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lostcoves · 3 years

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ft. taishiro toyomitsu (fatgum) x gn!reader

genre: angst with a bittersweet ending

wc & warnings: 1.7k | hospitals, blood, bus crash, alcohol, drunk!(y/n)

premise: your first day in university of tokyo hospital’s emergency room is surely a day to remember.

note: my contribution to @instantnuma’s love hospital collab! i had a blast writing this piece as someone who comes from generations of medical personnel! hope you all enjoy!

university of tokyo hospital, home to some of the most renowned minds in the medical profession.

and somehow you ended up here as an intern in their emergency department.

why the emergency room of all places? couldn’t they have assigned you to pediatrics?! you loved kids! kids were cute! why did it have to be the emergency room?

you panicked easily, ironic for someone who just graduated medical school to pursue a career in medicine. at least, you weren’t a surgeon. you knew your limits.

you hovered by the nurse’s station, unsure what to do. you were supposed to meet your attending, dr. toyomitsu. yet, they were nowhere to be seen.

damnit, did my attending really flake on my first day? you thought to yourself, shuffling a bit by the nurse station.

BAM! the doors of the emergency room swung open, revealing a large blond handsome man performing cpr on the person attached to the stretcher. the paramedics wheeled the wounded in and the handsome man began shouting orders.

“kirishima, i need fifteen milligrams of morphine, stat! get me some wrap for this sucking chest wound, too!” the man commanded the room with an iron fist.

you couldn’t help but watch in all, as the handsome man treated the patient’s wound. a spiky redhead- you assumed to be kirishima- appeared behind you with morphine and wrap, securing the patient’s wound while nurses hooked the patient up to the machines.

“page the OR, amajiki. this man is gonna need major surgery,” the handsome man directed an indigo haired man. the other man- amajiki- got on the phone and informed the operating room of the patient.

you could only stand in awe, as the patient was whisked away into surgery. you slowly clapped at the heroism of the man before you, “sir, that was—”

“all in a day’s work,” he answered with a lopsided grin.

“your clothes, though..” you pointed out the man’s blood soaked shirt and pants. he shrugged it off and commented, “i’ll be changing into my scrubs anyway.”

“scrubs? you’re a doctor?” well, duh he was a doctor. why else would the medical personnel listen to him?

“yup! i’m doctor taishiro toyomitsu! but everyone calls me dr. fats!” he exclaimed, extending a hand to you.

your eyes widened at his name, “you- you’re my boss! i’m doctor (l/n), (y/n) (l/n). i just graduated form medical school.”

“ah! my new intern, great!” he was such a positive ball of energy. you just realized that he towered over you, now that he was off the stretcher. what a big fellow! he then added to you, “lemme introduce you to my residents. they’ll be here to help you out, as well.”

dr. toyomitsu gestured to the redhead and indigo haired duo from earlier, “this is doctor eijiro kirishima, second year resident, and doctor tamaki amajiki, fourth year resident.”

the redhead- kirishima- waved excitedly at you, “it’s good to meet you, dr. (l/n)! welcome to the team!”

the indigo haired man- amajiki- hung his head low, “uh huh.. good to have you on- on the team.”

“now that introductions are out of the way!” dr. toyomitsu grabbed a white coat off the coat rack, “let’s get to work, folks.”

─────────────────

you collapsed in the on call room, exhausted and sweaty from the past eleven hours of your first shift. suture after suture, panicky parent after panicky parent.. god, why did you make emergency medicine your second choice after pediatrics?

“hey,” dr. toyomitsu took a seat next to you in the on call room, “sucks that your first day was a twelve hour shift, huh?”

“i haven’t been this exhausted since last year’s finals,” you grumbled.

dr. toyomitsu laughed, “you’re funny.”

“i am?” you questioned.

“you are,” he paused, “what made you decide to choose emergency medicine as your speciality?”

“they ran out of openings for internships with pediatrics,” you replied honestly.

“okay so what made emergency medicine your second choice?” dr. toyomitsu reframed the question.

you pondered on it– you didn’t think you had a really good answer– so you decided to speak from the heart.

“emergency medicine is crucial for saving lives and i wanna save as many lives as possible,” you answered. dr. toyomistu sensed your sincerity and gave you a smile, “and i’m sure you will achieve just that but be aware.. sometimes you can’t save everyone.”

you opened your mouth to respond when dr. toyomistu’s pager went off. he checked the device and leapt to his feet, “bus crash. all hands on deck! you wanna save as many lives as possible? now it’s time for you to prove it.”

you sat up and ran after dr. toyomitsu into the emergency room, horrified by the scene before you. so many injured, some strapped to stretchers and others dragging themselves inside.

“doctor! we got a red!” a paramedic hollered to you. you rushed over to the stretcher and yelled, “what do we got?!”

“female, age seven! possible internal bleeding and multiple fractures!” the second paramedic exclaimed. you stared down at the little girl and froze. she was so small, caked in blood and her dress in ruins. god, no. she was too young, too young and innocent.

“doctor, we need to act fast!” the first paramedic shouted.

“yes!” tears stained the little girl’s dress, “get me an iv and a cocktail of vitamin k, plasma, blood, and platelets! stat!”

a trio of nurses ran over with the supplies and hooked the girl up to an iv, administering the cocktail into her body. you checked her vitals and sighed in relief, she was stable.

“we gotta find her parents, what’s her name?” you asked the paramedics.

“only form of id was on her backpack,” the second paramedic handed you the girl’s belongings. the name ‘yuki’ was sewn on with purple thread. you frowned, “get the cops and child protective services. we need to find her family.”

“i’ll do that,” one of nurses spoke up.

“thank you,” you turned your attention back to the unconscious girl. you gently stroked her fine black hair, “we’re gonna find your family, kiddo. i promise.”

─────────────────

all the living injured were treated after three hours. your heart hardened from the sight of doctors having to inform family members that their loved ones didn’t make it. but your mind kept wandering to little yuki. you had to find her family.

“any word on your kid’s missing family?” dr. toyomitsu took you aside, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. you shook your head and answered, “i’m scared that they were on the bus with her and.. and..” you sniffled, you couldn’t finish your sentence.

“come here,” you and dr. toyomitsu embraced, tears flowing freely from your (e/c) eyes. you wanted yuki to return home safe, that was all you wanted for her. you and dr. toyomitsu ended the hug, you staring up at the attending with sad eyes, “thank you.”

“of course,” he answered before checking his watch, “looks like we’re off the clock. wanna grab a drink?”

“sure, i could use one after day,” you sighed. the two of you went your separate ways to change clothes before meeting outside the hospital’s entrance. dr. toyomitsu looked good in a fresh change of clothes.

“i wanna praise you for surviving your first day on the job,” dr. toyomitsu mused aloud when you both arrived at the bar, “most interns don’t make it to hour ten, much less the whole shift. plus, the way you handled the bus crash cases, i applaud you.”

“well, don’t,” you grumbled, “i froze up when it came to yuki.”

“but she didn’t die,” he countered.

“she almost did,” you fired back with a glare.

dr. toyomitsu’s expression softened, “okay. maybe you did freeze up but what’s important is that you didn’t freeze up for too long.”

“i guess..” you waved down the bartender and ordered a rum and cola.

“you’ll have a better day tomorrow. i can already sense it,” the handsome doctor commented to you. you laughed bitterly and exhaled, “one can only hope so,” before downing your rum and cola.

“i wish- i wish i could be like you,” you hiccuped, three rum and colas in. dr. toyomitsu, on the other hand, was five drinks in and holding it well. he raised an eyebrow at you and asked, “what do you mean?”

“you.. you’re so confident and cool!” you giggled, “like a superhero! and you’re hot, sooooo hot!”

dr. toyomitsu blushed at your words but he chalked it up to you being drunk, “thank you, dr. (l/n). that makes a lot to me.”

“of course!” you playfully nudged him, “but we’re off- off the clock! call me (y/n)! okie dokie? i’m (y/n)!”

“okay, (y/n). only if you call me taishiro.”

“okayyyyy, taishirooooo!”

time seemed to fly, as you drunkenly interacted with your boss. you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or the atmosphere but you felt your inhibitions slip away. taishiro had to cut you off after drink number five, not wanting you to get sick from the alcohol.

“lemme get you a cab,” taishiro took you outside the bar and called you a cab.

“i don’t wanna leave you!” you whined.

“you’ll see me tomorrow,” he chuckled.

loopy, you grabbed onto taishiro for stability and slammed your lips sloppily against his. taishiro tensed up from the kiss and pulled away.

“i’m sorry,” you hiccuped, tears in your eyes, “i’m drunk.”

“that you are,” he agreed.

“i’m so scared for yuki.

“i know. i am, too.”

a long pause.

“i wanna kiss you again.”

another pause.

“i wanna kiss you, too.”

so the two of you kissed, logic and reason out the window. taishiro’s lips tasted like candy, oh how you loved the taste. you pulled away from the kiss for air and smiled.

“see you tomorrow.”

“see yah, (y/n).”

maybe you two could kiss again when neither of you were drunk.

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silly-is-a-cat · 2 months

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Cutely shows u my bittersweet sentence art :3

I SWEQR THEY ARNT KISSING-

Haha guys please these two idiots make me ill

#shitpost #:3 #meow #bittersweet sentence game #oki bittersweet sentence #he's there you just gotta squint #yun woo bittersweet sentence #na hun bittersweet sentence #bittersweet sentence #i love them sm #its not even funny

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bamiiib · 6 years

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Ethereal | Jung Jaehyun

Masterlist

One | Two | Three | Four | Five

The bitter air brushing against your skin, and a million stars trapped in his eyes. You look at him, as if he were the only last thing in the world that was good, because in your case—he was. It was only a matter if you were truly ready to face the fears, take his hand, and accept the new adventure that awaits.

Words: 5.1K

Category: Modern!AU, Angst, Fluff

Song Rec: Make You Feel My Love — Sleeping at Last

Warnings: Explicit Language & Drinking

A/N: omgomgomgomg... IT’S HAPPENING KIDS! I want to apologize for my weird kind of schedule when it comes to updating. Fortunately I have been able to write more than I ever have and I’m slowly getting the hang of it, in the mean time I hope you all can put up with my lack of updates :( Also this isn’t really proofread/edited, so if there are any mistakes, keep that in mind pls oki thank you ily, enjoy! ps: next chapter might get saucy, but no promises ;) also listen to the song if you want a good sob while you cry uwu

Time stood still, and everything felt as if it were put in a pause, and no one else existed in this world, but the two of you.

It was just you and him, you stared up at him, eyes filled with reminiscent memories, as if everything you had ever went through with him came flashing through your eyes.

Your heartbeat had skyrocketed, cold, clammy sweat that formed onto your palms as you wiped down your hands against your jacket.

You watched, too afraid, and too anxious to say anything, to break the strange limbo of silence you had both fallen in.

Jaehyun breathed out a short laugh, watching his dimples pop, his breath hitched as he buried his hands in the pockets of his beige trench coat, curling his lips and stared into the sky. “It’s pretty chilly out, isn’t it?” He said, as you tilted your head.

Jaehyun turned his attention back towards you, as you rocked back and forth on your heels, staring down at your feet.

The corner of your lips tugging into a faint smile, your eyes finding their way back to Jaehyun and nodded. “Yeah.” Was all you could muster up, unsure of what to say next.

Jaehyun opened his mouth to speak, yet you watched as nothing came out of his lips, as if he were choked up on what to say.

A part of him even looked… scared.

As if he were scared of how you’d react.

Cautious.

“Y/N,” You listened to him whisper your name, sending a strange rush of chills to run down your spine.

“I-I want to talk about what happened.” Your smile had faltered at his sentence, the words echoing in your ears, and taking you back to you sitting down in his car, watching your entire world fall apart, and your fears to devour you entirely.

The tears that were spilt that night, unsure if it was because of your fear of falling in love, or your fear of falling for Jaehyun.

The glint of sorrow that filled your dad’s already sad eyes as he watched you break, more than he already has seen in the past.

The words he said that had stuck to you, your throat went dry, your gaze on Jaehyun falling back to your feet. “I know.” You said, breaking the tension that was beginning to rise.

“You do? Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to rush you, or make you think that I don’t appreciate what we have now.” Jaehyun was quick to apologize, you watched his feet near yours, and as if by instinct, you took a tiny step back, head snapping towards his direction with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry…” He whispered in the cold night, watching each word that left his lips breathe out into vapor that disappeared into the starlit sky, and you couldn’t help but think of this all as bittersweet.

“Why do you always say that?” You mumbled, eyes wandering to anywhere but Jaehyun.

“Say what?” He asked, confused as his brows furrowed and your hands had tightened into fists.

“You always say sorry, for things you haven’t done. For things you can’t control…” You trembled at your words, your own body rebelling against the emotions you try to keep locked up, as angry tears had stung your eyes.

A type of anger filled with self regret and pure hatred, for yourself.

“I should be the one to apologize… I should be the one spilling endless apologies. Fuck, I’m so selfish.” Your teeth clenched, your breath hitching to a sniffle, you tried your best to choke down the tears.

You were sick of crying, sick of letting your emotions get the best of you, but how else were you supposed to feel?

What else were you supposed to do?

You were confused, and you were scared.

You just wanted this lingering pain to go away, you just wanted answers to questions you weren’t sure you even wanted answers to.

“No—Y/N, you’re not selfish.” Jaehyun had tried to ease your mind with those words. You could practically feel the pity he had blanketed over you.

Your lips quivered, shaking your head endlessly, you wanted to cry, but as much as you tried, nothing would come out.

You had felt empty.

Drained.

You were giving up.

“Yes I am… you treat me good—wonderful even. Every moment I spend with you is like some fucking princess tale, but I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you, Jaehyun… I don’t—” You choked up at your own words, your throat tangling into a knot, you didn’t know what you were saying, yet nothing was stopping you from letting these words spill from your lips.

“What I do deserve is this—this pain.” You began, vision becoming a blur from the tears you were struggling by the second to keep in.

“This pain that just won’t stop, because I’m selfish, and because I’m stupid… ” You continued to ramble, your fists trembling and your knuckles glowing white, you felt your nails dig deep into your skin, sure enough to cause you to bleed, but you didn’t care. Nothing could hurt more than the pain and suffering of emotions you were placing onto yourself.

“Y/N—” Jaehyun attempted to say, but you were quick to interrupt.

“You make me crazy Jaehyun. Why do I have to think of you everyday? Why does your smile do things to my heart? Why do you…” You asked with a shaky breath, looking up to meet his eyes.

Jaehyun watched you with wide eyes, shock filling his expressions, you looked away, and breathed out a dry laugh.

“I try and trick myself not to feel things these. I try so hard to paint you as a villain. To try and find something wrong with you, but I find nothing. Maybe I’m the villain—no. I am.” You shook your head in agreement to your own words, and something had easily felt venomous to the taste about it.

You tried to make yourself the victim to these things, because you were so used to the hurt that took over your heart, you didn’t want to think something good would come to take that pain away.

Or in this case, someone.

“You’re a good person, Jaehyun. Much more than you could ever give yourself credit for. You deserve someone better than me… someone who won’t hurt you, because secretly, they’re scared to be hurt. They’re scared to love.” You shut your eyes, and instantly remember to the painting you had created.

Remembering to your father's words.

You had chose to run.

You had chose to let fear win.

Your eyes fluttered open to look at Jaehyun, seeing the pain fill his eyes as you smiled pathetically. “I’m sorry.” You turned your back, and looked ahead at the empty streets before you.

How lonely everything looked.

How dull everything seemed.

It was just like you.

You sniffled as you choked down your tears, blinking rapidly as you stared ahead with blurred eyes, you had taken a short, hesitant step forward.

You could hear the darkness call you, the shadows welcoming you with dark, tainted hands, ready to bring you back to the familiar, lonely abyss.

Only this time, you were leaving with that familiar bittersweetness in your tongue.

“Y/N, wait!” A voice had called for you from behind, pulling you back into reality when you felt his hand wrap around your wrist.

Your shoulders tensed, but before you could react, you felt warm arms wrap around you, trapping you from going anywhere else.

“Please…” You heard him whimper as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, holding you desperately in his arms, fearing that you will go away if he were to let go.

“Don’t leave… Not again.” He whispered, and with that, a part of you had broke with his words.

“Jaehyun…” You mumbled lowly, bringing your hand towards his chest in attempts to push him away, yet only earning for Jaehyun to respond with a tighter embrace.

“No. Don’t run away. I won’t—” He choked on his words, you felt his body tremble as his voice cracked quietly. “I won’t let you leave me. I can’t… I refuse.” He shook his head, as your hands slowly began to grip onto his white shirt.

You bit the inside of your cheek, shutting your eyes in attempts to wake yourself up from this dream.

None of this had to be real.

He isn’t real.

This was all too good to be true.

You didn’t deserve his kindness.

You didn’t deserve his love.

And yet, he continues to persist, and continues to push forward.

He remained determined to take down the wall you spent years building, to bring light into the darkness in your heart.

“Why…” You whispered, your voice breaking in the process, you can feel the tears come back all over again, why was it, that whenever you had even thought of pushing Jaehyun away, it’d always break your heart?

“I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want the girl who makes me crazy, the girl who makes my heart flutter every time I think about her to leave. Because if she does…” His words trailed, you felt his hands wrapped around your waist travel up to your shoulders as he pulled you away from him so you could look into his eyes. “I might die.” He finished, and with that, you watched the tears that had began to trickle down his face, and your eyes widened at the sight.

You wanted to wipe those tears away.

You wanted to see him smile.

You wanted… him.

“I love you, Y/N… please—please love me back.” He said with a pleading tone, his eyes glossy in tears, yet you could see how hard he tried to choke them back.

You watched, studying every piece of him, scared to forget how he’d look like, even just for a second.

Your brows slanted, and it wasn’t long until the tears that threatened to spill, slowly trickled down your cheeks. “I can’t…” You whispered, looking away from Jaehyun, you felt too ashamed in yourself.

“If you don’t love me, then…” Jaehyun begun, his grip on your shoulders tightening slightly enough for you to look at him with a pain-filled glance.

“Tell me that you hate me. Tell me you never wish to see me again. Please… so I can stop feeling these things for you. Give me a reason not to love you… give me a reason, to stop feeling what I do.” He said strongly, but who was he kidding if he thought he could hide the pain that filled his words.

His hand darted towards yours, taking you by surprise with a short gasp, you didn’t have much time to react as he placed your hand against his chest, feeling his gentle heartbeat. Feeling it break.

“My heart hurts… and I’m scared it’ll break entirely. Please… stay. Please… love me.”

His words shattered your heart.

The thought of hating Jaehyun was too unbearable for you.

The thought of him wanting you to say it, so he can stop feeling for you, made it worse.

“I don’t hate you.” You whispered, looking away once more, you sniffled as your tears continued to spill.

“Then what do you feel? Please, Y/N. I want to know.” He asked, desperate for an answer as he reached back towards your shoulders.

You looked up at him, the tears growing stronger, you sobbed gently, trying your best to move away from Jaehyun, but his grip on you remained stubborn, and your feet remained rooted to the floor.

“Answer me… please.” He begged, your breath shaky, everything was falling apart.

“I love you…” The words escaped your lips, and you yourself couldn’t believe what you had said.

The girl who was impossible to love, falling in love.

How ironic.

Your tears managed to stop, and it felt as if this crushing weight that had been pushing you down for years, was suddenly lifted.

You loved him.

Ever since meeting him, you knew that feeling that took over your heart wouldn’t go away, not while he was still a part of your life.

You loved him, so much that you painted him.

His smile that’d make your heart flutter, and his laugh that’d set the butterflies to roam in your belly.

You loved him.

You loved Jaehyun… so what now?

He breathed out a laugh, but the tears were inevitable in his eyes.

Jaehyun looked scared.

Scared to do anything, scared to speak.

He wanted you to stay, more than anything, and those words that breathed through your lips was enough for him to be reassured, yet something continued to hold him back.

He brought a hand towards your cheek, removing your tears with a swipe of his thumb, his face slowly inching towards yours.

Your heart raced, but not in the way you thought it would.

Bad thoughts entered your mind.

You heard the arguments, listened to all the yelling and fighting.

You watched the love leave their eyes, you didn’t want that.

“Hey…” Jaehyun’s soft voice broke you out of your trance as you looked up at him, as tears rolled down your face.

His eyes that stared at you lovingly, carefully, his gentle grip on your cheek, as he held you close with his other arm.

You stared into his eyes, desperate to find that look your father had.

The sadness, the darkness, the absence of love.

He didn’t have that look.

Far from it.

You were so unsure, so cautious.

So…

“I’m scared.” You mumbled with a pathetic smile, your hands falling from Jaehyun and to your sides, your hands balled into tight fists.

Jaehyun bit his bottom lip, eyes roaming from your own, and down towards your lips.

He smiled, laughing dryly before nodding his head.

“Yeah… me too.”

With that, your face had softened, your tears stopped, and that pathetic smile you had painted, soon curved into one of joy.

Relief.

Love.

Your eyes fluttered closed, you felt his breath tickle against your skin, his lips that ghosted over yours, your stomach churned, littered with the butterflies that were swarming your stomach.

His hand that rested on your waist, pulling you close, and soon enough, the little gap was closed.

His lips felt warm and soft against yours, dancing in unison as he held your face gently.

Kissing him had felt like a billion fireworks went off, your heart had skyrocketed, and for once, everything that you thought was bad about love, all thrown away.

Your hands snaked up around his neck, the hand he had against your cheek falling to the one wrapped around your waist, embracing you, and remained his lips against yours.

It was passionate, yet slow.

Warm, and comforting.

It made your heart soar.

You broke the kiss, your faces remained close to each others as you stared deeply into his eyes. Jaehyun smiled, and for once, you didn’t feel scared anymore.

You sighed deeply and rested your foreheads against each other, hands falling down to meet his own, intertwining your fingers with his as you stayed like that in the silence.

Standing in the middle of an empty street on a cold winter night, listening to the wind rustle around you, and your soft, gentle breaths.

When you moved away to look at Jaehyun more clearly, his smile was just as affectionate as ever, enough for you to smile just as wide.

At that moment, you watched a tiny flake of white fall onto his shoulder, and with a raised brow, the two of you looked up at the star-filled sky, and watched as the first snowfall had begin to decorate the scene.

You listened to his laugh, earning a chuckle from you as well, you curled your lips and tasted the sweet milk and honey taste that stained Jaehyun's lips to your own.

“You know…” Jaehyun started as you looked back down at him with a hum.

“You’d expect to see this kind of stuff in the movies.” He finished, and you laughed, nodding your head. “This does look a bit cheesy.” You said with a smile, staring into the stars trapped in Jaehyun’s eyes, you felt euphoric in his grasp, and enchanted in his stare.

It was silent for a moment, and you two stood there, staring into each other.

His smile soon dropped, but the passion never ceased to die away from his eyes, as his grasp around your waist tightened.

You stared into those eyes of his, and found something new ignite in them.

You watched the sense of need, and the sense of want that filled his piercing gaze.

One in which you didn’t dare to break.

“Y/N…” He whispered huskily into your ear, earning shivers to run down your spine, and goosebumps to rise.

You swallowed the lump that formed on your throat, feeling your face instantly burn up, he could only snicker at your reaction.

“Jaehyun…” You whispered back, watching his face inch closer towards yours, feeling the familiar, violent pounds of your heart as his lips ghosted over yours.

“Be mine…” He whispered, his breath pushing against your lips, itching to just touch them, to close that gap and take him as yours.

“Okay.” You replied gently, your eyes shut close, expecting to meet his lips, but instead, listened to a door slam wide open, and a group of twenty-something year old men screaming like fourteen year old fangirls.

Your eyes snapped wide open, but you didn’t dare look to meet the teasing stares of the boys burning at the two of you.

Instead, you buried your head in Jaehyun’s chest, tucking your arms around his waist, under his coat in attempts to hide yourself even further.

You felt the vibrations of Jaehyun’s laugh against you as he brought a hand to hug you gently with both arms. “So much for privacy, huh?” Jaehyun asked, yet you could hear the annoyance buried in his chuckles.

“You’re literally standing practically in the middle of the damn street, you should be the last person to talk about ‘privacy’!” You heard Ten shout, and soon, heard the endless footsteps of the boys nearing the two of you.

You groaned, removing yourself from Jaehyun as you glared over at the boys, who could only smile innocently at you.

“Were you guys watching?!” You shouted, your face burning hot, enough for you to forget about the piercing winter breeze that blew against you.

“At first we weren’t, but I eventually found out that you left so I checked through the window if you were still here and…” Johnny stepped towards the front and shrugged innocently.

You sighed, face palming, then turning back to Jaehyun who watched you with wide, confused eyes. You opened your mouth to speak, but you didn’t know what to say anymore.

Instead, you turned back to the boys and nodded in defeat.

“Alright, whatever. Let’s just go inside now before we get fucking frostbite or something.” You crossed your arms, glaring at the boys as they nodded their heads with a snicker and all went back inside Johnny’s house.

You sighed in content, walking towards the door, only to be stopped by a gentle grip that wrapped around your wrist, pulling you to them as you crashed against their chest.

You couldn’t help but giggle, knowing all too well who it was before you could even look into their eyes.

Once you did however, you smiled to see Jaehyun stare down at you with those eyes you found so hypnotized by.

“So…” He said, his hand moving from your wrist, to your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. “So?” You asked, tilting your head in a hum.

“Date me?” He asked with a wide grin plastered onto his thin lips.

You averted your eyes away from him, as if you were stuck in thought, but when you felt his grip on your hand tighten, you laughed and pressed a quick peck on his lips.

“Sure.” You said with glee, watching as Jaehyun hummed happily, leaning towards you for another kiss, but you were quick and placed your hand in between the two of you.

“We should go inside before they try to make fun of us again...” You said, shy at first, but with a mischievous grin, you left quickly, heading inside before Jaehyun could speak.

The rest of the night seemed to go by smoothly, and for once, you didn’t feel scared of anything anymore. That crushing weight pushing down on your chest, suddenly lifted, and finally, you felt like you could actually breathe.

You weren’t suffocating in fear and darkness.

Instead, you breathed in the fresh air that came with him.

Drank the warm milk and honey that dripped from his soft, sweet lips.

All that bitterness, wiped away, and filled with nothing but the sweet.

Finally, you felt at peace. As you continued to watch movies, the boys decided to think it’d be a good idea to have some beer while watching.

Soon movies had then turned to a sudden party amongst the drunks.

You decided to sit down, and just watch all the chaos unfold in front of you.

Luckily, you weren’t by yourself.

Jaehyun sat right next to you, his arm wrapped around your shoulder, and his hand interlocked with yours. You both leaned against the seat, your head pressed against his chest, you closed your eyes and despite all the endless shouting, you wished you could stay like this forever.

It was when you heard the boys screaming in laughter, you opened your eyes to see that they were starting to play strip poker.

You rolled your eyes, deciding you had enough, and it seemed it wasn’t just you with that thought. Jaehyun got up, placing himself in front of you and offered you his hand.

“Let’s get out of here before things get worse?” He said with a playful grin.

You looked up at him, breathing out a laugh and took his hand. “I think that’s the best idea anyone has had today.” You took his hand, standing by his side and intertwined your fingers in his, taking in the warmth with a gentle smile.

You both tiptoed your way out the door, you taking one last glance at the boys as Ten took the vodka bottle and attempted to chug it, only to spit it all out right away.

You rolled your eyes and grimaced, feeling a tug from Jaehyun’s hand, your grimace then turned to a smile as you rushed out the door, shutting it right behind you.

Staring at the door in front of you, listening to the muffled shouts, you sighed in what felt like content. Relief. As if everything was finally going right in a world that you felt was full of wrongs.

When you turned around, you were instantly met with a pair of lips pressing softly against your own, earning a short gasp from you in response.

Eventually, you fell quick into the kiss, wrapping your arms around Jaehyun’s neck, as you could feel him smile in the kiss. It made your heart flutter.

You broke the kiss, resting your foreheads against each other, as your hands slid down from his neck, then resting against his chest.

You stood there in silence, listening to the wind that blew against your skin.

When you pulled away from Jaehyun, you stared into his eyes, and for a second, you were sure of it that you could find a thousand stars trapped in them.

You felt as if you were floating in his embrace, his hands that held your waist delicately, you never wanted him to let go. “Mine. All mine.” You heard him whisper, as he stared down at your lips.

Your face had instantly flushed, flashing him a drunken smile, intoxicated by everything that was him.

Mine.

Yeah.

That’s what you were.

That’s all you ever wanted to be, from the moment you first laid eyes on him.

To be his.

Only his.

You had felt free, and Jaehyun had saw, and with that freedom, he granted you endless adventure with just one take of his hand.

You hit his chest, giggling under your breath as you averted your eyes away from him, fearing that your heart will give up entirely if you looked into those eyes of his.

“So… what should we do, now that we escaped from them?” You said, tugging onto Jaehyun’s coat, pulling him closer to you with a mischievous grin.

At that moment, you hadn’t realize what you were doing.

Where this sudden confidence had come from.

Were you going too fast?

Were you giving him the wrong idea?

No.

You didn’t know what to do anymore, really.

Having him here, like this, it made you think in that short moment of silence.

You had thought back to the empty expressions when boys from your highschool would hold your hand. The dull feeling in your heart when they pressed their lips against you.

You felt numb from it.

How you’d feel nothing when they looked at you as if you were their everything.

You were so empty, so numb from it all.

You had pretended that you were happy, just so you can feel something, but the only emotion that bubbled in your heart from your highschool days, were fear.

Pain.

You only did it, so they can all stop talking.

So they can all stop thinking that they can read you like an open book.

It’s what pushed your fear, and what pushed you to stop trying anymore, to shut away that part of your life.

You didn’t want to feel that numbness anymore.

You didn’t want to feel fear suffocating you to the point where you wished to just end it all.

You didn’t want to risk putting real emotion, because you didn't want to end up like your parents. You didn’t want them to leave you, like how your mother left your father.

Or perhaps… you leaving them.

Your hands fell from Jaehyun’s coat, your smile faltering as your brows furrowed.

Were you making the right decision?

Should you have listened to your heart?

What if it’s all some trick?

What if he will hurt you?

No, he can’t.

He won’t.

Jaehyun isn’t like that… but are you?

“You okay…?” Jaehyun’s whisper had snapped you back, and when you felt his hand cup your cheek, your eyes widened as your head snapped in his direction.

The coldness that crept in your heart, gone, and filled with the warmth of his touch.

You didn’t know what to expect from this new door you had allowed yourself to have gone through.

Were you scared?

Absolutely petrified.

Did you want to back down?

A little.

So, when you looked deep into his eyes, eyes trailing down to that smile of his, decorated with dimples you fell in love with, despite that fear, and despite those doubts that filled your mind, you had felt at ease.

You wanted to take the risks.

If it meant being with him, and that was something you could no longer deny anymore.

You just wanted him.

Jaehyun.

You hadn’t realize how fast your heart was beating until you rose your hands back towards his coat, and without second thought, pulled Jaehyun and crashed your lips with his.

You weren’t sure what to think anymore, but for the first time in your life, you had decided to listen to your heart, rather than your brain for once.

And in your heart, was Jaehyun.

You kissed him with passion, eagerness, and a sense of need.

Despite the flames that ignited in your heart, the heat that radiated throughout your body, it was still chaste.

Soft.

Patient, in a strange way.

He was nothing like those boys with faces you can hardly remember.

You didn’t feel empty when you looked into his eyes full of so much passion, so much… determination.

You no longer felt scared.

Instead, you felt as if you were flying.

You felt… euphoric.

Everything had seemed unreal.

As if everything was pulled from a dream.

A dream you didn't want to wake up from.

A dream you wish you can live in forever.

Your hands roamed towards his neck, reaching over for his hair as you tugged ever so slightly, earning a small groan from Jaehyun, he was quick to pull away.

You looked at him, flushed and embarrassed, maybe you were too quick.

“I-I… sorry.” You cleared your throat, faking a quick smile and looked away, unsure what to do, what to say. You didn’t want to look at Jaehyun, despite feeling his burning stare at you.

“Don’t be.” His response earned you to look at him, shocked. Stunned.

He smiled, but this time, it didn’t seem like the usual, friendly smile that made your heart soar. Instead, it was the type of smile filled with mischief, one that was up to no good, and it made your adrenaline run.

“But maybe we shouldn’t be doing this right in front of Johnny’s house. They can still walk in on us, y’know.” Jaehyun said with a wriggle of his brows.

Your eyes widened, and when you turned your head, had realized that you guys seemed to have gone absolutely nowhere, as you can still hear the muffled shouts of the boys over the door.

You cursed under your breath, but when you heard Jaehyun’s short chuckles, had laughed alongside with him.

“Where to then?” You said with a tilt in your head, keeping your hands wrapped around Jaehyun, and his arms wrapped around you.

“I say we get in my car, drive around for a bit, and see what leads up from there.” He said with a wink, and you chuckled, nodding your head and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“Sounds good.” You said, and reached for his hand. His car wasn’t far from Johnny’s house, and soon, his Mustang had then come into sight.

Jaehyun quickly removed his hand from yours, jogging towards his car, and opened the door to the passengers side.

“Your carriage, princess.” He said with a snort. You smiled widely, and decided to quickly play into the scene. You curtsied, nodding your head when you looked back up at him.

“Why thank you good sir.” You said with a fake British accent, and climbed inside the car.

Jaehyun quickly adjusted himself in the driver's seat, and as you placed your phone in the aux cord as the usual routine, you both had went off into the night, driving into whatever adventure lies for you.

To whatever journey waited for you, and this time, you were ready.

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recentanimenews · 4 years

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Wave, Listen to Me! – 09 – The Ecstasy and Agony of the Man-Child

When Minare gets a friendly text from Mitsuo after her bear attack broadcast, her first instinct is to borrow Mizuho’s laptop so she can Google “how to buy a gun” (much tougher in Japan than the U.S.) with which to shoot him as she promised herself.

Mizuho calls for amiability, which Minare translates as “murder him socially instead via doxxing.” When Matou and Mizuho both pooh-pooh that idea, Minare agrees to a date at Mt. Moiwa…with no apparent plan in place. Her only prep involves an “aggessive” outfit and dark red lips, knowing he prefers light pink. It’s the little things!

No doubt Minare’s first question going into the date is “what gives with the sudden contact after months of nothing?” and in that regard, it’s fitting that her outfit includes a sleuthy fedora. It should be noted that Minare has possibly never looked hotter than she does here, and that’s definitely intentional. It’s provocative, yet also self-conscious.

When they first meet up, she can’t help but blush while thinking how he hasn’t changed a bit. It hasn’t been that long, Minare! He then proceed to throw her off-balance, first by paying for his cable car ticket (1700 ye/person—not cheap!), then offering up her favorite torimon, and then handing her a brown envelope containing 250,000 yen, half of what he owes her. What gives, indeed!

While pondering the possibility of becoming ensnared in an eternal limbo of debt repayment, Minare’s first word in edgewise is an accusation of infidelity by Mitsuo (she heard from a friend he was walking with another girl). That’s when Mitsuo owns up to the fact he indeed befriended a girl, but totally glosses over the particulars of that relationship and goes straight to the story of her trying to stab him.

Mitsuo is hungry and wants curry, and lets it be known by a kind of specific man-child whine that has an almost Pavlovian effect on Minare. However shlumpy this guy looks and how possibly insincere he’s acting, it’s obvious Minare had legitimate feelings for this guy, and there are parts of him that are still thoroughly disarming.

Here’s someone who planned to kill him when he became an abstract bogeyman, but now, in the reality of their reunion and his M.C.T. (Man Child Terror) field, her homicidal designs all but evaporate. Yet once she hears the details of Mitsuo’s brush with death, it doesn’t take long for Detective Koda Minare to forge a theory about the other woman’s motive: she must have also lent Mitsuo money.

There’s a constant push-and-pull going on throughout Minare and Mitsuo’s date that is both all-too-realistic and extremely fascinating. The pain of his past betrayal and her suspicion over his present motives is always on one end of the scale, rising and falling from prominence as Mitsuo works his practiced Suga charm.

Minare is happy and excited to just be on another date again, after much drinking alone, and self-commiserating, and breaking-and-entering of Oki’s place. She even considers the possibility that even a creature like Mitsuo could change for the better after nearly being offed by the latest victim of his adorkably breezy treachery.

For all his faults, Mitsuo is Minare’s type, whether he’s being “cute”, commenting on her lip color, suggesting they do one activity after the other, demonstrating growth by paying his fair share, or telling her the words “there’s no one better than you.” It must feel so good for her hear words like that from someone with whom she’s shared so much history, both good and bad.

Minare is sufficiently hungry for domestic affection that she slips easily back into the comfort and familiarity of Mitsuo’s place, even reflexively making coffee when they’ve already had a ton of it throughout the day. She also takes comfort in his very specific preferences, like what drink goes best with what food.

But when Mitsuo toasts their reunion and “reconciliation”, Minare’s dormant rage re-surfaces, vowing to keep her heart shut tight until the full amount is paid back. He assures her he borrowed it to be a co-signer for a friend’s debt and always meant to pay her back.

Having presented himself as a Good Guy who helps people in need, Mitsuo’s head finds Minare’s thighs, which he admits he’s missed dearly. Minare, in turn, fishes out the ear pick she left there which is so beloved she gave it a name—Onikirimaru!—and proceeds to clean Mitsuo’s ears “for her own sake and pleasure!”

Since it’s been a while since they’ve done this, she’s elated to find a “gold rush” in there. How adorably disgusting! Not to mention intimate. And despite having planned to kill him only yesterday, she still falls for his upside-down face as he once again points out his preference in lip color, and Minare removes the deep red with a tissue.

It is here, where Minare realizes how Mitsuo’s Man-Child nature seemingly encourages her to take the lead while in reality making her the subservient one. It’s a shtick he probably does without even thinking. But the spell is immediately broken when she spots a strange bit of trash when tossing her tissue.

After a sip of coffee, Mitsuo references the “coffee kiss” they’d often do another lovely detail that speaks to the specific intimacy of these two people. Minare leans down for a kiss, but stops mere inches from his lips. Suddenly, she’s Detective Koda again, she has Mitsuo in the box, and he’s not getting out until she’s heard the truth from his un-coffee-kissed lips.

He admits he lost the 500k at the tracks, but came into the 250k after helping out the relative of a rich oil executive (again implying his charitable good-guy nature). Minare admonishes him for his get-rich-quick nature, urging him to live more frugally by, for instance, learning to cook.

It’s a lure the Man-Child can’t resist; he assures her everything will be fine; why should he cook when there’s so many good, cheap restaurants? Quite literally taking matters into her own thighs, Detective Koda locks Mitsuo’s face in a leg-lock and shows him the suspicious piece of trash: a free magazine full of recipes with a single dried bell pepper seed stuck to the cover.

It’s evidence not just that someone interested in cooking was in the room, but made Mitsuo’s favorite stir-fry recipe, indicating an intimacy with the other woman he had been concealing from her. No need for a judge or jury; in Minare’s eyes, Mr. Suga is guilty. His sentence is what must be some kind of professional wrestling throw that drives his head hard into the floor.

No longer under the influence of Mitsuo’s smile after seeing him lie once more while wearing it, Detective Koda puts her fedora back on and tells him she’ll forgive the remaining half of the money she lent him. It’s preferable to letting him to betray yet another woman to pay him back.

While she harbored abstractly (and ultimately impossible) murderous designs prior to their reunion, this Minare is wiser and more level-headed in her condemnation and handing down of punishment. Mitsuo may be glad to be off the hook for the 250k, but if he was being honest when he said there’s “no one better” than Minare, her refusing to take him back is harsh punishment indeed.

This episode was a thrilling, layered, ultimately bittersweet tour-de-force depicting the games played, battles fought, and lies told behind easy smiles and flirtations of two people. You really get the feeling Minare would prefer being in a happy loving relationship with Mitsuo, but she just can’t trust the bastard, and there’s no indication he’ll ever stop fucking up and lying about it.

As Minare enjoys a decisive moral and tactical victory, the episode doesn’t overlook the bitter tragedy of that. If she’s the hard-boiled private dick in an old noir crime novel, Mitsuo is the “homme fatale”. In the end, her loyalty to the truth and her solidarity with women prevailed.

By: sesameacrylic

#Anime #News #RABUJOI – An Anime Blog

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