#big picture: i feel like tumblr is better now than it was 10 years ago

[flowersforvax]

yeah i don't think the migration will have much of an immediate impact

but i'm worried more if other celebs and advertisers start making accounts here

and tumblr changing the ui or something to monetize the platform....that's terrifying to me

And you know, that's fair, absolutely - I just don't care for the twitter user panic I've been seeing ("oh no! the annoying people are coming back!" Sir, this is the annoying people website)

You're right, i can definitely see more brands and celebrities coming here but I just. I guess i'm just holding onto the hope the last months of changes to tumblr gave me; call me naive but it really seems like this last takeover gave the tumblr staff the freedom to finally listen to the users - as far as they can do that while also keeping the lights on - so. Knock on wood they're gonna keep doing that with shoelaces and crabs

[oksullen]

I SAW U ON MY NOTIFS OMG ITS BEEN SO LONG HOW ARE YOU??

I don’t know why I just saw this omg!! I’ve been good :) I’ve been working a lot and busy with classes and just everything else life has to offer 😂

Willow is almost 2 years old now!! and she’s gotten so big and she’s been much more well behaved too!!

I’ve been on and off Tumblr and usually just go on to read some stuff on my favorite fandoms which surprisingly there isn’t a lot of the things im looking for!! I’ve really taking a liking to My Hero Academia but specifically 3 characters- Best Jeanist, Edgeshot, and Stain which there is like NO new content on them!! I haven’t finished the anime yet since im more of a manga reader than an anime watcher 😔

but more on Best Jeanist- I have become addicted to his character 😭 I’ve rebranded some of my usernames to him and I have a collection of merchandise of him on my shelf!! It started as a joke but it’s not a joke anymore!! same with Stain and Edgeshot, but most of my money has gone to Best Jeanist. I’m so sad there’s not much content on him, I say I’ll just write my own but that isn’t true- LOL but that’s ok, I can just use my free time to think of silly little scenarios of him in my head!!

Here’s a picture of my current anime collection, it’s slightly outdated but you get the idea:

Not pictured is a couple One Piece things since I’ve really started to like One Piece again and a couple plushies including a plushie of Shinsuke Kita from Haikyuu because he will always be my favorite (and Tsukishima too!! remember when my user was kaleshima!!)

I’ve always been taking a liking to making an OC and just my oc overall!! She’s mainly a MHA oc with a freaky blood/guts/gore manipulation power (it’s kind dark but I think it’s cool) and omg she’s taken up so much of my time and brain space, I feel like I’ve done more in depth creation of her than of myself 😂 I’ve also been buying a lot of art commissions of her!! I’ll attach a few images below, but I like talking about her so much that if I end up coming back here I might do some writing for her since I’d love someone or some place to talk about her :) all credits to the locket artists, I don’t think any of them have Tumblr though-: (the first image is her with Best Jeanist and the last is her with Stain!!)

I also have gotten into JJK but im still new to it, only watching the first couple episodes and reading the leaks 😭 which is a GREAT way to start omg

Also, don’t you love it when old hyper fixations come back??!??! yeah, that’s me right now with Mortal Kombat!! I’ve been a fan for almost 10 years now and the new game is so good!! and the characters omg… they made them so good 😍 thankfully Tumblr has a lot on them!!

but other than some things coming and going there hasn’t been a lot of new stuff in my life but compared to last year my mood and health has been so much better which is a win in my eyes, plus im starting to like a new guy which is good because I got my heart absolutely shattered little over a year ago and I swear I thought I was never going to recover, but recovery is possible and I give myself a lot of credit for the things I’ve done despite life seemingly staying the same.

I hope to move out of my parents house soon and continue my education further and my social life and all that but ik that won’t happen until a few years which seems like forever but seeing how 2023 has gone by so fast, I have a feeling it’s going to come quicker than it seems

I always say I want to come back to writing on this app and honestly I am in need of a new hobby because yeah listening to music is great but it doesn’t get you far!! which by the way, also a hyper fixation, bands and music and all that- I am really big into Nirvana right now and plan on dressing up as the lead singer Kurt Cobain for Halloween- which is funny I am dressing up because for the first time I have no plans for Halloween!! I’ll probably just bake some goodies and watch scary movies. How is Halloween celebrated where you are, if at all? American culture is so funny- and it’s funny because America doesn’t have much culture, it’s just one big melting pot which makes it unique

Speaking of music, my favorite artists are probably Nirvana (which is a band) and so is Radiohead, Weezer, The Smiths, Ghost, and Korn (which are rock/metal bands, I really recommend them if you’re into that!!) but I also really like Melanie Martinez, Lana Del Rey, Mitski, Alex G, and a couple other solo artists (fun fact, I went to many concerts over the summer including Melanie and Weezer- they were so good!!) what kind of music do you listen to? any you recommend?!

Half way typing this too, I thought of the idea of coming back to Tumblr to write not just drabbles on my current hyper fixations but maybe some life advice and psychology stuff, I have a way with words and advice and all that even though I am considered “to young to know all this” but I see it as both good and bad having an old soul at a young age- and not to say I am a little child either, but I haven’t even been on this earth for 20 years yet, soon enough though

That all being said, I feel like a huge chapter of my life is coming to a wrap up soon and I am excited to start the new one!! I’ve been on this app forever even though I technically shouldn’t have had Tumblr as a pre-teen but hey, we all start somewhere!!

How have you been? Anything new and exciting? Or maybe something you’ve learned? I’ve been trying to learn new hobbies and I’ve started to really dig into what I want to do as a career since I have to really decided soon (I am doing community college right now which is a free 2-3 year schooling opportunity to earn credits before you go off and study a minor or major- not sure if you have that where you live and if you do it’s still probably different)

Anyways I want to study business and business management since I have taken a liking to running/leading an organization/group and coming up with marketing ideas for various groups I spend my time in- including theatre!! I have a local theatre group I work in backstage and I am the stage manager this year which is great since I want to going into management

It’s “late” where I am- actually it’s just 9:30 but I go to bed early especially when I have things to do the next day 😔 I’ll probably just use the excuse I am tired to run to Starbucks and spend my money like I always do. I really have become addicted to Starbucks and it’s only going to worsen as “Capitalism Christmas” comes next

Holidays are so silly to me too, I don’t really enjoy them because they’ve always seemed to cheesy and not like they “advertise” but I hope to make the best of it this year, even if it just ends up being me working that day and then coming home to my dog. What Holidays do you enjoy? Any certain traditions or events you’re looking forward to?

I’ve written down most of my thoughts and this has been the most I’ve written in ages!! Maybe I should answer more asks from now on to get myself into the writing kick!! 😂

I hope you’ve been well and I hope we can talk more soon!! I totally just remembered we have each other on discord too!! I changed my user to @bestkaleist (Best Jeanist reference) so if you’re confused as to who that is, it’s me!!

wishing you all the well!! 🥬

[darylspissslit]

Sorry I'm gonna be sad for a minute because Tumblr is my only safe place to talk about it because no one actually knows me in real life on here.

So I should be over this but I'm not. It's may seem small and petty to you but it wasn't to me. I'm pretty sure this time of year will affect me every year.

When I was pregnant I had 4 people as my support system and that's fine y'know it could be worse and I could've had no one. But it was my bf and our moms, and my dad. So I could only talk to them about so much. I needed a friend while I was pregnant. I needed my best friend. But at the time my other friend was also pregnant and she was further along then me so we were there for her and my best friends family was there for her too. I was hoping when I found out I was pregnant she would be there for me too but they weren't. My best friend wasn't excited when she found out, her parents were happy though but her parents love me like their own child. Anyways after I told my best friend I was pregnant she wasn't hanging out with me as much. All of a sudden she was busy all the time or she was sleeping. Which I understood because she worked graveyard shifts and those tend to have you drained the next day. But it turns out she was hanging out with our other friend all the time and just wasn't inviting me. I planned and threw my friend her gender reveal but when I asked my best friend to plan my gender reveal she said sure and then never asked me when I was finding out so she could plan and didn't do any planning when I told her what day we were finding out. So a few months later I started planning our friends baby shower but I was further along in my pregnancy and I was stressed at the time so I asked my friend and her family to help plan it and they got pissy and stopped letting me in on the planning. After a few days I told her since she was doing our friends baby shower she didn't have to plan my gender reveal and her response was "thank god cause I really didn't want to" and then refused to understand why her response was shitty and how it hurt my feelings. Our friendship basically ended on our friends baby shower because I realized she went above and beyond for our friend but didn't wanna do the bare minimum for me. I had went the majority of my pregnancy being rejected by the people I was so close to. And to be friends with someone for 10 years and wanting them there more than anyone during such an important time just for them to basically shut you out hurt me more than anyone has. I've never had my heart broken by a boyfriend or something instead it got broke by my best friend. And when I confronted her on it she turned into a manipulative person and brought her family in on it and basically gaslighted me into thinking I did some wrong the entire time.

And the worst part is the friend that she did all of this for wasn't even a good person. She knew her for 3 years and the whole time that friend would talk shit about her and her family, manipulated them for attention constantly. She wasn't a good person especially not to my best friend.

I missed every "important" event of my pregnancy. No gender reveal, maternity photos (I have 2 dark polaroids of my baby bump and that's the only pictures I took the whole pregnancy), no baby shower. I didn't even get to have my baby how I wanted because complications brought him too early. My entire pregnancy was a shit show and I did it without any friends. And up until 3 months ago I still didn't have any friends after. Now I have 1 friend who was an old friend from highschool and now she's my best friend and has been a better friend in 3 months than my ex best friend was almost our entire 10 years. Anyways this time of year makes me big sad until Halloween and then I'm fine.

[chipper-asks]

Any tips on how to grow your own blog by chance?

Aah man I've written a response to this kind of question many times but I always delete it because I'm afraid of coming off as self centered or arrogant, but I definitely have some tips on what works and doesn't work (on tumblr.)

I will say that I never believed I would get to the "Big Fandom Artist" stage. I've seen people drop my name in conversations or descriptions and just assume other people know who I am and that's still incredibly wild to me. I never really pushed to get a big blog it really just happened.

But! I do have rules and personal guidelines that might help if you are thinking of actively building your blog!

1: Keep personal information and vent posts to a minimum

It should go without saying that its not a good thing for your personal information to be on the internet. Once its out there its near impossible to erase. This is for your own safety.

Vent posts give out more information than you might think, but also some people who are following you may be going through difficult times themselves. I go on the internet to get away from my stressors and problems and i've specifically catered my dashboard to reflect my desires. I have no doubt others are the same.

I've unfollowed mutuals because they vented too frequently. I enjoyed what they made! But it stressed me out to read their vent posts because I couldn't help. I realized it was taking a toll on my mental health and I made the tough decision to unfollow.

It is very tempting to vagueblog because its nice getting out all the angry feelings, but a blog with thousands of people following it is not the place to do it.

2: Shitpost vs Quality Foley

I could go into a massive essay on this alone (ive even written out an outline already) but i'll keep it as brief as I can.

Throughout my time on Tumblr I’ve seen a number of posts of artists complaining about the lack of notes on their serious work compared to the abundance of notes on their shitposts.

This is because Tumblr IS a place of shitposts. It's like squeezing a clown nose and expecting it not to honk.

However! It's more complicated than that and i've broken it up into four parts organized by importance.

A. Relevance/Meta: Is it something that people are already familiar with? Is it something that's currently going on?

People want to enjoy things they're already familiar with. For example, people getting into Hollow Knight are more likely to follow a blog that posts HK content regularly over a HK blog that posted a picture of Grimm once and then is full of original content. It's not that people don't like your original stuff, its just not what they're looking for.

If you like striking while the iron is hot, meta jokes are the way to go. Making references to games like Among Us during the height of its popularity for example would get you lots of notes.

B. Hilarity

Is it funny? Does it subvert expectations?

Shitposts will always be more popular than a well drawn post. People like to laugh and share things that laugh. A cool, well drawn post is more often than not met with a "hm, cool. scrolls down."

This is a polished comic I made 10 months ago. I'm very proud of it and i'm pleased with the amount of attention it got. It took me 2 days to finish.

This is a shitpost I made 3 years ago that I still haven't been able to top. It took me 30 minutes to make.

That's not to say a well drawn post can get popular! It's just that people enjoy a good laugh over something shiny. This is a factor of knowing your audience. Some things land better than others and you'll be better off if you just roll with what you get.

I will say tho I appreciate the people who reblog my oc posts 200x more than people who reblog my shitposts and fanart. Those are quality followers and you must cherish them.

C. Appeal

Is it cute? Is it fluffy? Is the design easy to understand? Does it make people emotional? Is it angsty? Is it relatable?

People like cute shit. People like things that make them hurt (albeit not too much). People like things that they can see themselves in.

D. Skill

There is some merit in being good at what you do. People do like funny things more than shiny things, but shiny things are cool too.

If you post things that are funny? You're normal horoscopes.

If you post things that are well drawn? (its really telling that I can't think of someone right off the top of my head)

If you post things that are funny AND well drawn? Well then you're iguanamouth

3: Know your boundaries.

There's a difference between being understanding/tagging things correctly and catering to people who want you to be someone else.

I know that many people get upset with others who gender the vessels in Hollow Knight. While it doesn't bother me, I can recognize the misgendering of vessels as a source of dysphoria and I tag accordingly.

If someone comes into my inbox and tells me to stop drawing a character because they're "problematic," I'm just going to block them and go about my day.

4: This is your blog, its your rules.

I'm apologetically myself on my blog. I post what I want and what inspires me. The reason why I have so many AUs is because its my blog and I like AUs. If a large portion of the fandom doesn't like my AUs, its their loss, I make great AUs.

In fact, its just a good mindset in general to have. If some people don't like what you make, its not your problem. It makes you happy and it makes hundreds of others happy then continue to do what you do. It's impossible to have a large following and not have someone who dislikes you purely out of spite.

Make stuff for yourself, not because you want numbers.

5: Don't feed the trolls.

If someone sends you hate, take a picture of it, share it with your friends, laugh, block the person, delete message, move on with your life.

It's really fun to feed the trolls, but feeding trolls attracts more trolls and soon its not fun anymore. Just laugh when you get your first anon hate, maybe frame it in your room, and don't even acknowledge them with a "fuck you."

6: Recognize your position.

This is more advice for when you do get a big blog. You get to a point when you realize you have a portion of your audience who value much more than a regular human being and are willing to take up arms for you.

Do. Not. Weaponize. Your audience.

It's incredibly shitty and can ruin peoples lives.

7: Post Frequency/Schedule

Now this is one I can't do. It's normal for me to become incredibly active for 2 weeks and then end up posting nothing for a month. I don't have the patience to build up a queue of new things.

However! If you have more discipline than me, posting daily or twice a week builds up anticipation for your next post. You're dependable and people have the chance to look forward to seeing something from you on their dash on Friday.

Thats all I can think of so far.

There's no TL;DR you'll miss my important advice within these tips.

[inadaydream99]

Hello! Can I request the boyz reaction to you set them as your lockscreen? Love you and your writings 💜

Hi, thank you for requesting! Sorry this has taken so long. I tried to write a mix of fluffy, slightly angsty and funny reactions so I really hope you enjoy them! 😁

Sangyeon

“What’s your passcode?” Sangyeon looks at you in intrigue, smirking when you realise that he’s holding your phone in his hand.

Now, you’re not too protective over your phone. But for some reason, the thought that Sangyeon wants to unlock it makes you nervous.

“It’s the day of our first date.” You respond timidly, swallowing the lump of nerves in your throat. You watch as he types in the code and flicks through your phone, a pleased smirk growing on his face after a few seconds.

“What’s this?” Sangyeon teasingly turns your phone screen towards you, displaying the background photo of him that you took while he was sleeping.

“I- I just thought you looked so handsome...” you trail off, fiddling with your fingers as you explain your choice of background.

“It’s funny cause I have you asleep as my background too.” Your head shoots up to meet your boyfriends cheeky expression, both of you bursting into laughter over how similar you really are.

Jacob

“Whatcha doing?” Jacob curiously asks, taking you a little by surprise as he leans over the back of the sofa. He’s seen you scrolling through your phone from the other room and decided that he wanted your attention.

“Oh, nothing.” You crane you neck round to get a better look at your boyfriend, sending him a warm smile.

What you realise a second too late, however, is that Jacob’s attention isn’t on you, but on your phone screen which you left unlocked.

You’ve never told him this, but you set your background to a picture of him. It’s one of your favourites, taken on your third date well over a year ago now. He’s sat on a park bench, looking at the scenery instead of the camera, a cheeky grin on his face. Everytime you look at the picture it brings back so many fond memories of when you first fell in love. That’s why you chose it as your background, so you could always remember that special date.

“You’re too cute.” Jacob goofily smiles down at you, pressing a kiss to your cheek when you shyly turn your head away. You can feel your cheeks warming as they flair a deep crimson, you heart beating just that little bit faster from his kiss.

Younghoon

“Now it’s perfect.” Younghoon assertively states, finally handing you back your phone.

A huge grin takes over your face when you lay eyes on your new background picture; one of you both smiling at each other, looking like two idiots in love.

Initially you’d had just a picture of Younghoon on his own as your background. It was a selfie that he had taken at a recent fan event and you thought he looked so sweet and handsome that you had saved it and made it your background screen.

When Younghoon saw your choice of background, however, he wasn’t satisfied. Although he loved that it was a picture of him, he wanted something more personal to take its place. A picture only you had.

“It really is.” You beam up at your boyfriend in responce, laughing heartily when he pulls you into a warm hug and squishes you against his chest a little too tightly.

Hyunjae

“It’s not cute, it’s embarrassing.” Hyunjae whines like a child.

Finding out that the background on your phone is an embarrassing picture of him made your boyfriend complain non stop in an attempt to get you to change it. But unluckily for Hyunjae you’re not budging in the slightest.

“Hyunjae who’s gonna even see it besides me?” You flatly state, unimpressed with his relentless pleaing.

“But what if one of your friends sees it while they are with you, or you lose your phone.” He persuades, though you only shake your head in responce, rolling your eyes playfully.

“You wanna know why that picture of you is my background?” Hyunjae nods, still pouting at you. “Because it’s real. It’s who you are, my dorky, loveable boyfriend.” You caress his cheek affectionately, watching as Hyunjae tries to hide the smile that grows on his face.

“Ok... I guess you can keep it then.” He dramatically sighs, pulling you into his embrace and hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

Juyeon

“That’s a little bit frightening.” Juyeon snickers as he looks over your shoulder while you are on your phone. You look up at him to see his amused smirk, letting out a laugh upon the realisation that he’s never seen your background before.

It’s an edited fan picture of him, from one the The Boyz memes that you found so funny you saved and made your background... just so you could look at it and laugh now and again.

“It is a little, but it’s funny.” You join in, watching as Juyeon simply shakes his head at you in return, a wide smile on his face.

“You have the strangest sense of humour, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.” He comments adoringly.

Kevin

“I like the one of us together better.” Kevin points to the picture of you smiling together on your camera roll.

You were deciding on what photo to make your new background and your nosey boyfriend was insistent on a particular photo of you both because he feels he’s not embarrassing or awkward in that one.

“But you’re always embarrassing and awkward.” You cheekily smirk, bursting into laughter when Kevin deadpans you.

“Come on, be serious.” He encourages, tapping on his choice of picture to enlarge it.

“But it’s what I love about you... we’re awkward together!” You plea up at Kevin, trying to get him to see the funny side at least. And it doesn’t take long before he cracks a smile, both of you laughing as you set your background picture to the one that captured you both off guard.

Chanhee

“Really, that’s your background?” Chanhee sasses, successfully gaining your attention. He’d been acting off with you all day and you’re not sure why. You know he’s stressed with work so you’ve been letting his rudeness slide, but now it’s starting to upset you. There’s only so long you can go before you bite back.

Your background just so happens to be a picture of you together from your recent holiday, back when you both were happy and relaxed and your boyfriend wasn’t constantly in a bad mood.

“I know right, instead of having a picture of my boyfriend I should change it to something that doesn’t upset me.” Chanhee stops in his tracks upon hearing your comment, spinning around on his feat to face you, letting out a huff.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” He interrogates, slowly taking a few steps towards you.

“What it means is that my loving boyfriend has been nothing but rude to me all day for no apparent reason.” You state, trying to keep a straight face. But that doesn’t stop Chanhee for seeing your eyes well up with tears, his hard expression instantly falling off his face and his defensive attitude fading.

“(Y/N) I’m sorry. I love that I’m your background, really.” Chanhee apologises with wide eyes, nodding his head eagerly to show you he truly means it. “I’ve just got so much going on at the moment, I’m exhausted.” He continues, leaning into you when you cuddle into his side.

“Good because I didn’t want to have to change it.” You chuckle, cuddling yourself tighter into his embrace.

Changmin

Changmin had the biggest grin on his face when you entered the room, your phone in his hand as he stared at the smiling photo of him as your background.

“I didn’t know I was your background.” You giggle at how happy your boyfriend is because of this.

“Of course you are.” You state like it’s no big deal, that it’s just a causual thing that most couples do.

“Well I love it.” Changmin wraps his arm around your shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. “But you know what I’d love even more...” he trails off, sending you a devilish grin as you turn to face him.

“What.” You cautiously question, not sure if you want to know the answer or not.

“If you’re background was that embarrassing picture of you when you were drunk.” He darkly chuckles. “We can bet on it, if you lose then you’ll change your background.” Changmin proposes.

“I’m willing to take that risk.” You agree, matching your boyfriends playfully challenging expression.

Haknyeon

“Too bad you’re not mine...” Haknyeon quickly comments before rushing away from you.

“Haknyeon!” You shout after him in warning, telling him to get back to you though your tone.

It all started when he snatched your phone out of your hands and stumbled upon your background picture of him. Now, Haknyeon is in a particularly playful mood today, so his child like tormenting was all in good nature, but also very annoying after a while.

You cross your arms as you sulk, refusing to get out of your comfy seat to chase after him. You don’t even acknowledge your boyfriend when he enters the room again and takes a seat beside you, holding his phone in front of you.

“What did you just do.” You finally turn to face him when you hear him giggle as he taps away on his phone.

“I just got a new background.” He smirks, turning the screen around to reveal a picture of you sulking away. “Now we’re even.” He cheekily comments, holding his phone out of reach when you make a lunge to try and grab it out of his hand.

Sunwoo & Eric (because Tumblr won’t let me put more than 10 gifs per post 😥)

Sunwoo

“What is that?” Sunwoo shyly smiles at you as he leans into your side to get a better look at your phone.

“It’s you silly.” You laugh, finding his reaction very amusing. He simply rolls his eyes in responce.

Sunwoo has just become aware of your background photo, a picture of him smiling cheesily. You just thought he looked so adorable, you couldn’t not put it as your background so you could look at it all day.

“Do you not like it?” You hold back your smirk, your gaze flicking up to meet Sunwoo’s.

“No! I mean... if you like it, then I like it too.” He nods, smiling brightly back at you.

You honestly don’t know how he manages to be so completely adorable, but it makes your heart skip a beat every time.

“I’m glad.” You coo, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Eric

“Because couples need to have matching backgrounds.” Eric states like it’s a well known fact, following you around relentlessly.

He’d been trying to get you to take some couple pictures with him, just so you could have the same background on your phone. But you are reluctant, already liking the picture you have of him.

“But I don’t want to change mine.” You roll your eyes feigning annoyance. “And besides, couple photos are forced and cringey.” You comment, knowing fully well it will set your boyfriend off on a rant.

“It’s not cringey it’s cute!” Eric complain, rushing to catch up to you as you walk away. “(Y/N)! Come back.” He calls out through a whine, chasing after you desperately while you are a giggling mess.

[underpaid-paragon]

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Tonight it’s Malkavian VV for the chat! True story: that was my all-time favorite clan for the longest time (now they’re tied with Nosferatu :D), even if in-game the female NPC gets the worst costumes...while the male NPC gets bizarre-o early 00s club kid gear? Game design kids, it’s....something.

Anyway, enjoy a very tired club kid VV!

Ventrue VV  Lasombra VV  Tzimiche VV  Gangrel VV  Nosferatu VV

23 notes • Posted 2021-03-08 05:15:22 GMT

#4

And now for your (respectful) viewing pleasure: BRUJAH VV

You can’t tell me that a VV of any clan wouldn’t absolutely have been hollering herself hoarse over the batshit useless legislation and continued demoralization of sex work; but since Brujah are “the philosophers, protestors, rabble rousers” of the World of Darkness, this is where I’ma show that off.

[Also support SWers; don’t be that asshole that revels in the content they produce while simultaneously talking shit?]

Tremere VV  Malkavian VV  Ventrue VV  Lasombra VV  Tzimische VV  Gangrel VV  Nosferatu VV

23 notes • Posted 2021-03-12 18:19:44 GMT

#3

So a couple of weeks ago (more or less, since time means nothing anymore), I finished an accidental drawing series featuring Velvet Velour! Part clan dress-up game, part ‘hm, what features do I personally as an artist need to nail to feel like I’m representing this character well’ challenge; after I finished them, I went back and did some color comps on a few of them because some had mojo, some didn’t, some were too alike and that bothered me...which is how we end up here and now!

The versions posted to tumblr are the fresh-from-Clip Studio versions if you want to see what palettes got swapped and what edits have been made. Now I have a question for y’all that are peeping this and like it: would you want VV clan dress-up merch? Like...a calendar, or something like that? More than a couple of folks have suggested that to me, but I’ve no idea if there’s any base for it, so...let me know!

Pre-Embrace VV  Classic VV  Maeghar VV   Salubri VV   Brujah VV  Tremere VV  Malkavian VV  Ventrue VV  Lasombra VV Tzimische VV  Gangrel VV  Nosferatu VV

24 notes • Posted 2021-03-31 03:08:10 GMT

#2

Please enjoy this Pride-themed doodle of everyone’s favorite ghoul-friend :D I know there’s the painful thong game model but I’d like to propose a counter-argument: comfy boxers (the tackier the better, especially when you’re a Malkavian PC)

(I love Heather to the point I almost always get her killed without mods, because she breaks my heart every time I try to send her away for her own dang safety)

(also shout-out to @narqwibqwib both for the excellent Pride illustrations they’ve done this year AND for inspiring the background, which (while simple) is a lil busier than I think I typically do?)

31 notes • Posted 2021-06-22 22:10:25 GMT

#1

Happy Trans Day of Visibility! Be safe, be happy, be well, and do your best with whatever you are, wherever you are!

Love, a big ol bi genderfluid friend <3

(Fun side note: I used the eyedropper tool on a picture of gemstones to decide the palette, because rocks are cool and so are trans folks)

39 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 03:14:57 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[alexis-medina]

Dissecting: Edens Zero Ch. 130-134

Kleene/Jinn

I was reading Ch. 83 and found this.

See, I don’t know if Mashima plans his story out or if he develops certain plots on the spot because everything is connecting. “Oh, I could use this later...” Brilliant. Amazing. For real though, I was like damn it’s the Mildian/Sun Jewel arc again (Xiaomei’s battles foreshadowing).

Shura vs Ziggy

It was interesting to read that Shura isn't the biological son of Nero. This leads me to think...what if Shura and Shiki are related? I mean they both have gravity ether and they both were taught by Ziggy. They both are also strong in their own right. We also have the theme from Fairy Tail of Good vs Evil (Zeref and Natsu) but in this instance it would be Shura and Shiki. We also don't know where they came from - their origins. Plus, Nero says that his power was incompatible with Shura but he was able to match with Ziggy's gravity powers.

Later, when the crew of Edens Zero find another relic (Robo Cola cap), they infer that Mother could be a place and a person. I was also thinking that because in FT: 100 years quest, Aldoron was a dragon god but his body was home to 5 cities.

So, if I'm right then, Shiki and Shura maybe are from a city on Mother...and maybe even Rebecca.

I'm noting that Shiki is younger than Shura. When Ziggy was training Shura, that was 15 years ago but, that's also the same time Ziggy found Shiki as a baby....unless Ziggy is lying and he has false memories. 👀👀👀 Is Ziggy truly good or bad? Does Shiki have additional powers like Rebecca?

What is the all-link system? Looks like Shura and Ziggy have the same idea. I think if Shura and Ziggy battle - Ziggy will win. What did you guys think?

Xenolith and the Crew of Edens Zero

I wonder why Xenolith's maintenance is lasting longer. Perhaps it may be revealed in the future. I would laugh if he moved his consciousness/personality data into a younger robot body.

Weisz stays being a perv lol with the bondage training.

Did Xenolith teach Shiki 'Black Sky?' For me, I feel like in the next arc, when Shiki is facing a really tough opponent we will get flashbacks of his training with Xenolith and him learning Black Sky. Then, he'll perform it against the enemy...which could be Ziggy. So, yes, I think Xenolith did teach him. Could be wrong but we'll have to wait and see!

Both Xenolith and Xiaomei have stated that Rebecca's power will change/save the world/universe.

- Xiaomei (Ch. 64): "She has only just begun to unlock the secrets of Leap’s real power. This power may truly save the universe one day."

- Xenolith (Ch. 132): "Her power is weak…but it is the most special. Special enough to change the world."

Witch calling Rebecca a 'Chrono Witch' is giving me Scarlet Witch vibes...

Math for Dummies lol

Stronger heart = Stronger gravity Strength + Tranquility = Strong Heart = Rise from darkness Strength - Tranquility = Weak Heart Weak heart = Weak gravity = Fall to darkness

Fan service with the bath scenes but, at least it is keeping the story going, in that, she has to train in the bath in order to get stronger. Sister makes me geek, "You better get out of those ropes before this turns x-rated." When I read that scene, it gave me Virgo vibes from FT.

I also want to see how Xenolith met Ziggy. So, I'm wishing for a flashback.

I don't know if I put this on a post before or not but, my thoughts are that Ziggy did reach Mother and found Shiki there. He erased the Four Shining Stars memories because something bad would happen if he didn't (like they would get infected the way he is now). So, he did it to save them.

UGHHHH BUT THAT CLIFFHANGER...WHYYYYY - It'll probably blow my mind when it gets revealed.

Also, WOOHOOO! Jinn and Kleene joined the crew. That cute ass smile!!! OOOMG his face when he isn't able to untie Kleene. 🥺🥺🥺

The Oceans

So cool to see the winners of the Edens Zero character competition featured as the Oceans 6! I'm a fan of all of them and don't you worry...we won't forget Shura's assistant even though she's not part of the 6. However, she might be since Shura killed off Cyca. Yikes.... RIP Cyca

Their designs are so clean!! (Sorry if the images look blurry Tumblr only allows 10 photos per post so I tried stitching them together in Illustrator but I think the file size is too big for Tumblr so that's why it may be blurry but, I hope you get the gist of their designs.)

Holy

I wonder what she means by that...I feel like this will be important later. We also don't know much about the other members of the Oración Seis Interstellar. I'm excited to see what their ether gear is...especially Eraser. 👀👀👀 Does his ether have something to do with erasing things? Are they corrupt or good guys? I guess we'll found out soon...

B-Cube

Rebecca has carved 'Edens Zero' onto her B-Cube. Did you guys notice in Ch. 134 that Rebecca's ingrained B-Cube is the same one we see in Ch. 4? That's the scene where there are two robots 20,000 years in the future who find two bodies (a man and a woman) and a B-Cube which we can now confirm is Rebecca's.

The Ships + Other Notable Mentions

LOL I feel like if I was a B-Cuber, I would be an entertainment/fashion channel....basically like Sorcerer Weekly but make it Space Weekly or a cool name like Into the Void. Maybe a play off of 'Cosmopolitan' but shorten it to 'Cosmos.' So many options.

Anyways lets get into the ships. I talked about this first ship in a recent post.

#1 Homura and Creed

I'll say it again...I SHIP IT! I am hoping for some more scenes with them together. He always looks so cute when he blushes <3 He's a Homura stan too hahah. 🥺🥺🥺

Predictions: - Creed and Homura will fight - Creed will protect Homura again - Homura will save Creed - Creed will join the Edens Zero crew

Now, I was reading on a few discord channels that people are comparing Creed to Mest (Fairy Tail). Now, I am really trying to understand this comparison because frankly, I don't see it. Creed has a crush on Homura. That's valid. Also, Creed doesn't just have pictures of just Homura, he has Weisz, Rebecca, and Shiki. He's not creepy like Mest.

Mest was a weird guy when we first met him laying in the pool or eating flowers. Their personalities are totally different IMO. We could talk ages about the age gap stuff but I'm not really gonna go into that.

Do you see the comparison?

#2 Rebecca and Shiki

Shiki escaping from his restraints to save 'Rebecca' made me happy lol. It makes me think what he would do if it was Homura or Weisz in that situation. What would Shiki do? Plus, after the simulation was over...we can see Rebecca in awe and blushing.

Then, Shiki is hugging Rebecca and they're both blushing 💕 That's a cute moment ngl.

"I'm not THAT into Shiki." - So, you don't deny that you like him 😉

#3 Hermit

I don't know if I mentioned this but I fucking love Hermit's name. It's such a cool name.

#4 Justice

Ch. 130 he was looking gooooood with his bandages. 🥵🥵🥵

Ps. Did you get a chance to view Edens Zero PV 2?!?

Did you notice the homage to Fairy Tail in Ch. 134? "Why are your ideas so Fairy Tale?"

[dayseternal-blog]

If you ever finish answering all of yours awaiting asks...

45 questions for you 👀

https://myaekingheart.tumblr.com/post/650107314353897472/fic-writer-ask-game

Lolllll BADLUCKBREBIS, you are so funny.

Inspiration and Reading Asks:

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

It looks like I started writing in 2017. I've been reflecting recently on how there are so many regularly active writers now compared to in 2017-2018. It was the tail-end of some of my fave writer's activity within fandom. Utsus was posting less and less. The Tumblr NaruHina fandom seemed to disappear, a whole community of writers left for other things (matchaball, nekomamoru, magmawrites, cherryjutsu, spyder-m, tenney-shoes, eliphya, among others). 2018 was a very quiet year, but! I avidly read katarinahime and bunnyhoodlum's works! In 2019, quirrrky restarted things with NaruHina Week!

2. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

Recently I’m primarily a reader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because there's so many writers now!!!!!!!!

3. Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do?

Yeah, let’s list them.  “A Special Friend” by agitosgirl inspired “Nightdreams.  “Medicine” by @grimmjowkurosakidrake​ inspired “White Lilies.  “Torch Song” by @mmmbuttery inspired “About You.”  The language in “Unless the World Were to End” by @bunny-hoodlum​ inspired the language in “That was the plan.”  “In Between Drinks” by @peppercornpress inspired “In Between Drinks NH.”

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

“Operation: Bring Home Naruto” by Dragonwannabe - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata's been assigned the mission of getting Naruto back home safely after his last dangerous assignment. But can she handle the undercover identity as his girlfriend that she’d been given without revealing her true feelings for him?

“The Mission” by Lunawraythe - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. It wasn't that Hinata never expected to work with Naruto, just never on a mission quite like this.

“The Loving Type” by @peppercornpresses - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A few years have passed since the Fourth Shinobi War, in which...Rookie Nine steadily advances in rank. Naruto gets engaged. Hinata leaves Konoha. And Kakashi schemes for days.

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

ahhh.  I do have quite a few pet peeves.  If the fic is Canon-Compliant or Canon-Divergent, I expect Naruto and Hinata to behave like Japanese people.  Say what you want, but the Naruto Universe is definitely Japanese in my book.  So that means no shoes in the house.  Nothing rattles me more than reading Hinata taking her sandals off before climbing into bed.  Like, what?  she was wearing her outdoor shoes indoors this whole time??

mmm... another pet peeve is when the writer describes Hinata in a kimono, but it sounds like an American Halloween costume, like the slutty version, instead of an actual kimono.

mmm... and the other big pet peeve I have is when it’s Hinata’s first time eating ramen because Naruto is showing her the wonders of ramen.  lol.  why.  how.  in what world would a Japanese person make it to their teenage years without ever eating ramen.

I have a bunch of other little pet peeves regarding Japanese culture in fanfics.  But in general, it doesn’t stop me from reading the fic if I'm already in the middle of it.  I’ll continue reading it and will probably recommend it to other people anyway. If I can tell based on the summary, then it's not for me, and I don't read it. If this makes anyone feel nervous about writing fanfiction, that's not my intention! I would also be happy to be a sensitivity reader if necessary.

6. How do you find new fic to read? Where do you primarily read fanfiction?

I primarily read fanfics on AO3 and ffnet.  I find new ones by constantly checking the Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto tag on AO3 or looking into a writer’s favorites list on ffnet.

7. Do you prefer to read short fics or long fics?

Short fics.

8. How often do you reblog/comment on fics that you like?

I reblog pretty often. I don't comment as often as I used to😕 I used to comment on every fic I liked.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

Uhh?? Idk. I think recently the writing group here is pretty tight, everyone seems to know everyone.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Naruto fandom and NaruHina.

Fanfiction Writing Asks:

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

I usually take it from words used in the story or from the prompt.

12. Tell the author your favorite fic title of theirs (not the fic, strictly title). Author: what’s your favorite title you’ve come up with and why?

I think...maybe "Tell Me of Forevers" or "Nightdreams." I like those because they aren't taken word-for-word directly from the story, but touch on a theme in the story.

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

Yes, I outline. They wouldn't get a headache, I think. It's usually just a summary.

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not?

Nope. I didn't know people do that.

15. Tell the author your favorite fic of theirs. What’s your (the author’s) favorite fic you’ve written?

My favorite fic continues to be "It's No Secret."

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

Yes, I do. I've done historical and folktale research for "Little Samurai." I did area/location research for "Last Chance." I did historical research for "About You." I did fairy tale research for "Catskin." I did a ton of astronomy research for "The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl." And I did lighting research for "Inspo." I go pretty deep.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

I don't. I usually have something else I need to do or I go to bed.

18. Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie?

I actually think I can finish all of mine if I just try.

19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)?

I always edit before posting to AO3. Anything I post directly on Tumblr might not be edited.

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Posting!

21. What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Starting a new chapter.

22. Do you take fic requests? If so, for what characters and why?

On occasion. If someone sends me a request, I'll think about writing it. Sometimes I do write and post it, sometimes I leave them in my drafts for a better day.

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

From what I already have posted, probably friends-to-lovers, secret relationship/forbidden love, or high school au. I don't think I have an intentional favorite.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

Public humiliation / public degradation.

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

No, not usually.

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

Tumblr feed, all the pictures to scroll through mindlessly.

27. Do you like to give your readers some warning of what might be coming or just slap them in the face with content at random?

lol, whatever is fine.

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

Well, pressure to update is not a big deal to me. I do this for fun, so I don't think I unnecessarily pressure myself too much. With negative comments, I don't get too many of those, and I think I do my best to avoid situations where I might get negative feedback.

29. Have you ever written for an exchange or event of some kind? Which one(s)? Did you enjoy it?

Yeah, I like the events. My favorite was NH2020, the year-long one last year. I also enjoyed the Secret Santa last year since @badluckbrebis was my giftee.

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

haha😈

Ecstasy slides through his veins, blooming over his mind, cocooning him in pleasant sensations, cum shooting out in eager twitches against hot, milking flesh.

31. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Naruto Uzumaki, always.

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

Top 3 faves in order:

That was the plan: "She shifts in his arms, and cloth and cleavage come pillowing up to his face, and he’s certain that she’s scooped from the same puffy stuff his adolescent daydreams were made of."

Tell Me of Forevers: "What he wouldn’t do to inspire every blush, every smile of hers for an eternity when such moments already only speak “forever” to him."

White Lilies: "Whether at his feet, in his eyes, ears, mind, if not reaching his heart, she never landed anywhere. (It’s okay.)"

I consider "White Lilies" to have my technically best writing, so it was kind of hard to choose just one line from that fic! But I decided that one's my favorite line from the whole story.

33. What do you like writing better: one shots or multi-chapter stuff?

One-shots.

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

A lot of my life experiences are in my writing. Hmm, I think readers probably think I'm...hmm...either empathetic or really perverted?

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

I spend a lot less time on real-life social media than before.

36. Are there any fics or fandoms you’re embarrassed to have written or been part of?

I'm kind of embarrassed of "Honeymoon at the Hot Springs" lol. It's fine.

37. Give an update on your current WIP - if you don’t have one, give a sneak peek to a title or idea that you have and would like to write.

My current WIP is that A/B/O fic I started for February Smut Month Prompts: Sweet as Candy or Love Bites. I'm going to title it "Sweet As," and it'll be about how Naruto and Hinata become Alpha/Omega mates. It's really kinky, really smutty, and totally what I would want to read.

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

uhh???? a 1?? I've never once thought of my writing process as chaotic. Ahh, then I think of bunnyhoodlum's multiple drafts for the same chapter, and I realize that there exist types of writing processes that I would not be able to handle...

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

My smut.

40. How did you come up with the idea for [x fic]?

41. What’s your most popular fic (with the most notes on tumblr, most hits/kudos on ao3)?

Idk about Tumblr,,, maybe White Lilies got the most attention here. My most popular fic is Nightdreams on AO3.

42. Asker: pick three of the author’s works. Author: rank them 1 (the best) - 3 (the worst) based on whatever criteria you want - this could be something totally random that isn’t quality related (like simply ranking fics based on how many trains appear in them) - have fun!

43. Talk about a positive experience with fanfiction or the fanfiction community that you will always remember.

I will always remember how people congratulated me for finishing White Lilies😭 Also, when peppercornpresses made that FIRST art of my story, I just, I just stared at it all day.

44. Rant about something writing related.

hmmm, I don't feel like ranting about anything. I just recently ranted about my pet peeves above.

45. Fic specific questions - if you have any weird questions about specific works, here’s your shot to ask them!

I did them all! Nice questions.

[heyheydidjaknow]

I would’ve posted this earlier but, alas, I passed out early. This is a longer one, but tumblr got its act together so I can post it all in one part. You guys know where the other chapters are, and if you don’t, they’re at the end of the chapter. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat straight Nutella.

Chapter 10

“I’m thinking about getting some gloves.”

He looks over at you as he laces up his skates. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling slightly to yourself as you look your hands over, trying to imagine what they would look like. “Like, badass, fingerless gloves.”

He smiles. “Dude, those would look metal as fuck.”

“Totally, right?” Your smile widens. “With studs and shit.”

He gets to his feet, hopping onto the ice. “Hell yeah.” He drops a puck to assault as you go back to your backed-up coursework the best you can—your handwriting has gone to hell, but you are working with what you have.

You flinch at the crack of his stick, the cross of the T ending up underneath the letter somehow. A cheer from Casey tells you the rubber cylinder’s fate.

‘I swear I learned this.' You squint at the basic algebra, the pencil, crudely held in your fist, hovering over the packet. ‘Why can’t I do this?’

“How’s your pile coming along?” Another crack.

“It’s comin’.” You run your fingers through your hair. “Just… trynna remember how to do ne—… subtraction.” ‘Not debate. Negating is debate.’

He laughs. Another crack. “Man, that thing really fucked you over, huh?”

“Thoroughly.” You decide against continuing to torture yourself, having been at it for the past five hours—most of it in the library before Casey invited you to watch him practice some more— and set the large stack of homework back in your bag. “Are you actually making the shots?”

“Casey Jones doesn’t miss shots.” Another crack.

“Pardon me, oh almighty king of the ice.” You stand on your good leg, grabbing the side of the wall to watch as he went back to collect his pucks.

You two have managed to bond over a mutual respect/love of heavy metal and hockey and, seeing as you are staying out of the Hamatos’ hair for a while—not upon request, but out of courtesy—you have managed to spend a lot more time with him than you may have otherwise. Your school has not assigned Biology any big projects yet, so, until you are assigned it, you do not have anything other than your health to stress about.

“Pardon accepted.” You watch his form as he performs another slap shot.

“You…” you trail off, trying to remember what you were going to say.

“What?”

You shrug. “Dunno.” You lean your head on your arms. “I’ll remember eventually.”

He drops the second puck. “Got any plans after this?”

You sigh. “Nope. Probably gonna head home and try not to cut my fingers making dinner again.”

He takes another shot. “Then let’s go out after this. You and me.”

You smile. “What, don’t have any plans either?”

“Nah.” He drops the third. “Dad doesn’t care if I’m home late anyway.”

“True, true.” You have decided against prying into his home life; it is not your place and does not concern you in the slightest. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Wanna catch a movie? Heard there was this new pizza place just a couple blocks down if you wanna try to sneak it in.”

You snicker. “In the box and all?”

“Yes.” He grins mischievously and hits this one off the walls. Some way, somehow, it still makes it into the goal. “I bet your sweatshirt is big enough to stick the box under.”

You stick your tongue out at him. “Not in the mood for burns on top of scars, Jones,” you reprimand him teasingly. “That just ain't it.”

“Then you can wear mine under that one and—”

“Your sweat-soaked hoodie you’ve been practicing in all day?” You cringe at the thought. “Over my dead body.”

“I mean…” he licks his teeth, smile widening, “it’s not exactly like you’re in the best—”

You laugh. “So not cool!”

He puts his hands up in defense, gliding over. “I mean, am I wrong, though?”

“That is completely besides the point, you ass.” You balance on your foot, crossing your arms. “Damn. Making fun of the girl with the broken leg.”

He leans against the wall. “Man, you were dying before the crash.”

You roll your eyes. “Alright, whatever, Jones.” You lean against your hand. “How’s Johanna,” you sing.

He presses his hand against your face, pushing you away. “Annie is doing fine.”

You grin, steadying yourself on the wall. “Do you feel her, Johanna?”

“I’m gonna tell her you call her that if you don’t quit it.”

“Do you think that walls can hide her? Even when you’re at her window?”

He pushed his arm all the way out. You hop back.

“Her name isn’t even Johanna.”

“But she is Johanna,” you whine in protest, not bothering to hide your mirth. “She has the hair, the voice, the disposition. She’s an ingénue and you know it.” You have been teasing him about this for a while now: the girl in question—Annabelle Halshaw, a year below you two—had caught his eye when he had heard through the grapevine that she was the lead singer in some indie band. When he had shown you a picture and told you the story, you insisted on calling her Johanna for her golden hair and soft, sweet singing voice he had proudly had you listen to.

“She’s not.”

You roll your eyes, sitting back down as you grab your bag. “Lie to yourself all you want,” you goad, “but deep down, you know in your heart that the truth,” you put a finger up, “is apparent.”

He hops off the ice, sitting next to you as he unlaces his skates. “Whatever.” He smirks. “How’s The Don?”

You avert your gaze. “I haven’t seen ‘im.”

“Boo.” He tied the laces together. “Some girlfriend you are,” he ribs.

You go red. “Not my boyfriend. Not even friends with benefits.”

“Yeah, sure.” He sets the skates into his bag. “That’s why you already know his family.”

“That—”

“And why you’ve had him over to your place.”

“If you don’t cool your tits, I’m telling Lucy you’re crushing on her friend.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“What,” you simper, “think I won’t?”

He grabs his bag. “If you do, I’ll show her that video.”

You laugh, following him out of the rink. “You’re the worst.” You note how strange it is that he spent so little time on the ice as you two walk out, but you do not say anything about it.

“Hey, you’re the one throwing threats around.”

“Yeah,” you argue, “but my threat is clearly better.”

He rolls his eyes, pushing you again.

You two keep chatting on the way to the theatre about anything and everything, from new bands to upcoming games to the newest blockbuster horror movies. You are not personally on the hockey team, but, as his friend, it is your duty to care. Besides, you figure, it gives you something to look forward to.

The movie is fine. You convince him against sneaking an entire pizza in, you split a bucket of popcorn, and you give him shit for getting freaked out by the disembowelment scene. It is payback for him teasing you about crying during the last movie you two went to a couple of days ago.

You two stand at the streetlight.

“Dude, it’s like eight,” he groans. “It’s not even late.”

“True,” you agree. “Counterpoint: I still have another week’s worth of work to do by Friday on top of the homework I’ll have to do anyway, so unless you wanna help—”

“Forget I asked.” He pulls his hood up against the autumn wind. “Need me to walk you back?”

“Nah.” You shrug. “If someone mugs me, they’ll give me an excuse to not do my homework.”

“Murdered?

“I’m already halfway there.”

He grins. “See ya tomorrow, Y/N.”

“See ya, Jones.” You wave as he runs off.

The walk home is quiet and considerably easier than it was a couple of weeks ago. Seeing as you now get queasy whenever you get into a car, you have been limited to taking the subway and walking, which, among other things, has contributed positively to your physical strength. You know that you should probably at least try to take the bus or a cab around town to build your tolerance up, but the last time you tried, you had almost tripped and fallen from how shaky your legs were getting out. Oddly enough, you note as you go through the door, you do not have a considerably larger fear of heights than you did before, or of fire, but cars were tripping you up, even though you were the one that crashed it. You feel thankful that, at least, you do not think your fear is crippling. At least, you reason, you can still get into the car.

You lock the door behind you, debating whether you feel like adding to the collection of cuts you now possess— they are self-inflicted, but not intentionally so; you stubbornly refuse to acknowledge the fact that you physically cannot use your hands to cut things. You decide against it tonight, tossing your bag on the bed as you sprawl across it, admittedly exhausted. You allow yourself a couple of seconds with your eyes closed before you pull yourself up with a groan and get back to work.

A part of you wishes that you had the physical energy to stay out longer. You are always trying to find excuses not to sleep, and although the mountain of homework and readjusting your timelines for things you missed is certainly one way to keep yourself preoccupied, it is not exactly what you would consider fun. Then again, reliving your greatest traumas while you sleep is not exactly fun either.

You catch yourself peeling at the newly applied bandages on your fingers, fingernails catching under the crudely applied adhesives. Applying bandages properly requires more dexterity and patience than you currently possess, and you are hardly going to ask someone else for help with something as stupid as that. You have lasted this long without needing too much help. People can live by themselves. You will live, probably. Well? Not your concern.

‘I should eat something.’ Your eyes strain to focus on the piece of paper in front of you, your mind wandering aimlessly as you try to impress the actual importance of finishing this upon yourself, but you find that is an insurmountable feat.

You drop your bag off the side of the bed, reaching down and pulling your shoe off, leaning back into your pillows, the weight of the day practically immobilizing you. Fumbling hands switch the lamp off, bathing your room in momentary, blissful darkness before the gravity of your decision sets in.

“Alright, me,” you breathe to yourself. “What’s it gonna be today? My folks? Bradford? What’s his face? Hell,” you chuckle, “why not all three? I’m sadistic enough, I’m sure.”

You close your eyes. “Give me your worse,” you challenge as you slip into unconsciousness.

--

Two weeks.

He had kept his distance for about two weeks. It was not as if he did not care or was not morbidly curious what the crash had done to you—his glances through the curtains did not tell him much-- but, after some debate, he had figured you needed time to recuperate before you would want his company. Two weeks, he figured, would be enough time for you to get back on your feet or, at least, for you to start wanting company.

His excuse to see you had come in the form of his brother’s newfound prideful boasting. Feigning insult was as good an excuse as any to go see you; after all, he just so happened to be in the neighborhood anyway, and it was normal to pop in to see someone if you were already just a couple blocks down, right? Sneaking away was easy enough—they would not mind his absence—and he, after much prep work, knew exactly how and why he was going to say the things he would to get in your good favor. The plan, he knows, would have gone swimmingly.

His plans seem asinine when he hears you crying.

His brothers do not cry much. He does not, either; it was a habit that they had all thoroughly bullied themselves out of when they were much younger and, if they still did, he knew nothing of it. His master did not encourage this, per se, but talked, then, frequently about the importance of maintaining a more stoic disposition and not allowing emotions to cripple you in battle. Practically, Donatello was satisfied with that explanation, having not properly cried for more than a year now. To hear the sound again, especially coming from you, was novel.

Novel, too, is how you are crying. The sound is less of actual sobbing and more of you being strangled, quiet gasps for air escaping your lips as you shake on the bed, curled in on yourself and clutching at your chest as if whatever pain you are experiencing is centered and can be relieved by something between your collarbones. His eyes, for the first time, trace the lines on your skin, your sleeves riding up your arms to reveal them to him, tears racing down and along the gash in your face. Everything about the scene, from the soft gasping of panic to your position to the heavy scarring, is completely foreign to him, rivaled only by one or two particularly hard nights when he and his brother were much younger.

He slides in through the window, leaning onto the bed. His fingers flick your lamp back on as he grabs your shivering shoulder tightly, shaking you awake as he mumbles words of encouragement. He is not sure if his help will be appreciated, if snapping you out of it was even what he is supposed to do in this situation, but now is not the time to think of that. You are in pain. He can offer you this kindness. “Wake up,” he pleads, not thinking of how this would look until your eyes snap open to look at him.

Immediately, the reality of the situation sets in, and he scrambles off the bed. ‘Why did I think that would be a good idea?’ Panic. ‘You just walked into her room like a fucking creep. See, now she’s going to—’

“Sorry.”

He blinks, looking up at you from his place on the floor. “Huh?”

You clear your throat, wiping the tears from your eye with your sleeve quickly as you bring your knees to your chest, voice hoarse. “Sorry,” you repeat. “That you… I’m not sure what I’m apologizing for, but I know I should be apologizing.”

He is completely dumbfounded.

Your eyes glance to the open window. “I should probably start closing and locking my window, right?” You rub the back of your neck, voice clearing the longer you talk. “It didn’t occur to me since I’m so high up, but if you guys can get in, The Foot can too, right?”

‘Why is she apologizing?’

You push the hair out of your face. ‘You need something, right? I—uh—need to stop saying ‘right’ so much.” You shake your head to clear it. “’ Sup?”

He hears himself mumble some bullshit out about being in the neighborhood.

You sigh. “Sorry.” You close your eyes. “I’m usually up later; I’ve been so tired lately.”

‘Is she serious right now?’ He is completely lost. ‘She was just crying her eyes out in her sleep and now she’s apologizing? Did I miss something?’ You are smiling now, eyes still bloodshot, as if the whole thing is a figment of his imagination, still shivering where you sit.

He rises to his feet, kneeling in front of you on the bed. “What was it about?”

You blink, seemingly confused. “Huh?”

“Your nightmare,” he clarifies. “You were crying. What was it about?”

You avert eye contact. “Nothing too crazy,” you shrug. “Just about the crash. Nothing too exciting.” If possible, he thinks the bags under your eyes are worse than the last time you saw him.

He takes your hands loosely, turning them palms up to look, for the first time, at the patchwork quilt that is now your skin. “What happened in it?” He runs his thumb along the lines, keeping his voice low; he remembers how that used to help when Mikey used to have fits when they were younger. Leonardo and Raphael were never good at that; they took better to being more violently snapped out of their moods, but, then again, they never had this kind of breakdown; theirs were always more driven by loathing, self or otherwise.

You pause, still not looking him in the face as your muscles relax. He remembers, vividly, how he had done something similar when you two had first met, how much better, health-wise, you looked. ‘How long has it been since then? Three months? A little less?’

You take a deep breath. “Just… family shit,” you mumble, eyelids drooping as you trace his frame loosely. “Fire.”

Your gaze is piercing as you finally look at him properly. He feels something catch in his throat as you bow your head.

“It’s my fault, you know.” Your voice is so soft, barely a whisper. “That they’re dead, I mean.”

The air is a suffocating blanket that smothers you both.

“I never told you, did I?” Your focus does not shift as it might have a bit ago. It is locked solely and intensely on him, taking in every detail of his expression. “How I died? How they died? Why I died?”

Hesitantly, he shakes his head. He thinks it best to just be quiet and let you talk. He does not think he has ever heard anyone speak in quite the same tones, ever looked at him quite the same way you are.

You take another breath. “I wanted to try my hand at baking.” You force your eyes to stay focused on his. “I was—still am—not good about sleep. I always slept bad, and never at the right times. I used to take pills for it, to try to get myself back on track.”

He sees where this is going.

“I thought I could still stay up as late as I was used to.” You glance to the side, stealing yourself a second before focusing back on the boy in front of you. “I sat down in my room, turned on a movie. I set a timer. I fell asleep.” You swallow, hands shaking in his. “I can’t smell well, either. I must not have smelled the burning.” Your lips curl in a bitter smile. “Sure as fuck felt it, though, when I woke up.”

He lets you finish.

You try to blink the tears out of your eyes. “They were asleep,” Your voice rises ever so slightly. “I fell asleep at two something. I woke up when they started yelling.” You purse your lips, face reddening in shame as your nostrils flair. “They were trying to get someone out of bed when the roof caved in above them. My door got blocked.”

You feel yourself smile.

“So,” you strain not to cry, “that, Donatello, is why I’m here and why I’m dead, and why I really do deserve to burn again.” You laugh. “Hell, my body count is rivaling some serial killers, so that’s… that’s certainly something.”

He lets go of your hands, face blank.

You lean forward, placing your hands on your knees. “I don’t blame you,” You wipe a wayward tear out of your eyes, trying to swallow the frog in your throat. “Fuck, man, I’d think less of me, too, if it were me.” You nod towards the window. “I get it if you want to leave, but I thought you might want to know why—”

He stops you mid-sentence, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him.

Your arms lay slack at your sides as you try to process what is happening.

He does not say a word.

You break.

You burry your face into him, tears welling in your eyes as you let out a strangled sob. You hold onto him tightly as you struggle to breathe, body shaking as you wrap your own arms around him the best you can. The sound roars in your ears like thunder, the deafening quiet of the apartment punctuated only by your own cries. He gently holds you there, resting his head on top of yours. Each sound you make sounds as though you are physically being choked by your guilt, and his chest feels as though it is being crushed by an invisible hand as he listens to your pain.

Neither of you knows how long you stay like that.

He considers telling you a story from a long time ago, about some training he and his brothers had back then, but thought better of it; he does not want to upset you any more than you already are, and being in good company with someone like him may not be exactly what you need right now. Granted, he does not know what you do need, but he knows listening to him talk about bashing brains would not help your sensibilities any.

Instead, he stays quiet.

You pull away after a while, wiping your face off again as you mumble out an apology.

“Don’t apologize.” He clears his throat. “It’s good to cry; it releases endorphins.”

You smile at that. “Well,” you giggle tearfully, “if it releases endorphins.”

He smiles back, face flushing. You look good, he thinks, even with your face all red. He knows that, scientifically, there is probably a reason, but he cannot think of it right now.

He stands up. “I’ll get—”

You grab his hand tightly.

He looks back at you.

“Can I ask a favor?”

He blinks. “Of course,” he agrees easily. “Anything.”

You glance off. “Promise not to take it weird?”

He feels his heart rate increase. “Y-yeah,” he nods.

He feels you pull him gently back on the bed. “Can you stay here tonight?”

His eyes widen as they flicker between the mattress and you. “What,” he clarifies breathlessly, “like sleep with you?”

You nod.

“In the same bed?”

You hesitate, nod again.

He clears his throat, face heating again. “Like, actually?”

“If it wasn’t actually, I wouldn’t ask, would I?” You grip his hand tightly. “I just really don’t want to be alone tonight.”

‘Oh.’ He mentally kicks himself. ‘She’s scared. Don’t make her uncomfortable.’

“It’s alright if you don’t—”

He is extremely quick to reassure you that he is more than happy—‘Bad choice of wording.’—to stay tonight until you fall asleep, but that he would not stay the whole night as to not worry his brothers.

You nod in agreement. “That’s fine.” You rub the back of your neck. “Not sure I would be good company when I wake up, anyway; I still have class.”

“Oh, right.” He nods in understanding, pushing himself further onto the bed. “Which side…?”

You shrug. “Which way do you face?”

“I usually lie on my stomach.”

“Then it doesn’t matter.” You slide your sweatshirt over your head after a bit of squirming around, tossing it onto the couch.

His face is now scarlet. “Okay then,” he mumbles, laying down on the side away from the window. ‘Is she going to—no, stop that.’

You look over at him, face down on the mattress. You can almost feel the heat coming off him. “Are you alright there, buddy?”

He nods.

You shrug, laying down under the blanket and curling into him, facing the window. “Mind getting the light?”

He reaches over, clicking it off.

You sigh in content, turning to face him, teetering on the edge of the mattress. “I’m not venomous,” you inform him teasingly. “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: of the two of us, you should not be the one who’s a nervous wreck.”

“You dunno that.” His voice is muffled by the bed.

“You’re the strong one,” you argue.

“So?” He turns his head to look at you. “I’m the guy laying in the—I’m just gonna stop that sentence.”

“It’s only bad if it isn’t consensual.” You smile reassuringly. “I invited you to lay with me, right? So, unless I make you uneasy, then we’re all good.”

He breaks eye contact. “So,” he clarifies, “you don’t mind if I move closer to you?”

You shake your head.

He hesitantly slides himself further onto the bed. “Can I move closer than this?”

“You’ve already seen me bawl my eyes out. You’re doing me a service. Move as close or as far as you want.”

He moves to press his side against you. “Is this fine?”

You nod. “Look, how about this?” You rest your arm under your head. “If you do something I’m uncomfortable with, the safe word is pina colada.”

‘We already have a safe word?’ He was not sure if he is on cloud nine or just terrified of you.

You are very confused why he looks so warm. “Do you need me to turn the AC on?”

He shakes his head. “I’m good,” he assures you tightly. Slowly, he reached an arm out and over your waist, pulling you closer. You do not seem to resist in any way, wrapping your good leg around one of his to pull him closer.

‘Conscious touching.’ He glances down at you, trying to act cool. ‘Conscious, intentional touching. She smells so nice and she feels—okay, this is not going to work if you keep being a perv.’

“Thanks,” you mumble, humming softly. “I appreciate this more than you know.”

Cloud nine. Definitely on cloud nine.

“Every time.”

You giggle.

He blinks. “What?”

“Every time,” you note, already nodding off. “Like in that book.”

‘Which one?’ “They wrote it down for a reason, right?” The longer he spends like this, the smoother he feels.

“Totally.” You smile, closing your eyes. “Just know that this goes both ways, alright? If you ever need help like this, you know who to call.”

This is new. ‘Help like this? What, like crying?’ His eyebrows furrow as he tries to understand what you mean. ‘Or he means if I ever need company in my—what did I just say?’

You pick up on his confusion. “Emotional help, I mean.” Your fingers trace the indentations in his shell absentmindedly. “I mean, I know sometimes I didn’t want to go to my family about stuff. I dunno if you have that…” you trail off, realizing that you might be unintentionally bashing his brothers. You sincerely do not want to blow this.

“I mean,” he says after a bit, “I think I get what you’re talking about.” He sighs. “You mean stuff that they’d make fun of me for, right?”

You nod.

He feels his heart melt a little. “I’ll have to take you up on that.”

You forgot how safe he makes you feel. “Goodnight, Donnie,” you mumble sleepily.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

You pass out not long after that. If he has to estimate a general amount of time, he will clock it in at about five minutes. He does not move, however, until about thirty minutes before sunrise, too busy listening to the sound of your breathing and memorizing how exactly your body feels next to his. As he slips out of the window, early morning air waking him back up completely, he wonders if, someday, he could stay to see you wake up next to him. Not out of necessity, but just because you both wanted to stay like that for a while more.

‘I hope so. It’s a nice dream to have, anyhow.’

Table of Contents

Chapter 9

Chapter 11

[theroguequeenaniki]

Questions 2009 -> 2021

This is from my Facebook. It popped up on my memories page thing. I originally answered this in 2009 when I was 15, it’s now 2021 & and I am 27, so I’m gonna do it again. Leaving the original answers. Original answers will be italicized. Commentary on the original answers in parentheses & crossed out? Lol. (I’m not gonna tag anyone, but, like, I guess if you want to answer these random questions from Facebook 12 years ago, go ahead lol) 

Questions

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose people to tag. Don't forget to tag me so I can see your answers! To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy! Next, tag people that you think may enjoy this (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :) 1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My cup with my Big Red in it The straw to my Kate Spade tumbler to drink my HEB Cola Lol.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? I got it off the internet. it's a random anime girl. My bedroom. 3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Never played it. Probably wouldn't be good at it. Not to good at video games. But I am good at Mario Cart, both 64 and the Wii. plus I'm good at some Sonic games. Still never played it. Idk if I’m any good at Mario Cart or the Sonic games anymore, I haven’t played either in years lol

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Doctor Who TikTok. My cats.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Umm, probably about 10:00 cause it took me forevor to get into bed. Uh..Past 4am. Lol. B/c my sleep schedule is fucked. I was in bed by 3am though, but I was playing games & watching TikToks on my phone. Lol.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yes. I'd move to either New York or Sweden. I don’t know. Part of me says yes. But part of me says no..b/c even though Texas has it’s faults (a LOT of them), I cannot imagine living anywhere else long-term..

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? HAHA. Yeah right. I've never even been kissed! Still nope. I have been kissed though. He just didn’t kiss me under the fireworks the one NYE we spent together...

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Um, I think R, but D might also. D is accross Stasney from me and R is a couple blocks down (I don’t talk to these people much anymore & I’m not going to share their names on Tumblr) Uh. I think Maybe Raven? B/c they’re the only one who lives in the same city still. But, Sarah might technically be closer distance wise? Hold on. Ok, yeah, Sarah’s closer, even though she doesn’t live in this city anymore.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? It all depends on the situation.(I totally stold M's answer but it's true) (I don’t talk to this person anymore & I’m not gonna share their name on Tumblr) I mean, yeah. Two of my best friends are each others exes and they’re still friends. I haven’t stayed friend with my ex, but, uh, he ghosted me so? Lol.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper? I love it. I still love it. Lol.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I can't remember. I don't think it was that long ago, I had a light cry on Saturday, but I don't remember the last time I cried really hard. When we got back from our trip in July. Had a full on breakdown that night. Overheated all weekend. Overwhelmed. Anxiety. It was not a very good vacation..I cry a lot though.

12. Who took your profile picture? I got it off of google. I did. 

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Umm, either myself, or one of my family members. Aside from myself. I think my dad, on his phone, b/c there was a cicada on his shoulder and he wanted to ask the family group chat if he could keep it. Lol. I take a LOT of pictures of cats though. Lol.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Hail yes! To much drama today! And I couldn't avoid it cause I was in the middle of it! (Oof, what drama was 15 yo Linda dealing with that she couldn’t avoid? Lol. I mean, I guess, Sophomore year was a bit full of drama lol) Anyway, I mean, they were pretty much the same. One wasn’t better than the other. One wasn’t worse than the other.

15. Can you live a day without TV? yeah. Now Music there is something I can't live without! Yep, Do it almost everyday. Sentiments about music remain the same. Lol.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes. I'm annoyed about something and it's making me upset. (I assume this has something to do with the the drama mentioned earlier lol) Always. Anxiety & depression are a bitch. My rooms a mess & I can’t get myself to clean it. My shelves are still a mess.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yeah. though i havent really had one yet. I mean, yeah. Even though I haven’t had one last, aside from friendships, but they’re worth it. 

18. Are you a bad influence? I hope not. If so, let me know.(again I took M's answer but it's true) Probably. Idk. Lol.

19. Night out or night in? Depends on what's going on and how I feel about it. Night in usually. I do like going out sometimes, but, like, to dinner. Maybe a movie or a show. But, you know, we’ve been in a panini press, the only thing I’ve been comfortable doing is going to dinner (fully vaxxed & masked). But I also prefer staying home anyway. (Like I usually just go to dinner with my family lol)

20. What items could you not go without during the day? my computer. my book. my journal and a pen. My phone. My journal (b/c I write in it every night, as a diary, 14yo Linda wrote stories). Uh. I didn’t take food or drinks into account in the og, so I won’t in those. But, yeah. My phone & journal. I can go a day without my laptop if I need to. (Went the whole trip in July without pulling it out, though maybe that’s not a good example since my anxiety on that trip was so high..) I want to say a book, but I’ve been in a massive reading slump so...I wish I read as much as 15yo Linda did..

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I don't remember. I think it was myself.(if you want to know, ask me in person) I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I was in a hospital. 

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Mrbobbybones:  wish ted would finally meet their mother already. geez. get to it. However, I see myself in that character more and more each episode." yeah. That's what it says. It's from Twitter. (Huh? and I can’t even go check b/c my inbox doesn’t go back to 2009 on Twitter?? (I haven’t had my account that long) Wait wait wait just remembered I used to get tweets to my phone as text messages lol)

Facebook messenger: “ Cool” From our group chat. Lol.

From actual text messages on my phone: “ heeey! Just put up the Tuesday PDS just for you  it’s a big one.” From Phillip Defranco’s text line Lol.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I'm loving and hating it. but hey nobody gets out alive right? Uh..I mean. I’m alive. I have WiFi. Food. Family. I haven’t seen my friends in 2 years. (Minus Alex, b/c they were here in July to cat/house sit, but I saw them for like, one night..) There’s a lot that could be better. A lot that could be worse. 

24. Do you hate anyone? yes!!! Oof. I mean, kinda.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook Inbox, what would we find? some random conversations. most of my convos on her though have been in chat or through comments. Facebook Inbox is now Facebook Messenger. So you’ll find all my Facebook Messenger convos. Mostly our group chat. And side group chats for secret planning (birthdays & stuff). Plus other chats? Lol.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I better! (excuse me miss 15yo Linda you absolutely could have passed a drug test you ALSO didn’t drink or smoke or take any drugs lol) Yeah. Absolutely. I don’t drink or smoke or take any drugs so, yeah? Lol.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? 

Yes. But I can't remember when... Yeah. Pretty sure. 

28. What song is stuck in your head? Gee by SNSD(Girls Generation) They're Korean. A few My Chemical Romance songs

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? EDWARD CULLEN! Joke! lol. No I don't know. If it was Edward, I'd call the cops. whoever it is though better have an explaination or they are gonna get hit in the head with my Book of Shadows. (Maybe I wouldn’t mind Edward at my window though? Lol.) Uh. My friends? Lol. Idk if I want anyone knocking on my window at 2am.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don't know....... Uh. No? Idk. Most likely not gonna happen. 

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? I can't think of anything right now... Eat. Should probably clean my room.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Way to much! lol. Way way way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? i try to. I think I do. I get told that alot in Theater...

I think so

[baoshan-sanren]

The YinYang Master (2021) liveblog

okay so the city is where the people live and outside of the city is where the monsters live, got it

the yinyang bureau are the dudes who fight the monsters? sure

off the bat, chen kun (qingming) is accused of like killing a bunch of people in the bureau, no clue if he actually did it, but the person i assume to be the female interest does not believe a word of it (or does she)

anyway, he gets the fuck out of there, good for him

seven years later?

are these?

three raccoons in a trench coat? 

there are. there are three raccoons in a trench coat, each wielding a sharp and deadly weapon

it’s been ten minutes and this movie has got my attention

OH WE’RE GETTING CHEN KUN WHO FIGHTS WITH A FAN

AND DRINKS LIKE A FISH

AND HOPS AROUND WITH HIS HAIR LOOSE GOOD LORD

hello flying demon things I like your wings

here’s the female love interest again and uh

she’s

a bit terrifying now

whoever is dubbing her must’ve smoked two packs a day for ten years because holy hell that is some gravel

the flying demon thing stole some red gem that I assume is very important

SHE TOOK HIS ASS DOWN WITH ONE ARROW 

NOT TO BE A LESBIAN BUT OH MY GOD

okay these things aren’t raccoons, what the hell are they? are the weasels? I’m gonna call them weasels 

anyway I’ve had these weasels for 15 minutes but if anything happens to them

THEY ARE FERRETS 

A FERRET SWALLOWED THE RED GEM THING 

this is quickly getting out of hand you feel me?

OH MY GOOOOOD WHO IS THIS LADY VILLAIN NOW

can you imagine having to report to your boss like, I stole the thingy but then I was defeated by three ferrets 

I would die on the spot, like rip to this dude but I’m different

she has some kind of freezing ice power and I like it

now where are we

THERE ARE BADASS LADIES EVERYWHERE IN THIS GUYS

GUYS

I HAVE BEEN MISLED ABOUT THIS MOVIE

AND WHAT IS THIS LOOK? GOOD GOD

anyway, I’m not feeling too hot about this poor ferret’s prospects bc that red gem thing TALKS TO YOU and it sound pretty evil

ah shit, so the yinyang bureau is all like “those ferrets belong to qingming so he’s the one who did it, which means we were right to accuse him of trying to steal the red gem seven years ago”

no wonder this dude drinks, everyone’s out to get him

so the red gem is actually the snake? or like it was the snake? or is the soul of the snake?

this official-looking dude is just talking shit in front of this gravelly female chief of the bureau like he’s got a death wish

good, tell him to zip it

oh shit now we’re getting some past events and they are.... eventful

hm this cimu guy is getting a lot of screen time for a dead dude, perhaps he is not dead?

just now realizing the yinyang bureau boss lady is zhou xun I feel stupid

BOYA 

he’s in some deep shit for losing the tribute to a drunk dude and a bunch of ferrets in a trench coat 

and I have to say that’s a pretty valid thing to be in trouble for

"I fought with Qingming and he fled in defeat” *SNORT*

did this girl just

hit him with a really long cucumber?

w h a t  i s  h a p p e n i n g

her name is Shenle and I am now signing the adoption papers 

her and boya are going into the monster realm to find qingming and I can just sense a bunch of oncoming shenanigans 

I was right

i’m just now realizing that qingming intentionally left boya this spell so he can summon the bridge and come find him

what are you up to mister?

GUYS THIS MONSTER REALM 

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I PICTURED GHOST CITY IN TGCF AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH

qingming just made boya his familiar and let me tell you

not nearly as romantic as it was in the dream of eternity

BUT FUNNY THO

qingming is kind of a dick too and I think I like him more

jghgjfkdghdks what is this little red monster thingy what is happening

idk what makes costume designers stuff chen kun in these high collar robes but I am here for this look

ACTION ACTION ACTION FIGHT

this is a lot of romance for me personally right now but

i’m fucking really digging the fact that both chen kun and zhou xun are like 

grown-ass adults and experienced actors

she’s even older than him by a couple of years I think so like

for a hetero romance this is basically the only kind I care to see

I KNEW CIMU WAS UP TO NO GOOD

oh maybe he’s dead actually? what is his DEAL

okay this lady isn’t listening to anything you’re saying like why even bother

this poor fucking ferret

OH NO 

NOT THE FERRET

okay this bitch can eat my entire asshole, fuck her and her righteous bullshit 

aaaand now we’re all getting drunk

chen kun shouldn’t be allowed to do anything ever seriously he’s too hot to exist I feel attacked 

hey asshole lady, do you think maybe now you can admit you were wrong and qingming was right?

now we’re all “I should’ve trusted you”

she’s literally going “when this is over, this bracelet will be yours again” I know there’s some magic thing happening w the bracelet but that’s an euphemism if I’ve ever heard one 

you just called him a monster to his face like 10 minutes ago

this lady’s got some balls

qingming you’re too nice, I would’ve made her work for it

OH WE GET TO MEET THE BAD GUY BOSS

hnggg this fight scene is just

I am watching this film for the plot

oh crap the asshole lady is dead already?

that was a short redemption arc

and the snow lady is dead too hmpf I actually liked her unhinged little laugh

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW WHO THE BAD GUYS IS

i feel like the entire monster-fucking dark side of tumblr needs to get a load of this dude

where you going spider dude?

oh this is

not a good development 

okay I am definitely not vibing with boya being depicted as an absolute dumbass for 90% of this film like

you could take him out of the movie completely and not lose any of the plot which is... not good

STOP STOP I’M ALREADY DEAD

I have to say these special effects are a bit over the top but so visually satisfying omg

also like

making me actually invested in every single small character within a space of 2.5 hours is pretty impressive 

hngggg

i’m starting to think that the whole point of this movie is to showcase how hot chen kun is in any clothing with any hair under any circumstances 

oh so now that the bad guy is dead the asshole lady is alive again

which is kind of a cop-out but whatever 

“you promised to live and die by my side and never betray me” BIG WORDS FROM SOMEONE WHO BETRAYED HIM FIRST

ahh I get what he did now

that’s pretty cool

and kind of sad

I’m not crying kind of sad but that shit hurted

still, I do like this ending

although this whole thing would’ve been much better as a drama at least 30 episodes long I don’t feel like I wasted 2.5 hours

so yeah, I def rec this if you have time to kill

[lilyvandersteen]

The Christmas Guest: Epilogue

Author’s Note: This is the promised epilogue, short but sweet. Thank you so much for following along as I was posting this multichapter and leaving me comments and likes - your support means the world to me!

Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 and Chapter 5, the Interlude, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9 and Chapter 10 here on Tumblr, or read the story on AO3 or FF.net.

Epilogue

“So this is the famous Kurt, huh?” Cooper boomed, walking towards Kurt with a blinding smile and open arms. “I’ve heard so much about you!”

Kurt got a big hug and kisses on both cheeks, and needed a second to recover from Cooper’s enthusiasm before he managed to say, “All good, I hope?”

“Oh, definitely. He admires you more than me, can you imagine? His own brother, and so successful! But no, it’s always Kurt this, and Kurt that. Like this…”

Cooper made heart eyes and imitated Blaine’s voice and mannerisms. “Did you hear that Kurt scored the lead in an Off Broadway play? Did you hear that he’s making a dress for Rihanna to wear at the Met Gala? Did you know Kurt will be the youngest person to ever achieve EGOT status?”

Kurt laughed. “I wish! Nothing so impressive has happened just yet, but go ahead and make up whatever grand future you picture for me, and I’ll try to make it happen.”

Cooper grinned and slapped him on the shoulder. “That’s the spirit!”

Mr. and Mrs. Anderson’s faces were far less exuberant than their son’s, but they too advanced and held out a hand for Kurt to shake.

“Pleased to meet you,” said Kurt. “And may I say, your house is beautifully styled. So light and so open, and yet you get an instant homey feel.”

The praise earned him a genuine smile from Mrs. Anderson, and soon they were discussing light fixtures and throw pillows and accent walls as if they’d known each other forever.

Mr. Anderson took some more time to win over, but by the time they were eating dessert, Kurt had hit upon the right topic: cars. Apparently, Mr. Anderson loved Top Gear, and was more than happy to discuss the program with Kurt, and after that the classic car he’d restored with Blaine, taking Kurt to the garage to show it to him.

By the time Kurt and Blaine left, they had scored another dinner invitation, and Mrs. Anderson had stage-whispered to Blaine, “I really like him, honey bee!”

As they drove off, Blaine glanced at Kurt, shook his head and chuckled.

“What?”

“That was quite the charm offensive. I’m impressed.”

Kurt grinned. “I learned from the master.”

K&B

Seven Christmases after the first one they spent together, Blaine and Kurt were once again hands deep in dough as they prepared a festive brunch together. For the first time, they would be hosting the family get-together instead of Burt and Carole.

After graduating, they’d started looking for a house or an apartment they could share. Having your own place came in handy when you had a fight and needed some time to cool off, but for day-to-day living, it was very inconvenient. No matter how efficient you became at packing the essentials for a sleepover, there were always things you forgot.

As Kurt didn’t want to move into Blaine’s shoebox apartment (“I need room for my clothes, Blaine!”) and Blaine wasn’t any more interested in sharing Kurt’s loft (“I don’t want to get up at four in the morning to get to work on time!”), they searched for a place to live that they both liked. As much as they liked New York City, it was clear from the start that they would have to expand their horizons to find a place they both liked and could afford.

They ended up in New Jersey, within a reasonable commuting distance for both of their jobs.

Kurt still worked at Vogue part-time. The rest of his time was devoted to his successful line of accessories and shoes.

Blaine had worked as a music therapist at a children’s hospital at first, after graduating from NYU. Then, one of Blaine’s college buddies had suddenly soared to fame as a Broadway playwright, penning two hit musicals back to back. For the second musical, Blaine helped write the music, and when the male lead ended up in hospital after an accident, he took over the role to rave reviews. Before he knew it, he’d become a Broadway star, often playing lead with Rachel as his character’s wife or love interest.

“Rather you than me!” Kurt had said with feeling the first time Blaine announced he was going to play opposite Rachel.

Blaine nodded with a wry grin. “You’re right. She can be a bit much sometimes.”

“A bit?!”

Blaine laughed. “She’s a diva, yes. But nothing I can’t handle. And she is a loyal friend, a hard worker and always stays professional. Remember that Harmony girl who kept groping me?”

“Ew, yes. Okay, point taken. Rachel’s the lesser evil.”

Rachel had married Jesse St James and moved to New Jersey too. Both couples took turns hosting dinner on Friday night, and Kurt and Blaine were godfathers to Rachel and Jesse’s daughter Anna.

The St Berry’s would be coming for brunch, too, and Blaine had bought a mountain of presents for Anna.

Kurt rolled his eyes when Blaine arranged them all under the Christmas tree, but didn’t notice a small blue box nestled underneath, with a tag that said KURT.

Before long, their guests started to arrive. Anna squealed when she saw all the presents awaiting her, and made a beeline for the tree.

“No, no, poppet,” Jesse chuckled, sweeping her up into his arms, “wait until everyone’s here!”

Half an hour later, the living was strewn with wrapping paper, and still Anna was gleefully running to and from the tree handing people presents and tearing open her own.

And then, there was only one left, small and half hidden under a branch.

Anna spotted it, though, and brought it to her father. “For me?”

“No, poppet, this one’s for Uncle Kurt.”

Anna handed it over to Kurt with a pout.

“Thank you, sweetie,” Kurt said absently, fiddling with the One Plus Watch his parents had given him and not really looking at the present he’d been handed.

A throat clearing made him look up, and what he saw took his breath away.

Blaine had plucked the little box from Kurt’s hands, opened it and was now holding it out to him, on one knee and smiling tremulously.

“Kurt… You were my Christmas miracle seven years ago, welcoming me into your family when mine dropped the ball. I felt at home with you from the minute we met. It was as if I remembered you from another life, and always knew that we belonged together, you and me. And I’ve been wanting to ask you this for ages, but I wanted to respect your choice to wait until we were both 25 and established in our careers. You probably still don’t feel old and wise enough to make this decision, but sweetheart, just look into your heart. Can you see me there, next to you, for the rest of our lives?”

Kurt, his hand over his mouth and a tear trickling from his eye, nodded.

Blaine beamed up at Kurt. “Then I’m going to finally make this official. Kurt Hummel, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”

Kurt, full-out crying now, nodded again. “Yes. Yes! Yes!”

Blaine slipped the ring on Kurt’s finger and kissed him thoroughly. Around them, there were cheers and applause, but Kurt and Blaine didn’t notice.

When they came up for air, Blaine whispered, “Best. Christmas. Ever!”

Kurt giggled. “You say that every year.”

“And every year, it’s true.”

Kurt and Blaine accepted a glass of champagne from Jesse, and toasted to their future happiness with their family and friends.

And Kurt knew Blaine was right. There was not a shadow of a doubt in his head or his heart that the two of them were going to make it.

“Merry Christmas, Blaine. Here’s to many more!”

“And each one better than the last. Merry Christmas, everyone!”

THE END

[whyiask]

HAPPY NEW YEAR

There are so many people I’ve met on this site, so many friends I’ve made. I joined tumblr only a few months ago, but my life has already drastically improved. I smile more and laugh more and I feel happier all the time, knowing that you all are just a click away. I’ve often heard people refer to tumblr as a hellsite, but I don’t fully agree with that. True, some things on here are crazy, but more than that, I’ve found people like me. I’ve found people who understand me, who think like me and feel like I do. Ya know, before I joined tumblr, I had never met another bisexual person(crazy, right?). Y’all have made life more enjoyable and happier and brighter, and for that, I’ll never be able to thank you enough.

I have soooo many people I have to thank, so I’ll try to keep the list of people as short as possible: all my closest friends and all the people who have been amazing and I have loved seeing since I joined tumblr earlier this year <33

@one-neat-nerd you were the first blog to ever follow me, and I don’t remember if you were the first blog I followed, but you definitely were in the first 10. You were a wonderful introduction to tumblr, and I love everything you post/reblog. We’ve never really talked, but I still want you to know that I appreciate you.

@warblerjeff you’ve changed your url more than 3 times since I first followed you, and it always takes me a second to recognize you aha! But when I do, I’m immediately have a rush of happy memories- all your Glee posts and all of the Glee content I get from you. We’ve never really talked, but seeing you on my dash is always so amazing.

@jesussavedevenme aha hi! We’ve never really talked, but you were one of the first few blogs I followed when I first joined tumblr, and I know I tagged you in a lot of stuff at first (because i didn’t have any other friends lmao), so sorry about that! 😅 You’re really cool and I hope you have an amazing 2021.

@strawberry-seraph we haven’t talked in a while, sorry about that! Talking with you is always super fun, you’re a fun person and I hope your having a great day! You were one of the first TLC blogs I followed and you were definitely the first actual friend I had on tumblr. Thanks for being so nice to me <33

@cerenoya Ceren... where to begin. We haven’t talked a whole lot, but you are such an amazing friend and super kind when we do! You were my first tumblr idol for so long, because I aspired to be like you/run a blog as cool as yours!! Have a great 2021, you deserve it.

@cindersnightmare I felt very distant from you when I first followed you. You were just so COOL and your artwork was so GOOD, I didn’t know how to approach or even begin to express my love for your work. When you followed me back, I tell you, I was s h o o k. We’ve never talked, but I consider you a friend, is that okay? You’re amazing, keep being amazing <33

@books-and-starss oh gosh- I don’t even know where to begin with you! I love you so much, first of all!! So, so much. I love talking with you, you’re really sweet and ahhhh your writing is SO GOOD!!!! You are a great beta reader and so eager to help me- it just warms my heart that you would offer up your time to help me. Everything you reblog is so positive and encouraging and awesome, it’s so nice to see that kind of stuff on my dash. All the aesthetic pictures you reblog are super cool and pleasing to look at. I absolutely ADORE seeing you on my dash every day. <33333

@dylxn-lee aha hello there!! I first met you because you were one of Abi’s friends, but now I’m in your fanclub and ilysm. You’re really cool and nice and deserve to have a wonderful year <333

@theaberrantone ahaha for so long I pronounced your name wrong in my head- I just want you to know... I see you. I see you every day, liking every single one of my posts. I see you in my notifs many times a day and I just- wow. It means so much to me, I am honestly so touched that someone as cool as you takes the time to scroll through my mess of a blog and like the things I slap into it. You’re amazing and someday I aspire to be as cool as you <333333

@mochiowo-20 hi there :333 ilysm, and we haven’t talked for a few weeks, and I haven’t gone through your blog in a while, but I STILL LOVE YOU SO MUCH. You are amazing and ily. Your so sweet and cool and ahhhh you deserve to have the most wonderful 2021 ever. (i love your blog aesthetic btw) <333

@teawithhoneyharper I know you’re taking a break from tumblr for a while, but if you do see this, then I want you to know that I care about you so much. I love you Darcy, and you are amazing. I hope your mental health is getting better and I hope life has been better to you <33 ilysm, take care of yourself, and have a wonderful new year <333

@fablehavenfandom hi there friend!! Your posts are amazing!! I love your writing so much!!! and all your headcanons are beautiful and I 100% think of them as canon now. I hope you’re having a great day, and I hope you have a great year <33

@fairiesandstarlight omG your posts are all so cool! You’ve got a beautiful blog aesthetic and I love everything you post!! I hope you’re having a wonderful new year love <333 wishing you the best

@maya-livingstone hi there!! you’re a very, very new mutual, but I hope we’ll be able to get to know each other and become friends over the course of this new year!! I also just got the Renegades series, and I’ve noticed you like that, so hopefully we’ll be able to talk about that soon!!

@pluckycluckyducky hi plucky!! It’s Joy from the nevermoor server. we haven’t interacted on here very much, but you’re really cool and you should know it. have a wonderful 2021 <33

@fablehavenandfandomsfanatic hi there!! you had to break for a while, but you’re back now and I love all of the things you post! Have a great year <3

@fablehavenfangirl you’re really cool! Everything you post/reblog is great and I enjoy just scrolling through your blog when I’m bored. You’re amazing, keep being amazing <3

@renegadenebulahufflepuff heyyyy! how are you doing? you’re amazing, we haven’t talked much but you’re really cool and I am wishing you only the best for 2021 <333

@bookishfangirl14 hey there!! I love seeing you in my notifs!! we don’t have very many overlapping fandoms at the moment, but you’re still really cool and I love looking at your blog (even if i don’t understand most of the posts). aha, i hope you have a wonderful new year <33

@introvertedtater-tot hii! we don’t talk much, despite having a LOT of overlapping fandoms, and I don’t know why. Let’s fix that this year, shall we? I hope I can get to know you more, you’re amazing and sweet and i hope we can build up a solid friendship in the coming months <33

@devils-on-a-stereo oh my GOD. Okay, honestly? I am still s h o o k that you actually follow me, I mean, c’mon. Your art is literally the coolest thing ever, and I am honored to know you. You deserve way more attention as an artist than you have, and honest to god you are the coolest most  i c o n i c  blog I know. Stay awesome ;)

@its-liiinh-cinder-official heyyy there!! You are literally a top-notch comedian, I aDORE all of your ‘linh cinder’s random posts’. They are hilarious and your stories are hilarious, and you seem like such an amazing and chaotic person. I wish i knew you in real life, you would be so fun to hang out with. i love seeing you on my dash every day, and you’ve got such a v i b e going on. Have a beautiful, wondrous, and magical 2021 darling <333333

@just-another-freaking-dreamer it’s so awesome to see you in my notifs all the time. You’re really cool and you deserve cool things. Have a wonderful new year and I hope we can become better friends and interact more <3

@ragingbisexualcore ahhaahah you are the single most chaotic person I know. If you lived in a book, you would FOR SURE be that one character who is dead set on overthrowing the government and cackling madly as you take over the world. You are amazing and I hope you take your chaotic self and go wild in 2021.

@queenofsassgard hey there!! I hope you know that occasionally I just go scrolling through your archives and liking everything- anyways, you’re amazing and I hope you have a wonderful new year!

@elysian-starbucks-frappe heyo! what’s up? I hope you’re doing great, you deserve to do great. You’re super cool and amazing and ahhhhh you just deserve to have a wonderful 2021. ily and have a great year <33

@as-the-stars-foretold Caelum. You. Are. Fantabulous. You are my mother, you adopted me into this weird, chaotic friend group, and I will be eternally grateful. You love the stars and I love listening to you ramble about them in the server. You’re so passionate and strong and I love that about you. Life wouldn’t be the same without you. You might love stars, but you yourself ARE a star. You are a star, you shine brilliantly, and you are too good for this galaxy. We don’t deserve you. I love you so much, and you deserve every single goddamb good thing in this universe. You’re always there, ever present, and I love you so. much. Please stay your fantabulous self and I wishing on every star I see that you will have the best 2021 ever <333333

@carolinelikesdinner Carol. God, I have so much to say to you. First of all, thank you. Thank you so much for being you. You first introduced me into the big wide world of the Fablehaven fandom, and ilysm. You’re so cool, too cool for me, and I treasure every single conversation I have with you. You’re so funny and an amazing artist. All of your art is SO DAMB SPECTACULAR. You are gorgeous, your art is gorgeous, and your writing is gorgeous too. Take care of yourself love, stay safe, and have the best 2021 you possibly can <3333333333333

@operation-crown-jewels Caraaaaaaaaa ilysmmmm <3333333333333 I love talking with you and I love you so. freaking. much. I can’t even- I can’t even describe how much i love you. You are so special and sweet and supportive and I just can’t- you have NO IDEA how much that means to me, how much all your little comments mean to me. You are amazing, and special, and ahhhhh. You are SO special. So unique. And I’ll never find another friend like you <33333333333

@addies-invisible-life hey emma :3 You are actually the coolest person I know.You are so capable and smart and beautiful. You are kind and supportive and you are open to everyone who talks to you. You love with all your heart, and I love that about you. In everything you do, I can see the love behind it, the work and effort and love that you put into it. Every conversation I have with you lifts me up and energizes me(which is really rare because most conversations tire me). I still, after all this time, still can’t believe that a person as amazing as you even chooses to be friends with me. I love you so much and I will never stop loving you. You deserve the world, but I can’t give you that, so just take my reassurances that I will ALWAYS, NO MATTER WHAT, be here for you. ily and have a wonderful 2021 <3333333333333333333333333333333333333

@arushahisatroll my god. Ru, I love you so much. You are my internet girlfriend and I care about you so much. You are incredible, honestly. Your art is immaculate and you’re always so cheerful and fill me up with energy just THINKING about you. you always eager to commit arson, which is a very good trait, and I love plotting crimes with you. Every time I see your icon, my face lights up and I internally scream, bc “oh my god someone as perfect as ru exists in this world- i didn’t know that was possible.” You are the best, you are the absolute best, my bestie, and ily. Have a spectacular and immeasurably awesome 2021 <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

@starry-tea-party Abina. Abina you are my rock. You are my light, my star, my sunshine, my galaxy. I love you so much, I can’t even begin to describe it. I don’t know if I can do justice to just how much you’ve helped me. Words... words have never been my strong suit. I love writing because I can weave stories together, piece together words I like to form sentences, and use those sentences to form narratives. Writing has always been easier for me than talking.... because in writing, I don’t have to worry what others will think, or how others will perceive me. I select the best words, and I present those words- the words I meticulously chose and nit-picked- to the audience. Life is a stage, and I have never been great at improv. I often find it hard to tell people things, to convey my meaning in the best possible way and to know exactly what words I need in any given situation. Talking is hard for me. But with you... with you, I never have to monitor what I’m saying. I never feel the need to reread and reread my messages before sending to make sure everything is in perfect order. It’s... it’s easy to talk to you. It’s easy to speak and I don’t worry when I’m with you. You make me feel so at ease, and I love you so much. I don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing, because I know that you’ll always support me and be by my side with a kind word and a heart of gold. Because that’s who you are. You are a creator, a dreamer, a lover, a visionary. You’re a friend. You are the hand that pulls people out of the water. The light that shines the pathway. You are the rock- the mountain we stand upon and look out over the beautiful sea. We look down at the seas below us and say, “how have we climbed so high already?” The reason is because you stand so tall, so bright and so magical, that we climb, we climb and we look out at the world below us. Not only are you tall, strong, powerful, but you lift people up right alongside you. There is nothing like the high of seeing the world stretch out beneath your feet, swinging you legs through the open air but knowing you’ll never fall. You represent that high in my mind. You represent and you remind me of the exhilaration of feeling untouchable- uplifted by love and kindness, able to reach heights you’ve never been to before. There is so much that can come when someone extends their hand to you. So much more can be achieved when there are two, holding each other up. You have held me up for so long. Every since we met, you have brought a smile to my face at the thought of you. Every time I think of you, my heart swells and I can’t breathe. Every comment you make or put on something I post has me screaming internally ans smiling uncontrollably. Whenever I see your icon I know my day is about to get one million times better. So thank you, Abi. For being my rock.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

[dropintomanga]

11 Years of Manga Therapy

Today, this blog is 11 years old. And it all feels like the past year went by so suddenly despite a pandemic that’s shut off almost everything.

Given that everything was at such a standstill, a good number of my thoughts from the blog when it turned 10 still stand. I will talk about a few new things that came to my mind recently and over the past year.

COVID-19 sucks. I have a lot of compassion for those who are just trying to survive. I’m sick of this need to be productive for the sake of being productive during a time where life isn’t normal at all. A lot of people have no outside help for basic needs. I find myself to be very fortunate and I owe that to the support systems in my life. I wish they had what I have.

I don’t know how I found the need to blog for this long even when it’s okay to just stop. But after the little rant I wrote a couple of days ago, I find that social media is too transient for what I really want to say. It’s platforms like Tumblr/WordPress that provide outlets for more concise thoughts. I still love manga and there’s always fascinating titles/stories (like My Broken Mariko pictured above) that can mostly be told via manga waiting to be explored.

What else? I got a PlayStation 4 last year and finally saw for myself the renewed popularity of Japanese video games post-2016. The PS3 era disappointed me and got me away from gaming. I’m excited to see where Japanese games go from here after playing through various games since my console purchase.

Plus playing a bunch of Yakuza (I played through Yakuza 0, Judgment, and Yakuza: Like a Dragon) games got me into riichi mahjong. It all started from doing a mandatory mahjong side-quest in Judgment to unlock the chance to fight the game’s superboss that got me into it. I couldn’t get mahjong at first, but I had help from my parents who played mahjong their whole lives despite regional rule differences. I struggled at mahjong for a while until I decided to try it again in Yakuza: Like a Dragon after I finished the main story. I’ve been hooked ever since after taking the time to understand the rules and how to properly win. I now read riichi mahjong books and want to start playing more Mahjong Soul (a gacha-style mahjong game with cute anime characters). Once the pandemic is finally over, I think I’ll try going to a local riichi mahjong club near me and see what it’s like offline.

What I like about mahjong is that the game is a metaphor for life. My dad sent me a video of Julia Roberts talking about her love of mahjong. She said that mahjong is like sorting your life out of chaos. I find that to be strikingly true. A big part of learning mahjong is WWYD (What would you discard?) as you need to draw tiles to make a winning combination and throw away ones that won’t help you win. Yet while certain tiles will help you win, there are times where you need to throw out tiles that are considered to be safe in order to not lose big. In various points in life, there’s things you need to toss away in order to become better and/or safer. To be honest, we’re not always perfect at what to throw away. I feel the complexities of mahjong is good practice for me in understanding that not everything’s going to go our way even if we’ve done a lot of good for the world.

Finally, I’m starting to embrace myself as a non-binary thinker. I support important cultural movements and find them necessary. Yet I know there are always voices still being shut out despite good intentions and alternatives. It’s disrespectful to believe that everyone all happily agrees with one another when that’s not really the case. I don’t think we truly listen enough to each other and try to shout so much about how important this and that are without considering that some things are helpful for some people while some aren’t.

Empathy isn’t enough. You can understand someone’s suffering, but it doesn’t mean that you’re willing to sit with them through it. I think the person who’s suffering wants compassion more than just empathy. I want people to see there’s power in knowing uncomfortable truths in everything.

Of course, I’m not sure there’s room for someone like me up in a world of absolutes. It’s fine. I relish where I’m at and I now know that I’m not alone in my thinking. I’m also thinking about changing the name of this blog because truth be told, I’m not sure the name “Manga Therapy” is right anymore because I’m not a licensed mental health professional. I’m more on an peer/advocate level. I know some of you may disagree, but calling myself “therapy” feels like an insult to the mental health profession and does disservice to anyone with serious mental illness that doesn’t have the luxury to enjoy the privileges (i.e. reading manga as a way to process emotions) that most of us have.

That’s about it. Thanks for reading and following me this past year (or longer)! I just want you all to survive somehow this year. Nothing more.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Slippin’ Mickeys

Only 3 stories by Slippin’ Mickeys ended up at Gossamer, but she’s written many more stories than that. She’s also one of the few authors who posted numerous stories during the show’s original run and then again in the revival years. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here, including Last Chance Falls and Currahee. Big thanks to Slippin’ Mickeys for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I would say that it does and doesn't surprise me. It surprises me that anyone would want to read something I wrote all those years ago, (only in that I was an actual teenager at the time, and had no chops at all -- I've grown a lot as a writer, and honestly have trouble reading my old stuff because I would have made much different creative decisions now). But the fanfiction that came out of the original run of the show -- from almost day one -- was so rich and varied and a lot of it so well written that I am not the least bit surprised that people want to read it today. I go back and read old favorites often, and am always thrilled to find something that's new-to-me, even if it's 27 years old.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

The first thing I think about when I think about my fandom experience are the friends I made along the way. The X-Files came up with the internet, and there was a whole new way of connecting with people that liked the things that you liked. To this day, I am good friends with many people that I met through the show back in 1997-98. When the revival came about, I dove back in, and made new, more recent friendships that are just as rich. I love the show, but I also love the people I met along the way.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I first got into the show's online community on some random message board that I think I probably found through a Yahoo search one day in a computer lab on my university's campus. I connected with one woman from Greece named Fay that day, who invited me to join a group of women that chatted about the show after it aired on Monday nights. After the first time I hooked up with them, we talked almost daily via ICQ. Later, in the early aughts, I found the forums on Mighty Big TV/Television Without Pity, where some of the most intelligent discussion was going on. The forums were heavily moderated, and so they were always on topic, and it was just a smart, funny, great place to be.

Eventually, I started working for TWoP as both a writer and moderator (surprise! A lot of people don't know this because TWoP protected the identities of their mods so well, but I was the X-Files board mod after Jessica left!). It was my first paid writing gig and opened doors for me both professionally and personally. Two TWoP recappers were in my wedding!

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Fanfiction opened my eyes to storytelling as a medium. I'd obviously gone to school and read books, but it opened my eyes to words to could do and be. It was a heady time. There were stories of every stripe. Short, long, canon-compliant, AU, experimental, you name it. We had such gifted writers, too. To this day, I'd almost rather read a piece of well written fanfic than a good book. Fanfic made me want to be a storyteller myself.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

It was the 'ship. God bless the ship. My first episode was Never Again, but I didn't watch again until I was sitting with my college roommate freshman year and she was like "sorry, but I have to watch The X-Files on Sunday nights." That first episode was Redux. The next week was Redux II, and by then it was all over for me. The lengths Mulder and Scully would go to for each other? And the relationship wasn't even sexual? Here were two people who loved each other. Really loved each other. Selflessly. I was SO IN.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

At first, I started reading it. This was back when you could only watch the show in reruns or on those VHS tapes that were sold in three packs that had two eps on each tape (I still have the trading cards that came with them), so after I burned through the VHS options (of which there were few), and set my VCR to tape the weekly reruns on FX, I needed MORE. I found fanfic. And in fanfic, Mulder and Scully actually like, kissed and maybe even had sex! I read everything I could get my hands on. Pretty soon, I wanted to write it myself.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Things are tough these days. It's a hard world to live in, and politics aside, it just feels like everything is falling apart around us. When I first found the show, my life was in a bit of upheaval and I dove into the fandom to distract myself. I'm doing the same thing these days. When the show ended, I left the fandom and lived without it for about 15 years. But when the revival came (and really only after finishing season 11 -- season 10 didn't do much for me), I dove back in. I have quite a few more responsibilities these days, but when I can't watch the news anymore, I log on to XF Twitter (I use my fandom account far more than my IRL account) or Tumblr and get lost for a while. And most nights find me reading or writing fanfic before bed. When the world gets better (I'm cautiously optimistic) and the show has been off the air for years and years, will I leave again? Maybe. But for now, it's once again my happy place.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Nothing hardcore. The X-Files is my ride or die.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I do an occasional episode or movie rewatch. Not too often, but when I'm jonesing and have 45 free minutes, I'll put one on. But I'm writing fanfic again, and I get hit with inspiration at random and odd intervals, so it's safe to say I find myself thinking about Mulder and Scully probably more than is healthy.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

All the time. The old stuff, the new stuff, the good stuff. If I have five minutes and my kid is entertaining himself? I'll happy pull out an old favorite.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I'm reluctantly abstaining from this question, as I'm still active in the fandom and I know that naming favorites will hurt some feelings.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Of The Eight Winds is probably my favorite. I've had a lot of fun writing AU's lately. It's a nice creative outlet, taking our favorite agents and plunking them in a totally different world.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Do I! I have a whole ass queue. It's frankly irresponsible.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I was writing professionally before I had a baby, and I took years off to be a stay at home mom. Once my kiddo was finally in school full time, I started writing again. With the pandemic, that's for the most part on hold, as I just don't have the bandwidth to dedicate to professional work. Fanfic is easier to play with when you only have five minutes here or there, and it's also great exercise when it comes to plotting and prose, so I'm  sticking with fic for now. When the kiddos are all back in school, maybe I can start getting paid again.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I get a lot of prompts that I just adore. And honestly, a lot of times, I'll post a stupid picture or ridiculous prompt of my own on Twitter and get dared to write it. If the idea gets stuck in my craw, I generally have to exorcise the demon.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Bad Blood had just aired and I was obsessed with it. I wanted to pay homage to it, so took Mulder's "who slipped him the mickey?" quote and ran with it. Do I regret that? Sometimes.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My husband knows and is supportive. He's a working writer, so he supports my endeavors, though I know he wishes I were doing something I could monetize. But it makes me happy, and ultimately: happy wife, happy life and all that jazz.

The friends of mine that I've made through the fandom all know and are super supportive.

As for the rest, well... I have a nom de plume on purpose!

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

All my newest work is on AO3. My old stuff can be found on various archives. Like the truth... it's out there.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I'd leave it with: we're a blessed fandom. The show we stan (even with the real stinkers, there's always something to love) keeps giving, the fellow fans are all some of the smartest, sweetest, and most dedicated people out there... we've been blessed for 25 years, and I don't see that stopping any time soon.

(Posted by Lilydale on August 11, 2020)