squinted his eyes in mild pain. “But I can control that. Hrmlk’kl!-fucking shit! Ow!”

They hadn’t seemed to cause An.gel this much discomfort when they’d started, but they’d been going on for a while and seemed to be getting worse.

“They sound painful,” Hu.sk noted. “So, you okay just being in pain over a little embarrassment?”

“Hey n—nothing wrong with hmmp’k!-with a little bit-mmmpk!-bit of pain. MMK’K! Owwwww.”

An.gel’s head collapsed on the bar. He pulled one set of arms up to cover it while the other wrapped around his lithe body. When the next hiccup hit his entire abdomen jolted and he whined again.

“Yeah...I can see that…” Hu.sk noted, dryly.

“Shut nnnk!-up!” An.gel replied, muffled with the bar against his mouth.

After a few seconds of watching and listening to the pitiful creature continuing to hiccup and whimper as he continued to press his head against the surface of the bar (no doubt leaving a facial smear that Hu.sk would have to polish away) the owl cat sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Sorry if I’m an-hnnk!-annoying ya. I’ll leave hlmk!-leave if ya want. Try to hngk!-to sleep these b—bastards off mmk! Ugh…” An.gel said to Hu.sk’s sigh. He’d lifted his head from the bar finally, eyes narrowed in exhaustion tinged with pain and annoyance.

And sure, Hu.sk thought, that might have been a tactic to get attention. But the facial expression seemed more genuine than An.gel’s usual put-ons for attention. Too subtle. And Hu.sk may have been cynical, but he’d like to think he’d stopped being outright cruel. Unless it was deserved.

“No-no. That’s not what I was sighin’ about,” he grumbled. “It’s just-I know something that might help but I’m trying to decide how to do it without you thinking I’m coming on to you.”

An.gel’s eyes widened a little at the admission, eyes full of curiosity and suspicion.

“Why wouldn’t y-nngk!-you wanna come on NNK’L!-ow!-onto me?” he said, with a fair amount of teasing.

It’s not like An.gel hadn’t literally thrown himself at him multiple times in the past. Admittedly, it was before he’d started to develop...he didn’t want to call it ‘feelings’. Having ‘feelings’ for someone felt dirtier than any other thing he’d ever done on tape or stage. It was before he developed something for Hu.sk.

“Ugh, dude, I just don’t wanna be like all your other...whatevers. Listen, if you don’t want me to help that’s fine,” Hu.sk said grumpily.

“Okay o-HNGK!-kay! Ow…” An.gel said and paused to wince at the intensity of that hiccup. “I’ll take an—any help I can gEH!et at this point!”

Hu.sk eyeballed him before tightening his lips over his teeth and then seeming to come to a decision. He casually removed his hat. He could tell An.gel take interest in the motion but a glare from him prevented the performer from commenting.

“Go lay down on the couch and try to relax. I’ll meet you over there,” he said shortly.

“O...k-hlnk!-kay…” An.gel said, with some suspicion.

“Oh, relax. I’m not gonna scare you or anything. ‘Sides, doubt you’d scare easily anyway. I just gotta clean your face smear off the bar and I’ll be over there,” Hu.sk said. “Try to get relaxed, okay?”

He didn’t maintain eye contact with An.gel so, confused, An.gel did what he said. He reclined on the sofa but had a hard time relaxing. Some of it was because the way his body jostled with each hiccup that he continued to stubbornly suppress was painful. Some of it was the anticipation of not knowing what Hu.sk had planned. And, he admitted, some of that anticipation was excitement.

Hu.sk grabbed a rag and rubbed at the imprint of An.gel’s face as he watched that face winced with pain as An.gel settled onto the couch. For a moment he seemed to relax as he reclined. How long had Val had him on his feet today? How long on his back? Hu.sk didn’t want to think about it.

But the second An.gel hiccuped again his back arched and a flash of pain came over those flamboyant features. The expression was much more subtle than Hu.sk was used to An.gel making. It let him know it was real and not a put-on. One of An.gel’s hands was back on his chest, and another seemed to massage his ribs while a third ran up and down his abdomen.

Hu.sk sighed again. He really hoped he could offer some help. And oh how his old self would have laughed at that.

Hu.sk came over finally. He wiped his hands awkwardly on his pants, unexpectedly nervous.

“Long time no s-hlmk!-see!” An.gel said, flirtation being a natural state of being. But it wasn’t lavish or exaggerated so Hu.sk didn’t feel affronted by it.

“You okay with me-um-layin’ on top of you?” Hu.sk asked.

“S-HLNK!-sure?” An.gel agreed with confusion. He rubbed his chest again.

“Not, like, sexual or anything. And keep your hands to fuckin’ self. If I feel one of them copping a feel, I’m out. And don’t think I’m not aware of those two little ones you keep hidden away. I mean it. I think this’ll help but this ain’t about sex or fuckin’ or some shit, okay?” Hu.sk said gruffly.

An.gel’s eyes got wide. He honestly didn’t even know how to respond to that. He spread his hands away from his torso and nodded in compliance.

“Got it. No hlmk!-no funny business. Hlmp!” The last hiccup came out in a squeak that An.gel tried to hide the embarrassment of.

“Okay. And if you tell anybody about this…” Hu.sk warned. His eyes intensified in such a way that the power Alastor had helped him retain was more than visible.

“I-hngk!-I promise! Jeez!” An.gel exclaimed, eyes wide.

Hu.sk’s facial features calmed down. He folded his wings tighter onto his back, feeling the feather’s lay against his shoulders softly. He, very delicately, lay atop An.gel until he was right over him, face hovering over his. Giving a glance to the pink eyes he closed his own and softly put his head right below An.gel’s on the soft chest.

“This is HNK!-uh kinda weird…” An.gel admitted.

Hu.sk growled a little, which An.gel could feel through his body, but it stopped, and he could feel Hu.sk’s body go a little heavier.

“I know,” Hu.sk muttered, “just gimme a second.”

“You know h-hmpk!-how much I charge f—for a second for this much hmlpk!-much closeness?” An.gel snapped. He felt Hu.sk’s body tense again and saw his eyes crack open in annoyance. “Sorry, force of h-HMPLK!-ugh, habit!”

Hu.sk felt An.gel’s body jerk into his with each hiccup. He could feel his chest jump and the thump in his stomach. Not wonder he’d been in pain. These things were violent, moreso than An.gel had let on.

When he’d asked An.gel how long he’d had them An.gel had said he’d had them on and off all day. This case had lasted an hour before he came to the bar. Val had actually made him go back to the hotel because of them. Apparently, Val hated hiccups. It annoyed the moth demon to the point of anger. Though Hu.sk hadn’t asked, he wondered if Val had gotten violent at An.gel for having them. He’d seen no mars or black eyes on him, but he’d watched him more carefully after Val’s hatred for something as innocuous and uncontrollable as hiccups was revealed.

“Um...mmpk!” An.gel uttered jerking again as he hiccuped with a grunt. He wasn’t sure what was supposed to be happening or if he was supposed to be doing anything.

“Lemme focus, okay?” Hu.sk said. He knew An.gel was getting impatient. But he couldn’t just turn it on.

“Can I-hmpk!-lay my hands on you? In a-hnk!-a totally hnk!-totally non-sex-hlmp!-sexual way!” An.gel said, the last bit said quickly. His hiccups sped up in kind.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Hu.sk decided.

Hu.sk felt the weight of all four of An.gel’s hands, then. Three settled on his wings. One found its way on his head.

“This ok-hmk’l!-okay?” An.gel asked.

“Yeah. Fine.”

Hu.sk’s dry retort covered up the genuine niceness it felt to be touched in such a delicate way. It was a way he hadn’t expected An.gel to be. He felt soft caresses to his wings and fingers rubbing his head. It wasn’t intrusive. It was...nice. Really fucking nice.

An.gel was smiling down at the bartender as he relaxed more onto his body. It was awkward being so physically close to someone without expectation. An.gel never really considered himself into cuddling but having Hu.sk consenting to lay on him platonically was starting to convert him.

He usually felt too overwhelmed with what someone wanted him to do or be with physical closeness and no actual fucking. In addition to feeling oddly calm with Hu.sk’s closeness, the boy was soft all over. His feathers, his fur, for all of Hu.sk’s sharp personality edges his body was incredibly comfortable. Was it An.gel’s fault that petting him was too tempting to pass up? If Hu.sk wanted, he would stop, but Hu.sk certainly seemed like he was okay with the situation.

If not for the damn hiccups that spiked pain every time they happened, An.gel would be completely content. But then he started to feel vibrations, not the sexy toy-related kind, either. These were vibrations deep within Hu.sk’s body. And, in a second, An.gel understood what Hu.sk’s intention had been. He was purring on purpose. He was purring for An.gel. And boy did that unlock feelings in the porn star he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to fully acknowledge.

“HNGNK!” An.gel emitted with another painful jerk. He squeezed his eyes tight and tried to focus on the vibrations and the sound of Hu.sk’s purrs. It was one of the hardest hiccups yet.

“Fuck, man. Just let them out, An.gel,” Hu.sk said, his voice’s timbre joining with the deep purring he focused on the demon below him. “It’s just you and me, here. I can feel how much they’re jerkin’ you. I ain’t gonna judge.”

An.gel looked down to Hu.sk’s eyes glinting up at him. He could see Hu.sk’s fur vibrating lightly on his throat as he purred.

“Ugh! Fine! ...HU’ILK!” The hiccup shrieked out of him, and he could feel Hu.sk flinch and saw his ears flatten briefly.

“Holy shit!” Hu.sk exclaimed.

“Sorry! HI’ILP! I tried to w-HU’ILP!-warn ya!” An.gel apologized. “It does HU’ILK!-does feel better when I let them out though. HI’EEK!”

“It’s okay. Just gotta...acclimate. Damn, kid. You did say you had powerful lungs, huh?” Hu.sk said, still purring despite the shock.

“Aw you re-HEE’EEP!-remembered! Yeah, great for a-HILK’M!-a lot of things. Hiccups ain’t one of them,” An.gel said with a chuckle that ended in another loud and powerful hiccup. “I can go back to HEELP’M!-to keeping them in if you want?”

“Naw. You keep doing what makes you feel better. I’ll deal. Is it-uh-helping? At all?” Hu.sk asked.

An.gel nodded.

“Yeah. It HU’ILP!-uh, it feels nice, actually. HU’ULP!” An.gel sighed at the deeper hiccup before continuing a little breathlessly, “thanks for doin’ this, Hu.sk.”

“Yeah, sure,” Hu.sk muttered. “Like I said, just don’t tell anyone, k? I can let my reputation gettin’ fucked up cause you blabbed that I purred on you.”

“I pro-HERP!-mise!” An.gel said.

“You what?” Hu.sk said, chuckling.

“Fuck you,” An.gel said, with a good-natured laugh.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Mmm hu’ERK!-one day,” An.gel said, giving Hu.sk’s head another massage as his purrs intensified sending deep and comforting vibrations through his torso and chest in a way that felt way more intimate than anything else he’d ever done with another person.

It should have scared him to feel such intimacy, he should feel the need to run away. But instead An.gel stayed, feeling the healing purrs that covered him and the soft warm weight that blanketed him. He felt...safe? Yes. What a foreign concept. What a scary thing to feel. It felt so delicate and uncertain to feel safe. It felt so temporary. But he allowed himself to feel it for the moment and reminded himself it wasn’t forever and that made him feel less antsy about accepting it.

“Maybe…” Hu.sk finally muttered.

An.gel didn’t dare to respond to that. He just stroked Hu.sk’s head again and gripped his wings a little tighter with his bottom pair of arms. The porn star honestly couldn’t care less about ever having sex with Hu.sk; if he could have him like this whenever he wanted, it would be more than enough.

He was so in his own thoughts that it took a few minutes to realize that his hiccups had finally stopped. Hu.sk hadn’t moved. Purrs still rolled louder and softer with his breaths. His hand lightly touched An.gel’s shoulder. His other sidled along An.gel’s lower shoulder on the opposite side. His legs intertwined with An.gel’s in the most innocent of ways. His wings had loosened from their hold against his back, and one had started to flop over the sofa’s front and down to the floor, too heavy for An.gel’s grip to hold them together.

An.gel took a deep, cleansing breath that was finally uninterrupted by spasms of his diaphragm and watched Hu.sk’s head rise and fall on his chest. The owl cat demon’s purrs grew louder for a moment and then settled into their regular pattern. An.gel smiled softly at him as his eyes gave a slow blink at the bartender’s doze.

Several minutes later An.gel himself dozed off. And when Cha.rlie ambled down in the middle of the night to see about a glass of water she was barely able to contain a squeal as she spotted the two in such a truly adorable position. They were both so uncharacteristically relaxed and so cuuuute omg!

But for all of Cha.rlie’s joy and excitement she never did reveal her findings to anyone in the hotel, even Va.ggie. Somehow, she thought that neither one of her friends would appreciate anyone else knowing of their precious cuddle puddle nap she’d walked in on. But the next day every time she saw them, she let out a small squeak and grinned like a loon.

[not-a-big-slay]

The Crows as Brooklyn Nine Nine quotes

part 1

‎

‎

Inej: What kind of woman doesnt owe an axe

..

matthias: okay. everyone, i have good news and a bad news

jesper:my nana always said the bad news first because the good news are probably a lie

jesper:fun fact-she made me cry a lot

..

wylan: ...and worst of all, i had nina greet him

kaz: what did you have her do

wylan: be herself

kaz: poor son of a bitch

..

nina: retire? jesper, we're supposed to die on a job together

nina: me in a big explosion and you commiting suicide on my funeral out of respect

..

jesper: if you get killed, what happens to all your debts?

everyone:

jesper: aaaaa loopholeeee

..

nina: ok who are we killin. i wont do kids thats a rule, but that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick

..

inej: are you really playing a gay card right now?

wylan: yas queen

..

wylan: oh no, thats the look my mom gave me right before she told me my dad left-

wylan: oh god, did my dad leave my mom again?-

wylan: how do you know my mom and dad

..

kaz,crying: my son is a basic bitch

..

jesper: so let me get this straight, all that water park money i've been saving you wanna spend it on kids now?!

..

matthias: now i get why you reffer to this as a suicide squad, jesper, because i already wanna kill myself

..

inej: very nice man

kaz: yes he is

kaz: now lets figure out how to destroy him

..

jesper: i didnt wanna do this, but i do know one way we could get the money

wylan: you'd make a decent prostitute

jesper: i'd make an amazing prostitute, but thats not what i was thinking

..

kaz: Jesper, i want you to do nothing, just stand next to me and say 'yes, boss'

jesper: okay, boss

kaz: come on, man

..

kaz:look at this place- half eaten food, crumpled tissues, pictures of your families

matthias: what's wrong with pictures?

kaz: if you love someone, you will remember what they look like

..

nina: as god said when ones tried to sneak past the gates into heaven "it aint happenin honey"

..

kaz: well done people

kaz: that is if you were trying to dissapoint me

[bitchesgetriches]

Take care of your body

Why You Should Take a Break: The Importance of Rest and Relaxation

I Think I Need to Go the Emergency Room?

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money

Your Yearly Free Medical Care Checklist

Ask the Bitches: Ugh, How Do I Build the Habit of Taking Meds?

Blood Money: Menstrual Products for Surviving Your Period While Poor

On Pulling Weeds and Fighting Back: How (and Why) to Protect Abortion Rights

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Survive in an Apartment with No Heat?

Take care of your mind

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics

How Mental Health Affects Your Finances

Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”

Kurt Vonnegut’s Galapagos and Your Big Brain

Everything Is Stressful and I’m Dying: How to Survive a Panic Attack

Stop Recommending Therapy Like It’s a Magic Bean That’ll Grow Me a Beanstalk to Neurotypicaltown

Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake

Ask the Bitches: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Absolve Myself of Financial Guilt Over My Pricey PS4?

The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend

Update: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Take care of your time

Stop Measuring Your Time in Beyoncé Hours

Help! I’m Procrastinating and I Can’t Get Up!

You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

Actually, Fuck Big Goals

How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements

I’ve Succeeded at Every New Year’s Resolution I’ve Ever Made. Here’s How.

Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough

8 Free Time Management Systems To Try in the New Year

My 25 Secrets to Successfully Working from Home with ADHD

I Am So Over Productivity Porn

Take care of your career

High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway?

The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career

Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job

Are You Working on the Next Fyre Festival?: Identifying a Toxic Workplace

My Secret Weapon for Preparing for Awkward Boss Confrontations

Freelancer, Protect Thyself… With a Fair Contract

I Hate My Job and I Don’t Know How To Leave It: A Confession

A New Job, a New Day, a New Life, and I’m Feeling Good

Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”

Take care of your space

How to Successfully Work from Home Without Losing Your Goddamn Mind (Or Your Job)

Leaving Home before 18: A Practical Guide for Cast-Offs, Runaways, and Everybody in Between

Ask the Bitches: I Want to Move Out, but I Can’t Afford It. How Bad Would It Be to Take out Student Loans to Cover It?

How To Maintain Your Car When You’re Barely Driving It

Take care of your people

How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money?

Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”

How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?

Ask the Bitches: I Was Guilted Into Caring for a Sick, Abusive Parent. Now What?

Love in the Time of Coronavirus: How to Protect Your Community and Your Soul from COVID-19

Be Somebody’s Eliza with a Simple Yet Life-Changing Act of Kindness

Take care of your financial well-being

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Make Myself Financially Secure Before Age 30?

How to Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year

Ask the Bitches: Is It Too Late to Get My Financial Shit Together?

Slay Your Financial Vampires

Should Artists Ever Work for Free?

Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Financial Math

Share My Horror at the World’s Worst Debt Visualization

Stop Undervaluing Your Freelance Work, You Darling Fool

[ladysomething]

bad bitch charles x golden retriever max

first thing that came to mind was a mafia au lmao. where Charles is the mob boss (for once), and Max the normal civilian who steals Charles' heart. they bump into each other at maybe ... hm ... like a fair or something, and Max is there with his nephews. vibing a love at first sight situation, they spend the whole afternoon together, Charles buys Max and the kids everything they could possibly want.

Max would invite him back to his place, Charles would say no. They'd go their seperate ways, one beautiful shared afternoon their only memory together, but then eventually Charles wouldn't be able to resist and he'd find Max and they'd have sweet, dirty sex.

They'd get to know each other more, and Charles would realise that Max is this sweet, beautiful person with a sad past but a big heart, and eventually he'd want to create distance between the two of them because he wouldn't want to drag Max into his dark world.

but instead, it would end with Max convincing Charles to leave the mob and Charles would have to fight his way out John Wick style. he'd probably get injured really bad and Max would spend weeks with him in hospital. but Charles would be OUT, and they could be together.

it would also probably have a really angst sequel where Charles struggles to adjust to normal life haha.

alternative, if we wanted them to still be drivers ...

Max has retired after winning heaps of Championships and is taking a year break from any form of racing and learning how to just enjoy life and be happy. maybe he's on a whole eat, pray, love journey - eating for fun and putting on weight, not working out as much, actually seeing the places he travels to, and making real friends.

Charles, meanwhile, is taking no fucking prisoners on track. He and Lewis are bitter enemies at Ferrari, and have frequent squabbles on track, and any time the media asks about it all Charles says is, "I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to win Championships."

and he does win, and over winter break he and Max bump into each other and Max is GLOWING, he's the happiest he's ever been in his life, meanwhile Charles is completely miserable because he's alienated all his friends.

so Max would take him under his wing, and teach Charles everything he's learnt: to enjoy the cold of the sea when you first step in, to listen to the birds sing in the morning, the feel of the sun on your face and warmth in your chest when you sit outside.

slowly but surely Max would chip away at the icy exterior Charles has constructed in order to win, and he'd fall back in love with life - and also fall in love with Max.

it would feature the Italian countryside probably, a lot of ice cream eating, definitely a lot of Charles admiring Max's soft body, and it would have a beautiful scene where they make love for the first time under the moonlight.

[thescions]

you guys were lovely to ask all of us some wol questions so have a scions/mun question! : what are both of yours top three favorite scions? ✨

Aw, thank you so much for this!

For Grey ---

This is SUCH a difficult question. I'll attempt to keep my reasoning brief. In reality, I love all of the Scions for reasons that relate solely to them. How they function as a narrative vehicle, how they've been characterized by their VAs, etc. If I pinch myself enough, I would narrow my top three to Estinien, Minfilia, and Papalymo.

Estinien, because I relate to him so immensely, because his is a perspective I continue to explore in my own writing. I look at his experiences with Nidhogg as a mirror manifest of Complex PTSD, literally and expositionally. The insidious nature of having been trapped in an abusive relationship. Except, your abuser lives in your head as much your world and there is No. Escape.

How must it feel to have a being not unlike a god consistently pumping your heart with venom and vitriol, targeted or otherwise? How must it feel to know that you, likely alone amidst even the others of your role, may have a meaningful impact on the influence driving a centuries long war? The weight of it. The responsibility, self-imposed and otherwise.

As the player progresses through the game, we are deadened to the enormity of having fought hyper-terrestrial beings, just as the characters would be. The other Scions may also share in our experiences, but it is only Estinien who knows what it is to have power to genuinely match ours. At least, for a while. Even Minfilia and Krile only borrow a finite glimpse of the like.

With that said, my affection for Minfilia knows no bounds. Not only do I resonate with her as someone raised femme who also enjoys the feminine on a deeper level than aesthetic, I also deeply vibe with the proposed mentality of someone who would sacrifice their all for the greater good, whether you have faces to assign to it or not.

She may not be lobbing axes at folks with us -- but perhaps that is for the best. Because the moment she has the power to fight, she fights to the point of near annihilation, using every ounce of that strength to achieve her desired outcome. Her restraint to hold out, to do as much as she possibly, possibly could, and then some...

I too, and many of you, I am sure, have burned that proverbial candle. Or perhaps I am dramatic. ;)

As for Papalymo: oh, I just love a nerdy older man who is exasperated by his promising, younger colleagues, of whom he will tend to fullness. Are any of our followers big Buffy fans?

As for Lanna --

Tough, tough question! But I am choosing Tataru, Thancred, and Ryne. (The twins are on the same level as Ryne -- but I couldn't pick one over the other!) My reasoning for all three comes down to growth.

From Tataru the secretary, to Tataru the boss bitch entrepreneur, who even for a time tried to learn how to fight to help protect us! Tataru represents the home of the Scions. Her "welcome home" at the end of EW and anytime she starts crying out of worry for us makes me sob. She isn't a warrior but she is so strong. She took over Minfilia's role of being the Scions' core emotional support while also evolving past that to really become a vibrant individual.

For Thancred --I'll admit, a lot of my reason for him being one of my favorites is because of the headcanons and development Grey and I've put together for him. But those are all based off of his canon interactions and, again, the story he goes through throughout the series. The man is clearly so godsdamned depressed, and (if the story would let him) we can see so much potential conflict with him letting that get the better of him. And of course, allllll the development for him throughout Shadowbringers with Minfilia and Ryne. He has healed so much. I'm a little confused as to where his story/development goes now in DT -- I feel like it is done, and he should be allowed to go retire happily with Ryne on the First. But if there's more for him to do, I'm happy to see it! As long as he's not just the 'flirty naked guy' again. Then I'd be disappointed.

Ryne is such an amazing character because we really only knew her for one expansion. She didn't have the same amount of time to develop as say, either of the twins, and yet immediately her story, her conflict with her self-esteem and sense of identity captured my heart. Her history was like Puella Magi Madoka Magica in Final Fantasy for me, so that totally hit all my vibes. But more than anything, she remains generally innocent even throughout the Eden raids. Innocent and kind, but not weak. And that is so rare to find these days. Ryne is a treasure -- a blessing ufufufu -- and I can't wait for her to rejoin the MSQ. WITH. GAIA. MAKE EDEN RAIDS REQUIRED, YOSHI-P!

[bigbarabelly]

I love the 2 oc poly couples you have! can you describe or say anything related to one or both of them?

WAAAA ty anon

Regis, Leo, Ace and Adam are a super hero group with my buddy Writes.

Ace is the son of hades and Lucifer. JFKDLSA no interest in being heir and theyre not retiring anytime soon as immortals. Went top side and fell in love with a Demi god of war and fertility Leo, and a poster boy Superman mess of a government experiment Regis. Ace has like demon hubs up top in forms of brothels and casinos etc. he frequents one sex club since it’s his whole thing as a sort of incubus god. Leo and Regis battle it out over Ace for awhile before figuring out oh shit they like that fight in each other too and the three get together. Adam is another government military superhero experiment baby meant to be a backup if Regis ever went rogue. Regis and him hate flirt until Adam snaps cause hes jealous of how happy the three are. Ace being the love god fjdksla eventually wins Adam over first while Leo teases Regis for trying sooooo hard but still being last to kiss him. Ace is stoic, Leo chill, Regis mr >:3 and Adam the wibbler

Leos basically always pregnant. Bit Loki like in it could be anything and everything. Has a battle Pegasus that was his first “child” in his ascension to godhood. Gave birth under a sacred tree of his village that was felled and transformed into a battle axe for him. Got his revenge on the invaders and sort of world traveled until meeting the boys and settling down.

Regis is/was trans. Aces whole thing is like self love? Can rearrange parts and feeds off sexual energy. Didn’t really have any of his own until hitting puberty and decided he liked being cis. Gave Regis that d he always wanted LMAO. Leos trans, happy with his setup. Adam was a ticking time bomb of a cis guy. Finding out what ace did for Regis sort of broke him and he went to one of the demon clubs to figure his shit out after hearing about the underground shit they do for powered people indulging in their fantasies. He’s a dude but always wanted to carry his own kids. Ace got called by his “employees” since he’s the bosses son lmao to come deal with Regis’s rival. They talk, ace gives him the womb he always wanted and brings another stray dog home to his pack JFKDLSA.

Big mix of ace/regis more or less knocking each other up. Everyone’s happy with their parts but sometimes ace’s powers manifest outside of his control and theyll all wake up with things swapped around, indicating the fates deem someone specific is to carry. A lot of Leo and aces kids end up being demons and beast ish sent off to the ether of their destinies. Eden is ace an Adam carried him. Aiden is Regis and Leo carried him. Ace carried moros. Chimera of him Regis and Leo before they met Adam. Moros spends most of his time in hell with grandpas and Eden and Aiden are doing superhero stuff up top. Everyone is vaguely immortal so timelines and aging are all over the place

BREATHES anyway 2nd poly group fdjlsak

Mason, Archie, Heath and Dandy are a group of werewolves living in rural Texas/vague USA south. Masons the oldest. The local mechanic. He’s pack leader, alpha omega mix and constantly Tired dealing with it LOL. In general he’s quiet and more an observer but very protective of his family, letting Dandy run a tight ship as second in command. Dandy is a beta and masons closest partner. Runs the local bar and cuts hair on the side. Dandy is bubbly and witty. Bit picky and whiny about getting dirty or scuffed up, but doesnt hesitate to mom friend everyone and get shit done. Heaths an omega Mason accidentally turned during a moon and he more or less does odd jobs and just assists Dandy and him since he’s the youngest and most unstable with his wolf status still. He’s loud mouthed and naive. Constantly getting his ass kicked in bar fights but eager to please under his bitching. Archie is a wanderer. Bar hopped and hustled pool across the states to hide his status as another omega wolf. Heaths dumbass knocks him up in crossing during a moon and Archie stays to figure out what to do with their pup Bill. Works out though and the pack grows. Ends up working with Dandy at the bar.

I’ll give Bill siblings at some point but it’s also just really funny he has 4 dads and is an only child LMAO. He’s very spoiled and loved though. Ain’t much money to go around but his dads work their ass off to get him an education and make sure he’ll be comfortable no matter what happens to them. Bill has Archie’s keep it cool droopy eyed default vibe and heaths hyperactive adhd. They might not be his bio dads but he gets masons work drive and dandy’s bright attitude

[daekie]

i reblogged an oc ask meme from u and its only courteous to send questions! so here u go despite the fact we've never talked lol: ghost and betrayal for an oc of ur choice!

FAIR ENOUGH. FAIR ENOUGH. unfortunately ashton carver the vampire is taking up a lot of brain real estate and not even paying fucking rent (asshole. i’m getting art of him and maybe i’ll be able to think about other OCs after that) so ASHTON TIME

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts? Ashton has tried to make himself into a thing that isn’t bogged down by his ghosts and he’s kind of succeeded. Not really. Mostly she uses it as fuel, because -- You ever find out that you’re infected by the malevolent cells of your vampiric bloodline’s progenitor, that you pass those cells onto anyone you use your powers on, and that those cells are completely capable of transforming their host into an avatar of said progenitor? And that you might’ve been meant to be an avatar, but you’re more stubborn than god, so it didn’t work? And you used your powers on your ex, who’s now in a position of immense political and social weight? And you used your powers on your other party members? And your boss? And your friends? Because your powers were useful, and nobody else had them, and -- Sometimes they just kind of sit and think about it. About how on some level, that’s still part of why he’s doing this: it’s not just to have total control and agency over his own self. It’s because if she wants the people she cared about to be safe - from her, and from everything her bloodline entails -- she had to leave. They had to leave. And maybe if he gets strong enough, maybe if he burns his progenitor’s fucking blight from this world and from his blood, then maybe -- but monsters like him don’t retire. There isn’t an after. If she’s lucky she’ll go out in a blaze of glory and take that thing with her. But that underlying knowledge of what could happen always haunts her, right alongside the ghost of the person she used to be, back when she actually did care about them; back when she was human enough to care about one person like that. And then he goes off and summons a bunch of demons because that’s how we cope these days. There’s no therapy when you’re an internationally wanted vampiric criminal!! There’s just looking at yourself in the mirror and going YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT and then wearing your ex’s face next time you take public transport because you’re being so so so normal about those feelings you are pretending you do not have and can no longer understand.

betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them? Hahaha. Haha. Ha. Betrayer, liar, murderer, devil-worshipper, soul-devourer, you gotta give her whole secondary subtitle all at once or you’re not being accurate, come on now.  All jokes aside, Ashton’s reputation for backstabbing and betrayal is mostly exaggerated, but you nonconsensually turn a man into the hulk to fight a demon and then immediately leave the city without saying goodbye + devour the soul of an ancient vampire for power + go on a mad quest for power involving mass murder + start worshipping demons once and he takes it so personally. The relationship is, uh, strained, but that’s kind of what tends to happen when you infect a guy with sentient vampire flesh cancer and then ghost him. They’re not friends anymore. Betrayal of Ashton herself, though... becoming a vampire was the big one. He really was in love, and he really did think the guy cared about him, and he really did trust the guy. Three months locked in a closet earning the privilege to have fingers or a mouth did pretty safely debunk the notion.

[adultswim2021]

Metalocalypse #31: “Dethrace” | June 16, 2008 - 12:00AM | S02E11

NOTE: I wrote this last night, but accidentally saved it as a draft instead of scheduling it to post. Sorry, bros.

Hey, I’m going easy on myself tonight. I deserve it after that last gigantic post. The Venture Bros. can take a lot out of me. Gosh, it’s a lot!

This one is a bit slight, and hardly excellent, but it's a nice hang with my personal close friends, the men from Metalocalypse Rock Band. In this one, Murderface is miffed that Toki and Skwisgaar have undermined his command performance of the Star Spangled Banner using nothing more than his dick and a bass guitar. They undermined Murderface by being in a high speed police chase, which interrupts the broadcast of Murderface rockin with his brain out. 

Speaking of brain out, the best scene in this episode are Toki and Skwisgaar at traffic school, watching an ultra violent educational video about how being irresponsible with your car can get your body all wet and in pieces. It is wet from your blood getting escaped from your body. Good lines, gruesome drawings, it’s the good shit of the episode. 

Murderface wants to do a convoluted event that’s a race and also a concert. Toki and Skwisgaar get involved by way of their community service. And Nathan Explosion and Pickles not only have nothing to do with the plot, but they make a point to just always be reading the paper whenever they are referred to. This is a funny meta-joke about how frustrating it must be to have a show like this and constantly have to come up with individual plots for each character. At least, I assume that’s what this is.

MAIL BAG

Hi this is Gabe Teplen the original voice of Moltar. I just want to say you are doing a great job and maybe give the original Space Ghost a spin sometimes. My granddaughters say it's just as funny as Coast to Coast.

Hi, my name is Mayor Giuliani, and I'm gay

I have a blog where I cover Adult Swim's original comedy shows in chronological order from the first stealth pilot premieres onward. every episode of every adult swim original program reviewed by a middle-aged dipshit. go here if you wanna start at the start

Hey, fuck you man, don't copy and paste stuff I say on other websites and then combine it with stuff I say on this website and send it to me anonymously. That is really fucking rude and it pisses me off. I'm actually pissed off about this. EAT SHIT MOTHER FUCKER

Should I go see Barbie or Oppenheimer? Let's date these blog posts. Which one are you more willing to see? Provided you get a big hamburger and fries with your movie either way.

You should watch any other movie. But if I had to pick between those two I'd watch Barbie. Oppenheimer just seems too boring, sorry. How big is the hamburger

Lesbian porno was like really good in the 80s but as time went on it just became so bad. Sure there are still hot women fucking but there is no sensuality. You can tell they are doing it contractually and have no love in licking pussy, ect. What do you think?

I don't like discussing sexual stuff because it's alienating, but I disagree. We are living in a golden age of sapphic erotica, and you need look no further than two girls I call Angela & Strawberry. Look them up. They lick, they suck, they finger, and they ... FUCK?????

You're supreme hatred of pitbulls is so funny. My aunt had a pitbull. She died.

I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt that got eatten by her own pitbull :(

I would prefer if you just said nothing than do the AI bit. I have to deal with my favorite fast food reviewer outsourcing his titles/descriptions to ChatGPT and it's quite frankly distasteful. The shit doesn't know anything about anything.

FUCK YOU! FREEDOM OF GENERATED SPEECH BITCH!! But by coincidence I've decided to retire the bit, but not because of you. It's my choice and I'm the boss and I'm the one that says how the rules goes.

[faroresson]

Thinkin about how a big thing in Metal Gear is that even though it always seems like there was one moment, one decision, one person who started the domino effect that left a huge mess across the series, it just.... Isn't true. And like, thats the point!!

You can't blame the Boss for her ambiguous wording in her last request for ruining everything because, while it certainly didn't help per se, it was John and Zero who took it in two wholly seperate wildly incorrect ways.

You can't blame John for the entirety of the conflict in the series because a lot of it came from outside, that drunk guy whose name I forget who designed the first metal gear in Snake Eater, his capture and Gene's plan from Portable Ops introducing the nation of soldiers idea... Hell even with MSF, it never would have gotten very far without Kaz being at the helm organizing a base of operations and international deployment and imports!

There's of course the jokey joke that Ocelot causes all the problems but he was a much a pawn of the Patriots as anyone else for a lot of it, did he cause a lot of very specific personal issues? Yes, but like he didnt cause the US/RUS tension or the fall of the USSR or anything

Even Huey! If he had never built ZEKE or the... Dinosaur named one, maybe metal gears would never have hit public eye! Also, his murder of Strangelove and horrible parenting skills led to Otacon having a horrible civillian life

which brings me to my next point, because of how intertwined all the events, good and bad, across the series are in such a way... theres a lot of decisions that seemed bad or at least unideal that actually were beneficial in the long run narratively speaking. Like for example, with Huey:

Him killing Strangelove, and generally being an awful whiney bitch got him kicked off of Mother Base in 1984. V deciding to not kill him to both satisfy Diamond Dog's need for some form of punishment without fully being Judge Jury and Executioner, while frustrating in hindsight but great for characterizing big boss' strategic mindset, actually allowed Otacon to have a reason to both go into mechanics (use his skills hoping to make his dad proud) but also a reason to help make the world a better place (work to remove the influence of Emmerichs and their war machines by forming Philanthropy)

Ocelot himself, tennis balling between pawn of the patriots and the spanner in the works, him choosing John and by extension Eli in the OcelHira Divorce Tapes etc etc, sure it led to Kaz dying in retirement the entirety of mgs 1, 2 and 4 because he was at the head of all that, but it all became the method and reason for David to continue the good fight and dismantle the Patriots permanently to slow the war industrial complex machine.

And this is of course not even getting into how much of the metal gear series happens even In Universe just as a result of US imperialism sentiment but i don't feel particularly qualified to speak on that

[ask-the-squidbeak-splatoon]

Please tell me more about Spy I adore rival octolings

4️⃣.5️⃣: … Well, we already talked about how she became part of the Squidbeak Splatoon before. And it was because of a bet I made with my sister. But…

🔱: … I don’t think we mentioned that we don’t send her on missions like the rest of us have to go through. She serves more as a… well, “spy”, as the name suggests. Or an undercover agent… Uh…

3️⃣: … Aren’t those the same thing, though?

🔱: Look, she just serves as a spy for us. She doesn’t really take any dangerous missions where fighting is involved every second, just someone that can easily get info from the enemy base without getting caught even if she tried.

3️⃣.5️⃣: I bet you don’t let her fight because she’s too weak to even try.

🔱: … Well, in her past records, it shows that she was clearly not the strongest tool. Just kind of a last attempt at a standby that’s there just in case something happened. But I know you’re not any better because all you do is get pissed off over everything, especially to this day. And your track record shows that you mansplain manipulate manwhore manslaughter your way out of things to a point you attempted to make your own team of Octarians without the permission of anyone as if you were going rogue. I know this from my experience with you when I was still an agent. I faced you and your goons off like it was nothing, and you got pissy at me for it. And look at where you are now. You lost everything, and you’re stuck here in the middle of Alterna, with your number one enemy as your boss.

3️⃣.5️⃣: M-MANWHORE???

4️⃣.5️⃣: Well, she’s not wrong. You’re kind of rude in general. The only one that can somehow tolerate you is your friend, Agent 3-

3️⃣.5️⃣: I WILL F-

🔱: Anyway, what else is there to say about Spy?

4️⃣.5️⃣: Oh! Well… we did live together for a while and still do. And we also are a part of a team I made along with my sister and… the agent that claims to be retired, but is still here.

3️⃣: What’s the deal with that? Why is he still here if he hates staying in the Squidbeak Splatoon?

4️⃣.5️⃣: Well, he’s still our friend. The Captain and I knew him for a long while. I would say when we were kids. And we still genuinely care about him, even if he isn’t that social.

4️⃣.5️⃣: But that’s not the point here. Uh… I know that Spy isn’t one for competitive stuff, neither as playing against other players in Turf War or Rank. She’s also not a big fan of hurting salmonids, she just prefers to stay at home or be with her closest friends. But… sometimes she just pushes those matters just to hang out with us.

🔱: Alright, is there… anything else we can say about her?

4️⃣.5️⃣: Uh… Well… she’s pretty shy and nice…

3️⃣: … That’s kind of a given fact…

4️⃣.5️⃣: I know, I know, it’s just, I have so much to say about her, but I have so little to show here. 

3️⃣: … Is it because of the rule that we can’t really reveal personal information about being an agent outside of work?

4️⃣.5️⃣: … Kinda yeah. But look… she’s just an amazing person. If I had to get to the point of it.

3️⃣.5️⃣: Woah, hold on a second.

3️⃣.5️⃣: Salmon woman just said we aren’t allowed to tell personal information. But the Captain went out of her way to single me out for my past actions and that moron talked about… Spy’s life outside of work. How is that fair???

🔱: I think Agent 3 kinda meant more like, if we were to reveal our real name or where we live to outsiders who are aware that we’re part of the Squidbeak Splatoon. Like the people who are reading this are probably aware we’re agents, just a hush feeling. And… Agent 4.5 talking a bit about Spy didn’t really break the rule because I’m willing to bet that there’s plenty of people out there who are exactly like her. Plus, it’s her basic bitch personality and lifestyle. Whether it’s about the battle stuff or the personality. But for me exposing your track record? I mean, I get that’s kind of a dick move on my part. But still, anyone outside the Squidbeak Splatoon couldn’t have tracked you down that fast unless you go out of your way and brag about it outside of work. Which I doubt you would. Plus, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s other people like you out there that throw temper tantrums every two seconds, so…

3️⃣.5️⃣: …

🔱: … But we made a special rule when making this blog, which destroys the personal information being revealed rule.

3️⃣: And that is…?

4️⃣.5️⃣: OH! I REMEMBER IT-

🔱: Yeah. If someone in the ask box asks us anything specific, like asking for our real names, then we have to answer it truthfully. It might break the Squidbeak Splatoon rules… but I bet there’s other people out there with similar names to us… Of course there’s still a limit to what we can answer truthfully and our bragging rights outside of work, but if it’s harmless, then we can go for it.

3️⃣.5️⃣: That’s a shit rule. Who made it up?

4️⃣.5️⃣: We all made that rule up, and we all agreed upon it. Otherwise, this blog is going to be boring if we can’t reveal ANYTHING about ourselves. And I’m sure Callie and Marie would be fine with it as long as it doesn’t fire us in the butt later-

3️⃣.5️⃣: No, I’m sure Agent 1 would be fine with it, but Agent 2?

🔱: To be honest, I don’t think she gives a shit as long as it doesn’t affect us. She’s already busy with Deep Cut as it is. So I’m kinda the one being responsible for you people.

3️⃣.5️⃣: Well, you’re shit at it-

🔱: Thank you.

🔱: … By the way, you forgot to mention-

4️⃣.5️⃣: OMG I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT I'M DATING HER-

🔱: Yeah-