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xmxisxforxmaybe · 5 years

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Decryption_Error: “Fourth of July, Part II”

Summary: Despite Elliot’s reservations about meeting Y/N’s family, the long weekend goes well . . . except for an incident that causes Y/N to unknowingly meet Mr. Robot for the first time.

Story Summary, “The Server Room, Part I”, “The Server Room, Part II” “The Long Weekend, Part I”, “The Long Weekend, Part II”, “The Aftermath”, “Undecided”, **“Decided”, “Spooked”, **“Fourth of July, Part I”

Word Count: 9800

Tags: @sherlollydramoine @rami-malek-trash @teamwolf2411 @limabein @txmel @alottanothing @ouatlovr @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @moon-stars-soul @free-rami @ramimedley

If you want added or I’ve missed your request, let me know : )

A/N: I am actively pretending the Elliot of MR Season 4 is an illusion : ) Let me live in my fantasy of soft Elliot, thanks!

Warning: Sexual content, non-descriptive mentions of blood, somewhat descriptive scene of an anxiety/panic attack

* Wednesday Evening *

“Open the bag behind my seat.”

Elliot shifted in his seat and reached into the back. He pulled the black shopping bag up to his lap and rustled around.

I glanced over at him, smirking.

“How do you like them?”

Elliot sighed, and despite his anxiousness about meeting my family, I knew he was happy—and happy was something that was starting to look damn good on him.

Elliot put his new swim trunks back in the bag and returned it to its spot behind my seat. He reached over and gave my thigh a quick squeeze before he leaned back, resting his head against his seat.

I had never imagined that such a simple gesture of affection could set my heart racing, but that was how it went with Elliot. There were never going to be any grandiose displays of romance; with him, it would always be about the little things—remembering my favorite food or movie, knowing how I took my tea in the morning, going on a holiday despite a sometimes crippling social anxiety.

And as if on cue, Elliot’s voice sounded, just a hair louder than the radio.

“Can you tell me what to expect again?”

Even though this was the third time I was about to explain what to expect, I still smiled. I knew this was an important part of Elliot’s attempt to alleviate his apprehension.

“ETA is currently clocked at 7:28 pm. Kathleen and Josh, my oldest sister and her husband, along with their three children—do you want their names again?”

“Jack, Jared, and Molly—10, 8, and 3.”

“I’m pretty sure those are the right ages. I told you—I’m a shit aunt,” I said through a laugh.

“Erin and Ryan will get there last.”

“Yes. Erin’s going to be late for her own wedding—mark my words. I wish my parents would worry about her more than me.”

“But they don’t worry because she’s a lawyer which is a job they understand. Unlike tech,” Elliot finished.

“See? You’ve got it all figured out. Just remember not to say any of those insights of yours out loud.”

“I’ll try.”

“And Charlie—Char’s coming tomorrow. He’s the owner of the sweatpants I put you in over Memorial Day.”

“He’s your favorite.”

I glanced at Elliot, my face twisted into an expression of surprised amusement.

“I never said that.”

“You don’t have to. It’s in the way you talk about him—how protective you are. I feel that way about Darlene.”

“But she’s your only sibling, right?”

“Yes.”

“So it’s totally okay that she’s your favorite,” I said with a slight chuckle. “Anyway, Charlie and I are closer in age, so that’s one reason why I think we’ve always gotten along the best. The other is that Erin and Kathleen are a lot like my mom. My brother and I are much more like my dad.”

“Mom. Valerie, goes by Val, but I’ll stick to calling her Mrs. Y/L/N.”

“And Dad?”

“Charles Y/L/N. Owner of CNC Precision Machining, host company of the company I work for, and ranked number 348 on the Forbes 400 list.”

“Please don’t open with that,” I said, cringing. “I guarantee he doesn’t even know he’s on that damn list.”

“How can he not?”

“He’s got people to worry about and organize those things, not to mention he plans to dump half of what the company made this year into three new factories right here in the US, so that will cut his personal ‘net worth’ almost in half. My father has never forgotten that Grand-daddy could barely afford to feed his own family. His priority is and always will be job creation. I promise you, Elliot. He’s a good person.”

“I don’t know how you can be so flippant about the fact that you really don’t ever need to work. You could do anything you wanted with your life—anything.”

“Colin? Is that you? Did you takeover Elliot’s body?”

I could feel Elliot roll his eyes, and I smirked.

“It’s—”

“It’s my father’s money. Sure, I could live off of our family’s wealth, but then what would my purpose be? How could I ever, ever hope to keep all these guys quiet in here?” I asked, tapping the side of my head. You, of all people, should understand that.”

“I do. And don’t think I’ve forgotten we’ve talked about this before,” Elliot said as his way of apologizing. “I’m just nervous.”

“When are you not nervous?”

“An excellent question for which there is no answer,” Elliot said, and I could hear the smile as he formed his words.

We pulled into the drive of my parents’ waterfront house, and I snuck a glance at Elliot. He was looking out the window, craning to take in the property. I loved this house and always felt at peace along the bay. It was disappointing I hadn’t been out here, really out here, for such a long time.

I pulled in slightly behind my sister’s vehicle onto the cobblestoned driveway in the back of the house that made a loop, and when I shut the car off, I lamely said, “Well, we’re here!”

Elliot whipped his head over, almost as if he’d forgotten I was in the car. He looked pale, and his eyes were wide and skittish. He swallowed twice, and I watched his Adam’s apple bob.

“Should I have dressed up?” Elliot said, his voice fading in and out.

I laughed softly.

“Did I dress up?”

“You always look good. Nice,” Elliot mumbled as he glanced at the house again.

“Especially when I’m naked. In bed. With you,” I said with a teasing grin.

“Fuck, Y/N!” Elliot shot out. “You can’t talk like that here.”

He gestured so vigorously toward the house that his hand smacked off the window, causing me to giggle.

“I’m just trying to get you to relax.”

“Thinking about us, about you, like that is not fucking helping.”

“Sorry. It’s getting hot in here without the air conditioning, though. Are you ready?”

Elliot just looked at me.

“You are ready. Remember, they wanted to meet you. I’m not springing some strange hobo I picked up off the side of the road on them.”

“Fuck. Yeah. Okay. Let’s go,” Elliot said opening the car door.

I smiled at his resolve, but my grin fell as my nephews came barreling around the wrap-around porch to see whether it was me or Erin who had arrived.

“Aunt Y/N!” Jared yelled as he hit his older brother, Jack, with the pool noodle he was swinging. “Will you swim with us? Please!”

“Am I going to get hit with that noodle?”

“Probably not,” Jared said, a grin plastered over his face, water droplets from his sopping hair still trailing down his tanned face.

“Hello,” Jack said, turning to look at Elliot, straightening up to his fullest height and extending his hand.

Elliot looked at him for a moment before he reached out and shook Jack’s extended, damp hand.

“Hello.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Jack finished before turning to me. “Can I help you take anything into the house?”

I smiled. Jack was every bit his mother’s son: well-mannered, mature, and wise beyond his years, but his eyes still held a child’s innocence, and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt for not spending more time with him and his siblings.

“What a kind gesture, Jack, but do you really want to watch Mimi go apoplectic on the first day of the holiday when you go trampling, soaking wet through the front door?”

“What’s apopple-tic?” Jared asked, wrapping his pool noodle around his waist and swinging side to side.

I looked at Jack and raised my eyebrow.

“Crazy mad,” he said in answer to his brother. “Like how mom got when you put her iPad in the dishwasher.”

Jared shot his brother a murderous look and pulled back to hit him with the noodle.

“Go swim, boys. I promise we’ll come out as soon we’re settled.”

“Dad said we could play with our fireworks tonight!” Jared said before he turned and ran back up the porch stairs and around to the pool.

Jack grinned, shrugged his shoulders, and took off after his brother.

“Two down,” I said as I pulled my bag out of the car.

“They’re kids. Do they even count?”

“I think they do,” I said with a slight shrug of my shoulders.

Elliot gave me one of those half-smiles as he lifted my bag out of my hand and reached for his. I let him carry our bags, and I walked back around to the back seat to grab my purse, my work tote, and the shopping bag that contained Elliot’s swim trunks. I didn’t want to do any work over the weekend, but if there was an emergency, hopefully this time it could be solved remotely. Elliot had also brought his backpack, which made me feel a little better.

Elliot followed me up the porch stairs and through the front door. I led him up the center staircase and to the left, all the way to the end of the hall. I opened up the door to my room and set my work bag and shopping bag on one of the striped chairs near the wall. I tossed my purse onto the bed and directed Elliot to set our big bags in the walk-in closet.

When Elliot emerged, he looked around the room and walked over to the French doors that led out onto a small balcony that overlooked the bay. It looked like he was on a military mission to memorize his surroundings in the event of an emergency, so I left him alone as he acclimated.

My room was light and breezy, done in hues of blues with accents of white and coral. Elliot looked comically out of place, clad head to toe in black, standing between the sheer white and blue curtains.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” I finally said when Elliot sought out my eyes, his looking a startlingly, lovely shade of blue in the light of my room.

I couldn’t tell what was going through his mind, his face expressionless as he looked at me. I moved forward, waiting to see if he’d turn into my body or step away.

He stood still for a moment, before he turned to me, tentatively wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I sank into him, breathing him in.

“Thank you for doing this,” I whispered against his neck.

“Don’t thank me yet. I still have a few days to make you regret bringing me.”

“Stop,” I said pulling back to look at him. “Nothing is going to make me regret bringing you here.”

“Why do you have so much faith in me?”

Because I’m in love with you, I thought without hesitation, which was followed by a sheer bolt of panic that I immediately swallowed down.

Fuck.

“I just do,” I said, smiling and angling my face up for a kiss.

Elliot bent his head, kissing me sweetly in the still-bright light of the fading day, and I felt yet another jolt of shock at how incredibly right this felt, how easy.

After unpacking a few things and plugging my phone in to charge, we went downstairs and headed out to the pool. I took Elliot’s hand in mine as we walked across the porch and down the sidewalk and stairs to the stone encased pool that was being energetically occupied by my nephews, my niece, my dad, and my sister.

Elliot tightened his grip, and I gave him a reassuring squeeze back.

“Kathleen! Your sister’s here!” my mom yelled, waving at me and then at the pool.

“Hi, mom,” I said, releasing Elliot’s hand so I could give her a hug.

“This is Elliot,” I said as soon as I let go.

“Elliot,” my mom said, extending her hand. “Such a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Don’t be dramatic, mom.”

“Nonsense. We’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to put such a handsome face to Y/N’s words.”

“Uh, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Y/L/N.”

“Oh, please. Call me Val.”

Elliot gave her a sheepish smile and ran his hand through his hair, his eyes taking in the swimming pool, the bar, and the pool house.

“Hey! You said you’d swim with us!” Jared shouted as he leapt up from the water and ran over to me.

“I said no such thing because you did not promise I wouldn’t get hit with a pool noodle.”

Jared scowled a bit at me, and I grabbed him up, bridal style and tossed him back in the pool. He came up grinning, and I had to jump back as he aimed a splash at me.

“You asked for it,” my sister said as she swam to the edge, gracefully pulling herself up to sit. “Toss me my towel.”

I rolled my eyes and retrieved the towel she had pointed at. Kathleen, the prettiest and the bossiest.

“Hey, Y/N—how was the drive in?” came the pleasant voice of my brother-in-law, Josh.

“Not bad. Sat in the tunnel forever, but no surprise there,” I said, returning to Elliot who was standing with his hands in his pockets, looking like he had hoped everyone had forgotten he existed.

“Josh this is Elliot. Elliot, Josh, Kathleen’s husband.”

They shook hands, and I watched Elliot carefully, unsure if he was sort of comfortable with all the handshaking or if he was just internalizing the discomfort really well. I figured it was probably the latter.

Josh asked Elliot a few questions, and Elliot gave very direct answers.

“Save some of the interrogation for after dinner,” I said, returning to Elliot’s side.

“Small talk is—”

“Horrific and you know that,” I cut Josh off with an eyeroll. “You remember what it was like coming here for the first time to meet everyone.”

Josh tilted his head back and sighed, his eyes reflecting the light of the sun as it had begun lowering over the bay.

“The first time I met the family was at Christmas. It was a house full of, shit, 50 relatives? 60? I seriously considered just leaving and never coming back.”

“Leave me? Unlikely?” Kath said as she hugged Josh from behind, soaking his polo shirt as he reached up to grasp her hand and grin.

“The boss would never have allowed you to get away,” I said, rolling my eyes and smiling.

“Do you hear the way she talks to me, Elliot? It’s not too late for you to escape.”

I rolled my eyes again, only to be scolded by my mother.

“Honestly, Y/N. If I counted the number of times you rolled your eyes—”

“Come on,” I said, taking Elliot’s hand in mine and leading him toward the bar. “Let’s go play Cocktail a la Tom Cruise.”

Josh followed and Kathleen sat down to talk to our mom and to watch the kids in the pool. Elliot listened to Josh and I chat as I mixed up a few drinks and had the boys try them before settling on making a pitcher of something that tasted mostly like a Mai Tai.

By the time my pitcher of drinks was made, Dad had gotten out of the pool and toweled off before walking over to us. He introduced himself to Elliot and welcomed him to our home.

“We’re happy to meet you, Elliot.”

“Thank you, sir,” Elliot said, his eyes flicking to mine before returning to the ground in front of my dad.

Dad glanced at me and gave me a small smile. I told him how hard this was going to be for Elliot because he struggled with meeting people and with getting to know people in general—I explained that he was sort of the stereotype of the introverted tech guy. Not to mention, Dad knew all about the incident in the server room.

Josh picked up the pitcher and walked back to Kathleen and Mom, leaving my dad and I alone with Elliot. Dad sat down on the stool next to Elliot as I wiped my hands on a towel. I grabbed a beer from the fridge before I came out from behind the bar to give Dad a big hug.

“If you can keep her from working too much, Elliot, I’d greatly appreciate that,” Dad said, smiling at me and reaching for his beer.

Elliot looked up and glanced between the two of us, something about our interaction relaxing him. It wasn’t like with Kathleen or even with my mom—I loved my family, and they loved me, but there was something special about the way my dad and I understood each other.

“I’ll try after she settles into her new job. I don’t think even the threat of a nuclear holocaust could stop her until she feels like she owns that position.”

Dad laughed, and I looked at Elliot, my face twisted into a shocked smile.

“Hey now—I would stop if I knew the world was ending!”

“Would you, though, sweetheart?”

I narrowed my eyes at my dad, and he squished me to his side.

“You understand her,” Dad said to Elliot. “That’s the second of the many hurdles you have to jump before she’ll let you care about her.”

“Da-ad!”

“I’m not telling him anything he doesn’t already now,” Dad said as he took a long swig of his beer, eyeing Elliot to confirm what he already knew.

“What’s the first hurdle?” Elliot asked.

“You have to be interesting enough to catch her attention.”

“Oh my god, Dad,” I said as I returned to fetch my drink from behind the bar. “Can we not dive right into the depths of my psyche?”

“It’s better than small talk,” Dad retorted as Elliot gave a surprised laugh.

Dad smiled at Elliot and angled his beer toward him.

“To the death of small talk,” Dad said, and Elliot smiled as he clinked his glass with Dad’s bottle of beer.

Despite the fact that I was slightly embarrassed, I couldn’t stop the spread of my satisfied grin. That was what my dad did—he made people comfortable, even people like Elliot who couldn’t or wouldn’t show their true selves to a stranger.

“Charles, kids! Dinner’s ready,” Mom yelled as she motioned to the caterers who were setting up the picnic tables on the front lawn.

The three of us made our way to the front lawn, Elliot’s hand finding mine as soon as I was close to him.

Dinner was quite lovely despite the July heat, my mom having had a breezy tent set up around the picnic tables and tiki torches spread out to provide the double benefit of soft light and warding off insects.

The focus was mostly off of Elliot as we all chatted, catching up and quickly falling into easy conversation about family members, neighbors, and career events, including my promotion.

Erin and Ryan arrived just as the caterers cleared away the plates, Erin grabbing at some of the leftovers and giggling her way across the lawn.

All attention was diverted to her; she was one of those people that the eye and the ear were drawn to—charismatic and full of energy.

After meeting Elliot, Erin sat down next to me and leaned in to whisper, “As soon as the olds go to bed, we’re going starry swimming—will your cutie be interested?”

Starry swimming was code for getting high in the pool.

“Yes—he’ll be quite interested.”

Erin gave me a grin and shot a wink at Elliot, who raised his eyebrows in concern.

Leaning in close to his ear, I quietly said, “I’ll explain later.”

It was after midnight by the time I rummaged through my wardrobe, wondering which bikini might interest Elliot the most. I settled on a little yellow one that was fringed with ruffles, slipping on a pair of matching flipflops before walking out of the closet.

Elliot’s eyes were lit up by the screen of his phone until they flicked to me, then settled on me as his mouth dropped open a bit.

“Good choice?”

“Yeah,” he said softly.

“Who’s texting you?”

“Angela. She wanted me to go see her dad with her for the holiday. She thinks I’m lying.”

“Let’s send her a pic,” I said, grinning and plopping down next to Elliot.

“Uhhh—”

“She doesn’t know about me?”

“Not exactly.”

I looked at Elliot and shrugged my shoulders.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I just haven’t really had the chance to tell anyone—”

“In case we break up?”

Elliot frowned and looked away, his hands coming to rest on top of his head after he tossed his phone on the bed.

He sighed, “Are you mad I’m still waiting for the hammer to fall?”

“No—I’m mad because you haven’t put your swim trunks on yet,” I said as I poked the end of his nose. “Get changed.”

Elliot groaned and reluctantly slid out of bed, heading into the closet to change. When he emerged, he was in a black t-shirt and his new swim trunks, black, but dotted with white stars. His skinny legs looked comical and even paler than his arms and face.

“We need to get you some sun, hackerman.”

Elliot rolled his eyes, and I warned him that my mother had a sixth sense for eye-rolling—she was probably getting out of bed right at that moment to come and yell at him.

Elliot looked genuinely alarmed for a moment before he narrowed his eyes and told me to shut up.

I giggled and he huffed in an attempt to disguise his own, inadvertent laugh.

Erin and Ryan were already floating around in the pool by the time we got outside.

Despite their closeness, Erin was every bit Kathleen’s opposite. The starkest contrast was Erin’s inclination to disregard rules, even though she was a lawyer. My dad always said that was what actually made her so damn good at her job.

“Heeeey!” Erin yelled, swimming to the edge of the pool and hoisting herself out. “Come on, Ry—I’m ready to really start this party.”

Ryan chose to use the stairs at the shallow end of the pool, and he walked over to us as Erin tossed him a towel. Ryan wrapped the towel around his waist and headed to the bar.

“Let’s see the goods, Elliot. Strip!”

“Please ignore her,” I said, kicking at Erin. “She’s a complete slut.”

Erin corrected me as she wiggled her engagement ring in my direction.

“Excuse me. A former slut.”

I laughed and extended my hands to help pull her up. She pressed her wet body into mine before giggling and running over to the bar.

“The answer is yes—she’s the energetic one.”

Elliot just looked at me, then to Erin and Ryan.

As he followed me to the bar, Elliot quietly said, “You’re all so . . . affectionate.”

I stopped and turned around, looking at Elliot’s face.

“Well, Charlie’s not. He’s more reserved, kinda like you.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. You like each other.”

“Generally,” I said chuckling.

“Hey, Erin,” I called. “Remember that time we got in a fight over the last bag of chips?”

“Yeah—you sat on them and the bag exploded. Then you made ME clean it up!”

Erin and I laughed as Ryan and Elliot smiled, listening to us tease each other.

“You smoke?” Ryan asked Elliot as he finished rolling the joint.

“On occasion,” Elliot said, causing me to laugh again.

“My man,” Ryan said as he lit the join and offered it to Elliot first.

Erin, not be outdone, reached into the pouch on the bar and pulled out another joint, lighting it and taking a long drag before passing it to me.

“Selfish asshole,” I said as I exhaled in her face.

“Love you, sis!”

The haze of a high settled over us like the haze of the July night. Soon, we found ourselves in the pool, splashing and giggling and swimming and talking, Elliot’s lips loosened far more than usual.

Erin flirted with him unmercifully, as was her custom, and Elliot looked terrified at first, his eyes darting to me as he struggled to put distance between himself and her.

Ryan and I were both sitting in the shallow end, grinning in amusement, knowing she was only having fun. Erin would flirt with a tomato if she thought it might flirt back.

Once Elliot realized it was all in fun, Erin even managed to make him laugh out loud with one of the loudest sounds I had ever heard Elliot make. His laugh was carefree, and it melted my heart, drawing me to him like a siren’s song.

Erin splashed me in the face before she swam away.

“Having fun?” I said, grinning, my words feeling heavy and slow.

Elliot grew quiet and I could see his eyes burning to let his voice say yes.

“You don’t have to say it out loud,” I said smiling and sliding my hands to his hips, floating closer to him.

Elliot didn’t say that he was happy, but he reached out for my legs and wrapped them around his waist before leaning in to kiss me.

Our kiss was slow, steady, and deep, and it could’ve been the high, but I felt like the entire world melted away when Elliot’s mouth was on mine.

And before I knew it, we really were all alone in the pool. So, I returned to Elliot’s lips, kissing him and grinding against him under the stars, so high and so content.

* Thursday *

Elliot awoke with a jolt due to me staring intently at him, a grin plastered across my face. I was already dressed in a dark blue swimsuit underneath my white shorts and white lightweight, long-sleeve top.

“Do you get seasick?” I asked while dangling a bottle of water in front of his face.

Elliot blinked away the sleep as his mind struggled to figure out what I was talking about, and as his dry mouth from all the weed we smoked last night struggled to speak.

He took the bottle of water, took a long drink, and said, “I—I don’t think so?”

“Great! We’re going sailing with Charlie. I’ve already laid out an outfit,” I said gesturing to a pile of clothes that were laying across the bench at the foot of the bed.

Elliot lifted his head to look at the clothes, then sank back onto the bed.

“What else did you buy me?”

“Just a couple of non-black shirts so you don’t get heatstroke.”

“Stop buying me stuff.”

“You don’t really mind,” I said planting loud kisses across his jaw until he laughed and pushed me away.

“This weekend is going to fuck up my worldview for the rest of my life. Sailing,” Elliot huffed. “I’m a fucking hypocrite.”

“Hey—lots of people sail. They have Groupon deals all the time.”

“What the hell is a Groupon?”

“Something you will never, ever use,” I said with a chuckle. “I’ll see you downstairs in 15.”

I grabbed my tote from the bench and went downstairs to pack some light snacks. Charlie was already packing a cooler, and I knew he’d remember the booze and forget the food.

We chatted, mostly about the good weed he missed last night.

Elliot walked into the kitchen and I had to stop my mouth from dropping open. He was in the light grey shorts and the white t-shirt I laid out for him. He also opted for the black slip-on converses I tucked in his bag. I couldn’t believe I’d gotten Elliot this far from his jeans, tennis shoes, and hoodie.

He ran his hand nervously through his hair, pulling at the already straight strands.

“Charlie, this is Elliot. Elliot, my brother, Charlie.”

“Hey.”

“Hey. So, what do you say we get the hell outta here? I love Kat’s kids, but the thought of them on a sailboat—no fuckin’ way.”

“Mom and Dad know we’re taking the boat, right?”

“Leave a note? Be back before dinner.”

“Smart—we’ll avoid the pre-dinner, nothing is ready even though it is, drama.”

We each grabbed a bag or a cooler and walked out the back door toward our dock, the sun having risen only a few feet above the water. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day, only a few clouds surrounding the sun, casting a soft, golden light over the water.

I looked over at Elliot and smiled, his skin glowing golden with the warmth of the sun, a slight smile on his face as he took in the sunrise, the water, and the sailboat.

I leaned closer to him and whispered, “You’re happy—and it’s okay.”

“I think it’s just nerves. I’m so far out of my element I can’t do anything other than smile like an idiot.”

I laughed and Charlie looked back.

“Elliot’s never been sailing. He’s a little nervous.”

“You’re in good hands,” Charlie said, stepping back to allow us to get on the boat first. “I started taking Y/N sailing as soon as she was out of diapers—which took a lot longer than you’d think.”

“I swear to god, Charlie,” I said, shaking my head, and seeing Elliot smirk out of the corner of my eye.

“Do not let him think he’s funny—he’ll roast me all day if he thinks he has a proper audience.”

Elliot shrugged. “There’s nothing he could tell me that would make me think you aren’t perfect.”

“Dude. No. She can’t have hooked you that deep yet?”

“Pretty deep,” Elliot said, his eyes glancing at me.

Charlie made a noise of disgust, but I didn’t miss the soft smile. If I was happy, my brother was happy, and vice-versa. It was as simple as that for us. Charlie and I never had to worry about comparing ourselves to one another, never had to worry about that slight undercurrent of jealousy that stemmed from thinking that we were not enough like our sisters.

Sailing was a lot of work, so Charlie and I taught Elliot, who was eager to learn. We stopped for lunch at the Indian Harbor Yacht Club, and Elliot stuck to my side, clearly preferring the open air of the bay over the aristocratic charm of the club.

When we set sail again, Elliot didn’t need reminding about what to do and jumped into handling the rigging like he had been doing it for years.

I could tell Elliot liked Charlie, probably because he told such embarrassing stories about me, but more likely because Charlie was just like my dad—he made people feel at ease.

When we weren’t adjusting the sails or sharing stories, the three of us just sat in companionable silence, taking in the feel of the boat on the water, the warmth of the sun, the smell of the salt in the air, and the quiet solitude of the bay.

We got back just in time for dinner, which was a repeat of the previous night with the exception that we had Erin to entertain us. The early evening passed, full of laughter and stories, and I leaned back and smiled as Elliot took in all of our dynamics, occasionally leaning across the table to ask Charlie some more questions about sailing.

“Alright, family!” my mother announced. “Time for fireworks!”

We made our way toward the beach with our blankets, and once we got settled, Elliot looked over at me smiled—at least until he ended up with a lap full of toddler.

Molly and her brothers were playing, waving sparklers around and unleashing blacksnake fireworks, and she took off running only to trip over the edge of our blanket and fall right into Elliot’s lap.

“Gah!” came Elliot’s shocked response as he looked down at Molly, his expression one of pure horror until Molly twisted around to see what, or rather who, she landed on. She looked at Elliot and started giggling.

“Silly!” she exclaimed, patting him on the arm.

“You fell on me,” Elliot replied in his normal intonation just as the first firework shot up in the distance, startling me and Elliot, but not Molly.

When Molly felt Elliot start at the noise, she asked, “Do you need to sit on me?”

Elliot chuckled and looked at her with his grey eyes, a smile crinkling the skin in the corners.

“I’m okay, and thanks for asking. The first one always scares me a little.”

Molly smiled and shifted, turning around in Elliot’s lap to face the water and to lean back onto his chest, her hair snaggling just a bit in the slight stubble on his chin.

He looked over at me and I smiled, shrugged, and scooted closer to lean against his side.

Molly “ooo-ed” and “ahh-ed” as we watched the fireworks and Elliot kept sneaking glances at her as if he couldn’t believe she were still there. I suppose there was a quietness in Elliot that just appealed to Molly, and to the boys. He didn’t treat them like they were anything other than miniature people. Kids liked to know they were human, too. Liked to feel normal, something Elliot always seemed to recognize when it was a need in someone else.

I rested my head on Elliot’s shoulder, and I would be lying if I said the thought of a normal, disgustingly domestic future with a child of our own didn’t cross my mind. And when Elliot turned his head to breath in my hair before placing a kiss to the top of my head, I would be lying if said I didn’t believe he was thinking about it, too.

* Friday *

“Fuck,” I muttered, my mind barely awake as I scrolled through my phone.

Elliot was laid out next to me, soundly sleeping. I hated to wake him, but I had no choice.

I put my phone on the nightstand and rolled to face him, taking in the peaceful look on his face. The circles under his eyes were gone and his skin had started to take on a more golden hue. The sun had done him wonders, and I had to remind myself that I didn’t have time to get lost in the beauty of him at the moment.

I was away from work, so of course the world was on fire.

I moved in closer to Elliot and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, reaching up to run my fingers through his thick, messy hair.

Elliot stirred so I whispered, “Hey, El. Good morning.”

I could see Elliot’s eyes moving under his lids as he fought to wake up. His tongue darted out to wet his lips and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. He shifted, stretching a little before finally opening his eyes.

The immediate smile on his face as he registered me warmed my heart.

“Morning,” he rasped, sleep still clinging to his voice.

“I lied. It’s not a ‘good’ morning,” I said frowning.

Elliot’s eyes turned more alert, so I continued.

“Our IDS went off last night—well, early this morning. The reactive program set up before your time worked so the Source IP was blocked. They tried like hell to get in, and I want to know if this was an isolated incident or if they were after other companies, too.”

“You want me to track them.”

“Can you do it remotely? Dad has a VPN.”

“Yes,” Elliot paused, then asked, “They gave him a VPN here? In a house that’s not always occupied?”

“It’s a recent development. This is sort of a secret, but Dad is planning to retire next year. He and mom plan to move to this house permanently, so they’ve been spending more time here.”

Elliot sighed.

“Smart move—the hackers, I mean.”

“I know. Is that what you would do if you were a black hat?”

Elliot looked over at me and raised his brow, “I would’ve succeeded.”

I huffed out a laugh and pressed a kiss to his lips. Elliot quickly wrapped his arms around me and pulled my body on top of his. What began as an innocent kiss turned into a mess of breathy pants and sighs as our bodies ground together in the early morning light.

Elliot rolled us over and reached between our bodies, sliding a finger into my underwear to stroke my opening. I reached to grasp his hard length through his underwear before pushing the fronts down to pull out his cock.

I looked at him and he returned my gaze, his grey eyes darkened to a deep blue.

I spread my legs and pulled him toward me as he pushed my panties to the side. I pressed his tip against my wetness, and I longed for my ache of want to be filled by him.

Elliot narrowed his eyes with concern, but I shook my head and shifted my hips up to invite him to enter me.

Elliot pushed inside of me with ease, his eyes closing and his mouth popping open at the sensation of being inside me without a condom for the first time. He pulled me closer to his body, our t-shirts pressing into one another as we fucked in a heated frenzy of morning sex.

His face was pressed into my hair, into my neck, and he came quickly, buried unapologetically inside my body.

I slowly exhaled in a sad sigh that we didn’t have longer to just stay like this.

“We’ve got work to do,” I said, leaning up to place a soft bite on his shoulder.

“But—”

“I don’t need to get off every time, El. Sometimes, it’s more about intimacy. And that was delightfully intimate. I’m going to get shivers all day thinking about you—not that that’s much different than any other day now,” I said with a smile as I wriggled out from under his warm body.

“Get dressed,” I said with a wink as I ducked into the bathroom.

By lunchtime, Elliot had tracked the hackers and every company they attacked. They were novices and left way too many trails; my dad made frequent appearances in his study, sometimes asking if we needed anything, sometimes asking general questions, and sometimes just watching us work.

“I feel so inept,” he said, watching as our fingers flew over the keys, Elliot barely registering his presence.

“It’s like a hidden world, Dad,” I said distantly, trying not to lose the current signature of one of the IPS addresses.

By early afternoon, Elliot and I had everything we needed for me to hand over the file to the police.

My dad was impressed and peppered Elliot with questions until the boys came in to beg Pap to swim with them.

Elliot and I joined Charlie, Erin, Ryan, and Mom in the kitchen, settling at the kitchen table with Charlie, who began peppering us with questions very similar to my father’s.

It was Elliot’s turn to be the expert on something, and I listened with such contentment as he talked, unbelieving of just how well the weekend had gone, despite the early morning hack.

I should have known—it’s always the quite moments of pure contentment that are broken, shattered into a thousand pieces so you feel like you had only ever imagined experiencing genuine happiness.

Two very wet boys, one of them screeching, came skidding to a halt in the kitchen attempting to tattle to Mimi about some wrong that had been committed, except that Jared was so worked up that he just kept on skidding until his nose collided with the edge of the kitchen island, the crack that sounded through the room sending a wave of nausea through me.

Jared bounced off the island and fell onto the floor, blood pouring from his nose. I heard Elliot’s reaction before I saw or registered his look of panic. The chair he had been sitting in had flung back as he jumped up and he was pale and trembling as he stared at the mess that was Jared on the floor. Charlie jumped into action, running outside to get Kathleen, and Erin, Ry, and Mom all scrambled to get supplies to stop the bleeding and to tend to Jared.

Elliot looked crazed in that moment, his mind gone, so far away, just like that fateful night in the server room.

Everyone was so preoccupied with Jared’s bleeding nose that no one noticed Elliot’s reaction. I went to reach for him, to pull him into the other room, but he jumped away from me, his eyes frantic as he searched for an escape.

He took off in the direction of the stairs and I followed, feeling even sicker to my stomach.

I followed Elliot to my room, and he went straight into the closet, settling back against the wall, his breathing irregular, his eyes vacant.

“Elliot,” I said in a tone that was very similar to that night in the server room.

I approached him slowly, knowing better than to reach for him this time. I settled onto the floor, my every movement deliberate.

“Whatever’s happening in your head right now, just know that it’s not real anymore. I’m real. I’m right here,” I said, tapping the floor next to him, still not daring to touch him. “I’m right here, El.”

“Leave me the fuck alone,” Elliot said in a tone I had never heard before, his eyes snapping into focus and staring into me, icy and furious.

“This is all your fault. You wormed in, wriggled deep inside, and you’ve got no idea the kinda shit you’re gonna find when you’ve burrowed in deep enough. I can’t protect him if you keep forcing him to open up. To be vulnerable,” Elliot spat.

“Him who, Elliot? Your father?”

“Fuck you,” Elliot said, still looking at me like he wished I were dead.

“He’s . . . gone, remember? Your dad’s gone.”

Elliot said nothing, but pulled his legs tight up to his body. His shaking hands wrapped around his knees.

My eyes were filled with tears as I moved to sit next to Elliot against the wall of my closet. I swiped at the tears I couldn’t hold back, their wet heat so offensive to my fingers as I rubbed them away and onto my shorts.

We sat in silence for a long time, and I was afraid to look at Elliot again. Afraid to see that twisted expression on his face that said it hated me.

My ass had long ago grown numb, but I didn’t dare move. I didn’t want Elliot to think he was alone when he came back from whatever was going on in his head.

I was busy pulling at the frays on my shorts and continuing to fight off tears when Elliot’s soft voice broke the silence.

“Y/N?” Elliot asked, his expression tightening in a wave of confusion.

I finally looked at him again, and it was if he’d undergone a change. The iciness was gone, and it was once again the Elliot I had always known looking at me.

“What happened? I don’t—I can’t remember anything after . . . after—” Elliot looked so lost, so worried.

“Shh,” I said. “Don’t try to remember. It’s not important.”

“Yes, it is! I have to remember. I need to remember!” he yelled, causing me to flinch.

“Jared had an accident—slammed into the kitchen island,” I said immediately, watching Elliot’s face as he stared at me, wide-eyed and desperate. “He has a broken nose. There was blood everywhere, and you just . . . lost it. It was like that night in the server room. You’ve been here with me, Elliot. Right here. But your mind . . . wasn’t.”

“Why can’t I remember?” Elliot asked, his voice tinged with agony.

“Your mind isn’t ready for you to remember. Whatever happened to you—your mind just isn’t ready to let you remember. Repression is a powerful coping mechanism.”

Elliot looked at me for a long time. His eyes searching mine before they focused on my hands in my lap, the wet spots from my tears an evident mark on the denim of my shorts.

Elliot’s eyes filled with tears and his lips trembled as he fought not to cry.

“I hate this,” he breathed. “I hate that I can’t ever be normal.

“Come here,” I said, pulling his head to my chest. He wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel the wetness of his tears on my chest as he began to cry. I had a million questions, but I wasn’t sure Elliot could even answer them or that I should even ask them.

And talking it out wasn’t what he needed right now. What he needed now more than anything was someone to make him feel safe and loved.

“Shh,” I whispered into his hair as I held him, my face buried in the sweet scent of my own shampoo that he had used, the thick, soft strands of his hair tickling my nose and cheeks.

“You’re safe with me, Elliot. What’s in the past can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let it. Know why?”

He shook his head against my chest.

“Because I love you.”

A breathy sob escaped from between Elliot’s lips and he clutched onto me even tighter than the night I saved him from the server room.

“I love you,” I whispered next to his ear before pressing a kiss to his temple. “I love you, and I’ll do anything I can to keep you safe, to make you happy.”

We stayed like that for a long time, so long I thought Elliot had fallen asleep, and my eyes had begun to drift shut.

I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door, and Elliot jumped up, clearly not asleep.

“It’s probably just someone coming to check on us. Just stay here,” I said pulling the door closed enough so no one could see in.

I opened the door and stepped out into the hall to talk to Charlie who confirmed that Jared had indeed broken his nose. Charlie thought it was somewhat comical now that the hubbub was over, but I just sighed and shook my head.

“Remember that time I broke my nose over Thanksgiving? I still don’t think Mom’s forgiven me,” he said with a small laugh.

“No—she still won’t allow you to play football. And now she’ll never let Jared and Jack swim again,” I said.

“Is Elliot okay? I saw him bolt out of the kitchen.”

“He doesn’t do blood,” I said, the lie to protect Elliot falling easily from my lips.

“That was a lot of fucking blood,” Charlie confirmed. “Always a time to be had at the Y/L/N summer house!”

I shook my head and smiled softly, then told Charlie goodnight, thanking him for checking on us, too.

“Hey,” I said gently as I pushed open the closet door. “Charlie said Jared’s fine. They set his nose and he’s going to have two spectacularly black eyes for a while, but he’s doing just fine. Let’s get you the hell off this floor and into bed. You cannot tell me that your ass is not full of pins and needles.”

We undressed, quietly and quickly, sliding into the bed after Elliot opened the balcony door to let in the night’s breeze and the noise of the water on the bay. In the distance, there were fireworks popping off as people’s celebrations continued.

When we settled into bed, Elliot faced away from me, but backed into my body, touching me just enough so that he knew I was there. I wanted to wrap my arms around him again, but I refrained. He clearly needed some space, but not so much to know I wasn’t there. I had a feeling I would end up with a body covered in Elliot in the morning once his mind was at ease and his subconscious was free to do as it pleased.

Elliot clearly experienced some kind of panic attack triggered by Jared’s injury. As for the way he spoke to me, it was some sort of defense mechanism.

I shivered and hoped I never had to see that part of Elliot again.

* Saturday morning *

I was right.

I awoke to a mouthful of black hair as Elliot was tucked into me, his arm wrapped snuggly over me and his head resting on my chest, just over my heartbeat.

My waking thoughts returned to last night, and I wondered whether I should ask Elliot about what happened. I wanted to know more about his past, but I really wanted to know how to help him now.

I snuggled into the top of his hair, and breathed him in.

My next waking thought was that I had told Elliot I loved him—fuck.

He damn near had a meltdown after I asked him to be my boyfriend, so I couldn’t imagine what was going to happen when he processed what I said to him. I wondered if I should start with that—maybe he wouldn’t even remember?

My phone lit up and I reached over to check my texts. Kathleen said they were leaving soon and wanted to say goodbye.

I slipped out from under Elliot’s grasp and threw on some shorts, trying not to wake him as I wrestled my hair into a bun.

“Where are you going?” he asked sleepily.

“Kat’s leaving soon and I want to tell her and the kids goodbye.”

“Did I—did they see?”

“No. Char’s the only one who noticed you left the room rather quickly, and I told him blood wasn’t your thing.”

“Oh.”

“Do you wanna tell the kids goodbye?”

Elliot nodded and shuffled out of bed, reaching for the same shorts he had on last night. We both used the bathroom and then headed downstairs, the smell of a spectacular breakfast assaulting our noses.

Erin came pounding down the stairs after us and quickly read the room before inhaling dramatically and saying, “Ahhh! Nothing like the smell of bacon in the morning, right Jare?”

Everyone laughed as Jared glared at her and then even more when he couldn’t stop his own laugh.

We all ate breakfast together, and I could tell Elliot was tense, the easiness of the previous days gone, replaced by the anxiety that just refused to let go of him for any real length of time.

I had struggled with my own bouts of anxiousness and depression, but nothing had ever been as serious as Elliot’s. My heart ached for him, and I resolved not to let the incident in the closet go . . . like I had with the incident in the server room.

If I was ever going to help him, or get him help, I needed to get him to talk to me.

We helped Kathleen and Josh load up the car and stood in the driveway to say goodbye. Molly walked over to Elliot and clutched onto his legs, so he picked her up and hugged her, much to her delight.

Jared gave us all a reluctant hug, and I planted a kiss to the top of his head before whispering that Uncle Char broke his nose over Thanksgiving and while he was in the ER with Mimi and Pap, the turkey burned.

Jared’s face split into an expression of glee, despite his swollen eyes and nose. He looked at Charlie and said, “Well at least I didn’t ruin the Thanksgiving turkey!”

“Thanks, sis,” Charlie said.

We waved goodbye, and I asked Elliot if he wanted to take a walk on the beach. He nodded yes, so we walked across the stone path and through the front yard until our feet hit sand.

We were quiet for a long time, enjoying the cool lapping of the water at low tide as we walked.

I tested Elliot’s desire to be touched and reached for his hand.

“It’s okay if you want to pull away,” I said as his fingers curled around mine.

“I don’t.”

“Okay.”

I wanted to ask him—I was burning to ask him something about last night, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It may have been that Elliot seemed to be relaxing again, or that I feared pulling him back to that dark place, but more likely, it was my own defense mechanisms wrapping their protective arms around me while I dealt with the weight of my unacknowledged I love you.

We walked in companionable silence, both of us lost in our thoughts until Elliot started talking about yesterday’s hack. We fell into an easy, safe conversation, and I found myself okay with that. I knew I couldn’t ignore the much more difficult conversation we needed to have forever, but what was the harm in letting Elliot have some time to process? Patience. That was what he needed right now.

When it started raining that afternoon, we decided to head back into the city a little early to beat the surge of Sunday traffic.

We said goodbye to my family, and Elliot thanked them all for making him feel so welcome. I smiled as I watched him interact with my mom and my dad more easily than I could’ve ever dreamed.

Charlie and Elliot gave each other head nods, but the look of soft affection that passed between them made me smile.

And that soft moment was quickly replaced by yet another quiet moment of horror when Erin launched herself into Elliot’s arms, dramatically declaring that she’d die if she didn’t see him again before the end of summer.

Elliot patted her and stilled, waiting for her to release him, but when she leaned up and whispered something in his ear, he laughed, that same booming laugh from the night in the pool.

I found myself smiling like an idiot, again. Despite Jared’s broken nose and Elliot’s subsequent panic attack, the weekend was a true success.

Our drive back was quiet, music playing faintly on the radio as the rain splattered on the windshield of my SUV.

I stopped outside of Elliot’s building, the wipers a steady beat in the background as he pulled his backpack up to the front seat.

“I’m sure you’re ready for some alone time.”

“I like being with you,” Elliot offered.

I smiled, sadness still tugging at my heart, not just because of finally beginning to understand the depth of Elliot’s pain, but because it was clear he wasn’t ready to love me. Like me, just not love me. And I needed to figure out a way to be okay with that.

“Do you need help with any—”

“Thank you for—”

We looked at each other and laughed, one of those awkward laughs that happens when there’s just so much to unpack but you’re too tired and you just don’t want to yet.

“It’s just one bag. I can manage,” Elliot said.

“You’re welcome for the weekend,” I returned.

“I wasn’t going to thank you for the weekend. I wanted to,” Elliot paused and collected his thoughts, his eyes looking at my hand as it rested on the gear shift. “I wanted to thank you for what you said. It meant a lot. And it means a lot that you understood what I needed to hear and you were willing to say it to me, no matter if you didn’t mean it.”

“What?” I asked stupidly.

“I know you didn’t mean it. You were just being good to me. You’re always good to me.”

“Elliot,” I said firmly. “I would never tell someone I loved them if I didn’t mean it. Come on. You have to expect better from people—not people. From me. Expect better from me.”

Elliot looked at me, his mouth open in what looked like shock before he pulled in his bottom lip and bit it, his eyes blinking slowly.

“You meant it?”

“I still mean it.”

Elliot looked like he was about to short-circuit.

“Hey—hey,” I said, forcing him to meet my gaze as I lifted his chin. “We aren’t teenagers. I don’t need you to say it back just because I said it. And I’m not going to take it back because you didn’t say it back. I feel the way I feel and I’m so happy about it, El. And I hope you feel the same way someday. But that’s your decision, not mine. I’m not going to push you. I won’t say it again if you don’t want me—”

“I do,” Elliot said, his eyes burning into mine with their intensity, effectively cutting me off from my explanation. “I want you to say it when you feel it. If you mean it, I want you to say it. I’m just not ready—but you have no idea, fuck I don’t even have an idea really, how it makes me feel to know that you think—”

“Not think—”

“That you know how you feel and you feel that way about me.”

“Maybe if I say I love you enough, you’ll start believing it.”

Elliot closed his eyes as if he were memorizing the sound of my voice, memorizing the way the loaded word hung in the air.

“Can it be enough, for now, that you want to give it? Can I have time to figure out how to . . . process that?”

“Time as in we don’t see each other time, or time as in we just keep doing our thing and don’t talk about this for a while?”

Elliot smiled and replied, “The second thing you said. This weekend established an unrealistic expectation—every morning I woke up and it was next to you. Waking up tomorrow is going to be awful.”

“We could always move in together?” I said, wondering if Elliot would read the teasing that was dancing behind my eyes.

“Fuck, Y/N. Are you trying to kill me?” he said with a huff of a laugh.

“Goodnight, Elliot. I’ll miss you.”

“Text me before you fall asleep,” he said as he leaned over the console, his voice low.

Elliot kissed me goodnight, his lips soft and warm as they moved against mine, his teeth pulling on my lower lip before he drew away.

By the time I opened my eyes, he was closing the passenger door. I opened the liftgate and he grabbed his bag, shutting the door firmly.

I watched him jog up the short steps to his building and duck inside, an ache that would someday become all too familiar took hold of my heart as I watched him disappear.

#Elliot Alderson #elliot alderson imagine #elliot alderson x reader #elliot x reader #female reader #mr robot fanfiction #rami malek #rami malek character

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