#billy russo angst

[becauseicantthinkwritings]

Teeth

Part 19

Werepanther! Billy Russo X Female Reader

Masterlist

Warnings: Dreams of blood and gore expanded on from part 1, anxiety, fear, disorientation, mild panic, comfort.

You don’t recognize where you are at first, it takes you a second to figure it out.

Trees all around you in the dark, soft rustling as gentle winds blow through the forest.

You’re there again.

You know what’s coming, you start moving before you hear the first branch snap.

There’s a murderer in the woods, and he wants to kill you.

You gasp for air, chest burning, trying to be as quiet as possible as you search.

Search? What were you looking for?

You pause, holding your breath to quiet your sounds so that you can listen for footsteps.

There.

He’s not far behind and he’s coming faster.

You keep moving, hoping that you’re going to find what you’re looking for around the next bend of trees.

It takes you a while, what feels like forever, of searching, of hiding, of running.

You find him, drinking out of a shallow puddle of water, his back to you.

He turns when you approach.

“Help.” You say to the panther, the only predator worth trusting, “I need your help.”

The panther is calm, though with every beat of your heart you can hear the crunching of footsteps near approaching. 

The sleek animal approaches calmly, until he’s almost by your side.

A gun cocks behind you, and you turn suddenly.

You see him, the hunter, more clearly than you ever did before, a bitter scent in your nose, telling you that there’s fear, heavy in the air.

Gun raised, and you lunge. 

His vocal cords are torn out first, you make sure not to go too deep, you want him to feel this, every moment of it. His blood is metallic on your tongue, and you hear the way blood rushes into his lungs.

He tries to raise the gun, and his arm is next. The feeling of flesh and bone crunching between your teeth shouldn’t be as satisfying as it is. You comfort yourself with the notion that he chose this, that he attacked first.

He doesn’t do much more than lie there after that, and in a few minutes, his breathing stops, maybe with the loss of blood, maybe by drowning in it.

You turn away, going back to the little puddle you were at before, only now it’s a large pond.

You drink greedily from the water, desperate to wash the taste of blood from your mouth, and when the water settles, it’s not your reflection staring back at you, it’s the panther’s.

You’re calm about it, feeling like a passenger in someone else’s body, you walk into the water, feeling a body that is not yours, surrounded by the cool waters.

It’s strange, as you feel the way the fur on the surface of your skin gets wet, a sensation you’ve never felt before.

You can feel the gentle current of the water as you swim, you know which way you’re going, not with just your eyes, but with your entire body.

You look up, shaking your head, the stars in the sky dancing just for you.

You feel at peace here, despite what you’ve just done, the memory of it fading in lieu of your current, unfamiliar experience.

Something inside you settles, no longer agitated by your past experiences, in the dark forest, under the night sky, an acceptance overcomes you.

You were the panther now.

.

You yawn, pressing the heels of your hands against your eyes and then running them back to press against your temples.

You try to refocus on your laptop screen, but the words are all jumbled and you have trouble focusing on them.

You groan, dropping your head onto your desk, really not wanting to work anymore for today.

It was funny, because you’d basically fought to convince Billy you were okay this morning, getting dressed and waiting patiently at his front door.

When he’d seen you waiting for him, he’d looked so confused.

“It’s really okay if you want to wait a few more days.” He’d said, trying to encourage you to stay in his home alone.

Which was something you really didn’t want to do.

At least not so soon.

“I can do it.” You’d said with a lot more confidence in your voice than you’d actually felt. You didn’t understand why you were pushing so hard.

It had taken a few solid minutes to convince him that you would be okay, and then he’d fixed his mouth into a displeased line for a moment, before accepting.

And then he’d done the most shocking thing.

He’d cupped your face in both hands, big and warm and gentle on your face, his eyes desperate for something his mouth had yet to ask.

“Can I kiss you?”

Four words that had rushed into your head and made your knees wobble.

You’d swallowed nervously, before responding in the affirmative.

It was the softest, hottest, most toe curling kiss you’d ever experienced, and it had only been a few seconds before he was leaning away and leading you to his car with your heart slamming in your throat and vibrating in your chest.

It was danger unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.

Now though, you sigh, standing to grab yourself another cup of coffee, your body fatigued for reasons you didn’t know. 

You just had to get through the day. The weekend was near, and you’d have plenty of time then to think about Billy Russo and his kisses.

You find yourself  smiling like a lunatic into your third cup of coffee.

A text comes in from Amy, asking how you're doing, and you try to answer as honestly as possible.

Every waking moment was scary, you didn't know whether you were being watched or not, if someone would just pop up from some obscure place and try to hurt you.

They could be someone who you'd worked with before, or even, someone working with you right now.

You press your fingers to your mouth anxiously, looking around, trying to figure out if you could notice anyone acting suspicious.

When someone looks at you, probably noticing your stares, you stand abruptly, a searing pain in your chest as you rush out of the room.

Your heart was pounding, trying to keep your head down as you try not to race past people. Everyone that looked at you was another suspect on your list. 

You try to regulate your breathing, sharp and shallow is the best you can do as the sounds around you blend into one another, into a hum that buzzes in your head, making you want to scream.

You don't realize where you are until you barge into his office unannounced and see his face.

He's not alone, two other well-dressed men in the room with him, turning to look at you, their eyes like spotlights, making you freeze.

You don’t remember how you got here, your mouth parting in hopes that an explanation will just fall out.

“Let’s put a pin in this for now.” Billy says pulling the attention of both men to him, he nods decisively before speaking again.

“We’ll pick up again tomorrow, it’ll give me a chance to finalise some details for you.”

You turn away in shame, looking into the far end of the room as the men stand, nodding in agreement, and turning to the door.

You politely step to the side, and offer them a small smile of apology as they walk past you and through the door.

As soon as the door closes, you turn to face him, finding that he’s almost to you anyway.

“I’m so sorry,” You whisper to him in a distressed voice, “I didn’t mean to interrupt or cause you any trouble.”

“Shhh,” He soothes, bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks, “It’s alright. Did something happen?”

You close your eyes when the smell of him reaches you. His body is so close and yet so achingly far away.

“I’m- I don’t know I was working and-” You pause to take a deep breath, raising your hands to wipe at your eyes, “I don’t know what’s going on.”

You gasp, avoiding his gaze as tears pool in your eyes and threaten to fall.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You whisper, disoriented, unable to focus, your head so foggy with the worst parts of yourself.

You didn’t want to cry again, didn’t want to manipulate him into giving you comfort. You felt so badly for needing him over and over again.

“I’m sorry.” You try again, wanting to be the strong woman you once were.

He says your name softly, and it only succeeds in making your lip tremble.

“This is normal, sweetheart. This is an absolutely normal way to be feeling given the circumstance.” He soothes.

It’s like you don’t hear him, or more like his words aren’t registering in your head.

“I’m so damaged,” You lament, “Broken beyond repair. Maybe I’ve always been, maybe- maybe that’s why no one has ever really wanted me.”

.

He can’t breathe.

There’s so much he wants to say, but the words stick like tar in his throat.

How could you think no one wants you? When I’ve been searching for you for years? When my soul has been aching for yours long before I understood that souls could ache, or that I even had a soul to begin with?

Why would you want me? Billy thinks finally. 

He swallows, too afraid of his own self reflection, blinking to reorient himself to your distressed state.

Out loud, he simply says, “Come here.”

Guiding you along, his hands gripped in yours, he takes you around his desk.

“Get under.” He says softly, watches your distress turn to confusion.

You look perplexed for a moment, before you do as he says. Billy watches you step out of your heels, and crawl under his desk, pulling your knees up to your chest and looking up at him with a sniffle.

He smiles reassuringly at you, moving quickly to his couch to grab the large grey throw blanket  and the two pillows sitting there.

He returns to the desk, reaching into the mini fridge beside it to pull out a tiny crate of fresh strawberries he’d had delivered earlier in the day just for you, and then he gets to work.

The first thing he does is toss the blanket over part of his table and over his office chair, anchoring it with whatever is heaviest to make sure it doesn’t slip off the table, sliding the pillows under the makeshift fort.

The next thing he does is shed his jacket and shoes, rolling up his sleeves and pulling his tie off without much thought.

He dims the light in his office, making sure that it's soothing enough, listening to your heartbeat slow a little as he makes the environment a bit more comfortable.

Then, he kneels, crawling under his desk as well, fitting his large body into the free space, tucking pillows behind his back and pulling your curled body against his.

You don’t speak until he presses the little tray of strawberries into your hands.

“What… are we doing?” You ask curiously.

“We’re hiding.” Billy answers, as if the answer is the most obvious one in the world.

“Hiding from what?” 

“Ourselves.”

.

Your lip wobbles again, but this time for a completely different reason.

How could one person be so understanding of you?

You close your eyes, resting your head against his shoulder, smiling as he elaborates on his last words.

“Take all those bad feelings in your head and leave them outside. In here, it’s just you, me, and strawberries.”

You smile, reaching for the fruit in question, raising it to your lips.

Delicious, as always, juicy, and tart on your tongue.

You let out a blissful sigh, feeling your body reorient itself in your universe.

“I like strawberries.” You say calmly, taking another bite of the sweet fruit.

He hums, and the sound vibrates in your ear with how close he is.

“Yeah? What else do you like?”

“Bunnies.” You answer without another thought.

“Bunnies are very cute.” He agrees.

“What do you like?” You echo to him.

“Cats.” He says simply.

“Love cats.” You say with a soft nod.

“What about flowers, do you like flowers?”

“Mhmm,” You respond mid chew, swallowing to respond to him, “Gladioli, wisteria, coneflowers, lily of the valley. They’re beautiful. The forest where- uh- where Amy, Dani and I camped, would have some amazing flowers during the spring. Sometimes we’d find a nice spot and have a picnic. I was always in charge of getting the fruits and wines.”

“That sounds amazing. What made you start going there in the first place?”

You smile, deep in thought.

“My dad had taken us up once, and I’d loved every minute of it, but after that, he never did again, despite how badly or how much I begged, and no one else at the time had any interest in going with me and I didn’t want to go alone, so years passed with me never going. Dani was the first person I’d met who loved the outdoors as much as me, and by sheer pestering, Amy agreed to come with us after college, and it’s just been a thing since then. A few days there each spring was the best feeling in the world.” 

“That first time you went,” Billy murmurs, “We might have been up there at the same time.”

You turn to look at him finally, his close proximity to you, his mouth directly in your line of sight, his soft breath brushing your cheek. 

“I wish I’d met you. We might have been friends.”

He nods in easy agreement, as if he has no hesitations about it.

.

When your bodies ache from being in the same place for so long, you finally crawl out, giggling at the antics it takes, to get to your feet.

One of your legs tingle from lack of proper circulation, and you lean against his desk for support, watching him reach to put his shoes back on. 

When he’s done, he kneels before you, to your absolute surprise, grabbing your little heels, and holding one out for you expectantly.

Your body feels so charged with electricity, lifting one foot up to let him slip your shoe on, and doing the same for the other foot.

He rises to his feet before you, and you go from looking down at him, to looking up, his body so close to yours, and yet still not touching.

He brings his hand around your body, gripping your hip as he slots himself against you.

Your lips part automatically, addicted to the look in his eyes, the promise written in them.

“Can I kiss you?” Billy hums, his other arm rising to trail the back of his hand across your cheekbone softly.

“Yes.” You answer eagerly, tilting your head up, praying for his mouth to any god that was willing to listen.

The corner of his mouth twitches, before he gets even closer, your body pressed firmly to his as he lowers his head, fingers sliding under your chin to encourage you to tilt your head higher.

Your eyes shut eagerly as his lips brush yours. A spark like no other igniting within you.

You gasp at the gentleness of it, at the need in your body, chasing his mouth as he pulls back. 

His lips are so soft, full, he drops his head, sealing your mouths together.

You tilt your head, pulling back and smiling as you feel his mouth follow, a dance so desperate between you that it shouldn’t be this slow.

His beard scratches your cheek, tickles your lips, and you love every second of it.

You part your lips, eagerly swiping your tongue against his bottom lip and you hear him groan softly.

He pressed his forehead to yours to stop your kiss, breathing laboured.

“You’re playing with my sanity.” He whispers, pulling a smile from you.

He cups your face swiftly, pressing his mouth passionately to yours once more. You make a little sound of bliss, one hand trailing up to grip his shoulder.

.

He doesn’t know how he does it, but he forces himself to stop.

He doesn’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for, and for once in his life, the panther agrees.

Ever since you’d asked to take it slow, the beast had stopped tormenting him with imagery of having you, concerned primarily with making sure you felt safe. The smell of your distress in the air constantly worried him. He wanted your comfort above everything else.

Love could wait.

After work on Friday, you ask him politely if it would be possible to take you over to your friend’s place. He doesn’t say no. He makes sure to reassure you that you’d be safe going there, and encourages you when you look unsure. 

This would be good for you, some semblance of normalcy in your life.

He keeps all his senses on high alert, listening for any sign that you might be being watched.

There’s nothing, and he wonders for a moment if the stalker knows to avoid him, if there’s some possibility that they know who he is- what he is.

He blinks, tilting his head deep in thought at the possibility, reminding himself to ask Dinah about it later.

Your friends are happy to see you, pulling you into a dual embrace the moment they can.

Billy stays back, an amused smile on his face. The apartment is full of various scents, sage and turmeric, a hint of cinnamon, and most importantly, the scent of a feline.

The sound of little jingles grow louder, emphasised by each little step, Billy finds himself smiling as the gorgeous grey maine coon comes into view.

He’s large for his breed and suspicious at first, at least until he senses the panther inside Billy. The next thing he knows is the cat is weaving figure eights around his legs.

He looks up to find all three women staring at him in surprise.

“How did you do that?” Amy asks, “Loki doesn’t usually take to strangers.”

Billy only lifts a shoulder, pretending to be as confused as everyone else was.

“It’s true,” You explain, “It took him months to even want to sit in the same room with me.”

The best he can do is pretend to be surprised that the cat is nice to him.

When they gather on the couch and invite him to sit as well, he accepts, sitting beside you, a small distance away to respect whatever boundaries you wanted.

You hadn’t spoken about it. Were you dating? Was this just a friendship? He didn’t think friends would kiss the way you kissed.

Maybe it was a- what were the kids calling it? A situationship? 

He didn’t like the concept of it.

He couldn’t worry about that now anyway, he thinks to himself as he watches you talk excitedly to your friends, he admires your hair, the look in your eyes as you speak, so expressive and wonderful in every way imaginable, his only concern right now, was making you feel comfortable in the world around you once more.

Something distracts him- a large weight pouncing into his lap.

He turns his head in surprise, the big green eyes of the maine coon staring back at him. 

Loki uses his little paws to climb Billy’s chest, so that he can rub the top of his furry head on Billy’s chin, the panther humming happily as the feline admires him.

He drops his head respectfully, letting him rub his head against Billy’s, a formal greeting.

When the cat is satisfied, it flops over, belly up and stares at Billy expectantly.

Billy chuckles inwardly, accepting the offer to scratch Loki’s tummy, admiring the soft fur of his underbelly.

He blinks, looking up realising that everyone has gone quiet, to find all eyes on him once more, the sweet scent of arousal in the air.

“What have you done to my cat?” Amy asks in disbelief. 

“I guess he just likes me.” Is all Billy can say.

Later, as he waits by the door as you bid your friends goodbye, he overhears Dani with his panther hearing, asking if  you and him were a couple now.

He holds his breath, waiting for the answer, looking down as you turn to look at him, pretending that he can’t hear the way your heart picks up in your chest.

“I don’t even know. I can’t help thinking that the only reason we’re close is because he feels sorry for me.”

He can feel his chest just split in half at the very thought of it.

.

.

.

[amhrosina]

Sneaky Link (Billy Russo x Castle!Reader)

MASTERLIST // TAG LIST REQUEST

A/N: Nonnie, the way i RAN to my computer to write this. You’re a genius! Here you go! 

Request: Oke so hear me out please...So, Billy Russo and Frank Castle's sister in a backstreet relationship. I know i know it's lame, but i can't imagine Frank's face when he finds out that his sweet-not-so-innocent sister fuck his asshole-but-charming best friend.. Hope you like that idea <3

Summary: Billy finds himself in trouble with his best friend, Frank, when Frank finds out he’s been messing around with you, Frank’s sweet and innocent sister.

(Warnings: Smut at the beginning, oral (fem receiving), reader is called good girl, cursing (lots of cursing), Frank and Billy get into a physical fight with each other (lol), fluffy Billy, not canon obv)

“Oh fuck, Billy. Just like that. Don’t stop.” You moaned, arching your back. Billy’s tongue was currently making you see stars for the third time that evening. The soft comforter on your bed was soaked in sweat, and Billy wasn’t letting up anytime soon. 

“You like that, baby?” He mumbled, circling his tongue around your clit. “Gonna cum again, princess?”  

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, yes.” You breathed, squeezing your eyes shut. Your legs were shaking uncontrollably on Billy’s shoulders, who was somehow smirking and still managing to inch you closer to your release.  

“You’ve been such a good girl today. Cum on my tongue, princess.” 

The moan you let out was unholy as Billy focuses all of his attention on your clit, sucking and licking in perfect tandem. Your body seized as your third orgasm of the day rushes through you, a spark of fiery lust traveling down your spine. Billy doesn’t let up until you physically shove his shoulders away, heart pounding and ears ringing.  

You gulp in air, turning to lay on your stomach. Billy’s soft hands run up and down your spine in soothing strokes.  

“You did so good, baby.” He mumbled into your ear, planting a soft kiss on the back of your neck.  

“You are going to be the death of me, Billy Russo.” You responded, resting your cheek on your folded hands. 

“You love it.” He scoffed, chuckling.  

You push yourself towards the edge of the bed, searching for your underwear in the trail of clothes that started at your front door and ended by your bed.  

“Where are you going?” Billy made himself comfortable, stretching out on the sheets and resting his hands behind his head.  

“I told Frank I’d meet him for drinks. That’s where I was headed when you knocked on the door. And now,” you check the time on your phone, “I’m very late. If you leave before I get back, lock the door behind you.”  

Billy’s frown is evident as you toss articles of clothing around trying to find your dress. You knew bringing up Frank would cause some anxiety, but you really were going to meet Frank.  

“When are we going to tell him?” Billy asked, pointing out the dress that he’d carefully laid on the armchair before ravishing you. 

Billy and you had been messing around for months now, all behind Frank’s back. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of Billy, but Frank had always been protective of you, and you were sure he’d be less than thrilled to find out his best friend had been fucking his little sister for the better half of a year.  

It hadn’t started on purpose, you reasoned. Frank, you, and Billy had been drinking at a bar when Karen had called Frank, frantic about something. Frank had hurried off, leaving you and Billy to your own devices. Three shots later and Billy was pulling your top off in the bar bathroom.  

After that encounter, you’d avoided spending any time alone with Billy, but Billy’s charming and handsome and so good at kissing, so your resolve only lasted a few days. Since then, Billy and you had been sneaking around Frank’s back, stealing glances at each other when Frank wasn’t looking, and sneaking kisses when you could get away with it.  

It started as a casual hook-up, but it certainly didn’t develop as one. You and Billy were together. You cooked dinner for each other, went out on dates when you knew Frank wouldn’t stumble across the two of you, and spent most of your free time at each other’s apartments. He brought you flowers every week and referred to you as his girlfriend to his employees at work. You’d even gone to the Anvil Christmas party, albeit as Frank’s plus one, but you were still there, celebrating Billy’s accomplishments with him.  

“Did you hear me? When are we going to tell him?” Billy’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.  

“I don’t know.” You responded honestly. At this point, no matter how you did it, Frank would be upset that you’d hidden it from him. 

“Do you not want to be with me?” Billy rarely sounded insecure, but in that moment, you could feel the insecurities rolling off him. You moved towards the bed, cupping Billy’s cheeks and kissing his nose.  

“Of course, I want to be with you, Billy. You’re everything to me. I just don’t know how to explain that to Frank without him trying to murder you. And then me.” you added, pressing your forehead to his.  

“We should tell him soon. I don’t like hiding things from him. We’ve always trusted each other.”  

“I know. We’ll tell him soon. I promise, okay? But I really have to go.”  

Billy nodded, kissing your cheek and standing.  

A knock at the door had both of you on alert. You moved to answer it, but Billy stopped you and held out his shirt in his hands. You looked down and realized you were still naked, minus the underwear. A sheepish grin crossed your face as you threw the shirt on. 

You swung open the door, ready to tell whatever solicitor that you weren’t interested, but you stopped short when you exchanged glances with your brother, who looked rightfully concerned. 

“Where the hell have you been? I waited for you for over an hour, and then you wouldn’t respond to my texts or calls, so I thought ‘Oh she must be getting murdered. Then you open the door with this ridiculous smile on your face, like you aren’t incredibly late for something!”  

Frank stormed through the door, and before you can respond, takes in the fact that Billy is standing in your bedroom doorway, shirtless and guilt-ridden. Frank turned and looked at you, glancing down at your shirt and then back at Billy, who is holding his hands up innocently. Frank’s face is stoic, but you can see the rage churning in his eyes. The apartment is so quiet you can hear Billy’s breathing from across the room. The calm before the storm, apparently. 

“’the fucks wrong with you, you bastard?” Frank charged at Billy, who only lifted his hands higher to try and push Frank away from him.  

“Frank, stop!” You yelped, trying to figure out how to stop Frank from killing your boyfriend. Frank slammed Billy into the wall, punching Billy in the jaw.  

“It’s not what you think. I’m not just-” 

“Just what? Fucking my sister? I thought you were different, Billy. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Frank’s fist connected with Billy’s face again, and you let out a yelp as blood starts to trickle down Billy’s face.  

“Frank, stop! It’s not like that! He’s my boyfriend, Frank! We’re not just messing around!”  

Frank freezes, mid-swing, and turns to look at you. He’s very clearly confused at your confession. 

“Your boyfriend?” Frank drops Billy, who slumps against the wall and lets out a wheeze. “What do you mean, your boyfriend?” 

“I mean, he’s my boyfriend, Frank. We’re together. And we should’ve told you, but I knew you’d react just like this, like a fucking psycho, so I didn’t say anything. And I made Billy promise he wouldn’t say anything to you. If you’re going to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”  

“You’re together?” Frank looks between you and Billy, shaking his head. “Like together, together?” 

“Yes, now can I please go put some pants on and trust that you’re not going to pummel his face in?” 

“I need to talk to you.” Frank points at Billy, who stands and wipes the blood from his face.  

“Yeah, alright.” He responds, nodding.  

When you make it to your bedroom, you can hear the muffled sound of Frank speaking. He still sounded angry, but at least he wasn’t actively trying to punch Billy anymore. You searched through your drawers until you found an old pair of sweatpants, slowly pulling them on. You wanted to give Billy and Frank enough time to talk it out, but you didn’t want to leave them alone for too much longer.  

You creeped through the doorway, where you found Billy sitting on your couch with an ice pack pressed into his jaw, and Frank, searching through your fridge.  

“Is everything...good now?” You asked tentatively, looking back and forth between your boyfriend and your brother.  

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna see any of that lovey-dovey shit. I’m not happy about it, but I can’t stop you from being an idiot.” Frank responded, pulling three beers out of the fridge and setting them on the counter.  

Billy gave you a small smile, but grimaced when pain shot through his jaw again. You could already see the bruises blooming on his face.  

“Okay...do you want to watch a movie?” You asked, trying to play it off like this was a totally normal night.  

Frank handed you a beer, then handed Billy one.  

“Sure, princ- Um.” Billy cleared his throat and said your name. Frank rolled his eyes and sat down next to Billy, which left you the seat next to Frank. You tried not to roll your eyes at Frank’s choice of couch cushions and flopped down next to him. It was going to be a long movie.  

When Frank finally left hours later, he sent you a pointed look on his way out the door. He had barely looked at you or Billy the entire night, but you considered it progress anyways. It was better than physically punching each other.  

Billy had stretched his legs out on the couch, propping his head up on a pillow.  

“So that went...well?” He questioned, raising his eyebrows at you. 

“Are you okay? I’m so sorry.” You rushed to his side, trying to get a better look at the bruises forming on Billy’s face.  

Billy waved a hand and shrugged. “If all I got was a couple licks to the face, I call that a win. He’ll come around.”  

Frank did eventually come around, but he certainly took his time. For the first month after his discovery, he wedged himself inbetween you and Billy as often as he could. Whether it be on the subway, in a bar stool, or at your house, Frank always managed to separate the two of you. It was frustrating, but Billy assured you that he would take the time he needed to get over it and come around.  

When Billy took your hand to pull you out of the way of a fast-approaching cab one night, Frank eyed your intertwined hands, and then looked away, pretending not to notice it. You squeezed Billy’s hand in celebration but didn’t say a word. The first time Billy kissed you in front of Frank, he had gotten an emergency call from work and had to rush out of the bar you were sitting in. He had planted a kiss on your lips without thinking about the present company and bolted out the door, leaving you with a very red face.  

Frank had taken a sip of his beer and continued the conversation you were having before Billy’s departure. The small victories were few and far between, but you and Billy were patient.  

Finally, what felt like months later, Frank made a joke about Billy being your boyfriend, and you felt like you could finally relax. Billy clearly made you happy, so Frank got over it. Later that night, you were wrapped in Billy’s arms in your bed, half-asleep and listening to Billy’s voice as he read from your favorite book.   

“You know,” Billy mumbled to your sleeping form, “I hope Frank doesn’t react the same way when I ask you to marry me.”  

He chuckled as you snuggled into his chest, unconscious to the world around you. You and Billy hadn’t spoken about marriage, but he had clear intentions with you. He wasn’t going to let you get away.  

He leaned over and clicked the lamp off, sending the room into complete darkness.  

“Goodnight, my love.” He sighed, kissing your hair. “I can’t wait to say that to you for the rest of our lives.” 

Tag List:

@alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @purple-amaranthe @raajali3 @emiemiemiii @messymissy @mossexe

[petertingle-yipyip]

BIGGER PERSON - BILLY RUSSO

Pairing: billy x castle!reader (established relationship)

Word Count: 1,741

Summary: When Frank’s sister finds out that a) her brother’s alive and b) her boyfriend is supposed to kill him, the conversation quickly turns bad.

Your brother, Frank Castle.

Months had passed and his death still didn’t feel real. You had seen the headstone, found a church that was willing to give the infamous Punisher his last rites. Even though Frank didn’t really care for religion towards the end of his life, your parents would’ve wanted it done so you made sure of it. You sent them the blessed crucifix from the private ritual.

You were frozen in place as the news story played out on your TV. The job Billy was working for the senator, the one he claimed was to protect from the unknown bomber, was also intended to protect him from Frank. Frank, the alleged accomplice to the bomber, was being framed - yet again - as public enemy number one.

You paused the screen when the channel was playing video from a cop car that very clearly showed your brother’s face and pulled your phone to text Billy. But as your finger was finding the conversation, you realized he would very likely lie to you again. He lied about the job to begin with, so why would he owe you an honest answer now.

So instead, you paced your living room until he finally made it home.

When you heard the door open, your grip tightened on the remote and you felt the urge to throw it. Either at Billy or close to it, you didn’t care, but you refrained from either. He walked in and said his usual greeting, moving in to kiss your cheek but you shoved him off.

“Tell me you didn’t know.” You said tightly, hoping the anger in your stare was enough to burn him.

“What do you mean?” He asked, a slight nervous chuckle pairing with the words.

“The bombings. All of it is being blamed on Frank.” You continued.

“Frank?” His brows furrowed and you had the urge to shove him again.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.”

“No, I- I’m not.” His hands went up in surrender. “I want to finish this discussion, really. But honestly, baby, I’m too damn tired. Can it wait till later?”

“So my brother is alive and I find out by chance from some news story and you want to talk about it later?” You said angrily, gesturing to the paused screen that still displayed the photo captured from a police car’s dash cam.

“Can we not do this, Y/N?” Billy sighed and dropped on the couch, covering his eyes.

“No, I think we should.” You snapped. “That is my brother, Billy. If there was even a rumor that he was still alive, you should’ve told me!”

“It was just a rumor.” He enunciated, still not looking at you. “I hadn’t heard from him so how was I supposed to know it was true?”

“You still should’ve told me!”

“I’m sorry!” He shouted, standing suddenly and. pausing you to take a small step back. “What am I supposed to do about it now? What- What- What do you want from me?”

“Jesus.” You sighed and put your hands up in surrender. “Nevermind. It’s just my brother, right? Who cares? Not like I had a right to know but hey.”

You stormed off to the bedroom and ignored Billy’s muttering as you left. You didn’t even need Billy to confess that he knew or that he was helping Frank hide. All you wanted was an honest apology, but he couldn’t even do that.

The days went on and you still said very little to Billy. You still did your usual routine, breakfast and coffee ready before he went to work. Dinner either on the way or finishing on the stove when he got home. But outside of that, or answering a direct question he asked, you were busy with a book or a new TV show. Anything really that meant you didn’t have to say anything to him.

It was right before his TV interview about the attack on Senator Ori at the hotel, which they were attributing to Frank. He had came out and asked if his tie looked okay and you said “Sure, it’s fine” without facing him.

“Jesus, Y/N/N. How long you gonna act like this?” He complained.

“I shouldn’t have to be the bigger person.” You spat back, still keeping your back to him. “I shouldn’t have to bend to keep us on track. Let me ask you this, Bill. That guy with the- the eye thing. He having you go after Frankie?”

“Y/N…”

“I swear to God I will walk out that door.” You threatened and turned to face him. You watched his eyes dart between yours as he took in your expression. “Everything you’ve been doing lately, was it all about Frank?”

“Yeah...”

“Catching him?”

“Yeah…”

“Killing him?”

You didn’t even know how you managed to get that question out but you did. It felt as if your throat had tightened and the three short syllables were rung out of your voice box like water out of a towel.

“Yeah…” He answered, voice barely above a whisper.

Your heart grew heavy in your chest and it nearly felt

like it had stopped beating.

“And you wonder why I’m pissed off.” You said flatly, pushing past  and leaving him behind you.

“Baby, it's just business, alright? Nothing personal.”

“It should be personal!” You turned and shouted. “That’s my goddamn brother!”

“You want me to apologize for doing my job?” He asked sharply.

“Yes!” You threw your arms forward. “Apologize for trying to kill my brother!”

“It’s my job!”

“Well excuse me for thinking you cared about me more than a fucking paycheck.” You put hands up in surrender and turned away, back into the kitchen.

“C’mon, babe.” He sighed, hurrying after you. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s always up to me, even when it shouldn’t be.” You complained. “You want me to take the blame for a fight and I do. I do because I love you and I always think it’ll be the last time.”

“Y/N…” He said your name softly, confused even. As if he had barely realized what the routine with you had become.

Argue about something, sometimes petty and sometimes not. Then you’ll make up when you apologize, but nothing changes. It was a vicious cycle that Billy was completely oblivious to, until now.

“I think that maybe next time you’ll be the bigger person cause I’m sick and tired of carrying the burden of every argument.” You shrugged, tears forming in your eyes that you ignored. “Keep moving my boundaries so you don’t cross lines, keep quiet when you yell. All cause I thought I had to to make it last between us.”

“I… I didn’t realize.”

“Yeah, I know.”

He took a moment to think over his next words. It felt like a very defining moment for your relationship. He never meant to make you feel that way, and knowing he had was arguably the worst pain he’d ever felt. How did he not notice? How could he do that to you?

“Tell me how to make this right.” He said softly, gently reaching to take your hand. You looked up at him while you let your hand sit in his. He looked at you with wide, soft eyes that were begging for forgiveness. “I’ll do anything.”

“You think it’s that easy?” You countered with a small challenge. “Billy, you’ve been hunting down my brother for a man who doesn’t care about you. That guy will throw you under the bus as soon as he needs to, just like everyone else. But my brother? You know damn well Frank would’ve done anything to protect you. He never would’ve don’t this to you.”

“No… He would’ve.”

“Why?” 

He looked towards the ceiling and sighed heavily. Your stomach felt tight and your blood ran warm with anticipation while you took a step back, taking your hand away from his.

“What did you do?” You urged.

“The carousel.” He began and that knot in your stomach grew tighter.

“You were there?”

“No.” He looked back to you, a silent plea in his expression. To hear him out, to believe him, to forgive him. “No, I wasn’t, I swear.”

“You didn’t shoot him? Or Maria? Or the kids?”

“No, I wouldn’t do it.” He shook his head and you could’ve sworn you saw tears in his eyes. “I said no.”

You were quiet as things began to click and you knew it reflected in your eyes as Billy’s expression changed.

“But you knew… You knew they were coming after my brother and that’s why we went out instead of me going with them.” You realized and the thick weight of betrayal slammed into your chest so hard you thought the bones would break. “How fucking dare you stand in front of me.”

“No, Y/N, please. Let me-“

“Let you what?” You cut in sharply and your hands tightened into fists at your side. “Let you explain? What is there to explain when you just admitted to knowing that your worthless fucking friends were gonna kill my family and you did nothing?” Your voice grew to a scream as you rambled.

His eyes shot to your hands and he took a step back from you.

“My niece and nephew, Billy!” You shouted. “They were kids! And Maria, she loved you. And you just let it happen.”

“I couldn’t do anything.” He spoke quietly.

“You’re kidding, right?” You laughed in disbelief. “You could’ve warned him!”

“He wouldn’t have believed me!” He reasoned.

“Y’know what.” You took a deep breath. “Just get out.”

“Y/N..”

“Aren’t you late for your interview?”

He opened his mouth to speak but the glare you gave him kept him quiet. Instead, he collected his things and went to leave.

“I didn’t want all this.” He called from the door. “It wasn’t supposed to end up this way.”

“Yeah, you worked so hard to keep it from me.” You countered. “Good luck when Frank finds out.”

The door closed soon after and you found your phone. You scrolled your contacts until Karen’s name popped up. You had met the woman when her friends were defending Frank in court and you two had stayed decent friends. You texted and said you had seen the news about Frank and asked if she could help you get in touch with him.

karen (lawyer): just put flowers in the window

[russosafehaven]

Fantastical Felines

Pairing: Billy Russo x Fem!Reader

Content: Childhood Best Friends to Lovers, Reader has a cat, Billy hates cats, Billy is jealous of said cat

POV: Second

BR Taglist: @snowkestrel @judig92 @k-marzolf

~

When you send the first care package to Billy when he was enlisted in Kandahar he didn’t expect it. It was the standard stuff you usually sent, toothpaste, snacks and of course samples of whatever project you were working on. This package however came with a stuffed animal, a black cat. Frank looked at it with a questioning brow. In the letter were photos of two cats, one ginger and one black.

Hey Billy,

The apartments lonely without you so I got some cats. The black cat is named Wilhelma, the feminine version of William. She’s a lot like you, hates everyone except for the ginger kitty. His name is Lucky. I know you hate cats but I miss you so fucking much Billy. It hurts being away from you. On the plus side I may or may not have passed the Bar!! I’m officially a lawyer!! Some of my friends from college have thought about starting a firm together. I think I might, fight for the little guy you know? Fight for kids like you and me. Anyways I added a plush because I know you get lonely, I actually made it myself. She has a little pouch of lavender in her chest to help you sleep. I know how you’ve told me it’s hard to sleep in the heat, I thought it might help. I can’t wait until your deployments over. Oh I’ve also added some photos of the kitty’s, they’ve been keeping me company. Some of the photo’s have Foggy and Matt in them so sorry about that.

Your Love, Y/N

Billy grimaced, you looked so happy while holding your new cats. It made him hurt that you had named one after him. Why couldn’t he be there holding you? You were his best friend and he gave up on you. He looked over at Frank who was snickering.

“You jealous of a cat brother?”

[peterman-spideyparker]

Mr. Russo (Billy Russo x Secretary!Reader)

Author’s Note: I’ve had this fic and other Billy Russo stories in my drafts for ages, and I figured while I was working on other Daredevil and Moon Knight fics, I’d throw in some of these older ones that I’ve never posted. I think the original intention was for this to be longer and a multi-part series, but I don’t like that idea anymore. I cut about a thousand words, and I might include those as a bonus separate part--I’m not sure yet. Enjoy! :)

Summary: Working for Billy Russo wasn’t a challenge like most people would expect. You know how to do your job and how to do it well. One late night of working allows something about your past come to the surface, changing the trajectory of the relationship you share with your boss.

Warnings: Fluff, Billy softening up, angst (mentions of crappy experience in New York and the foster care system/Billy Russo being brooding and sad/hurt and rage/delicious tension), implied smut, cursing, mentions of addiction (drugs/alcohol)

Other Characters: Frank Castle

Word Count: 5,495

Another day in the books. Although everyday at Anvil is never the same, it can get a little monotonous. You answer the phone, respond to emails, draw up contacts, and do whatever Mr. Russo needs.

Oh, Mr. William Russo.

Intelligent, suave, cultured, and the definition of sex on two legs.

He works so hard in his business, and he cares about what he does. Anything that you can do to make his day less stressful, you’ll do it, and that definitely came in handy today, even if it still is a late night for him. You catch a glimpse at the clock on your screen—7:14pm. With a tired sigh, you hear him shuffle some papers around and push his chair out, moving a short distance to slide on his coat. You hear the click of his Italian leather shoes move closer to where you sit, and you smell his expensive cologne in the gentle breeze he brings by. You watch him as he walks with a purpose when he stops in his tracks, turning around to address you. “Do you ever even go home?” he asks.

“Sir?” you ask, unsure where he’s going with this.

“You’re always here before I get here—no matter how early—and you always stay after me. I just don’t get it.”

“I do my job,” you tell him. “It’s that simple. I do it, and I make sure that I do it well.”

“You also deserve a break—a life. Don’t you have friends around to go out for a drink or anything?”

“No, actually,” you admit. “Last friend I made in New York was one from when I got here. She then took 180 dollars from my wallet and ran away, making me scrape by for food for the rest of that week. My family isn’t nearby, either, if that was your next question. Work—this—is all I have, really.” Oh God, do you sound pathetic.

“Where is your family?” Mr. Russo asks, slowly moving back to your desk.

You scrunch up your bottom lip in a frown and shake your head. “I don’t know. I grew up in the system. I’m assuming whoever my parents are, they live in the Boston area, since that’s were I grew up.”

His expression softens to something to one that you have only seen twice before. It’s not quite pity, but it’s deeper than sadness. “You grew up in the system?” he asks softly.

You give a small nod. “It changes you pretty quickly.”

“It does.” His lips part like he wants to say something more, but he presses them in a tight line and sticks his hand in his jacket pocket, his eyes swirling with a mix of emotions. 

“Is there anything I can do for you before you leave, Mr. Russo?”

He blinks a few times before he shakes his head. “N-No,” Billy breathes. “Have a nice night, (Y/N).”

“You too, sir.”

There’s flowers on your desk when you walk in the next morning. How are there flowers on your desk?

“Hello?” you call into the office, sliding pepper spray out of your purse. “Anyone here?” Dead silence. Nothing looks out of place except for the bouquet, and after a quick sweep of the office, you see that you are alone. You look through the flowers and don’t see any card. Logging into your computer, you quickly pull up surveillance to see who delivered these. Your jaw drops when you see Mr. William Russo himself walk in at four in the morning with the same giant vase of flowers to your right. You lean back in your chair, your brain not really comprehending what you just saw. After a few minutes, you move towards the beautiful assortment of white gardenias, yellow lilies, red tulips, and magenta lilacs. You stick your nose to the flowers and take in a perfume of scents that make your chest happy and bring a smile to your face, and that smile remains on your face as you get to work and organize Billy’s day.

“Mornin’,” Billy says with a nod, walking a few hours later, not acknowledging the assortment on your desk.

“Morning,” you respond as he moves closer. “Thank you,” you say just before he enters his office. You don’t need to turn around to know exactly where he is—about a stride and a half from being in the doorway to his office, his right foot mid-step. “They’re beautiful.”

He doesn’t respond, but he takes a minute before he continues his gait into his office. 

The rest of the day proceeds as it normally does: you respond to client emails, answer the phones, do other office work, and hand Billy files, briefing him before his meetings.

“Have a nice night, (Y/N),” he says, adjusting his scarf on his peacoat as he walks past your desk.

“You too, sir,” you say. “And remember you have a 7:30 meeting tomorrow morning at the Four Seasons with Thaddeus Ross to discuss security for the SHIELD weapons conference.”

“Thank you for the reminder,” he says, turning to look at you, flashing you the faintest of smiles. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well, considering you built this company from the ground up, I think you’d manage.” His smile grows a hair bigger. “Safe travels, Mr. Russo.”

The next few weeks proceed as they usually do, but you are dumbfounded yet again when you walk in Monday, about a month after you found the flowers on your desk.

“Morning,” Billy says, placing a coffee cup on your desk as he walks by. “Sweet cream cold brew, right?”

You turn in your chair and look at him, confusion and surprise written all over your face.

“Yeah,” you say. You notice he has a hot cup for himself in his hands. “You hate Starbucks.”

“I needed some extra caffeine this morning,” he shrugs.

“So the ‘shit-water jet fuel’ is what you were craving this morning?”

He nods, taking a sip of the drink in his hand. “Exactly,” he answers after he swallows. You can tell he still hates the brew.

“Well, thank you for thinking of me,” you say. “If you find yourself needing some more caffeine, just let me know and I’ll make a pot.”

His face says I’ll be taking you up on that in five minutes, but his lips say, “Thanks, (Y/N).”

The next morning, there is a bouquet of blush colored peonies, white gardenias, and purple roses on your desk.

“Vultures today, huh?” Billy says as he comes out of his office and to your desk, placing some outgoing mail in your organizer, adjusting some of the flowers in the assortment of roses, chrysanthemums, and asters. “That phone hasn’t stopped ringing all morning.”

“It’s the political season,” you hum as you shift your gaze upward. “All the big wigs want the best security money can buy. You’ve made it clear that you and your people are the ones for that job.”

“You know how to flatter a man,” he chuckles, shaking some nuts you’re snacking on in his hand before plopping them in his mouth. 

“While you’re here,” you say, picking up a few slips of paper, handing them to him in an ordered fashion. “These are those calls back you were waiting for, these are inquiries from the three biggest politicians running for Senate, this is a message from Frank wanting to know if you’re on for dinner at Karen’s, and these are the Ulrich files you were waiting on.”

“Thank you, paperwork Santa,” he says, moving his gaze to quickly examine what is in front of him. “And here I thought it was gonna be a slow day.”

“Around here? Unlikely,” you grin.

He is about to say something more when he turns his head to the ringing of his direct line in his office. “Sorry,” he apologizes. “We’ll talk more later.”

You turn back to your computer in astonishment. We’ll talk more later? Is this the same Billy Russo that hired you? And does he mean casual talk or work talk? He would have made it clear, wouldn’t he?

“Anvil, this is (Y/N),” you say as you continue typing a contract on your desktop.

“(Y/N), hi,” you hear Mr. Russo say on the other end of the line.

“Is everything alright, sir?” you ask, spinning around in your chair and watching your boss  give you a little wave through the industrial loft windows.

“We’ve been over this, you can call me Billy,” he reminds. “We’ve known each other long enough.”

“Sorry, it’s a force of habit.” You have to suppress a blush. “What’s going on?”

“I just got off of a call about that veteran’s fundraiser,” he says, and you shift to flip through the calendar.

“The one on Saturday night?”

“Exactly. They asked me to present an award and introduce a speaker that night. So in addition to networking and schmoozing, I’m gonna need to do some more things.”

“Let me know what you need to have ready, and it’ll be good to go by Friday night.”

“Actually, I was hoping you’d come with me Saturday. With my upgrade in duties, they gave me a plus one.”

What? “I appreciate the invitation, but I don’t know if I have anything black tie like that,” you say. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll have it all taken care of. So can I take that as I yes?”

“Y-Yes,” you stutter. “And—.”

“Perfect, you’re the best,” he says, having up the phone with a click.

Did your boss just ask you out? Or is this really just a work engagement?

When you come home from work on Friday, you see a black dress bag hanging off a garment rack with black bag hanging next to it. Locking up and putting down your things on the table by your door, you slowly move over to it.

“Told you I had it taken care of,” the note reads on the bag.

“What did you do, Russo?” you breathe, undoing the zipper. Inside, there is a stunning pine green gown. You look at the label and your mouth drops open: Oscar de la Renta. Taking it out of the bag, you see that it has a v-back, but has fabric coming off of each shoulder to give it a kind of cape effect. You feel like you’re moving in slow motion when you dare look over at the jewelry bag on the right next to it, seeing Harry Winston embossed in gold lettering. Carefully, you take it off of the hangar and peak inside, seeing three boxes neatly arranged. Placing it on your breakfast bar, you pull out the large necklace box, opening it to reveal both a sparkling diamond necklace and its matching earrings. Shocked, you pull the other two boxes out and find that they are the corresponding bracelet and ring. As you look down in disbelief, you catch a Louis Vuitton shoe box at the bottom of the rack.

You sit down on the barstool, lightheaded about the luxury that is around you. As if on cue, you see Billy’s contact light up on your phone.

“I’m assuming you’ve seen what you’ll be wearing tomorrow?” he says after you pick up.

“It’s way too much,” you say. “I appreciate it, but all this is more—it’s too much.”

“It fits the event,” he shrugs off. “It’s a ritzy event full of high-rolling investors, contributors, and other people within the top one per cent. Trust me, you’ll fit right in.”

“I just . . .”

“It’s a lot?” You swear he’s smiling like a devil on the other end.

“A hell of a lot.”

“If it makes you feel any better, the jewelry is on loan,” he says. “But the dress and shoes are yours to keep. Oh, and before I forget, you have an appointment to get your hair and nails done tomorrow with Donna at the Marigold Spa. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Before your brain can think to ask him more, he is off the line, leaving you stunned in your apartment. 

“Who is it?” you call from your apartment, responding to the rap at the door.

“Your chariot has arrived,” Billy says through the wood.

“I’m almost ready,” you say, nearly falling over as you try to put on the heels standing up. “Come in! It’s open.” You hear the door open and shut, and the click of expensive shoes against the vinyl floor.

“You know, for someone that works for a security company, leaving the door unlocked isn’t secure,” he teases.

“I knew you’d be over soon and I was still getting ready,” you say. “Just a courtesy.”

“To robbers.”

You chuckle as you successfully gain your footing in one of the shoes. “There’s water in the fridge if you’re thirsty,” you start as you slide on the other shoe, throwing a few last minute things in your clutch, and taking one final look at yourself in the mirror.

“I’m good," you hear him chuckle in a low timbre as you clack your way out of your room. “Thank you, though.”

“Alright, I’m all set to go,” you say as you enter the main living space.

Billy turns toward you and stands stock still. His eyes slowly look over your body from head to toe. It’s as if he’s drinking you in.

“Wow,” he finally says, his dark eyes twinkling in the lights of your kitchen.

“Well, the guy that picked it out has really good taste,” you say with a small grin and a blush rising up from your neck to your cheeks. “Thank you.”

He continues to look at you for a little while longer before he realizes that he’s staring.

“These are for you,” he says, holding out a bouquet of burgundy, cream, and lavender roses. “A little thank you for agreeing to come.”

“They’re beautiful,” you say, smelling them. You move to find a vase, getting the flowers settled before walking back towards Billy.

He puts out his arm for you to take.

“Shall we?”

“I still can’t figure out how you manage to do it,” you say as you walk beside Billy after he schmoozes the last of the big-wigs in tuxedos.

“Do what?” Billy asks with a lift of his eyebrow.

“Work so well with these upper-crusty people. Some of them very clearly just a face at this fundraiser and don’t care the same way you do. I don’t know if I could do that.”

“Unfortunately, that’s just what the business is sometimes,” he sighs. “But then I remember that Anvil gives veterans an outlet when they get home—a legitimate career. Then it makes the schmoozing and pretending to care about their Hamptons houses easier.”

“That’s a great way to think about it,” you say softly. 

“Sometimes that’s all you can do.”

Instead of walking to the direction of your table, Billy leads you to the edge of the dance floor.

“Care do dance?” Billy smiles.

“I can’t promise that I won’t step on your toes,” you say, feeling a blush prick at your cheeks and your ears.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll have the band play something slow.”

You wouldn’t be surprised if his Marine-trained ears could hear how hard your heart is beating. 

“How can I say no to that, then?” you say with a small smile, your mouth suddenly very dry.

Billy takes your hand and leads you in. As if the band knows, the song shifts to something slow. Billy holds one of your hands in his while the other rests on the small of your back, his palm spread wide, securely holding you as you both move across the floor.

“And here I was thinking you had two left feet,” he grins.

“Well, I guess it helps that it’s not a formal ballroom dance,” you blush. Seriously, he has to know how fast your heart is racing right now.

“Is this what you thought you’d be doing with your life?” Billy asks as you slowly move in a circle. “Being a secretary, dealing with executives and government officials, and going to charity fundraisers?”

“Isn’t it every little girls dream?” you smirk, quirking an eyebrow.

He chuckles, twirling you to the music before he pulls you back into frame.

“No, really,” Billy whispers. “What did you want to be when you were younger?”

You think about it, but only briefly. “An author, I think. With all the time I spent in the system, I always tried to figure out how I could get out or what it would be like when I did. I’d just write about it. It moved from that to creating these different worlds and different people that were everything that I wasn’t and everything that I couldn’t be. Those are what made me happy. Scholarships from those stories is what got me through college to get my undergrad.”

There’s something soft in his eyes, tender even, as he listens to you talk about your childhood dream. It’s soul-churning and completely devastating in every sense of the word.

“What about you?” you return. “I’m assuming that the military wasn’t six-year-old Billy’s dream.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he admits. “I wanted to be a baseball player. But there were things that happened when I was a kid . . .” He clears his throat. You’ve touched a nerve.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—.”

“No, it’s okay. Saying that my childhood was shitty is an understatement, but it made me who I am and brought me here. In a way, I think the Marines was the only thing that made sense for me.” He gives you a gentle smile, pushing away the dark cloud that emerged on his face. “And just think: without it, we wouldn’t have met. And I don’t know about you, but our time together makes me happier.”

Your heart stops and leaps into your throat. He has to just mean as a coworker—maybe just even someone who isn’t an ex-Marine that he gets to see to break up his environment. You can’t let your mind go to these conclusions. It’d just be a disappointment, and he’s my boss. Still, you find yourself unable to look away from his hypnotic gaze, the tenderness in his expression making you melt. The song stops and he drops the frame, and you let your eyes flutter a few times so you can adjust your head out of the haze he has placed you in. Billy keeps his hand in yours as you stand, pointing his head towards your table. 

“C’mon,” he says. “I heard the steak was supposed to be amazing.”

“Did you have fun tonight?” Billy asks as you hand him a bottle of water, his elbow cooly leaning against the island.

“Surprisingly, yes,” you admit, taking off the heavy jewels. “I don’t know, I hear fancy fundraiser, and I don’t think ‘party.’”

“That’s cuz you’ve never been to a Billy Russo fundraiser,” he smirks.

“I guess those are the only ones worth going to, then.”

“You know, I’m really glad you came tonight.”

“You are?”

“You sound surprised.”

“Oh,” you blush, but a nagging question starts to echo in the back of your brain. “I-I didn’t mean to. Just tired.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I’ll let you be for the night,” he says with a soft smile, giving you hand a gentle squeeze on the island before he moves away. “See you Monday, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. 

Okay, that’s it.

“Are you only being nice to me because you found out I grew up in foster care?” you blurt as he walks towards the door. There’s no turning back now. “Before, you’d never say more than you needed to to me, and now for five months, you’ve gotten me flowers, you ask about my day, you know my coffee order, and you left me an insanely gorgeous gown and jewelry to wear to a fundraiser that I wasn’t supposed to go to in the first place.” You pause for a moment, processing that you’re probably running a bond that you’ve wanted for a long time, not to mention your job, probably. “What’s changed?”

“You know I grew up in the system?” he asks, his head turned to the side while his back is still to you.

“I do,” you answer. You had done some deep digging when you were applying for the job, trying to find out as much about the company and its founder as possible.

“Then you should realize that I sympathize with you. Pouring your life into something to move yourself as far away from your past as possible.”

“What I’m really hearing is that all of this from the last few months has just been pity,” you say bitterly, and you try to push away the feeling of tears stinging at your waterline. “And if that’s what this job has turned into, then I don’t need it. I know my worth, and it’s more than that—than whatever this is.”

Your statement causes him to spin around so fast you think he’s gonna get whiplash. He strides over to you so quickly you almost can’t process it. He drops his keys to the ground before kissing you hard, one hand on your waist as the other holds onto the back of your head. He almost knocks you off your feet, but his hands on your body assure that it can’t be a possibility. Your hands rest on his shoulder as your lips move against him, kissing him back just as urgently. His beard tickles a little, but you’re not moving in a way that makes it scratch. When Billy finally pulls away, you’re both left panting for air.

“It’s not pity,” he clarifies. “It’s admiration. I had always thought you were some brown-noser with daddy issues, but you always had this integrity and determination. And then . . .” he trails, his eyes intent and glassy. “I know that drive you have, and that fear of being a disappointment. Hell, that’s how I got here. I wanted to show you that we’re not that shit that happened to us. I wanted to show you that I care.”

“It’s a hell of a way to show it,” you say quietly, looking at his big brown eyes. “I, um . . .” you swallow hard and let emotion contort your face, reeling your feelings in before you continue. “Every time someone finds out, they treat me differently. I really didn’t want you to be one of those people. You might not have thought so, but the way you treated me before made me feel like I finally had a place, y’know? I had a purpose to do something. That I was needed and wanted.”

“I know,” he nods.

“I guess I’m just confused why now.” 

“You’ve been my secretary for four years. You know things about me that I don’t even know all the time. You know things about me that you don’t need to know, but you care enough to. I’ve always wanted to know those things about you, but . . . I’m not great at communication with people that—.” He stops to clear his throat, furrowing his brows together. “The only good relationships I have are with Frank and Curtis, and that’s because we’ve been through hell and back with and for one another. I didn’t know where to start with you, because you just come in and you’re like this . . . force to be reckoned with. I guess that finding out we had something in common made me think I could know you better.”

Billy tucks some stray hair behind your ear as he looks at you. “I don’t want to go back to what this was before,” he says softly. “I like this. Having a friend. Connecting with someone. And . . . I like to think this has the potential to be more than that. Than friends.” 

“Well, I guess I need to know if you kiss all your friends like that.”

A small smile spreads across Billy’s face. “Just the ones that use lemon shampoo and look good in designer dresses.”

“I’m not fired, am I?” you whisper. “Because I think a kiss like that is some kind of HR violation.”

“Not if you don’t want to be,” he responds. “I will say, though, the job market is tough right now.”

“Is this something we can do?”

“I’m willing to make it work if you are.”

You nod your head. “Let’s try it.”

Billy leans back in for a kiss, this one more gentle that the last, but just as deep. Your arms wrap around him and settle on his back, and you feel him lift you up slightly as he pulls you into him.

“We’re gonna do this slowly,” he breathes, brushing his nose against yours, his chocolate eyes staring into your soul.

“Okay,” you quietly agree. “Slow.”

“We have different definitions of slow,” you hum as Billy presses a kiss to the back of your naked shoulder.

“Trust me, I wanted to, but I have a thing for brunettes in designer dresses,” he says, dragging his hands down the bare curves of your body in post-sex bliss. “And it looks just as good on the floor as it did on you tonight.”

You laugh as you roll onto your back, your head resting on his shoulder. 

“Hi,” he says with a dreamy look on his face.

“Hi,” you say, returning his gaze. He leans down and presses a soft, tender kiss to your lips before resting his cheek on the crown of your head. You lay like this in blissful silence as his fingers play with yours, the pale moonlight trickling into your bedroom through the curtains. You think he has fallen asleep—and you almost have—when he shifts a little on the mattress.

“Did you ever think of finding them?” he asks quietly. You know exactly who “them” is.

“I did find them,” you say. “I found out all about them, too. A little after I told you about growing up in the system, actually—curiosity got the best of me.” You think about what you know, and the silence weighs heavy in the bedroom. “My father was an alcoholic, and my mother used all kinds of drugs. They had a short and nasty relationship and split before I was born. My dad worked on the docks, showed up one day drunk, hit is head, and drowned. Based on his obituary, I was six when he died. My mom sobered up around that time, got married, and lives in Cape Cod.” You feel hot, angry tears sting at your waterline. “Two kids, and a freakin golden retriever.”

“And I’m guessing you don’t want to reach out?” he asks carefully.

You scoff. “No. Didn’t want me then, won’t want me now. I’m a part of that past that she worked to forget. I don’t want to go near her with a ten-foot pole. Besides, if she wanted to know me, she’d find me. She’d find a way. And she hasn’t. That says all I need to know.”

Billy wraps his arm around you and pulls you close, pressing a long kiss to your forehead.

“She’s missing out on the best person that I know,” he whispers.

Too emotional to respond, you snuggle into him and nuzzle your head into the crook of his neck.

“Have you?” you whisper. “Found yours?”

“I found my mom,” he swallows. “She chose meth over me—she safe-havened me. From then on it was group homes.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I think I’ve made my peace with it all. Can’t change it. But it made me who I am, and I’m okay with who I am.”

You don’t ask any more onto the subject. Instead, you snuggle in closer to him.

“For what it’s worth,” you breathe. “I really like who you are, too.”

Billy turns so you’re huddled together chest-to-chest, his arms holding onto you tightly, kissing your forehead before tucking your head under his chin. You fall asleep to the sound of his beating heart.

You practically jump out of your skin when you feel a pair of arms loosely wrap around your middle.

“Jesus, Billy,” you sigh. “You really don’t make a sound if you’re not wearing Italian leather shoes.”

His laugh comes out as a hum as he places a kiss on the back of your neck, right on a bundle of nerves he found out about last night.

“I woke up and you weren’t there,” he murmurs into your skin. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” you grin as you turn the waffle maker.

He kisses your neck again before resting his chin on your shoulder. “I thought the guy was supposed to make breakfast.”

“Not in my house,” you say, running your fingers through his hair as you move to flip some bacon. “My place, my job to make you some food.”

“Fine,” he sighs, moving from you, but not before placing a light smack on your rear. “But I make the coffee.”

“You want any eggs?” you ask.

“Nah,” he says, pouring coffee grounds into the filter. “This all is more than enough. I don’t usually get to enjoy this part.”

“Well, if we’re gonna make a habit of this, it’s something you better get used to.”

You finish making breakfast in harmony, exchanging sections of the newspaper as you eat.

“Wow,” Billy chews, taking a sip of his coffee. “You’re destroying the crossword.”

“It’s a talent,” you smirk as you pause before filling in the rest of your answer. “Now, is it ‘ei’ or ‘ie’ in Steinbeck? I can never remember.”

“I guess you got cocky too soon,” he smiles.

“Yes, and I’m big enough to admit it. Which is it?”

“I’ll tell you, but it’ll cost ya.”

“Oh?” you say as his hand slides into mine, silently inviting you to get up and sit in his lap. You do, and his free hand squeezes your thigh.

“It’s gonna cost you a kiss,” he hums.

“Mm, you run a hard bargain, but I think I can afford that,” you smile, biting your lip as you press your mouth into his. It’s tender, and even with coffee in your systems, there’s something sexily sleepy about the embrace.

“It’s ‘ei’,” he breathes, his lips brushing against yours before placing another kiss on you lips.

“Thank you,” you say, filling in the squares and placing a soft kiss on the freckle just below his eye. His hand then gently holds your cheek, bringing your lips down to his. The kisses grow more needy, and just after he adjusts you so your legs straddle his lap, his phone starts to ring. Reluctantly, he pulls away and looks at his phone.

“Shit,” he hisses before he answers. “Hey, Frankie.”

“Brother, where are you?” you hear Frank ask through the phone.

“Yeah, no, I’m on my way,” he sighs. “I just got a little held up this morning.”

“Mm, yeah,” you hear him chuckle. “Where’d you find this one?”

Billy looks at you with warm, sparkling eyes. “I think she found me.”

“And the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day.”

“Yeah, shut up,” he chuckles. “I’ll be there soon.”

Billy hangs up to avoid any more snark over the line from his friend, but not before kissing you once more.

“I didn’t realize it was this late,” he sighs. “I’m sorry. I gotta go.”

“I know: ten o’clock runs with Frank, every Sunday. And if you go by the office, you have some extra workout clothes there so you don’t have to run in a tuxedo.”

“Nothin’ gets by you.”

“Nope,” you smile, popping the ‘p’.

You get up from his lap and begin to clean up the table while Billy moves back to your room to get his clothes.

“I will trade you one dress shirt for one very soft and fluffy robe,” he offers when he comes back into the kitchen, your Hello Kitty robe hanging from his finger.

“I guess I accept,” you sigh dramatically. You slide Billy’s shirt off of your body and hand it to him as he slides the robe onto your shoulders.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks, adjusting the collar on your robe.

“Tomorrow,” you nod. “Have fun with Frank.”

“Somethin’ tells me I’d be havin’ more fun here.”

He leans down to kiss you, repeatedly procrastinating his delay with each punctuation of his lips.

“Okay,” he kisses. “I’ll see you—.” Kiss. “—tomorrow morning—.” Kiss. “—bright—.” Kiss. “—and—.” Kiss. “—early.”

You giggle as he takes you in for more kisses. You pull away from his reach, only to be swept back in for one final kiss.

“I really gotta go, now,” he sighs, tucking hair behind your ear.

“I know. I’ll see you soon.”

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[e-dubbc11]

The Sweetest Pain

Pt. 2

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Smexy time alludes to sex so 18+please or I’m telling on you, jealous reader, and of course some fluff

Word Count: 5.3k-ish

Summary: After being friends with your tattoo artist for six years and confessing your true feelings for each other, you finally go out on your first date. Billy starts in on another session of your octopus tattoo and introduces you to the new artist he hired who seems a little too friendly with him.

A/N: Read part one HERE. I’ve had a lot of fun working on this second part and my dear friend Lily @munsonownsmyass has been working hard on her own fic that is adjacent to this little series which I am SO excited for you guys to read. This little collaboration has been a lot of fun, the back and forth chatting about it, everything about it has brought a smile to my face and I hope it will for you too. Read Lily’s Mark Upon Your Skin HERE

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

“But I wanna see you tomorrow…for dinner.”

His command had been wandering through your head all day as you bit down on your lower lip to try and keep from smiling but it was impossible.

You could still smell the intoxicating combination of his cologne and his natural scent on the sweatshirt he placed over your shoulders when he took you home last night, it had been chillier than you expected when the two of you left the studio.

The sweatshirt had his shop logo on it and as you motioned to remove it after arriving at your apartment, Billy told you to “Keep it, I know the guy that owns the shop. I can always get another one.” And he pulled you in close for another kiss, his lips were soft, his hands were gently cupping your cheeks and moving their way down around your neck.

They came to rest around your waist, his kisses became hungrier as he pressed you up against the wall. You didn’t want him to leave, you had wanted this for so long and now it was actually happening.

The man you have been friends with for six years, who has tattooed you countless times in those six years was now kissing you and exploring your body with his skilled hands.

You had hooked your leg around his and pulled him closer to you and he was careful not to touch the top of your thigh no matter how much he wanted to because he had just tattooed it.

“You still taking me to dinner tomorrow night, handsome?” You asked him.

He pulled away from kissing your neck. “If we keep this up, I may end up taking you to breakfast.”

You liked the way that sounded but not tonight so you pulled away.

“Alright, alright stud…I gotta get up for work in the morning anyway. This is really nice though.” You had said with a slight smile.

He leaned forward to place a soft kiss on your lips and then flashed you that perfect smile again. “I like kissing you too.” He said with a warm smile. “I’ll call you when I wake up tomorrow. Goodnight, beautiful.”

“Goodnight, Billy. Sweet dreams.” You said.

He kissed you on the forehead before saying “They will be now.”

That was all you could think about while you were at work today, like you could still feel Billy’s firm lips on yours, on your neck, and his hands everywhere else.

You had to make excuses of why you were daydreaming, even while you were in a meeting. You couldn’t do anything BUT think of him, it brought a smile to your face and you were very excited about dinner tonight.

He called you in the morning just like he said he would. That’s something you could get used to, no guy you’ve ever dated called when they said they were going to.

You could tell Billy had a smile on his face on the other end of the phone, the smooth velvet tone to his voice as he said your name gave you flutters all over, and the childlike excitement in his voice when he said he was looking forward to your date tonight made your heart skip a beat.

He said he was taking you to a restaurant/bar called The Wicked Monk. It wasn’t too far from his shop in Brooklyn and he had asked if going to a bar was ok with you.

Billy obviously wasn’t a three-piece suit kind of guy, and it seemed like he was concerned that going to a bar wouldn’t be good enough for you.

“Yeah? Are you sure that’s ok?” He asked timidly.

“Of course, Billy. Why wouldn’t it be?” You asked him.

There was a long pause. “Because—some women I’ve dated wanted to be wined and dined at 5 star restaurants. I’m a tattoo artist, I don’t work on Wall Street. And I’m not gonna pretend to be somethin’ I’m not.”

“You don’t have to pretend with me, Billy. If I don’t like something, believe me I’m gonna tell you about it. Sometimes my mouth gets me into a bit of trouble so strap in, I hope you’re ready for that.” You said.

He laughed, a real genuine laugh. It was difficult to get a laugh out of Billy. “Oh I knew I was gonna have my hands full with you, my little firecracker. I can’t wait to see you later.”

“I’m excited to see you too, handsome. I’ll text you when I’m on my lunch break.” You said.

The rest of your work day seemed to take forever, of course it did because you had something to look forward to tonight.

On your way home, you were trying to picture in your head of what you wanted to wear tonight. You went with casual but a little sexy, jeans and a black top with lace sleeves along with your black leather jacket.

Billy’s face froze when you opened the door to greet him, he tried hard not to eye you from head to toe but he couldn’t help himself.

“Holy shit.” He stated. “You look amazing, y/n. You sure you still wanna go out orrrrrr?” He placed his hands on your hips and his tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip.

“Billy Russo!” You playfully slapped his shoulder. “I’m hungry so yes, I still wanna go out.” A little laugh escaped your mouth and you felt yourself start to blush.

“Ah, now I’m making YOU blush!” He said excitedly as he pulled you in close, his eyes like two pieces of onyx staring down at you like you were the only woman in the world.

You were crazy about him.

“I wanna give you a kiss but I don’t wanna mess up your lipstick. I love the red, baby. So I’ll just do this…for now.” He drew your hand up to meet his lips and he planted a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

“I’ll let you kiss me later, let’s move soldier!” You said.

Billy just shook his head back and forth, smiling as you took his hand in yours and led him out of your apartment building.

Always a gentleman, Billy walked on the outside of the sidewalk next to the road, held you close to him, protecting you, opened the door for you and pulled out your chair. They seated you at a cozy table in the back, in front of the large wooden door with the word Guinness painted on it.

There was a lot to look at inside the intimate little Irish bar, stone walls, stained glass windows, even part of the ceiling was stained glass made to look like an amusing version of Michelangelo’s mural on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with cheerful monks holding up mugs of beer.

“Well this is a fun place, I’ve never been here before.” You said, removing your jacket and draping it off the back of your chair.

Billy removed his leather jacket as well, looking as handsome as ever in a black Henley shirt and dark jeans.

“Yeah some of the stained glass and wood fixtures are actually from a chapel in Ireland.” He told you.

“Look at you, spouting off facts and shit. You tryin’ to impress me or somethin’, Russo? You could be makin’ all that shit up, for all I know.” You asked.

“Depends…is it working?” Billy asked with a wink.

“Maybe…” You said with kind eyes and a slight smile.

You had such a nice time with him. The conversation was easy, the food was good, and of course Guinness on tap is delicious. Billy held your hand across the table, ran his thumb across your knuckles as he stared down at the rose he tattooed on your hand a few years ago, then slowly traced the outline of the petals with his long nimble fingers.

Still looking down at the rose, he asked. “Remember when I did this one?”

He brought his gaze up to meet yours when you answered him.

“I remember them all, Billy.” You whispered only loud enough for him to hear.

“You’re making me blush again, y/n!” A little embarrassed, his eyes darted from your gaze quickly before returning to have his eyes meet yours again.

“That night was a fun one though, you got to tattoo me AND my best friend.” You said.

“I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time, you two are somethin’ else.” Said Billy.

You leaned across the table to place a gentle kiss on his lips. “I like making you laugh, Billy. You deserve to.”

He kissed you back, a tint of red from your lipstick appeared on his lips that you went to wipe away when he kissed your thumb.

“You wanna get outta here? Go for a walk down by the water?” He asked.

“I’d love to.” You replied.

Walking arm in arm, the breeze down by the water felt amazing against your warm skin which was all Billy’s doing. The man gave you butterflies in your stomach and sent a surge of heat throughout the rest of your body.

You didn’t even notice the cold on the unseasonably cool spring night, he warmed you up from the top of your head all the way down to your toes.

He asked you a lot of questions like what the relationship was like between you and your parents. You told him your parents divorced when you were 12, your mom re-married not even a year after the divorce was final and had another baby.

She never gave a second thought to the children she already had, and you felt like she resented you because you looked and acted so much like your father.

Billy asked if you started getting tattoos to piss off your mother, which made you laugh. Jokingly, you told him that was only part of the reason, but you’ve just always loved them and within the past few years you finally were making the money you needed to support your “ink habit.” And that made him laugh.

“It was something that I loved, that made me happy. She once told me ‘no man wants a woman that’s permanently marked up her body.’ She just never liked to see me happy, Billy. Whenever I was, she would do everything in her power to try and take it away from me by making me feel bad about myself. That was her way of trying to manipulate me into someone she wanted me to be.” You said, trying to look away from him so he wouldn’t see the tears in your eyes.

“Sweet girl, look at me.” He demanded, as you turned to look at him. His voice was breathless with anger. “There is nothing I love more than seeing your beautiful smile or listening to your laugh and I am so sorry she tried to take that away from you. I hate seeing those tears in your eyes.”

With rage his eyes, he gnashed his teeth as he said. “I guess neither of our mothers are winning Mother of the Year awards, are they.”

“No, no they’re definitely not.” You replied with a slight smile and a bitter laugh.

As your tears spilled over and ran down your cheeks, he wiped them away before tilting your chin up to look into those hypnotic dark brown eyes and he did his best to kiss your tears away.

Billy’s lips eagerly pressed against yours, parting them, his tongue stroking against yours, and your fingers combed through his ebony colored hair.

His beard lightly scratched your chin and cheeks as he kissed up and down your neck, and back up to capture your lips once again. You gasped against his mouth and felt his breath on your eyelids.

He easily lifted the bottom of your shirt and his talented fingers skirted across the delicate skin on your stomach which sent a shiver of intense sharpness down your spine.

Breathless, you pulled away to ask him. “Do you want to go back to my place, maybe have a drink?”

“You sure, baby?” His eyes flashed with a little excitement.

You gave him a slightly wicked smile. “Well it’s either that or we’re goin’ down a few blocks to your shop and I’m kickin’ everyone out so I can fuck you in your tattoo chair.”

He was so surprised by your answer that he couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “My little firecracker.” He pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger and gave you a quick kiss.

After getting back to your apartment, the two of you enjoyed a glass of bourbon, talked more, laughed more, and he told you more stories about his time overseas.

They were mostly happy stories about his fellow marines, especially Frank. Billy didn’t like telling stories about the darker times of war but he didn’t mind sharing some with you.

He lifted his Henley and pulled the top of his jeans down a little, revealing a bullet wound scar on his hip. You sat facing each other on the couch, he rubbed strands of your hair in between his fingertips, and you inched closer to him so you could kiss him on the cheek.

There was a look of hurt at the back of Billy’s eyes, like he wanted to tell you something else but he just wasn’t ready so without another word, you just climbed into his lap, knees resting on either side of his hips and pressed down into him.

You could feel his hardening length press against you, twitching every time you leaned down to kiss him, and he let out a low moan when you moved to bite down gently on his earlobe.

Your hands traveled to his chest, down to the hem of his shirt and holding the soft material in between your fingers, lifted it up and over his head and discarded it on the floor.

His patriotic tattoo sleeve was in full view now. From the American flag, to the bald eagle, and every part in between, it was incredible. It went from his shoulder all the way down to his hand.

His Marine Corps. tattoo started from his wrist, and ended on the knuckles. You didn’t know it was possible but it made him even sexier.

Shocked at your own lack of restraint, you laced your fingers with his to pin them against the top of the couch and kissed him readily. You wanted him, you wanted him badly and that’s when he broke free from your grasp and started to unbutton your jeans.

“There’s more room in my bed, handsome.” You panted into his ear and started to stand up.

That’s all he needed to hear. He scooped you into his arms, headed for your bedroom and put you down at the foot of the bed while he hurriedly pulled your shirt off revealing the black lingerie you had on underneath.

Your hands were shaking slightly undoing his belt and the button on his jeans, forcefully pushing them down and hearing his belt hit the floor which left him in just his black boxer briefs.

The bristles of his beard scratched the curves of your breasts as he kissed in between them before slowly easing your jeans down to the floor. His dark hair fell into his eyes while you gently pulled on it, his impatient kisses became greedier, leaving little love bites down your torso to the inside of your thighs.

You always wondered what he’d look like on his knees in front of you, those thoughts weren’t just a dream anymore as you gazed down at him sliding your panties down your thighs pausing to place a gentle kiss just above your core that made you shudder.

Moving to the bed, you were suddenly underneath him, his strong hands holding your wrists together above your head and his knee spreading your legs apart.

You were almost embarrassed about how wet you were for him, playfully resisting, laughing and trying to move your wrists from underneath his hands because you wanted to touch him and you desperately wanted him inside you.

“I told you not to make me wait, Billy. I want you now.” You demanded.

Billy pulled on your bottom lip with his thumb and gave you a sly smile. “Whatever you want, baby.” He closed the distance between your faces to seize your lips again and covered your body with his own.

**********

Tangled in each other’s limbs, with the city lights dimly lighting up your bedroom, you rested your head on Billy’s chest, your leg draped over his and lightly ran your fingers up and down his tattoo sleeve. Stopping on his bicep, you noticed he had the words “Til Valhalla” tattooed there.

“Til Valhalla.” You whispered with a slight hitch in your voice.

Billy kissed the top of your head. “You know what it means, sweet girl?” He asked.

“It means you’ll see your Fallen again.” You said, grazing the words with your thumb.

Smiling against your hair, Billy asked. “Is there anything you DON’T know, baby?”

“Not really.” You said with a smile and lightly kissed his chest. “I’m so sorry, Billy. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you over there. Did you get this scar over there too?” You moved your fingers from his bicep to the longer scar on his shoulder.

Billy shuddered a little at your touch.

“I’m sorry—I shouldn’t have—“ You started to say.

He moved so he could look you in your eyes. “Oh no, y/n. It’s ok, baby—It’s…that’s where my rotator cuff was torn. It happened while I was at the group home. I just really don’t like—”

His body tensed underneath you and it was clear that Billy was uncomfortable talking about it, almost ashamed.

You interrupted him.

“Another time, Billy. You decide if and when you wanna tell me and I’ll be here.” You said with a warm smile.

Billy nodded. “Thank you, love.” You could tell he was grateful you didn’t ask any more questions. He picked his head up off of the pillow so he could touch his lips to yours.

“Goodnight, handsome.” You squeezed him tightly.

His body finally relaxed and he was able to fall asleep while you gently scratched his scalp with your fingernails. It was the most at peace you had ever seen him.

**********

The two weeks in between your tattoo appointments, Billy took you out as often as he could manage. You worked during the day and he worked mostly in the evenings so it was a little difficult to see each other but the two of you made it work.

And maybe it was a little premature but you were very much in love with him. Even though you had only been dating officially for a couple of weeks, you’ve been friends for six years, you talked almost daily, and you’ve shared a lot with each other in that time.

You had been as close as two people could be without the intimacy but that was two weeks ago and it was definitely a different relationship now. It felt…complete and you were hoping he felt the same way because for the first time in your life you had a boyfriend that made you incredibly happy.

Two weeks had flown by and it was time to go back and have Billy do more work on your octopus tattoo. You had a nice conversation with Frank while Billy readied his station for you.

“Bill told ya he hired a new artist, yeah?” He asked.

It had completely slipped your mind until Frank mentioned it but it all came flooding back to you when he did.

“OH! Yeah he did. He showed me some of her work the other night, it’s really good. What was her name again? Short stack?” You asked.

Frank let out a little chuckle. “Cake, sweetheart. Shortcake.”

“Short-CAKE! Shit, gotta remember that. Don’t wanna fuck up her name as soon as she comes in. That would be rude.” You said, a little embarrassed.

“Yeah, she’s done a little work on me—check it out.” Frank said as he moved his shirt so you could see the skull.

The detail was amazing for it being a small tattoo but it was rather impressive.

“Her line work is great.” You said.

Frank smirked. “Hey that’s what Bill said.”

“Really?” You said, narrowing your eyes a little.

Billy was completely in the dark as to what the two of you were talking about. “Huh? What’s that, Frankie?”

“I commented on Shortcake’s line work. Frank said you had a similar comment.” You said.

Billy winked at you and said. “I’m ready, baby. Come have a seat.”

Thinking that it may be different now that you and Billy were actually together but his touches still caused your nerves fire in every direction and caused your skin to erupt with goosebumps. His deep exhales hit the skin on your knee and it felt like the first time, every time.

Billy may have been working on you for about 30 minutes when Shortcake walked in. She said hello to everyone and stopped at Billy’s station on the way to hers to check out what he was working on. She leaned in close, maybe a little closer to Billy than you wanted her to, so she could get a good look at it.

“Wow! Billy, that’s incredible.” She said with a flirtatious smile.

Billy didn’t look up as he said “Thanks…” He paused to look at you. “Shortcake, this is my sweet girl. Baby, this is my new artist, Shortcake.”

You extended your hand for her to shake. “Hi there. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh jeez, I should have recognized you from your pictures. Why didn’t you tell me she was coming in today, Billy?! It’s nice to meet you too.” She said.

Maybe it was nothing but as the evening continued, the playful banter between Billy and Shortcake seemed a little too flirtatious. The way they joked around, made a few inappropriate comments, and all while you were sitting in between them.

Shortcake did try and make small talk with you. She told you how much she’s learning from Billy and what an amazing and talented tattoo artist he is.

You smiled, feeling like it was coming from a genuinely innocent place, but maybe she just doesn’t realize how flirtatious she was being and Billy reciprocating was starting to make your blood boil and you couldn’t take any more of it tonight.

“Billy, I uh think I need to call it a night. I’m a little tired.”

Billy had a look of concern on his face. “Are you sure, baby?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure.” You said, trying to smile.

After Billy put the tegaderm on, he started to clean up his station. “Well, I’ll clean up and take you home, ok?”

“It’s ok Billy, I know you’ve been teaching Shortcake some things after hours so I’ll let you do that, I can walk home by myself. It’s fine.” You said. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Before you could really give him a chance to argue, you walked over to him, planted a gentle kiss on his lips, said goodbye to everyone and left.

As soon as you closed the door to the shop, it was hard not to feel angry and suddenly your eyes welled up with tears.

They were flirting with each other right in front of you and you just couldn’t be around them right now. All you wanted was to go home and go to bed, you’d deal with all of this tomorrow.

**********

Billy texted a few times after you left the studio, wanting to know if you got home alright, if you were ok, and mentioned that he was going to be working with Shortcake during the day tomorrow and then a client in the evening but he wanted you to stop by because he wanted to see you.

Your eyes closed in relief, he wanted to see you even though he was busy tomorrow. Maybe you really were just overreacting to their banter, it’s a tattoo shop so of course conversations are going to be slightly inappropriate. They were just having fun.

You made sure to text him back.

Of course I’ll come see you tomorrow, handsome.

You followed it up with three heart emoji’s and planned to apologize in person for basically just up and leaving and why you did it.

Billy was definitely a man of routine, he called you the next morning like he had every morning for the past couple of weeks and even though he was busy at the shop, he made sure he was available to talk to you during your lunch break.

In the background, you could hear everyone in the shop heckling Billy because of how sweetly he was talking to you, how he was whispering into the phone and because of how happy they were saying he looked while doing it.

“I’ll see you after I get outta work, Billy.” You said.

He didn’t even try to hide the happiness in his voice in front of the other artists and you could picture very clearly, the smile he had stretched across his face.

“I can’t wait, beautiful. I’ll see you soon.” He said.

**********

Roaring laughter erupted from the other side of the shop door before you reached for the handle. Anytime you heard Billy laugh, it put a smile on your face. After closing the door behind you, he greeted you with a smile that could melt your insides.

Billy was watching while Shortcake worked on a handsome man wearing red tinted glasses, leaning in close to her, and smiling at her like he smiled at you.

You could feel your stomach clench in resentment, every muscle in your body stiffened, and your cheeks flamed with anger any time he touched her back, moved a stray hair away from her face so she’d be able to see better, or reciprocate after she said something flirtatious.

You couldn’t take it anymore.

“Billy? Can I talk to you for a minute out on the back deck? Please?” There was an acid burn of bitterness in your throat as you marched over to the back door and nearly ripped it off the hinges when you opened it.

The mood of the shop completely shifted. Suddenly, it was eerily quiet, no one was laughing, and the air inside quickly became thick with tension.

Billy followed you out to the back deck and closed the door so no one could hear anything.

“Is everything ok, y/n? You seem a little upset.” He asked.

“Oh you picked up on that, huh?!” Sarcasm dripping from your mouth, you protectively folded your arms across your chest as you asked. “Do you two do this every day? Trade flirty remarks back and forth? You’re not even toning it down while I’m here! You did it last night, you’re doing it now! You have any idea how that makes me feel, Billy?!!”

Your eyes were burning with tears and between clenched teeth, the words burned in the back of your throat like white hot fire.

“It’s just playful banter, baby. It’s a tattoo shop, you know how it is in there. You’ve been a part of it too!” He explained.

“She has a thing for you, Billy!” You shouted.

Billy shook his head furiously. “No, she doesn’t. I promise you, sweet girl. I’m not even her type.”

You let out a sharp laugh and scoffed at his claim. “Oh please, you’re everyone’s type!!”

Your skin felt like it was engulfed in flames and you turned to grab the door handle so you could leave but Billy stopped you.

“Baby, please! I don’t want you to go! I just thought we were all messing around, she’s just really friendly and flirty. I didn’t know that it would affect you like this, so I’m—I’m sorry ok? I don’t have ANY interest in Shortcake because—I” There was a piercing dryness in his throat.

You could tell he was nervous.

“Well…I’m waiting!” You demanded.

Billy inhaled sharply. “I don’t have any interest in Shortcake because I’m in love with someone else.”

Taken completely by surprise, you responded. “What?”

“Yeah, she is quite the firecracker, beautiful, smart, she makes me laugh, plus she looks really cute when she’s mad at me. And I really hope she loves me too because this conversation is gonna get really awkward, really fast if she doesn’t.” He said with a warm smile.

Your hand dropped away from the door handle and you let out a little laugh.

“You love me?” You asked shyly.

Billy pulled your body flush with his, those liquid brown eyes staring down at you as he wiped the tear that trickled down your cheek.

“I do…I do love you. I’ve been in love with you for quite some time.” He whispered.

You snaked your arms around his neck. “I love you too, Billy.”

Billy leaned in to softly press his lips to yours. His kisses always gave you butterflies and you never wanted that feeling to go away.

“Oh by the way, the guy that Shortcake has in her chair right now has bionic hearing or some shit so I’m sure he heard EVERYTHING.” He said. “She also has a little bit of a thing for him.”

“Oh shit, really?” You said in a surprised tone. “Well he sure got a show, didn’t he. And I guess I know her type now, don’t I.”

You let out a chuckle and so did Billy.

“Baby, I know you don’t appreciate the flirting so I won’t reciprocate anymore. Plus, I’ve seen your face when women flirt with me when they come in to make an appointment.” He said.

Slightly embarrassed you replied. “Oh…you’ve seen that?”

“If looks could kill, my love.” Said Billy. “But that just means you’re crazy about me.” He said with a slightly wicked smile and a wink.

“Well you’re right about that, handsome. I am crazy about you.” You said and kissed him again.

After going back inside, everyone seemed to scramble back to their stations which made you laugh. Shortcake apologized profusely and said she didn’t mean to cause any trouble. You also apologized to her and everyone else.

The last thing you wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable in any way, she seemed like a great addition to the shop and you wanted her to stay.

Billy walked over to his desk calendar. Looking over the dates for the next few weeks, he asked you “Baby, when do you wanna come back so I can finish your leg?”

You narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms across your chest. “Ya know, you really should have been done by now, Billy. You get to see me naked, so I shouldn’t have to keep coming back so you can finish something that should have taken one session.”

You flashed him a smile and a wink, everyone started to laugh.

When Billy told you he wanted you back in the chair in another two weeks, you could feel eyes on your backside.

“ANDY!! How many times do I have to tell you to keep your eyes off my girlfriend’s ass?! Seriously, bro!” Billy shouted.

“And he calls ME a firecracker! If looks could kill, baby.” You said, pushing yourself up onto your toes to give Billy a kiss on the cheek. “But that just means you’re crazy about me, right handsome?”

He turned his head, gazed down at you, and hungrily attacked your lips with his.

“Oh you have no idea, sweet girl.”

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @simple-lovebot @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso

If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again

[kasagia]

Billy Russo's Masterlist

One-shots

The last time

You're done being the less important one. The one who always had to conform to the big asshole and playboy Mr. Billy Goddamn Russo. And this time you really promised yourself that it's over... but is it?

Ready for it?

...coming someday...

[kayhi808]

Return Home

This takes place a couple of years after Hurry Home.

You look up into the stormy late afternoon skies of NYC, figuring out your odds if you'll be able to make it to the Metro before the rain comes pouring down. You flip your sign from "Open" to "Closed", locking up after letting your employees leave early before the rain comes down.

You recently aquired this cafe and you've been doing well so far. Open for breakfast & lunch, you've poured your heart & soul into this place, "Eden". You named it after your daughter who passed a couple years ago. It was a real tough part of your life, but you survived. You pushed through the worst of it and you're ok. Not everyday, but for the majority, you're good.

As you finish wiping down the counters in the back you hear a clap of thunder. You sigh as you grab your bag & coat from your office. You hire kids from the nearby University, so you're glad you let them go early, hopefully they made it back home by now. As you walk to the front door, you can see the rain coming down in buckets! Well, shit! There's someone standing in your doorway trying to get out of the rain, what little good it does, as you can see the rain still pelting your windows. Now you're going to have to be an asshole & tell this guy to move.

You open the door & the man turns, "Y/N?"

"Billy." His eyes wide with shock. It must mirror your own. His coat does little to protect him from the rain. He's soaked through. You step back to let him into the cafe. He quickly enters. You lock up and turn to him. All you can do is stare. You haven't seen Bill since you told him about Eden. He had tried calling & seeing you afterwards, but you couldn't do it. He is Eden's father & thinking of her was too painful back then. He wipes his hand down over his face, getting rid of the water. It breaks eye contact & you feel free to move. "Have a seat, I'll be right back." You drop your bag on a table and run to the back for towels. It also gives you time to catch your breath. Billy. You can't believe he's here.

Returning with the towels, Bill has taken off his coat & its thrown over a stool at the high top table. "Here. Dry off."

"Thank you." He runs the towel through his hair & wipes the water from his face. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here. I should be asking you the same thing."

Hooking the towel over his shoulders, "I had a meeting in the neighborhood. My driver is running late. Traffic." He can't stop staring, "Y…you look great. How have you been?"

The sadness you see in his eyes rakes across your heart, "I'm good, now. I'm a lot better." He nods.

"I'm glad to hear that," giving you a soft smile, which makes you more aware of the emptiness you feel in your soul. You kept yourself busy so you wouldn't have to deal with that feeling.

You move behind the counter, "Do you want a coffee? You must be freezing. I have tea."

Billy step further into the cafe & takes a seat at the small counter. "Coffee sounds wonderful, if you don't mind." Billy would accept anything if it gave him more time to spend with you. He's loved you since the moment he saw you, but was a fool to never have let you know how he truly felt. While on a Black Ops mission, you had found out you were pregnant & had lost the baby at 18wks. Bill didn't return from his mission until it was way too late. You didn't want to see him after that & he respected your wishes. He had hurt you so much already, he didn't want to cause you any more pain. It hadn't stop him from keeping tabs on you though. "I thought you were are 'Penelope's."

"How did you know I was there?" Pouring water over the coffee grounds. Stirring the grounds while it steeps.

Bill doesn't make eye contact, but shrugs. "I check up on you once in a while. I want to make sure you're alright is all."

Your breath catches. Billy is still watching over you. "Um, I left a couple months ago. I started this place."

"What? This is yours?" Billy breaks out into a happy grin, that's infectious. You nod & smile back. "Holy shit! Congratulations! You did it!" He gets up to look around the cafe more carefully, taking it all in. His gaze stops, at the fancy lettering of "Eden" in the window. "Eden," he whispers. He silently stares at the sign. You pour his coffee into a reusable ceramic mug with the Eden logo across the front. It's bittersweet, yet you're proud of what you've accomplished. Bill knew this was a dream of yours and in a small way you're sharing it with him now.

Billy returns to the counter as you hand him his coffee. He takes your hand, bringing it to his lips, "I'm so proud of you, darlin'. You did it." He brushes a tear away with his thumb. You didn't even realize you were crying.

Noticing a black SUV pull up in front and you step back from Billy, putting distance between you. "Thank you, Billy. I think your driver is here."

He looks outside and checks his phone. "Let me drive you home."

" It's ok. I'm good."

" I insist. It's the least I can do...."

Taking a deep breath, "I'd rather you didn't." You see the hurt in his eyes but you...can't. Just seeing him again is overwhelming for you.

"Sweetheart, its storming out" trying to cajole you into obeying. You see the muscle tick in his jaw; he's getting annoyed.

"It was nice to see you again...but its hard too. Please understand, Billy. Don't be mad at me."

Billy drops a kiss on your forehead, "My number hasn't changed. Text me to let me know you got home safe. Can you do that for me? If not, I'll send agents out right now to sit in front of your house to let me know you made it home."

Shaking your head at him but he did wrangle a grin out of you, too. "I'll text you." Billy still cares about you enough to keep track if you're ok or not.

Saluting you with his new mug, "I'm really proud of you. G'night, sweetheart."

"G'night Billy."

You stay in the doorway until you see the SUV tail lights turn the corner. Opening up your umbrella you make your way to the subway. Seeing Billy didn't hurt quite as much as you thought it would.

@idaofinfinity @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @e-dubbc11

[leviathanspain]

a well respected man

billy russo x reader

synopsis: the crush you have on your boss is totally inappropriate. until he fucks you senseless in the elevator

a/n: the song by the kinks inspired it, give it a listen during this ;)

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you smacked the elevator button with urgency. you were late, so late, to the meeting that included your boss, and it was made alarmingly important that you attended.

as the elevator dinged, you let your shoulders sag with relief, you wouldn’t have to race up the stairs today.

as the elevator doors open, you looked in to find a familiar face, one you were literally hoping you wouldn’t have to see.

you composed the shock off your face and gave a tight lipped smile, “mr. russo!” you tried to play off the your nervousness but seemed like billy had seen right through you.

he chuckled, “heading to the meeting?” he looked at his watch and you blushed, “you caught me.” you smirked, “i thought if i had booked it, you wouldn’t have noticed..”

billy turned to you and peered at you, there was an unreadable expression in his face but his eyes shone with something you could’ve sworn was hunger.

billy smiled, “i notice everything.”

you felt your expression darken with realization and you wanted to melt into a puddle, “if this is about the job that fell through last month, i apologized and it-“

billy held a hand up and you stopped talking immediately, he pursed his lips, “no. it isn’t about that.” he let a finger graze under your chin as you swallowed thickly, “oh.” you rasped.

bill cocked his head to the side, smacking the emergency button on the elevator with a mere glance. you looked down in shock and back up at billy who was smirking, “i notice when you rub your thighs together when i look at you, i notice the way your hands tremble when you hand me papers, even the pleasure you get from calling me, mr. russo..”

you felt naked, splayed out for the vultures as billy spilled every one of your secrets, “i-“ you laughed nervously, face turning red with heat as you struggled to find the words.

billy chuckled, “cant even get the words out..” fingers trailing at the buttons of your blouse.

you bit your lip, silent as billy trailed his index finger down the middle of your blouse, buttons coming easily apart as he opened it, breasts for his taking.

the one day you didn’t wear a bra, you cursed yourself in embarrassment as billy whistled, “what a fucking slut!” he grabbed your boobs in his hands and squeezed them, laughing.

you winced at the pressure and leaned back into the elevator wall, and billy leaned into you, head resting on your right shoulder as he massaged your breasts in his hands, “you want mr. russo to fuck you like the dirty slut you are?”

you whimpered, face hot but you managed out a weak, “yes.”

billy didn’t need anything more to help him yank the skirt up.

he got on his knees for you, and billy looked up as he kissed your thighs, “i’ve dreamt about my face in between this fucking thighs. let me tell you something, that was better than this.” he glowered, “prove to me you can fuck me better than i’ve dreamt, right?”

you nodded, feeling the slick pool in your panties as billy yanked the hem down. he smacked your legs apart as he pulled them down and over and out from your heels. he looked at the damp material and chuckled, “i bet you taste as good as you look.” he grabbed the panties in his hand, balling them up and stuffing them in his pocket, “for later.” he murmured, and let his finger plung itself into your folds.

he leaned in, face with your cunt as he blew air onto you, making you squirm. billy smirked to himself before his tongue moved your clit like a button in his mouth. you let out a hearty moan, as if you had been holding it back this entire time.

“she’s loud!” billy seemed excited by this, and you gripped the handles of the elevator, holding yourself up as billy tongue fucked you.

“mr. russo..” you panted, your orgasm coming into you quickly, “please fuck me.” you whimpered.

billy laughed, pulling away, “louder.”

“mr. russo please fuck me!” you cried out, knuckles turning white as you gripped the handle.

“louder!” billy yelled and you felt a slap to your cunt.

you let it rip at the top of your lungs, “please fuck me mr. russo! please!” you screamed and billy stood up.

“don’t have to shout so much, sweetheart. wouldn’t want to waste those cries, would we?” he asked as he towered over you. you nodded, “of course not..” you responded.

billy seemed pleased by that answer, and now he played with the top of your blouse, “you want ol’ billy to fuck you now?”

you nodded, and billy smiled, unbuckling his pants to let his cock, that was pleasantly hung, out. you looked down at it and felt your breath hitch.

“what?” billy looked at you and you bit your lips, “don’t tell me you’re scared now.”

you shook your head, “no, i’m fine mr. russo.”

billy nodded, kissing your forehead, “of course you are.” he whispered, leaning in as he shoved his cock deep in between your folds, “im going to fuck you like it’s no tomorrow and i want you to scream my name like someone murderin’ you. you got it?”

your hands now moved to grip billy’s shoulders, and you moaned as his cock filled you up. it was thicker than any you’ve had before, and you felt completely stretched out for him. billy kissed you, and you nodded, “yes mr. russo.”

billy pursed his lips, “call me billy.” and with a sadistic smile, he moved, thrusting into you slowly before he got a good pace and began to fuck you hard against the wall of the elevator, shaking the panels behind you.

your hands moved to hold onto his neck as billy held you up with his hands. he was surprisingly strong, and you felt bruises were going to greet you in the forms of fingers tomorrow morning.

you let billy use you as a cock sleeve, moaning, “billy!” like a religious chant.

it was like music to his ears, breathy, bitchy, insatiably amazing music.

“fuck yeah, sweetheart! tell them who’s fucking you this good!” he rutted into you and your words caught on your tongue before you screamed again at the top of your lungs, cunt clenching around billy as you came.

“billy!” you cried, and billy groaned, the feeling of your orgasm sent him over the edge, and he was shuddering against you.

you clutched onto billy for stability as he fucked the two of your through your orgasms. he stilled, and settled in your touch, a small smile was on his lips as he leaned into you. he breathed in your scent and kissed your shoulder, “you did so good, for me, sweetheart.” he praised, “better than i dreamt.” and he pulled back, brushing a lock of your hair from your face.

your face heated, and even though he was still buried in your cunt, you couldn’t help but still feel that school girl crush.

billy pulled out, and you set your wobbly legs down on the floor. billy tucked himself back into his pants and watched as you fixed yourself. you tried to button your shirt but your hands were shaking. billy silently moved your hands away from your shirt, buttoning them for you and fixing your skirt, pulling them down as he spotted the white cum dripping down your leg. he smiled to himself, “dont wear underwear until i give you the pair i took, back.” he mentioned, and you nodded sheepishly.

billy straightened himself, fixed his tie and clicked the emergency button. the elevator doors rolled open and you had a shocking realization. billy hadn’t stopped the elevator between floors, he stopped it right in front of the meeting room. billy didn’t even so much as glance back at you as he sauntered into the room filled with your coworkers agape and white with shock. others were red with embarrassment as you could only assume that they heard the whole thing.

as you shuffled past everyone to the other end of the long table, you finally took your seat, tugging the end of your skirt to cover your bare ass, but you still felt the sticky cum on the chair.

billy looked at you with a smile before he began, “the security group we had sent to the university was good but we-“ his voice faded out as your heartbeat pounded in your ears. you looked to find no one staring at you, all afraid to even gaze at you.

you fought hard not to smile as you saw the fabric of your panties poking out from billy’s pocket, his words echoing in your head, better than i dreamt.

[russobaby]

Unexpected Revelations

Billy Russo x Unnamed Female OC 

Warnings: Angsty & Fluffy; Fade to black; Fertility talks

Author’s Note: 2.5k Words; Minimal editing lol; First full length piece I’ve written for Billy Russo; This is just something small that took me forever to finish. Feedback always welcome (be nice pls i’m very sensitive) or any suggestions or prompts you’d like me to tackle!

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The silence on the car ride home was unsettling. Neither dared to speak the first word out of fear of further escalating the argument . Of all the things they could possibly disagree on this was by far the last thing she expected. She huffs out a breath as she stares out the window reminiscing on the last year of their relationship and where she could have missed the signs.

Thinking back to the conversation earlier that started all of this, she can’t help but feel a sense of dread at where their relationship might be headed. 

They had just had a late dinner with Frank and Karen. With the perfect mood lighting and the intimacy of the booth they shared, the happy couple had just announced they were expecting and the four of them were riding that excitement high. In no uncertain terms she and Billy were first in line for the title of godparents. 

“Oh goodness this is so exciting, so many baby preparations to make!” Karen beamed at them all. You couldn’t be happier for the pair. When you first met Billy he shared his worries for Frank, that he might never allow himself a chance at happiness again after losing Maria and the kids. This news made them proud of all the growth Frank had experienced with Karen’s unconditional support. Everything was going well until Frank led the conversation somewhere she was afraid they wouldn’t recover from. 

“You know it would be nice for this little Castle to have a bud to grow up with him,” a tell-tale smirk on his face “What about you two, when’s a mini Russo coming along?”

Both her and Billy couldn’t help but steal a knowing glance at each other.

“Soon-”

“Never-”

She damn near gave herself whiplash when she turned to look at him, and Billy wore the same perplexed look. Frank and Karen could only stare mouths slightly ajar, noting the tension rapidly thickening until Billy finally spoke up.

“I’m sorry, what do you mean by never?” He was a bit offended at how appalled she seemed to be at the idea of having kids with him. Meanwhile her mind was running a mile a minute trying to figure out the best way to navigate this conversation, in public…in front of their closest friends. 

“I just never thought about that being an option for us.” She slowly brings her hands closer to her fidgeting with the cloth napkin beside her plate. 

“Not an option? I’ve told you you’re it for me, how do you get ‘not an option’ from that?”

“Maybe this isn’t a conversation we should be having right now Bill.” The finality in her tone only frustrates him more and he can't stop himself from egging it on. 

“So you want kids just not with me?” A wounded expression surfaces on his face.

“What? No, that's not what I said!”

“Bill, don’t push it, I’m sorry I asked-” Frank and Karen are slowly growing more concerned.

“It’s fine Frankie, how would I have known otherwise that my girlfriend doesn’t see me as parental material.” 

She knew he was hurt and that he wasn’t thinking before speaking but his words stung no less. 

“You know that’s not true, you're putting words in my mouth.” This was not how she wanted to end their night, “Can we please just talk about this at home.” She pleaded with him. 

The rest of their dinner fell into an uncomfortable silence. Frank and Karen kept exchanging worried glances while you and Billy avoided looking at each other. Thankfully they were in the middle of dessert so there wasn’t much after paying the bill and bidding goodnight to the other couple. 

Now here they found themselves, in a tension so thick it was suffocating. She had no idea how she was going to make him see her decision had nothing to do with him and everything to do with her. 

Walking into their home she falls into step behind him tossing her stuff at the entryway table. She hears him ruffling through the kitchen so she makes her way toward it with very careful steps. She was afraid of what this conversation would mean for them. His back is to her as he stands stoically just staring at the open beer right in front of him. She could use some liquid courage herself. 

“Are we going to talk about this?” Her voice is barely above a whisper. 

“What is there left to say?”

“I’d like to think there’s a lot left to say.” She can’t help but quip back.

“You’ve made your feelings about a family with me pretty clear.” 

“Have I or are you just projecting and trying to make me the villain?” 

Now she was getting mad. It was one thing to be hurt, it was another to insinuate she thought so lowly of him. After the time they’d spent together she’d hoped he knew her better than that. 

“You haven’t even let me explain a thing.” 

He finally spins around to face her.

“You said you didn’t see that being an option for us. For us.” His scoff is harsh. “That implies you don’t see a family with me.” 

“Well what else was I supposed to think Billy, you’ve never talked about wanting children and the way you respond to anything regarding your childhood never leads me to believe it’s something you’re interested in.”

“Wouldn’t you think that because of the way I was raised I’d want a chance to prove I could do better?”

“How could I, you’ve never initiated any conversation about parenthood! Why should it fall on me to do so?”

“So you just assumed I wouldn’t want to be a father from that?” 

An incredulous laugh slips out of her. Logically, what else was one supposed to assume from that?

“Well have you ever considered that maybe I’m the one that doesn’t want to be a mother?”

She hadn’t vocalized this to many people and even the few she’d never admitted it with such finality. That one sentence stunned them both. Finding a life partner is hard enough but finding someone who shares the same feelings regarding parenthood is even harder. She thought it had finally all worked out with Billy. He knew the true ugliness of the world and she was sure he shared her opinion on the matter. The world they lived in was no place for a new life, not one who may or may not even have a livable planet or the most despicable people leading it. 

Her confession hangs heavy between them and she finally sees the harshness in his expression soften. 

“Were you ever gonna talk to me ‘bout this?”

“I’ve never known how to bring it up.” She sighs, “It’s not exactly an easy or ideal topic of conversation.”

“I get that but c'mon, we’re supposed to be a partnership here.” He can’t keep the frustration out of his tone. “We’re supposed to be able to tell each other anything.”

“I just-” she starts “My whole life that’s the one thing everyone has just always expected of me as a woman.” 

As she crosses her arms Billy can’t help but notice her shrink further into herself backed into the counter as far from him as she can be. He could physically see the weight such an admission held. 

“There have been so many instances where I’ve confided my feelings to people and all I get is ‘You can always change your mind’ or ‘That’s such a big decision to make so young’, like at what point in my life is it acceptable to make this decision?” Her own frustration grows. 

“When it’s made for me? When it’s too late but then everybody assumes I have this massive regret? There’s just no winning and quite frankly I’m so over the emotional toll these conversations take and the unnecessary guilt for not adhering to some archaic gender expectation.”

She had been called every possible thing whenever she told people she wasn’t sure about kids. People called her ungrateful for having the ability when so many women wish they could. Others would say it was selfish to choose herself and her body. She knew Billy would never, but after being on the receiving end of these comments from people she thought she could confide in, some small part in her brain was always on guard. 

He can see all her emotional walls going up at the possibility of him rejecting her for this, which is a laughable thought to him. There were very few things she could do that would drive him to do something like that. This was most definitely not one of those things.

A highlight of having spent such a long time together was knowing when her distress called for a certain response from him. Clearly this was a moment that required comfort and despite his feelings about her omission, there was no way he would ever deny her what she needed. So with very careful steps Billy approaches, gently wrapping his arms around her. 

Letting herself fall into the embrace was too easy but she wasn’t going to beat herself up for caving so quickly, not when 30 minutes ago she was dreading the direction this relationship was heading in. 

“I won’t say I’m not upset you kept this from me.” He sighs, “But I get it.” 

He really did understand, he knew about her insecurities regarding her relationship with family and feeling like an outcast for not following the same paths as them. He would never imagine throwing them in her face. 

“I’m sorry for assuming, there’s no way you could’ve known without me sharing and considering I do see us spending our lives together I should’ve communicated that from the beginning.” Neither of them could understand how they’d gone so long without this topic of conversation even coming up.

“No, I’m sorry for blowing up.” Guilt creeps into his voice. “You were right I was projecting and the last thing I want you to feel like is a villain when it comes to decisions that affect you as a whole.”

A new guilty feeling begins to settle in her. 

“I don’t want you to have to choose between your desire for a family and me.” As much as it pained her she could never take that opportunity away from him and she loved him too much to do so. She was sure of her choice and in the same way she wouldn’t let anybody take it from her; she wasn’t going to take it from him.

This prompts a whole new fear in him. 

“Now hold on, before you go making any self sacrificing rash move I need you to listen closely.” He cradles her face close to his in hopes she fully grasps what he’s about to say. 

Before he can get a word in she cuts him off.

“Billy, don't make this decision because of me, please really think about what you’re going to say because I can’t bear you hating me in the future.”

“Would you just listen to me?” He huffs.

“Sorry.” She averts her eyes.

“Look at me.” He waits for her to bring her gaze back to his. “If it comes down to having to choose to spend my life with you versus anything else, I will always choose you .” The certainty in his voice sends a chill down her spine and her subtle shiver makes him smile. She presses her body closer to his which queues a shiver of his own.

It was like a movie montage of their entire relationship played back in her mind. Meeting for the first time at the coffee shop down the street from her old apartment, gushing to Karen about the craziness of having a meet-cute, Billy charming the hell out of her on their first date that it felt too good to be true. Maybe in the back of her brain she was always just waiting for the other shoe to drop and of course Billy being an absolute dream was reassuring her in all the right ways. 

They stand there in silence simply holding each other for several minutes. Finally, he breaks the silence.

“I need to know you understand what I mean when I say that.” He caresses her face.

She leans into the touch basking in all the love he so freely gave her. Billy never failed to make her feel like the center of his universe, and she appreciated it so much. To be loved so openly and unconditionally felt so good. To have someone understand her so wholly and be so secure in what she has with someone.

“I do…I think”

“No, none of that think shit, I need to hear you say you understand.” His demand is subsided by the soft sway of his thumb against her cheek and she can’t help the light giggle that spills out.

“Yes Billy, I understand.”  

He sighs in contentment leaning down to kiss her, equal parts passionate and languid trying to convey as much of his love as he could into it. Whenever he kissed her like that she felt ready and willing to give him anything he asked, too hypnotized by the buzz running through her body to refuse him. She can’t help throwing her arms around him, pressing herself as close as physically possible.  

Pulling away he pushes a strand that loosened back behind her ear. Her eyes remain closed and she pushes her body upwards chasing his lips not wanting a single inch of space between them. 

“Slow down baby,” he laughs. “Look at me.”

She was already dizzy on his love and the dominant tone in his demand makes her gasp softly sending an electric current down her body. Looking up at him with a mix of adoration and ready compliance in her eyes has him groaning and leaning down to kiss her again, only rougher and all consuming this time. Her arms wrap around his neck while his hands roam up and down her body. Their desperation for each other grows by the second and her need has her pulling him to the bedroom not separating for even an intake of breath. 

If Billy wasn’t too distracted with wanting to rip every article of clothing off her he’d laugh at her attempts and urgency to drag his body all the way to bed. Of course he humors her and would never admit to letting himself be tugged along so easily. He only pauses to avoid crushing her when she pulls him onto the mattress. He takes this moment to let his eyes run over her, a blush fills her cheeks at this attention.

“I love you baby, you know that right?” 

Her hand comes up to cup the side of his face and he turns to press a kiss to her palm.

“I love you too Billy.” A happy sigh spills out of her, “So damn much.” 

[amhrosina]

Your Pretty Heart (Billy Russo x f!Reader)

A/N: Anyone else widely obsessed with Pedro Pascal and The Last of Us right now? Being back in my Pedro era feels like getting home after a long ass trip. Should I write for some of Pedro's characters?? SOS! Also, I hit 800 followers today??? Like what??? Thank you to everyone who supports me and this account!!

Request: ex’s to lovers with Billy Russo or Matt Murdock. Where Frank and Karen “help” Billy/Matt get their ass together to get back with Reader. Because come on their clearly still in lovee. 

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary: When you and Billy break up, Karen takes it upon herself to get you back together. Her plan comes to a head one night at Josie’s, and you and Billy must face the consequences of loving and leaving one another. 

(Warnings: so much angst, cursing, Billy is a soft!boy at heart, soft!Billy, descriptions of smut (but like romantic descriptions, not graphic ones??), I think that’s it, it’s literally just really sad until the end lol) 

“You look great.” Your date smiled, but he wasn’t looking at your face. Instead, for the third time in less than a minute, his eyes trailed the sloping curve of your cleavage as it disappeared into your dress. You shrugged his gaze off, hoping there was at least something interesting about him to keep you entertained for the evening. Something could be there. Deep, deep, down, but there, nonetheless.  

“So, Brad, what do you do for work? When Karen set this up, she didn’t tell me much about you.” 

“I’m an accountant.”  

Brad nodded his head along with yours, an awkward bob as you waited for him to return the question. He didn’t, instead choosing to fix his gaze on the jazz singer across the restaurant. Zero for two, Brad. 

“Do you, uh, have any hobbies?” You tried again to break the conversation dam, but Brad’s attention was so far away from the table you were sharing that he barely glanced at you when he responded. 

“I jog sometimes.” 

“Oh!” You lurched forward, desperate to grab onto anything that might make this date less awkward. “I like to jog, too. I’ll listen to books when I do it to pass the time. Do you read at all?” 

Brad’s eyes flicked to yours, then back to the jazz singer. Uninterested, bored, and inconvenienced. That’s what his glance told you. 

“People who need books or music when they run aren’t capable of self-reflection. It’s how you grow as a human being, you know? You should try it.”  

You blinked. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? A pompous, arrogant, prick seemed like the winning description, and you chuckled as you looped your purse handle over your shoulder. 

“Well, Brad.” You stood from your seat, drawing his attention away from the band. “Congratulations. You win. I think this is quite possibly the worst date I’ve ever been on, and that’s saying a lot.” 

You didn’t deem him with an explanation as you exited the restaurant, but a vivid memory flashed in your mind of Billy standing you up on your anniversary last year. Yeah, that date was terrible, but at least Billy hadn’t insulted you after standing you up. He’d spent weeks apologizing with flowers, jewelry, and even cutting down on his time at Anvil so he could spend more time with you, but that date would always stick out in your mind as the beginning of the end.  

You shook the thoughts from your head, digging through your purse to find your cellphone. Karen was going to explain where the fuck she met this guy, and why she thought setting him up with you would be a good idea. She picked up on the second ring. 

“Karen.” You tapped your foot on the sidewalk. “What the fuck?” 

“Hey! How was the date?”  

Wherever Karen was, it was loud. You could barely understand her through the speaker, muffled by music and what sounded like a crowd of people in the background.  

“The date was so bad.” You almost whined. Almost stomped your foot at how unfair the dating world had become. Almost thought about how much easier it was when you were with Billy. “Where did you even meet this guy?” 

“At work. Was he an asshole?” She sounded apologetic, but the volume at which she had to scream her question into the phone made the entire interaction feel a little less impactful.  

“Grade-A Asshole.” You groaned. “Where are you?” 

“I’m at Josie’s, but-” 

“Great. I’m on my way.”  

You hung up the phone before she could respond and hailed a taxi. You felt a little guilty for barging in on her evening. Karen was a good friend, one that you’d clung to since you and Billy had gone your separate ways, and she deserved a night out without your moping. But the nagging feeling rolling around in the pit of your stomach told you exactly the reason you had to go to Josie’s. If you didn’t go hang out with Karen, you’d end up calling Billy, and the last thing you wanted to do was let him see you after a shitty date. You climbed into the taxi and hoped you could drink away the memories of tonight with Karen once you arrived at Josie’s.  

- 

Billy took a hefty sip of his beer as he eavesdropped on Karen’s phone conversation. Technically, it wasn’t eavesdropping if Karen had whacked him on the arm the second her phone started ringing, but it made Billy uncomfortable anyways. What they’d planned felt too much like a trick, and he didn’t want to take advantage of the situation. 

“She’s on her way.” Karen grinned, raising her beer in the air to clink bottles with him.  

Billy fiddled with the bottle in his hand, unsure if there was anything to be ‘cheersing’ to. 

“C’mon, Bill,” Frank grunted, meeting Karen’s still outstretched arm, “It worked. She’s on her way. Now, all you have to do is be a lesser asshole than her date.” 

“Don’t you think she’ll be furious when she finds out her entire evening was construed by her ex-boyfriend and best friends? She doesn’t even want to see me.” 

“Trust me, Billy,” Karen angled her head for emphasis, “She does. She just won’t admit it.” 

“How do you know, though?”  

“I see it on her face, and hear it in her voice, and she’s still sleeping on my couch. And you know what that tells me?”  

Billy rolled his eyes. “What does that tell you, Karen?” 

Karen’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “That she’s not looking for another apartment. That she still has hope that she’ll be able to go home, to your apartment.” 

Billy shook his head. “The market is insane. Maybe she just can’t find an affordable one.” 

“I saw three listed in the paper this morning. She’s not looking, Billy. She misses you.” 

Billy groaned, dragging his hands over his face. This entire situation was completely and totally fucked, and it was completely and totally his fault. He’d always been warned that his ambition would get the best of him. You’d slipped through his fingers so quickly that he got whiplash when he thought about the end of the relationship. It was like you were there one day and gone the next, and he had no idea how he ended up alone, stranded in his kitchen in the middle of the night because the idea of going to bed without you hurt too much.  

“What if it’s too late? What if I can’t fix it?” 

“All you can do is try, Bill.” Frank shrugged. 

“She loves you.” Karen spoke firmly, tapping her finger on the table, “And you love her. But she needs to know that. You have to show her that you love her.” 

“How? I thought I was doing that before.” Billy let out a disgruntled breath and cleared his throat.  

“Your priorities need to change. She deserves better than last-minute cancellations and rescheduled dates. You’re your own boss, Billy. You make the rules, and no matter how much money you spend on her, or how many gifts you buy her, she’s always going to remember the times that you didn’t show up.” 

Billy nodded. Karen was right, as usual. There’d been a significant change in the amount of time Billy was spending at Anvil, sometimes returning home early in the morning, only to change suits and leave again. It wasn’t your fault – it never was – but Billy couldn’t help himself from falling back into his old patterns. When shit got too real, he retreated, and it ended up costing him the most important thing in his life.  

Tonight was his chance to fix everything – to bring you home, to remind you that he adored you, to show you that his life was falling apart without you in it. All he had to do was get you to listen, and he was sure everything else would fall into place. 

- 

You took three steps into the bar before swiveling around and marching out in a dramatic fashion. Cursing Karen for conveniently forgetting to mention that Billy was with her, you tried not to stomp down the sidewalk that led to Karen’s apartment. If you had an apartment of your own, you’d surely be stomping your way there instead.  

You didn’t make it far before you heard your name being called behind you. Two distinct voices trailed you, but you were more focused on the lack of the third. Had he stayed behind at the bar? You swung around, almost slamming into Frank’s chest. Karen was a few steps behind him, and behind her, stood beautiful and broken Billy, hands in his pants pockets.  

“What?” You screeched, eyes flickering between the group. 

“I just wanted to tell you thaaaat,” Karen’s eyes twinkled, and you should’ve known that she was about to make your night go from bad to worse, “I’m going back to my apartment with my boyfriend, who is going to do very loud things to me for hours. If I were you, I’d steer clear of the whole block tonight.” 

You rolled your eyes and looked at Frank, whose innocent expression gave away Karen’s plan faster than you could piece it together. Clearly, this coup had been planned, and they were leaving you with no option but to spend time with Billy. 

“Is that so?” You narrowed your eyes at her, hoping she could read every nasty thought you’d ever had about her in your gaze.  

“Yep!” She hooked an arm through Frank’s and tugged him down the sidewalk. “See you tomorrow!” 

You watched them until they turned a corner, and you could no longer see them. When you turned to face Billy again, he had inched closer to you, standing a heady meter away with his hands still in his pockets. 

“Did you plan this?”  

The anger in your voice echoed across the concrete, slamming into Billy. He grasped his chest as if you’d shot him in the heart.  

“No. I didn’t even know there was a plan until I showed up at Josie’s earlier.” 

You hesitated to believe him, but something in the way he was looking at you told you to trust him. You looked him up and down, focusing on the way he looked worse than you’d ever seen him. For a brief second, you felt triumph over it. He deserved this after everything he did to you. He deserved to feel like shit. The triumph faded faster than it came, and an overwhelming sadness replaced the ire thoughts you were having about him.  

There were bags under his eyes, and you could tell he hadn’t been sleeping well. He never did when he couldn’t sleep with you. The facial hair that he usually kept so neat and maintained had grown beyond his usual boundaries, and the fact that he kept subconsciously scratching at it told you he didn’t like it. You tried not to let it get to you. You probably looked like shit, too.  

“How’ve you been?” His focus remained wholly on you. You rubbed the back of your neck to try and shake off his stare. 

“We don’t have to do this, Bil.” You looked at the ground, focusing on the crack in the concrete that crawled its way across the sidewalk, drawing a line inbetween you and Billy. You couldn’t decide if that was fitting, or incredibly sad. Maybe it was both. 

“We’re not doing anything.” He shook his head innocently. 

“You know what I mea-” 

“Come home.”  

There was a pregnant pause in the conversation as the two of you eyed each other. 

“Billy, I-” 

“Just for tonight. Until Karen’s apartment is...safe again.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him, searching for an ulterior motive. And of course, there was an ulterior motive. You couldn’t blame him for it, because you knew if the roles were reversed, you’d be doing the same thing.  

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” You shook your head, more towards yourself than at him.  

“Why not?” He cocked his head to the side. 

“You know why.”  

He nodded but shrugged his shoulders anyways.  

“I’m not going to leave you out here with nowhere to go. It’s either the apartment, or we spend the next few hours in awkward silence at a diner.” 

The apartment. Not ‘my’ apartment. He didn’t consider it his when you weren’t there to claim the other half of it. You couldn’t lie to yourself. You wanted so badly to go with him, to see the home that you’d built with him. You wanted so badly to see how he’d faired over the last month without you. It was with all this in mind, and not how much you missed him, that had you nodding, agreeing to go home. Just for a visit, you repeated in your mind, just for a visit. 

When you stepped into what was once the living room you shared with Billy, you were struck with an overwhelming sense of familiarity. There was nothing different about it, except that the bookshelf was a little less stuffed than usual. You’d grabbed your favorites on your way out, unable to part with them, even just for a little bit. 

“Can I get you some wine?” Billy asked, already heading toward the kitchen to pour himself a glass. You nodded, shrugging your jacket off and trying to ignore the strangeness of being treated like a guest in the home that you’d lived in for years.  

When Billy returned with two particularly full glasses, you plopped down on the couch. You didn’t know how to act, or what to say, or who to be when you were around him anymore and falling back into old habits seemed like a grand way to get your feelings hurt again. 

“You didn’t answer my question earlier.” Billy took a swig from his glass, sitting on the armchair across from the couch. You silently thanked the universe that he had put distance between the two of you. The closer he was, the less clearly you could think.  

“Which one?” 

“How’ve you been?” 

“Oh.” You took a sip, only because it gave you something to do with your hands. “I’ve been alright.” 

He smiled, but the corners of his mouth didn’t reach his eyes. Anyone who looked at you longer than two seconds could see that you’re clearly not doing alright, but you’d grown comfortable living in denial, and you weren’t going to admit how not alright you were.  

“Heard your date didn’t go well.” 

You scoffed. Maybe it was the wine, or the way he looked smug about the fact that you’d had a shitty date, but you couldn’t help what came out of your mouth next.  

“Fuck you, Billy. It’s none of your business.” 

Billy looked startled by your outburst. You gulped down another mouthful of wine before rubbing your hand down your face. 

“I’m sorry.” You shook your head. “I don’t know where that came from.” 

“It’s okay. I probably deserve it.” He shrugged, leaning back in his seat. 

“What happened to us?” You asked, gazing at the ceiling. 

“You tell me, sunflower. You’re the one that left.” 

Your heart ached at the nickname. It wasn’t fair that he used it, especially when you were clearly in a vulnerable mood, but you cherished it anyways.  

“You left first.”  

It was barely a whisper, said so quietly that you weren’t quite sure he had heard you. If the palpable tension that followed wasn’t indicative of his acknowledgment, the deep sigh that erupted from his chest soon after was indication enough. He stayed quiet, swirling the remaining wine in his glass around in small circles. 

You stared at him, unflinching in your assessment of his body language. He didn’t look as miserable as you felt, and a spark of anger ignited in your belly because of it.  

“Did you ever really love me, Bil?” You barked. It was bait, and both of you knew it. You’d never questioned his love for you, and he knew you were trying to get a rise out of him, but he couldn’t help stepping up to the plate and taking the bait. 

“What kind of fucking question is that?” He watched you closely. You tried not to let your triumph show on your face. “Of course, I love you.” 

He stood from his seat and rested his hands on his hips, willing you to do the same. Meet him where he stood, he dared, show him how much you still care. You were nothing if not a daredevil. You joined him in the middle of the room, pressing your index finger into his chest. 

“Well then, what the fuck happened?”  

“You. Tell. Me.” He gritted from between clenched teeth. 

Billy wasn’t being fair to you, and he knew it. You were asking a valid question, and he was cowering behind the anger and frustration in the room.  

“I can’t do this again, Bil.” You turned, reaching for your purse. A heavy tug on your elbow had you crashing into Billy’s chest, where he enveloped his arms around you and pulled you into a crushing hold.  

“You’re not leaving, are you?”  

There was a softness in his voice that tugged at your heartstrings. For a moment, you forgot you were speaking to a grown man and not an orphaned little boy. You blew a long breath out before shaking your head. He rested his forehead against your shoulder. 

“No, Bil. I’m not leaving.” 

“I always knew I’d end up breaking your pretty heart.” His voice was muffled by your shoulder, but you didn’t miss the slight crack in his words. “I knew I’d fuck it up eventually.” 

“I don’t understand what happened. Everything was fine, and then it wasn’t.” You blinked away the tears that had built up on your waterline.  

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.” 

You cupped his face as he dropped to his knees in front of you. His eyes, now red-rimmed and glassy, pleaded with you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from lowering your body next to his. 

“What’s going on?” You asked him, eyes flickering between his fast-blinking eyelids and rapidly shaking hands.  

“I was afraid.” He cleared his throat. “Am. I am afraid.” 

“Of what? Where is this coming from?” You gaped. You knew Billy struggled with commitment more than most – it had taken him almost a year of serious dating before he could tell you he loved you – but you thought he had moved past that. 

“Tom’s getting married.” 

Your brow furrowed. “What does Tom have to do with us?” 

“Tom’s getting married, and all I can think about is how I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to give that to you, and how you deserve someone who can give you everything you want and more.” 

You let his words sink into your chest, dissecting every interaction you’d had with him leading up to your breakup. It had been a slow descent, and when it finally became too much, you’d left with no clue how you ended up alone and sleeping on Karen’s couch every night. 

“Billy,” You shuttered, shaking your head as tears began to travel down your cheeks, “I never said I wanted any of that.” 

“It’s what you deserve.” 

“But it’s not what I want. Why couldn’t you see that I was happy with the way things were?” 

“I was terrified that you’d leave me. And then I became a shit boyfriend, and you really did leave me, and it was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

You wiped the tears from under your eyes and sniffled. “You weren’t always a shit boyfriend.” 

Billy snorted, letting a small smile cross his face as he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear. 

“Can you ever forgive me, sunflower?” 

You considered his question. If you were being completely honest, you’d forgiven him as soon as you saw his pretty, brown eyes across the bar earlier, so sad and searching for you.  

“Can you promise that you’ll tell me when you’re feeling like this again, instead of shutting me out?” You cupped his cheek, eyes flicking down to his lips and then back up to his eyes.  

“I can promise that I’ll try.” He swallowed, searching your expression. “Is that enough?” 

You lurched forward, pressing your lips to his. The kiss tasted of red wine and salt, and you were suddenly grateful that you’d slumped to the floor earlier instead of waiting until now, when your knees were weak and shaking with anticipation.  

“I love you.” Billy mumbled inbetween kisses. 

“Show me.” You responded, opening yourself to him for the first time in over a month. 

He took you right there on the living room floor, a flurry of intertwined limbs, swollen lips, and skin brushing skin. His lips only left yours long enough to whisper praises against your neck before returning to yours in a bruising kiss. When you came apart underneath him, you couldn’t stop the tears from forming, but he didn’t mind. He kissed the tears away, apologies in their own right, as he continued showing you how much he loved you. 

Later on, after hours of reconciliation and apologies, you collapsed next to Billy on the couch. You’d lost your clothes a long time ago, only covered with the throw blanket you’d purchased the year before on a whim, and you watched as he sighed in quiet contemplation.  

“We should tell Karen and Frank that their plan worked.” You rested your head on his shoulder. He smiled, pulling you into his chest.  

“Let them figure it out on their own. They’ll come around at some point tomorrow when you still haven’t gone back.” 

He was right. The next morning, when Karen and Frank knocked on the door, you and Billy were still cuddled together on the couch, so worn out from the night before that you hadn’t been able to muster up the energy to move to the bedroom. You took one glance at Billy before you were on him again, uncaring that your friends were waiting. That’s fine, you thought, let them wait. Let them wait. 

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[inlovewithfictionalmensblog]

𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ; Anakin skywalker

The feeling of loving someone who doesn't feel the same.

Jedi partners, Y/n Jinn and Anakin skywalker, have always been inseparable , one could easily think that they were in love, but how wrong they would be , seeing as though anakin skywalker has always been in love with Padme and Y/n.. well y/n is another story.

Warnings : angst!!! Violence, sadness , tears , fluff , y/n is qui-gons Adoptive daughter. The other woman vibes.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・.✫・゜・。.

——𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 , and then years did. Y/n Jinn was only a four year old girl when qui gon found her and took her in with a lot of convincing in the council. He was allowed two padawans thanks to Windu and Yoda.

Y/n was a quiet, observant, and brave jedi, listening to what was said and seeing things others were too busy to notice. Y/n rarely trusted anyone. She was even skeptical of Obi-wan at times, but somehow, in a strange way, a young, talented boy by the name anakin skywalker managed to step in and earn her trust in only a matter of seconds.

'Are you a Goddess?' He had asked her. Staring at her down, he was a boy , none other than maybe three years younger than her. Dirty blond hair and bright ocean eyes , his face was musty and dusty, but to her, he was a little adorable boy, who was probably a slave. And when she had asked him, he got offended and corrected her. That was the day she decided that she could trust him.

There was something about him, and she couldn't quite figure it out, which was rare since she was always able to know everything and anything in just the look of their eyes.

Obi-wan had used it against her at times, claiming that she'd rather trust a boy she'd only met instead of the man who's always been like a brother to her. In which, he had a point. But y/n always dissed him and rolled her eyes.

Only days later , the worst had happened, and y/n was left devastated. She had been so angry and heartbroken, she'd wouldn't leave her bed for days. Only left it when windu came to her, giving her the news that she'd be assigned to a different jedi master. Which was himself, while Obi-wan officially became one himself and was to train anakin. Y/n felt it was unfair but she did not argue.

Four years had passed, and both Ani and y/n were assigned to a mission. It had been four years since they saw each other , but now Anakin was older and much taller. Not older than her, but unfortunately, taller. Y/n and Anakin had become best friends by the end of the mission, and to that day, they were still bestfriends. But unfortunately, as his best friend, y/n had to listen to him yap all about his crush onPadme Amidala.

Which never bothered her, no , of course it didn't. Why would it? He was her best friend and that was it. But soon, that changed. Y/n began to feel things she knew she shouldn't feel, and when they both returned to coruscant for a mission to protect padme, her feelings only grew.

Seeing anakin and padme together had destroyed her insides. When she saw padme comforting anakin after his mother's death, when she saw them playing in the field in naboo , saw them kiss under the deck by the lake. All those moments had hurt her, especially when he had confessed his undying love to padme.

Y/n didn't know what to do. Anakin noticed the change in y/n. Seeing how quiet she was, she barely spoke to him and looked at him in the eye , she barely even got close to him. He didn't know why, which was rare. Because he always knew why.

It was odd. The only time she spoke to him during the entire mission was when he lost his arm, she had fought count dooku with the help of obi-wan, she had fought so hard, Anakin didn't even know if it was her fighting. It was the last thing before he shut his eyes.

The last time was when he was scared to show her the new replacement for his hand.

"This doesn't change anything, ani." Her voice was soft, gentle. Anakin was so ashamed, he couldn't even look at her. "I wasn't too quick, y/n. If I was quick enough I would still have my hand."

Y/n shakes her hand and gently grabs his metal hand, closing it with hers, her gentle eyes meet his. "There wasn't anything you could've done. Count dooku was too strong, but that doesn't mean you were weak or slow." She takes a deep breath, contemplating things.

Anakin worries for a moment, seeing her distracted face. "What's wrong?" He questions. He's searching for her eyes. She shakes her head and lets go of his hand.

"Talk to me. I feel like you haven't talked to me through this entire mission." He pleads, the sun was setting, it was warm and they were still in naboo and standing exactly where he and padme kissed.

Y/n avoids his stare and sighs. She walks toward the rails and lays her arms on it while staring at the clear blue lake. "I'm leaving." She let's out, finally. Anakin is confused.

"Leaving back to coruscant? I understand master windu wants you back but surely you c—"

"No, ani." Y/n turns herself, her eyes burned from the tears that were already swimming up. Tears shimmered in her eyes, and she takes a moment, "I'm going back to my planet. Y/p/n."

Anakin is quiet, silent. " For how long?" He asks.

"I don't know." Is all she can say. She's shrugging, sniffling. "I just need a break, I've already ta—"

"What about me?"

She's staring at him now. He's sad, confused, hurt. He doesn't want her to go. "What about me?" He repeats . He steps closer, and she takes a step back. He pauses. Raising a brow, he senses there's more to it.

"Y/n what aren't you telling me?"

Y/n looks away, "Look at me." He tells her she does. Her eyes are glossy she can barely see him clearly. "What aren't you telling me?" He says. Softly, gently. But he's eager to know.

"Nothing. There's nothing more to say." She's quick and blunt with her response, but he's not having it. He shakes his head, not believing it. He walks closer to her, almost to intimidatingly. "Tell me."

Y/n shakes her head, "I can't." She breaks down, tears falling down uncontrollably. Anakin rushes to her, grabbing her and pushing her into his arms. He doesn't know why she's hurting so much, but he wants to know. He's eager to know what's hurting her so much.

She's sobbing, clutching onto his robes. She inhales his strong scent like it's the last thing ever. After minutes of silence , she speaks, "I can't love you anymore." She whispers. She instantly feels anakin freeze underneath her. Her cheek is still pressed against his chest. He's stiff.

"I can't do it." She says again and done again. There's only silence. Anakin didn't know what to expect, but it certainly wasn't that. He'd always loved y/n, but it was never like that. "I've loved you while you've loved her.." her voice breaks, Her arms tighten around anakin.

Anakin blinks.

"Talk to me." She says, but she doesn't pull away. "You haven't talked to me." She whispers, quieter. Anakin is shocked, to say the least—speechless.

"Y/n—" he's shaking his head now, a sad expression painted all over his face. His metal hand is cold on her skin, yet she can feel every inch of his rejection from just it. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."

Y/n feels it. Feels her heart bleed from all the cracks. She nods. "It's padme, isn't it?"

"It's not just padme." Anakin is quick to say. He shakes his head, thinking hard. "I've just never seen you in that way. You've always been my best friend.."

Y/n pulls away in silence. "Y/n." His tone is soft. Y/n ignores him. She understands. She nods and smiles softly. She tries to smile genuinely. Anakin stands in front of her. He's just as hurt now. "I hope you get everything you want, Ani. Everything and more." Her tone is genuine. It's shaky and woggly.

"Y/n.."

There's many things she wants to say to him, but she'll just keep quiet. It's better that way, she's said enough. 'I love you, ani.' Is what she wants to say, 'choose me.' Is what she wants to say. But instead, she says the only thing she can.

"I love you more than a friend. I know I shouldn't, and I know it's wrong. But it's true." She says, sighing. "I can't be 'just friends' with you. I can't be just your friend, not when I'm thinking like this and it's not fair to you... these feelings.. this infatuation. But I can't do it anymore—I can't keep pretending to not love you anymore. Because even when I try not to... I end up loving you more. More than a friend should. I still want you more... more than you ever would me.." y/n doesn't look at him as she finishes. She avoids staring at him.

Y/n looks up to see him staring at her, but still, he doesn't say anything. "I love you, anakin. And it's because I love you, that i can't be near you anymore. "

She leaves him once again. He's standing straight. Staring into the lake, staring at the spot where y/n stood, confessing her love for him. All he did was stand pathetically. He doesn't chase after her, he doesn't scream for her. Because why would he?

He didn't feel anything for y/n, he loved padme. Padme was always his first choice, y/n was just his best friend . That's all she was, and all she'd ever be.

She was just 'the friend.'

In other words, she was the other woman. The woman he'd never choose, the one he'd never love.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・✫・゜・。.

[russosafehaven]

Sleepy Time

Pairing: Billy Russo x GN!Reader

Content: Sleepy!Reader, Staying up way too late, Soft!Billy, Roommates to Lovers

POV: Second

BR Taglist: @snowkestrel @judig92 @k-marzolf

~

When Billy returned from a late night with some clients he expected you to be asleep. Instead you were up on your phone mindlessly scrolling.

“Hey sweetheart, it’s almost midnight, what are you doing up?”

You turned around, looking at Billy. Your eyes looked heavy and he thought you might pass out at any moment. Chuckling to himself he reached over the couch and picked you up.

“How about we share a bed tonight? You look tired baby”

He was right, it was nearly midnight. Staying up late was one of the many things you hated. You could barely make it to 10pm without being moody. As he placed you down on his you watched him change into pyjamas. Whistling playfully when he was in his boxers. In retaliation he threw a pillow at you.

“Come on, sleepy times sweetheart”

Billy pulled you into his chest and in a matter of minutes you were asleep. Snoring like a puppy. He found it adorable, he got lucky with you.

[peterman-spideyparker]

Hypothetically Real Future (Billy Russo x fem!Reader)

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! I was supposed to post this a few days ago, but after being over-productive at work to account for taking few days off, I was too exhausted to edit and post. But here it is! The whole idea was inspired by listen to the Jackie and Ryan soundtrack and hearing Ben Barnes sing. Enjoy! :)

Summary: Billy comes to surprise you on a Friday afternoon, but when he has plans to whisk you away for the weekend, you let him in on your babysitting plans for a friend.

Warnings: Fluff (established relationship, Billy being very sweet and the secret softie he is, Billy having pet names for reader), angst (reader and Billy want some different things, but they haven't talked about it, talk about family/Billy's past)

Other Characters: OFC

Word Count: 2,908

“Hey, doll face,” Billy smiles as he leans against the doorframe to your office. 

“Billy,” you smile as you swivel toward him. Getting up, you maneuver around your desk and move to hug him. Before you can wrap him in a tight embrace, he whips out a bouquet in the space between the two of you. You giggle as the petals of the flowers tickle your nose and hide the lower half of his face, prompting Billy to playfully wiggle his eyebrows. You happily take the bouquet from his hands before leaning in for a sweet kiss. “What brings you to my neck of the woods?”

“Figured I could spring you a bit early from his place,” he hums as he rests a hand on your waist and kisses your neck. “It’s a Friday afternoon in the middle of the summer. Nothing important is getting done, and you know it.”

“You have a fair point.”

“Then let’s get going, sweetheart. I can call in a favor, and we can have a very nice, very sexy weekend in the Hamptons.”

You let out a sigh, resting your forehead on his shoulder. “I'd love that, but I can’t, though.”

“But you just said nothing was going on. Perfect excuse to leave early.”

“I’m watching my friend’s baby this weekend. Her and her husband have to go to his grandma’s funeral in Washington state, and she doesn’t feel comfortable bringing Colin on a plane. I need to grab my weekend bag before I go over to their place. Sorry it puts a wrench in your very sexy Hamptons plans.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s great that you’re doing that for them. I know if I had a baby, I wouldn’t trust them with anyone else but you.”

“Thanks,” you smile. 

“Maybe I could swing over with dinner one night. Keep you company.”

“If you keep doing things like that, Frank will tease you about going soft.”

“Yeah, that punk started to do that when we started to date.”

“Well, in that case, no need to prove him right. You’d never hear the end of it.” 

“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” he chuckles. “How about this: I bring you to your place, help you grab your things, kiss a bit, and I drop you off at their place. At least we can spend some more time together.”

You chuckle and lean in for another kiss, his hand firmly on the small of your back to hold you in the embrace. “Sounds nice, Russo.”

“Thanks, baby,” you smile as Billy pulls over in front of their house. 

“Any time, sweetheart,” he hums, kissing your cheek. “I’ll wait until you make it in.”

As you grab your things, you give Billy one more kiss and get out of the car, moving up the steps and knocking at the door. 

“(Y/N)!” your friend Anna says with a hug. “I can’t thank you enough for watching Colin this weekend.”

“Don’t even worry about it. I know how close Ronnie and his Nonna were. It’s the least I can do.”

“Is that Billy?” she asks, leaning to the side and waving to the car. 

“Yeah, he picked me up from work.”

“You know, he can stay the whole weekend. It’s not like you’re randy teenagers that are gonna have sex everywhere. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to have a two person team to deal with a two month old.”

“If you and Ronnie are sure—.”

“Of course! Just have him drive around the block, and he can take the spot we’re parked in once we leave.”

With another hug, you scurry down to the car.

“You okay, baby?” Billy asks. 

“Wanna help babysit this weekend? I’ve been given the thumbs up,” you smirk. 

“Oh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Please? It’d be easier to watch Colin with another person there. Besides, two month olds aren’t the best conversationalists.”

Billy sighs. “I’m sorry sweetheart, but . . . I’m just not good with babies.”

Your heart sinks because you know he’s lying right to your face— you’ve heard the stories of how good he was when Lisa and Frank Jr. when they were babies. You’ve seen the pictures and how he seems so comfortable, so natural with them, so happy with them, but you don’t push it. 

“Okay,” you tell him. “I’ll text you.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Moving back to the front door of your friend’s house you turn back and give Billy a wave goodbye. 

“How about we find something to watch while the bottle warms, hm?” you say to Colin as he remains nice and snuggled in the wrap. “What are you in the mood for? Comedy? Period drama? Procedural? Reruns from the 70s and 80s? Channel surfing until we find something we like?” A little grunt that falls from his mouth. “Yeah, channel surfing is good. Sometimes you don’t know what hits the spot until you find it. Wise beyond your two months, my guy.”

When you hear the doorbell ring, your brows immediately scrunch in confusion. Moving over to the bay window, you carefully peer out from behind the curtains, smiling brightly when you see Billy’s lovely profile standing patiently on the stoop. 

“We’ve got a visitor, Col,” you coo, walking over to the door to open it. “Hey, Russo.” 

“It’s good practice to ask ‘Who is it?’ before opening the door,” he grins. 

“My apologies," you chuckle. "What exactly brings you here?”

“I saw the way your face fell when you said I wouldn’t stay,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Bill, listen—.”

“You really do have a terrible poker face, sweetheart.”

“If you don’t want to be here, I’m not gonna force you.”

“I really do wanna be here, baby. I wanna be here with you. Trust me. I also brought some late night snacks.” With a lopsided smirk, he lifts up a brown paper bag. “Crab rangoons, potstickers, General Tao’s chicken, lo mien—.”

“Snacks? That’s dinner—second dinner!” you giggle, stepping to the side and ushering him in with a jerk of your head. 

“Snacks, dinner, whatever,” he smirks. “Figured you’d need to keep your energy up. Sit down, get this little guy fed, and I’ll be right there.”

With a little smile, you move to the living room and adjust, tilting Colin just right to make feeding easiest for him. As he takes the nipple into his mouth, Billy sits down next to you with two plates that have a little bit of everything in it. 

“Open, sweetheart,” he hums gently, taking a bite of his egg roll before bringing yours to your lips. You smile before you bite down, humming in delight. 

“Thank you,” you chew as you finagle the remote in your free hand and flip through the channels. “As my knight in MSG armor, you get the honor of choosing what we watch.”

“Aw, you’re too kind, princess.”

Settling on reruns of Bob’s Burgers, Billy continues to feed you while Colin finishes his bottle and you burp him. The entire thing feels incredibly domestic, and you can’t help but imagine what it would be like in your shared house, taking care of a baby that’s half you and half Billy. But then you remember how Billy acted when you brought up him babysitting with you. If he had meant what he said, though, then why would he come back with food?

“You alright, babygirl?” Billy asks softly. 

“Hm? Yeah,” you nod. “I’m gonna go and give Colin a bath before I put him down. Would you mind terribly cleaning up?”

“You got it, sweetheart.”

Getting up, you hold Colin close as you ascend the staircase and gather everything he needs. You try to prolong the bath as much as you can, your mind racing as you try to analyze Billy’s behavior. Did he feel guilty? Is he trying to save face? Billy is hard to read normally, but this is a whole new branch of difficult you didn’t know was possible. What if it’s something to do with you? Are you the reason he’s acting weird? 

Your spiral is cut short when you hear the hardwood of the townhouse shift under his weight. 

“Don’t you think he has enough lotion on him?” Billy teases softly as he rests against the door frame. “Any more, he’ll slip right out of your arms.”

“That’s a worry that never crossed my mind before now,” you sigh, looking down at how Colin smiles at you. You listen to Billy walk over, pressing a kiss to your neck as a hand rests on your waist.

“I’ll be your back up guard. He won’t stand a chance if he tries to wriggle away.”

You let out a hum of a laugh as you wipe your hands clean before you move to put a onesie on him, carefully zipping it up before Billy follows you to Colin’s nursery. 

“Can you grab me one of the books?” you ask. 

“Any one in particular?”

“I know they have Madeline—I’m the one that gave it to them.”

“Isn’t that more of—?”

“More of a what, Russo?” you challenge softly with a raised eyebrow as you sit in the rocking chair. 

“Nothing,” he says with a shake of his head.

“That’s what I thought,” you smirk. 

Taking the book from his hand, you open the book and start to read, gently rocking back and forth in the chair. Colin is quick to fall asleep, likely due to the bath, and Billy takes the book from your fingers carefully as you continue to rock him to make sure he’s out. You gingerly stand up and place him in his crib, tip-toeing out of the room with Billy. 

“How about you try to get some rest?” Billy whispers, kissing your cheek. “I’ll stay up a bit longer, keep an ear out for him.”

“Bill, I—.”

“Isn’t there a saying about sleeping when the baby sleeps? At least one of us should heed the advice.”

You stop in the hallway and turn around, cradling his face in your hands, pressing a soft, sweet kiss to his lips.

“I love you, Billy,” you whisper. “Thank you.”

Billy gives you one more kiss before gently rubbing your arms, up and down. “Sleep well, princess.”

Just as quickly as you settle in and fall asleep, you get stirred awake when you her tiny little cries make their way over the baby monitor. Sitting up in bed, you rub the sleep out of your eyes and turn your attention to he nightstand where the device rests. 

“Hey, buddy,” you hear Billy say over the monitor. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, bud, you’re safe. I’m here for you.” You listen to him let out a soft sigh as he bends over to pick Colin up, undoubtedly trying to rock him back to sleep. “No need to cry,” he hushes. After a few moments, you listen to him start singing, his voice soft, calming, and down right beautiful. It’s so unexpected, you sit in the bed, frozen in surprise as you listen. Slowly, Colin starts to calm down as Billy keeps on singing. You can’t help but smile, and you slip out of the covers and quietly pad over to the nursery, resting against the doorframe as you listen to Billy finish the song, carefully putting a sleeping Colin back down in his crib. 

“I hoped that you wouldn’t get woken up,” he says gently as he turns around and approaches you. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” you say with a soft smile. “I heard it over the monitor.”

“Oh,” he says as his cheeks flush pink.

“Don’t be embarrassed. It’s cute.”

He shuffles over to where you stand, wrapping an arm around you, pressing a lingering kiss on the crown of your head.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” he murmurs as you move to the living room. “You’ve been a bit off all night.”

“It’s nothing, Bill, I promise.”

He kisses your forehead, tucking wisps of hair behind your ear. “You know you can tell me anything. What’s going on?”

His voice is so gentle and his chocolate eyes stare at you like a needy puppy.

“You’re so good with him,” you tell him. “I’ve heard the stories from Frank—I’ve seen the pictures . . . I don’t know. I’m just overthinking it Billy, really, I—.”

“No, no, c’mon. Keep talking to me. What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

You let out a breath as you sit on the sofa and pick up one of Colin’s stuffies. “Is it because Anna and Ronnie are my friends and not yours? I know you’re not as close with them as you are with Frank, but I didn’t think that’s be a deterrent for babysitting. I mean, it should be easier to—.”

“Is that what you think this is about?”

Your heart jumps in your throat before rocketing to the bottom of your stomach. “I told you I was overthinking, and I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—.”

“Can I be honest with you, sweetheart?” 

You nod, and Billy adjusts before he leans forward to gently take your hands in his. “I didn’t want to come because I didn’t want to see you with a baby.”

Your eyebrows pull together as a small frown pulls on your lips. “I . . . I’m not following.”

He sighs and sits down carefully on the ottoman. “I knew that if I saw you with Colin all weekend, I’d want to have a baby with you.”

You look at him, desperately trying to read all the emotions on his face. “Is . . . Would that be the worst thing?”

He lets out a breath as he looks down at the floor, almost like he’s ashamed to look at you. “I never knew my dad. I don’t have a relationship with my mom. I’m screwed up enough. I don’t want to screw up another human being.”

“I guess we never really talked about anything that far ahead.”

“No,” he says quietly. “We haven’t.”

Leaning forward, you kiss his forehead, running your fingers through his hair and cradling his face.

“When my brother found out he was gonna be a dad, he was worried about a million things—how he was gonna screw up, if his kids were gonna be assholes, if he would be enough. And my dad told him that because he was worrying about all these things when he didn’t even know the sex of the baby, he was gonna be just fine. All those things showed how much he cared.” From down the hall, you can hear how Colin starts to fuss, and you lean back from his touch, pulling your hands from his as you throw your hair into a pony tail, but not before you lean forward to kiss his temple, running your fingers through his hair. “For what it’s worth,” you say softly, “I think you’d be a great father, Billy.” 

“Sweetheart—.”

“Get some rest, Billy. You’ve been up since four this morning and you watched Colin while I slept.”

Moving from him before he can protest more, you go to Colin’s nursery as you hold him, letting a tear roll down your cheek while you console him. It’s not long until he calms down, his tiny fingers curling into your shirt to hold onto you tight. You have to carefully pry his little fingers open so you can put him down, slowly as to not wake him back up.

“He all good now?” Billy asks as you slide back under the blankets. 

“Out like a light,” you tell him, pecking a kiss to his lips. “Just needed a new diaper and some cuddles.”

Turning on the mattress, Billy wraps his arms around you and nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck. 

“You’re the only person that I’d want to have a baby with,” he whispers. “I’m not ready, but . . . I hope you’d still want to have a baby with me. Some day.”

His words hit you in a spot you didn’t know about, and you just snuggle down onto him. “I do,” you whisper. “I just . . . We have some things to talk about.”

There’s a thick silence in the bedroom, but the way that Billy rolls you over and presses a pillow-soft kiss to your lips, tucking your head under his chin and wrapping you secure in his arms, it tells you that he’s open to a future he never truly thought of—not in a way that mattered to him before.

“So . . .” you start softly. “Hypothetically . . . Potentially, would this ‘someday baby’ . . . Would it be after a hypothetical wedding? If that’s something you’d be interested in. Hypothetically.”

His silence, even though it is only a few seconds, it feels like forever, and it feels like you might have just ended your relationship while cuddled in his arms. 

“Hypothetically?” he murmurs. “No.”

Your heart absolutely drops, and you can feel the tears well immediately. 

“Realistically?” Billy continues. “Absolutely.”

Sitting up in bed and pulling out of his arms, you turn to face him and smack him. “Russo, you can’t do that!”

“Ow!” he says, rubbing the spot where you smacked him. “You’ll wake Colin!”

“I don’t care!”

“Okay, I realize that wasn’t the smartest way to say things, but . . . I love you, sweetheart, I do. And after we talk things over, like really talk them over, make some pictures clearer . . . Yeah, it’s in our future. Our real future.”

Permanent Taglist: @majesticavenger​​​​​​​​​ @steampowerednightvaler​​​​​​​​​​ @themusingsofmany​​​​​​​​​​ @just-the-hiddles​​​​​​​​​​ @toozmanykids​​​​​​​ @dangertoozmanykids101​​​​​​ @clints-worldavengers @theburningbookshop​ @itwasthereaminuteago​ @peter1ismybrother​ @hellskitchens-whore​ @dpaccione

Billy Russo Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters

[e-dubbc11]

After the Rain

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Angst, couple of swear words, mentions of physical abuse, alludes to violence, fluffy ending

Word Count: 1390

Summary: An ex hurts you, and Billy starts to see red. He’s there to make sure your ex never puts his hands on you again.

A/N: I guess I have angst on the brain and I needed to get it out. Maybe I just need a hug 🤣 and I’m still trying to get the hang of this drabble thing, it’s hard to write shorter fics 😉

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

Heavy raindrops pelted against the windows of the high rise. The harmonious sounds of the storm over head were soothing as you quietly observed the dull city skyline from the living room window. Shadowy gray clouds travelled quickly across the sky, dumping buckets of rain on the busy city below.

It was a fast moving storm.

The intense rumbles of thunder resonated throughout the entire room, shaking the building at times. Rain attacked the side of the building vigorously, sounding like tiny pebbles hammering against the glass, it sounded as if the glass might shatter, like your heart did for him.

The sky was angry…very angry, just like he had been.

Not at you. No, no, no not at you. He could never be that angry with you, he loved you.

A flash of lightning illuminated the late afternoon sky, followed by a clap of thunder that sounded as if it was right above you, inside the room.

It startled you.

Surely, that one would wake him. But it didn’t. Over on the couch, Billy laid there fast asleep. He didn’t stir even a little bit. Normally, he was a very light sleeper but he’s been asleep since late last night.

When you first met him, he noticed the bruising on your arm. You had left your ex after he had made another handprint shaped bruise when he gripped and squeezed your upper arm, it wasn’t the first time he had put his hands on you. You were scared of him, scared that he would find you and hurt you again.

And Billy had told you. “If he even puts a finger on you again, I’ll kill him.”

Another loud boom of thunder sounded off above you.

When you hadn’t come home from work on time yesterday, Billy started to worry. His phone calls and texts went unanswered. Where could you be?

As soon as you stumbled through the door, he was sickened by the blood dripping down your chin, the discoloration that was just starting to form around your eye, your swollen cheek, and the red finger marks around your neck.

“He found me, Billy. I don’t know how but he found me.” You had sobbed into his crisp white dress shirt that was now coated in blood.

You were covered in city sidewalk dirt and filth after falling to the ground, he had made sure no one was around to help you. Your clothes were just a reminder of what happened to you so Billy threw them away, his blood boiling over, wanting to punch the wall as the rage overwhelmed him at the thought of that monster’s hands on you, hurting you, choking you so you couldn’t scream for help.

Meticulously, he cleaned every inch of your body. He washed away all traces of blood and dirt that he could see, gently so he didn’t hurt you, telling you that he was sorry and he will never let it happen again. He would make sure of that.

You felt him shaking with anger as he helped you put clothes on, making sure you were alright before he left to go do whatever it was he was going to do.

“I’ll kill him.” He had told you before with his lips pulled back to reveal gnashed teeth.

The cold hard tone behind those three words was frightening. You knew exactly what Billy was capable of but you didn’t want him to go.

“Please don’t go, Billy! Stay with me, please!” You begged.

But it was too late, he was gone.

You don’t remember passing out, it was probably a form of shock but you must have slept for at least a couple of hours because it was dark when you woke up.

The empty apartment had an eerie feel to it, the air felt ice cold and you were afraid for him. Your external wounds would heal but if they took him away from you, that wound would be too deep to recover from.

There wasn’t anything left to do but wait.

You had made yourself some tea but were too nervous to drink it, all you could do was sit in the dimly lit apartment, in silence, carefully watching the steam rise from the cup until there wasn’t any left which is when you heard keys unlock the door.

Spatters of blood that weren’t on his shirt when he left, decorated the front of it like red confetti. His hair, normally perfectly combed, had fallen into his eyes and the violent fury that had been in those dark intense eyes had disappeared.

Crashing against his body, you wrapped your arms around his torso. Clasping your fingers together around his body, you clutched him so tightly that you could feel the blood rushing out of your fingers as he embraced you back, shutting his eyes, and exhaling loudly. He was just happy to be home…with you.

“I didn’t do it.” He had whispered.

“Billy?” You said, slightly confused.

“I hurt him…bad, but I—I didn’t kill him.” He said, kissing the top of your head. “My thoughts were of you…if I had gone through with it, they would have taken me away from you. And I can’t be without my sweet girl.” He tilted your chin up to meet his gaze and kissed you ever so softly, he didn’t want to disturb the deep cut on your lip.

You pulled away slightly and looked at his hands. The dried blood underneath his fingernails was dark red, his knuckles were cut up, and his palms were stained. He had made an attempt to clean himself up before he came home but everything was stained red.

“He’ll NEVER hurt you again.” He told you with acid in his tone.

That was last night.

You woke up this morning to your face throbbing and your eye swollen and black so you went to the kitchen to get something for the pain and found Billy sound asleep on the couch as the dark ominous rain clouds started to conceal the late morning sky.

“I’ll be in, in a minute baby.” He had said last night, a glass of bourbon in his hand. “Try and get some sleep.”

But Billy never made it to the bed, he never even finished his bourbon. The weary look in his eyes before you had gone to bed, worried you. All of that hatred, all of that rage had consumed him and he was exhausted because of it, so you let him sleep. It was probably the most he’s slept since you met him.

You weren't sure you were worth all of this but to Billy, you were worth it.

He loved you and he was willing to kill for you.

Watching and listening to the pouring rain in front of the window, wrapped up in your blanket, the pain in your cheek started to subside, and you could open your eye just a little more. You probably looked worse than you felt, even managed a slight smile while turning around to watch him sleep.

The stains and dried blood had all been washed away, sucked down the shower drain never to be seen again but Billy would see them. Every time he looked at his hands, he’d see that asshole’s blood under his nails but he was alright with it because you were safe.

And he would do it all again if he had to.

As the storm passed, it gave way to lighter, silver colored clouds. The thunder was miles away by now and Billy had started to stir. His long slender fingers lightly resting on his stomach began to twitch, he shifted his body, slowly turning toward the outside of the couch.

Was there anything he wouldn’t do for you?

His eyelids fluttered open, revealing the pools of dark chocolate underneath. As he wiped the sleep from his eyes, he smiled at you. A smile that said “I love you.” A smile that told you no one would put their hands on you ever again.

You smiled back. It was a smile that said “I love you too.” And silently thanking him for being your lover and protector.

He would always be your protector.

The storm was finally over and the sky was already starting to look a little bit brighter.

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17

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[m-i-s-a-n-t-r-o-p]

Lost in the abyss.

Can they be saved? Can Billy and Y/N find a way through the darkness or will it consume them?

Will Billy finally put aside his past to guarantee his future? And will Y/N let go of her insecurities and fears to find peace?

Will their love be enough?

Pairing: Billy Russo x f!reader

POV: 1st

Warnings: angst, insecurities, fear of never being good enough, hints of past trauma

Word count: 2394

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Hello everyone!! I have finally decided to write something. This idea came to me quite unexpected and I have no idea where this story will go. Initially it was supposed to be just a one-shot comfort fic but i got carried away and weeeeeeellllll let’s say this could probably deserve to become a series! I would LOVE to include Billy’s pov to really get inside his head haha

Please tell me what you think and if you’d like this to become a series!! Thank you and happy reading❤️

(also i wrote this in 1st pov because it is easier for me to write but if you guys want to i can write the next parts in 2nd!)

Who am I?

How can I be me if I do not know who she is?

The featherlight breeze caressed itself gently on my cheek. The stars above me were slowly making their way across the darkened skies. And I, standing above the world, gazed silently into the abyss. There was no saving grace, no higher power to tell me what to do. Who to become. I have never felt so empty yet so full, so lonely yet never alone. It was all rather peculiar. And the night never spoke back to me. 

There was once a desire, and I suppose it remnants were still lingering around deep inside the wounds of my heart. The great desire to be known, to be understood, to be loved. Oh, to be loved in my entirety, with the dark and the light, to be loved within my sins and my virtues. And it never came. I tried to reason with myself, tried to hold onto the bit of hope I still carried in my heart. But it was too little, too shallow to really mean anything. There was never a prince charming coming to my rescue, never a knight in a shining armour fighting away my fears and insecurities.  And I doubted he would ever come. 

“You alright?” 

A velvet voice appeared behind me. I didn’t need to turn around to know to whom it belonged. Billy. 

I wouldn’t say we were friends. But we were not complete strangers also. It was a weird stage between nothing and everything in which we found ourselves situated. None of us really understood what we were and we didn’t want to dwell on it. 

His hand found mine, warm against my cold skin. Almost burning itself into my flesh, as if to remind me he was there, as if to reassure me I exist. 

“Y/N.”

My name fell so easily from his lips, almost too easily. Like it was made for this moment. I didn’t look at him. I knew that if I did, tears would stain my eyes and I would not be able to stop them. And so I resorted to simply staring in to the night, trying desperately to even out my shallowed breaths and failing miserably. 

“I don’t know who I am anymore, Billy.”

I knew he was watching me, waiting for me to go on. But no words could ever describe the war raging in me. No words were made for this feeling, for this hole of total emptiness, this nothingness residing in my soul. And strangely enough, it didn’t hurt anymore. It didn’t feel like anything. He didn’t speak – merely squeezing my hand in his, probably to encourage me to go on. And so I did. 

“I can’t feel anything anymore. It is all distant, so far away from me that I cannot reach out and grasp it. There used to be a feeling but that is long gone. I don’t know who I am. Who I am meant to be. What I am supposed to become. And I don’t like being lost. It makes me go crazy. It feels like the world is caving in and at the same time standing still. It feels like eternity has passed within a minute and a minute is as long as an eternity. Who am I, Billy? I do not know anymore. I tried searching for her, but her face has changed, and I no longer recognize her in the crowd. I do not know who I am looking for anymore. And it terrifies me. But not enough for me to be truly frightened, not enough for me to pick myself up and fight. I am so tired Billy, so tired. I don’t know if I have another fight left in me. All of my strength is gone, and I don’t know how to get it back. It hurts yet it doesn’t. It is… just nothing. But back then, even nothing used to feel like something. And now? Now…” I realised too late that I was pouring my heart out to him. To Billy Russo, a man known not to care for anything except himself and the people closest to him. And I definitely was not one of those people. “It doesn’t matter,” I said in an attempt to save myself from his prying eyes, his judgemental smirk. 

We met a year ago at a work-related event. Him representing Anvil and me as a representative of a consulting company. My team worked with him for a few months, me and Billy keeping our relationship strictly professional. I liked it that way. I knew that if he were to flirt with me, which he was very well known for, I would not be able to resist him. He was simply… breath-taking. After our deal came to an end, we kept in touch. Every once in a while, one of us would seek out the skills the other one possessed. Sometimes our conversations would slip out of their professional side and slowly fall into the uncharted waters of a beginning friendship. But I wouldn’t call us friends, no. We were mere strangers who knew bits and pieces about each other. And so this, whatever you may wish to call it, was indeed a very strange situation. 

“If it hurts, then it matters. Please, if it helps you in any way, go on. I’m listenin’. And I swear I won’t tell a soul about this.” Billy said, inching closer to me. I suddenly realised how cold I am, his warmth finding its way into the icy air enveloping me. 

“I… I don’t think this is a good idea Bill. It is certainly very rude of me to try and have you listen to my nonsense.” Shivering, I finally turned and met his gaze. I thought he would be looking at me with judgement, or maybe amusement in his dark eyes. Only I was met with a warm and comforting pair of deep brown eyes, looking at me with worry. He seemed to notice my shivering form and silently took off his suit jacket, perfectly tailored to fit his broad shoulders. Realising what he was about to do, I started to protest. “No, Billy, it’s okay, I don’t need it-“ “Hush now and take it, I don’t want you catching cold.” Billy draped the cloth over my bare shoulders, his fingertips ever-so-slightly brushing against my skin. The sudden contact sent shivers down my spine and I looked at him with gratefulness in my eyes. “But you’re gonna be cold too,” I tried to reason with him but he would have none of it. “Did you forget I was in the marines?” a slight smile appeared on his lips, their corners shooting upward, “I can handle a bit of cold, sweetheart.” I averted my gaze at the pet name. Billy never called me sweetheart before. I suppose it was simply because he felt bad for me. Yes, that was possibly it. 

Suddenly, he snuck an arm around my waist and pulled me to his side. His deep and melodic voice filling the silence of the night.

“You know, you don’t need to have everything figured out. It’s okay to be a bit lost, we all feel it at some point in our lives. And it is okay to not know who you are. Just take it slowly, one day at a time. There is no rule book you have to follow when it comes to livin’ life. You make mistakes, learn from them, you go through hell and you emerge a victor. Things have to be bad before they are good.” His hand found a way to my hair, gently caressing it. It was soothing, very much so that for the first time in a while, I felt calm. Peaceful. Not afraid of what will come tomorrow. Billy spoke again. 

“Someone once told me; the darker the night, the brighter the day. Sometimes you feel like you’re livin’ in an endless night and the day will never come. And then one day you wake up and the sun is shining and everythin’ is alright again. We can’t always have good times, you know. We need to go through shit to really appreciate when things are good.” 

I feel something shifting in me. And suddenly, there are tears streaming down my face and Billy’s hand wiping them away, his dark eyes looking at me with concern. “I just… it’s too much for me. Everything. I feel like I’m running out of time.” My voice shaky, my hands trembling, my eyes stinging. And Billy is still there, holding me, not letting me go as if he was afraid I would fall apart if he did. Which, I must admit, is probably what would happen. “I am so sick of not knowing what to do, of always waiting for a better tomorrow but it never comes Billy. It never fucking comes!” at this point I’m screaming, my whole body shaking from these built up emotions I have held hostage for too long, way too long. And Billy’s strong hands are still there, holding me close to him. “Shhh, it’s okay sweetheart. It’s okay. I’m here.” He repeats over and over again, voice barely above whisper. And as I cry there in his arms, I realise the absurdity of the situation. I am practically breaking down in front of my former boss, in front of a stranger, in front of Billy Russo. And somehow it makes me cry even more. 

“I’m here sweetheart, I’m here. Nothin’ can hurt you now. Nothin’ can get to you. I’m here and I always will. You’re not alone. I’m here.”

After a while of my restless crying and Billy’s sweet words whispered into the night, I calmed down enough to control my breathing and wipe the tears from my eyes. It was a miracle we were still alone on the balcony – the party inside was still in full swing with people drinking and having fun. Well, at least most of them were. 

Billy noticed me staring at the entrance to the building, asking “I take it you probably do not want to return to the party, do you?” It was more of a statement that a question. I silently shook my head to confirm his suspicions to which he said “it’s late, you’re exhausted and cold. I’m takin’ you home.”

Every protest from my side was quickly diminished. Billy grabbed me by my waist again, leading me through the surging crowd of happy drunk people. And suddenly I started to feel bad again for making him miss out on the party. Just before we reached the exit, I stopped right in my tracks. I met Billy’s confused gaze and offered him a small smile. “I can get myself to the hotel, don’t worry about me. I have already cost you enough of your time, go back and have fun.” As soon as those words left my lips, his expression changed to an almost angry one. “Ain’t happenin’. I said I’ll get you home and that’s what I’ll do.” I knew then there was no debating it now. Billy’s mind was set and so I had no other choice than to get in his ridiculously expensive car and have him drive me to the hotel. 

My eyes were set on the world around us, rarely paying attention to Billy. The silence between us was awkward at first, but quickly turned into one of comfort. Me being from a different town, hotel was the best option for me to be able to stay the night. It also meant that I had absolutely no idea where Billy was taking me until we stopped in front of a modern highrise building. Which was definitely not my hotel. 

I looked at Billy with a silent questions written across my face, hoping to find an answer as to where I am. “What? You couldn’t really think I’d let you stay in that crappy hotel, could you? And all alone too, after you broke down on that balcony?” I opened my mouth to protest but didn’t get the chance. “You’re stayin’ the night at my place, end of discussion.” And with that, Billy got out of his car, opening the passenger door for me and leading me into the building standing majestically in front of us. 

I probably should’ve felt scared. After all, I was with a man I barely knew, in a dress, with none of my luggage with me, and on top of that was supposed to spend the night with him. But strangely, I felt that no harm will come to me this night. I knew Billy would protect me. I don’t know where that thought came from but it set a warm feeling within me and I felt safe. 

We reached the top floor and Billy opened the front door to reveal a beautifully furnished apartment. It was modern, minimalist, yet somehow… cold? Because even though it looked and felt expensive and gorgeous, it didn’t feel like home. There were no pictures of family on his walls, no personal items on display anywhere. Everything was so neatly cleaned it almost looked straight out some magazine. 

Billy looked at me with amusement plastered on his face. I guess people don’t normally stare like this when he takes them home. And by people I mean women.

“I had all of your belongings moved from the hotel to the guest room. There is food in the fridge if you get hungry. If you need anything, I’ll be in my room – the door on the right, last one in the hall. Sleep well Y/N, goodnight.” And with that, he left me standing there, alone in this strange house, puzzled at his sudden coldness. I suppose he finally grew tired of me and my endless cries, I couldn’t blame him. Feeling worse than I did on the balcony, I silently slipped into the guest room, changed into more comfortable clothes and got under the covers. The silence was almost deafening. Thoughts were swirling in my mind and I could not get rid of them. I wished Billy would have stayed with me. But I probably wished more he never found me on the balcony. And with that thought, I fell into an uneasy sleep, one without dreams.