#black ppl love being black I can’t speak for the fragility of others who don’t feel comfortable in their own skin and would jump at the

[tariah23]

Crying at the video of that dude going around asking poc and black folks if they could change their race, what would it be and every nb in that video we’re saying “white,” because of privilege with their whole chest, albeit, a little bit ashamed, while EVERY black person looked at the dude like he was crazy and was like “NO!? What the hell are you even talking about?” Like….. yeah, of course.

Also… Right

[isoldmysoultojonahclemence]

hello! I was wondering if u could make a summary of all the suitors' flaws n how Jonah would react to them

I would be more than happy to!

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

Ray: his main flaw is his willingness to trust others that are close to him. That doesn’t really sound like a flaw, but in Seth’s route, even though he knew that there was a spy, he still refused to believe that his one of his friends could’ve betrayed him. That’s super nice of him as a friend, but I feel like Jonah wouldn’t consider it as a good trait for a King.

Sirius: he has the physical inability to express his feelings properly. Like, in his own route, he barely ever said “I love you” to MC, and I feel like he’s trying really hard to fit into the “mature and stoic guy” category. Jonah kinda struggles with the same things (can’t talk about feelings + tries to be cool), but I don’t think he’d appreciate them in someone else. 

Luka: he’s unwilling to change his own perceptions. For example, in his own route, one of the big things he struggle with is feeling unimportant because ppl don’t need him. That’s not actually true, bc he’s the Jack of Spades now and an entire territory is depending on him, but he’s so stuck in his own idea of himself that he can’t even see it in another way until MC comes along. He also applies this to Jonah, and strongly believes that Jonah abandoned him when Jonah was training to become Queen. I don’t know if Jonah will understand why Luka acts likes this, but he’s always going to be sad when his beloved little brother detests him.

Fenrir: he’s way too obsessed with fights. Look, I know that his description is “a battle-crazy gun maniac” and he uses magically modified guns and he doesn’t mean any harm by liking to fight bc he’s a super active guy, it’s still kinda unsettling (also bc I can’t actually think of any other character flaws bc Fenrir is a good boi). Jonah would definitely find this behavior untasteful, especially since Fenrir also comes from a good family.

Seth: probably how manipulative he is. In his own route, his mission is to “seduce” MC into joining the Magic Tower (remind you of anyone else???), and he succeeds in making MC fall in love, like, 10 parts in. He also fell in love with MC along the way, but he lured her with his body XDD. Jonah probably disapproves of some of his methods, but he can’t complain too much because he kinda did the same thing.

Lancelot: he’s too self-sacrificing for his own good. I mean, when Amon became a threat, instead of telling everyone else about it, he chooses to shoulder the burden himself. I can understand that he’s trying to spare those that he cares about, but he should know that the others aren’t exactly weak and fragile. Jonah would be super frustrated by this (like in part 23 of his own route), and he’ll try to help his King in whatever way he can.

Edgar: his shadiness oof. Like, at first you think that he can be trusted, and then you think that he can’t, but in the end you find out you actually can. He’s like an inverted oreo: white on the outside, black on the inside, but actually still white deep down inside. Being the honest person he is, Jonah probably struggled with Edgar’s personality at first. But they’ve known each other since they were children so Jonah probably got used to it over time.

Zero: you know what? After mulling over this for ages, I can’t actually think of any of Zero’s flaws. He’s literally the goodest boi in Ikerev.  

Kyle: his insensitivity to others’ emotions. He cannot read the atmosphere most times and he’s also one of the most emotionally clumsy people in the game (afsdfdf he’s adorable). However, Jonah is the type of person who needs to be handled with care, since he’s not the most emotionally able person ever. It would’ve definitely rubbed Jonah the wrong way at first, but just like how it was with Edgar, Jonah probably got used to it over time.

Harr: his unfrienliness probably. He’s literally the nicest person once you get to know him, but the emphasis is on once you get to know him. Unfortunately, not a lot of people have that privilege, and this is even before he became the infamous Joker. He’s just naturally introverted and aloof. Actually, pre-Joker!Harr reminded me of Jonah, because they’re equally tsundere and bad with expressing their feelings. Apparently Harr and Jonah didn’t get along great tho, so maybe Jonah doesn’t like to see his own personality reflected in others.

Loki: he’s a bit too clingy and has a tiny bit of yandere-ish tendencies (though I wouldn’t consider him as a yandere). Jonah would understand the clinginess to those he cares about (he’s the cling of hearts for a reason guys), and he could probably understand Loki’s desire to hold on tightly to people that are important to him.

Blanc: he’s a jerk because he’s only giving us glimpses of his backstory without any clarification and it makes me want to tear my hair out. Jonah is gonna march up to Cybird HQ and demand a route for Blanc.

Oliver: in Ikerev TW, one of his descriptions was “毒舌” and it literally means “poisonous tongue,” which describes Oliver pretty well. I get that some people are pretty attracted by his quick wit, but generally speaking, insulting someone every other sentence isn’t exactly a good habit to have. But like, just imagine Oliver and Jonah getting into an argument. Idek who’s gonna win.

NOTE: I don't really know that much about the next three suitors (Mousse, Dean, and Dalim), so I'll have to make my best guess about their flaws. If their route comes out (goodness knows when that'll be), I'll come back and see if I've got anything wrong!

Mousse: definitely his sleepiness and tendency to fall asleep in places other than his bedroom. I totally understand the desire to sleep all day every day, but I can see why it’d be super annoying. At any rate, Jonah certainly seems to think so, since he abhors laziness and Mousse is pretty much the epitome of laziness (unless it comes down to the things that he like, and then he turns super energetic).

Dean: his cruel and unusual ways of punishment that’s referenced many times throughout the series??? I don’t know much about him tbh (sorry to all the Dean stans!!!). Jonah has never complained about it (or even mentioned Dean at all), but he must’ve been Jonah’s teacher during some point in the Ikerev universe, especially considering that Jonah and Harr were in the same grade and Dean makes an appearance in Harr’s Class Companions event route.

Dalim: probably that he’s overly-dedicated to those he’s loyal to. Dalim knows that Amon is not a good person and what he’s doing is very wrong, but he still does Amon’s bidding because he is a firm believer in Amon supremacy. However, he has tried to save Cradle on multiple occasions, so I guess that makes up for it. In fact, I think that Jonah would actually appreciate this flaw, because he’s just as dedicated to Lancelot as Dalim is to Amon, and they both tried to intervene when they believed that their King/Lord was up to something bad.

THIS FOLLOWING PART IS FROM @theboredhawk!!!

You could also say that one of Dean's more obvious flaws is that he's very blunt. While he's a smooth talker when it's convenient for him, more often than not he doesn't sugar coat his words when he's pointing out other people's flaws.He says it like it is. This might lead to Jonah being offended on more than one occasion. On the other hand, i don't think Jonah likes Dalim's debauchery. He might think that he fools around too much. He might've chastised him at some point, but gave up when he saw that he wasn't listening. Dalim is hard to tame. There were a few times when he didn't listen to Amon's orders and he also did that thing at the end of Ray's ttlg route which proved that he's not as loyal to his lord as he seems.

BONUS:

Jonah: Jonah literally stated himself that he knows how reckless and stubborn he is, but he doesn’t have any intentions of changing that. And I just. That’s actually such a strong thing to do??? He legit accepts himself as he is without trying to change anything about the way he is. Self-acceptance level 10/10.

[whorefordazai]

rai this is my first time asking for a match up from anyone ever and im low key excited and kind of scared that it’s coming from you

pronouns: she/her & would prefer a match up with a bsd boy but it’s up to you !!

zodiac (bc im also a bit of a zodiac whore🤪): sagittarius

appearance: long straight black hair, brown eyes with glasses and im tiny (4’11.1” i will push that .1 (˃̣̣̥^˂̣̣̥`) )

hobbies/talents: i love to read, write & doodle, i play tennis, and do drama (mainly being a part of stage crew)

likes: strawberries, anything to do w/ books & reading, flowers, stars, clothes (esp. dresses and skirts hehe), stationary & art supplies, to smile and laugh

dislikes: the heat, being alone while surrounded by strangers, spoiled and rude ppl, ppl who are racist, xenophobic etc., getting tired, being forgotten/overlooked

love language: hahah at this point i don’t know (.﹒︠₋﹒︡.)

personality: im a bit shy, but i can be a lot of fun, i have a bit of anxiety, im touch starved and crave physical affection but im too scared to ask for it, and im constantly in the mindset of “fuck it” and “oh god why did i do that”

fav color: pink !

date ideas ?? : im okay w/ anything as long as i can relax and be w/ my partner, it isn’t too tiring, and isn’t too fancy bc i get nervous

ANDBFK SORRY IF THIS IS TOO LONG ILY💗

I match you with...

Nakajima Atsushi! ´ˎ˗

👾 let’s get into 😏—atsushi is also a bit touch starved BUTT he is an amazing hugger, if not the best hugger in bsd. one of his arms will circle around your waist while the other behind your neck, pulling you close to his chest. HE SMELLS GOOD OKAY⁉️ he just smells pure, like soft soap. it is quite refreshing. he’ll probably be a little shy to touch you first—but mostly because he doesn’t wanna scare you away. but once he feels comfortable, he won’t stop clinging to you.

👾 he’ll never fail to make you laugh—whether it’s intentional or unintentional, him simply being there will put a smile on your face. he doesn’t quite understand why you always look so happy when you’re with him (give him a break, he doesn’t get how amazing he is😭). holding hands‼️that’s his way of comforting the both of you—whether you’re in a crowded place or just alone, your hands will always be intertwined together.

👾 he makes sure to never forget you—tbh you’re on his mind 24/7. there won’t be a moment where he doesn’t think “will y/n like this?” or “I can’t wait to see y/n today.” he’ll ask you to teach him how to play tennis (and he will fail🙂) but nonetheless, he loves seeing how passionate you are about playing it.

👾 as for dates—anything goes 🤪 cuz this man is shit at planning. he’ll definitely try to do something sweet for you, because he assumes that what all women like. but once he realizes that you’re just happy being with him—he’ll be super relieved. just imagine the two do you in his dorm, light music is playing while you’re doodling and he’s trying to trim his bangs. speaking of bangs, he’ll definitely ask you to help trim his bangs cuz he can’t handle scissors🤭

SONGS ´ˎ˗

- radio | lana del ray

- claudia | finneas

- juliet | cave town

- yellow | coldplay

- fragile | kygo, labrinth

MESSY LAYOUT ´ˎ˗

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

I'm ftm (pre everything) and am in choir but I also want to sing and maybe pursue it later but if I go on hormones then I'm afraid I won’t be able to. Advice?

Lee says:

I like singing, how will T affect my voice?

We can’t tell you what will happen to your voice- people tend to be able to sing well (once their voice is done changing!) if they could sing well before, but there are instances of people losing their singing voices.

We’ve anecdotally heard of some people on T being able to keep their high notes, but it’s much more likely that you lose your high notes as your vocal cords thicken. 

T will most likely deepen your voice so your range will change, but as long as you continue to practice and don’t overwork your voice into notes you cannot reach anymore your singing voice probably will be okay- different, but okay.

But we can’t guarantee this, and it’s your decision whether testosterone and passing/being comfortable in your body are worth the risks of losing your singing voice for you.

This post has a bit more on singing

The Changing Female-To-Male (FTM) Voice

The Changing Female-To-Male (FTM) Voice Pedagogical Notes 

Testosterone And The Trans Male Singing Voice

Training the Transgender Singer: Finding the Voice Inside

Followers, any examples of trans singers on T for us to add? Or any personal experiences to add on?Followers, any personal experiences to add?

Followers say:

aeolianchemistry said: have a lot to say about this! i may not be the most coherent bc im half asleep lol, but anyone feel free to message me about this anytime and ask for more details!,

this was my biggest Thing when i was deciding to pursue hrt. ive been in various choirs for years, and its a very Important part of my life. but also my voice was my #1 source of dysphoria, and the #1 thing i needed to change. i searched for weeks to find anything about what to expect from hrt as a singer, esp bc ive heard stories of trans ppl losing their siging voice entirely. i was terrified, and couldnt find resources to shed any significant light on the topic.

and so, in no particular order bc im half asleep, here are some things to expect and things that i’ve experienced so far (almost six months on hrt):

- practice while your voice is dropping! feel it out every step of the way. get to know your voice while it’s changing, and try to maintain those high notes. i didnt do a v good job of this and my high range kinda just shriveled up. i cant be sure that it wouldve been hugely different if id practiced more, but ive heard it does help

- yoir voice will feel different. unfamiliar at times. you wont be using it the same way youre used to. technique will change, placement will change

- my speaking voice shifted downward after just a month or two (i had mild hyperandrogynism before, so this wont be as quick for everyone), before my singing voice did. i didn’t start getting new low range until later, but within my pre-t vocal range, my voice just sat a bit lower than it used to. my low alto filled out more. than i started getting new notes, slowly

- there will be periods of time where it cracks or breaks or is unreliable. dont push it, but dont despair either. keep practicing as well as you can

- my voice is somewhat fragile. if i yell (which i can only somewhat do currently) or push it or force it thru cracks/breaks/weak spots, it will get tired easily and take quite a while to recover. be nice to your voice. dont push high notes if they cause strain. dont push the low notes either, even tho im sure youre excited about them

- your voice will be weak while it’s shifting. this can cause frustration and anxiety. i’m two months into my choir season singing w two and a half choirs, and i’m dealing w lots of Complicated Feelings bc my voice just cant do all the things i want it to. i cant project much, and i certainly dont have the strength (yet) to audition for any of the solos i’d like to. Patience

- the Weird Spots and the Weak Spots will continue to shift around. i have this one area in the middle of my range (currently its about Ab3-B3, but a few weeks ago it was B3-C4) where its weird and weak and its kind of like a break in register but also a bit like a black hole, bc i Cannot Project there and theres no good placement for singing those notes, and notes in the vicinity of those are also Weird but Less So. it’s slowly sliding downwards, and i am learning to navigate it better. i’m hoping it will settle and go away soon, but we’ll see

- breath support is v important. as mentioned, your voice may be quite fragile, and putting strain on it could cause it to glitch out on you for a while. supporting your voice w lots of breath will put less demand on your vocal chords

- NEVER SING IN A BINDER or compressive garment. you need those lungs!

- you’re going to miss out on some of the nostalgic singalongs of old choir songs, bc you no longer have the range to sing your old parts. this is possibly the #1 consequence of transitioning that im the most sad about lol

- i have a very weird quality to my high range rn. it seems to be caught midway between the head voice it used to be and future falsetto or whatever it’s moving toward. for now its just Strange to listen to

the current state of my voice is this:

low range is down to almost the bottom of the bass clef. i can sing down to Bb2, A2 on a good day.

from there up to F3ish is quite comfy and possibly the strongest part of my singing voice, but i do find that if i spend too much time down there it can strain the rest of my range (i used to have this problem before too: if i sang in my low alto range too much or too enthusiastically, my sop range would get tired).

from G3-C4, it’s Awkward. the Awkwardness shifts around, and some parts of it can be more comfy than others sometimes, but it’s all v inconsistent. i cant project much here, and placement is veryvery Weird.

D4-F4ish is typically comfy but has a bit of that Strange quality to it. these notes are a bit floaty, but not bad.

G4-B4 are unreliable. somedays i can get up there. some days it’ll blink out or crack or break or just Not Be There. i am predicting that once my high range settles into a proper falsetto, i’ll be able to work on this range more and it’ll have less of that Strange quality to it, but only time will tell

again, apologies for being Scattered, it’s 1am and ive had a long day. any of yall are welcome to message me for more details ☺

there is a lot of weirdness and weakness and Awkward in the transition period. but while i’m frustrated at times, i’m not worried. everything i’m dealing w is temporary. now i can’t be 100% sure how my voice will settle or when, but i’m not afraid i’ve lost it forever. as far as i’ve heard, the stories of trans ppl who lose their singing voice on t are very rare cases. youre going to go through weeks or months where singing is Weird in constantly shifting ways, but itll keep on moving and developing, and personally i’m so excited to see where it goes.

i’m currently singing tenor2 in my choirs, and occasionally i get to take a trip down and sing baritone. im not even 6months in! that has transformed my choir experience to be even better than before, even w all the awkwardness. it was so weird and beginning to get verg uncomfy to be in a place like choir, which is so important to me, which i love dearly, which has had a significant impact on my life, but which revolved around the use of my one most dysphoric feature. but now i don’t have to worry about that. now i can sing the parts i’ve been wanting to sing for years.

i do occasionally miss some of my old voice. i miss soaring soprano lines, i miss all the old alto parts in songs i used to know. i miss the confidence and strength of a familiar, complete voice. and im allowed to miss those, i dont feel bad about having that longing or sadness, bc i have zero regrets. i also occasionally miss playing with and styling my super long hair, but in five years i have not once regretted cutting it all off. i own those memories and that nostalgia, but i keep moving forward to new and better things

pinesboi said: If you keep working at your voice and take lessons to make sure you never let it get out of practice, everything should be okay. I’m on T now about 3-4 months, and I’m still singing high tenor musical theatre

[otakurandomness]

ah kay refined a draft bit, i showed it to my writing class and a lot of ppl really liked it xD

i was so surprised they did and it was the first time i showed something i worked hard on, and a lot of ppl like it, it was a great feeling, and i was kind embarrassed and couldnt stop smiling all day lol xD anyway here it is if anyone wants to read it 

Do you hear voices? Do you hear them whisper? Like me? No? I wonder... Hey, tell me... what makes for a great story? Does one need be a genius to make a masterpiece? Do masterpieces need to be hanged upon a wall? Do walls need to be built to separate space? Space… I wonder...Space…Us...It all starts to make sense...doesn’t it? Ah you’ll understand won’t you, in time you’ll understand, you’re still reading after all, right? I only ask that you read carefully, you might just miss something.

♛|♙♟|♕

“Hannah? Hannah Rodriguez?” I hear a woman calling my name. “Yes?” “You’re assigned to John Mcallen, here’s his file, he’s in room 715, up the elevator down the left corridor.” I smile and joke “Thank you, I’ll try not to get to lost.” She hands me the file and asks “Ah, new here?” “Kinda, I’ve been working mostly in the PTSD and Substance abuse sections in the left ward, I haven’t worked here yet, I just got transferred.” She looks at me, pauses to think for a moment and says “Well, it’ll take some getting used to...schizophrenia can be very unpredictable, and very different than what you’ve dealt with so far, I’m sure you’ll find your way around though, we all do.” I nod, start to turn and walk toward the elevator “I understand, and thanks again, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

I go up to the 7th floor, and take that left, I can’t help but notice how different this building looks compared to the other one, it’s a lot older since it been around since the 1880s and with it’s new remodeling, it strangely looks home like. I walk down the hall skimming his file, I see the words, Temperamental; Unpredictable; prone to repeated active episodes. The numbers 715 finally come up, I try to prepare the best I can, shake out the nerves and start to knock.

“Mr.Mcallen? I’m Hannah, I’ll be your new nurse, would it be okay if I come in?”

Some sounds of frantic shuffling, of moving things about are heard within the room and after a short while, a man with a panicked yet polite tone in his voice, finally replies “Ah yes Hannah Rodriguez,  yes, yes, come in, come in, please make yourself at home.”

I used my staff key to unlock the door, and step slowly in the room, so to not startle him “Hi, Mr. Mcallen, I hope we can get along, I’ll be here if you ever need anything”

“Yes, t-thank you” He says softly while fidgeting, moving his head about and rubbing his hands together. Looking at him, he seems about 50 with his mostly gray but occasional black strands of hair and a long salt and pepper beard; he seems as tall as me, but he’s hunching and his head keeps looking down. I look at his file again, words that caught my eye were Hears voices, Obstructed sense of reality, and Episodes triggered by delusions of “The End”  perplexed I ask him “Hey do you mind if we talk for a bit? So we can get to know each other.”

“Oh, no, no, no, I-I don’t mind, I already know so much about you, it’s only fair.” he say  while elaborately gesturing me to a chair next to the tv.

“Oh, have they told you about me before I came?” “They who?” he asks, eyes widen “Which they?” I worry he’ll get upset if I push any farther, so I try to change the subject “So, it says here-” “Ms. Rodriquez? It’s time to distribute the medication, could you come help?” It’s the woman from before, “Yeah, I’ll be right there. Okay we’ll talk some other time Mr. Mcallen”

♛|♙♟|♕

Do you know what is real? I don’t. I’ve been told nothing is. The voices...I wonder...What is one’s destiny? Does destiny mean fate? Is all things predetermined? Predetermined to be as they are, even if all is not real? Tell me are stories real? Do you believe in stories? Are you still reading? Listen, there are voices here, if there are none there then...I wonder...what makes for a great story? One, another could believe? Or one, another could never determine? Are you still reading? Still following along? Good, I hope you enjoy, here’s the next part.

♛|♙♟|♕

“Hey, Hannah do you hears voices?” John asks me while looking out the window lost in thought. I pause for a moment from folding clothes and sheets. “Sometimes, just my own though, sometimes all talking at once, it happens when I get overwhelmed and can’t think straight.”

“What do they say?” John asks “All kinds of things, my worries, my dreams, my fears, that of kind thing.” He looks, staring off mindlessly, solemnly, almost in a trance. “How about you, John?, do you hear voices?”

“Yes, yes, I do...” he answers as he puts his hand over the glass, tracing the rains drops on the window

“What do they say?” There’s a long silence where only the ambiance of rain and thunder conversate.

“They talk about The End. They talk about how it’s almost time. They said you coming, meant The End.” His tone being so calm and matter-of-fact, it took me aback. His posture and speech being so uncharacteristically composed, gave me for some reason a slight feeling of dread, for some reason I believe him.

On break I search through his file again. I find out that he was a physics professor at Yale; His symptoms didn’t show until he was in his early 40s...that’s uncommon, for males, usually the illness manifests in their early 20’s, I’m sure though that doesn’t mean anything. I read more thoroughly this time and come across the section where his therapist leaves notes.

A year go: Delusions of hearing other people's thoughts; 6 months ago: Has a fragile perception of the world, and in turn believe it will End, 2 months ago: Hallucinations becoming more frequent, has become more nervous and paranoid. I don’t understand...maybe I need to talk to him again, that’s the only way to know what he truly meant.

♛|♙♟|♕

I walk in the next day, I think about what he said; I don't know why but it shook me, what’s the end? Why does me coming here...mean the end? There must be at it’s core a truth within those delusions, some kind of logic it to it… there must be.

Knock Knock “Morning John, mind if I come in to chat for a bit?”

He looks at me with clarity and says “You’ve come to know the truth, haven’t you?” I lost my footing and balance for a bit, perplexed I stumble over my words. “I-I…”

“You can tell too right? You can feel the end.You may not hear it but you can feel it. I know that feeling”

I don't know what to say, so I say nothing, I listen to him speak. “Your Hannah Rodriguez, you’re 26, your favorite color is gold, you broke your leg playing volleyball in the middle school, your parents were hard workers, they were poor but they loved you and did everything they could to make sure you went to college. They died two years ago.”

“How….” I whispered holding back tears..how did he know all that..

“Hannah, I’m sorry but I think it’s time for The End soon….We...were never really real to begin with...aint that right?”

♛|♙♟|♕

What makes for a great story? A great author? A great character? How do you know what is real? How do you know if what you are and what you do is all predetermined...I wonder...what will happen to me now...after this end...where do you go after this? Where do you we all go? An After life? To a new Once upon a time?I don’t know...I wonder...was it worth reading? Did you read it all the way through? Hope you did, I hope you got through it to The End. Goodbye and until next time reader, incase you choose to read it again, you might need too I bet this one was a confusing one wasn’t it?

By Breana S.

[streetwisehercules]

NOT a ghost AU

streetwisehercules:

     So

     Inspired by the sexiest haunted hotel thing you sent me I have had an idea

@hereticgods:

     Yeeess

streetwisehercules:

     Ok so

     This is not a ghost au really so keep that in mind as I send you a barrage of texts

     AU where viktor is a minor television celebrity and ghost enthusiast who stars in a television show similar to ghost adventures with Chris/yurio/mila/maybe georgi

     Except instead of trying to start fights with the ghosts (which is pretty much all they do on ghost adventures), viktor gets really into researching them - they go to local libraries and government record houses, talk to locals about Ghost Stories and Town History etc

hereticgods:

     Ok awesome so far

streetwisehercules:

     And then after they've researched they kind of go into the haunted location and set up all their equipment and just sort of chat with the ghost

     It's like the Bob Ross of ghost shows

     Every episode you watch warms your heart because you learn a story of a town, always told with a great deal of care

     (But viktor is also RIDICULOUS on the show - like he absolutely believes in ghosts. He buys every piece of ghost memorabilia EVER. He will detail filming to go see a street tarot reader and ooh and ahh over the reading)

     So chris at one point makes a Joke. It is meant to be light hearted, but viktor is Extra about the things he loves and he LOVES the occult, so.

hereticgods:

     Omg ok

streetwisehercules:

     The joke is: "If you love ghosts so much, why don't you sleep with one?"

hereticgods:

     Gasp

streetwisehercules:

     Now viktor is like "well we can't really film that but i do have a vacation coming up so thanks for the great idea!!"

     (I can't decide if they have got Definite Proof that ghosts exist before - maybe not even on camera, but have they seen like a full bodied ghost? Unsure!)

     So viktor goes to Japan for his vacation and stays at the Haunted Hasetsu Onsen (as it is affectionately known on small online ghost forums)

     Apparently it is Quite Old and some say there is a full bodied ghost lurking around! If viktor is going to sleep with a ghost it shan't be a mere will-o-the-wisp or orb! Only the best!

hereticgods:

     Omg

     Is yuuri a ghost?? Noo

streetwisehercules:

     It is worth noting that all reports of this "ghost" come from foreigners and tourists. No local has corroborated this story, but the few of them who are from Hasetsu and on the ghost forums tend to laugh

     REMEMBER! It's not a ghost au. This is important

     So anyways viktor goes to the onsen and like, he's on vacation but he's a workaholic and so he pretty much starts talking to everyone about the history of Hasetsu and the Onsen, etc.

     Maybe one night while returning from an evening stroll he sees a distant, vague figure dancing in the onsen gardens. It disappears as soon as he gets close

     But the dancing could only be described as OTHERWORLDLY! Viktor is on the right track

     He can't check any records or anything and his interviews are a bit shoddy bc he doesn't speak Japanese btw

hereticgods:

     Oh viktor

streetwisehercules:

     Anyways one night he is up drinking with Minako chatting and he goes to bed late, and in the hallway he sees a figure!!! Skulking gracefully! He seems to stare right through viktor, as if seeing another world!! His eyes are ethereal, glittering in the moonlight!!! His skin gilded in silver!

     He bumps into viktor and mutters "excuse me"!! This is the first time viktor meets the ghost

     He camps out in the hallway CASUALLY at the same time the next night and sees him again! In the same outfit! So obviously a ghost - and besides viktor has never seen a living person with such an elusive magnetic quality to their aura, with such beautiful eyes. Must be a ghost.

     Anyways they actually get to talking and the ghost is very shy! As most ghosts are! Viktor is surprised and delighted to find that he ghost is solid to the touch, and also that when viktor touches his arm he blushes beautiful and viktors face warms as well.

     Viktor only sees him late at night, and he seems very fragile around the edges, almost tired. Probably from keeping up a physical form!

hereticgods:

     Oh my god

     Viktor !!!

streetwisehercules:

     "You seem tired," Viktor says.

"It's worth it to see you, Viktor" the ghost, Yuuri, says.

"Please," Viktor chokes out, face burning, "call me Vitya."

     Anyways viktor sees yuuri dance (ethereal), learns he was taught by minako, and has a conversation with minako in which minako is under the impression that viktor is not an idiot, and viktor is under the impression that yuuri is a ghost.

     Minako gives him a narrow look. "The last time," she says, "that Yuuri's heart was broken, he disappeared for a month. [classic ghost, viktor thinks] So if he gives you his heart, I expect you to take care of it."

Yes, viktor thinks. Yes I would do nothing less. I will hold his heart and keep it close to my chest and they can beat together forever.

     And then eventually they kiss and viktor is OVER THE MOON!!!

     UNTIL

     he realizes that he is fucking falling for a ghost who can never leave the place he died.

hereticgods:

     Oh my god

     Wow

     How could viktor be so dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     Love the convo with minako

streetwisehercules:

     Anyways eventually viktor stops beating around the bush and is like "I can't take your heart yuuri because I have to leave and you couldn't follow and it would kill me, too."

Yuuri: i could come with you, you know. Maybe not right away, we could do the long distance thing for a bit.

Viktor: OH YUURI, how can you follow me when you're DEAD?

(This would sound like a threat except that viktor is lying on his bed like a fainted Victorian lady wearing an 'ECTOPLASM ROCKS' tshirt)

Yuuri: what the fuck are you talking about

     Yeah I'm realizing in writing this that he is super dumb. That's ok because it's a comedy and not heavy angst

     Anyways they have a talk about what an Idiot Viktor is, and viktor probably bursts into tears and yuuri is like "are you upset you didn't get to sleep with a ghost?" And viktors like "n-no im just so HAPPY!!!!"

     (Yuuri is gone most of the day dancing/idk what else, and he's just shy with guests and foreigners and keeps to his room and the family quarters btw)

     Viktor thought that yuuri wouldn't let him in his room bc it wasn't really his room but a storage closet or something and the gig would be up, but in fact the reason that he didn't is because he has a giant poster of viktor’s show, with viktor shirtless in a fringed black leather vest on his wall

     And then they live happily ever after

hereticgods:

     Omg my god

     Wow

     That's adorable?!!!

     Viktor is really dumb tho

     But it's ok bc yuuri loves him

     I love that yuuri has a giant poster of him

     So why the rumors about the onsen being haunted?

streetwisehercules:

     Well it all started when yuuri came home covered in glow paint from a dance show

     And then it spiraled from there. And like I said he avoids the non-local guests and sometimes he gets so nervous that he just ignores them if they say "hi" or something

     Which then attracted more Ghost Hunters type ppl, who interpret everything as a Sign of Ghost

     In viktors defense they have a LOT of convos that could be taken either way

     Timeline is probably about a month

     Viktor leaves and cries on the plane and wants to call yuuri as soon as he lands but doesn't want to be clingy, but then yuuri texts him like "I know you're probably super busy, but could you text/call me when you land? I miss you." And viktor DIES

hereticgods:

     Awwwwwww

     💗💗

streetwisehercules:

     They flirt with ghost innuendos and send each other lots of good luck charms

     When they move in together their place is full of like....spooky goth/tourist occult things

hereticgods:

     That's adorable

     Yuuri is a big ghost fan too right?

streetwisehercules:

     Yes!

     Viktor takes him along on shoots and yuuri LOVES IT SO MUCH

     they go to dates on ghost tours!

     And hold hands and ooh and ahh when one of them gets a picture of an orb

hereticgods:

     I love it

streetwisehercules:

     I wanna say yuuri is a dancer? And viktor is a huge fan of his as well

     Maybe a hobbyist dancer? Like he taught classes in hasetsu

     And he ends up mostly working on the show with viktor and teaching/taking some classes on the side

     He has a show and he does it to like a song about ghosts and dresses up a bit as a ghost and viktor records it and you can hear him crying in the background

hereticgods:

     Oh my god

     This is really cute

     I feel like you're projecting a little bit

streetwisehercules:

     OK WOW

     Call me out like this!!!!

     As I sit in bed watching lip swatch videos! I thought I was safe! From this kind of attack!!

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

I like singing, how will T affect my voice?

We can’t tell you what will happen to your voice- people tend to be able to sing well (once their voice is done changing!) if they could sing well before, but there are instances of people losing their singing voices.

We’ve anecdotally heard of some people on T being able to keep their high notes, but it’s much more likely that you lose your high notes as your vocal cords thicken. 

T will most likely deepen your voice so your range will change, but as long as you continue to practice and don’t overwork your voice into notes you cannot reach anymore your singing voice probably will be okay- different, but okay.

But we can’t guarantee this, and it’s your decision whether testosterone and passing/being comfortable in your body are worth the risks of losing your singing voice for you.

This post has a bit more on singing

The Changing Female-To-Male (FTM) Voice

The Changing Female-To-Male (FTM) Voice Pedagogical Notes 

Testosterone And The Trans Male Singing Voice

Training the Transgender Singer: Finding the Voice Inside

Followers, any examples of trans singers on T for us to add? Or any personal experiences to add on?

Followers say:

aeolianchemistry said: have a lot to say about this! i may not be the most coherent bc im half asleep lol, but anyone feel free to message me about this anytime and ask for more details!,

this was my biggest Thing when i was deciding to pursue hrt. ive been in various choirs for years, and its a very Important part of my life. but also my voice was my #1 source of dysphoria, and the #1 thing i needed to change. i searched for weeks to find anything about what to expect from hrt as a singer, esp bc ive heard stories of trans ppl losing their siging voice entirely. i was terrified, and couldnt find resources to shed any significant light on the topic.

and so, in no particular order bc im half asleep, here are some things to expect and things that i’ve experienced so far (almost six months on hrt):

- practice while your voice is dropping! feel it out every step of the way. get to know your voice while it’s changing, and try to maintain those high notes. i didnt do a v good job of this and my high range kinda just shriveled up. i cant be sure that it wouldve been hugely different if id practiced more, but ive heard it does help

- yoir voice will feel different. unfamiliar at times. you wont be using it the same way youre used to. technique will change, placement will change

- my speaking voice shifted downward after just a month or two (i had mild hyperandrogynism before, so this wont be as quick for everyone), before my singing voice did. i didn’t start getting new low range until later, but within my pre-t vocal range, my voice just sat a bit lower than it used to. my low alto filled out more. than i started getting new notes, slowly

- there will be periods of time where it cracks or breaks or is unreliable. dont push it, but dont despair either. keep practicing as well as you can

- my voice is somewhat fragile. if i yell (which i can only somewhat do currently) or push it or force it thru cracks/breaks/weak spots, it will get tired easily and take quite a while to recover. be nice to your voice. dont push high notes if they cause strain. dont push the low notes either, even tho im sure youre excited about them

- your voice will be weak while it’s shifting. this can cause frustration and anxiety. i’m two months into my choir season singing w two and a half choirs, and i’m dealing w lots of Complicated Feelings bc my voice just cant do all the things i want it to. i cant project much, and i certainly dont have the strength (yet) to audition for any of the solos i’d like to. Patience

- the Weird Spots and the Weak Spots will continue to shift around. i have this one area in the middle of my range (currently its about Ab3-B3, but a few weeks ago it was B3-C4) where its weird and weak and its kind of like a break in register but also a bit like a black hole, bc i Cannot Project there and theres no good placement for singing those notes, and notes in the vicinity of those are also Weird but Less So. it’s slowly sliding downwards, and i am learning to navigate it better. i’m hoping it will settle and go away soon, but we’ll see

- breath support is v important. as mentioned, your voice may be quite fragile, and putting strain on it could cause it to glitch out on you for a while. supporting your voice w lots of breath will put less demand on your vocal chords

- NEVER SING IN A BINDER or compressive garment. you need those lungs!

- you’re going to miss out on some of the nostalgic singalongs of old choir songs, bc you no longer have the range to sing your old parts. this is possibly the #1 consequence of transitioning that im the most sad about lol

- i have a very weird quality to my high range rn. it seems to be caught midway between the head voice it used to be and future falsetto or whatever it’s moving toward. for now its just Strange to listen to

the current state of my voice is this:

low range is down to almost the bottom of the bass clef. i can sing down to Bb2, A2 on a good day.

from there up to F3ish is quite comfy and possibly the strongest part of my singing voice, but i do find that if i spend too much time down there it can strain the rest of my range (i used to have this problem before too: if i sang in my low alto range too much or too enthusiastically, my sop range would get tired).

from G3-C4, it’s Awkward. the Awkwardness shifts around, and some parts of it can be more comfy than others sometimes, but it’s all v inconsistent. i cant project much here, and placement is veryvery Weird.

D4-F4ish is typically comfy but has a bit of that Strange quality to it. these notes are a bit floaty, but not bad.

G4-B4 are unreliable. somedays i can get up there. some days it’ll blink out or crack or break or just Not Be There. i am predicting that once my high range settles into a proper falsetto, i’ll be able to work on this range more and it’ll have less of that Strange quality to it, but only time will tell

again, apologies for being Scattered, it’s 1am and ive had a long day. any of yall are welcome to message me for more details ☺

there is a lot of weirdness and weakness and Awkward in the transition period. but while i’m frustrated at times, i’m not worried. everything i’m dealing w is temporary. now i can’t be 100% sure how my voice will settle or when, but i’m not afraid i’ve lost it forever. as far as i’ve heard, the stories of trans ppl who lose their singing voice on t are very rare cases. youre going to go through weeks or months where singing is Weird in constantly shifting ways, but itll keep on moving and developing, and personally i’m so excited to see where it goes.

i’m currently singing tenor2 in my choirs, and occasionally i get to take a trip down and sing baritone. im not even 6months in! that has transformed my choir experience to be even better than before, even w all the awkwardness. it was so weird and beginning to get verg uncomfy to be in a place like choir, which is so important to me, which i love dearly, which has had a significant impact on my life, but which revolved around the use of my one most dysphoric feature. but now i don’t have to worry about that. now i can sing the parts i’ve been wanting to sing for years.

i do occasionally miss some of my old voice. i miss soaring soprano lines, i miss all the old alto parts in songs i used to know. i miss the confidence and strength of a familiar, complete voice. and im allowed to miss those, i dont feel bad about having that longing or sadness, bc i have zero regrets. i also occasionally miss playing with and styling my super long hair, but in five years i have not once regretted cutting it all off. i own those memories and that nostalgia, but i keep moving forward to new and better things

pinesboi said: If you keep working at your voice and take lessons to make sure you never let it get out of practice, everything should be okay. I’m on T now about 3-4 months, and I’m still singing high tenor musical theatre