#birth fluff

[joelsgreys]

softness

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

summary: Joel’s a little unsure of doing skin to skin with his newborn daughter.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. JACKSON ERA. established relationship. (TW) PREGNANCY. mentions of premature birth, minor descriptions of childbirth, mentions of birth weight, it is implied that reader is breastfeeding her baby, semi accurate medical journal research, girldad! Joel, mentions of scars (Joel), mentions of insecurities and anxieties, if i missed anything, please let me know! NO MENTION OF READER’S AGE. NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF READER. no physical description of child except for her hair color/type. very minimal editing.

word count: 3.5k

a/n: i had this outline sitting in my drafts and i decided to finally just write it out and post it. it ain’t much, but it’s honest work. it is part of the safe and sound universe.

She’d made her entrance into the world early.

About four or five weeks, the commune’s doctor thinks.

Without ultrasounds, it’d been a guessing game.

And a fucking terrifying guessing game at that.

For several months, all you could do was hope.

Hope for a smooth pregnancy.

Hope for a safe labor and delivery.

Hope for a strong, healthy baby.

When you went into labor earlier than the doctor had predicted you would, all of your hopes shattered, the pieces falling around you like shards of broken glass you couldn’t put back together even if you tried.

“No! No, it’s too soon! It’s too fucking soon!” you’d cried out, the sheer panic setting in and seeping into your bones as a warm, clear liquid dripped down the insides of your legs and pooled around your bare feet. You had been in the kitchen making Ellie breakfast and packing her lunch for school—one second you’re standing there in front of the food pantry debating with yourself on what vegetable to throw into the kid’s lunch bag with her sandwich and the next you’re calling out for help as an intense pressure nestled itself between your hips. It wasn’t until you heard a faint popping sound and then felt the gush of fluid between your thighs that you’d realized what was happening. An unmistakable first sign of labor, you’d experienced your water breaking. “This can’t be happening, it’s not time yet!”

Joel, who by some stroke of sheer stupid luck had the morning off from patrol duty, instructed Ellie to run upstairs and gather some clean clothes along with a pair of boots and the warmest coat you owned that still fit. November had brought along the first snowfall of the season—the frigid temperatures outside were anything but kind and the clinic was on the opposite side of the commune, a fifteen minute walk he wished you didn’t have to make in your condition. “I know this is real fuckin’ scary darlin’ but y’need to stay calm. I need you to stay as calm as possible. Y’think that you can do that for me, sweetheart?”

He’d been just as terrified, but he masked it well.

On the outside, he kept a calm, collected composure for your sake and for Ellie’s too, shoved aside his own fears so he could be the support you both needed, act as the glue that held yours and his little family unit together should anything were to happen. But on the inside, he was scared shitless, to say the least. He couldn’t be certain he would have the strength to hold himself together if something went wrong, if he lost you—or his unborn child.

Admittedly, it had taken him a few months to come to terms with the fact that he was going to be a father again at this stage in his life. The thought of him changing diapers at his age was one he couldn’t quite wrap his mind around—but the moment he felt that first little flutter of movement one night as you lay curled up against his side fast asleep, something shifted. That night, he had stayed wide awake, his large hand splayed over your bare belly in hopes he would feel that little flutter again.

“Joel, I’m really fucking scared. What if it’s too early—”

“Baby, look at me.” He reached up and gently took your chin, holding it between his thumb and index finger as he coaxed your gaze to meet his own. “S’gonna be okay,” he’d assured you, softly. “If this is happenin’ now, it’s because she’s ready, alright?”

For a split second, that panic had ceased.

“She?”

Confused, Joel’s brow furrowed. “Huh?”

“You just referred to the baby as a she, Joel.”

“I did?”

“Yeah—just now.” You’d stared at him with curiosity and took a step back, cradling your belly in both of your hands. “Do you think we’re having a girl?”

Sheepishly, he had shaken his head at you.

“No, I just—m’sorry. I ain’t all too sure why I said that.”

He truly, honestly hadn’t.

It’d slipped before he could even think about it.

But his accidental slip had been right.

After thirteen hours of grueling labor in Jackson’s small clinic, you’d given birth to a little girl, the sound of her loud wailing filling the whole room like a sweet melody eliciting a sob of joy from you and a shaky sigh of relief from Joel.

“Holy shit, she’s here! She’s actually fucking here,” Ellie breathed, her eyes going wide. Her arms were still wrapped around one of your legs—despite you warning the teenager about what she would see, it hadn’t stopped her from volunteering her assistance in the childbirth process. She watched on in a mix of both fascination and disgust as Dr. Porter, a woman in her sixties who served as Jackson’s sole physician, lifted the infant and immediately placed her onto your bare chest to clean her off. “This has gotta be the grossest, most amazing fucking thing I have ever fucking seen in my life.” Gently, she set your leg down onto the bed before walking around it to stand beside Joel. His hand was stroking your hair, his dark eyes trained on his crying newborn daughter. It was the perfect moment for Ellie to run her mouth and tease, “You’re not gonna cry, are you, Joel? I’d think you’re a lot fucking tougher than that, old man.”

“Shut up,” he’d muttered under his breath, putting an arm around her and pulling her against his side. He almost couldn’t believe this was now his life—a life he would have never even known if he hadn’t flinched twenty years ago when he had pulled the trigger.

Though she’d been born a few weeks prematurely, Rosemary Miller was deemed to be healthy—a tad underweight, but nothing to be worried about just yet, according to Jackie, the commune’s nurse. At about four pounds, eleven ounces, Rosemary was the tiniest thing you’d ever seen and somehow even tinier when Joel would cradle her in the palms of his large hands. Despite the fact that you’d been reassured that the baby’s low birth weight was nothing to be alarmed about, you and Joel had been advised it was best if you didn’t take her home until she gained a few more ounces and tipped the a scale at what the books state is a normal birth weight of five pounds, eight ounces.

“We just would feel better if she were here at the clinic where we can closely monitor her weight,” Jackie had said upon seeing the crestfallen look on your face. “Besides, you tore a little and you need time to heal as well, you know.”

Left with very little choice, you’d agreed to it.

“I’m losing it,” you say with an exasperated sigh as you stare up at the drab, gray ceiling. It’s been three days since you had given birth and all you want to do is take your daughter home. In an effort to lift your spirits, Maria had tried to warm the place up and make it feel more comfortable for you. She had swapped out the rough, scratchy bedsheet the clinic provided for you with a soft, knitted blanket she had made herself. She also took it upon herself to pack you a bag with your own clothes, a couple of books to read, and your favorite polaroids of Joel and Ellie. While it had been incredibly sweet of her to do for you, you still wanted out of that clinic sooner rather than later. “I miss our house. I miss our bed. I miss our kid.”

Joel, who’s sitting in an old, worn leather armchair tucked over in a corner of your room next to the frosted window, raises an eyebrow at you and then juts his chin towards Rosemary, who is swaddled up and sleeping soundly in the plastic bassinet beside your bed.

“Our kid’s right there, darlin’.”

You lift your head off your pillow and glare at him.

“I’m talking about Ellie, Joel.”

He chuckles and leans forward in his chair. Next to him sits a brown stuffed bunny rabbit—Ellie had traded a precious comic book for it and gifted it to the baby the same afternoon she was born. 

“She’s been comin’ to visit every day after school.”

“It’s not the same,” you pout, shaking your head.

Joel sighs and glances at the cot that he had been sleeping on for the last few days—truth be told, he misses the house too. His back certainly misses the bed. “It ain’t the same,” he agrees, tiredly. His face is worn with exhaustion. Despite you insisting that he go home and get some proper rest, he’s too stubborn to listen and only leaves the clinic to take a shower and change his clothes—and to check on Ellie, who’s got a bad habit of not doing her homework unless you or Joel nag her to get it done. “M’real sorry, darlin’. But you heard what they said. Baby’s gotta gain a little more weight before we can take her home.”

Even from where he’s sitting, he can see your eyes glaze over with tears of frustration. Since the baby was born, you’ve been very sensitive, more so than when you’d been pregnant—something he didn’t think was even possible.

“If she keeps on eatin’ the way she’s eatin’ we’ll be home by the end of the week,” Joel adds in an effort to cheer you up. “Besides, you need to heal before we make that long walk across town and back to the house, sweetheart. S’not like I can just pull up the fuckin’ minivan and drive you girls home like back in the day, y’know?”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “Ew, Joel. We would not have a fucking minivan.” Dabbing at your eyes with the back of your hand, you can’t help but laugh at the thought of Joel Miller behind the wheel of one of those things. Then, you realize how endearing it would be to watch as he’s loading up Rosemary’s car seat into the van, the muscles of his broad back flexing underneath his shirt as he pulled on the straps to make sure it was safe and secure. You’d climb into the backseat with her and on the way home, you would ask Joel to swing through the nearest burger joint drive through because you’re fucking starving and in need of a proper meal after being subjected to boring, bland hospital food. You shoot him a small smile. “On second thought, that doesn’t sound all that bad. Maybe we would.”

Suddenly, there’s a light knock at the door.

“Come in,” you call, careful not to be too loud.

Dr. Porter walks into the room.

She had been a primary care physician prior to the world ending, according to Maria, who a couple of months ago had given birth to her son while under Dr. Porter’s care. Maria had assured you that, even though the woman never trained in obstetrics, she always went above and beyond for all the mothers to be in the commune. She dedicated her spare time to studying, lost herself in medical books she found on the shelves of the town’s library—kind of like the one that’s currently tucked underneath her arm.

“Hi there mama,” she greets, her eyes shining brightly behind her coke-bottle glasses. Wearing jeans and a sweater, she doesn’t quite look the part—maybe she’d worn a white coat once in her life, but now it was only the old, silver metal stethoscope she had draped around her neck that gave her profession away. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“I’m okay,” you say with a shrug. “Can’t complain.”

Over in his corner, Joel can’t help but snort.

Ignoring him, you add, “Bleeding’s slowing down.”

“Good, that’s good,” Dr. Porter tells you. “And how about this sweet little girl?” She smiles and makes her way over to the bassinet, keeping her voice low. “She eating well?”

“She is. Her last feed was about two hours ago.”

“How’s she sleeping?”

“Like a rock.”

“And you’ve been doing skin to skin as well?”

You nod. “Yes, before and after her feedings.”

“That’s perfect.” Dr. Porter beams at you with pride. “Keep it up and do it as often as possible. There are a ton of benefits of doing skin to skin with her. It’s one of the most incredible things that a mother can do for her baby. Actually—” She pauses for a moment and pulls the book out from under her arm. “I have been doing a bit of research and as it turns out, there are also benefits if dad does skin to skin with baby as well.”

Joel stiffens slightly in his chair. “S’cuse me?”

“I found this book in the library. It talks about all of the benefits of fathers doing skin to skin with their newborn. It was written some time in the nineties and studies were still being conducted, but I really believe they were onto something.” She hands you the book. “For being preterm, Rosemary’s healthy, but it doesn’t do any harm to try whatever you can to make sure that she builds up that immune system and stays healthy, especially now that winter’s here.” Flashing you a smile, she informs you, “I went ahead and folded the pages for you and made some notes. There’s a few benefits in it for Joel as well. Could be worth a try.”

After telling you she’ll be back in a couple hours to check on you and to weigh the baby, Dr. Porter excuses herself from your room, quietly closing the door behind her.

Curiously, you open the book to the first page that she’d folded for you and start reading the first passage out loud.

“Ongoing studies have found skin to skin between father and child have similar benefits to those that come from skin to skin between mother and child. It regulates the baby's body temperature, blood sugar, and stress levels.” You pause and look over at Joel, who appears thoroughly unimpressed. “It also helps to regulate the baby’s heart rate and breathing rate. Joel, this is incredible! I think you should—”

“No.”

Joel winces. He doesn’t mean to sound so curt.

Your face falls. “Why not?”

“That’s for mothers,” he grumbles. “Y’know, for feedin’ the baby.”

“It’s for much more than just that.” You shake your head and flip over to the next page, scanning both the text as well as Dr. Porter’s notes. “It says here that it also helps the baby pick up their father’s natural scent and promotes bonding.”

“Sweetheart, I can bond with her just fine with my fuckin’ shirt on, there ain’t no need for me to—what in the world are you doin’?” Perturbed, Joel watches you as you take a handful of your blanket, throwing it off yourself. He jumps up to his feet the second he realizes that you’re about to get out of bed. “Don’t—”

“Oh relax, Joel. I should be moving more anyway,” you say, wincing as you sit up and swing both legs over the side of the bed. It isn’t so much pain as it is discomfort—everything had been shoved up and out of place for months, after all. As soon as you stand, Joel’s there at your side, one hand on your arm and the other on your back, trying to guide you back onto the bed. You lightly swat him away with your hand. “Joel, stop fussing over me! I’m fine!”

“Baby, y’need to lie down right now—”

“Take off your shirt.”

His hands fall away from you and his eyes widen.

“What?”

“Take off your shirt and go sit down in the chair.”

The blood drains from his face and he pales. 

It’s not that Joel doesn’t want to do it. He does.

He’ll do anything if it’s for his daughter’s benefit.

Still.

The idea of laying his innocent little baby girl on him without his shirt on—it’s uncomfortable. His chest and stomach are littered with several scars. Rough, raised patches of skin that serve as reminders of a brutal past he doesn’t want her finding out about, not for as long as he can fucking help it.

Rosemary deserves to be wrapped up in softness.

The softness of your smooth, blemish free skin.

The softness of the blankets you’d knitted for her.

The softness of the stuffed bunny Ellie had given her.

Joel?

He isn’t soft.

Nothing about him is soft.

Even holding her in his hands for the first time had been something of a battle. Hands that once snapped necks and slit throats didn’t deserve to hold something so pure and innocent.

“This sounds really promising, Joel.” Slowly, you make your way over to the plastic bassinet, ignoring the dull ache between your thighs. With your back to him, you carefully begin to unswaddle the baby. You try not to wake her as you peel off her warm, knitted onesie and matching socks, leaving her in nothing but her teeny, tiny cloth diaper. Gingerly, you pick her up and turn around to face him. “If Dr. Porter thinks we should try it, then it’s for a good reason, don’t you think so?”

Joel swallows harshly.

“What is it?”

“S’just that I—I’ve got scars everywhere, y’know?”

Your expression instantly softens for him. “Joel, you’re her daddy,” you remind him, gently. “She’s not going to care about things like that.” Pausing, it suddenly occurs to you that it’s not just about his scars. It’s about something else, something that runs so much deeper for Joel. He’d done what he had done in order to survive, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t live with the shame—the guilt and the regret. Rosemary begins to fuss awake and you lightly bounce her in your arms as you assure him, “She isn’t going to care about your past or what you’ve done. Her love for you is going to be as unconditional as yours is for her. She’s going to love you no matter what, Joel. I can promise you that.”

His jaw clenches and his lips press into a tight line.

Rosemary starts to cry—she’s cold, no doubt.

The old heater in the clinic hardly runs.

And when it does, it breaks down.

“Joel, please,” you beg over her wails. “Just try it? For me? For her?”

Sighing in defeat, Joel shrugs out of his jacket and he tosses it aside. With trembling fingers, he begins to unbutton his green flannel shirt—his long sleeved thermal henley comes off next and then he takes off the cotton t-shirt he wears underneath for an added layer of warmth during the winter season. As he stands there shirtless, he shivers and his flesh erupts with goosebumps. “Wait,” he mutters as he watches you take a step forward. He drags the armchair away from the window. He then sits down, his heart racing and the anxiety flaring as he gives you a subtle nod of his head. “Okay.”

You walk over to him and place her on his bare chest.

The second he feels Rosie’s soft skin on his, there’s a shift.

It’s similar to the one he felt when he first felt her move in your belly.

He calms and his heart slows—his nerves dissipate. 

And Rosemary stops crying.

She scrunches, curls up on his chest, and yawns.

Grimacing, you lean over and pick up his flannel shirt. “Here,” you say, draping it over them as a makeshift blanket. “How’s that feel?”

“Think she likes it, darlin’,” Joel murmurs, his fingers delicately brushing over her soft tufts of dark brown hair. His touch causes the newborn’s lip to curl and he catches a glimpse of the prominent dimple in her left cheek—the same dimple Sarah had inherited from him, Rosemary had inherited too. There’s a dull ache in his chest, but somehow, he still smiles as she peers up at him with sleepy eyes. “Hi, Rosie Posie. S’me, babygirl. Your daddy.”

Rolling your lip between your teeth, you stifle a giggle.

“What?” he asks, arching an eyebrow at you.

“She’s not the only one who seems to like it.”

Joel chuckles, admitting, “S’pretty relaxin’.” He presses his nose into his daughter’s curls and inhales deeply, relishing in the warm, sweet milky scent of her. After a minute, his smile falters slightly. “Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you really believe it?”

Your brow furrows. “Believe what?”

“That she’s gonna love me no matter what.”

“Of course I do.”

“How can you be so sure ‘bout it?”

Carefully, you perch yourself on the arm of the chair and press a gentle kiss against his right temple, your lips brushing over his scar. “Because I just am, Joel.”

Somehow, he believes it—he believes you.

Joel tilts his head back, puckering his lips.

Grinning, you give him a chaste kiss before standing. “I’m going to see if I can get a nap in before her next feed,” you tell him, padding back over to the bed. “Do you think you’ll be okay with her for a while, just the two of you?”

“I think we’ll be just fine,” he murmurs, gingerly stroking Rosemary’s silky cheek with his finger. “Yeah. We’ll be just fine, won’t we, babygirl?”

divider credit to @saradika-graphics 🤎

[spacebarbarianweird]

Little Bundle of Darkness

Synopsis: Astarion becomes a father.

Tags: fluff, comfort, dadstarion, dhampirs, pregnancy

Alethaine's age: newborn

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

Thanks @lobster-risotto for beta-reading!

Astarion wants to leave the house, just to distract himself a bit. Just to take a break.

A cry of pain pierces the air. 

The vampire starts moving objects in the room mindlessly. He hates dissociating but at this moment he misses this feeling of not being present in the moment.

It's been years since he felt so useless, so doomed. And so scared.

Another cry, louder than the previous one, and Astarion clenches his fists as if being ready to attack an invisible enemy. 

He and Tiriel have been through a lot. He has seen her in blood and pain many times - his fierce warrior-wife who wields a two-handed axe with the same elegance he uses daggers is unstoppable and unbreakable.

But this… this is different. 

"I - I can't!", he hears Tiriel. "It hurts!"

Whatever she wants to say next, drowns in yet another cry.

Astarion casts a glance outside. The sun is still shining so he is locked inside the house. Helpless and useless while Tiriel is suffering in agonizing pain only with a midwife to be by her side.

...He had no idea it was possible. He is an undead. Undead men don't impregnate mortal women. Besides, it had been twenty years since they met. If it had been possible to conceive a child, it would have happened a long time ago.

But – 

One day her blood just tasted different. And Tiriel was so tired she couldn’t lift her weapon on their back home from the wilderness. She was claiming everything was all right and he had to drag her to the town’s healer.

She came back much sooner than he expected, and he immediately sensed something was utterly wrong. Tiriel sat in front of him in the chair, eyes firmly fixed on her hands.

"My sweet, what did he say?" Astarion asked. By this moment he started feeling a wave of his own panic. Tiriel is mortal. She is a warrior, yes, but she isn’t immune to curses and, after all, death. And besides he had never seen her like that.

"Astarion, tell me one thing. Have you heard about children born from vampires?"

"Yes, I have. Dhampirs. It’s like being a vampire without downsides,"he got so carried away that he basically gave a lecture to Tiriel, and then stumbled. "Why do you ask?"

And then she put her hand on her belly.

“He told me I am pregnant.”

… The next months were intense. Sometimes everything was good. They could even sit and talk about the future – sure, the child was going to be an elf with just a bit of human ancestry on Tiriel’s side. 

But more often than that they both were scared. Tiriel had insane mood swings and she would burst into tears after some innocent mockery from him. He had nightmares and panic attacks. Everything he thought had gone for good returned the instant he’d learned about pregnancy. 

And Tiriel… Well, the thing is women die at childbirth even if the child is mortal. Even if before the woman has challenged the gods.

Cries from upstairs are unbearable to hear. Astarion wants to be there with Tiriel and, at the same time, he wants to be miles away. And it’s all his fault. 

If she dies, it will be his fault.

Fuck it.

Astarion goes up and with a bit of hesitation pushes the door. The smell of familiar blood makes his head spin.

“Go away, idiot! I told you not to come here!” the midwife curses. “There is too much blood!”

“No, please!” Tiriel begs, reaching out for him, “Don’t go!”

Astarion kneels beside her and squeezes her hand. “I am not going anywhere, my sweet.”

What if something is wrong? What if the child is some monster, not even resembling a sentient being? What if…

And suddenly Tiriel goes silent.

A squeal, full of fury and distress, pierces the room.

“Well, this one looks like a healthy girl”, the midwife places the baby in Tiriel's arms. 

The tiny Elven baby with long pointy ears stops crying, feeling her mother’s skin against hers.

Astarion stares at the child in shock.

“Didn’t really take after me, did you?” Tiriel adjusts herself a bit in the bed. “My lovely beautiful girl”, she presses a kiss against the baby’s forehead, “Look at her ears, they are like yours!”

Astarion can’t take his eye off them. His child. His and Tiriel’s. His daughter. Not a monster – just a baby. 

The long pointy ears twitch, and Tiriel starts caressing them.

“Tiriel… My love…”, he finally manages to speak again, “Her ears are very sensitive, don’t touch them too much”.

“Oh, I am sorry”, Tiriel stops. “But they are so cute!”

“They are.”

Astarion can’t decipher what exactly he feels. All these months the child was just an idea, something he couldn’t feel attachment to. But now that the baby is born, the realization that nothing will be the same hits him. That his life has just changed forever.

And this is good. The worst thing that was happening to him all the centuries of enslavement was the understanding that nothing would ever change. Nothing would get better or worse because everything would stay the same. And now, it’s something new. Something natural. Something he thought was available only for normal people, not someone so twisted and ruined like him.

Tiriel touches his arm softly.

“Hold her.”

“What?! No! I am not…”

“It’s your child, Astarion”

Astarion stands up and recoils. “Tiriel, I will hurt her! Look at her, she is small! I will… I will do something to her!”

It seems like his voice scares the newborn and she starts crying again. 

“Sit with me”, Tiriel asks. “Please”

Astarion hesitates but obliges. Before he says anything, the little bundle is already placed in his pale arms.

He freezes. The girl cries even louder demanding to be returned to her mother. Astarion touches her forehead with his fingers – the skin feels delicate like silk”

“Ai armiel telere maenen hir, salen damia”, he whispers in Elven.

And the girl stops crying. She looks at him with her dark eyes and suddenly smiles. The newborn stretches her tiny arms as if trying to reach out for his face. 

And Astarion bursts into tears. Sobbing, he cradles the baby in his arms, hearing the fast heartbeat within her delicate rib cage. 

It’s his daughter. His treasure. The reward for everything he’s been through. The sign that he has been doing the right things all these years.

Tiriel puts her chin on his shoulder and wraps her hands around his waist.

“Thank you, my love”, Astarion says to her. “This is a gift.”

They sit like that for what feels like an eternity. Finally, Tiriel breaks the silence.

“She needs a name.”

Astarion studies the girl’s face as if looking for a hint. Then, the name comes to his mind, though he doesn't know where he could have heard it.

“Alethaine. My love, can we call her Alethaine?”

Tiriel nods. “It’s not like I have any other suggestions. I was scared to death the whole time. It’s beautiful. Let’s call her that”.

It’s already night when the midwife leaves the house. Astarion helps Tiriel to get to the bed with clean sheets and then brings her sleeping Alethaine.

Astarion watches how Tiriel pulls the collar of her shirt freeing swollen breasts and then places the girl that way so her mouth in front of the nipple. The girl makes sucking movements and her ears twitch simultaneously.

Tiriel starts humming – and Astarion recognizes a human lullaby he’s heard from Tiriel maybe only once or twice. 

He carefully puts his head on Tiriel’s lap so he can see both his wife and daughter.

“How are you feeling?” he finally asks.

“Tired. Happy. And you?”

Astarion chuckles. “You pushed a whole Elven baby out of your body and wonder how I am feeling?”

“Actually, yes”

“I feel … alive.”

Tiriel reaches to his silver curls and strokes the hair with her free hand.

“Thank you for giving her to me”, she whispers.

Ai armiel telere maenen hir, salen damia (Elven) - you hold my heart forever, my child

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati

[tearskillstardust]

❝ OF THOUGHT AND BIRTH DIVINE. ❞

001. 𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐌—智慧之神。

Since antiquity, a word goes around in the lands surrounding the capital.

It's nothing new really, an old wives' tale—it has been passed from generation to generation by curious mothers who were once children themselves, having listened to the same story at least thrice from their own mothers before it was ultimately passed down to the next generation.

Your own mother had been shelling peas when she casually brought it up and you as casually dropped the vellum to listen in closer.

'They say the knowledge of prose and poetry is passed down by the God of wisdom, himself, and it is only from his generous blessing that one is able to find skill in these areas that leave most counting stars. '

You laughed, finding it as stupid as a donkey winning in a race of horses.

'Oh?' you questioned, and she passed a side-eye at your smug expression as you continued, 'And how much, pray tell, did you reminisce of', you sarcastically made exclamation marks in the air here, 'the God of wisdom, to have a child so blessed in the knowledge of poetry such as I?'

You did not have the right to complain when her hand playfully came to smack you at the side of your back, your father laughing as he came to settle next to you on the cot, having managed to find some free time from work only then.

'She's right, though, isn't she? Your child is blessed with the knowledge of poetry, why not appreciate it sometimes?'

Your mother passed a fond look before playfully pulling on your ear as you winced just as naughtily to provoke your father into taking your side—

'Aaah! Papa!'

'Don't listen to her! Arrogance keeps surfacing in this child's countenance!'

Your father laughs, affectionately freeing you from your mother as he handed you your vellum and secretively pointed towards his study.

He turns to your mother, 'You can't be like that with her anymore, love. She's grown and will marry away in some time, be kinder.'

Right, you think, rolling your eyes, finding the fun atmosphere deflating as you returned towards the study. You put away father's books from before—logs and registers detailing the exchanges of his store's valuables—absentmindedly staring at the feather in your hand as you played with its ink, making random pictures of flowers on the edge of you sheet.

If the restrictions put on all politically, especially the young who needed the most freedom of all, were not enough already, then there everyone was—putting more pressure socially.

Marriage was never a matter of casualty, if it occurred without inviting family from even the ends of the earth, then it was considered an unsuccessful one—and while you yourself were not big on having kids and romancing boys, the prospect of having a compatible, loving partner was not one that never crossed your mind.

Alas, you stared at the blank sheet with a more than bored look upon your features.

Inspiration was always hard to find.

Putting down your pen you rose with a sigh, gaze shaded with disappointment over inability to complete the poetry. What would rhyme with saccharine, anyway?

Mine?

No, you thought, turning towards the exit of the house without consulting anyone, only vaguely announcing to your father who sat on the cot, quietly enjoying his tea, as his gentle eyes traced your movements.

'I'll be back,' you said, and he nodded with a soft smile. Innocent, he was. Your father, that is. A man of simple but honest means, always smiling and finding joy in the basic things—your mother wasn't selfish herself, but she was certainly much cleverer than her husband.

You chuckled absent-mindedly, they were a cute couple. While most certainly were they a couple put together randomly by their families, they had accidentally ended up being the most compatible for each other than either would today admit. But when the moon danced with the clouds, it were their laughs of genuine amusement, arising from reminiscing old moments spent together, that softly sparked joy within your heart.

It was a tiny wish then, in the very corner of your heart, that if you end up marrying a noble man, then he too, be as lucky as your father had been for your mother.

Lost in thoughts, when the expanse to the lake had been covered, that you did not know but you headed straight towards the still water body. Sitting next to its very edge with a sigh, wallowing in self-pity as you sought to better your mood, you began thus, looking at your reflection in the still water—

'Often do lilies turn to me, hiding faces showered in glee. Shaded in shyness the orchids ask, where were you gone, Malika? and in my innocence I answer, to the devil's lair.'

Silence.

You broke out laughing, finding the poem less descriptive of your own self than it was of the orchid's undying curiosity as its vines spread their feet as far as they possibly could.

And while the poetry itself was a little less than mediocre in your eyes, someone else seemed to have been much too impressed for either of your best interests.

It was when you finally began preparing to rise, having had more than enough ideas to continue your work when he interrupted, both intrigued and upset as he spoke—

'Will you speak no more?'

You turned around quickly, and much to your embarrassment, did not manage to find the source of the voice until he scoffed again and waved his book boredly, 'Here, lady.'

You cocked a brow at him, 'I'm not a lady but you're definitely an auntie. Tell me, what is it?'

He curiously asked, voice managing to hide his internal desperation, 'Will you compose poetry no more?'

You looked him up and down and it was then that you managed to catch a proper glimpse of him as the clouds cleared, as though the Gods themselves were keen on enhancing his divinity, the crown of his hair shaded with pale yellow light.

He was young in appearance, perhaps even a girl's dream husband, but the stillness of his disposition and eyes spoke of a maturity which was rarely found.

You would've described him in fluent poetry, should you have had the patience or the time (or even interest), but just as quickly did the sun hide and the shadow fell upon him once again.

You breathed, and so did he.

You turned around with the attitude of a real Malika, 'No.'

'Why not?', came his answer, just as quick.

You rolled your eyes, turning back with an annoyed expression, 'Don't you know it's rude to listen on to people secretly?'

He sighed, 'Your voice is too melodious not to be listened to, Malika.'

You passed a dull expression, 'Lady to Malika, huh?', then rolled your eyes boredly, 'Chameleon.'

An amused smile stretched across his features, and if it didn't already seem as though the Gods had carved him out of the finest marble, then now it seemed as though sunlight poured from urns onto his ethereal features.

You blushed red at your internal monologue of his beauty.

Why did it matter, anyway?

People were never allowed to choose partners of their own, regardless they be lovers or not. Ideas of romance were better of printed on paper and sold off for gold—not for building your future on. Or so your mother said.

'Lost in thought?', he inquired, sitting up straight as he shut his book, yawning quietly before his gaze turned to meet yours once again.

'No, I know what I have to do.' you shook your head and turned away again, only to lulled in by the trap of his own voice once again.

'Please,' he said, desperate now, and you could not help but feel the smallest pang of shyness at his insistence. 'If not poetry, then talk about something. Anything.'

'Like?', you questioned once again, cursing your curiosity and intrigue with the young man once again. But who were you to deny yourself the simplicity of indulging in conversation with one so charming as him?

He smiled, but only innocence lay behind its drape. 'Like, what's your name?'

The cry of the cuckoo came to you on the wind.

You answered with a glittering smile, 'Y/n. And yours?'

He smiled back, just as illustrious in his wake. 'Al Haitham.'

If you were surprised at the scholarly name, you did not show it.

Silence ensued, in the midst of which none desired to speak. It was the first time you were with him in which he did not desire you to speak, but merely to smile as he watched on, as though unable to move on from the tantalizing spell of your gently tugged lips.

Squirrels curiously peeked from behind trees laden with fruits, as the curious sparrows lined up together in serenity, watching on. Even the mischievous macaque stopped for a moment's notice, taking a break from dropping half-eaten fruits into the water, for the pleasure of watching its surface ripple.

He spoke at long last—voice laced with unimaginable gentleness.

'Pray tell, what troubles you so? Did the poetess/poet not find enough inspiration for her/his work?'

You smiled gently, your heart just as calm as you were, as though under a spell. 'Indeed.'

He chuckled, 'Blessed with a moon-like face and still troubling yourself with inspiration?' he rose suddenly, humming thoughtfully as he came closer to you with a teasing smile.

'Just a suggestion', he said, smile never leaving his features, 'Why not write about how the sun fell for the moon?'

'Oh?', you asked, suppressing a smile at his implication, considering the way the sun seemed to sit right upon his head, as though a crown.

He nodded again, 'The way it so desperately tried to reach her,' his gaze flickered ever so gently towards your hands, 'only to be held back by the confines of the sky.'

'Confines of the sky or confines of its own rule?'

However romantic may the sentence itself might have been, the aura of gentleness contained in him never managed to leave, as though he knew nothing but gentleness for you.

His gaze softly brushed over yours and he pointed towards the small twig stuck in your hair, removing it when you nodded softly.

'Alas, the moon is much too a beauty to be forced into submission,' he playfully answered, 'The sun must find a way to reach her in the end.'

You winked at him, just as playful of nature, if not more. 'Well, he might have to do it quick then. For should the stars reach her before the sun does,' you softly poked his nose at that, 'then the sun will be left watching.'

His gaze glittered with adoration and love, as though he had never seen more beautiful a being. You flattered yourself and turned on your heel, walking away with a smile before his voice came to you once again—

'Will you meet me here tomorrow?'

You turned playfully, the wind playing with your hair, reflecting your saccharine mood.

'What if I don't?', you shouted back, and his laugh came on the wind,

'I'll wait for you regardless!'

And while the question of whether or not you would meet him by the lake the next day was one you would decide on spontaneously, it was magical almost when your pen seemed to simply glide in your hands. Words stringed like necklaces of pearl in quick succession—

You suddenly remembered your mother's tale and the young man, finding it funny how seemingly, a talent for writing was certainly not one that was bestowed upon personally by the 'God of wisdom', whomsoever might the deity behind the name be.

Unless, well, Al Haitham was the deity.

You chuckle to yourself at the prospect, impossible, you think to yourself, feather dipping in ink as you continued the verse.

And understanding with the snap of his finger, the thoughts swirling in your mind, Al Haitham smiles to himself contentedly.

Most often, love is found in the most unexpected of places.

Better it was that way—he laughs to himself as he thinks that.

Confessions of truth and identity would be a tough challenge, but what was love, if not a challenge itself?

Nonetheless, for now, your smile was more than enough for him.

taglist : @astrothingsiwillneed, @dollhwa, @franxx-law, @lovingami, @mxyarylla, @ichorstainedskin, @nezukoo-channn, @arisaturn, @moodybluesrequiem80, @sleepy-waffle, @angel-of-requiem, @maleniaswife, @imgonnacrackarib, @flilou02, @beloved-brynn, @confusedo-17, @3443652, @wolfiafuntime, @meimeimeirin, @dottoresil, @sleepy-waffle, @floraldresvi, @ayra2452008, @peachiimcha, @dumb-gemini, @sh1-j1m4, @sangoqueenkoko, @kokosheep, @apwing @cheezzyshhh @willbedecided, @darktypedreams, @urlocalheizousimp @neuviloved @stormyenglish-23 @ishiyii @reixtsu @scaranthropy @caffeineinjelly @mellowberrie

[mugi-sktch]

happy birthday toge! 🎂

[amalythea]

「 may sparks fly 」

⤷ info: lyney x gn!reader || fluff!! also a lil bit of crack haha || wc: 1928

⤷ warnings: lyney has the dumb blonde syndrome where he is too blind to realize he is in love, he's also v jealous at some point, are there plot holes in this? possibly. do i care? a little but theres nothing i can do about it now. i may have rushed the ending a lil but its okay we can look past that right guys

⤷ extra: happy bday @thexianzhoujade !! you thought i was done? you thought wrong. (also a very big thank you to @ryuryuryuyurboat for the idea & @blue-b3rries for proofreading <33)

In the heart of the bustling Fontaine city, Lyney captivated the imaginations of children with his dazzling tricks. With a flourish of his hand and a mischievous twinkle in his eye, he effortlessly wove illusions that left his young audience in awe.

As he performed his routine with practiced precision, a figure caught his eye among the crowd. It was a person unlike any other, your gaze fixed intently on Lyney as if drawn by an invisible force. For a fleeting moment, your eyes met, and Lyney's heart skipped a beat.

Caught off guard by the unexpected connection, Lyney's fingers faltered, causing his trick to go awry. With a sheepish grin, he laughed off the mistake, chalking it up to a momentary lapse in concentration.

“Ah, it seems I've let a bit of my clumsiness sneak into the act today,” he playfully announced to the kids, who erupted into laughter. Lyney, ever the showman, continued with the performance, eager to prove that the mishap was nothing more than a fleeting mistake.

However, as the days went by, you continued to linger in the crowd. Every time Lyney attempted a trick, your gaze bore into him, causing an unexpected flutter in his chest. And, just as consistently, whenever your eyes locked, Lyney found himself stumbling over his magic, much to the delight of his young audience.

With each mistake, Lyney offered a lighthearted excuse, blaming fatigue, clumsiness, or even an imaginary mischievous fairy. The children loved the added humor, unaware of the secret dance unfolding between the magician and his silent observer.

Lynette had long since caught on to your presence. She observed with an amused smile as Lyney's perfectly orchestrated acts crumbled, one trick at a time.

One day, as Lyney once again fumbled with his magic, he turned to his sister, frustration clear in his voice. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Lynette! I keep messing up the tricks, but when I do it alone everything goes perfect, the way it’s supposed to be! Something is wrong with my magic.”

With a sly grin, you approached the clearly frustrated magician, your eyes sparkling with a mischievous glint. “I think your magic is working just fine, but I enjoy the added entertainment,” you teased, your tone playful yet filled with a hint of genuine warmth.

Lyney, caught off guard by the candid comment, felt a blush creeping up his cheeks.

Lynette, standing nearby, couldn't help but giggle at the exchange between her brother and the mysterious onlooker. She watched as Lyney attempted to regain his composure, his charming grin returning to his face.

“You've been enjoying the show, huh?” Lyney retorted with a playful wink. “Well, I suppose a magician's life can get a bit dull without a few surprises now and then.”

You chuckled, and this time, you spoke more sincerely. “Your tricks are amazing, Lyney. But it's not just about the magic; it's about the unexpected moments, the little imperfections that make it all the more charming.”

As the banter continued, Lynette couldn't help but notice the change in her brother's demeanor. Normally the master of illusion and charming repartee, Lyney seemed genuinely intrigued and a bit flustered by your presence. It was a delightful twist to the usual routine.

With the conversation flowing effortlessly, Lynette decided to play along. “You know,” she chimed in, “if you're enjoying the show so much, maybe you should join us for a cup of tea after the performance.”

The invitation hung in the air, and for a moment, time seemed to stop. Lyney, with a mix of curiosity and excitement, agreed to the suggestion. The children, having thoroughly enjoyed the unplanned entertainment, cheered as you made your way to a nearby café.

As you sat together, sipping tea and exchanging stories, the atmosphere was filled with laughter. Lyney found himself genuinely enjoying the company of his mysterious spectator, realizing that maybe, just maybe, the unexpected twists in life could lead to the most enchanting outcomes.

Days turned into weeks, and the friendship between Lyney, Lynette, Freminet, and yourself continued to blossom. All four of you hanging around together became a familiar sight in Fontaine, with Lyney performing tricks, Lynette observing with a watchful eye, Freminet occasionally chiming in with his innocent musings, and you, the silent observer who had become an integral part of their little circle.

One sunny afternoon, as Lyney strolled through the bustling streets with his siblings, he noticed you engaged in a lively conversation with a passerby. There was laughter, a genuine exchange of smiles, and something in Lyney's chest tightened. He couldn't quite comprehend the strange emotions bubbling within him, but the sight of you sharing laughter with someone else stirred an unfamiliar feeling. Lyney frowned, clenching his fist. Lynette and Freminet exchanged a glance, both perceptive to the shift in their brother's mood.  

The trio decided to leave the area, but Lyney couldn't shake the lingering sensation of jealousy. It puzzled him, and he found himself contemplating the inexplicable emotions that had surfaced.

In the following days, whenever he spotted you, Lyney made a conscious effort to be more engaging and entertaining. He told jokes, performed tricks with extra flair, and made sure to elicit laughter from you. The motivation behind his actions was unclear even to him—actually, why was he even jealous to begin with?  

One evening, as Lyney conjured a bouquet of flowers out of thin air, he caught your eye and delivered a charming wink. The act succeeded in making you laugh, but the underlying tension remained in Lyney's mind.

Each time he made you laugh, Lyney felt a fleeting sense of satisfaction, but it was always overshadowed by the persistent nagging of his own insecurities. Why did he feel this way? What was it about seeing you with someone else that stirred such strong emotions within him?

As Lyney continued to grapple with his conflicting emotions, Lynette and Freminet couldn't help but notice their brother's inner turmoil. They had seen this pattern before—the subtle signs of jealousy, the desperate need for validation—and they knew it was time to address it.

That evening, as they sat together in their cozy home, Lynette and Freminet gently broached the subject with Lyney. “Lyney,” Lynette began, her voice soft but firm, “you’ve been acting differently lately.”

Freminet nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it's like something’s bothering you,” he added, his brow furrowed in concern.

Lyney shifted uncomfortably, his gaze flickering between his siblings. “I don't know what you're talking about,” he said, attempting to deflect their observations.

But Lynette wouldn't be deterred. “Lyney, we're your siblings. We know you better than anyone else,” she said gently. “And it doesn’t take a lot to notice that something’s wrong.”

Lyney sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I don't understand it myself,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “Why am I so bothered by seeing them with someone else? It's not like we're... anything.”

Lynette placed a comforting hand on her brother's shoulder. “Maybe it's because you care about them more than you realize,” she suggested gently. “Maybe you’re scared of losing them.”

Freminet nodded in agreement. “Yeah, and maybe you're trying so hard to make them laugh because you want to show them that you're just as fun and interesting as that other guy we saw.”

Lyney sat in silence for a moment, processing his siblings' words. Their insight cut through his confusion like a ray of light, illuminating the depths of his feelings in a way he hadn't considered before.

“I guess you’re right,” Lyney admitted quietly, his voice tinged with vulnerability. Freminet smiled, “Just be honest, Lyney. Let them know what you've been feeling.”

“Worst they can do is say no.”

“Lynette!”

As Lyney pondered his siblings' words, he realized that they were right. He couldn't continue to let his feelings remain bottled up inside him. It was time to take action, to finally express what he had been feeling all along.

With newfound determination, Lyney set out to find you, his heart racing with anticipation. He had rehearsed countless scenarios in his mind, each one more elaborate than the last, but now, faced with the reality of the moment, his confidence wavered.

Lynette and Freminet watched from a distance, their hearts filled with a mix of amusement and exasperation. They had seen Lyney struggle with his feelings for far too long, and it was time to put an end to it once and for all.

As Lyney approached you, his words caught in his throat, he couldn't help but stumble over his own thoughts. Just as he was about to speak, a gust of wind blew through, scattering his carefully prepared confession into the air.

Lyney's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he scrambled to collect his thoughts, but before he could utter a single word, a stray cat darted across his path, causing him to lose his balance and stumble forward.

You reached out to steady him, a concerned expression on your face. "Are you okay, Lyney?"

Lyney nodded, his heart pounding in his chest. This was it, his moment to finally confess his feelings. But before he could speak, the sound of a distant siren filled the air, drowning out his words.

Lynette and Freminet exchanged a knowing glance, realizing that their brother needed a little extra help. With a mischievous twinkle in their eyes, they sprang into action, orchestrating a series of events that would finally bring Lyney and you together.

As Lyney struggled to find the right words, his siblings discreetly arranged for a spontaneous fireworks display to light up the night sky. The dazzling colors reflected in your eyes as you turned to Lyney, a smile playing on your lips.

"Wow, this is amazing!" you exclaimed, your gaze meeting Lyney's. "Thank you for showing me this."

Lyney's heart swelled with emotion as he gazed into your eyes, the fireworks illuminating the depth of his feelings. "There's something I need to tell you," he began, his voice trembling with emotion.

But before he could continue, Lynette and Freminet emerged from the crowd, each wearing identical expressions on their faces. "Lyney, we couldn't help but notice that you've been trying to say something all night," Lynette said with a grin. "So we thought we'd lend a hand."

Freminet nodded eagerly, a bouquet of rainbow roses in his hand.

Lyney couldn't help but laugh at their antics, their support giving him the courage he needed to finally speak his truth. With a deep breath, he turned to you, his heart overflowing with love.

"I know this might seem sudden, but I realized that I can't keep these feelings hidden any longer," Lyney confessed, his voice filled with sincerity. "I care about you more than words can say, and I want to be with you, if you'll have me."

You gazed at Lyney, your heart soaring at his heartfelt confession. "Lyney, I..." you began, but before you could finish, a burst of fireworks lit up the sky, showering the scene in a cascade of colors.

Lyney took your hand in his, his eyes shining with love. "I don't need fireworks to tell me how I feel," he said softly. "But they do make for a pretty spectacular backdrop."

With laughter and tears of joy, you and Lyney embraced, knowing that this was just the beginning of a beautiful journey together. And as the fireworks continued to light up the night sky, Lynette and Freminet shared a satisfied smile, knowing that their matchmaking efforts had finally paid off.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

@amalythea 2024. | do not re-upload, copy, translate, etc. my works on any form of media.

[bxttxrflybxddie]

omgggg hcs for himbo malewife brett!!! (would be be a house husband??) 🥺🥺

|Brett Hand as a House Husband|

a/n: BRETT!! ugh i love him sm and ty for requesting! also sorry that this took WAY too long, i havent rewatched inside job since like december 😭 ty for reading!

pairing: househusband! malewife! brett hand x pregnant! afab! reader

post type: headcanons + some drabble

requested: yes!

word count: 1.2k

warnings: afab reader but gender neutral, pre-established relationship, pre-established marriage, mentions of pregnancy and BIRTH, slight angst! (brett's familial trauma mention), FLUFF, fambly, use of mommy when describing reader but like not seriously yfm

ever since his family left him, something he's desperately wanted was to bring some good into the world and prove to himself that he would never be like — be better than them

because a negative and a positive are better than nothing

so, when the day came when you both found out you were pregnant, he was ECSTATIC

if you work at Cognito Inc, he'll break the news to everyone before you even have the chance 😭

you take one (1) day off because you're not feeling well and your phone buzzes every minute w a new text from your coworkers

pleaseee don't be mad he's just very excited !!

if you don't work with everyone, he's still gonna gush about it to The Gang™️

"and this is a photo of (name) and i right after we found out!!"

"brett this is the 16th time today you've showed me that picture"

no matter what he's gonna beg you to take maternity leave as soon as possible

then he can finally spoil you !!! please dear reader let him take care of you while you're pregnant 🥲 it's his love language

as much as he wants to be a good father, he knows that he doesn't know what to do when it comes to 'Good Father Experiences'

^ he DEFINITELY tells his therapist about the pregnancy! they know about his trauma and parental fears, they're so proud of him!

it's one thing to want something and it's something completely different to take the leap!!

brett starts working (even more) overtime in preparation for the little baby

he tries to balance the world on his shoulders; you're giving him a BLOODLINE, you're not allowed to lift a finger!!

after a serious talk about how this makes you feel, he'll back off and take tiny, short break

towards the end of your pregnancy, when the baby's arrival is right around the corner, something in brett switches

his domestic dreams and desires to be seen as useful combine into a very plausible reality of staying at home and taking care of the family

taking care of your family

of course he still has his job, but he doesn't really need it; he's saved a lot of money throughout the years!

he can be a good house husband for you !! cook and clean for you while you work hard at your job !!

a part of brett wants to give the little cutie everything he didn't get as a child; an unconditional amount of love and an unfaltering support system

mr. hand will not so subtly drop hints about his wants for the future

it's early morning; approximately 5 am. the deep purple of the sky seeps its way into your shared room. the crib standing out as the new addition.

your ginger husband holds you. his warm and built chest against your back as you lay on his left arm. his right hand running it's thumb over your grown belly. the three of you awake (the little one making sure of that) but not up, admiring the peace before the day begins.

"i'm so lucky." he whispers; you can hear his golden smile in the way he talks. "i can't wait to be a good father."

"really?" you ask. sarcasm is heavy with your tone; but there isn't any menace behind it. you already know he's going to be amazing.

"mhmm." his hand cups ever-so-slightly. he does this when he talks to the baby. "i'll cook you yummy dinners, help with homework, go to your games- or recitals- or concerts!, help pick up your toys, play catch, everything. and anything."

he hums adoringly and holds you closer. it's in that moment you just know.

he's panicky when it's go time. he has the brown, paper sack for breathing, and the bags filled of everything (the internet said you needed) for the hospital.

the delivery was LONG but the baby arrived all safe and sound!

you and brett shed quite a few tears upon seeing the entirely new person the both of you created

he was SOBBING

the first couple of nights were really rough; especially when it came to adapting to the new sleeping schedule (or lack of)

but as time went on, the two of you learned!! and the experience became easier

the baby likes to eat!! a lot!!!

brett takes the night shift when it comes to feedings and changings, he insists!

when the baby just wants to cuddle at 2am, you can hear brett humming while rocking them

"you'll never know, dear, how much i love you."

you flutter open your eyes to see the golden light of the lamp illuminate your husband. his attention completely on your comforted baby in his arms. a soft smile found it's way onto your unenergized face.

"please don't take my sunshine away."

once it's been a few months, brett has to make the decision on wether or not to go through with completely quitting his job and taking care of your little family

he wants to. every cell in his body is screaming at him to take the plunge and never look back!!

but he works for the government in all it's evil glory, would they even allow him to quit?

he calls reagan and asks for advice. she's his bestie and would definitely at least give good advice.

unfortunately this is where he finds out that only way to leave his job is to get fired 😭 just because of how much of a huge secret it is

he quickly thinks of ways to make that happen before deciding otherwise

but !! she tells him that since he's pretty enough, he could convince JR to let him work from home. most of his job is inspiring his co-workers and he doesn't always need to be in person to do that

after begging on his knees, sobbing having a serious discussion about the future, brett's able to work from home!!

there is one condition; the children and the workplace must stay SEPARATED

cognito inc. can't afford another mr. ridley situation

brett and jr shake on it

he won't lie he doesn't like not being able to have 100% free time with the family :( but 2 incomes are better than 1 in the long run

speaking of the workplace The Gang™️ LOVES hearing stories about your baby

especially Gigi!! i personally hc she has some experience with kiddos herself so she loves to listen and give advice!!

glenn also gives advice but.....brett don't take it pls

myc reads brett's mind sometimes to see if he thinks abt you and the baby as much as he talks about you two and the answers YES

andre makes sex jokes abt you and brett CONSTANTLY

"ehehehehe. you've seen their mommy milkers."

"don't say that, a-dog :( what the heck, man."

aunt reagan comes over and babysits frequently!! she also spoils your kiddo(s) often lol if they pick up a passion for machinery she is by their side in a heartbeat!

brett is an amazing father overall as he promised!! from the newborn stage he's been listening, learning, and always tries to improve himself and his fatherly skills

he bandages any boo-boos

reads them to sleep before tucking them in

helping them do their hair in the morning before preschool

he already wants more children 😭 calm down sir

walking through your front door after work to be welcomed by hugs and giggles is a dream

and for brett, a dream come true

especially when he gets to hear you say the most cliché, magical words he's always wanted to hear

"honey! i'm home!"

© BXTTXRFLYBXDDIE

[heartkyeom]

now or never pt. 5 (finale)

xu minghao x fem!reader

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 (finale)

word count: 12.3k

synopsis: when you make a chance encounter with your ex, you end up saying that you're engaged to your estranged neighbor xu minghao. when you find out your ex is coming to your friend's wedding, you've only got a month to become a convincing couple.

warnings: cursing, oral sex, slight dumbification, alcohol, asshole ex!joshua, fighting, mostly domestic shit idk lmao

notes: after 5 months of restarting and almost giving up on this chapter entirely, the now or never series is complete. thank you all for loving this story so much, now or never is unlike anything I've ever written and I am so happy that it's finally done. I was scared that making the story so simple would turn people away, but I am grateful for all the support! shoutout to @maijunejuly + @flowerwonu for supporting this story so much <3 and thank you all for loving these two and watching them fall in love! I hope this is a satisfying ending, longtime readers I'm giving you a big smooch on the cheek

taglist: @kwonranghae @butterfliesinthenightsky @sugarrimajins @cosmicwintr @lztespring @justasoftstan @lilactangerine @jeongiegram @hoohoohope @trashygigi @itzelise06 @bonsaijoons @playboygeniusphilanthropist @thedeeppoet @mo-onlar @kyoko-22 @thesunsfullmoon @jungish @twancingyunhao @knucklesdeepmingi @crystal-phoenix-and-silver-fox @jaehyunfilms @awyunh @fiantomartell @milk-leaves @junoluvr @rhia-clyde

The morning of the wedding is particularly quiet in your shared hotel room. Since the wedding didn’t start until later that afternoon, it gave both of you an opportunity to settle into the day.

Thus, you’re not rushing out of bed, you’re interested in watching the sunlight filter through the curtains instead, insisting on letting yourself wake up slowly. You eventually turn your attention to your lover who is still sleeping peacefully beside you. You decide to stir up some movement with slow touches to his hair, trying not to move too harshly against his skin. 

He replies with a soft hum, idly turning his head towards you. His eyes are still closed though, it seems like a silent invitation for you to keep going. 

You decide to kick it up a notch with a few kisses along the side of his face, you feel his cheeks pull into a smile from the contact and you launch into giggles, resting your head on his neck.

“Well, good morning,” His voice is raspy in the way you love it, right on the edge of sleep. 

“Good morning,” You reply, you can’t help but kiss his neck and he lets out a gentle sigh.

“Big day, huh?” He asks softly. The anticipation stirs in your chest, but truthfully a medley of emotions seems to swarm there. 

You hum in confirmation, but it wasn’t your big day, not by any stretch of the imagination. Yet, your mind tries to play out all possible outcomes to the evening’s events due to your anxiety.

First, you could confront Joshua, verbally or physically, but likely the former since you don’t want to be kicked out of the wedding over him. You could approach him or he could come to you, it’s a matter of how the events unfold. 

Second, he could try to initiate confrontation, but you could refuse to engage. You could argue it’s not the time or place to hash out personal drama, especially not at a friend’s wedding, which would be correct. Sure, there would be about 100 other guests there and the booming music could cover up the conflict so seamlessly that no one is made aware of the situation, but you fear that it’s not worth the risk.

Third, you could end up avoiding each other altogether. Again, there were enough people attending that you could somehow not cross paths the entire night. This was the most likely option, as you probably wouldn’t muster up the courage to do anything. The tension would remain unaddressed and you’d likely still have a good night watching your friend get married, bolstered by free alcohol and Minghao’s companionship.

Fourth, the entirely fantastical option, Minghao would confront Joshua himself.

The odds are quite slim, but Minghao might not have the patience to engage in Joshua’s fake niceties. You don’t think it would turn physical, but Joshua would likely leave with his feelings hurt. Although you’ve never been caught in the crossfire of Minghao’s anger, it was best to avoid this option if at all possible. 

He adjusts himself so that he’s partially sitting up against the headboard of the bed, his eyes meeting yours. “Are you feeling okay about everything?” He inquires with a slight raise of his eyebrows.

“I am. Are you?”

“Yeah. Whatever you want to do, I’m fine with that,” He offers. Minghao had been quite compliant with your feelings about the situation in the past month, enough that it wasn’t surprising that he’d go full throttle on Joshua if needed. 

“So if I ask you to beat him up, you’ll do it?”

“Not sure about that,” he scoffs, “but if you want to escalate things, I’m fully supportive.” 

You nod to yourself in satisfaction, it was enough to push the fears to the back of your mind temporarily.

He ended up getting out of bed before you, of course, but you’re up soon enough, the both of you naturally weaving between each other to get ready for the morning. Before going to bed last night, you both agreed to ditch the hotel breakfast in favor of exploring the local restaurants in order to maximize your vacation time. 

You both settle on a seaside cafe with sweeping windows that overlook the coveted ocean, the main attraction of the small town. It’s not as busy as you expected, but there’s still lots of movement once you arrive. The combination of patrons talking over pastries with hot drinks, baristas manning the noisy coffee machines, and the indie pop music in the background are all just tolerable enough to make the venture outside of the hotel worth it.

You decide to indulge in chocolate chip pancakes while he opts for oatmeal with assorted berries on top. While eating across from him, it occurs to you that being out with Minghao in public is still such a foreign sensation.

The past month of getting to know him had been so insular, so concentrated on the apartment complex that you were almost enveloped in the relationship completely, it almost felt suspicious for it to exist in the real world.

Sure, you’ve been out in public together numerous times.

Yet, there’s a way his eyes fixed on yours, the way he dissolved into giggles just from looking at you. When you ask him what’s wrong, he just shakes his head and looks down at his plate again, but you’re sure it’s love.

His hands aren’t hesitant when they grab yours out of habit, forcing you to place down your fork.

He plants kisses on the back of your hands, insisting that he had to do it right that second. Yet, he concedes by feeding you a few bites of your pancakes.

You’re sure it’s love by the way you move his hair out of his eyes, you call him handsome when he least expects it just to see the blush creep onto his cheeks.

It was a quiet yet showy affection all at the same time. There was a silent sense that you were both waiting to change the trajectory of your relationship, but you decided it can’t happen in the café.

As you finish the meal and the check is handled, it’s back to holding hands with a tight grip, barely restraining your romantic thoughts through such a simple gesture.

The walk back to the hotel is once again quite short, but any moment spent with Minghao felt worthy of experiencing.

—

“Can you zip me up?” 

“Of course,” Minghao is behind your back before you can get the question out, hands gently tugging up the black zipper. The late morning had slowly spun into the afternoon and he decided it would be best to start getting ready earlier rather than later.

You aren’t in a position to argue, seeing as your routines took a considerable amount of time no matter how formal or casual an event was. You figure it’s just him accounting for the inevitable second-guessing about accessories or the possible existential dread about attending the wedding altogether. 

Your dress is still incredibly bold, you think to yourself as you study your figure in the mirror. Minghao decided to make you a matching pair of gloves that only emphasized the beauty of the look.

“You look so beautiful,” He emphasizes it with a gentle kiss on the lips, craning his neck slightly to meet your face.

“Thank you,” You reach up to cradle his head and turn him toward the mirror. “You don’t look too bad yourself,” You tease, but it was a complete understatement. He was nearly done getting ready by the time he walked over to see you, but his black suit made him look even more handsome than you expected. 

He opted for his regular middle part, letting his shaggy black hair hang in front of his eyes. You asked him a few days ago if he wanted to get it cut for the wedding, but he knew you liked it too much to do anything. 

“Let me see your piercings,” You touched his ear and he moved to reveal the few pieces of silver jewelry that led down the shell of his ear. His piercings are something you always forget are there until he tucks a piece of hair behind his ear, but he lets you pick out the set he would wear today.  

“Gorgeous,” you affirm with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Do you have everything in your bag?” He gestures toward the desk, it currently has too many things strewn across it in your efforts to get ready.

“Shit,” You rush over to fill your clutch with the essentials you needed for the night and he laughs at your frantic energy.

“Relax, baby, we won’t be late,” He reassures you with a quiet voice. You notice that you’re clutching the lip gloss in your hand a bit too tight and relax your grip, dropping the item into your purse before zipping it up.

“Right,” you shut your eyes for a moment.

“We’ll be fine,” You feel his hands snake around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest. He could sense the tension in your muscles, he steadies your breathing with his own deep breaths, and you naturally follow his pattern.

“Thank you,” Your voice is barely above a whisper, you take another moment before turning around in his arms. 

“I just have to tell you again how sexy you look right now,” He admits with a sly grin. It makes you laugh with your whole body, nearly falling out of his arms from the combination of embarrassment and joy. 

You cock your eyebrow at him. “Don’t praise me too much or else we’re not making it out of here at all,” He lets out a short laugh. 

“I have no problem with that,” He grabs your face and peppers kisses all over your cheeks, despite your immediate protests.  

It helps you remember that no matter what happens at the wedding, this is what’s waiting for you afterward.

—

The venue is only a few minutes away from the hotel, so the drive is much shorter than you wanted it to be. You tried to wrench away the last of your nerves as you stared at the entrance of the country club, you noticed the other well-dressed guests and their occasional stares at you, your chest, and your hips.

He catches on and squeezes your hand. “Come on, we don’t wanna be late,” He pulls you gently into motion, and you instinctively wrap your arm around his. 

The venue is stunning, if not expensive, it definitely costs an arm and a leg to get married near the beach during peak wedding season. The wedding ceremony is outside, and the heat hits you the moment you make it through the back exit with Minghao. The late afternoon sun bore itself down on the guests, but you couldn’t exactly be upset when the atmosphere was so beautiful.

The space was a converted lawn that overlooked the nearby beach, the venue’s most anticipated view, and now prime wedding location. 

The arch, aisle, and individual seats were ivory-colored, each adorned with white floral arrangements. Most of the guests had filed in by the time you made it to your seats, but Minghao led you both to seats right near the aisle toward the back of the seating arrangements. 

There were a few things to keep your interest within the scenery itself, but Minghao mostly stayed quiet. Besides checking in once to see how you were feeling before the ceremony, he mostly observed the people around him. 

Namely, a baby that was in the row ahead of you. The infant was slightly fussy, understandably with the heat and noise from the live orchestra. The mother seemed slightly flustered trying to keep the baby under control, but Minghao’s interest seemed to catch the baby’s focus once he made himself known.

He babbled and made funny faces that made the baby stop crying, their watery eyes watching him in surprise. The cries soon turned to laughs as he gently pinched the baby’s cheek with his fingers, his cooing soothed their nerves almost instantly. There was something that stirred in your chest at the sight of him, your “not really fake” boyfriend being so gentle with the baby and the sight of his engagement ring could’ve made you cry on the spot.

It was almost like a glimpse into the future, a memory that you captured in your heart instantly. You hadn’t discussed anything past marriage yet, but this made you want to have the conversation soon.

Not that anything could happen in the immediate future, but something in you wondered if he would want to start a family with you someday. You’re snapped out of the daydream when you hear the mother thank him and he turns his attention toward you.

“What’s wrong?”

You shake your head. “Nothing,” You choose not to elaborate, to keep the feeling sacred in your chest. 

He notices how high your cheeks are from smiling and clutches your hand tighter than before.

A few minutes pass before the procession officially begins, the guests all rise from their seats and watch as the bridesmaids, groomsmen, the ring bearer, and the flower girl each have their moment walking down the aisle.

Mingyu is then escorted down the aisle with his mother, and you realize this is the first time you’ve seen him in so long.. He settles at the altar and anxiously waits for his bride to join him, the entire crowd also holds an air of anticipation.

Once she steps into view, Mingyu looks absolutely enamored with the bride, he can’t stop beaming while watching her. You even see a few tears fall from his cheeks and it makes the moment even more precious.

You wonder how that feeling would settle into your bones, knowing that you’ve built such a strong bond with someone that there’s no other option than to marry them. 

Despite your initially rash decision, the longer you were living with the concept of getting married, the more it started to scare you.

Sure, you liked the idea of wedding planning, picking out a dress, and all the other decisions that were meant to be a dream come true, but being at a wedding was completely different. It was a visualization of months of effort to bring so many different elements together that you feel almost intimidated by it.

Yet, there’s no reason for you to even have cold feet, you two aren’t even formally in a relationship! You have all the time in the world to let the relationship bloom completely, you know he wouldn’t jump into anything too quickly.

You sit with all these feelings as the ceremony goes on, their vows to each other are filled to the brim with adoration and care for one another. 

This was a result of years invested into a relationship, but how could you feel nearly the same way, truly feel the descriptions of being cared for and protected beyond measure, after a few weeks? 

You tear up at how they speak so highly of each other because you love Minghao in this way, you love this person who has enriched your life so deeply that you can’t even recognize yourself from a few weeks ago.

As soon as they’re pronounced husband and wife, you watch them exchange that first kiss as if their bodies couldn’t bear to be apart for another second. You cry silently as you watch them through slightly blurry eyes, the realization is all a bit too much to bear at the moment. 

You force yourself to keep sniffling occasionally until the ceremony is over, but the moment Minghao holds your hand as the rest of the crowd disperses, you lose the rest of your composure. 

Minghao glances over at you in slight shock. 

“Darling, what’s wrong?” His tone is especially warm tonight, and you know you can’t wait any longer to tell him.

“I love you,” You face him and cup his face in your hands. “I love everything about you and I mean that,” Your voice is choked by sobs, but you manage to get it all out.

You wanted this moment to be more private, but when you see the relief hit his face, the tension melts from his shoulders and he smiles so wide that you know he’s only focused on you.

“I love you too,” He can’t stop grinning, he’s on the brink of tears when you observe his eyes and you pull him into your arms immediately.

You stay there for a little while, just silently rocking each other in a tight hug. 

He finally whispers in your ear. “I think we’re missing the party,” He looks back at the brightly lit venue before facing you again. You finally hear the music thumping and come to your senses.

“Yeah, I think so. We don’t want to miss the speeches, right?” You ask with a tilt of your head, a hint of a smile playing on your lips. 

—

The inside of the venue feels especially cozy now that the ceremony is over, the room is dimly lit and almost lulls you into a false sense of security. 

You’re acutely aware of Minghao’s hand around your waist, his fingers are idly running across the fabric of your dress and it eases your nerves once again. The room is lively, music and conversation fill the space to a decently loud volume that you still have to adjust to. You don’t spot Mingyu or the bride, but you’re sure they’re mingling happily amongst their guests. 

Your eyes scan across the room to find your table, but you turn to face Minghao in confusion. “Do you remember our table number?”

“It was 13,” He speaks over the music and turns to look for the table in question, letting out a quiet hum when he spots it. He points to the table and you both head over, not seeing the other guests in view quite yet. You can tell it’s fairly full, and you decide that you weren’t against getting to know new people. 

That’s what you tell yourself until he’s the first person you spot at your table. 

Fucking hell. 

Of course, he’s at your table, looking at you expectantly. You can almost see a glint of regret in his eyes when you adjust your posture, but you look at her before you can fixate on his expression for too long. 

She’s glowing in that expectant mother kind of way, you almost feel uneasy when she offers you a smile. You’re certain that your thoughts are pulling you too far back into your brain when Seokmin makes himself known.

“Look at you two, it’s been a while,” He chats excitedly, eyes disappearing with that brilliant smile of his. He directs his attention at you first.

“You look absolutely stunning!” He opens his arms for a hug and you happily oblige, placing your arms on his back in a tight embrace. “Thank you,” You’re nearly breathless by the time he pulls away, but still happy nonetheless. 

“I need to know where you got this dress, I can’t get over it,” Seokmin gushes, he gives you a once over before smiling up at you again. 

“Oh, he made it for me,” You respond easily, you’re determined not to shy away from the compliment. You look at Minghao briefly and he returns a smirk, but it’s affirming, you’re grateful that your confidence has yet to waver.

“I’m not shocked at all,” He pulls Minghao into a hug and pats him on the back, “he’s always had a good eye.” Minghao laughs and pulls himself into conversation with the journalist easily. You realize that it’s rude to not at least acknowledge the other people at the table, but you’re pleasantly surprised by the sight of Soonyoung and Chan, who are both equally excited to see you.

The table arrangement is overwhelmingly positive besides the obvious, but it was likely out of convenience that Mingyu’s college friends were all arranged together at one table. 

Soonyoung and Chan sweep you away from the table in a hurry, giving you no room to look at Joshua for even a second longer. “I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve seen you,” Chan is beaming when he pulls you into a tight hug. Weeks felt like months now that you were out of the hypothetical bubble, but you start to feel guilt in the pit of your stomach. 

“Yeah, your man really pulled you away from your friends,” Soonyoung jokes as you embrace him toward your chest. You laugh into his suit jacket, but the fact still remains. You hadn’t updated them nearly enough on the situation recently, especially not about your revelation toward Minghao. 

You didn’t want to become that person who neglected their friends once you got into a relationship, you didn’t want to be consumed by him that you forget to live outside of him. You pull away from the hug and look at both of them with wistful eyes. You don’t have any excuses, to be honest. 

“Sorry that I’ve been hiding, it wasn’t intentional,” You shake your head pathetically, shifting your eyes down to your feet before looking up at them again.

“It’s not okay, we’ve been starving for details,” Chan replied with a cheeky grin. “But we’re happy you’re okay,” Soonyoung interjects. 

“You two look like you’re in love,” Soonyoung leads the two of you further away from the table to make sure Minghao is completely out of earshot. 

“Wait, are you in love with him?” Soonyoung clutches your arm and you see that Chan is anxiously awaiting the answer too. 

You chuckle lightly and lower your voice. “I confessed to him earlier,” you whisper. The men both gasp in excitement, giving you proud smiles that invite you in so easily. 

“I knew it,” Chan pats Soonyoung’s shoulder as a sly smile plays on his lips. 

“We both did,” Soonyoung puts a hand on your shoulder, “there was no way you were getting out of this without catching feelings.” You start to blush and look for a way out, taking a glance around the room.

You want to focus on other guests, what they’re wearing, the gossip that’s on their lips, but you can only look for him. He’s not too far, of course, but your heart can’t slow until you see him. 

You lock eyes with him and his face noticeably softens. You watch his smile spread to his cheeks before turning away. “Let’s get drinks before the speeches start,” You nod in the guys’ direction and they approve the decision immediately.

You settle on a vodka soda from the bar and lazily nurse your first drink in your hand, occasionally taking a sip while talking to Soonyoung and Chan.

It was ultimately a good idea to drink now, you thought it best to have your senses slightly blurred when facing the elephant in the room. 

You needed just a bit of liquid courage, not too much to make it through whatever the night had yet to present. Once all three of you had mingled to your heart’s content, you made your way back to the table with a newfound confidence. 

As you took a seat next to Minghao, his hand found your thigh instantly. 

He leans in to whisper against your ear. “Enjoying yourself?” 

You feel yourself blush. “Yeah, just needed a little pick me up,” You reciprocate the action and he runs his hand along your leg in affirmation.

“Good,” He pulls away with a nod. It’s a bit cheeky, but you wouldn’t fold for him like this, not yet at least.

“More importantly, how are you holding up?” You place your chin in the palm of your hand, gazing at him softly. The upbeat music and distant conversations from other tables make you feel a bit fuzzier while making eye contact with him.

“I’m good, Seokmin kept me pretty occupied thankfully,” He sucks his teeth and lets out a sigh. You nod in a silent understanding, you wish you had the ability to diffuse tension like he could. 

“Hopefully it’s smooth sailing,” You reassure him with a gentle smile, one that he accepts with a small grin. You say it in an effort to soothe the hint of doubt in your own mind, but you were getting ahead of yourself. 

There weren’t any problems yet, so why create them out of thin air? 

You only had to idle for a few more minutes before the speeches got into full swing. The maid of honor and best man both had emotionally touching speeches that kept everyone’s spirits high. It was emotional for both the bride and groom, who you noticed wiping stray tears on occasion while listening to their loved ones. It was clear that they were surrounded by a supportive circle who were excited to send them off on their new journey as newlyweds. 

The real trouble was dinner.

You learned that Mingyu loved cooking, so the spread for the meal was quite thorough enough to suit a variety of dietary restrictions and tastes. Once each of you had gone up to get food, and in your case extra alcohol, you could no longer delay the inevitable.

The tension was unbearably thick.

The sound of utensils scraping against plates and the occasional clink of glassware were the only noises that filled the silence amongst the table. 

As much as your second and third drinks were continuing to soothe your nerves, the presence of alcohol could only do so much. Each person at the table had varying levels of familiarity with the situation at hand, but it wasn’t their place to instigate anything, so the silence endured.

“How was your trip up here, Y/N?” Joshua asked suddenly.

“It was fine, we drove up,” You held your composure at the question, making eye contact with him briefly before looking down at your plate to take another bite of your food.

“Nice, so you got to prepare how you were going to lie to everyone, right?”

“What?” You look up at him with a deadpan expression. You notice Minghao shifting in his seat  next to you. He seriously wasn’t trying to do this over dinner, right?

“You know what I’m talking about, Y/N, don’t play dumb,” He scoffed at you. You glance at Seokmin, who is clearly confused at his apparent line of questioning. Soonyoung and Chan both seemed to catch on immediately.

“No, Joshua. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Enlighten me,” You smile at the end of your response. You lean back in your chair and tilt your head slightly.

If he wanted to embarrass you, he was going to have to work for it.  

“When did you get engaged, Y/N?”

“Joshua, what the hell are you doing?” His girlfriend interjected.

“No, it’s okay,” You reassure her with a nod but she still looks concerned on your behalf. “It was 2 months ago. He set up a picnic for us like our first date, it was lovely.”

“When are you getting married?”

The detail you discussed with Minghao during the road trip immediately came to mind. “This time next year, so sometime during the summer, we’re still early in the planning phase. Anything else?”

“You didn’t even have your ring on when I met him with you,” Joshua stutters through his words.

“I knew I had a long day of work ahead of me without much sleep the night before so I naturally forgot. Minghao told you that I forgot it. You knew I had terrible sleep issues while we were together, or did you conveniently forget that so it could fit your narrative about me?” You tilt your head slightly, the answer comes together almost too easily.

That response earned a light chuckle from Minghao, and everyone else at the table knew they were in for a show.

“Your relationship is fake, no matter how much you delude yourself or him. I honestly can’t believe you got him to do this in the first place,” Joshua sets his jaw in frustration. You adjust your posture once more so you can properly read Joshua to filth. It was fun being a bit underhanded with Joshua, but now he was getting unnecessary.

“First of all, you don’t speak for him or me. The fact that you have nothing better to do than to interrogate me about my relationship is a sign that you can’t bear to think of me being happy without you,” Your tone remains firm as you let out your innermost thoughts.

“I’m clearly in love with him and that bothers the shit out of you because you’re miserable as fuck. The fact that you’re an emotionally stunted dickhead is not my problem. You should be worrying about becoming a father and minding your business, but here you are making a fool out of yourself,” Joshua seems to shrink slightly behind your words, but you don’t lose your momentum.

“I don’t know what your goal was in trying to humiliate me in front of my friends and my fiancé, but you’re a fucking loser and I suggest you spend some time getting your head out of your ass. Fuck you.”

You take a sharp exhale. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom,” You don’t hesitate to stand up and make a beeline away from the table.

You don’t stop walking through the seemingly endless halls until you’re in the comfort of the bathroom, clutching the edge of the sink and letting out a shaky breath.

You did it.

You let him have it in front of Minghao, his girlfriend, and your friends.

It felt good as hell. 

It was long overdue, but the feeling of freedom in your skin felt too good to ignore. 

You take a moment to assess if there was any damage to your makeup. Thankfully, nothing looked out of place once you spent a few moments admiring your features. 

It felt like your mind was finally catching up to your body now that you were alone.

First, you said that you were in love with Minghao and you truly meant it. Defending him was so natural to you that it felt like you’d done it for ages.

Second, Joshua knew the original setup was fake. It didn’t really matter now that you had actively gaslit him into oblivion, but you had clearly made up for a less than stellar performance when you first introduced Joshua to Minghao. 

Lastly, you still had to go back out there. Sure, you were tipsy, but you still had to perform for a bit longer. It weighed on you the longer you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You brought yourself back to reality with a shake of your head, you turn to open the door and are shocked to see Minghao’s face.

“Hao,” You breathe out. 

“I wanted to come check on you. You really went off back there,” He gave you a kind smile and a pat on the shoulder.

“I did. It felt good,” You let out a chuckle.

“Are you anxious? Do you wanna go back to the hotel?” His comforting tone makes you smile, but shockingly, you don't feel completely overwhelmed by your surroundings. 

“I’m fine, babe,” You lower your head slightly at the questions. Most times, you think you would’ve preferred going home after being so confrontational, but you wanted to have fun. You didn’t want to hide anymore.

He pulls you into a hug and mumbles into your ear. “I’m proud of you,” His words melt into you so easily, it makes you feel at ease. You spend a few more moments with your head against his shoulder, savoring the silence away from the commotion of the wedding party. It didn’t matter what anyone thought about the two of you, you were determined to enjoy yourself. 

You lift your head up and find his hand to intertwine with your own. He gives you a reassuring look before you make your way back through the corridors into the main ballroom. The party is far more lively than when you first left a few minutes ago, the DJ is playing some party song that was popular when you were younger.

The dance floor is noticeably fuller as well, the atmosphere makes you grateful that you decided to stick around for the rest of the reception. You briefly tried to look for the other guys, but Soonyoung was the only one that made himself known to you once you reentered the ballroom.

“There you are!” He exclaimed in relief at the sight of you. He was yelling above the music to catch your attention, even when both you and Minghao eventually got closer to him.

“That was really intense, huh?” He furrowed his brows, his face slightly concerned. 

“Yeah, but he deserved it,” You rolled your eyes and scoffed. If anything, you could’ve gone harder on him and expressed every single inch of your rage, but your composure was commendable considering the circumstances. 

“Definitely, you should’ve seen how pale he was after you left,” Soonyoung shook his head in disbelief at the thought of it.

“He was definitely shitting himself, I didn’t know you could be that lethal,” Minghao pinched your arm and you smirked. It made you happy that your goal was accomplished, it made the trouble of making a scene worth it knowing how much it affected him. 

“I’m only lethal when I need to be,” You clarify with a chuckle, averting your gaze toward the rest of the dancefloor, “and we should go dance. Enough Joshua talk for now,” You whined into Minghao’s shoulder.

“Okay, okay, we can go,” Minghao kissed the back of your hand and gave a sympathetic look to Soonyoung. 

“Don’t go too crazy,” Soonyoung winked and walked away, working himself back into the hustle and bustle of the party. You lead Minghao into a free space on the dance floor, immediately feeling the vibe of the dance track in your body. You weren’t a spectacular dancer by any means, but you figured you didn’t look too awkward compared to everyone else around you.

Minghao naturally snakes his hands around your hips and you don’t resist his touch, it only elevates your mood. He falls into a natural rhythm with you, falling away to make you laugh with his dance moves before pulling you in again. When one song gets particularly heated, he pulls you against his chest and lets his hands wander further down to graze the curve of your ass. 

The lights are dim enough where people can’t see unless they’re being particularly nosy. 

He doesn’t linger for much longer before bringing his hands up to cup your face briefly before leaning in towards your ear.

“I wanna fuck you so badly,” He hums into your ear. You feel a blush creeping up your neck, you didn’t expect him to be so forward about it. He had never expressed desperation like this before, it almost made you lose it right then and there.

“You’ll have me soon enough, babe,” You respond as evenly as you could with the mounting tension between you. He doesn’t seem satisfied, his energy becoming a bit bratty in your hold. 

“One more hour, baby, can you make it until then?” You tease. He averts his glance from you and sighs deeply.

“Yes, of course I can,” He scoffed. His behavior only made you laugh, you had no idea how you’d managed to pull this reaction out of him. 

You held to your word, sticking around the party for exactly one more hour, but he wasn’t exactly concealing his reaction. As you started to make your final goodbyes around the party, his eagerness started to make its way to the surface. 

When you exchanged goodbyes with Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Chan, his grip got a bit tighter on your arm. 

You notice the way his hands wander across your lower back. He’s still cordial with the guys, of course, but every time you lock eyes with him you feel butterflies in your stomach.

Surprisingly, you even got to meet Mingyu and his wife for a moment right before you left.

Yet, Minghao is still lingering on you as if Joshua is right around the corner. When you feel him nestle his face in the crook of your neck to leave a prolonged kiss against your skin, you assume he’s nearby. 

The tension keeps itself incredibly high at every point until you’re in the car.

“Don’t look at me or else we’re not gonna make it out of the car,” He shifts the car into drive and your skin suddenly feels like it’s on fire.

—

“Fuck fuck fuck,” All other words are lost by the feeling of Minghao’s tongue on your cunt.

He didn’t even undress you or anything, he simply instructed you to lay back against the bed and let him take over which you could never be mad at.

He doesn’t let up at all, leaving you slightly torn at the contact. You’re enjoying yourself without a doubt, but the structured form of the dress starts to show its discomfort after a few moments.

“Minghao,” You breathe out. 

“Hm?”

“I’m still in the dress,” You stare at him in confusion.

“Is that okay?”

“I just want to get out of it, my boobs hurt,” It comes out more like a whine than a statement, but the point still stands.

“I promise I’ll undress you soon, okay? I just want to enjoy the way my darling looks wearing my masterpiece since I couldn’t do that in public,” He gently rubs the black fabric that adorns your legs. It gets you to soften up a bit.

“I look that gorgeous?” You ask quietly. You didn’t realize it had that much of an effect on him, but you’d probably be freaking out if you were in his position. He lets out a soft laugh and crawls up to your mouth, a wandering hand finds its way to your cheek. 

“Baby, you look incredible. You don’t know how many times I wanted to tear it apart tonight just to taste you,” He whispers against your mouth. “But it’s a gift,” He leaves a kiss on your jaw. “And I want you to remember how well I’m about to fuck you in it,” He moves back to your mouth and your moan gets trapped in a kiss.

His words make your cheeks flush with warmth. He sits up slightly to pull your gloves off one by one. “Okay, hands above your head,” He instructs you gently.

You follow his orders with curious eyes. He proceeds to use the gloves to tie your wrists together, the increasing tightness against your skin makes your heart pound in anticipation.

“Is it too tight?”

“No, I’m fine,” You admit. You’ve never had your hands restrained before, but you trust him to not hurt you. 

He lets you adjust to the new feeling for a moment before disappearing under the fabric of your skirt and resume his previous movements, but it’s not long before he hikes your skirt up with forceful hands.

“Shit,” You whimper.

He replaces his tongue with two of his fingers, the sudden pressure forces out a moan that almost makes you ashamed.

“Gonna work you open just how you like it, ok?” His eyes are noticeably darker when they meet yours, the lust seems to overtake him completely. You get lost in the feeling of his fingers repeatedly hitting that spongy spot, your walls keep clenching around him out of habit. He’s just too good at it, his slender fingers always have you seeing stars pretty quickly.

His speed increases and your arms fall slightly. He’s getting noises out of you that you’ve never heard before, the cries of his name are all you can register in your brain beside the pounding in your ears.

“My pretty little brat, always so needy for me huh?” The resurgence of the nickname makes the coil in your stomach tighten even more, you can barely hold yourself together. 

You want to say something, anything on your mind, but you’re simply reduced to babbling. 

“Come on, tell me how much you wanted me to touch you,” His low voice has a complete hold on you at the moment. He wants to work you up as much as possible before you break, and you could only force yourself to submit.

“So badly, please, I thought about you all night,” You squeeze your eyes shut to hold yourself together, his fingers haven’t slowed their pace yet.

“Look at me,” His voice is so gentle, but the moment you meet his eyes, you know that you need to cum.

“You wanna cum?”

“Yes, please, I’ve been good tonight,” You beg him for mercy knowing you’re at the point of no return.

“You’re close, aren’t you, baby?” He smirks at the mess in front of him, how desperate you are as your legs start to shake from the pressure. You can only nod at this point. 

“Holding on for me like a good girl?” He curls his fingers tighter and it rips a scream from your throat.

“Yes!” Your reply comes out just as loudly.

“Then you can cum,” His instructions send you over the edge, you feel yourself coat his fingers repeatedly and you can barely keep your eyes open.

You take a few heaving breaths and you feel his lips against your thigh.

“You did so well,” He offers praise in between kisses, his mouth against your skin helps ground you again.

“Are you good for some more?” He’s up to untie your restraints before you can think about it, and you revel in the feeling of your wrists being untied.

“Yeah, I’m good,” You nod. He tosses your gloves to the floor before moving to straddle you.

You can feel his erection against you and your breath hitches. He captures your lips in a kiss before you can call him out on it, you can taste traces of your cum against his lips. He moans against your neck and you wish you could hold him there for the rest of the night.

“Want you to cum in me so badly,” You whisper.

“I’m on it, angel,” He leaves one last kiss against your lips before he stands up.

“Wait,” You rush to sit up, adjusting your position on the bed a bit too quickly.

“What?”

“Let me help you get undressed,” You soften your voice, placing your hands on his hips.

He grins at your touch and guides your fingers to his zipper. You take the hint and unbuckle his belt, throwing it to the side before unzipping his pants. He strips out of his pants and you already have your hands tugging on his boxers.

You force them down to reveal his very irritated cock. He’s clearly been holding his restraint for far too long, so you don’t think too hard before you stroke him gently.

His knees almost buckle from the contact, and he forces your hand away.

“Shit, don’t make me cum, I’m not supposed to cum on you, right?” He asks with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“No,” You shake your head with an unassuming smile.

“Exactly, I can’t ruin this beautiful dress, now can I?” He straddles you once again, helping you gather your skirt up as far as it’ll go before it hits the bodice.

He lines himself up at your entrance and you’re already bracing yourself for the intensity of it all. 

The initial push isn’t as bad as you thought, but it still makes you groan as you clutch onto his arm. He pushes through until he’s bottomed out, but you both sigh audibly the moment it stops. 

You’re just so full that it’s hard to focus on anything else, so much so that he notices.

“Baby?”

“Yeah,” You force your eyes open to look at him.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, it’s just you,” You place emphasis on the last word and he’s lowering his head in surprise.

“I’m gonna move now,” He confirms his plan and you nod.

His strokes are incredibly slow at first, you’re sure that you’ll cum if he adjusts himself any further. He soon finds his rhythm though, you notice how intently he’s watching you when you look at his face again. 

He’s obsessed with you, the way your face scrunches up in pleasure, and how your moans sound heavenly in response to him.

“I love you so much,” The words sound blurred with pleasure as he tries to fight the groans escaping from his mouth. You’re not faring much better, he manages to render you speechless as the sound of his skin hitting yours echoes throughout the hotel room.

“I love you,” You breathe out, your arms draped around his neck and you pull him closer until he’s nearly laying on your chest.

“Is this what you want, baby? Do you want me to cover every inch of you like this?” His voice is gravelly in your ear, begging you to give in to him.

“Yes, fuck, stay low like this please,” You pull yourself onto his mouth and lose yourself to him. He moves his head to the crook of your neck to help him gain some control, he’s able to cage you in slightly to hit you even deeper than before.

You can only grasp his hair and whine through it all. Your nerves are ready to let go at any moment, but you’re trying to savor how close he is to you. His cologne, the feeling of his skin on yours, his voice, your brain can only process pieces of him.

“Minghao, fuck,” You can’t even begin to form a coherent sentence, just mumbling his name over and over again. 

“Gonna cum?”

“Yes, yes yes,” He picks up the pace slightly to accommodate you and lets your orgasm hit full force, his cum fills you up so well that you can barely breathe. You clutch him even tighter than before and he fucks you through the orgasm, mumbling sweet nothings in your ear to calm you down.

“You’re always so good for me,” He whispers against your skin. He takes a moment to admire you despite your heavy panting.

His orgasm hits soon after and you feel him still around you, inhaling a sharp breath beside you.

You don’t separate for a long while, you just bring him back down to earth with soft touches. He’s always taking care of you, so you figure it’s time to do the same for him.

“Ready to get up, baby?” You rub his shoulder with encouragement.

“Not really,” His laugh vibrates against your chest. He was very cute, but you knew you had to convince him because it was getting a bit too hot in this position.

“Well, you have to take me out of the dress since you put me in it,” You try to sway him. “And it’s gonna feel so good to be in our pajamas, right?”

“Mhm,” He agrees.

“So let’s get up before I lose feeling in my legs,” You joke with him, but you’re rapidly feeling more and more tethered to the bed. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” He pulls out of you swiftly and falls to the other pillow beside you. You finally feel like you can breathe once you sit up. 

You take a moment to remove your jewelry and place it on the nightstand before turning back to him. You’re sure that he’s been looking at you the whole time by the way he grins at your attention.

“Hi,” You turn your head over your shoulder, his eye contact makes you shy.

“Hi, love.”

“Can you unzip me? Pretty please?” You raise your voice slightly, pursing your lips to make him smile.

“Yes, sorry I kept you waiting,” It succeeds when he grins at you, he finally scoots toward you and pulls down the zipper, which allows you to slip out of the dress. 

“Thank god,” You sigh a bit too loud. You have to steady your nerves before standing up, but you’re still a bit wobbly when you’re stumbling around the room looking for a shirt.

“Felt that good?”

“Feel like my boobs were held hostage all night,” He looks slightly worried and you have to backtrack slightly, “which was not your fault, it’s just naturally a bit uncomfortable,” You slip an oversized shirt over his head, one that you stole from the back of his t-shirt drawer. 

“Okay,” He still watches you hesitantly. “Wait, that’s my shirt,” He points at you in fake shock.

“Yeah, I’ve stolen quite a few of your shirts. I’m shocked you haven’t noticed yet,” You sift through your bag to find clean underwear and slip them on with your back turned to him.

“I have noticed,” You hear him get off the bed to find clothes, “and I don’t care, you look pretty in them.” You realize he’s fully dressed when he hugs you from behind and kisses you on the cheek. 

You hum in affirmation, closing your eyes and you naturally start to rock back and forth in his arms. You feel him kiss the top of your head and you revel in the moment, the silence that always speaks volumes between you.

“Hey,” You speak up.

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” You’re getting used to saying it out loud more often, you force yourself to fight past the nerves of expressing it to him more often now.

“I love you too,” He responds immediately, it makes your heart sing. 

It feels like a new chapter has unofficially begun, one where you have to address the future standing in front of you. How do you not let yourself get lost in this relationship? 

How do you love when you’ve never been in a healthy relationship before?

It’s something that lingers when you fall asleep curled up next to him, trying to quiet the fears creeping up in your mind.

—

The next morning moves far more slowly than the day before. You can’t help but hold onto him a bit longer in bed, your fingertips just want to feel the warmth of his skin, your mind feels at ease when you feel his heartbeat against your ear. 

By the way he tightens his arms around you, you figure he’s not itching to let you go either. The beach day you’ve both thought about seems like it’s drifting away with each passing moment. 

“Baby?” He rasps.

“Hmm?”

“You’re awake.”

“So are you,” You sit up to get a better look at him. His hair is completely messy, and you watch him try to smooth it out but to no avail. 

“Do you still wanna go out today? We don’t have to,” His offer is definitely inviting, but you figure you should make the most of your trip before the inevitably long ride home. 

“No, we should. I wanna see you in that outfit you packed,” You giggle.

“You’ve just got ulterior motives, huh?”

“Maybe,” You bite your lip and concentrate on his eyes.

“That’s okay, I was thinking about what you’d wear too,” He admits with a shake of his head. You give him a peck on the lips and push on his chest lightly.

“Come on, let’s get going then,” You kiss him on the cheek before forcing yourself out of bed to get ready. You both fall into separate routines, only converging to eat breakfast and brush your teeth while getting yourselves together. 

Minghao does end up wearing the outfit he showed you back at his apartment, the baby blue set is slightly oversized on him but it works against his skin tone. You opt for a similar coverup layout, wearing a tropical print shirt and a pair of shorts to cover your bikini. 

The beach isn’t too far from the hotel, but the walk feels especially crisp with the late summer air on your skin. The day was breaking into early afternoon by the time you both left, it was bright enough that you both ended up needing your sunglasses. 

Just like the day before, you strolled arm in arm taking in the sights of the neighborhood. You were grateful that there wasn’t any internal pressure anymore now that the wedding was over, you were still trying to adjust to not being on defense the entire time.

As you approached the beach, it dawned on you that despite enjoying yourself last night, fighting with Joshua made you realize just how hard you were willing to fight for Minghao. It’s easy to say what you might do when you’ve spent a month ruminating on the moment, but the pressure made your anger hard to ignore.

Since it was the weekend, there were a moderate amount of people enjoying themselves along the beach. Couples, families, and friend groups were sunbathing, playing around, eating food, or just enjoying each other’s company.

Somehow, you were able to find a spot to lay down your old beach towel for the both of you to sit on top of. It was thankfully out of the way from the crowds, so you were able to observe people without too much trouble. 

You were able to sit in silence with each other for a few moments, absorbing the white noise of the people and the distant noise of the waves on the horizon.

“When does your lease end?” He asks you suddenly.

“January. Why?” 

“Do you still want to live there? You know, after everything?” His questions make you shrink in on yourself once you hear them.

You honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead. You figured that if you managed to avoid Joshua for this long, you could continue to make it happen. Yet, you couldn’t imagine how that could possibly work now knowing how badly you’d gone off on him.

“Shit,” You let out a shaky breath, concentrating on the ocean that sat at the edge of your sight.

“We don’t have to do anything,” He reminds you gently.

“No, you’re right. If I want it to be completely over, I need to move,” You affirm your decision. You need to be firm with your own boundaries, mostly for your own sake. 

“Okay.”

“How do you feel about moving though?” You posit the question and he’s already adjusting himself on the beach towel.

“I mean, aside from everything else, the apartment is getting kinda small for me. I just need more space in general,” He sighs at the thought.

“What’s top priority?” You humor him and he smiles for a moment before answering.

“An actual home office. I think not having enough space to get work done is bothering me,” His thought seems unfinished by the way he looks up at the sky, trying to conjure more ideas.

“But?”

“But I’m trying to keep my work and home life more separate, especially now that we’re together,” He says it without thinking and your eyes widen.

“We’re together, huh?” You joke.

It seems to hit him immediately. You’ve both said I love you, so it just seemed natural that you were together already.

Yet, he hasn’t asked. You haven’t asked.

“Y/N,” He reaches out for your hands and you gladly let him hold them. 

“Yes?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He’s grinning so hard just waiting for your reply, you don’t think that you could ever tell him no. 

“Of course, Minghao,” You cup his face and pull him into a kiss. 

He’s noticeably shyer than before once he pulls away from you, his cheeks are slightly pink. “Anyway, I just want it to be our space now that we’re together. I want it to feel like home.” 

You can only imagine what an apartment mixed with both of your tastes looks like, but it still makes your heart feel warm. 

“That makes sense, so I assume your lease ends around the same time?” You lean back onto your palms, letting out a quiet sigh. 

“Yeah, mid January. It seems so far away just thinking about it,” His words make you think of how brutal winter is back in the city. You hate having to trudge home in the snow, boots covered in sludge all while trying to stay warm with too many layers on.

You push it to the back of your head once you look up at the bright blue sky, drawing you back into the feeling of summer. 

Silence falls over the two of you again. The idea of planning a future with him feels foreign, how do you begin to process all of that?

“Scary,” You shiver from the breeze passing by.

“It is scary,” He doesn’t comfort you this time, instead confirming the fear of it. 

“Honestly, Minghao, I’m just scared of us,” You cross your arms and let out a deep sigh, focusing your eyes on the ocean ahead. 

“How so? I want to know what you’re feeling,” His voice is so inviting, you know that you can’t hold back from him anymore.

“I’m scared that I’m gonna fuck this up. I’ve never been in this kind of relationship and it scares me so much,” You clear your throat to avoid the tears threatening to spill out. “I don’t want to sabotage this because I’ve never felt this safe with someone before.” 

“Baby,” He places a hand on your arms, gently trying to pry them apart. You let him hold your hand, but you still can’t look at him. You’re not sure why it’s so embarrassing to be so vulnerable with him.

“I’m scared too. We’re still learning about each other’s boundaries, and it’s honestly still hard for me to express things to you. We’re gonna make mistakes with each other, but that’s natural. But, I know you’re bringing this up because you want us to start on a good foundation, right?”

“Yeah,” Your voice is still shaky, but you nod in agreement.

“Exactly, and that’s a great first step. I know it’s hard for both of us to open up, but I’m happy you told me,” He validates your fears and you finally look him in the eyes.

“Thank you, I just didn’t want to hide that when we’re about to truly start the relationship. I trust that we can call each other out on things if we cross a line, you know?” You still tried your best to hold eye contact, but you can’t help but focus on anything but his face.

“Yeah, absolutely. We’ll get there,” He finds your hand and squeezes it gently. The burden wasn’t completely resolved, but it was shared and that felt much better than keeping it all bottled up.

You found yourself staring out at the sea once again, eyes sometimes wandering to the people that would pass by. The silence wasn’t heavy this time, but rather full of mutual understanding. You soon felt a pull to explore the beach.

“Do you want to go down to the water?” You speak up.

“Yeah,” His face brightens and he helps you up off of the towel before standing up on his own.

You strip down out of your cover up, fold your clothes and place them in a neat pile near your shoes. “Race you there!” You yell suddenly and break out into a sprint.

“That’s not fair, you got a head start!” He’s close behind you, you can hear him catching up to you but you’re still running your hardest. 

He passes you soon enough, sticking his tongue out at you before breezing past you. You’re out of breath by the time you reach the waves, but he’s waiting for you with open arms.

His embrace is as welcoming as always, and you spend a few moments catching your breath against his shoulder. He instinctively holds you a bit tighter and it feels heavenly. The moment you’re alright, you both wade deeper into the ocean, splashing each other until you’re both laughing uncontrollably.

You don’t realize how long you’ve been out in the water until you feel the heat of the sun against your skin more harshly than before.

You both retreat and dry off in your designated corner before covering up again. The walk back to the car is quiet, but you’re learning to embrace those moments with him a bit more. 

After grabbing lunch at a nearby restaurant, the road-trip begins once again, with you in the passenger seat while he drives. It’s more or less the same as when you first drove up, he entertains you with conversation until you fall asleep, only to wake up dazed hours later.

This time, you manage to fall asleep for the rest of the ride, only waking up when Minghao tells you that you’re home. 

You mutually decide to spend the night apart to properly prepare for the first day of your new jobs the next day, plus you need a bit of space to recharge from the trip.

You wouldn’t be apart for much longer though, you mutually agreed that Minghao would carpool you both to and from work each day unless he had to head in early or stay late at his office. However, he reassured you that he’d always let you know about those kinds of things early on. 

It was a reliable routine that you could look forward to, you thought to yourself as you unpacked your clothes from your compact suitcase. 

Once you text Soonyoung and Chan to let them know that you made it back safely, you delve into your nightly routine. It’s odd not to have him around, you feel his absence at every point of the night. 

You’re able to fall asleep that night, but not as easily, silently hoping that he misses you all the same.

—

“Minghao? Are you okay?”

“All good,” He nods at you, staring at your shared workplace the next morning. The building seems a bit more intimidating when you’re about to begin the biggest job you’ve both had thus far.

“You seem nervous, love,” You see past his neutral expression and catch the slight tension in his brows.

“I am, I thought I’d be okay since I’ve already started the new work, but it’s different now. Everyone’s looking to me for all of the answers,” His brows furrow while he rants, but you notice the tension in his shoulders as he clutches his bag tighter in his fist.

“Hey, look at me,” You force him to meet your gaze, turning him around gently. “It’s okay to be nervous. You are perfectly capable and if you have any concerns, you’ve got people there to help right?”

He nods silently and your eyebrows perk up in support. “That’s great! You won’t be alone. I’ll be there in spirit, okay? Take this,” You give him a small frog statue that you’d been holding in your coat pocket and he smiles so wide that he breaks into laughter.

“This is cute, where’d you get it?” He admires the glazed figurine with care.

“I went to the hotel gift shop. I know you like frogs, I saw something on your desk,” You took a moment to look at the few items on his desk while you were there for the dress fitting and noticed a small frog plush, so you figured it needed a friend. 

“This is really sweet, babe, thank you. I feel a bit better about it,” His smile doesn’t go away as he tucks the figurine into his pocket.

“You’re welcome, I’m happy that I could help a little bit,” You kiss him briefly and he gives a kiss on your cheek in return.

“I’m really glad that I have you to rely on,” His words are so sincere that they make you blush. You’re always worried that you’re not doing enough for him, but you remember your conversation on the beach and realize that you’re both trying to be better. 

“I’m just glad that I can be there for you,” You offer the sentiment and it’s clear that it means a lot to him by the way he squeezes your hand and kisses it sweetly. The small gesture is enough to carry you through the rest of your day. 

The first full day is quite long, and you’re still overwhelmed by the full scope of your department, but you’re not meant to understand everything in the first day.

Your coworkers seem nice, your supervisors are intimidating, but you’re actually able to do some design work the first day. It’s far more than you expected out of the job, but it feels meant to be once you think back on your day.

You tried your best, and that’s all you can do. 

The best part of the day is watching him come outside to meet you, noticeably more tired than the morning, but he’s clearly excited to see you. He doesn’t say a word, silently enveloping you in a hug while he collects his thoughts. 

“Good first day?” You ask quietly.

“Yeah,” He mumbles into your ear, he pulls away soon enough and grabs your hand, leading you both to his car.

The drive home is far more talkative than normal, both of you swapping first day stories that gain laughs and surprised expressions from each other while looking back on the day.

The routine starts to fall into place naturally in your mind, you’re excited to get used to hearing him hum along to music in the car and asking you what he should make for dinner.

You’re worthy of this, worthy of being in a calm and healthy dynamic. It may seem boring to other people, but the comfort of knowing your partner trusts you and understanding that they genuinely enjoy your company is far more valuable than you originally thought.

—

January rolls around and apartment hunting is moderately stressful, but you end up with a two bedroom apartment that both of you like. You both agree to make a detailed spreadsheet with all your options, comparing all of them while nestled in bed together. Your lease ends before his, so his apartment is crowded for a few weeks before you’re both able to move out. 

Furniture shopping is far more stressful, and there’s plenty of small arguments about your styles, but the end product is worth it. This apartment is far more cozy than your last living situation, far more inviting than before and you’re not scared to be yourself around him. 

You’re not afraid to be at home knowing you’re both ready and willing to support each other.

The first year of your relationship is naturally filled with ups and downs, but the downs are especially frightening.

Complications with your medicine put you in the hospital and Minghao has never been more terrified, he isn’t able to think of anything else except if his love is safe and sound. 

The incident pulls you both back from work, but you’re able to make it through. Knowing how easily he could’ve lost you, Minghao doesn’t want to waste any more time.

You think nothing of him asking about if you prefer gold or silver or when you find him exploring your jewelry box, he just explains that he left one of his own rings in there. 

He was just eager, eager to make you a more permanent fixture in his life.

--

Minghao is incredibly nervous, all things considered. 

Your one year anniversary is today and he wants, no he needs, to propose to you tonight. The ring has been burning a hole in the back of one of his drawers for months now. He’s not sure how he’s managed to keep you off his tracks, but he’s grateful that you’ve had a bit more work to deal with lately. 

He had managed to pull a few strings and was able to rent out your favorite botanical garden in the city for the evening, it was something he’s wanted to do for you ever since you mentioned your affinity for gardens on the road trip last summer.

You were under the impression that you were both invited for a self guided tour, but you were blissfully unaware of his ulterior motives. 

If his timing was right, he’d be able to propose right as the sun was setting against the glass panes of the expansive greenhouse towards the end of the tour.

The tour had gone according to plan, you were enthralled by seeing the various kinds of plants and flowers that were displayed through each of the rooms. You were both on the way to the last room when you gushed over the experience once again.

“Everything is just so beautiful, I can’t believe you did this for us,” You lean your head against his shoulder.

“Of course, I figured it would be nice to not do a traditional dinner, but something we’ll remember,” He hints unknowingly and kisses you on the forehead. 

It’s not too far ahead now, and the sounds of your heels clicking along the tiles make him exponentially more nervous.

You reach the double doors and you stop walking.

You look down to see a path of roses leading into the greenhouse. Your eyes widen slightly and you turn to offer Minghao a hesitant smile. “What’s all this?” You ask quietly.

“Just a little something for you,” Minghao responds calmly, but he can barely keep it together internally. It’s hitting him all at once you walk in, your eyes immediately hitting the centerpiece in the middle of the room. 

“Oh my god,” Your eyes nearly pop out of their head at the sight of the words staring directly at you on a big sign.

Marry me.

“What are you doing,” Your voice is slightly shaky already, but he continues to walk you towards the setup.

“Hao, seriously,” You ask him again, but he simply holds your hand and starts to speak from the heart.

“This has been such an amazing year with you, and I honestly don’t think my life has ever felt so joyful before. You’re so supportive of me that as a result, I’ve been able to be much kinder to myself,” He stops to wipe his eyes. He lets out a shaky breath before continuing again. 

“Every day, I think about how I’ve been lucky enough to find someone who cares so deeply about me. I know this relationship didn’t start in the ideal way, but I would be your fake boyfriend 100 times over if it meant we could find each other again, if we could grow together. I want to take care of you for the rest of my life, if you’ll let me. So with that said,” He finally kneels and it breaks any of the resolve you might've had left in your body.

He opens the black velvet box to reveal a gold floral shaped diamond ring that knocks the wind out of you.

It’s so startlingly beautiful that you almost forget he hasn’t said the words yet. 

“Y/N, will you marry me?”

“Yes, what the fuck,” You sob at him and he’s beaming, you can barely see his smile through your tears. 

He instinctively grabs your hand to place the ring on your finger. It feels like your body is floating the moment he stands up to kiss you, your hands instinctively find the back of his neck and nestle into his hair.

“Glad I put on a shit ton of setting spray,” You whisper in his ear and pull away from him. He giggles and wipes the stray tears that are strewn across your cheeks.

“You still look beautiful, love,” He reassures you with a soft swipe against your cheek.

“You’re handsome too. I didn’t think you’d cry during the speech,” You push his shoulder lightly and he blushes.

“I basically blacked out, I practiced it so much,” He shakes his head at the thought of it all. 

“It was worth it, that was beautiful,” You pat his hair lovingly. 

“I have another surprise though,” He offers.

“Wait, what is it?”

“Well, the director of the gardens is a Semicolon fan, and I happened to be working as assistant creative director on her favorite collection. So, she’s letting us get married here for free,” He raises his eyebrows and looks at you with a playful glance. “Minghao,” You’re practically in tears again. You couldn’t be happier. 

“I told her this was your favorite place in the entire city, and she was quite happy to hear that,” He reaches to tuck a stray hair behind your ear and you melt into his touch.

“You’re so perfect, thank you baby,” You don’t let him get a word out before you’re kissing him much deeper this time, all the love and passion seems to come through immediately.

He reciprocated with the same level of commitment, holding you tenderly as you led him through the kiss.

“You’re welcome,” He mumbles into your ear.

It’s difficult to capture just how much has changed in a year. You’d like to think you’re much easier on yourself, now that you’re focused on what’s ahead of you instead of being so fixated on the past. It seems impractical that you were able to give yourself so easily to love, but you can’t deny how much it’s softened you.

When Minghao holds you in the aftermath of the proposal, you think you could stay there forever.

In that moment, you were simply grateful to be understood, grateful to be loved, and grateful to start a life with someone who saw the potential in you despite everything in the world that made you feel the opposite.

You can’t help but feel excited at the prospect of a life where there’s always love waiting for you when you least expect it.

[tekatonic]

Decided to compile all the (digital) Tails stuff I hadn't posted throughout 2022 ! ( most recent to least recent ) The second image is @tsaikonautz's Tails design drawn in the style I use for my sonas and related ocs.

( newer Tails design here )

[jackharloww]

Everything will be alright part 2 (birth story)

Summary: Here comes the second part of the birth fic. Make sure to read the first part HERE

Warnings: a lot of emotions

The bleeding continued and the doctors were working their hardest to stop it. Emily had to leave the room, and the last thing she saw was you closing your eyes and a lot of nurses running around. She was worried sick as she sat outside in the waiting room just staring at the wall, waiting for someone to give her more information.

Meanwhile, Maggie picked Jack up from the airport and they both rushed to the hospital. Jack wasn't saying much, but Maggie could see the worry on his face. A nurse showed them to the waiting room where they saw Emily sitting there with her scrubs.

“Where is she, what’s happening” Jack said in a panic

“They..” Emily swallowed , “they wouldn’t let me stay, she just blacked out and the bleeding didn’t stop” she explained, her voice was shaking. Jack walked towards the door that lead to the operation room and tried to open it, immediately a nurse came out.

“Im sorry sir, you have to wait in here”

“My wife is in there, I have to go see her” he raised his voice “I have to see her” he repeated, softer this time, and tried opening the door once more.

“Sir you can’t, the doctors are doing their best, please sit down and wait” she answered.

“I have to be by my wife’s side” he said, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“There’s nothing I can do sir, you have to wait” the nurse answered him, shaking her head. Jack was ready to speak again when Maggie walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder

“Come here son, let them work” she said and made him turn around, Pulling him into a hug

“I need her to be okay mom” he sobbed in his moms arms as she rubbed his back, trying to keep her own tears from falling. “I can’t lose her” jack cried. They stood like that for a few minutes, Jack crying in Maggie’s arms and her calming him down, before Maggie walked him to the chairs and they both sat down, waiting for someone to come and give them updates.

After 10 minutes Jack couldn’t handle it anymore and stood up and began pacing around, and after 20 minutes Maggie lost her patience as well and walked up to a nurse who walked past them.

“What’s happening in there? Why hasn’t anyone giving us any updates?” She asked with an annoyed expression on her face. Jack was thankful she did that because he did not have the energy to do so himself.

“Let me check and I’ll let you know” the nurse kindly replied and walked away. Maggie let out a deep sigh and walked back to her chair.

After another 10 minutes, the doctor exited the room and walked up to them. All three of them stood up, impatiently waiting for her to tell them something.

“Mr.Harlow, your wife lost a lot of blood but we were thankfully able to locate the bleeding and stop it in time” she gently smiled as Jack let out a sigh of relief before crying into his hands. “She will be moved into a room where she will have to rest and be closely monitored for any complications, And your son has been taken to the NICU for monitoring and care” the doctor explained.

“When can we see them?” Emily asked

“Hopefully soon, we will update you” she smiled and went back into the room. You were taken into a room and shortly after Jack was allowed to come in and see you.

As soon as Jack saw your sleeping body he broke down in tears again, he walked up to you and gently grabbed your hand. Maggie and Emily stayed outside to give him a moment alone with you.

“Please be okay, please” he cried “I can't do this without you” 

After a few minutes, Maggie knocked on the door and told him that the doctor had some updates. Jack stood up straight and walked to sit on the couch, he wiped away his tears and took deep breaths as the doctor walked in. 

“Mr.Harlow I have good news,” The doctor said and gave Jack a gentle smile, his eyes lit up and he waited for her to continue. “You have a beautiful and strong baby boy waiting for you in the NICU.” Jack stood up as soon as he heard that, ready to go and meet his son. He walked up to you and planted a gentle kiss on your forehead before following the doctor.

“His vitals look good but he will need to stay at the NICU for a period of time to receive specialized care, but let's go meet him” The doctor informed him everything, while she showed him the way to where baby boy was. He could barely take all the information in, everything on his mind was you and his son, so he was thankful his mom and Emily were there and took everything in. 

Only Jack was allowed to go in, he had to wash his hands and wear a gown, a mask as well as a hair cap. The doctor showed him where his son was and Jack couldn't help the tears from falling once more. His beautiful baby boy was lying in an incubator, he was so tiny but the most beautiful little boy Jack had ever seen. He walked up to the incubator and stared at his son, awe in his eyes. 

“I love you” he whispered “You are a very strong boy, I know you got this” Jack wiped his tears before continuing, “You have a very wonderful big sister waiting for you at home, and a very strong mother that loves you” he sniffled and put his hand on the glass, smiling gently at his son. He stayed like that for a while, just watching and talking to his son. 

“Mr. Harlow, I'm sorry to interrupt” A nurse came into the room after almost an hour, “Mrs. Harlow just woke up and she’s asking for you”. Jack stood up as soon as he heard that, he glanced quickly at his son and smiled before nodding to the nurse “Of course”. He had no idea why he was nervous, but he was, he just wanted to see your face and for you to be alright. 

He opened the door and saw Maggie and Emily smiling at you, you turned your head when you heard the door open and got emotional as soon as you saw your husband's face. “Hi,” you said as he walked over to you, “Hi” he smiled at you and both of your eyes got filled with tears. 

“I’m so sorry” you mumbled, the tears streaming down your face as soon as you said that.

“hey hey no, this wasn't your fault,” He said and grabbed your hand, pulling it closer to kiss it. You stayed quiet for a few minutes, the both of you crying.  “I thought I lost the both of you” Jack cried and leaned his head on your hand, You wiped the tears away from his face and shook your head. "I was so scared" you whispered under your breath. He nodded and came closer to you, he put his forehead against yours before leaning in and softly kissing you.

"He's really beautiful," Jack said as you both calmed down, as much as possible. Your eyes lit up as you stared at Jack "You saw him?" you asked. Jack got a big smile as he nodded happily "I did, he's so small" You both smiled. Jack walked out and asked the nurses when you could see him and they informed him that they had to take a few more tests and bring you a wheelchair, so in a few hours.

"How's Grace? Have you talked to Clay?" You asked Emily, worried about your daughter. "I did, they had a good time don't worry, she fell asleep an hour ago" Emily walked up to your hospital bed and showed you the pictures and videos Clay had sent her of Grace.

The medication made you very sleepy and as Jack and Emily sat and talked next to you, you fell asleep again. Maggie went to your house to grab some stuff for you and Jack, as you would have to stay at least another day and Jack didn't want to leave your side. You were thankful that Clay and Emily could stay at your place with Grace.

You woke up after about two hours, the room was quiet and only a soft lamp lit up the room. You looked to the couch and saw Jack lying there with his head back, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes closed. Next to him, you saw two of your weekend bags, and on the table in the middle were yours and his phone. The nurse knocked on your door and Jack opened his eyes and quickly sat up straight, you could tell he was tired.

"Mrs. Harlow, Your vitals are looking good, and we have a wheelchair if you would like to meet your son" The nice nurse smiled and pushed the wheelchair closer to you. "Yes please" You got excited and tried moving, but it was hard for you to do it by yourself. Jack ran to your side and with his and the nurse's help you were able to get up and sit on the chair, very carefully. You were of course very sore from the surgery but you were determined to meet your little son. Jack pushed your wheelchair as the nurse showed you the way, and your emotions skyrocketed.

"How do you feel?" Jack asked as the nurse gave you masks and gowns to wear, "I just want to see him" you whispered, already feeling your eyes getting watery, Jack leaned down and you both shared a kiss before the nurse walked you into the room your son laid in. Jack pushed you to the incubator and you put your hand on the glass, he was so tiny and beautiful, he had tubes all over but he was still the most beautiful baby boy you had ever seen. You stayed quiet for a moment, the both of you just staring and smiling in awe at your son taking small breaths.

“I can’t wait for Gracie to meet him” Jack whispered

“She’s going to be the best big sister” you answered and looked up at Jack, giving him a gentle smile. He bent down and gave you a kiss. The nurse returned with a chair for Jack and the both of you stayed with you son for awhile, before it was time for you to return to bed.

Next day

The sun shining through the blinds woke you up, you turned your head to the side and saw that Jack was still asleep on the bed they had taken it for him. You knew he was tired so you let him sleep longer. You reached for your phone that was now next to you and texted Emily to see how everything was going. After just a few seconds you got a FaceTime call from her.

“Mommyyy�� Grace screamed happily as soon as she saw your face on the screen

“Hi my baby” you tried to whisper, not wanting to wake Jack up “did you have a good time with aunty Em and uncle Clay?” You asked her, receiving a nod.

“I did, but I miss you mama” she pouted, you knew she probably got worried seeing you like that. You heard Jack shuffle in bed and saw that he now had his eyes open.

“I know baby, but look who I have here” you turned the phone to Jack and Grace immediately got a big smile on her face “dadaaaa” she screamed. Jack reached out and grabbed the phone from your hand, “hi my Gracie” he said with his raspy morning voice. They talked for a while before Jack got up and stood next to you.

“Guess what Grace” he said as Grace shrugged, waiting for him to continue

“You have a baby brother waiting to meet you”

—————————————————————

The next thing I’m going to write will ofc be when Grace gets to meet her little brother and that’s when you’ll get a name reveal🤭

And thank you to anon for making me go with the dramatic version of Jack storming in haha 🤭🫶🏽

taglist: @hoodharlow , @pianoisland , @harlowcomehome , @itsyagirljaz , @neon-lights-and-glitter , @heavyhitterheaux , @nattinatalia , @harlowsbby

[littlegodzilla]

Here I am again!!

This time I come with the second part of Pregnant. Yes I'm terrible with titles sorry they never were my best part.

I hope you'll like it.

Enjoy!!

Part 1.

**********

Pregnant. Part 2.

Daryl Dixon x Reader.

One shot.

Warning: Angst. Fluff. Giving birth.

Words: 3600.

Summary: Daryl keeps his word to take care of you while you're pregnant, but the things between you two are complicated.

Taglist: @phoenixblack89 @browneyes528 @lilythemadqueen @darylsgarden @thefemininemystiquee @green-eyedladywrites @hail-yourselves @ruinedbythehobbit @xxtinasxxblog @ravenwings73 @spenciepoo338 @b-tchymoon @minervadashwood @darylssluttt @let-love-bleeds-red @ravendixon @livingdeadblondequeen

******************

That was already bordering on the absurd. You are lying on your bed, your back against the headboard, you have a book in your hands, you are wearing a comfortable nightgown and your belly is huge. Really; huge. You don't know what the hell you're carrying, but it's certainly not a baby. But that's not the worst of it. The worst of it is Daryl.

The man hasn't left your side the entire time. Maybe it sounds idiotic of you, but he's not doing it in a loving or cute way, he's more like a jailer, sitting next to you the whole time, eyes fixed on your bulging belly, as if he has x-rays and can see through you to the baby's condition. You've tried talking to him a hundred different ways, but he just ignores you.

He's still angry with you, hurt, knowing you were pregnant, that you could an abort still weighs on his shoulders. You have tried to apologize, but nothing you say to him seems to calm his state.

This morning you wake up feeling a light caress on your belly, you slowly open your eyes feeling Daryl's body right behind yours, wrapping an arm around your waist, his hand resting on your bulging belly, you can't help but smile because the fetus moves looking for the warmth that Daryl provides. With gentle movements you pull up your nightgown to watch your belly move each time your baby does. Daryl, behind your body, moves up a little to see it too. One of your side marks the baby's little foot and the archer slides his hand into position, you grimace, some parts are more sensitive than others and sometimes it hits a little too pointedly.

"I have to go to the bathroom..." You say feeling like you're breaking the moment.

"Let me help ya." Daryl gets out of bed and carefully helps you do the same.

"Daryl, really, it's just a pregnancy and I'm already due, nothing is going to happen because I'm going to the bathroom by myself..." You try to talk some sense into him, but he just gives you an intense stare. "Fine, have it your way." You sigh giving up, going to the bathroom, feeling his presence on the other side while you go about your business.

"Denise still hasn't told us what it is..." You suddenly hear the hunter's voice.

A conversation, good, that's good.

"I think she's waiting to hold it." You're trying to joke when you feel a sharp prick. You grimace, but slowly sit up from the toilet.

"Dunno she'll be the first to hold it." You hear him say and a chuckle escapes you.

"Are you going to help me?" you try to provoke him, but again an intense prickling runs through you. "Uh..."

"Yer okay?" Daryl's voice is agitated and he peeks through the bathroom door.

"Yeah, it's contractions..." You explain and he frowns.

"How often yer havin' them?"

"A little... they started when I got up."

"Okay, let's go to the room again, I'll go get Denise." He tells you and grabs your hand to help you.

"Oh, God!" you groan as the pain increases and you bend forward. "I-I think it's coming..." You whisper looking up at him in fright.

"Okay, relax, it's gonna be okay." He promises you, tugging on your hand, insisting you walk. "I'm gonna go downstairs for a moment, okay? I need someone to go to the infirmary..."

"I'm fine, you can..." You gasp again and squeeze his hand.

"I'm ain't moving from here." He assures you and guides you to the window where you lean against. "Take a deep breath, I'll be right back."

Daryl hurries down the stairs, so much so that his footsteps echo like a troop, skips the last few steps and looks in all the rooms in search of someone inside the house. He curses under his breath, with all the people who are living there and now there is no one. It is a cruel irony. He chews his lip, nervously, in his mind searching for a plan that won't force him to go too far away. A whimper in the room gives him goosebumps, he wants to come upstairs to be with you, but you need medical help.

The door opens then, Daryl's heart flips at the sight of his companions, they are carrying some food to restock in the house and their faces change at the sight of him so nervous.

"Daryl, what's wrong?" asks Rick.

"Her water broke, I need Denise." He explains in a bark.

Michonne and Rick look at each other, Tara who goes with them drops the box from between her hands on the table and speeds out of the house, Carol and Michonne quickly go upstairs to help you, Daryl pretends to follow them, but Rick grabs his arm to stop him.

"It's better for us to stay here bro, it can get really weird up there."

"No, I..." He stirs nervously and lets go. "I put it there." He says feeling the tips of his ears redden. "I want to be with her."

"Okay, but try not to make her too nervous and listen to what the girls tell you." He advises him before Daryl runs off towards the stairs.

As he approaches your room he hears the commotion his friends are organizing, he hears them talking to you at the same time as they keep moving around the room. Daryl feels his heart in his ears, he is nervous and scared, the pregnancy has gone well, but what if everything falls apart now?

"God, Daryl I hate you!" you shout from the other side of the door and the hunter instinctively recoils.

"Easy, easy, take a deep breath, you're doing great." Carol's voice is heard. "Try to walk a little, you need to dilate by the time Denise gets here."

Again Daryl hesitates, what exactly is he doing up there, what exactly does he think he's going to be able to help you with? In all those months he's been by your side, watching you like a dog watching a cat, he hasn't moved an inch, he hasn't let you exert yourself any more than necessary, but now, now it's not up to him. He can't help you to make the process go faster, to make you suffer less, in that new world where medical comforts are scarce, his hands on your belly to calm the baby will no longer be of any use. He swallows hard, his fingers trembling against the wood of the door. He closes his eyes when he hears you moan again and shakes his head.

No, he's not going to put you through this by yourself.

He enters the room discovering you leaning against the window frame, panting and snaping loudly through your mouth, one of your hands clutching your belly, your knees shaking and your forehead is beading with sweat. Daryl swallows walking towards you, Carol steps aside to help Michonne, he takes his place next to you, stroking your back, taking the hand that held your belly. You look up between scared and relieved, he smiles trying to calm you down.

"I'm here, Denise is about to arrive." He assures you, his hand rubbing your back wanting to comfort you.

"It hurts so much, Daryl..." You groan, gritting your teeth. "If I don't..."

"Shut up, that's ain't gonna happen." He shushes you. "Let's walk around a bit, ya need to dilate." He doesn't even know where those words are coming from, but he feels his face burning.

"Daryl, listen to me..."

"I said no!" He barks. "Nothing is gonn happen to ya or the baby...please..." He gasps nervously, leaning his forehead against yours.

"Okay..." You whisper feeling the fear coursing through the man's body.

Nothing happens to you, as Daryl has promised you. The labor is long, painful, but you are both fine. Daryl has not left your side at any time. He has helped you through the whole process, even with Denise there, he has been your nurse, he has even dared to look under your nightgown before the doctor arrived.

Now the loud crying of your baby girl floods the whole room, you feel exhausted, physically and mentally, but the baby's wailing quickens your heart in a way you never thought possible. You've always heard about the miracle of motherhood, the bond that forms, you've never doubted it, but you certainly never thought it could be so powerful. As the tears cease to cover your vision, Daryl rocks your baby in his arms, wrapped in a clean towel, her crying has ceased a little, turning to soft babbling. The hunter walks up to you, there is a smile on his mouth and tears in his eyes as well.

"She's healthy and beautiful." He whispers as if he's afraid to scare her with his voice. You laugh and reach out your arms wanting to hold her.

Daryl sits down next to you to let the baby girl in your arms, she stirs a little, but accepts the change, the rest leave you both alone, you pull down your nightgown letting the baby feed for the first time. The archer doesn't take his eyes off every move you make.

****************

You leave the house feeling the heat hit your skin, your long dress of soft fabric relieves the suffocating feeling of summer. A smile forms on your mouth when you hear the squeaks coming from your little girl, who is playing with Dog near the garage where her father is fixing his bike for an upcoming outing.

Things haven't changed much, to your regret, Daryl is still setting boundaries with you, his love is completely invested in your daughter, but you are the woman who kept something so important from him, and he still hasn't gotten over it.

Even though Erin is already two years old.

It's been more than two years since you've had a conversation that doesn't focus on the girl's health, or related to a patrol, a changing of the guard, or the distribution of supplies. It's been over two years since you've spent time together, as a couple, over two years since Daryl decided to move into the basement of the house, leaving only to care for his daughter. He hasn't missed a single day, but you feel sadness when you think about it.

"You're leaving again?" You greet him by walking up to his position, he looks up from the bike to grunt something intelligible that can be deciphered as a 'yes'.

"I'm going out with Erin." He remarks to you matter-of-factly, adjusting a backpack on the back of the bike.

"With Erin? Where? Why?" you ask confused and worried. You know Daryl would never act behind your back, if something happened to the girl, he'd talk it over with you first.

"I'm going to Hilltop, to see Maggie and Glenn, I want Erin to meet Hershel." He shrugs.

"Daryl... How long are you going to keep this up?" you sigh not knowing how to confront him. "I already asked for your forgiveness..."

"It's not about asking, sorry." He gets up from the ground, leaving the rag on the bike. "I trusted ya, more than anyone else, more than a partner, ya know that's hard for me..."

"I didn't mean to keep it from you, I just needed to find the right way to tell you. I was afraid..."

"Ya really think I would have left ya when I found out ya were pregnant? Since when do ya think I'm that kind of person?"

"For the love... I don't think you are like that, Daryl, I never thought so, but this world is in chaos, children are vulnerable..."

"Y'know me so little?" He says with disappointment. "Yes, it's possible I would have freaked out a little and may have said things I didn't feel at the time." He bites his lip and scratches the back of his neck. "But it's ya, it was us..." You lower your head feeling your stomach clench at his words.

"I didn't mean to hurt you..."

"What would have happened if you had lost the baby?" he asks suddenly and you look at him in surprise. "You would never have told me?"

You stammer not knowing what to say, not sure what Daryl really wants to hear. He nods and walks towards you, but still keeps his distance.

"I will not destroy Erin's innocence or happiness, she is our daughter, I will protect her with my life, I will not let her lose her mother." He assures you and the lump in your throat grows heavier. "But now I can't... I need to get away..." He sighs, lowering his gaze. "I need to trust again..."

"Okay..." You whisper lowering your head, feeling your eyes fill with tears.

"I'm going to get a car ready, we'll go more comfortably the three of us." He says and dodges your body to drive away down the community street.

**************

You give him his space, you allow him that time to himself that he needs. You don't quite know if it's the right thing to do, if you should have talked, but on the other hand Daryl has already said everything he felt.

Erin is still his main concern and care. Everything Daryl does, is for the little girl, she is thrilled and you like him spoiling her too, but maybe he should check with you about some things.

"Can we talk?" You intercept him in the hallway of the house.

"I'm busy..."

"It's about Erin." You hush him and he pauses, looking at you. "I think we should set some boundaries." Daryl frowns. "I love the relationship you two have, but you can't just bring her a present every time you come back from patrol..."

"Why not?"

"Because it's becoming a habit, and she's still little, we can mold her personality, But what about the day she just waits on you for the gift you're going to bring her?" You try to talk some sense into him and Daryl grunts low, looking down at his feet.

"Erin adores you, but those gifts may end up forming a personality that we don't know how to control...plus Dog..."

"What's with the dog?"

"Nothing! But after that I think it's impossible to get over it." You smile trying to calm him down and you see his shoulders relax, nodding. "It's our daughter and I don't want to be just me being the bad guy in this... I'd like you to support me..."

"Okay..." he nods again chewing his lip.

"Okay... thanks for listening to me, I'll leave you to whatever you were doing." You wave goodbye heading for the exit again.

"Wait." He calls out to you walking towards you again. "I have some errands Rick asked me to go get." He looks at you through his locks of hair.

"Don't worry, I'll tell Erin you'll be back in the evening."

"Ya wanna come with me?"

You look at him with surprise, of everything he could possibly want to say to you, it was the thing you least expected. You stammer looking for something to say when you see him shrug.

"Carol's watching Erin, I asked her earlier to keep an eye on her."

"...Okay, let's go." You nod smiling a little, following Daryl to his bike.

This situation is not easy for him either. He knows that he himself has provoked it, that he needed some time to think, but perhaps his stubbornness has gone too far, however, every time he remembered that patrol, that he could have lost you, his blood boiled and he was not able to think properly. Erin was your bond, your bridge, what still held you together. Daryl knows that his feelings for you haven't gone away, nor will they, they have just letharged inside his heart, healing from his wounds little by little. He loved watching you take care of your little girl, how you spent sleepless nights when colic kept her awake, how you rocked her in your arms whispering songs Daryl didn't know, how you cursed, without malice, when she began to grow and started teething.

"Auh! You're just like your father." He heard you say one day when he came back from helping Rick with the Alexandria expansion. "Always with the teeth..." That was enough to stop him in his tracks, face red to the tips of his ears and give you some more privacy until Erin finished eating.

You've had the patience to put up with those years the distance he's felt you should have, the boundary he needed, now you've asked him to be a little firmer with Erin and he understands. He understands that it can be a problem in the long run and he doesn't want to spoil the girl either, it's a difficult world far from being able to have any kind of whim and he doesn't want the little girl to believe that she can get everything she asks her father for. At least not whims. By the time you've finished and accepted that he had nothing more to add, Daryl has realized that he's losing you too. That the barrier he's building is getting too high and he doesn't want that to happen.

That's why he's asked you to go with him again, he needs to find that connection that brought you together.

Daryl feels your arms around his waist as you get on the bike to leave the community. His breath catches for a second in his throat, but he disguises it as best he can.

"Are you ready?" He asks you over the noise of the engine.

"Yes, anytime." You grant him and he starts up, your hands tighten a little tighter around him and he bites his lip.

He remembers the first time you rode his bike, it may sound absurd, but it was purely for fun. In fact he found you on Merle's bike, parked in the prison yard. According to your explanation you wanted to check if it was comfortable, as the handlebars seemed too high in proportion to the rest of the vehicle. Daryl joked amused and gave you a little lesson on motorcycles.

He has to admit that when he saw you on his brother's bike, your arms stretched over the handlebars, your body settled on the seat, your legs spread and bent, your feet firmly on both sides of the vehicle, he didn't feel like yelling, to scold you for touching his stuff without his consent. He liked seeing you there, it seemed to fit you well, even though you had no idea how to drive.

"Wanna go for a ride?" he offered making you look at him with raised eyebrows.

"But I don't know how to drive..."

"I'll teach ya, step aside." He asked you pointing to the bike.

Daryl smiles remembering the surprised look on your face, how you awkwardly made room for him behind you on the bike, he settled in pointing out what everything on the bike was for, his chest pressed against your back. It was the first time you'd been so close together since the group ran out of the CDC.

"Clutch, brake, throttle and shifter." He said giving you a gentle tap on your foot. "We'll leave the gear shift for the time being, we don't need to go very fast and this way we won't attract the attention of the dead."

"Okay..." You whispered squeezing the bike's brake by instinct to keep your balance.

"Ya wanna go out and road test it?" he offered once again feeling you tremble against his body.

A lot has changed now, you still don't trust the bikes too much, Daryl knows that, but riding with him you feel safe, secure, you hug his waist like a life preserver and enjoy the ride glued to his body. Daryl missed that too, he's surprised at how easy it was to talk to you, how your relationship slowly developed and now he seems to be back to square one. He frowns tightening his fists on the handlebars of the vehicle. He's not an idiot, he's not going to lose all that because of his stubbornness, you and Erin are his family. The one he has chosen, where he belongs.

The engine slowly stops until you finally come to a complete stop, Daryl rests his feet on the ground and lets you get out first before he does the same. You stand to the side waiting for his orders, you don't know exactly where or what to look for, so you wait for him to say something. However, when he looks back up at you his arms come around you and wrap around you, pulling you tight against his body, hiding his face in your neck.

"I'm sorry..." He whispers and your eyes fill with tears, hugging him too.

"No, you don't have to apologize... I should have..."

"It's okay, that doesn't matter anymore." He breaks the hug and his thumbs brush your cheeks. "I've been too stubborn, but aib't wanna lose ya or Erin..."

"You're not going to, Daryl, that's never going to happen." You assure him and dare to move closer to kiss him.

There is a moment of hesitation, but the two of you kiss intensely. After so long sharing scant contact, that kiss overwhelms you both. You gasp, kissing hungrily, Daryl's fingers tangling in your hair and you cling tighter to his waist, pressing your bodies together until you almost melt against each other.

You had missed each other.

**

When you return to Alexandria the aura around you both is different, everyone sees it and feels it when you pass by. You've gotten everything on Rick's list, you've let off some adrenaline fighting a small group of Walkers and you've found each other again, it's been a most productive morning and now you just want to get home to your daughter.

Erin smiles and jumps out of Carol's arms when she sees you, she is still small and stumbles over her own feet but nothing stops her from reaching for your arms. You laugh lifting her off the ground to kiss her cheek, Daryl hugs you both, kissing the little girl's head.

"Let's go home." Daryl whispers in your ear, his fingers caressing Dog's head as well.

That night your bed is full again, Erin sleeps with you, cuddled in your arm, Daryl has you snuggled between his, wrapping his arms and legs around your body, one hand resting on Erin's small body, making sure she's there. Dog has made a hole for himself at the foot of the bed, though he's not allowed to sleep there. But no matter.

A night is a night.

**

The End.

***********

I hope you liked it!!

See you in the next stories!!

[punkette1026]

Baby Moon Part 3-Surprises and Arrivals

Summary:

As your baby moon comes to a close, a surprise from Joel creates huge misunderstanding threatens your entire happiness. Later on Joel finds that Ben isn't dealing well with the new baby.

Here is the finale of Baby Moon. I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions for other Joel fics. Thank!

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

Baby Moon Series

It had been a glorious baby moon so far for you and Joel. The days were filled with sightseeing, dining at the most amazing restaurants, and all the loving that you could want. Every morning or night you went to be completely satisfied in the arms of your amazing husband. His brown puppy dog eyes would stare down at you as he caressed your growing belly. You loved every minute of it.

However, this morning was completely different. Instead of his warm arms surrounding you, you were met with cold sheets and no sign of your husband anywhere. A chill came over your naked body as you got out of bed and put on a robe before going off in search of your missing husband. As you slowly crept into the living room, you could hear him talking to someone outside on the patio.

“Hey, it’s me…ya, this place is incredible. I’m so glad ya talked me into comin here. I owe ya one, that’s for sure…So how are things at home? Ya missing me yet…Well I miss ya too and I will be back before ya know it. Maybe we can get a bite to eat or something.”

Who the hell was he talking to?

“She’s still inside asleep…No, no I promise she doesn’t suspect a thing. I jus wish I would have done this a while ago…That’s what worries me. I don’t know how she will react ‘specially with the baby…Ya, ya, I’m sure you’re right. Everything will be fine. I’ll let ya know how it goes…not like she can kick me out of the hotel room right…okay, okay, ya sounds good…Miss ya too, but I’ll talk to ya later…okay bye.”

As soon as he hung up, you quickly went back to the bedroom with so many thoughts going through your mind. Who was on the other line? What weren’t you suspecting? Why would you react to the point where he would be sleeping on the couch? You didn’t know if it was pregnancy hormones or what, but something didn’t sit right in your stomach.

Hearing Joel walking towards the bedroom, you took off your robe and got back into bed pretending to still be asleep. As soon as you closed your eyes and pulled the covers over yourself, you heard the door open, and he walked in.

You could hear him sigh as he set his phone down on the dresser, then walk over to his side of the bed where he got back in next to you. You felt him shift closer as he wrapped his arms around you. You tried your hardest not to jump at his cold skin making contact with you. “Are ya still asleep darlin? It’s nearly 10:30” he asked as he peppered you with kisses.

“I’m…I’m too tired to get up right now. do you have any plans for us today?” you asked hoping he would let something slip.

“No, not really. I mean I do have some stuff to take of today before we leave, but other than that, nothin. Why don’t ya try to get some more sleep and when I get back, we can go for a walk along the beach. How does that sound?”

Again, you felt your stomach drop. What other things did he need to take care of before you left? You were pretty sure all you had to do was check out at the front counter and that’s it. This was so unlike Joel. He never kept secrets from you.

“Darlin, ya didn’t fall back asleep on me did ya?” he asked when you got quiet.

“No, I’m still awake and yeah that sounds good. Go do whatever it is you need to do, and I’ll see you later,” you sighed.

Joel, always quick to know when your mood changed, so he rolled you over to get a good look at you, “Hey, are you sure you’re okay? Talk to me darlin.”

You again wanted to tell him what you heard, but when you opened your mouth, another lie came out, “I’m fine Joel. Baby girl just kept me up all night that’s all. She is turning out to be a bit of a night owl.” You hated bringing your daughter into this, but it was the only thing you could think of at the time.

“Shit, I’m sorry darlin. Ya should have woken me up.” Joel then pulled the sheet down and moved down till he faced your belly. “Listen here little one, daddy isn’t too happy with ya right now. Ya need to let your mommy sleep, so she can help you grow until you are ready to come meet us. I shouldn’t be putting all the blame on ya though. We haven’t been exactly letting ya sleep either,” he chuckled before placing kiss on your belly. “I think you and mommy need to take a nap and daddy will be back later. Are ya sure you’ll be okay till I get back darlin?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. If I can’t fall back asleep, maybe I’ll take a hot bath to relax,” you sighed. You just wanted to close your eyes and forget what you heard and were thinking.

Joel seemed to hesitate for a moment. It was as if he was looking into your eyes to make sure that you were telling the truth and you knew that he wasn’t going to leave until he knew you were really okay. So, you played into it, you lightened your facial expression and ran your hand through his dark curls, “I’m fine baby. Go do what you need to. If I need anything, I’ll make sure to call you, I promise.”

That seemed to do the trick because he turned his head to kiss the palm of your hand before he pulled the covers back over your body. “I promise I should be back in about an hour or two. I love you darlin,” he whispered leaning down to kiss your lips.

“I love you too Joel. See you in a bit.”

Once he got up and went to the bathroom to get ready, you let out a sigh which almost turned into a sob. As much as you didn’t want to think what you were thinking, you couldn’t help fear the worst. You also didn’t know why you couldn’t just ask him what was going on. It was like there was a block between your brain and mouth and your anxiety filled brain was winning.

You knew Joel Miller was the most loyal man in the world and he would never jeopardize what you and he had. However, there was little voice in the back of your head that said otherwise. You couldn’t help but think back to the past few months and how he had been staying late at work. You remembered a conversation with your sister-in-law Maria a while ago, when you asked her how Tommy was doing with working later into the night like Joel. Maria surprised you when she said Tommy had been coming home on time like he was supposed to. Then you thought back to how nervous he had been last night and seemed on edge after he made love to you. How he kept checking and rechecking his phone instead of being in the moment with you. And now he is getting a mysterious call. It just didn’t make any sense.

There is just no way, you thought to yourself. There is no way Joel is cheating.

You laid there for what felt like hours, but it was really only twenty minutes. You tried to go back to sleep before Joel came out of the bathroom, but it was no use. Hearing the handle of the bathroom door, you quickly dried the tears from the face and snuggled deeper into the covers. You heard him quietly shuffle all throughout the room gathering up his things before he walked back over to the bed and leaned to give you a gentle sweet kiss on your lips, “Sleep well darlin. I love you.”

You waited until he not only left the room, but the entire hotel room before you moved from your spot. You let out a frustrated sigh as you sat there contemplating what to do next. Maybe a nice hot bath like you said would ease your mind and body.

Getting up and taking your phone with you, you headed to the bathroom to draw you up a nice bubble bath. As you waited for the water to fill, you sat at the tubs edge rubbing your pregnant belly, “Don’t worry baby girl. Mommy is just freaking out over nothing. I’m sure everything is just fine daddy.”

Turning off the water, you carefully lowered yourself down into the bubbles. You couldn’t help but let out a moan as the hot water felt amazing on your sore muscles. You closed your eyes and tried to relax listening to the waves outside crash against the shore. It seemed to be working as you felt yourself start to calm down. You started to think a little clearer now. You felt like you were jumping to conclusions without any solid proof. Making a big deal out of nothing. Joel would never betray you like that and risk ruining the life and family that you’ve built together. He was smarter than that.

However, that little voice of anxiety and fear reared its ugly head yet again. It told you that before you were willing to let everything go and just see what Joel had planned, you needed a second opinion. So, you picked up your phone and dialed the one person who would be able to ease your mind, Maria.

“Hey girl, how’s paradise?” she answered on the first ring.

“It’s umm…it’s paradise alright. Can’t really complain. It’s all been amazing,” you replied flatly.

“Then why does it sound like someone stole your dog? Is everything okay? Did you and Joel have a fight or something?”

At first you hesitated to tell her, but you needed her advice, “I…I don’t know Maria. It…it…it may just be my wild imagination or just hormones, but I can’t shake the feeling that Joel is doing something that he isn’t supposed to. I…I…I think he may be cheating on me.”

Maria couldn’t help but laugh at your accusation, to which you didn’t know whether to take offense or breathe a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry, but you can’t be serious. There is just no way.”

“But it is possible Maria. Why the hell would he be the only one “working late” then or why is he suddenly glued to his phone? Not to mention the phone call that I heard.”

“What phone call?”

You couldn’t help but shutter as you relived what you heard, “I don’t know who he was talking to, but he kept saying how much he missed them and wanted them to be here. He said something about him planning something and keeping me in the dark. He said that it was something that he should have done awhile ago but he is afraid of how I would react. It sounds like it’s bad enough that I’m going to make him sleep on the couch for. Has…has he talked or said anything to you or to Tommy?”

“No sweetie he hasn’t, but there is no way Joel is cheating on you. There has to be another explanation. He loves you with all his heart and he would never do anything to betray you like that. Are you sure he wasn’t talking to Sarah?”

“I thought about that too, but it didn’t sound like it. I’m telling you Maria, something is off. He has never kept secrets from me.”

As you continued to talk, on Maria’s end, Tommy had walked in from outside. She quickly waved him over and made sure her phone was on mute before so you couldn’t hear them. “What’s going on?” Tommy mouthed to her.

Maria ran her hand over her face in frustration, “We have a bit of a problem. You need to call Joel.”

“Is everything alright?”

Maria shook her head as she continued to listen you rant, “No, you need to call him now Tommy.” As her husband did what he was told, Maria got back on the phone with you, “Sweetie, sweetie, I need you to listen to me okay. Everything is going to be okay. I have faith in Joel and I’m sure all this is one big misunderstanding that we are all going to laugh about later. Where are you now?”

“I’m in the tub trying to calm down,” you cried. “Joel left a while ago, but I don’t know where he went.”

“Look, I really think you should try to enjoy your bath and relax. Talk to Joel when he gets back. That’s the only way you’ll be able to clear your head. All this unneeded stress isn’t good for the baby.” Tommy then came back into the room with his brother on the phone this time. “Listen sweetie, I need to go. Tommy just got home. I’ll talk to him and see if he has talked to Joel at all. Just try to relax for me, okay. We will get to the bottom of this.”

“I’ll try,” you sniffed still having a hard time with the situation. You did know one thing though, you needed to talk to Joel, and you were going to do that as soon as he got home.

Meanwhile, Maria had taken the phone from Tommy feeling awful for lying to her best friend, “Joel, it’s me, we have a situation. Where are you?”

“I’m at the airport walking to the arrival gate. What’s going on?” he asked nervously. He tried to get information from his brother, but Tommy was in the dark about it too. “Was there an issue with the flight?”

“As far as I know everyone got on the flight fine. Your wife however just called me practically bawling her eyes out.”

“What, why?! What the fuck happened? She was sound asleep when I left,” Joel was really starting to freak out now. He was afraid something had happened to her or the baby. It was enough to make him turn around and started walking back to the garage where he parked his rental car.

Maria, at this point, had to get up and take something for the headache that was developing. “Well, she isn’t now idiot! She heard your phone call with Tommy and now some how she thinks that you are cheating on her.”

Joel who was now running, stopped dead in his tracks, “She thinks what?”

“You heard me. She is currently in the tub thinking you would rather be there with your supposed mistress than her.”

“Why on earth would she think that? I’d rather die than stick my dick where it doesn’t belong.”

“Well besides your nonstop texting with dumbass #2 (Tommy), she knows that you have been working late on purpose.”

“Well of course I’ve been working late,” Joel shouted. “How the hell was I supposed to afford our initial trip and then all this. Ugh, this is so messed up. I went to check on her after our call and I could have sworn she was asleep. Dammit, I knew something was up with her. Why the hell didn’t she just talk to me?”

Maria just sighed, “You know how her anxiety gets and I’m sure the pregnancy hormones aren’t helping either. I know you wanted to do this grand surprise, but Joel, you need to tell her sooner rather than later. All this stress isn’t good for her or the baby.”

“I know, I know, I just really wanted to surprise her. I wanted to do one last special thing for her before the baby came,” Joel could feel his eyes start to swell up with tears. This was the last thing he thought would happen and he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty.

“You can still surprise her Joel. Just head back to the hotel as soon as you are done there and talk to her. Explain everything to her and I’m positive this will end well for you. You can still make this all work in your favor.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry you got pulled into all this. I really wish you guys were here with us too. We owe you a lot.”

“Don’t worry about it. We love you guys and as much as we would like to be there with you all, someone needs to hold this place down while you are gone. Too many projects to deal with. Now go get your girl.”

As Joel figured out what he was going to do when he got back, you had finally got out of the tub feeling somewhat better. You were still feeling a little uneasy but were going to power through and enjoy yourself before your talk with Joel.

So, you ordered yourself a gourmet breakfast from room service and took your meal outside on the patio to eat. You listened and spectated to the busy beach in front of you. Laughter of children filled the air while shouts from a nearby volleyball game peaked your interest. You kept turning your head back and forth between the two. You found yourself lingering longer on the children building a sandcastle that kept getting destroyed by the waves. Oh, how you missed your own two children and wished that they were there with you. You missed their giggles, their love, and their cuddles. As far as things went now, all you wanted was to go home and be with them again. It just wasn’t paradise without them.

Long after your breakfast and people watching, you found yourself at the water’s edge, watching the waves come in and out. You were so entranced that you didn’t hear Joel come up behind you. “Darlin, I think we need to talk.”

“Why, so you can break it to me gently? Afraid of how I’ll react?”

Joel winced at your tone. He was so screwed, “So you did hear me. I swear to you darlin, it’s not even remotely close to what you are thinking. If you just let me, explain…”

“Are you cheating on me?”

“Darlin I…”

You finally turned around to face him and your eyes were filled with anger. You decided that you weren’t going to waste anymore tears on this man. Joel could sense your anger because he took a step back as if he was afraid. “I don’t want to hear your darlin or anything else from you. Just answer the question Miller, are you cheating on me?”

“No, I ain’t cheatin on you goddammit. Stop saying that shit,” he responded equally as annoyed. “I have not and will not ever cheat on you. I’m a little hurt and pissed off that you would ever think that!”

“But I heard…”

“No, my turn to talk. What you heard was a phone call between me and Tommy,” Joel growled and stepped closer to you. You couldn’t help but feel like a child that was about to get a talking too. “I was giving him an update on what was going on here. He and Maria have been in one my surprise to you since the beginning.”

“Okay, but that still doesn’t explain…”

“Me working late? That was so I could make a little more cash so we could extend our stay here. I was doing some extra projects for some of our customers.” He stepped even closer to you and pulled you into his arms, “I promise you on my life darlin, I would never ever cheat on you. You are the only one I will ever want and need. You are it for me darlin.”

You didn’t even have to look at him to know that he was telling you the truth. You could hear it all in his voice. When you looked up at him, you could see it too. All the love that he had for you was reflected in his big brown puppy dog eyes. “Oh Joel!” you cried, throwing your arms around him. “I’m so sorry. I feel like such an idiot. I really don’t know what I was thinking.”

Joel chuckled in your embrace and held you tight, “It’s alright darlin. We’ll just chalk it up to your hormones being out of whack.”

“Sounds good to me,” you laughed releasing Joel to wipe your tears from your face, “And for the record, I’m sure that I’m going to love whatever it is that you have planned.”

You watched as his demeanor changed again as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah so about that. I was going to do it later on this evening, but I was in the middle of picking it up when Maria called. I knew I had to get back here as soon as possible, so I didn’t have time to present it like I wanted to.”

You once again felt guilty as you could tell he wanted to put everything he had into this surprise. “Oh baby, I am so, so sorry. I’m sure that I’m going to love it no matter what.”

“I know you darlin. Why don’t you turn around and look.”

You instantly grew excited yet nervous. Talking a deep breath, you slowly turned around and felt your breath get caught in your throat. Standing behind you were your parents, Ben, and Sarah. “Mommy!” Ben shouted and ran towards you as fast as his little legs could carry him.

“My baby,” you cried as you took him into your arms. “What are you guys doing here?”

“I know that this was supposed to be our baby moon, but it was a little selfish to have this place all to ourselves. Also with baby girl coming, I figured we could probably have one last family vacation before she gets here.”

You managed to pull yourself away from planting kisses all over Sarah and Ben’s faces and pulled Joel down towards you to give him a kiss of his own. “This is the best present ever baby. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet darlin. There is one more surprise left. It’s another reason why I wanted our family here.”

You watched as he slowly got down on one knee.

“Joel…”

“Darlin…baby, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now and I couldn’t think of a better place to do it. When I first proposed to you and we decided to elope instead, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad that I wasn’t able to give you the dream wedding that you deserved. You deserved to be surrounded by your family with your dad walking you down the aisle. You deserved a wedding that you could gossip about for years. So, when we decided to come here, I knew that this was the place to make all that come true. I started working late so I could afford tickets and an extra hotel room. I also bought us an extra week here for some family fun. Darlin, the love of my life, as we stand here surrounded by those we love, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife again?”

You watched with tears streaming down your face as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a ring box. When he opens it, your heart stops. It was your grandmother’s wedding ring. The ring you kept asking your mother for, but she claimed to have lost it.

“What to do say darlin? My knees are sort of killin me here.”

“Yes, yes, yes!”

You had always known Joel to have steady hands, but as he reached for your hand to put the ring on, you could see them shake. Once the ring was safely on your finger, Joel stood up and pulled you into his arms, placing a romantic kiss on your lips. You were so in the moment that you both didn’t hear the cheers and congratulations coming from your family. You never in your life dreamed of something like this happening.

“I love you darlin,” Joel sweetly whispered resting his head on yours.

“I love you too baby. Thank you for all of this. This baby moon has been the best experience of my life.”

Joel was about to tell you something, but Ben, who was tired of the love stuff, let out a big groan, “Can we go play in the water now?”

Everyone let out a chuckle as they looked down at the five-year-old. “Oh, how I missed you, bubba,” Joel smiled lifting his son up in the air. “Let daddy go get changed and then we can go play in the water.” He gave you one more kiss before he sprinted back to the room to change.

That left you to receive hugs and kisses from your parents and Sarah. It was so nice to see them again even though it had only been a few days. Once Joel came back, he took the kids into the water while you stayed behind with your parents watching your family play.

Later that evening, Joel surprised you by remarrying you under the stars. Just like he said, you had your father and mother walk you down the aisle, while Sarah served as your bride’s maid and Ben served as Joel’s best man. That night you vowed to continue loving and respecting each other. To continue raising your family with good morals and values, and to never let anything tear you apart. For you, it was the perfect fairytale wedding. You even facetimed Tommy and Maria who were planning a big party for you when you got home.

After the wedding and a nice family dinner together, you and Joel parted ways where he took you back to your hotel room and made love to you for hours. You ended up falling asleep in each other’s arms with big smiles on your faces. This certainly was the best baby moon ever.

4 months later…

It was currently four in the morning, and everyone was gathering at the hospital where you had just given birth to your baby girl. Everyone was impatiently waiting for Joel to come out and update everyone on how things went.

As the proud grandparents and aunt and uncle speculated on the baby’s height and weight, Sarah noticed Ben hanging out in the corner by himself. Being the protective big sister that she was, Sarah went over and sat next to him, “Hey buddy, what’s going on?”

Ben turned to look at her with tears in his eyes, “Do mommy and daddy still love me?”

Sarah just looked at her brother in shock, “Awe Ben, of course they still love you. Why would you say that?”

“Because they had another baby. Ryan from school said when mommies and daddies have babies, they don’t love you anymore.”

“Oh, Benny come here,” Sarah said immediately pulling her crying brother into her arms. “Just because mommy and daddy had another baby doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Look, they still love me even though they had you. I promise you that mommy and daddy will still love you just like they love the new baby.”

Sarah could see that Joel had come out and was currently informing everyone on how you were doing. She gently placed Ben back on the seat when she went to go get her dad. Ben needed to hear from Joel that he still loved him. “Hey dad, how’s mom?”

“She’s doing amazing! Baby girl is doing great too. A little on the small side, only 6 pounds, but she is doing great. You can go in and see them. We want you kids to see her first,” he smiled with joy. “Where’s bubba?”

“Hey’s over there, but dad, Benny is freaking out. A boy at school told him that you don’t love him anymore because you had another baby,” Sarah flinched knowing her dad would lose his shit.

“A boy said what?!” Joel shouted, causing everyone in the waiting room to turn and look at him.

Sarah’s cheeks grew red with embarrassment, “Dad, please don’t cause a scene. Just go talk to him. What room is mom in?”

“451, but don’t tell her about Ben alright. Let me handle this,” he then gave Sarah a big hug before sending her on her way. You were already exhausted and he didn’t want you to worry.

Inside Joel was fuming. Of course, he would never hurt a child, but as soon as he found out who the kid’s dad was, he was going to kick his ass. That would be later though. Right now, Joel knew that had to bury his anger and focus all his love and attention on his son. So just like Sarah, he went and sat down next to Ben pulling him into his lap, “Hey bubba, mommy is asking for you. Do you want to go meet your baby sister?”

“No!” Benny shouted and tried to hop off Joel’s lap. It broke Joel’s heart to see his son so upset.

“Ben stop it. Look, your sister told me that you think we don’t love you anymore. Is that true?”

“Ryan at school said…”

“Hey, hey look at me Ben,” Joel said softly as he lifted his son’s face to look up at him, “I don’t care what Ryan said. I want to know how you feel. Talk to me bubba, you don’t have to be scared.”

Ben’s eyes swelled up with tears as he pouted his little lip, “Will…will you still love the same as the new baby? You won’t forget about me?”

Joel was trying his hardest to keep himself in check. Ben almost had him in tears as well. He thought the both of you had prepared him enough for the baby’s arrival. You had one on one time with him making sure to give him all the love and attention that he needed. You had even sat down with him and explained that even though the baby may need more attention, he could come to you for snuggles and kisses whenever he wanted.

“Oh bubba, of course we aren’t going to forget about you. We love you. You are our baby boy. Our one and only son. Yes, the baby may need mommy and daddy a little bit more at times, but I promise that we are going to be there for you whenever you need it.”

“Can we still play trucks?”

“Of course, we can still play trucks. Daddy will even go buy you a new one. And you know what?”

“What?” Ben asked excitedly.

“You even get to help out with the baby too. You can help me, and mommy feed her and watch her while we make her a bottle or need to change her. She is going to need you to watch out for her Ben, just like how Sarah looks after you. Do you think you can do that? Once daddy goes back to work, he is going to need his little man to protect his mommy and sisters. Can you do that for me, bubba?”

Ben nodded and lifted his arms, showing Joel his little muscles, “Yes daddy. I’ll use my muscles like Spiderman.”

Joel couldn’t help but chuckle at his son’s cuteness, “Alright bubba you do that. Are you ready to go see mommy?”

“Yes daddy, let’s go!”

Joel then lifted his giggling son over his shoulder giving him a few tickles here and there as they made their way over to your room. He made sure though before they went in, he stopped to explain a few things to his son, “Alright bubba, we are to have to be quiet and calm now okay. Your sister might be sleeping, and mommy is really tired. Can you be a good boy for me?”

“Yes, daddy I will.” Joel loved his son so much. He couldn’t help but give him a kiss on his little head before they went into your room.

“There’s my boys,” you tiredly smiled as they walked into the room and over to the sink to wash their hands.  Both you and Sarah listened in on Joel explaining how germs were bad for the baby, so they had to make sure that their hands were always washed. Once they were done Joel brought your son over and placed Ben next to you. “Hey bubby I like your shirt.”

Ben was wearing a blue Big Brother shirt that Maria had picked out for him. “Thanks mommy. Is that my baby sister?” he asked pointing at the pink bundle in your arms.

“Yes, it is buddy. Come closer so she can see you.” With Sarah’s help, Ben moved closer to you and the baby.

“She’s so tiny! Is she gonna get bigger?”

“Of course, she will, you smiled, “One day she will be as big as you are now, but that won’t be for a while.”

“What’s her name mom?” Sarah asked, “I know you and dad were still having trouble deciding.”

Both you and Joel smiled as he took your free hand into his, “We decided to name her Gracelyn, Gracelyn Maria Miller.” You felt it was only right to name her after your best friend and her godmother.

“Can we call her Gracie?” Ben asked as he reached out to touch his sister.

“Of course, we can buddy. Do you want to hold her?”

Ben’s eyes lit up with excitement, “Yes please!”

With tears in your eyes, you handed Gracie over to Joel while Sarah helped Ben sit next to you with a pillow beside him.

“Make sure you hold on tight bubba. She is a wiggly worm,” Joel chuckled as he placed his youngest daughter into the arms of her brother. He then took out his phone and began taking pictures.

“Look mommy, I’m doing it!”

“Yes, you are buddy, good job,” you cried.

This is what life was all about. Your relationship with Joel was stronger than ever, you had three perfect healthy kids, and that’s all that really mattered. You didn’t need anything else in life, because in your eyes, your had everything you needed right in front of you.

[nightyslibrary]

(A Short Fic About) A Normal Day With Your Double Mutated Brother

☆ Fandom: rottmnt (au by @heckitall )

☆ Warnings: Nothing!! Just fluff and the boys being silly :]

☆ Word Count: 1432

☆ AO3 Link: N/A

☆ Characters: Leo, Donnie, Mikey

Uhh so I might have written something inspired by Heckl's comics and drawings :] go check his comics/artwork out!! Hope you like it (and happy birthday!!) (Also if there is any mistake... well, lets say its because it is 1 am)

 When it came to playing video games the twins would always end up getting too invested in it, which either would turn up to them fixating on the game for hours or fighting over who could beat it in “the right way”. Even when the games were two player ones, they’d still do the same thing.

 Not so surprisingly, this didn’t change even when Donnie became twice his size. Instead now the boys were sitting in Leo’s room, Leo laying his back on Donnie and playing the new the Legend of Zelda game on their switch. Donnie was watching the screen with joy, his tail wagging, and at times chirping to Leo.

 “See? I can do the puzzles quite well.” Leo said without looking away from the screen. “I had told you.”

 Donnie chirped as a response, as if making fun of Leo.

 Leo turned to him, “Just because I got stuck it doesn’t mean I am not good with them. Now let’s go back to the depths, since somebody thinks I can’t handle it.”

 The double mutated turtle smirked, making turtle sounds, before noticing something on the screen and pointing.

 “Wha- oh shi--!” He yelped as he moved with Donnie’s arms holding him, making various sounds in the meantime. As Leo turned back his attention to the game, bleeping as he continued playing it with Donnie commenting at times once again. Just like before Donnie’s situation, as if nothing had changed. Everybody in the lair would agree this was nice.

 Neither of them was sure how long had passed when Mikey entered with a smile on his face. “Are you two still playing Tears of the Kingdom?” He asked as he approached them.

 “Yep.” Leo replied.

 “It’s been five hours.” Mikey said.

 “Uh-huh.”

 “Which means nobody would say anything if I interrupted you for very important reasons.” He grinned.

 “Wrong.” Leo responded.

 “Don’t think Raphie or dad would agree.” Mikey said, knowing very well that he was right and the two would hear about how they shouldn’t sit down and play video games, forgetting to take care of themselves such as eating. Not to mention how Raph would take this to his advantage and get the switch for himself, not letting Leo play for the rest of the day.

 The slider sighed and starred at his younger brother, knowing very well that Mikey had won. He saved his game and put the switch aside. Meanwhile, Donnie huffed from behind. “Soooo tell us about whatever that is very important?” Leo asked as he got up.

 “I was thinking about how long the lair has been the same, and about how nice it would be to redecorate it.” Mikey explained.

 “You’re the artist Mike, not us.” Leo pointed out.

 “Weeeellll, I wasn’t only thinking about art. Remember the Christmas lights?”

 Leo squinted at Mikey. “You want to decorate the lair with Christmas lights.”

 “Yes!”

 “In August.”

 “Yeah!”

 “…”

 “…”

 “You’ll ignore Halloween?!” Leo gasped, a bit dramatically.

 “We can have Halloween later on!” Mikey retorted. “I just want to have some bright lights around, and maybe a few other new stuffs. A colorful lair wouldn’t hurt anyone, instead it would bring joy! Also, it is for art and creativity!”

 “So, you mean you want to,” Leo snickered, and his brothers knew what was coming. “Lighten up the mood.”

 Mikey groaned, while Donnie growled, both hating the pun. Leo giggled at his own joke, proud of it.

 “Ignoring Leo’s terrible pun for my sanity, all I am saying is it would be nice if you could help.” The youngest said.

 “Eh, sure.” Leo shrugged, not that he could say no. Donnie got on his feet too, careful to not accidentally knock anything down. He was still getting used to his new size.

 With Mikey’s lead they walked out, heading to where Mikey already had the boxes filled with Christmas lights. “We can start from here, and then move to the living room. Leo, can you get the lower parts done?”

 “Call it done already.” The slider winked as he walked towards a box.

 Mikey joined him, grabbing lights from a different box, “Donnie can you help me? I need to reach the higher parts.”

 Donnie chirped as he leaned for Mikey to climb on his shoulders, just like how he did with Raph. He carefully climbed and then patted Donnie’s shoulder to confirm he was ready. Donnie churred happily, he stood up again.

 So, they began redecorating the lair with the lights, leaving some walls empty so Mikey could draw on them. In the meantime, they chatted, talking about various things and unimportant stuff. Filling the silence with happy chatter. Mikey would talk about his next art projects, then mention something that inspirited him, Leo would ask about it, and the conversation would go on.

 It was just like every single time they spent time together, yet it was everything Donnie could ask for. The chatter of his brothers, Mikey’s unexpected ideas, Leo’s dumdum jokes… It was comforting for him.

 So, comforting that---

 CHURRR

 Leo and Mikey stopped talking, looking at Donnie with surprise and glee. Donnie confusedly looked Leo and then at Mikey. As silence was the only answer, Donnie realized what he just had done. His brothers’ exclamation confirmed his fear:

 “OH MY GOSH!!!” Mikey grinned as he jumped down to see Donnie better. “DID YOU DO THAT?!”

 “DID YOU JUST CHURR?!” Leo wheezed.

 Donnie chirped a lot, trying his best in his situation. It didn’t help that Leo kept laughing, and Mikey kept saying he sounded like a happy cat. Maybe if Donnie was his not double mutated self, he would’ve acted cooler and kept calm. But he was not and all he could do chirping. Which frustrated him even more, resulting him running out of the room.

 Leo and Mikey were quick to follow him.

 Donnie had lay under a pile of clothes, most of them being his hoodies and some of Raph’s sweaters that Raph had helped him wear (and later Donnie hadn’t let Raph get them back) in his room. His tail was visible, wagging angrily.  

 The two brothers approached carefully, not to startle him. Mikey looked at Leo, unsure what to do or say. He was feeling a bit bad for Donnie, but he still couldn’t help thinking that he behaved like a cat. Leo wasn’t feeling much different. He knew that he shouldn’t have laughed that much, while Donnie was still upset with his double this whole situation.

 Leo was first to speak, “Uh hey Dee, mind if we join you?”

 A growl.

 “Aww come on, we got something to show you.” He said cheerfully, Mikey looked at him confusedly. The slider winked at him, meaning he had a plan.

 Donnie didn’t leave the pile, but got his head out of it, enough to be able to see them. Leo grinned, and then chirped. Donnie’s eyes widened, surprised, and confused.

 “I thought you had stopped doing it and were unable to anymore.” Mikey squinted at Leo.

 “Well, maybe Donnie’s chirping has helped me figure it out, couldn’t it be?” He spoke.

 Before Mikey could say anything and tell his disbelief, Donnie chirped.

 Leo turned his attention back to him, “I have absolutely no idea what I am saying though, but- chirp!”

 “Are you sure about not knowing what you’re saying?” Mikey questioned.

 “Chiirp.” Leo smirked.

 This seemed to lift Donnie’s mood a bit though. His tail was wagging in the happy way, and he began chirping again. Mikey joined too, since he never had hidden the fact that he still could chirp. Soon the room was filled with chirping of every sort, and the snickering of Mikey and Leo among them at times when one of them made a funny sounding one.

 As the boys' conversation changed with the passing time, Leo turned to Mikey. "About the Christmas lights... you're definitely up to something." He said. "Could it be a prank against Raph?"

 "Please, I would never." Mikey responded, obviously guilty. He didn't need to say it to confirm Leo's guess when he happily stimmed the way he'd do when he was excited for something.

 "Get ready for a surprised Raph yelp, Dee." Leo looked at the clock on his phone. Then looked at Donnie. "He'd wake up any moment now."

 Donnie chirped in response, letting Leo pet his back. Something that kept Donnie relaxed, they'd discovered.

 Then they heard the surprised yelp, as Leo had guessed:

 "ITS CHRISTMAS?!"

 Leo and Donnie turned to Mikey, who was giggling. "Brumation prank," He grinned. "Never gets old."

[sol-emers]

THE HAND DIFFRENCE OMG 😭😭😭

i just want what they have- is that too much to ask????? yes I'm fully aware she dies l, but like before that THE WALKING SCENE i can't-

[amalythea]

「 sakura petals 」

⤷ info: heizou x gn!reader || fluff!! || wc: 582

⤷ warnings: playful banter, me pretending there's a cherry blossom garden in inazuma

⤷ extra: happy birthday @thexianzhoujade !! mwah mwah kisses <3

You and Heizou had planned this outing for weeks, eager to witness the cherry blossoms in full bloom. As you arrived at the garden, your eyes widened in awe at the breathtaking sight that stood before you. Rows upon rows of cherry trees stretched out, their branches adorned with delicate pink and white blossoms. The air was alive with the gentle hum of bees and the sweet scent of flowers.

Hand in hand, you  began to leisurely stroll down the winding paths, taking in the beauty all around you. Each step seemed to bring you deeper into a calm state. Heizou couldn't help but steal glances at you every now and then, marveling at how the sunlight danced in your hair and the way your eyes sparkled with joy.

As you wandered deeper into the garden, Heizou noticed the mischievous twinkle in your eyes. He knew that look well—it meant trouble, but the most delightful kind. With a knowing smirk, Heizou braced himself for whatever antics you had in stor efor him this time.

Sure enough, as you passed under a canopy of blossoms, Heizou felt a soft touch against his cheek. He turned to see you grinning as you tucked a cherry blossom behind his ear. He couldn't help but chuckle at the playful gesture.

But Heizou wasn't one to be outdone. With a sly grin, he plucked a blossom of his own and returned the favor, placing it gently behind your ear. This sparked a playful competition between you, both of you trying to outdo the other with displays of affection.

And so, amidst the sea of cherry blossoms, your laughter filled the air as you danced around each other, both of you doing your very best to win while still continuing your walk in the garden.

Heizou slyly smirked, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, "You know, these cherry blossoms are quite beautiful, but not as beautiful as you."

You chuckled, shaking your head, "Flattery won't get you out of trouble, Heizou."

But trouble is exactly what Heizou had in mind. As you passed under a particularly dense cluster of blossoms, Heizou plucked another blossom and placed it delicately behind your ear. "There, now you're even more enchanting."

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that tugs at your lips. Refusing to lose because you were flustered, you grab another blossom and tuck it into Heizou's hair with a grin. "How about now? Who's the more enchanting one?"

Heizou sighed with feigned indignation, "Oh, you've got me there, my love. But two can play at this game." With a swift move, he scooped you up in his arms and twirled you around, causing a shower of cherry blossoms to rain down around you both.

Laughter filled the air once more as you playfully chased each other through the garden, petals swirling around you like confetti.

As the sun began its descent toward the horizon, casting a warm golden hue over the cherry blossom garden, you and Heizou found themselves reluctantly bidding farewell to the enchanting scene. Your laughter had subsided into contented sighs, your playful antics now memories etched into your memories.

Hand in hand, you walked back along the winding paths, your hearts light and your spirits lifted. The gentle rustle of the breeze through the blossoms seemed to whisper secrets of love and joy, weaving a tapestry of fond memories that would linger in your minds long after you had left the garden behind.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

@amalythea 2024. | do not re-upload, copy, translate, etc. my works on any form of media.

[myfckingnameisnuwanda]

Late Night Chatting

(ORV fan comic, 18 pages one shot, joongdok)

*Gets in, dumps angst everywhere, goes away*

Fanfic: Late Night Chatting (Joongdok)

[kkcauseway]

Forever Chapter 2

Changed forever.

Chapter Summary I Life after moving isn't all it’s cracked up to be. Baby time happens much faster than expected, but your family rally round you in your moments of need. Chapter warnings/content I Tw- depictions of childbirth- premature baby 3weeks early. So much fluff. Making our beautiful Joel Miller a daddy again. Caring!Joel. Bill and Frank are the most amazing supporters. Word count I 7.6K

Next I Series masterlist I Main masterlist

In the days following your move Joel’s been busy constantly rearranging furniture to make each room to your liking. Not allowing you to do the most menial of tasks, which with you nesting and constantly looking for jobs to do around the house doesn’t help. He has to give in eventually, knowing you’re itching to keep your mind busy allowing you to get yourself ready for the impending arrival. You mostly stick to organising baby clothes into colours to wash, putting them away in specific orders and spaces which are labelled once dry, and cleaning, it keeps you happy and busy for long enough to not have Joel worrying about you hurting yourself whilst he deals with the big heavy tasks. And this is how it stays as you count down the days till babies arrival -or at least that’s how it’s supposed to be.

🍓🍓🍓🍓

When he’s occupied one morning you get to work on one of the jobs round the house you know he’d go mad at you for doing.

“Please explain to me what in the hell you’re doin?” He’s stood in the doorway staring at you, hands on his hips as you’re practically lying on the floor scrubbing away at the skirting board.

You look over your shoulder at him still scrubbing there’s no way to hide what you’ve been doing, “there’s just so much dust! I don’t want our child breathing it in!”

“Woman, get off your knees now” he moves towards you to lend you a hand getting up. You take it gladly, because as much as you don’t want to admit it, your back is hurting, and you think you’ve got a headache coming. “I can do that; you need to be relaxing there’s so many other jobs you could be doin’ that don’t take half as much strength as that.”

You laugh as he walks you to a dining table chair and forces you to sit.

“You’re gonna give me a heart attack if you’re not careful.” He strokes your cheek.

“Sorry” you’re still giggling.

He shakes his head before moving over to where you were. He groans as he gets to his knees and drops his hand into the bucket of water to grab the sponge. He looks over his shoulder at you “s’it just this one you want doin?”

You nod “yes please.”

“See baby all you gotta do is ask.”

“Yeah, but you’re busy.” You feel bad constantly getting him to do things for you even though you know he won’t mind.

“M’never too busy for you baby” he turns back, reaches for the skirting, and begins scrubbing away. His top lifts slightly as he leans and gets to work. Revealing the bottom of his lean back.

“Mmm, you look good like that Miller.”

“You checking me out?” He grumbles still scrubbing.

“Maybe” you giggle. “I mean you’re hot regardless, but watching you do housework increases that tenfold” you both begin chuckling at that. After a moment you rise, walking over to him “I’m gonna go get some water, do you want a coffee?”

He looks to you “now that’s why I love you, yes please” and the smile he gives you is so genuinely so full of love. He really is the most amazing man.

As he turns back to the task at hand you hear him mumble under his breath as you leave the room “gonna be the death of me” you can’t help but begin laughing again. You know you make him mad, but you can’t help it. You love him.

You return a few minutes later drinks in tow “your drink sir.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” he smiles as he takes the mug of black coffee from you and sipping. “Why are you drinkin’ water anyway, you hate it?” He quizzes as he pulls the mug away from his lips.

“Just got a bit of a headache starting” you shrug.

Concern laces his face; this is why you don’t like telling him when you don’t feel one hundred percent because he automatically worries “you okay?”

“I’ll be fine” you smile but he doesn’t seem convinced.

As the headache progressively gets worse you opt to take some of Frank’s homemade herbal pain relief in the hopes that’s all your body needs to finally get rid of it. You’re forever grateful for Frank’s wonderful medical mind and his need to learn, because he’s spent years investigating and learning about herbal remedies for all kinds of ailments.

When the headache doesn’t shift you decide an early night is what you need. It’s only about seven, but you make your way up to bed. Not having any dinner because you aren’t up to eating. You hope with sleep the pain will go and you’ll wake up refreshed.

After having been asleep for an hour or so Joel comes to check on you. Sitting down on the edge of the bed close to you as he begins stroking your cheek. He doesn’t miss how hot your skin feels.

His touch is enough to wake you and when he looks at how pale you look, he’s worried.

“How you feelin’?”

You groan as you open your eyes “my head hurts bad, and I feel a bit sick.”

“You want somethin’ to eat? You haven’t had any dinner that won’t help baby.”

“Maybe I don’t know.” You groan as you move to sit up in the bed “just don’t feel good.”

“I’ll go make you somethin’ just somethin’ small, but so you got some food in ya okay, anythin’ you want?”

“Yeah okay. Erm…” you begin giggling.

“What baby?” He smiles at you.

“Please don’t think I’m gross” you chuckle again “but can I have Strawberries and ketchup? Please beg Bill for some of his strawberries.”

“Can you what?” the disgusted look on his face has you cracking up.

“I’m serious, that’s what baby wants.” You shrug.

“Strawberries and”- he scoffs shaking his head “you’re crazy.”

“Nu uh, your daughter is the crazy one, she’s telling me she wants it!”

“Okay baby. Whatever my girls need” he kisses you before moving away.

He returns a small while later with some of Bill’s precious strawberries chopped up and some ketchup.

You can’t help but groan as you eat it “Jesus Joel this is good."

He chuckles watching in awe “whatever you say.”

“You should try it…” you smile wholeheartedly at him, you want him to have in on the fun.

“Baby you’re lovin' it n I’d never take food from you. Just eat.”

“Well, more fool you” you chuckle as you take another mouthful. You manage to eat it and keep it down, but it doesn’t make you feel any better. So, you think sleeping really is the only thing that will help. Joel decides to stay in bed with you, holding you close to him and that helps a lot. Just knowing he’s near is enough to calm you. He always knows exactly what to do to help.

You wake a few hours later still safe in Joel’s arms, but you don’t feel better yet. Carefully and quietly, you move out of his hold and make your way to the bathroom to splash your face with some water. Your headache is mostly gone, but the sick anxious feeling remains.

When you starts feeling super-hot again you make your way downstairs to go and sit out on the porch for a while. There’s a slight breeze out and that’s exactly what you need right now. The wind chime sings into the night quietly as you sit in the peace of the incredibly early morning; you can’t help but feel overwhelmed. And that’s when it hits you what’s wrong. You’re not ill, you’re stressed, almost overwhelmed by how calm life suddenly is. It’s like you’re actively seeking for something to be wrong because your life has never ran so smoothly. You’re just waiting for a really bad moment to happen. You can’t help the tears that begin to fall. You curl in on yourself on the bench as you will yourself to get all your emotions out.

When Joel wakes not long later and finds the bed empty, he’s immediately concerned. He searches the whole house for you eventually meeting you outside. You’re almost hysterical as he moves to sit next to you grabbing you close. He shushes you as he strokes your hair gently. “Baby what’s wrong?” He questions softly as you begin to calm down.

“Are we crazy” you laugh wetly looking to him the sadness evident in your eyes.

“Crazy” he laughs “for what?”

“For having a baby, for choosing to bring life into this world.

“No. Why would you think that darlin’?

“Well what sort of life will she have?”

He grabs your hands “we don’t know till it happens baby, but we are never gonna strive to give her any less than the world, are we?”

“Nu uh.”

“No, we won’t. She’s going to have the best life possible, so stop worrying that pretty head o’yours. Everything is gonna work out I promise baby. I know you’re worried even if you’re trying to hide it, and that’s okay havin’ a baby is a big change and it’s stressful, but we’re ready. Remember we’ve only been here three days, we’ve had three days of total calm after having to watch our backs all hours of the day for months, it’s a big change baby. It’s normal how you’re feeling.”

You are ready to have this baby. You’ve known that from before you even made it to Bill and Frank’s, but it’s scary. Knowing you’re responsible for bringing new life into the world. That’s all that weight is on your shoulders, that your body is the one that has to go through it. Thankfully, Joel is the best possible support you could ask for.

“I hope you’re right.”

“Baby I am you know I am. You’re just tired and stressed out, you need to sleep. You’ve obviously been overdoing it to keep your mind busy and you’ve been neglecting your feelings, you’re gonna make yourself sick if you keep doing that. So that stops now, okay? You need to take it easy.”

You know he’s right “okay, I will I promise.”

“Good” he cuddles you close kissing your temple “you ready to go back to bed?”

You nod.

When you wake the next morning cuddled up to Joel feeling one hundred percent again you think you must’ve seriously overdone it, mix that with how stressed you’ve been you genuinely were making yourself ill. So, you heed Joel’s advice to take it easier from this point forward.

🍓🍓🍓🍓

It’s only when you’re six nights into sleeping in your new home that there seems to be a bit of a life blip.

-

You wake with a gasp clasping at your lower stomach, breathing heavily. The painful wave slowly washes over your body, it’s baby time you can tell instantly. You’d been waking through the night with what you were thinking were back spasms but now you’re sure, they were contractions. Your heart pounds at the thought of it being too early, even if it is only a few weeks, it could be a whole lot worse, but even so, it’s early.

You’ve been nothing but surprised this whole pregnancy hasn’t been worse considering what you’ve been through and the world you live in now. Yet it’s like now that you have proper relaxation, a happy safe home, helpful people surrounding you, your baby is ready, your body is ready, you’re ready. It’s baby time…

Surrounded by the darkness of the room you reach to turn the bedside lamp on. Looking to Joel; he’s sleeping soundly next to you, unusually he hasn’t woken up in feeling you suddenly no longer in his grasp. It’s taken him a really long time to be this comfortable in his slumber. Fitful sleeps lessening more and more as time goes on, so you hate so much that you’re now going to have to wake him.

You eventually bring your legs over the side of the bed, your back to Joel as you take in a few deep breaths before trying to gain his attention.

“Babe”

…

You clasp your stomach again “Baby.”

…

With no response, mid catching your breath, you grab a pillow and throw it back at him. Catching him in the face.

“Joel!”

“Hmmm” he finally responds, instinctively reaching out an arm for you with his eyes still closed, realising the space next to him is empty, he opens his eyes. Catching his bearings on where he is, he sees you perched on the side of the bed. He shoots up scooting over to you. Wrapping his arms around your body, resting his chin on your shoulder. “What is it baby, what’s wrong?”

“I think it’s time. Fuck it’s too early” you let out a puff of air.

He jumps away from your body stunned. “Shit what... really, are you sure? Fuck we need t’wake Bill and Frank, we gotta get everything prepped!”

You can’t help but let out a small chuckle before turning to look at him whilst bringing a hand up to stroke his face, “I think so.” You sigh “the pain comes in waves and it’s bad, but fuck she’s coming too early, I mean I’ve got like what three weeks to go, that can’t be a good sign.”

“Baby, how many books have we read on this stuff, I know this is scary, but thirty-seven weeks onwards is classed as full term. You’re over thirty-seven weeks, plus most babies don’t come on their due dates! They’re either early or late, try not to worry too much about that.”

“I know but it’s still early babe,” your voice breaks “she could be inside growing for another three weeks at least. I’m scared… I just want her to be okay. I want to keep her safe.”

That’s your mantra ‘keep her safe’ and it’s fucking scary.

“Don’t be scared gorgeous girl, we are all gonna help you through this, okay? She’s gonna be fine and so are you we will get through all of this together baby, okay?”

“Okay yeah.”

“Now let me go get Bill and Frank” he kisses your shoulder before moving to jump out of bed.

“No baby I don’t- sigh- I don’t think it’s fair waking them yet, or Ellie. There’s no point doing it any earlier than we need to. If we wake them now, I guarantee we are all gonna be up for hours and it’s not gonna be fun for anyone… we’ll all end up tired and cranky. We know what to do to prepare and to help my body to get ready, we know how to help me get through the contractions, so let’s leave them for now.”

“Okay” he whispers. “So, what d’you wana do baby?”

You sigh “I don’t know I guess just see how we go. Wait it out.”

“Fuck… I can’t believe this is happenin’” he laughs stroking a palm over his face, still puffy with sleep.

“Me neither” you giggle. “Ugh, I need to stand my backs killing” you move groaning as you stand from the bed turning to face him. You grip the underneath of your bump as you sway your hips slightly from side to side, Joel looks to you flustered and sleepy. Eventually throwing his head back onto his pillow on what can only be perceived as a stressed huff. You can’t help but laugh at him “awh you’re so handsome” you smile crawling back on the bed leaning over his body to kiss him, “I’m sorry I had to wake you” you mumble against him.

A look of disgust appears as he parts his lips from yours and looks into your eyes, “did you really just apologise when you’re having our baby?”

“I guess I did” you laugh “force of habit, I don’t like it when you don’t sleep properly.”

“I know baby and I appreciate that” he reaches up to stroke your cheek, “but there’s more important things going on right now than making sure to get my eight hours” he laughs again.

“Yeah, I guess” you huff, gazing around the room briefly “it’s so quiet here, you know I forget sometimes what’s going on beyond those gates. I forget how”- you’re cut off as a pain overcomes you. “Fuck” you whisper softly sitting back on your heels rolling your hips. Joel sits up with you, reaching round to rub at your back as his other hand envelops yours allowing you to squeeze. “Just breathe baby, y’got this.”

“Mmm, it hurts” you moan.

“You’re doin’ good baby” he presses at your back as you breathe through it. Letting out a big sigh of relief when the pain is finally gone.

“Do you think a bath would help you Darlin’? I can go run y’one if you want.”

“Ooo, that might be quite nice actually. Will you stay with me when I’m in there though?”

“Course wasn’t plannin’ t’leave you anyways” he climbs out of bed with a groan not bothering to get dressed in any way, leaving you on the comfort of the bed. He turns on the water and adds some rose smelling bubble bath Frank had found especially for you. After checking the temperature of the water, the way, he used to do all those years ago for Sarah, he returns to you, grabbing your hands and helps you to stand gently. He looks into your eyes a second as you try to maintain your balance smiling before rubbing your stomach. Standing behind you, one hand on your hip, he helps you walk to the bathroom.

“You, okay?” he questions tying your hair out of the way, you lean against the sink whilst he does.

“Yeah, I’m okay” you smile looking to him through the mirror before focusing on your bump “hoping the bath will help me relax.”

“I’m sure it will baby, will work wonders, ‘specially for your back.”

“Yeah, I hope so.” You begin moaning as another contraction takes over, swaying your hips in an effort to help you through the pain as you take deep breaths. Joel now finished tying you hair presses at your back “just breathe baby, breathe.”

Once the contraction is over you stand tall and turn to look at your husband. You smile and cup either side of his face. “Honestly Joel, I’d be so lost without you” you press a kiss to his lips before pulling away yawning, “ugh it’s like half two in the morning, great time to choose to be born bubba” you poke at your bump.

“She’s keeping us on our toes.” He rests a palm onto your solid bump.

“Yeah… well I mean she could choose to keep us on our toes at a reasonable time, you know after a full night’s sleep” you jest.

Joel chuckles as he holds your arms tightly helping you to lower into the bath. You let out a soft moan as your stomach hits the water. Feeling instant relief from the warmth. When you’re settled down, Joel gently grips your chin and brings your face to look at him as he presses a long kiss to your lips, but when you don’t respond how he expects he pulls away in order to search your eyes for what’s wrong, but you’re keeping them firmly shut “what is it baby?”

You let out a wet shuddering sigh “fuck, I’m just scared her coming early means somethings wrong.”

He brings a hand to cup the side of your face and you lean into it wantonly as he kneels beside the bath “baby look at me please” he smiles at you as you finally open your eyes “does it feel like somethin’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think so, -sigh- it’s weird actually because it feels right almost, like she feels safe and wants to come.”

“See, then if it’s her time, it’s her time. She’s ready to let us meet her baby and we’re more than ready t’meet her ain’t we?”

“Yeah, we are” you whisper.

“Been waitin’ a long time f’her to make an appearance” he gently strokes your stomach in the water. “So, there’s no being scared, we’re ready for this.”

His words are so relaxing to you as you lean back allowing the warm water to cover you up to your neck. You take deep breaths as you allow your mind to wonder, imagining your little family. After an hour of relaxing between contractions, when your body begins pruning you decide to get out. Joel helps taking your hands in his as you lift one leg out and to the floor before you move to take the other out, gasping when it’s halfway out. You gaze at the floor as you stand Joel looking with you, the clear fluid with hints of red that has just left you has you both startled. “Fuck my waters” the realisation makes your heart race.

“S’okay baby, it’s good means we’re gettin’ there, just breathe, let’s get you comfortable and then I’ll clean this up, okay?”

🍓🍓🍓🍓

After dressing you in a baggy shirt and leggings he leaves you on the comfort of the bed. He quickly changes into some clothes himself before stopping off at Ellie’s room knocking on the door gently before opening it and walking in. Ellie is quick to respond sitting up, grabbing her knife, flicking it open and turning on her light.

“Jeez gonna go on a stabbin’ party?”

“Shut up” she groans sleepily, eyes squinting from the brightness of her bedside light. “You know you can’t sneak up on me like that! I did the exact same thing to Riley; I literally told you about that last week! What’s wrong, it’s the middle of the fucking night Joel?”

“Baby’s comin,’ we need you to run and wake Bill and Frank up.”

“Shit!” she hops out of bed fast, desperately searching the room for shoes and socks before turning to him quizzical look on her face “wait it’s too early, isn’t it?”

“Only a couple weeks, it’ll be fine baby girl, hurry and go get Bill and Frank, okay?”

“Yeah, I will, is she okay?”

Before he can respond you’re screaming his name, begging him to come back, he doesn’t hesitate to leave Ellie’s room finding you hunched over on yourself as you moan through a pain. “Fuck Joel, they’re getting so bad, this seems really fast!”

“It takes as long as it takes baby if she’s ready to come out, then we’re ready to get her out, v’sent Ellie to get Bill and Frank they’ll be here soon. We’re ready for her baby don’t be scared.”

“I just want her to be okay, that’s all I want. Her to be healthy, I’ll never forgive myself if she isn’t, I don’t want my body to fail her” you whimper as the pain begins to deplete; Joel holds you close.

“She will be baby, she will. Your body hasn’t failed her, it will not fail her” he kisses the top of your head.

By the time Ellie returns with Bill and Frank you and Joel have made your way into the living room where Joel is laying out some things ready. You’re pacing the length of the room sucking on your water bottle as they get into action to help.

“Guessing it’s showtime!” Frank beams

“Seems that way!” you laugh.

Frank is laying out some towels along the sofa as Bill and Joel ensure everything is organised. Your pacing stops, you place the bottle down and you rest your palms on the back of the sofa as your contraction takes full throttle, the groaning that leaves you has Frank quickly at your side pushing against your back.

Joel reassures from across the room, “remember your breathin’ baby, yeah good baby that’s good.”

You can’t believe the amount of support you have in your time of need. As your gaze searches the room whilst you breathe through the contractions you can’t help but admire how these three men before you are doing everything in their power to help make this as easy a process as possible. Everyone is running on the love you all have for this baby- it’s transformed into pure energy. Everything is so organised.

“Okay?” Frank quizzes holding your waist as you stand straight again with the pain finally gone.

“All good” you smile.

With a makeshift bed made on the sofa, waterproof protective sheets topped with blankets cover it as well as the floor, leaves there with nothing left to do but wait. Joel is at your side the whole time pushing on your back as and when you need it. Helping you to breathe through the pains. Reassuring you when it gets too much, and you need help calming back down. Helping with your random bouts of shivering- where you suddenly find you’re unable to stop your whole body from shaking, but you aren’t cold. There’s no reason for you to be cold it’s the middle of the summer. “Hey Darlin’ you cold?” You shake your head no “I- j-just can’t - stop-p shaking.” Nerves and anxiety are getting the better of you, you can feel it. Your whole body is going into a kind of fight or flight response as you sit there shaking. Joel holds you close rubbing at your side to try to coax your body to calm down. “S’okay baby, all part of getting her here that’s what you gotta focus on, gets us closer to meetin’ her.”

🍓🍓🍓🍓

Hours have now passed evidently as the light is now creeping in through the sides of the curtains and the birds have begun chirping.

“Joel, I think we should go on a walk?” you decide remembering reading about how exercise helps in practically all the books you read.

“A walk really, now y’sure?”

“Yeah fresh, July dawn air, plus exercise is meant to help you progress.”

“She’s right!” Frank adds smiling at you both “walking will work wonders.”

“Okay, if that’s what you wana do baby that’s what we’ll do.”

As it’s a warm July morning despite it being so early, there’s no need for coats, instead you just slide on your shoes and begin taking a slow walk around a small section of the town.

“You, okay?” Joel questions quietly.

You take a deep breath before replying “I’m okay, I can’t believe we’re actually doin’ this.”

“I know, it’s crazy. Wasn’t anything like this when we had Sarah, we were straight in the hospital and they looked at us like we were clueless kids, I mean we were young yes, but we knew what we were doing, well as much as the next couple… They weren’t nice to Sarah’s mom one bit, and I couldn’t wait for us to get outa there! Doin’ it like this is so much nicer, it’s real, surrounded by good people who only wana help.”

“I couldn’t imagine having this baby in the QZ, or even in a normal hospital if the world hadn’t gone to shit… I love that it’s like this. I might be in fucking agony, but I love this.” You’ve only been walking for about 15 minutes not having got too far almost constantly needing to stop as you contract. “Can we go back home now? I need to sit down.”

“You sure baby ain’t been out f’long?”

“I know but I’m feelin’ a lot of pressure I just wana sit down.”

“Pressure? Like you need to push?” He startles eyes bugging.

“No” you can’t help but chuckle as you look to him “not yet, but just there’s all this pressure in my back. It hurts more being up on my feet. I kinda thought it would help but it definitely doesn’t, I think no matter what I’m gonna be uncomfortable until she gets here now.”

“Okay. We’ll get you home baby, get you comfy again.”

You slowly walk back to the house arm in arm with Joel. He hasn’t left your side, completely ignoring his own needs to ensure you’re okay. He’s been awake for hours, just as long as you but he isn’t complaining. He’s being absolutely perfect. The sort of example of how a man should treat you and you can’t wait to tell your child this story.

Once back in the house he helps to ease you back onto the sofa. The room is empty, and so much brighter with the curtains now open. You can hear chatter coming from the kitchen. “They must be eatin’ breakfast” Joel utters as he cuddles you close.

You push off him to look him in the eye “go join them you must be starving.”

“M’not leaving you baby.”

“Joel go eat, please.”

“Sure?”

“Yes, it’s not like you starving yourself is gonna make this baby come any faster” you chuckle before gently shoving at his chest “go eat now.”

“You want anythin’?”

“No thank you, I’m good I’d definitely throw up if I ate something right now.”

“Want a drink or anythin’?” he stands but is super reluctant to leave.

“Joel, we are gonna fall out in a minute! Please goooo and look after yourself for five damn minutes, I’m okay I’ve got a massive bottle of water here” you laugh as you point.

“Okay baby, holler if you need me?”

“I promise, now go and eat!”

He jokily salutes as he walks into the kitchen disappearing behind the door.

You breathe slowly through the next few contractions swaying your body from side to side to try to alleviate some of the pain in your back. They’re agonising and there’s hardly any space between them at this point, but you’re managing it as best you can. Finding ways to cope, trying not to scream the house down (too much).

You begin to shift uncomfortably as you feel a load of sudden pressure down below, vastly different from the pressure you’ve been getting in your back. You can’t help the way your body begins to squeeze and the pain that overcomes you is absolutely excruciating. Then you feel it, that sudden agonising urge to push.

“JOEL!” You scream as tears coat your cheeks. He smashes open the kitchen door and comes running to the room. Bill, Frank, and Ellie close behind. You’re in too much pain to speak to any of them your hearts beating too quick to register what they’re asking of you. It’s the only thing you can hear, the thump of your own heart echoing through your body. You feel as Joel comes to sit next to you grabbing your hand, but your entire body is tight as the pain rips through you, and you can’t help but scream. All composure lost.

As the pain slowly begins to alleviate you hear as Frank seems to address Joel “I think it’s time.”

When you stop screaming and it turns to panting your tear-filled eyes scan the faces looking back at you. Your lip quivers as you struggle to steady your breathing.

“Okay baby?” Joel softly questions “that’s it just breathe calm yourself down.”

You nod. Looking to him through glossy eyes “I need to push” you whine.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I really need to push I can feel her coming out!”

Joel and Frank both jump, Bill seeming to be the only adult in the room who’s still composed, and Ellie just watches from the sidelines, a nervous spectator.

“Okay baby we gotta get y’leggings off.”

You nod in response as Joel kneels at your feet “want me to cover you up?”

“I don’t care just get them off so I can get her out!” you scream again pushing at the waistband of your leggings as a pain rips through you. Bill rushes to your side sitting as he gives you one of his hands to squeeze using his free hand to rub at your back.

When the leggings are off your body Joel coaxes you to move closer to the edge of the sofa so you’re in an optimal position to give birth.

Joel looks up at you as he rests his hands over your knees “Just listen to your body baby if you need to push, push.”

“I’m scared!”

“I know baby, I know, but she’s finally comin’ n’that’s what matters.”

“Exactly Flower” Frank presses a kiss to your forehead before also kneeling before you giving you one of his hands. “You squeeze onto mine and Bill’s hands as much as you need to and let’s get this baby out. I know what I’m doing so don’t worry okay?”

Joel and Frank both kneel on the floor before you watching the progress, Bill had readied towels and hot water before coming to be your personal squeeze toy. When a pain starts, you scream and push, you can’t help but cry too. Never ever having felt pain like it. You push for the ten seconds that Frank counts, stopping with a gasp as you throw your head back panting.

“Joel come up here please” you beg.

“But I thought you wanted me here; said you wanted me to catch her?”

You move your head back looking into his eyes “hold me please” as you begin crying again.

“Okay Babygirl”

He has a quick conversation with Frank before moving to sit the other side of you taking your other hand from Frank’s. You rest your head on his shoulder as he kisses your head, much preferring it this way. “You got this baby” he whispers softly. Joel acts all composed but you know deep down he’s as scared as you are and rightfully so, he doesn’t need to be down that end stressing he should be with you helping you and enjoy seeing your baby come into the world the same way you are. Frank had already said multiple times he was happy to be the sole person to help deliver, but you always liked the idea of Joel being there too. “M’right here baby, you got this m’so proud of you” he mumbles into your hair.

“Her heads coming” Frank announces as you continue to pant heavily. “Push hard with the next pain” and so you do, giving it everything you’ve got as the contraction takes over. Feeling the head coming out further you take a quick deep breath before pushing again not waiting on another pain to get it completely out. You do this until the head it fully out gasping loud as you throw your head back. You’re about to go again when Frank interrupts “Just keep panting don’t push yet” Frank demands suddenly. “What, why?” He doesn’t reply but reaches to hold the baby’s head. “Frank?” You plea whispering. You can’t see what he’s doing but can feel as his fingers move.

“S’going on Frank?!” Joel growls.

“Cords wrapped round her neck just easing it off” you watch the concentration on his face and the relief that washes over once he pulls his hands back away “okay you can push when you’re ready. Give me a nice big one okay flower gotta get the shoulders out.”

You nod taking a moment to compose yourself before pushing again, panting heavily as you feel the sweat that coats your face drip, eager for it all to be over so you can meet your beautiful baby. You know you have to push a lot harder to get the shoulders out and you’re more than ready. After three more agonising pushes, screaming loudly as you grip onto the men either side of you. “Push, push, push, that’s it she’s coming!” Frank exclaims you feel as the baby slips free, crying instantly as you gasp with relief. Frank quickly places them against your chest as you lean back against the sofa. He places a towel over the tiny body as you hold them close, tiny but loud whimpers matching yours. Joel sits back with you placing a palm to his new babies head. You can’t stop crying, he can’t stop crying, emotions way too high “she’s here, oh my god she’s here!” You cry.

“You did it baby, you did so good” Joel praises kissing your forehead his own tears forming “Oh she’s so beautiful” Joel whimpers.

“Oh my god she’s so small” you utter eyes glossy as you stroke at her back, chest still heaving from what you’ve been through.

Minutes pass in what feels like seconds and when everyone’s tears have subsided, and yes everyone does include Bill. Ellie breaks the silence “well?”

“Well, what?” Joel counters looking over his shoulder at her as she moves closer to get a look at the baby.

“You’re still saying ‘she’ does that mean it’s confirmed?”

“Oh yeah, best check huh?” Joel chuckles looking back to you.

You begin to laugh too gently easing your body forward to sit straight Joel helping you to do so. When in position you cradle your baby’s body in both palms as you bring them off your chest. They squirm slightly as they’re moved, you pull them away from your chest quickly observing the tiny body and as expected; it’s a girl…

“Beautiful little angle girl” Frank whispers stroking a finger over her tiny little hand.

“She’s gorgeous Beaut” Bill praises aside you.

You look to Frank before also flicking your eyes to Bill. “Honestly thank you both so much for this, for all of this, you two gave me life, you’ve allowed me to live out my dreams in this fucked world. I love you both so much.”

Bill moves close to your side brining you in close to his body “we love you too, always.”

“Ow” you suddenly wince. Feeling a stabbing pain down below, you’re already feeling so much going on down there, but as you feel something coming away it hurts all over again.

Frank stokes at your leg “Take it easy, sit back for me Flower gotta get the placenta out, it’s not gonna be pretty” you nod carefully leaning your body back keeping your legs spread so he can work as you admire your crying daughter as you cradle her to your chest again.

“Oh, I know honey you’ve had a busy day huh?” You stroke her back softly, laughing when she doesn’t let up her cute sobbing “yeah that’s it you tell em.” You continue to hold her close willing her to calm down and then she does. Turning the noises she makes into little coos.

“Joel look at her” you whisper as you place a kiss to the top of her head.

“She’s absolutely stunnin.’ You did so amazin’ gettin’ her out.”

You breathe a much more content sigh as you really take a moment to process what you’ve just done. Exactly what it is that your body’s been through. Your heart hurts with the amount of love you’re feeling for this tiny bundle on your chest. Frank gently clamps the cord and once white Joel has the honour of cutting it.

“Joel why don’t you clean her up, get her in a nappy and some clothes before she gets cold and starts screaming again. Best to get her comfy before then huh? We know exactly what her mamas like when she’s not happy so let’s not have her getting that loud again” Frank looks up briefly with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Frank, you love me way too much to mean that” you chuckle softly before kissing your daughter’s head.

“You know I do” he winks before looking back between your legs again to focus on the matter at hand.

Joel strokes your head gently to gain your attention “you okay if I take her baby.”

“Yeah” you mumble sadly, placing another kiss to her head before he very carefully picks her up. It makes you cry again as you watch him love his new daughter; hold her for the first time and kiss her forehead gently.

“Hi, my beautiful girl, your momma and I have waited a long time for you, and we’ve picked out the cutest little outfit for you.” He utters quietly as he walks over to the changing table. You watch it awe at his ability to parent, at how natural it all is to him. He makes conversation with her the entire time he’s paying her attention, it’s obviously in his blood that he’s meant to be a daddy. And even if it has been over thirty years since he was last a daddy to a newborn, it’s as though nothings been forgotten. Down to the most minute of details, he’s amazing.

Bill kisses your forehead whilst you wait admiring Joel work from a distance “I’m so proud of you, I really am you did amazing.”

You turn to look him in the eye as tears threaten release once more. He quickly brings his thumb to wipe the escaping tears away. “No more tears now, it’s over and a new chapter of your life is starting.”

“I just still can’t get over the fact I did it and that I got to do it here, with my whole family around me, somewhere safe, so full of love.”

“Trust me when I say we’re honoured you chose to have her here, we’ve both never been so excited for something. You gave us both so much purpose in life Beaut, I know you always say we saved you, but you saved us just as much.”

As you begin sniffling, he pulls you close to his chest, stroking your arm gently as he places another kiss to your head.

“Here she is” Joel announces returning after a few minutes with your daughter in a little pink floral baby grow. Way too big for her tiny frame. You’d picked out a blue and pink baby grow ready for when you knew what gender your gorgeous baby was.

Bill is still holding you close as Joel begins speaking “now mama, we got her all dressed up for you, but it’s a bit too big so her feet don’t go where they’re supposed to just yet, they don’t reach” he chuckles as he admires his daughter all scrunched up. Mittened hands held close to her face as she stares up at him.

“Placentas out. You wana move to lie down Flower?” Frank questions as he brings a blanket over your legs.

“No, I wana feed her first so I’ll just sit back and try that first.”

“Come on Beaut I’ll help.” Bill stands quickly helping you move into a better position propping pillows up around you so that you can feed her comfortably. He then begins helping Frank to tidy away. You quickly take your top off and Joel helps to put her back into your arms. She immediately starts fishing around for your nipple and with Joel’s help placing her in a position to take it into her mouth she latches quickly. It’s painful at first and you can’t help flinching, but you get more comfortable with every suck. Joel covers your other breast back up with a blanket, so you don’t feel as exposed and sits where Bill just was as they get to work cleaning. He doesn’t leave your side through the feed.

“I still can’t believe she’s here” you whisper stroking a finger over your daughter’s cheek as she guzzles content whilst Joel leans his head on your shoulder to be as close as he can.

“You did it baby, you did so amazin,’ and I love you so much f’giving her to me.”

“Awh” you turn to look him in the eye smiling “I love you too, so much” you lean in to kiss him, and he meets you halfway.

After about thirty minutes of feeding, an even 15 minutes on each breast she begins showing signs that she’s full. “I think she’s done baby.”

“She did good, bet she’s all nice and full now.”

You gently pull her away from your breast and Joel helps cover you back up. She scrunches her body together evidently tired. “Will you burp her I’m scared” you look to Joel.

He chuckles lightly “baby you won’t hurt her I promise.”

“But she’s so small and you’ve done it before you know what you’re doing I don’t. I don’t want to do anything wrong.” You can’t help the way your eyes begin filling with tears.

“Hey baby no, none of that” he wipes the tears from your eyes “you won’t do anythin’ wrong; you learn as you do with parenting. Trust me you can do so much preparing, so much reading, but until you do you have no idea what you’re doing. Take it from me I was young, way outa my depth, but I did it and loved every fuckin’ second just like I’m gonna again. And I’m always gonna be here to help. We will help each other we both have loads to learn. Okay?” He smiles as he reaches to take your daughter from your arms “just watch what I do okay baby, I promise you won’t hurt her.” You nod as you watch him perch your tiny daughter on his knee holding under her chin as he keeps her back straight tapping and rubbing firm but not too hard. Your daughter looks unimpressed and scrunches her face angrily as her daddy taps at her back. It doesn’t take long for her to let out a loud belch and he then brings her to his face, places a kiss to her forehead before lying her so her head sits on his shoulder.

“You’re so good with her” you stroke at your daughter’s head as he pats her bottom gently.

“You’re good with her too, a lot better than you give yourself credit for.”

“How can you know that she’s about an hour old” you chuckle.

“Trust me I know. You’re an amazing mama and m’gonna tell you every single day."

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